“Keep the Cat Free”

10/05/13 Issue 1546 felixonline.co.uk Flexible screens Only on tape Felix Science interviews an Imperial Felix Music interviews the professor researching OLEDs. Page 12 creator of Opal Tapes. Page 21 Dialogue over Acton Inside...>> College stress they will continue to look for cheap, close accommodation ARTS Structural inspection of Evelyn Gardens and Garden Hall Garden removed from website for next year’s freshers, with Paragon and Xenia remaining Working group of staff and students set up for input in Acton development Berkeley First Philip Kent Reporter for keeping Garden Hall, one of the cheapest and the most oversubscribed Hall of Residence. Th e Union has replied to the Col- Alongside this, Beaumont argued lege’s response to the Against Acton for retaining Evelyn Gardens, a group- Artist’s impression of campaign, started earlier this year fol- ing of fi ve halls at Evelyn Gardens, the new halls. Also a A review of the lowing the unveiling of plans by the near Gloucester Road. Th e halls in level on The Sims 4, College to construct a 724 bed hall of Evelyn Gardens are owned by the maybe... Design Awards 15 residence in North Acton. Paul Beau- Wellcome Trust, and are leased to the >> mont, Union President, sent a list of College, though this lease is expiring requests to the College, which went to within the next few decades. the Management Board in March. It was also of concern that the Ac- Th e North Acton campaign mus- commodation Survey, held in 2011, TRAVEL tered large amounts of support from may contain “discrepancies” when the student body at Imperial College, compared to the Accommodation a body that has in the past been ac- Strategy. According to an article on cused of not using their voice. A peti- the Union’s website (now unavail- tion organized by the Union received able), data from the survey suggested 709 signatures, and a separate petition student’s want accommodation close from the Garden Hall Committee got to College, at a price similar to that to 1,461. charged by Evelyn Gardens. Building on from this, Beaumont Union’s Requests argued that the North Acton project Paul’s letter to the College comprised should have had proper consultation of fi ve key requests to resolve the with stakeholders before the plans Greece: a summer complaints of the student body. First were approved. In his requests, he and foremost of these was to push asked that such consultations >> 7 paradise >>24 A first isn’t all people look for... HANGMAN

Tim Arbabzadah Editor-in-Chief despair. So perhaps it’s not the best ful laboratories tend to be most ef- subject. Th e letter was clarifying what time to be told that getting a fi rst isn’t fectively run with a happy collabo- he meant when sources reported a all there is to life. rative team, essential in almost conversation that took place during a It’s exam season. Everyone at Imperial In a letter to Th e Times, Profes- all science. Good degrees are school visit. is slaving away behind a desk, energy sor Lord Robert Winston said important but they are not Lord Winston is currently a Pro- drink of choice in hand. It’s the time that “Scientists are best not ap- the only measure of suc- fessor of Science and Society and of year when fi nding a spare computer pointed purely on the basis of cess.” Lord Winston wanted Emeritus Professor of Fertility Stud- in the Library is enough to make you whether they had fi rst-class de- to explain to those who as- ies at Imperial College London. He is Guide to the banker ecstatic, and noticing it’s not free and grees; other human values are pire to a science degree that mostly known for his work in science 26 someone is using the classic penny in important.” He went science is not “harder” communication, including his recent lifestyle >> the arrow key trick will send you into on to say: “Success- than other academic series Child of our Time. 2 FRIDAY 10 MAY EDITOR’S PICKS 12 25 28 SCIENCE >> TRAVEL >> PUZZLES >> OLEDs Totally Mexico A welcome break Weird fact about OLEDs: when Taking a break from thermo? A massive slitherlink, hashi, I applied to university I spe- Escapism is a nice feeling some- a crossword, and Passi, what cifi cally singled them out as an times. The title here is a refer- more could you want in a re- area of interest on my UCAS ence to the excellent Nathan vision break? It’s like being on form. I may have exaggerated... Barley by the way! The Crystal Maze.

MARQUEE WATCH PART 2 Examining hope Queen’s Lawn hasn’t got a marquee, but it does have a bouncy castle... Tim Arbabzadah Editor-in-Chief

t’s that time of year once last time” approach very much. Halls again. The last term and the During the next few weeks you may College and the Union ping ponged last stretch of College until start to think that exams and work are responses to each other. This is a step Iexams are over (hopefully you the only thing there is to life. At a place forward. Now there is a much more won’t be returning in sum- like Imperial it’s really easy to get into open dialogue. Before it was all things mer for resits). You can almost sense the mindset that it is the most impor- that nobody was able to tell anyone the high tension and stress in the air. tant aspect of your existence. All of about. The fact that the Management It’s a familiar feeling and reminds you the work and your grades do matter Board have responded to students is that the culmination of months (and a lot, but remember that there is light defi nitely moving in the right direc- in some people’s case years) of work at the end of the tunnel. Just keep a tion. However, we must be careful. is just around the corner. Much like positive mental image of what it’ll be The words must turn into actions and Phil Collins once said, you can feel it like when you fi nish. It can be any- fi rm guarentees. Also, we must make coming in the air tonight – which, inci- thing: sunbathing on a beach/watch- sure we don’t all just get bored, forget dentally, I’ve only just realised actually ing endless TV/reading a good book/ about it, and let things quietly slip by sounds pretty rude when you think in Belushi’s calling the toilet attendant without the student voice being heard. LOLCAT OF TEH WEEK: Finding these is a perk of the job about it. “mate” and inexplicably giving him £2 Garden Hall and Evelyn Gardens So, standard advice about not coins for no reason – as long as it’s are still under threat, as is Pembridge. stressing too much and blah blah something that makes you smile it’s They really are a great asset and make blah. It really does apply though. It’s what you should remember you will being a fresher at Imperial an amazing better to actually do three hours of be able to do in a few month’s time. If year. In terms of student experience focussed work and then an hour of that still doesn’t help then remember (the latest catchphrase that basically chilling out as opposed to fi ve hours this: it is just an exam. Nobody will means how good your time is here) of not really concentrating. If you’re die if you fail it (erm, except maybe having such great, cheap, close ac- not a fi nal year then spare a thought for medics? But, you will have loads commodation was a real boost. We for them. In your fourth year you may of on the job training I’m sure/hope). must hope that there will be some have had seven and over years of ex- Even if you do, there’s always a way good news on this front at some point, ams in summer. By then you defi nitely out. Retakes, resitting a year, going and also continue to lobby for their get exam fatigue, and really have to to a different university to start fresh, survival. They are really worth it for motivate yourself to remember that there’s a range of options. So, parting Imperial. In terms of Acton, there must it’s just one last push. Unless you do words from the strange Agony Uncle now be a positive dialogue. We have to a law conversion course, or are go- persona I appear to have adopted: see what we can do to make it the best ing into a job where you have to do work hard for this short period of time, it can be, if it must be. It’s defi nitely training and pass exams. Sorry, that’s and it’ll all be over soon. Then you can good that there is a working group and probably not helping the whole “one forget differential equations exist. students are involved.

Felix, Beit Quad, Prince Consort Road, London SW7 2BB. Email: [email protected]. Tel: 020 7594 8072. Fax: 020 7594 8065. THIS BROUGHT Printed by Iliffe Print Cambridge, Winship Road, Cambridge. Registered newspaper ISSN 1040-0711. Copyright © Felix 2013. WEEK WASTO YOUBY Editor-in-Chief Tim Arbabzadah Deputy Editor Saskia Verhagen Assistant Editor Matt Colvin News Editors Aemun Reza, Nida Mahmud Features Editors Caroline Wood, Stephen Smith Business Editor Deepka Rana Science Editors Philip Kent, Laurence Pope, Philippa Skett Politics Editors Padraic Calpin, Marie-Laure Hicks Food Editors Carol Ann Cheah, Sophia Goldberg, Yiango Mavrocostanti Comment Editors George Barnett, Navid Nabijou, James Simpson Fashion Editors Saskia Verhagen, Alice Yang Arts Editors Eva Rosenthal, Meredith Thomas Books Editor Maciej Matuszewski Music Editors Mark England, Ross Gray, Simon Hunter Television Editor Lucia Podhorska Film Editors Katy Bettany, John Park, Lucy Wiles Games Editor Ross Webster Technology Editors Jason Parmar, Maximilian Eggl Coffee Break Battyman Matt Colvin Travel Editor Veronika McQuade Sports Editors Oli Benton, Sorcha Cotter, Margot Pikovsky Online Editors Philip Kent, Jonathan Kim Puzzles Commanders Louisa Byrne, Sotirios Karamitsos Copy Chief Annina Sartor Copy Editors Christopher Witham, Carol Ann Cheah, Ross Webster Illustrators Hamish Muir, Outi Supponen FRIDAY 10 MAY 3

News Editors: Aemun Reza, Nida Mahmud NEWS [email protected] RCS Motor race towards Royal Society Fellowships for three Imperial scientists competition success Tim Arbabzadah Editor-in-Chief RCS Motor Club Philip Kent Reporter Th ree Imperial scientists have been granted Fellowship of the Royal So- ciety. Professor the Lord Ara Darzi Much celebration was had by mem- of Denham, Professor Joanna Haigh, bers of RCS Motor Club as Jezebel, the and Professor Sir Steve Bloom were all vintage fi re engine they maintain, was recognised for their “contributions to awarded ‘Second in Class’ at the 52nd science, both in fundamental research HCVS London to Brighton Run, held resulting in greater understanding, last Sunday. and also in leading and directing sci- Between posing Th e HCVS London to Brighton entifi c and technological progress in for portraits, Run is an annual competition where industry and research establishments”. Charles II gave it commercial vehicles aged 20 years or Lord Darzi holds a host of positions a Royal Charter older travel from Crystal Palace to with the Imperial College Health- the Brighton seafront, where they are care NHS Trust and at Imperial. He judged for the quality of their restora- said that he was “honoured and de- tion. Th is is not to be confused with lighted” by the appointment, and said done, saying: “Th e world pandemic of the world famous Veterean Car Club that it was “humbling to be amongst a obesity causes great suff ering,” run that takes place every November, group of such distinguished peers”. He Professor Haigh, who is the Head organised by the Royal Automobile Jezebel thanked his colleagues for their help of the Department of Physics and the Club. and support. President of the Royal Meteorologi- Th is is not the fi rst time Jezebel has Professor Sir Steve Bloom is the cal Society, is mainly involved in re- won an award at this competition, back under its own power. Last year it clubs are] a great way to show case the Head of Division for Diabetes, En- searching climate science. having come best in class in 2009. didn’t enter due to being off the road extra-curricular clubs at Imperial,” be- docrinology and Metabolism, in the Th e Royal Society, which was found- However this award has additional following a major mechanical failure fore concluding “getting students out Department of Medicine and Chief of ed in the 1600s, is a self-governing Fel- signifi cance being the fi rst time in the previous November. and about and representing Imperial – Service for Endocrinology and Pathol- lowship of many world class scientists. nearly four years that the aged mas- Chairman of the RCS Motor Club, it’s exactly what the Mascots are there ogy in the Imperial College Health- Offi cially founded on 28 November cot has made it to the coastal city and Stephen Ball, told Felix “[the motor for.” care NHS Trust. He said: “It is a very 1660 the Society it was granted a Roy- pleasing honour for the entire team al Charter by King Charles II. Notable who have worked together over many former Presidents include Sir Isaac years.” He added that it will spur him Newton, Sir Humphry Davy, and Sir Imperial student wins national on to work as there is much to still be Ernest Rutherford, to name a few.

science communication competion Sponsored Editorial

Stephanie Walton Stephanie Walton Reporter More student cuts

Imperial College’s Leon Vanstone has been crowned the UK’s FameLab Discount haircuts for Imperial champion 2013. In this annual hunt for the nation’s best science commu- nicators, each contestant has exactly students at Fresh Hairdressers three minutes to impress a panel of three judges. Th ey may explain any near South Kensington scientifi c concept but cannot use as- sisting slides or large props. Th is year Men’s cuts £22 (normally £35) discount and bring your student ID the standard was very high and Leon Women’s cut and rough dry £28 we look forward to seeing you. didn’t expect to beat the other ten Women’s cut and salon fi nish We use only the best products, fi nalists. However he won over the blow-dry £38 (normally £55) Wella, Moroccan Oil, L’Oreal, and judges with his truly genuine enthu- KMS and offer free coffee and siasm when describing the landing of Also winner of FRESH Hairdressers has been herbal teas. NASA’s Mars Curiosity Rover. “fastest phone offering high quality, fashionable To book an appointment call 0207 Leon’s early interest in rockets and spinner in the UK” haircuts for over 20 years. All of 823 8968. engines led him to study Aeronautical our haircuts are by highly experi- Tuesday to Saturdays 9.30 to 5.30 Engineering. His PhD is on hyperson- enced stylists, NOT trainees. We are only 70 metres from South ics, which involves studying how fl u- Kensington tube station. ids (including air) travel over objects As an Outreach Postgraduate Am- edge of your understanding, admit it. TO GET A GREAT HAIRCUT www.freshhairdressers.co.uk at high speed. He has use of a wind bassador for Imperial College, Leon He also stresses that science commu- 1) You don’t have to spend a lot of gun on campus which fi res air at an in- has extensive science communication nication isn’t just about the big stage. money at expensive trendy salons credible 1.5km/s albeit for only 6mil- experience garnered from a diverse It’s about talking to friends and family 2) You don’t have to spend hours liseconds at a time. range of presentations and demon- about what you do. It’s about explain- as a Guinea pig at a training school But Leon hasn’t always been a sci- strations (in one such demo he set ing climate change to the person in the 3) You don’t have to be butchered entist; he spent an unfulfi lling year in his hand on fi re which was exciting street. But wanting to do it and taking at some cheap Barbers fi nancial services and has three suits but something he wouldn’t want to the time and eff ort to do it well-- that’s 4) You don’t have to wait till you go to show for it. However it was in an repeat). He believes that you must al- what makes the diff erence. back home orange skull-and-cross-bones t-shirt, ways explain science to the best of your jeans and “skaties”, that he triumphed knowledge. You must always think of For more information visit http:// Come to FRESH, ask for a student in London last month. your audience. And if you reach the famelab.org/ 4 FRIDAY 10 MAY

News Editors: Aemun NEWS Reza, Nida Mahmud [email protected] HAB you seen our balloons? All photos: ICSEDS Zoe Versey Reporter likelihood of retrieval (details can be found on their website and Twitter). Alongside these HAB launches, mem- On Sunday 5 May, members of Imperi- bers were also able to launch their very al College Students for the Exploration own model rockets, and unlike with the and Development of Space (ICSEDS) HABs they had a 100% retrieval suc- travelled to Elsworth, Cambridgesh- cess rate! The most impressive of the ire for their fi rst launch. The aim was rockets was that of Project Offi cer, Tee- to launch two high altitude balloons Jay Taiwo, who was launching a rocket the launch site. (HABs) and several model rockets built just under a meter long with a H125 ICSEDS is open to anyone with an in- over the course of the year. motor (average thrust 125N compared terest in space. Current projects include The two HABs were the culmination to the 1N to 3N A-class starting motors high-powered model rocketry, high alti- of ICSEDS’s very own space race, with the other members had) in order to ob- tude ballooning, and design of a ramjet teams Alpha and Omega competing to tain his level 1 certifi cation. ICSEDS engine. ICSEDS offers the chance to design and launch a HAB able to take happily announced that he passed the learn new skills working on hands-on photographs of the curvature of the assessment after an exemplary launch, projects and to meet other space nuts/ Earth for the lowest cost. Team Alpha and this will allow ICSEDS to launch valuable industry contacts. ICSEDS is a chose to use a second hand HTC De- high powered rockets under his super- branch of UKSEDS, and part of a glob- sire smartphone, providing them with vision in the future. al SEDS network that started at MIT a camera, GPS tracker, battery, and ICSEDS said that they would like to in 1980 and features many prominent processor in one package. Meanwhile thank the Imperial College Chemical space fi gures as alumni. Team Omega built their payload from teams lost the signals of their GPS bigger antenna. They are hoping some- Engineering Department, for donating scratch, using two Arduinos and a vari- trackers, though another group of high one will come across them before they the helium for both teams; Steve Ran- For more information on projects and ety of sensors to track their balloon’s lo- altitude balloonists picked up one of the get destroyed by the elements (they are dall, for kindly offering his time and membership Google ‘ICSEDS’. cation and altitude, and capture images. signals during the ascent. They learnt predicted to have landed just east of Pe- expertise at the launch, and their Pro- Sadly, despite the wonderful weather that they need to invest in more pow- terborough) and have started an online ject Offi cer’s family members for vol- and favourable wind conditions both erful ground tracking equipment and a campaign to raise awareness and the unteering to drive the helium tanks to

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News Editors: Aemun Reza, Nida Mahmud NEWS [email protected] Engaging the Wellcome Trust over the Evelyn Gardens lease

Berkeley First continued from the front page College has stressed that they will >> continue to look for cheap, close ac- Hall changes take place in the future, and addition- commodation. As part of this, they ally a consultation should be held now are considering the future of Garden with regards to the North Acton pro- Hall, Evelyn Gardens, and Pembridge timeline ject. Hall, which hasn’t been mentioned Artist’s Finally, worried by lack of concrete before. Pembridge currently houses impression of the promises for wardening provision at 96 students, which College feel is too new halls at night 18 February the new halls, a request was made that small for the medium term, and the College Announce publicly the wardening ratios are maintained. hall may require extension. the purchase of the land In 2011 Felix reported on a reduction Regarding Evelyn Gardens and Gar- in wardening provision at Eastside den Hall, College stated that struc- 19 February halls, with these rooms since convert- tural inspection is needed of the halls, Union launch their campaign ed to ‘Deluxe’ accommodation – with which is intended to take place fol- against the changes a £250 per week price to match. lowing the end of the academic year. A consultation has been promised on 22 February College respond the fi ndings by the end of 2013. Addi- College put Q &A with Th e Union received a one-and-a-half tionally, it is likely that some potential Simon Harding-Roots and page statement from the College’s proposals cannot be circulated with Debra Humphris online management board, the board that the student body due to commercial authorised the purchase of the land in sensitivity, however Beaumont noted 23 February North Acton. Th eir response covered that this likely means that Evelyn Gar- Union sends list of fi ve the majority of the points from. dens lease will be looked into. requests to College Th e fi rst part of their report covered Finally, it was noted that College do Union Council step in pressed how unusual it was to get a their current view. Th ey were keen to not make a profi t from accommoda- In a busy meeting of the Union Coun- response from College’s Management 26 February stress the increase in bed spaces at the tion charges, pointing out the cost of cil on April 30th, one of the main Board, and how much of a good sign Union launches show of newly refurbished Wilson House, due building maintenance and property agenda items was a response to the this was. In addition to this, it was support campaign to open ready for the next cohort of values. College’s document. In the paper, also confi rmed that Simon Harding-Roots, students, as well as an upcoming in- by Beaumont, he listed a number of Chief Operations Offi cer of Imperial 7 March crease in bed spaces at Beit Hall, fol- points for the Council to improve. College, was currently engaging with The way forward with North Students protest Garden lowing the loss of East Basement. Th ey included: the Wellcome Trust to investigate the Acton Hall closure after creating One signifi cant point was noting • Th e Union should contribute posi- lease issue of Evelyn Gardens, petition that Garden Hall will close next year, Being the item of complaint with the tively to the new halls, regardless of Finally, in what appears to be the due to “needing refurbishment”. It is student body, a specifi c mention was the outcome to Evelyn Gardens and beginnings of a formal consultation 20 March unclear as to whether College intend made of the North Acton develop- Garden Hall, and agree a consultation process, a new working group has Management Board meet to refurbish the property over the ment. College have promised that procedure with the College as part of been established by College to estab- and discuss the situation next year, however it has disappeared wardening provision will be made at this. lish what use is made of space within from the Accommodation website. It’s the new hall, in addition to the recep- • Th at College should clarify what the new Acton development, amongst 22 March sister hall, Weeks, remains, alongside tionist service. It was not mentioned, they mean by being ‘committed to other matters. Th is working group College responds to Union’s the temporary Paragon and Xenia. however, how many wardens there providing a range of accommodation consists of people including sabbati- fi ve requests Additionally, it was noted that would be in the new hall. options at a variety of prices, which cal offi cers, members of College, and Evelyn Gardens would require some Additionally, the development refl ect quality and location’. a cross section of students at Imperial 30 April work in the near future. Fisher Hall will go ahead, due to a contract be- • Th at the Union President should College, covering those from all back- Union Council discuss and has been mooted for closure in the ing signed with property developer be included in commercially sensitive grounds and natures. Th e fact that vote on response to College’s past due to the state of the premises, Berkeley First. However, consulta- negotiations. such a working group exists is of huge response though the impending expiry of the tions will be undertaken with stu- • And that College should clarify the promise to many at Imperial, possibly lease caused College to fi le a joint dents, wardens, and other members refurbishment process of Garden Hall, showing a gradual move towards a full planning application with the Well- of College staff to ensure that the and what consultations may be part of consultation. come Trust to convert it into a nurs- correct steps are made on the way this. ing home. forward. At the meeting, Beaumont ex- >> Editorial: page 2 8 FRIDAY 10 MAY

News Editors: Aemun NEWS Reza, Nida Mahmud [email protected] Business School appoint new Dean

Aemun Reza News Editor global experience. Th ese courses have Imperial In his spare time, he likes to play Anand, I would like to thank Professor raised over $40 million from philan- College tennis and describes himself as a “jazz Dot Griffi ths for serving as Dean of thropic donors and corporate sup- London nut”. He also says he loves cooking and the Business School for the last year, Professor G. ‘Anand’ Anandalingam porters. throwing dinner parties and that he is which comes on top of outstanding has been named the new Dean of Im- In an interview with Imperial Col- a big supporter of Tottenham Hotspur service to the School over many years.” perial College Business School and lege, Professor G. Anandalingam said and follows cricket. He is also a fan of Professor Anandalingam said: “I’m Professor of Management Science. He “Academics in top institutions are American football and baseball. looking forward intensely to working replaces Professor Dorothy Griffi ths self-motivated to create knowledge Sir Keith O’Nions, President and at Imperial College Business School, OBE who has been Head since Febru- and disseminate it to their peers. I also Rector of Imperial said: “Anand’s pas- an environment where the academics ary 2012. want to inspire and motivate them to sion to see Business students taught conduct fantastic research, the stu- He currently holds the position really take education and teaching se- really well and for them to do great dents are devoted to academic excel- as the Dean of the Robert H. Smith riously.” things in the world, his commitment lence and the university’s reputation is School of Business at the University of He also added, “I think that we to research excellence, and his vi- second-to-none. Maryland in USA, which is ranked in should work on problems that have an sion for engaging strongly outside the “As the newest Faculty of this great the top 25 globally for the quality of its impact in the world rather than sim- School and the College made him the institution and thanks to my excellent programs. Professor Anandalingam ply publish marginal papers for a small outstanding choice to lead Imperial predecessors, the Business School has founded the Smith’s School Centre for group of peers, however reputed. We College Business School. done incredibly well in a short space Electronic Markets and Enterprises all have the responsibility to make “He brings a global perspective, of time. I’m now very excited by the and was its director from 2001-2004. a diff erence in the world and to do a talent for developing strong rela- chance to apply my connectivity and He starts his new position at Impe- things that will help those who cannot tionships with donors and industrial experience towards making Impe- rial on 1st August 2013. help themselves whether in medicine, partners, and has the experience of rial even more proud of its Business A known expert in electronic mar- science, engineering or business. I be- working across disciplines that will School. kets and telecommunications net- lieve that one should not compromise research papers and served as editor support the Business School’s focus “We have one of the best managed, works, he has introduced several spe- on ethics and social responsibility”. of a number of academic journals. on academic excellence and help it most nimble and entrepreneurial in- cialised Masters courses that aim to He took his undergraduate degree at He is also the co-author of the book to fl ourish within Imperial’s science, stitutions in the world. It is simply a expand the School’s global reach with Cambridge University and completed Beware of the Winner’s Curse, a book technology and medicine-focussed matter of time before Imperial is con- degrees and educational programmes his PhD at Harvard. Professor Anan- which critically evaluates the technol- environment. sidered to be the best global univer- that will provide the students with dalingam has published more than 75 ogy and dot.com boom of the 1990s. “At the same time as welcoming sity.”

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Comment Editors: George Barnett, Navid Nabijou, James Simpson COMMENT [email protected] An uncaring university

mperial College doesn’t care about its students and there’s nothing we can do to change Iit. Th e Sabbs are generally powerless and many of the Union’s decisions don’t seem to have our best interests at heart. Much like a certain yeasty (and delicious) sandwich fi lling, those statements will either strike a chord with you or be they will dismissed Oli Benton out of hand as an exaggeration. Th ey shouldn’t be. Th ey sum up everything that is wrong about Imperial; why the NSS rating is so low, why we’re never going to ‘beat’ Oxbridge, why the at- tendance at the bars is falling and why those controversial halls in North Ac- ton are going to be built, whether you like it or not. College’s unrelenting apathy to- wards its students and academic staff , its disregard for their views and opinions is not a new development (Holland Club/Translation Unit/bio- science cuts anyone?) and only con- tinues to drag Imperial down. With- out an eff ective Union countering Imperial College is good at business. money from their decisions, money to achieve? this, the slide into anonymity will be Really good, (for example the site of to help subsidise your labs, and the Obviously the Sabbs kept the Un- even quicker. the new campus in West London was person who made the relevant deci- ion working, they kept it ticking over Recently the Medics protested the obtained cheaply through shrewd in- sions will still be in their job while and that’s great. However from a BUCS merger of Medic and College vestment and property deals) and the you’ll have graduated and be slaving small team of people that we’re pay- sports teams. Th is is a contentious is- money has already been spent. Do away, working 70+ hours a week in ing £186k a year I’d expect a lot more. sue, but only between the administra- you think the developer is going to a dingy offi ce doing consultancy and Yes, in 2011/12 we paid £186,098 So why do tors and the people actually playing refund the money for a few stickers selling your soul so you won’t care ei- for Sabbatical Salaries and accom- the sport. It is something even most plastered around the Union build- ther. In my opinion, this game is too modation. What do we get back rival rugby players can agree on and ing? Th e buildings are already being short sighted for Imperial to play if for this huge sum of money? Do we College dis- the reasons behind it are worth ex- built so stopping it is as likely being they have any aspirations other than even know if they are doing their job amining as they are endemic to Col- served quickly in Metric on an ACC the fi nancial ones. Th e NSS ratings properly? I hope they are and I would lege thinking. Is having two separate night. Paul Beaumont was part of the will continue to slide, people’s expe- hope that doing your job properly regard us so? sports teams a historical relic or is it decisions and has been vehemently rience here will become worse and consists of a lot more than keeping upholding 148 years of tradition, 148 against it from the start; look how worse and the continued slip into the Union ticking over. In my naivety ... You’ll be years that once lost can never be re- much they listened to him. Either his anonymity; academically, sportingly I would assume that’s one of the jobs covered? Why go through the eff ort inclusion was a box ticking exercise, and socially will hasten. To quote of the hardworking team of perma- of restructuring the whole system, he was ineff ective in putting his views Morpheus, IC “are the gatekeep- nent Union staff (~420k combined gone in three and if the sports teams are merged, across, or a combination of both. ers. Th ey are guarding all the doors, salary in 2011/12). I want my elected why stop there? Why not absorb the #Againstacton is trying to make a they are holding all the keys. Which offi cers to fi ght for change, to make whole Medic SU, make their Presi- diff erence but now his hands are tied means that sooner or later, someone my time here better and to protect years. In four dent a DP(Medicine), make Reyn- and it is too late, like trying to shut is going to have to fi ght them.” While my interests from the businessmen olds Eastside II and have done with the gate after the horse is already on I’m not advocating bending spoons, who run IC. So have they done this? years no one it? BUCS points. All universities are Tesco’s shelves. So now the halls are stopping bullets with your hands or Th ey haven’t come close for me, but ranked by BUCS points, which are defi nitely going to be built, the Union anything else from the Matrix, some- what about the wider populous? gained for doing well in sport with should be pushing for a massive in- thing needs to be done and despite However, what I didn’t want was will remem- the BUCS leagues. Imperial College crease in infrastructure like lobbying greasing their palms handsomely, the these people that represent my views currently sits at 20th. If the Med- the council to upgrade the roads and Sabbs don’t seem to have the stomach to go out of their way to stop me en- “ber a time ics’ points were included we’d go up cycle network around there (the pot- or the weapons for this fi ght. joying my time here. Th e list is long a place to 19th. I can’t even begin holes are awful) or fi nd some money So College doesn’t care and really and oft repeated; entry charges, tank- to imagine how many more athletic in the inevitable profi ts to run buses it’s not College’s problem, that’s why ard prices and eff ectively banning without halls sporty people that extra spot is going between campuses. While the build- they fund the Union; the Union is yards are all factors that contribute to attract. However, I believe the neg- ings are going to be built, meshing supposed to be the brake on the slide. to the decline of any semblance of a ative impact of the merger includes this satellite campus with the exist- Our voice, how we can tell the Col- social scene and these are just within in North Ac- less access to sports for everyone ing services is an area that the Union lege what we want and need. Unfor- the Union Bar! and less money spent on sports as a could really make a diff erence in. tunately our brake cable has been cut. Despite all these negativities social- whole (for example, ICURFC and IC- So why do College disregard us so? Th e Sabbs have very little infl uence ness does still thrive, if you look for it. ton or when SMRFC both support 3 rugby teams. Why are they still going to build those and nobody seems to make any real I just wish that someone actually gave If they merged, maintaining a total of halls and merge the sports teams even progress. While this may seem harsh, a ha’penny for what we thought about Varsity was four teams would be more realistic) when nobody really wants it? You’ll can anyone name any of the Deputy our time here when we’re not giving let alone having to fi nd new Varsity be gone in three years. In four years Presidents from two years ago? And them money or passing exams. I wish rivals. no one will remember a time without what were their policies, what did the Union could fi ght the good fi ght Medics vs “But I don’t care about them mess- halls in North Acton or when Varsity they achieve? Are the Freshers even and support its students. I love being ing with the sports, I want to know was Medics vs College; it will be the aware of Summerballgate that cost at Imperial and have had a great three why they are still going to build those norm to have an hour commute in as their Union £128k? If that can slip years here already, but just think how College halls that everybody is so against!” a fresher and to play Varsity against into dim and distant memory, what great this place could be; think of the ” Th ey will carry on regardless because Roehampton. College will have made hope do less notorious Offi cers hope potential. 10 FRIDAY 10 MAY

Comment Editors: George Barnett, COMMENT Navid Nabijou, James Simpson [email protected]

‘In response to ‘Th e Miranda Ef- fect’ 15th March:

Letters Giulia, please don’t feel off ended but you know Jackie f***ing Chan about comedy. I said it once and I’ll say it again: Miranda is the worst, most un- demanding, lowest form of comedy out there. You can’t even classify it as slapstick – the acting is shoddy, ma- terial bland, no ‘quotables’ and zero relevance or message to it. On top of it, this omnishambles is wrapped in some utter devotion from TV execs and the UK’s lowest common de- nominator when imaginative moc- kumentaries like ‘People Like Us’ or ‘People Just Do Nothing’ struggle to get a series or be renewed. Miranda fans – ‘you can change’ to paraphrase LCD Soundsystem and start appreciating good com- edy. I will start you off gently with Arrested Development, taking it up a notch with UK version of Th e Of- fi ce, followed by Alan Partridge, then candidly onto Snuff Box (Matt Something bugging you? That person Berry), escalating with A. Iannucci’s next to you sniffi ng too loudly while Th e Th ick of It, enticing you with you are trying to integrate? Think Charlie Brooker’s works, nearing the ley and Jam. do refl ect that a lot. I just feel you last VHS in Oxfam – they won’t take Ukip are clowns? Write for Comment! climax with Th e Day Today & Brass Don’t feel discouraged – Uni is haven’t probably been shown some her anymore. It’s easy, just tell us what you think Eye (Chris Morris) and then and only about discovering who you really are of that ‘good stuff ’ because let’s face about anything! then, topping it off with Nathan Bar- as a person and your comedy choices it, comedy-wise, Miranda is like the – Patrick

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12 FRIDAY 10 MAY

Science Editors: Philip Kent, SCIENCE Laurence Pope, Philippa Skett [email protected] Helter skelter helicenes Laurence Pope interviews Dr Fuchter, a synthetic and medicinal chemist at ICL materialsgate.de Dr Matthew Fuchter is a Senior whilst also generating CP-light? Can of CP OLEDs is as the backlight of an Lecturer in Synthetic and Medicinal we tune the wavelength to emit more LCD, leading to more energy effi cient chemistry at Imperial College Lon- than just one colour of light? Th ere are displays. don. In close collaboration with Dr still a lot of unanswered questions! 3D cinema relies on CP-light, split Alasdair Campbell from the depart- Academically, we want to further between your two eyes. In theory you ment of Physics, Dr Fuchter and his re- study what is happening, what the could fabricate an OLED TV that uti- search group have dedicated some of helicene is doing to the polymer. How lises diff erent CP pixels to create a thin, their research to OLEDs and a group does that relate to the eff ect? Heli- fully fl exible 3D display with diff erent of molecules known as helicenes. cenes are fully conjugated molecules, pixels emitting diff erent CP light. which can carry charge and emit and In photonics, the technology of Laurence Pope: So what is an absorb light on their own. Potentially light, there’s an interest in CP-light OLED? How do they diff er from you could further tune the helicene to emitting and CP-light detecting de- regular LEDs? improve the performance of the de- vices. Optical communications is for Dr Matthew Fuchter: OLED stands vice in terms of conductivity or light me an interesting area, which relies on for organic light-emitting diode. Th ey emission. a light source being on or off to trans- diff er from regular LEDs in that the lu- Beyond that, OLEDs are one exam- fer information. Using an intercon- minescent material used within them ple of plastic electronics. Th is encom- vertible CP-light source could double is organic, i.e. carbon-based. Th is or- passes a whole range of OLED devices, channel capacity, from just on and off ganic material can be a molecule of such as organic transistors, organic to on, on-left, on-right and off . Work by groups such as Dr Fuchter’s is part of the ongoing push to develop low molecular weight, or a polymer. solar cells and so on. Do helicenes flexible plastic electronics. have applicability with other devices? LP: How would you sum up the sig- LP: Your work focuses partly on Do they have any advantage, with their nifi cance of your research into heli- helicenes. What makes them so im- chiral property? Again, we still don’t cene use in OLEDs? portant in OLED research? forms. We were interested in how this the non-chiral polymer, not the heli- know just yet. MF: Th e signifi cance for me lies in the MF: My group’s research came from chirality could potentially be exploited cene. It therefore looks like the heli- novelty in what we’ve discovered. I a molecular interest in this class of in organic devices. cene is interacting with the polymer LP: Has much research been carried would make two statements. molecule. When we started this work Putting these features together we in some way, most likely changing the out with helicenes before? We are the fi rst research group to helicenes hadn’t been explored in any wanted to explore the idea of using conformation of the polymer to emit MF: Th ere are some patents out there show that a chiral small molecule do- depth as an OLED emissive material. helicenes as the organic emissive ma- circularly polarised light. Almost cer- that claim novelty over the use of pant can induce polymer OLEDs to Th ere are already small molecules and terial in OLEDs. It’s an interesting new tainly the helicene is infl uencing the helicenes in OLEDs. None of them directly emit CP light. Th is is the fi rst polymers that have arisen from aca- class of molecule in their own right, polymer structure, possibly organising however have claimed the chirality time it’s been shown that you can use demic and industrial research which but also have the potential to directly it into a helical conformation. of helicenes, as they use the racemic dopants in this approach. produce light emitting devices with generate polarised light. mixture, a mix of left- and right- hand- Th is is also the fi rst study to use good effi ciencies, wide colour pallets, Light can be polarised in certain LP: So where is your research now ed molecules. Th eir claims of novelty asymmetrically pure helicenes in this long-lasting stability and so forth. ways. One form is circularly polarised heading? stem from the helicene’s thermal sta- regard. Th ere are very few papers fo- We came from another angle, ex- (CP) light, where the light wave trav- MF: Th ere are a few diff erent direc- bility properties. cusing on this asymmetrical mix. ploring a feature of the helicene itself. erses as a helix, which also comes in tions we’re heading in. One angle is Helicenes are thermally-stable poly- left- and right-handed forms. Stand- more focused on commercial tech- LP: What particular applications To read more about the Fuchter cyclic aromatics. Aromatic molecules ard OLEDs produce unpolarised light, nologies based on this, further vali- can you see arising from this re- Group’s research visit imperial.ac.uk/ are fl at, but if you start to fuse them which needs to be specially fi ltered dating its eff ect using other polymers search? fuchtergroup. For more information together you get to a point where the to generate CP light. We wondered and helicenes. How good can we get MF: Th ere are several potential appli- on Imperial’s Centre for Plastic Elec- polyfused system can’t lie fl at, as the whether you could use these chiral this? Can we fabricate OLEDs that can cations, some fairly immediate, oth- tronics visit imperial.ac.uk/plastice- rings start to bump into one another. helicenes to generate a certain hand- match up to state of the art devices ers more long-term. One application lectronics. Th at introduces a kink or a spiral into edness of CP light. the molecule. Th eir electrons are still To cut a long story short we found fully conjugated, but the molecule is we needed a mix of organic materials, no longer fl at. blended with small amounts of either PRYING APART AN OLED Why are they interesting? For devic- left- or right-handed helicenes with es, I see there to be two key interesting conventional, non-chiral material. features. Th ese OLEDs were able to produce Because they’re not fl at, how they circularly polarised light using diff er- pack in the solid state is somewhat ent handed helicenes. It wasn’t 100% diff erent to common OLED materials, CP light, but rather enriched light. which are fl at. How molecules pack together in the solid state is important, LP: How does the chirality of the with ramifi cations on light emission. helicene molecule control the chi- But also, because helicenes are heli- rality of the light? cal, they’re also chiral, and can there- MF: We’re not sure why mechanisti- fore come in left- and right-handed cally. Light emission is generated from

1) Cathode; 2) Organic emissive layer; 3) Radiation emission; 4) Organic conductive layer; 5) Anode. A voltage is applied imperial.ac.uk/fuchtergroup/research/tos across the OLED, creating an electric current (an electron flow) that flows from the cathode to the anode. Electrons are given to the emissive layer and removed from the conductive layer. Stripping electrons from the conductive layer creates holes that Various graphical representations of helicene architecture. The aromatic need filling with more electrons. These holes jump up to the emissive layer to recombine with electons. Upon recombination rings begin to kink when they can no longer lie flat. energy is released as a photon of light. The colour of the emitted light depends upon the material composing the emissive layer. FRIDAY 10 MAY 13

Science Editors: Philip Kent, Laurence Pope, Philippa Skett SCIENCE [email protected] A rising cancerous tide Gavin Metcalf details the concerning rise of European lung cancer cases guardian.co.uk ung cancer, particularly national governments is tobacco con- non-small cell lung can- Lung cancer will trol, particularly among middle-aged cer (NSCLC), is one of the overtake breast men and women — the European Lmost common forms of generations most heavily exposed to cancer globally, with a very smoking. poor survival rate: less than six per cancer as the lead- “If more people could be helped cent of people diagnosed reach fi ve and encouraged to give up smoking, years post-diagnosis. ing cause of female or not to take it up in the fi rst place, When one thinks of lung cancer hundreds of thousands of deaths from a variety of thoughts come to mind, cancer death cancer could be avoided each year in the foremost thought being smok- Europe.” ing, and this is certainly a large risk Th e lung cancer death rate is sug- factor. So much so that it is reported ing in the 1960’s and 1970’s, say re- gested to continue on its upward that lung cancer will overtake breast “searchers from the University of Mi- trend for the next few years — but cancer as the largest cause of female lan. with fewer young European women cancer death in Europe by 2015. Th is Th e Europe-wide study by Professor now starting to smoke, it should pla- has already been seen in Britain and C.L. Vecchia reports that despite an A chest X-ray from a patient with lung cancer in both lungs. No graphic teau sometime after 2020. Th ere is Poland, with lung cancer leapfrogging overall decline in cancer deaths, mor- images today — tar-clogged blackened masses put people off their lunch. hope yet. breast cancer as the main cause of fe- tality rates from lung cancer among For more information on how male cancer death. women continues to rise across the to stop and save your lungs from a Th e surge is attributed towards the continent, up seven percent to around Professor F. Levi, from the Institute in Switzerland, has told Cancer Re- cancerous, tar-clogged demise visit ” smokefree.nhs.uk. number of women who started smok- 82,000 since 2009. of Social and Preventive Medicine search UK: “Th e Key message for EU

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17.00 O 17 May OHyde Park 14 FRIDAY 10 MAY

Arts Editors: Eva Rosenthal, ARTS Meredith Thomas [email protected] Breaking the backdrop

Google maps filming becomes intrusive

Why work? Instead, doodle all lecture long and then send us your drawings to [email protected]. This doodle was drawn in what Felix understands Fred Fyles Writer crew have invaded the set, and what any mistakes the actors make might was a ‘very stimulating’ Electromagnetics lecture. they fi lm is shown, live, above the lead to the cameras or sound being stage. Th e eff ect is startling; the audi- out of time. Th e world of theatre revolves around ence is both removed from the action, Mitchell has said that past pro- the invisible. Behind the actors, off and shown it in excruciating detail. ductions have had to be halted com- to the side, there will be a dedicated We get to see the pain in Kristin’s face pletely because of slip-ups. Control is team of people bringing the stage to up close – every movement or twitch therefore of the utmost importance. life; lighting, staging, and sound de- taking on a new importance While this lends the actors a quality sign all form the invisible heart of Th is is not the only way in which the that some would describe as robotic, the production, playing with the au- audience gets to see what they would it perfectly refl ects the restrictive so- dience’s emotions in subtle ways and normally not be able to. Mitchell has cial values of the time and makes the creating the magic that keeps people said that with this production she instances where the characters show returning to the stalls. Th is team are is attempting ‘theatrical cubism’ – pure emotion even more shocking. usually hidden, their work not fully showing all the diff erent levels of the Jule Böwe is on top form as Kristin, Print Club group show @ The Print Club - Masters of the art of screen printing, the Print appreciated – nor understood – by production simultaneously – and she displaying a virtuosic ability to layer Club’s groups show is a great chance to see some of the most exciting and innovative pro- the theatre-going crowd. But what lives up to her word. As well as the emotion upon emotion, with slight - ponents of this venerable art. The show feature 30 works from the group’s best members happens when this world is brought camera-crew there are two sound- almost invisible – movements betray- and technicians. Opens 9 May into the open and placed under the proof recording studios off to the side, ing what she is really feeling. Wolf- brilliantly bright stage lights? It is a where actors enter to record internal ram’s Fraülein is also sublime, fl oating Eddie Izzard @ Wembley Arena - One stop on his global tour, Izzard focuses on universal question that director Katie Mitch- monologues, and a live cellist on stage around the stage like a hollow shell, themes, such as material focusing on human sacrifice, Greek gods, languages and more. ell has attempted to answer with her providing the soundtrack. Th e real creating a wonderful juxtaposition You might be forgiven for mistaking him for a god himself after his superhuman exploits stunning production of Fraülein Julie, stars of the show, however, are the against Kristin’s stoic character. in both comedy and marathon running. 11 May which seamlessly merges technology foley artists; clad in black, they take As with any playwright whose and stagecraft to form a new kind of up the front of the stage, painstakingly works have entered into the literary Deutsche Börse Photography Prize @ Photographers’ Gallery - The prestigious £30 000 theatrical experience. creating all of the sound eff ects in the canon, directors who stray too far prize as drawn noninations for four nominees this year have a decidedly gritty portfolio A radical interpretation of Strind- play. From the click of heels walking from the beaten path may be criti- focusing on war and inequality, raising questions about our jaded visual palate and ca- berg’s 1888 original play, Maja Zade’s across fl oorboards, to the bubbling of cised for ‘betraying the work’s integ- pacity for empathy. Until June 30 translation has cut out large portions pans and rustling of cloth that form rity’. I am sure that there will be a of the script, shifting the focus from the soundscape of Kristin’s domestic number of critics who feel that Mitch- TimeWave @ Innovation Warehouse - The first year of this international festival of thea- the eponymous Fraülein to Kristin drudgery, the foley artists create all ell’s take on this naturalistic classic is tre and technology promises to explore the themes of ‘Transformation’ in our young cen- (Jule Böwe), the cook who can only of the ambient sounds we can hear too robotic, too mechanical, to truly tury. Very much an event for the modern age with a focus and digital start-ups featuring observe as her fi ancé Jean (Tilman in the play. Th e result is breathtak- refl ect what Strindberg was trying to a brace of award winning artists. June 19 - 23 Strauß) enters into a romantic tryst ing, but also makes it diffi cult to know achieve. Th e script alone is radically with Fraülein Julie (Luise Wolfram). where to focus; should we be looking diff erent enough to give professors of Th is alone is already a radical depar- at the foley artists, or the actors, or Scandinavian literature an aneurism. ture from the traditional Strindberg, the screen? After leaving the theatre Unfortunately the show has now but Mitchell’s meticulous production it is diffi cult to tell if I’ve missed any- fi nished its run. However, it is my design and staging challenge the con- thing; it is certainly a production that opinion that Mitchell did not simply ventions of tradition even further. needs to be seen twice. succeed with this production, she Th e action takes place on a mid- With all of the technological wiz- reaches dizzying heights and shows summer’s night at a Swedish country ardry going on, it wouldn’t be a sur- what is possible on the stage. Fraül- estate, and a large proportion of the prise if the performances are sub-par. ein Julie is balanced on a knife edge stage is taken up with the kitchen in Th ey are not. Th e actors, drafted over of timing and control but, by reveal- which Kristin works; closed off to the from the Berlin Schaubühne, are ef- ing the invisible art of theatrecraft to audience, the only way we can see fortlessly in control of their perfor- the audience, Mitchell has created a inside is through the windows. How- mances. Th e nature of this produc- production that is both magical and ever, an enormously talented camera- tion requires a high level of precision; technical. A true modern classic. FRIDAY 10 MAY 15

Arts Editors: Eva Rosenthal, Meredith Thomas ARTS [email protected] Form before f(x) Lily Le reviews the Designs of the Year

fter marching through Nevertheless, many were intrigu- entries. the tourists packing ing and invited discussion, debate, Th e most interesting feature in Tower Bridge, I was and sometimes admiration. A num- this category was the rebranding of Aworried that the De- ber of the architectural designs fell Australian cigarette packets. Identi- sign Museum might be into this category. Th ey all displayed cal, plain and plastered in ugly health hidden amongst the cafés and small that contemporary and modern vibe warnings, the brands are given a shops of the narrow brick walkways emanating from the Design Museum small space to print their name on lining the riverside. Of course, it itself. an olive coloured background (ap- wasn’t. Bright, white, shining at the A particular highlight was the parently the least pleasant colour to end of, rather than part of, a shad- Book Mountain in Spijkenisse, Neth- see on a design). It is supposed to owy almost-alley, it is a building that erlands which is exactly that – a demote brand loyalty (and obviously exudes contemporary, minimal, and mountain of books which form a li- put everyone off cigarettes) but most understated. brary. Wooden frames reference the interesting is its demonstration of Th e Designs of the Year show is barns of the local agricultural her- design in controlling consumer be- displayed in a single room which itage and its homage to oversized, haviour. greets you with a yellow interior and majestic landscapes serves as a nifty Th is time the tools are in the hands block writing. Th ink... the shininess visual advert for reading. of the government for the sake of of Westfi elds in a museum. Perhaps Unfortunately, it is rather far for a public health, treading on the toes of the exhibition’s venue, a centre de- quick visit and so the Clapham One design freedom. What cultural im- voted to design, makes one more Library is probably a more realistic plications will this have? aware of its own layout. Although it destination. It was diffi cult to com- You may have noticed that I haven’t is no diff erent from galleries in the pletely appreciate its design due to mentioned any of the winners. Th e Tate or Barbican you are instantly only a couple of photos and a small- overall victor was chosen from the more aware of where you tread even scale model on display. But the mo- digital category. before the exhibition begins. saic-like pattern of the placing of the I am not going to tell you but I will Th e competition, run by the mu- windows had me at fi rst glance. tell you what it was not. It was not seum itself, is separated into sev- My favourite category was the the Windows Phone 8 app which en categories. It is categorised by product designs. It was full of the allows mobile devices to commu- themes which link certain designs most innovative and original ideas. nicate by birdsong. Neither was it a rather than by functional category. For example, faceture vases, which lightfi eld camera that allows users to Th ese include the way in which de- due to their handmade production manipulate the focus of the fore and sign communicates meaning, the process, were all totally unique. Col- background of photos after they have manipulation of science and technol- oured resin is poured into a plastic been taken. ogy, the invitation to question and mould which slightly reshapes it as it I would suggest a visit to the De- interact, and also colour, function, cools, and when the mould is peeled sign Museum to fi nd them out for and memory. away the triangular patterns stick out yourself. While debating whether the On show were nominees and win- at diff erent angles which refl ect light winners are worthy, the signifi cance ners. All are real-life designs and in- or form shadow emulating the eff ect of design comes to life. In an age clude the familiar such as the revamp of pixels on an image. Its style, al- where we have the luxury of not hav- of Exhibition Road, the Shard, and though dated, defi nes our digital era ing to compromise between aesthet- the Olympic Cauldron. – in a vase, who would have thought? ics, function and trends, we forget Some designs were interesting, but Not knowing much about cars and about the designs of products, which hardly mind-blowing. Stop, stare, an bicycles, it was diffi cult to decide we live around and base our worlds utterance of “oh” and onto the next. what to think about several of the on. It is a brilliant idea to remind us Others seemed downright bad. For transport entries. Chainless bicycle of the importance of design by cel- some reason the furniture section and cute small car? Sounds good to ebrating some of the best examples consisted of many uncomfortable me, I guess. What was an obviously in an immersive public forum. looking, stiff chairs scattered around excellent idea though was the Air Ac- the place made from anything from cess wheelchair which can slot into The Design of the Year awards run wood to plastic, metal rings to iron an aeroplane seat frame which pre- at the Design Museum until June 07. spikes, and bits of driftwood. vents disabled passengers from hav- Ticket prices around £12. ing to be lifted onto stationary seats. Th e fashion and graphics entries were slightly disappointing. Th e for- mer included collections from well known names such as Giles Deacon, Comme des Garcons, Louis Vuitton, Prada, and Proenza Schouler but I failed to see the reason for their nominations above anything else. Al- exa Chung for Madewell will do for me thanks. For a similar reason, none of the graphical exhibits struck me as par- ticularly innovative. Everyone is aware of that chunky minimalist font on a plain fuss-free background, used just about everywhere is slight- ly arty and modern. It was certainly used just about everywhere in these Come hang out with wakeboarding…

Summer is coming! Join us on one of our wakeboarding sessions – with your boardshorts on, this time! We run frequent and affordable sessions until the end of the term. Contact [email protected] for more info, beginners welcome!

WAKEimperial 18 FRIDAY 10 MAY

Books Editor: Maciej Matuszewski BOOKS [email protected] Summer Short Reads Maciej Matuszewski looks at fi ve brilliant science fi ction and fantasy anthologies and short story collections – perfect for fi tting around your revision timetable

Solaris Rising Th e Unreal and the Real Benchmarks Continued Stories Th e Weird Ian Whates (ed.) Ursula Le Guin Algis Budrys Ray Bradbury Ann & Jeff VanderMeer (ed.) Rebelion Publishing Small Beer Press Harper Voyager Harper Voyager Corvus £7.99 £15.99 (each volume) £16.99 £16.99 (each volume) £25

Th e 2011 anthology Solaris Rising was Th ere are few who call themselves sci- While best known for highly acclaimed Th ere are few speculative fi ction writ- Th e New Weird subgenre of specula- one of the fi nest collections of SF in ence fi ction fans, or indeed literature novels such as Michaelmas and Rogue ers who are as well known and as tive fi ction has grown signifi cantly recent years and a welcome return fans in general, who have not read at Moon, Algis Budrys was also a prolifi c highly acclaimed as Ray Bradbury. A in recent years. Characterised by its to the anthology game by the Solaris least some of Ursula Le Guin’s work. critic. Th e fi rst volume of his collect- recipient of the US National Medal desire to abandon the traditional ste- imprint of Rebellion Publishing. Fans Over a career spanning more than 50 ed reviews, entitled Benchmarks and of Arts he also received both the Fan- reotypes of fantasy and science fi ction of the book will therefore be pleased years she has written over twenty nov- containing his early work for Galaxy tasy and SF Grand Master awards. and often incorporating elements of to hear that the recently published So- els and many dozen short stories. Few Magazine, was published in 1985. His work – well known for both its literary fi ction and horror, this sub- laris Rising 2 is a worthy successor to authors have done so much to blur the Now, thanks to the eff orts of Dave imagination and literary quality – has genre is diffi cult to defi ne precisely. the original. Edited by genre veteran lines between genre and traditional Langford the second volume of the inspired countless modern writers. Containing 110 stories, this book pro- Ian Whates, Solaris Rising 2 brings us literary fi ction and this two volume collection, containing Budrys’ work Th is fascinating collection brings to- vides a detailed and fascinating cross orignial stories from over a dozen au- collection contains examples of both for Th e Magazine of Fantasy and Sci- gether all of his short work – including section of genres. Including work by a thors – each just as imaginative, fresh, sides of Le Guin’s work. Th e fi rst vol- ence Fiction, has fi nally been released. the stories from the famous Martian wide range of highly acclaimed writers and exciting as those in the fi rst book. ume, Where On Earth, includes some Witty and insightful the reviews touch Chronicles – in two large volumes. such as William Gibson, George R.R. While the orignial focused mainly on of her more realistic work – includ- not only the individual books being Not only are the stories fascinating Martin, Stephen King, Haruki Mu- A-list authors the new book gives less ing many of her Orsinian stories, set reviewed but also detail Budrys’ opin- in themselves being collected in one rakami, Mervyn Pearke, Neil Gaiman well known writers, such as Mercurio in the eponymous fi ctional European ions about the state of the genre. Not place allows the reader to explore and China Miéville this is a must buy, Rivera and Vandana Singh, a chance to country – while the second, Outer only an interesting read this book is how Bradbury’s writing style and his even for those who might not have show off their talents – I’m happy to Space, Inner Lands, focuses on her also a time capsule from a vibrant and themes developed over time. Perfect previously thought themselves big say that they don’t dissapoint. more fantastical writing. important era for SF. for both newcomers and old time fans. fans of the New Weird. Love Books? Want to see your name in print? Send your reviews, features and author profi les to [email protected] everynation.co.uk

SUNDAYS ACTIVITY SPACE 1

Free café – 5:30 20 FRIDAY 10 MAY

Music Editors: Mark England, MUSIC Ross Gray, Simon Hunter [email protected] Dark-Folkers Wyldeck in Conversation Julia Spindel chats to the band in the fi rst of an interview double team

hen off -beat songs. Th ey clearly enjoy the experi- Zeppelin tribute type band and had rhythms in Wyl- ence and so does the audience. Wyl- T-shirts and everything. Later on deck’s music deck’s songs are rich in memorable Cece and Dave were in a punk pop W progress into riff s and fl owing melodies, success- band that played alongside 2:54 (for- double time for fully reminiscent of lost folk songs. merly the Vulgarians) and headlined ever-exciting choruses, the audience I spoke to Wyldeck before their set before Th e xx. After a couple of years is united in a desire to dance. Th e dif- at the Underbelly in Hoxton a few of this we had a couple of years off ference between audience members weeks ago. Th ey’d eaten too much at during which Cece wrote and debated will be, instead, that some will favour dinner and were trying not to curl up a solo career. But after some late night these fl ashes of energy whilst others and nap. Cece, dressed all in white, drunken texts, the Wyldeck group will prefer the more serene moments, had employed three napkins to avoid was agreed on. It clicked in the fi rst perfectly showcasing Cece Wyldeck’s food stains and all had had to tie up rehearsal. pure treble voice. Th e music mixes their hair. Here’s what they had to say: these lullaby moments with tinges JS: What’s your favourite and least of dark rock perfectly. Th e powerful Julia Spindel: So how did Wyl- favourite aspect of being musician? guitar strokes in the upbeat numbers deck come about? W: Our favourite aspect is defi nitely resonate and are defi nitely addictive. Wyldeck: We’re all from south-west playing your instrument and doing Despite having only formed in March London and we’ve known each other gigs. It’s always great when people tell Wyldeck in the wylderness 2012, the band play as if they had been for ages. Th e boys met when they were you how much they’ve enjoyed them- together for years, understanding ex- 4 or something, then Cece met them selves after we’ve put the eff ort in. actly how to blend perfectly with each aged 10 (when girls were allowed to Sometimes the free drinks are good other throughout the variation in join girls scouts). Th e boys had a Led but sometimes not. We’re not rock and roll enough to get trashed before our set! Our least favourite aspect is years ago. completely diff erently! the social media side of stuff – we just want to make music without the has- JS: What would be your advice for JS: What do you think of the Lon- AMS album of the week sle! musicians just starting out? don gigging scene in general? W: Do it for fun, especially at the W: People that do come along are im- And So I Watch You From Afar : All Hail Bright Futures start. Don’t take yourself too seri- pressed and the fans we do get are re- ously. Sometimes dreamers are the ally dedicated and come to gigs again ones that have enough determination and again. We’ve learnt that we have Suspiciously named and sensibly abbrevi- to get somewhere but it’s best to be to gig less often and write new mate- ated, ASIWYFA are a 4 piece who play in- personable too and not have too mas- rial to make the repeated trips worth- strumental rock. Their sound is probably sive an ego. while for those people. Every couple of best summarised by the title of their best months we have a new song. Tonight known track, “Set Guitars To Kill” - hyper- JS: What were your fi rst music pur- we’re playing 9 songs, our longest set active arena rock made to be heard from so chases? yet, with two new songs. close to the band that you can feel splinters W: Aqua, Shanks and Bigfoot, Fat- flying from the drumsticks. Their self-titled boy Slim. (Cece) Th en during our debut released in 2009 benefited from the punk pop phase I liked the Yeah Yeah JS: And, fi nally, what are your next band’s extensive catalogue of well-practiced Yeahs and stuff . Now I’m more into plans? demos, recorded with spacious production Fleetwood Mac. My fi rst concert was W: We’re playing some festivals this focusing on bringing out the wide variety of moods the group could create. the Backstreet Boys. summer – Wilderness festival, Damn Their second album, Gangs, adopted a more familiar mix, but fell just shy of Dead Circus (set up by Phillious Wil- being truly memorable when compared to their first album. JS: And what are you listening to liams) and Hamswell. But we’ll do an All Hail Bright Futures dropped in March of this year, landing squarely in fa- now? EP fi rst as that’s a halfway step to an miliar territory. Despite a switch of guitarist and a long break from touring, the W: Daughter, Prince, HAIM, Cat album in terms of how many killer album is full of the moshy aggression and tight musicianship we have come to Power, Polica, Kendrick Lamar, songs you give away at once. expect, now married to a jubilant mood that covers the whole album in rain- Kanye West. bows and sunshine. New guitarist Niall Kennedy gives the cheerful pop riffs of his last band, Panama Kings, a new light, without dumbing down the format of a good instrumental track. JS: Who would you most like to Considering the album’s production, what really seals the deal is the range of JS: How do you guys write a new meet? new guitar sounds, likely inspired by genre contemporaries Battles and Adeb- song? W: (Cece) I’ve met idols before and isi Shank. Tracks like “AMBULANCE” use a warm, fuzzy, honky-tonk sound W: Usually one of us puts some- it’s been disappointing. Maybe it’s akin to the tone of an ice-cream truck piano. This is especially effective when thing down then the others fi ne-tune best to keep them just as idols. (Boys) juxtaposed with ASIWYFA’s heavy moments. Gang vocals, chants and weep- it. Sometimes it’s Cece, sometimes But we would like to party with peo- ing synthesisers make a welcome return without removing the focus from the Dom and sometimes Jacob. Jacob’s ple that know a good time. Kanye interplay between instruments. just written a song called “Beyoncé’s West or Prince maybe. But you would Perhaps what the band loses with this album that was so strong on their pre- baby”. You can try and shout for it have to prepare yourself. vious releases was the ability to create a more varied song. Tracks clock in a as an encore later if you like! We all little more than 4 minutes, and no longer possess a slow build of ideas or melo- know when a song isn’t working. Th e dies – rather, they dart around, with the attention span of a small child, burn- best ones are written really quickly JS: Who’s your favourite on the ing through riffs and noodly math rock passages as if they can’t wait to get it and those are the ones we play live, London gigging scene at the mo- finished. The album’s closer “Young Bright Minds” is a partial response to this, there’s no arguing. Th ere are lots we ment? featuring a 7 minute exploration of a riff that doesn’t really compare to their never play. Sometimes songs that we W: Phillious Williams. Th ere are a previous epic tracks, like “Don’t Waste Time…” from their self-titled. Rather, the started to write ages ago resurface lot of nights going on at the moment band focuses on one mood throughout the album – relentless delight – and cap- and are fi nally fi nished just because involving very similar indie bands but tures it perfectly. That’s very special indeed. Robin Thomas it’s a better time for them. Th e other they’re doing something a bit diff er- day we fi nished one Cece wrote 7 ent. Mark has a great voice but speaks FRIDAY 10 MAY 21

Music Editors: Mark England, Ross Gray, Simon Hunter MUSIC [email protected] Cassette Culture: Opal Tapes Interview Ross Gray discusses the electronic cassette label with Stephen Bishop

ithin the past said for them. Quietly characterful in more dancefl oor based productions themes through year experimen- their own way. I’ve been around tapes (if they could be called that) have a the Opal cata- tal electronic in music for as long as I can remember tendency to bring in noisy elements. logue, could you W music has ex- really, whether as media or as source It seems that there’s been more of a tell us a little ploded into the material for musicians. Opal Tapes push in general towards these kind about the Mirror D.I.Y. cassette culture within the UK, is inspired by all of this of course but of noise / techno crossovers recent- & Gate series? previously dominated by (but by no the use of tape is not some bijou state- ly (e.g. Container) – do you think Seems like the means limited to) noise releases. Ste- ment. It’s a worthy format and one the use of noise is becoming more place where the phen Bishop, head honcho of promi- which has been used continually since prevalent in electronic music? variety is dem- nent label Opal Tapes, spoke to me its development all around the world. SB: Noise and music is a strange thing. onstrated most about its formation, the themes that People seem to forget that when they Noise is essentially a lack of informa- markedly. run through its work and his opinions approach this topic sometimes. At its tion or an obscuring of it. Music is in- SB: Mirror & Gate on noise in electronic music. origin Opal is inspired by sound alone. formation. Whether the two are sym- is a series of re- biotic with “noise-techno” etc I don’t leases which is put Ross Gray: How did Opal Tapes RG: In the releases you’ve put out know. To me it’s not noise, it’s texture. together by myself come about? Th ere seems to have so far, Opal Tapes has demonstrat- It’s musical information which is as and Matthew Kent been quite a resurgence in cassette- ed remarkable eclecticism, from valid as a chord. If it were possible of Blowing Up Th e based labels recently; did this in- danceable techno to almost all out to observe the fl ux of textural choice Workshop. We spire you? noise, and yet as with the labels you in electronic music then we may see both share similar Stephen Bishop: I started Opal Tapes mentioned, there’s something that a rhythm forming where it fi nds va- ears (though Matt’s last July after considering starting a la- seems to hold it all together. Do you lidity and then falls back out. Listen work a little better bel for a while. It came to be at a time think that’s the case? to Xenakis early work and the use than mine these when I really needed something to fo- SB: It’s interesting to hear people say of “noise” or more realistically non- days) and after cus on and I just wanted to get busy that and I’d like to know what you traditional sound deployment is ever months of emails and release some music and have a think that it is? I’m in the middle of present. Same with much of the early it seemed a good chat with some folks. I simply contact- the sounds so see it diff erently. I think electronic works of Europe and Amer- extension for us one unifying theme ica. As such noise is not something to bring together to the catalogue is new but something which becomes artists we thought huddled under an altered approach. re-appropriated as music continues the same brolly. Th e idea is as simple RG: Any fi nal comments? Most of the releases its cycle. as bringing two artists or groups to- can be heard with With an artist like Container, I don’t gether whose work shares similarities, SB: Th ank you everyone, artists, cus- reference to house perceive his use of “noise” as state- be they timbral or compositional, and tomers, friends and family for helping or techno styles but ment or anything so bold. To me it’s then sit them on a split together. Th e me with the label. Without you all it tend to bring about just about urgency and latent energy. tape split was common property with- is nothing but a chubby dude on Face- a fi nal piece which Th e potential of the machine poking in noise/industrial/post-punk scenes book squinting at 3 a.m. is often unsuitable through into the arrangement. and I see no reason why it can’t func- for the context that tion in the same way for more formed http://opaltapes.bandcamp.com/ is ascribed to it. For RG: On the subject of running musics. http://blowinguptheworkshop.com/ example the Huerco S. bits which have all the composite parts of a classic Chicago house track but are The internet presents: MS MR recomposed into a diff erent environ- Writer ment and time/head Lily Le style rather being given an equal space. Th e groove weight with the other instruments. is still present but Th is is no bad thing. In a time satu- the literal ecstasy is During a week’s worth of listening to rated with Adele / Winehouse-esque nascent, transpar- the radio an average of 0-3 new songs vocals, it is kind of nice to go back to ent. I feel his music make me drop everything, frown a lit- a good American pop accent but with is incredibly sad. I tle in an eff ort to identify the song / more grit than Taylor Swift-type do lean toward lis- artist, then fi ddle a little with the time vocals. Crudely, MS MR have been tening to electronics bar on the listen-again player to fi gure compared to Lana and Florence but ed some artists whose work I enjoyed which have a rougher edge to them, out what exactly the wonderful noise personally I’d add a bit of Paramore and asked if they were interested in like to hear pieces with a loose and is. and Wild Beasts in the mix. Other highlights include the way doing a tape release. Th ings have just played quality. Perhaps these tenden- Last week this came in the form of “Hurricane” is defi nitely the high- which the word ‘buuurn’ is sung on rolled on since then, same principle, cies are recognisable? I don’t really MS MR, a New York Duo whose de- light of Secondhand Rapture, being “Dark Woo Wop”, and “Salty Sweet” and thankfully people have been really know man [laughs]. but album Secondhand Rapture is set the right mix of mystery, an apathetic which has a hidden darkness behind receptive to it. So this idea of a reusing of genre for release on the 14th May. As their kind of sadness, and a musical depth its poppy façade. templates and a density and claustro- rereleased single “Hurricane” burst that a lot of pop songs compromise on It will be interesting to see the au- I buy a lot of music on tape and love phobia brought to it by adopting lo-fi onto the airwaves, the creepy intro of in order to build a good level of catchi- dience which MS MR will draw in. labels like Phaserprone, Ekhein, Belat- techniques. Th at’s a good line that can what resembles a slowed down ver- ness. Th is depth is a vibe which runs Slightly too poppy for the ‘indie-guitar’ en, always dug how even with dispar- be drawn through Opal Tapes. sion of a knife being sharpened was through the whole album and is prob- fans, maybe not poppy enough to be- ity in the styles of music they’d cover attention grabbing enough within a ably thanks to the lovely way which come as mainstream as Lana; they’re there was always a strong aesthetic RG: I think for me it is a lot of things few seconds. Plapinger fl oats over Hershenow’s not the most original band around at core to all the releases, something you mentioned; there seems to be Th e vocals of Lizzy Plapinger production, both of which quieten and the moment but Secondhand Rapture which could be felt. Older noise labels this grittiness to all the record- smoothly drip off the dark and slow refl ect, or suddenly burst into noise brings a temporary refreshing break like Banned Productions, G.R.O.S.S. ings, and a running theme of ex- musical bed. True to pop music, they (probably the reason for the Florence to the table that many artists currently and Broken Flag could have the same perimentalism. I also feel like the are defi nitely the forefront of MS MR’s comparisons) at the right times. do not. 22 FRIDAY 10 MAY

Film Editors: Katy Bettany, FILM John Park, Lucy Wiles fi [email protected] Short Waves: Polish Short Film Festival

Film Writer Lily Le the subtitles, though translating lit- husband behind, it becomes clear hunts down long lost father and dis- was something which definitely eral meaning, were not able to de- as to where the travellers are going. covers dead mother was not so per- belonged in each piece of the fes- pict the tone of the piece. It was a The simplicity yet complexity of fect after all) and A Memory of Last tival. I couldn’t help but imagine Last month saw the fifth Polish great shame, as the film may have leaving loved ones behind appears. Summer (girl bumps into lost love what would happen had the films Short Film Festival come to London, had more of an impact had the na- Despite dealing with a cliché and they have sex in parents’ car). extended to a couple more hours. having made its journey around tive language been understood. subject, The Guardians retained Though the latter two played on the globe. We went on down to As the film unravelled, it was the air of mystery, emotion it de- themes not unknown in contem- Dalston (where else) to the cute lit- clear that they were not the ram- serves, yet had a explicit and tangi- porary cinema, they were nonethe- Readers can fi nd The Governance of tle Rio Cinema (think Notting Hill blings of a child nor someone trying ble directness about it. It had more less beautifully filmed with quirky Love at: http://vimeo.com/60640887 Coronet, velveted squeaky chairs to be edgy. They were drawings and of a depth than All Souls’ Day (girl tones unique to each of them. This type of place) to find out what ex- stories of a patient with a mental dis- actly Polish short films consist of. order. His weird perspectives on life As we entered, we were given struck up unpredicted connections a score card to pick the best film. with the audience. It was a clever way The winner would receive 10,000 of giving us access to a world which zloty – about £2000. Handing is sometimes sadly shunned away. out tiny amounts of power with Only three films were live ac- the ability to aid some stranger’s tion. Philosophical narrated ani- film-making abilities may have mations, light-hearted and bright- also been a nifty way of mak- ly coloured stop-frames to pop ing us really think about what music, an eerie ‘Grizzly Tales for we thought of each film and why. Gruesome Kids’-esque black and Out of the nine shown, my par- blood red cartoon, and a rather ticular favourite was The Govern- dull compilation of scientific ar- ance of Love. It opened up with a pic- chive material formed the rest. ture of a cat, which seemed to have Of the live action pieces, a par- been sketched in wax crayons by a ticular favourite was The Guard- child and a blurry-voiced narrator ians. A young officer must allow declaring that he was a kitten. As the only travellers with VISAs to pass a story moved on, he seemed to jump barrier and continue their journey between his imagination and reality, into a misty forest. As he stamps between different places and beings. the papers of the travellers, he peers As audience members started intently at their faces with a sad- laughing at what seemed to be not ness he knows he should not show. very funny scenes, it was clear that As a mother leaves her child and FRIDAY 10 MAY 23

Film Editors: Katy Bettany, John Park, Lucy Wiles FILM fi [email protected] Yippee-ki-yay, North Korea!

though the trained men who are sup- Secret Services, had ever seen, which taken hostage put on an admiring Olympus Has Fallen posed to be guarding those highest in means he can take on a number of level of bravery and patriotism, most the government forgot to come into bad guys, even after 18 months of memorable being Leo’s Secretary of Director: Antoine Fuqua work prepared that day. Whatever being out of the fi eld, have all sorts Defense Ruth McMillan, who doesn’t Screenwriters: Creighton the reason, everyone falls like leaves, of injuries infl icted on him, and yet utter a single useful word for the ter- Rothenberger, Katrin Benedikt in a pretty hilarious sequence that walk away fi ne from all the bloody rorists even after she’s punched and Starring: Gerard Butler, Aaron shows the audience, in slow-motion mess. Th at’s what “best” means – i.e. kicked in ways no elderly woman Eckhart, Morgan Freeman, Melissa and backed by corny music, the gun- superhuman. should ever be treated. Leo, Angela Bassett, Rick Yune ning down of agent after agent who Speaker of the House Allan Trum- Yune has played a vicious North are helpless against the perfectly pre- bull (Freeman) is now the Acting Korean before in yet another high- pared villains. Th ere’s even a dog that President and, in turn, forms himself profi le fi lm, Die Another Day, and he puts up a fi ght. Subtlety isn’t exactly a little emergency committee, which smoothly pulls off yet another one the fi lm’s strong suit, nor should it be. is essentially full of self-important, of those as he makes crazy demands Trapped in an impenetrable under- arrogant idiots who can’t do a single and stares glaringly into the camera. John Park Film Editor ground bunker with the terrorists is useful thing in their stuff y meeting Under the assured hands of Fuqua, the President (Eckhart), Secretary of room. In dire times such as this one, the man who gave us Training Day, Defense (Leo), amongst others who Banning has no trouble speaking Tears of the Sun, among others, he With tensions in North Korea con- are played by less well-known faces, freely, calling them out on their silly isn’t one to shy away from brutal- stantly on the rise, Gerard Butler’s which means they matter much less. errors, and generating some laughs ity. Th ere is a lot of fun to be had as new action-packed outing tells a Not even the position of Vice Presi- for the audience for his sheer audac- the unrestrained pitbull of Banning story that doesn’t seem far too out of dent is worthy of having a relatively ity. ploughs his way through, saving the reach. famous name play him. (Poor Joe Playing a man defi ned by his brute day, although his mission is slightly Even in this fi ctional world where Biden – this goes to show the public’s force and very little humanity, Butler derailed by having to focus on saving Butler is an ex-Secret Service agent general perception of that particular absolutely nails the role Bruce Willis the President’s young son, the fi lm’s now demoted to work in the Treasury position.) Th ey’re pushed around and played more than a couple of decades weak point in selling the action. Department, North Korea is causing kicked about, as they hold important ago. He has no trouble looking con- It’s all incredibly silly, and this problems for the free world with their secrets that prove vital to the North vincing as he beats someone to a pulp, makes one hope that the actual endless nuclear missile tests. Natu- Koreans’ endgame. But enough about he is disturbingly calm as he tortures White House does have better secu- rally, a meeting between the United them, where on earth is Butler fl exing someone for information, and he has rity than what is demonstrated here. States and its ally South Korea takes his hero muscles? no trouble fi ring off sly one-liners at Otherwise, if North Korea gets their place in the White House, only for And so it’s the perfect time for re- the bad guys. Th is role seems to have hands on a copy of this fi lm, we could this highly-secured engagement to tired agent Mike Banning (Butler) to been tailored for Butler, and he seems all be done for. And the shamelessly be hijacked by a guerrilla attack led jump back into action, and take on to be comfortably in his place, doing patriotic message (any lingering shot by the North Koreans. these guys all by himself. It seems what he does best. of the American fl ag is an example) Well-armed bad guys dressed as like an unfair fi ght, but not to worry; Other roles are very limited, as the may even have you unknowingly side tourists take over the White House Banning was one of the best agents fi lm has barely enough time to de- with the invaders. But all in all, it’s a in a laughable instant, and it’s as Lynne Jacobs (Bassett), the head of velop its central character. All those dumb, fun, easy watch. 24 FRIDAY 10 MAY

Travel Editor: TRAVEL Veronika McQuade [email protected] Dream a little Greek dream Natalia Petrou introduces you to the wonders of Greece All photos: Natalia Petrou ith summer va- cations just a stone’s throw Waway, it seemed ideal for me to think about possible summer desti- nations. Th e fi rst thing that crosses all our minds when thinking about summer is, of course, sun, and con- sequently we think about Mediter- ranean countries. Th is article will be dedicated to my personal home coun- try, namely Greece. Greece is quite a diverse country, with beautiful beaches, small vil- lages but also mountains and big cit- ies, hence it has everything a tourist would wish for. Below some of the beauties will be presented. Of course, these are just a small portion of the sights in this country. Focus will not be on the most touristic places, as cities of the island, which off ers many lake, where one can admire the early these are well known and reported, options for sightseeing, Greek cuisine eff orts of mankind to establish resi- but on the more hidden gems of this tasting and nightlife. dential areas. country. For the more relaxed visitors, the Kastoria city off ers spectacular cuisine as well Crete, Falasarna beach If the sea is not for you and you want and it is famous for the diff erent kinds Th e biggest island in Greece, located a place near the mountains, where it of pie and the traditional desserts. in the southern part of the country is of course chillier, even during the combines the beauty of the sea and summer, then Kastoria is the place for Thessaloniki the mountains. It is the perfect desti- you. It is located in the North-west of Moving a bit to the south again the sec- nation for anyone who wants to relax the country and it is a fairly small city, ond biggest city in Greece, Th essaloni- from the humdrum of everyday life, off ering a vast range of activities and ki, can be found, located directly by the but at the same time wants to explore sightseeing options. sea. Th e city itself off ers a wide range the nightlife options. What makes this city unique and of activities and sightseeing options. One of my favourite beaches is attracts visitors, is the magic atmos- Th ere are many museums and also the “Falasarna”, located in the western phere it conveys with the successful old town walls, where one can enjoy part of the island. With the wonderful combination of mountains and the the view of the whole city from above. combination of sun and sea, the beach lake. One can walk aside the lake and Th e most famous landmark of this city is also under protection through the enjoy the fresh air and the scenery or is the “White tower”. One can go up the EU Natura 2000 project. It is quite a explore the inside of the city. Th ere tower and again admire the breathtak- big beach, thus even if it is crowded are many byzantine churches, which ing view of the city and the sea. My fa- you won’t feel suff ocated as it usually are worth a visit and also there is a vourite activity in this city is walking by happens in the summertime. Th e only folklore museum, located inside an the seaside, which is quite relaxing and drawback would have to be the north- old mansion, where one can travel helps clear one’s mind. ern winds, making it sometimes diffi - to the past and imagine how people In close vicinity to the city, just a cult to swim and enjoy the sea. Other- used to live. In the vicinity of the city small drive away, one can go the beauti- wise it is just the perfect place to go; it there is a Neolithic lakeshore settle- ful beaches of Chalkidiki and enjoy the is also close to Chania, one of the big ment, called “Dispilio”, located on the sun and the sea. My personal favourite is the second “leg” of Chalkidiki, with fewer visitors. On the other hand, if you happen to be a bit more adventurous person, you can visit the highest mountain in Greece “Olympus”, the mythical moun- tain of the Gods, located 150 km from Th essaloniki. Olympus is famous for its hiking and walking paths, which can be accessed throughout the year. Th e city off ers restaurants with great cuisine, which please even the most de- manding food-lovers and it is the most famous city for its nightlife opportuni- ties and it’s called “the city that never sleeps”… As you can see Greece is a huge coun- try with diff erent sceneries throughout its area, so you can choose what is most appropriate for you. Start packing, Greece awaits you!!! FRIDAY 10 MAY 25

Travel Editor: Veronika McQuade TRAVEL [email protected] Making a splash in Mexico Stephanie Walton thinks you should vamos to South America All photos: Stephanie Walton

exico receives such that this mode of transport could jar bad press these fi llings loose. Th is I can believe. Relief days that it is hard from the bumpy ride comes, however, Mto believe it has a when another cart approaches from safe and beautiful the opposite direction: you must slow peninsula kicking out into the Carib- down and either stand your ground, or bean Sea. Th ere are white beaches, disembark and intentionally derail the fascinating Mayan ruins and magnifi - cart, in order to let the other pass! cent colonial cities. It seems that the Th e cenotes themselves are deep only two drawbacks to this balmy “Yu- underground and can be accessed ei- catán” Peninsula are that place names ther by slippery stone steps, or as in are unpronounceable (try “Xkeken” or one case, a perilously fl imsy step lad- “Xcaret”) and that although the street der. However, this inconvenience is food looks great, it might be regretted defi nitely worth it. Th e water, which I later. should add must be shared with fi sh, Th e Yucatecan feature perhaps is a surprisingly comfortable tem- most alien to us Englishmen is the perature, crystal clear and awesomely “cenote”. Th ousands of these magnifi - deep; diving opportunities are ample. cent underground sinkholes pepper Impressive stalactites hang down to the river-free land. Th e Mayans relied nearly within reach and bats nest on on cenotes for drinking water and the the cave’s ceiling. It’s a swimming ex- occasional swim; they say that after perience like no other and after three swimming in a cenote, you emerge 5 cenotes, although I still appeared the years younger. In addition, some were same age, I certainly felt more alive. used for human sacrifi ce such as the Another unparalleled Yucatecan haunting Sacred Cenote at Chichen swimming opportunity presents itself Itza used in the appeasement of the at Tulum. Here stand the remains of rain God, Chaac. a late-Maya city still occupied during Since cenotes provide much amuse- and after the Spanish arrival. Although ment to the tourist, many are open not as impressive architecturally as to the public. Some of the more en- other Maya sites, Tulum is perched on trepreneurial Mexicans in Cuzama a cliff next to the Caribbean Sea giving lead what can only be described as a it a picture-postcard beauty. On the “cenote-athon”, that is, visiting three beach its “Castillo” is clearly visible. Gone on holiday recently? Watched TV recently? Watched a fi lm? Listened to music? cenotes in as many hours. Anaemic- Th e sand is white and the sea inviting. Gone to an art gallery? Don’t just tell your Facebook friends about it (they said your looking horses transport tourists from Stop taking photos and get in! status updates are boring anyway), write for Felix. Email: [email protected] one cenote to the next on carts run on rail tracks. Th e guide-book warned us Read online: felixonline.co.uk 26 FRIDAY 10 MAY

HANGMAN [email protected] The hangman guide to a city banker life You’re going to work there anyway, so you might as well get a head start

Right, that’s it. I’m taking off my boy- notice? I’m sorry, but if your friends cocktail party, and you can instead get No-one is going to be out to help scout costume (which doesn’t really fi t aren’t going to keep their business as wasted as you want, and make even you, so you need to do everything for Opera Lyrics me any more) and I’m going to let old to themselves when they’re thinking more mess. You deserve it. yourself. Buy and suck your way to ladies get run over when they try to about changing star signs, you need Ultimately, there’s nothing I like the top. You can’t trust anyone else to cross the road. If a bunch of lost tour- to re-evaluate your friend catchment more than just sitting around and ex- hide the bodies, or to clean up your of the Week ists ask me for directions to Earl’s Court area. Th ey’re the kind of people who erting the least physical eff ort for the mess. I’m not saying that you should station, they’ll end up outside the local Instagram their daily bowel move- largest gain in fuck-all. I’m not go- go around pushing your annoying Verdi: “La traviata” homeless shelter instead. Worst of all, ments. Or Vine it, if they’re feeling ing to go out of my way, put on some colleagues onto the tracks infront of I’m not going to hold the door open for edgy. Instead, tell them to suck it up, clothes and actually leave the Felix of- the next Upminster-bound train, but anyone. I’m fed up with this world, and and deal with it in their own way – fi ce to volunteer at a soup kitchen. It rather you don’t help them up, once I’m just going to let it burn for a bit, everyone has their own problems, so doesn’t take more than one person to they’ve... uh... tripped. Pretend to be fall over, and then blow up in your face, piling theirs onto you isn’t the act of use a tin opener and microwave some traumatised and you can get their job, like a poorly made fi rework. a friend (it’s a wonder Hangman has bowls of soup. Don’t volunteer for ex- extra holiday, pity sex, and most im- On one side, I’m stuck with all the no friends eh? His Apprentice audition tra work, and you’ll be fi ne. portantly, a better desk. imbeciles that don’t know the diff er- tape was rejected for being “too much ence between muscovado and dem- of an arsehole”). It’s the act of someone erara sugar, and on the other side, who secretly wants you to lace their there’s the intellectual pricks who’ll food with laxatives, but is too afraid to lecture you on the correct pronun- ask. It’s a fetish thing, and they don’t ciation and etymology of ‘eat a bag of think you’ll understand. dicks’. If you start making a name for your- “Libiam ne’dolci fremiti Everyone you are going to meet at self as that ‘always-happy-to-help’ or che suscita l’amore.” your workplace is somewhere be- approachable kind of lass/lassette, (Let’s drink for the ecstatic tween these two stereotypes, and you’re in for a bad time. People start to feeling that love arouses.) you can rest assured that they don’t depend on you. Th ey need someone to care about you or your feelings. Th ey create a croque en bouche for the bake Wow, that’s quite a way to an- probably don’t even remember you sale to supplement your bosses bo- nounce to your lover that you’ve were there when they pushed straight nuses? You. Th ey’re looking for a fi nal got some trouble getting junior to through you, screaming into a bling- team mate to join them in the Crystal stand to attention. “I’m sorry my tastic, plastic-studded phone to one of Maze? You. (It’s a Tudor-Pole series, love, but I can’t feel aroused when their partners about their latest STD. not an O’Brian). Th ey need someone I’m with you, unless I’m drunk. So, I’m here to tell you to give up all to write a glowing bureaucratic report Why can’t you look more like your semblance of being a reasonable per- for a colleague, whilst you’re truly brother?” son, and instead be the greedy, self- wondering how they still have the job? centered person you see on the street, You. Life is a heck of a lot easier when and you’ll feel a better human for it. no-one has any expectations of you. Bizet: “Carmen” Do you often feel like a pillar of sup- If you appear to be unreliable, then port, ready to be leant upon and shat you won’t be the default selection for “... and they’re actually this large. They should call me Sir Chocolate Salty...“ on by pigeons, within a moment’s vomit-cleanup at the departmental the turnip Hangman’s Finest College News Source

“Comme ils vont du fer de leur Sir Alex Ferguson poised to manage North lance, harceler le flanc des taureaux! (How they’re going to, with the tip Korean forces of their lances, pierce the flank of the bulls!”)

reaking news from tent electricity and running water, after rumours that the North Korean Language used to be so beautiful. Pyongyang hints that the and wide-spread malnoutrishion, af- military forgot to actually load the Nowadays this would say “How soon-to-be ex-manager ter serving for 26 years in the north of oversized Nerf missiles. Th e FXSu- they’re going to, with the tip of their of Manchester United England. prLancher2k is the newest piece of penis, have sex with someone’s arse”. Football Club is leaving Pyongyang has refused requests to North Korean military technology, Would make Carmen a bit more en- hisB current job to take up a position detail the transfer, simply stating that purportedly bought off Amazon mar- tertaining though. Some ‘edgy’ prick in Kim Jong-Un’s military advisory “Th e supreme leader welcomes all ketplace in 2001, and has an eff ective in Shoreditch is probably writing a committee. It is thought that the 29 great western minds to his military. range of 200 metres. Not safe for dic- modern retelling right now actually. year old head of state was looking for BYOF. Please like our Facebook page tators under the age of 40. a military tactician after an advert at www.facebook.com/northkoreais- With this new arrangement of mili- Are you the laughing stock of was posted on Craigslist. bestkorea.” tary advisors, the US government is your Google social circle? Wow Sir Alex Ferguson is no stranger to Th is news comes just days after on high alert, and we advise students your friends by sending stuff in: warfare on the front lines, surviving North Korea was seen to be with- to be on the look out for any suspi- abysmal living conditions, intermit- drawing its missiles from the coast, cious activity, or unattended items. [email protected] FRIDAY 10 MAY 27

[email protected] HANGMAN

THE NEWS WITHOUT THE NEWS

NEW MACHINE IMAGES LEAD IN NEW REMAKE OF DAVID CAMERON’S WET SCARFACE “LACKS ABILITY TO DREAMS INTIMIDATE ON SCREEN” IT’S THE H TO THE IZZOS – HOROSCOPES CANCER TAURUS GEMINI VIRGO ARIES LEO

This week you’re enjoying the This week you are torn between This week you’ve heard that This week you get a spray This week your teeth grow an This week you grow a foot sunshine until you sunbathe sexual frustration and your strict massaging breasts can in- tan to mask the translucence inch and become sharper ev- long cat tail, and you are de- on an ants nest. The ants are revision schedule: 10 minutes crease their size. You begin a induced by too much time in ery time you masturbate. You lighted to fi nd that you can so furious they bite the same spent masturbating could be the strict regime of mammary stimu- the library. But you become manage to be disciplined and curl it round and insert it in spot on your leg until they difference between a 2.1 and lation on your girlfriend, and it an unprecedented shade of go a week at a time without your vagina (and/or anus). eat right through. They then a fi rst! You think about maths seems to be working as they orange, emitting an eye-scar- beating your meat, but even- It’s like having a furry dildo, crawl through your veins up proofs to distract you from your swell in size. You’re both delight- ring artifi cial glow. The phys- tually your fangs grow down which gives a curious but to your brain which they carry throbbing genitals and manage ed, until they start growing down ics department mistake you to your genitals. The next time pleasant sensation. But then back to their queen, one tiny to last until the exam. But then as well as out; before you know it for a source of radiation and you get hard, the sharp enam- the fur starts to moult, and piece at a time. Should have you accidently spaff all over her nipples are swinging by her lock you in a lead box with all el pierces your penis and you clogs up your vagina like a stayed inside revising… your answers and fail. belly-button. You’re dumped. their radioisotopes. Pint? die of blood loss/pain. hairy tampon. CAPRICORN SAGITTARIUS AQUARIUS SCORPIO PISCES LIBRA

This week your blood turns to ink This week you eat so much piz- This week you get diarrhoea This week you stop showering This week you decide that This week you must choose be- from poisoning by all the revision za that you turn into one. Your and put a cork up your anus to as a sneaky exam technique: your life sucks and wish you tween ejaculating baby slugs notes you’ve been writing. Un- skin becomes the crust; your prevent unwanted leakage. But distract your coursemates could be anywhere in the every time you come and hav- fortunately, the pigment in biros eyeballs the pepperoni; your during lectures, the pressure with your BO in the exam so world except the library. A ing tree branches for limbs. On cannot match the oxygen-trans- blood the tomato sauce. The builds up. The makeshift plug they can’t concentrate (or genie grants your wish and the one hand, fi ring slugs would porting abilities of haemoglobin, pepperoni obscures your eye- lasts until your meeting with even better, throw up all over transports you to a desolate condemn you to lifelong sexual and your tissues blacken and sight, so you blindly mistake your personal tutor, where it fi res their answers from the smell), warzone slum. You get bitten dissatisfaction but on the other, die from hypoxia. The necrotic your arm for a slice of Domi- out through your jeans at high then grades will be moderat- by a rabid dog and die wal- the branches would make it dif- process claims your eyes last, nos. You die of tomato loss be- speed. Your semi-digested jack- ed up! You may well get that lowing in your own excrement. fi cult to fi nd anyone who would forcing you to watch in horror as fore you can fi nd out if your ear et potato sprays all over his col- elusive fi rst, but at the cost of Be careful what you wish for, it sleep with you in the fi rst place. your whole body withers away. tasted better than your toes. lection of rare 1950s textbooks. lifetime social ostracism. could always be worse! What’s it going to be? 28 FRIDAY 10 MAY Puzzles Commanders: Sotirios Karamitsos, PUZZLES Louisa Byrne [email protected] Hashi Crossword Thanks to Paulo Giaccone for the Crossword!

Connect all the 2 3 1 2 2 islands with ver- tical and hori- 113 FUCWIT zontal non-inte- secting bridges 4 5 1 League Table so that you can 1 35 3 get from any is- INDIVIDUALS land to any other 2 3 1 Yufan Zhao 8 one.There can be 22Wael Aljeshi 4 up to two bridges between any two 3 2 Wow, exams must have really islands. Each is- 2 5 31 taken their toll on you guys. Send land indicates your answers to puzzles.felix@ the number of 1 23imperial.ac.uk, because revision bridges starting is for the weak.* from it. 1 3 3 2 2 3 3 22*Disclaimer: revision not actually for the weak.

Little teaser solution:

When reading out the lines it starts with one 3, so Last week’s solutions

the next line is 13. This is one 1 and one 3, so the

third line is 1113. The fourth is then 3113, etc

3 332 3 3 2 2 1 3 1 3 2 22 2 3 Quick clues “Rapid Growth” (8) 11. Deprive celebrity animal doctor, 3 0 1 1 1 Across nearly (6) 1. Cubist artist (7) 13. Person left behind old coin (4) 222 223 2 Rules as al- nish my revision. 2 5. Month (7) 14. Once on sand, stumbling for fleet- 9. Shy person (9, 6) ing moment (10) 2 1 2 2 3 1 2 10. Fast-spreading disease (8) 16. Columnist Ms Brand has pot at 11. Die from lack of food (6) top celebs (10) 3 3 2 3 1 1 3 13. Spirit (4) 17. In the beginning, almighty deity 14. Unit of time (10) actualised me (4) 2 33220 3 2 3 16. Reporter (10) 20. District attorney backing prosti- 17. Boy’s name (4) tution for tips (6) 1 2 1 3 1 1

20. Guidance (6) 21. The Citizen newspaper (8) Stand Special Slitherlink once more. the dreaded it’s Yes, Ophis after I fi by for more a single closed loop by vertically draw and hori- ways: squares zontally joining the dots so that numbered number of lines. by the corresponding surrounded are 21. Relating to a country (8) 23. Caution: oil spill at sea - it’s not 2 2222 3 2 3 23. Object of deceptive appearance what it seems (7, 8) (7, 8) 24. View glimpsed, we hear, by rugby 1 2 2 3 3 24. Features of a landscape (7) wings (7) 25. Halls of residence (7) 25. Shining example, uni charity’s one 2 1 2 1 3 2 2 2 short, after secretary (7) Down 3 2 0 2 2 3 2 22 21 1. Own (7) Down 33 2. Résumé (10, 5) 1. Have Sweden supporting American 2 3. Contralto or tenor (6) gangs (7) 2 3 2 3 4. At the start (10) 2. Courses worked at I’ve enclosed 2 2 3 5. Bacchanalia (4) with job application (10, 5)

6. Number (8) 3. Reigns over Adele, say (6) SpecialSlitherlink 7. Includes the tango and the waltz 4. First dole cheque turned up alto- (8, 7) gether quickly in the end (10) 8. Walk over again (7) 5. Sex party - alternatively, guys in 12. Nonsense (10) odd positions (4) 15. It has one wheel (8) 6. One involved in massaging the rent 16. Overprotective (7) might be unlucky (8) 18. Substance giving skin its colour 7. Featured on “Strictly”: Big Ronald (7) Colman doing a twist (8, 7) 19. Alcoholic drink (6) 8. Look over tyre lacking last of trac- 22. Kill (4) ery, brought in for this? (7) 12. Slap old cow about (or bull) (10) Cryptic clues 15. Suitable for all one hundred in nicely turned out vehicle (8) Across 16. I, French, a scumbag, almost 1. Painter’s sloppy, as is cop (7) resentful? (7) 5. Company turned around to toler- 18. Man (Neil) mixed pigment (7) ate missing a month (7) 19. Drink, sweet, no ice (6) 9. Psychiatrist at home, first to grow 22. Do away with winter transport by flower - wallflower? (9, 6) the sound of it (4) 10. Ms Moore, actress in blockbuster

unionpage

Idea Days 2013 - first one at South Kensington, Wednesday 15 May

EVENTS THIS WEEK imperialcollegeunion.org/stressless

Idea Days 2013 MASSAGES Tuesday 14 May, 11:00 - 17:00 Free Library Sitting down hunched over your Our first Idea Day is on Wednesday 15 May, 11:00 - 15:00, Sherfield Foyer, South Kensington campus. You’ll be computer can really make your able to tell us your opinions on a wide range of issues and what the Union can be doing to help and get some muscles ache. Come to the Library freebies for doing so! Cafe and let a professional massue gently massage your stress away, The day will be designed to get your input on the Union’s draft Strategic Plan, so that we can create a final plan for making you feel more relaxed and the organisation to work from for the next three years. We want to find our what’s important to you as a student ready for anything. at Imperial College, and how we can help you get the best of your experience, both during and after your time here. BOXFIT Details of Idea Days on other campuses will be coming soon. In the mean time, you can give your feedback online Thursday 16 May, 12:00-12:45 on each of our Strategic Themes. All comments we receive will help us inform our Strategic Plan and ensure that and 16:00-17:00 it fully caters for all of our members. Free Queen’s Lawn imperialcollegeunion.org/strategy BoxFit is a great form of exercise, a high intensity workout. It helps develop your overall strength as well as balance and dynamic flexibility, also improving stamina Real Ales at Imperial College Union - which and coordination. A great way to get all that frustrating stress out guest ale do you want in June? of your system. In case of bad weather BoxFit will be held in Court 5, Ethos.

ONE BIG THING / 5K ANYWAY Friday 17 May, 17:00 - 20:00 Free Hyde Park As part of Ukactive’s ‘One Big Thing’, 5k Anyway is primarily a 5K fun run in Hyde Park and is open to all Imperial staff and Students. The course can be completed anyway We’ve been running our guest ale polls for a few months now, and as a result, we’ve you wish (run, walk, wheelbarrow hosted a new guest ale in FiveSixEight and The Union Bar every month. May’s guest ale races, three legged races etc) and is Naked Ladies, and now it’s time to vote for a new ale for June. All you need to do is we also have the opportunity of take the poll at imperialcollegeunion.org/realales and the ale with the highest votes wins! rowing 5K in Ethos. There will be The current poll will close at 12:00, Friday 24 May, and the winning ale will be on sale from prizes for the best fancy dress, June. fastest male and female and fastest team time. imperialcollegeunion.org/realales

imperialcollegeunion.org FRIDAY 10 MAY 31

Sport Editors: Oli Benton, Margot Pikovsky, Sorcha Cotter SPORT [email protected] Imperial Falcons claw onto third place Baseball team put on impressive display, thankfully beating UCL

Chris Carter Sports Writer from scoring. Th e deadlock was bro- ken, however, in the top of the fourth inning as a number of Imperial errors After a hard fought weekend of match- allowed UCL four runs. Fortunately, es, the Imperial Falcons rounded off Imperial managed to claw a couple their season with an emphatic victory back in the bottom of that inning over the UEA Blue Sox, giving us a against the pitching of UCL’s 50-Year- third-place fi nish in the BUBA Spring Old Man. Cup. Th anks to some excellent pitching Th e Falcons’ cup campaign got off to by Hajime, UCL failed to score in their a shaky start on the Saturday as club fi nal inning, leaving us needing three president Dan “Wrong Gear!” Harris runs to win the game. A few batters stalled the minibus a grand total of later, the game was tied at 4-4, with two four times on the way to the ground. runners on and one out, with rookie Despite some equally dodgy navigat- Simon Andersson stepping up to the ing from general manager Vincent Li, plate. On the third pitch, Simon sent the team got to Croydon in time for the ball fl ying towards right fi eld; the the fi rst match, with high hopes of a Imperial bench held its breath as the successful tournament. ball hung in the air, only for it to come Imperial opened their campaign down inches away from the fi elder’s against UCL, in a game that was ex- outstretched arm. Sam O’Mullane ran pected to be a relatively easy victory. home, giving Simon a walk-off hit, and Th e game was tight during the fi rst giving Imperial a tense 5-4 victory. Come and tell me no hot drinks two innings, as pitcher Hajime Urata Our next game, against the South- in the computer room now and the Imperial defence kept UCL ampton Mustangs, started in similar

        fashion, with neither team scoring in ham had mostly recovered from their stacked up over the course of the week-   the fi rst two innings, thanks to some hangovers and brought on their better end. Th is was compounded when our tight pitching, this time by Vincent. pitcher. Th e score crept up, however, fi rst baseman left half way through the Once again, however, Imperial’s de- and Imperial’s third inning began with fi rst inning to umpire the tournament fence cracked in the third inning, leav- the Falcons 4-2 down. Despite the “at- fi nal. Fortunately, however, the lack of    ing Southampton four runs up. Th e bat from hell” (during which Simon fully-functional fi elders proved not to  Falcons only scored two in the top of popped his shoulder and Julian pulled be a problem, as Imperial pitcher Yu- the fourth inning, but since it was a his hamstring), we tacked on another taro struck out seven of the opposition  timed game, another inning would be run, as Dan Harris came home in co- batters in the fi rst three innings, while played if we could end Southampton’s medic fashion – Dan tried to slide into not giving up a single hit. Meanwhile, inning in eight minutes. Fortunately, the plate, tripped over, and then (liter- Imperial’s off ense slowly built up the     Hajime returned to pitch a breathless ally) crawled home as the opposition score, going up 4-0 after three innings.    fourth inning, retiring Southampton catcher let the throw from 2nd base As the sun came out during the in six minutes to give Imperial a shot through his legs. top of the fourth inning, Yutaro con-  at an unlikely victory. It wasn’t to be, Pitcher Hajime Urata shut Not- tinued his attempt to pitch a perfect  however, as the Falcons managed only tingham out in the top of the fourth game, and may have succeeded if not one run in their fi fth inning, giving inning, leaving Imperial needing two for emergency catcher Vincent, who Southampton a 5-3 victory. runs to win. Despite what he claimed obstructed a batter, causing a balk      Th e Sunday began with our fi nal was a “potentially career ending, crip- and costing Yutaro his perfect game. group game against the (slightly hun- pling hamstring injury”, Kevin Mc- Imperial added more runs during the gover) Nottingham Th ieves; the Im- Donald brought Yutaro Jimbo home bottom of the inning, leaving UEA ! "  perial bench swiftly exhausted the for the fi rst run, leaving Imperial with needing 6 runs to make Imperial bat supply of jokes about stealing bases. one out and two men on base, looking again. Despite, some gallant off ense,   "    Our defence made an excellent start, sure of victory. Th e Falcons could not including a two-run home-run, Impe- #$  which continued as starting pitcher drive their advantage home, however, rial fi nished the game as 6-2 winners, Sidney Louzon didn’t give up a single meaning a fi fth inning would be re- sealing a third-place fi nish in the tour- run over the fi rst three innings. Mean- quired. Unfortunately, during the top nament; congratulations go to ULJS while, Imperial’s off ense racked up the of the fi fth, Nottingham hit their stride for a well-deserved victory in the fi nal. runs, going into Nottingham’s fi nal in- and hit four runs, leaving the Falcons Th e game against UEA was a great ###% % %" nings 11-0 up. As Sidney tired, Not- with a mountain to climb in the bot- end to a long season, in which we won tingham began a late rally, but it wasn’t tom of the innings. Imperial failed to some, lost some and learnt the true enough as Julian Chiu struck out the score as Nottingham ran out 9-5 win- meaning of the word “cold”. It’s been last of Nottingham’s off ense. Th e 11-6 ners, putting them through to the fi nal great to see the freshers improving win put Imperial through to the semi- against ULJS. throughout the season (special men- fi nals, and another match against Not- Imperial went into the fi nal game of tion to Simon, Jacques Smith and tingham. the tournament against the UEA Blue Lewis Weinberger), and all the best for Th e semi-fi nal was much closer Sox, competing for third place with a the fourth years and Masters students than the group game, as Notting- depleted line-up, as the injuries had who leave at the end of the year. 10/05/13 Issue 1546 felixonline.co.uk @SportFelix

SPORT “Keep the Cat Free” We will surfive... Everybody’s surfi ng... surfi ng USA Newquay

Lizzy Griffiths Sports Writer

On the 1st March, the call of Newquay found SurfSoc packing into a minibus for our second trip of 2013. Already full and with two people still to pick up at Bristol, we battled on through the Friday traffi c towards our goal: the sea (and Belushi’s). At Bristol, we stocked up on passengers, port and WKD with Carly Rae on full volume. Th e creation of the ‘social seat’ and a few Cheeky Vimto’s later, the atmos- phere began to heat up and soon the whole minibus was skanking to Ra- dio1’s Friday Nite Dubstep Bangerz. Big up to Alex ‘Karbs’ Karvelas for not crashing at this point while Adam ‘Hardcore’ Harvey was gyrating in his face! However, Karbs became progres- sively less composed as the frequency of toilet stops “on the side of a f***ing road” increased but at around 1am we fi nally rolled into our destination. Th e night was still young though, and there was still time for many Jaeger bombs and games of International Cock or Ball before the Belushi’s staff began to tire of our antics and we fi - nally resigned ourselves to bed. Disaster struck on Saturday morn- ing with the realisation that Hardcore had lost his coat with the minibus keys in while raving with some new Polish friends. I dread to think what the com- bined eff ect of that nervous ‘shitting myself’ feeling and the hangover had on his bowels. But luckily it turned out Dario ‘A-frame’ Mazza had them all along. With the panic over and many small but perfectly formed waves surfed (apart from by those who were well because no one had set an alarm. too ill to get in the water/ had locked Having missed check-out time and their wetsuit in the minibus), a quick breakfast, there was only one thing to nap was had before fi nes commenced. do: get back in the water anyway. Th e As well as customary drinking, the bracing water was enough to revive main activity of Saturday night was us despite the lack of waves, and af- grazing. Being the only girl on the trip, ter a few hours (or 20 minutes in one Lucy Bareback fell victim to repeated case) we were ready for hot chocolates rounds of abuse and by the end of the and more Belushi’s burgers. Manny night, had pretty crispy locks. Dolled and Dangermouse just couldn’t get up Sailors punters did not take having enough of the salty liquid though, and their hair chewed so lightly though, managed to stay out on Fistral for an which nearly led to Zombie John be- impressive 5 hours. We reluctantly ing escorted from the premises. Th e returned to London tired but in high night fi nished with a star appearance spirits after another successful Surf- by Professor Bean, whose explana- Soc session. tions of palaeontology ensured that everyone enjoyed an ‘integrated learn- Want to get involved? Booking is now ing process’ as a bedtime story. open for our Summer Tour - email us Th e waves were pretty non-existent at [email protected] for more de- on Sunday morning, which was just as tails!