Cub Scout Campfire Compilation Songs, Stories & Cheers

Home , 20 Years Paranoid, Animal song, Back Seat (of My Jeep), Blew, Boom Chicka Boom, Cheers (Drink to That)

32. GRIMY GREASY GOPHER GUTS ...... 18 Contents 33. GOTTA BOOGA ...... 19 34. HAGALEENA HAGALEENA MAGALEENA ...... 19 CAMPFIRE SONGS ...... 5 35. HEAD, SHOULDERS, KNEES AND TOES ...... 20 1. AIN'T NO BUGS ON ME SONG ...... 5 36. HERMAN THE WORM'N ...... 20 2. AIN'T THAT FUNKY NOW ...... 6 37. HE'S GOT THE WHOLE WORLD ...... 20 3. ALBERTA BOUND ...... 7 38. THE HIPPOPOTAMUS SONG ...... 20 4. ANIMAL SONG ...... 8 39. HOLE IN THE BOTTOM OF THE SEA ...... 21 5. AND THE GREEN GRASS GREW ALL AROUND ...... 8 40. HOKEY POKEY ...... 21 6. BEAR SONG: I MET A BEAR ...... 8 41. I KNOW AN OLD LADY ...... 21 7. BARRETT’S PRIVATEERS ...... 9 42. I MET A BEAR ...... 21 8. BILL GROGAN’S GOAT ...... 10 43. IF YOU'RE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT ...... 22 9. BINGO ...... 10 44. IF YOU’RE LOST AND YOU KNOW IT ...... 22 10. BLUE JAY ...... 10 45. I'VE GOT A HEAD LIKE A PING PONG BALL ...... 23 11. BOOGIE WOOGIE WASHER WOMAN ...... 11 46. IT’S A SMALL WORLD ...... 23 12. BOOM CHICKA BOOM ...... 11 47. I’VE BEEN WORKING ON THE RAILROAD ...... 23 13. BREAKFAST ...... 12 48. JUNGLE BOOK RAP ...... 23 14. CANNIBAL KING ...... 12 49. KING OF CARACTACUS ...... 24 15. COMING OF THE FROGS ...... 13 50. KUM BY YAH ...... 24 16. CUDDLY KOALAS ...... 13 51. LAND OF THE SILVER BIRCH ...... 24 17. DEAD DOG ROVER ...... 13 52. THE LITTLEST WORM ...... 24 18. DECK THE HALLS ...... 14 53. I WANT TO LINGER ...... 25 19. DON’T WEAR NO SOCKS SONG ...... 14 54. MOOSE SONG ...... 25 20. DOWN BY THE BAY ...... 15 55. MOUNTAIN DEW SONG ...... 25 21. DO YOUR EARS HANG LOW ...... 15 56. MRS. O'LEARY'S COW (OLD MOTHER LEARY) ...... 27 22. FAREWELL TO NOVA SCOTIA ...... 15 57. MY BONNIE ...... 27 23. FIRE’S BURNING (CAMPFIRE) ...... 16 58. MY MOMMA DON'T WEAR NO SOCKS ...... 28 24. FRUIT SALAD ...... 16 59. MY STOMACH HAS HAD IT! ...... 28 25. FRANKENSTEIN SONG ...... 16 60. MY TURKEY ...... 29 26. GA GOO ...... 16 61. NOBODY LIKES ME ...... 29 27. GOOD KING WENCES ...... 17 62. ON TOP OF SPAGHETTI ...... 30 28. GOOD OLE HOCKEY GAME ...... 17 63. PAW PAW PATCH ...... 30 29. GING GANG GOOLI ...... 17 64. PINK PAJAMAS ...... 30 30. GOING ON A LION HUNT ...... 17 65. PUFF THE MAGIC DRAGON ...... 30 31. GRANNY'S IN THE CELLAR SONG ...... 18 66. PURPLE STEW ...... 31

67. QUARTERMASTER’S STORE ...... 31 CAMPFIRE STORIES ...... 41 68. RAVIOLI ...... 31 1. BRICKLAYERS ACCIDENT REPORT STORY ...... 41 69. THE ROOSTER SONG ...... 32 2. 'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS, ...... 41 70. ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT ...... 32 3. PURPLE GORILLA STORY ...... 42 71. SAM SAM THE LAVATORY MAN ...... 32 4. GLOOP MAKER STORY ...... 44 72. SAY WHY ...... 32 5. DARK SUCKERS STORY ...... 45 73. SHABOOM SHABOOM ...... 32 6. THE MEDICRIN STORY ...... 45 74. SHAKE ANOTHER HAND ...... 33 7. THE MOST POPULAR MAN STORY ...... 47 75. SHAVING CREAM SONG ...... 33 8. CREMATION OF SAM MCGEE STORY ...... 47 76. SINGING IN THE RAIN ...... 33 9. GHOST TRAIN ...... 49 77. THE SLAVES OF JOB ...... 33 10. VINDER VIPER STORY ...... 49 78. SLEEPY SCOUTER ...... 34 11. SOME SPECIAL PIG STORY ...... 50 79. TARZAN ...... 34 12. BALLAD OF JOHNNY O'DELL ...... 50 80. THE GRAND OLD DUKE OF YORK ...... 34 13. SHAGGY DOG STORY ...... 51 81. THE BEAR WENT OVER THE MOUNTAIN ...... 34 14. THE EMERALD RING (SCARY STORY) ...... 52 82. THE MORE WE SHARE TOGETHER ...... 35 15. GHOST WITH ONE BLACK EYE STORY ...... 53 83. THE PRINCESS PAT ...... 35 16. NAIL IN THE ATTIC STORY ...... 54 84. THE SECOND STORY WINDOW ...... 35 17. RED SLOPPITY LIPS ...... 54 85. THE TWELVE DAYS OF CAMP ...... 35 18. JOB AT THE ZOO ...... 55 86. THE WOLVES WENT HUNTING ...... 36 19. BLOODY FINGER ...... 56 87. THIS OLD MAN ...... 36 20. FARMER JONES AND THE BIG QUAKE ...... 56 88. THERE AIN'T NO FLIES ON US ...... 36 21. A HOUSE OF TERROR ...... 57 89. THERE WAS AN OLD LADY ...... 36 22. 10 HOLES ...... 58 90. THERE’S A HOLE IN MY BUCKET ...... 37 23. GIRL AT THE UNDERPASS ...... 59 91. THIS LAND IS YOUR LAND ...... 37 24. ON WASHINGTON ROCK ...... 59 92. THREE BLACK BUZZARDS ...... 37 25. LA MALA HORA ...... 60 93. TIE ME KANGAROO DOWN SPORT ...... 38 26. ABIYOYO ...... 61 94. TOM THE TOAD ...... 38 27. AKKI TAKKI TONGA ...... 62 95. WALDIEOTCHA ...... 39 96. WALTZING MATILDA ...... 39 CAMPFIRE CHEERS ...... 64 97. WE'RE AT CAMP ...... 40 98. WORM SONG ...... 40 SCOUT CAMP GRACES ...... 69 99. YOGI BEAR ...... 40 1. ALPHABET GRACE ...... 69 2. JOHNNY APPLESEED ...... 69 3. SUPERMAN ...... 69

4. FLINTSTONES ...... 69 4. TABLE GAME ...... 70 5. ADDAMS FAMILY ...... 69 5. LLAMA MAMA ...... 70 6. EDELWEISS ...... 69 6. STRONG & ABLE ...... 70 7. ZIPADEE DO DA ...... 69 8. WE WILL ROCK YOU ...... 69 SCOUT VESPERS ...... 71

SCOUT TABLE GAMES ...... 70 ANNOUNCEMENTS ...... 73

1. TELEPHONE GAME ...... 70

2. DUCK GAME ...... 70 3. SHOW US HOW TO GET DOWN! ...... 70

As I went walking through the woods Campfire Songs Humming a tune so gaily The wind come whistling through the trees 1. Ain't No Bugs on Me Song And froze my ukelele

(Tune: Ain’t gonna rain no more): Oh there ain't no lobsters on me http://www.songsforteaching.com/folk/ohitaintgonn There, ain't no lobsters on me arainnomorenomore.htm There may be lobsters On some of you mobsters But there ain't no lobsters on me. Oh, there ain't no bugs on me, on me. There ain't no bugs on me Oh it ain't gonna rain no more no more There may be bugs on some of you mugs It ain't gonna rain no more But there ain't no bugs on me. How in the heck can I wash my neck When it ain't gonna rain no more? Oh there ain't no flies on me, on me. There ain't no flies on me. Well little bugs have littler bugs. There may be flies on some of you guys Up on their backs to bite'em But there ain't no flies on me. And the littler bugs have still littler bugs And so ad infinitum. Well, the Juney bug comes in the month of June The lightning bug comes in May We had a cat down on our farm Bed bug comes just any old time It had a ball of yarn But, they're not going to stay When those little cats were born They all had sweaters on Well, a bull frog sittin' on a lily pad Looking up at the sky She lay down by the sewer The lily pad broke and the frog fell in And by the sewer she died He got water all in his eye. And at the coroner's inquest They called it sewer side There ain't no frogs on us. There ain't no frogs on us. We had a goat down on our farm There might be frogs on some of you dogs, It ate up old tin cans But there ain't no frogs on us. When those little goats were born They came in Ford sedans Mosquito he fly high Mosquito he fly low Some people say that fleas are black If old mosquito lands on me But I know that ain't so He ain't a gonna fly no mo' 'Cause Marry had a little lamb Whose fleece was white as snow A peanut sittin' on a railroad track His heart was all a flutter Mary had a little lamb, Along come a choo-choo on the track so goes the tale of yore. Toot! Toot! Peanut butter! She loved that little lamb so much, she passed the plate for more. A cow walked on the railroad track, the train was coming fast. I woke up in the morning, The train got off the railroad track I glanced upon the wall. to let the cow go past! The roaches and the bedbugs were having a game of ball. 5

The score was six to nothing, Hickery dickery dock, the mouse ran up the clock, the roaches were ahead. the clock struck one, and down he run and said... A bedbug hit a home run WHOA, ain't that Funky now! and knocked me out of bed! [Clap, Clap]

The chamber maid came to my bed Little Miss Muffet sat on a tuffet eating her curds and Get up you lazy sinner whey We need the sheets for table cloths When along came a spider and sat down beside her and And it's almost time for dinner said... WHOA, ain't that Funky now! Jack and Jill went up the hill [Clap, Clap] To try out Jack's new flivver The car broke down a mile from town Baa Baa Black sheep have you any wool, And dumped them in the river. Yes sir, yes sir, three bags full, One for my master and one for the dame, A doctor fell into a well And one for the little boy who said... and broke his collar bone. WHOA, ain't that Funky now! We think that he should tend the sick [Clap, Clap] and leave the well alone. It's raining, it's pouring, the old man is snoring, A farmer slipped on the old barn roof he went to bed and bumped his head and said... when rotten boards gave way, WHOA, ain't that Funky now! And as as he fell, he shrugged and said, [Clap, Clap] 'It's time to hit the hay.' I'm a little tea pot short and stout, Humpty Dumpty fell right down this is my handle and this is my spout, and landed on his head, when you tip me over I will shout... So, all the horses and the menhad scrambled eggs and WHOA, ain't that Funky now! bread. [Clap, Clap]

2. Ain't That Funky Now Yankee Doodle went to town a-ridin' on his pony, Stuck a feather in his hat and said... This is popular, probably because its just so silly and WHOA, ain't that Funky now! scouts can easily create more verses. It's more of a [Clap, Clap] chant than a song. On the ‘WHOA – ain’t that funky now” put on your James Brown impression!! Old mother Hubbard went to the cupboard to get her poor dog a bone, Lyrics: but when she got there, the cupboard was bare and she Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, said... Humpty Dumpty had a great fall, WHOA, ain't that Funky now! All the king's horses and all of the king's men said... [Clap, Clap] WHOA, ain't that Funky now! [Clap, Clap] Eeny meeny miny moe, catch a tiger by the toe, if he hollers make him say... Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water, WHOA, ain't that Funky now! Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill said... [Clap, Clap] WHOA, ain't that Funky now! [Clap, Clap] 6

All around the mulbery bush the monkey chased the weasle, Little boy blue come blow your horn, The monkey thought it was all in fun, and said... The sheeps in the meadow, the cows in the corn... WHOA, ain't that Funky now! WHOA, ain't that Funky now! [Clap, Clap] [Clap, Clap]

Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater had a wife and couldn't Little Bo Peep has lost her sheep keep her, And doesn't know where to fine them... Put her in a pumpkin shell and she said... WHOA, ain't that Funky now! WHOA, ain't that Funky now! [Clap, Clap] [Clap, Clap] Mary had a little lamb, its fleece was white as snow, This little piggy went to market, And everywhere that Mary went, the lamb was sure to This little piggy stayed home. go... This little piggy had roast beef, WHOA, ain't that Funky now! And this little piggy had none. [Clap, Clap] And this little piggy said... WHOA, ain't that Funky now! 3. Alberta Bound [Clap, Clap] http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xK3kHHZLi38&feat The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout. ure=related Down came the rain and washed the spider out. Out came the sun and dried up all the water. Oh the prairie lights are burnin' bright The itsy bitsy spider said... The Chinook wind is a-movin' in WHOA, ain't that Funky now! Tomorrow night I'll be Alberta bound [Clap, Clap] Though I've done the best I could My old luck ain't been so good and Rub-a-dub-dub-dub three men in a tub,... Tomorrow night I'll be Alberta bound WHOA, ain't that Funky now! No one-eyed man could e'er forget [Clap, Clap] The Rocky Mountain sunset It's a pleasure just to be Alberta bound Ole King Kole was a merry old soul, I long to see my next of kin And a merry old soul was he. To know what kind of shape they're in He called for his pipe and he called for his bowl, Tomorrow night I'll be Alberta bound And he said... Alberta bound, Alberta bound WHOA, ain't that Funky now! It's good to be Alberta bound [Clap, Clap] Alberta bound, Alberta bound It's good to be Alberta bound There was an old woman who lived in a shoe, She has so many children, she said... Oh the skyline of Toronto WHOA, ain't that Funky now! Is somethin' you'll get onto [Clap, Clap] But they say you've got to live there for a while And if you got the money Hey diddle diddle the cat and fiddle, You can get yourself a honey The cow jumped over the moon. A written guarantee ta make you smile The little dog laughed to see such sport But it's snowin' in the city And cat said... And the streets and brown and gritty WHOA, ain't that Funky now! And I know there's pretty girls all over town [Clap, Clap] But they never seem ta find me

And the one I left behind me Is the reason that I'll be Alberta bound For the next verses, add on as follows:

Alberta bound, Alberta bound there was a twig It's good to be Alberta bound there was a leaf Alberta bound, Alberta bound there was a nest It's good to be Alberta bound there was an egg It's good to be Alberta bound there was a bird there was a wing 4. Animal Song there was a feather there was a flea There was a …crocodile (chomping motion with arms) there was an ameoba An orangutan (monkey action) there was an ELEPHANT A silvery fish (slithery fish motion with hand) And an eagle flying (flap arms) For the last chorus: A rabbit (make rabbit ears) And the elephant was on the ground, and the green A beaver (make beaver teeth) grass grew all around, all around, and the green grass A crazy elephant! (make elephant trunk with one arm grew all around. swinging) Da na na na na, da na na na na! (swinging dancing 6. Bear Song: I met a Bear action, snapping fingers) (the tune of “the littlest worm) Repeat the song a number of times, taking out an animal each time till all you're left with are the The other day, I met a bear actions! A great big bear, a way out there

5. And the Green Grass Grew All Around He said to me, why don’t you run I see you ain’t got any gun (Repeat after me song) And so I ran away from there, There was a tree, But right behind me was the bear It was the prettiest tree, That you ever did see! Ahead of me, there was a tree A great big tree, oh glory be! Chorus (sung together) And the tree was in the ground, The nearest branch was ten feet up, And the green grass grew all around, all around, and I’d have to jump and trust my luck the green grass grew all around. And so I jumped into the air, And on that tree, But I missed that branch on the way up there There was a branch, It was the prettiest branch Now don’t you fret, now don’t you frown, That you ever did see! ‘Cause I caught that branch on the way back down!

Chorus (sung together) This is the end, There aint no more, And the branch was on the tree, Unless I see, That bear once more. And the tree was in the ground, And the green grass grew all around, all around, and the green grass grew all around. 8

7. Barrett’s Privateers On the 96th day we sailed again, HOW I WISH I WAS IN http://www.chivalry.com/cantaria/lyrics/barretts- SHERBROOKE NOW! privateers.html When a bloody great Yankee hove in sight With our cracked four pounders we made to fight Oh, the year was 1778, HOW I WISH I WAS IN SHERBROOKE NOW! God damn them all! A letter of marque came from the king, I was told we'd cruise the seas for American gold To the scummiest vessel I'd ever seen, We'd fire no guns-shed no tears Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier God damn them all! The last of Barrett's Privateers. I was told we'd cruise the seas for American gold We'd fire no guns-shed no tears The Yankee lay low down with gold, HOW I WISH I WAS Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier IN SHERBROOKE NOW! The last of Barrett's Privateers. She was broad and fat and loose in the stays But to catch her took the Antelope two whole days Oh, Elcid Barrett cried the town, HOW I WISH I WAS IN SHERBROOKE NOW! God damn them all! For twenty brave men all fishermen who I was told we'd cruise the seas for American gold would make for him the Antelope's crew We'd fire no guns-shed no tears Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier God damn them all! The last of Barrett's Privateers. I was told we'd cruise the seas for American gold We'd fire no guns-shed no tears Then at length we stood two cables away, HOW I WISH Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier I WAS IN SHERBROOKE NOW! The last of Barrett's Privateers. Our cracked four pounders made an awful din But with one fat ball the Yank stove us in The Antelope sloop was a sickening sight,HOW I WISH I WAS IN SHERBROOKE NOW! God damn them all! She'd a list to the port and her sails in rags I was told we'd cruise the seas for American gold And the cook in scuppers with the staggers and the We'd fire no guns-shed no tears jags Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier The last of Barrett's Privateers. God damn them all! I was told we'd cruise the seas for American gold The Antelope shook and pitched on her side, HOW I We'd fire no guns-shed no tears WISH I WAS IN SHERBROOKE NOW! Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier Barrett was smashed like a bowl of eggs The last of Barrett's Privateers. And the Maintruck carried off both me legs

On the King's birthday we put to sea, HOW I WISH I God damn them all! WAS IN SHERBROOKE NOW! I was told we'd cruise the seas for American gold We were 91 days to Montego Bay We'd fire no guns-shed no tears Pumping like madmen all the way Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier The last of Barrett's Privateers. God damn them all! I was told we'd cruise the seas for American gold So here I lay in my 23rd year, HOW I WISH I WAS IN We'd fire no guns-shed no tears SHERBROOKE NOW! Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier It's been 6 years since we sailed away The last of Barrett's Privateers. And I just made Halifax yesterday 9

Chorus: God damn them all! Pickin' up paw-paws; put 'em in a basket. I was told we'd cruise the seas for American gold Pickin' up paw-paws; put 'em in a basket. We'd fire no guns-shed no tears Pickin' up paw-paws; put 'em in a basket. Now I'm a broken man on a Halifax pier Way down yonder in the paw-paw patch. The last of Barrett's Privateers. Come along, boys, and let's go find her. 8. Bill Grogan’s Goat Come along, boys, and let's go find her. Come along, boys, and let's go find her. (tune = I met a bear) Way down yonder in the paw-paw patch. Leader sings and everyone repeats at each (*) - Chorus

Bill Grogan's goat,* was feeling fine.* She's a queen of old Hawaii. Ate three red shirts,* right off the line.* She's a queen of old Hawaii. She's a queen of old Hawaii. Bill took a stick,* gave him three whacks,* Way down yonder in the paw-paw patch. And tied him to,* the railroad tracks.* - Chorus

The whistle blew,* the train grew nigh;* She can teach you how to hula. Bill Grogan's goat,* was doomed to die.* She can teach you how to hula. She can teach you how to hula. He gave three moans,* of mortal pain,* Way down yonder in the paw-paw patch. Barfed up those shirts,* and flagged that train.* - Chorus

The Engineer,* got out to see,* 9. Bingo What in the world,* this thing could be.* Farmer Brown had a dog and Bingo was his name And when he saw,* It was a goat,* B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O, B-I-N-G-O Pulled out his knife,* and cut it's throat.* And Bingo was his name O. Repeat, each time replacing the last letter with a clap. Now Billy Goat* is really dead,* Farmer Brown had a dog and Bingo was his name He went to heaven,* without a head.* B-I-N-G-clap, B-I-N-G-clap, B-I-N-G-clap And Bingo was his name-O. And when he got there,* St. Peter said,* Farmer Brown had a dog and Bingo was his name 'Dear Billy Goat,* where is your head?'* B-I-N-clap-clap, B-I-N-clap-clap, B-I-N-clap-clap And Bingo was his name O. I do not know,* I can not tell,* For all I know,* It just may be ...* 10. Blue Jay Way down yonder in the paw paw patch.* Way down yonder, Not so very far off (can migrate right into the Paw Paw Patch song) A Blue Jay died of the whooping cough He whooped so hard with the whooping cough Lyrics: That he whooped his head and his tail right off Where, oh where, oh where is Susie? Where, oh where, oh where is Susie? Second verse same as the first Where, oh where, of where is Susie? A little bit louder and a little bit worse Way down yonder in the paw-paw patch.

... 5 – 10 verses I said a Broom Sweep-a Broom ... start whispering and end shouting / whooping I said a Broom Sweep-a Mop-a Sweep-a Mop-a Sweep-a Broom 11. Boogie Woogie Washer Woman Uh huh Oh yeah Way down the road where nobody goes, One more time Baseball style. There's a boogie-woogie washer woman washing her clothes, Baseball Style: Scrub, scrub, here, scrub, scrub, there, I said a boom chicka boom Scrub those stains right out of there! I said a boom chicka boom She goes: scrub, scrub, a-boogie, a-woogie, I said a boom chicka rocka hit that softball to the moon. Scrub, scrub and a-boogie some more... Uh huh She goes: scrub, scrub, a-boogie, a-woogie, Oh yeah Just a boogie-woogie washer woman washing her One more time Barn-yard style. clothes! Yeah! Barn-yard Style: Actions: I said a moo chicka moo Way down the road: shade hand over eyes, look into I said a moo chicka moo distance I said a moo chicka watch your step, don't track it in the Where nobody goes: shake finger "no" room. There's a boogie-woogie washer woman washing her Uh huh clothes: do the boogie Oh yeah Scrub, scrub, here: scrub invisible clothing on one One more time Photographer style. knee Scrub, scrub, there: scrub on other knee Photographer Style: Scrub those stains right out of there: scrubbing to the I said a zoom clicka zoom. beat I said a zoom clicka zoom. She goes: scrub, scrub: scrub on one knee, then the I said a zoom clicka Smile Watch the Birdie clicka zoom. other, taking one step forward each time Uh huh A-boogie, a-woogie: do the boogie, taking two steps Oh yeah backward One more time MCDonalds style. Scrub, scrub and a-boogie some more: repeat action of above line McDonalds Style: She goes: scrub, scrub, a-boogie, a-woogie: repeat I said a Big Mac and Fries action I said a Big Mac and Fries Just a boogie-woogie washer woman washing her I said a Big Mac and Fries and don’t forget to Super clothes: boogie, turning around in a circle Size. Uh huh 12. Boom Chicka Boom Oh yeah One more time Thunderstorm style. I said a Boom Chicka Boom I said a Boom Chicka Boom Thunderstorm Style: I said a Boom Chicka Rocka Chicka Rocka Chicka Boom I said a boom crasha boom Uh huh I said a boom crasha boom Oh yeah I said a boom crasha flasha crasha flasha crasha boom One more time Janitor style. Uh huh Oh yeah Janitor Style: One more time Sufer style. I said a Broom Sweep-a Broom 11

Surfer Style: Alright? I said a dude chicka dude Oh Yeah, I said a dude chicka dude One more time, I said a dude chicka wipe out chicka WHOA chicka Really. . . dude Uh huh quiet Oh yeah loud One more time Conservation style. valley girl (add, -like in everywhere) janitor (broom, sweepa broom, brooma sweepa mop-a, Conservation Style: etc.) I said a tree hug a tree underwater (finger against lips) I said a tree hug a tree any other way you want. . . I said save the whales, save the gas, save the water, hug a tree Uh huh 13. Breakfast Oh yeah One more time Beavers style. (Tune = My Bonnie lies over the ocean)

Beavers Style: Your breakfast is calling this morning, I said a Beaver chicka Boom Your bacon is crisp in the pan, I said a Beaver chicka Boom Your pancakes are doing a flip, flop, I said a Beaver collect the wood and build the dam I’m cooking as fast as I can. chick boom Get up! Get up! Uh huh Oh, roll yourself out of the bed, the bed. Oh yeah Get up! Get up! One more time Fire style. Oh, don’t be an old sleepy head.

Fire Style: 14. Cannibal King I said a OUCH chicka OUCH I said a OUCH chicka OUCH Tune: I said a OUCH burnt my finger in the fire Chicka OUCH http://www.boyscouttrail.com/content/song/cannibal_kin Chicka Boom g-1635.asp Uh huh Oh yeah The Cannibal King with the big nose ring One last time. Fell in love with the cute young maid And every night by the pale moonlight I said a Boom Chicka Boom It sounded like this to me... I said a Boom Chicka Boom I said a Boom Chicka Rocka Chicka Rocka Chicka Boom Ah-rump (kiss kiss), Ah-rump (kiss kiss) Uh huh Ah-rump, Ditty-aye-dee-a-a-a Oh yeeeeeaaaahhhhhhhhh!! Ah-rump (kiss kiss), Ah-rump (kiss kiss) Ah-rump, Ditty-aye-dee-a-a-a Version 2 (repeat after me song) As the years went by like one, two, three Soon there was a family I said a BOOM Chica BOOM And every night by the pale moonlight I said a BOOM Chica BOOM It sounded like this to me... I said a BOOMA Chica ROCKA Chica ROCKA Chica BOOM Ah-rump ma-ma, Ah-rump, pa-pa 12

Ah-rump, Ditty-aye-dee-a-a-a and now they're hungry as a bear. Ah-rump ma-ma, Ah-rump, pa-pa The frogs keep hopping on. Ah-rump, Ditty-aye-dee-a-a-a I used to like the bullfrogs, As the years went by like one, two, three like to feel their slimy skin. Soon a bigger family. Liked to put them in my teacher's desk And every night by the pale moonlight and take them home again. It sounded like this to me... Now they're knocking at the front door, I can't let those frogs come in. Ah-rump gran-ma, Ah-rump gran-pa The frogs keep hopping on. Ah-rump, Ditty-aye-dee-a-a-a Ah-rump gran-ma, Ah-rump gran-pa They have hopped into the living room Ah-rump, Ditty-aye-dee-a-a-a and headed down the hall. They have trapped me in the corner As the years went by like one, two, three and my back's against the wall. Soon there was no family And when I open up my mouth And every night by the pale moonlight to give a desperate call. It sounded like this to me... This is all that's heard: Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, croak, croak... Ah-rump (silent pause), Ah-rump (silent pause) Ah-rump, Ditty-aye-dee-a-a-a 16. Cuddly Koalas Ah-rump (silent pause), Ah-rump (silent pause) Ah-rump, Ditty-aye-dee-a-a-a (Tune = Frere Jacques)

Cuddly koalas, cuddly koalas 15. Coming of the Frogs (cradle & swing arms) Possums too, possums too (tune: Battle Hymn of the Republic) (possum eyes - circle with finger & thumb brought up http://www.boyscouttrail.com/content/song/battle_ to eyes) hymn_of_the_republic-457.asp Wallabies and wombats, wallabies and wombats (little bounce/jump/bend knees with hands in front, Mine eyes have seen the horror rather like begging action) of the coming of the frogs. Kangaroos, kangaroos They are sneaking through the swamps, (bigger jump, more exaggerated hands) they are lurking under logs. You can hear their mournful croaking through the early morning fog. 17. Dead Dog Rover The frogs keep hopping on. (Tune = Four Leaf Clover) Chorus http://www.boyscouttrail.com/content/song/song- Ribbit, ribbit, ribbit, croak, croak (Repeat 3x) 494.asp The frogs keep hopping on. I'm looking over my dead dog Rover The frogs have grown in numbers, Who I hit with a power mower and their croaking fills the air. One leg is missing; There's no place to escape to the other is gone 'cause the frogs are everywhere. The third leg is scattered all over the lawn. They've eaten all the flies No need explaining the one leg remaining

13 is spinning on the carport floor. I'm looking over my dead dog Rover, who I She threw them on my bed - now my poor Teddy's overlooked before. dead She threw them in her bed - now dad sleeps in the shed I'm looking over my minced dog Rover, She threw them under the bed - left all the cockroaches who I hit with a power mower dead My dog's not eating, She served them up for lunch - but no one wanted He no longer barks much He hit the propeller and turned into sparks She put them in the fridge - now we all live under a No need explaining; there's no dog remaining bridge He's part of the grass you see. She threw them in the sky - now Superman refuses to I'm looking over my dead dog Rover fly who I sent to eternity! She threw them in the air - now Superman's on medicare 18. Deck the Halls She threw them over the fence - haven't seen the neighbor since Tis the season to be naughty She threw them on the wall - now Spiderman won't Falalalalalalalala crawl Tell your father he is crummy She threw them on the ceiling - now the paint's all Falalalalalalalala peeling Break a window, pop a tire She threw them in a boat - now that boat can't float Falalalalalalalala She threw them at the cat - now the cat's a welcome Light your teachers pants on fire mat Falalalalalalalala She threw them on the clock - now the clock don't tick Deck the halls with gasoline or tock Falalalalalalalala She threw them up towards heaven - brought down a Light a match and watch it gleam 7-4-7 Falalalalalalalala She threw them in the garbage can - killed 3 rats and Watch the school burn down to the garbage man ashes Falalalalalalalala She threw them in the washing machine - now all the Aren't you glad you played with matches? clothes are green Falalalalalalalala! She threw them at a squirrel - made that poor squirrel hurl 19. Don’t Wear No Socks Song She threw them at a rock - that rock got up and walked She threw them at a bus - you should have heard it cuss (Instead of "Your Momma", you could use "Camp She threw them at a flower - now it's praying for an Staff", "Boy Scouts", "Our Gang", ... whatever you April shower want) She threw them in the fire - that made the fire expire She threw them in my Coke – I took a sip and nearly Your Mama don't wear no socks croaked. A ding dong She threw them at the sun – Made the sun dial 911 I saw 'em when she took 'em off She threw them on a telephone wire - Started the A ding dong Chicago fire She threw them in the tree She threw them in a hole - Wouldn't touch 'em with a A ding dong 10 foot pole Now the dogs refuse to pee She thew them in outer space - That's the end of the A ding dong dong dong dong human race A ding dong dong dong dong She threw them at King Kong - That's the end of this A ding dong silly song 14

20. Down by the Bay For if I do My mother will say Tune: "Did you ever see a llama http://www.songsforteaching.com/folk/downbytheba Wearing pajamas?" y.php Down by the bay.

Down by the bay Down by the bay Where the watermelons grow Where the watermelons grow Back to my home Back to my home I dare not go I dare not go For if I do For if I do My mother will say My mother will say "Did you ever see a fly Wearing a tie?" "Did you ever have a time Down by the bay. When you couldn't make a rhyme?" Down by the bay Down by the bay Where the watermelons grow B 21. Do Your Ears Hang Low ack to my home I dare not go Do your ears hang low, do they waggle to and fro? For if I do Can you tie them in a knot, My mother will say can you tie them is a bow? "Did you ever see a bear Can you throw them o'er your shoulder Combing his hair?" like a continental soldier? Down by the bay. Do your ears hang low?

Down by the bay Do your ears stick out, can you waggle them about? Where the watermelons grow Can you flap them up and down Back to my home as you fly around the town? I dare not go Can you shut them up for sure For if I do when you hear an awful bore? My mother will say Do your ears stick out? "Did you ever see a moose Kissing a goose?" Do your ears stand high, do they reach up to the sky? Down by the bay. Do they hang down when they're wet, do they stand up when they're dry? Down by the bay Can you semaphore your neighbor Where the watermelons grow with the minimum of labor? Back to my home Do your ears stand high? I dare not go For if I do 22. Farewell to Nova Scotia My mother will say "Did you ever see a whale Tune: With a polka dot tail?" http://www.contemplator.com/canaus/novascot.html Down by the bay. The sun was setting in the west Down by the bay The birds were singing on every tree Where the watermelons grow All nature seemed inclined for to rest Back to my home But still there was no rest for me. I dare not go 15

Chorus Raspberry, Raspberry (raspberry x3) Farewell to Nova Scotia, you sea-bound coast Papaya, Papaya, p-p-p-papaya Let your mountains dark and dreary be For when I am far away on the briny ocean tossed You bring each group of beavers in one by one, then Will you ever heave a sigh and a wish for me? motion with your hands for louder and softer, then bring each set out one by one. I grieve to leave my native land I grieve to leave my comrades all And my parents whom I held so dear 25. Frankenstein Song And the bonnie, bonnie lassie that I do adore. (Tune: Clementine) Chorus In a castle, on a mountain, The drums they do beat and the wars to alarm Near the dark and murky Rhine. The captain calls, we must obey Dwelt a doctor, the concoctor, So farewell, farewell to Nova Scotia's charms Of the monster, Frankenstein. For it's early in the morning I am far, far away. Chorus Chorus Oh my monster, oh my monster, Oh my monster, Frankenstein. I have three brothers and they are at rest You were built to last forever, Their arms are folded on their breast Dreadful scary Frankenstein. But a poor simple sailor just like me Must be tossed and driven on the dark blue sea. In a graveyard, near the castle, Where the sun refused to shine, Chorus He found noses and some toeses For his monster Frankenstein. 23. Fire’s Burning (Campfire) Chorus

(round) So he took them and he built him, From the pieces he did find. Fire’s Burning, fire’s burning, And with lightning he animated Draw Nearer, Draw nearer The scary monster Frankenstein. In the glowing, in the glowing Chorus Come sing and be merry Scared the townsfolk, scared the Police, Scared the kids did Frankenstein, 24. Fruit Salad Til with torches, they did chase him, To the castle by the Rhine. An activity song. Each set of beavers gets to be one Chorus kind of fruit which has a different cheer and sometimes an action: 26. Ga Goo Apples, peaches, pears and plums coconuts, coconuts (hit head and click tongue three Ga goo went the little green frog one day times) Ga goo went the little green frog Banana NA, NA, na na NA Ga goo went the little green frog one day Grapes, Grapes, do-ah, do-ah And his eyes when ga ga goo. Watermelon, Watermelon (spit out seeds) Now you know frogs go la di da di da 16 la di da di da Oh! The good old hockey game, Is the best game you la di da di da can name; And the best game you can name, Is the Now you know frogs go la di da di da good old Hockey game! They don't go ga ga goo. [spoken] "Third period! Last game in the playoffs, too!"

27. Good King Wences Oh, take me where the hockey players Face-off down the rink; (Tune = Good King Wencelas) And the Stanley Cup is all filled up, For the champs who win the drink. Good King Wences' car backed out Now the final flick of a hockey stick, On the feet of Stephen. And the one gigantic scream: "Watch out, king, I'll get you yet; "The puck is in" - The home team wins Yes, I will get even." The good old hockey game!

Later on that very day Oh! The good old hockey game, Is the best game you Stephen kept his wo-ord: can name; And the best game you can name, Is the He shot Wences with a bang, good old Hockey game! And that's the last I hea-a-rd. 29. Ging Gang Gooli 28. Good Ole Hockey Game Ging gang gooli, gooli, gooli, gooli watcha Tune: http://www.wtv- Ging gang goo, ging gang goo, zone.com/phyrst/audio/nfld/08/hockey.htm Ging gang gooli, gooli, gooli, gooli watcha Ging gang goo, ging gang goo Hello out there! We're on the air, It's Hockey Night tonight; Heyla, heyla sheyla Tension grows, the whistle blows, Heyla sheyla, heyla, ho-o-o And the puck goes down the ice. Heyla, heyla sheyla The goalie jumps, and the players bump, Heyla sheyla, heyla, ho And the fans all go insane; Someone roars, "Bobby scores!" Shalli-wallee, shalli-wallee, shalli-wallee,shalli-wallee At the good old hockey game. Oompah, oompah, oompah oompah Shalli-wallee, shalli-wallee, shalli-wallee,shalli-wallee Oh! The good old hockey game, Is the best game you Oompah, oompah, oompah oompah can name; And the best game you can name, Is the good old Hockey game! 30. Going on a Lion Hunt [spoken] "Second period...." (repeat after me song) Where players dash with skates a-flash, The home team trails behind; Going on a Lion Hunt But they grab the puck and go bursting up, Gonna Catch a big one! And they're down across the line. I’m not scared, They storm the crease like bumble bees, I’ve got my gun! They travel like a burning flame; We see them slide the puck inside, Uh oh, It's a one-one hockey game. Big Tall Grass Can’t go over it, 17

Can’t go under it, Can’t go around it, Granny's in the cellar. Gotta go through it! Oh Lordy can't ya smell her, (swish, swish, swish, swish) Cooking Crabs on that darn old greasy stove. On her elbow, there's some scabs that keep fallin' in Repeat, but find different obstacles: the crabs, 2. Thick, dirty mud And she whistles while the [Sniff] drips down her nose. 3. Big tall trees (climb) - Chorus 4. Deep dark cave 5. Red beady eyes, furry mane, wet nose, sticky pink Granny's in the cellar. tongue. . . it’s a lion! Run! Oh Lordy can't ya smell her, Cooking Fries on that darn old greasy stove. Go through all obstacles, and arrive home. On her belly there's a boil that keeps oozin' in the oil, And she whistles while the [Sniff] drips down her nose. 31. Granny's In the Cellar Song - Chorus

Granny's in the cellar. Granny's in the cellar. Oh Lordy can't ya smell her, Oh Lordy can't ya smell her, Cooking Biscuits on that darn old greasy stove. Cooking Rice on that darn old greasy stove. In her eye there is some matter that keeps drippin' in In her hair there is some lice that keep jumpin' in the the batter rice, And she whistles while the [Sniff] drips down her And she whistles while the [Sniff] drips down her nose. nose. - Chorus

Chorus: Granny's in the cellar. Down her nose, down her nose, Oh Lordy can't ya smell her, And she whistles while the [Sniff] drips down her Cooking Cobbler on that darn old greasy stove. nose. Her glass eye is a wobbler and keeps fallin' in the In her eye there is some matter that keeps drippin' in cobbler, the batter, And she whistles while the [Sniff] drips down her nose. And she whistles while the [Sniff] drips down her – Chorus nose. 32. Grimy Greasy Gopher Guts Granny's in the cellar. Oh Lordy can't ya smell her, http://www.boyscouttrail.com/content/song/greasy_ Cooking Grits on that darn old greasy stove. grimy_gopher_guts-467.asp On her belly, there's some zits that keep poppin' in the grits, Version (1) And she whistles while the [Sniff] drips down her Great green gobs of grimy greasy gopher guts nose. Mutilated monkey meat Little dirty birdy feet Chorus: All wrapped up in percolated porpoise pus Down her nose, down her nose, And I forgot my spoon And she whistles while the [Sniff] drips down her I forgot my spoon! nose. I forgot my spoon! On her belly, there's some zits that keep poppin' in Great green gobs of grimy greasy gopher guts the grits, Mutilated monkey meat And she whistles while the [Sniff] drips down her Little dirty birdy feet nose. All wrapped up in percolated porpoise pus 18

And I forgot my spoon…..but I got a straw… One was alive (put one finger on top of your head) And the other one was dead (put another finger on top Version (2) of your head) Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts Chorus Mutilated monkey meat Hairy pickled piggy feet She had two eyes in the front of her head French fried eyeballs floating in some kerosene One was green and the other was red. And me without a spoon. Chorus

Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts She had two teeth in the front of her mouth Scab sandwich, puss on top One pointed north (put one finger against your mouth, Vulture vomit, camel snot pointing north) Deep dish boogers soaking in a bowl of fat And one the other pointed south (put another finger And me without a spoon. against your mouth, pointing south) Chorus Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts Parrot eyeballs dipped in glue She had two lips, two beautiful lips, Petrified porpoise puss Shaped just like two battleships. Flaming ear wax bobbing in a bowl of barf Chorus And me without a spoon. Her nose was so long that when she sneezed Great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts It got caught in between her knees. Dessicated dinosaur dung Chorus Percollated pelican poop Tortoise turd balls with the little flies inside Her ears stuck out like the sails of a boat And me without a spoon. Her Adam’s apple wandered up and down her throat. Chorus

33. Gotta Booga She had two arms in the middle of her body One knew judo (horizontal karate chop motion) Tune: If you’re happy and you know it And the other knew karate (vertical karate chop motion) Gotta booger on my finger get it off (*clap, clap*) Chorus Gotta booger on my finger get it off (*clap, clap*) Gotta another on my brother Gotta a dozen on my cousin She loved to polish her fingernails Gotta booger on my finger get it off (*clap, clap*) She bought her polish in ten gallon pails. Chorus 34. Hagaleena Magaleena She had two feet size twelve and a half Chorus One took a shower (kick out one foot) Hagaleena Magaleena Upa Staka Waka Taka And the other took a bath (kick out the other foot) Oka Poka Loka was her name. (Clap Clap) Chorus

There was a funny girl, she had a funny name. Her feet were flat as bathroom mats She got it from her pappy just the same, same, same. I forgot to ask how they got like that. Chorus Chorus

She had two hairs in the middle of her head 19

A semi-truck hit Mag-a-leena (slow down during this .. He got everybody here, in his hands ... line) .. He's got the little bitty babies, in his hands ... (back to original tempo) Completely destroyed that .. He's got the wind and the rain, in his hands ... poor machina! Chorus 38. The Hippopotamus Song

35. Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes A bold hippopotamus was standing one day On the banks of the cool Shalimar Head and shoulders, knees and toes, He gazed at the bottom as he peacefully lay Knees and toes, knees and toes, By the light of the evening star Head and shoulders, knees and toes, Eyes, ears, mouth and nose. Away on the hilltop sat combing her hair His fair hippopotami maid The hippopotamus was no ignoramus And sang her this sweet serenade 36. Herman the Worm'n Chorus: Sitting on a fence post, Mud, mud, glorious mud Chewing my bubble gum. (As if smacking your lips. Nothing quite like it for cooling the blood Four times.) So follow me follow, down to the hollow Playing with my yoyo. (Woo-woo) And there let me wallow in glorious mud When along came Herman the Wormin' And he was this big. (Slow the tempo with "this big". The fair hippopotama he aimed to entice Demonstrate how big as if by holding up your hands From her seat on that hilltop above as if you'd just caught a small fish.) As she hadn't got a ma to give her advice And I said, "Herman! What happened?" Came tiptoeing down to her love And he said, "I ate a beaver." Each verse, Herman gets bigger. . . Like thunder the forest re-echoed the sound I ate a Cub Of the song that they sang when they met I ate a Scout His inamorata adjusted her garter I ate a Venturer And lifted her voice in duet I ate a Rover Chorus I ate a Leader Now more hippopotami began to convene For the last verse, Herman is tiny again. . On the banks of that river so wide And I said, "Herman! What happened?" I wonder now what am I to say of the scene And he said, "I burped." That ensued by the Shalimar side

They dived all at once with an ear-splitting sposh 37. He's Got the Whole World Then rose to the surface again A regular army of hippopotami All singing this haunting He's got the whole world, in his hands refrain He's got the whole world, in his hands Chorus He's got the whole world, in his hands He's got the whole world in his hands (Extra verse:) .. He's got the little bitty baby, in his hands ... The amorous hippopotamus whose love song we know .. He's got you and me brother, in his hands ... Is now married and father of ten, .. He's got you and me sister, in his hands ... He murmurs, "God rot 'em!" as he watches them grow, 20

And he longs to be single again! 41. I Know An Old Lady

He'll gambol no more on the banks of the Nile, I know an old lady, Which Naser is flooding next spring, Who swallowed a fly, With hippopotamas in silken pyjamas I don't know why, No more will he teach them to sing... She swallowed a fly I guess she'll die. 39. Hole in the Bottom of the Sea I know an old lady, There's a hole in the bottom of the sea, Who swallowed a spider, There's a hole in the bottom of the sea, That wriggled, and jiggled There's a hole, there's a hole, And tickled inside her, There's a hole in the bottom of the sea. She swallowed the spider to Catch the fly, There's a log in the hole in the bottom of the sea, But I don't know why she There's a log in the hole in the bottom of the sea, Swallowed the fly. There's a hole, there's a hole, I guess she'll die. There's a hole in the bottom of the sea. Bird - now how absurd, to swallow a bird. There's a bump on the log in the hole ... etc. Cat - now fancy that, to swallow a cat. Dog - my what a hog, to swallow a dog. There's a frog on the bump on the log ... etc. Goat - just opened her throat, and in walked a goat. Cow - I don't know how, she swallowed a cow. There's a fly on the frog on the bump ... etc. Horse - 'she died of course'

There's a wing on the fly on the frog ... etc. 42. I met a Bear last verse: Audience repeats each short line after the leader, then There's a flea on the wing on the fly on the frog on everyone sings the whole verse together. the bump on the log in the hole in the bottom of the sea... The other day, There's a hole, there's a hole, I met a bear, There's a hole in the bottom of the sea. Out in the woods, away out there. [Point] The other day, I met a bear. Out in the woods, away out 40. Hokey Pokey there.

You put your left foot in He looked at me, You take your left foot out, I looked at him, You put your left foot in, He sized up me, And you shake it all about. I sized up him. You do the Hokey Pokey and you turn yourself around. He looked at me, I looked at him. He sized up me, I And that's what it's all about. sized up him. Hey! (Continue using various body parts.) He says to me, 'Why don't you run?' 'Cause I can see, you got no gun.' 21

Now don't you fret, and don't you frown, I caught that He says to me, 'Why don't you run?' 'Cause I can see branch on the way back down. you got no gun.' That's all there is, I says to him, there ain't no more, 'That's a good idea.' Unless I meet 'Now legs get going, that bear once more. get me out of here!' That's all there is, there ain't no more, Unless I meet I says to him, 'That's a good idea.' 'Now legs get going, that bear once more. get me out of here! 43. If You're Happy and You Know It 'I began to run, away from there, If you're happy and you know it clap your hands, But right behind If you're happy and you know it clap your hands. me was that bear. If you're happy and you know it and you really want to show it, 'I began to run, away from there, But right behind me If you're happy and you know it clap your hands. was that bear. repeat with: stamp your feet And on the path shout hurray ahead of me, do all three I saw a tree, Oh glory be. 44. If you’re lost and you know it

And on the path ahead of me, I saw a tree, Oh glory If you’re lost and you know it hug a tree be. If you’re lost and you know it hug a tree If you’re lost and you know it, and you have a whistle The lowest branch blow it was ten feet up, If you’re lost and you know it, hug a tree I'd have to jump and trust my luck. If you’re lost and you’re cold put on a bag If you’re lost and you’re cold put on a bag The lowest branch was ten feet up, I'd have to jump If you’re lost and you know it, and you have a whistle and trust my luck. blow it If you’re lost and you’re cold put on a bag And so I jumped into the air, If you’re lost and you’re scared tell a tree (whisper: I’M But I missed that branch SCARED) away up there. If you’re lost and you’re scared tell a tree (whisper: I’M SCARED) And so I jumped into the air, But I missed that branch If you’re lost and you know it, and you have a whistle away up there. blow it If you’re lost and you’re scared tell a tree (whisper: I’M Now don't you fret, SCARED) and don't you frown, I caught that branch If you’re lost in the forest do all three on the way back down. If you’re lost in the forest do all three

If you’re lost in the forest hug a tree, put on a bag, tell a tree (whisper: I’M SCARED) Dinah, won’t you blow, If you’re lost and you know it, and you have a whistle Dinah, won’t you blow, blow it Dinah, won’t you blow your horn? If you’re lost in the forest do all three Dinah, won’t you blow, Dinah, won’t you blow, 45. I've Got a Head Like a Ping Pong Ball Dinah, won’t you blow your horn?

I've got a head like a ping pong ball, Someone’s in the kitchen with Dinah, I've got a head like a ping pong ball, Someone’s in the kitchen, I know; I've got a head like a ping pong ball, Someone’s in the kitchen with Dinah, Ping! Like ping pong ball. Playing on the old banjo. I've got a head like a ping pong ping pong ping pong ping pong ping pong ball, Fee, fie, fiddlie-i-o I've got a head like a ping pong ping pong ping pong Fee, fie, fiddlie-i-o ping pong ping pong ball, Fee, fie, fiddlie-i-o Ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping ping. Ping! Playing on the old banjo.

46. It’s a Small World 48. Jungle Book Rap

It's a world of laughter, a world of tears (To a beat 1,2,3 like Queen’s “We will Rock You”) It's a world of hopes and a world of fears There's so much that we share Leader: I am Akela of the Seeonee That it's time we're aware Group: Seeonee Seeonee It's a small world after all Leader: I’m the Leader of the pack and they follow me. Chorus: Group: Follow me Follow me It's a small world after all It's a small world after all Leader: Bagheera the Panther is sleek and black. It's a small world after all Group: Sleek and black sleek and black It's a small, small world Leader: He’s a silent hunter and friend of the pack. Group: Friend of the pack friend of the pack There is just one moon and one golden sun And a smile means friendship to everyone Leader: Baloo the teacher a big brown bear. Though the mountains divide Group: Big brown bear big brown bear And the oceans are wide Leader: He’s always welcome in a Wolf Cub’s lair. It's a small world after all Group: Wolf Cub’s lair Wolf Cub’s lair

47. I’ve Been Working on the Railroad Leader: Bandar-log, monkeys a silly bunch. Group: A silly bunch a silly bunch I’ve been working on the railroad, Leader: They’ll end up as a python’s lunch. All the livelong day; Group: Python’s lunch python’s lunch I’ve been working on the railroad, Just to pass the time away Leader: Kaa the python don’t be ‘fraid of him. Don’t you hear the whistle blowing, Group: ‘Fraid of him ‘fraid of him Rise up so early in the morn? Leader: He taught Mowgli how to swim. Don’t you hear the captain shouting Group: How to swim how to swim “Dinah, blow your horn?” 23

Leader: Tabaqui the jackal is sneaky and mean. 50. Kum By Yah Group: Sneaky and mean sneaky and mean Leader: He’ll smile in you face while he picks your Kum by yah, my lord, kum by yah bones clean. Kum by yah, my lord, kum by yah Group: Picks your bones clean picks your bones Kum by yah, my lord, kum by yah clean. Oh, lord, kum by yah.

Leader: Raksha, the Demon, Mowgli’s mom Someone’s crying, my lord, kum by yah, Group: Mowgli’s mom Mowgli’s mom Someone’s crying, my lord, kum by yah, Leader: She kept him safe from Ol’ Sheer Khan. Someone’s crying my lord, kum by yah, Group: Ol’ Sheer Khan Ol’ Sheer Khan Oh, lord, kum by yah.

Leader: Sheer Khan the Tiger, a mangy ol’ cat Next verses: Group: A mangy ol’ cat a mangy ol’ cat Someone’s praying, my lord, kum by yah Leader: Mowgli killed him and that was that. Someone’s laughing, my lord, kum by yah Group: That was that that was that Someone’s singing, my lord, kum by yah

49. King of Caractacus 51. Land of the Silver Birch http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wP2ITVsOMIQ Land of the silver birch, home of the beaver Where still the mighty moose wanders at will The ladies of the harem of the court of King Blue lake and rocky shore, I will return once more Caractacus were just passing by, Boom diddy ah da, Boom diddy ah da, Boom Repeat 4x High on a rocky ledge I’ll build my wigwam The noses on the faces of the ladies of the court of Close to the water’s edge silent and still King Caractacus were just passing by, Blue lake and rocky shore, I will return once more Repeat 4x Boom diddy ah da, Boom diddy ah da, Boom

The boys who put the powder on the noses of the My heart grows sick for thee here in the lowlands faces of the ladies of the court of King Caractacus I will return to thee hills of the north were just passing by, Blue lack and rocky shore, I will return once more Repeat 4x Boom diddy ah da, Boom diddy ah da, Boom

The fascinating witches who put the scintillating Land of the silver birch, home of the beaver stitches in the britches of the boys who put the Where still the mighty moose wanders at will powder on the noses of the faces of the ladies of the Blue lake and rocky shore, I will return once more harem of the court of king Caractacus were just Boom diddy ah da, Boom diddy ah da, Boom passing by, Repeat 4x 52. The Littlest Worm

If you want to take a picture of the fascinating witches (repeat after me song) who put the scintillating stitches in the britches of the The Littlest worm boys who put the powder on the noses of the faces of I ever saw the ladies of the harem of the court of King Got stuck inside Caractacus, you’re TOO LATE, they JUST PASSED BY! My soda straw

(all together repeat verse) 24

There was a great big moose. He said to me He used to drink a lot of juice. Don’t take a sip For if you do Wo ahohoh, I’ll surely slip Way oh Way oh Way oh Way oh, Way oh Way oh, I took a sip Way oh Way oh Way oh Way oh. And he went down All through my pipes Well, his name was Fred. He must have drowned He used to drink his juice in bed. Well, his name was Fred. He was my pal He used to drink his juice in bed. He was my friend But now he’s gone He drank his juice with care, And that’s the end But he spilled it on his hair. He drank his juice with care, The moral of But he spilled it on his hair. This story is Don’t take a sip Now he's a sticky moose Of soda fizz He's a moose — full of juice — on the loose!

DRINK MILK!! 55. Mountain Dew Song

Lyrics: 53. I want to Linger My brother Bill runs a still on the hill Where he turns out a gallon or two (or three) Hm-hm, I want to linger, hm-hm, a little longer, hm- And the buzzards in the sky get so drunk they can not hm , a little longer here with you fly Hm-hm, it's such a perfect night, hm-hm it doesn't Just from sniffing that good ol' mountain dew. seem quite right Hm-hm, that this should be my last with you. Chorus: They call it that good ol' mountan dew, Hm-hm, I want to linger, hm-hm, a little longer, hm- And them that refuse it are few. hm , a little longer here with you I'll hush up my mug if you'll fill up my jug Hm-hm, and in September, hm-hm, I will remember, With that good ol' mountain dew. Hm-hm, our Scouting days of friendship true. My aunt Lucille had an automobile, Hm-hm, I want to linger, hm-hm, a little longer, hm- It ran on a gallon or two (or three) hm , a little longer here with you It didn't need no gas and it went awful fast Hm-hm, and as the years go by, hm-hm, I'll think of Running on that good ol' mountain dew. you and sigh - Chorus Hm-hm, this is goodnight but not goodbye. My uncle Mort, he is sawed off and short, He measures 'bout four foot two (or three) 54. Moose Song But he thinks he's a giant when you give him a pint Of that good ol' mountain dew. (Leader/Response for each line.) - Chorus There was a great big moose, He used to drink a lot of juice. Old Auntie June had a brand new perfume, 25

It had such a wonderful 'pew' (pee-ew) During the last war, we couldn't get no more, But to her surprise, when she had it analyzed, We didn't have no sugar for the dew It was nothing but that good ol' mountain dew With a few old potaters and a few ripe tomaters, - Chorus We turned out some stuff, I'm tellin' you. - Chorus My Uncle Art, he ain’t very smart His IQ is just twenty two (or three) Old Deacon Crane took a trip in the rain, But he thinks he’s a wizard, when he fills up his Said his wife had come down with the flu, gizzard But she'll be all right if you give her a pint With that good ol' mountain dew Of that good ol' mountain dew. - Chorus - Chorus

My Uncle Hank bought an old army tank Mr. Franklin Roosevelt, he told me how he felt Way back in ‘forty two (or three). The day the old dry law went through: It wouldn't budge, ‘till he gave it a gludge If your likker's too red, it will swell up your head Of that good ol' mountain dew Better stick to that good ol' mountain dew. - Chorus - Chorus

I know a guy named Pete, his hair ain't so neat, Old auntie Bess had some hair on her chest. Though he fixes it with syrup and blue (what's blue?) I asked her if she put it there with glue. But it stays right in place when he uses just a trace She said, "Heck No! It just started to grow, Of that good ol' mountain dew. When I took up drinking mountain dew." - Chorus - Chorus

The preacher-he walked by, with a big tear in his eye My cousin Jake, he was bit by a snake. Said that his wife had the flu (boo hoo) And the doc thought he wouldn't pull through. And hadn't I ought just to give him a quart But he up and danced a jig when they gave him a swig Of that good ol' mountain dew. Of that good ol' mountain dew. - Chorus - Chorus

My uncle Klaus had a real mean old mouse More verses ... It'd beat up a cat or two ( or three) When they asked how it happened, The scouts yell all day and they like to play He said it was a lappin' Maybe sing a song or two (or three) That good ol' mountain dew The key may be wrong but they'll sing out strong - Chorus For that good ol' Mountain Dew - Chorus There's an old hollow tree, just a little way from me Where you lay down a dollar or two The summer camp staff could sure use a bath If you hush up your mug, then they'll give you a jug Maybe one or two (or three) Of that good ol' mountain dew. They surely will laugh if you give 'em a bath - Chorus In that good ol' Mountain Dew - Chorus You take a little trash and you mix it up with ash, And you throw in the soul of a shoe. The racoons at night sure give us a fright Then you stir it awhile with an old rusty file, They come in by ones or twos (or threes) And they call it that good ol' mountain dew. But we chase them off fast when they come for our - Chorus glass Of that good ol' Mountain Dew

- Chorus Old Mrs. Leary left the lantern in the shed And when the cow kicked it over, The beachfront is great and we hardly can wait She winked her eye and said To swim for an hour or two (or three) It'll be a hot time, in the old town, tonight! The water will fizz when we take a whiz FIRE, FIRE, FIRE! After drinking that Mountain Dew - Chorus Four nights ago, When we were all in bed, Now that we're home we still like the foam Old Mrs. Leary left the lantern in the shed When we drink a can or two (or three) And when the cow kicked it over, We'll be back next year and then we'll cheer She winked her eye and said For our good ol' Mountain Dew It'll be a hot time, in the old town, tonight! - Chorus FIRE, FIRE, FIRE!

Our old buddy Paul really is tall Three nights ago, He stands about six foot two (or three) When we were all in bed, He got that way from drinking each day Old Mrs. Leary left the lantern in the shed A six-pack of Mountain Dew And when the cow kicked it over, - Chorus She winked her eye and said It'll be a hot time, in the old town, tonight! Our SPL Pete has bad stinky feet FIRE, FIRE, FIRE! You can smell 'em for a mile or two (or three) But they smell awful sweet if you dose 'em in DEET Two nights ago, then rinse 'em with Mountain Dew When we were all in bed, - Chorus Old Mrs. Leary left the lantern in the shed And when the cow kicked it over, My uncle Crocker, he was a boxer She winked her eye and said He'd give 'em the old one two (or three) It'll be a hot time, in the old town, tonight! He wouldn't fight, it just wouldn't be right FIRE, FIRE, FIRE! Unless it was for his Mountain Dew - Chorus One night ago, When we were all in bed, We went up the Brule, right before school Old Mrs. Leary left the lantern in the shed To kayak a mile or two (or three) And when the cow kicked it over, We sure did row once we had a go She winked her eye and said At that good ol' Mountain Dew It'll be a hot time, in the old town, tonight! - Chorus FIRE, FIRE, FIRE!

That darn IRS wants my money, God Bless! 57. My Bonnie I'd like to keep a dollar or two (or three) They'll settle for less, if I fill up their glass My Bonnie lies over the ocean With that good old Mountain Dew My Bonnie lies over the sea -Chorus My Bonnie lies over the ocean Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me.

56. Mrs. O'Leary's Cow (Old Mother Leary) Chorus: Bring back, bring back, Five nights ago, Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me, to me. When we were all in bed, Bring back, bring back, 27

Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me. My stomach gave adequate warning, To lean far out over the rail. Other Bonnie verses: Chorus My Bonnie has tuberculosis. My Bonnie has only one lung. The sound of a stomach in motion, My Bonnie can cough up raw oysters, A murmuring noise inside me, and roll them around on her tongue. I looked down and there on the water, Was breakfast and dinner and tea. My Bonnie has tuberculosis. Chorus My Bonnie has only one lung. My Bonnie spits blood in her pocket 58. My Momma Don't Wear No Socks And dries it and chews it for gum. My momma don't wear no socks (a ding dong) My Bonnie leaned over the gas tank, I saw her take them off, (a ding dong) The height of its contents to see; She threw them on the plate, I lighted a match to assist her, Guess what my brother ate! Oh, bring back my Bonnie to me. Chorus: Last night as I lay on my pillow, A Ding-dong, dong, dong, dong Last night as I lay on my bed, A Ding-dong, dong, dong, dong I stuck my feet out of the window, A Ding-dong. This morning my neighbors were dead. Bring back, bring back, …in the sky … superman refused to fly. Oh bring back my neighbors to me, to me. ... in the fire ... those flames grew higher and higher. Bring back, bring back, ... in the boat ... that boat refused to float. Oh bring back my neighbors to me. ... in the trees ... grossed out the squirrels and bees. ... in the lake ... that killed off every snake. My mother’s an apple pie maker. ... in the house ... that shook up every mouse. My father he fiddles for tin. ... in the car ... that car did not go far. My sister scrubs floors for a living. ... into space ... that ended the human race. Oh boy, how the money rolls in. ... over the fence ... haven't seen our neighbours since. Rolls in, rolls in, ... in our tent ... sure wish we had a vent. Oh boy, how the money rolls in, rolls in. ... in the sky ... bats and birds refused to fly. Rolls in, rolls in, ... on the floor ... cockroaches moved in next door. Oh boy, how the money rolls in. ... in my coke ... it made me gag and choke. ... round the bend ... that means THIS IS THE END. My breakfast lies over the ocean. My dinner lies over the sea. 59. My Stomach has Had it! My stomach is in a commotion, Don't mention my supper to me. (My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean) My stomach is in a commotion Chorus I want to lean over the rail Bring back, bring back, I don't want to dirty the ocean Oh bring back my bucket to me, to me. So somebody bring me a pail. Bring back, bring back, Come up, come up, Oh bring back my bucket to me. Come up my diner, come up, come up. Come up, come up, I really felt rotten this morning, Come up my diner, come up. They tell me I really looked pale,

I'm coming, I'm coming They brought back my turkey to me. For my head is bending low. I hear those gentle voice calling Chorus "Hasten Jason, bring the basin, Oops, flop, bring the mop!" My turkey has two juicy drumsticks My turkey has two crispy wings Variation My turkey has ten pounds of stuffing My breakfast lies over the ocean, But only one wishbone, poor thing! My dinner lies over the sea, My stomach is in a commotion, Chorus Don't mention my supper to me. Chorus: My turkey looked great on the platter Bring back, bring back, My turkey looked great on my dish Oh bring back my bucket to me, to me. But after that last turkey sandwich I really felt rotten this morning, Hold onto that wishbone and wish! They tell me I really looked pale, My stomach gave adequate warning, Chorus To lean far out over the rail. The sound of a stomach in motion, 61. Nobody Likes Me A murmuring noise inside me, I looked down and there on the water, Nobody likes me, Was breakfast and dinner and tea. Everybody hates me, Going to the garden to eat worms, yum, yum. Big, fat, juicy ones, 60. My Turkey Long slim slimy worms, Itsy, bitsy, fuzzy wuzzy worms. (Tune = My Bonnie lies over the ocean) Yum, yum.

My turkey went walking one morning Down went the first one. The November weather to see. Down went the second one. A man with a hatchet approached her Third one caught in my throat. (cough, cough) Oh, bring back my turkey to me. Big, fat, juicy ones, Long slim slimy worms, Chorus Itsy, bitsy, fuzzy, wuzzy worms. Gobble, Gobble, Yum, yum. Oh bring back my turkey to me, to me. Gobble, Gobble, Up went the first one. Oh bring back my turkey to me! Up went the second one. Third one caught in my throat. (cough, cough) I went down the sidewalk a shoppin’ Big, fat, juicy ones, The sights in show windows to see. Long slim slimy worms, And everywhere hung great fat gobblers. Itsy, bitsy, fuzzy wuzzy worms. Oh, bring back my turkey to me. Yum, yum.

Chorus

I went out to dinner and ordered The best things they had I could see. They brought it all roasted and sizzling; 29

62. On top of Spaghetti Pickin' up paw-paws; put 'em in a basket. Pickin' up paw-paws; put 'em in a basket. On top of spaghetti all covered with cheese Way down yonder in the paw-paw patch. I lost my poor meatball when somebody sneezed Come along, boys, and let's go find her. It rolled off the table and onto the floor Come along, boys, and let's go find her. And than my poor meatball rolled out of the door Come along, boys, and let's go find her. Way down yonder in the paw-paw patch. It rolled into the garden and under a bush - Chorus And than my poor meatball was nothing but mush She's a queen of old Hawaii. The mush was as tasty as tasty could be She's a queen of old Hawaii. Then early next summer it grew into a tree She's a queen of old Hawaii. Way down yonder in the paw-paw patch. The tree was all covered with beautiful moss - Chorus It grew lovely meatballs with tomato sauce She can teach you how to hula. So next time you eat s'getti all covered with cheese She can teach you how to hula. Hang onto your meatball and don't ever sneeze! She can teach you how to hula. Way down yonder in the paw-paw patch. The naughty (School Teacher version) 64. Pink Pajamas Up on a mountian, Where my teacher stood, She was shot with a rubber band, She didn't look (tune: Battle Hymn of the Republic) good. tune: http://www.boyscouttrail.com/content/song/battle_hy I went to her funeral, I went to her grave. mn_of_the_republic-457.asp Some people threw flowers, I threw a grenade. I wear my pink pajamas in the summer when it's hot. The coffin went Up, Up, Up. The coffin went Down, I wear my flannel nighties in the winter when it's not. Down, Down. And sometime in the springtime and sometimes in the fall. The coffin went SPLAT! SPLAT! SPLAT! Right into the I jump right in between the sheets with nothing on at ground all. Glory, glory, hallelujah; I opened the coffin, She didn't look dead, Glory, glory, what's it to ya. So I took my bazooka, And shot off her head. Balmy breezes blowing through ya. With nothing on at all.

63. Paw Paw Patch 65. Puff the Magic Dragon Where, oh where, oh where is Susie? Where, oh where, oh where is Susie? Chorus Where, oh where, of where is Susie? Puff, the magic dragon live by the sea Way down yonder in the paw-paw patch. And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee, Chorus: Pickin' up paw-paws; put 'em in a basket. Little Jackie Paper loved that rascal Puff And brought him strings and sealing wax 30 and other fancy stuff. My eyes are dim, I cannot see, I have not brought my specs with me! Together they would travel I have not brought my specs with me! on a boat with billowed sail, Jackie kept a lookout Verses: perched on Puff’s gigantic tail, .. peas, peas, with shocking dirty knees Noble kings and princes .. ham, ham dancing with the jam would bow where’er they came, .. bread, bread that looks like it is dead Pirate ships would low’r their flag .. grapes, grapes as hairy as big apes when Puff roared out his name. .. fingers, fingers, caught in automatic wringers .. ants, ants, crawling down your pants A dragon lives forever but not so little boys .. cars, cars, stuck in honey jars Painted wings and giant rings make way for other .. tables, tables, with legs like Betty Grable's toys. .. trees, trees, full of honey bees One gray night it happened, .. rats, rats, as big as alley cats Jackie Paper came no more .. turtles, turtles, wearing rubber girdles And Puff that mighty dragon, .. pigs, pigs, doing the Irish jig he ceased his fearless roar. .. ants, ants wearing rubber pants .. beans, beans wearing denim jeans His head was bent in sorrow--- .. ham, ham, an awful lot like Spam green scales fell like rain, .. grapes, grapes wearing yellow capes Puff no longer went to play .. clocks, clocks wearing woolen socks along the cherry lane .. cakes, cakes made with soap flakes Without his lifelong friend .. bats, bats wearing cowboy hats Puff could not be brave .. steak, steak that keeps us all awake So Puff that mighty dragon, .. lard, lard, they sell it by the yard sadly slipped into his cave. .. bread, bread like great big lumps of lead .. kippers, kippers who go about in slippers 66. Purple Stew .. cake, cake that gives us tummy aches .. beans, beans as as big as submarines Making a purple stew, whip whip, whip whip, .. gravy, gravy enough to sink the navy Making a purple stew, doobie doobie doo, .. pots, pots as big as parking lots Purple tomatoes and purple potatoes and, YOU, in my stew, 68. Ravioli (start with one person in the centre of the circle, when you sing “YOU”, that person points to someone (tune: Allouette) else, who joins them in the circle. When you repeat, Ravioli, I like ravioli; ravioli, it's so good for me. both people in the centre point to someone new – Leader: Do I have it in my hair? end with everyone together in the stew) Yes you have it in your hair. Leader: In my hair? OHHH ... 67. Quartermaster’s Store Ravioli, I like ravioli; ravioli, it's so good for me. Continue with: chin, tie, shirt, skirt (pants), shoes, floor. There were beans, beans, trying on some jeans Repeat In the store, in the store the items mentioned with each verse sung. There were beans, beans, trying on some jeans In the Cornermaster’s store

Chorus: 31

69. The Rooster Song 71. Sam Sam the Lavatory Man

(verse is repeat after me, chorus is together) Sam, Sam, the lavatory man,

I had a chicken Chief inspector of the outhouse clan (stand straight like That wouldn't lay any eggs soldier & salute) I had a chicken That wouldn't lay any eggs He issues the tissues, the paper, and the towels (pass out 'items') Chorus: Until that rooster came in my yard He listens to the sounds of the rumbling bowels (hold And caught that chicken right off her guard hand to ear) We're getting eggs now just like we used to Ever since that rooster came in my yard Down, down, down below the ground (point down on Other verses and their chorus: down)

Bubblegum machine / gum -- we're getting chick-lets Where all the little poopies are swimming around Toaster / toast -- we're getting Eggos (swimming motion) Cow / milk -- we're getting egg nog Teacher / tests -- we're getting egg-sams There sits Sam, the lavatory man, Politician / win elections -- we're getting chicken catch-a-Tory Scooping up the poopies, Dog / pups -- we're getting pooched eggs Scooping up the poopies, Toy / sell toys -- we're getting Lego Scooping up the poopies in his little tin can! Nylon / nylons -- we're getting L'Eggs now Dumptruck / move dirt -- we're getting egg-scavations Hospital / heal people -- we're getting eggs-rays 72. Say Why Health spa / keep me fit -- we're getting eggs-ercise Farmer / grow beans -- we're getting chick peas Say why do we have to say goodbye? X3 Hairdresser / dye hair -- we're getting henn-aed Say why, my friend, say why. Philosopher / ponder -- we're getting eggs-istential Chemist / labs -- we're getting hen-alytical Say when will we ever meet again? X3 Physicist / thermodynamics -- we're getting hen-tropy Say when, my friend, say when. Gardener / grow veggies -- we're getting egg plants Fishwife / nag -- we're getting hen pecked Say where, and I’ll meet you right there. X3 Company / trade goods -- we're getting eggs-ports Say where, my friend, say where. Spice rack / herbs -- we're getting chick-ory Song that went on way too long -- we're getting egg- Say why do we have to say goodbye? sasparated Say when will we ever meet again? Say where and I’ll meet you right there, 70. Row, Row, Row Your Boat Say why, say when, say where.

Consider doing this as a round, dropping or replacing 73. Shaboom Shaboom the last letter, or in a circle formation tapping the knees. The flicker of the campfire, the wind in the pines Row, row, row your boat, The stars up in the heavens, the moon that shines Gently down the stream, A place where people gather, find friends of all kinds Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, A place where all ones’ troubles are always left behind Life is but a dream. 32

Shaboom Shaboom, Sha la la la la la la la la la la x2 My old lady died in a bathtub So give me the light of the campfire, so warm and so She died from a terrible fit bright In order to fulfill her wishes And give me some friends to sing with, I’ll be here all She was buried in six feet of ... night Shaving cream, be nice and clean Love is for those who have found it, I’ve found mine Shave every day and you'll always look keen right here Just you and me and the campfire, and the songs we When I was in France with the army love to hear One day I looked inside my kit I thought i would find me a sandwich Shaboom Shaboom, Sha la la la la la la la la la la x2 But the darn thing was loaded with ... Shaving cream, be nice and clean 74. Shake Another Hand Shave every day and you'll always look keen

Shake another hand, shake a hand next to ya, And now folks my story is ended Shake another hand and sing along! I think it is time I should quit Shake another hand, shake a hand next to ya, And if anyone of you feel offended Shake another hand, and sing.... and sing this song! Push your head in a bucket of ... Shaving cream, be nice and clean Chorus: Shave every day and you'll always look keen Ah la la la la la le lu ya, Ah la la la la le lu ya! Ah la la la la la le lu ya, Ah la la la la le, alleluia! 76. Singing in the Rain

Other Verses: Touch another toe, pat another back, I'm singing in the rain, touch another nose, hug another friend... Just singing in the rain, What a glorious feeling, 75. Shaving Cream Song I'm happy again. Thumbs together. I have a sad story to tell you aratat aratat aratataa It may hurt your feelings a bit aratat aratat aratataa Last night as I walked into my bathroom Repeat verse. I stepped in a big pile of ... After each verse add another body part: Shaving cream, be nice and clean Elbows together Shave every day and you'll always look keen Knees together Toes together I think I'll break off with my girlfriend Bum out Her antics are queer, I'll admit Chin up Each time I say, "Darling, I love you" Eyes crossed She tells me that I'm full of ... Tongue out Shaving cream, be nice and clean Shave every day and you'll always look keen 77. The Slaves of Job

Our baby fell out of the window This is a singing game and a real challenge. Each You'd think that her head would be split participant has and object. This can be a pop can, shoe, But good luck was with her that morning block of wood, small yogurt dish, etc. Items are passed She fell in a barrel of ... to the right in time with the music. The direction may Shaving cream, be nice and clean be reversed at the end of each round. Shave every day and you'll always look keen 33

The (pass the object on "slaves" and continue to pass Now Jane has a pain, the object) slaves of Job, Now Tarzan has a tan. Are playing pass and hold. Take it, hold it (hold on "hold it"), pass it along. Tiff, (continue to pass the object) Was going out wih Biff, And while they were playing, Tiff took a whif of Biff, They sang this simple song, Now Tiff doesn't like Biff, (Now hold on to the item and move it back and forth.) Now cheeta is Velveta, Zigga zagga, zigga zagga, zigga zagga zong (pass the Now Jane has a pain, item on "zong") . Now Tarzan has a tan.

78. Sleepy Scouter Shamu, Was swimming in the ocean blue, (tune: What Do You Do With A Drunken Sailor) Crashed into a red canoe, Now Shamu's gonna sue, What shall we do with a sleepy scouter, Now Tiff doesn't like Biff, What shall we do with a sleepy scouter, Now cheeta is Velveta, What shall we do with a sleepy scouter, Now Jane has a pain, Early in the morning Now Tarzan has a tan. Chorus: Hoo-ray and up he rises, Hoo-ray and up he rises, Hoo-ray and up he rises, 80. The Grand Old Duke of York Early in the morning. Oh, the grand old Duke of York, Sock him with a pillow full of feathers ... He had ten thousand men. Yell in his tent when it's time for breakfast ... He marched them up the hill, Throw a glass of cold water on him ... And he marched them down again. And when they were up, they were up; And when they were down, they were down; 79. Tarzan And when they were only half way up, They were neither up nor down. This is a repeat song Do this with your Beavers, marching on the spot. Repeat the verse, each time getting faster than the Tarzan, previous one. Was swinging from a rubber band, Crashed into a frying pan, 81. The Bear Went Over the Mountain Now Tarzan Has a tan. The bear went over the mountain, Jane, The bear went over the mountain, Was flying in an areoplane, The bear went over the mountain, Crashed into a freeway lane, To see what he could see. Now Jane has a pain, And all that he could see, Now Tarzan has a tan. And all that he could see, Was the other side of the mountain, Cheeta, Was the other side of the mountain, Was dancing to the beata, Was all that he could see. Crashed into the streeta, Now Cheeta is Velveta, 34

82. The More We Share Together That’s why it’s called A rickabamboo. The more we share together, together, together. The more we share together, the happier we'll be. 84. The Second Story Window 'Cause your friends are my friends, And my friends are your friends. Chorus The more we share to together, the happier we'll be. The window, the window, The second story window, 83. The Princess Pat If you don’t know a nursery rhyme, We’ll throw you out the window, (repeat after me song) Mary had a little lamb, it’s fleece was white as snow, The Princess pat And everywhere that Mary went, she. . Lived in a tree Threw it out the window! She sailed across The 7 seas (repeat with different nursery rhymes – you can play in teams, and whoever can think of more rhymes wins. .) She sailed across The channel too, And took with her 85. The Twelve Days of Camp A rickabamboo On the first day of summer camp A rickabamboo? My mother sent to me: Now what is that? A box of oatmeal cookies. It’s something made For the Princess Pat On the second day of summer camp My mother sent to me: It’s red and gold Two T-shirts, And purple too, And a box of oatmeal cookies. That’s why it’s called A rickabamboo On the third day of summer camp My mother sent to me: Now captain Dan, Three pairs of socks, And his loyal crew Two T-shirts, He sailed across And a box of oatmeal cookies. The channel too, Four woolen caps, But his ship sank, Five underpants, And yours will too, Six postage stamps, Unless you take, Seven nose warmers, A rickabamboo. Eight Batman comics, Nine bars of soap, A rickabamboo? Ten Band-aids, Now what is that? Eleven shoestrings, It’s something made Twelve bottles of insect repellent. For the Princess Pat

It’s red and gold, And purple too, 35

86. The Wolves Went Hunting Hush, hush hush, hush Hush, hush hush, hush (tune: The Ants Go Marching) The wolves went hunting ten by ten The wolves went hunting two by two, Crouch low, crouch low, Crouch low, crouch low, The wolves went hunting ten by ten The wolves went hunting two by two, Crouch low, crouch low, Crouch low, crouch low, The wolves went hunting ten by ten The wolves went hunting two by two, Avoiding the village and fields of men The small ones came with old Baloo, And they all went padding on, And they all went padding on, With an eye, for game With an eye, for game Hush, hush hush, hush Hush, hush hush, hush Hush, hush hush, hush Hush, hush hush, hush

The wolves went hunting four by four Crouch low, crouch low, 87. This Old Man The wolves went hunting four by four Crouch low, crouch low, This old man, he plays one, The wolves went hunting four by four He plays knickknack on my thumb. They drank beside Waigunga’s shore With a knickknack, paddy, give a dog a bone. This old man goes rolling home. And they all went padding on, Two-on my shoe. (Tap shoe) With an eye, for game Three-on my knee. (Tap on knee) Hush, hush hush, hush Four-on the floor. (Touch the floor) Hush, hush hush, hush Five-on my hive. (Move hands as if brushing bees away from ears) The wolves went hunting six by six Six-on my sticks. (Tap knuckles of other hand) Crouch low, crouch low, Seven-up to Devon. (Shake fist) The wolves went hunting six by six Eight-on my pate. (Tap top of head) Crouch low, crouch low, Nine-on my spine. (Touch backbone) The wolves went hunting six by six Ten-now and then. (Raise hands shoulder high, open The Banderlog and the pack don’t mix and close fists in rhythm)

And they all went padding on, 88. There Ain't No Flies on Us With an eye, for game Hush, hush hush, hush There ain't no flies on us, Hush, hush hush, hush There ain't no flies on us, There may be flies on some of you guys, The wolves went hunting eight by eight, But there ain't no flies on us. Crouch low, crouch low, (Next group starts again even louder "Oh, yeah....") The wolves went hunting eight by eight, Crouch low, crouch low, 89. There Was an Old Lady The wolves went hunting eight by eight, The moon was high and they were late, There was an old lady who swallowed a fly. I don't know why she swallowed a fly. And they all went padding on, I guess she'll die. With an eye, for game 36

Liza: In a bucket dear Henry ... There was an old lady who swallowed a spider. Henry: There's a hole in my bucket, dear Liza ... That wiggled and jiggled and tickled insider her. She swallowed the spider to catch the fly. I don't know why she swallowed a fly. 91. This Land is your land I guess she'll die. Tune: http://kids.niehs.nih.gov/lyrics/thisland.htm There was an old lady who swallowed a bird. How absurd! To swallow a bird! This land is your land, She swallowed the bird to catch the spider This land is my land, That wiggled and jiggled and tickled insider her. From Bonavista She swallowed the spider to catch the fly. To Vancouver Island, I don't know why she swallowed a fly. From the Arctic Circle, I guess she'll die. To the Great Lake waters, This land was made for you and me. Continue adding on verses: Cat . . . Imagine that! She swallowed a cat. roamed and I rambled Dog . . . What a hog! She swallowed a dog. And I followed my footsteps Goat . . . She opened her throat and in walked a goat. To the fir-clad forests Cow . . . I don't know how she swallowed that cow. Of our mighty mountains There was an old lady, she swallowed a horse. She And all around me DIED of course! A voice was calling, This land was made for you and me.

90. There’s a Hole in my Bucket I followed your low hills And I followed your cliff rims, Liza: Henry! Fetch me some water! Your marble canyons And sunny bright waters. Henry: There's a hole in my bucket dear Liza, dear Liza As the fog was lifting, There's a hole in my bucket dear Liza, a hole. A voice was saying This land was made for you and me. Liza: Well, fix it dear Henry, dear Henry, dear Henry, Well, fix it dear Henry, dear Henry, fix it. When the sun comes shining And I am strolling, Henry: With what shall I fix it ... And the wheat fields waving Liza: With a straw dear Henry ... And dust clouds rolling, Henry: The straw is too long ... As the fog was lifting Liza: Well, cut it dear Henry ... A voice was calling, Henry: With what shall I cut it ... This land was made for you and me. Liza: With an axe dear Henry ... Henry: The axe is too dull dear Liza ... 92. Three Black Buzzards Liza: Well, sharpen it dear Henry ... Henry: With what shall I sharpen it ... (tune: Three Blind Mice — sorta) Liza: With a stone dear Henry ... Three black buzzards. Henry: The stone is too dry dear Liza ... Three black buzzards. Liza: Well, wet it dear Henry ... Three black buzzards Henry: With what shall I wet it ...... sitting ... on a ... dead tree. Liza: With water dear Henry ... But one flew away Henry: In what shall I fetch it ... AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH 37

Tie me kangaroo down. Two black buzzards. Two black buzzards. Watch me wallabies feed, Reed, Two black buzzards Watch me wallabies feed. ... sitting ... on a ... dead tree. They're a dangerous breed, Reed But one flew away So, watch me wallabies feed. AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH (continue until you have no black buzzards) Let me wombats go loose, Bruce, But one came back! Let me wombats go loose. REJOICE !!! They're of no further use, Bruce. So let me wombats go lose. One black buzzard. One black buzzard. Keep me cockatoo cool, Lou, One black buzzard Keep me cockatoo cool. ... sitting ... on a ... dead tree. Don't go actin' the fool, Lou, But one came back! Just keep me cockatoo cool. REJOICE !!! Take me koala back, Jack Two black buzzards. Take me koala back. Two black buzzards. He lives somewhere out on the track, Jack Two black buzzards So, take me koala back. ... sitting ... on a ... dead tree. (Continue until back up to three black buzzards) Mind me platypus duck, Bill Your arms are this way: left hand is cupping right Mind me platypus duck. elbow. Right hand is up in the air showing the number Don't let him go running amuck, Bill of black buzzards. When you say "dead tree" you bring Just, mind me platypus duck. your right hand down onto your left arm and right back up again quickly.The pauses between the words Play your digeridoo, Blue "sitting on a dead tree" should vary ... of course the Play your digeridoo. Beavers/adults will laugh because they are trying to Keep playing 'til I shoot through, Blue do it at the same time as you!! Play your digeridoo.

93. Tie Me Kangaroo Down Sport Tan me hide when I'm dead, Fred Tan me hide when I'm dead. This is much more fun in hammed up Australian So, we tanned his hide, when he died, Clyde accents. And that's it hangin' on the shed. The story is of an old Australian stockman that is dieing and gives instructions to his mates. 94. Tom the Toad Lyrics: I'm not gonna pull through, Blue; (Tune = Oh Christmas tree) I'm not gonna pull through. I'm not gonna pull through, Blue, Oh, Tom the Toad, oh, Tom the Toad, So this you gotta do ... Why are you lying on the road? Oh, Tom the Toad, oh, Tom the Toad, Chorus: Why are you lying on the road? Tie me kangaroo down, sport You did not see the truck ahead Tie me kangaroo down. Now you've got the tracks on your head. Tie me kangaroo down, sport 38

Oh, Tom the Toad, oh, Tom the Toad, I like the rest but the part I like best goes, Why are you lying on the road? Doodlee, doodlee, do, woo!

Oh, Sue the Skunk, oh, Sue the Skunk Why do you make my tires go thunk? 96. Waltzing Matilda Oh, Sue the Skunk, oh, Sue the Skunk Why do you make my tires go thunk? Once a jolly swagman camped by a billabong, You did not look from east to west Under the shade of a coolibah tree, Now on the road there's such a mess. And he sang as he watched and waited till his billy Oh, Sue the Skunk, oh, Sue the Skunk boiled Why do you make my tires go thunk? You'll come a waltzing Matilda with me.

Oh Sam the Snake, oh, Sam the Snake Chorus: Why do you lie out there and bake? Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda, Oh Sam the Snake, oh, Sam the Snake You'll come a waltzing Matilda with me, Why do you lie out there and bake? And he sang as he watched and waited 'til his billy You did not see the truck go by boiled, Now you look like a butterfly. You'll come a waltzing Matilda with me. Oh Sam the Snake, oh, Sam the Snake Why do you lie out there and bake? Down came a jumbuck to drink at that billabong, Up jumped the swagman and grabbed him with glee, Oh Possum Pete, oh, Possum Pete And he sang as he shoved that jumbuck in his tuckerbag There's nothing left but hair and feet. You'll come a waltzing Matilda with me. Oh Possum Pete, oh, Possum Pete There's nothing left but hair and feet. Chorus: You thought you'd beat that bus across Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda, Now you look like a pile of moss. You'll come a waltzing Matilda with me, Oh Possum Pete, oh, Possum Pete And he sang as he shoved that jumbuck in his tuckerbag, There's nothing left but hair and feet. You'll come a waltzing Matilda with me. Oh, Froggie Fred, oh, Froggie Fred Why do you lie there stone-cold dead? Up rode the squatter mounted on his thoroughbred, Oh, Froggie Fred, oh, Froggie Fred Down came the troopers - one, two, three, Why do you lie there stone-cold dead? Whose that jolly jumbuck you've got in your tuckerbag? You didn't look as you jumped out, You'll come a waltzing Matilda with me. A ten-ton truck ran up your snout! Oh, Froggie Fred, oh, Froggie Fred Chorus: Why do you lie there stone-cold dead? Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda, You'll come a waltzing Matilda with me, Whose that jolly jumbuck you've got in your tuckerbag? 95. Waldieotcha You'll come a waltzing Matilda with me.

Come on and waldieotcha, waldieotcha, Up jumped the swagman, and sprang into the Doddleedo, doodleedo, billabong, Waldieotcha, waldieotcha, You'll never catch me alive said he, Doddleedo, doodleedo, And his ghost may be heard as you pass by that Simplest song, there's nothing to it, billabong All you have to do is dooleedo it, You'll come a waltzing Matilda with me.

Chorus: Cindy, Cindy, Waltzing Matilda, Waltzing Matilda, Yogi has a girlfriend too, You'll come a waltzing Matilda with me, Cindy, Cindy Sue, And his ghost may be heard as you pass by that Cindy, Cindy Sue, Cindy, Cindy Sue, billabong, You'll come a waltzing Matilda with me. Yogi has a girlfriend too, Cindy, Cindy Sue, 97. We're at Camp They all have an enemy, (tune: A Ram Sam Sam, Pizza Hut Song) Ranger, Ranger, We're at camp, camp camp, we're at camp, camp, They all have an enemy, camp Ranger, Ranger Smith, Yippee, yippee, yippee, we're at camp, camp, camp Ranger, Ranger Smith, Ranger, Ranger Smith, We're at camp, camp camp, we're at camp, camp, They all have an enemy, camp Ranger, Ranger Smith, Yippee, yippee, yippee, we're at camp, camp, camp. High five eh, high five eh They all live in Jellystone, Yippee, yippee, yippee, we're at camp, camp, camp Jelly, Jelly, High five eh, high five eh They all live in Jellystone, Yippee, yippee, yippee, we're at camp, camp, camp Jelly, Jellystone, Jelly, Jellystone, Jelly, Jellystone, They all live in Jellystone, 98. Worm Song Jelly, Jellystone,

Worms, worms, you gotta eat worms, Three worms a day keeps the nerds away. Oh, worms, worms, each more worms. Ym, yum, mmm, mmm, gulp more worms.

99. Yogi Bear

I know someone you don't know, Yogi, Yogi, I know someone you don't know, Yogi, Yogi Bear, Yogi, Yogi Bear, Yogi, Yogi Bear, I know someone you don't know, Yogi, Yogi Bear,

Yogi has a little friend, Boo-boo, Boo-boo, Yogi has a little friend, Boo-boo, Boo-boo Bear, Boo-boo, Boo-boo Bear, Boo-boo, Boo-boo Bear,

Yogi has a little friend, Boo-boo, Boo-boo Bear, Yogi has a girlfriend too, 40

CAMPFIRE STORIES At approximately the same time, however, the barrel of bricks hit the ground-and the bottom broke out of the 1. Bricklayers Accident Report Story barrel. Now devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel weighed approximately 50 pounds. I refer you (This is a follow-up letter to a bricklayer's accident again to my weight. As you might imagine, I began a report requesting worker's compensation.) rapid descent down the side of the building. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel coming up. Dear Sir, This accounts for the two fractured ankles, broken tooth and severe lacerations of my legs and lower I am writing in response to your request for additional body. information in Block #3 of the accident reporting form. I put 'Poor Planning' as the cause of my Here my luck began to change slightly. The encounter accident. You asked for a fuller explanation and I trust with the barrel seemed to slow me enough to lessen the following details will be sufficient. my injuries when I fell into the pile of bricks and fortunately only three vertebrae were cracked. I am I am a bricklayer by trade. On the day of the accident, sorry to report, however, as I lay there on the pile of I was working alone on the roof of a new six-story bricks, in pain, unable to move and watching the empty building. When I completed my work, I found I had barrel six stories above me, I again lost my composure some bricks left over which, when weighed later, and presence of mind and let go of the rope. were found to weigh 240 pounds. Rather than carry the bricks down by hand, I decided to lower them in a The empty 50 pound barrel, weighing more than the barrel by using a pulley which was attached to the rope I had let go, fell rapidly to earth, resulting in the side of the building at the sixth floor. two broken forearms and wrists when I raised by arms to protect myself. Securing the rope at ground level, I went up to the roof, swung the barrel out and loaded the bricks into I hope this information satisfactorily fulfills your it. Then I went down and untied the rope, holding it request for further information. tightly to insure a slow descent of the 240 pounds of bricks. You will note on the accident reporting form that my weight is 135 pounds. Due to my surprise at 2. 'Twas the night before Christmas, being jerked off the ground so suddenly, I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. 'Twas the night before Christmas, Needless to say, I proceeded at a rapid rate up the And down at the pond, side of the building. All the Beavers were singing And carrying on. In the vicinity of the third floor, I met the barrel which was now proceeding downward at an equally The stockings were hung impressive speed. This explains the fractured skull, On the branches with care, minor abrasions and the broken collarbone, as listed In hopes that St. Nicholas in Section 3, accident reporting form. soon would be there.

Slowed only slightly, I continued my rapid ascent, not Beavers and Jones' stopping until the fingers of my right hand were two were all fast asleep, knuckles deep into the pulley which I mentioned in No one was moving, Paragraph 2 of this correspondence. Fortunately by Not one little peep. this time I had regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope, in spite of the Beavers in their lodges excruciating pain I was now beginning to experience. and Jones' in their house, 41

You couldn't even hear In the woods on the ground The tiniest mouse. To fill all the stockings And not make a sound. When out in the woods There arose such a clatter, A bundle of toys Keeo got up He had flung on his back, To see what was the matter. He looked like a peddler As he opened his sack. Out of the lodge He swam in a flash His elves checked the beavers Right to the surface To see if they were asleep With hardly a splash. And then checked the Jones' So they wouldn't cheat. The moon was shining On new fallen snow, Santa saw Keeo It looked just like midday And gave him a wink, With a soft glow. So Keeo wasn't exactly Sure what to think. When what to Keeo's surprise Should suddenly appear They finished their work But a red sleigh And sprang back to their sleigh And eight reindeer. And soon they were once Again on their way. And there was a driver So lively and quick. Keeo returned to Keeo knew in a moment, The lodge to sleep It must be St. Nick. And wait for the Beavers To wake up for their treats. With two little elves Also in sight, But he heard Santa say Santa must have As he drove out of sight, Lots of work tonight. Merry Christmas to all And to all a good night. Now Dasher and Dancer, And Prancer and Vixen, On Comet, on cupid 3. Purple Gorilla Story On Donner and Blitzen. When I was younger, I had an old pick-up that didn't Through the treetops, run very well. I was constantly needing to repair it, but I Watch the boughs, couldn't afford anything better. One evening, I was Dash Away through the night driving home from a camping trip out in the mountains Hurry right now. and it started sputtering which was a good sign it would soon stop running. Luckily, there was a farm up ahead Santa and friends came so I pulled in and stopped. I knocked on the door and That night on the fly, asked the farmer if I could use his phone to call for Came to the Jones' and Beavers help. Unfortunately, he didn't have a phone way out From way up high. there. So, I asked him if I could spend the night in his barn and maybe use his tools to fix my He landed his sleigh truck in the morning. Now, you know how farmers are - 42 always willing to help folks out and all - so he said that in place - clunk. We climbed the stairs - squeek, squeek, would be just fine. He even invited me to have dinner squeek, squeek and then dropped the before turning in for the night. trapdoor closed - ker-thump! Then, he spread straw back over the trapdoor to hide it. We had a nice dinner of beef, potatoes, and beans and then he showed me to the barn so I could lay out Well, I was tired so I laid out my sleeping bag and 'hit my sleeping bag on the straw. It was a real nice barn the hay' (ha-ha) and the farmer went back to his house. and I was sure I'd get a good night's sleep. But, just as But, I just couldn't stop thinking about that purple he was leaving, he said there was one thing he gorilla. What a magnificent creature! I wonder why the figured I should know about. farmer didn't want me to touch it? Hmmmm, it was asleep so what harm would there be? So, he tool me over to a pile of straw and pushed it Finally, my curiousity got the best of me and I couldn't out of the way, revealing a trap door in the floor. He fight it any longer. I jumped up and went over and grabbed the iron ring on the door, and pulled it up - brushed the straw from the trapdoor. I grabbed the creeeeeeeeeeek. There I saw stairs heading down into iron ring on the door, and pulled it up - the dark and I followed the farmer down the stairs creeeeeeeeeeek. I went down the stairs - squeek, - squeek, squeek, squeek, squeek. At the bottom of squeek, squeek, squeek. I pushed the bolt on the oak the stairs there was a large oak door with an iron bolt. door open - clunk - and pulled the door open - The farmer pushed the bolt across - clunk - and pulled creeeeeeeeeek - and walked through. I raised the the door open - creeeeeeeeeek – and walked crossbar on the steel door - groooooooan - and through. struggled to pull the door open - uuumph, grunt - and walked on. I came to the 12-inch thick bullet-proof Down a narrow, dark tunnel we encountered a steel glass door and opened the combination lock - door with a solid crossbar holding it closed. The 12-23-7 - click, click, click and then swung the door farmer lifted the crossbar – groooooooan - and open - swooooosh. I walked up to the huge cage made struggled to pull the door open - uuumph, grunt - and of 3-inch round titanium bars and gazed at the we walked on. A few yards further on was a clear purple gorilla that was still fast asleep. I reached out my door made of bullet-proof glass 12 inches thick. It hand. I softly touched his fur. had a combination lock and I watched as the farmer opened it - 12-23-7 - click, click, click and then swung And, he immediately jumped up and let out a blood- the door open - swooooosh. Past this door was a huge curdling roar, turning and staring a me with huge, cage made of 3-inch round titanium bars. But, that blood-red eyes! Needless to say, I tore out of there as wasn't what caught my eye. What I saw was the huge fast as I could! When I got to the glass door, I could monster inside the cage. It was gigantic! hear the gorilla tearing at the bars of the cage. I turned around in time to see him ripping and bending the bars It was covered with purple fur! And, it was asleep. and forcing his way through. I closed the glass door - The farmer said, 'This is what I needed to show you. swooosh - and spun the lock - click, click, click - and ran This is my purple gorilla and you've got to promise on. Just as I was closing the steel door - uumph, grunt - me, I mean really promise me, that you will NOT I heard the gorilla hit the glass door touch him!' Well, I thought that was about the most and it shattered into millions of shards of glass. I ridiculous thing I'd ever heard. Of course, I'm lowered the crossbar - groooan – and ran on. I not going to touch a gigantic purple gorilla! And, so I slammed the oak door closed - creeeeeek - just as the promised him. And, I thanked him for showing my his steel door exploded off its hinges. I slid the bolt in place secret. Then, we made our way back to the surface. - clunk - and scurried up the stairs - squeek, squeek, He closed the glass door - swooosh – and spun the squeek, squeek. Just as I was dropping the trapdoor - lock - click, click, click. He closed the steel door - ker-thump - the oak door disintegrated into slivers no uumph, grunt - and lowered the crossbar - groooan. bigger than a toothpick. He closed the oak door - creeeeeek - and slid the bolt I didn't bother spreading straw over the trap door - instead I ran to my truck hoping to escape. As I opened

43 my truck's door, straw and wood flew out the door of 'Well, I don't know,' said the Petty Officer. 'We have a the barn as the trapdoor was thrown from its hinges full ship's complement, but I'll certainly put in a word and the gorilla leapt out into the barnyard. He on his behalf to my superior. What does he do?' saw me as I jumped in the truck and tried to get it started. 'I'm a Gloop Maker,' said the little man eagerly.

I turned the key and could see the gorilla running Not wishing to appear ignorant in front of his across the yard toward me. The truck didn't start. I subordinate, the Petty Officer didn't want to ask what tried again, and this time the engine turned over and exactly a Gloop Maker was, so he went to see the Chief came to life. Just as I was putting the truck in gear, Petty Officer. the purple gorilla reached the door, grabbed the handle and ripped the door completely off the truck. I 'This man saved the life of one of my seamen,' he told stomped on the gas, the engine raced, but nothing the Chief. 'Do you think we could find him a job happened - the gorilla had lifted the truck off the aboard? He's a Gloop Maker.' ground and I was helpless. Not wishing to appear ignorant in front of his As I sat there helplessly, that enormous purple gorilla subordinate, the Chief Petty Officer asked the Warrant reached into the cab, stretched out his giant hairy Officer, who asked the Sub-Lieutenant and so on, all hand towards me, grabbed my arm, and said, 'Tag, the way through the chain of command until the you're it!' request reached the Captain. After congratulating the little man, the Captain, not wanting to appear ignorant, named him ship's Gloop Maker and ordered the Supply 4. Gloop Maker Story Officer to provide whatever materials were necessary for work to commence.

There once was a sailor returning to his ship. Just as The little man asked for a strong block and tackle fitted he approached the edge of the dock, he slipped and up on the afterdeck, a small stool, a hammer and chisel, fell into the water between ship and dockside. As he a portable furnace, a big lump of iron, a few pounds of hit the water, the ship began to swing toward the copper and several more of silver. harbor wall, and he would have been crushed to death had not a little man, with great presence of As the ship sailed, the little man set his stool alongside mind, thrown a rope and hauled him to safety. the chunk of iron, lit the furnace and began to melt down the copper and silver. Then, with much 'Whew, thanks!' said the sailor. 'You saved my life. hammering and chiseling, he began to add blobs of Tell me, is there anything I can do for you in return?' copper and curlicues of silver to the sides of the lump of iron. 'Well actually,' said the man, 'there is something. I'd dearly like to work aboard ship and, in fact, I was just Each day crewmembers stopped and stared at the on my way to look for a job when I saw you in the wondrously strange thing taking shape at the ship's water. If you could put in a word for me. I'd be greatly stern. But not wishing to appear ignorant, nobody obliged.' asked the Gloop Maker what he actually was making.

'Done!' said the sailor. He took the little man on board 'Coming along nicely,' said the captain as he made his and tracked down the Petty Officer. 'This man saved daily rounds. 'Any idea precisely when it will be :ah: my life just now, and he really would very much like ready?' to have a job on the ship.' 'Oh yes,' said the man. 'On July 15 at 14:00hours. That's when it'll be ready, and I'd like the crew assembled on deck at that hour, if you please, sir.'

must be aided by a Dark Storage Unit. When the Dark And so, the great day came, the men assembled and Storage Unit is full, it must be either emptied or the Gloop Maker put down his hammer and chisel. replaced before the portable Dark Sucker can operate Proudly he stood back and indicated that the block again. and tackle should be lowered onto his masterpiece, whose copper and silver curlicues gleamed in the sun. Dark has mass. When dark goes into a Dark Sucker, Carefully he directed it to be lifted from the deck and friction from the mass generates heat. Thus, it is not swung round until it hung over the sea at the ship's wise to touch an operating Dark Sucker. Candles stern. present a special problem as the mass must travel into a solid wick instead of through clear glass. This 'Ready, steady, go!' he cried, and he cut it free. And, generates a great amount of heat and therefore it's not as it fell into the deep blue waters of the Atlantic, it wise to touch an operating candle. went ... 'GLOOP!' Also, dark is heavier than light. If you were to swim just below the surface of the lake, you would see a lot of light. If you were to slowly swim deeper and deeper, 5. Dark Suckers Story you would notice it getting darker and darker. When you get really deep, you would be in total darkness. For years, it has been believed that electric bulbs emit This is because the heavier dark sinks to the bottom of light, but recent information has proved otherwise. the lake and the lighter light floats at the top. That is Electric bulbs don't emit light; they suck dark. Thus, why it is called light. we call these bulbs Dark Suckers. Finally, we must prove that dark is faster than light. If The Dark Sucker Theory and the existence of dark you were to stand in a lit room in front of a closed, dark suckers prove that dark has mass, is heavier than closet, and slowly opened the closet door, you would light, and is faster than light. see the light slowly enter the closet. But since dark is so fast, you would not be able to see the dark leave the First, the basis of the Dark Sucker Theory is that closet. electric bulbs suck dark. For example, take the Dark Sucker in the room you are in. There is much less dark Next time you see an electric bulb, remember that it is right next to it than there is elsewhere. The larger the really a Dark Sucker. Dark Sucker, the greater its capacity to suck dark. Dark Suckers in the parking lot have a much greater 6. The Medicrin Story capacity to suck dark than the ones in your room. Long ago, before Gamecubes, before Playstations, even As it is with all things, Dark Suckers don't last forever. before Atari, there were nasty, vile monsters roaming Once they are full of dark, they can no longer suck. the land. In those days, a few brave, strong men made This is proven by the dark spot on a full Dark Sucker. A their living by protecting common people from these candle is a primitive Dark Sucker. A new candle has a beasts. This is a story about one such man named Erik white wick. You can see that after the first use, the and the adventure he had. wick turns black, representing all the dark that has been sucked into it. If you put a pencil next to the There was a small village on the edge of a wide prairie, wick of an operating candle, it will turn black. This is next to a very thick forest that led up into the cold, dark because it got in the way of the dark flowing into the mountains. In these mountains lived the dreaded candle. One of the disadvantages of these primitive Medicrin. The Medicrin would stalk down from the Dark Suckers is their limited range. mountains in the dead of night, sneak into the village, and snatch a sleeping villager. He would take the poor There are also portable Dark Suckers. In these, the soul away and eat him for breakfast. This happened bulbs can't handle all the dark by themselves and 45 every week so you can imagine the villagers became learned it wore the same underwear for 3 weeks in a quite tired of it. row. He learned it could not sing at all, but enjoyed listening to opera music. But, most importantly, he The terrified villagers called a meeting, and decided to learned that Medicrins love sugar more than anything hire the greatest hero around - Erik the Brave! else in the world, even turnip-spinach surprise!

Erik rode into town on his trusty steed, entered the So, Erik used some of the money the villagers had given city hall, and listened to the story the villagers told of him and rode his trusty steed to the next village, the monster that attacked at night each week. When bought all the sugar he could carry and returned - this they were finished, Erik told them he would have a took two days because villages were far apart in those plan in the morning and he went to his hotel room. days. The next day, he rode to a different village and bought their sugar. The next day, he went to yet In his room, he consulted his Great Hero's Book of another village. It had now been a week and the Vile Monsters, and found the chapter about the Medicrin was due to come again this night. Medicrin. He learned that Medicrins stink like rotten Erik gathered all this sugar and threw it into the pit. The eggs. He learned they have 6 fingers with long claws. loon, that was still stuck down in the pit, had not eaten He learned they never brush their teeth. He learned in a week now and was extremely hungry. As fast as they have very good noses. And he learned they love Erik could throw the sugar in the pit, the loon ate it up. to eat human flesh, but even more, they love to eat It ate ALL the sugar! Loons. Erik was struck with panic, and ran to and fro trying to So, early the next morning, actually very, very early figure out what to do next, but night had fallen, and the the next morning, Erik hunted high and low, near and Medicrin would be there soon, so Erik crossed his far, to find a loon. He finally found one just before fingers, and hoped for the best. breakfast, captured it, tied it up, and brought it back to the village. He then told the villagers his plan. That night, the Medicrin came . . . He had them dig a pit that was 20 feet deep (because It smelled the loon . . . the Medicrin was 9 feet tall) and 10 feet around. It came closer to the pit . . . While they were digging, Erik tied a big rock to the leg It smelled sugar . . . of the loon, so it could not fly away. It came closer to the pit . . . When the pit was finished, just about a half hour It smelled DANGER and turned to run away. before sunset, Erik tossed in the rock, and of course But, that smell of sugar was just too overpowering. the loon went in too. Then, he told the villagers to go It couldn't resist. to their homes while he waited for the Medicrin. The Medicrin ran up and dove down into the pit. Erik jumped in the bushes and waited with his great And, it was trapped! broadsword with which to slay the Medicrin. Brave Erik leaped from behind the bush, raised his sword, and jumped down onto the Medicrin, driving his That night, the Medicrin snuck into the village . . . sword into its neck, and slew it. It smelled the loon . . . It came closer to the pit . . . Which just goes to show: A loon full of sugar helps the But then it smelled DANGER, and it ran off. On the Medicrin go down. way out of the village, it grabbed one of the villagers for a snack.

Needless to say, the villagers were not happy. Some demanded their money back, others wanted to throw Erik into the pit. After calming the villagers, the next day, Erik again consulted his Great Hero's Book of Vile Monsters, and learned more about the Medicrin. He

had a heart attack. Bob rushes up and asks what 7. The Most Popular Man Story happened. His boss looks up at him and replies, 'I was doing ok One day at work, Bob was bragging that he knew when you came out on the balconey. But then the guy everyone that was anyone. His boss got tired of his next to me asks 'Hey, who's that up on there on the boasting and decided to call him on it. balconey with Bob?" He said, 'OK Bob, how about Clint Eastwood? Do you know him?' 'Oh sure ', said Bob. 'He and my Dad shoot pheasant 8. Cremation of Sam McGee Story together and he's a great guy.' 'OK, prove it', said his boss. 'Let's fly out to Hollywood There are strange things done in the midnight sun and you can introduce me.' By the men who moil for gold, 'Great!', said Bob. And so they did. They took a taxi to And the arctic trails have their secret tales Mr. Eastwood's estate, Bob knocks on the door, Mr. That would make your blood run cold. Eastwood opens it and shouts, 'Bob! Hey, great to see The northern lights have seen queer sights, you! You and your friend come on in and have lunch.' But the queerest they ever did see Bob's boss was impressed, but still skeptical. When Was the night on the marge of Lake LaBarge they left after lunch, he said, 'That was a coincidence I cremated Sam McGee. that you knew Clint Eastwood. How about President Bush?' Now, Sam McGee was from Tennessee 'Sure, I know him', replied Bob. So, they fly off to Where the cotton blooms and blows. Washington, DC and head to the White House. Why he left his home in the south to roam As they are touring the grounds, Mr. Bush sees Bob 'Round the pole, God only knows. and comes right over saying, 'My gosh, Bob, I haven't He was always cold, but the land of gold seen you in a couple years. Come on in, have some Seemed to hold him like a spell, coffee and let's catch up.' Though he'd often say, in his homely way, After a couple hours, Bob and his boss are escorted He'd sooner live in hell. off the White House grounds and Bob asks his boss, 'Well, do you believe me now?' On a Christmas day we were mushing our way His boss, shaken and a bit bewildered, but still not Over the Dawson Trail. completely convinced says, 'I'll believe you if you Talk of your cold:through the parka's fold show me you know one more person - the Pope.' It stabbed like a driven nail. 'Certainly', says Bob, 'I've known the Pope since I was If our eyes we'd close, then the lashes froze just a little kid. Let's fly over to Italy.' 'Till sometimes we couldn't see. So, off to Rome they fly and join a mass of people in It wasn't much fun, but the only one Vatican Square waiting to catch a glimpse of the Pope. To whimper was Sam McGee. Bob says, 'There's no way I can get the Pope's attention with all these people here. How about if I go And that very night as we lay packed tight talk to one of the guards I know and then I'll come out In our robes beneath the snow, on the balconey with the Pope to prove to you I know And the dogs were fed, and the stars o'erhead him.' Were dancing heel and toe, Bob's boss waits as Bob heads off into the crowd. He turned to me, and 'Cap', says he, About 15 minutes later, the Pope emerges on the 'I'll cash in this trip, I guess, balconey and right beside him is Bob waving to the And if I do, I'm asking that you crowd. Won't refuse my last request.' When Bob returned a few minutes later to where he had left his boss, there were paramedics there Well, he seemed so low I couldn't say no, surrounding his boss laying on the ground - he had And he says with a sort of moan, 'It's the cursed cold, and it's got right hold 47

'Till I'm chilled clean through to the bone. 'Is my crematorium.' Yet 'ta'int being dead, it's my awful dread Of the icy grave that pains, Some planks I tore from the cabin floor So I want you to swear that, foul or fair, And lit the boiler fire. You'll cremate my last remains.' Some coal I found that was lying around And heaped the fuel higher. A pal's last need is a thing to heed, The flames just soared, and the furnace roared, And I swore that I would not fail. Such a blaze you seldom see. We started on at the streak of dawn, Then I burrowed a hole in the glowing coal But, God, he looked ghastly pale. And I stuffed in Sam McGee. He crouched on the sleigh, and he raved all day Of his home in Tennessee, Then I made a hike, for I didn't like And before nightfall, a corpse was all To hear him sizzle so. That was left of Sam McGee. And the heavens scowled, and the huskies howled, And the wind began to blow. There wasn't a breath in that land of death It was icy cold, but the hot sweat rolled As I hurried, horror driven, Down my cheek, and I don't know why, With a corpse half hid that I couldn't get rid And the greasy smoke in an inky cloak Because of a promise given. Went streaking down the sky. It was lashed to the sleigh, and it seemed to say, 'You may tax your brawn and brains, I do not know how long in the snow But you promised true, and it's up to you I wrestled with gristly fear. To cremate those last remains.' But the stars came out, and they danced about 'Ere again I ventured near. Now, a promise made is a debt unpaid, I was sick with dread, but I bravely said, And the trail has its own stern code. 'I'll just take a peek inside. In the days to come, 'though my lips were dumb, I guess he's cooked, and it's time I looked', In my heart, how I cursed the load. And the door I opened wide. In the long, long night by the lone firelight While the huskies 'round in a ring And there sat Sam, looking calm and cool Howled out their woes to the homeless snows In the heart of the furnace roar. Oh, God, how I loathed the thing. He wore a smile you could see a mile, And he said, 'Please close that door. And every day that quiet clay It's fine in here, but I greatly fear Seemed to heavy and heavier grow. You'll let in the cold and storm. And on I went, though the dogs were spent Since I left Plumbtree down in Tennessee And the grub was getting low. It's the first time I've been warm.' The trail was bad, and I felt half mad, But I swore I would not give in, There are strange things done in the midnight sun And often I'd sing to the hateful thing, By the men who moil for gold, And it hearkened with a grin. And the arctic trails have their secret tales That would make your blood run cold. 'Till I came to the marge of Lake LaBarge, The northern lights have seen queer sights, And a derelict there lay. But the queerest they ever did see It was jammed in the ice, and I saw in a trice Was the night on the marge of Lake LaBarge It was called the 'Alice May'. I cremated Sam McGee. I looked at it, and I thought a bit, And I looked at my frozen chum, Then, 'Here', said I, with a sudden cry,

9. Ghost Train I was firing up an engine in the yard one evening in I was a railway fireman back in those days, working on early July when the report of an accident came in. The the CPR line in Alberta. I did a hard day's work and Spokane Flyer and a Lethbridge passenger train had a earned me a fair wage. I was young then, and my head-on collision on the single track three kilometers pretty little bride was just setting up housekeeping in outside of Medicine Hat, on the exact spot where the the little cottage that was all we could afford. Life was Ghost Train had appeared. The Lethbridge locomotive good, and I thought everything would continue rolling had derailed and its baggage car was destroyed. Seven along that way. people were killed in the accident, including the two engineers. One was my buddy Twohey, and the other Then came that fateful day in May of 1908. I was was Nicholson. working nights that month, and my buddy Twohey was the engineer. We were about three kilometers out of Medicine Hat when a blazing light appeared in 10. Vinder Viper Story front of the engine. It was another train on a collision course with us. Twohey yelled at me to jump, but Notes: there was no time. The light was right on top of us. I The punch line should be delivered as a little old thought we were dead. Then the oncoming train German man with such an accent. veered off to the right and ran passed us, its whistle blowing and the passengers staring at us through the Years ago, a man inherited a house from his great uncle windows. But there was only a single track in that who died in the war. The house sat on a hill outside of stretch of hills, and it was the one we were on. I town in the next state and rumors were told that it was looked over at the shrieking, rumbling Ghost Train haunted. The man traveled to the town to inspect the and saw that the wheels were not touching the house and found that it was a wonderful old mansion in ground! great condition, but very, very old. So, he decided to move in and enjoy his inheritance. Well, we were mighty spooked by the incident. Twohey decided to take some time off from A couple weeks after he moved in, late at night, the engineering and began working in the yard; but I kept phone rang. When he answered it, a voice said, "I am working the night shift as a fireman, not wanting the Vinder Viper. I will be there in 2 weeks!" and then it some Ghost Train to drive me away a job I enjoyed. hung up before he could say anything. This really shook the man. The next day, he searched the Internet under A few weeks later, I was stoking the fire for an 'snakes' for 'vinder viper' but found nothing. engineer named Nicholson when we heard the shrill whistle blast through the calm night air. We were on A week past with no concerns and again, late one night, the same single track just outside of Medicine Hat, the phone rang. "I am the Vinder Viper. I will be there and the brilliant light of the Ghost Train burst out of in 1 week!" and hung up. This made the man quite nowhere, blinding us. Nicholson gave a shout of terror nervous, not knowing what a vinder viper was. He and I thought my heart would stop. As before, the asked around the town, and no one had ever heard of Ghost Train veered off to the right at the last possible any such viper. second. I saw it race passed us on tracks that did not exist, its passengers staring curiously at Nicholson and Four days later, late at night, the phone rang. "I am the I from out of the windows. Vinder Viper. I will be there in 2 days!" The man is getting much more concerned now. That did it. I wasn't about to go back on the tracks after that. I did yard work for the rest of the month of The next night, the phone rang. "I am the Vinder Viper. May and a few weeks in June. Finally, I decided that I will be there tomorrow!" Needless to say, the man is enough was enough, and I gritted my teeth and just plain scared now. resumed my role as fireman. 49

The next evening, the phone rang. "I am the Vinder 'Wow!' I replied. 'But, what about the legs?' Viper. I will be there in 1 hour!" The man tries to leave, but his car battery is dead. 'Just this spring, that pig saved my wife when she got locked in the smokehouse. That pig somehow got the Nearly an hour later, the phone rang. "I am the Vinder door unlocked and got my wife out before she cooked Viper. I will be there in 2 minutes!" The man runs to death.' around locking all the windows and doors and calls 911. The police are on their way. 'Alright!', I interrupted, 'I realize that pig is special, but why does it have three artificial legs?' Soon, there was a knock at the door. The man opened the door a crack and asked, "Is that the police?" 'Well, a pig like that is just too special to eat all at once!' "No, I am the vinder viper. I come every month to vipe your vindows." 12. Ballad of Johnny O'Dell

11. Some Special Pig Story Wild are the tales of the Pony Express And most of them are true if I don't miss my guess. I remember when I was younger, down the road lived But wildest of all tales that they tell old farmer Palmire. Mr. Palmire was a pretty good Is that of fearless young Johnny O'Dell. farmer for those parts and had chickens, cows, vegetables, the whole works. I'd occasionally help him Johnny was little, but he was a man with his farm chores to earn a bit of spending money. Whom none could outride, outshoot or outplan. One day, while forking hay out of his barn, I noticed a Ride, he could ride anything that could run pig walk around the corner of the barn. Strange thing And could outdo any man with a gun. was, this pig had three artificial legs. He kind of hobbled along and stood over at the feed trough and Back in those days there were men in the West had his fill. And Johnny O'Dell was as good as the best. When I was done with my work, I asked old Palmire Only the bravest could carry the mail about that pig. Why would anyone give a pig an Through terrible dangers that haunted the trail. artificial leg - especially three of them! Mr. Palmire told me, 'Well, that's not no ordinary pig. Dangers there were on the night I describe, That there pig is darn special. One day, my son Jimmy For Johnny encountered an Indian tribe. was swimming in the creek when he got stuck under Blackie, his horse, gave a new burst of speed. some tree roots. That old pig jumped right in the No Indian pinto could equal that steed. water, dove under, yanked those roots out, and drug Jimmy to shore! Now, that's one special pig!' Bullets and arrows whizzed over his head As into the foe and right through them he sped. I said, 'That's amazing. But, what about his artificial Outlaws had raided the station ahead legs?' The horses were stolen, his partner was dead.

'Well,' continued Mr. Palmire, 'another time, my Onward went Johnny over the trail. daughter Tilly was walking down yonder through the For such was the life when you carry the mail trees when a stray cougar jumped out of a tree and Rivers they forded for bridges there were none was going to attack her. Just then, this here pig came While crossing one stream he was stopped by a gun. tearing through the brush, barreled right into that cougar and chased him clean out of the valley. Most "Halt!" cried a man on the bank of the creek- amazing thing I ever heard of a pig doing.' As together they fired by the light of the sun. Still lay the stranger whom Johnny had met, 50

For all that I know he is lying there yet. (At this point you should add your own horrific tales of Onward went Johnny into the West, icy crevasses, blizzards, starvation, polar bears, thin ice, As a spot of crimson appeared on his vest. thick snow: anything to make the journey as difficult Together they continued their hazardous ride, and as courageous as possible.) The powerful horse with the brave man astride. Weeks passed as Sam and Rover, footsore, frostbitten Into the town of Red Gulch did they go, and weak from lack of food, fought their way nearer As blotches of blood marked their way through the and nearer to the millionaire's deathbed. Would they snow. find his house? Would he have found another dog? This was the end of the perilous trail Would he still be alive? Urgently, Sam asked at each Through bullets, and arrows; through blizzards and trading post or small homestead he passed. hail. "My word, that's a shaggy dog you have there!" folks Johnny dismounted and cried with a wail, remarked whenever he stopped. "Oh, Darn it all, I've forgotten the mail!" "That's the shagiest dog I've ever seen!" "Is there a dog under all that shaggy hair?"

13. Shaggy Dog Story Finally, Sam and Rover reached the mansion of the multi-millionaire and stopped at the huge oak-studded Way up in the very north of Canada, there lived a front door. Raising a weather-beaten hand, Sam tugged trapper and his dog. His name was Sam - the trapper, at the wrought iron bell-pull. Distantly, the bell clanged. not the dog. The dog's name was Rover and he was an The door opened and a butler stood in the doorway. extremely shaggy dog - I mean REALLY shagy. "I've come about the shaggy dog ad in this newspaper," Out in the wilderness, Sam did not get visitors nor said Sam, carefully drawing out the clipping from his much mail. But, he did have a newspaper subscription pocket and offering Rover's lead to the butler. to help stay current with the world. Once a month a plane flew over and dropped out Sam's copy of the Silently, the butler withdrew with the dog. Sam listened newspaper from the closest town which was 98 miles to his footsteps cross the huge hall and climb the away. massive circular staircase. He waited patiently on the doorstep, dreaming of the luxury soon to be his. At last Today just happened to be newspaper day so Sam the butler reappeared. Solemnly, he handed back the picked up the paper, went to his cabin, made a cup of dog. hot chocolate and sat down to read. After reading the entire paper, Sam noticed an interesting ad on the "Not shaggy enough," he said, and shut the door back page. It said that way down south in Minnesota an eccentric multi-millionaire was offering half his fortune if only someone would bring him his dying wish, a really shaggy dog.

Carefully he tore the item from the newspaper and placed it in his pocket. Whistling for Rover, he hurriedly packed for his journey. It would be a long haul through some of the worst of the winter months, but he could do it!

And so, with packsack and snowshoes, and Rover on a makeshift lead, he headed south. 51

He pried up the lid of the coffin and tried to pull ring off 14. The Emerald Ring (Scary Story) her finger, but it would not budge. He twisted, yanked, and pulled with no luck. Frantically, he ran to the There was once a very rich young man that fell in love kitchen and returned with a butcher knife. with a beautiful woman. They dated and were engaged. For an engagement gift, he gave her an He hacked off her finger and then pulled off the ring. exquisite emerald ring appraised at $135,000. She What an amazing ring! As he reached to close the lid of loved her ring and wore it all the time. The man also the coffin, the dead woman's eyes popped open, her had a new house built for them to live in once they mouth twisted into a grin, and she reached towards were married. him with both hands, the severed ring finger dripping dark blood. The morning of their wedding day, in the church before the ceremony, the woman suddenly became The priest screamed, dropped the ring, and ran up to very sick so the bridesmaid called 9-1-1. his room where he hung himself from the rafters Paramedics arrived only 15 minutes later, but it was because he knew this ghost was after him for stealing too late, she had already died. The husband-to-be was its ring. heart-broken and distraught with grief. He told the priest to hold the funeral that very afternoon instead Little did he know that the woman was really alive and of the wedding ceremony and bury her the next day. was only going to thank him. She had not actually died, He then locked himself in the attic of his new home but had slipped into a deep coma. The trauma of and would talk to no one. cutting off her finger had shocked her back to consciousness, saving her from being buried alive the The priest that was to perform their wedding agreed next day. to lead the funeral but, as it turns out, he was greedy, very greedy. He agreed to do the funeral but Wearing her wedding dress, the young woman walked demanded extra pay for his time, taking advantage of through the night to her new home and knocked and the rich young man's grief and wealth. Of course, the rang the bell but no one answered. Circling the house, families agreed since they had no options on such she saw a light on in the attic window so she threw a short notice. rock at it. The young man opened the window and peered down. All the wedding guests came to the funeral where the bride was wearing her wedding dress and her big He saw his bride and said, "Begone, ghost! Leave me in emerald engagement ring. Everyone marveled at how peace and stop torturing me!" beautiful she was, even in death, and how sad it was that the groom was taking it so hard. But, his bride said, "No, I am no ghost. Look, I am bleeding. Now, get down here right now or I surely will After the short service, all the guests left and the die before morning!" coffin was sealed. The next day, it would be placed in the ground. The man ran downstairs and brought her inside. The doctor was called and they were married (by a different That night, while resting in his room above the priest) the next day and lived happily ever after. church, the priest could not stop thinking about the beautiful young woman's emerald ring. It sparkled and twinkled in the lights and would now never be seen again - what a waste. What a waste of so much money! Finally, he could stand it no longer and decided to take the ring for himself since no one would ever know.

The room sat vacant for more years until a U.S. Marshal 15. Ghost with One Black Eye Story drove into town in a new fangled automobile instead of on a horse. He asked Grandpappy for a room, but this Notes: was the busy season and guess what - there was only Quite a few different versions of this and it is similar one room left and Grandpappy explained it was to 'Ghost of Able Fable'. haunted. "That's just fine," said the Marshal. "I've killed 37 men, Could be done as a skit. been shot 12 times, bit by a rattlesnake twice, and My great-grandfather ran a hotel downtown back in gargle with turpentine every morning. I'm not too the days when people were tough and times were concerned about some silly ghost." hard. Folks traveling through town would need a So, he went up to his room. But, no sooner had he place to wash off the road dust, eat, and sleep a spell. closed the door when he heard, "I'm the ghost with one His hotel turned a nice little profit and many nights black eye. I'm the ghost with one black eye." during the summer, every room would be filled - that He turned and smashed right through the door, leaped is every room except one! the entire flight of stairs, picked up his automobile, and ran out of town screaming and hollering at the top of As the story goes, this one room was haunted. Seems his lungs. that way back when the hotel was first built a man got in a fight over a girl down in the bar. He took a [Make up any number of characters, getting tougher tremendous left cross right in his left eye and it each time...] knocked him out - just one punch. Folks hauled him up to his room to sleep it off, but he never woke up - A couple years after that, in the early 1900s, a family died right there in the room. was passing through town on a family vacation. Any idea how many rooms were left? Since then, no one was able to sleep in that room NOPE - there were TWO rooms left! cause of the ghost. One day, a barmaid needed a But, the mother and father wanted their own room and room. their young son could have his own. Grandpappy told Grandpappy said, "Sorry, miss, I've only got one room them about the ghost, but the boy just said, "Wow! A left and its haunted." REAL GHOST? Cool!" "That's ok, I'll take it," replied the barmaid. While getting ready for bed, she heard, "I'm the ghost The mom and dad went to their room and the boy with one black eye. I'm the ghost with one black eye." opened his up. He took a bath, got ready for bed, and Scared the bejeebers out of her! She ran downstairs hopped in. Just then, he heard, "I'm the ghost with one in her nightgown, right out the front door, and was black eye. I'm the ghost with one black eye." never seen again. And, the boy hollered back, "Well, I'm a Cub Scout and you don't scare me! If you don't shut up, you're gonna A few years later, a cowboy rented the room. be the ghost with TWO black eyes!" Grandpappy said it was haunted, but he said, "Shoot Heck, pardner, I rope bulls and don't spit out my chaw juice. I ain't afeared of no ghost." But, as he was taking a bat, he heard, "I'm the ghost with one black eye. I'm the ghost with one black eye." That cowboy gulped, choked on his chaw, his face turned purple, his eyes bulged out, he jumped out of the bath, covered his private parts with his hat, and skidaddled out of town like a jackrabbit across the prairie.

17. Red Sloppity Lips 16. Nail in the Attic Story A boy was riding his bike along an old road and had When I was a young boy, there was a strange old man become lost. He was trying to find his way back to a gas in our neighborhood named Frank Samuels. We all station to get directions when it began to rain. He called him Frownin' Frank because he was awful pulled his jacket up over his head to help keep the rain ornery and none of us every saw him smile. He had a away, but it began to rain harder. Then it began to mangy old dog he called King that always used other thunder and lightning, so he knew that he must find people's yards for a bathroom. shelter quickly. Every morning and every evening, Frownin' Frank Up ahead he saw an old abandoned house, so he ran would take King for a walk and let him do his business onto the porch. Certainly nobody would mind. But the in someone's yeard. I figure King was Frank's only wind began to blow and blew the door right open. The friend. wind blew so hard, that it blew the rain onto the porch soaking the boy even more. So he went inside to get One evening, while we were playing in the street, out of the rain. The house was very large and though it Frank came walking down the road, hollering, 'King! was abandoned, dirty, full of cobwebs and in need of King! here boy!' some repair, it kept the boy dry. He hollered at us, 'You boys seen my dog?' We hadn't and we told him so. A big gust of wind blew in the door and then back out Frank just kept on frownin' and yelling for his dog. again, slamming the door shut. The boy tried to open About an hour later, he came back looking pretty the door, but the rain had caused the door to swell, depressed and headed for his home. He hadn't found wedging it in the door frame when it slammed. He King. could not open it.

Frank looked all around his yard, in the shed out back, Just then, he heard a voice call out, 'Do you know what under the house and in the bushes in the back yard - I do with my red sloppity lips and my long green no sign of King anywhere. fingers?' Next to the door was a large, green hairy monster with Finally, he went inside, took off his coat and shoes, huge red lips, pointed fangs, and gangly legs and arms and sat down in his chair. He knew he had to call the with very long green fingernails. The boy panicked and dog pound. Just as he picked up the phone, he heard ran down the hall. The monster followed. a noise like scratching and whining upstairs. He put down the phone and quietly walked up the stairs in Again, he heard the monster say, 'Do you know what I his socks so he could still hear the noise. do with my red sloppity lips and my long green fingers?' When he got to the top, the sound came from still as he followed him down the hall. higher up - in the attic! He climbed the stairs up to the The boy ran up some stairs at the end of the hall. And attic door, making no sound in just his socks. the monster pursued him.

He stood outside listening, but he didn't hear a thing. The monster was getting closer, and he heard the Then he opened the door, stepped in, and - monster say louder, 'Do you know what I do with my red sloppity lips and my long green fingers?' (Now SCREAM LOUDLY!) The boy ran away from the monster down the hall at the top of the stairs and into a room at the end of the At this point, don't say anything more. Just sit there as hall, closing the door behind him. But he heard loud if you have finished the story. Somebody will ask, footsteps coming down the hall. And he had run into a 'Why did he scream?' room with no windows, so he hid in the closet. You reply, 'You'd scream too if you stepped on a nail The bedroom door crashed open and again he heard in your bare feet!' the monster say even louder, 'Do you know what I do with my red sloppity lips and my long green fingers?' 54

The boy tucked himself into a corner of the closet and The next day I went to the zoo, put on the gorilla suit hid as best as he could. The closet door opened wide and climbed into the cage. I sat on the branch holding and the huge hairy monster stood before him. Again, the rope and soon there was a crowd of children so loud that it hurt the boy's ears, the monster once pressing their faces to the bars. It didn't take long for again said, 'Do you know what I do with my red me to start getting bored, so I would scratch my sloppity lips and my long green fingers?' armpits, thump my chest, and twirl the rope. About an The boy shook as he answered with fear in a quiet hour passed and I began to really get into this gorilla voice 'no'. stuff. I would grab the rope and swing across the cage. The monster said, 'Then I'll show you!' The kids thought it was great so I started swinging higher and higher. BLBLBLBLBLBLBLBL (Put your fingers to your lips and strum them across your lips while you make a 'b' In the next cage there was a lion and he was becoming sound. Cross your eyes when you do this if you can. irritated by my antics and began to pace his cage and This should result in the desired silly effect.) roar. I kept swinging and started to swing to the lion's side of the cage and would use my feet to push off of his bars. I could really swing out far and he roared even 18. Job at the Zoo louder. It was actually pretty fun and the kids were really enjoying the show. In high school, I needed money. I was able to drive, had a girlfriend, and like to go out with my friends. My All of a sudden I missed the bars, flew through, and folks didn't have much money and I needed to pay my dropped right into the lion's cage! I landed on my back own way. and was stunned but immediately got up and ran to the I had already done jobs working at restaurants and front of the cage to the croud, screaming "Help me, grocery stores and wanted to try something more help me, I'm not who you think I am!" interesting. While searching around, I stopped at the zoo. Just as I yelled, the lion jumped on my back and knocked me to the ground. His head was at my neck As it turned out, the zoo director liked my style and and I was sure I'd never make it to graduation. Then he said he had an interesting job that he felt I could whispered in my ear, "Shut up stupid, or you'll get us handle. We walked through the back alleys and both fired". tunnels of the zoo that most people never see until we got to the gorilla cage. But, it was empty.

The director told me that their gorilla named Kong had caught a bug and was in quarantine for the next week. Kong was getting old and they were even now shopping around for a replacement since Kong just sits on a treebranch holding onto a rope all day. When the crowds started arriving on the weekend, they'd be disappointed to have no gorilla since everyone enjoys the gorilla exhibit, even a boring old gorilla.

The director said he had a gorilla suit I could wear if I would be interested in sitting on the branch for 4 hours at a time so the people would at least have something to look at. It sounded good to me, not the usual high school job, so I told him I would.

FIIINNNNNNGGGERRRRR" (getting louder and louder 19. Bloody Finger each time it's said) He runs to the window and jumps out, never to be seen again. There once was a family a long time ago that went on The sister starts to wonder where everyone has gone vacation. A mother, father, Brother, Sister and last to. She goes into the bathroom to check things out. but not least a small baby. After a long day of sight Once in the bathroom she decides to wash up. She seeing and traveling the family decides to check into a walks to the sink, turns on the water and hears a scary local hotel. They'd checked out all the surrounding voice "BBBBLLLLLLOOOODDDDYYYYY areas and the hotels were all full. Finally they come to FFIIINNNNGGGGEEERRRRR" (getting louder each time the last one and are desperate! They enter in to find it's said) She's so scared that she runs to the bathroom that the hotel is full! Desperate, the father tells the window and jumps out, never to be seen again. clerk "We'll take anything you have..just Anything!! Ok...so all that's left is the baby,.....he's pretty upset Please Mr. don't you have a room for us?" The clerk that everyone has left him alone and he can't even felt really bad for the family and told the father "Sir, reach that delicous pizza himself! He's going to tell we do happen to have just one room left. We don't them exactly what he thinks about it too! JUST as soon normally let people stay in it though. It's haunted. as he can find them. He crawls into the bathroom to Everyone that has stayed always disappearsin the see where everyone has gone. First he opens the middle of the night without so much as a goodbyeor door...nothing...he crawls over to the sink...still even paying their bill!" The father says " Great!! We'll nothing....."hmm" he thinks to himself...THEN he hears take it! You see, I don't believe in all that ghost it! The scary scary voice..."BLLLLOOODDDDYYY rubbish anyhow!" He takes the key and they go off FIIINNNNNGGERRRRR" The baby, frustrated, looks into the old hotel room. Seeing as how the family was around ..."BLLLLOOODDDDYYY FIIINNNNNGGERRRRR" so tired from their travel, the family decided to order (much louder this time!) the baby just sits there out for pizza. The pizza finally arrives and the mother ,..."BLLLLOOODDDDYYY FIIINNNNNGGERRRRR (VERY gets the pizza and sits it on the counter. The little loud) Finally the baby says just as loud and very baby was so hungry!! He watched that pizza the frustrated "AWWWW Stick A BANDAID ON IT!" he whole time! Mom announced "Everyone it's time to shouts! wash up for dinner!!" So off to the bathroom Mom goes to wash her hands for dinner. She enters into the 20. Farmer Jones And The Big Quake bathroom, turns on the sink and a horribly scary voice can be heard... On a bright and sunny morning in May, Farmer Jones "BLOOOOOODYYYYYYYY FINNNNNNNNGGGERRRRRR" went out to plow his fields. He led old Bessie, his plow It scares the mom so badly that she jumps out the horse, out of the barn and hitched her up to the plow. bathroom window and runs away! Never to be seen The aroma of newly plowed earth wafted behind him again! as he produced a ruler straight furrow across the field. After a few minutes the father starts to wonder Suddenly his reverie was broken as a strong earthquake where the mother is...so he tells the kids he'll go find struck. As the ground shook beneath his feet, he fell to out so that they can take their turn in the bathroom his knees. His plow fell over almost on top of him, as and then eat the pizza. He goes into the bathroom, did old Bessie. But, beyond the fence in the next field, turn on the sink and hears that same scary voice the bull remained standing. "BLOOOOOOODYYYYYY FIIIINNNNNNNNGGGGERRRRR" Farmer Jones stood, dusted himself off, and grabbed He gets so scared that he runs to the window, jumps the reins to right old Bessie. He pulled the plow upright, out never to be seen again. hitched up the horse again and began to plow. Shaken After a few minutes the brother starts to wonder somewhat by the strange experience, the furrow began where Mom and Dad went. He goes into the to zig a little from side to side as Bessie pulled the plow bathroom to check on them. He walks over to the blade through the fertile ground. After only a few sink, turns on the water and hears seconds a strong aftershock rolled through the farm. "BBBBLLLLLLOOOODDDDYYYY Again it was strong enough to knock Farmer Jones from 56 his feet, topple his plow, and with a loud protest, that he might as well try to find a way out of this mess. drive old Bessie to the ground. This time the farmer He considered waiting in his car for another car to looked back across the field toward the house and come by and help him. The road wasn't often used noticed that the goats and cows had fallen over, too though, and that might take hours, so Jeff decided to .... But, beyond the fence in the next field, the bull first walk down the road to see if there were any other remained standing. choices. After walking f or a half hour in the pounding rain, Jeff finally came across an old house in the woods. Shaken and puzzled, Farmer Jones picked himself up Now Jeff had seen enough horror movies to make him and dusted off his overalls. Righting the horse and turn back, but the rain alone was enough to override plow, he quieted old Bessie as best he could. She his sense of fear and trepidation. He walked up the seemed more rattled by all this that he was. As strong winding road up to the door. They looked to be very old as the two earthquakes were, Farmer Jones could not and not kept up well, and Jeff wondered if anyone even understand how the bull remained standing. So he lived there anymore... started toward the other field to see if he could find out what was going on with the bull. As he crossed He knocked on the door, and to his surprise, it was the field, and climbed through the fence into the field answered rather quickly. An older man, looking to be in where the bull stood, a very strong aftershock struck - his late 70s, asked him what he wanted. Jeff explained - much worse than either of the preceding his situation and asked if the man had a phone or earthquakes -- putting him on the ground flat on his someway to help. The old man said he was wary of face. Looking behind himself he saw Old Bessie and travelers, but decided that Jeff looked honest enough, the plow had fallen down again. Down toward the and let him use his phone. Jeff thanked him, and asked house the goats and cows had fallen down again. In his name. He said his name was Joseph Palmer, and fact, this aftershock was so strong that the chickens told Jeff the number of the nearest garage. Jeff made had fallen over as well. The front porch on the his way through to the phone, noticing that the house farmhouse had crashed down and the walls looked as looked about as old inside as it did outside, and was though they would not last much longer. But, only a surprised that there was even a phone at the place. He few feet away from him, the bull remained standing. called the garage, but they said there was nothing they could do until the morning, and they would meet him He picked himself up, dusted off, and without at noon at his car. Mr. Palmer offered Jeff the bothering to right either horse or plow, marched guestroom to sleep in for the night. Jeff was a bit wary toward the bull. Shaken to the core, puzzled and at spending the night in such a spooky old house, but angry, Farmer Jones shouted, demanding to know decided that the walk back in the rain and sleeping in why everything on the farm had been knocked over the car couldn't be much safer than staying at the by the earthquakes and the bull had remained on his house. He accepted, and was shown to the room. feet. Much to Farmer Jones' astonishment, the bull replied, "We bulls wobble, but we don't fall down!" The house was adorned with antique everything, not a piece of furniture seemed to have been purchased in at least the last 60 years or more. Mr. Palmer showed him 21. A House of Terror the room, and bided him good night. The man was nice, but the whole situation still left Jeff unnerved. He just The car finally gave out. Jeff hit the dashboard in tired to tell himself that he had watched far too many frustration. It was bad enough that the car had to horror movies as a child. The bedroom had a canopy break down, but at night, in the rain, in the middle of bed, one old lamp, a single window, and a red carpet. God knows wherever he was, it was a fitting end to The house was eerily quiet as Jeff laid himself down on his bad week. The week had seen his wife le aver him, the bed. Quiet...except for a creek here, and a thump taking the kids with her. He had been demoted at his there. By now, Jeff's imagination had him too paranoid job, and was now forced to go back on the road as a to sleep, as he heard Mr. Palmer outside the room, salesman. Now this had happened, and things weren't walking up and down the hallway outside. Up he went, going to get any better anytime soon. Jeff decided and down he went. Then, the footsteps stopped, right 57 outside his room. Jeff waited, yet nothing happened. A half hour passed, and yet h e heard nothing except the rain beating outside, and the wind howling as the 22. 10 Holes storm blew on. Finally sleep slowly overcame Jeff, even with his nervousness heightened. Slowly, his Once in a little village not that far from here, there was eyes closed, though he thought he could almost hear a problem. Animals had started dying off, one by one. something scratching at hi s door... In the morning their owners would see them lying outside with 10 holes in their chest. The people thought Jeff awoke, the stormed had passed, and daylight was it was the work of their neighboring town (insert shining through the window curtains. Happy that all name). his nervousness was for nothing; Jeff got out of bed, and checked his watch. He had slept in until 11:20, Then, one night a man by the name of Fred was closing and had to leave quickly before the garage e people his store for the night. It was very late, and he was got to his car. Leaving the room, he was greeted by anxious to get home to his family. He shut off all the Mr. Palmer. Palmer asked him if he had slept well. Jeff lights, then closed the door with a satisfying click. As he replied that he had, though he had trouble falling turned around to go to his car he saw a dark shape in asleep. Palmer laughed and asked if he was afraid of the distance. He stood still trying to make out what it the old house at night in the middle of nowhere. Jeff was. As it got closer, Fred turned to go. It was the last admitted that maybe, he was a bit afraid, but he felt move he ever made. The next day they found him with silly for it now. He thanked Palmer, and said he had to 10 holes in his chest. leave quickly to get to his car. He turned to leave, when suddenly, something banged his head and This made the town quite worried. They were scared of everything went quite dark. .. more people getting killed. So, one night two brave brothers, John and Jacob went out to get rid of the When Jeff came to, he was tied to a chair in the problem. They each took knives, and walkie talkies. basement. The place reeked of horrible smells. Mr. They said good-bye to their father, and kissed their Palmer walked up to him, with a large knife in his grandmother on the way out. hand. Jeff screamed and tried to free himself, but only tired himself out. He looked up in horror at Mr. The two boys decided to split up. One would go by the Palmer, and asked him why he was doing this, and site of the murder, and the other would wander the why now. Palmer answered that last night, he would streets. If one was attacked they could use their walkie have been nervous, full of fear, and ready for any talkie to contact the other. So they set off, keeping a attack Palmer would do. No, that wasn't the right close eye on the shadows. Nothing seemed to be time, everyone expects attacks at night. But during g happening. It was a calm night, and it seemed like they the morning...people are more relaxed and the fear is would get home safely. But then suddenly John heard a low, making them blind to any chance of harm. Jeff crackling in the bushes behind him. He tried to call his asked him again, why was he doing this, what was he brother, but it was too late. The figure leaped out of going to do with him and said someone, like the the bushes and tackled him, gouging his chest with its garage people, would find out what happened. Mr. nails. Luckily Jacob heard the commotion, and rushed Palmer said that mishaps happen on highways at to help him. He leaped through the air and cut off the night, mainly during storms, so hardly anyone would creatures right hand. The creature screamed and ran. even think twice as to why he was gone. If anyone actually did start asking questions...Palmer said he Jacob took John to the hospital, and they bandaged him had ways to discourage that kind of activity...As for home. The doctors called them heroes, and finally they why he was doing this, Palmer simply said that Jeff got home at 6 that morning. Only their grandmother need not worry about that, in fact, he need not worry was up, so they said good morning, then went back to about anything anymore...Jeff looked into Palmer's bed. Neither of them noticed she was missing her hand. eyes as he walked towards him, eyes were completely black, and tried to scream...

23. Girl at the Underpass was no sound anywhere. After a third knock, through the side panes a dim light appeared from the pitch- Not long ago, but before interstate highways ran black hallway. Finally the door was opened by a white- around towns and cities, a young man left Greensboro haired woman in a night robe. late one night to drive to his old home in Lexington. At that time, just east of Jamestown, the old road "I brought a girl to this house," he explained, "but now I dipped through a tunnel under the train tracks. The can't find her. Have you seen her? I picked her up out young man knew the road well, but it was a thick on the highway." foggy night in early summer and he drove cautiously, especially when he neared the Jamestown underpass. "Where?" Many wrecks had taken place at that spot. He slowed down on the curve leading to the tunnel and was "At the Jamestown underpass. She told me she had halfway through it when his eyes almost popped out been to a dance and was on her way home." of his head. Standing on the roadside just beyond the underpass was an indistinct white figure with arm "Yes, I know," said the woman wearily. "that was my raised in a gesture of distress. The young man quickly daughter. She was killed in a wreck at that tunnel five slammed on his brakes and came to a stop beside the years ago tonight. And every year since, on this very figure. night, she signals a young man like you to pick her up. She is still trying to get home." It was a girl, young, beautiful, resplendent in a long white evening dress. Her troubled eyes were glaring The young man turned from the doorway, speechless. straight toward him. Obviously she was in need. He The dim light in the house went out. He drove on to jumped from the car and ran around to where she Lexington, but never has he forgotten, nor will he ever stood motionless. "Can I help you?" forget, the beautiful hitchhiker and how she vanished into the night. "yes." Her voice was low, stranger. I want to go home. I live in High Point." 24. On Washington Rock He opened the door, and she got in. As they drove off, he said, "I'm glad I came by. I didn't expect to find The dream was so vivid, she didn't realize at first anyone like you on the road so late at night." that it was a dream. The party was crowded, the guests cheerful, the food delicious. Then a rumor began to "I was at a dance." She spoke in a monotone. "My circulate among the guests. The Devil was coming to date and I had a quarrel. It was very bad. I made him the party. The Devil was on the way. drop me back there." She didn't pay much attention at first. Until a hush He tried to continue the conversation, but she would came over the crowd. Turning to see what it was, she say nothing more until they were into High Point. saw a tall, handsome blond man standing in the "Turn at the next left," she said. "I live three doors on doorway greeting his hostess. Around her, the murmurs the right." He parked before a darkened house, got began. It was the Devil. He had come. out of the car and went around to open the door for her. There was no one there! He looked into the back She watched out of the corner of her eye as the Devil seat. No one! He thought she might have rushed up made the rounds of the room. He looked so ordinary, it the sidewalk and out of sight. was hard to believe he was the Devil. Then he came to her group. As soon as he joined them, she knew the Confused and undecided about what to do next, he rumor was true. This was not someone to be trifled thought it only reasonable to find out if she had with. Frightened, she grabbed for a Bible her hostess entered the house. He went up the steps and knocked had left lying on a nearby end-table and threw it at the on the door. No one came. He knocked again. There Devil. For a moment, their eyes locked. The Devil's eyes 59 were full of ferocious anger, terrible evil, and Suddenly, the engine gave a strange cough. Her father malevolent malice directed right at her. She thought gunned the motor, once, twice in a silent, desperate she was dead. battle to keep moving. She gripped her hands together, praying silently as she stared at the figure opposite Then she woke, and lay trembling in her bed with the their car. The engine caught again and her father light on until dawn. pressed down hard on the accelerator. Then they were past the man and roaring away from the park and The next morning was the end of term. Her parents towards the downward slope of the mountain. and younger sister helped her clear out her dorm room and packed the car. It was dusk before they She was sweating profusely, unable to stop shaking. settled into their seats for the two-hour drive home. She looked back out the window at the man in the They talked excitedly as they drove towards their park, and saw the motorcycle come roaring at last to home in New Jersey, interrupting each other often, the top of the hill. It drove half-way around the C-bend contradicting themselves and laughing. It was good to and as it drew opposite the figure in the cart, she heard be together again. the engine of the motorcycle cough. And then stall.

They were fifteen minutes from home when they left And then the park was out of view and they were riding the highway. Her father turned onto Washington Rock silently towards home, not daring to speak until they Road that led up the mountain, through the C-bend were safely indoors. around the Washington Rock State Park and then down the other side of the mountain. As they drove She often wondered what happened to the man on the up the steep hill, a noisy motorcycle tail-gated them, motorcycle. trying to pass even though the road was windy and narrow. Finally the hill grew so steep that the driver was forced to slow down and eventually, they pulled 25. La Mala Hora away from him entirely. My friend Isabela called me one evening before dinner. The car reached the top of the hill and started around She was sobbing as she told me that she and her the long C curve that took them through one end of husband Enrique were getting divorced. He had moved the park. The park was dark and still. The whole family out of the house earlier that day and Isabela was automatically looked to their right, out over the distraught. gorgeous view of the New York City skyline. They all saw the small park cart, sitting next to the road just I called my husband, who was on a business trip in inside the park boundary. It was parked directly Chicago, and he agreed that I should go stay with underneath the only streetlight, where you couldn't Isabela for a few days to help her during this difficult fail to see it. And inside the vehicle.... time. I packed a small suitcase and got right into the car. It was late, and it would take me at least four hours She started trembling fiercely. Inside the vehicle was to drive from my home to Sante Fe. Isabela was a tall, handsome blond man with eyes full of ferocious expecting me to arrive around midnight. anger, terrible evil, and malevolent malice. It was the man from her dream. The man everyone said was the As I traveled down the dark, wet highway, I kept feeling Devil! chills, as if someone or something were watching me. I kept looking in the rear view mirror, and glancing into The tension in the car was palpable. She had the back seat. No one was there. Don't be ridiculous, I mentioned her dream to no one. But her parents and told myself, wishing fervently that I was home in my her sister all felt the evil pulsing from the still figure in bed instead of driving on a dark, rainy highway. There the cart. No one spoke as they drove past the man. was almost no traffic, and I heartily wished that I would soon reach Sante Fe.

I turned off the highway just before I reached the city, "This is bad, Jane. Very bad," Isabela cried. "La Malhora and started down the side roads that led to Isabela's only appears at a crossroads when someone is going to house. As I approached a small crossroads, I saw a die." woman step into the street directly in front of my car. I shrieked in fright and slammed on my brakes, Ordinarily, I would have laughed at such a superstition, praying I would miss her. but the appearance of the demon-woman had shaken me. Isabela got me a cup of hot cocoa, brought my The car shuddered to a halt, and I looked frantically luggage in from the car, and sent me to bed. She was so around for the woman. Then I saw her, right beside concerned for me that she didn't once mention the my window, looking in at me. She had the face of a divorce or Enrique. demon, twisted, eyes glowing red, and short pointed teeth. I screamed as she leapt at my window, her I felt much better the next morning, but I could not clawed hands striking the glass. I put my foot down on shake the feeling of dread that grew within me all day. the accelerator and the car leapt forward. For a few Neither of us mentioned La Malhora, but we were both terrible moments, she ran along side the car, keeping thinking of her when I told Isabela that I wanted to go up easily and striking at me again and again. Then she home. Isabela insisted on accompanying me. I flatly fell behind and in the rear view mirror I saw her refused to drive after dark. I was afraid I would see the growing taller and taller, until she was as large as a demon-woman again when I passed the crossroads. tree. Red light swirled around her like mist, and she pointed after me, her mouth moving though I could We left the next morning, and we hadn't been home not make out the words. I jerked my attention back to more than twenty minutes when a police car pulled the road, afraid what might happen to me if my car into my driveway. I knew at once what it meant, and so ran off the street. did Isabella.

I made it to Isabela's house in record time and flung The officers spoke very gently to me, but nothing could myself out of the car, pounding on her door frantically soften the news. My husband had been mugged on the and looking behind me to see if the demon-faced way back to his hotel after dinner last night. His body woman had followed me. Isabela came running to the had not been found until this morning. He had been door and let me in. shot in the head and was killed instantly.

"Shut the door! Shut it!" I cried frantically, brushing 26. Abiyoyo past her into the safety of the house. Once upon a time, there was a beautiful little village in "Jane, what is wrong?" she asked, slamming the door the mountains. It had beautiful little houses with shut. She grabbed my hand and led me into the living beautiful little picket fences, and beautiful little people room. I sank onto the couch and started sobbing in who lived in them. Most of the time, the people had fear and reaction. After several minutes, I managed to peaceful, calm lives. gasp out my story. Isabela gasped and said: "Are you sure you were at a crossroads when you saw her?" There was one thing that disrupted the lives of the villagers -- the giant Abiyoyo. Abiyoyo was a terrible I nodded, puzzled by her question. ugly giant. He was so dirty he had toadstools growing out of his ears and his nose, and there was a forest "It must have been La malhora," Isabela said, wringing growing under his fingernails. He was so smelly his her hands. stink went a mile around him in every direction. With one burp, he could knock down a house. With one fart, "The bad hour?" I asked. he could level a whole farm.

Abiyoyo had no friends, and he was always angry. He spent all his time storming through the countryside and 61 villages yelling: I AM ABIYOYO! I AM ABIYOYO!, and happening. This time, they joined in on the song, and causing destruction everywhere he went. the son started to dance:

One day in the beautiful little village, the villagers Abiyoyo, Abiyoyo, Abiyoyo, Abiyoyo, Abiyoyo, Abiyoyo, started to smell something terrible, and they knew Abiyoyo, Abiyo. Abiyoyo was about a mile away, so they rushed to get everyone inside their houses. They started hearing in Then the most amazing thing happened -- Abiyoyo the distance "I am Abiyoyo! I am Abiyoyo!," and they himself started to sing and dance along with the son. started barring up their windows and doors to protect And when he danced, the toadstools fell out from his everyone as the giant came through town. ears and his nose. The dirt under his fingernails fell out. He even stopped smelling so terrible. And Except for two people, who had no house. There was everyone came out of their houses to dance with the a man and his son who had just arrived in the village. musicians and Abiyoyo: They were musicians, and travelled the country playing for their food and sleeping wherever they Abiyoyo, Abiyoyo, Abiyoyo, Abiyoyo, Abiyoyo, Abiyoyo, could. The man played the violin, and the boy sang Abiyoyo, Abiyo. and danced. Because they were from far away, they didn't know what the smell and the shouting meant They danced all the way out of the village together. so they hadn't had a chance to run inside anyone's Now that beautiful little village still exists, far away in house, and were left alone in the street when Abiyoyo the mountains. There are still beautiful little houses, came into the village. with beautiful little fences, and there are beautiful little people living in them. The people still have peaceful, Abiyoyo stormed into town yelling I AM ABIYOYO! I calm lives. They're not afraid of any giants anymore - AM ABIYOYO! and started ripping up the beautiful and sometimes off in the distance, you can hear a hint little fences, and banging on the roofs of the beautiful of a song on the breeze: little houses. He started burping and farting and ruining the farmer's fields. Abiyoyo, Abiyoyo, Abiyoyo, Abiyoyo, Abiyoyo, Abiyoyo, Abiyoyo, Abiyo. The man and his son watched in fear until Abiyoyo turned around and looked straight at them. They were very afraid, and didn't know what to do. Then 27. Akki Takki Tonga the man took out his violin, and because he couldn't think of anything else to do, he started to play. The story is of Nanook who travels by Kayak (very tippy) Abiyoyo looked confused - he had never heard music to go on his quest for manhood by hunting the great before. Then, the son started to sing, and he sang the white polar bear. He must enter the Kayak very first thing that came into his head: carefully (the more you ham it up, the better the punch line at the end). Abiyoyo, Abiyoyo, Abiyoyo, Abiyoyo, Abiyoyo, Abiyoyo, To paddle the kayak, you cross your arms in the shape Abiyoyo, Abiyo. of the paddles and sing the chant:

Abiyoyo had completely stopped his rampage to Akki-takki-tonga, akki-takki-tonga watch the two musicians. So this time, the son sang Aye-ipsi-day-ispsi-day louder: Akki-takki-tonga, akki-takki-tonga Aye-ipsi-day-ispsi-day Abiyoyo, Abiyoyo, Abiyoyo, Abiyoyo, Abiyoyo, Abiyoyo, Abiyoyo, Abiyo. You can do as many of these as you feel neccessary to get to the iceburg with the bear. When looking for the The villagers had been listening in their houses, and bear, balance becomes paramount and the overhanded started coming to the windows to see what was and twist is required. (Keep track as it's a two way trip). 62

Epsi-cola-minniwanka Epsi-cola-minniwanka

Once the bear is located, the rifle must be placed over the bow of the kayak, emphasis played continually to balance. Depending on your crowd, you may wish to explain that the ways of the north dictate that the village will use all parts of this bear and only the very old are chosen for the hunt.

Pulling the bear onto the kayak may also be exaggerated with one two handed heave for the front. Then a single handed pull combined with a nose pinch for the hind quarters.

Travelling back to the village will require the very same "akki-takki's" as it did to get there (the kids will have been counting, take my word on that one).

Just before your last paddle for shore, have the group give a big wave to their family on the shore.

Last akki-takki will be performed with a swimming motion instead of the paddling.

Tenderfoot! Second Class! First Class Scout.

CAMPFIRE CHEERS Broken Arm: Stick arm out in front of you with the lower arm and hand dangling. Swing lower arm and hand back and forth in a limp manner. Alka Seltzer: Plot, Plop, Fizz, Fizz, Oh what a relief it is.

Broken Trolley: Pull the bell rope as if ringing a bell, repeating Apollo: Shout: Countdown, 10 – 2 !! BLASTOFF! Then with your “CLUNK, CLUNK, CLUNK.” hand gain orbit and even out. Then say, “BEEP, BEEP, BEEP,

BEEP.” Bull: Make bull horns with fingers while shouting “El Toro, El Toro!”

Archery: Mimic shooting an arrow, then call out, “Bull’s Eye!” Call the Hogs: SOOOOOOO EEEEEEE, SOOOOOOO,

EEEEEEE!!!!!!! PIP, PIG, PIG PIG!!! Artillery: Begin slowly with the flats of your palms and increase in speed: then slow down until finally the last time the hands are not brought together. Canada (Scouts): C-A-N-A-D-A- Scooooooouts Canada!!

Barber Shop: Make a razor sharp motion on the palm of your left Can of Applause: Cheer and applaud as cover is removed from can hand with your right hand, turning your right over with each stroke. and become quite as lid is replaced. Don’t forget the barber’s flourishes. Carpenter: Pretend to be holding a hammer in one hand and a nail Bear: Growl like a bear four times, turning halfway around each in the other. Start pounding the nail with the hammer while saying, time. “Band, Bang, Ouch.”

Bee: Put arms straight out and pretend to fly, while going “Buzz-z- Cat’s Meow: You’re the cats MeeeeOOOOW!!! z-z, Buzz-z-z-z.” Centipede: Group stands and yells: Ninety-nine THUMP!! Ninety- Big Hand: Leader says, “let’s give them a big hand”. Everybody in nine THMP!! Ninety-nine THMP!! This wooden leg is murder!!! the audience holds up one of their hands with the palm up. Cheerio: Cheerio-Cheerio-Cheerio. Big Sneeze: Cup hands in front of nose and sneeze in hands. Having nowhere to put it, wipe your hands in your hair. Christmas Bells: Pretend to hold a bell rope, then get the left side of the audience to say “DING” on the down stroke and the other side Big thumb: Hold out a hand at arms length; make a fist with the of the audience to say “DONG” on the upstroke. Repeat three times. thumb up. Variation: Add, “GREAT JOB!!” *** Class A: Clap rapidly in the following rhythm: 1-2-3-4, 1-2, 1-2-3- Black Powder: Pretend to have black powder in your hand. Pour 4, 1-2, 1-2, 1-2-3-4…(pause)… One big clap. powder down the barrel. Stamp it down, raise the gun and fire saying, “Click, BANG!!” *** Cookie Clap (Crummy): Everyone takes a big bowl in their arms. In bowl, dump ingredients to make cookies, such as flour, sugar, salt, chocolate chips and dill pickles (have the boys tell out *** Blast-off: Start counting backwards from 6 to 1. Bend the the ingredients and you’ll get some odd cookies). After the knees a little more on each count until you are in a squatting ingredients are in the bowl, you take a big spoon and with stirring position. Then, while saying, “BLAST OFF!”, just straighten up in motion yell “Crummy, Crummy, Crummy”. the air.

*** Corny: Hold out hands as though holding a corn on the cob – eat Bow and Arrow: Make motion as if shooting an arrow and say, the corn quickly and say: “Corny, Corny Corny …” “Zing, Zing, Zing.” Pretend to release an arrow with each zing. Variation: Slowly draw arrow from quiver on your back. Place arrow against string of bow, pull back, release and say “pffft.” Cork: Hold out one hand as though holding the neck of a bottle. Put a cork in the bottle, then hit it in with the palm of your hand. Cub Scout: Rip, Rap, Rap! Rip Rap, Ree! Loyal Happy Cub Scouts are We! Cow: Pretend to milk cow saying: “Squirt, squirt, squirt, mooo.”

*** British Rank: Be Prepared! Be Prepared! Shout! Shout! Shout! Cow Yell: MOOOOO!!! MOOOOO!!! MOOOOO!!!

Crab: Have the group stand. Have them pretend to be on a boat, Flintstone: Shake hands over the head and say, “Yabba-dabba- by swaying back and forth, and from side to side, have them grab doo”. hold of a rope as if they are hauling in their trap, have then grab the trap box and say: “THIS IS THE BIGGEST KING CRAB I (The) Fonz: Make a fist thumbs pointing up with each hand in front HAVE EVER SEEN!!!” of you and say “Aaaaaaaayyyy”.

*** Coyote: Have everyone stand, cup their hands around their Fruit Salad: Eat a large piece of pretend watermelon, spit out the mouth and say: “YIP, YIP, YIPEEEE!!!!” seeds, pretend to have a piece of cantaloupe, spit out the seeds, then have a cherry, place a finger in your cheek and give one small Deep Sea Diver: Pretend to put on your diving suit, adjust your pop as if spitting out the pit of the cherry. helmet, pretend to close face door, and screw the locks in place. Then pretend to jump into the water by jumping one step ahead, Ghost: Wave hands like a ghost and say: “SHOOOO, WHOO, pretend to be sinking to the ocean floor, mumbling, “BLUG, BLUG, WHOOOOOOOO!!” Variation: Wail, “BOO! BOO! BOO!” three times BLUG!!!” and then yell: “YAHHH!!”

Desert Rat: Clutch throat and say: “HOW, HOW, HOW, WATER, Giant Beehive: Tell the group to buzz like a bee. When your hand is WATER, GLUG, GLUG, GLUG.” Wipe your mouth and say raised, the volume should increase. When you lower your hand the “AHHHHhhhhh, I sure feel and look better.!!!” volume should decrease. Practice at various levels.

Dip Stick: Pretend to get under the hood of your car, find the dip ***Golf: Shout “FORE” and pretend to hit the ball, place hand over stick, pull it out, and say, “YOU SHURE COULD USE AN OIL above eyes to follow where the ball went. Variation: Add: Duck and CHANGE” and pretend to put it back, close the hood with a cover your eyes saying: “OH NO! I HIT SOMEONE!!” SLAM!!! Gondolier: Make a motion as if polling a boat, singing out: “O, SOLE Dreamer: Pretend to snore and wake up. Stretch and say: “WOW, MIO”. that was a Great Dream !!!” Good Turn: Stand up and turn around. *** Drum: On legs make a rat-a-tat sound 3 or 4 times, then hit the stomach two times and say “Boom, Boom”. Grand Howl: “HOW! HOW! HOO-O-OO-OOW!”

Elephant: Let arm act as a trunk, wave it brokenly in front of your Grand Sneeze: “A-h-h-h Chooooo!” three times, each time getting face. Raise your forearm up and down and say, “Peanuts, peanuts louder. anyone?” *** Grand: Everyone is sitting down in their chairs. All stomp their Eskimo: “Brrrrr-rr, Brrrrr-rr”. feet three times loudly, then slap leg three times, then clap three times. Then stand up all together and shout “Ra, Ra, Ra!” Ferris Wheel: Move right arm in a large circle, on the upswing say: “OHHHHH!” On the downswing say: “AHHHHH!” Grape Juice: Everyone stomps around as if stomping grapes, then reach down with one hand dipping with a glass and drinking it, Firecracker: Strike a match on the leg, light the firecracker, make saying, “AAAAAhhhhh.” noise like fuse “ssss”, then yell loudly “BANG!!” Guillotine: Pretend to wind a crank pulling the blade up, tie it off, *** Fire Engine: Divide the group into four sections: (1) Rings the take an imaginary axe and cut the rope. Knife your hand down like a bell fast, “DING”; (2) Honks the horn, “HONK, HONK, HONK”; (3) blade, saying “Slooosh”. Then roll one hand over the other while Sounds the siren, “Rrrr, Rrrr, Rrrr”; (4) Clangs the clanger, saying, “Thud, flop, flop, flop.” “CLANG, CLANG, CLANG”. Have all four groups do their parts together. Half A Hand: Hold up one hand with the palm open, with the other hand, cover the open hand so only half shows. Variation: Add a Fisherman: Pretend to reel out some line, let it drift, yank your phrase such as “You are handy to have around.” pretend pole back and start to reel in the fish. Struggle with it for a short time and say: “I’VE GOT IT!!! I’VE GOT IT!!!” Helper: Group stand and cheers, “Great job! Great JOB! GREAT JOB!” getting louder each time. Flat Tire: Bend down, attach pump to tire, lift and push on pump three times, then say, “BOOM!” and jump back in surprise. Hamburger: Make a hamburger patty by clapping hands turning left

65 hand on top, then left hand on the bottom. Mexican Hat Dance: Put hands on feet and stamp feet while turning Hangman: Put your hand behind your neck like you are holding a around in a circle. hangman’s noose, then roll eyes and stick out your tongue. Moose: Place open hands by ears to form antlers and call Heart And Sole: Slap heart and sole of shoe. “OOOOO-AAA-OOOO.”

Home Run: Simulate swinging a bat, then shade your eyes with Mosquito: With hand, slap yourself on the neck, arms, legs, while your hands and yell “Thar she goes.” saying “Oooo, Aaaah.” This can also be done by taking one finger and moving it around in the air as a mosquito flying (making a *** Hot Dog And Mustard: Get your hot dog and put it in a bun. buzzing sound at the same time), letting it land on your arm, Pick up the mustard bottle and squeeze some mustard on the hot slapping at it, and then shaking off the dead mosquito. dog, then take a big bite and say, “Yummmmmmmmmm!” Motorcycle: Lift up the left foot and slam it down starting the engine Howdy: “HOOOOOW DDD DEEEE!!!” with your hands, pretending to hold handlebars and saying “V-V-r-a- a-a-a-m-m-m-m.”

*** Howdy Pardner “HOOOOOW DDD DEEE PARRRDNER!!!!” Mountain Climbers: Pretend climbing on mountain. A rock slips off.

Put your hand over your eyes, look down and yell “Look OUT *** Indiana Jones: Swing hand and arm back and then forward BELOW!” simulating the snapping of a whip. “Snakes, it would have to be snakes.” Mount Saint Helen’s: Make fists out of both hands and put them

together. Make the sound of steam building “ssssSSSS,” the sound Invention: “I’ve made it, I’ve made it. I don’t know what it is, but builds; then when the mountain erupts yell “POP” as hands and I’ve made if.” arms extend over the head.

Javelin: Hold hand as if close over a javelin, raise arm above Nail Pounding: Start the nail, drive it in, and hit the thumb yelling, shoulder and pretend to throw the javelin forward, wait a couple of “OOO-UUU-CCC-HHH!” seconds and say “Thud.”

A Nickel’s Worth: Flip your thumb as though flipping a coin, then Jaws (Shark): Chomp, Chomp, Chomp. catch it and slap it on the back of your hand.

Jaws (version 2): Hold arms to cover face (hands holding elbows) yell “AAAAAAH, HELP!” Oggy Oggy Oggy: Oggy Oggy Oggy, Oi, Oi, Oi, Oggy, Oi, Oggy, Oi, Oggy, Oggy, Oggy, Oi, Oi, Oi! Jet Clap: Swish your hand across the front of you like a jet and clap your hands twice, real fast to simulate the sonic boom. Olympics: Join hands, raise them over head and shout, “Go for the Gold!” *** Jolly Green Giant: HO, HO, HO. GREEEEN GIANT Oil Well: Yell “CRUDE, CRUDE, CRUDE.” Knight: Kneel and place your right hand on your left shoulder, then on your right shoulder, while saying – “I dub thee Sir Knight.” *** Pack I: Everyone yell together, “Clap your hands,” then clap hands together two times. Then yell “Stomp your feet,” then stomp feet three times on the floor. Then say, “PACK(TROOP)____ can’t Lightening: With one hand draw a zigzag in the air in front of you be beat.” saying, “ZAP, ZAP, ZAP.”

Pack II: “Razzle, dazzle, never frazzle, not a thread but wool. Al *** Livewire: Grab onto a live electrical wire and shake the whole together, all together, that’s the way we pull.” body.

Lumberjack: Pretend to be chopping a tree then shout “Chop, Chop, Chop, TIMMMMMBERRRRR!” Pancake: Pretend to be holding a frying pan and a spatula in your hands. Pretend to put the spatula under the pancake and flip the

pancake into the air. Look into the air as though watching the Mad Doctor: “Scalpel, sponge, sponge, sponge, oops.” pancake flip in the air. Catch the pancake with the spatula, and flip it on your hand making a loud “Clap.” Mad Scientist: Pretend to hold a test tube in one hand. Pour something into it; then something else, then shout “Boooommmm!” 66

Paper Bag: Make motions to simulate opening a paper bag, “Whoa!” (pulling up on reins), get out of the sleigh, pretend to climb forming neck, blowing it up and pop it saying “POP” loudly. into the chimney, begin to slide down and struggle, say: “Wheeze, grunt, rattle, clank, oh no,” move hands as if falling trying to grasp Party: Throw hands in the air and say, “Confetti, Confetti, the sides of the chimney, then yell: “Craaaasssshhhh” and put your Confetti.” finger to your mouth and say: “Shhhhhhhhhh!”

Pat on the Back: Everyone pat the back of the left shoulder with Satellite: Put your right hand over your head, making a circular their right hand. motion with the right hand, opening and closing the right fist, while saying: “Gleep, Gleep, Gleep.” Variation: Begin with a countdown from 120, at zero, yell: “BLASTOFF!” stretch arm over head saying Personal: Stomp feet three times and shout personal name. “Gleep, Gleep, Gleep” and turn around three times.

Pinata: Pretend to hit piñata, say “Swoosh” (miss), “Swoosh” (miss), “Swoosh” (hit) “HOORARY” Saw: Pretend to get a piece of lumber, measure it, pretend to draw a line, place pencil behind the ear, pick up your pretend saw and begin

to saw holding your lumber with one hand and sawing with the other, *** Pirate: “Yo, ho, ho, and a bottle of Sprite.” Variation: “Avast Ye while making your best sawing impression. land lubbers! Walk that plant! Glub, Glub, Glub.” Variation 2: “Hoist the Jolly Roger! We’re off to find the treasure! Yo Ho Ho!!” *** Seal of Approval: Put your thumbs in your armpits, then move

arms up and down like a seal moving it’s flippers and say: “Arf, Arf, Pole Vault: Stand two fingers of one hand on the other arm like Arf” several times. Variation: Pretend you are balancing a ball on the legs. Have them run down the arm to the wrist and then leap into end of your nose. the air, as the hand comes down, CLAP!

Siesta: Remain seated and pull an imaginary sombrero over face *** Popeye: First group yells, “Where’s my spinach! Where’s my while snoring loudly. spinach!” 2nd group yells “Toot, toot! You’re Popeye the sailor man!

Here’s your spinach!” 1st group: “Well, blow me down, I love my spinach! Toot, toot!” Silent: Raise both fists to level with hand and shout without any sound while shaking both fists. Or else have everyone stand in Race Car: Say “Varoooom” five times starting quietly and unison and open their mouths and scream without making any increasing in loudness each time while shifting gears with the right sound. hand. *** Six Shooter: Point finger in the air and say “BANG” six times, *** Rainstorm: To simulate rain, have everyone pat one finger of then blow smoke from the end of the gun. the left hand and one finger of the right hand. Gradually increase the intensity of the storm by increasing the fingers hitting together. Sky Rocket: Make a motion of striking a match on your pants, lean Decrease the number of fingers as the storm passes. over to light your rocket. Make a “SH, SH, SH” sound, point from the floor to the sky as if you were following it in flight with your finger. *** Relay: First person in row claps next person’s hand and so on Clap hands and say “BOOM”, spread arms wide and say down to the end of the row. “AH___AH___AH.”

Road Runner: “Beep-Beep-Zoom.” Stamp of Approval: Pound the palm of your left hand rapidly with your right fist. For another version, throw a handkerchief or cap in

the air, have the youth stamp their feet until the cap hits the floor. Robot: Walk stiff legged with arms in place saying in a monotone voice “DOES NOT COMPUTE, DOES NOT COMPUTE!” Steamboat: Use both hands to make large rotary motion as if they

were paddle wheels. At the same time say, “Chug-achug-chug.” *** Rooster: Placing your thumbs in your armpits, wave the arms Then reach up with the right hand and pull down saying “Toot, Toot.” up and down while crowing.

*** Superscout: “Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than Round of Applause: While clapping hands, move them in a circle a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. It’s in front of you. Superscout!”

*** Santa Claus: Reach out and hold stomach saying loudly “HO, Swimmer’s Belly: Put both hands out in front of you and slap your HO, HO” three times. Variation: Add “MERRY CHRISTMAS!” hands together once. Look both ways and say “Where’s the water, where’s the water.” Santa Claus Chimney: Pretend to be driving your sleigh, say 67

Swine: “Suueeee, Pig! Pig! Pig!”

Sword: Pretend to have a sword in your hand. Swing it across the body three times saying: “Swish, Swish, Swish.”

*** Three Strikes: Turn head to the side sharply while saying “Strike!” Do these three times and end with, “You’re out!”

Tiger: Shout “Grrrreat!” Thrust fist upward Tony Tiger style.

Tightrope Walker: Have your arms out as if balancing on a tightrope. Lean to one side and say “Aaaiiiii” as you simulate falling.

*** Tortilla: Slap both hands together, alternating one hand and the other from top to bottom. On every fourth clap, shout “OLE!”

Toucan: Hold hands in front of mouth, simulating a bird opening its beak, several times while saying “TOUCAN, TOUCAN, TOUCAN! A CUB CAN TOO!!!”

*** Train: Divide audience into groups to make different train sounds, getting faster and faster until a bell rings.

Trumpet: “da-da-da-da-dada-da-da-CHARGE!”

*** Turkey: Say “Gobble, gobble, gobble” then rubs stomach saying “Yum, yum.”

Two-Handed Saw: Everyone pairs off into two’s. Each pair sticks their hands out with their thumbs up. Alternately grab each other’s thumbs until all four hands are each holding a thumb. Move arms and hands back and forth as if sawing.

Viking: “Attack! Attack! Attack! Retreat! Retreat! Retreat! Retreat!”

Watermelon: Hold a piece of watermelon in both hands, make the motions of taking several bites, turn head ad spit out the seeds.

Weightlifter: Attempt to lift barbell and say “AAAaagh!” as you get the weight up above the head, and then drop it to the floor saying, “THUD!”

Witch: Say in witchy voice: “Heee, Heee, Heee.”

Wolf: “Wolf, wolf, wolf,” then give wolf howl.

Yodelers: Cup hands around mouth saying “Yodel, ley, lee, who.”

SCOUT CAMP GRACES 5. Addams Family

1. Alphabet Grace We thank you Lord for giving, The food we need for living A-B-C-D-E-F-G Because we really need it, and we like it too! Thank you, God, for feeding me. Drink and bread and meat I see, Thank you, God, for feeding me. 6. Edelweiss With the land and grass and tree, Thank you, God, for feeding me. Thank you Lord, on this day For our many good blessings. 2. Johnny Appleseed Thank you Lord, on this day For our many close friendships. Oh the Lord is good to me, and so I thank the Lord, For giving me the things I need, Glory to God, may you hear our prayers, The sun and the rain and the apple seed, Guide us on forever, The Lord is good to me. Thank you Lord, on this day For our blessings and friendships. For every seed I sow, an apple tree will grow, And there will be apples there Enough for the whole wide world to share, 7. Zipadee do da The Lord is good to me Johnny Appleseed Amen. Zipadee do da, Zipadee ay, I am grateful for God's blessings today. 3. Superman I've plenty to eat, to drink and to share, I sit at God's table with friends everywhere. Thank you Lord, for giving us food Thank you Lord, for giving us food For the food we eat, for the friends we meet, 8. We Will Rock You Thank you Lord for giving us food. Heavenly Father, Lord and King, You provide us with everything. 4. Flintstones We've got Food on our plate, Tastin' great. God is Thanks for the food we already ate. Great and God is Singing thank you, Father, thank you! Good and so we thank Him for our food. Thank you, Father, thank you! God is Great and God is Good and so we thank Him for our food. Amen, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-amen. Amen, ah-ah-ah-ah-ah-amen. God is Great and God is Good and so we thank Him for our - We thank Him for our - We thank Him for our food!

I stomp my feet, I move it to the beat, I turn around, SCOUT TABLE GAMES and I shake it to the ground (with actions) Receiver: Hey (name of next person), show us how to 1. Telephone Game get down!

Caller: Hey “Mark – name of person” Repeat by moving around the room. Person who gets Receiver: I think I hear my name down gets to pick the next person. Caller: Hey Mark Receiver: I think I hear it again ALL: You’re wanted on the telephone 4. Table Game Receiver: If it’s not “Wendy – name of person”, I’m not home One table starts by banging fists on table, calling “We are table #1, #1, #1, we are table #1, where is number Repeat by calling next person 2?”

First table to respond becomes table 2 and asks for 2. Duck Game table 3 and so on.

Inspiration for a question game required an increasing number of people. You are asked the opening 5. Llama Mama question and answer with the set response. At the end, turn to someone else (anyone from a complete Llama Mama is a common American circle game sort of stranger to someone's who's standing there waiting like "Want to Buy a Duck" but more complex. It's to join) and ask the opening question. Results in a commonly played within middle schoolers. long chain of people passing responses or question Person 1: What's your mama? from the original person to the most recent participant. P2: I've got a llama mama.

Caller: Hey (name of person) wanna buy a duck? P3: You're mama's a mama? Receiver: A what? Caller: A duck! P4: No, a llama! Receiver: Does it quack? Caller: Of course it quacks. It’s a duck! P1: I want a llama! Receiver: Just a second. Hey (name of next person) wanna buy a duck? P2: No! You can't have my mama, with all that drama!

Repeat the game as a chain so that each person asking a question goes all the way back to the person 6. Strong & Able who initiated the game. When a person sees another person with their elbows on the table they callout: 3. Show us how to get down! [name] [name] strong and able Caller: Hey (name of person), show us how to get this is not a horses stable down! take your elbows off the table Receiver: No way! ALL: Show us how to get down! At which they have to run around the dining room (1 Receiver: okay lap) punishment.

SCOUT VESPERS Surely, surely, surely, surely That's the Cubbing way.

1. Chil the Kite

Now Chil the Kite Brings home the night That Mang the Bat sets free. 5. Cub Scout Vesper Song

The herds are shut (Tune: O Christmas Tree): In byre and hut For loose till dawn are we. Softly falls the light of day, as our campfire fades away, Silently each Beaver asks, have I done my daily tasks? This is the hour Did I give the world my care, remembering to smile and Of pride and power share? Of talon and tusk and claw. Beavers turn to God in prayer, knowing He will always care. Oh! Hear the call! Good Hunting all Softly falls the light of day, as our campfire fades away, That keep the Jungle Law. Silently each Cub shall ask, have I done my daily tasks? Have I kept my Cub laws too, taught to me by Old Baloo? 2. Family Cub Vesper Have I tried to do my best? God grant me a quiet rest. (tune: O Christmas Tree) Softly falls the light of day, as our campfire fades away, Quietly we join as one, Silently each Scout shall ask, have I done my daily Thanking God for family fun. tasks? May we now go on our way, Have I kept my honour bright? Can I guiltless sleep Thankful for another day. tonight? May we always love and share, Have I done and have I dared, everything to be Live in peace beyond compare. prepared? As a family may we find, Friendships true with all mankind. Softly falls the light of day, as our campfire fades away, -Nashua Valley/Pioneer Valley Pow Wow 1996 Silently each Venturer asks, have I done my daily tasks? Have I kept my challenge true? Side by side, we’ll see it 3. Cub Scout Prayer (I) through, (tune: O Tannenbaum) Have I turned to God today? Let Him help show us the way. Lord, in this evening hour I pray, For strength to do my best each day. Softly falls the light of day, as our campfire fades away, Draw near to me that I may see, Silently each Rover asks, have I done my daily tasks? The kind of Cub that I should be. Have I served my fellow man, guided by our Founder’s hand? In serving other, let me see, Rovers try to do their best; God will help them with the That I am only serving Thee. rest. Bless me, Oh Lord, in Thy great love, That I may be a better Cub. Softly falls the light of day, as our campfire fades away, Silently each Leader asks, have I done my daily tasks? Have I given my very best, to the youth about to rest? 4. Do Your Best (DYB) Leaders keep the Scouting Spirit, with help of the Holy Tune: Row, Row, Row Your Boat) Spirit.

Do, do, do your best Do it every day!

6. Cub Flashlight (Tune: By the Light of the Slivery Moon)

By the light Of my Cub Scout flashlight Wish I could see What it was that just bit my knee

Batteries Keep a'shinin' for me The chance is slim The chance is slight I can last through the night With my Cub Scout flashlight

7. Cub Scout Prayer (II)

Thank you for a night of good hunting that lends us down trails both familiar and new.

Watch over us as we make our way through life’s jungle.

Help us to keep the Wolf Cub Law and Do Our Best in the week ahead.

ANNOUNCEMENTS Announcements, announcements, announcements

We've got a silly cheer, that you've just got to hear! 1. Announcement Song (I) It makes no sense we're sure you know, The announcements have to GO! Announcements, announcements, announcements. Announcements, announcements, announcements A horrible way to die, a horrible way to die, A horrible way to start the day, A horrible way to die. 2. Announcement Song (II)

(to the tune of Frere' Jauque) Announcements, announcements, announcements.

Words of wisdom, words of wisdom, What a terrible way to die, We don't need, we don't need, What a terrible way to die, Stupid words of wisdom, stupid words of wisdom, What a terrible death, to be talked to death. Dumb, dumb, dumb. Dumb, dumb, dumb. What a terrible way to die.

Announcements, announcements, announcements. Announcements, announcements, announcements.

Row Row Row your Boat Gently down the stream 3. Announcement Song (III) throw the announcements overboard and listen to (to the tune of London Bridge) them scream Make the announcements short and sweet, Announcements, announcements, announcements Short and sweet, Short and sweet. Row, row, row your boat Make the announcements short and sweet, Gently down the stream. They're so BORING! Ha Ha! Fooled you, I'm a submarine. 4. Announcement Song (IV) Announcements, announcements, announcements The man stood up to talk. He talked real long and hard. When you're up, you're up He talked so long that I wrote this song, And when you're down, you're down. On the lid of a can of lard! And when you're only halfway up Now lard is used to cook, You're also halfway down. And words they make a book. But if this guy keeps talking up a storm, Announcements, announcements, announcements We'll be awake no more!

Mary had a little lamb The doctor was surprised. Old McDonald had a farm He couldn't believe his eyes.

Announcements, announcements, announcements

( A slow tempo verse) I was a farmer, I had some cows. I had some chickens, and great big sows. The sows said "Oink, oink". The chicks went "Cluck cluck". But the cows said "Run fast! Here comes the bull!"