U.S. Postage Paid at Williamsburg, Va.

VARIETY: UCAB’s street festival offers food and games, page 7 SPECIALPECIAL SECTIONECTION: Learn about hot Reviews: travel spots for fall ‘Thunder’ wimpers, page 10 break SPORTS: Outdoor club explores, page 14 SEPTEMBER 23, 2005 VOL.95, NO.31 THE STUDENT NEWSPAPER OF THE COLLEGE OF WILLIAM AND MARY SINCE 1911 http://flathat.wm.edu BOV approves City of Williamsburg widens Richmond academic plan Road in effort to ease traffi c congestion BY MICHAEL J. SCHOBEL freshman class — approximately FLAT HAT NEWS EDITOR 1,350 students — but would ac- cept approximately 160 addition- The Collegeʼs Board of Visi- al transfer students, especially tors unanimously passed a six- those from Virginia community year academic plan during last colleges, as well as students en- Fridayʼs session. The academic rolling in graduate programs. plan is part of a three-pronged Graduate enrollment would in- effort by the College to meet the crease by 175, but there would commonwealthʼs requirements be an emphasis on business and for the restructuring initiative to education students, as well as move forward. those focusing on the sciences, Provost Geoffrey Feiss made professions of which, Feiss said, a presentation to the Board out- the commonwealth is in need. lining the basic goals of the aca- This point prompted a debate demic plan. Feiss, a key architect when Board member Lawrence of this strategy, worked on it S. Eagleburger said that he was throughout the summer and held concerned that the College was forums this semester at which being complacent in regard to students and faculty could give its liberal arts program, which he feedback. said sets the College apart.

The goals Feiss enumerated “If the College does exactly ALEX HAGLUND ✦ THE FLAT HAT include increasing some types what the state tells them,” Eagle- The City of Williamsburg and VDOT are working on a $6 million project to expand the stretch of Richmond Road between the intersections of Brooks of enrollment, promoting afford- burger said, “[it is] going to run Street and Bypass Road by 12 to 16 feet in order to alleviate rush-hour congestion. City offi cials said they expect work to be completed by Dec. 1, 2006. ability, offering a broad range right down the wrong road.” of programs, maintaining aca- President Gene Nichol indi- BY JENNA ECKARDT future. VDOT is refunding Williamsburg said that the construction is being demic quality, maintaining the cated that the liberal arts program THE FLAT HAT The project was authorized by $4.5 million and has taken control done close to campus, specifi cally Collegeʼs high student retention would remain strong but that the the Williamsburg City Council in of the project, classifying it as major along Richmond Road between the rates, developing closer ties with science programs must be built Students traveling down Rich- 1995, but was postponed because of roadwork. intersections with Brooks Street the Virginia community college up. Nichol added that what he mond Road in Williamsburg may delays associated with an archeolog- In 2002, a part of the project that and Bypass Road. According to the system, continuing economic de- fi nds most unique about the Col- have recently noticed some new ical review, redesign and contractor involved burying power lines was VDOT website, the current con- velopment, increasing research lege versus the rest of the “Amer- construction along the way. This bids that were too high. Although completed. This phase of the project struction will occur in two phases. opportunities and maintaining ican academy” is the relation be- construction is the fi rst part of a the project was originally budgeted caused three businesses to be dis- The fi rst phase involves the replace- ties with primary and secondary tween faculty and students. project that will redesign a section at $3.5 million by the Virginia De- placed: Chanelloʼs Pizza, Schmidt ment of the storm water drainage schools. “The interaction between of Richmond Road in order to alle- partment of Transportation, the es- Florist and Master Cleaners. These system and widening Richmond Regarding enrollment, Feiss faculty and students is almost viate congestion. While it may be timate has increased to $6 million. businesses all moved to other loca- Road by 12 to 16 feet. The second said that the College would an inconvenience currently, city of- The contractor chosen for the job by tions on Richmond Road. phase will repave the stretch of See BOV ✦ page 3 maintain the current size of the fi cials said it holds great potential for VDOT is Branscome, Inc. Construc- Dan Clayton, public works di- See CONGESTION ✦ page 3 improving the traffi c situation in the tion was initiated by the city, but rector for the city of Williamsburg, SA passes bill granting $1,150 Data indicate meal purchases extra funds to class of 2008 down this month at Marketplace

BY HEATHER KEELON Richmond for a football game. “Bring them in. Letʼs hear what protests about inconvenient meal THE FLAT HAT The bill was heavily debated on they have to say. If theyʼve been suc- usage. many angles but centered on the cessful, letʼs appropriate the money, “I donʼt like you having to en- At the Student Assembly Sen- breaking of budget procedure and but if not, turn them away,” he said. courage me to use my block plans ate meeting last Tuesday, the sen- opening the possibility of other or- Phillips also pointed out that at the newly renovated cafeteria,” ate opened with the swearing in of ganizations asking for additional money put into the consolidated re- wrote one student. four new senators from the Class of funding. serve fund is from budgeted money In addition, many students 2009: Matt Beato, Stephanie Glass, Senior Sen. Harry Godfrey, the that clubs did not use. “[This] means brought their grievances directly Kimberly Walters and Jeanette Snid- only member of the senate to vote clubs arenʼt using money weʼve giv- to DiBenedetto. Student As- er. Although it was their fi rst senate against the bill, was skeptical. en them. I donʼt think the majority of sembly President junior Ryan meeting, the new additions to the “My main objection is that I re- clubs are going to come back to us Scofi eld was petitioned by many senate body made their presence and and say, ʻwe need more money.ʼ” students to call for a return to the opinions known. “My main objection is that With the exception of a few ac- old plans, but he and DiBenedetto After the senators for the Class I really discern between tivities such as Daily Grind Days, both said they agree that students of 2009 were inducted, the Class of what is good, what the sen- the majority of events organized by should try to acquaint themselves 2008 reached a milestone by pass- ate did here tonight, and the Class of 2008 last year were open with the format before changes ing the 2008 Compensation Act to the entire undergraduate commu- are made. after months of debate. The bill, what is just.” nity. “I have noticed that a number — HARRY GODFREY, introduced last April, asked for an “If we give money to anyone, we of people are unhappy with the

SENIOR SA SENATOR additional $1,150 for the class af- ✦ should give it to these guys. They current plan, some of which may IRENE ROJAS ✦ THE FLAT HAT ter they asked for only $900 out of have run many great events. The owe to the fact that they donʼt all Preliminary data from Dining Services indicate that purchases of a $533,000 budget, due to their un- ally discern between what is good, class is putting on events that help completely understand it yet,” meals at the Marketplace have fallen 30 percent this month. familiarity with the budget process. what the senate did here tonight, and benefi t students from across all four Scofi eld said. The sophomore class was very ac- what is just. I believe in doing what classes,” junior Sen. Scott Fitzgerald BY BRIAN MAHONEY Though many students feel He added that if student re- tive last year, sponsoring events such is just,” Godfrey said. “If we believe said in favor of the bill. THE FLAT HAT inconvenienced by the lack of sponse is still largely against the as Daily Grind Days and the Black in going about this in a fair manner, Freshman Sen. Matt Beato said meal options at some locations, plan by the middle of the se- and White semi-formal. Recently, that ensures that everybody has a fair that although he was not present last Alterations to the Marketplace Resident District Manager Phil mester, he will actively pursue a they funded a bus ride for 35 fans to say in the budget process. I suspect year, he had “looked at nearly every Dining Hall in the Campus Cen- DiBenedetto insisted that the change. the Tribeʼs football game at Virginia that weʼll be asked for additional bill that the senate passed.” He said ter were initiated this semester, school could not afford them. “If, in the next few weeks, Military Institute. funding again. We should better edu- that most of the bills dealt with in- including new retail selections “Dining Services pays a com- we decide that most people are This year, the Class of 2008 plans cate people on the budgetary process. ternal affairs, which he didnʼt think and longer hours of operation. mission to [Aramark],” DiBene- against the new plan, then we to have three more major events, in- Thatʼs something to look into, and I would interest students. However, The most controversial change, detto said, citing that added funds will most defi nitely begin work- cluding Club 208, which will be sim- think thatʼs the larger issue.” the sophomore classʼs three planned however, is the elimination of from Flex Points were necessary ing with Dining Services to make ilar to the Black and White, a Battle Sophomore Sen. Brett Phillips, meal options for students with to use the retail brands on cam- some changes for next semester,” See SA ✦ page 3 of the Bands and a fan bus ride to who presented the bill, disagreed. block meal plans, which has led pus. Scofi eld said. “It all depends on many students to call for a return Students criticized the elimi- the response we get.” to last yearʼs plan. nation of meal options for block It still remains uncertain if New to the Marketplace are a meal plan users at non-corpo- changes will me made for next se- Jump Asian Cuisine and a Star- rate areas such as the grill, deli mester, but DiBenedetto alluded bucks Coffee location. “The C,” a and pizza stations. The change, to the possibility of change, ac- convenience store open weekdays which took effect this semester, knowledging that Dining Servic- from 7 a.m. to midnight, was also added Flex points to block meal es is sometimes mistaken about added. plan usersʼ accounts while cutting the wishes of the student body. Many students said they were meal options. One reason for the “Maybe itʼs something that happy to see the new additions to change, DiBenedetto said, was they donʼt really want,” DiBene- the dining hall. to draw students into the newly detto said, referring to the changed “I think they do the best with renovated Commons Dining Hall block plans. “This was what we what theyʼve got,” senior Bren- and University Center Center thought was the best move at dan Ehlers said. Court Dining Hall. the time. Do we make mistakes? While diversifying the student “We want students to eat in Yeah, and if we make them, we menu, the new retail options also these dining rooms,” DiBene- try to fi x them.” generated criticism from students detto said. DiBenedetto said that changes regarding meal options. Student response, however, will not be made until next se- “Itʼs not cool how they added a suggests that many still wish to mester, when fi nancial consider- new place and made it Flex only,” utilize the Marketplace with their ations and student responses are junior Kristen Simonson said in meal options. Comment cards evaluated. reference to the Jump Asian Cui- displayed in the Campus Center “Three or four weeks into a

✦ sine station. “Thereʼs no reason; detailed the extent of the back- NICOLE SCHEER THE FLAT HAT See MEAL ✦ page 3 Sophomore Sen. Cait Smith, senior Sen. Nate Eberfeld and junior Sen. Sean Barker all voted in support of the itʼs staffed by the College.” lash. Many of the cards contained bill to provide $1,150 additional funds to the class of 2008, allowing the class to host programs for all classes. QUOTATION of the week I am kind of paranoid in reverse. I sus- INews NSIGHT pect people of plotting to make me happy. J.D. SALINGER NEWS ✦ SEPTEMBER 23, 2005 2 “ WWW.QUOTATIONSPAGE.COM ” Inside this week’s issue Beyond the ’Burg ✦ NEWS IN BRIEF ✦ Spectroscopy lab celebrates grand opening ✦ NTERNET RELATIONSHIPS I The Nuclear Magnetic Resonance Spectroscopy Lab celebrat- FLOURISHING AMONG STUDENTS ed its grand opening Sept. 16 in Small Hall. The lab will be in-

ARIETY volved in the study of physical properties of solids, and it houses three magnets, including one of the largest 17.6 tesla magnets in V (U-WIRE) NORMAN, Okla. — Senior Amber Kelly from the country. Applied science professor Robert Vold and physics the University of Oklahoma, didnʼt set out to become part of a professor Gina Hoatson co-direct the lab, which began experi- close circle of friends when she started posting on Sooner Infor- ments in June. The Rec Center’s fi tness and wellness division is offering mation Networkʼs message boards. a free program for students interested in improving their “At fi rst, I went to the boards to amuse myself when I was Supreme Court preview discusses current issues physical health. bored, but now that Iʼve gotten to know a lot of the other people See HEALTHY, page 9. who post there, I stick around because itʼs like hanging out with The 18th annual Supreme Court Preview at the Collegeʼs Mar- friends,” Kelly said. shall-Wythe School of Law on South Henry Street will begin today Hanging out online led to in-person meetings, Kelly said. with Linda Greenhouseʼs presentation on her latest book, “Becoming She said there are typically two groups of “SINners,” or regular Justice Blackmun” at 3 p.m. A moot court argument begins at 6 p.m. SIN posters: one that meets in the Oklahoma Memorial Union Tomorrow, activities resume at 9 a.m. weekly and one that meets periodically off campus. National journalists, lawyers and legal scholars will discuss many SIN, along with other message boards and connection sites issues, such as the future of the Supreme Court after the resignation such as Facebook.com and Xanga.com, have changed the way of Justice Sandra Day OʼConnor and death of Chief Justice William EVIEWS people relate to one another. These online social directories have Rehnquist. The constitutionality of a law requiring colleges and uni- R become this generationʼs worldwide singles bar and gossip hot versities that receive federal funding to allow the military to recruit spot all on one computer screen. Young people can meet each on campus will be discussed through a moot court case. other and monitor their friendsʼ relationships, moods and activi- Find out if Devenda Banhart’s new CD “Cripple Crow” is Virginia21 begins new program to promote voting worth listening to. ties with the click of a mouse. See , page 12. “You always know when people break up because they will CROW immediately change their status on The Facebook to ʻsingle,ʼ” Virginia21 announced the beginning of a student voter registra- physical therapy junior Lacy Edwards said. tion campaign called “Swing Generation” Sept. 20. The campaign Facebook.com has become so pervasive on college campuses will target students at Virginia public colleges, and it will provide students with absentee ballot forms. that if two students begin dating, their “coupledom” is consid- “Itʼs clear that young voters are quickly becoming Virginiaʼs ered offi cial only once they post it the site. ʻswing generation.ʼ Young voters are becoming an important part of “One of my friends had been dating someone for a while, running a campaign for statewide offi ce,” Executive Director of Vir- and then one day I went on Facebook, and it said they were ginia21 Jesse Ferguson said.

PINIONS together,” junior public relations major Kellie Foster said. “And then I was like, wait a second, this is serious.” Conference at College to discuss parentage law O Thomas J. Burns, sociology professor, said online directories can sometimes cause people to package themselves in a certain A conference entitled Task Force Roundtable: Reforming Parent- Over the next half-hour, I inched closer and closer to way. age Law will be held Sept. 30 and Oct. 1 at the Collegeʼs Marshall- the rabbit, until we sat just a yard apart. … And then “Online dating might reward and emphasize different charac- Wythe School of Law. The conference is designed to give profes- came the cops. teristics than in the here-and-now,” he said. sionals an opportunity to discuss reforms to the laws regarding how See BUNNY, page 5. He said sites such as Facebook.com open up new dating pos- newborn children are assigned to parents. Registration for the confer- sibilities for young people. ence is free and open to the public. — By Kelly Ann McColm, Oklahoma Daily (U. Oklahoma) — compiled by austin wright — compiled by austin wright Friday Saturday Sunday

RTS O

P WEEKEND S WEATHER High 96 High 83 High 87 Volleyball breaks the scrawny necks of the University of Low 69 Low 66 Low 69 Delaware’s Blue Hens with a 3-0 win. See VOLLEYBALL, page 13. Source: www.weather.com

ed to furniture at the University Center. The estimated cost of damage was $200. 4 3 — A student was referred to the admin- 2 istration for alcohol consumption in James LINE 11 Blair Hall. 5

N 6 7 — Four juveniles were turned over to 1 their parents after allegedly trespassing near O the Matoaka Boathouse. 6 — A student was injured at Yates Hall 10 when a bathroom stall door fell off its hing- Didn’t get a copy of this week’s special travel section? es. The student sustained minor injuries to Don’t have any plans yet for fall break? Travel to The her foot. 7 13 Flat Hat’s website and download your copy today to 4 Monday, Sept. 19 — An elderly female read about great places to visit in Virginia and around 12 was reported injured by falling down the the country. steps at the Campus Center. 8 See http://fl athat.wm.edu/ — A studentʼs vehicle was reportedly 5 broken into and vandalized in the Theimes Parking lot. The estimated damages were PINIONS PAGE ✦ ARIETY PAGE O , 5 V , 7 9 $900. 9 REVIEWS, PAGE 10 ✦ BRIEFS, PAGE 12 ✦ SPORTS, PAGE 13 Tuesday, Sept. 20 — Larceny of a license POLICE plate of a studentʼs vehicle was reportedly com- 8 mitted at the Common Glory parking lot. The EAT estimated cost of the item was $20. 10 B — A student was charged by the Virginia State Police for allegedly failing to yield to a police car on Campus Drive. 11 — Larceny of a bicycle was reported at Friday, Sept. 16 — An individual reported- vidual was referred to the administration for Madison Hall. The estimated value of the ʻStabilitas et Fidesʼ ly committed breaking and entering at the Adair underage possesion of alcohol. 2 bike was $200. 12 25 Campus Center, The College of William and Mary, Williamsburg, Va. 23185 construction site, causing $50 worth of damage. — A student was referred to the adminis- — Graffi tti vandalism was reportedly ✦ ✦ Editorial Dept. (757) 221-3281 Advertising Dept. (757) 221-3283 Fax (757) 221-3242 Nothing was reported stolen. 1 tration after allegedly being drunk in public committed at the Muscarelle Museum. The The Flat Hat — fl [email protected] ✦ Managing — [email protected] ✦ Executive — [email protected] News — [email protected] ✦ Variety — [email protected] ✦ Sports — [email protected] Saturday, Sept. 17 — An underage stu- and for allegedly having underage posession estimated cost of the damage was $50 for Reviews — [email protected] ✦ Opinions — [email protected] ✦ Briefs — [email protected] dent was injured while allegedly drunk in of alchohol at Gooch Hall. 3 clean-up. 13 Calendar — [email protected] ✦ Advertising — [email protected] Stephen Carley, Editor-in-Chief public at the Fraternity Complex. The indi- Sunday, Sept. 18 — Damage was report- — compiled by austin wright Whitney Winn, Managing Editor ✦ Virginia Paulus, Executive Editor Demetria Penix, Business Manager ✦ Nam Ly, Ads Production Manager Daniel Grady, Accountant

✦ Michael J. Schobel, News Editor ✦ Allie Veinote, Asst. Photography Editor STREET BEAT : ✦ Alejandro Salinas, Variety Editor ✦ Ashley Baird, Margaret Hoffecker, ✦ Christopher Adams, Sports Editor Copy Chiefs What issues should the SA tackle this year? ✦ Kyle Meikle, Will Milton, Reviews ✦ Danielle Espino, Online Editor Editors ✦ Nate Burgess, Graphics Editor ✦ Natalie Ronollo, Opinions Editor ✦ Nate Loehrke, Graphics Editor, Sex ✦ Lauren Bryant, Photography Editor Column Cartoonist ✦ Joshua Pinkerton, Andy Zahn, Asst. ✦ Justin White, Editorial Cartoonist News Editors ✦ Austin Wright, Insight Editor ✦ Max Fisher, Asst. Variety Editor ✦ Sarah Kalin, Jeff Dooley Production ✦ Louis Malick, Asst. Sports Editor Assistants

Letters to the Editor and Opinions columns are due at 5 p.m. Tuesday for publication the following Friday. All submissions must be typed and double-spaced, and must include the authorʼs name, telephone number and any relevant titles or affi liations with campus or national groups. Letters should be no more than 300 words, columns should be no more than 700 words. Letters must be e-mailed to [email protected]. The Flat Hat reserves the right to edit all material. Because of space limitations, The Flat Hat may not publish all submissions. The Flat Hat Editorial Board meets weekly to discuss the position taken by editorials. Unsigned editorials Better cell phone reception. More than one Steer Clear van. Honestly, I don’t care. It would be nice to see the recycling are written by the Editor or a designated member of the Editorial Board. All Board editorials refl ect the program going very well and con- consensus of the Editorial Board. Letters, columns, graphics and cartoons refl ect the view of the author only. tinue. The Flat Hat wishes to correct any facts printed incorrectly. Corrections may be submitted by e-mail to ✦ Andrew Miller, sophomore ✦ Annie Wanlund, sophomore ✦ Mary Davenport, junior ✦ Meg Dailey, sophomore the section editor in which the incorrect information was printed. Requests for corrections will be accepted at any time. — photos and interviews by lizzy spencer NEWS ✦ SEPTEMBER 23, 2005 3 Law professor lectures about SA Undergraduate Council hypocrisy of Constitution Day welcomes new members

BY MICHAEL J. SCHOBEL executive branchʼs update. The student life commit- FLAT HAT NEWS EDITOR tee will be holding a Prince George Street Block Party Wednesday. There are also plans to extend The Undergraduate Council welcomed the seven rides to the airport to Richmond this year, in addi- new members elected in the past weekʼs elections at tion to Newport News and Norfolk. Norris also re- their Tuesday session. The new members included ported that Project Relief has collected $14,000 so all of the Class of 2009 officers and the secretary and far, $1,275 of which was raised last Friday at the a treasurer for the Class of 2007. The Council devoted cappella fundraiser. much of its time to discussing homecoming events. Class of 2008 Vice President for Advocacy Brad Prompted by Council Chair senior Stephanie Potter presented an update on the Oct. 21 pep rally Casler, the meeting opened with an unrehearsed ren- on Yates Field. He said that his committee is look- dition of the alma mater by the new members. ing to make it more active this year by bringing in Following the performance, the presidents of new groups, such as dancers. He is also in discus- each class submitted reports to the Council. Class of sions with Assistant Vice President for Student Af- 2008 President Nick Faulkner said that the sopho- fairs Mark Constantine about the use of fireworks. more class had a busy week with Saturdayʼs excur- Potter said that volunteers are still needed to run the sion to Go-Karts Plus. The class sold 114 tickets and event. has 136 tickets left over. “Weʼre looking for a lot of manpower to man “The benefit of having some left over tickets is things like the popcorn machine, the cotton candy weʼre probably going to have another one in the machine,” he said. “Itʼll be pretty intense.” spring,” Faulkner said. In a related story, Class of 2008 Treasurer Sarah The Class of 2008 will continue selling triathlon- Gibney reported that the spirit committee needs themed merchandise, including shirts, towels and members. mugs, next week. Faulkner said he hopes to raise Class of 2007 Vice President for Social Affairs up to $9,000, if everything is sold. The class is also Bryan McDermott said that plans for this yearʼs planning a poker tournament for January. Powderpuff football game are underway. ANDY DESOTO ✦ THE FLAT HAT Class of 2007 President Jessica Vance reported “You bring the players, weʼll bring the game,” Law Professor William Van Alstyne holds a copy of the constitution at a compulsory lecture for Constitution Day, that the class ring sale will be held next week and he said. a federally-mandated day for teaching about the Constitution at all institutions receiving federal financing. that officers are working on the junior classʼs poker Potter also mentioned his project to clean up night, scheduled for Oct. 5. the College Woods. According to Potter, the woods BY AUSTIN WRIGHT he is also noted for his conserva- the copy of the Constitution that Class of 2006 President Jon Adams reported that have not been cleared of hurricane Isabel damage FLAT HAT INSIGHT EDITOR tive opinions on affirmative ac- was given out before the lecture, senior class is planning a BYOB tailgate at the Oct. and still pose a hazard. Students and organizations tion. Van Alstyne also used examples to 22 home football game. are invited to join in an effort to clear the woods Lee Professor of Law William According to a 2000 study by show the irony of celebrating the SA Vice President Amanda Norris presented the Oct. 15. Van Alstyne, from the Collegeʼs the Journal of Legal Studies he Constitution of 1787. Marshall-Wythe School of Law, ar- is one of the 50 most cited legal He said that under the Consti- gued against a Congressional man- scholars of all time. He also wrote tution of 1787, citizens did not date requiring institutions that re- the leading textbook on modern- directly vote for president, the ceive federal funding to discuss the day interpretations of the first Senate was chosen by state legisla- Constitution of 1787 on Constitution amendment, “The American First tures and only seven percent of the Day, last Friday in Andrews 101. Amendment in the Twenty-First population was eligible to vote for Vice Provost Dennis Manos in- Century.” the House of Representatives due troduced Van Alstyne, and said that In his lecture entitled “Some to severe restrictions. he was named one of the top ten Reflections on the Worldʼs Oldest “If you were to treat [the Con- most likely candidates for the Su- Constitution and How Congress stitution of 1787] as the sole docu- preme Court. Chose to Honor It,” Van Alstyne ment ... then I think you would find “First a modest corrective,” Van spoke against the new mandate, it as least as much a document of Alstyne said. “I was never in the poll calling it contradictory to the prin- historical embarrassment as one of of the ten most likely. There was a ciples of the document. In his lec- national celebration,” Van Alstyne totally irresponsible poll that said [I] ture, he discussed the irony of his said. was among the 10 most qualified, compulsory presentation. He said that the Constitution never among the 10 most likely.” “[The government] has chosen is celebrated not for the original Van Alstyne could be consid- to honor [the Constitution] by tell- document, but because it is a living ered a moderate choice for ap- ing us hold these meetings or else,” document that has been flexible to pointment to the Supreme Court. Van Alstyne said. “Or else lose changes in the United States. While Van Alstyne was a member your money, which is fraught with The lecture was videotaped and NICOLE SCHEER ✦ THE FLAT HAT of the Board of Directors for the constitutional irony in my view.” is available for download at www. Class of 2008 Treasurer Sarah Gibney said that her spirit committee is in need of new members. American Civil Liberties Union, As the audience flipped through wm.edu/constitutionday. WE ALL SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM BOV SA FROM PAGE 1 FROM PAGE 1

events for this year are, Beato said, “things I think the stu- dents care about.” “I hope they do more events, and more creative events. I think itʼs something the SA lacks. I think itʼs some- thing the whole school lacks,” Phillips said when asked if the passing of the 2008 Compen- sation Act would encourage the other classes to create more events for the student body as a whole. The bill passed 9-1-0. Godfrey also presented a IRENE ROJAS ✦ THE FLAT HAT bill that would set up a com- Provost Geoffrey Feiss, a primary architect of the academic plan, worked munity newsletter. The news- on it throughout the semester, consulting with faculty and students. letter would go out to the breathtaking,” he said. “Itʼs the thing [I am] most proud and happy about.” Williamsburg community in In terms of affordability, Feiss said that the College aims to meet 100 an effort to highlight the civic percent of the financial need of in-state undergraduates and cited Nicholʼs contributions students make. Gateway William and Mary initiative as a step in this direction. It is hoped that such an action

The academic plan also calls for continuing the trend of six percent annual will dispel the negative stereo- JONATHAN SEIDEN ✦ THE FLAT HAT increase in externally funded research and maintaining support for obtaining types that some residents have Students volunteered at Cold Stone Creamery on Monticello Avenue to raise money for Project Relief patents for intellectual property developed by faculty research. about the student population. Tuesday evening. All tips collected will be donated to the Red Cross to aid the victims of hurricane Katrina. Following approval by the Board, the academic plan will be sent to the “The city of Williamsburg State Council of Higher Education for approval and then must be passed by has done an excellent job at Richmond Road five lanes wide in For now, most sections of Rich- the General Assembly. Earlier in the summer, the College submitted an en- placating the students and send- CONGESTION some areas and three lanes wide in mond Road have been reduced to rollment plan that was passed by the council. ing information to us,” Senate FROM PAGE 1 others in order to alleviate conges- two lanes. Clayton said that most After Feissʼs presentation, Vice President for Finance Sam Jones gave a Chair senior Luther Lowe said. tion. According to city officials, the congestion occurs around lunch time presentation regarding the final plan, which concerns finances. “We donʼt get our message out road and install new curbs, gutters construction will cause some traffic and during the afternoon commute. According to the office of University Relations, the College receives 18.7 enough about how our students and sidewalks. Construction for the problems. In order to be completed He suggested that students avoid the percent of its operating budget of over $200 million from Virginia. give hundreds of hours of com- first phase began about a month ago on time, work must be done both area around midday and in the after- According to Jones, next year the statewide base adequacy funding short- munity service. This is the sen- and both phases are scheduled to be during the day and at night. At night noon. fall will be $345.5 million and will grow to $604.9 million by 2010. As an ate public affairs committee completed by Dec. 1, 2006. the road will occasionally be reduced “The benefits far outweigh the individual institution, the Collegeʼs shortfall will be $3.7 million next year, taking a step forward.” The construction will make to one lane. inconveniences,” Clayton said. growing to $10 million by 2010. The base adequacy is the commonwealthʼs The newsletter, should determination of how much funds institutions of higher education require it be passed, will be a pilot mester. However, 139 less people have bought meal in order to operate. The calculation discounts the commonwealthʼs obliga- program. The letter will go MEAL plans this semester compared to last year. Whether tions regarding faculty salary levels. According to Jones, if faculty salaries, out once a semester by direct FROM PAGE 1 such numbers are attributed to the changed meal plans financial aid and faculty and staff support funds are factored in, the shortfall mail to approximately 2,000 is not yet known. for fiscal year 2007 to 2008 rises to $20.3 million. The commonwealthʼs of- households. The bill was sent semester, you really canʼt tell whatʼs going to happen,” “As we go through the semester, we review all the ficial goal for faculty salary levels is the 60th percentile of peer institutions of back to committee for further he added. sales at each location in the Marketplace,” DiBene- higher education. Faculty salaries are currently in the 31st percentile. review. Business in the Marketplace has changed, which detto said. If sales are still lower as the semester ends, Jonesʼ financial plan accounts for various funding scenarios, including The Virginia Organizing DiBenedetto said was expected. Overall, purchases DiBenedetto suggested that changes might be made. those in which the commonwealth provides no additional funding, increases Project and the Water Guns with meal options have decreased 30 percent, while Starting this month, the Marketplace will not be funding at the rates it has in the past or fully meets its obligation to higher ed- Bill were also presented at Flex Point and Express usage has increased 25 percent. open Saturday, a change which reflects low student us- ucation. According to Associate Vice President for Public Affairs Bill Walker, the meeting as new business. These preliminary numbers suggest a slight loss at the age on the weekends. all of the candidates in this yearʼs gubernatorial race have pledged their com- Sophomore Sen. Joe Luppino- Marketplace. “We did a test last year for almost nine weeks, and mitment to full funding. Esposito was appointed liaison Meal plan usage at the Caf and UC have increased the numbers didnʼt warrant [keeping the location open Jonesʼ financial plan must be submitted to the State Council on Higher to the Recycling Committee. this year. DiBenedetto reported that meal purchases at Saturdays],” DiBenedetto said. “Thatʼs part of busi- Education by Oct. 1. these two dining halls increased by about 700 this se- ness.” 4 NEWS ✦ SEPTEMBER 23, 2005 Under the World Beat: Germany M C R S C O P Electorate split on parties ✦ BY JOE KANE edition of BBC news, Schröder him- seats. The Free Democratic Party, GULF COAST CLEANUP BEGINS TO AVERT ENVIRONMENTAL CRISIS THE FLAT HAT self called for this measure among a libertarian party and possible his fellow members of the Bundestag coalition partner for Merkel, per- BY BECKY EASLEY Despite these problems, success stories have also Germany held its federal parlia- in May after his Social Democratic formed surprisingly well with 9.8 THE FLAT HAT begun to surface in New Orleans. The hurricane de- mentary election Sunday. The ap- Party suffered a devastating loss in percent of the vote. The remaining struction affected a tank of eight trained dolphins, pointments to the 598 vacant seats the state of North Rhine-Westpha- votes were sprinkled amongst the Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans full force, and which caused the tank to burst so that the dolphins in the Bundestag, Germanyʼs par- lia, “previously a party stronghold.” Left Party, which consists of for- the efforts to clean up and rebuild have only begun. had to survive in the wild until they could be cap- liament, came as a surprise to many With one of his chief aims being the mer socialists and the Green Party, According to a Sept. 9 report from NPR, cleanup tured. The bottlenose dolphins were in danger of Germans and others across the globe improvement of Germanyʼs fl agging the SDPʼs coalition partner. With may take up to twice the 40 days currently estimated starving; they were raised in captivity and therefore with the stronger-than-expected economy, said he felt that a general such a close fi nish, both Merkel to drain the city due to pump malfunctions and other did not know how to catch food on their own. Res- showing of Germanyʼs current chan- election was imperative to regain the and Schröder claimed victory, the setbacks. Perhaps the biggest problem currently, cuers were able to stay with the dolphins after the cellor, Gerhard Schröder, and the trust of the people in his social wel- former disappointed in her sud- however, is the danger to the environment. Oil spills hurricane dissipated to feed and care for them. Later, sudden drop in support for the chal- fare reforms. den sag of support and the latter occurred in many places across New Orleans, and half of the group was rescued and treated for dis- lenger, Angela Merkel. Despite a narrow victory in the “beaming” with excitement in his the Sept. 7 edition of CNN.com reported that up to 7 eases. The other half was fi nally found and brought According to Wikipedia, Ger- 2002 election, Schröder has held the unexpected comeback, the Sept. million gallons of oil were spilled, which is equiva- back to the marine center for treatment. Treatments many operates on a state and federal reigns of power securely since 1998 19 edition of CNN.com reported. lent to about two-thirds of the amount in the Exxon for the dolphins took place in saltwater ponds where level and has a constitution — the with the help of his SPD party and “We had hoped for a better result Valdez spill in 1989. Debris from the hurricane such the dolphins received attention for disease or injuries as refrigerators, TVs and telephone poles added to that might have occurred. SITUATION: the destruction done by Katrina. According to NPR, the Humane Society has res- Elections for German parlaiment were called this year by Chancellor Gerhard Schröder of the Social Pollutants other than oil are present in the fl ood- cued approximately 400 house pets. Cats, dogs, birds Democratic Party, the ruling center-left party in Germany. Due primarily to high German unemployment, waters that cover New Orleans, and industrial and other pets were found roaming the city, and res- the Christian Democratic Union, a center-right party headed by Angel Merkel, initially led the SDP in polls chemicals and sewage also pose a threat to the en- cuers have successfully reunited many pets with their by double digits. As the election approached, however, Schröderʼs party gained support and lost to the CDU vironment in the area. The Sept. 7 edition of The owners. Help lines are available to people who have by less than one percentage point. Both parties are now scrambling to work with minor parties and establish Washington Post reported that safe water may not lost pets; when a pet is found, foster houses shelter a governing colation. Should Merkel prevail, she would be Germanyʼs fi rst female chancellor. be available for years in New Orleans, and tests are them in various locations around the city. Sites such still being performed to determine whether the wa- as www.noahswish.org help residents fi nd the lost ter is acceptable for use. A Sept. 3 test conducted pets. Many people were forced to leave their pets be- Basic Law — which establishes the its traditional coalition partner, the … now we need to create a stable by the Environmental Protection Agency found high hind because shelters for people displaced by Katrina legislative, executive and judicial Green Party. The Christian Demo- government for the people of Ger- levels of chemicals such as hexavalent chromium, did not allow pets. The Society for the Prevention of branches of government. This elec- cratic Union and the Christian So- many,” Merkel said, The Washing- arsenic, lead and thallium. While these levels might Cruelty to Animals shelters have often been a place tion was for control of the Bund- cial Union, its Bavarian counterpart, ton Post reported Monday. drop as the water is drained, testing still needs to of refuge for many homeless animals. estag. Though there is an executive have been the main opposition. The The Post showed Schröder giv- be conducted by the EPA in order to ensure that the president, power is exercised by CDU is headed by Angela Merkel. ing himself “a double thumbs-up” water is safe. the chancellor, who is generally Wikipedia describes the SDP and maintaining optimism by say- Further environmental problems such as air pol- the leader of the dominant party in as a center-left party, in contrast to ing, “Those who wanted a change lution or pest problems may exist for residents. Air parliament. With so many different Merkelʼs center-right platform of in the offi ce of this chancellor have pollutants cannot be successfully measured until the parties, obtaining a clear majority is cutting the income tax, supporting failed grandly … there will be a fl ood waters recede. Pests such as mosquitoes or diffi cult, and parties must work to- the deregulation of companies and stable government in our country, rats may also pose a problem to those living in New gether to form a governing coalition. rejecting Turkeyʼs admittance to under my leadership.” Orleans. The Centers for Disease Control and Pre- Citizens use a two-way vote, one to the European Union. At the end of The election results refl ect Ger- vention posted guidelines for dealing with pests that elect candidates and one to vote for August, Germanyʼs national broad- manyʼs struggle to identify itself do- might cause diseases. Mosquitoes could pose a major parties and determine who will fi ll cast, Deutsche Welle, indicated that mestically. Lingering problems such problem, as the fl oodwater provides a natural breed- the vacant seats and hold a majority. Merkelʼs CDU held a double-digit as unemployment and the selection ing ground for the insects. They may also carry dis- Elections usually occur once lead over Schröderʼs SPD, affi rming of the countryʼs next chancellor are eases such as the West Nile Virus or dengue fever. every four years, but they are also the possibility of Germanyʼs fi rst- up in the air. The CDU and SPD According to the Post, destruction of coastline is implemented whenever the existing ever female chancellor. could meet in the middle to solve already evident. The coastline is not only a natural parliament decides a “Constructive However, the election num- this dilemma, forming a “grand co- habitat for many birds and sea life, but also serves as Vote of No Confi dence” in the cur- bers defi ed predictions. The pre- alition,” but they will most likely be a buffer to hurricanes. If a natural buffer is damaged, COURTESY PHOTO ✦ MSNBC.COM rent chancellor. This is done to avoid liminary results showed that the scrambling in the upcoming days it will be diffi cult to recover and even harder to block Crews work in Louisiana to clean up oil spilled the instability that rocked the Weimer CDU obtained 35.2 percent of the and weeks to cajole other parties other hurricanes that may hit New Orleans. earlier this month because of hurricane Katrina. Republic before the fi rst World War. vote, fi lling 225 seats, and the SPD onto their side in order to gain a ma- According to the July 1 online snagged 34.3 percent, fi lling 222 jority in the Bundestag. September 23, 2005 Page 5 [email protected] OPINIONS STAFF EDITORIAL Let them eat cake It appears the situation is worse than we feared. Though the new Commons dining hall was supposed to breathe new life into the stagnant air surrounding campus dining, the commoners are nowhere to be found. A quick glance at lunch time on campus tells all; virtually no one is eating at the Marketplace and the Caf. Why, oh why, is this so? Much of the trouble seems to come from poor planning and service at the facilities themselves, including sloppy service while students wait in long lines for their food. The policies put in place at the dining halls donʼt seem to make much sense, either; the Marketplace now charges different prices for different types of bread? This is an improvement? By whose standards? In our view, most of the problems result from those contracts with food providers: in the Collegeʼs case, Aramark. The inefficiencies are apparent in the food selection, the service and the meal plans. The meals themselves are outrageously overpriced, resulting in meal plans that leave students with too few Flex Points and too many leftover meals with no place to use them. Some of us havenʼt eaten at the UC for lunch since the first week of classes, and one of us has used as few as four meal options per week (he has 14 per week available, mind you). The alternatives that Dining Services officials point to are a joke; what kind of choice is it to pick between several overpriced plans, none of which give students what they need? Freshman are even more restricted because they canʼt select block plans even if they wanted. Why does the College sign these ridiculous contracts with companies that donʼt seem to give students any real choice? We figure itʼs because the College looks for bids from food service companies and grabs the lowest one, but the money saved in selecting the lowest bidder ends up being passed on to students and their parents at outrageous markups. The economic arguments aside, no reasonable person who eats at dining facilities at the College can deny the massive exodus from the Caf and Marketplace to the UC, particularly during the noon Contra Gateway to 1 p.m. lunch hour. On the rare occasion when the Caf is busy, however, the appropriate help is nowhere to be found; though several cooks are needed, one can often see half a dozen staff stand- Imagine a small, underfunded public col- ings. $12,000 for a College education, which is ing around while one person cooks for hundreds of students. And while we have to admit that the lege. The school offers a very good education at assuredly above average, is a very good investment new Quiznos and Chinese food locations are tasty, and new Caf looks great, cooking in front of the one-quarter the price charged by its competitors. indeed. Students who decline to make this invest- students, while a novel idea, just isnʼt practical. Starved for resources and lacking a large endow- ment cannot assert that the College is somehow Students have begun to abandon the Caf and Marketplace, and the new statistics on usage at ment, the school underpays “closed.” One might just as well argue that the the Marketplace support this fairly clear observation; according to Resident District Manager Phil and overworks its staff, local car dealer is “closed” to those who finance DiBenedetto, use of meal plans there is down 30 percent while the use of Flex Points and Express faculty and administrators. their automotive purchases instead of paying in is up 25 percent. While Mr. DiBenedetto (who looks a bit like Marie Antoinette when he says the Physical facilities leave much cash. College is unable to afford to give students meal options at the Marketplace, all while standing under to be desired, making it more At any rate, this is a strange time to be taking on two new flat-screen televisions) said we canʼt really know what those statistics mean, we urge him difficult to recruit and retain novel and expensive “public” obligations. Tuition to wait a couple weeks when block meal plan usersʼ Flex Points begin to run out. students and faculty. at the College is rising because the public refuses to As if all this werenʼt enough, students who have the gall to post legitimate questions on the Some schools might provide the financial support necessary to accom- Marketplace wall are given answers that are, well, condescending to say the least. DiBenedetto says respond by aggressively rais- plish our mission. Shortly after receiving an honor- he values student opinion, but the answers from Dining Services staff on the Marketplace wall tell a ing prices and investing the ary degree in “public service” from the College, different story: the Collegeʼs students arenʼt actually responsible adults but rather five year-olds who Alan proceeds in human and physi- Governor Mark Warner unilaterally imposed a 17 need to be placated. If Dining Services keeps up this kind of behavior, they just might start seeing Meese cal capital. The College has percent cut in our budget, arguing that the College hungry students coming at them with pitchforks. taken a somewhat different could make up for any budgetary shortfalls by rais- Editorial Board: approach. Three weeks ago, the College announced ing tuition, which the College promptly did. At that it soon hopes to give its product away for present, state appropriations make up less than 20 Stephen Carley, Editor-in-Chief free to hundreds of students. Under the so-called percent of the Collegeʼs budget, compared to about Whitney Winn, Managing Editor ✦ Virginia Paulus, Executive Editor “Gateway Initiative,” any student of modest means 70 percent in 1980. Demetria Penix, Business Manager ✦ Michael Schobel, News Editor admitted to the College is automatically entitled The College has repeatedly asked the common- Alejandro Salinas, Variety Editor ✦ Christopher Adams, Sports Editor to attend free of charge. No loans, no GI Bill, no wealth for the funds necessary to meet the demon- Kyle Meikle, Reviews Editor ✦ Will Milton, Reviews Editor work-study. Itʼs all “on the house.” strated financial need of admitted students, and the Natalie Ronollo, Opinions Editor ✦ Ashley Baird, Copy Chief Like all entitlements, Gateway will become commonwealth has repeatedly declined. The public, more expensive each year. The College competes at least, believes that the benefits of free access are with well-heeled private schools for students, fac- not worth the public cost. Public duties cannot exist ulty, staff and administrators. The cost of these and without public support. other inputs, and thus the cost of a “free” education Given the publicʼs rejection of free access, any for Gatewayʼs beneficiaries, rises each year, faster justification for the Gateway Initiative must be than inflation. To cover these costs, the College will found elsewhere. Many will applaud any effort to have to divert an ever-increasing amount of tuition use the combination of tuition and financial aid to revenue and private funds away from the academic redistribute income. Still, the state constitution for- program and toward need-based aid. The College bids taxation without the consent of the governed, itself estimates that Gateway will cost over $1 mil- and those who embrace this fundamental tenet of a lion annually by 2007. free society will reject the use of tuition to “spread Still, the College asserts that Gateway will be the wealth.” worth this (spiraling) cost. The College claims This is not to say that there is no legitimate that the plan meets a (novel) “public obligation” justification for financial aid. All colleges, be to ensure “access” in light of rising tuition, and they public or private, endeavor to enroll the best President Gene Nichol contends that, as a public students possible. Some of our rivals offer merit university, we must be “visibly open to all.” These scholarships, and such price competition could arguments fail for two reasons. First, the College lure needy students to other schools. The Gateway is already open to all, given the availability of sub- Initiative might therefore be seen as a means of sidized loans and Federal aid. Second, even if one meeting this competition. incorrectly equates “access” with a free education, Not so fast. If need-based aid is about maximiz- nothing about our public status implies an obliga- ing student quality, then the Gateway Initiative is tion to give our product away for free. both over- and under-inclusive. Under-inclusive In-state tuition and fees stand at $7,800. This because the College also competes for non-needy bargain price covers less than half the cost of the students, and over-inclusive because not all needy education the College provides. Students who can- students (or rich students) qualify for merit aid. not afford this price are eligible for various forms Access is certainly a laudable objective. A col- of financial aid, including Pell Grants, work-study lege education is a very good investment, and and student loans. Under current College guide- loans are available for those cannot pay cash. The lines, no student who demonstrates financial need College is already “open.” Letʼs not spend money Take the bunny and run must borrow more than $12,500 to finance his or we do not have making it free. her education here. The commonwealth, the College Alan J. Meese, ʼ86, is the Ball Professor of Law I was on my way home Friday night, and there it The officers eyed us both, and the bunny, startled and Uncle Sam pay for the rest. at the Collegeʼs Marshall-Wythe School of Law. His was: Sylvilagus floridanus. An Eastern Cottontail in all as I was, ran past my feet and into the nearest bush. Studies show that an average college education views do not necessarily represent those of The Flat its glory! I stood and was required to hand over my ID card adds about $900,000 to a graduateʼs lifetime earn- Hat. It saw me, and our eyes locked in primal competi- and have my number run through the system. They tion. Would it run away? Would were certainly a hair over-zealous — rabid, even. I run away? Refusing to yield, I Nevermind the frat party I had come from, where sat down about five yards away underage students were busy getting drunk on campus; from where the little creature was I was the real problem. poised motionless. Then I saw its “We received a call from the girls inside the Health ears twitch and turn. I was sure Center,” one officer said. “They were worried about a it could hear my heart beating person sitting out on the sidewalk near their building. inside my chest. Could it smell They are afraid to leave.” fear as well? Time passed, and Little did I know, the girls had been getting all Christian neither of us would capitulate. cotton-mouthed while I was watching the cottontail. Amonson After sitting in complete silence Nevermind the fact they could have simply popped for five minutes, we reached an their heads out of the door and asked me what I was understanding. The little creature returned to eating doing. Or they could have asked the people who had grass and shoots, comfortable with my presence. I was gone in and out of the Health Center while I had been the Rabbit Whisperer. there, or any of the hundreds of people that had walked Witnessing this animal engaged in its nightly rou- by during the time I was there with my friend, the rab- tine was a spiritual experience. The way it dug at the bit. Of course, I suppose the way they looked out the ground to get to roots, the way it tugged at the green window and laughed with each other 20 minutes ear- grass, the way its ears followed the nightly noises of lier should have tipped me off to their fear. students passing by; all this contributed to my fasci- I eventually got out of that fuzzy situation but not nation with the mammal. Over the next half-hour, I without gaining some valuable experience.Fellow inched closer and closer to the rabbit, until we sat just students, if you want to admire nature at the College, a yard apart. I was privileged to witness its natural remember this important lesson: take the bunny and behavior in such close proximity. run. And then came the cops. Christian Amonson is a freshman at the College. “Excuse me sir,” one spoke, shattering the serenity. His views do not necessarily represent those of The “Could you come with us?” Flat Hat. 6 OPINIONS ✦ SEPTEMBER 23, 2005 Letters to the Editor Chancellor’s record criminal Changing ʻTribeʼ name ultimately changes nothing To the Editor: The 1970s was an age of uncertainty on tives in Chile states, “it is firm and continuing ments show that Kissinger had full knowledge At the end of David Hildebrandʼs column, “NCAA Finally Confronting the world stage. The United States was in the policy that [the democratically elected govern- that this invasion involved the use of U.S. Reality,” he recommended three politically correct mascots for the midst of the Cold War with the Soviet Union. ment of] Allende be overthrown by a coup ... weapons for non-defensive purposes, a viola- College, the first of which was the Hurricanes. Iʼd like to remind the col- Every move in foreign policy had to be cal- We are to continue to generate maximum pres- tion of the law. This invasion killed at least umnist that hurricanes kill people too, as does fire (Blaze) and electrocution culated in terms of the sure toward this end utilizing every appropri- 100,000 civilians. (Lightning). The fact of the matter is, while our current team name refers to struggle for power and ate resource. It is imperative that these actions The various clandestine invasions and a American Indian tribe, it appears to do so in a perfectly politically correct actions had to be thwart- be implemented clandestinely and securely coups organized by Kissinger have resulted fashion. Today, the only aspect of our mascot or logo that alludes to any- ed through deterrence and so that the [United States government] and in hundreds of thousands of deaths. Having thing American Indian is a pair of green and gold feathers. While I am by brutal campaigns in the American hands be well hidden.” such a war criminal as chancellor is a shame no means condoning the atrocities carried out by our government so many hot battles throughout the In 1971 General Yahya Khan used U.S.- to the Collegeʼs tradition of open inquiry years ago, changing a team name that todayʼs American Indians donʼt find Cold War such as Vietnam supplied weapons to overthrow the demo- and intellectual honesty. Kissinger has flatly offensive is not going to right any wrongs. and Korea. From 1969 cratically- elected government in Bangladesh, denied even having the conversations that — Bruce Smith, ʼ07 to 1975, U.S. foreign murdering at least half a million citizens. The implicate him in the worst of crimes. The offi- Jordan policy was led by our National Security Counsel wanted to condemn cial role of chancellor is the representative of Columnistʼs alternative nicknames are offensive too Kupersmith current chancellor, Henry these killings, but Kissinger refused. Instead the College to the British Crown. Under the To the Editor: Kissinger. Many of the Kissinger thanked Khan for his “delicacy and Geneva Conventions Act of 1967, British law In regard to David Hildebrandʼs column: your concern about offend- campaigns during this time, when the United tact.” says that the failure to distinguish between ing American Indians by the use of the nickname “Tribe” was a work of States struggled for dominance in the world, In 1974, days before the Turkish invasion military and civilian targets when pursuing powerful insight. Shame on the College for offending others with the use ignored the human costs of such policies. of Cyprus, Cyprus called for an emergency military operations is war crime. How can we of its nickname, and pat yourself on the back for being valiant enough to Kissinger is responsible for war crimes in Security Council meeting to discuss the have somebody guilty of crimes under U.S. suggest a name change. Your alternatives are far better. Youʼre right, the many battles throughout his tenure as National impending conflict. Kissinger was success- and British law representing our institution to “Hurricane” would be a superior alternative. What a fitting “non-offen- Security Adviser and Secretary of State. He is ful in stalling the meeting in order to allow the British Crown? The College must send a sive” name; Iʼm sure the residents of New Orleans would appreciate your responsible for sowing the seeds to the mur- Turkey time to prepare to invade. He main- message to the international community that choice. A hurricane devastated their city, forced thousands to start their derous Pol Pot regime in Cambodia due to the tained regular phone contacts with Turkey we do not want to be associated with such lives anew and killed many others. Sounds like something I would rather instability caused by illegal carpet bombing in throughout the ordeal and refused to denounce crimes. If we were to impeach Kissinger, not root for. order to deprive North Vietnam of its troops the July 1974 invasion by Turkey. He also it could help start the process of truth and Remember, it’s easy to get angry, but three fingers point back at you. and supplies. This bombing cost approximate- violated the Foreign Assistance Act of 1961 reconciliation for his war crimes. We must — Shaun Loria, ’08 ly 500,000 lives. In Chile, a popular commu- by refusing to halt U.S. military aid to Turkey. organize and urge the Board of Visitors to nist named Salvador Allende was democrati- Declassified documents from the Gerald R. impeach Henry Kissinger. OK, forget ʻTribeʼ — how about Burger King (William)? cally elected president in 1970 and Kissinger Ford Presidential Library reveal that Kissinger Jordan Kupersmith is a sophomore at the To the Editor: began organizing a coup as soon as Allende had a private face-to-face meeting with College and director of the Collegeʼs chapter In light of the Collegeʼs lack of a mascot and supposed budget short- rose to power. An October 1970 cable from President Suharto of Indonesia giving him the of Amnesty International. His views do not falls, may I make a suggestion to solve both problems? The College should Kissingerʼs track two group to CIA opera- green light to invade East Timor. The docu- necessarily represent those of The Flat Hat. adopt the Burger King mascot as our own. Think of the possibilities. The mascot would have instant national recognition, unlike the unrip- ened orange that was Col. Ebirt. The Burger King would not be offensive to anyone, except the Chick-fil-A cows. Then thereʼs the financial side. With advertising like this, how could BK not make a substantial donation to the College? The answer is clear: itʼs the BK King for W&M. — Stephen Braunlich, ʼ06

Relating to tragedy often a learned skill Itʼs funny how things hit us in life; how in some way, but neither I nor my friend had us slightly noticed. It is as though we innate- little pieces of life can go missing and the any “gut feeling” on that day. ly bar the emotional tragedy of others from tragedy consuming a person, a family, can We all know of the devastation of reaching our own psyche. be so intensely strong and yet not all-encom- Hurricane Katrina. An old classmate relayed I remember the terrorist attacks of Sept. passing, reaching out how her extended family from the area 11, 2001. I was living in Turkey at the time, into communities. The (including grandparents, aunts, uncles and and so it was afternoon when the news further out from the core cousins) was moving into her Virginia home flashed on our TVs. I remember feeling so (those directly affected) as they had all become homeless. confused and shocked at the event, but as I you go, the less effect And yet, while gas prices rise and other sat half a world away, the horror was outside tragedy has on other production is affected, I can feel nothing of me. It didnʼt bubble up inside, but existed human beings. but empathy, and even that only runs so in a logical space in my brain that took in Some of you may deep. I have never been rendered homeless information and just left it there. believe in the butterfly myself, so that understanding, that sympa- As humans we strive to connect emo- Ashley effect, but what Iʼm talk- thy, is lost. There is a huge gap, a discon- tionally to one another. It seems such an Braun ing about is not a chain nect between the emotions of those affected impossible task. The best way to touch those of subsequent events but and my own. suffering is physically. You cannot speak rather the emotional effect of human tragedy. Is it the commonness of tragedy that iso- logically to tragedy; you canʼt explain it or I found out last week that the older sister lates it so and keeps it in one place so that find reason for it. All that you can do is hold of a good friend of mine died in Afghanistan. those around it can carry their own burdens it, provide for it and stay in its presence for How such a thing can happen without caus- without additional baggage? Isnʼt it strange a while. ing public pain and disruption is strange. how a personʼs whole life can be turned Sometimes we ignore tragedy because we It happened two weeks earlier, and I had upside down and a next-door neighbor can canʼt understand it. We turn off the news or known nothing of it. There was no sign that experience none of that emotion? let the friend go because we feel inadequate my friend was experiencing anything out of Often we express emotional suffering as and futile in altering what we are outside of. the ordinary. I didnʼt see him online as much, more tangent than physical pain, and yet it But it seems to me that we can work but as he is a West Point student, I didnʼt just doesnʼt seem to transfer the same way. through our limitations by acting a part and view it as unusual. We may wince looking at a cast, but donʼt doing what we can see needs to be done. But as a close friend, how could I have no we often feel detached passing by funerals or Ashley Braun is a sophomore at the idea such a thing had occurred? You would hearing an ambulance siren? College. Her views do not necessarily repre- think humansʼ “sixth sense” would alert us The things that may be most painful pass sent those of The Flat Hat.

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Join the staff of the most widely-read newspaper on campus. Writers’ meetings are held each Sunday at 5:30 p.m. in The Flat Hat’s office (Campus Center basement). All are welcome. She’s the president of September 23, 2005 HCO, an RA in the Page 7 Spanish house, an ESL tutor and can even do [email protected] the helicopter. VARIETY See THAT GIRL, page 9. Getting healthy, fitter, celeb-reality style

Itʼs important to note that the Collegeʼs version of “Celebrity Fit Club” only loosely emulates the VH1 hit; there are no weekly weigh-ins or brutal bootcamp instructors here. They may not quite be celebrities, but participants will reap the benefits of individualized attention. A team of ten personal trainers will guide up to 64 participants through the program, all of whom are students at the College and either have or are working towards national certification. Each trainer will be assigned to either an individual or a team of two. First, the “celebrities” will undergo a fitness evaluation, and then establish fitness goals toward which to strive. With the aid of weekly tips and encouragement via e-mail and weekly workouts with trainers, the personal training staff hopes to turn participantsʼ goals into realities. Example goals include percentage of weight loss, percentage of body fat loss, improvement in mile time, increased bench strength and sit-ups in a minute. Trainers will review the initial fitness evaluations to define feasible goals (for the six-week time period), then re-evaluate their trainees at the end to determine an overall analysis. Completion of these goals will be assessed only at the end of the six weeks, and students ALICE HAHN ✦ THE FLAT HAT who meet their goals will be handsomely Students are given the “Celebrity” treatment as personal trainers take rewarded: all who attain their predetermined fi tness evaluations to assess personal levels of fi tness and health. BY ELIZABETH COLE goals will be entered in a raffle for prizes. Such THE FLAT HAT incentives include free personal training sessions at the partnered personal training sessions. ALICE HAHN ✦ THE FLAT HAT College, massages and even the travel costs of a trip. Following the mindset of any ambitious athlete, however, the At a school where students regularly Additionally, all who partake in the program, regardless real rewards will likely not be measured by material worth. A free complete “triathalons” and weave in and out of tourists as they jog of achievement, will receive a 10 percent discount for personal fitness evaluation at the start of the six weeks has a $15 value, and a down DoG Street, itʼs safe to say we are no slouches. The Fitness and training sessions with College trainers and a 25 percent discount for customized workout plan waived of cost, is an even better bargain; and Wellness division of the Recreational Sports department, however, is putting your friends to shame in the College triathalon is priceless. The offering a new fitness incentive program for students looking to step point of the program is to encourage students, faculty and staff to invest up their exercise routine. For the next six weeks, students, faculty in their well-being. Courtney Graves, a student trainer for the College, and staff of the College will have the opportunity to participate in the anticipates catering to all fitness levels. Celebrity Fit Club program. “For some people, the main focus isnʼt necessarily setting measurable According to Assistant Director of Fitness and Wellness, Jennifer goals. They just want to get to the gym more often,” Graves said. Ruehrmund — who, alongside Graduate Assistant David Lapinski, is Whether to stave off the “freshman 15,” sculpt washboard abs or just overseeing the Celebrity Fit Club — the Fitness and Wellness division to stick to a disciplined exercise regimen, all participants have nothing of the College offers a free fitness program to focus on health and to lose except for maybe those few nagging pounds. wellness development and to assist willing students with their personal Members of the Recreational Sports department say that students fitness objectives every semester. who are interested should contact the fitness desk, and that another This semester, the program is modeled after the popular VH1 themed fitness incentive program will be offered in the spring semester. reality television show “Celebrity Fit Club,” in which C-list celebrities For all you gym zealots, personal trainers are available year-round, and compete to shed pounds and improve their overall fitness. On the show sessions can be purchased at an hourly rate. Visit www.wm.edu/rec for personal trainers coach the stars and devise rigorous exercise routines. ALICE HAHN ✦ THE FLAT HAT more information. District jam band with funky, Street Carnival arrives, promises jazzy grooves to perform food and fun for families

BY STEVE WEISBERG the group. BY JAMES DAMON “Weʼve been really bogged down by a number of THE FLAT HAT In a style all their own, Laidback has created a THE FLAT HAT events,” Lemon said. niche in the overarching genre of jam bands. Their So far this year, Lemon and his committee have Changes abound this year at the College. While experimental nature and improvisational flair allowed With the dreaded midterms looming dangerously planned the “CU at the UC” event, the “Back 2 summer winds down and the school year rolls along, them to attract a large and varied audience. One could over the horizon, most students canʼt help but Classes Bash,” the performance of a hypnotist and routine weekly events are often overlooked by students compare the bandʼs funky bass lines and rhythms feel nostalgic about home. Fortunately for all the the Blizzard dance party. who are too focused on what the new Caf looks to George Clintonʼs Parliament Funkadelic. homesick, it is Family Weekend once again at the “[Itʼs] really a service to students and their like or where the new parking garage is Their freewheeling solos and improvised College, and a slew of activities promise to keep families what we are doing here,” Lider said. “This being built. melodies create an effect similar to everyone busy. Events include the Tribeʼs first home is probably the only event we hold that is not Fridays @ 5 is one such weekly that of String Cheese Incident, football game and the University Center Activities focused on William and Mary students.” event that brings music to the Widespread Panic or Moe. Lastly, Boardʼs fourth annual Street Carnival. According to Lider, the event was warmly UC Terrace on a weekly basis. Whitsonʼs vocal style can be The Carnival will begin tomorrow at 11 a.m. The received last year and members of UCAB expect This afternoon, the rock-fusion compared to the smooth sound event will include carnival games such as a flush this yearʼs carnival to be no different. quintet Laidback looks to be of G. Love and Special Sauce tank and a speed pitch game, as well as a moon “I think it is going to go over well. It depends anything but routine. and New Orleans fusion group bounce, popcorn and cotton candy. This yearʼs event a lot on the families that show up, itʼs the kids that “This concert will definitely Galactic. will be held at the UC Terrace. really make this event,” Lemon said. spice things up a bit,” sophomore On tour, the energy of “It will be very laid back, all the events are free,” The Tribe football game against Liberty Jacob Dreyer said. Laidback makes their live show Joe Lider, the assistant director of student activities University is scheduled to start at 1 p.m. Students, According to the bandʼs a must-see. programming, said. Lider and other members of family and friends can stop by the UC Terrace for homepage, their jam-based style mixes According to University Center UCAB executive board expect a rotating group of popcorn, cotton candy and games until the event “funk, jazz, rock, soul and blues,” to Activity Boardʼs chair of the music people that will “stop by in passing.” ends at 2 p.m. create an amorphous sound which can vary committee, Sam Rogers, “If you enjoyed the However, students appear to have different Despite these activities, some students said they from powerful and driving to smooth and spirit of [reggae group Soldiers of Jah Armyʼs] opinions. plan to spend family weekend off campus. funky. Sept. 2nd show, come out for more top- “My mom and brother are coming down to watch “I donʼt plan to participate in any family weekend Based out of Washington, D.C., COURTESY ✦ WWW.LAIDBACKMUSIC.NET notch free entertainment,” UCABʼs the football game, as for the Street Carnival it sounds events,” freshman Garrett Hatter said. “My family Laidbackʼs sound recalls that of chair of the music committee, Sam a little sketchy, so I am going to withhold judgment and I want to do our own thing. Like go out to the Grateful Dead and Phish. However, the rhythm Rogers, said. of what is going to occur,” freshman Mike Goudey dinner and hang out since I havenʼt seen them in a section has an undeniable jazz influence. Bassist Laidback, while not as reggae-based as S.O.J.A., said. “I donʼt think that the College is doing a very month.” Bradley Hodson studied jazz at the University of Seton still places emphasis on high quality live shows good job of advertising exactly what is going on.” Regardless of whatever students and their Hall, and drummer Garrett Wilhelm admits to using with good entertainment value and dance-encouraging Chris Lemon, chair of UCABʼs special events families, or lack thereof, decide to do this weekend, mainly funk, jazz and hip-hop grooves. Adding a dash beats. board, is overseeing the Street Carnival and said he senior Trina Chakrobortty, an executive member of soul to the mix is lead vocalist/acoustic guitarist According to sonicbids.com/epk, Laidback started admits that the event was not played up as much as of UCAB, said she has one wish; “I hope that the Brett Whitson. Back-up vocalist/electric guitarist Brian it could be. weatherʼs good and that people have fun.” See FUNKY ✦ page 8 Raubacher and percussionist David Adams round out Bitchy, ‘mean’ characters inspire musing on love, hate on campus

For two weeks we looked for it, periodically to one of its many readily-adoptable mantras. performance while wandering around campus something beautiful about someone who can be returning to comb the Target DVD aisle, OK, “on Wednesdays we wear pink,” may not one day. You all know exactly what I am talking herself entirely, without caring what other people constantly frustrated, longing to find it. Finally, be considered an entirely acceptable mantra, but about when I say it is impossible not to watch think, even if that beauty involves the complete almost salivating with our desire for the elusive you get the idea. Most guys I know proudly and them. I think part of the attraction lies in the destruction of other peopleʼs lives. Itʼs like a lion CONFUSION focus of our deepest wishes, we decided we regularly quote the incomparable “Plastics” in trickiness of pure evil hiding beneath a pretty out on the Serengeti, demolishing a spindly little had no other choice but to ask for it by name. every day life. What is the appeal? Do people exterior. When a girl shows up looking perfectly gazelle. You feel bad for the gazelle, but damn it CORNER We found a friendly Target employee: a slight, really love those girls? polished, dripping in pearls, smiling with her if that lion isnʼt totally rad. mousey-faced kid with one of those ratty, three- I could say that the reason I love “Mean perfect teeth and then says something positively Weʼre all mean girls sometimes. This term haired mustaches. I turned to my boyfriend Girls” is the beautiful moral at the end. I could heinous, no matter how much we hate her for it, isnʼt gender specific — I know plenty of guys expectantly; he looked back at me, with refusal also say that I only watch it because Lindsay we derive some kind of perverse pleasure from who are Regina George-level mean girls. Part of and fear all over his face. I sucked it up, Lohan is totally banginʼ, or just because I it. our secret fascination with true, all-out, to-the- sauntered up to the Target man and asked him secretly wish I were Tina Fey. These are all No one wants to bear the brunt of the mean core mean girls rests in the fact that they make in the coolest most sophisticated voice I could true (except for the moral part, but who likes girlʼs wrath, but watching them work it out on us feel better about ourselves. When you spend muster, “Excuse me, but do you have ʻMean morals?), but there is something far more some other poor sap makes us want to hug the 20 minutes talking smack about that skank you Girlsʼ?” alluring about “Mean Girls” than the fluffy, victim while secretly cackling with glee. Mean ran into at the delis last night, you might feel a “Mean Girls”: the touching story of young sparkly surface. girls are fabulous in their complete lack of twinge of regret. Then you just think about the Cady Heron, forced to attend public high school Whether in the movies or in real life, mean regret, tact or, letʼs face it, humanity in general. way your mean girlfriend might have handled Lauren after years spent living in the African bush. It girls are really just fascinating to watch. Maybe Theyʼre like that villain that steals the show in it, which would have involved months of Bell was sold out at Target at the beginning of the you are friends with these girls, maybe they every performance, and the best part is, most careful planning, stealth missions and two-faced school year. Multiple Facebook groups devote are in your classes or maybe you were just of them donʼt even realize that they are doing See 'MEAN' ✦ page 8 themselves to either the movie as a whole, or lucky enough witness a true mean girlʼs top it. They are just naturally evil, and there is FVariety UN 8 VARIETY ✦ SEPTEMBER 23, 2005 Area concerts Crossword Puzzle Variety ACROSS ✦ Hampton Roads and the surrounding areas donʼt 1. Seldom seen usually get a lot of good music, but the concerts 5. Chinaʼs Chairman ___ Calendar this week are astounding in both quality and quan- tity. Indie rockers Death Cab for Cutie are pro- 8. Gomorrahʼs sister city moting their new album today at the 9:30 Club in 13. Profess Washington. The show is sold out, but donʼt fret if 14. Ripsnorter Highlights of the week you canʼt get in: theyʼre playing 9:30 again in exact- 15. Words to live by ly one month. Southern Culture on the Skids opens. 16. Foremost — compiled by max fisher Funky jam band Particle is playing the same club 17. ___ were (seemingly) Sunday night, Gabby La La opens. Tuesday, Detroit 18. Cosmopolitanʼs ___ rock duo The White Stripes play Merriweather Post Gurley Brown Gorilla lecture in Columbia, MD. M. Ward and The Shins open. 19. Classic Disney character The aging but still rockinʼ Allman Brothers Band is 21. Debt acknowledgment ✦ As if you didnʼt already get enough monkeying playing Charlottesville Pavilion Wednesday night. 22. ___ Baba around from your classmates, Professor Barbara The week winds down on Thursday with Coldplay 23. “Listen up!” King will be giving a lecture this afternoon on bringing their jaw-dropping arena-rock show to the 24. Archeologistsʼ finds communication among gorillas. Dr. King, who Virginia Beach Amphitheatre. Rilo Kiley opens. 28. Varieties works in the anthropology department, will speak in They may be far, but every one of these shows is Millington 211 from 3:30 to 4:30 p.m. well worth the drive. 30. Close loudly 31. Was on a jury To have an event printed in the Variety Calendar, call x3281 before 5 p.m. Tuesday. 32. Mystery writerʼs prize 33. Close 34. Like Playboy models 35. Hard-to-eat-just-one item 6. Et ___ (and others) with the 38. Rickshaw 7. Unfortunate 1997 hit “MMMBop” 41. Legislative excess 8. Sharp divide 48. Fruit on a bush 50. Old hat 42. December 25 visitor 9. Black-and-white 51. Feed, as a fire 46. Colorado Indian cookies 55. Clashing figures? 47. Beesʼ home 10. Actor Dom 56. Beanies 48. Time capsule activity 11. Old poem 57. Funnyman Philips 49. Say another way 12. Tue. preceder 58. Response to an online 51. “Oh yeah? ___ who?” 14. Shoestrings joke 52. Docs, for short 20. French dear 53. Decorative vessel 25. “Holy smoke!,” e.g. 54. Shakespeareʼs shrew tamer 26. Lenient Source: The New York Times 57. ___ Island (immigrantsʼ 27. Mudhole site) 29. Riveted with 59. Dr. Frankensteinʼs assistant attention Last week’s solution 60. Suffix with origin 30. Stock unit 61. “Live free or die,” to 33. Lincolnʼs hat New Hampshire 34. Skyrocket 62. Snaillike 36. Roasting rod 63. Typesetting unit 37. Mazda 64. Merlin of football and TV competitor 65. WNWʼs opposite 38. Snarly dog Hulabaloo By Nate Loerhke 66. Connery of 007 fame 39. Grazed 40. Outcomes DOWN 43. Lingerie item 1. Rioting 44. Traditional 2. Was of use pudding Horoscopes 3. Slowing a horse, with “in” ingredient 4. Brain-teasing Rubik 45. Election 5. Like corn flakes sitting in loser Libra: Sept. 23 - Oct. 22 Aries: March 21 - April 19 milk 47. Pop group OK, so the hard-to-get strategy didnʼt You will make uncomfortable eye con- work. That was my bad. Weʼre going to tact with a member of the opposite sex go with the Barry White, red roses and on a cobblestone path on your way to massage oils route this week. class. Multiple times.

Scorpio: Oct. 23 - Nov. 21 Taurus: April 20 - May 20 Wearing an ʻIʼm With Stupidʼ T-shirt Donʼt you hate it when people use up loses its charm when you are standing all the washers and dryers at the same all by yourself. So Iʼm predicting thatʼs time? I mean, who do they think they not going to go well for you. are? Theyʼre probably Virgos.

Sagittarius: Nov. 22 - Dec. 21 Gemini: May 21- June 21 The stars will align for love this Have you heard thereʼs an auto repair weekend for you and your dream girl. shop or something like that named after Her overprotective father, however, is you? Well, anyway, avoid tall buildings also visiting. Sucks for you. and confrontational situations.

Capricorn: Dec. 22 - Jan. 19 Cancer: June 22 - July 22 Iʼm not mad. Iʼm just disappointed. Knock, knock. Whoʼs there? Your horo- I wish you would have called first, scope. Your horoscope who? Your horo- Heroman By Thomas Baumgardner thatʼs all Iʼm saying. Donʼt you dare scope isnʼt very funny today. Sorry try to turn this around on me. about that.

Aquarius: Jan. 20 - Feb. 18 Leo: July 23 - Aug. 22 Things are going to pick up. Theyʼve Beware of situations involving paral- got to; in fact, I absolutely 100 per- lel parking. Especially in the Dupont cent predict that they will. Or my and Boutetourt area. Where did those name isnʼt Robert Goulet. people learn how to drive?

Pisces: Feb. 19 - March 20 Virgo: Aug. 23 - Sept. 22 You rock, Pisces. You are going to What am I doing with my life? Writing have such a great week. All the other horoscopes? I should be writing novels, signs are going to be so jealous. Enjoy or screenplays, or fortune cookies. What it while it lasts. a waste ... compiled by jeff dooley

UNKY fifth member in Wilhelmʼs mentor, Adams. Laidback F recorded their first, self-titled EP in 1999. Their FROM PAGE 7 first full-length album, “The Birdfoot Sessions” was released in 2003 and contains 11 tracks. out with Hodson, Whitson and Wilhelm in Hodsonʼs Laidbackʼs enthusiastic live show will feature basement. The trio played a regular gig at The Cincinnati considerable musical variety. Their sound will stretch Café in Reston, Va. where they met Raubacher, who from thumping bass and jazzy licks to straight rock ʼnʼ was performing as a solo act at the time. Playing roll. Throw in a twist of soul and a hip-hop feel, and let Knowing Jack By Mika G.Shannon together as a foursome for two years, the band found its the jam begin. EAN in life to show us the very highest makes us cringe, but we donʼt need ‘M ’ points of crazy bitch-dom. Their any more mean girls. Enjoy the THE VARIETY SECTION NEEDS WRITERS. FROM PAGE 7 kind guidance allows us to see the movie, quote it, but donʼt live it. I INTERESTED? contrast between the mean girls and just donʼt think that my father, the dealings, and you realize that calling the normal people, which, in turn, inventor of Toaster Strudels, would MEETINGS ARE SUNDAYS AT 5:30 P.M. her a dirty little ho-bag — in front hopefully allows us to appreciate approve. IN THE CAMPUS CENTER BASEMENT. of her boyfriend … and his parents normal people a little bit more. Lauren Bell is a Confusion — is pretty moderate. Maybe. The movie is great. The girls are Corner columnist. She loves We need those few mean girls spectacular in that special way that wearing army pants and flip flops. VARIETY ✦ SEPTEMBER 23, 2005 9 Sex questions answered Q: I have a problem. When my girlfriend and I have sex, I come earlier than she does. Usually a lot earlier. You know when the guy comes, itʼs pretty That Girl: much over. I donʼt have any trouble getting an erection, but Iʼve been thinking BEHIND of taking Viagra to keep me Adriana Harvey CLOSED hard longer, even after I come. The commercials say a healthy DOORS guy taking it could get an BY TEGAN NEUSTATTER your Latina roots now. Not only are you HCO erection for four hours. Do you FLAT HAT STAFF WRITER president, but youʼre also the RA for the think Viagra would help? Spanish House. What made you want to live in A: It might have, had I not This weekʼs That Girl is Adriana Harvey, a the Spanish House, or ʻCasa Hispanica,ʼ over chosen to answer your question. petite half-Colombian girl with cool moves on the the other campus housing? The short answer is that if youʼre dance floor as well as the gymnastics mat. Her I originally wanted to improve my Spanish. lame in bed, youʼre lame in bed, long list of impressive extra-curricular activities Now, I live there because I love the Casa. I love and no pill on Godʼs green earth include being president of the Hispanic Cultural having the kitchen and everybody cooking and will fix that. Organization, an RA for the Casa Hispanica talking. Itʼs like a home. Viagra and drugs like it are (the Spanish House, for those who donʼt speak So tell me a little about the Rita Welsh Blake medications designed to give Spanish) and being a Rita Welsh Tutor. With her Tutoring Program and how you became men with a very real medical potential? crazy stories about the Casa, international house involved. Smith problem a chance at a normal sex A: So you think you can butter me up to answering rivalry and post-grad plans, this chica gives you a Itʼs in the bottom of Bryan Hall. They do adult life, and it sounds to me as if you your question by implying premarital abstinence, do private glimpse into her vida extraordinaria. literacy for people who donʼt speak any English. have something approaching just that — a normal sex you? Why did you decide to run for Hispanic Cultural Itʼs mostly students and volunteers who come in life. The medicines are not a recreational magic potion Well, you can. Organization (HCO) president? from the community, and they work with your that can turn a milquetoast into He-Man, Master of the The female genitalia are a remarkably effective self- It was really last minute. I thought I would run schedule; and you are paired one-on-one with Bedroom. They treat a physical condition called erectile cleaning system and will flush away any salt that might for vice president, but … Iʼm just really glad I got someone. Itʼs mostly English, math, things like dysfunction. find its way into their midst in the course of beach-bound [elected president]. I love HCO, and I had a lot of that. I found out about it from APO (Alpha Phi That being said, Iʼll admit that plenty of men request ardor. Presuming youʼre not shooting sea water into your things I wanted to do. Omega), and I just thought it would be fun to Viagra for the very same reasons you cite, but in these vagina with a squirt gun, you have nothing to worry What are your official duties as president? teach English. Itʼs nice to get to work with people cases the drugʼs benefits are purely psychological — the about from it. We have our executive board meetings, so one-on-one, to establish a connection. Right now I pill becomes a confidence booster. Chances are that if a The sand, though, is a much rougher issue. Any non- I run those. And Iʼm sort of the contact person actually work with a lady from Colombia. man believes the little blue pill heʼs taken will make him soluble particles of such size are a problem, but to have for everybody. I try to keep the club focused on In addition to all that, youʼre also in the a dynamo in bed, he will perform to his expectations and such abrasive bits continuously rubbed and ground into community service and fulfilling their purpose Gymnastics Club. That sounds fun. How long show his partner a hell of a time. Itʼs all in his head. your vaginal tissue? Yes, that would (and according to while educating the community as well. have you been doing gymnastics? Of course, there are other issues to consider, and some ladies with experience, does) hurt. It would cause Any big HCO-sponsored events coming up? Iʼve been doing it since I was five, so a long while I genuinely appreciate your desire to pleasure your pain, itching and inflammation. Considering the ubiquity We have our banquet Oct. 1. That is going very time. partner even after youʼve finished, I have to direct you to of sand at the seaside, youʼd be almost sure to encounter well, especially rehearsals. And last week was Did you ever seriously compete? broaden your focus beyond your penis. There are many this trouble if your plans for sex on the beach include particularly good for us because we had Maria Regionals is the furthest that Iʼve gone. ways to build the excitement and bring your partner much more than vodka, peach schnapps and a splash of Hinojosa come and speak. She was wonderful, Whatʼs the most difficult gymnastic move you to orgasm besides, or in addition, to intercourse: toys, cranberry juice. I donʼt want to ruin your “From Here really inspirational. Then we brought a salsa group can do? What is your favorite move? games and countless books on technique written by the to Eternity” fantasy, though. If you must, maybe you down from Northern Virginia on Saturday. We had Iʼve lost a lot [of gymnastics moves] since I experts (i.e. women). Consider them, use them and be can carefully spread out a good, heavy blanket and do a ton of people learning Cuban-style salsa. That donʼt go as much, but I used to be able to do a generous in your attentions. the deed before you go swimming and bury each other was a lot of fun. double-flip off of the [uneven] bars. My favorite I recommend against using Viagra in your case, but in the sand. Since you are half-Colombian, do you feel that move: I just like walking around on my hands all talk to your doctor about it. Youʼll have to see him to get As to the last part of your question: I can say your heritage has influenced your decision to the time. Everybody loves this one [move] called the drug anyway. that the sensation of thrusting into sandpaper would participate in certain clubs and/or activities? the helicopter, where you stand on your hands and Oh, and the Viagra commercials also say quite indeed prevent the penis from reaching its full growth I definitely think it has an influence on me. spin in a circle with your legs in a split. clearly that those four-hour erections warrant a trip to potential. Before I came here I wasnʼt very in touch with Last, but not least, if the Spanish House had the hospitalʼs emergency room, not your girlfriendʼs Q: Is it okay to put food “up there?” my Latina side; I didnʼt speak Spanish very well. to wage war against another language house, dorm room. A: Since you donʼt offer me any indication of your When I came to college I met a lot of people would it be: French, German or Russian? Q: A couple of my buddies and I were wondering gender, Iʼll assume youʼre female and give you a most like me, I got involved in HCO, and now itʼs a Probably German. We played the game if sand and sex is a bad combination. Of course we emphatic yes, provided youʼre not allergic to it and large part of my life. Iʼve traveled to Colombia a Assassins one time and one of the rules was that would be married first, but do you know what the itʼs something you can retrieve easily. Avoid grapes. couple of times, and I love it there. Itʼs a beautiful you had to wear underwear on your head if you side effects of sand in the vagina are? Does it hurt? If youʼre male: well, I just donʼt see how that would country. didnʼt want to be caught. The Germans came at me Can it cut you? Will the salt water clump up in or work. Well, youʼve certainly gotten in touch with in a pack of five with a spoon. I was terrified. clog the vaginal tract? And most importantly, would Blake Smith is a sex columnist for The Flat Hat. E-mail it restrict the penis from reaching its full growth him at [email protected] with questions, comments. September 23, 2005 Page 10 More of less of Brad. [email protected] REVIEWS See GOSSIP, page 11. Intelligence devolves in weak ‘Thunder’ ‘Crow’ fl ies high ✦ Devendra Banhart branches out on new LP

BY CONOR MCKAY THE FLAT HAT

Devendra Banhart is the most interesting singer/songwriter Iʼve come across in a very long time. If you have to ask why, itʼs because you havenʼt had the grace to hear any of his music. Well, hereʼs your chance: Devendraʼs latest release, “Cripple Crow,” is wonderful and should prove to be his most accessible record to date. With poppy songs like the Louis Armstrong- esque “Some People Ride the Wave,” Banhart is broadening his horizons while maintaining a sound very different from other contemporary artists in the singer/songwriter genre. Nearly every review of this album mentions the cover art and its obvious “Sgt. Pepperʼs” reference. No, Banhart isnʼt comparing himself to the Beatles, and I wonʼt make that lofty comparison either. If anything, Banhart is just trying to convey the ensemble feel of the album. Itʼs a new world of texture and flavor that his music hasnʼt had in his previous three albums. He incorporates these elements seamlessly, and all for the better. This album almost evokes feelings of unity and community. You feel as if Devendra is singing to you around a campfire, easing your pains and cleansing you of the evils inside. In Devendraʼs Lonely Hearts Club Band, he stands front and center with his arms wide open, inviting you to join the experience and share his peace and emotion. COURTESY PHOTO ✦ WARNER BROS. “Cripple Crow” is to Banhart what “Either/Or” was to the When the course of evolutionary history becomes altered, scientist Dr. Travis Ryer (Edward Burns) must set it right in “A Sound of Thunder.” late, great Elliott Smith. For Smith, “Either/Or” marked his first major label release. For Banhart, “Cripple Crow” is his BY BETH SUTHERLAND additions; the main idea remains unchanged. first expedition outside of his home at Young God Records. THE FLAT HAT Though Bradbury is usually great, it is the concept that makes the film “Either/Or” is very different musically from Smithʼs preceding stale. The story was a bit unconventional at the time of its publishing, but albums (“Roman Candle” and his self-titled second release). In the world of science fiction, thereʼs the good (“Star Wars,” “Jurassic the theme of evolutionary misadventure is now crusty and overdone. It With the financial backing of a major label, Smith was able to Park,” “Blade Runner,” “The Postman”), the bad (“Final Fantasy,” “Plan shuts the door in the face of other scientific and cinematic possibilities. explore the full instrumental spectrum he always wanted while 9 from Outer Space,” “Mimic”) and the amusing-but-laughably fatalistic. Why does sci-fi remain a genre married to the hypothesis of one man? If shedding off the lo-fi nature of his previous recordings, creating Adapting a story whose plot Darwin has done any damage, it has been to inadvertently thrust upon the a much richer sound while still maintaining his very distinct, is full of “what ifs” is a masses an inordinate number of similar films and thus teach Hollywood poignant song writing. Switching over to XL records seems to delicate execs not to explore other possibilities. And there are other possibilities. have had the same effect on Banhart. Now graced with a chorus Speciation — (think ape-to-man diagram) — is a theory born of reaction of backup singers, an army of flutes, a great collection of strings to Darwinʼs more limited thesis. The fossil record isnʼt much of a friend and hand drums galore, Banhart marches forward as a much to it either. The ideas proposed in “A Sound of Thunder” are intriguing more confident songwriter. Much the way Smith managed to and worth considering, but the threadbare theme and stilted script poison expand upon his sound without losing his uniqueness, Banhart the attempt. seems headed in the right direction, proven by the fact that its his Yes, it is entertaining. The special effects and attention to detail are simple acoustic guitar that still drives this record. very good. Perhaps the highlight of the entire movie is the introduction While this is certainly not a pop record, and still far from of the baboon-dinosaur hybrid that emerges as a result of evolution gone the palatable to the general public, there are plenty of tracks on awry. Gigantic bat monsters, a sea serpent and ridiculously resilient plants “Crow” that our nation of “Garden State” soundtrack fiends will matter indeed. also color the film. find more than listenable. Even the five songs sung in Spanish Without a tactful delivery, Bad acting and bad casting coupled with a puerile script, however, (Devendra hails from Venezuela) are easy to get into. “Inaniel” its melodramatically pollute the rest of the movie. The viewer is unsure if Kingsley (“House rolls softly along, while “The Beatles” (to go along with the prophetic message becomes of Sand and Fog”) and Burns (“Saving Private Ryan”) have embarrassed reference from the cover art) begins with “Paul McCartney overbearing and silly. Starring Ben Kingsley — themselves or if the dialogue has embarrassed them. Unfortunately, poor and Ringo Star are the only Beatles in the world” before usually so classy — and Ed Burns, Peter Hyamsʼ “A Sound of Thunder” dialogue fails to account for Burnsʼ stoicisim; his face is like a mask See ‘CROW’ ✦ page 11 aimed high and fell short. throughout the entire movie. On the other hand, if Burns wasnʼt expressive, As a brief look into cinematic history will reveal, itʼs easy to butcher a the score certainly was. Lively and ominous music provides excitement classic, but itʼs also possible to get it right. Ray Bradburyʼs (of “Fahrenheit and enhances the flight scenes. 451” fame) short story of the same name, is actually not too different from “Thunder” does have another redeeming quality — better even the movie. Essentially, the story is the same. Scheming entrepreneurs go than the baboon-dinosaurs. It very relevantly explores the excesses of back in time, a guy steps off the designated path, a prehistoric butterfly is commercialism and unethical scientific exploration. The idea that people crushed and the slight change in evolutionary history brings destruction and may some day be able to pay a million dollars or so to go back in time chaos upon the modern world. Sure, the movie adds an incredible attempt and shoot a dinosaur for fun is chilling. Despite such risks, is mankindʼs at remedy and goes into more detail concerning the bizarre arrogance enough to make such a thing possible? The owner of Time Safari mutations that have occurred. And yeah, it plays with Incorporated and the corrupt bureaucrat who helps him bypass the “safety” things like time ripples and other stereotypical requirements are scarier by far than the bat monsters and sea serpent. They time travel paradoxes. While it is posit a plausible threat. Wherever there are magnificent discoveries, there true that there are a number of will be people to exploit them. The film did well to emphasize this issue really cool mutations, these more than the short story did. One can really envision the destruction are simply of everything as a result of some unchecked, monetarily-motivated aesthetic entrepreneur. Less believable by far is the proposition that humans will turn into gilled, large-eyed organisms if someone goes back in time and steps on a butterfly. Bugs get killed every day, and no one worries too much now. Nevertheless, the elegance and simplicity of this symbolic creature are effective. The discovery of this winged genome plastered to the bottom of a time-trekking boot evokes an ominous sound of thunder for the biological world as we know it. Or at least it makes for a fairly entertaining COURTESY PHOTO ✦ XL evening at the movies. Weezer inspires unmatched fandom, fainting, 10-hour trek to Georgia

Tristan and I were at the Marketplace nados now), but most of us have experienced 1,000 more. I began my last “Obsession” the fact that they headlined Lollapalooza this a couple of weeks ago, having dinner and at least one or two missteps in our otherwise with the sentence, “all right emo sulks and year and the fact that they scored a “Rolling discussing crises of quality on some of our fine fandoms. indie shoe-gazers, get ready to hate me.” Stone” cover to think thatʼs true. Itʼs not that seriesʼ upcoming seasons (mine, “The O.C.,” Take my own (massively abbreviated) Now itʼs my turn to hate them. Weezer has, no one listens to Weezer anymore, itʼs just TALES OF his, “Alias”), when he posed this question list of adorations: Bret Easton Ellis, Stanley in the past five years, been systematically that the right people donʼt listen Weezer any- OBSESSION to me: is the truer fan the one who loves his Kubrick, Pixies. “Lunar Park” sucked, “Full ousted by jaded rock journalists and embit- more. object of affection uncritically and uncondi- Metal Jacket” is only one-third perfect and I tered fans alike as the greatest band that never I shed a couple of tears the day I found tionally, in sickness and in health, ʼtil death wouldnʼt dream of defending “Bossanova” to was. Where they were once forerunners of a bootleg of “Make Believe” when I was (or cancellation) do they part? Or is the truer a stranger. But then it hit me — the one band the post-grunge alternative scene, anything abroad. Itʼd been a long time since Iʼd heard fan the one who knows, for better or for I would, in fact, bear a sword, strap on armor past “Pinkerton” has been used to expose the a new Weezer song — three years too long, worse, when his good thing has gone bad? and run into battle screaming for: Weezer. band for the supposedly over-glossed, over- in fact — and the New Wave buzz of “This My answer was fast and furious; the latter My beloved, beloved Weezer. Weezer, produced sellouts theyʼve become. “Make Is Such A Pity” sent me over the edge. rather than the former. Obviously the bet- whose much-hated “Green Album” was the Believe,” the bandʼs fifth and latest full The thumping, relentless piano of “Perfect ter fan can admit that Seth lost his charm in first of their collection I bought in the sum- length, is supposed to confirm (if not decide Situation” blew me away. I got chills during season two, that “Human Behavior” proves mer of 2001. Weezer, who, at a Patriot Center once and for all) Weezerʼs downward spiral. “Haunt You Every Day.” Charlie Kaufmanʼs creative genius is some- concert the following September, drove me to What. The eff. Ever. Youʼd have to ignore I was a thousand miles and a month away Kyle times just creative or that “Star Wars” started cry, lose my flip flops and faint (the experi- the utter infallibility of “Island in the Sun” from the release of the album in the states, Meikle hedging the way of the Dark Side with Lucasʼ ence became the basis for my college accep- and “Hash Pipe” (from “Green”), “Dope and I couldnʼt have been happier. The day Ewok Eros. Sure, some fans are lucky enough tance essay, with italicized “Only In Dreams” Nose” and “Keep Fishinʼ” (from “Maladroit”) had just started in St. Andrews, Scotland, and that they never had to admit defeat (“Buffy” lyrics to boot). Weezer, who already received and “Beverly Hills” and “We Are All On I already had 12 new reasons to be cheerful. buffs, “Freaks and Geeks” freaks) and others 1,000 words of love from me in a column I Drugs” (from “Make Believe”) to think that I spent that day, and the day after that and may never have to (pray for the Tarantino, wrote my freshman year. no one listens to Weezer anymore. Youʼd also See WEEZER ✦ page 11 Beck, Fiona Apple and David Fincher aficio- And Iʼll be damned if they donʼt deserve have to ignore the countless sold-out concerts, Reviews UZZ B EVIEWS ✦ R September 23, 2005 11

. Hollywood Gossip

You had me at ʻgoodbyeʼ Jolie goes for John? Renee Zellweger of “Bridget “Tomb Raider” and humanitarian- Jones” fame sure does have a knack at-large Angelina Jolie is set to become for breaking rock starsʼ hearts: first one of the highest paid actress-turned- Jack White of The White Stripes fell models ever if she agrees to be the new victim to the “Chicago” starʼs charms face of fashion house St. John. The — now her four month marriage to label has offered the Oscar-winning HIGH NOTES country icon Kenny Chesney is over. actress an astounding $12 million con- Two Way Monologue The couple, who wed in the Caribbean tract to become their new spokesperson — Sondre Lerche May 9, met at a tsunami relief concert — compared with the previous high in January and were rumored to have of $5 million that Chanel paid Nicole The 21 year-old Norwegianʼs second album shines with melodies that been dating ever since. The estranged Kidman to star in their ads. Just think sting like Elvis Costello and sooth like The Beach Boys; witness as Lerche pair have not yet commented on the of all the African babies Jolie could collapses into a spacey, fuzzed-out excursion about (what else?) rabbits split. save. midway through the jagged minimalism of the catchy title track. — compiled by kyle meikle Pop goes the Federline Brad goes for broke? Britney Spears and Kevin Federline Speaking of arm (and/or eye and/or BILLBOARD TOP 10 SINGLES officially welcomed their first child anything else) candy, Brad Pitt may together last week with a tasteful mes- bare all in his upcoming role as Jesse 1. Gold Digger — Kanye West featuring Jamie Foxx sage posted on the pop tartʼs website. James in “The Assassination of Jesse 2. Shake It Off — Mariah Carey “Itʼs a boy!” appeared over a picture James by the Coward Robert Ford.” 3. We Belong Together — Mariah Carey of the pair kissing with animated blue For those who didnʼt get enough of the 4. Like You — Bow Wow featuring Ciara balloons hovering in the background. actor in the buff when Playgirl pub- 5. Lose Control — Missy Elliot featuring Ciara & Fat Man Scoop Preston Michael Spears Federline lished nude pictures of him (illegally) 6. Donʼt Cha — The Pussycat Dolls featuring Busta Rhymes was safely delivered when the singer in 1997, a scene in “Ford” calls for a 7. My Humps — The Black Eyed Peas underwent a Caesarian section at a fully naked Pitt to bathe himself while 8. Pon de Replay — Rihanna California medical center last week. standing a tub. How many ways can 9. Outta Control (Remix) — 50 Cent featuring Mobb Deep So, next time Brit is flashing her you spell mid-life crisis? 10. Wake Me Up When September Ends — Green Day tummy on stage, check out that scar. — compiled by kyle meikle

WCWM 90.9 FM 6-8 p.m.: Matt Hoffman Mid.-2 AM: Matt Sherrill 8-Mid.: David Richards 8-10 p.m.: Steve Calder and Orman FRIDAY “Get Ready to Live” FALL 2005 “The Electric Kool-aide 6-8 p.m.: Rachel Scheer “Krad Radio” Abbie Pugh 4-6 p.m.: Sammy Rogers 12-2 p.m.: Patrick 10-Mid.: Ian Grymes PROGRAMMING SCHEDULE Indie Test” “Ray-list” 10-Mid.: Brian Kelley “Sammy Samʼs Jammy Donaldson “Shakedown “Everything Hip-Hop” SUNDAY 8-10 p.m.: Andy Smith “2 8-Mid: Chip Cotton & John WEDNESDAY “Party OʼClock” Jams” Street” Mid.-2 a.m.: James Chase Hours of Awesome” Carriger “Chip & Johnʼs 10-Noon: Emily Flowers 6-8 p.m.: Adam Burks “The 2-4 p.m.: Alex Leon “Radio SATURDAY Coleman “Freedom of 10 p.m. - Mid.: Matt Hybrid Show” “WCWM World Music” THURSDAY Six OʼClock Hammer Party Futura” Mid. -2 a.m.: Russ Waddell Music” Sherrill “On the Count of Noon -2 p.m.: Andrew Mid.-1 a.m.: Josh with Johnny Skruggs” 5 p.m.: Sandy Lesberg & “Late Night Full Plate” 2-4 p.m.: Anne Gessler Twee” TUESDAY Miller “Dr. Wurtzel- Specht “Six Degrees of 8-10 p.m.: Keyan Shahdi Richael Faithful “Sandy 10-Noon: Bret Coates “The “Music from Under Anneʼs 4-6 p.m.: Roy Lenn “The Baumʼs Amazing Talking Separation.” “Time Rotation” Lesbergʼs World” Session” Bed” MONDAY Power of Suggestion” Machine!” 1-2 a.m. David Sievers 10 p.m.-Mid.: Sean Fox “12 6-8 p.m.: Brian Kelley “The Noon-2 PM: Daryl 4-6 p.m.: Mika Mason 4-6 p.m.: Bohuslav Rattay 6-8 p.m.: Clayton Carr “The 6-8 p.m.: Chris Elko “120 “The Reagan Years” Step Program or, Now Hear Listening Session” Cameron “The Dogʼs “Naive Melody” “Colonial Classics” Clayton and Dave Show” British Minutes” Noon-2 p.m.: Eric Van This!” 8-10 p.m.: Amy Shields Bullocks”

listeners who may have found his can be discovered for the first ‘CROW’ previous albums a little dry. time by many listeners because a FROM PAGE 10 Itʼs amazing to think that pop culture star like Zach Braff Banhart, with four great albums used the song “One of These inviting you to dance to Banhartʼs already to his credit, is only Things First” in his movie, maybe Spanish tambourine rattling. With 24 years of age. Freak-folk is Banhart and other psychedelic plenty of manifestations of his unlistenable to many musicgoers, folksters can make some money wide range of influences, along but if Banhart keeps progressing and expand their soundscapes with his own distinct style and the way he has, we may see even more. grace, Banhart has managed to music like this — music that is We can only hope that put together an album that moves so culturally rich and texturally Devendra Banhartʼs personal life well and is never monotonous, interesting — earn more than just doesnʼt follow the same paths immediately appealing to new critical acclaim. If Nick Drake that Smith or Drakeʼs did.

ally came on and the impending threat of rain). What WEEZER did this all add up to? FROM PAGE 10 Well, in brief: shirtless men jumping from street- lights into the crowd, rednecks scaling the 40-foot many, many other days after that, pre-partying to tower erected in the middle of the plaza, bottles fly- “Pity,” walking the beach with “My Best Friend” and ing everywhere (resulting in a bloody face for one waiting for “Drugs” to finish before heading up to bouncer in front of us), people passing out left, right Scottish Lit. By the time I finally got hold of a hard and center, bruises all over my body from jackass copy of the album — from Amazon.co.uk, natch — I crowd surfers (I accidentally slapped The Braveryʼs already knew all the lyrics, all the “oh-oh-oh”s and lead singer Sam Endicott in the face after he dove all the thrashing mid-song solos by heart. The logi- into the crowd during “An Honest Mistake,” thinking cal question, of course, was when I would get to sing he was one of the errant rogues), me sharing words along with those “oh-oh-oh”s in person. with more than one person trying to make it to the Enter the reason why, in that conversation with front row, an ever increasing sense of dehydration Tristan, I knew thereʼd never be a moment I would and the ever decreasing ability to breathe. back down from my role as all around defender of Then Weezer came on. They opened with “Say the Weez: over the summer, I drove 10 hours from It Ainʼt So,” played a killer “Fall Together,” played Washington, D.C. to Atlanta, Georgia with my so- “Photograph,” “No One Else” and some others. I lost not-equally-obsessed girlfriend (bless her) just to see my voice yelling along to “El Scorcho.” Then the the boys play a free show in the middle of the city. band ripped into “Perfect” and, go figure,the crowd The story, of course, does not end there. We then had went insane. So insane, in fact, that neither my girl- to (had to) stand outside in the unkind Atlanta sun friend nor I could move. At all. The bouncers had for a solid six hours just to secure prime front row to pull us out, and, in a wonderfully karmic twist, I spots as the crowd swelled behind us to the eventual lost my flip flops — again.We watched the rest of 30,000 that were estimated to attend (so weʼve got the concert on a big screen nearby, and I walked the 30,000 people behind us). I should also mention here streets of Atlanta Underground barefoot, clutching that the event was sponsored by Budweiser (so weʼve a (now framed) limited edition Make Believe tour got about 30,000 mildly to wildly drunk people poster in one hand and a cup of water in the other. behind us). I should also mention that there were If thatʼs not argument enough for loving every- three — yes, three — bands slotted to play before thing my favorite band in the world does, I donʼt Weezer, and that a thunderstorm started to move know what is. Iʼm headed back to the Patriot Center toward us in the late afternoon as these bands played again to see them Oct. 10. Wish me luck. (so weʼve got the 30,000 drunkards behind us, the Kyle Meikle is a Reviews Editor. He apologizes to additional three hours of waiting before Weezer actu- Sam Endicott but still thinks The Bravery kind of sucks.

Flat Hat Reviews.

Celebrity endorsed. Seriously.*

*Not really. But we love celebs. If you do too, consider writing for us. E-mail [email protected] for details. September 23, 2005 Page 12 [email protected] BRIEFS Diverse Support group Whether you are a part of a group that wants to contribute by organizing an event, or just Women Group The Gay Student Support want to do anything you can to Do you have something Group is open to all members of help, contact Lauren Grainger at The Diverse Women Group is the college community, both gay [email protected], or stop by room an organization for women who and straight. Discussions range to rant about — 157 at the Campus Center. Check identify themselves as members from dating to history to politics out the website for more info: of an ethnic minority group on to love and family. The group www.wm.edu/projectrelief. a biting commentary? campus. The group is intended to meets from 8 to 9 p.m. in the address the ramifi cations of being Catacombs student lounge under a shocking exposé? minority women at the College Catholic Campus Ministries Make a and build a supportive network Chapel on Richmond Road every for group members. The group Monday night that undergraduate Difference Day will help participants explore, classes are in session. There are Submit letters to the Editor and Opinions in a safe environment, personal, only two rules: the group respects Sign-ups for Make a Difference academic, spiritual, family and/or columns to The Flat Hat by 5 p.m. Tuesday everyoneʼs right to privacy and Day have started. Stop by Room relationship concerns that may be promises each other confi dential- 157 of the Campus Center to sign and your work could be in print on Friday. interfering with a sense of bal- ity about who attends, and no one up a group and be a part of the E-mail letters to [email protected]. ance and well-being. is ever required to say whether campus-wide day of service Oct. If you are interested in join- theyʼre gay or straight. For more 15. Get involved in one of our ing, please contact Dr. Carina information, contact the faculty day-long projects at one of about Sudarsky-Gleiser or Dr. Felicia moderator, George Greenia at a dozen community agencies. Brown-Anderson at x3620 x3676 or [email protected]. or via [email protected] and [email protected]. Soccer coaches W&M house needed Boathouse open The second annual W&M House is slated to begin this James City County Parks The Lake Matoaka Boathouse month. Getting involved is easy. and Recreation is looking for is now open. Come rent a canoe or Get a group of friends together very positive and enthusiastic kayak for free with your student and contract Abbitt Woodall at volunteers to be coaches for their ID card (one boat per ID). Hours 221-0225 (off-campus) at least youth soccer program. Contact of operation for fall 2005 are two weeks in advance of when Dan Smith, James City County Monday, Wednesday and Friday you want to help. parks and recreation operations from 3 to 5 p.m. and Saturday coordinator, at 259-5378. and Sunday from 2 to 5 p.m. First come, fi rst served. Alcohol, Book sale Prospective fi shing and swimming are not permitted. The Lake Matoaka The Friends of the Library students Boathouse will be closed during organization is holding their inclement weather. annual book sale from 10 a.m. Students are needed to host high to 5 p.m. tomorrow and 1 to 5 school seniors during Prospective Crop Walk p.m. Sept. 25 in the Botetourt Weekend, Sept. 30 to Oct. 2. Gallery in Earl Gregg Swem Anyone who hosts a prospective Library. Hardcover books are $4; Walkers are sponsored to student will recieve an additional paperbacks are $1. Everything discount on a Busch Gardens walk 5K to promote awareness will be half price Sept. 25. of hunger issues and raise money ticket. Hosts will need to attend for Church World Service. Crop one of two training sessions, Sept. Walk is going to be held Oct. 16 26 at 7:30 p.m. or Sept. 28 at 5 at 2 p.m. (registration begins at Project relief p.m., both of which are in Blow 1:30). The walk begins and ends 201. The residence hall that hosts at Williamsburg United Methodist Help victims of Hurricane the most prospective students will Church, 514 Jamestown Road. Katrina by participating in Project win a pizza party. To sign up, go For more information, e-mail Relief, coordinated by the Offi ce to http://www.wm.edu/admission/ Allie Rosner at [email protected]. of Student Volunteer Services. wmlarsvp.php.

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GuerillaMarketing/ SPRING BREAK - Early Promoters needed! Leisure Booking Specials - FREE Tours needs students to Meals & Drinks - $50 promote our Spring Break Deposit - travel packages on campus 800-234-7007 www.end- and with local vendors. lesssummertours.com September 23, 2005 Page 13 Find out who explores the [email protected] great outdoors. See SPORTS RACKET, page 14. Alumnus signs Tribe makes Nike contract Blue Hen soup BY ANDREW PIKE THE FLAT HAT BY JAKE REEDER THE FLAT HAT Hours after finishing seventh in the 5,000-meter race at the USA Track and Field Championships and clocking a personal best of 13 minutes 25.87 W&M volleyball defended its turf well over seconds, Ed Moran, ʼ03, found his whole world transformed. the past week, winning four of six home match- “The race really changed where I was going with my life,” Moran said. es, including he CAA league opener against Moran received calls from Nike, Reebok and adidas, all wanting to spon- Virginia Commonwealth University. sor him. He signed with Nike and was guaranteed a base salary, travel bud- After losing to get, loads of Nike apparel and an incentive package. Moran will receive cash Look ahead the University of bonuses for running certain times or finishing near the top of certain races. Delaware twice last “I never thought I would end up with a shoe contract,” Moran said. Who: season, the team His plans for a post-collegiate career were in Washington, D.C., not North- expected a tough Williamsburg. With a masterʼs degree in public policy from the College, eastern match. Instead, Moran had lined up a job and a place to live in D.C. Instead, he became University the Tribe crushed a Nike-sponsored athlete and a W&M assistant menʼs and womenʼs cross Date: the Blue Hens 3- country/track coach who also works in James City Countyʼs planning depart- Today 0. Seniors Mandy ment. Where: Mayo and Kate These changes occurred in large part due to the NCAA granting him a Boston, Mass. Woffindin excelled sixth year of eligibility. With this unique opportunity, Moran set his sights Time: on offense, record- on earning All-American status and qualifying for the USA Track and Field 7 p.m. ing a total of 16 Championships at 5,000-m. kills each as the “I wanted to have a successful season. I really wanted to take advantage Tribe outscored of the sixth year of eligibility given to me by the NCAA,” Moran said. the Blue Hens 90-62. The first game was the He started his season well, running 14:10.40 for 5,000-m and achieving closest, a tit-for-tat as the two teams traded a NCAA Regional qualifying time at the Raleigh Relays. Moran followed the lead back and forth. The Tribeʼs big break this performance with two personal bests: 8:06.13 over 3,000-m at the Duke came when senior Megan Eisenman spiked the Invitational and 13:39.70 for 5,000-m at Stanfordʼs Cardinal Invitational. ball to make the score 28-27. Despite calling In his final NCAA race, Moran finished seventh with a time of 13:46.99 a timeout, the Blue Hens never regained their against a field of competitors that included four other future professional momentum, and the Tribe ended up scoring runners. Nevertheless, he said he felt he had a better race in him. another two points to end the game 30-27. “I was really disappointed. This yearʼs field was much stronger. I let The second game saw an entirely differ- myself get intimidated,” Moran said. ent Delaware team take the court. Clearly SARAH GRAYCE ✦ THE FLAT HAT Still, he had one more chance to race at the USATF Championships. shaken from their loss of the previous game, The Tribe volleyball team sets up for a smash during a previous game against St. Johnʼs “Looking back, I thought best-case was lower 13:30s, high 13:20s,” the Blue Hens made several errors, allow- University. Last Friday, the Tribe crushed the University of Delaware 3-0. Moran said. ing W&M to jump out to an early 16-3 Tim Broe, two-time defending USA outdoor 5,000-m champion, lead. Junior Kathleen Hawley anchored the opening point, it appeared as though this last “This is a big win. Not only is Delaware took the race out fast and helped pull Moran through 3,000-m in a new Tribeʼs defense with several diving saves of game might be as big a blowout as the previous a conference team, but they beat us twice last personal best of 8:04, leading him to a seventh-place finish with a time tough spikes. For a while, it looked as though one. The Blue Hens struck back with strength, year,” Hill said. “It feels good.” of 13:25.87. Delaware might manage to come back from though, and in no time the Tribe was barely The team followed up Saturday with a disap- The Nike contract came, and Moran decided to continue training under the early mistakes, but the Tribeʼs lead proved hanging on to a 5-4 lead. The team quickly pointing loss to the undefeated Towson University W&M menʼs cross country/track & field Head Coach Alex Gibby. too much: the final score was 30-16. found its groove and won eight of the next 10 team 1-3. Senior April Hoffmanʼs match-leading “Gibby and I have felt each other out the past two years and came up with When asked about the difference between the points to bring the score to 13-6. With practi- 15 kills and 15 digs could not overcome a strong a formula that works for me,” Moran said. first and second games, Mayo said that the team cally flawless play from Mayo and Woffindin Towson offense. The error-ridden match against Moranʼs current training cycle ends with the USA Cross Country identified Delaware sophomore Colleen Walsh (each recorded just one error in the third game), the Tigers left the Tribe with a 2-1 league record. Championships in February 2006, and his aspirations for future successes are as their biggest threat and shut her down. the Tribe easily maintained that lead all the way Despite getting off to a rocky start, the team has high, as he plans to compete on the European track circuit next summer. With a cry of “do it again,” W&M took the through with a six-point rally at the end to make found its footing, winning five of its last seven “You want to make that world championship team, that Olympic team. court in the third game. When Woffindin started the final score 30-19. Head Coach Debbie Hill games. The Tribe plays tonight in Boston, Mass. Those are the ultimate goals of professional athletes,” Moran said. the game off well with an easy spike to win the couldnʼt have been happier. against Northeastern University. Background photo courtesy of www.mensracing.com. Women’s tennis slams competition in W&M invitational

BY HEATHER IRELAND est batch of players on the W&M courts have of Texas Tech University in the semifinals. THE FLAT HAT the formidable combination of potential and Doubles play continued with Muth and Zidek ability. defeating the University of North Carolina, Last weekend the womenʼs tennis team “Our team is very young with five freshmen. Chapel Hill Tarheelʼs doubles team, ranked competed at the 13th annual W&M Invitational, However, our freshmen are extremely tough 16th in the nation, 8-6. Though Muth and Zidek in which the girls went up against some of the and very hard workers,” Muth said. “They have were not able to win the semifinals as well. countryʼs top tennis teams, with both rookies the right mind set that will make this team a Kasztelaniec and Yang won their quarterfinals and returning play- tough competitor for any school this year.” against the University of Maryland 8-2 and Look ahead ers alike stepping up In singles play, Cash made it through the continued on to win the semifinals for their to the line and mak- first round with a 1-6, 6-2, 6-2 win and con- flight, 9-7, over Penn State. What: ing the play com- tinued her winning streak in the quarterfinals, Fritz-Krockow was the only player on the Cissie Leary Invitational petitive. There was a defeating her Virginia Tech opponent 6-1, 6-2. W&M team to make it to finals, which she Date: large turnout in sup- De Guzman also made it all the way through won 6-3, 7-6 (4), 6-1 against the University of Today port of the team. to the semifinals after a first round 7-5, 4-6, Richmondʼs top player. Muth and Kasztelaniec Where: Friday started 6-4 win over Brown and a quarterfinals 6-4, both won their consolation matches 6-4, 6-3 Philadelphia, Pa. out with W&M win- 6-3 win over Pennsylvania State University. against Marshall and 6-2, 6-0 against Boston ning each of its three Muth, ranked 46th nationally in singles, won College, respectively. Cash and de Guzman doubles matches, her consolation match 6-0, 6-3 against U.Va., also racked up a win in their consolation beginning with senior Megan Muth and fresh- and freshman Emmy Fritz-Krockow won the doubles match with a 9-8 (3) defeat over their man Barb Zidek defeating Marshall University first round over Penn State to continue on in U.Va. opponent. 8-4. Freshman Lauren Cash and junior Alex de the quarterfinals the next day as Cash and de “This was our first tournament, and weʼre Guzman came out on top against the University Guzman continued on to the semifinals. using it as a learning experience,” Muth said. of Virginiaʼs doubles team with an 8-4 win as Saturday, Muth won another consolation “Now we are aware of the things we have to well, with freshman Klaudyna Kasztelaniec match against Duke University 7-6 (4), 2-6, work on, but we are also aware of our strengths and senior Lingda Yang wrapping up the dou- 6-2, making her one of only two W&M players such as the mental toughness everyone on our bles matches with an 8-4 defeat of Brown to win their singles matches on the second day team possesses.”

University. of competition. The other, Fritz-Krockow, won The team continues competition this NICOLE SCHEER ✦ THE FLAT HAT With each of the winning doubles teams her quarterfinal match against Penn State 6-2, weekend at the Cissie Leary Invitational in Freshman Emmy Fritz-Krockow stretches for a serve. Fritz-Krockow having a freshman in the pairing, the fresh- 4-6, 6-2 and followed that with a 6-2, 7-5 defeat Philadelphia, Pa. won her fi nals match against University of Richmondʼs top player. Professional sports leagues send confusing, mixed messages

After following professional and college play, who is eligible, salaries and contracts, free and two fellow Pacers, Stephen Jackson and everybody. But what is going to stop something sports for almost my entire life, I have noticed agency, yet it appears that the people who make Jermaine OʼNeal, for 30 and 25 games, respec- like this from happening in the future? A statement one common theme that runs through each all these rules donʼt have time to set up clearer tively. Six other players were suspended for less- on NBA.com reads, “First, we must redefine the FROM THE league. They do not know how to fine and punish standards for disciplinary action. er periods, four of them for only one game. What bounds of acceptable conduct for fans attending SIDELINES players who are out of line. It strikes me as iron- Letʼs be honest. You canʼt predict where and paying the price really meant in this situation our games and resolve to permanently exclude ic; they are experts at calling press conferences when the events that require leagues to pun- was David Stern making sure the NBA appeared those who overstep those bounds.” and announcing their decisions, yet they canʼt ish players will occur. Who in the NBAʼs front to crack down on violence in basketball. It is The players should always be held account- seem to create punishments that fit the crimes. office , or the general public for that matter, ever a shame that this is what happened, but given able. The NBA sends a muddled message to I tried to see if each of the major professional thought a massive player brawl like the one in the poor response by the NBA and other sports people when it arbitrarily punishes players almost leagues, including the NBA, NFL, MLB or the 2004 Detroit Pistons-Indiana Pacersʼ game leagues, it is not in the least bit surprising. immediately, yet ignores the underlying causes NHL, had anything on their websites that would would have broken out? They can, however, Assaulting someone on the street is a crime of aggression, refuses to redefine which crime indicate what sort of offense would lead to what create a better way to set up the effective punish- and is dealt with in a court of law. So why is should fit which punishment and then focuses sort of fine. Of course I did not find anything that ment of those involved. assaulting someone inside a sports arena some- almost primarily on the fans. was truly discernible. I did get laundry lists on Last Novemberʼs NBA fight was a good how different than anywhere else? I think sports The players are the ones who are supposed to other websites of every single time each league example of what should not happen. Instead of leagues need to re-evaluate how they punish have a high level of professionalism. If the NBA Carl has fined someone, who it was, the date of the using due process and waiting longer to judge players and allow players to present their cases cannot control player conduct by re-evaluating Siegmund offense and so on. However, I saw no justifica- which players should have received which before doing so. The fans involved had to do this, the haphazard punishment system that is current- tion whatsoever why one player received a cer- punishment, NBA commissioner David Stern so why not the players? ly in place, then we will continue to see fights in tain punishment compared to another. announced almost immediately and with an iron Additionally, the NBA said it was going to be the future. Professional sports leagues have so many fist who would pay the price. Within two days, even tougher on those who violate discipline in the Carl Siegmund is the sports columnist for The policies that are clearly written about the rules of Stern banned Indianaʼs Ron Artest for the season future. Of course, they had to say this to placate Flat Hat. He suggests people play fair. DID YOU KNOW ... ? The material between the kayaker and the kayak is called a “spray skirt.” Usually made of neoprene,

it allows for fl exibility while still keeping water out. Sports ACKET — PADDLING.ABOUT.COM 14 R SPORTS ✦ SEPTEMBER 23, 2005

Outdoors club — by matthew a. nolan Sports Life Sports: Get Involved Calendar

When it comes to the outdoors, sophomore Sept. 23 to Sept. 30 Lewis Blake is a pro. A former Boy Scout whoʼs been camping since he was 11 years- — compiled by sarah kalin old, Blake says he is content to sit outside with his bare feet on the grass and play guitar. He spent his summer hiking out west. Heʼs a natu- Saturday ral fit for the W&M outdoors club, in which ✦ If you enjoy the glorious sport of volleyball and just happen to heʼs participated for two years. have an obsession with automobiles from classic television, then The outdoors club is the perfect place not Hempstead, N.Y. is the place for you today. Both the Batmobile and only for the novice and the expert, but also for the Flintmobile will be there to cheer on the Tribe at 7 p.m. You those who are simply seeking the company of should be, too. friends in an outdoor setting. The club is laid back and focuses on having fun and the plea- sure derived from exploring nature hands-on. Sunday “If you have a love for the outdoors, sitting in the grass, rocking in a kayak, looking up at ✦ Field hockey and womenʼs soccer are both offering on-campus the stars — weʼre the club go to,” Blake said. shows today. Field hockey faces off with Virginia Commonwealth The clubʼs trips are as varied as the word University at 1 p.m. at Busch Field and womenʼs soccer takes on “outdoor” is broad. This yearʼs first trip was University of Wyoming at 2p.m. at Albert-Daly Field. canoeing on Lake Matoaka, and more trips are already being planned. According to the clubʼs website, a hik- Monday ing trip to Old Rag Mountain in Shenandoah ✦ Pirates have swords. If youʼd like to follow in their scurvy footsteps, National Park is planned for Saturday, Oct. come out to fencing practice in the W&M Hall fencing room from 3 15. Other tentatively planned trips include to 6 p.m. hiking more Appalachian trails, a trip to Charlottesville and even spelunking (cave- COURTESY PHOTO ✦ OUTDOORS CLUB diving) in Blacksburg with fellow outdoors- Tuesday men from Virginia Tech. Blake said that a whitewater rafting trip is in the works for the ✦ At 7 p.m. menʼs soccer will be playing away at the University of spring. Maryland, College Park. Come out for some support. The outdoors club is friendly and especially welcoming to newcomers. No prior outdoor experience is required for membership. Wednesday “Weʼre here to help you get the most out of ✦ If scurrying up walls is your style, then come out for rock climbing the club,” Blake said. “You go on the trips you club at Adair Gymnasium climbing wall from 8:30 to 10:45 p.m. want to go on.” The outdoor club isnʼt limited to long trips, either; there are activities planned throughout Thursday the year for the enjoyment of all of its mem- bers. The club also sponsors many smaller ✦ Come on out for Shotokan karate practice in Adair Gymnasium from trips in addition to the big excursions. These 7 to 9 p.m. You get to yell, hit and wear pajamas. shorter jaunts are usually local and build and maintain interest in events such as biking, camping and hiking. According to Blake, the Friday outdoor club is planning to have more of these ✦ Today is a buffet of options for the Tribe fan. At 7 p.m. two battles smaller events this year. begin: womenʼs soccer plays Georgia State on Albert-Daly Field, and Senior Amy Anderson has been the presi- volleyball takes on George Mason University at W&M Hall. dent of the outdoor club for two years. She is currently in the process of delegating adminis- COURTESY PHOTO ✦ OUTDOORS CLUB trative duties to a handful of underclassmen as she prepares to graduate this year. With 30 to BOX SCORES 40 members attending each meeting, schedul- Menʼs Golf ing trips and organizing events are difficult Raines Development Intercollegiate 13th of 14 Sept. 19-20 tasks. Blake is one of five students rising to Womenʼs Volleyball responsibility within the club. The other co- University of Delaware W 3-0 Sept. 16 presidents are sophomores Paul Kuenker, Towson University L 1-3 Sept. 17 Janelle Richardson, Sarah Grayce and Martha Morris. Womenʼs Field Hockey The outdoor club offers other things besides Yale University W 4-0 Sept. 16 the camaraderie and adventure of kayaking University of Richmond T 0-0 Sept. 18 and cave-diving. “I do [the outdoors club] for the peace of Menʼs Soccer mind,” Blake said. Virginia Military Institute W 2-1 Sept. 17 Personal satisfaction also plays a big part. Wading through 50-degree water with friends, Womenʼs Soccer climbing a mountain and navigating rapids Old Dominion University L 0-1 Sept. 16 are both thrilling and calming, offering the West Virginia University T 0-0 Sept. 18 individual the opportunity to say, “Iʼve done that.” Football University of Rhode Island L 29-48 Sept. 17 The outdoors club meets every two weeks. COURTESY PHOTO ✦ OUTDOORS CLUB Club dues are light at $15 per semester to CENTER AND TOP: The outdoors club enjoyed a hiking trip to Old Rag Mountain in Shenan- Menʼs Tennis cover individual costs for food and travel doah National Park last school year. This yearʼs trip to Old Rag is planned for Oct. 15. ABOVE: Jarret Chirico (U.Va.) d. Zuck (W&M) L 3-8 Sept. 18 expenses. The next outdoor club meeting is Sophomore Lewis Blake paddles around Lake Matoaka Sept. 17. Plans are in the works for a Monday at 7 p.m. spelunking trip with students from Virginia Tech, more hiking and a trip to Charlottesville.