Is It a Boy Or a Girl? – Constructing Masculinity in the Lyrics of

Tomi Ristola University of Tampere School of Modern Languages and Translation Studies English Philology Pro Gradu Thesis December 2008

Tampereen yliopisto Englantilainen filologia Kieli- ja käännöstieteiden laitos

RISTOLA, TOMI: Is It a Boy Or a Girl – Constructing Masculinity in the Lyrics of Metallica.

Pro gradu -tutkielma, 73 sivua + Appendix Syksy 2008

Tutkielmassa tarkastellaan maskuliinisuuden ilmentymistä heavy metal -musiikissa. Aineistoksi on valittu Metallica-yhtyeen tuotanto, josta tutkielmaan on seuloutunut 43 kappaletta. Populaarimusiikki – ja varsinkaan raskas musiikki – ei ole kuulunut akateemisen tutkimuksen suosituimpiin aiheisiin. Mikäli sitä on tutkittu, on lähtökohtana usein ollut muun muassa genren haitalliset vaikutukset nuorisoon. Yhtenä tutkimuksen tavoitteena olikin nostaa osa populaarikulttuuria akateemisen käsittelyn piiriin ilman ennakkoluuloja.

Heavy metal -musiikkia on perinteisesti pidetty maskuliinisena musiikin muotona. Metallica on 25-vuotisen uransa aikana ollut vahvasti vaikuttamassa muun muassa -genren syntymiseen ja on täten perusteltu valinta aineistoksi. Metallicaa on luonnehdittu ”ajattelevan miehen metalliksi” ja tutkimuksen tavoitteena olikin selvittää, millä tavoin mies ja maskuliinisuus on esitetty yhtyeen sanoituksissa. Lisäksi tutkitaan, eroaako tämä esitystapa jollain tavalla perinteisemmäksi koetusta mieskuvasta heavy metal -musiikissa.

Tutkimuksessa teoria tuodaan esille analyysin rinnalla. Kappaleessa 3. käsitellään maskuliinisuuden alkukehitystä ja vanhempien vaikutusta lapsen myöhempään kehittymiseen mieheksi. Seuraavassa kappaleessa nostetaan esille maskuliinisiksi koettuja (negatiivisia) tunteita – kuten viha, pelko ja niiden kontrollointi – sekä niiden ilmentyminen lyriikoissa. Kappaleessa 5. nähdään, kuinka miehinen kyvyttömyys käsitellä tunteita saattaa eskaloitua riippuvuuksiksi sekä mielenterveysongelmiksi.

Viimeisessä analyysikappaleessa pohditaan, kuinka kontrolloimisen teema ei ole pelkästään maskuliinisuuden sisäinen ongelma, vaan miestä pyritään kontrolloimaan myös ulkopuolelta. Kappaleessa käsitellään myös Metallica-yhtyeen valkoihoisuutta sekä liitetään lyriikantekijät historialliseen kontekstiin ja kerrotaan millaisen yhteiskunnan päälle lyriikat taustaltaan rakentuvat. Lopuksi tutkitaan Metallican sanoituksissa esiintyvän miehen toimimista sodassa.

Aineistosta kävi ilmi, että perinteistä heavy metal -genren esittämää mieskuvaa ei lyriikoista löydy. Metallican esittämä mies on itsepohdiskeleva sekä altis riippuvuuksille. Heavy metal -musiikin voimakkaaseen imagoon ei haavoittuva mies ole perinteisesti kuulunut. Nähdään, että ainakin jossain määrin heavy metal -tematiikka on vuosien saatossa muuttunut naisvihan sekä seksuaalisten vihjailujen jäädessä vähemmälle.

Avainsanat: maskuliinisuus, Metallica, heavy metal, tunteet, populaarikulttuuri

Table of Contents

1. Introduction...... 1 2. Background considerations ...... 5 2.1. Introduction to heavy metal ...... 5 2.2. Introduction to Metallica ...... 10 2.3. Studying music/popular culture ...... 14 2.4. Introduction to masculinity...... 18 3. Family ...... 24 4. Anger, fear, (loss of) control within...... 33 5. Mental health, addictions...... 42 6. Social critique...... 50 6.1. Metallica as white American men...... 50 6.2. America in the 1980s...... 52 6.3. Corruption, control (without)...... 55 6.4. ?...... 58 7. Conclusions...... 64 Works cited...... 70 Appendix: Selected lyrics...... 74 1

1. Introduction

Heavy metal has been popular for almost 40 years, but despite the commercial success of heavy metal bands the genre has been ignored by academics. Heavy metal and rap music have been deemed to endorse sexism, violence and anti-religious behaviour. Much of the opposition to these genres of music is related to the explicit lyrics. According to Rafalovich 1 “the bulk of academic literature on metal music is inundated with concern about the extent to which metal music harms young men and/or the greater culture”. With its popularity and the strong reactions it evokes, its study – without a condemnatory approach – should be justified. Rafalovich’s view is supported with the lack of results in, for example, EBSCO 2, which lists only 11 results when searched with the following entries: “heavy metal”, music, masculinity. Although the link between heavy metal and misogyny, drug abuse and Satanism (to only name a few) are not devoid of merit they certainly “limit the manner in which can be understood” (Rafalovich 2006, 20).

Heavy music is traditionally considered one of the most masculine forms of popular music 3. According to Weinstein 4, “[t]he essential sonic element in heavy metal is power, expressed as sheer volume. Loudness is meant to overwhelm, to sweep the listener into the sound, and then to lend the listener the sense of power that the sound provides”. Perkkiö (2003, 169) notes that the aesthetics of heavy metal consists of many factors concentrating on power which, in our culture, has been traditionally seen to

1 Rafalovich, Adam. 2006. “Broken and Becoming God-Sized: Contemporary Metal Music and Masculine Individualism.” Symbolic Interaction. 29, 1: 19-32. (p. 20) 2 Search made 16th December 2008. 3 Perkkiö, Heli. 2003. “Kukkomunarockia ja virtuooseja.” In Yhdestä puusta: maskuliinisuuksien rakentuminen populaarikulttuureissa . ed. Jokinen, Arto, 164-189. Tampere: Tampere University Press. (p. 164) 4 Weinstein, Deena. 2000. Heavy Metal: The Music and Its Culture . Boulder, Colo: Da Capo Press. (p. 23) 2

belong to men. “Like opera, heavy metal draws upon many sources of power: mythology, violence, madness, the iconography of horror.” 5 Thus powerful music is also regarded as masculine. If we are – for the purpose of this thesis – to stay in the realm of Western culture, it is possible to say that heavy metal has been historically appreciated by an audience consisting of teenage males6. During the past couple of decades, this balance of gender has, however, evened out to some extent. Heavy metal itself, however, is still “presenting images and confronting anxieties that have been traditionally understood as peculiar to men, through musical means that have been conventionally coded as masculine” (Walser 1993, 110).

The genetic formula – chromosomes – for manhood was distinguished in the

1950s, but “being a man” has probably been a constant process throughout history.

Becoming a man, however, has more to do with psychological and social factors than biological. Masculinity has only recently been understood as natural and not purely an antonym for femininity. As women began to define themselves through feminism, men began to do the same.

It is not rare to hear the words “be a man” directed at a boy (or an older man for that matter). It thus appears that virility and other characteristics attached to being a man are partially acquired and do not come naturally. When one adds the adjectives “true” or

“real”, the question of masculinity becomes more nuanced. Men themselves often use these definitions, but do they mean that some men are men only in appearance? 7

5 Walser, Robert. cop. 1993. Running with the Devil: Power, Gender and Madness in Heavy Metal Music. Hanover (N.H.): Wesleyan University Press. (p. 109) 6 Christe does state, however, that “though the imagery could be overwhelmingly macho, it was important to notice that metal’s power was as appealing to young women as it was men”. He continues by noting how “[in the early 1980s] the metal scene was a progressive force, and far less sexist than rock music as whole”. (Christe, Ian. cop. 2003. Sound of the Beast: The Complete Headbanging History of Heavy Metal. New York: HarperEntertainment. (p.99-100)). 7 Badinter, Elisabeth. 1993. Mikä on mies? Tampere: Vastapaino. (pp. 15-16) 3

To talk about one masculinity is like having stereoscopic vision with one eye closed. It is not necessary to travel across the world to understand masculinity, when it is apparent even in our Western societies that masculinity is defined by time, class, race and age (Badinter 1993, 49). If masculinity is something that is constructed it is also subject to change.

If we are to study books, films and television programmes in order to find information about how our culture constructs men and masculinity, it becomes obvious that “there is no single, consistent image of manhood, but a range of quite different, even contradictory representations”. 8

Jokinen 9 discusses the process of the cultural representation of men and notes how

“reality” or “the world”, which are depicted by representations, consist of real phenomena and interpretations. Representations tell us what we think, but also affect the way we think. According to Jokinen (2000, 121), comparing men in literature with actual men is not sensible since representations are only in relation to reality, but do not express reality. Studying cultural representations of men becomes meaningful when they are studied as representations and discursive products, because then the objects of study are the discourses by which men are manipulated into structuring their experiences and building their identities.

The aim of this study is to see if and how this masculinity is represented in . The lyrics of Metallica have been chosen with the premise that the band, with a long history in the music business, has been a major factor in the development of heavy metal itself. The thesis is divided into four chapters. Chapter 2 will give the reader an introduction into the history of heavy metal and Metallica and discuss some

8 Edley & Wetherell. 1996. “Masculinity, power and identity.” In Understanding masculinities. ed. Mac an Ghaill, Mártin, 97-113. Buckingham: Open University Press. (p. 106) 9 Jokinen, Arto. 2000. Panssaroitu maskuliinisuus: Mies, väkivalta ja kulttuuri. Tampere: Tampere University Press. (pp. 120-124) 4

issues of studying music and popular culture. Subchapter 2.4. will provide a quick look into the theoretical outline for this study and bring in aspects of masculinity studies. The next chapters will attempt to analyse the way in which the male self is built in the lyrics of Metallica. Chapter 3 starts by discussing the early development of the male as a child and the relationship with his parents. In chapters 4 and 5 a discussion of the consequences of the male self’s emotional background will be provided. Chapter 6 includes a discussion on the view of society and the way it communicates with the male character in the lyrics. 5

2. Background considerations

But we will never stop We will never quit Cause we are Metallica (“Whiplash”, Kill ‘Em All , 1983)

2.1. Introduction to heavy metal

In order to understand the subject matter at issue, a brief 10 look into the development of the genre – heavy metal 11 – is required. Rock music was originally marketed in the 1950s as an alternative to the settled, white, Anglo-Saxon Americans and has been associated with sex and violence for approximately half a century. Born after the world wars and living in an age of superpowers which prized conformity, the youth who were coming of age in the middle of the 1960s, were looking for an individual identity. “Rock music sold in large quantities and was often seen by its producers and audience to involve the communication of authentic artistic consciousness and to have important things to say about contemporary events.” 12 Rock has often been presented as a sort of liberation from the norms of everyday. It gave new meaning to self-expression and gained a type of oppositional status.

By the end of the 1960s, heavy metal began to attain its stylistic identity. “The themes of the early heavy metal were dark, disappointed, and pessimistic, but kept the antiestablishment stance of late ‘60s rock.” 13 Metal underlined epic, even superhuman,

10 For further reading on e.g. the history of heavy metal, see Christe (2003) and Weinstein (2000). 11 ”Beat writer William S. Burroughs named a character in his 1964 novel Nova Express ‘Uranium Willy, the heavy metal kid’. The critic Lester Bangs, an early and literate proponent of , later applied the term to music. Before them, ‘heavy metal’ was a nineteenth-century term used in warfare to describe firepower and in chemistry to designate newly discovered elements of high molecular density” (Christe 2003, 10). 12 Longhurst, Brian. 1995. Popular Music & Society . Cambridge: Polity Press. (p.108) 13 Reddick, Brad H. and Beresin, Eugene V. 2002. Rebellious Rhapsody: Metal, Rap, Community, and Individuation. [Internet] Academic Psychiatry 26 (pp. 51-59). Media Column. Available from < http://www.ap.psychiatryonline.org/cgi/content/full/26/1/51>. 6

struggles and achievements, while society was focusing on egalitarianism and liberal democracy. During the late 1960s bands like The Jimi Hendrix Experience, Deep

Purple, , Uriah Heep and Black Sabbath all came into being. This coincided with the growing influence of the electric guitar 14 , which had started a decade earlier. It was Led Zeppelin and Black Sabbath, who many think grasped the true essence of heavy metal.

Before Black Sabbath, ‘heavy’ had referred more to a feeling than a particular musical style, as in hippiespeak it described anything with potent mood. Jimi Hendrix and The Beatles often wrote songs that pointed toward a heavy break, a bridge between melodies that tried to resolve conflicting emotions and ideas. The ‘metal’ in heavy metal put a steely resilience to that struggle, an unbreakable thematic strength that secured the tension and uninhibited emotion. (Christe 2003, 10)

This period also saw the first satanic associations made regarding heavy metal and also music in general. Even though the anti-Christian imagery was existent, it was more an attempt to shock than something bands took seriously. Christianity has been, especially in America, omnipresent and its values have pervaded the society for a long time. Heavy metal’s images of death and suffering challenged those Christian values where good behaviour is a means of avoiding the negative repercussions after death.

“[A]s the years passed, the anti-Christian element of thrash metal faded to the point where such topics were more or less confined to the arenas of and to a lesser extent .” 15

While many of the first metal bands came to quick ends, another direction of metal was emerging. During the 1970s, bands like The Sex Pistols, The Ramones and

The Clash were on the forefront of the punk movement, which included a horde of new

14 Invented by Adolf in 1931. 15 McIver, Joel. 2004. Justice For All: The Truth About Metallica . London: Omnibus Press. (p.55) 7

acts whose musical skills were almost non-existent. The primary function of punk music was to protest fascism, governments, and societal wrongdoings.

As punk music was trying to shake the foundations of societies, a new wave of heavy metal was materialising. 16 During the second half of the 1970s, Motörhead brought about a new, more aggressive sound. This marked the beginnings of thrash/. Thrash metal took the power and attitude of punk and the musical cleverness of the New Wave of British Heavy Metal (referred to as NWOBHM from now on) while increasing the and adopting a tougher sound. NWOBHM is a term used to collectively refer to bands emanating from the UK during 1979-1981. The most noteworthy bands of this era include , , Venom and Tygers of

Pan Tang. This movement developed partly as a reaction to the decline of the first major heavy metal bands. NWOBHM was a source of inspiration and originality and it paved the way for the genre through much of the 1980s.

When NWOBHM landed on the West Coast of the United States, was dominating the music scene in Los Angeles with bands like Van Halen, Mötley Crüe and, a few years later, , Whitesnake and Guns ‘n’ Roses. Glam metal bands were (in)famous for their somewhat feminine appearances with long teased hair and make-up – the use of which Kiss took to the extreme in the 1970s. As the glam metal scene brought the music into the popular sphere, mainstream, and sold millions of records in the process, fans of bands such as Motörhead and Venom responded to the situation with disgust. A reaction to the softer glam metal came from the San Francisco

Bay Area and the “” of the thrash metal scene. Metallica, , and

Anthrax produced uncompromising and brutal music, which was shunned by radio stations. According to Reddick and Beresin (2002), “Thrash and death metal groups

16 “Extreme” punk music emphasised youthful rebellion by rejecting their relationship with the mainstream by openly commenting social and political issues. 8

such as Metallica, Iron Maiden, Megadeath (sic), Slayer, and Nuclear Assault are similar in their adherence to turning inward and isolating or alienating the self from a world rife with corruption and destined for destruction.”

As the youth of the previous two decades reached the 1980s they had grown cynical during the Cold War. Joel McIver (2004, 96) quotes Bobby Ellsworth of the band Overkill about the way thrash metal changed. It had all started out as a way of venting anger for teenagers, but later took on “social elements and political ideology.” It is not unreasonable to assume that without the underground tape-trading network the thrash metal scene would have found it harder to survive. Commercial success for thrash metal became reality in 1986 with the release of two of the most influential thrash metal records: Metallica’s and Slayer’s . “By

1989, heavy metal accounted for as much as 40 percent of all sound recordings sold in the United States, and announced that heavy metal now constituted ‘the mainstream of rock and roll’” (1993, 3-4). The reactions to the release of Metallica’s self-titled in 1991 were a clear signal that mass recognition for heavy metal had been achieved. It might be noted, however, that some people might object to including the Black album into the thrash movement. Thrash metal in itself lasted only about a decade.

The 1980s can probably be described as a time of division as popular music branched into a number of genres. Without going into too much detail of the myriads of metal’s subdivisions a short note will be made. “Music journalists seem to be falling over themselves with unseemly haste in their hurry to create new categories for metal, so much so that confusion abounds amongst all but the deeply enlightened” (McIver

2004, 59). However, as Walser (1993, 27) mentions, the ceaseless creativity of musicians – in any genre – brings about the fact that popular music is far from being a 9

static representation of conventional norms and thus the eagerness of journalists might be, to some extent, justified. Power metal, goth metal, black metal, and death metal – to name only a few – all have their representatives and followers despite the incessant uncertainty about the categories. Distancing oneself from the debate about subdivisions the more or less general term ‘heavy metal’ will predominantly be used in this thesis when referring to the genre. This is done while keeping in mind that some fans and artists within the heavy metal culture may not necessarily accept all of Metallica’s later works under this term.

Ever since its dawning, heavy metal has diversified continuously and to an immeasurable extent. Thrash metal found its successor in , but pop metal metamorphosed itself into /rock. The overwhelming wave of grunge was kicked off by Nirvana and drew millions of teenagers from Generation X into its realm. Other Seattle bands such as , , and Pearl Jam quickly rose to fame as grunge and alternative rock dominated the airwaves up until the mid-

1990s. During the 1990s many felt that commercialism was absorbing the free will of musicians that had marked the attitude of metal and rock thus far.

The cyclical nature of heavy metal (and music genres in general) is quite obvious.

The grunge wave of the early nineties was somewhat short-lived and the punk movement has seen its new representatives on MTV. Some might argue that resemblances to the bands of the first punk movement are few and far between. “By the mid-1990s, seemingly disparate forms of music – metal, hip-hop, techno, pop, jazz, blues – were being broken down and put back together in new ways. Bands like Rage

Against The Machine, Nine Inch Nails and particularly (. . .) were forging a new 10

metal sound and redefining the metal aesthetic.” 17 MTV also played a large part in the emergence of ‘nu-metal’ during the later part of the 1990s. The more prominent bands in this group include Korn, , and Slipknot. Nu-metal, although popular, was not welcomed with open arms by the older and more traditional metal fans.

Metallica, one of the trailblazers of the thrash movement, are nearing the 30-year marker of their careers. During this time they have released nine studio . As their musical qualities have changed over the course of time, debate whether all of

Metallica’s oeuvre may be regarded as heavy metal is ongoing. The answer to this is probably no, but as mentioned above the question of genre is not what this thesis is mostly interested in. Next, a more detailed view into the history of Metallica will follow.

2.2. Introduction to Metallica

The contents of this chapter are largely based on Joel McIver’s (2004) Justice for

All: The Truth About Metallica . The person mainly responsible for the lyrics of

Metallica is . He was born on August 3 rd , 1963 and grew up with parents holding strong beliefs of Christian Science. The rejection of medicine connected with

Christian Science is a part of the backbone for some of the lyrics as both of Hetfield’s parents eventually died of cancer. The band’s co-founder is drummer . The

Ulrich family, including the 16-year-old Lars, had moved from Copenhagen to Los

Angeles in August 1980. Young Lars Ulrich’s growing interest in rock music and especially NWOBHM was to some extent out of place. Bands like Eagles, Grateful

Dead and Aerosmith were dominant. Although a small number of enthusiasts did follow the scene, only a few British bands actually made the journey across the Atlantic and the

17 Ingham, Chris (with Tommy Udo). 2003. : the stories behind the biggest songs. London: Carlton. (p.114) 11

North American continent. This was due to most NWOBHM bands being signed to small UK labels.

James Hetfield and Lars Ulrich first met in April 1981. It was not until later, however, that the duo got together in order to write a song for a compilation called The

New Heavy Metal Revue Presents Metal Massacre by Ulrich’s friend . The trio, which at this point included bass player Ron McGovney, practised a song called

“Hit The Lights”. It was not long before the need for a band identity was at hand.

Metallica was chosen as the name for the band late in 1982. Through an ad in a paper, they searched for a second guitarist and eventually recruited .

In 1982, Metallica took their first steps as an actual band in the debut concert

(seven of the total nine songs were cover songs) played on March 14 th . In June the

Metal Massacre compilation was released to ecstatic reviews and went on to sell 30,000 copies (McIver 2004, 49).

The data for this thesis is provided by Metallica’s nine studio albums, of which the first, Kill 'Em All , came out in July 1983. It was initially pressed as a run of a few thousand copies, but by the end of the year had already sold 17,000 copies in America

(McIver 2004, 120). Before the release of the album, Metallica and Ron McGovney had parted company. The first rehearsal session with McGovney’s replacement, Cliff

Burton, took place late 1982. Although Burton’s relationship with the band was to be somewhat short-lived, he (and his musical talents) had an enormous influence to the band’s post-Burton era. Burton was the only member in the band to have studied music, and the classical influences he had absorbed are heard in Metallica’s later music.

Malcolm Dome 18 discusses the lyrics of Kill ‘Em All (with the example of “Metal

Militia”) and notes how “there is an underlying feeling that the band were using

18 Dome, Malcolm & Wall, Mick. cop. 2005. Metallica: the Complete Guide to their Music. London: Omnibus. (p. 19) 12

traditional imagery to make a contemporary, almost cynical point about the manner in which governments can use war to manipulate situations for their benefit”. These themes will be discussed later in the thesis. Dome (2005, 19) continues by stating that

Hetfield’s use of irony was very much lost on the audience since the lyrics were seen as no more than onomatopoeic and the vocals as merely a musical instrument.

1983 saw another major event for the band when guitarist Mustaine’s alcohol abuse became a problem. Mustaine’s unreliability and a clash of personalities with

Hetfield led to the replacing of Mustaine with the then Exodus guitarist .

The band started recording Kill ‘Em All right after Hammett’s recruitment. This line-up would stay intact for three years and release two more studio albums – Ride The

Lightning (1984) and Master Of Puppets (1986). Lyrically, included songs on light topics such as the death penalty, Armageddon and suicide, while Master

Of Puppets touched on themes like war, drug addiction and insanity. The latter album was briefly touched upon in the previous chapter, but it was the events that followed that proved to be as significant as the album itself. The band was on tour in Europe and travelling from to Copenhagen. Uncertainty over the sobriety of the bus driver and the presence of black ice on the road remains, but what is certain is that on the morning of September 27, 1986, the bus skidded and turned over killing Cliff

Burton.

Several players auditioned, but it was Jason of Flotsam & Jetsam whose commitment and determination attracted Metallica most. Things moved fast and on

November 8, 1986, Metallica played their first gig as a new foursome. The first studio album with Newsted, ...And Justice For All , was eventually released on September 5,

1988. 13

Metallica – released on August 12, 1991, and also referred to as the Black -album

– is divisive in more ways than one. Many of Metallica’s hardcore fans had already snarled, when the band had released their first to accompany the single

“One” a few years earlier. The latest album, meanwhile, contained elements that thrash fans had trouble accepting. Sugary pop nuances and orchestral backing were just a few aspects that caused controversy. While long time fans were devastated with the band

“selling out”, the same characteristics were luring millions of people into the world of metal. As McIver (2004, 206) notes, “[a] self-absorbed, almost confessional theme was starting to emerge in Hetfield’s writing.”

The following tour lasted until July 1993 and between 1996 and 1999 the band continued to cause consternation among fans with almost everything they released. The next two studio albums – Load (1996) and Reload (1997) – have been called mediocre at best and the somewhat groundbreaking S&M19 (1999) was hard for some people to accept. The album included a recording with conductor Michael Kamen and the San

Francisco Symphony Orchestra.

A few more noteworthy incidents took place before the release of Metallica’s eighth studio album – St.Anger . The much-publicised lawsuit against Napster in 2000-

2001 was trying the patience of the fans that had stood behind them through the latter part of the Nineties. On January 17, 2001, decided to quit Metallica permanently. A couple of the reasons for Newsted’s departure included Hetfield’s obsessive controlling and actual damage done to Newsted’s neck during his 15 years with the band.

Six months after Newsted had announced his departure from the band, it was made public that “Hetfield had entered a rehabilitation facility ‘to undergo treatment for

19 ’s Concerto For Group And Orchestra in 1969 was the first attempt of a similar kind. Playing a concerto composed by , the band performed with The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra. 14

alcoholism and other addictions’” (McIver 2004, 309). Recordings for the next album had started only three weeks before Hetfield’s admission. It was not until a year later, however, that they resumed. The first half of 2003 saw the band recruit a new bass player – – and release of St.Anger on June 10.

On September 10, 2008, Metallica released their ninth studio album – Death

Magnetic . A more detailed introduction to the lyrical themes of Metallica’s oeuvre will be offered in later chapters.

2.3. Studying music/popular culture

We live in a world of signs and our lives are permeated by music – whether consciously or unconsciously. Chambers notes that “[p]opular culture (. . .) rejects the narrow access to the cerebral world of official culture.” 20 One of the aims of this thesis is to pull a small part of popular culture into the realm of the academic mind and try to adopt some authority over it. People live through culture and one should be aware of the contemporary world from where the signs are taken. Brian Longhurst (1995, 22) argues that “any cultural object such as a book, play, film, television programme, or record should be thought of as a text. These texts do not come into existence spontaneously, but result from production processes which involve various different institutions.” The economic context of producing music (texts) will not be taken into consideration in this thesis. Since we are forced to handle concepts through texts and not directly, the necessity to interpret remains. Aho (2007, 128) comments how music is a challenging object of study due to its complex nature. It carries wordless gestures, linguistic connotations, clear words, and it has an essential visual and kinesthetic element. This interpretation is always more or less uncertain which is characteristic of humanist

20 Chambers, Iain. 1986. Popular Culture: The Metropolitan Experience . London: Methuen & Co. Ltd. (p. 13) 15

sciences 21 . Sanna Talja 22 distinguishes between popular culture and institutional culture by noting that whereas popular culture comes near its audience regarding time and space, institutional culture is more distant.

It is hard to overstate the importance of music. The lyrical content of songs (and more specifically heavy metal and rap) has been under intense scrutiny and the graphic nature of some of the song lyrics has caused parents and legislators to worry about the impact of words on attitudes and behaviour of youth. Parental advisory labels decorate album covers, whose content is deemed “harmful”.

Popular music (in the case of bands such as Metallica, not solo artists) can be generally considered as a collaborative product of band members. In the particular example of Metallica, which is of interest here, the lyrics are mainly credited to singer

James Hetfield. Identifying the texts as a product of a white American man is important if one attempts to locate them in a specific context. When discussing texts in the realm of popular music it is also reasonable to take into consideration the fact that apart from being “public property” (copyright issues aside) the texts are personal products. The persona behind the texts will be considered at times, but mostly the lyrics will be examined in the broader and more generic perspective of masculinity.

As was discussed earlier, part of the roots of heavy metal lie, for example, in the psychedelic music of Jimi Hendrix. Jimi Hendrix and other members of the counter- culture were looking to pull out from consumerism. All the way through from the androgynous image of and the “shock therapy” by the punk movement

(for which, for example, Marilyn Manson has given a whole new meaning during the

21 Aho, Marko. 2007. “Tekstien paljous.” In Populaarimusiikin tutkimus. eds. Aho, Marko & Kärjä, Antti-Ville, 121-131. Tampere: Vastapaino. (pp. 121-122) 22 Talja, Sanna. 1998. Musiikki, kulttuuri, kirjasto: diskurssien analyysi. Tampere: Tampereen yliopisto. (p. 219) 16

past decade), the counter-culture music has been looking for shock value. Savran 23 argues, however, that in the end, counterculture did very little to change the structure of white masculinity. Punk music changed the status quo when they directed a provocative punch against rock music, which it considered hollow. “The simple distinction between

‘mainstream’ and margin, between avant-garde and popular, between music and ‘noise’ were confused. The singular history of pop, seen as a set of successive waves – rock ‘n’ roll, beat, progressive rock – was set aside and replaced by multiple histories”

(Chambers 1986, 173). Mikko Lehtonen discusses the boundaries of high culture and popular culture and notes how there are no grounds to claim that high culture would always be innovative and complex while popular culture remained relatively simple. 24

He continues (2001, 122) by saying that, while popular culture is often described as escapist, high culture is typically considered to be a correcting mirror by which people are able to see something which goes unnoticed in everyday life.

It is quite obvious how pop music has been predominantly occupied by male voices. The marginalization of women is even more obvious in the genre of heavy metal. Whereas in other areas of music women have gained some status in the footsteps of the likes of Madonna and Tina Turner, heavy metal remains very male-dominated to this day.

High culture has come to mean most commonly cultural products held in high esteem. Popular culture often contrasts with the more exclusive high culture and represents what is popular within a social context.

23 Savran, David. 1998. Taking It Like a Man: White masculinity, masochism, and contemporary American culture . New Jersey: Princeton University Press. (p. 156) 24 Lehtonen, Mikko. 2001. Post Scriptum: kirja medioitumisen aikakaudella . Tampere: Vastapaino. (p. 119) 17

Official culture, preserved in art galleries, museums, and university courses, demands cultivated tastes and a formally imparted knowledge. It demands moments of attention that are separated from the run of daily life. Popular culture, meanwhile, mobilizes the tactile, the incidental, the transitory, the expendable; the visceral. It does not involve an abstract aesthetic research amongst privileged objects of attention, but invokes mobile orders of sense, taste and desire. (Chambers 1986, 12)

The emphasis in this thesis will be on an attempt to detach the song lyrics from the song itself. It is worth noting that analysing only lyrics neglects some of the elements that make up the complete experience of songs. Simon Frith identifies three directions for analysis of songs: the ways in which they are sung, locating a song in a specific genre, and consideration as to how songs work (for example, analysing words as a form of rhythm and sound). 25 Richard Middleton 26 has suggested three problematic areas for musicological study of pop music. First, the musicological terminology prefers ideas of harmony and tonality over rhythm and timbre. Second, notational problems mean that many of the features in non-classical music cannot be expressed adequately.

Third, the ideological stance of musicology, which draws from the 19 th century, values a particular kind of music above others. Forms of music are invariably judged against that classical European tradition.

Glenn T. Pillsbury has challenged these problems in the relationship between musicology and popular music and provided a study on Metallica’s musical landscape in Damage Incorporated .27 Pillsbury’s study expands the musicological scope of popular music studies whereas this thesis attempts to do the same, but by connecting the fields of popular music and philology.

25 Frith, Simon. 1988. “Why Do Songs Have Words?” In Music for Pleasure: essays in the sociology of pop , 105-128. Cambridge: Polity Press. (pp. 120-121) 26 Middleton, Richard. 1990. Studying Popular Music . Milton Keynes: Open University Press. (pp. 104- 106) 27 Pillsbury, Glenn T. 2006. Damage Incorporated: Metallica and the Production of Musical Identity . New York: Routledge. 18

2.4. Introduction to masculinity

In order to give the reader an adequate position and make it possible to get the most out of the following chapters, a brief look into masculinity will be required. No thorough and separate theory chapter will be provided, as parts of the theory on masculinity will be introduced alongside the analysis whenever needed.

Arto Jokinen 28 notes that a psychological, social or physical attribute, which could be named as masculine and is common to all men, does not necessarily exist. It is necessary to distinguish and define the type of masculinity in question here. The context of the subject matter lies in the white, Western world. Metallica has throughout the years, consisted of four white, American (though Ulrich is Danish in origin) men, all born in the 1960s 29 . Thus it is clear that we need to focus on the westernized ideas and representations of masculinity. And more precisely, the ideas of masculinity prevailing in and after the 1980s as this was the time when the band had come of age. The matter of Metallica as white American men will be discussed in more detail in chapter 6.

Masculinity is a complex and unstable concept and masculinity and femininity do not simply represent a binary opposition. David Savran (1998, 7) argues that

“masculinity and femininity are always embodied characteristics and, as such, are continually being constructed in relation to other visible (and invisible) categories that are taken to define the subject – especially race, social class, and sexual orientation.”

According to Peter Middleton 30 , men have written plenty about themselves as men, but mostly unconsciously. Being conscious of their gender results in talk of heroic masculinity, of manhood and its vicissitudes.

28 Jokinen, Arto. 2003. “Miten miestä merkitään.” In Yhdestä puusta: maskuliinisuuksien rakentuminen populaarikulttuureissa . ed. Jokinen, Arto, 7-31. Tampere: Tampere University Press. (p.12) 29 The recruitment of Latin American Robert Trujillo as a bass player in 2003 brought an ethnic flavour to the band. 30 Middleton, Peter. 1992. The Inward Gaze: masculinity and subjectivity in modern culture. London: Routledge. (p.2) 19

The Oxford English Dictionary defines ‘masculine’ as: “4. a. Designating an object deemed to be of the male sex on the basis of some quality, such as strength or activity, esp. as contrasted with a corresponding object deemed female. (. . .) 5. a. Of a personal attribute, an action, etc.: having a character befitting or regarded as appropriate to the male sex; vigorous, powerful. Of a man: manly, virile.” The search for

‘masculinity’ in the OED results in the following: “1. a. The state or fact of being masculine; the assemblage of qualities regarded as characteristic of men; maleness, manliness.” However, masculinity should not be considered as one and common for all men. A society can have more than one masculinity presiding at the same time. “In the last couple of decades, there has been an explosion of interest in the ways men are represented in popular culture. Prior to this, masculinity was not considered a problematic or troubling category.”31 Middleton (1992, 153) discusses the term masculine as follows:

As adjective, the term ‘masculine’ moves between the identification of a person’s sex as male and socially validated norms of acceptable behaviour for males. As noun, its referent will depend on what assumptions about subjectivity and society determine its context. (. . .) Central to all the usages seems to be an element of acculturation. Masculinity is socially constructed, but how and why will depend on the theory we use, as well as the significance given to the idea of social construction.

31 Flood, Michael et.al. (ed.) 2007. International Encyclopedia of men and masculinities. London: Routledge. (p.120) 20

Gardiner 32 summarises some of the history of masculinity:

The women’s liberation movement of the 1960s and 1970s assumed an antagonism between feminism and masculinity that was reciprocated in much popular discourse. Masculinity studies within the academy in the 1970s and 1980s developed a conflicted dependency on feminist theories and often housed its courses within women’s and gender studies programs. The 1990s masculinist men’s movement, which sought to restore male dominance over women and reverse feminist advances, rose and fell.

Jorma Sipilä 33 notes how the 1990s saw an increase in the types of men’s movements and research that were willing to do more than defend the position of power acquired by men thus far.

Male Studies gained popularity in the 1980s and the 1990s saw the branch grow even further. R.W. Connell has been one of the pioneers of this field of study. Her

Masculinities 34 has been said to have had significant influence in this field.

In the course of the twentieth century there have been three main projects for a science of masculinity. One was based in the clinical knowledge acquired by therapists, and its leading ideas came from Freudian theory. The second was based in social psychology and centred on the enormously popular idea of ‘sex role’. The third involves recent developments in anthropology, history and sociology. (Connell 1995, 7)

Connell (1995, 21) identifies the idea of male sex role as the first important attempt to create a social science of masculinity. The concept of social roles (sex roles) has been around since the 1950s. “Most often, sex roles are seen as the cultural elaboration of biological sex differences. But this is not necessary” (Connell 1995, 22).

The relations between different masculinities lead to relations of dominance and subordination. As noted earlier, the focus here is on the white masculinity. The Western,

32 Gardiner, Judith Kegan. cop. 2002. Masculinity studies & feminist theory: new directions . New York: Columbia University Press. (p. 2) 33 Sipilä, Jorma. 1994. “Miestutkimus – säröjä hegemonisessa maskuliinisuudessa.” In Miestä rakennetaan – maskuliinisuuksia puretaan. Sipilä, Jorma & Tiihonen, Arto (toim.), 17-33. Tampere: Vastapaino, 1994. (p.19) 34 Connell, R.W. 1995. Masculinities. Cambridge: Polity Press. 21

white masculinity has been linked with power relations. This is where the concept of hegemonic masculinity 35 comes into play. The notion of hegemonic masculinity was introduced to contest the earlier concept of male roles. Sipilä (1994, 20) notes that it is important to understand masculinity as socially constructed and not as a role. Mikko

Lehtonen 36 describes hegemonic masculinity as,

Hegemoninen mieheys on elämän eri alueille ulottuva käytäntöjen ja odotusten kokonaisuus, useimpien miesten identiteetin perusta. Siinä yhdistyvät sekä mieheyden traditiot, sen monet instituutiot että välitön arkinen kokemus. Kulttuurissamme edelleen vallitseva mieheys on pitkälle sellaista, jossa mieheys on luonnolliseksi nähty normi, jotain niin kiistatonta ja itsestään selvää että siitä on turha edes puhua. Turhat pulinat pois, sillä pojat ovat poikia ja sillä siisti.

Referring to the quotes from the Oxford English Dictionary, a critical view may be in order. A central part of hegemonic masculinity is heterosexuality. Hegemonic masculinity not only subordinates femininity but other masculinities (for example blacks and homosexuals) as well. Sipilä (1994, 22) lists four norms which, according to hegemonic masculinity, a man should attain: 1) physical strength, 2) societal success, 3) stability, the ability to defend himself and his community, and 4) the skills of an excellent heterosexual lover. The question remains whether very many men feel able to accomplish these. Even though one might argue that men in the 21st century tend to possess a clearer consciousness of the need for emotional fulfilment, at least up until the

1990s the fundamental nature of what it means to “be a man” had remained relatively intact. Middleton (1992, 212) examines this by saying:

35 R.W. Connell was one of the people to introduce this concept in the 1980s. 36 Lehtonen, Mikko. 1999. “Maskuliinisuus, kansallisuus, identiteetti.” In Mies ja muutos: Kriittisen miestutkimuksen teemoja . Jokinen, Arto (toim.), 74-88. Vammala: Tampere University Press. (p. 86) 22

Men in most Western cultures are not supposed to show any emotion in public other than anger, except in certain ritually defined circumstances, because anger is masculine power at its most impressive. Otherwise men should control themselves, and maintain a firm jaw in the face of trouble. Women commonly can show any emotion except anger. From early childhood boys and girls learn these restrictions.

Rock music has many sides worth studying and concentrating on the textual dimension of the subject matter might be seen as limiting and too narrow as a scope.

Overlooking the iconography connected with live performances or the musicological aspect is not done here to downplay their importance. This thesis is done for a department of philology thus justifying the framing. The basis for this study is qualitative. The data for a qualitative study is in its simplest form text which may or may not be dependent on the researcher. Examples of the former are interviews and of the latter diaries and biographies. 37 Although our perceptions are loaded with earlier experiences, the lack of hypotheses in qualitative study means that the person conducting a study does not have locked assumptions of the object of study or the results (Eskola 1998, 19).

The interest here lies in analysing the posited connection with heavy metal and the imagery of masculinity.

Much of the band’s popularity and critical success during the 1980s depended on an understanding that its music dealt with real issues taking place in the real world and offered thought-provoking questions quite unlike mainstream pop music or the hedonism of bands such as Poison or Mötley Crüe. (Pillsbury 2006, 147)

The lyrics of Metallica have been chosen with the premise that the band, with a long history in the music business, has established themselves as a major factor in the development of heavy metal itself. Heavy metal lyrics are analysed in this thesis “to

37 Eskola, Jari. 1998. Johdatus laadulliseen tutkimukseen . Tampere: Vastapaino. (p. 15) 23

reveal aspects of contemporary male identity and illustrate masculine perceptions of self and other” (Rafalovich 2006, 21). The data for this thesis was provided by Metallica’s nine studio albums, which consist of a total of 95 songs. Out of these, 43 Metallica songs made their way into this thesis. The amount of data does not have an outright effect to the success of a study. The purpose of the data is to assist conceptualising the phenomenon under study. This means that the aim is not only to give a narration of the data, but to build theoretically sustainable perspectives. 24

3. Family

Dear mother Dear father Hidden in your world you’ve made for me (“Dyers Eve”, ...And Justice For All , 1988)

This chapter will examine the relationship of the man as a boy and his parents in the lyrics. According to the International Encyclopedia of Men and Masculinities (2007,

182), “families are the first, and perhaps the most significant, arenas within which masculinities are constructed, and fathers are often the first and most influential role models for sons”. Christine Heward 38 argues that “[w]hile fathers are the first role models for their son’s masculinities and take an active part in shaping their son’s construction of masculinity, outcomes are problematic, negotiated and contested.” The seemingly apolitical question of “is it a boy or a girl?” is invested with powerful signifiers and expectations. Elisabeth Badinter (1993, 55-56) refers to Erik Erikson’s studies when noting that assuming an identity is a complex process, which includes both positive internalising and negative excluding. We define ourselves through our similarities with some and differences to others. Recognising the dualism of gender is important in order for a child to form a clear identity.

During his first months a child is dependent on the mother and has very limited ability to separate himself from others. The mother is the first object of love and the prototype of future love relationships. A correct portioning of mother’s love is important because too much hinders a boy’s development into a man and too little makes him sick (Badinter 1993, 74). A boy needs to turn away from the mother’s nurturing role towards the more expressive, extrovert, and aggressive role of the father.

38 Heward, Christine. 1996. “Masculinities and families.” In Understanding masculinities. ed. Mac an Ghaill, Mártin, 35-49. Buckingham: Open University Press, 1996. (p. 37) 25

“Freud’s theory accounts for sons’ gender identity by means of their identification with their fathers in fear and anger” (Heward 1996, 35). Heward (1996, 38), however, goes on to question the role of the mother in the formation of gender identification in boys when she continues:

The importance of mothers in the process of identity formation should be acknowledged rather than dismissed as anti-models who have performed their initial nurturing function. A theory about the construction of a masculine identity in relations with fathers and mothers, identifying and rejecting features of both within a historical and social context is needed.

Kirsh 39 discusses (and criticises) control theories and refers to Hirschi’s theory of social control 40 , according to which youthful acts of aggression occur naturally and require societal intervention to bring them under control. According to Hirschi’s theory, strong attachments (to different groups such as parents, school, and peers, for instance) reduce antisocial tendencies of children and adolescents. Cummings & Cicchetti 41 further note that “[t]he psychological unavailability of parents, insecure attachment relationships between parent and child, and the child’s development of depression or precursors of depression thus may be seen as interrelated processes.” Steve Mason 42 discusses issues of emotion among men.

39 Kirsh, Steven J. cop. 2006. Children, adolescents, and media violence: a critical look at the research. Thousand Oaks (Calif.): Sage. (p. 60) 40 To read more, see: Hirschi, T., 1969. Causes of delinquency. Berkeley: University of California Press. 41 Cummings, Mark E. and Cicchetti, Dante. 1993. “Toward a Transactional Model of Relations between Attachment and Depression”. In Attachment in the Preschool Years: Theory, Research and Intervention. eds. Greenberg, Mark T., Cicchetti, Dante, Cummings, E. Mark, 339-372. Chicago: University of Chicago Press. (p. 346) 42 Mason, Steve. 1986. “Men Overcoming Violence”. In Men’s Antisexist Newsletter. (p.17) quoted in Middleton (1992, pp. 119-120). 26

As men we are very out of touch with our feelings – we have had the language of feeling beaten out of us, often literally, during childhood. Those feelings we are left with have acquired connotations which makes us shun or misapply them. So – love and warmth imply shame; joy and delight imply immaturity; anger and frustration imply physical violence. We need to reclaim our feelings and shed the connotations – to learn that feeling is good for us. Our dissociation from feeling allows us to be violent more easily, as it dissociates us from the consequences. Anger and violence need not be synonymous and learning to feel more deeply will help us find a path away from violence.

Middleton (1992, 120) contemplates that if the problem is in the realm of psychological development, then men ought to be able to retrain themselves.

It is evident in the lyrics that all is not well in the home of the lyrical boy. The title of the song “Invisible Kid” is already a strong indicator in itself of what the boy is experiencing. The boy is missing out on the warmth, affection and attention one would assume to be “normal” in a parent-child relationship.

Invisible kid Never see what he did (. . .) Invisible kid Locked away in his brain (“Invisible Kid”, St.Anger , 2003)

The child in “Invisible Kid” seems withdrawn which would suggest some sort of negligence. In “Invisible Kid”, even some hints of incest could be read into the lyrics as apparently some sort of attention is available, but whether it is positive can be questioned.

Suspicious of your touch (. . .) He doesn’t want the attention you give (“Invisible Kid”, St.Anger , 2003)

27

Metallica have recorded a few songs that examine the world of children and their fears. Issues of dislocation and intimations of abuse are not difficult to find. The child’s desperate call for some attention on the part of his parents is manifested in the chorus.

Open your heart I’m beating right here Open your mind I’m being right here, right now (“Invisible Kid”, St.Anger , 2003)

Another glimpse of the lack of the child’s bond with his parents is available in

“Dyers Eve”. The strict methods of parenting experienced by Hetfield are evidenced here. The life of the child is firmly controlled – in a way which even makes the child view his upbringing as hell .

Day in day out live my life through you Pushed onto me what’s wrong or right Hidden from this thing that they call life. (“Dyers Eve”, ...And Justice for All , 1988)

The child is lacking contact with the world outside of home as his parents have a tight control over the life of their child. Psychologically, this is preventing the child from developing an ordinary understanding of the world as he is overdependent on his parents. The child is deprived of even having a chance to grow as the parents have

“clipped [the child’s] wings before [he] learned to fly” (“Dyers Eve, ...And Justice For

All , 1988).

I’m in hell without you Cannot cope without you two Shocked at the world I see Innocent victim please rescue me (“Dyers Eve”, ...And Justice for All , 1988)

28

This same dependency is also seen in “Invisible Kid”.

I’m ok, just go away I’m ok, but please don’t stray too far (“Invisible Kid”, St.Anger , 2003)

Although the current relationship with his parents is damaging the child’s development, the child is neither able nor allowed to escape. If this overcontrolling image is what the child in the lyrics is brought up to, how does it affect his future development? Easterbrooks and Goldberg 43 refer to a study by Main & Weston 44 who studied associations between attachment to mother and father in infancy and empathy during toddlerhood. According to them, “toddlers who were securely attached to both parents were by far the most empathic, while secure attachment to one parent only was associated with more empathy when the secure attachment was to mother than to father.

The least empathic children were those with insecure attachments to both parents”

(Easterbrooks & Goldbridge 1993, 225-226). Easterbrooks & Goldbridge’s (1993, 233) own study found “support for the contention that insecurely attached children would exhibit the less adaptive pattern of overcontrolling of impulses and emotions.” 45 The consequences of this will be discussed in the next chapter, but first a different look at the relationship between parents and the child.

After growing up and turning away from his parents, the child eventually seeks a return back to his parents. In “Thorn Within” the character reflects on his father as a

43 Easterbrooks, M. Ann & Goldberg, Wendy A. 1993. “Security of Toddler-Parent Attachment: Relation to children’s sociopersonality functioning during kindergarten.” In Attachment in the Preschool Years: Theory, Research and Intervention. eds. Greenberg, Mark T., Cicchetti, Dante, Cummings, E. Mark, 221- 244. Chicago: University of Chicago Press. 44 Main, M. & Weston, D. R. 1981. “The quality of the toddler’s relationship to mother and to father: Related to conflict behavior and the readiness to establish new relationships.” Child Development 52 , pp. 932-940. 45 The researchers themselves note that the data is based on a very small number of cases of joint insecure attachments and abstain from drawing strong conclusions. 29

role model and associates him with a strong authority figure (God) by referring to him with a sort of prayer.

Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned Find me guilty when true guilt is from within So point your fingers, point right at me For I am shadows and will follow you One and the same are we (“Thorn Within”, Load , 1996)

The character recognises how much of his doings is dependent on the kind of role model he has had. Not only does he suffer from feelings of guilt himself, but also acts as a target of his father’s inability to grasp his own feelings, which the father transfers onto his son. Here the saying “like father, like son” seems to be an inevitable outcome.

A song with the emphasis more specifically on the mother is “Mama Said”.

Whereas in “Thorn Within” the character relates to the father and sees his father in himself, “Mama Said” has more to do with regret and perhaps disappointment. Since the

1990s, feminist writers have called for greater mother-son connection and have positioned it as central to the reconfiguration of traditional masculinity (Flood et.al.

2007, 445). The song depicts the return of the prodigal son, who has grown to the extent that a return to the mother is possible. The character sees the problems related to his past, but compared to the God-like figure of the father, who may be unassailable regarding emotions, the mother is beyond reach for another reason.

Never I ask of you but never I gave But you gave me your emptiness I now take to my grave (. . .) Yeah, I took your love for granted And all the things you said to me I need your arms to welcome me, but a cold stone’s all I see (“Mama Said”, Load , 1996)

“Mama Said” does start out on a positive note as “Mama, she has taught me well /

Told me when I was young / Son, your life’s an open book / Don’t close it ‘fore it’s 30

done” (“Mama Said”, Load , 1996). The mother has tried to indicate that, for the male character, any ambitions he may have in life, they are achievable as long as he does not give up before even trying. The rebellion (“’Rebel’, my new last name / Wild blood in my veins (“Mama Said”, Load , 1996)) on the part of the male character has been somewhat in vain as there does not seem to have been, apart from his parents, any particular object. In this case, however, any potential lessons passed on from a parent to a child have seemed to become overwhelmed by the “emptiness”, which has become a natural component of the male psyche.

Two songs that have indications of coming to terms with the past are “Fixxxer” and “Purify”. Here the character is becoming conscious of the effect the past has on a person and is looking for some sort of key to strip the weight of the past experiences.

Can you heal what father’s done? Or fix this hole in a mother’s son? Can you heal the broken worlds within? Can you strip away so we may start again? (“Fixxxer”, ReLoad , 1997)

Kimmel 46 discusses feminist psychoanalysis and states that “the problem with men isn’t that they have not separated enough from the mother, but that they have separated too much .” The idea of manhood being constantly tested and proved means rejecting femininity and detaching from women. The result of this is a devaluation of women. “But if mothers embody responsibility, care, and nurture, why should men’s movement leaders counsel that we reject mother and run away, attempting to ‘heal the father wound’? Rather, we should heal the mother wound, close the gap between the mother we’ve rejected” (Kimmel 1996, 318). In the lyrics for “Dyers Eve” and

“Fixxxer”, for example, no real distinction between the mother and father is made. They

46 Kimmel, Michael S. cop. 1996. Manhood in America: a cultural history. New York: Free Press. (p. 318) 31

are both treated side by side. “Dear mother / Dear father / What is this hell you have put me through” (“Dyers Eve”, ...And Justice for All , 1988).

In “Purify” the past is seen as covering layers which need to be physically removed with turpentine before any sort of progress towards a more whole spirit can be made.

Strip the layers off My turpentine (. . .) Strip the past of mine My sweet turpentine (“Purify”, St.Anger , 2003)

Juha Siltala 47 depicts the problems that result from the sort of negligence on the part of the parent depicted earlier. For the child, alienation from reality and his own feelings begin when a nurturing mother is unable to notice the needs of the child. The child then loads the world and himself with negativity, but spares his mother, who is needed. In his undivided world, the child is unable to explain his mother’s turning away with anything else than his own insufficiency. The need to have some sort of closure in the form of absolution is, at least seemingly, beyond reach. The insecurity in the early relationships has become a part of the structuring of the self and all future relationships need to be experienced in the same way (Siltala 1994, 184).

“Identification of internal emotional experience requires the ability to differentiate among states of arousal, interpret these states, and apply appropriate labels (e.g.,

“happy”, “frightened”).” 48 When children – as in the case of the child in Metallica’s lyrics – are deprived access to consistent models of affect and behaviour, the child will

47 Siltala, Juha. 1994. “Tunteita vastaan panssaroituneet soturit” In Miestä rakennetaan – maskuliinisuuksia puretaan. Sipilä, Jorma & Tiihonen, Arto (toim.), 181-202. Tampere: Vastapaino, 1994. (p. 184) 48 Cook, Alexandra & Blaustein, Margaret & Spinazzola, Joseph & van der Kolk, Bessel. 2003. Complex Trauma in Children and Adolescents. [Internet] White Paper from the National Child Traumatic Stress Network Complex Trauma Task Force. (p.12) Available from . 32

lack a framework through which to interpret experience. Cook et. al. (2003, 12) continue that “[f]ollowing the identification of emotional state, a child must be able to express emotions safely, and then to modulate or regulate internal experience.

Complexly traumatized children show impairment in both of these skills.” The development of the child in the lyrics and his ability to handle emotions will be analysed next. 33

4. Anger, fear, (loss of) control within

So build a wall behind it, crawl and hide until it’s light (“Hero of the Day”, Load , 1996)

Responsive, sensitive caretaking and positive early life experiences allow children to develop a model of self as generally worthy and competent. In contrast, repetitive experiences of harm and/or rejection by significant others, and the associated failure to develop age- appropriate competencies are likely to lead to a sense of self as ineffective, helpless, deficient and unlovable (Cook et. al. 2003, 15-16)

This helplessness is clear in “Trapped Under Ice”, which is a nightmarish epic of a person both drowning and freezing while unable to live out his life fully. The lack of capable role models has caused freezing of emotions and the feeling of immobility.

I don’t know how to live through this hell Woken up, I’m still locked in this shell Frozen soul, frozen down to the core Break the ice, I can’t take anymore (. . .) Wrapped up tight, cannot move, can’t break free Hand of doom has a tight grip on me (“Trapped Under Ice”, Ride The Lightning , 1984)

Feelings of helplessness can turn into frustration and self-pity. In “My Friend of

Misery”, the issues of masculine power and ability have become attempts at owning abject “superpowers” (abject in the sense that these abilities may perhaps be something worth doing away with) as dwelling in self-pity is taking over and masculinity is tested and proved only by carrying the weight of the world. Omnipotence and the ability to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders is all well and good, but is that something worth pursuing?

34

Misery You insist that the weight of the world Should be on your shoulders (. . .) You’ll take it on all yourself Remember, misery loves company (“My Friend of Misery”, Metallica , 1991)

The belief that a man needs to be capable of succeeding in life is incongruous with the inability to handle basic emotions.

The reaching for power and success (“Dig for gold, dig for fame / You dig to make your name”; “”, Load , 1996) may not end up working out as one had planned.

Then it all crashes down And you break your crown And you point your finger But there’s no one around Just want one thing Just to play the king But the castle crumbled And you’re left with just a name Where’s your crown, King Nothing? (“King Nothing”, Load , 1996)

“The Struggle Within” exemplifies patterns of using too much control over oneself to the extent that the masculine success is no longer within reach. The man has closed up to such a degree that has made grabbing opportunities impossible. Impossible, but seemingly, while being disastrous, not necessarily a bad thing.

Struggle within it suits you fine Struggle within you ruin Struggle within you seal your own coffin (“The Struggle Within”, Metallica , 1991)

The International Encyclopedia of Men and Masculinities (2007, 16) suggests that boys learn that showing vulnerable feelings (grief, fear and shame) is a sign of 35

weakness. Scheff and Retzinger 49 argue that shame is the “master emotion”, which

“may interfere with the effective management of [other] emotions; we are often ashamed of our emotions”.

First steps include suppressing these feelings and acting out anger instead. These feelings are first hidden from others with emotionless talk, withdrawal or silence and eventually, through repetition, withdrawal from self. “Men hide feelings in order to withhold information which might give others power over them” (Middleton 1992,

121). Beverley Skeggs 50 notes how the articulation of vulnerability is not seen as a prerogative of masculinity. Men do express emotions, but only certain forms of expression are seen to be legitimate. The emotionally closed and distant male is often seen as the definitional feature of masculinity. Skeggs (1993, 22) continues by discussing how in the midst of regulating emotional expression, rage and anger are emotions that are limited in their ability to express the irrational. Rage is seen as a justified reaction to frustration.

In “St.Anger”, the control over emotions has been taken one step further. The negative emotion is sanctified and used, at least theoretically, as a positive resource. The process of not letting the negative emotions affect negatively requires healthy recognition of emotions and self-contemplation. “Children whose parents repeatedly dismiss or reject them may learn to disregard or distrust their emotions, relationships, and even their own bodies” (Cook et.al. 2003, 9). This dismission, which the child in the lyrics experienced, has been discussed earlier. Against that background, it is even harder growing up to have a strong understanding of one’s own emotions and to understand those of others.

49 Scheff, Thomas J. and Retzinger, Suzanne M. cop. 2001. Emotions and Violence: shame and rage in destructive conflicts. Lincoln: Authors Guild Backinprint.com. (Introduction, xix) 50 Skeggs, Beverley. 1993. “Theorizing Masculinity” In Mieheyden tiellä. Maskuliinisuus ja kulttuuri. eds. Ahokas, Pirjo & Lahti, Matti & Sihvonen, Jukka, 13-35. Jyväskylä: Jyväskylän yliopisto. (p. 21) 36

And I want my anger to be healthy And I want my anger just for me And I need my anger not to control Yeah, and I want my anger to be me And I need to set my anger free (“St.Anger”, St.Anger , 2003)

Building on the theories of Stearns and Stearns 51 , and Lewis 52 , Scheff and

Retzinger (2001, 18) propose that “all anger – not just excessive anger – is forbidden in modern societies, because people have been socialized to be ashamed of it”. Attempts at this self-contemplation can also be seen in “Frantic”.

Do I have the strength To know how I’ll go? Can I find it inside To deal with what I shouldn’t know? (“Frantic”, St.Anger , 2003)

The protagonist is realising the effects and consequences of his desire for emotional control. The self-reflecting “I’ve worn out always being afraid” (“Frantic”,

St.Anger , 2003) in “Frantic” is another example of this more hopeful side of the developing mind. What can be achieved with this contemplating? The best possible outcome can be read in the poetry of “Low Man’s Lyric”. Disregarding the aspect of substance abuse in the lyrics for now, some expression of emotion is available here.

Unfortunately, the male is not able to express this outcoming side of his in public or to a clear ‘other’ (“confess all to the rain” ( ReLoad , 1997)), but writing a letter is by far an improvement compared to the closed up man. Despite the apparent melancholy, the song is, however, a clear indication of the ongoing process of emotional progress.

51 See Stearns, C. and Stearns, P. 1986. Anger: The Struggle for Control in America’s History . Chicago: University of Chicago Press. 52 See, for example, Lewis, H. 1971. Shame and Guilt in Neurosis. New York: International Universities Press. 37

So low the sky is all I see All I want from you is forgive me So you bring this poor dog in from rain Though he just wants right back out again I cry to the alleyway Confess all to the rain But I lie, lie straight to the mirror The one I’ve broken to match my face (“Low Man’s Lyric”, ReLoad , 1997)

To cope with the powerlessness mentioned earlier, masculinity involves the regulation of self and others. Thinking through a framework of traditional masculinity, it would include controlling the feminine through homophobic behaviour and the degradation of women. “[T]he masculine ego is imagined as closing itself off completely, maintaining total defence. To be unified it must be masculine all the way through and so the feminine will always appear as something other or different and so a security risk.”53 “Hero of the Day” presents the man longing for his home.

The window burns to light the way back home A light that warms no matter where they’ve gone (. . .) Keepers of the flames, do ya feel your name? Can’t you hear your babies cryin’? Mama they try and break me (. . .) Don’t want your aid, but the fist I’ve made for years can’t hold off fear No, I’m not all me, so please excuse me while I tend to how I feel (. . .) So build a wall behind it, crawl and hide until it’s light (“Hero of the Day”, Load , 1996)

The character questions whether his parents can identify their child’s pain (although it is unclear whether the parents are even approachable). Powers from without are trying to control and break the character. For years his answer to this has been anger and a clenched fist, but he has learned that it may not help him much longer. The somewhat positive point is that he seems willing to toil over his emotions. However, there still

53 Easthope, Antony. 1992. What a Man’s Gotta Do – The Masculine Myth in Popular Culture. New York: Routledge. (p. 42) 38

remains the eagerness to crawl inside his fortress of defence. Other than this, representations of the traditional armoured men of heavy metal are scarce in the lyrics.

If we are to look for examples of subordinating women in the lyrics of Metallica, the results are almost non-existent. The only women that appear in Metallica’s lyrics, disregarding the odd, exclamatory instances of “baby”, in the data is the figure of mother. Traditionally, popular music has been the arena for men to express their feminine emotions. “[Men] address women as ‘baby’ and expect to be addressed as

‘baby’ in return” (Easthope 1992, 143). Control over women is manifested by worshipping and idealising them. It is true that perhaps the images of women in heavy metal do differ from the imagery of women in more traditional rock music, but perhaps the ultimate method of controlling women has been introduced in the data: making them not exist. Whether this is a result of a recognised action or simply a failure to deal with the other sex is open to discussion.

The process of reflecting, as opposed to the broken mirror in “Low Man’s Lyric”, is also used in “Dirty Window”.

I see my reflection in the window It looks diff’rent, so diff’rent than what you see (. . .) This house is clean, baby; this house is clean (. . .) I drink from the cup of denial I’m judging the world from my throne (“Dirty Window”, St.Anger , 2003)

The male is having doubts about himself and his masculinity: “Am I who I think I am”

(“Dirty Window”, St.Anger , 2003).

Although we saw one possible outcome for this identifying with an authority figure (“King Nothing”), the foundations for the house of control have not crumbled.

The all-powerful entity of self is complete and it has assumed every role in the “chain of 39

command”. “I’m judge and I’m jury and I’m executioner too” (“Dirty Window”,

St.Anger , 2003). Perhaps recognising the “cup of denial” could be considered a step into the right direction.

“Self-control is at the centre of rational control; so masculinity is always a state of constant fear of loss of control” (Skeggs 1993, 16).

All within my hands Squeeze it in, crush it down All within my hands Hold it dear, hold it suffocate (. . .) Love is control I’ll die if I let go (“All Within My Hands”, St.Anger , 2003)

“All Within My Hands” is a prime example of the sort of control that is considered typically masculine. Easthope (1992, 166) notes that masculinity attempts to be one substance all the way through. Thus all threats within and without must be controlled.

Within femininity and male homosexual desire are seen as detrimental to a “pure” masculinity; without women and the feminine. The nature of the song above is analogous with the rest of the data. As mentioned earlier, even though songs such as

“All Within My Hands” can be read to include another, perhaps a feminine, person, clear indications of such are missing. Here, the necessity to control is so powerful that letting go of the position of control would be harmful to the self or even result in death.

This concentrating on the self and the manifestations of vulnerability are something which have perhaps distanced Metallica from what has been generally considered a thematically “approved” landscape for heavy metal lyrics. “[W]ithin the context of the commercial success of metal in the 1980s, Metallica’s ruminations on control and individual independence attracted many rock critics who pointed to the band’s lyrical topics as refreshingly different from what they saw as the trite and macho sexuality of 40

other popular metal bands” (Pillsbury 2006, 81). This sort of introspectiveness is even more evident on Metallica’s later work. This, however, should not come as any surprise when we consider that the time span between Kill ‘Em All (1983) and

(2008) is 25 years.

[L]yrical themes in contemporary metal music are increasingly introspective and describe an antagonism between the self and outside forces. This antagonism is illustrated through elaborate descriptions of “negative” feelings, including depression, grief, regret, confusion, and so on. (Rafalovich 2006, 23)

One might conclude that if such change was not the case, perhaps the mental development of the person behind the lyrics might be questioned.

Another example of the other can be found in “The Outlaw Torn”. Some indications of self-reflection have been discussed earlier and here we find evidence of where that process might lead.

(Hear me) And if I close my mind in fear, please pry it open (See me) And if my face becomes sincere, beware (Hold me) And when I start to come undone, stitch me together (Save me) And when you see me strut, remind me of what left this outlaw torn (“The Outlaw Torn”, Load , 1996)

Rafalovich (2006, 23) notes that “[s]eeking comfort in others is rarely explored as the self retreats into isolation, hatred, and self-destruction”. In “The Outlaw Torn”, identifying and accepting emotions, such as fear, has brought about the recognition of positive inadequacy. Positive in the sense, that the apparent need for “taking it like a man” and the need to survive on his own seem to have, if not disappeared, faded to some extent. The desire for someone (perhaps the feminine other?) to “hear me; see me; hold me; save me” are something not very common in the world of macho sexuality within the realm of metal bands. It is a form of catharsis by the male character (the 41

writer and narrator) as the listener/reader is invited to look inside of the subject. Clearly the need and desire for the acceptance of the other is not sexual in nature.

Also within the theme of self-contemplation is “The Unforgiven III”. As in “King

Nothing”, here the masculine course of accomplishment has not proven to be as easy and rewarding as one might have hoped.

Set sail to sea, but pulled off course By the light of golden treasure (. . .) Search for seas of gold, how come it’s got so cold? (“The Unforgiven III”, Death Magnetic , 2008)

The aspect of self-pity will be further discussed in the next chapter, but “The

Unforgiven III” depicts it very clearly and it would be thoughtless not to discuss it here.

The male character sees his life as a disappointment of masculine prowess.

These days drift on inside a fog Thick and suffocating. His sinking life, outside its hell Inside, intoxicating. He’s run aground, like his life, Water much too shallow. Slipping fast, down with his ship, Fading in the shadows. Now a castaway (“The Unforgiven III”, Death Magnetic , 2008) .

The male has become disillusioned with his life, which consists of floating inside a thick fog. He is suffering both from within and without and has been unable to avoid the shoals of his life. The male captain seems to know how to free his ship, but:

Forgive me. Forgive me not. Why can’t I forgive me? (. . .) So how can I blame you, when it’s me I can’t forgive? (“The Unforgiven III”, Death Magnetic , 2008) 42

5. Mental health, addictions

No one but me can save myself, but it’s too late (“Fade To Black”, Ride The Lightning , 1984)

The idea of a rock idol dying young after a short, but tumultuous life is not uncommon. It is a part of the male myth within the rock culture which has traditionally glorified “hard living”.

Men were supposed to be internalisers; their emotional experiences found expression only as physiological arousal rather than through speech or behaviour, resulting in a litany of personally, relationally and socially undesirable consequences including drink and drug abuse, dangerous driving, violent outbursts, loneliness, depression and psychophysiological disorders such as headaches, backaches and ulcers. (Flood et.al. 2007, 172)

We saw glimpses of a brighter future for the lyrical self in the previous chapter as signs of emotional progress appeared. The other possible outcome is that the process of emotional closing induces problems which may present themselves as addictions or even mental problems.

The pain of constructing and wearing this armour is numbed by substance abuse.

As well as associating “Sweet Amber” with alcohol, in “The House Jack Built”, the soothing effect of the drug is strong enough to keep the negative outcomes of drug abuse out of mind.

43

Open door, so I walk inside Close my eyes, find my place to hide And I shake as I take it in Let the show begin (. . .) This body, my temple, this temple it tilts (. . .) Open door, yes, I walk inside Swallow me so the pain subsides (“The House Jack Built”, Load , 1996)

“Master of Puppets” depicts a struggle with drug addiction from the perspective of the drug itself.

End of passion play, crumbling away I’m your source of self-destruction Veins that pump with fear, sucking darkest clear Leading on your deaths’ construction (. . .) I will occupy I will help you die I will run through you Now I rule you too (“Master of Puppets”, Master of Puppets , 1986)

Fear in the veins has here not been handled in a necessary manner and the worst has come to pass. Identifying and accepting fear and other emotions, which have been traditionally seen as unacceptable for men, as not something harmful is needed in order to have the ability to organise the masculine mind. Here, the mastery of the drug is evidently too much and ultimately, death is inevitable. “By competing ruthlessly both with himself and with his peers, by making his flesh submit helplessly to the cruelty of his will, he attempts to prove that he alone can take it like a man” (Savran 1998, 128).

Easthope (1992, 53) has also discussed the subject of harming the body: “Masochism, the pleasure of being hurt, perfectly combines with the narcissism of the masculine ego.

If I can hurt my body freely, by an act of my own will, then my mind is proved to be master of my body”. The addiction could also be seen as lack of willpower and self- 44

control. As mentioned, rationality, which is considered essentially masculine, is strongly affected by substance abuse.

In the song “Cure” the alcohol is analogous with medicine.

He thinks the answer’s cold and in his hand He takes his medicine The man takes another bullet Yeah, he’s been fooled again (“Cure”, Load , 1996)

The character seems to have lost control and is searching for answers from drinking.

The fact that the drink resembles a bullet is quite a clear indication as to the nature of effects this “answer” will have. The ample repetition of “I do believe” (Cure, Load ,

1996) suggests that masculine reason has vanished and all that remains is faith.

According to Skeggs (1993, 26), the body is a vehicle of capability and a need exists to measure up to the standards, performance and judgment of others. In “Some

Kind of Monster”, the lyrical self is dissected in a way similar to the monster of

Frankenstein. The Frankenstein monster represents the great Western striving for reason and omnipotence, which is forced in the end to recognise its own product: something abhorred by nature. The self is made up of different pieces of which each seems to represent some kind of flaw in the self regardless of whether it is directed towards the self or others in the form of betrayal, violence or control.

45

These are the eyes that can’t see me These are the hands that drop your trust (. . .) This is the fist that grinds you down (. . .) These are the legs in circles run (. . .) These are the lips that taste no freedom (. . .) These are the claws that scratch these wounds This is the pain that never leaves This is the tongue that whips you down (“Some Kind of Monster”, St.Anger , 2003)

Another, however not in any way more positive, outcome besides the succumbing to addiction for Hetfield’s Frankenstein in the lyrics is that the inability to handle emotions results in mental problems. “Poor Twisted Me” presents a man for whom the dwelling in despair is overwhelming, but somehow even desirable.

Oh, poor twisted me I feast on sympathy I chew on suffer Yeah, I chew on agony Swallow whole the pain But, oh, it’s too good to be That all this misery just for oh, poor twisted me (. . .) Woe, woe is me Such a burden to be The poor mistreated me (“Poor Twisted Me”, Load , 1996)

One might argue that the assumed lack of affection and attachment has become habitual and even celebratory. Here the overdramatisation of self-pity and the depiction of the male as a victim are reminiscent to what was seen earlier in “My Friend of Misery”, where masculinity was tested by taking “the weight of the world” on masculine shoulders. It might be suggested that accepting earlier sufferings and forgiving the ones that may have caused it would possibly have resulted in maturing without a twisted attachment in self-pity. The passage above represents the male hoarding self-centred 46

misery unto himself while searching for attention and approval. The inability to realise the passing nature of, for example, sorrow creates the “Woe is me”-reaction, which the male mind sees as unmasculine. With time this self-victimisation will spiral into anger towards everything which may, or may not, have caused the suffering of the male.

“Battery” is very much keeping with the theme of anger controlling the male behaviour mixing it with mental deficiencies. Here the male is without reason. When this goes to the extremes the result may be “Battery”.

Hypnotizing power, crushing all that cower (. . .) Smashing through the boundaries Lunacy has found me Cannot stop the battery Pounding out aggression Turns into obsession Cannot kill the battery (. . .) Crushing all deceivers, mashing non-believers Never ending potency Hungry violence seeker, feeding off the weaker Breeding on insanity (“Battery”, Master of Puppets , 1986)

Power has become “hypnotizing”, aggression is an “obsession” and they seem overwhelming. The inexhaustible control of aggression leads to a state where violence functions as an addiction as it is sought after. Rafalovich (2006, 26) notes how the contemporary “metal genre is adept at describing an isolated and broken self that appears wholly subdued by internal and external circumstances and is equally effective at conveying a self that stands apart in its ability to subdue”.

When all fails and the mind is unable to cope with the stress of constant upholding of defences, the outcome can even be insanity. The images of mental weakness are somewhat at odds with the omnipotent man of the traditional male image in heavy metal. “Since the social contexts within which heavy metal circulates (primarily 47

Western societies in the late twentieth century) are highly patriarchal, it is not surprising to find that an important concern of metal is to represent male power and female subordination” (Walser 1993, Introduction xvi). It should be noted that Walser’s comment dates back 15 years and perhaps times have, if not completely, changed to some extent regarding patriarchy in the social context. “Welcome Home (Sanitarium)” presents the image of the male mind in a mental institute.

Build my fear of what’s out there And cannot breathe the open air Whisper things into my brain Assuring me that I’m insane (. . .) Mirror stares back hard Kill, it’s such a friendly word Seems the only way For reaching out again (“Welcome Home (Sanitarium)”, Master of Puppets , 1986)

There are hints of manipulation here also as the diagnosis of insanity apparently comes from without. The cause for the violent inclinations could be argued to originate from the confinement itself. The longer he is kept institutionalised the smaller the probability of freeing oneself peacefully from the clutches of this cycle.

In “The Frayed Ends of Sanity”, mental problems are even identified by name, while it is evident that the mind is suffering and perhaps lost. This sort of representing man and his mind – with his vulnerability in the open – as powerless, even broken, is what has differentiated Metallica from many metal bands.

48

Twisting under schizophrenia Falling deep into dementia (. . .) I’m the slave of fear, my captor (. . .) Loss of interest, question, wonder Waves of fear they pull me under (. . .) Into ruin I am sinking (“The Frayed Ends of Sanity”, ...And Justice for All , 1988)

Reminiscent of “The Frayed Ends of Sanity”, “” can be read as an inner script by a schizophrenic mind.

They They betray I’m your only true friend now (. . .) I’m your dream, mind astray (. . .) You You’re my mask You’re my cover, my shelter (. . .) Do Do my work Do my dirty work, scapegoat Do Do my deeds For you’re the one who’s shamed (. . .) Hate I’m your hate I’m your hate when you want love (. . .) I’m your life And I no longer care (“Sad But True”, Metallica , 1991)

It is the voice from within, which is eating away at the insecurities of the man. It is rendering itself with an aura of reliability and making the male yield to the darker side of human nature. It is the one who is creating hate when the preference might be something else. The fractured mind and identity is tormented by a psychological energy 49

from within which has become reality. This reality, however, does not have the best interest of the man in mind.

However depressing the ideas of mental illness are, it is not necessarily the final stop. “Fade to Black” presents an image of the man at an end after the mental struggles have proven too overwhelming and there simply is no positive resolution in sight.

I have lost the will to live Simply nothing more to give There is nothing more for me Need the end to set me free (. . .) Cannot stand this hell I feel Emptiness is filling me To the point of agony (“Fade To Black”, Ride the Lightning , 1984)

Cummings and Cicchetti (1993, 353) note that “insecure attachment might be observed initially in infancy and may be related to an increased risk of becoming depressed in the future.” The lack of decent parenting which provided insufficient resources and an unstable foundation to build a whole personality resulted in addiction and mental problems. This struggling has now proved to be too much and only one solution seems to remain: suicide. 50

6. Social critique

Do you feel what I feel? Bittering distress Who decides what you express? (“Eye of the Beholder”, ...And Justice For All , 1988)

6.1. Metallica as white American men

Kimmel, Hearn, and Connell 54 explain how “all human cultures have ways of accounting for the positions of women and men in society and have different ways of picturing the nature of men and the patterns of practice we call masculinity”. David

Savran (1998, 4) brings forth the concept of the white male as victim in U.S. culture.

Savran notes that Norman Mailer introduced “the White negro”: “the hipster: ‘the

American existentialist,’ the new ‘frontiersman in the Wild West of American night life.” According to Mailer “the hipster – whom he assumes to be both male and white – rebels against a society that guarantees ‘a slow death by conformity,’ and, abjuring his race and class privilege, voluntarily takes up a ‘Negro’ positionality.”

Savran (1998, 5) argues that:

...a marginalized and dissident masculinity of the 1950s has become increasingly central and hegemonic in U.S. culture. [Savran’s work] documents the transformation of the discontented white hipster (and, later, the rebellious hippie or political radical) into several variations upon the theme of the white male as victim: the angry white male, the sensitive male, the male searching for the Wild Man within, the white supremacist, the spiritual male.

Savran (1998, 5) remarks that “a new masculinity became hegemonic in the 1970s because it represents an attempt by white men to respond to and regroup in the face of particular social and economic challenges.” These challenges include, for example, the

54 Kimmel, Michael S., Hearn, Jeff, Connell, R.W. (eds.). cop. 2005. Handbook of studies on men & masculinities. Thousand Oaks: Sage. (pp. 4-5) 51

reemergence of the feminist movement, the rise of gay and lesbian rights movements.

The authority of whiteness and heterosexuality is built upon their ability to set themselves as the norm, against which everything else is seen as deviant. According to

Dyer 55 , the dominant ideology in a society rebuts the significance of class, race and gender.

Taiteentutkimuksessa viittaus tekijään asetti yksilön sosiaalisen yläpuolelle – ja käytännössä tämä kaikkien muiden yläpuolelle nostettu yksilö oli heteroseksuaali, valkoinen, keski- tai yläluokkainen mies. Tekstejä käsiteltiin pahimmillaan vain tekijän elämäkerran kuvittajina, parhaimmillaan ilmauksena hänen sisäisestä elämästään. Tämä oli räikeässä ristiriidassa sekä sen ilmeisen yhteensopimattomuuden kanssa, joka vallitsee useimpien tekstien ja niiden tekijöiden persoonien välillä, että kulttuurintuotannon lukuisten julkisten funktioiden kanssa. (Dyer 2002, 76)

The aim in the previous chapters has not been to systematically concentrate on how the data reflects Hetfield’s personal experiences. It is important to identify the author (in this case) as a white, heterosexual male in order to have a recognised setting for masculinity as a framework. The data does not provide any contrast in the form of different races appearing in the lyrics. Thus the necessity to emphasise the whiteness of the central character is not great. The lyrics have been generally credited to James

Hetfield and some links to his real life are “general knowledge”. However, the multilayered nature of songwriting due to working in a band is worth mentioning.

Distinguishing Metallica as a group of white men works as part of the foundation onto which this analysis can be constructed. Dyer (2002, 180), using examples from movies, notes how representations of whiteness are always something different: Brief Encounter

(Great Britain, 1945) is not about white people but the English middle-class; The

55 Dyer, Richard. 2002. Älä katso!: seksuaalisuus ja rotu viihteen kuvastossa. Tampere: Vastapaino. (p.34) 52

Godfather (USA, 1972) is about Italian-Americans, not white; The Color Purple (USA,

1985), however, is more specifically about black people than the poor in the South.

Savran (1998, 44) notes how women in the writings of Beat writers around the

1950s function as girlfriends, whores, wives, and mothers. They are almost exclusively defined by their relationship to men and often even erased.

6.2. America in the 1980s

The members of Metallica have been born in the early 1960s and thus, when trying to locate the lyrics in an adequate context, a look into history is advisable. The first lyrics produced by Hetfield (around 20 years old at the time) came to life in the early 1980s, but what sort of society had he grown up in during the previous decade and what was happening in the 1980s?

By the 1960s, the aftermath of the Second World War had to some extent faded.

The middle class had begun to prosper and a consumerist culture had arrived into

America. Suburbs swelled due to the baby boom.

The 1960s was the decade for the Civil Rights movement that aimed to abolish racial discrimination against African Americans. The so-called Beat Generation changed into hippies. “Like the beats, they had a profound disdain for commodity culture, for a technocratic, militarist, and corporate society, and for the social and sexual norms of the postwar domestic revival” (Savran 1998, 114). The hippie movement saw the appearance of men move towards a more feminized and performative direction.

During the 1950s, the masculine identity had revolved around a “conflict between the desire for occupational stability and fatherhood and the nostalgia for an old-fashioned, entrepreneurial masculinity” (Savran 1998, 123). Men assumed the sole role of provider with the economic prosperity of American middle class. The independent, competitive, 53

and aggressive masculinity did not sit well with the new ideas of masculinity. The idea that a man could appear both masculine and feminine was gaining ground. Whereas a struggle between the two masculinities was taking place, the role of the “new man” was not that evident. “For if the new man was anxious about his masculine identification, he was terrified of transgressing heterosexual boundaries. (. . .) [T]he feminized white male was constantly struggling with anxiety over his sexual identity and was constantly having to prove his heterosexuality” (Savran 1998, 132).

Considering that Hetfield was in his twenties when he started his career as

Metallica’s main (lyrical) in the 1980s, it might be wise to think about the society in which he had grown up. The 1970s was a decade of crisis in the US both domestically and internationally. Internationally (and politically), the loss of the

Vietnam War dominated the decade. On the home front, political scandals such as

Watergate and the economic challenges involved in the “transition from an industrial to a postindustrial (or service) economy” 56 demanded much of the attention. With the rise of mass-mediated culture the political disasters of the 1970s have been seen as symptoms of a moral decline in the United States. According to Kimmel (1996, 333), the legacy of the Self-Made Man has nearly two centuries of American history under its belt. The term self-made was first coined by Henry Clay in 1832, after which it quickly caught on. By the 1850s, a “veritable cult of the Self-Made Man had appeared (Kimmel

1996, 26). He argues, however, that this trail “is a spiral path leading only back to itself, to a relentless retesting of an unprovable ambition” (Kimmel 1996, 333). What Kimmel is after is that the proving of masculinity in a public arena will fail as it “strive[s] to achieve what can never be achieved” (Kimmel 196, 333).

56 Savran 1998, 164. 54

In 1985, popular music was brought under intense scrutiny by a newly formed committee – the Parents Music Resource Center (PMRC). “Responding to what some saw as a crisis of extreme music” 57 , the PMRC was formed by a group of four women led by Tipper Gore. According to the PMRC, popular music (especially hard rock, punk rock and heavy metal) played a large role in the increase of violence, rape, teenage pregnancy, and teen suicide.

The PMRC progressed quickly in Reagan-era Washington. Its wonderfully simple explanation for existing problems cost nothing and blamed a segment of the populace that was not particularly politically active – or even of voting age. Furthermore, to oppose the PMRC worldview, in the eyes of conservatives, was to advocate moral degeneracy of the worst kind. (Christe 2003, 119)

The same fundamentalist view had been escalating since the days of Elvis Presley when preachers had begun burning rock and roll records (although the government had been more concerned with communists than Satanists) (Christe 2003, 128). As a result, in

December 1985 58 , the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) agreed to put labels on selected releases stating “Parental Advisory: Explicit Lyrics”.

Fresh from the aftermath of PMRC’s debates, Metallica released Master of

Puppets in 1986 including “Leper Messiah”, which addressed the hypocrisy within the debate about metal and morality.

Send me money, send me green Heaven you will meet Make a contribution And you’ll get a better seat Bow to leper messiah (“Leper Messiah”, Master of Puppets , 1986)

57 Christe 2003, 118. 58 Christe 2003, 124. 55

In the form of a stinging attack against televangelists and corruption in religion, the song tackles issues of manipulation and power. Talking about a “Sunday fix” (“Leper

Messiah”, Master of Puppets , 1986), setting traps and hypnotizing, the song juxtaposes religion and its agents with the addictiveness of a drug.

6.3. Corruption, control (without)

According to Kimmel (1996, 6), “manhood is less about the drive for domination and more about the fear of others dominating us, having power or control over us.” In the case of Metallica, Pillsbury (2006, 60) identifies two kinds of control relevant to the band in the 1980s:

(1) Control by others, typically institutional forces in society or other influential segments of society, directed at individuals; and (2) An individual’s ability to resist those types of control for the explicit purpose of maintaining personal independence. These two angles share the recognition of the ever-present struggle over the power to define selfhood.

One type of reaction against this control from without is apparent in “Whiplash”.

The song manifests violence at a concert, which serves as an outlet for individual rage.

There is a feeling deep inside That drives you fuckin’ mad A feeling of a hammerhead You need it oh so bad (“Whiplash”, Kill ‘Em All , 1983)

Thus far we have seen how anger and rage have been termed as the few acceptable emotions for men to exhibit in public. In “Whiplash”, “the concrete representation of conflict produced by violence operates as a metaphor for the conflicts raised by social domination and subordination and the distribution of power in society” (Pillsbury 2006,

29). 56

Another example of a resistance towards the control and manipulation from without is evident in “Escape”. The man aims to live his life free from society which is trying to prevent him from doing what he wants to do and what he wants to be.

Rape my mind and destroy my feelings Don’t tell me what to do I don’t care now, ‘cause I’m on my side And I can see through you Feed my brain with your so called standards Who says that I ain’t right (“Escape”, Ride the Lightning , 1984)

Metallica’s perhaps most obvious and straightforward criticism towards society is presented with two of the songs on ...And Justice for All (1988) – “Eye of the

Beholder”, which can be read as criticising the limiting of citizens’ freedom by law and the title song “...And Justice for All”. In the context of the latter part of the 1980s, one possibility would be to read “Eye of the Beholder” (as well as “Escape”) as a statement against the aforementioned acts by the PMRC.

Doesn’t matter what you see Or into it what you read You can do it your own way If it’s done just how I say Independence limited Freedom of choice Choice is made for you my friend Freedom of speech Speech is words that they will bend Freedom with their exception (“Eye of the Beholder”, ...And Justice for All , 1988)

According to Christe (2003, 204) the themes of economic inequality and the justice system could not have come at a better time as Americans were ready to face reality.

“As recession and covert wars came alive after ten years of relative prosperity, the country started to demand music that faced troubled times with strong emotion and spirit” (Christe 2003, 204). 57

It is worth noting how Hetfield at some points changes the lyrical “I” in the song to represent manipulation “If it’s done just how I say” (“Eye of the Beholder”, ...And

Justice for All , 1988). This is reminiscent of the song “Master of Puppets”, where the

“I” took the form of addiction and control to make the aspects of manipulation even more potent by personifying the drug. One might consider the lines from “Escape”,

“One with my mind, they just can’t see / No need to hear things that they say / Life is for my own to live my own way” (“Escape”, Ride The Lightning , 1984) as a reaction against the imposing control by the PMRC by stating that they can try to do what they can, but in the end they will not be able to dictate the thoughts or actions of the man/people.

The other song from ...And Justice for All , “...And Justice for All”, discusses the corruption of Justice by corporate capitalism. “Halls of Justice painted green / Money talking” (“...And Justice For All”, ...And Justice for All , 1988). While the “Eye of the

Beholder” is more about the threat to personal independence, “...And Justice for All” offers more straightforward social criticism.

Rolls of red tape seal your lips Now you’re done in Their money tips her scales again Make your deal Just what is truth? I cannot tell Cannot feel (. . .) Justice is lost Justice is raped Justice is gone (“...And Justice For All”, ...And Justice for All , 1988)

Reddick and Beresin (2002) state how “[t]he view dominating lyrics of [thrash and death metal] groups predicts the destruction of the world, total annihilation as a result of ever-increasing chaos and evil.” They continue noting that “seeing government and power as corrupt is a theme that has remained constant in the development of metal.” 58

6.4. Hero of the day?

The 20 th century was bloody. Without a doubt, not all wars are supported by all men. “However, once a war is widely defined as a matter of “duty”, “honour”,

“patriotism” or as a defence of “freedom” and “the American way of life”, etc., then resistance for many men (and for some women) becomes a matter of cowardice and dishonour” (Flood et.al. 2007, 628). Going to war has been seen as a way for boys to gain their manhood and apparently, avoiding the label of sissy, while proving a point regarding gender, is worth risking the most valuable – life.

By the 1980s, the threat of nuclear war between superpowers had been hanging over the world for quite some time. While Metallica’s first album Kill ‘Em All had been

“deeply steeped in the fresh traditions of metal” 59 praising heavy metal on almost every song, already their follow-up album Ride The Lightning “abandoned the metal vacuum of Kill ‘Em All for more difficult and insightful lyrical themes” 60 . “Fight Fire with Fire” appeared on Ride the Lightning in 1984 and the song identified the grim possible outcomes of the geopolitics of the time. The Reagan administration had only recently revealed plans for the so called “Star Wars” defence program. “Blow the universe into nothingness / Nuclear warfare shall lay us to rest” (“Fight Fire With Fire”, Ride the

Lightning , 1984). The same apocalyptic vision was continued on ...And Justice for All four years later with “Blackened”.

59 Christe 2003, 88. 60 Christe 2003, 127. 59

Blackened is the end Winter it will send (. . .) Smouldering decay Take her breath away Millions of our years In minutes disappear (“Blackened”, ...And Justice for All , 1988)

“Blackened” paints a very bleak image for mankind, while being also able to point a finger. “Fire / Is the outcome of hypocrisy / Darkest potency / In the exit of humanity”

(“Blackened”, ...And Justice for All , 1988).

Phillips 61 quotes Samuel Hynes, who has analysed the memoirs and letters from the wars of the twentieth century and concluded that “ Why is not a soldier’s question”.

Metallica’s lyrical handling of war is very much underlining the individual experiences of the soldier(s). The idea of a soldier in doubt is evident in more songs than one. In

“For Whom the Bell Tolls” soldiers are fighting for a hill. “On they fight, for they are right, yes, but who’s to say? / For a hill men would kill, why? They do not know” (“For

Whom The Bell Tolls”, Ride the Lightning , 1984). Ingham (2003, 53) discusses “For

Whom the Bell Tolls” and notes how “[Hetfield] (. . .) captur[es] the confusion and general numbness of the soldier in the story – “A stranger now are his eyes to this mystery / He hears the silence so loud”.”

No mercy for what we are doing No thought to even what we have done We don’t need to feel the sorrow No remorse for the helpless one (“No Remorse”, Kill ‘Em All , 1983)

The soldiers of “No Remorse” are merely machines without feelings. The men have gone to war only for the sake of killing. This is also reflected in the song titled

61 Phillips, Kathy J. cop. 2006. Manipulating masculinity: war and gender in modern British and American literature. New York: Palgrave Macmillan. (p. 3) 60

“Disposable Heroes”, which is very much self-explanatory with its title, but the difference is that in this song the male is a victim of manipulation.

Soldier boy, made of clay Now an empty shell Twenty one, only son But he served us well Bred to kill, not to care Do just as we say (“Disposable Heroes”, Master of Puppets , 1986)

War is not for the thinking man of Metallica. It is merely something to act in/upon. It does seem, however, that there exists a distinct difference between

Metallica’s male soldier and the soldier from Samuel Hynes’ reading of memoirs earlier. Apparently asking “why” is not completely foreign for the character in the lyrics. We saw it earlier in “For Whom the Bell Tolls” and it is also offered in

“Disposable Heroes”: “Why am I dying?” (“Disposable Heroes”, Master of Puppets ,

1986). The only problem is that whether anyone is willing to answer these inquiries remains quite uncertain. The lack of personal freedom for the Hetfieldian soldier is quite plain in the lyrics. The man in “Disposable Heroes” is not participating in war by his own will. This absence of personal choice is created by more powerful members of society.

Back to the front You will do what I say, when I say Back to the front You will die when I say, you must die (“Disposable Heroes”, Master of Puppets , 1986)

While being emotionless to a large extent, the lack of control in the lyrics in this respect is immense. If boys go to war in order to gain their manhood, which has already been noted to include a fear of others dominating and having control over us (men), then this surrendering to the commands of officers appears to some extent contradictory. 61

Life planned out before my birth, nothing could I say Had no chance to see myself, moulded day by day Looking back I realize, nothing have I done Left to die with only friend Alone I clench my gun (“Disposable Heroes”, Master of Puppets , 1986)

Flood, et.al. (2007, 25) explain this view by noting that “[o]bedience to authority and submission to tradition are key aspects of armies. These are masculinist in that they reflect total authority, singularity of purpose and the total embodiment of masculinist rationality. Armies foster and cultivate the disciplined rational man”.

The result of war for an individual man is depicted in “One”. The soldier has returned home from war only to find himself tied to a bed with no arms, legs, sight, hearing or ability to speak due to a landmine. In terms of masculinity this must be the ultimate punishment.

Now that the war is through with me I’m waking up, I cannot see That there’s not much left of me Nothing is real but pain now (“One”, ...And Justice for All , 1988)

The masculine ability to control has disappeared as war has taken control of the male by removing the masculine agency. Not much glory is associated with war.

Pillsbury (2006, 86) also notes how “Metallica focuses intently on an individual experience of war in “One”, but without the thinly veiled condemnation of large-scale manipulation detectable in “Disposable Heroes”.” The male deprived off his masculinity is left only with a wish to die.

Tied to machines that make me be Cut this life off from me Hold my breath as I wish for death Oh please God, wake me (“One”, ...And Justice for All , 1988) 62

According to Flood, et.al. (2007, 626) “[m]en depend on women to provide a logic for war, a purpose for fighting, a gender foil against which manliness is animated and contrasted”. In line with what we have seen thus far regarding other themes in the lyrics, the soldier is also alone. No women are available, which might lead us to conclude that logic for war will also be hard to come by when reading the lyrics.

In Metallica’s treatment of war, any political allusions (i.e. propaganda) are fairly difficult to come by. However, “Don’t Tread on Me” – released on their self-dubbed album in 1991 – presents some quite obvious nationalistic indicators. The album itself has a black cover with a coiled rattlesnake printed on the front and back. The rattlesnake

– along with the aforementioned song title – has been taken from the Gadsden flag which is an historical American flag.

Liberty or death, what we so proudly hail Once you provoke her, rattling of her tail Never begins it, never, but once engaged... Never surrenders, showing the fangs of rage Don’t tread on me (“Don’t Tread on Me”, Metallica , 1991)

The lyrics of the song itself start with a reference to a famous quotation – “Give me liberty, or give me Death”62 – used in a speech by Patrick Henry in 1775. The phrases “Liberty or Death” and “Don’t Tread on Me” can also be found next to a coiled rattlesnake on the flag of the Culpeper Minutemen. They were a militia group formed in

1775 and fought for the patriot side in the American Revolutionary War. A letter signed by “An American Guesser” 63 – later identified to be Benjamin Franklin – was published on December 27, 1775. In it he reflects on the symbolism of the rattlesnake. Hetfield took phrases such as “never begins an attack”, “once engaged, never surrenders” and

62 Joseph Addison’s play entitled Cato, a Tragedy from 1712 includes the passage “It is not now time to talk of aught / But chains or conquest, liberty or death” (Act II, Scene 4). 63 http://sln.fi.edu/qa99/musing3/index.html 63

“emblem of vigilance” straight from the letter and included them in the song (Pillsbury

2006, 86). Musically, “Don’t Tread on Me” uses a sample from the song “America” by

Leonard Bernstein from West Side Story. This further emphasizes the nationalistic sense of the song as the song “America” literally sings praises of the United States of

America. Having released Metallica soon after the Persian Gulf War, which, at least according to some had been seen removing the last shadows of the failure of the

Vietnam War, the song was seen as “mindless, jingoistic propaganda celebrating a U.S. military victory” (Pillsbury 2006, 87). 64

64 “That Hetfield claimed that the song was not written with that war in mind at all could not downplay the powerful coincidence of its release on Metallica ” (Pillsbury 2006, 87). 64

7. Conclusions

Rise, fall, down, rise again What don’t kill ya make ya more strong (“Broken, Beat & Scarred”, Death Magnetic , 2008)

The boundaries between popular culture and high culture have lowered in recent times. Traditionally mass culture has been hierarchically inferior in value – at least according to different elites – but gradually it has been brought into the academia. In contrast to high culture, popular culture was not deemed to embody the aesthetic or ideological standards to be a valuable subject for study within the humanist sciences. “It still seems that literature has its readers, but popular music has its fans – not listeners.” 65

According to Lehtonen (2001, 122), high culture represents aspects such as thought, prudence, decency and honour, while popular culture represents corporeality, emotion, hysteria and effusiveness.

Music has a unique and striking relationship to the human body, surrounding, enfolding and even invading it within its own rhythms and textures. It incorporates its listeners into its own spaces, transforming passive reception into active production. Similarly, the experience of voicing someone else’s words (whether by singing along or reading another’s paper) carries with it a seemingly overpowering desire to “own” the words, to claim them as one’s own. 66

The structure of a text does not determine its effects. The meaning of a text is dependent on the context and the place where it is re-articulated. It is easy to think that with spoken language the speech act and the speaker are one, but with written language and print this relationship changes as the text is separated from the author (Lehtonen

2001, 61). Even listeners/fans have contrasting interpretations of songs. The lyrics are

65 Lahtinen, Toni & Lehtimäki, Markku. 2007. Roll over Runeberg: kirjallisuustieteellisiä esseitä rock- lyriikasta. Tampere: Tampereen yliopisto, taideaineiden laitos. (p. 1) 66 Grossberg, Lawrence. 1992. We Gotta Get Out Of This Place . New York: Routledge. (pp. 152-153) 65

an essential part of music. If the aim is to have a comprehensive analysis of (rock) music, studying only the lyrics is not enough. Acquiring a whole picture of the music requires musicological, historical, political and sociological approaches. This analysis does, however, shed light on one aspect of a versatile phenomenon and it is with this approach that literature studies would have a lot to offer. 67

Masculinity is deeply embedded in rock music, not only in the visible and audible experience. “[N]otions of gender circulate in the texts, sounds, images, and practices of heavy metal, and fans experience confirmation and alteration of their gendered identities through their involvement with it” (Walser 1993, 109).

According to McClary and Walser 68 :

Heavy metal fans, for instance, don’t seem to be much concerned with verbal discourse; they go to concerts where lyrics are almost completely unintelligible, and they don’t mouth the lyrics along with the songs even if they know them – they are much more likely to mime the guitar solos or make power gestures or yell. Narratives are relatively rare in metal; more commonly the texts evoke sequences of loosely related vivid images. 69

Weinstein (2000, 123) 70 , however, argues that “[o]ne of the ways in which members of the heavy metal subculture show their commitment to the genre is to know the lyrics. (. .

.) Thus, heavy metal fans are more likely than other adolescents to be familiar with the lyrics of their favorite songs.”

67 Westersund, Johanna. 1995. “Lähi- ja yleiskuvia Kauko Röyhkän rocklyriikasta.” In Musta lammas . ed. Koistinen, Tero et.al, 199-214. Joensuu: Joensuu University Press. (p. 200) 68 McClary, Susan & Walser, Robert. 1990. “Start making sense! Musicology wrestles with rock.” In On Record: rock, pop, and the written word. eds. Frith, Simon & Goodwin, Andrew, 277-292. London: Routledge, 1990. (pp. 285-286) 69 This assumption does seem a bit overgeneralising. 70 Referring to a study by Desmond (Desmond, Roger Jon. 1987. “Adolescents and Music Lyrics: Implications of a Cognitive Perspective.” Communication Quarterly. 35, 3: 276-284.), which concluded that “about one-third of adolescent listeners can grasp the meaning of the words in popular songs” (Weinstein 2000, 123). 66

As has been noted, heavy metal has presented traditionally masculine images through music which has been regarded as masculine within the context of Western society. According to Rafalovich (2006, 21):

[I]t is important to address the thematic and aesthetic changes that have occurred in the metal since the early 1990s. Many of the themes commonly associated with metal music – for example, those of misogyny, decadence, and sexual innuendo – are largely absent from contemporary forms of the genre.

Rafalovich (2006, 22) continues to note how the alternative scene of the 1990s was partly reactionary against the lyrical themes of “hair bands” which included “the pursuit of women, the acquisition of sex, partying into all hours of the night, and so on”.

This coincided with a marked change in the lyrical content of metal music.

Metallica’s lyrics were chosen as the data for this thesis due to the band’s long career and their status within the genre of heavy metal. The aim was to investigate whether the ideas (or what ideas) of masculinity – and more precisely the aspect of powerful masculinity – in heavy metal apply to the lyrical content of Metallica.

Characteristics of the controlling male were evident in the data. The inability to handle different emotions was manifest later as substance abuse. Violence towards others as such does not play a very big part in the data. Whereas elsewhere in the metal music genre more explicit instances of violent behaviour can be found 71 , the lyrics by

Metallica seem to be more concerned with the inner struggle. Scheff and Retzinger

(2001, 103) state that “[a]lienation from others and self gives rise not only to shame and anger but to unending chain reactions of these two emotions”. The male character in the lyrics does seem alienated. The lyrics very much lack any contact with others (whether male or female) and the lyrical self is mostly left ruminating with his inner self. Some attempts at having a dialogue with the parents are made, but not to any significant

71 For examples, see Rafalovich (2006, 27). 67

success. Alienation from society is manifested by representing authority as manipulative, controlling and fixated on power. The relationship with society is devoid of any “human” reciprocality as the man functions merely as cannon fodder.

The foundation for the problems had been, however, laid much earlier. The relation between neglect experienced as a child and emotional numbing was brought up and the data seems to back up the assumption that some causality does exist. What was curious though, was the lack of the supposed macho sexuality which is said to prevail in heavy metal. This aspect of masculinity was instead replaced by an introspective male.

This self-contemplation by the lyrical self does not occur absolutely freely, but the fact it does take place, makes it worth questioning whether this lack of traditional “rock male” applies only to Metallica or whether the omnipotent male in heavy metal is

(becoming) a myth (cf. Rafalovich 2006 above). Male power and female subordination have been said to be represented in heavy metal, but the data here does not seem to support this assumption. “Men are beginning to gaze at their subjectivity and power in a spirit of self-critical examination, using less masterful, more tentative and heterogeneous theoretical concepts” (Middleton 1992, 230). The bringing forth of songs that illustrate fragility (for example “Dyers Eve” and “Invisible Kid”) is “in stark contrast to scripts of stereotypical masculinity that deem it unmanly to talk about such abuse and render the self so unthinkably vulnerable” (Rafalovich 2006, 25).

It is worth noting that when one looks at the data more closely a clear emphasis on self-reflective lyrics can be seen on Metallica’s later albums (from the 1990s onwards).

Whether this should be thought of as a sign of the more general attitude by men towards masculine self-analysis (as mentioned by Middleton above) or merely a reflection of

James Hetfield adding more years is left open to debate. Kimmel (1996, 330) stated in the mid-1990s that “The Self-Made Man, that model of manhood we have inherited as 68

the only marker of our success as men, leads more than ever before to chronic anxiety and insecurity”. The question “Is it a boy or a girl?” was introduced in the title for this paper. We are clearly discussing a male character in the lyrics, but in the realm of heavy metal the sort of philosophical approach towards psychological issues represented in the lyrics may not be considered very masculine. Women, per se, are almost completely absent from the lyrics. Instances of the (feminine) other can be hypothesised, but no direct link is available. The only female character in the lyrics is the mother and she is dead.

“To be white and male is a standard of global privilege and power” (Flood et. al.

2007, 633). However untrue, the statement above is quite a generally accepted assumption. In the case of Metallica, control over self and others is depicted, but the instances of self-contemplation would suggest that it is not accepted. The controlling habits have been picked up from the parents, but whether the ability to loosen the leash exists despite realising its damaging effects is not clear. Self-pity can have a warming effect as the male craves for attention, but it soon leads to anger and hate towards everything and everyone. Forgiveness (both self and others) would be one possible way out of the spiral. This, however, has not been acted upon and if it does not happen, the emotional emptiness has the capacity to overwhelm its subject and succumbing to it might be inevitable.

The theme of emerging from hardship is something Rafalovich (2006) has found to be evident in heavy metal lyrics. The use of internal perseverance, according to

Rafalovich (2006, 28), “resonate[s] with the scripts of traditional masculinity in which the preservation of maleness is contingent upon the exercise of independence and the cultivation of internal strength”. A good example of this can be found on Metallica’s most recent studio album in which Hetfield, a man in his mid-40s, strongly asserts that: 69

Here in this prison. I suffer this no longer, I’ll put an end to this, I swear. This, I swear. The son will shine. This, I swear, This, I swear, This, I swear! (“”, Death Magnetic , 2008)

Taking note of the title of the song, though, some doubt over its implementation still remains.

Analysis regarding the aspect of shame 72 , which has not been discussed in this thesis, would be a valid step for further study even in the realm of Metallica. Expanding the subject and the data would be required since concentrating only on one band does not provide sufficient information regarding the whole genre. Expanding of the data was, however, not possible here due to the study being limited in scope. It merely raises the aspiration to find out whether the results of this study make Metallica’s lyrical oeuvre somehow unorthodox or are the assumptions about masculinity in heavy metal in need of updating. To take this subject matter further, studying the evolution of heavy metal lyrics would be in order. Has the traditional male identity disappeared from metal music and do the inner struggles of men in heavy metal lyrics correspond to what men are going through in real life?

72 For a discussion on the shame-anger –relation, see Scheff and Retzinger (2001). 70

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The Oxford English Dictionary. . [Accessed 7 October 2008] 74

Adrenalin starts to flow You’re thrashing all around Appendix: Selected lyrics Acting like a maniac Whiplash Kill ‘Em All (1983) No Remorse Whiplash No mercy for what we are doing Late at night all systems go No thought to even what we have done You have come to see the show We don’t need to feel the sorrow We do our best you’re the rest No remorse for the helpless one You make it real you know There is a feeling deep inside War without end That drives you fuckin’ mad No remorse no repent A feeling of a hammerhead We don’t care what it meant You need it oh so bad Another day another death Another sorrow another breath Adrenalin starts to flow No remorse no repent You’re thrashing all around We don’t care what it meant Acting like a maniac Another day another death Whiplash Another sorrow another breath

Bang your head against the stage Blood feeds the war machine Like you never did before As it eats its way across the land Make it ring make it bleed We don’t need to feel the sorrow Make it really sore No remorse is the one command In a frenzied madness With your leathers and your spikes War without end Heads are bobbing around No remorse no repent It is hot as hell tonight We don’t care what it meant Another day another death Adrenalin starts to flow Another sorrow another breath You’re thrashing all around No remorse no repent Acting like a maniac We don’t care what it meant Whiplash Another day another death Another sorrow another breath Here on stage the marshall noise Is piercing through your ears Only the strong survive It kicks your ass kick your face No will to save the weaker race Exploding feeling nears We are ready to kill all comers Now is the time to let it rip Like a loaded gun right at your face To let it fuckin’ loose We are gathered here to maim and kill War without end Cause this is what we choose No remorse no repent We don’t care what it meant Adrenalin starts to flow Another day another death You’re thrashing all around Another sorrow another breath Acting like a maniac No remorse no repent Whiplash We don’t care what it meant Another day another death The show is through the metal is gone Another sorrow another breath It is time to hit the road Another town another gig Attack Again we will explode Bullets are flying Hotel rooms and motorways People are dying Life out here is raw With madness surrounding all hell’s But we will never stop breaking loose We will never quit Soldiers are hounding Cause we are Metallica Bodies are mounting Cannons are shouting to take their abuse 75

With war machines going For whom the bell tolls Blood starts to flowing Time marches on No mercy given to anyone hear (sic) For whom the bell tolls The furious fighting Swords are like lightning Take a look at (sic, to) the sky just before you It all becomes frightening you die Know death is near It is the last time you will No remorse Blackened roar massive roar fills the crumbling sky Ride The Lightning (1984) Shattered goal fills his soul with a ruthless cry Stranger now, are his eyes, to this mystery Fight Fire with Fire He hears the silence so loud Crack of dawn, all is gone except the will to be Do unto others as they have done to you Now they what will be, blinded eyes to see But what the hell is this world coming to? For whom the bell tolls Blow the universe into nothingness Time marches on Nuclear warfare shall lay us to rest For whom the bell tolls

Fight fire with fire Fade to Black Ending is near Fight fire with fire Life it seems, will fade away Bursting with fear Drifting further every day Getting lost within myself We all shall die Nothing matters no one else I have lost the will to live Time is like a fuse, short and burning fast Simply nothing more to give Armageddon is here, like said in the past There is nothing more for me Need the end to set me free Fight fire with fire Ending is near Things not what they used to be Fight fire with fire Missing one inside of me Bursting with fear Deathly lost, this can’t be real Cannot stand this hell I feel Soon to fill our lungs the hot winds of death Emptiness is filling me The gods are laughing, so take your last breath To the point of agony Growing darkness taking dawn Fight fire with fire I was me, but now he’s gone Ending is near Fight fire with fire No one but me can save myself, but it’s too late Bursting with fear Now I cant’ think, think why I should even try

Fight fire with fire (repeat) Yesterday seems as though it never existed Death greets me warm, now I will just say goodbye For Whom the Bell Tolls Trapped Under Ice Make his fight on the hill in the early day Constant chill deep inside I don’t know how to live through this hell Shouting gun, on they run through the endless Woken up, I’m still locked in this shell grey Frozen soul, frozen down to the core On they fight, for they are right, yes, but who’s Break the ice, I can’t take anymore to say? For a hill men would kill, why? They do not Freezing know Can’t move at all Suffered (sic, stiffened) wounds test their pride Screaming Men of five, still alive through the raging glow Can’t hear my call Gone insane from the pain that they surely I am dying to live know Cry out I’m trapped under ice 76

One with my mind, they just Crystallized, as I lay here and rest can’t see Eyes of glass stare directly at death No need to hear things that they From deep sleep I have broken away say No one knows, no one hears what I say Life is for my own to live my own way Freezing Can’t move at all See them try to bring the hammer down Screaming No damn chain can hold me to the ground Can’t hear my call I am dying to live Life is for my own to live my Cry out own way I’m trapped under ice (repeat)

Scream from my soul Master of Puppets (1986) Fate, mystified Hell, forever more Battery

No release from my cryonic state Lashing out the action, returning the reaction What is this? I’ve been stricken by fate Weak are ripped and torn away Wrapped up tight, cannot move, can’t break free Hypnotizing power, crushing all that cower Hand of doom has a tight grip on me Battery is here to stay

Freezing Smashing through the Can’t move at all boundaries Screaming Lunacy has found me Can’t hear my call Cannot stop the battery I am dying to live Pounding out aggression Cry out Turns into obsession I’m trapped under ice Cannot kill the battery

Escape Cannot kill the family Battery is found in me Feel no pain, but my life ain’t easy I know I’m my best friend Battery No one cares, but I’m so much stronger I’ll fight until end Crushing all deceivers, mashing non-believers To escape from the true false world Never ending potency Undamaged destiny Hungry violence seeker, feeding off the weaker Can’t get caught in the endless circle Breeding on insanity Ring of stupidity Smashing through the Out for my own, out to be free boundaries One with my mind, they just Lunacy has found me can’t see Cannot stop the battery No need to hear things that they Pounding out aggression say Turns into obsession Life is for my own to live my Cannot kill the battery own way Cannot kill the family Rape my mind and destroy my feelings Battery is found in me Don’t tell my what to do I don’t care now, ‘cause I’m on my side Battery And I can see through you Feed my brains with you so called standards Circle of destruction, hammer comes crushing Who says that I ain’t right Powerhouse of energy Break away from your common fashion Whipping out a fury, dominating flurry See through you blurry sight We create the battery

Out for my own, out to be free 77

Smashing through the Master of puppets I’m pulling boundaries your strings Lunacy has found me Twisting you mind and Cannot stop the battery smashing your dreams Pounding out aggression Blinded by me, you can’t see a Turns into obsession thing Cannot kill the battery Just call my name, ‘cause I’ll hear you scream Cannot kill the family Master Battery is found in me Master Just call my name, ‘cause I’ll Battery hear you scream Master Master of Puppets Master

End of passion play, crumbling away Master, Master, where’s the dreams that I’ve I’m your source of self-destruction been after? Veins that pump with fear, sucking darkest clear Master, master, you promised only lies Leading on your deaths’ construction Laughter, laughter, all I hear or see is laughter Taste me you will see Laughter, laughter, laughing at my cries More is all you need You’re dedicated to Hell is worth all that, natural habitat How I’m killing you Just a rhyme without a reason Neverending maze, drift on numbered days Come crawling faster Now your life is out of season Obey you master I will occupy Your life burns faster I will help you die Obey your master I will run through you master Now I rule you too

Master of puppets I’m pulling Come crawling faster your strings Obey you master Twisting you mind and Your life burns faster smashing your dreams Obey your master Blinded by me, you can’t see a master thing Just call my name, ‘cause I’ll Master of puppets I’m pulling hear you scream your strings Master Twisting you mind and Master smashing your dreams Just call my name, ‘cause I’ll Blinded by me, you can’t see a hear you scream thing Master Just call my name, ‘cause I’ll Master hear you scream Master Needlework the way, never you betray Master Life of death becoming clearer Just call my name, ‘cause I’ll Pain monopoly, ritual misery hear you scream Chop your breakfast on a mirror Master Taste me you will see Master More is all you need You’re dedicated to How I’m killing you

Come crawling faster Welcome Home (Sanitarium) Obey you master Your life burns faster Welcome to where time stands still Obey your master No one leaves and no one will master Moon is full never seems to change Just labelled mentally deranged 78

Dream the same thing every night say I see our freedom in my sight Back to the front No locked doors, no windows barred You will die when I say, you No things to make my brain seem scarred must die Back to the front Sleep my friend and you will see You coward That dream is my reality You servant They keep me locked up in this cage You blindman Can’t they see it’s why my brain says rage Barking of machinegun fire, does nothing to me Sanitarium, leave me be now Sanitarium, just leave me alone Sounding of the clock that ticks, get used to it somehow Build my fear of what’s out there More a man, more stripes you bare (sic), glory And cannot breathe the open air seeker Whisper things into my brain trends Assuring me that I’m insane Bodies fill the fields I see They think our heads are in their hands The slaughter never ends But violent use brings violent plans Keep him tied, it makes him well Soldier boy, made of clay He’s getting better, can’t you tell? Now an empty shell Twenty one, only son No more can they keep us in But he served us well Listen damn it, we will win Bred to kill, not to care They see it right, they see it well Do just as we say But they think this saves us from our hell Finished here, greetings death He’s yours to take away Sanitarium, leave me be Sanitarium, just leave me alone Back to the front Sanitarium, just leave me alone You will do what I say, when I say Fear of living on Back to the front Natives getting restless now You will die when I say, you Mutiny in the air must die Got some death to do Back to the front Mirror stares back hard You coward Kill, it’s such a friendly word You servant Seems the only way You blindman For reaching out again Why am I dying? Disposable Heroes Kill, have no fear Lie, live off lying Bodies fill the fields I see, hungry heroes end Hell, hell is here No one to play soldier now, no one to pretend Running blind through killing fields, bred to kill I was born for dying them all Victim of what said should be Life planned out before my birth, nothing could A servant ‘til I fall I say Had no chance to see myself, moulded day by Soldier boy, made of clay day Now an empty shell Looking back I realize, nothing have I done Twenty one, only son Left to die with only friend But he served us well Alone I clench my gun Bred to kill, not to care Do just as we say Soldier boy, made of clay Finished here, greetings death Now an empty shell He’s yours to take away Twenty one, only son But he served us well Back to the front Bred to kill, not to care You will do what I say, when I Do just as we say 79

Finished here, greetings death Make a contribution He’s yours to take away And you’ll get the better seat

Back to the front Lie You will do what I say, when I say ...And Justice for All (1988) Back to the front You will die when I say, you must die Blackened Back to the front You coward Blackened is the end You servant Winter it will send You blindman Throwing all you see Into obscurity Back to the front Death of mother earth Leper Messiah Never a rebirth Evolution’s end Spineless from the start, sucked into the part Never will it mend Circus comes to town, you play the lead clown Please, please Never Spreading his disease, living by his story Knees, knees Fire Falling to your knees, suffer for his glory To begin whipping dance of the You will dead Blackened is the end Time for lust, time for lie To begin whipping dance of the Time to kiss your life goodbye dead Send me money, send me green Color our world blackened Heaven you will meet Make a contribution Blistering of earth And you’ll get a better seat Terminate its worth Bow to leper messiah Deadly nicotine Kills what might have been Marvel at his tricks, need you Sunday fix Blind devotion came, rotting your brain Callous frigid chill Chain, chain Nothing left to kill Join the endless chain, taken by his glamour Never seen before Fame, fame Breathing nevermore Infection is the game, stinking drunk with power Never We see Fire Time for lust, time for lie To begin whipping dance of the Time to kiss your life goodbye dead Send me money, send me green Blackened is the end Heaven you will meet To begin whipping dance of the Make a contribution dead And you’ll get the better seat Color our world blackened Bow to leper messiah Blackened

Witchery, weakening Opposition...contradiction...premonition...compr Sees the sheep are gathering omise Set the trap, hypnotize Agitation...violation...mutilation...planet dies Now you follow Darkest color Time for lust, time for lie Blistered earth Time to kiss your life goodbye True death of life Send me money, send me green Heaven you will meet 80

Termination...expiration...cancellation...human Find it so grim race So true Expectation...liberation...population...lay to So real waste Apathy their stepping stone See our mother So unfeeling Put to death Hidden deep in animosity See our mother die So deceiving Through your eyes their light burns Smouldering decay Hoping to find Taking breath away Inquisition sinking you Millions of our years With prying minds In minutes disappear The ultimate in vanity Darkening in vain Exploiting their supremacy Decadence remains I can’t believe the things you All is said and done say Never is the sun I can’t believe I can’t believe the price you pay Never Nothing can save you

Fire Justice is lost To begin whipping dance of the Justice is raped dead Justice is gone Blackened is the end Pulling your strings To begin whipping dance of the Justice is done dead Seeking no truth Fire Winning is all Is the outcome of hypocrisy Find it so grim Darkest potency So true In the exit of humanity So real Color our world blackened Blackened Lady Justice has been raped Truth assassin ...And Justice for All Rolls of red tape seal your lips Now you’re done in Halls of Justice painted green Their money tips her scales again Money talking Make your deal Power wolves beset you door Just what is truth? I cannot tell Hear them stalking Cannot feel Soon you’ll please their appetite They devour The ultimate in vanity Hammer of Justice crushes you Exploiting their supremacy Overpower I can’t believe the things you say The ultimate in vanity I can’t believe Exploiting their supremacy I can’t believe the price we pay I can’t believe the things you Nothing can save us say I can’t believe Justice is lost I can’t believe the price you pay Justice is raped Nothing can save you Justice is gone Pulling your strings Justice is lost Justice is done Justice is raped Seeking no truth Justice is gone Winning is all Pulling your strings Find it so grim Justice is done So true Seeking no truth So real Winning is all 81

Seeking no truth If it’s done just how I say Winning is all Find it so grim Independence limited So true Freedom of choice So real Choice is made for you my friend Eye of the Beholder Freedom of speech Speech is words that they will Do you see what I see? bend Truth is an offence Freedom with their exception You silence for your confidence Do you know what I know? Do you hear what I hear? Your money and your wealth Doors are slamming shut You silence just to hear yourself Limit your imagination, keep you where they must Do you want what I want? Desire not a thing Do you feel what I feel? I hunger after independence, lengthen freedom’s Bittering distress ring Who decides what you express? Doesn’t matter what you see Do you take what I take? Or into it what you read Endurance is the word You can do it your own way Moving back instead of forward seems to me If it’s done just how I say absurd Independence limited Doesn’t matter what you see Freedom of choice Or into it what you read Choice is made for you my You can do it your own way friend If it’s done just how I say Freedom of speech Speech is words that they will Independence limited bend Freedom of choice Freedom no longer frees you Choice is made for you my friend Doesn’t matter what you see Freedom of speech Or into it what you read Speech is words that they will You can do it your own way bend If it’s done just how I say Freedom with their exception One Do you fear what I fear? Living properly I can’t remember anything Truths to you are lies to me Can’t tell if this is true or dream Deep down inside I feel to scream Do you choose what I choose? This terrible silence stops me More alternatives Energy derives from both the plus and negative Now that the war is through with me I’m waking up, I cannot see Do you need what I need? That there’s not much left of me Boundaries overthrown Nothing is real but pain now Look inside, to each his own Hold my breath as I wish for Do you trust what I trust? death Me, myself and I Oh please God, wake me Penetrate the smoke screen, I see through the selfish lie Back in the womb it’s much too real In pumps life that I must feel Doesn’t matter what you see But can’t look forward to reveal Or into it what you read Look to the time when I’ll live You can do it your own way 82

Fed through the tube that sticks in me Old habits reappear Just like wartime novelty Fighting the fear of fear Tied to machines that make me be Growing conspiracy Cut this life off from me Everyone’s after me Frayed ends of sanity Hold my breath as I wish for Hear them calling death Hear them calling me Oh please God, wake me Into ruin Now the world is gone I’m just I am sinking one Hostage of this nameless feeling Oh God, help me hold my Hell is set free breath as I wish for death Flooded I’ll be Oh please god, help me Feel the undertow inside me

Darkness Imprisoning me Height, hell, time, haste, terror, tension All that I see Life, death, want, waste, mass depression Absolute horror I cannot live Old habits reappear I cannot die Fighting the fear of fear Trapped in myself Growing conspiracy Body my holding cell Everyone’s after me Frayed ends of sanity Landmine Has taken my sight Hear them calling Taken my speech Hear them calling me Taken my hearing Taken my arms Dyers Eve Taken my legs Taken my soul Dear mother Left me with life in hell Dear father What is this hell you have put me through The Frayed Ends of Sanity Believer Deceiver Never hunger Day in day out live my life through you Never prosper Pushed onto me what’s wrong or right I have fallen prey to failure Hidden from this thing that they call life Struggle within Triggered again Dear mother Now the candle burns at both ends Dear father Every thought I’d think you’d disapprove Twisting under schizophrenia Curator Falling deep into dementia Dictator Always censoring my every move Old habits reappear Children are seen but are not heard Fighting the fear of fear Tear out everything inspired Growing conspiracy Everyone’s after me Innocence Frayed ends of sanity Torn from me without your Hear them calling shelter Hear them calling me Barred reality I’m living blindly Birth of terror Death of much more Dear mother I’m the slave of fear, my captor Dear father Never warnings Time has frozen still what’s left to be Spreading its wings Hear nothing As I wait for the horror she brings Say nothing Loss of interest, question, wonder Cannot face the fact I think for me Waves of fear they pull me under No guarantee, it’s life as is But damn you for not giving me my chance 83

Dear mother You Dear father You’re my mask You’ve clipped my wings before I learned to fly You’re my cover, my shelter Unspoiled You Unspoken You’re my mask I’ve outgrown that fucking lullaby You’re the one who’s blamed Same thing I’ve always heard from you Do Do as I say not as I do Do my work Do my dirty work, scapegoat Innocence Do Torn from me without your Do my deeds shelter For you’re the one who’s shamed Barred reality I’m living blindly I’m your dream, make you real I’m your eyes, when you must I’m in hell without you steal Cannot cope without you two I’m your pain, when you can’t Shocked at the world I see feel Innocent victim please rescue Sad but true me I’m your dream, mind astray I’m your eyes, while you’re Dear mother away Dear father I’m your pain, while you repay Hidden in your world you’ve made for me You know it’s sad but true I’m seething Hate I’m bleeding I’m your hate Ripping wounds in me that never heal I’m your hate when you want love Undying spite I feel for you Pay Living out this hell you always knew Pay the price Pay, for nothing’s fair Metallica (1991) Hey I’m your life I’m the one who took you there Sad But True Hey I’m your life Hey And I no longer care I’m your life I’m the one who takes you there I’m your dream, make you real Hey I’m your eyes, when you must I’m your life steal I’m the one who cares I’m your pain, when you can’t They feel They betray Sad but true I’m your only true friend now I’m your truth, telling lies They I’m your reason, alibis They’ll betray I’m inside, open your eyes I’m forever there I’m you Sad but true I’m your dream, make you real I’m your eyes, when you must Don’t Tread on Me steal I’m your pain, when you can’t Liberty or death, what we so proudly hail feel Once you provoke her, rattling of her tail Sad but true Never begins it, never, but once engaged... I’m your dream, mind astray Never surrenders, showing the fangs of rage I’m your eyes, while you’re away Don’t tread on me I’m your pain, while you repay You know it’s sad but true So be it 84

Threaten no more You insist that the weight of the To secure peace is to prepare world for war Should be on your shoulders So be it Misery Settle the score There’s much more to life than Touch me again for the words what you see that you’ll hear evermore... My friend of misery

Don’t tread on me You still stood there screaming No one caring about these words you tell Love it or leave it, she with the deadly bite My friend before your voice is gone Quick is the blue tongue, forked as the lightning One man’s fun is another’s hell strike These times are sent to try men’s souls Shining with brightness, always on surveillance But something’s wrong with all you see The eyes, they never close, emblem of vigilance You you’ll take it on all yourself Remember, misery loves company Don’t tread on me Misery So be it You insist that the weight of the Threaten no more world To secure peace is to prepare Should be on your shoulders for war Misery So be it There’s much more to life than Settle the score what you see Touch me again for the words My friend of misery that you’ll hear evermore... You just stood there screaming Don’t tread on me My friend of misery

So be it The Struggle Within Threaten no more To secure peace is to prepare Reaching out for something you’ve got to feel for war While clutching to what you had thought was real Liberty or death, what we so proudly hail Once you provoke her, rattling of her tail Kicking at a dead horse pleases you No way of showing your gratitude So be it So many things you don’t want to do Threaten no more What is it? What have you got to lose? To secure peace is to prepare What the hell for war What is it you think you’re gonna find? So be it Hypocrite Settle the score Boredom sets into the boring mind Touch me again for the words that you’ll hear evermore... Struggle within it suits you fine Struggle within you ruin Don’t tread on me Struggle within you seal your own coffin My Friend of Misery Struggle within the struggling within You just stood there screaming Fearing no one was listening to you Home is not a home it becomes a hell They say the empty can rattles the most Turning it into your prison cell The sound of your own voice must soothe you Advantages are taken, not handed out Hearing only what you want to hear While you struggle inside your hell And knowing only what you’ve heard You you’re smothered in tragedy Reaching out You’re out to save the world Grabbing for something you’ve got to feel Closing in Misery The pressure upon you is so unreal 85

built Struggle within it suits you fine The higher you are, the farther Struggle within you ruin you fall Struggle within you seal your The longer the walk, the farther own coffin you crawl Struggle within the struggling My body, my temple, this within temple it tilts Yes, this is the house that Jack Reaching out for something you’ve got to feel built, yeah While clutching to what you had thought was real Open door, yes, I walk inside What the hell Swallow me so the pain subsides What is it you think you’re gonna find? And I shake as I take the sin Hypocrite Let the show begin Boredom sets into the boring mind The higher you are, the farther Struggle within it suits you fine you fall Struggle within you ruin The longer the walk, the farther Struggle within you seal your you crawl own coffin My body, my temple, this Struggle within the struggling temple it tilts within Yes, this is the house that Jack built Load (1996) The higher you are, the farther you fall Longer the walk, the farther you The House Jack Built crawl My body, my temple, this Open door, so I walk inside temple it tilts Close my eyes, find my place to hide Yes, I am, I am, I am And I shake as I take it in Let the show begin Open my eyes It swallows me Open my eyes just to have them close again Is that you there? Well on my way, yeah, but on my way to where Mm, I twist away, away, away, yeah, away I’ve been It swallows me as it takes me in its fog King Nothing Mm, I twist away as I give this world the nod Wish I may, wish I might Open door, so I walk inside Have this I wish tonight Close my eyes, find my place to hide Are you satisfied? And I shake as I take it in Dig for gold, dig for fame Let the show begin You dig to make your name Are you pacified? Open my eyes just to have them close once again All the wants you waste Don’t want control, hey, as it takes me down All the things you’ve changed and down and down again Is that the moon or just a light that lights this Then it all crashes down dead end street? And you break you crown Is that you there or just another demon that I And you point your finger meet? But there’s no one around Just want one thing The higher you are, the farther Just to play the king you fall But the castle crumbled The longer the walk, the farther And you’re left with just a you crawl name My body, my temple, this Where’s your crown, King temple it tilts Nothing? Step into the house that Jack Where’s your crown? 86

gone Hard and cold, bought and sold They’re off to find the hero of the day A heart as hard as gold Mm, but what if they should fall by someone’s Yeah, are you satisfied? wicked way? Wish I might, wish I may Still the window burns time so slowly turns You wish your life away Someone there is sighing Are you pacified? Keepers of the flames, do ya feel your name? Can’t you hear your babies cryin’? All the wants you waste Mama they try and break me All the things you’ve changed Still they try and break me.

Then it all crashes down Excuse me while I tend to how I feel And you break you crown These things return to me that still seem real And you point your finger Now, deservingly, this easy chair But there’s no one around Mm, but the rocking stopped by wheels of Just want one thing despair Just to play the king Don’t want your aid, but the fist I’ve made for But the castle crumbled years can’t hold off fear And you’re left with just a No, I’m not all me, so please excuse me while I name tend to how I feel Where’s your crown, King Nothing? But now the dreams and waking You’re nothing screams that everlast the Come on, where’s your crown? night So build the wall behind it, I wish I may, I wish I might crawl and hide until it’s Have this wish I wish tonight light I want that star So can you hear your babies I want it now cryin’ now? I want it all and I don’t care how Careful what you wish Still the window burns time so slowly turns Careful what you say And someone there is sighing Careful what you wish Keepers of the flames, can’t you hear your You may regret it names? Careful what you wish Can’t you hear your babies cryin’? You just might get it But now the dreams and waking Then it all crashes down screams that everlast the And you break you crown night And you point your finger So build the wall behind it, But there’s no one around crawl and hide until it’s Just want one thing light Just to play the king So can you hear your babies But the castle crumbled cryin’ now? And you’re left with just a name Mama they try and break me Where’s your crown, King Mama they try and break me Nothing? Mama they try and break me Nothing Mama they try and break me Mama they try Mm, no, you’re just nothing Mama they try Where’s you crown, King Nothing? No, you’re just nothing Cure Absolutely nothing Off to never-never land The man takes another bullet He keeps them all within Hero of the Day He must seek no matter how it hurts So don’t fool again The window burns to light the way back home A light that warms no matter where they’ve He thinks the answer’s cold and in his hand 87

He takes his medicine Yeah, I chew on agony The man takes another bullet Swallow whole the pain Yeah, he’s been fooled again But, oh, it’s too good to be That all this misery just for oh, poor twisted me Uncross your arms, take and Poor twisted me throw ‘em to the cure Say, “I do believe” Poor mistreated me Uncross your arms now, take Poor mistreated me ‘em to it I drown without a sea Say, “I do believe, yeah, I do Lungs filled with sorrow believe” Lungs filled with misery Hell, yeah Inhaling the deep, dark blue Woe, woe is me The lies tempt her and she follows Such a burden to be Again she lets them in The poor mistreated me, yeah She must believe to fill the hollow She’s been fooled again To finally reach the shore, survive the storm Now you’re bare and cold Uncross your arms, take and The sea was warm, so warm, you bathe your throw ‘em to the cure soul again Say, “I do believe” Baby, again and again, again Uncross your arms now, take ‘em to it To finally reach the shore, survive the storm Say, “I do believe, yeah, I do Now you’re bare and cold believe” The sea was warm, so warm, you bathe your Yeah, yeah soul again Good to feel, my friend Betting on the cure Oh, woe is me It must get better than this Such a burden to be, oh poor twisted me Betting on the cure Yo, poor twisted me Yeah, everyone’s got to have the sickness Poor twisted me ‘Cause everyone seems to need the cure Precious cure Mama Said

Betting on the cure Mama, she has taught me well It must get better than this Told me when I was young Betting on the cure Son, your life’s an open book Yeah, everyone’s got to have the sickness Don’t close it ‘fore it’s done ‘Cause everyone seems to need the cure The brightest flame burns quickest Precious cure That’s what I heard her say A son’s heart owed to mother, but I must find I do believe (repeat 17 times) my way

Betting on the cure Let my heart go Yeah, it must get better than this Let your son grow Need to feel secure Mama, let my heart go Yeah, it’s gotta get better than this, this, yeah Or let this heart be still, yeah, It must get better than this still Betting on the cure Yeah, everyone’s got to have the sickness “Rebel”, my new last name ‘Cause everyone seems to need the cure Wild blood in my veins Apron strings around my neck I do believe, I do believe, I do believe The mark that still remains I left home at an early age Poor Twisted Me Of what I heard was wrong I never asked forgiveness, but what I said is Oh, poor twisted me done Oh, poor twisted me I feast on sympathy Let my heart go I chew on suffer Let your son grow 88

Mama, let my heart go And I am, I am the thorn within Or let this heart be still I do your time Never I ask of you but never I gave I take your fall But you gave me your emptiness I now take to I’m branded guilty for us all my grave Never I ask of you but never I gave So point your fingers, point right at me But you gave me your emptiness I now take to For I am shadows and will follow you my grave One and the same are we So let this heart be still I am your secret Mama, now I’m coming home I am your sin I’m not all you wished of me I am your guilty A mother’s love for her son And I am, I am the thorn within Unspoken, help me be Yeah, I took your love for granted I am the thorn within (5 times) And all the things you said to me I need your arms to welcome me, but a cold stone‘s all I see

Let my heart go The Outlaw Torn Let your son grow Mama, let my heart go And now I wait my whole lifetime for you Or let this heart be still And now I wait my whole lifetime for you I ride the dirt, I ride the tide for you Let my heart go I search the outside, search inside, for you Mama, let my heart go To take back what you left me Mm, ya never let my heart go I know I’ll always burn to be So let this heart be still The one who seeks so I may find And now I wait my whole lifetime Never I ask of you but never I gave But you gave me your emptiness I now take to Outlaw of torn my grave Outlaw of torn Never I ask of you but never I gave And I’m torn But you gave me your emptiness I now take to my grave So on I wait my whole lifetime for you So let this heart be still So on I wait my whole lifetime for you The more I search, the more my need for you Thorn Within The more I bless, the more I bleed for you You make me smash the clock and feel Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned I’d rather die behind the wheel Find me guilty of the life I feel within Time was never on my side When I’m branded this mark of shame So on I wait my whole lifetime Should I look down, disgraced Or straight ahead and know that you must blame Outlaw of torn Outlaw of torn I am the secret Yeah, I’m outlaw of torn I am the sin And I’m torn I am the guilty And I am, I am the thorn within (Hear me) And if I close my mind in fear, please pry it open Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned (See me) And if my face becomes sincere, Find me guilty when true guilt is from within beware So point your fingers, point right at me (Hold me) And when I start to come undone, For I am shadows and will follow you stitch me together One and the same are we (Save me) And when you see me strut, remind me of what left this outlaw torn I am the secret I am the sin (Hear me) And if I close my mind in fear, please I am the guilty pry it open 89

(See me) And if my face becomes sincere, I cry to the alleyway beware Confess all to the rain (Hold me) And when I start to come undone, But I lie, lie straight to the mirror stitch me together The one I’ve broken to match my face (Save me) And when you see me strut, remind me of what left this outlaw torn The trash fire is warm But nowhere safe from the ReLoad (1997) storm And I can’t bear to see What I’ve let me be Low Man’s Lyric So wicked and worn So as I write to you My eyes seek reality Of what is done and to do My fingers seek my veins Maybe you’ll understand There’s a dog at your backstep And won’t cry for this man He must come in from the rain ‘cause low man is due I fall ‘cause I’ve let go Please forgive me The net below has rot away So my eyes seek reality Please forgive me And my fingers seek my veins So low the sky is all see The trash fire is warm All I want from you is forgive me But nowhere safe from the So you bring this poor dog in from the rain storm Though he just wants right back out again And I can’t bear to see What I’ve let me be My eyes seek reality So wicked and worn My fingers seek my veins So as I write to you Of what is done and to do Fixxxer Maybe you’ll understand And won’t cry for this man Dolls of voodoo all stuck with pins ‘cause low man is due One for each of us and our sins Please forgive me So you lay us in a line My eyes seek reality Push your pins, they make us humble My fingers feel for faith Only you can tell in time Touch clean with a dirty hand If we fall or merely stumble I touch the clean to the waste But tell me The trash fire is warm Can you heal what father’s But nowhere safe from the done? storm Or fix this hole in a mother’s And I can’t bear to see son? What I’ve let me be Can you heal the broken worlds So wicked and worn within? So as I write to you Can you strip away so we may Of what is done and to do start again Maybe you’ll understand Tell me And won’t cry for this man Can you heal what father’s ‘cause low man is due done? Please forgive me Or cut this rope and let us run? Just when all seems fine and Please forgive me I’m painfree Please forgive me You jab another pin, jab another pin in me So low the sky is all see All I want from you is forgive me Mirror, mirror, upon the wall So you bring this poor dog in from the rain Break the spell or become the doll Though he just wants right back out again See you sharpening the pins 90

So the holes will remind us No more, no more pins in me We’re just-a toys in the hands of another No more, no more pins in me And in time the needles turn from shine to rust No more, no more, no more, no, no, no

But tell me St.Anger (2003) Can you heal what father’s done? Or fix this hole in a mother’s Frantic son? Can you heal the broken worlds If I could have my wasted days back within? Would I use them to get back on track? Can you strip away so we may Stop to warm at karmas burning start again Or look ahead, but keep on turning Tell me Can you heal what father’s Do I have the strength done? To know how I’ll go? Or cut this rope and let us run? Can I find it inside Just when all seems fine and To deal with what I shouldn’t know? I’m painfree You jab another pin, jab another Could I have my wasted days back pin in me Would I use them to get back on track? Yeah, jab it Go and jab it You live it or lie it! You live it or lie it! Blood for face My lifestyle determines my deathstyle Sweat for dirt My lifestyle determines my deathstyle Three x’s for the stone To break this curse Keep searching, keep on searching A ritual’s due This search goes on I believe I’m not alone This search goes on Shell of shotgun Keep searching, keep on searching Pint of gin This search goes on Numb us up to shield the pins This search goes on Renew our faith which-a way we can To fall in love with life again Frantic, tick, tick tick, tock To fall in love with life again Frantic, tick, tick tick, tick, tick, To fall in love with life again tock To fall in love Frantic, tick, tick tick, tick, tick, To fall in love tock To fall in love with life again Frantic, tick, tick tick, tick, tick, tock So tell me Can you heal what father’s I’ve worn out always being afraid done? An endless stream of fear that I’ve made Or fix this hole in a mother’s Treading water full of worry son? This frantic, tick, tick, talk of hurry Can you heal the broken worlds within? Do I have the strength Can you strip away so we may To know how I’ll go? start again Can I find it inside Tell me To deal with what I shouldn’t know? Can you heal what father’s done? Worn out always being afraid Or cut this rope and let us run? An endless stream of fear that I’ve made Just when all seems fine and I’m painfree You live it or lie it! You jab another pin, jab another You live it or lie it! pin in me My lifestyle determines my deathstyle My lifestyle determines my deathstyle No more pins in me 91

Keep searching, keep on searching This search goes on Fuck it all and no regrets This search goes on I hit the lights on these dark sets Keep searching, keep on searching I need a voice to let myself This search goes on To let myself go free On and on Fuck it all and fuckin’ no regrets Frantic, tick, tick tick, tick, tick, I hit the lights on these dark sets tock Medallion noose, I hang myself Frantic, tick, tick tick, tick, tick, Saint Anger ‘round my neck tock Frantic, tick, tick tick, tick, tick, I feel my world shake like an tock earthquake Frantic, tick, tick tick, tick, tick, Hard to see clear tock Is it me? Is it fear? I’m madly in anger with you (twice) Do I have the strength to know how I’ll I’m madly in anger with you go? I’m madly in anger with you Can I find it inside to deal with what I shouldn’t I’m madly in anger with you know? My lifestyle (birth is pain) determines my And I want my anger to be healthy deathstyle And I want my anger just for me A rising tide (life is pain) that pushes to the And I need my anger not to control other side Yeah, and I want my anger to be me My lifestyle (death is pain) determines my And I need to set my anger free deathstyle And I need to set my anger free A rising tide (it’s all the same) that pushes to the And I need to set my anger free other side And I need to set my anger free Set it free! Keep searching, keep on searching This search goes on Fuck it all and no regrets On and on I hit the lights on these dark sets Keep searching, keep on searching I need a voice to let myself This search goes on To let myself go free On and on Fuck it all and fuckin’ no regrets Frantic, tick, tick tick, tick, tick, I hit the lights on these dark sets tock Medallion noose, I hang myself Frantic, tick, tick tick, tick, tick, Saint Anger ‘round my neck tock Frantic, tick, tick tick, tick, tick, I feel my world shake like an tock earthquake Frantic, tick, tick tick, tick, tick, Hard to see clear tock Is it me? Is it fear? I’m madly in anger with you St. Anger (8 times)

Saint Anger ‘round my neck Some Kind of Monster Saint Anger ‘round my neck He never gets respect These are the eyes that can’t see me Saint Anger ‘round my neck These are the hands that drop your trust These are the boots that kick you around (You flush it out, you flush it out) Saint Anger This is the tongue that speaks on the inside ‘round my neck These are the ears that ring with hate (You flush it out, you flush it out) He never gets This is the face that’ll never change respect This is the fist that grinds you down (You flush it out, you flush it out) Saint Anger This is the voice of silence no more ‘round my neck These are the legs in circles run (You flush it out, you flush it out) He never gets This is the beating you’ll never know respect These are the lips that taste no freedom 92

This is the feel that’s not so safe This is the face you’ll never change Dirty Window This is the god that ain’t so pure This is the god that is not pure I see my reflection in the window This is the voice of silence no more It looks diff’rent, so diff’rent than what you see Projecting judgement on the world We the people, are we the people? This house is clean, baby; this house is clean We the people, are we the people? Am I who I think I am? Some kind of monster Am I who I think I am? Some kind of monster Am I who I think I am? Some kind of monster Well, look out my window and see it’s gone This monster lives wrong Court is in session and I slam my gavel down This is the face that stones you cold This is the moment that needs to breathe I’m judge and I’m jury and I’m These are the claws that scratch these wounds executioner too This is the pain that never leaves I’m judge and I’m jury and I’m This is the tongue that whips you down executioner too This is the burden of ev’ry man Projector! These are the screams that pierce your skin Protector! This is the voice of silence no more Rejector! Infector! This is the test of flesh and soul Projector! This is the trap that smells so good Rejector! This is the flood that drains these eyes Infector! These are the looks that chill to the bone Injector! These are the fears that swing overhead Defector! These are the weights that hold you down Rejector! This is the end that will never end This is the voice of silence no more I see my reflection in the window This window, clean inside, dirty on the out We the people, are we the people? I’m looking different than me We the people, are we the people? This house is clean, baby; this house is clean

Some kind of monster Am I who I think I am? Some kind of monster Am I who I think I am? Some kind of monster Oh, am I who I think I am? This monster lives Well, I look out my window and see it’s gone wrong This is the cloud that swallows trust But, court is in session and now I slam my gavel This is the black that uncolors us down This is the face that you hide from This is the mask that comes undone I’m judge and I’m jury and I’m executioner too (Ominous, I’m in us) (4 times) I’m judge and I’m jury and I’m executioner too This is the cloud that swallows trust Projector! This is the black that uncolors us Protector! This is the face that you hide from Rejector! This is the mask that comes undone Infector! Projector! (Ominous, I’m in us) (4 times) Rejector! Infector! Are we the people? Injector! Defector! Some kind of monster Rejector! Some kind of monster Detector! Some kind of monster This monster lives I’m judge and I’m jury and I’m 93

executioner too Out of the way and you’re kept to yourself I’m judge and I’m jury and I’m Ooh, can’t you see that he’s not here executioner too He doesn’t want the attention you give Projector! Ooh, unplugging from it all Protector! Invisible kid floats around in his room Rejector! Ooh, what a quiet boy you are Infector! He looks so calm floating ‘round and around in Projector! himself Rejector! Infector! Sweet Amber Injector! Defector! Wash your back so you won’t stab mine Rejector! Get in bed with your own kind Live your life so you don’t see mine I drink from the cup of denial Drape your back so you won’t shine I’m judging the world from my throne I drink from the cup of denial Ooh, then she holds my hand I’m judging the world from my throne And I lie to get a smile

Invisible Kid Using what I want To get what you want Invisible kid Never see what he did Ooh sweet amber Got stuck where he hid How sweet are you? Fallen through the grid How sweet does it get?

Invisible kid Chase the rabbit, fetch the stick Got a place of his own She rolls me over, ‘till I’m sick Where he’ll never be known She deals in habits, deals in pain Inward he’s grown I run away, but I’m back again

Invisible kid Ooh, then she holds my hand Locked away in his brain And I lie to get a smile From the shame and the pain And she squeezes tighter World down the drain I still lie to get a smile

Invisible kid She holds the pen that spells the end Suspicious of your touch She traces me and draws me in Don’t want no crutch But it’s all too much Purify

I hide inside Tear it down I hurt inside Strip the layers off I hide inside, but I’ll show you My turpentine Old pain, old looks I’m ok, just go away Cover up the past Into distance let me fade White heat, white light I’m ok, just go away Super white bones I’m ok, but please don’t stray too far Bones of you and I

Open your heart Pure if I... can’t you help me? I’m beating right here Pure if I... Won’t you help me? Open your mind Purify you and I I’m being right here, right now Purify you and I Open your heart Pure if I... Can’t you help me? I’m beating right here Pure if I... Won’t you help me? Open your mind I’m being right here, right now Truth and dare Peeling back the skin Ooh, what a good boy you are Acid wash 94

Ghost white Trap all within my hands Ultra clean Hurry up and hate me now Wanna be skeleton Kill all within my hands Clear eyes Diamond eyes I’ll die if I let go Strip the past of mine Control is love, love is control My sweet turpentine I’ll fall if I let go Control is love, love is control I can find the dirt on anything I can find the dirt on anything I will only let you breathe My air that you receive I ain’t dancing with you skeletons Then we’ll see if I let you love me I ain’t dancing with what might have been Kill kill kill kill kill All Within My Hands Death Magnetic (2008) All within my hands Squeeze it in, crush it down All within my hands Broken, Beat & Scarred Hold it dear, hold it suffocate You rise. All within my hands You fall. Love to death, smack you ‘round & ‘round and You’re down, then you rise again. All within my hands What don’t kill ya make ya more strong. Beware Rise, fall, down, rise again What don’t kill ya make ya more strong. Love is control Rise, fall, down, rise again I’ll die if I let go What don’t kill ya make ya more strong. Through black days Hate me now Through black nights Kill all within my hands Through pitch black insides Hate me now Crush all within my hands Breaking your teeth on the hard life comin’. Squeeze all within my hands Show your scars. Choke all within my hands Cutting your feet on the hard earth runnin’. Hate me now Show your scars. Trap all within my hands Breaking your life, broken, beat and scarred Hurry up and hate me now But we die hard. Kill all within my hands The dawn. All within my hands The death. Take you fear, pump me up The fight to the final breath. All within my hands What don’t kill ya make ya more strong. Let you run, then I’ll pull your leash Dawn, death, fight, final breath. What don’t kill ya make ya more strong. All within my hands Dawn, death, fight, final breath. Under thumb, under to myself What don’t kill ya make ya more strong. All within my hands They scratch me Beware They scrape me They cut and rape me Love is control I’ll die if I let go Breaking your teeth on the hard life comin’. Show your scars. Hate me now Cutting your feet on the hard earth runnin’. Kill all within my hands Show your scars. Hate me now Breaking your life, broken, beat and scarred Crush all within my hands But we die hard. Squeeze all within my hands Choke all within my hands Breaking your teeth on the hard life comin’. Hate me now Show your scars. 95

Cutting your feet on the hard earth runnin’. Was he the one causing pain Show your scars. With his careless dreaming? Bleeding your soul in a hard luck story Been afraid, always afraid, Show your scars. Of the things he’s feeling. Spilling your blood in the hot sun’s glory He could just be gone. Show your scars. He would just sail on Breaking your life, broken, beat and scarred He’ll just sail on. But we die hard. How can I be lost, if I’ve got nowhere to go? The Day That Never Comes Search for seas of gold, how come it’s got so cold? Born to push you around How can I be lost? In remembrance I relive. Better just stay down. And how can I blame you, when it’s me I can’t You pull away forgive? He hits the flesh You hit the ground. These days drift on inside a fog Mouth so full of lies Thick and suffocating. Tend to black your eyes. His sinking life, outside its hell. Just keep them closed Inside, intoxicating. Keep praying He’s run aground, like his life, Just keep waiting Water much too shallow. Slipping fast, down with his ship, Waiting for the one Fading in the shadows. The day that never comes Now a castaway. When you stand up and feel the warmth They’ve all gone away. But the son shine never comes. They’ve gone away. No, the son shine never comes. How can I be lost, if I’ve got nowhere to go? Push you cross that line, Search for seas of gold, how come it’s got so Just stay down this time. cold? Hide in yourself How can I be lost? In remembrance I relive. Crawl in yourself And how can I blame you, when it’s me I can’t You’ll have your time. forgive? God I’ll make them pay Take it back one day. Forgive me. I’ll end this day. Forgive me not. I’ll splatter color on this gray. Why can’t I forgive me?

Waiting for the one Set sail to sea, but pulled off course The day that never comes By the light of golden treasure. When you stand up and feel the warmth How could he know this new dawn’s light But the son shine never comes. Would change his life forever? How can I be lost, if I’ve got nowhere to go? Love... is a four letter word, Search for seas of gold, how come it’s got so And never spoken here. cold? Love... is a four letter word, How can I be lost? In remembrance I relive. Here in this prison. So how can I blame you, when it’s me I can’t I suffer this no longer, forgive? I’ll put an end to this, I swear. This, I swear. The son will shine. This, I swear, This, I swear, This, I swear!

The Unforgiven III

How could he know this new dawn’s light Would change his life forever? Set sail to sea, but pulled off course By the light of golden treasure.