Hyde St Violence Ditching Monogamy Saintly Body Parts
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ISSUE 02 06 MAR 2017 Saintly Body Parts Ditching Monogamy Hyde St Violence ON SALE NOW BULLDOGS VS WARRIORS *Service fees apply. Contents ON SALE NOW Features Their Sea or Ours? Exploring Shark Management in Australia. Unfortunately for all marine life, shark nets are blind and indiscriminate. By Sam Fraser-Baxter p20 Dating the Seven 24 Foreskins of Jesus Religious relics may or may not reveal the secrets of the divine, but scientists have begun to unravel the secrets of their history. By Lucy Hunter p24 Polyamory: Why Not Both? Monogamy hasn’t turned out as fulfilling as society said it Couple/wyatt fisher/Modified CC-2.0/flickr fisher/Modified Couple/wyatt 20 28 would be. By Isaac Yu p28 News & Opinion Columns Culture 5 Editorial 32 Music 40 Letters 7 News 34 Film 41 Science, Bitches 12 News in Briefs 36 Art 42 Voices from Beyond the Grad 14 How to Keep talking when 37 Books 43 Critic Booze Reviews the World is Upside Down 38 Games 43 Economics Everywhere 15 David Clark 39 Food 44 Ethel and Hyde 2017 Issue 02 | Mar 16 Politics 44 Vitalogy 18 Sports 45 The Hell Hole 46 Cookin’ Up Love 47 OUSA BULLDOGS VS WARRIORS *Service fees apply. 07 GET SWEET LOOT WITH A 2017 ONECARD ACTIVATE YOURS ONLINE AT R1.CO.NZ/ONECARD ALTO CAFE NOOK FLASH YOUR 2017 Bacon & Egg Sandwich or BLT + Regular Treatment, cut & blow wave for $69. Cut, ONECARD AT ANY Coffee for $10, Mon - Fri 7am - 11.30am blow wave, colour & treatment for $150. 1/2 head foils, cut, blow wave, toner & treatment OF THESE FINE BIGGIES PIZZA for $164 $8 off any pizza purchase.* BUSINESSES AND OUTSIDE SPORTS BOWL LINE 15% off rental, 15% off workshop, and 10% off SAVE CA$H MONEY! 2 games of bowling for $15* retail (full price items only)* AMAZON THE CAPTAIN COOK HOTEL PARDAL HAIR STUDIO 10% off full-priced items, not in $10 for coffee and a Bacon Buttie, anytime Student women’s haircut $40, re-style $50, conjunction with any other offer, only before 5pm available in store. men’s haircut $25. Foils or balayage/ombre, toner, hot towel treatment, eyelash tint, CORNERSTONE INK haircut, blowave for $199* BURGER KING 10% off per hour 2 Cheeseburgers for $3* PHONE SURGEONS FORTUNE THEATRE 10% off all phone, tablet & computer repairs CAPERS CAFE 2-for-1 tickets on Wednesday night 2 for 1 gourmet pancakes* performances* PITA PIT Buy any petita size pita and get upgraded to CELLO HELL PIZZA a regular* 5% off Logitech, 10% off Labour, 10% off Spend $20 or more and receive either free network & data cables. Plus iPad/iMac/ MacBook educational pricing. wedges, garlic bread, or a 1.5L drink* POPPA’S PIZZA Free garlic bread with any regular or large HOT YOGA pizza* COSMIC 5 classes for $50* 10% student discount PURE BEAUTY INCH BAR 20% off eyelash extensions, $25 spray tans, LUMINO THE DENTISTS $1 off Emerson’s draught pints $69 new patient exams and x-rays, plus Student Brazilian with free eyebrow shape 10% off further treatments* $35 LEGIT LTD 50% off stickers MEGAZONE ROB ROY DAIRY Buy two games of mini golf or laser tag Free upgrade to a waffle cone ever Monday and get a third free LIQUID ASSETS JUICE BAR & Tuesday* 12.5% off all juices SUBWAY RAPUNZEL’S LONE STAR Monday to Friday, 1/2 head of foils Buy any six-inch meal deal and upgrade to a Up to 25% off selected beverages when you including toner for $99, women’s cut footlong meal deal for free* from $39, men’s cut from $29* book a function with us. $20 selected Beer Pitchers. $15 Margarita Jugs* SUPER SHUTTLES STIRLING SPORTS $20 to/from the airport 12.5% off all non-sale items MOBIL ANZAC AVE 2 x 500mL Lift Plus for $4 T.M. AUTOMOTIVE THE POOLHOUSE $50 Warrant of Fitness fee CAFE & BAR NANDO’S $9 for 1-hour pool table hire* Free regular peri-peri chips with every flame- VAPOURIUM grilled chicken, wrap, pita or burger. Free Get 20ml free with any starter kit VOID CLOTHING chips upgrade with combo meals* 10% off all non-sale items *terms and conditions apply, see r1.co.nz/onecard for details Editorial 5 GET SWEET LOOT WITH A No One But Us Can Ensure THE CRITIC TEAM 2017 ONECARD Our Voices Are Heard EDITOR LUCY HUNTER EXECUTIVE EDITOR JOE HIGHAM ACTIVATE YOURS ONLINE ILLUSTRATOR & DESIGNER CERI GIDDENS DESIGNER NATASHA MURACHVER AT R1.CO.NZ/ONECARD CHIEF REPORTER JOEL MACMANUS NEWS INTERN ANNA LINTON SUB EDITOR CHARLIE O’MANNIN ALTO CAFE NOOK FLASH YOUR 2017 Bacon & Egg Sandwich or BLT + Regular Treatment, cut & blow wave for $69. Cut, ONECARD AT ANY Coffee for $10, Mon - Fri 7am - 11.30am blow wave, colour & treatment for $150. 1/2 SECTION EDITORS head foils, cut, blow wave, toner & treatment OF THESE FINE BIGGIES PIZZA for $164 ART EDITOR MONIQUE HODGKINSON $8 off any pizza purchase.* FILM EDITOR LAURA STARLING BUSINESSES AND OUTSIDE SPORTS MUSIC EDITOR BIANCA PRUJEAN & REG NORRIS BOOKS EDITOR JESSICA THOMPSON CARR BOWL LINE 15% off rental, 15% off workshop, and 10% off n Wednesday last week, a small group of That’s not to say there aren’t examples of students GAMES EDITOR CAMPBELL CALVERLEY SAVE CA$H MONEY! 2 games of bowling for $15* retail (full price items only)* protesters gathered to oppose the presence protesting, the Goldman Sachs protest is one example SPORT EDITOR CHARLIE HANTLER POLITICS EDITOR GEORGE ELLIOTT AMAZON THE CAPTAIN COOK HOTEL PARDAL HAIR STUDIO of global finance company Goldman Sachs of this. Another came last year when the Students for Oon campus because of their investment in the Dakota Environmental Action (SEA) protested outside the Uni- 10% off full-priced items, not in $10 for coffee and a Bacon Buttie, anytime Student women’s haircut $40, re-style $50, conjunction with any other offer, only before 5pm Access Pipeline (see page seven for more information). versity Clocktower and helped to force Otago University CONTRIBUTORS available in store. men’s haircut $25. Foils or balayage/ombre, toner, hot towel treatment, eyelash tint, The group was no larger than fifteen at any given time, to commit to divesting from fossil fuels. Unfortunately, ISAAC YU, SAM FRASER, POPPY HENDERSON, CORNERSTONE INK haircut, blowave for $199* and at several points throughout the protest shrunk to this course of action is a rarity. BEN CRAVENS, DANNI PINTACASI, JAXON LANGLEY, SASKIA BUNCE-RATH, FLORENCE BURGER KING 10% off per hour fewer than five. Even student politics is barely political anymore. 2 Cheeseburgers for $3* DEAN, TYLER WEST, ERIN BROUGHTON, JAMES PHONE SURGEONS This is yet another example of how 18-30 year olds It’s now so far removed from political ideology that FORTUNE THEATRE MACLAURIN, JUSTENE ALLEN, DAVID CLARK, 10% off all phone, tablet & computer repairs have become, on the whole, largely apathetic to politics it’s simply become a contest of ‘popularity’ and ‘com- LUCY NORTHWOOD, ANNA LINTON, JACK CAPERS CAFE 2-for-1 tickets on Wednesday night and as a result are being ignored by the political estab- petency’ as opposed to a disagreement between the TREVELLA 2 for 1 gourmet pancakes* performances* PITA PIT lishment. In the last general election, for example, the ideological left or right. The OUSA Executive constantly Buy any petita size pita and get upgraded to DISTRIBUTION SAM LLOYD seven electorates with the lowest enrollment rates were make decisions on your behalf, many of which reflect CELLO HELL PIZZA a regular* ONLINE CONTENT MANAGER AMAN JAMWAL 5% off Logitech, 10% off Labour, 10% off Spend $20 or more and receive either free also those with the highest student populations (North the underlying ideological leanings of its members as network & data cables. Plus iPad/iMac/ Dunedin was the 6th lowest nationally). The 18-24 age a whole, but they certainly don’t flaunt their political MacBook educational pricing. wedges, garlic bread, or a 1.5L drink* POPPA’S PIZZA Free garlic bread with any regular or large range also had the second highest total enrollments affiliations. If they can become elected without ideo- ADVERTISING SALES TIM COUCH, PETER RAMSAY, HOT YOGA pizza* (behind only the ever increasing 70+ bracket), but logical affiliation, they can work on your behalf on the COSMIC 5 classes for $50* JESS DRYSDALE 10% student discount have the equal lowest voter turnout (as a percentage same basis. When you next see your student executive, PURE BEAUTY of total enrolled), with the second lowest being the ask them where they stand on the the political spec- INCH BAR 20% off eyelash extensions, $25 spray tans, 25-29 age range. trum; their reply will inevitably be “we’re not actually LUMINO THE DENTISTS $1 off Emerson’s draught pints $69 new patient exams and x-rays, plus Student Brazilian with free eyebrow shape We’ve gone from being politically disillusioned to affiliated to a political ideology.” Press them and then 10% off further treatments* $35 LEGIT LTD politically disinterested, and our voices aren’t being press them again. 50% off stickers heard simply because we’re not making them be heard, Of the two arguably most famous protests at Otago ROB ROY DAIRY 2017 Issue 02 | Mar MEGAZONE either at election time or, when in between elections, University, the first came in the late ‘60s when students READ ONLINE Buy two games of mini golf or laser tag Free upgrade to a waffle cone ever Monday LIQUID ASSETS JUICE BAR in protest at decisions that affect us. Local and National took to the streets to protest the university’s prohibition CRITIC.CO.NZ and get a third free & Tuesday* ISSUU.COM/CRITIC_TE_AROHI 12.5% off all juices Government are ignoring our needs in preference of on mixed flatting.