University of Montana ScholarWorks at University of Montana Graduate Student Theses, Dissertations, & Professional Papers Graduate School 2002 Call of spirit. William Homestead The University of Montana Follow this and additional works at: https://scholarworks.umt.edu/etd Let us know how access to this document benefits ou.y Recommended Citation Homestead, William, "Call of spirit." (2002). Graduate Student Theses, Dissertations, & Professional Papers. 5554. https://scholarworks.umt.edu/etd/5554 This Thesis is brought to you for free and open access by the Graduate School at ScholarWorks at University of Montana. It has been accepted for inclusion in Graduate Student Theses, Dissertations, & Professional Papers by an authorized administrator of ScholarWorks at University of Montana. For more information, please contact [email protected]. The University of Montana Permission is granted by the author to reproduce this material in its entirety, provided that this material is used for scholarly purposes and is properly cited in published works and reports. **Please check "Yes" or "No" and provide signature Yes, I grant permission __ No, I do not grant permission __ Author's Signature: Date: *7 ____________ Any copying for commercial purposes or financial gain may be undertaken only with the author's explicit consent. 8/98 The Call of Spirit By William Homestead B.A. Rutgers University, U. S. 1985 Presented in partial fulfillment of the requirements for the degree of Masters of Science The University of Montana May 2002 Approved by: erson Dean, Graduate School 5 -3 \-O X Date UMI Number: EP41018 All rights reserved INFORMATION TO ALL USERS The quality of this reproduction is dependent upon the quality of the copy submitted. In the unlikely event that the author did not send a complete manuscript and there are missing pages, these will be noted. Also, if material had to be removed, a note will indicate the deletion. Dissertation Publishing UMI EP41018 Published by ProQuest LLC (2014). Copyright in the Dissertation held by the Author. Microform Edition © ProQ uest LLC. All rights reserved. This work is protected against unauthorized copying under Title 17, United States Code ProQ uest LLC. 789 East Eisenhower Parkway P.O. Box 1346 Ann Arbor, Ml 48106 -1346 Homestead, William. M.S., May 2002 Environmental Studies The Call of Spirit Director: Don Snow The Call o f Spirit weaves together three narrative styles—personal narrative, interview, and critical exposition—in order to explore personal callings within the context of spiritual and environmental ethics. The personal narrative provides an example of spiritual searching and finding, and explores the desire for meaning in a postmodern age. The interviews provide examples of ethical activism, and thus how ideas and ethics are actually lived. And the critical exposition explores important ideas and ethical debates relevant to listening to and following a calling. This thesis argues that religious experience, contemplation, and critical rationality contribute to an environmental ethic. More specifically, I argue that imagining a transcendent dimension, which is also immanent and grounded in mystery, opens us to multiple modes of knowing that gives us a fuller understanding of reality. This fuller understanding then leads us to engage our potential and our current environmental ills via ethical forms of activism. To support this argument, I explore many examples of lived ethics and callings, including peramaculture, hunter-gatherer existence, forest activism, vegetarianism and veganism, teaching, eco-therapy, parenting, and daily mindfulness. “How can we become more folly human and at the same time be saved from the fate of being merely human? Where is Spirit in this God-forsaken, Goddess-forsaken world of modernity? Why are we destroying Gaia in the very attempt to improve our own condition? Why are so many attempts at salvation suicidal? How do we actually fit into this larger Kosmos? How are we whole individuals who are also parts of something Larger?” — Ken Wilber Table of Contents Introduction Chapter One The Bottom Drops Out Chapter Two Spirit Unfolding Chapter Three What is a Calling? Chapter Four Brent Ladd’ s Story Chapter Five Syndee L’ome Grace’s Story Chapter Six Andy Mahler’s Story Chapter Seven The Farther Reaches Chapter Eight Openness to Mystery Chapter Nine Letting Go, Brent part II Chapter Ten Deep Listening, Syndee part II Chapter Eleven Love in Action, Andy part II Chapter Twelve The Habit Body Chapter Thirteen Silence Speaks: An Interview with Rafael Catala Chapter Fourteen Home Introduction This is an unusual book. It combines personal narrative, critical exposition on mysticism and environmental ethics, as well as interviews with four individuals on their life-paths and calls to various forms of ethical activism. I honestly didn’t plan to include my own story. I’ve already gone down the personal narrative path in an earlier book and hoped I was done using that style. But criticisms from fellow participants in a writing workshop that I was holding back, along with my own sense that I shouldn’t refuse to expose myself since that’s exactly what I have asked my interview subjects to do, led me away from an academic writing voice and towards a more vulnerable one. But before I go any further let me make a declaration, even if it’s only for my own sake. My life is nothing special. I survived existential struggles, became a spiritual searcher, wandered and worked as a factory worker, waiter, printer, landscaper, and bookstore clerk, eventually taught college as an adjunct instructor at Purdue University (adjuncts are poorly paid “guns-for-hire”—it’s like being in a ditch in front of the first rung of the academic ladder), and I keep trying to write even though it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever tried to do. But that brings me to the one thing I do give myself credit for:—I’ve stubbornly followed my inner life, my path to leam, teach, and write. Fortunately, I also have some special stories to share. My interview with Brent Ladd explores his more than two years living a hunter-gatherer existence. Syndee L ’ome Grace discusses her five years as an animal rights activist in Washington, DC. Andy Mahler reveals insights from his many years as a forest activist. And Rafael Catala shares his experiences teaching the relations among mysticism, personal growth, and the creative process. But my interview subjects also share much more than what they’ve done. They share how their life-paths have unfolded, including their deep struggles, spiritual experiences, and calls to express who they actually are. The ideas and style of this book have unfolded over a period of six years. The writing has been an odyssey for me, with many missteps and false starts, and thus it thoroughly reflects my learning process. I chose the combination of personal narrative, exposition, and interview because I’m convinced that stories make ideas more interesting, as well as more deeply felt. Following a calling demands that we integrate multiple modes of knowing and stories help to elicit this integration. Readers should be prepared, however, for a bit of a roller coaster ride. The writing was an odyssey and I suspect the reading will be as well. Rest assured that the ideas and styles will also integrate and the ride will be worth the taking. My goal in writing is to further legitimate callings, spiritual experiences, and ethical forms of activism. We know quite a bit about jobs and careers in our techno­ industrial cultures, but far too little about listening to deeper impulses and then following where they lead. This wouldn’t bother me, except for the fact that this failure to listen puts our own health and the health of the planet in constant jeopardy. Now don’t get me wrong. Jobs and careers are meaningful for all kinds of reasons—including paying the bills and putting beans on the table. There’s also no need to be overly serious. Following a call requires equal amounts of purpose and play. I love struggling to write. It gives me deep satisfaction, especially since 1 know that books have the potential to inspire others to follow their callings. Chapter One The Bottom Drops Out “Life is essentially a drama, because it is a desperate struggle—with things and even with our character:—to succeed in being in fact that which we are in design.” — Jose Ortega y Gasset “To be completely honest with oneself is the very best effort a human being can make.” — Sigmund Freud After seven years, three New Jersey colleges, and four majors—computer science, business, liberal arts, and communication studies—I, the late-blooming narrator of this highly subjective tale of spiritual insight, was on the verge of receiving my passport to a money-making future: a Bachelor of Arts degree from a respected, quasi-Ivy League university. There was only one problem. I was breaking down. It was the Spring of 1985, at Rutgers University, and I was twenty-five years old. I took seven classes, twenty-one credits, in order to finally graduate, and worked thirty hours a week as a room service waiter at a local Marriott hotel. “Roooom service,” I bellowed, over and over, while knocking on room doors in brown polyester pants and vest, ruffled white shirt, and shiny bow tie. My job was to play the role of happy employee whose joy in life was to deliver insanely overpriced food to the daily influx of business clientele. This clientele always seemed happy to see me, especially since they charged their fifteen dollar Marriott burger and imported beer to their expense account, and then probably spent the evening with the hotel’s selection of soft pom.