page 2 the paper april 17, 2019

Sean Kingston pg. 3 Starbucks Trash pg. 9 Juice WRLD pg. 12 Deadits pg. 16 Features & Lists pg. 20 Wax pg. 22

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Sean Kingston Controversy Casts Doubt on Spring Weekend Performance by Suresh Hanubal USG, CAB issue statements on event News Editor Although most of these college college tour that Fordham is a part headliner. This occurred on Mar. 29, Disclaimer: This article’s performances have gone off without a of. In an email correspondence with 2019. author is affiliated with the group hitch, three universities have canceled The University of Connecticut’s CAB CAB responded to these concerns “studentsagainstsean”, was present him after their student body’s equivalent known as SUBOG, the and asked the aforementioned at the Apr. 9 meeting between raised concerns to their respective paper learned that the school decided complainants, hereon referred to as “studentsagainstsean” and Campus administrations and CAB equivalents. to cancel the performance after careful “studentsagainstsean”, if they would Activities Board (CAB), and participated Western University, located in London, consideration of all factors involved like to meet and discuss the issue in the Apr. 11 USG RH meeting in which Ontario, canceled Kingston from their after students raised the matter with further. Studentsagainstsean agreed, the Sexual Assault allegations against and on Apr. 9, 2019, the group met Sean Kingston were raised with CAB president Kathryn Teaney, At the time of this writing, Apr. 14, FCRH ‘19, and CAB advisor Francesca 2019, Sean Kingston is scheduled to Laite. During the hour-long meeting, a perform as Fordham University’s Spring number of issues were addressed. Weekend Headliner. However, events Ms. Mueller first raised a concern that have recently come to light have relating to the initial Spring Weekend cast doubt on the performance. announcement post. She stated that In 2010, Sean Kingston and two she left a comment on the original other men allegedly participated in a Sean Kingston announcement post gang rape following his appearance about the sexual assault allegations at a Justin Bieber concert. Carissa raised against them. She alleges Capeloto, aged 19 at the time, claimed that after she did so, comments on that she had 7-10 shots of vodka and the post were disabled. Ms. Teaney had smoked marijuana beforehand stated that it was CAB official policy to and as such was not in a position to disable comments on Spring Weekend consent to sexual relations. announcement posts after an incident Capeloto attempted to file a report that occurred with Timeflies, the Spring with local police at the time, but her Weekend headliner in 2017. However, claims were dismissed as “not credible in conducting research on the matter, enough”. In addition, Kingston has the paper discovered that last year’s asserted that Capeloto’s story has been Spring Weekend announcement inconsistent and that “the medical post about T-Pain still has comments report had no indications of force”. enabled. Ms. Teaney later clarified that Capeloto disputes both of those claims. this policy was instituted during her However, both sides do agree that Orientation Week Concert in 2013, the schools’ administration. presidency, which began this year. sexual relations transpired between the when the lawsuit was ongoing. Similarly, The allegations against Kingston In response to concerns raised by two individuals, they just disagree as Seattle University, a Jesuit institution were brought to the attention of Emily the group as to how the allegations to whether or not said sexual relations located in Seattle, Washington, Mueller, FCRH ‘21, from a friend who went unnoticed, Ms. Teaney explained were consensual. canceled him from Quadstock, their transferred to Fordham from Seattle the processes behind the selection In 2013, Capeloto filed a lawsuit Spring Weekend equivalent, in 2017. University. After hearing about the and booking of a Spring Weekend against Kingston and the two other On Apr. 11, 2019, The University allegations, Mueller, Emily Andrade, performer. CAB begins looking for participants in the alleged gang rape. of Connecticut also canceled Sean FCRH ‘21, Meg Vanecko, FCRH ‘21, Spring Weekend performers in May of The suit was settled out of court for $5 Kingston from their Spring Weekend Arden Crawford, FRCH ‘21 and two the year prior. This process continues million. equivalent, known as “UCONNIC”. other womxn who preferred to remain throughout the summer, with CAB In the following years, Sean Kingston Kingston’s performance at the school unnamed, sent an email to CAB looking for performers who align with has been on multiple college tours. would have been a part of the same detailing their concerns about the (continued on p.4) page 4 the paper april 17, 2019 Faker than Sean Kingston Controversy Truth (continued from p. 3) Kingston did not breach his contract. Ms. Teaney responded in the negative, by Christian Decker Jesuit values. They then send out a student survey As such, even if Kingston is canceled stating that “we work through an agent with options on which artists students from Spring Weekend, CAB would still who then would contact his agent”. Local Pizzeria Decides to would like to see perform at Spring have to pay him the agreed-upon price Ms. Teaney also stated that the “artist Sell Cardboard Pizza Because Weekend at the beginning of each for performing at the University. approval process as a whole is under Why Not? year. After this, their agent is contacted CAB did not specify what amount this review right now”. Ms. Teaney further to find performers that both fit in with would be, but the paper reached out to reiterated that Sean Kingston would CAB’s price range and that students Seattle University’s student newspaper be a co-headliner with Whethan and Local pizza joint Rinaldo’s expressed interest in on the student The Spectator, which stated that their not the sole headliner. CAB’s official has decided to offer a new survey. The agent then performs a school booked Kingston for $25,000 in statement on the matter is as follows: delicious delicacy for its cus- background check on each potential 2017. Though we do take these tomers, cardboard pizza. “After performer, ensuring that their past After the Apr. 9 meeting with CAB, accusations very seriously and think years of serving delicious New behavior again conforms with Jesuit the questions of any student about At the end of them are understandable, after careful York style pizza, we decided values. consideration, we think it best not to it was time to try something CAB then conducts its own vetting on each performer. Ms. Teaney explained the meeting, break this contract and remove Sean new,” says Alexander Benja- that this involves running a Google USG RH decided Kingston from the Spring Weekend min, owner of Rinaldo’s. search on each performer’s name lineup. CAB members met individually The new pizzas will come followed by the keyword “controversy”. to submit an with a group of concerned students in their usual pizza boxes, but CAB then looks through the first five on Tuesday evening, at the Student with a smaller cardboard piece pages of results, scanning for any posts official statement Life Council on Wednesday, and inside, covered in tomato or articles that would again conflict at the United Student Government meeting on Thursday to hear from sauce and mozzarella cheese, with the University’s Jesuit mission or requesting that cause any student uproar. Apparently, additional constituents in order to and all of your favorite top- when CAB conducted this search in the “all voices involved take all factors into consideration. The pings! fall, no such articles or posts on the accusations from 2013 were settled “We decided to cut back on alleged sexual assault case showed up. in the performer in civil court, Mr. Kingston was never costs because the dough pric- However, when the paper conducted selection process arrested or prosecuted, and we have es were really killing us, we’re this same search just a couple of days no additional information other than already buying the cardboard ago the very first link concerned this tabloid news reports. The contracts rescind their offer were signed in the fall semester and so we might as well use it!” matter, as did a number of other posts on the first page. to Kingston to only since then have we learned about The prices of the pizzas After this, as long as everything his sexual assault allegations. The new will stay the same, but the seems okay, CAB then extends their perform at Fordham information does not affect the validity joyous flavor of cardboard will offer to the performers, and wait for of our contract with Mr. Kingston and be introduced to your pizzas! them to either deny or accept. This year, University on April at this time we plan to keep him in the Rinaldo’s has also announced the initial performers were scheduled lineup for the concert. As of Friday, that there will be a special in to be Soulja Boy, Sean Kingston, and 27”. CAB and OSI continue to discuss the concerns and are making sure to take which you can purchase soda Bryce Vine. However, as is public record, Soulja Boy was canceled after “studentsagainstsean” leader Emily all questions into consideration. that is just pull of shredded he breached his contract when he Mueller presented her case to the Also of note herein, is the three paper, for extra fiber! The new was arrested in March. He was then Student Life Council on Apr. 10 and Instagram accounts that have garlic knots and breadsticks replaced by the artist Whethan. then to United Student Government been formed over the past two will now jsut be long sticks of Speaking about the contract, Ms. Rose Hill (USG RH) on Apr. 11. At the Apr. weeks; @studentsagainstsean, cardboardcovered in garlic and Teaney made it clear during the 11 meeting, “studentsagainstsean” @studentsforsean, and @ chesse so that yoyu don’t have Tuesday meeting that the only way that presented its case to USG RH. At the studentswhoareneutral. @ end of the meeting, USG RH decided to studentsagainstsean was created to see it! CAB could cancel Kingston without losing the cost of the performance submit an official statement requesting on Apr. 4 by Ms. Mueller, and since would be if he breached his contract . that “all voices involved in the performer then has served as a major form of Again, the only way in which Kingston selection process rescind their offer advocacy for the #CancelSeanKingston breaches his contract is if he faces to Kingston to perform at Fordham movement. @studentsforsean and some form of legal trouble in the University on April 27”. @studentsneutralsean were made interim period between the signing of On Wednesday, Apr. 10, the paper immediately after the Apr. 11 USG the contract and the Spring Weekend submitted a series of questions via RH meeting. Each expresses a very concert itself. As the allegations are a email to Ms. Teaney. The first asked different opinion on the controversy. decade old at this point and he did not whether or not CAB or someone from The events relating to this controversy face any legal trouble for this matter, the University had had a conversation are sure to continue to develop over the with Kingston about the allegations. next couple of days and weeks. april 17, 2019 the paper page 5 Jumpstart For A Day Celebration Realer By Katelyn Cody Jumpstart holds annual program for preschoolers Copy Editor Jack Keats (most popularly known popular with the children that Jumpstart On Saturday, April 13, Fordham Than for his book the Snowy Day), Lola works with. University’s Jumpstart Program held Plants a Garden by Anna McQuinn, In addition to the activities their annual Jumpstart for a Day and Jabari Jumps by Gaia Cornwall. geared toward children, there were also Celebration. One of the key aspects of the community partners present to provide Fact Jumpstart is a nationwide Jumpstart program is the use of resources to parents. LiteracyINC, an By Christian Decker organization that provides early books with main characters that organization that is working to build literacy and social-emotional represent ethnic minorities and community networks to help increase Not the Bees! : Doctors resources to preschool students are often set in urban settings. literacy rates in urban areas, was there find four living bees in low-income districts with the Due to the fact that most of the to raffle off some free books to children aim of ensuring that every child inside woman’s eye children Jumpstart services are and their families. will enter kindergarten ready to from predominantly minority, The day even included a visit succeed. Jumpstart enlists local under-resourced communities, it from a couple local police officers who This is literally college students and community is an important mission for the joined in on the fun and played with the something out of one volunteers to carry out programing organization to provide children kids. One even participated in the dance that strengthens various aspects of the alien movies. A with representation and to also party and played basketball with some of students’ speech, language, and woman in Taiwan went to provide books in languages other of the kids playing on a nearby court. reading comprehension skills. This than English. For example, children The students who attended the hospital, complaining year, Fordham’s chapter of Jumpstart who attended Saturday’s event Jumpstart for A Day came away with has over 20 corps members serving about a stinging pain in each went home with a free book, a strengthened interest in reading in three preschools across the Bronx. her left eye, which later one of them being a copy of Lola and some new books and activities to Jumpstart members attend twice Plants a Garden that happened facilitate that. Just like with the kids caused the eye to be weekly sessions at their respective to be written in both English and that Jumpstart works with on a weekly swollen, according to the preschools during which they lead Spanish. basis, the kids were visibly excited at students in small-group read-alouds Huffington Post. According Jumpstart corps members the prospect of getting a new book to and hands-on activities revolving to Dr. Hung Chi-ting the maned arts and craft tables with read at home. around the book of the week and a activities based on the books, But it wasn’t just the kids who bees survived in the unit theme. such as planting mini flower had fun. Jumpstart corps members Once a year, Jumpstart woman’s eyes because pots to take home, just like in enjoyed getting interact with a new group chapters throughout the nation they fed on the moisture Lola Plants a Garden and testing of kids, including children who were a hold a “Jumpstart for a Day” event different objects to see if they sink little bit older and even younger than from her tears. Apparently in their local community. Fordham or float, similar to in Jabari Jumps the preschool students that Jumpstart they are a separate University Jumpstart corps members in which the main character faces usually works with. Caroline Holtz (FCRH participated in the Bronx event, species of bee called his fears about jumping off of the ‘20) loves working with the program and which was held in the playground at diving board at his local public said that it is an “enriching and fulfilling” the “sweat bee” that St. Mary’s Park in the neighborhood pool. Additionally, one of the arts way to spend her day. Mariana Beltran- feed on the sweat and of Mott Haven. Fordham students and crafts tables featured a non- Hernandez emphasized that “the kids were joined by Jumpstart corps tears form both animals fiction book, educating readers are cute” and make coming into the members from Lehman College and and humans, according about butterflies. Therefore, the classroom each week a little bit more Monroe College. The three groups activity included creating colorful exciting. For many of the Jumpstart to Huffington Post. The of college students came together butterflies out of coffee filters, Corps members, going to session is a Saturday morning to conduct some woman is luckily ok, and food coloring, colorful clothespins, highlight of their day. of the same activities they do in the the bees were removed and pipecleaners. This particular Jumpstart is now accepting classroom out in the community. activity drew a large crowd and applications for their 2019-2020 Corps alive without any damage Activities for the day included taught children about not only and is a great way to get more involved to the woman’s eyesight, read alouds conducted by both butterflies, but also about primary with the Bronx community and is a Jumpstart members and local public and the bees are now in and secondary colors as they mixed great option for aspiring teachers to get school teacher and author, Anthony food coloring together to make new fieldwork hours. a lab for research. Excuse Tucker, who did a reading of his new colors for their butterflies. You can fill out the application here: me while I go and never book Tied In. The main character of However, the day was not all arts https://application.jstart.org/ the book, uses everyday objects, sleep again because of and crafts. The event included a If you have any questions, you can like a piece of cloth, to explore the this story. dance party led by an instructor reach out to Fordham’s Volunteer endless possibilities that creativity from UGOT Active Kids. Additionally Manager, Diandra Malahoo at diandra. and imagination offer him. Other there were tables set up for children [email protected] books featured at the event included, to play with legos and with play Whistle for Willie by author Ezra dough; two toys that are incredibly page 6 the paper april 17, 2019 If the Price for that Lipgloss Seems too Good to be True..It Probably Is By Angelina Zervos As the old adage goes, you get what you pay for ... Opinions Editor Cosmetics, of which he is the founder launched to find the organizers of the recently… Sometimes, you just want to and CEO, is unique in that its products massive robbery. He even insinuated The whole situation has the save a couple extra bucks on makeup, are not sold at high-profile makeup that the culprits may have also been beauty community raising eyebrows especially if you’re like me and wear retailers such as Sephora or Ulta; it involved with another robbery that at discount retailers who sell high- makeup almost every day. But why settle is largely a web-based brand. For the took place last year, when $4.5 Million end beauty products; however, the for drug store beauty brands when you latest collection launches fans must worth of makeup was stolen from an real issue lies within the counterfeit can simply buy knock-off or unreleased purchase directly from Star’s website, Anastasia Beverly Hills (the company and black-market makeup industries high-end products for waaay cheaper where all of the purchases are packaged famous for brow powder and contour that have huge online communities on from obscure sellers on Facebook and and shipped from his warehouse. kits) warehouse in L.A. Despite these platforms like Facebook and EBay. The EBay? DON’T DO THAT. JUST DON’T. Star explained that he had shocking allegations and insight into first picture of Star’s stolen concealer Here’s why. been awaiting the stolen products to the world of stolen and counterfeit was posted to a black-market makeup The counterfeit makeup appear for sale online; the counterfeit makeup, no major news sources have community on Facebook. Not only is the industry has garnered widespread makeup industry works extremely fast covered the event. Good thing the paper use of counterfeit makeup extremely attention when earlier this month, to create knockoff products, which is talking about it. risky for your health, but in the case of internet celebrity and makeup mogul not only poses copyright infringement This past week, Star released Star’s makeup line, purchasing black- Jeffree Star released a video on his and other related issues for makeup another shocking update: his products market products are a federal offense. YouTube channel titled “My Concealer companies, but also serious health risks were found for sale at discount retailers According to Star, the woman who Line Was Stolen & Leaked ($2.5 Million (studies have shown that such products such as T.J. Maxx and Burlington Coat originally posted the photo has been of Makeup Hijacked)” where he detailed contain high concentrations of bacteria Factory. While these were not the taken into custody by authorities. an alleged large-scale robbery of his and POOP! Actual poop!). The feds are products that had been stolen from him If there really is a FBI California warehouse building. Star constantly seizing counterfeit makeup most recently, he revealed that they investigation underway, I’m very decided to go public with the news which violate U.S. health regulations, were products that had been discarded interested to see the outcome. At the after images of the stolen makeup, but the situation as exposed by Jeffree in his warehouse because they were end of the day, saving money on a which included an entire shade of an Star crosses into a different territory of expired or had bad formulas. Definitely beauty product that can either burn unreleased concealer product, started crime: the illegal sale of stolen goods. not the sort of stuff you want to put on your face off or send you to prison is surfacing online. In his video, Star revealed that your face. Now that I think about it...I just not worth it. Star’s brand, Jeffree Star an alleged FBI investigation has been did buy a contour kit from T.J. Maxx Fordham Wins Tinder Contest By Suresh Hanubal Juice WRLD and Charli XCX to Perform News Editor same thing as regular Tinder, except The free concert is expected to swiping right in a manner similar As many of you may know, that you put in all your credentials for take place on 24th April at a location to that before the competition. Fordham University just won TinderU’s your university and use that to log-in to be determined somewhere within #SwipeOff contest. This contest, in and interact with other students from fifty miles of Fordham University’s Interestingly enough, as stated many ways inspired by the March both your own university and other campus. All students need to attend the concert will take place on Apr. Madness tournament, pits universities universities within your general area. the concert is a valid student ID and 24. This is just three days before the across the country against each other a TinderU account. Originally, some Spring Weekend Concert, which is to see which one has the highest Last year, Tinder held the same students had concerns about the fact scheduled to take place on Apr. 27. ratio of “swipe rights”. The winner of #SwipeOff contest, with the performer that initially, Tinder was only going to As there has been a lot of controversy the competition gets a free concert, being the controversial rapper and allow 500 people to attend. However, recently about the co-headliner with the performer(s) this year being alleged sexual assailant Cardi B. Tinder addressed those concerns, at that event, this may provide an popular rapper Juice WRLD and British The University of Massachusetts at and have expanded significantly the alternative to concerned students. artist Charli XCX. This year, more than Amherst won that competition, and number of people who will be able to 100 schools were included in the Cardi B performed on the schools’ enjoy the event. Some students have Fordham’s student body’s unity in this competition. In the final four, Fordham campus. The university beat more also expressed concerns about where competition may come as a surprise to University was pitted against Stanford than sixty other schools to be awarded exactly the event will take place, as the outside observer, as the campus University, Cornell University, and The this honor. As reported in publications the location is yet to be determined. remains divided in the wake of many University of California at San Diego. such as “The Boston Globe,” UMass scandals that have roiled the school Amherst students overall had a A wide variety of students participated within the last few years. However, The #SwipeOff contest was facilitated fantastic time at the concert with in the competition. Those who had the unity shown during the #SwipeOff by Tinder’s app. Essentially, participants many describing it as one of the best otherwise had never used the dating competition shows that regardless of in the contest were students at experiences of their lives. Hopefully, app downloaded it en masse, as did a one’s opinion on matters ranging from universities across the country, and Juice WRLD and Charli XCX’s surprising number of people who are in the school’s sex abuse crisis to Sean in order to be included in said contest performances at Fordham garner a committed monogamous relationships. Kingston, that at the end of the day all you had to be part of Tinder’s TinderU similar reaction from the student body. Also, there were obviously a large everyone really wants is a free concert. program. TinderU is essentially the number of students who were merely april 17, 2019 the paper page 7

the paper’s Bachelor Attended the USG Candidate Forum By Noah Kotlarek Copy Editor We should really start paying more attention to student government Last Wednesday, April 10th, 2019 they and how can we expect them to president? I hope not. be for the best, since, according to my I had the honor of being the guest of serve the people. Surely Austin Tong Even more surprisingly to me is the source, the best leader has been hand Senator-hopeful Rich Shrestha and would have been in attendance! Reilly fact that the executive ticket, consisting selected by the people who work closest current-Senator Matthew Heutel to Keane, Vice-Presidential candidate of Kaylee Wong and Ashley Qamar, is to her in student government. But, in Fordham University’s 2019 Student for Gabelli, at least appeared on running uncontested. No other student principle it seems that more people Government “Meet the Candidates” a television screen to address the wants to be the President of Fordham should have run. This would have Event in the McGinley Ballroom. Here audience view Skype. This effort to University’s student government. increased school spirit and awareness students vying to be vice presidents connect is honorable. The one good Shouldn’t every senator and student of United Student Government. Which of committees and representatives thing about this plague of absence is council member dream of being the leads perfectly into the next issue: of their respective classes came to that it makes deciding on who to vote president of the school, or at least student attendance. persuade us that they would be the for much easier. shouldn’t more than just one? I’m not It seems the only people in best fit for their desired positions. I took attendance at the meet-the-candidates the opportunity to do some investigate events were the candidates and the journalism for the paper. three guests that they were asked Though the speeches were polished by USG to bring to the event. This is and the candidates were well dressed, unfortunate. Perhaps, if there had been there were a few issues with the more candidates and more exciting event. First, a significant portion of campaigns on campus, students would the candidates were absent, second, be more inclined to attend and would many of the candidates including certainly lead to great awareness the President of USG were running of the student government and its uncontested, and audience attendance functions. Throughout the speeches was lackluster. Each pointed to a this lack of awareness was a common deeper concern regarding the student theme yet many candidates failed to government. Gone was the hype and attend the event themselves. First the excitement of high school student USG members must show that they council speeches and debate. What a care, which I’m sure that they do care, shame. before they can expect the student About seven of the speeches had to Surprisingly to me, four of the seven saying Wong and Qamar are unqualified body to care. I hope and am optimistic be delivered by the moderator since the vice-presidential candidates are for the job or that the students have that the incoming senators, vice- candidates were absent, making me running uncontested and the VP of been deprived from a truly free choice presidents, and executive president question how good their attendance in Sustainability position is only being to select their leader, but the fact that and vice-president will address this. to student council events would be. If fought for by write-in candidates. This only one ticket decided to run for the But in order to improve the they are unable to attend this critical is concerning, there is a plethora of highest position says something about condition and involvement in USG, event, which is about them, what will students running to be senator but why the Student Government. the constituents, us, must too take motivate them to attend the “smaller” do so few desire to be vice-presidents? However, a United Student action. Unfortunately, students love to events designed not for themselves Is it too much work, were the students Government insider, informed me complain, but don’t care enough to run but for the students. Admittedly, who had previously served as senators that some of the people who were nor attend (then again, that’s just what though, many of the sophomore discouraged by the work, do they see considering running decided not to I’m doing, kind of). We like what is Gabelli candidates were studying at their contributions to the student because they felt Wong and Qamar easy, but must strive to do better. From the London Campus, giving them some government too insignificant to wish to were the only ones who deserved to there, we can bring real to the school. pass. But for the others, where were continue in the higher position of vice- win the executive election. This may page 8 the paper april 17, 2019 Wrapping Up a Memorable Year for Fordham By Andrew Millman A look back at some of the highlights of the year Opinions Editor illustrious careers as the paper’s many times to count. The NYPD really shouldn’t have been surprised. One of Fordham University’s most advice columnists just a few short arrested a guy in front of Dirty South I enjoy Juice Wrld’s music, but he’s hallowed traditions is Fordham months ago. (my freshman-year dorm) while a tour also really whiny and emo. Plus, let’s students’ performative trashing of Michael Cohen, Trump’s erstwhile group of prospective students and face it, his misogynistic undertons this very institution. We’ve all done goon, threatening Father McShane their parents watched. This video is are actually pretty overt (see “All Girls it in some form or another, some over keeping the Fordham attendee’s Fordham’s equivalent of the Zapruder Are the Same”). That seems to be people more than others. And, to colleges grades secret was hilarious. film, and for admissions, probably the an attraction and not a deterrent for be fair, the Jesuit University of New Cohen’s letter to McShane read like it most devastating. many fuckboys. York© provides lots of ammunition for was written by a Sopranos character, A certain off-campus small-business To celebrate these historic its students, who can often be quite but not a good one. Probably, proprietor (he’s really a mogul at this occasions, we should reintroduce a creative about their critiques, due to point, right?) finally live ram as our mascot. Back in the those fine Jesuit values imparted by opened Barnyard BBQ, halcyon days of Fordham, the school the Core Curriculum. Belmont residents’ had an actual ram on campus, from Campus dining is a daily horror show newest reason to hate 1925 to 1978. The live mascots that tests the limits of what college Fordham students. were discontinued because there student are willing to consume. Res Regrettably, I was were twenty-eight Ramses in fifty- life stands as a shining example of unable to attend its three years. The average life-span of the banality of evil. Hannah Arendt grand opening. The a Ramses was less than two years. couldn’t have imagined the cruelty line was too long and Several of these rams were kidnapped that college administrators could we heard the cover by rival colleges (back when we had inflict on unsuspecting students. But was $15, so no-go for teams that won the Sugar Bowl) and now let’s reflect, and take a look back night-1. But Night-2, I taken to the slaughterhouse. Another on some of the better moments from got in for free (don’t ask Ramses perished because he kept the year. me how, I don’t know), eating cigarettes and another was Think about it, a lot has happened but I hope prices will nicknamed “Fatty.” Ramses III was in Spring 2k19. Michael Cohen’s come down once a “very aggressive animal,” who letter, the high-speed chase through Barnyard recedes from would attack passing trains and campus, winning the Tinder swipe-off its current pedestal was executed by the Fordham Rifle contest (eat your hearts out, Cornell), Christopher. That supposed transcript into off-campus milieu. Executive Team (also, we had a fucking rifle Barnyard BBQ finally opening, that that was circulating was fake, but it Editor Gabby Curran said “it’s just team?!?!?). Perhaps the most tragic guy who “declined” to be robbed, was most likely accurate. like Goose, but bigger” (I was too lazy was Ramses XIX, who was kidnapped the apparent formation of a crackpot “NYPD has apprehended all to do any actual reporting for this). and dyed green by Manhattan College YDSA chapter (see Suresh’s article), a males at the RH campus,” read the The booths and bountiful space were students while Fordham students few snow days, and a bunch of other best Public Safety notification I’ve highlights; the overpriced drinks and attended Mass, which led to health stuff, aside from regular debauchery. ever received. I was in class for the “sleaze-bags” migrating from Goose complications and ultimately his We also still have the Juice Wrld duration of that infamous high-speed were not. death. and Charli XCX concert, plus Spring chase through campus. When we got One thing that the Tinder U Now that Fordham is no longer a Weekend (which would be much more the first notification, my professor challenge brought to my attention sports powerhouse, we should feel enjoyable without Sean Kingston), locked the door to our classroom was how many hardcore Juice safe enough to bring back a live ram to come. Also, not to forget our very “just to be safe.” When the video Wrld fans there are at Fordham, mascot. own Brett and Bryttneigh began their came out, I watched that video too particularly among the Gabelli bros. I april 17, 2019 the paper page 9 Starbucks is Killing the Planet By George Kite Thanks a lot, Howard Schultz Staff Trash Collector modern trash, and this year I went While, Fordham does take care to plastic in order to further prevent through many of the garbage cans recycle, though our recycling can environmental harm. This would solve People are all too familiar with along Rose Hill’s sidewalks, and let always improve. many of the garbage issues in a top- Starbucks, the largest coffee chain me tell you something: Starbucks was But the sheer amount of trash from down method. in the world. Wherever you are, there everywhere. Starbucks was also of no surprise. At Now, I recognize that Starbucks, is bound to be a Starbucks nearby. Plastic cups with fruity refreshers, numerous points in the day, typically as a private corporation, can do And we are all addicted to it; whether iced coffees, iced teas, and before classes begin and after they whatever they please with their it’s our daily coffee, a quick lunch Frappuccino were in nearly every end, Starbucks is swarmed with products. I recognize that yes; it is that isn’t fast food, a frappuccino on single trash can. Paper cups, straws, people, sometimes with the line going cheaper to have regular plastic cups a hot day, or you just crave a cup of out the door. I too am part instead of biodegradable cups. I tea or hot chocolate, you will most of this; I go to Starbucks recognize that people are still going to likely end up at Starbucks at least quite often, whether it is go to Starbucks regardless of whether once during the week. However, this for lunch or if I’m craving or not they are environmentally constant consumption comes at a a Frappuccino. It’s no conscious. price: destroying the environment. wonder that Starbucks is However, Starbucks does not Let me preface this by saying that valued around $14 billion. really have a good excuse for not every one of us creates huge amounts We are all aware of the being environmentally conscious of trash. We’re all detriments to environmental hazards and using biodegradable plastic. the environment. It is physically that plastic causes. We Starbucks can easily afford switching impossible to live trash free unless have all seen the Great to biodegradable to cups; it might you give up civilization. However, that Pacific Garbage Patch, even become more popular, as doesn’t make us bad people. Trash the six-pack rings stuck environmentally conscious products is just a product of society; we’ve on aquatic animals, and have more appeal than regular ones. been making trash since the dawn of the plastic bags blowing The amount of waste that Starbucks human civilization thousands of years in the trees. Bringing puts out would be greatly minimized by ago. It’s just that trash is different plastic wrappers, and paper bags your own Starbucks cup can help utilizing biodegradable plastic. Many now, mainly because of one thing: were in there too. But, I was most reduce that plastic use. However, places do not sort through their trash plastic. disappointed with all of the plastic I also acknowledge that we live to get extra recycling, and some don’t Plastic is perhaps one of the best cups. It felt awful knowing that busy lives and sometimes it just have recycling bins at all. Starbucks inventions of the 20th century. It is Starbucks produced so much trash, isn’t convenient, or even possible, could ensure, and maybe even create durable, waterproof, lightweight, can whether it be the Starbucks in Dealy to be environmentally friendly. It a precedent, for biodegradable plastic be molded into any form, is easy to or the one right outside on Fordham isn’t plausible to have our reusable and environmentally friendly policies. make, and is incredibly cheap. It is Road. Starbucks cup on us at all times. We, as consumers of Starbucks, everywhere: toys, medical devices, I will say that although these cups I believe that ditching plastic, though should make it clear that the cars, furniture, clothes, packaging, are a great waste, they were going very difficult, must happen. While it’s environment matters to us; and that and most significantly, bottles and to be recycled. Fordham pays to good to ditch plastic ourselves, the although we cannot stop the fact that cups. have their trash sorted for recyclable ultimate responsibility goes to the we will make trash, that our trash I was fortunate to be part of the material, so you would see many of companies and corporations that use should be environmentally conscious. 2019 Fordham Garbology Project, those plastic cups recycled, though a great amount of plastic, namely Change needs to not only happen which was conducted through the paper cups will not be recycled, Starbucks. I believe that Starbucks in our actions, but in the actions of Fordham’s anthropology department. although paper is biodegradable. should switch their regular plastic corporations as well. Garbology is the academic study of cups to be make out of biodegradable page 10 the paper april 17, 2019 Health Services is Pretty Much Useless By Anonymous I’ll feel better in two weeks don’t worry Staff Whistleblower ease this newfound suffering have weather, which discourages this trek covered seat waiting for the results. It’s pretty well understood that going been more or less useless. I want to even more. It will be negative. You might even off to college can be a stressful transi- take a moment to say that while I find Now, if you are one of the lucky few have strep, but the initial test will be tion, and it’s one that’s amplified the everyone who snagged a walk-in spot or could negative. Don’t worry though, because farther away from home you go. While working see through the haze of sickness long they’ll send it away for a “real” test, some of us felt more comfortable with in the enough to book an appointment, I can and let you know if you actually have the distance than others, the decision Health tell you almost exactly what is going to strep in approximately two weeks. to go far is not one without its unique Center to happen. At this point, reader, you’re probably regrets. Most notably, and most sur- be gener- First, you will sit in the aforemen- thinking, “what if I go to the Health prisingly, is when you get sick for the ally nice, tioned uncomfortable waiting room, Center for something other than strep first time. caring most likely surrounded by other dying throat?”. Doesn’t matter, you get a In hindsight, it is to be expected. people, students and wondering which one of strep test. They’re like freaking Oprah You are moving to a new environment, the sys- you WebMD would diagnose with the with those things. Headache? Strep surrounded by new people (and their tem itself leaves much to be desired. plague. Finally, you get called back; test. Sore throat? Strep test. Fever? unique brand of germs), all of which The first issue is the location of the nurse practitioner asks you the Strep test. Rash on the bottom of your you can’t get away from. However, Health Services itself. Now, maybe it’s standard questions and you think to left foot? Strep test. there is nothing quite as dishearten- just me, but the last thing I want to yourself, “I might actually get some In the end, they’ll probably recom- ing as feeling those telltale signs of do when I’m sick is hike myself from help here, maybe even start to feel mend you go buy some generic over- sickness. No matter how rundown, no-man’s land (aka the freshman better.” However, regardless of how the-counter meds at Walgreens and congested, or overall crappy you feel, dorms), practically all the way across you answered, you are told that they you’ll have the dawning realization you still have to deal with roommates, campus, to sit on an uncomfortable are going to do a strep test “just to that you would be better off waiting communal bathrooms and having to waiting room chair, only to be told make sure.” until you get the chance to stop by physically leave your bed (meaning that walk-ins are filled for the day and What this entails is having a well- your personal urgent care. But hey, at you have to put on some sort of social- then have to hike back. This is made meaning stranger swiftly gag you with least you know you don’t have strep! ly acceptable clothing) to get food. worse given that “cold season” tends a cotton swab and then sitting for 5-10 (Unless you do. Again, wait the two In true Fordham nature, efforts to to be accompanied by less-than-ideal minutes on the edge of your paper- weeks to be sure). Meet Fordham’s Newest Political Club, the Young DSA By Suresh Hanubal News Editor The Young Democratic Socialists of America State Their Case In the wake of Bernie Sanders’ submitted an application to OSI in late counterbalance to “The Pamphlet”. What do you have to say to critics 2016 Campaign for President in the February/ early March. It was started by Why did your group settle on the name who say that the YDSA represents Democratic primary and especially in Jack Dailey, Gavin Ross, Luke DeMonico, “The Goose Quill”; it is rather unorthodox “Champagne Socialism”? the aftermath of Alexandria Ocasio- and Hannah Truelson, all Rose Hill to say the least. The YDSA chapter at Fordham is Cortez’s (D-NY) election to the United juniors. The name derives from the first working on community outreach to all States Congress, Democratic Socialism What are the aims of this specific student publication at Fordham, which marginalized communities as stated. is seeming to enjoy its moment in chapter? What do you hope to was active in the 19th century. Through Mr. McClatchy could not point to a the sun. The DSA has seen a huge accomplish at Fordham? further research “the paper” found specific “working group” or initiative that upsurge in support for its ideals and a The YDSA chapter at this school that the original “Goose Quill” was addressed diversity or ethnic minorities. sharp increase in membership over the aims to participate in various forms of published under the pseudonym “Ham”. However, this could have been an past year. Even at Fordham, a Young student activism, educate students as In addition, a Fordham Ram article from oversight on his part. Democratic Socialists of America (YDSA) to what Democratic Socialism is, and be the mid-twentieth century described the When and where do meetings take chapter was formed at the beginning a force for positive change. The group is original publication as “short lived and place? of this semester. On 11th April 2019 working on a NarCan initiative, planning barely tolerated” The location changes place every “the paper” sat down with a member on publishing a literary magazine called Is it true that you call each other week but they take place every Thursday of the YDSA, Jack McClatchy, in order “The Goose Quill” and is working with “comrade”? at 9:30 PM. to find out more information on the PRIDE alliance to offer an LGBT+ ILC in To an extent, however we use it This article has been condensed for organization and its beliefs straight from O’Hare hall. somewhat ironically. The usage is more “the paper” print edition. A full version is the source. Below is a list of questions Speak to your “Goose Quill” initiative. in engaging with right wing criticism of available online at fupaper.blog Although “the paper” asked during this meeting Why is another publication necessary the socialist movement. “the paper” did engage in an interview and the YDSA’s (through intermediary in a school that already boasts “The I attended one of your meetings, and with YDSA member Jack McClatchy, his McClatchy) response to them: Fordham Ram” , “the paper” , “The noticed that you passed around a tip jar responses and our questions did not When did the YDSA chapter at Pamphlet” , “The Rival” etc… What new to raise money. What is the purpose of occur in the manner as stated above. Fordham begin? message will this publication bring that this tip jar? Both questions and his responses The YDSA chapter at Fordham began these other publications are not already The “tip jar” you are referring to is used were edited for clarity. In addition, “the this semester. It’s official Club Advisor stating? to raise money for purchasing activist paper” is unaware as to whether or not is Annika Hinze, an associate professor The “Goose Quill” will bring an materials. When the author of this piece Mr. McClatchy’s responses constitute in the schools Political Science objectively socialist point of view that attended a YDSA meeting the stated his own views or the views of the YDSA department. However, the club does is not represented through the other purpose of the “tip jar” at the time was organization overall. The author of this not have official club status with the publications listed. Jack further stated to raise money “for enacting Medicare piece also attended one YDSA meeting school as of yet, despite the fact that it that it could be seen as a kind of leftist for All”. in March of this year. april 17, 2019 the paper page 11 the paper’s view Ask Brett & Bryttneigh

The potential removal of Sean Kingston as the Spring Weekend headliner Giving advice to the Less Fortunate due to an alleged gang rape in 2010 has split campus into warring factions over the past week. Students advocating for his removal argue that to keep him would contradict the University’s Jesuit values and send the message Q: Do you think CAB should cancel Sean Kingston’s to survivors that their voices do not matter. Those on the other side have performance at Spring Weekend? argued that the allegations were not credible, and therefore removing Brett: What did I tell you? Political correctness will Kingston would be premature and unfair to students who want to see him come for everyone eventually if we let it. I mean, perform. On the one hand, the allegations were never proven; the case did not go eventually even innocent people will be getting to court and was settled for $5 million in 2013. At this point, it would be dif- screwed. This is why we can’t have nice things. Now, ficult for CAB to remove Kingston from the lineup. As he was never charged, we might not have anyone for Spring Weekend. We he did not breach his contract and they would still have to pay him if the performance is canceled. still have Whethan, but like who the fuck is that? Ap- On the other hand, Kingston has already had performances canceled at parently, some knockoff DJ Marshmallow. I watched Western University, Seattle University, and most recently, the University of one of his videos on YouTube and he was wearing a Connecticut. Keeping him on at this point would most likely be perceived giant-ass sunflower on his head. Bro, weird as hell. harshly after three universities have found the allegations against him prob- lematic enough to cancel his performances. Bryttneigh: I mean, I don’t really care. I’ll be wasted To me, this fiasco does not in any way suggest that those in charge of no matter what. They should just put “Old Town booking talent for Spring Weekend do not care about survivors of sexual Road” on repeat. I mean, we’re all here to get drunk, assault, and nobody should insinuate such. At the same time, I do question so what does it matter? We just need some good vibes the priorities of those who are overly outspoken in favor of keeping Kingston on. Whether it is the intended message or not, staunchly defending some- and some shooters snuck under our clothes and we’ll one accused of such an vile act comes across as tone-deaf and insensitive. be Gucci. At the very least, it is outrageous that the allegations against Kingston Q: How was Barnyard? were never considered seriously enough when booking him for Spring Weekend, and that it took a group of concerned students coming forward for Brett: I thought a certain Belmont mogul would be a them to be addressed at all. CAB looks to be in a no-win situation here, but bro and he’d let the squad cut the line, but apparently it certainly didn’t have to be. not. Same crowd, different venue. I loved the music. Jack Mo Bamba all night, bro, let that shit ring off. Well, this is the last time I’ll be writing one of these things. Our fear- Bryttneigh: It was alright I guess. The setting may less co-leader Meredith will return from studying medieval stuff in Spain in change, but they guys are all still fuck boys, if I’m the fall and take over as the author of the second paper view. I guess this being honest. What was really uncool was how over- would be an appropriate time to reflect on my first semester as executive priced everything was, cover and drinks too. An $8 editor, right? In the spirit of our deaditors’ pieces this issue, let’s do that. This semester has been wild, guys and gals and non-binary pals. vodka cranberry is a hate crime against white girls. As much work as it was, I’ve loved my time as executive editor of this fine The music was so not great, like at what point will publication so far and can’t wait to continue next semester. It’s allowed me bros get tired of listening to Sheck Wes yell expletives to become closer to the other editors who work on the paper in a way that I didn’t/couldn’t while I was a copy-editor. My closer involvement with the on repeat? paper, its inner workings and the final product of every production weekend has made me come to (gasp) actually enjoy spending entire Saturday morn- ings and afternoons in the print shop. I just realized if I keep going on like this I might end up accidentally writing a full-length deadit. So, to conclude, uh…something something Soulja Boy Sean Kingston something something. Thanks for the memes, friends, and see you all next semester. Gabby

Finally, it is with great sadness that the paper extends our most heartfelt sympathies to the family and friends of Fordham senior Sydney Monfries, who passed away on Apr. 14. Others will memorial- ize Sydney far more eloquently than we ever could, but our prayers go out to her and her family. page 12 the paper april 17, 2019

Juice WRLD Sparks Debate Over the Necessity of Vowels by Jack Archambault Jack is very upset about this... Editor-in-Chief that our own president tried recently some of the oldest languages in the somewhat speculative since they are This past week, the Fordham when he referred to Apple CEO world and include Hebrew and Arabic. preserved only as written languages, student body did something that Tim Cook as “Tim Apple”. Trump’s Semitic languages use root sets of but we do know that between 1350 was at once surprisingly inspiring, reasoning was quite similar to Kevin’s, consonants that typically come in and the 17th/18th centuries, there slightly pathetic, and painfully thirsty. as he tweeted, “I quickly referred to threes and make what is know as a was an event known as the “Great After reaching the finals of a Tinder Tim + Apple as Tim/Apple as an easy triliteral root. In Arabic, for example, Vowel Shift”. “swipe-off” to win a concert with Juice way to save time & words.” the root ‘k-l-m’ means “to talk or Beginning in southern England, WRLD and Charlie XCX (for more But since we converse”, the shift affected all dialects of the about this contest, see pg.6), we can all get the gist and from this language and resulted in a change did the impossible and actually won of what Kevin, and root words in the pronunciation of all Middle something. Trump for that are formed English long vowels (vowels that Depending on who you are and matter, are trying by filling in sound the same as their letter your stance on Tinder and today’s to say, let’s think vowels, so name). For example, the letter ‘i’ was music, this news may have been about what would that the word pronounced as ‘ee’, which morphed met with great excitement. On the happen if instead “kalima” into ‘ai’ as in ‘maid’, and eventually other hand, some may have seen of removing means “word”. became the sound we know today. it as the pronunciation of the death unnecessary A fluent Through this shift, some consonants of Fordham students’ sense of self- words, we speaker knows changed their pronunciation as well, respect, because while winning a followed Juice which vowels particularly those that are now silent, contest is cool, winning because you WRLD’s example are needed and it is also the main reason why have the highest percentage of Tinder and got rid of based on some English spellings are markedly swipes is, to be completely honest, those pesky context. S lt’s different than their pronunciations. just a smidge pitiable. vowels. Or rather, tr th sm thng fr While there is no scholarly But I was struck by the way Juice lt’s thnk abt wht nglsh. consensus on the cause of the shift, WRLD chooses to spell the back half wld hppn f w splld Did you get one common theory is that as the of his name. W-R-L-D. Despite the wrds wtht vwls. that? If you Black Death caused the emigration lack of the letter ‘o’, it is pronounced The phonetic definition of a vowel understood that as, “So let’s try the of many people to southeast England, “world”. Obviously, we can all infer that is “a sound produced with an open same thing for English,” you would be their accents mixed and created this would be how you’d pronounce vocal tract”. This is in contrast to well-suited to live in the post-vowel new pronunciations. Another theory his name. So, if we all know what he’s consonants, which have a closure at America Juice WRLD certainly dreams suggests that English nobility began trying to say, why even use vowels at some point along the vocal tract. lucidly about. But while it is difficult to speak English rather than French all? How important are vowels, really? Linguists say there are currently to imagine an English language at this time, and they changed Anyone who has ever seen The around 6,600 spoken languages devoid of vowels, English has a rather certain pronunciations to distance Office will remember the episode in the world. In nearly all of these interesting history with vowels as well. themselves from the French. titled “The Incentive”, in which Kevin languages, all words contain vowel The English language can be divided Whatever the cause was, remain Malone decides to save time by sounds. These sounds, however, are into three general stages, Old English vigilant now. What begins with Juice using fewer words when he speaks, sometimes implied and not written (~ 5th century to 11th century), WRLD removing the ‘o’ from his name reasoning, “Why waste time say lot out. Middle English (~11th century to late could end up as the next Great Vowel word when few word do trick?” Take Semitic languages for instance. 15th century), and Modern English. Shift. And the last thing we need is It’s an interesting tactic, and one Originating in the near east, these are Studies of Old and Middle English are another unnecessary sequel. april 17, 2019 the paper page 13 Everything is Awesome Right Now in Entertainment by Zahir Quader If you’re looking for something to watch, we’ve got good news Features & Lists Editor and the second half of The Chilling everything about it is amazing. It is edgy things in a post-apocalyptic Sup peeps its medium-sized Z here Adventures of Sabrina. SHAZAM!, the best series of our generation and wasteland. Who will they fight? How to tell you about why this month is an was a fun film described as Big meets everyone is super excited and going will they survive, and all the other CW awesome time for movies and TV. April superpowers. Creating a fun film for nearly insane waiting for this show post-apocalyptic stuff. started us off the returns of Veep and everyone to enjoy. The Tick while to premiere. This season has high This month of April was full of Barry. Two amazing shows about two lesser known is still a good time and hopes for all its fans. much content from small-town amazing people. We have Elaine from a great way to kill an afternoon. The Following the Thrones, we slow karate to heroes traveling through Seinfeld running the country with her Chilling Adventures of Sabrina is a fun down for a bit and we come to the space and time to accomplish their faithful sidekick Buster Bluth and an show imagine the CW’s Riverdale but premiere of a fun light-hearted goals. As things ramp up with finals ensemble of other wacky and semi- with dark magic and other borderline karate show Cobra Kai. A fun show approaching and all the other chaos likable characters. Follow that with HBO themes. about what happened thirty years that follows everything else. TV and SNL’s own Bill Hader as a loveable Next on the List, we get one of after Danny Larusso beat Johnny movies are amazing in the Month of hit man being guided on his dream of my personal favorites and just plain Lawrence in the Karate Kid film. April. There is so much going on and being a famous actor by none other cool (disclaimer I wrote this before By the 25th of April we get one of the so much to see. I highly recommend than the Fonz himself. I saw the reviews). Hellboy starring premieres of the best movie on the you make time to see at least forty Next on the “List of Awesome” David Harbour as the titular Hellboy list of awesome Avengers Endgame percent of this content because it we got Cloak and Dagger returning this film has great potential with its the final struggle against Thanos is just straight up amazing. We truly for a second season. Follow yet fun and exciting story that is sure to begins, will the Avengers prevail and live in a golden age of television and another coming of age story of two impress all who see it. bring back all the friends they have right now is the golden month. I urge star-crossed teenagers as they fight Following this fun trip is probably lost? Check in on the premiere date anyone who can check out any of the against racial, social, and regular the one thing everyone is looking to find out. great content coming out this month injustice as well because they are forward to most of all. The premiere Finally, to end the month we because everything right now is just #WOKE. of the final season of Game Of lighten things up again with another awesome. Friday the 5th gave us a trip with Thrones. Everyone knows Game of CW show The 100 this season will several gifts of SHAZAM!, The Tick, Thrones is freaking amazing and bring us back to edgy people doing Spring has Sprung...Let’s Celebrate! by Noah Kotlarek Shout-out to FUSE for being all around awesome Copy Editor Hindu celebration, like the vibrant ended, an exchange student gave a you walk to class take a moment Recently campus has begun to leaves and flowers on the tree, is short speech about the significance to stand under a magnolia tree, realize its true beauty. Spring is here, filled with color. Celebrants throw of the holiday. Then students returned look straight up, and enjoy how the colleagues! Thanks to the change in handfuls of dry paint powder onto branches appear to form cracks on weather and the current time of rest each other and people smear their the clouded sky peppered by the between the end of midterms and companions’ faces with the powder. pink flowers. This simply joy has the the beginning of finals, campus has Clouds of red, blue, purple, orange, power to make your day a bit better. become a much more pleasant place and yellow floated across Martyr’s Appreciate the beautiful work of the to be. A walk outside reveals the glory Lawn. The afternoon was filled with maintenance staff and gardeners. of nature. The magnolia trees have shared laugher, smiling, and good In front of McGinley, next to the bloomed, showering the wavy green cheer. For nearly two hours we ran gymnasium is some phenomenal grass in petals of pink and white and up and down the lawn, scooping up landscaping. The yellow daffodils, filling the air with a sweet but light fistfuls of powder. Food was also hidden deep within planting bed fragrance. Between Hughes Hall provided by the club, naan, biryani, behind the other flora flare out like and Dealey, the maintenance staff chola, samosas, and aloo ghobi lined to their dorms to shower themselves golden trumpets. And the grass on has planted densely packed flowers the tables. There was also a magical off, rinse out their powder filled ears, the Rose Hill lawns itself is a work to along the pathway and the fountain creamy beverage called mango lassi. and replace their contaminated behold. The deep green waves are a has been turned back on. With the Wow! It may even be better than contact lenses. But, it was all worth portrait you can sit on. coming of clement weather, student eggnog and guanabana. Neil Khilwani it. Returning to the dorm caked in a This Spring, seek out art where it culture at Fordham can shine. describes the beverage, “it’s a lovely ridiculous amount of powder was all may not be evident. Often, we only Last Friday afternoon, the Fordham drink and reminder of my home and part of the fun. In sum, Fordham’s see art as a manmade work. That is, University South Asian Entity (FUSE) culture.” This lassi in and of itself is Holi was a real treat and I highly we see a piece of art. I challenge you hosted a Holi festival, which marks art. Someone took the time to select recommend you attend it next year. to see art in something that hasn’t the start of Spring, the triumph of and measure the ingredients, like Whether it’s the soft colors of the already been labeled as art. good over evil, forgiveness, and a painter selects acrylics, so others flowering trees or the vibrant ones of thanksgiving for a good harvest. This could enjoy. After the color throwing Holi, art is alive at Fordham. While page 14 the paper april 17, 2019 Horoscopes Imperator: Rome Hyper The Signs as Artists We’d Rather Have for by George Kite Can we get an Ave in chat? Spring Weekend Staff Gamerboi Macedon, Phrygia, Egypt, and are certain positions in your Paradox Interactive, a strategy the Seleucid Empire all vying government that need to be filled, Aries: Pitbull aka “Mr. game company, will be releasing for Alexander’s greatness. The like your advisors. You choose Worldwide” their newest title “Imperator: Celtic tribes of Gaul, Iberia, and your advisors and generals from Give yourself a nickname when Rome” on April 25th. This highly Britannia feud against each the ruling families in your country. no one else will. anticipated strategy game comes other. The Phoenician Carthage Some families are more powerful from a long line of other strategy has created a powerful and than others and will try to take Taurus: Timeflies games, like Crusader Kings 2, thriving trade empire. And on the you down if they’re unhappy Be careful what wish you for Europa Universalis 4, Stellaris, river Tiber, a small state known or if they grow too powerful. cuz you just might get it :/ and Heart of Iron 4. As a fan and as Rome set their sights on their Gemini: Avril Lavigne’s avid gamer of Paradox games, longtime rival, Etruria. However, Warfare is a major part of the Doppelganger I can safely say that Imperator: what might happen in the game game. War is played out by We know the truth. We know Rome is something that I am can be anything but historical. building units of military troops in what you did. There’s no hiding extremely excited for, I hope you Perhaps Rome will never become your country. When you’re at war now. will be, too. an empire, or Alexander’s empire with someone, you control where For those who are not fans of becomes reunited. Anything and your troops go, and you can either Cancer: Black Eyed Peas Paradox games, I should preface everything will happen. fight the enemy troops or take will.i.am more like will.u.stop this article by saying that these You play in this time period as your enemies’ territory. Generals games are not for the impatient any nation you wish, whether it’s can determine whether you win Leo: Jason Derulo and easily bored. Paradox games powerful Rome or Carthage, or or lose a battle. In addition, What’s your name again? are intense strategy games; a fledgling tribe on the borders what kind of terrain you fight on they’re really only fun when of civilization. When you play also plays a big role, especially Virgo: Owl City you learn them, which can take as a country, you control its for who is attacking and who You will not believe your eyes. many hours. However, once you diplomacy, finances, military, and is defending. A major and new You will not believe your eyes. get past that learning curve, government. You, as a country, aspect of this game is the fact You wouldn’t not believe your these kinds of games become control provinces on the map. that what kind of troops you have eyes. incredibly fun and addicting. Like, Each province has a population is determined by your resources. Libra: Carly Rae Jepson seriously addicting, because with and resources specific to Iron is needed for heavy infantry, Shoot your shot this week guys these games nothing is the same that province. Your power is horses are needed for cavalry, gals and nonbinary pals. - they are practically replayable determined by your size, wealth, and so forth. The only way to build in every sense. Though some are armies, and population. You troops that require resources you Scorpio: My Chemical in a sense “historical”, how your make your own alliances, declare don’t have is to trade for them. Romance (rip) game goes and how the AI you your own wars, and spend your This game is immense - in It’s never “just a phase.” compete against goes will create own money how you want. both its size, complexity, and scenarios that are anything but Managing your country is a vital versatility. It’s multiplayer too so Sagittarius: Usher history. Though the game has aspect of this game. Your country you can enjoy it with friends. As a Lil John (yeah Man) yet to be released, Paradox has always has a leader, whether its longtime fan of Paradox games, divulged the contents of the a monarch, a consul, or a chief. I can say that this might just be Capricorn: Nelly game and showcased the game You, as a country, have certain the crowning achievement of who? on Twitch streams, which I have points that let you do things. For strategy games for a long time to viewed and studied in order to example, you have civic points come. It looks really well polished, Aquarius: Nickelback make accurate statements about that let you pass new reforms, but of course, I won’t set my Look at this graph... the game. diplomatic points to assert expectations too high for launch Pisces: Miranda Let me set the historical scene claims over neighbors, military - many Paradox games flopped Cosgrove for Imperator: Rome. You start points to appoint good generals, on launch only to become great People may have made fun of the game in 304 BC, 19 years and religious points to give your games with later updates and you in 2012, but honestly, you after the death of Alexander blessings of Greek gods. You’re DLC to the game. The game itself slap. the Great. Alexander’s generals not alone in ruling your country - comes out on April 25th. Since rule his former empire, with you have to have help, and there it’s a brand new game, don’t april 17, 2019 the paper page 15 Why I’m Trying to Kick My Friends’ Asses in Fighting Games Events by Christian Decker King of the Ring News Editor What: Spring Week show a hundred different moves, not to suffers from poor recovery. What really I got into video games at a young - Beehive, Bethlehem mention learning all the combos and grated me though, is that he almost age, perhaps when I was 7 or 8. I Steel, and Reality TV launches that go into a fighting game. always kicked my ass, and still does to remember my first gaming system was In that game, I screwed around with a this day. I tell ya, day after day of losing Where: Rodrigue’s a Gameboy Advanced SP. I loved that lot of different characters but mostly to one of the cockiest fighting game Coffehouse thing; I remember playing my first ever found myself returning to Marshall and players I’ve ever met will start to break game, Pokémon Fire Red, all the time. When: Tuesday, April Forest Law, a martial arts father and a dude. All the same it pushed my If I recall correctly, my first fighting 23rd son duo who practice a style of martial drive to learn how to play other fighting game was Shrek Super Slam, which arts that bears striking resemblance games if only just to kick Andres’ ass How much: Free was basically a kind of Smash Bros to Bruce Lee. At this point in time I in them. Why: See some super game in which all the Shrek characters beat the shit out of each other and I’m cool bands and support not gonna lie it was pretty addicting. a student band to There was, of course, the flash game kick off your spring my younger brother and I played weekend(ish) festivities! sometimes called Capoeira Fighter in which we both had absolutely no idea what we were doing, but it was quite What: Rosencrantz and the fun game, nonetheless. Guildenstern are Dead I think the first “real” fighting game Where: Collins I played was Mortal Combat Vs. The Auditorium DC Universe. The story itself was quite interesting, with the Mortal Kombat When: Friday, May 3rd & characters trying to fight against Shao Saturday, May 4th @8pm Khan and the DC characters trying to and Sunday, May 5th fight against Darksied. I remember the @2pm first time I played it with my brother, How much: Free we got so pissed off at each other and honestly, that was pretty horrible. Why: Last chance to see Competitive games will do that to you, your very talented peers but we quickly got over it. I remember really wasn’t focused on learning all I’ve now taken up learning Tekken 7, perform theater! Check having to go online to look up the the move sets and combos because I trying to learn the pro-wrestling jaguar- it out! fatalities of the different characters in was in middle school and had no time headed fighter, King, inspired by pro- the games which was fun because they for such things. In fact, I still barely gamer Lil Majin’s run at the previous were kind of a secret and they didn’t What: An Evening with have time for such things. EVO tournament. As well as Tekken, give them to you in the game. In all My recent resurgence into learning I’ve looked into the anime style fighting Jen Liu honesty, the game’s controls were so different fighting games comes from games, Guilty Gear Xrd Rev 2, playing Where: Monday, April 22 wonky and clunky, and it really didn’t playing Smash Ultimate with my old as the katana-wielding pirate, Johnny, tell you how to play the game all that @7pm-9pm roommate Andres. I gotta tell you, he’s and Blazblue Crosstag Battle, playing well. But if that game did anything for When: MoMA really good at that game. He helped as the switch-blade slice-and-dicer, me, it was to forge a lifelong curiosity How much: $8 me train quite a bit with getting used Hazama, and grim reaper, Gordeau, and interest in fighting games. to all the different nuances of Smash, encouraged by my friend Rob, who Why: Jen Liu is a The next game that I seriously like tilting, edge guarding, air combos, has been a lifelong fighting game New York–based picked up was Tekken Tag Tournament and the like. I play a few different connoisseur. I hope to play the new 2. I think I bought it on a whim one artist who uses characters consistently, Young Link, Mortal Kombat game when it comes day when I saw it in a Target and just video, choreographed the medium sized Zelda protagonist out later this month. thought it looked really interesting. with both quick and mighty attacks, The competition and satisfaction performance, and The game had such a massive roster Ganondorf the notorious Zelda of learning to play these games, and painting to explore of characters. Some of them, however, antagonist, who hits very hard but also beating your friends in them is were “mirror” fighters, meaning that national identity, lacks speed and recovery, and, exhilarating. I’m still improving and they had the same move sets as gendered economies, probably my best character, Wolf, working on my technique, but I hope one or more of the other characters. from the Starfox game series, whose to be able to get better and be more and the remotivation of This was pretty helpful considering move hits hard, and is agile, but again consistent. archival artifacts. that each character can have over page 16 the paper april 17, 2019

Queen Clur Ends Her Reign Atop Fordham’s Free Speech Journal By Claire Nuñez Deaditor-in-Chief Oversharing is what the paper is for, right? Goodbye, the paper. It has certainly lots of tooling around in the print shop. with my dear friend, Colleen. The two I love them lots. There’s your new been a ride with you. I joined your I love all these people and it always of us had to be the fearless leaders fearless leader, Jack, who is just funky little cohort of writers my first warms my heart when I get to see them of a group of quirky and incredible rocking the game right now. And my semester. It was you or The Ram and editors. We beauty queen, Liv who should not hate I am so thankful I dragged one of my worked together mushrooms. Annie who is way too cool new friends to McGinley 2nd that a lot and we were for me. Christian who is Catholic, but crisp Tuesday evening. My first article excited to set up Black Metal is his life. Andrew who just for you was a critique on growing up our own “brand” hates my music taste. Marty who just told through the shifts in Miley Cyrus’ for you. When I always makes the best banners. David career. It sounds entirely pretentious returned to you who is a serious sweetheart. Katelynn and it probably was, but the Editor-in- from Amsterdam, who is downright hilarious. Gabby who Chief at the time Zoe said she loved it. I found so many is the literal sweetest meme queen I’ve And that was it. I was in love with you, new faces on ever met. And the most brilliant human, the paper. my team. It was Robin who is just so smart and kind. My time with you became central certainly a bit All of these new cool beans editors are to my time at Fordham. I made plans daunting, but I so smart, creative, funny, and wacky. I around you. My weekends were know that working can’t believe how lucky I am to have met almost always spent with you. We and training them. It was certainly stressful being spent so much time hanging out in the these kiddos a single EIC in charge, but I was able disgusting McGinley basement and we was so worth to work with some incredible people. I made some incredible friends along the it. I had my old felt comfortable with these kiddos and way. I think I value these friendships reliable team of every single time I see them online or far more than I appreciate you, the Hillary, Meredith in person I laugh or smile. Again, I am paper. Now, don’t get me wrong, we and MJJM (well, so incredibly thankful for them. There had some pretty great articles, covers, somewhat is no one else I would want to leave you and designs, but these people are truly reliable for this to than them. great. sloth). I knew I It is time that I really wrap up my Look at all of the deaditors I’ve could count on goodbye to you, the paper. I am not worked with. I am so thankful for Ali these incredibly really sure if or when we will meet and Zoe that first semester because talented and again, but I will surely stalk your without their support, I probably hilarious people. I Facebook page and keep tabs on your would’ve left. They gave me so much will certainly miss Instagram. It has been real. It has guidance on my writing and helped me making fun of my been fun. It has been real fun, but now craft such thoughtful pieces. Then, favorite character it is time that I move on to bigger and I worked with Siobhan and Kelly and from Ice Age brighter publications. Knowing all of my goodness, that was such a joy. I and laughing at these current editors, I know there will love Mom and Dad-- they taught me literally anything be some kick-ass covers and serious how to be an awesome section editor again. I wouldn’t have met any of them Meredith says and doing just super criticisms of the world around us. I and how to get things done. And lest without you, the paper. You brought us funky and art-y things with Hillary. wish you all the best and I am excited we forget Luis and Looby. This was together. As for the new eggs, I am constantly to see what new editors will do with you such a fun time full of paper parties at Now, I must say my favorite era with so proud of the work they do. You in the future. Rachel’s, gossiping with Michael, and you was when I was an Editor-in-Chief brought me to them, the paper and april 17, 2019 the paper page 17 the paper’s Beloved Judy Rides Off Into the Sunset By Hillary Bosch She retires to pursue Mike Pence...romantically Opinions Deaditor write. Sure, we at the paper take this you both. Gabby, you’ve come so far I wish I could say I decided to write communication platform to our peers from the freshman I used to know to a for the paper for something important; seriously, but it’s also so freeing to be true STAR and I love you so goddamn a higher purpose, a call to defend free able to write whatever you think is worth much. To Colleen and Claire, my spirit/ speech and democracy, memes… talking about, from Veggie Tales to fashion/art/feminist icon, you held the But no, I joined the paper because I queefs to gushers to environmentalism. paper together when everyone was on thought a guy in class was nice and he A higher purpose doesn’t have to be their bullshit, which was all the time. wouldn’t shut up about it, so I assumed serious or significant, it just has to be You are natural leaders, and should be they must be nice, too. In April of important enough to challenge you to so proud of what you made. sophomore year I finally stumbled do better, and boy did I write a lot of second act. I can’t go a day without To my beloved Bob, the time has come into a meeting one night and met the good shit. Good, but also crazy. reading the news now or listening to for us to part. Mike Pence eventually editors and writers. They were nice, but It has been such a joy to work the dulcet tones of Michael Barbaro remembered what he was missing they were also crazy. alongside such nice and crazy people. or Dan Carlin, and I blame/credit and I’m off to have a sexy yet troubled Though I wrote for them on a whim, For the last two years, the paper has you entirely. To Rachel and Declan, life with a white Boomer physically joined the editorial staff for fun, and been such a constant good thing to thank you for making me feel like I indistinguishable from you. It’s been a co-Edited the Opinions section to look forward to. As an active member of had something worth writing about. lot of fun, Jack. Get ‘em this year. To hang out with people I love, I think I two theatre groups on campus, theatre You went out of your way to help me Meredith, Christian, and Suresh, y’all did find that higher purpose after all. productions are quick, stressful, become the dork I am now and I know are the reason I have literally any faith Like many college newspapers we read hectic, and a lot of fun, but often times I would have been worse off without in humanity, no pressure. I’m already about now in history books, the paper it feels like they’re over as soon as they you. To MiChAeL jAcK and David, you so impressed with what you’ve done offers the opportunity to think above start. But the paper? Nah. the paper is opened your apartment and Rolling with the paper, I can’t wait to see what and beyond, to write candidly. eternal. A state of mind, state of being. Rock for me; that’s kindness if I’ve y’all think up next year. To fellow paper Most of the time what comes One must become a meme before they ever seen it. I feel like we’ve made a peeps I’ve pretended to work hard with, out of this journalistic candor isn’t make their first meme. good bit of this journey to our senior it’s been a pleasure serving with you. groundbreaking writing, but rather fun To Luis and Nick, thank you for deaths together, and I can’t think of a Go forth and stir shit up, the world things to read that were fun for us to welcoming me in halfway through the time when I wasn’t so happy to be with needs it. Robin Takes Flight, Leaves the paper’s Nest By Robin Happel Copy Deaditor Robin is smart for real. Take that, honors advisor There’s a saying in the tech industry I felt less like a llama and more like a Most of all, the paper taught me here all four years. We may not always that if you’re not paying, you’re the person. the paper gave me a voice on that you don’t have to be perfect to try know exactly what we’re doing, but I product. The summer before my a campus that consistently told me I something new. One day, I just started could have never asked for a better freshman year, my parents warned had no right to protest when honors covering UN policy. Since then, I’ve bunch of people to help me figure me that as a scholarship student, professors started ranting about how seen the Secretary-General speak it out, or just unearth deeply buried Fordham would likely see me as a much they hated my gay friends, or in person, something I never could memories of Veggie Tales. I have petting zoo llama, a toy for the Bretts how the government secretly controls have imagined was possible. I was so absolutely no idea where we’ll all be and Bryttneighs of our campus to see inspired by diplomats from Fiji in five years, but I’m so excited to find how the other half lives. and other island nations I met out. My fellow editors are already so In my very first meeting with my through my reporting that I talented. For those pursuing writing honors advisor, she implied that I actually applied to law school, careers, it will be amazing to keep flirted with professors for my grades, and I’m happy to say I’ll be reading your work outside our grungy because she doubted a girl from attending one of the only law McGinley basement. I never expected my background could be “actually schools in the country that to enjoy my time here so much, and smart.” But this isn’t the story of works with the Small Island because of that I’ve learned to hope someone finally marring the Catholic Developing States group at for the best a bit more. Church’s flawless record on taking the UN. Without the paper, I The honors advisor who assumed sexual harassment seriously. And this might never have discovered I flirted with my professors is now a isn’t the story of all the other times that passion. high-ranking member of the faculty I forced myself to swallow what I It would be easy to senate. She’ll probably hate this wanted to say, because being kicked say that the paper changed article, and I probably don’t care. Like out of honors would throw off my five- my life because of the doors other administrators, she prefers that year plan. it opened for me, but even I get her permission before saying the paper is a little inane, in many more than that it changed anything about her in print. But what’s ways. We once spent almost an entire the weather. For a long time, the my perspective. I don’t always have the best that can happen? She might weekend blaring the Wii soundtrack paper was one of the only tolerant to wait for permission, or plan it all kick me out of honors, and I should looking for hidden messages. (Sadly, places I could turn. (Plus we did out. Even though I joined relatively have left years ago. we didn’t find any.) But it’s also one get John Kerry to tell us where the late, I feel so much closer to our other of the only places on campus where weather machine is!) editors than some people I’ve known page 18 the paper april 17, 2019 David Thinks Back on His Time with the paper By David Kennedy And you thought we were just a goofy free-speech publication Copy Deaditor of the biggest things I learned working when I didn’t have very much to do I came to the paper on accident. I on the paper was how to collaborate anymore. think it was the second semester of my on a creative project. I quickly found I’m sort of just going over the sophomore year, and the guy who had out that if I was in the print shop and educational value of the paper here, agreed to be my roommate was already I made a joke that was funny enough and that’s because I think it’s an an editor. For some reason he thought in a voice that was loud enough, there underrated publication. I get the sense I should be involved, so he badgered was a chance it would end up in print. that there is a perception among me about it until I finally agreed to Aside from fixing spelling errors, and professors that the paper is ‘not as go to the print shop one production deleting unnecessary commas, most of serious’ as other student publications. weekend. The group was immediately my contributions to the paper involved semester brought with it an influx of Whereas I think they all fulfil the same welcoming, and they quickly put me to additions and suggestions regarding barely legible articles from brand-new function: giving undergrads a place to work as a regular copy-editor. Weekly other people’s photoshops. I would say freshmen, and my job as copy-editor practice writing. It may not be the most meetings and production week-ends things like “that picture for News would was to cut them up and paste them official-looking student newspaper, went into my routine, and the other be funnier with prison bars on it,” or back together until they were decent. but things like the paper exist so that editors were soon enough my friends. “put a picture of a goat-legged Satan I’m not exempt from the learning-curve students can experiment with tone and I was part of the group even though saying ‘go Rams’ there” and it would go by the way, my first couple of articles try writing things they like for the first I rarely volunteered to actually write in the paper. were incredibly messy looking back. time rather than things they’ve been anything. Within a year the official I also got to watch writers have This taught me (at least I hope it did) assigned. Whatever seriousness there ‘copy-editor’ position opened up, and I their first experiences writing for a to have some sensitivity for a writer’s is about a student paper only comes got picked to fill it. publication, and the massive learning- voice and intent, which needed to be from the work and care students put I’m still not particularly proud of very curve that came with it. For plenty of preserved even while I was making into them. We took the paper seriously much that I wrote for the paper. Although contributors this was their first time dramatic changes to the piece itself in that we wanted to publish something I think some of my articles were decent writing something that anybody other just for clarity’s sake. Then I’d get to we liked, and that we could be proud (particularly the later ones), I’m still than a teacher would read. As such, watch these writers (the ones who of. Sometimes it’s good to take your more proud of the work other people there was a lot of initial stumbling. It came back) improve until they hardly jokes seriously. did that I edited or contributed to. One seemed that the beginning of every fall needed my help. It was a good sign Goodbye to an Iconic Children’s Cartoon By Michael Jack O’Brien Executive Deaditor Michael Jack “Michael Jack” O’Brien Bids Us Farewell Well shit, this is my stop. It’s been a together by balsa wood and spit, but every second of it. girls on the face of the Earth, not alot long ride hasn’t it? it didn’t matter, because at the end There are too many people to thank of people can deal with my insanity Freshman year of my time here of the day I knew it would be worth from my time at the paper, because but you guys made being locked in at Fordham was interesting to say it, time slows down when you’re in the paper isn’t just a publication, a freezer every two weeks worth it. the least. Formative yes, but lacking the print shop, and suddenly you find but was the very thing that defined Thank you to Jack and Meredith for actual direction. I was just going yourself staring at an article about the my time at this school, it made me taking the reigns of the paper, I know through the motions: go to class, go pros and cons of mango consumption friends, and made me a writer. But it will be safe in your hands. You two to parties, rinse, repeat. I remember and it becomes the most important let’s try to do a short list. are fucking hilarious and I wouldn’t one moment specifically that I looked want anyone else to run this crazy at myself in my dorm bathroom at train. Thanks to everyone on the crew 3am and asked myself “Is this really that was there when I first started. it?” Well, no, it wasn’t, but I wouldn’t Declan, Kelly, Siobane, Looby, Nick, really know that until my next year, Rachel, and of course, Luis fucking when I met a plucky group of nerds Gomez. You guys are a treasure and who every two weeks put together a made these years the best they could newspaper. After picking up a copy have ever been. To everyone on the of the paper, I was taken aback by its paper and to those that will be, you’re irreverent humor, its cover, the fake the best and I love you. You might ads. I kept reading, and said out loud think you don’t belong anywhere, “Wow, this is terrible! Where do I sign but it’s not true, you belong here, as up?” long as you get your godamn articles Little did I know that this small in on time (sarcasm). Anyway, this is pamphlet of opinion pieces and where I get off. Hope to see you again memes would come to define the someday. next three years of my life. The people I swear Jack if you put a picture of a I met, the friends I made, the articles sloth here I will find you. I wrote were my life. Sure! Every other weekend was spent in a cold thing in your life. To say that I needed Thank you Claire and Colleen MJJM basement in a student rec center held that is an understatement, and I loved for being two of the hardest working april 17, 2019 the paper page 19 Colleen is Burning Up From All These Feelings! Gross! By Colleen Burns An A+ writer and A+ kickball player. We <3 our student-athletes Deaditor-in-Chief what’s going on in the world. I learned the peeps. Siobhan and Kelly, thank I could NOT have handled the paper When I came to my first meeting to pay more attention to politics and you for making my first year at the (and also just life in general) without for the paper, I was a freshman and current events, just so I could keep paper so warm, welcoming, and fun. Claire Nuñez. My co-EIC and literal rock, clearly clueless. I saw the paper at the up with group conversations. I learned I MISS Y’ALL. Luis, thanks for being a I love you, and I know we’ll stay friends winter club fair and assumed it was the to think more critically because there legitimate journalistic role model to me. for a long time. MJJM, who even are school paper, or essentially The Ram. you? I hope you create Executive I didn’t know there was a difference Editor-type positions wherever between the two publications or even life takes you. Major thank you that there were two publications! EIC to all the editors who made this Siobhan very kindly explained to me past year’s publication the best how the paper works and what’s up yet: Hillary, David, Robin, Jack, with The Ram (thanks homie). Meredith, Gabby, Olivia, Annie, Looking back, I really think freshman Andrew, Christian, Katelynn, and me was actually more suited to work Marty. I’m so incredibly proud of on The Ram. I have a type A personality the endless work and love you and love some good organization and have put into this publication. You structure. The Ram is all of these made our special edition, Sex, things; the paper is none of these Drugs, and Everything the Jesuits things. the paper is a chaotic group Don’t Want You to Know, possible! of personalities and opinions that Thanks for putting up with me last somehow manages to barely pull off semester, and may you never have a pretty cool and engaging publication to feel my wrath again. five times a semester. I’m not cool. Some of my best memories at But there was something about Fordham are with these paper that first meeting for the paper that people. I will forever associate left an impression on me, so much so Estrellita’s, anything Marvel, the that I felt like even just checking out Wii song, people named Bob, and an introductory meeting for The Ram people named Judy with the paper would be a grave betrayal. I think the people. No shade to The Ram, fear of betrayal came from the sense but I’m so lucky my freshman of community I witnessed at that first cluelessness brought me to the meeting. paper. I would not have become And wow did I find such a weird and the same person or made such great community. This crew made incredible friendships. I love this Tuesday night meetings in McGinley would always be a paper pal who could Looby, thanks for forcing me to create a publication and will always be a fierce 2nd (and being kicked out of McGinley squash an argument with a totally valid bulletproof argument that ghosts exist. supporter and reader of Fordham’s 2nd), paper parties, paperfests, point I never considered. So yeah, I’m Shoutout to other deaditors who made only free speech and student-run KICKBALL, and production weekends still not cool, but I’m a better person. my time with the paper exceptional: paper. Gross! More feelings! actually fun and worth it. The paper Gross! Feelings! Rachel, Michael, Declan, Scott, Nick, pals taught me to actually care about I guess this is where I thank all Matt, Anna, and Reyna. Thanks peeps. page 20 the paper april 17, 2019 In Honor of Game of Here are some Songs of Fire and Ice

Fire Burning - Sean Ice Ice Baby - Vanilla Ice Kingston Cold as Ice - Foreigner Hot in Herre - Nelly Under Ice - Kate Bush We Didn’t Start theFire - Let It Go - Idina Menzel Billy Joel Baby It’s Cold Outside - pick Ashes to Ashes - David your duet, everybody has sung Bowie it Playing With Fire - She’s So Cold - The Rolling BLACKPINK Stones Picture to Burn - Taylor Let it Snow - pretty much Swift everyone Fire - Bruce Springsteen Coldest Winter - Kanye West Burnin’ Up - Jonas Broth- ers Here are the Premire Dates for Each Episode this season 4/14, 4/21, 4/28, 5/5, 5/12, 5/19 april 17, 2019 the paper page 21 Lists

Winter is Over But the Magic has Just Begun Like all humans I’m excited Sea Gurl doubles as the perfect spot Dragon Tales for the premire of Game by YA Gurl to seduce sailors. I also think a Fine Young Man of Thrones that happened I have pretty nice mermaid on Sunday (I wrote this on What mythical creature am I, curls. At least that’s how it I would have to be dragon. Saturday) and am hyped you ask? Probably a mermaid, seems when I look at my Dragons are just badass, and to the max. I wanted a because they’re like super reflection in the foggy mirror in DnD, they are intelligent, way for everyone else hot and get to swim around after my shower. Not Megan like myself. I just want to fly to express their nerdy in bras all day. I mean, what a Fox when she rings her wet around and set things on glee so I asked them this double standard—when Ariel hair out in “Jennifer’s Body,” fire and just eat people’s question. Which Mythical doesn’t wear a shirt, she but close enough. Watch out livestock whole. It would be creature are you? becomes the focus of a kid’s boys! the most fun thing ever. I movie, but when I do it, it’s can become the overload Ghosts “inappropriate” and “subject Call of Shoggoth of a small village in Upstate by Someone Spooky to a fine.” This is an attack by H.P. Lovecraft VII New York and make all the on women everywhere and I inhabitants bow before me. I would be a ghost. No, they am not okay with it. I paid 80 I would definitely be a Dragons also can be loyal to do not exist, and they are bucks for my bra at Victoria’s Shoggoth so I could forever their friends, which I am, and more of a myth than most Secret, and I should be able serve by eternal master have been featured in many “mythical” creatures like the to show it off to everyone if I Cthulhu, Great Old One of stories, like myself, although Loch Ness Monster (possibly want to. Gosh! the Abyss. Yeah, I mean I not published stories. real), Phoenixes (very real), would be a giant mindless and the Basilisk (I own one). Woot Woot slimy amoeba with a bunch Ice Cold I’ve been taunting ghosts by a Siren of eyes all over my body, by The Night King for years, saying things like, but I’d get to be within the “Ok ghosts. If you’re real, I’m definitely a siren. For realm of Cthulhu. Like, how I would be a white walker come haunt me!” Nothing. starters, I have a terrible cool is it to be buddies with because, I am pale, have There are only three possible singing voice, like the kind a being so powerful trying to bright blue eyes and am explanations: ghosts don’t that can drive people crazy. comprehend him makes you always cold. I lead an army of care about defending their But my womanly charm insane? Like, I know I’d be undead ice zombies (Twitter honor, ghosts are afraid of makes up for it tenfold. I can’t a mindless slave, but like, I followers) on my quest me, or ghosts do not exist. I’ll swim for shit either, that’s LOVE Cthulhu so like this is mysterious quest because accept either of the last two, why you can find me flopping my dream, OK? Please don’t I am the coolest person you but I think we all know the around on a sea rock in an kinkshame I love him so will ever meet. right answer is the third one. attempt to stay afloat. This much. page 22 the paper april 17, 2019 “Old Town Road” Lil Nas X, Billy Ray Cyrus Andrew Millman

Enter the Realm Iced Earth Christian Decker

The time: three in the afternoon last Sunday. The place: Bro’s Hill, top balcony. The song: “Old Town Road” Anderson .Paak a deceased artist in a song about how by Lil Nas X featuring Billy Ray Cyrus Ventura to move on, especially in the wake of ringing off from the speaker. The latest Jack Archambault Nipsey Hussle’s death. one-hit wonder to grip the Fordham Paak also features Motown darty crowd is a country-trap hybrid legend Smokey Robinson on “Make It with an infectious beat and compelling Better,” which also deals with themes hook. of love and moving on. “King James” Watching from my perch high pays homage to LeBron James for his above the scene, I was able to witness social activism and perseverance in the collective yell-singing of “Imma take rising above the challenges he has my horse down an old town road, gonna met throughout his life. It is, for my ride till I can’t no more.” Lil Nas X went Iced Earth have a unique money, the best song on the album, from a Nicki Minaj twitter stan account sound in the heavy metal sphere. and pays service to James and other to having the number-one song in the Their vocals blend a hard rock sound black athletes who use their voices to country. However, a few weeks prior, with the power and drive of most influence positive change. Billboard controversially removed the heavy metal artists. Their guitar is of “Make It Better” and “King song from its country charts because classic heavy metal origin, but the riffs Before you do anything else, James” are the biggest hits on the it was deemed insufficiently country can be so uplifting as to invoke power go to YouTube and watch Anderson album, Ventura is an enjoyable listen, (fuck that). metal, the same could be said for the .Paak’s NPR Tiny Desk Concert. He even if many of the songs might not Billy Ray saw that and got vocals as well. This is true of their sits comfortably at the drum kit, hitting necessarily stick with you for a while on a remix, lending his country bona more recent work that I’ve listened sixteenth notes on the snare in perfect afterwards. fides to the song. And let me tell, you too. If I had listened to Enter the rhythm, singing without missing a lyric, listening to Hannah Montana’s dad Realm first, I’m not sure I would con- and smiling all the while like he’s on Favorite Track: “King James” rap-singing about Fendi sports bras is tinue to listen to music by the band. a billboard for Crest. It serves as the an experience. Billy Ray floated on that This is not to say that it’s a perfect introduction for Paak: suave, beat. The song is short, but sweet. Lil bad EP—it’s pretty decent. The guitars ultra-talented, and aware of both those Nas X raps about “riding on a tractor, sound thrashy with chugging riffs and things without revealing arrogance. lean all in my bladder,” somehow electrifying solos in some of the songs, In his newest album, Ventura, uniting archetypal themes of both but it feels a little subpar. It is com- Paak returns to the mellow beats country and rap. “Cowboy hat from pletely possible that this is because and soulful crooning that he veered Gucci, Wrangler on my booty” does these songs are original recordings. slightly away from on his last album, similar work. The thing that mostly bothers me is Oxnard. Ventura feels down-to-Earth If Lil Nas X can bring together the vocals, half the time you can’t and introspective. It features a few big rap fans and country fans around a understand what the hell he’s saying. names in hip hop, such as Andre 3000 shockingly good song, maybe this While this can work for death metal, and Nate Dogg on “Come Home” and country isn’t irredeemably divided after it doesn’t work for just straight heavy “What Can We Do?” respectively, which all? One can only hope. From that Bro’s metal. In addition, the vocals are really also happen to be two of the better Hill balcony anything seemed possible grating. It sounds like Rob Halford or songs on the album. On the latter, when there’s a Nicki Minaj stan singing the guy from Exodus on Bonded by Paak includes the deceased Nate Dogg a country song that can get a giant Blood. I don’t know what the singer on a song that explores how to move crowd to yell in adoration. does later on or if they changed the forward after a relationship comes to vocalist but my god it sounds ten an end. It feels timely, too, to feature times better. april 17, 2019 the paper page 23 Nevertheless, the songs blues, and rap templates, which have feels much more mature than her pre- weren’t incredibly bad. “Iced Earth” been proven to work. This is not to say vious albums. While her genre focus has a really creepy spoken word part the album feels cheap or recycled. It is remains pop, the album lacks the fun that fits well with the aesthetic of the in fact a quality work. of pop music. A lot of the beats in the Sad Songs for Sad songs and the guitar work is superb. I “Damn” combines the songs were just slow enough to make also really dig the acoustic break with smoothest groves, rock and blues listeners focus in on the content of “Solitude,” providing some of the sig- vocals, and hardest hitting rap verses her lyrics, more than the sound of the Bois nature softer sounds of Iced Earth’s on the album. It’s cool and the snaps music itself, yet fast enough to feel guitars later. and claps provide it with a great almost danceable. march and energy. The themes present in this Favorite Track: “Iced Earth” The album is diverse, “Sista” album are self-reflective, as is a lot is definitely a groovy rock and blues of her work. However, this album is track, but complemented by various seems to feel much more raw and folk elements. It’s slow and sweet open than previous albums. With and reminds me of an OutKast track Love, it seems that MARINA really as well as “Santa Baby.” The song is wanted to cut through the metaphors about looking out for family members and wit she’s used in the past to and being on the same side during describe her feelings and, instead, lay sad times. Novel’s I Am… (Future them flat out on the table for all of us Black President) deserves to be to see and understand. listened to and since it is so short it Whether or not she succeed- won’t take up much of your time. This ed in her endeavor to appear more All Out of Love - Air I Am...(Future Black President) laid back cross genre piece of art is mature and express herself in much Novel calling you. more raw sense, for me, it’s hard to Supply Noah Kotlarek say. I’ve been a big fan of hers for Favorite Track: “Sista” about six years now, and I will always support what she does, even though All By Myself - Celine her style has changed dramatically since The Family Jewels era. However, Dion I found this album to be a bit of a bor- ing listen. I wanted more of her wit, seen in her older albums, or at least Everbody Hurts - more lyrical creativity. Nothing really stood out to me in this album, at least R.E.M. not right off the bat. That being said, when she first releasedFroot . I felt the same way. It’s entirely possible that My Immortal - Love will grow on me. As of right now LOVE it breaks my heart to admit I’m not Evanescence MARINA entirely impressed by it. Less than a month ago, the Katelynn Browne paper staff was asked by the univer- Favorite Track(s): “Orange Trees” + “To Blue Eyes Crying in sity to clear out the print shop as it Be Human” was cluttered with dozens of stacks of the Rain - Willie Nel- old newspapers posing a fire hazard. When we got around to cleaning up son the shop we had no idea we’d discover a much greater fire hazard. Paper readers, I present to you Novel’s 2008 Bad Day - Daniel hip-hop album: I Am… (Future Black President). Powter At first glance the album ap- pears like it will be a tired knock off of stereotypical 2008 rock and blues River - Leon Bridges by John Legend, Pharrell Williams, Mariah Carey, Common, André 3000 and the like (which are clearly influ- On April 4, MARINA, formerly ences). But in reality, it’s a pleasure known as Marina & the Diamonds, Back to Black - Amy to listen to. There is rap, blues, jazz, dropped the first part of her fourth rock, and folk all seamlessly wrapped studio album, Love + Fear. The second Winehouse into one. Part of the success of I Am… part of the album, Fear, is expected to (Future Black President) is the fact be released on April 26. Right off the that it relies on typical and safe rock, bat, the overall sound of the album page 24 the paper april 17, 2019