Fractal Performativity of Vulnerable Resistance Diana L
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Southern Illinois University Carbondale OpenSIUC Dissertations Theses and Dissertations 12-19-2009 Homeplace of Hands: Fractal Performativity of Vulnerable Resistance Diana L. Tigerlily Southern Illinois University Carbondale, [email protected] Follow this and additional works at: http://opensiuc.lib.siu.edu/dissertations Recommended Citation Tigerlily, Diana L., "Homeplace of Hands: Fractal Performativity of Vulnerable Resistance" (2009). Dissertations. Paper 65. This Open Access Dissertation is brought to you for free and open access by the Theses and Dissertations at OpenSIUC. It has been accepted for inclusion in Dissertations by an authorized administrator of OpenSIUC. For more information, please contact [email protected]. HOMEPLACE OF HANDS: FRACTAL PERFORMATIVITY OF VULNERABLE RESISTANCE by Diana L. Tigerlily B.A., Eastern Illinois University, 1993 M.A., Eastern Illinois University, 1995 A Dissertation Submitted in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Doctor of Philosophy Degree Department of Speech Communication Southern Illinois University Carbondale December 2009 Copyright by Diana L. Tigerlily, 2009 All Rights Reserved DISSERTATION APPROVAL HOMEPLACE OF HANDS: FRACTAL PERFORMATIVITY OF VULNERABLE RESISTANCE By Diana L. Tigerlily A Dissertation Submitted in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Degree of Doctor of Philosophy in the field of Speech Communication Approved by: Dr. Elyse Pineau, Chair Dr. Ronald J. Pelias Dr. Craig Gingrich-Philbrook Dr. Jonathan M. Gray Dr. M. Joan McDermott Graduate School Southern Illinois University Carbondale September 24, 2009 AN ABSTRACT OF THE DISSERTATION OF DIANA L. TIGERLILY, for the Doctor of Philosophy degree in SPEECH COMMUNICATION, presented on September 24, 2009, at Southern Illinois University Carbondale. TITLE: HOMEPLACE OF HANDS: FRACTAL PERFORMATIVITY OF VULNERABLE RESISTANCE MAJOR PROFESSOR: Dr. Elyse Pineau Homeplace of Hands: Fractal Performativity of Vulnerable Resistance is a feminist autoethnography of possibility that puts on display two new concepts I’ve named fractal performativity and vulnerable resistance. Fractal performativity as a way of seeing is an integrative performance methodology that utilizes fractal geometry and performative autoethnography and brings together performance studies, feminist theory, multiethnic literature, personal story and poetry to communicate vulnerable resistance as a strategy for social transformation and selfhood. Vulnerable resistance as a way of being embodies a praxis of homeplace enacted through five modes I’ve identified as nurturance, sustenance, maintenance, performance, and alliance, expressed through the daily work of the hand as a metaphor, tool, and fractal. Deploying fractal performativity as an integrative method and conceptual framework, I design the fractal hand as a template that embodies intersecting identities and holds my stories as I cultivate homeplace and enact vulnerable resistance through the five modes. For scholar-artist- activists working on the margins, this integrative strategy offers hope to keep coming back day after day, and a template for cultivating homeplace of vulnerable resistance. Key Words: feminist autoethnography, performative writing, fractals, vulnerable resistance, homeplace i ACKNOWLEDGMENTS Raynah Genevieve, thank you for teaching me infinite love. Gregory Reid, thank you for loving me at my messiest, for your goodness and strength, and for walking the spiral with me. Amber Lynn Zimmerman, thank you for the long conversations and for your clarity, compassion, and insight. Stacie Lawley, thank you for your wisdom, kindness, nurturance, and love. Elizabeth Lakin, thank you for your healing power and our shared journey. Nicole Defenbaugh, thank you for seeing me as a wise woman. Elyse Pineau, thank you for trusting my process. Ron Pelias, thank you for believing in me as a writer. Craig Gingrich-Philbrook, thank you for inspiring me by performing your way of seeing. Jonny Gray, thank you for the influential beauty of your nature journals. Joan McDermott, thank you for your feminist mentoring, and for gifting me with the writing spirit through your favorite aunt’s gemstone pearls. To my parents, Marie and David, thank you for the power of your love. To all my family and friends, thank you for supporting me as I’ve labored to birth this dissertation. Like midwives, you’ve been patient and present, ready to greet the life of these pages with open hands. I appreciate you. ii TABLE OF CONTENTS CHAPTER PAGE ABSTRACT .................................................................................................................... i ACKNOWLEDGMENTS ............................................................................................. ii FIGURE 1: MAPPING THE FRACTAL HAND..…………………………………....vi CHAPTERS CHAPTER 1 –Introducing Fractal Performativity of Vulnerable Resistance .... 1 Part I: Terminology of Vulnerable Resistance and Homeplace…......…6 Vulnerable Resistance……………………………………...…..7 Homeplace………………………………………………...…..13 Homeplace and Five Modes of Vulnerable Resistance……….16 Part II: Methodology of Fractal Performativity………………………20 Fractals and their Qualities…………………………………....21 Hand as Metaphor, Tool, and Fractal………………………....26 Fractals as a Way of Seeing…………………………………..29 Performance Studies………………………………………….31 Fractal Performativity as a Unifying Schema……………..….33 Scholars Utilizing Fractals as an Organizing Theme…………38 Fractal Performativity: An Integrative Performance Method...42 CHAPTER 2 –Vulnerable Resistance as Nurturance …………………...…....54 Homeplace of Nurturance…………………………………………….54 Nurturing Hands Embodying Nurturance: Tita’s Hands……………..62 Nurturing Hands Embodying Maintenance: Death Calls…………….69 iii Nurturing Hands Embodying Alliance: Transforming Grief ………...81 Nurturing Hands Embodying Performance: A Trinity ………………93 Nurturing Hands Embodying Sustenance: Doves…………………..106 CHAPTER 3 –Vulnerable Resistance as Sustenance……………………….111 Homeplace of Sustenance…………………………………………...111 Sustaining Hands Embodying Alliance: Women’s Gathering……...127 Sustaining Hands Embodying Performance: Coffee and Granola….132 Sustaining Hands Embodying Maintenance: Sword and wordS …..145 Sustaining Hands Embodying Sustenance: Owls…………………..152 Sustaining Hands Embodying Nurturance: Story of My Name……156 CHAPTER 4 –Vulnerable Resistance as Maintenance…………………….168 Homeplace of Maintenance………………………………………...168 Maintaining Hands Embodying Performance: Prayer as Anchor…..180 Maintaining Hands Embodying Sustenance: Journaling Homeplace.181 Maintaining Hands Embodying Maintenance: Sugar Creek………..190 Maintaining Hands Embodying Alliance: Intuitive Bodies………...193 Maintaining Hands Embodying Nurturance: Brick, Breath, Word…198 CHAPTER 5 –Vulnerable Resistance as Performance……………………..204 Homeplace of Performance…………………………………………204 Performing Hands Embodying Performance: Depleting Patriarchy..210 Performing Hands Embodying Alliance: Pedagogy of the Erotic.....219 Performing Hands Embodying Maintenance: Integrating Self….....231 Performing Hands Embodying Sustenance: House Blessing……....242 iv Performing Hands Embodying Nurturance: Lebanon/Israel……….247 CHAPTER 6 – Vulnerable Resistance as Alliance………………………...251 Homeplace of Alliance……………………………………………..251 Allying Hands Embodying Alliance: Loving Each Other………....259 Allying Hands Embodying Nurturance: Sitdy’s Kitchen…..……...266 Allying Hands Embodying Performance: Running Relationship... 270 Allying Hands Embodying Sustenance: Louie Hill……………….276 Allying Hands Embodying Maintenance: Vulnerable Listening….285 CHAPTER 7 – The Fractal Hand: Opening into Possibility………………290 WORKS CITED…………………………………………………………..303 VITA........................................................................................................................324 v !"#$%#&'()"!*"+#%,-,%.'*!'%/)'/#01 #" AF &" $" AE AG AD '@' !" >' 6 AC '''A %" 9 B !23456'78'+9::2;3'<=6'!59><9?'/9;@ !"#$%!&'()#*+#,-')./012-3#4)!1'!5#6()7.)8!'292':#.7#;05-()!<5(#=(>2>'!-1( <"#$%!&'()#?+#;05-()!<5(#=(>2>'!-1(#!>#@0)'0)!-1(######################################################################################################################################################## #####<*"#A.8(&5!1(#.7#@0)'0)!-1(#### #####<?"#@0)'0)2-3#A!-/>#B8<./:2-3#@0)'0)!-1(+#C2'!D>#A!-/> #####<E"#@0)'0)2-3#A!-/>#B8<./:2-3#F!2-'(-!-1(+#G(!'%#$!55> #####<H"#@0)'0)2-3#A!-/>#B8<./:2-3#I552!-1(+#C)!->7.)82-3#J)2(7# #####<K"#@0)'0)2-3#A!-/>#B8<./:2-3#6()7.)8!-1(+#I#C)2-2':# #####<L"#@0)'0)2-3#A!-/>#B8<./:2-3#M0>'(-!-1(+#G.9(> 1"#$%!&'()#E+#;05-()!<5(#=(>2>'!-1(#!>#M0>'(-!-1(# #####1*"#A.8(&5!1(#.7#M0>'(-!-1(# #####1?"#M0>'!2-2-3#A!-/>#B8<./:2-3#I552!-1(+#N.8(-D>#J!'%()2-3 #####1E"#M0>'!2-2-3#A!-/>#B8<./:2-3#6()7.)8!-1(+#$.77((#!-/#J)!-.5! 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