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The Power of Good: True Stories of Great Kindness by Total Strangers

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The ABC of XYZ: Understanding the Global Generations, UNSW Press From explaining the labels and quantifying the numbers to outlining the definitive events of each generation, the best-selling The ABC of XYZ is a comprehensive and fascinating look at the generations. www.theABCofXYZ.com

Word Up: A Lexicon and Guide to Communicating in the 21st Century, Halstead Press More than a comprehensive lexicon of Australian youth slang, Word Up looks at language, how it is changing, and the factors influencing this change with chapters on youth slang, literacy, manners, political jargon and more. www.wordup.net.au the power of good

True stories of great kindness from total strangers

Compiled by Mark McCrindle with Emily Wolfinger Published by Hybrid Publishers Melbourne Victoria Australia © McCrindle Research 2011 This publication is copyright. Apart from any use as permitted under the Copyright Act 1968, no part may be reproduced by any process without prior written permission from the publisher. Requests and enquiries concerning reproduction should be addressed to the Publisher, Hybrid Publishers, PO Box 52, Ormond 3204. First published 2011 National Library of Australia Cataloguing-in-Publication data: Author: McCrindle, Mark. Title: The power of good: true stories of great kindness from total strangers / compiled by Mark McCrindle with Emily Wolfinger.

ISBN: 9781921665226 (pbk.) Subjects: Kindness – Anecdotes. Interpersonal relations – Moral and ethical aspects. Inspiration – Anecdotes. Other Authors/Contributors: Wolfinger, Emily.

Dewey Number: 177.7

Cover design by Reader’s Digest

Printed in Australia by Trojan Press Contents

About Us xiii

Acknowledgments xvi

Foreword: Tim Fischer AC, Former Deputy Prime Minister xvii

1. The Power of Good 1

2. Acts of Kindness in Hardship and Misfortune 31 Louise Hall, Reporter, the Sydney Morning Herald Food for Thought 31 Anton Enus, News Presenter, SBS World News Comradeship at the Comrades Marathon 34 David Richardson, Reporter, “Today Tonight” The “Mummy’s Boys” 37 Simon Reeve, Presenter, “Sunrise” A Cardiologist with a Heart 40 Susanne Gervay, Author With Pain Comes the Joy of Kindness 42

v Rick Ardon, News Presenter, Channel 7 Perth A Life-saving Act of Kindness 45 Elizabeth Brew, Secretary of Adoption Support Network Origins Inc NSW Where There is Life There is Hope 47 Sue Curby, Unsworn Member of Federal Police Kindness in the Face of Death 49 Penny Burke, Director of Essence Communications I am Not a Runner; I Just Occasionally Jog 50 Terry Hawkins, People in Progress, Terry Hawkins Enterprises The Story Behind the Face: When Hearts Collide 54 Janice Davies, Motivational Speaker and Author The Angel Wore a White Cardigan 58 The Reverend Graham Long, Wayside Chapel, Kings Cross A Kiss from Heaven 61 Peter H. Devin, Author, California USA A Bucket List Dream Come True 64 Ken B. Marslew AM, “Enough is Enough” Kindness in Dark Places 68 Father Chris Riley, Youth off the Streets Rod’s Story 70 Simon Rountree, Camp Quality There is Much to See if We Can Close our Eyes for a Moment 74

vi Elissa Scott, Recruitment Agent From Disappointment to Delight 76 Sarah Garnett, Footpath Library Superman in Disguise 78 Joy Robertson, Homemaker The Kindness of Strangers on Country Roads 80 Leanne Duerkop, Homemaker A Brave Kindness 82 Lindy Jones, Professional Speaker The Bumpy Road of Kindness 84 Stephen Murby, Cystic Fibrosis Victoria Of Gift and Grace 87 Tracey Spicer, Former News Presenter, Channel 10 Sydney Solace in Grief 90 Blake Beattie, Founder of International Pay it Forward Day Paying it Forward 93 Darryl Blake, Best-selling Author Healing Moments 95 Anthony Ackroyd, Cast Member of “Thank God It’s Friday!” Little Things are Big Things Too 98 Jean Kittson, Writer, Actor and Comedian Summer Car Park 101

vii Helen Dwyer, Relationships and Communications Manager, Hope Street The Precious Gift of Hope – Andy’s Story 103

3. Acts of Kindness while Abroad 105 Marian Arnold, ABC Classic FM My Knight in Black and White 105 Cecilia Dart-Thornton, Author Kindness is Contagious 107 Tim Fischer AC, Former Deputy Prime Minister Kindness of a Train-travelling Stranger: All at Sea near the Holy See 109 Amanda McLeay, Weather Presenter, Channel 10 Brisbane Our Oral Angel 112 Shane Stuart Ellis, Equity Protect Business Giving Gives Back 114 Justine Davies, Columnist for The Australian Sometimes it’s the Smallest, Trivial Things that Stick in the Mind … 117 Emma Ayres, ABC Classic FM Pyjamas in Iran 121

viii 4. Acts of Kindness in the Formative Years 124 Morris Iemma, Former Premier of NSW Goodness is All Around Us 124 Geraldine Brooks, Pulitzer Prize Winner Miss Glasby 126 Professor David de Kretser AC, Governor of Victoria Welcome to Melbourne 129 Gavin Wanganeen, Former Captain AFL Team Port Adelaide A Legacy of Kindness 131 Natarsha Belling, Channel 10 News Sydney An Act of Kindness I Will Never Forget 133 Eric Bailey, Former NBA Player Abandonment to Abundance 136 Professor Anthony Klein, The University of Melbourne Mistaken Identity 138

5. Acts of Kindness to Those Less Fortunate 140 Libby Gleeson, Author A Surprising Act of Kindness 140 Peta Farquhar, Wesley Mission Happy Blankets 142 Glenda Rouxel, Author Forbidden Fruit 145

ix Di Knowles, Teacher Ten Cents for a Hero 147 Robyn Henderson, “Networking to Win” A Random Act of Kindness in Reverse 149 Professor Margaret Reynolds, Former Senator for Queensland Opportunity through Anonymous Generosity 153 Glenn Wheeler, Presenter of “The Morning Show” Connor – The Kid from Coffs 156 Professor Andrea Hull AO, Former Director of the Victorian College for the Arts Kindness without Limits 159

6. Acts of Kindness in Emergencies 162 George Donikian, Channel 10 News Melbourne “Be Prepared”: Scouts to the Rescue 162 Brigid Foster, Mother Kindness in Phuket 165 Sarah Degabriele, Account Executive Flowers from a Stranger 168 Reverend Professor James Haire, Charles Sturt University Kindness Has No Boundaries 169 Phillip Adams AO, Author, Filmmaker, Broadcaster Thank you, Shaun 172

x Andrew Fraser MP, Member for Coffs Harbour NSW From Loss Comes Kindness 176 Pru Goward MP, State Member for Goulburn NSW Mr Nice Bloke 178 Graham Foster, International Speaker The Awesome Generation 181 Michael Groom, Professional Mountaineer A Helping Hand 185 Chris Gray, Sky News Business From Entrepreneur to Philanthropist 191 Stephen Dale, Motivational Speaker When Strangers Become Savers 195 Professor Henry Burger AO, Prince Henry’s Institute of Medical Research Blown Away After a Blowout 198 Peter FitzSimons, Best-selling Author The Backpacker Brotherhood 201 Jess Williams, Bartender Heartlessness then Humanity 203

7. Acts of Kindness for No Particular Reason 205 Sheridan Voysey, Author A Sweet-sounding Love Song 205

xi Peter Buckley, Keynote Speaker The Glow from Poppies 208 Jules Faber, Australian Cartoonists’ Association A Man of His Words 210 Nola Smart, Pharmacy Assistant Mrs Shmegg 213 Sara Groen, Weather Presenter, Channel 7 Sydney A Child’s Cosy Gift of Kindness 215 Stephanie Streatfeild, Student My Genie with No Lamp 218

Your Story 220

Thank Your Kindly Stranger 221

Appendix 222

Endnotes 229

xii About Us

Background and Purpose The idea for this book came about when my wife Ruth and I were backpacking as a young couple and were the recipients of several acts of kindness from strangers. It was Ruth who came up with the book concept, as we sat talking in a pine forest on Kangaroo Island, reflecting on the generosity of so many fellow Aussies who are readily prepared to help strangers as we had just experienced. I spend much of my professional life researching people – whether by facilitating focus groups or conducting national surveys, and what I consistently find is that most people embody the Australian stereotype of lending a hand – whether it be to a mate or a stranger. The perception of worsening violence and less kindness is largely based on crime coverage in daily media reports, and is refuted by solid research. The reality is that nationally, and for the majority of Australians personally, we experience far more acts of good than ill – indeed, as shown later in the book, by a factor of 38 to 1.

xiii This book is a small testament to the power of good in our society. These seventy true stories of kindness from strangers are just a sample of the millions of such stories that could fill volumes like this. Many of our contributors, though not all, are prominent Australians. Their stories are further recognition that individual achievement rarely occurs without a helping hand from others. After all, we call this the lucky country – we don’t take the credit for it all ourselves. We value independence in a community-minded way. We hope you find this book further evidence of the power and life of the community spirit that shines so strongly in the Australian psyche. In these times of great change and incredible diversity we all know that when adversity strikes, whether in the form of bushfires, floods or international conflict, there’ll be a fellow Aussie there to help out. It’s the tradition of the digger, the character of mateship, and the enduring power of good. This book was written and compiled by Mark McCrindle with Emily Wolfinger of McCrindle Research. Mark McCrindle is a social researcher with an international reputation for tracking the emerging trends and analysing the diverse generations. He is the Director of not-for-profit organisation, the Australian Leadership Foundation, as well as McCrindle Research whose clients include over 100 multinational organisations. His highly valued research and reports have developed his renown as a futurist, demographer and social commentator.

xiv Emily Wolfinger is a published writer and has freelanced for a variety of publications. As a freelancer, Emily enjoyed writing about some of the big issues of our times. At McCrindle Research Emily translates social and generational research into publishable form both for internal and external clients. Mark and Emily are the authors of the generational tome, The ABC of XYZ: Understanding the Global Generations (UNSW Press – www.theABCofXYZ.com).

McCrindle Research

McCrindle Research exists to conduct world-class research and to communicate its insights in innovative ways. You will find out more about our research agency at: www.mccrindle.com.au

Supporting Charity You have already done good just by holding this book in your hand! One dollar from every book published goes to the work of the Australian charity, Hope Street (www.hopestreet.org.au), who look after some of our cities’ most marginalised people. Daily the team at Hope Street dedicate themselves to supporting and empowering those in need, and in doing so they show the power of good.

xv Acknowledgments

Our heartfelt thanks to all of our generous contributors: without your stories, there would be no book! A special “thank you” to Tim Fischer, who contributed not only a story but also wrote the foreword to this book. Thank you also to Josephine Brouard, Sue Carney, Louise Waterson and the team from Reader’s Digest for helping to make this book happen. Your support and input have made the difference to this important work. Thanks to Louis de Vries and Anna Rosner Blay at Hybrid Publishers for believing in the book and working so hard to make it happen in such a short timeframe. Thanks to that young “tradie” from Adelaide, whose act of kindness inspired this book. Finally, thanks to our 6,715,082 fellow Australians who, according to our research, engage in acts of kindness to strangers regularly. On behalf of all of these strangers, thank you!

xvi Foreword

Trappist Trend or Good Constructive Engagement: Which Way Forward? There is a certain joy in life in helping out, in helping good causes, as George Bernard Shaw once famously remarked. Further, there is a longer life for those who do so, as medical research has revealed time and time again. This book provides many examples of the power of doing good works, the betterment conferred in so many different ways and, on occasions, leading to the saving of lives. I salute my fellow contributors and I urge this troubled world to recall the example of the good Samaritan, to recall kinder and more generous times and look out for others. Otherwise, the individual self-centric society will dominate all, dominate to a greater extent than even now and so make for a more brittle and acidic society. Mighty author Mark Twain, of Mississippi fame and Mary MacKillop, Australia’s first saint, travelled the world in the last five decades of the 19th century and much of the first decade of the 20th century – different people with different purposes

xvii who caught many trains and had to take many voyages. In fact, in 1895 Mark Twain caught sixteen trains in Australia alone and, who knows, may have even travelled on the same train as Mary MacKillop. Both encountered much adversity in life but both bounced back. Interestingly enough, both wrote of much kindness willingly extended to them in their travels, be it in Adelaide, London or Rome. Imagine how less productive their lives might have been if all that travel and worldly experience was undertaken with headphones jammed firmly in each ear! In considering the mantra of extending a helping hand, of doing good because it is not only the right thing to do but ultimately in your broad community interest, it is time to reflect on very recent trends that have swung the world away from the useful friendly casual conversation. In the process, it has resulted in the creation of barriers of hesitation, higher thresholds before people intervene to help or just converse. The world is a global village in many ways; life is increasingly hectic for so many – east and west, rich and poor, with family and friend network support or without. The crunch is that the opportunity for the unexpected good conversation from outside your circle, sparking a laugh or an increase in useful knowledge or a creative idea or two, has been sharply curtailed. Why is this so in the so-called “social networking” world of Twitter, Facebook, email, iPod and all? Perhaps this is because free time and downtime when commuting or travelling or even just

xviii shopping locally has sharply reduced. The more communication, cellular phones and game gadgets, the more self-absorbed people are becoming and the less opportunities then exist for new interface with those outside the existing social circle. Take the grand conference circuits of today with every subject covered every which way, in locations large and small, exotic or sub-exotic, but even then it is often a case of smart speaker or lecturer in, then speak, then dash out without mixing. Or delegates in a controlled introductory mix on opening night followed by an overloaded agenda with subset fringe meetings, all resulting in little true “free wheeling” time. In short, today’s a world increasingly lacks the good conversation factor, with a paucity of motivation to break down natural barriers. This makes it harder to build good community fabric with an altruistic or “helping hand” culture to the fore. The extension of this may be a greater reluctance for people to feel involved in their community as they find it harder to make the personal contact required. This culture can create higher and higher thresholds of reluctance or hesitation that must be broached before people act, whether on a planned basis or in a suddenly arising situation. If we converse less, if we communicate less and less in a genuine way by whatever means, then we await further breakdown in family and community, and that is not good. Do I exaggerate? Maybe, but there is good news, too, as people start to find ways

xix to fight back and adjust to the new communication world we live in. This is what you will discover in soaking up the flavour of these writings, many which are counter-intuitive to the drift in the activities and affairs of humanity. This is particularly uplifting in a world where, too often, bile and spite dominate good cheer and thoughtful conversation. Maybe it should be called the “Trappist trend” after the contemplative order of monks who take an oath of silence. Lamartine wrote in 1840: “Civilisation is a battlefield, where many succumb in the cause of the advancement of all.” I would observe that civilisation is a battlefield in the 21st century and many will succumb, indeed many more will succumb if the “Power of Good” is not to the fore in every way. Unless you are a monk or committed to the worthy aim of a life of contemplation and prayer, the “Trappist trend” of non-communication can be destructive and deadly. The late and colourful Cardinal Jaime Sin, in a famous installation speech as Archbishop of Manila, said in 1974: “Everywhere walls are rising. When we wall somebody out, we also wall ourselves in. All of us are living in our separate worlds, enclosed in selfishness by our bigotry. The change must start in ourselves.” Amen, shalom and salaam to this farsighted statement. To help reverse this trend, each of us can make a difference in the way we choose to live our lives. So I challenge you, the next time you are boarding a flight or fast-train sector of more

xx than two hours, to first watch for the subtle and not-so-subtle use of body language being used to ensure zero conversation, passenger to passenger. I am not suggesting you engage in long conversations when clearly the other person has work to do or is not keen to engage – just the simple pleasantries are a start. Have courage, friends, before we lose the plot completely and continue down this path of egocentricity, celebrity obsession and growing loneliness. The alternative is so much better.

Tim Fischer AC Former Deputy Prime Minister

xxi

1. The Power of Good

Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.

Leo Buscaglia

On the nightly news we often hear stories of random, opportunistic crime perpetrated against strangers, but rarely do we hear stories of generosity and altruism from strangers. In an age which seems to be marked by “acts of senseless violence”, fed to us by the media on a daily basis, an act of random kindness from a stranger or someone not well known to us is heartwarming – and perhaps astonishing. There are, however, numerous examples of acts of kindness that never come to light and it is the purpose of this book to highlight some of the best of these – from both prominent and ordinary Australians. I was first inspired to compile The Power of Good several years ago after being the recipient of several acts of kindness when my

1 wife Ruth and I were backpacking around Australia. The idea came to us one dusk as we sat talking in a pine forest on Kangaroo Island. It had been a random act of kindness that had enabled us to make it to this beautiful part of the world. We had left our backpackers’ hotel to jump on our flight from Adelaide airport to Kangaroo Island. After getting off a local bus we found ourselves a couple of kilometres from the airport with little more than half an hour before our flight was due to depart. We were both toting heavy backpacks, there were no taxis around and we were walking as fast as we could. A young “tradie” in a ute pulled up next to us and said, “Are you guys alright?” We explained to him our predicament and he immediately jumped out, threw our backpacks in the back of his ute and drove us to Adelaide airport. We thanked him all we could and as he waved and drove away we were both struck by the generosity of his act. There was nothing in it for him and yet he chose to bless us; without his help we would have certainly missed our flight and lost our non-refundable fare. That man probably cannot even remember the deed he did, and yet his kindness inspired this book: this is the power of one, ordinary act of good! Indeed, the kindness of strangers does more than merely warm the heart; it transforms lives – over half of Australians (59%) say that if it weren’t for the kindness, support, encouragement and gifts given them by strangers over the years, their life would be in a worse place.1

2 The vulnerability of travel and the naivety of youth allowed us to experience numerous acts of kindness during our backpacking adventure around Australia. Far away from the comforts of home and the security of everyday life, we found ourselves more open to receiving help from strangers and often found we needed their help. A man we met at a Christmas carols service in Gove, Northern Territory lent us his Land Cruiser 4WD to explore the surrounding areas and then had us over for a BBQ at the end of the day. Twice we were offered accommodation at the houses of people we had just met. We found country Aussies swift to offer a lift or lend a hand. In our wider travels we found that kindness was not limited to Aussies. In Jerusalem we found ourselves at Christmas time with “no room at the inn”. We were offered accommodation with a Haitian American whom we met at the Damascus Gate. He then proceeded to cook us dinner and invited us to stay again when we had finished our travels. The numerous acts of kindness we experienced as a couple have only expanded since having children. Those small acts that perhaps seem insignificant make the world a beautiful place. The man who helps carry your groceries to the car when you have a baby in one arm and a screaming toddler in the other; the person who lets you in at the checkout because you only have a few items and they can see you are juggling tired children; the person who helps you lift your pram on to the train or who offers you their seat on the bus – these small everyday acts of kindness are significant

3 and impact the way we feel about life in our community. The blessing of kind strangers never ceases to surprise and warm our hearts. Finally, in 2010 we began to collect stories. We personally invited prominent Australians to submit their accounts of kindness, as well as receiving stories via our online panel AustraliaSpeaks.com. Submissions came in from people from all walks of life, including politicians, authors, radio and TV personalities, professional speakers, mums, students, teachers and business executives. All had amazing stories to tell. Here within you will find stories of kindness by people like Morris Iemma (former Premier of NSW), Professor David de Kretser AC (Governor of Victoria), Tim Fischer (Ambassador to the Holy See), David Richardson (reporter, Today Tonight) and Anton Enus (news presenter, SBS World News). The stories in this book recall varied acts of kindness – abroad, in misfortune, in emergencies, during the formative years, and those for no particular reason at all (“acts of random kindness”). For one Victorian mother, a stranger’s act of kindness saved her from becoming engulfed by the devastating tsunami that struck Kamala Beach, Phuket, in 2004. In the case of news presenter Natarsha Belling and author Geraldine Brooks, their act of kindness from a stranger inspired the direction of their careers and, ultimately, of their lives. Geraldine writes: “I never met Althea Glasby, but her kindness shaped my childhood.” Miss Glasby’s kindness to a

4 young Geraldine awoke within her a love of reading which led her to become an internationally renowned author and winner of the Pulitzer Prize in fiction in 2006. Natarsha recalls for us the act of kindness that cemented her passion for journalism and which also took her career to great heights. She opens: “I have a very special story to share where I experienced a wonderful random act of kindness that changed my life both personally and professionally.” For others, their stories were less dramatic but, still, touching and inspiring with a powerful lesson to convey. Author Libby Gleeson colourfully recalls how a group of punks who “… had the lot: spiked-up green hair, loads of metal piercing their faces, huge boots and ripped army clothing” gave more than loose change to an old, homeless man, while others chose to ignore him as he shuffled on by, begging. These stories prove to us that in a seemingly hostile world, kindness can come from anywhere, at any time and, indeed, from anyone – even a bunch of “punks”. Let brotherly love continue. Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.

Hebrews 12:1-2

Good versus evil It is easy to become disheartened with humanity when our daily catch-up with the world involves few uplifting stories.

5 In a recent survey drawn from our national online research panel (AustraliaSpeaks.com), 95% agreed that the media reports more negative than positive news and 93% felt that this gives the impression that there is more evil than good in the world. It comes as no surprise then that only 31% of Australians think there are more acts of kindness performed in the world than acts of terror. However, the reality is that more good goes on in the world than we are led to believe. In fact, off-screen it is good deeds that, by a large margin, outnumber the bad. Our research shows that for every reported act of road rage, violence or abuse, there are 38 acts of kindness towards strangers. Further, we found that 86% of Australians say they have gone out of their way to help a stranger in need, and 29.5% or 6.7 million Australians help a stranger “regularly”. Here are more statistics to illustrate this: 49% of Australians say they have been shown “significant” kindness by a stranger, while 29% say they have been the recipient of kindness from a stranger over the past week. Further testifying to the power of good over evil is the statistic that 64% of Australians “definitely agree” with the statement that “good is more powerful than evil” (only 6% disagree).2 What are we prepared to do? 1. Help a stranger to gain access or mobility: 88.5% 2. Help at an emergency: 87.5%

6 3. Help with shopping: 74% 4. Comfort a stranger: 69.5% 5. Help with money: 30%3

Kindness and the Aussie character There is an earthy humility in our self-image. In defining Australia, the most mentioned quality was that this is the land of the “fair go”. For many Australians this is about equality for all and giving everyone a go – 68% define “fair go” as “equality – same rules and benefits for all”. Additionally, almost one in four (23%) Australians believe that this “fair go” quality is about supporting those in need such as refugees.4 Our lives are increasingly busy and complex yet our culture is down-to-earth. As Dan from Victoria mentioned in the research: “Where else in the world can you call a complete stranger ‘mate’?” While mateship is a term traditionally used among men, its definition is now more inclusive – 70% of Australians agree with the statement that mateship is “helping anyone in need regardless of who they are”. The vast majority of males (80%) as well as females (74%) agree with this statement.5 Australia is collaborative rather than individualistic. This teamwork, a mix of mateship and altruism, sets us apart from other cultures. It gives us a sense of belonging to something bigger than the individual, and empowers a “can do” attitude. Ian from Belaire in South Australia states: “Australians are legendary for their generosity and ability to collaborate to get things done.

7 We also have a great sense of humour and a larrikin nature that endears us to all.” Whether at a street, city, state or national level, the Australian spirit unites us, not just to celebrate success, but also to battle adversity. Having experienced diverse and sometimes harsh environments and situations, Australians do not shy away from hardship, but bond together to tackle it. In the survey, Tim from Camberwell, Victoria, said: “What makes Australia great is the way we band together when things get tough.” The Australian values of mateship and a fair go have often been linked to our convict heritage, the 1850s gold rush, the trenches and battlefields of Gallipoli, our Judeo-Christian roots and, of course, the hardship endured by battlers, shearers and squatters in the harsh Australian bush. As our research shows, even in the 21st century, it’s still the essence of the Australian spirit. While these values are not confined to the Australian community, they are part of our national character and commonly celebrated on national holidays and in Australian literature, poetry and songs.

’Tis hardship, drought, and homelessness That teach those Bushmen kindness: The mateship born, in barren lands, Of toil and thirst and danger. “Shearers”, Henry Lawson

8 The famous Australian writer and poet, Henry Lawson, often called Australia’s “greatest writer”, once described Australia as “the Great Lone Land of magnificent distances and bright heat; the land of self-reliance, and never-give-in, and help-your-mate”. In his stories and poems, Lawson extolled the virtue of the person who, in the midst of adversity, typically drought and fire, stepped in to provide aid. Lawson understood mateship as helping in adversity, as “the instinct that irresistibly impels a thirsty, parched man, out on the burning sands, to pour out the last drop of water down the throat of a dying mate, where none save the sun or moon or stars may see”.6 Down on the ground the stockmen jumped And bared each brawny arm; They tore green branches from the trees And fought for Ross’s farm; And when before the gallant band The beaten flames gave way, Two grimy hands in friendship joined – And it was Christmas Day! “The Fire at Ross’s Farm”, Henry Lawson

Following the disastrous Black Saturday bushfires in 2009, a book called Black Saturday: Stories of Love, Loss and Courage by John McGourty was released. A “tale about ordinary everyday people who, when fate demanded, became heroes”, Black Saturday

9 celebrated this “natural willingness” of Australians to assist, recounting some of the heroic stories of kindness from strangers to emerge from the tragedy. One story was of Peter Thorneycroft who potentially saved the lives of twenty women and children by hosing down the roof of the local pub they sought refuge in.7 As locals and emergency workers joined to assist bushfire victims, Australians gave generously, clearly touched and devastated by the horrific news. More than $388 million was donated to the Black Saturday Bushfire Appeal fund. Australians also donated 63,000 tonnes of material aid, with an estimated value of $17.5 million.8 The Whittlesea Rotary Club recalls the overwhelming generosity of people at that time, how they “had clothes avalanching off the tables …” with people working fourteen-hour, seven-day weeks to distribute it all.9 The tragic floods that ravaged Queensland in early 2011, affecting three-quarters of the entire state, showcased once again the kindness of fellow Australians – whether neighbours or from afar. It seemed that the overwhelming flood waters were matched only by the stories of strangers helping, giving and rescuing. Similarly, Australians’ hearts and cash went out to the victims of the 2002 Bali bombings, the 2004 Asian tsunami and the Samoan tsunami in 2009. Australians donated more that $100 million to the Asian tsunami victims on top of the $1 billion given by the Australian Government, its largest donation ever made.10 Donations made by the Australian public equated to $5

10 per Australian, while donations made by the British and American public equated to $3 per Briton and 88 cents per American.11 Tales of great Aussie kindness also emerged following the Bali bombings which claimed the lives of 202 people, including 88 Australians. Two West Australian men, Timothy Britten and Richard Joyes, became the fourth and fifth Australians to be awarded the Cross of Valour, instituted in 1975, for their rescue efforts at the Sari club. They fought intense burning flames to rescue victims and were among 37 people to receive bravery awards. The Australian’s willingness to help others in times of need is commonly celebrated following times of disaster. Former Australian Chief of the Defence Force and Australian of the Year in 2001, General Peter Cosgrove, summed this up best when he said: Without doubt the best quality we observe across the entire Australian community is a natural willingness to pitch in and have a go, to help others. We see it of course whenever there is an emergency or a worthy cause. We see it in every community volunteer organisation from the lifesavers to the bushfire brigades through to the thousands of youth and mature-age sporting clubs and those great international service organisations like Rotary and many others. We see it in our professional bodies such as the police, fire and ambulance services, and of course in the defence force. It is a generosity of spirit and a selflessness that is perhaps our

11 most precious heritage to hand on to younger and newer Australians – a nation of people who care for and look out for each other. The willingness of Australians to help in times of hardship is also demonstrated by the number of them who dedicate their time to volunteer work. Over a third of Australians over fifteen are volunteers. Over 500,000 of these are in the emergency management sector, which includes surf life-savers and fire brigade volunteers, amongst others.12 The astounding statistic that one-third of Australians dedicate their time to volunteer work supports our finding that 79% of Australians would most like to be remembered for their service to others, while slightly fewer (69%), their contribution to society! This is compared with only 31% who would like to be most remembered for their achievements, such as career success.13 One story in particular in this book highlights the generous Australian spirit in times of need – the story of Andrew Fraser MP, Member for Coffs Harbour NSW, who was moved by the thoughtful kindness of a stranger following a fire which claimed more than his family home. Given their reputation for helping in times of disaster, and the fact that many of them do so as volunteers, it comes as no surprise that firefighters are rated in the top three “most trusted professions”, where 1 is the most trusted (according to Reader’s Digest and McCrindle Research findings): 12 1. Ambulance officers: 1.15 2. Firefighters: 2.38 3. Nurses: 3.42 4. Pilots: 4.41 5. Doctors: 5.3414 Australians are also big on charitable giving with one in ten Australians having donated to the Salvation Army alone. The reasons Australians give to strangers in need of charity are genuine, and further demonstrate our nation’s value of lending a hand in times of need. The main reason for giving to a charity is because people want to make a difference, with half of Australians strongly agreeing with this statement, according to our survey of 500 Australians, on charitable giving.15 Other strongly agreed with reasons which include that they give because it’s the right thing to do (48.6%) and that they care and feel responsibility to help others (46.5%). Australians don’t so much give to charities for tax benefits (7.2% strongly agree) or because they feel guilt (5.7%).

Australian wartime tales It is often said that war brings out both the worst and best in humanity. Despite the countless experiences of unbelievable horror that war inflicts, it is the tales of heroism and of sacrifice that live on and are shared decades later. Soldiers, of course, give the ultimate gift of kindness to strangers, laying down their very 13 lives for the freedom of their countrymen and women. However, there is often much debate in the media about the role of Australian combat forces in foreign lands. In the minds of Australians their role in history has generally been a positive one though, with 69% of Australians believing that Australian soldiers (and members of the Australian Defence Forces) have done more good than harm. This is more evident with older Australians, but even most young Australians agree that the role of our diggers has generally been a positive one. Of those aged 46-85, 90.5% agree that Australian soldiers and members of the ADF have done more good than harm, compared with 54% of those aged 16-45.16 Amongst the best-known Australian wartime Samaritan stories is that of the “fuzzy-wuzzy angels”, the indigenous people of Papua New Guinea who, during the Second World War, carried wounded Australian soldiers to safety, risking their own lives to save those of foreign strangers. There have been a number of poems written by diggers about the noble Papua New Guinean bearers.

Many a lad will see his mother and husbands see their wives Just because the fuzzy wuzzy carried them to save their lives From mortar bombs and machine gun fire or chance surprise attacks

14 To the safety and the care of doctors at the bottom of the track “Fuzzy Wuzzy Angels”, Bert Beros

Misplaced step means a fatal plunge, to the rivers far below, But clambering on through knee-deep mud, on sure footed way they go. Muscles bulge under ebony skin, as they climb over rocks and logs Sometimes sinking to heaving chests, in the treacherous loathsome bogs. “Native Stretcher Bearers”, Corporal Peter Coverdale

While our history is replete with older examples of risk and sacrifice for others, there is a new generation of Australians with the same spirit of the iconic digger. On 16 January 2009 Trooper Mark Donaldson became the first Australian in 40 years to be awarded Australia’s highest military decoration, the Victoria Cross. The official citation gives the circumstances of Trooper Donaldson’s actions which were “most conspicuous acts of gallantry in a circumstance of great peril”. In 2008 while in Afghanistan, Trooper Donaldson and his

15 SAS mates were caught up in a Taliban ambush which turned out to be the worst single attack on Australian soldiers since the Vietnam War, resulting in six Australian soldiers being injured. After taking two hours to fight their way out, he realised a badly wounded Afghan interpreter had been left behind. Still recovering from wounds received in an earlier battle in Afghanistan, Trooper Donaldson turned around and dashed across open ground, under machine gun fire, to collect the man and bring him to safety. The citation states: “With complete disregard for his own safety, on his initiative and alone, Trooper Donaldson ran back 80 metres across exposed ground to rescue the interpreter and carry him back to the vehicle. Trooper Donaldson then rejoined his patrol and continued to engage the enemy while remaining exposed to heavy enemy fire.” His citation said he “displayed exceptional courage in circumstances of great peril” and saved the life of the interpreter. “Trooper Donaldson’s courage and selflessness in the face of such unspeakable danger is not only a great tribute to him and his family – it epitomises the spirit of the Aussie Digger. The soldiers that he saved will be forever indebted to him. The nation will be forever indebted to him.” In keeping with protocol, Chief of the Defence Force, Air Chief Marshal Angus Houston then saluted Trooper Donaldson. “As the highest ranking member of the defence force there

16 has been no current serving member that I salute until now,” he said. “Tradition holds that even the most senior officer will salute a Victoria Cross recipient as a mark of the utmost respect for their act of valour.” At the investiture of the award, the Governor-General Ms Quentin Bryce delivered one of the best speeches of recent times, which read in part:

We are here to dedicate your contribution. Your unconditional surrender to duty and humanity. Your abandonment of your own necessities so that others’ may be secured. Your courage, generosity and compassion. All of these things: while in thrall to peril’s brutal glare and might. All of these things: without moment for reflection or concert. All of these things: not for yourself, but for those whom peril crushed in your midst; for us, your fellow countrymen and women … We award you a decoration whose words are reserved for the incomparable and unsurpassed. Words whose integrity is untouched by vernacular. Words, rare and revered. Gallantry. Valour. Self-sacrifice. Devotion to duty.

17 These are the tenets of the Victoria Cross for Australia, and you have met their rigour. While very few acts of helping others will measure up to that of this 29-year-old soldier, the same character lies at the heart of every altruistic act: compassion, generosity and a commitment to others.

Our Christian roots While most of us (61%) don’t think religious people are more likely to do charitable works, of those who believe in God, 88% have gone out of their way to help a stranger in need, compared to 84% of non-believers. Religious people are also more positive about the state of kindness in our world today. Those who have neither a religious affiliation nor a belief in God are most sceptical when it comes to the state of kindness in our world. Thirty-two per cent compared to 37% of Australians who believe in God believe more acts of kindness than terror are performed. Thirty- seven per cent of Australians who believe in God, but don’t necessarily have a religious affiliation, believe there are more good deeds performed than evil. Thirty-two per cent believe there are more acts of terror.17 It is often the way that people who perform acts of kindness are motivated by their religious background. For the Christian, performing goods deeds is an imperative, which comes from

18 following the example of Christ who articulated the greatest of altruistic acts when he stated, “Greater love has no one than this: that he lay down his life for his friends” (John 15:13). After love of God, to “love your neighbour as yourself” (Matthew 22:38) is the greatest commandment for the Christian. In the Bible, a lawyer asks Jesus, “Who is my neighbour?” Jesus responds with the parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10). The charity that a Christian is called on to aspire to is seen in the example of the Good Samaritan who bandaged, clothed, fed and housed a badly beaten Jewish man left for dead on the side of a road. The significance of this parable is that the Jews and Samaritans did not get along at this time. One’s “neighbour”, therefore, includes even his or her enemies. Charity has always been a big part of the Christian Church’s mission. From the very early days, Christians organised church funds to feed the needy. Benedictine monks would take in travellers and give them free accommodation and food. Later, orphanages, almshouses, shelters and hospitals were set up – all out of church funds. The importance of charity to the Christian is further seen in the number of Christian charities throughout the world today that do so much to help the poor and other vulnerable and needy people. In Australia, we have the Salvation Army, Wesley Mission, St. Vincent de Paul, Anglicare, Uniting Care, Youth off the Streets and Catholic Mission, amongst others. Yet it is in our diversity that the power of good is most in

19 evidence. This lucky country has for a couple of centuries offered a welcome to those from other lands looking for a fresh start. Our cultural mix is in our national DNA, it’s part of our lifestyle – it’s who we are. The fact that more than one in four of us wasn’t born here seems unremarkable – as though it has always been thus.18 The second verse of our national anthem articulates this generosity: For those who’ve come across the seas We’ve boundless plains to share; With courage let us all combine To advance Australia fair. In a recent survey, Prasad, writing from Noble Park, Victoria, returns the thanks: “There’s a world of opportunities waiting for me post-high school – this country opens the doors to those wanting to learn and grow. Where I come from if you have no money you have no education. Thank you, Australia.”

A universal and ageless ideal The ideal of kindness transcends time, faith and culture. The earliest historical records show how humanity has always supported the concept of helping. These historical records go back over 4000 years. The Babylonian King Hammurabai, Confucius, Plato and Buddha were amongst the earliest philanthropists.

20 Table 1.1 Source Quote King Hammurabai To his subjects: See that justice be done to widows, orphans and the poor. Confucius He who wishes to secure the good of others has already secured his own. New Testament, How does it help, my brothers, when James, 2:14-18 someone who has never done a single good act claims to have faith? Will that faith bring salvation? If one of the brothers or one of the sisters is in need of clothes and has not enough food to live on, and one of you says to them, ‘‘I wish you well; keep yourself warm and eat plenty,’’ without giving them these bare necessities of life, then what good is that? In the same way faith, if good deeds do not go with it, is quite dead. But someone may say: So you have faith and I have good deeds? Show me this faith of yours without deeds, then! It is by my deeds that I will show you my faith.

21 Old Testament And what does the Lord require of you (Micah 6: 8) but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God. The Koran, 4.57 And (as for) those who believe and do good deeds, We will make them enter gardens beneath which rivers flow, to abide in them for ever; they shall have therein pure mates, and We shall make them enter a dense shade.

Dalai Lama We find that not only do altruistic actions bring about happiness but they also lessen our experience of suffering. Here I am not suggesting that the individual whose actions are motivated by the wish to bring others happiness necessarily meets with less misfortune than the one who does not. Sickness, old age, mishaps of one sort or another are the same for us all. But the sufferings which undermine our internal peace – anxiety, doubt, disappointment – these things are definitely less.

22 Buddha I do not believe in a fate that falls on men however they act; but I do believe in a fate that falls on them unless they act. Ramakrishna Through selfless work, love of God grows in the heart. Then, through His grace, one realises Him in course of time. God can be seen. One can talk to Him as I am talking to you.

Swami Vivekananda The more we come out and do good to others, the more our hearts will be purified, and God will be in them. To devote your life to the good of all and to the happiness of all is religion. Whatever you do for your own sake is not religion.

Aesop No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted. William The best portion of a good man’s life – Wordsworth his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love …

23 William Penn I expect to pass through life but once. If, therefore, there be any kindness I can show, or any good thing I can do to any fellow being, let me do it now, for I shall not pass this way again.

Business Business people have got wind of the power of acts of kindness in recent years in boosting one’s health, mentally and physically – and even financially. The power of the practice of kindness as a tool in business has been explored in several books.19 In The Power of Nice, How to Conquer the Business World with Kindness, Linda Kaplan Thaler and Robin Koval of the Kaplan Thaler Group, the fastest growing advertising agency in the US, recognise that “nice has an image problem. Nice gets no respect”. However, they argue that niceness is not the same as naivety. On the contrary, “being very nice and placing other people’s needs on the same level as your own will get you everything you want”. In their book, they cite numerous examples about how the good are rewarded – often with commercial success.20 In The Kindness Revolution, Ed Horrell argues that if employers show kindness to their staff, employees will engage in a high level of customer service and profits will, naturally, flow.21 Australians consider visionaries and role models who include

24 Mother Teresa and Gandhi among their ranks, to be the most influential. Such leaders are not just for the history books; in business, it is the supportive and generous leaders who influence and impact the most. The majority (82%) of Australians agree that it is the people-centred leader, one who serves and supports, who has the most influence and impact. The traditional authoritarian leader (only 13% ranked as influential) and the task-driven delegator (just 5%) are rated as having far less influence. In contrast, Australians consider dictators and rulers who have included infamous war tyrants Hitler and Stalin, to be the least influential. This is testament to the power of good! Military and political leaders also rank low, while others who also rank high include scientists and inventors, philosophers and thinkers, and writers and artists, those who help and inspire others.

Online If you type “random acts of kindness” into an online search engine, you will be surprised by the number of responses you get. There has been an explosion of websites and blogs devoted to encouraging people to perform random acts of kindness to strangers, and countless pages of the anecdotes of the doers and receivers of kindness. For example, the website of the Australian Kindness Movement contains many suggestions of everyday kindnesses that can be practised by anyone. They range from random acts of kindness

25 to common courtesy. Here are some examples: “Drop a few coins in an area where children play, where they can easily find them. Do you remember how excited you felt, when as a child you found a coin lying on the ground?”; “Spend a few minutes going through your old photos, and send whatever you can part with to the people in the photos”; “When phoning someone, ask ‘Have I phoned at the wrong time?’. If they are busy, ask when you can call back.”22

Table 1.2 For a list of kindness websites, see Table 1.2, Appendix, p. 220.

A global phenomenon? For some, the practice of good deeds is incentive-driven. It’s about being rewarded either in this life or the next. However for most, doing good is indeed altruistic – done to help others for no personal gain, and sometimes for no particular reason, but to put a smile on another person’s face. Here in Australia, 59% say they have done something nice for a stranger “just for the sake of being nice”, such as paying for a meal. Nearly all of these Australians (98%) say they would look to repeating this sort of kindness in the future. Of those who haven’t shown kindness for the sake of it, 75.4% say they would be prepared to, should an opportunity arise.23

26 Multiple motivations to do good 1. Delight: 38.5% of Australians lend a helping hand to a stranger simply because of the joy they receive in putting a smile on another’s face! 2. Conscience: 69% of Australians help because they feel bad if they don’t. 3. God/belief in an afterlife: 22.9% perform good deeds because of religious beliefs.24 Some say that the “random acts of kindness” movement was started by peace activist Anne Herbert who, in the early 1980s, wrote the following on a napkin at a restaurant in San Francisco: “Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty”. The famous words saw a chain reaction of kindness – from bumper stickers25 to a spate of books, movies and video clips which celebrate spontaneous good deeds. Anne Herbert’s unspoken message of practising random kindness was heard loud and clear! Like a drop of clear water in a murky pond, it created a ripple effect of goodness in a world that is often unkind – that just kept growing! This is testament to the power of even those small acts of good.

Table 1.3 For a timeline for the random acts of kindness phenomenon, see Table 1.3, Appendix, p. 222.

27 But why the global trend? Eleven years on from Anne Herbert’s message, Professor Chuck Wall of Bakersfield College in California challenged his students to perform “a random act of senseless kindness” after hearing a radio report describing “another random act of senseless violence”.26 The world of violence that we are so frequently reminded of by the media has caused a longing for its opposite, as seen in the example of Juan Mann. In Australia in 2004, Juan Mann received much international attention for his unusual stunt in Pitt Street, Sydney, where he stood in the street, holding up a sign, saying “Free Hugs”. Juan received so much attention, in fact, that the lead singer of the band Sick Puppies, Shimon Moore, filmed him for Sick Puppies’ song All the Same, which quickly enjoyed notoriety on YouTube. The film, which has had nearly 34 million hits at the time of publication, has inspired “free hug” copycats from cities around the world, including Taipei, Chicago, Geneva and Shanghai. “Free hugs” websites have been set up across the globe, too: Wales, France, Israel, Japan, Korea, Lithuania, Poland, Russia, Spain, Sweden and the UK.27 In October of 2006, Mann told Oprah Winfrey what happened when he first held up his sign: “The first person who stopped tapped me on the shoulder and told me how her dog had just died that morning. How that morning had been the one-year anniversary of her only daughter dying in a car accident. And

28 how what she needed now, when she felt most alone in the world, was a hug. I got down on one knee, we put our arms around each other and when we parted, she was smiling.”28 It’s no wonder that Juan Mann received the international attention that he did – while it may seem like the world is in adoration of self-satisfying celebrities, in reality it is kind-hearted people who we most highly regard. For Australians, treatment of others is the most important attribute in determining what we think of someone – 76% say it is “an extremely important factor”. The amount of money/material possessions someone has, looks/appearance and status/success are considered by Australians to be the least important attributes.

Table 1.4 For an analysis of the “Free Hugs” phenomenon, see Table 1.4, Appendix, p. 224.

There is even an official world movement dedicated to kindness. It was formally launched in Singapore in 2000. The Australian Kindness Movement was one of the founding members, begun in 1994 by Sydney engineer Brian Willis, who was inspired to start it after talking to teenagers at the checkout of his local supermarket. He was dismayed to discover that these young people believed their parents did not have the time to talk to them.29 Charter member countries include: Canada, England, Japan,

29 Scotland, Singapore, Thailand, USA, India, Italy, Nepal, Nigeria, New Zealand and South Korea. The movement has approximately 3 million members.30

Giving back In putting this book together, we have joined this growing world movement of kindness. We hope it gives some encouragement to those who wonder where all the goodness has gone, and some acknowledgment to those kind-hearted strangers who have helped us all out. We hope it encourages others to show random kindness, and indeed it’s already doing that. One dollar per book will go to the work of Hope Street (www.hopestreet.org.au), who look after some of Australia’s most marginalised people.

Do you have a story of kindness? Well, we’d love to hear it for our next book! Please go to: www.powerofgood.com.au to submit your account and get in print. Please see the back of the book for more information.

30 2. Acts of Kindness in Hardship and Misfortune

Louise Hall, Reporter, the Sydney Morning Herald

Food for Thought

Every Saturday the oncology ward at Sydney Children’s Hospital at Randwick is turned into a giant BBQ for sick kids and their families. It’s a tradition that’s been going on for 30 years, thanks to nursing assistant Patsy Jones. Each weekend she buys a heap of sausages, chipolatas, chickens, salads and bread and cooks up a feast on her trusty BBQ named “Elvis”. Patsy, 58, began providing lunch when she noticed most of the cancer patients didn’t eat the hospital food, and their parents often went without proper meals for days at a time. Three decades later, the “pocket dynamo” has become a hospital institution. “Many of the Hospital’s former patients who come back to

31 visit don’t remember much except Patsy’s BBQ,” says Nurse Unit Manager, John Watt. “Patsy is such a great cook, she could have easily set up her own catering business but chose to work as a nurse assistant in the Sydney Children’s Hospital oncology ward. She is truly an extraordinary person who gives so much of herself to so many people. She not only cooks the BBQ on the weekend but on special occasions, such as birthdays, she will bake a cake for a parent, carer or staff member,” he says. “Thank you from all the patients, families and staff for the fantastic job that she does.” The parents and siblings of sick children also appreciate the chance to have a chat with other families in the same situation. “Her BBQs are almost like a social outing for patients, families and carers who are on the ward and you sometimes forget you are in hospital,” said Maria Celi, whose son Santo, eight, is an oncology patient. “We are from outside of Sydney, and when we arrived at the hospital we felt so welcomed by Patsy. She never fails to introduce herself to newcomers to the ward and will make sure you know where everything is within the hospital and around Randwick.” “Both Santo and I always look so forward to Patsy’s Saturday BBQs, it’s become the highlight of our week.” Patsy is given a budget of $100 a week from a special fund set up by the family of a former patient. While she gives herself

32 school holidays off to see her son Marcus and grandsons Seth and Lachlan, she says she’s not ready to down tongs just yet. “I’ll keep doing it till I retire, but they told me I’m not allowed to retire,” she laughed. In September of 2010, Patsy benefited from the Channel 9 TV show Random Acts of Kindness when her BBQ area was renovated while she was whisked away on a family holiday paid for by the show. d Louise Hall has been working for Fairfax since 2005 when she completed her traineeship and had the education round before moving to health at the Sun-Herald. She is now the State Political Reporter for the Sydney Morning Herald.

33 Anton Enus, News Presenter, SBS World News

Comradeship at the Comrades Marathon

The buzz at the starting line of the world’s greatest ultra-marathon is unmistakable. It’s the heady tingle of excitement laced with a dash of trepidation. The Comrades Marathon, founded in 1921 to honour those who fell in the trenches of the Great War, is a South African institution. It’s like no other race in the world: an unforgiving character test over 90 long kilometres. Torturous climbing alternates with muscle-wrenching downhills. If, at the end of a taxing day, you make it to the finish line in time (not one second over eleven hours!), you’re rewarded with a medal. It’s a modest acknowledgment but I can tell you from personal experience that the ten I’ve earned mean more to me than almost any other material possession. Here’s the funny thing. It almost didn’t happen for me. When I got to my first Comrades in 1987, I was young and stupid enough to think I could conquer it. In my early twenties something told me that I had to do no more than front up and the glory would be

34 mine. Not the glory of actually winning the race, you understand, but the satisfaction of being an official finisher. All I had to do, I thought, was take my 42.2 km marathon qualifying time (three hours 23 minutes), double it and add an extra half-hour as a cushion. So in my mind I was a shoo-in for a sub-7 hours 30 minutes, which would have earned me a silver medal. Only, at around the 70-kilometre mark my body somehow rebelled against me. I was in pain from cramping muscles and sore knees. I was mentally flailing about, barely keeping focus on the job at hand. I had an overwhelming feeling of wanting to stop and lie down. There and then I had no idea how I was going to get to the next kilometre marker, let alone the finish line! But an odd thing happened. An apparition settled in next to me as I shuffled along. It was a real, flesh-and-blood person, of course, but in my fragile state anything seemed possible. I have no idea who this runner was, but my recollection is that she was middle-aged, short and a little dumpy. In other words, not what you’d think of as a typical athlete. But she was coping a heck of a lot better than I was with the heat, the distance and the hills (the worst one, Polly Shorts, was still to come!). And yet she found the time to run at my side, gently urging me on, helping me take the focus away from my pain. In a few minutes she was gone, but her pep talk got me going again. I struggled through the last twenty kilometres and finished, spent but happy, in ten hours and 47 minutes. To me, my

35 guardian angel remains nameless and unthanked, but there’s no question, her intervention got me to the finish line. And finding a way through that day proved to be a seminal experience because it taught me that nothing else in my life or career was ever again going to be put into the “too hard” basket. d South-African born news presenter Anton Enus has been a newscaster and journalist for twenty years. Anton is also long- distance runner, having completed more than 40 standard or ultra-marathons.

36 David Richardson, Reporter, Today Tonight

The “Mummy’s Boys”

They come from all walks of life. A carpenter, a plumber, a couple of sparkies, an industrial insulation installer, two or three retired football professionals, a television journalist, even some high-flying bank executives … completely different personalities joined by one common bond: Australian mateship! This band of 40-something dads couldn’t be pried apart with dynamite. They call themselves the “Mummy’s Boys” and they’ve been the best of friends for a decade, some even longer. Once a month they gather in an informal fathers’ group to play soccer together, regale each other with tales of how their lives are going, seek advice from each other, and generally have a good time. It’s a release where men can let down their guards in the fellowship of friends. The soccer is at times (very rare times) pretty to watch. It has certainly improved since the first game. Invariably there’s an injury or three, but after all these years no broken bones, thank God. But within the group is a collective heart that is purely Australian. Each person would do their utmost to help their mate, regardless of the situation. But they also help others. It’s just in their nature.

37 A friend from work was organising a cancer fundraising evening and hoped to sell a massive number of tickets. Every dollar raised would purchase a balloon, the object being to fill a car with balloons, with the money going to research to help beat this shocking disease. She asked me if I knew anyone who might help out. Of course, the “Mummy’s Boys”. One email and the call to arms was answered. Not by one or two, but by almost all of them. Additional tables were put in to cater for the numbers. They parted with their hard-earned money for a cause they knew nothing about, collected a few prizes at the door, and bid some money on some auction items. The end result was a massive kickstart for the cancer group. But more importantly, it proved that altruism and good spirit are alive and well in the suburbs. They didn’t even know the person in whose honour the charity night was organised! It didn’t matter. It was the right thing to do. These men, brothers now, have been a rock of support for me and others. They don’t ask for anything except a thanks, a pat on the back every now and again, and a cold beer as a reward. They pitch in to help others without a thought for themselves. Laying a slab at a mate’s house takes just a couple of hours with the band of “Mummy’s Boys” helping out. And if someone is down, even battling a bout of depression, going through hard times, balancing precariously on the precipice we all walk, there is a safety net below manned and held tight by

38 this group of rare individuals to catch you if you fall, or hold you dear to stop you tumbling over. I am proud and honoured to call them all “mate”. They know who they are and how important they all are. Oh and by the way, their wives, the so-called “Mummies”, aren’t bad either! d David Richardson is a senior investigative reporter at Today Tonight. He worked in radio before he came to television where he has worked for both Channel 7 and 10. David has been the recipient of two prestigious awards for his work in journalism: The Pater Award for Professional Excellence in Radio Arts and Sciences and the Thorn Award for Best Current Affairs Report.

39 Simon Reeve, Presenter, Sunrise

A Cardiologist with a Heart

In August 2001 our second child, Sam, came into the world in Perth. After leaving my partner Linda and our little boy at the hospital that evening, I went home to celebrate. As I walked in the door the phone rang; a devastated Linda told me to come back to the hospital as there was a problem with Sam. Within the hour a team of paramedics had Sam in an ambulance heading for Princess Margaret Children’s Hospital, with the two of us, scared and bewildered, following behind. Many hours and several tests later, Sam was diagnosed with a complex heart defect. The person who delivered the news was cardiologist Dr Luigi D’Orsogna. In the days and weeks ahead, Luigi became a rock for Linda and me. He was always available to chat, always calm and positive. Sam needed major surgery which would be performed by Dr David Andrews, who was then the only kids’ heart surgeon in WA. We went along and listened to David talk to a bunch of heart kids’ parents before Sam’s procedure. He was in tears describing how much his job meant to him. Every procedure, every little life

40 mattered to him as if it was his own child. We ended up in tears listening to him, but we were very sure that this was the guy we wanted to operate on our own child. Sam had his operation at three months. There were complications in the surgery and the little fellow was in theatre for about fourteen hours. He eventually pulled through and gradually improved in the days after. Luigi and David became great friends through our shared experience. They deal with dozens of heart kids’ parents every year, but made us feel very special. You can never describe what it’s like to put your own flesh and blood into the trust and care of others for life-saving surgery. They showed extraordinary compassion far beyond their roles as highly skilled professionals. Linda and I are forever in debt to the two of them. Wonderful doctors and even better human beings! d Simon Reeve is the Weekend Sunrise sports presenter. He also hosts police show The Force and kids show It’s Academic. Simon started working for Channel 7 in 1979. His long career with the network has also seen him work for Seven News and Beyond 2000.

41 Susanne Gervay, Author, Dover Heights NSW

With Pain Comes the Joy of Kindness

Swollen eyelids shut tight. Head shaven bare. The woman strokes the baby’s face … A plastic tube feeds into the baby’s nose and a drip is taped onto her arm. A catheter empties urine into a bag. Her arms are in splints. Her small body is wrapped in gauze. Her hands are in mittens also tied to splints. She tries to open her eyes, searching through the swelling. The nurse comes to check tubes and vital signs. The woman brushes back her dark wispy hair and looks up at the nurse. “What is wrong with that baby? Where is her hair? … Her face? … Her body?” “Remember the doctor spoke to you about it?” The nurse’s voice gently persists … “Remember? Remember?” “No. Spoke to me? No.” “About her body, her face.” Pulling a chair close, the

42 nurse sits next to her. “The baby will … she will … look a little different.” The woman stares confused at the nurse in her white uniform. “Where is Katherine? Where is my baby? My little girl?” The nurse answers softly. “This is Katherine. You can see her.” “But I can’t. I can’t … see her. I can’t see her.” This is an extract from my novel Butterflies where I relate the real incident of the kindness of the nurse who sat beside a mother whose little girl had been severely burnt. The writing of Butterflies humbled me. My research at the Burn Unit in the Children’s Hospital Westmead and the interviews with children who were burnt – siblings, parents, doctors, nurses, health teams, volunteers, the Fire Brigade and others – gave me insight into their world. The trauma, treatment, surgeries, and emotional and physical challenges of burns are extreme. However, I saw moving acts of kindness where a nurse would hold a child, a volunteer sit beside a parent, a doctor play with the families at the Burn Camp, therapists care for children emotionally and physically. Dr Hugh Martin, Head of the Burn Unit at the Children’s Hospital Westmead, wrote: “Those of us who are involved in the world of burns know how survivors need help from time to time,

43 but slowly develop a depth of character and an inner strength which is rarely seen in others. Like tempering steel, the process of passing through the fire helps make a person of exceptional quality.” I saw how the kindness of strangers travels with these young burn survivors and their families to create a better society. Through them, I was able to put my arms around a child badly scarred and not see the scars. d Susanne Gervay is an award-winning youth author. Her young adult novel The Cave received The Society of Women Writers Biennial Young Adult Book Award and Butterflies was nominated as Outstanding Youth Literature on Disability. Susanne is also the Director of the Kids and Young Adult Writers Festival and Chair of the Sydney Writers and Illustrators Network. www.sgervay.com

44 Rick Ardon, News Presenter, Channel 7 Perth

A Life-saving Act of Kindness

In the ’60s, medical research wasn’t as advanced as it is today. I was five, and contracted a form of encephalitis that was deadly to most victims. I was wheeled into the operating theatre at Princess Margaret Children’s Hospital with a surgeon ready to operate on a twisted bowel, a mistaken diagnosis. Luckily, I was wheeled out again when they decided I was too weak to operate on. My mother sat with me and still tearfully recalls me telling her, “I don’t want to die” even though I was unaware of what was happening. Two acts of kindness followed. The head of my primary school, Sister Ann, arrived and told me the whole school was praying for me. In her larger-than-life nun’s habit, she looked as though she had been talking directly to God. Then a brilliant young surgeon who had returned from studying in England saved my life. He recognised the symptoms no one else could see, and administered lifesaving medicine. I had to learn to walk again because of the encephalitis, but recovered fully soon afterwards.

45 This book inspired me to do a Google search on my saviour who, it turns out, is still saving lives four decades later. His name is Dr Peter Silberstein. This book also inspired me to ring him and thank him for what he did. I thank God for the medical researchers and practitioners out there who are so valuable to our community. I have had 44 extra years of a wonderful life thanks to Peter. d In 2005, Rick Ardon and his co-anchor Susannah Carr celebrated their 20th consecutive year reading the news together on Seven News, Perth. Rick’s long television career has earned him ten Logie Awards as Western Australia’s Most Popular TV Personality.

46 Elizabeth Brew, Secretary of Adoption Support Network Origins Inc NSW

Where There is Life There is Hope

It was the day of our four-year-old’s operation to remove a cancerous tumour. Our son had been in theatre for a couple of hours already when the surgeon entered the waiting room to convey the news of medical challenges related to the particular spread of his tumour. This was a huge confrontation. I tried desperately to hold back the emotion as I imagined I would recall this day in hindsight as the unhappiest of my life. It was a living nightmare. In a flight response, I hurried from the crowed waiting room, looking for some place to escape the panic. Entering a medical information centre for parents of sick children at the Westmead Children’s Hospital, I hid in a corner pretending to read a book. A woman approached me to offer assistance. Noticing my distress, she asked, “Are you OK?” Breaking down, I revealed my innermost fears to a complete stranger. She embraced me and gently said, “Your son is in the best place. Don’t be afraid, you’ll not be alone in this. There are many caring people here who will help you get through this.”

47 The kindness and words of hope of this stranger gave me the courage to return to the waiting room, composed, to sit it out with my husband, to be brave for our little son. At the conclusion of the operation, the surgeon conveyed to us that the complications had been narrowly avoided, much to our relief. Many times during our long stay at the hospital, I recalled those words of hope granted by a stranger as new challenges emerged almost on a daily basis. Our son had a long battle to recover his health but it was, as the stranger had said it would be, not one fought alone by us. With a gentle touch of human kindness, a stranger had given me courage and the age-old wisdom that where there is life there is hope. d www.originsnsw.com/

48 Sue Curby, Unsworn Member of Federal Police, Woronora Heights NSW

Kindness in the Face of Death

My brother was dying in Bega hospital. Both my older sister and I were sitting with him to ease his passing with love. He was not lucid but we were sure he was aware we were there. He had become increasingly disturbed as he got closer to his time of death and, although we could ease his suffering a little bit, we could not stop his hallucinations. One of the nurses who cared for Mike was on duty during one of his more unsettled times. To this day I cannot remember her name, but she came from Tilba Tilba and had a beautiful nature. She held his hand and sang in a beautiful voice; the song was a death song of welcome and release from suffering. Our brother become very still as a sense of peace came over him and he stopped fighting the demons within. The most astounding thing of all was that while this nurse sang, not in a quiet voice but with full-bodied sound, the rest of the hospital stopped still. Not a soul moved, spoke or made a noise, and both my sister and I wept. This lady eased our brother’s passing and two days later he died peacefully. She had helped him and us to be at peace. I believe she was an angel spreading her wings of love. 49 Penny Burke, Director of Essence Communications

I am Not a Runner; I Just Occasionally Jog

I am one of those people with a short attention span who suffers the appalling condition of “oncer”. I have been bungee jumping. Once. I have written one book. I completed an entire weekend’s training in parachuting so I could jump out of a plane at 10,000 feet. Just once. And one day, browsing in a bookshop, I came across a book titled Run your first marathon with 70 days training. Now, I am not a runner. I have always been an active person but I am far from svelte, and certainly do not enjoy the body shape of serious joggers. But I am extremely determined! I planned an extensive training regime exactly 77 days from the 1990 Melbourne Marathon and dedicated many weekends and early mornings running long distances in rain, hail and not much shine. Fear is a great motivator. I worried deep in my heart

50 that if I didn’t get up and jog I would never get through it; that all these hours of training would be for nothing. Soon race day was upon me. It’s a marvellous thing, this running fraternity. The atmosphere of the race is electric – everyone is cheering for you, offering you Vaseline as you run past for chafing, and jelly beans for quick energy hits. My wonderful partner (now hubby) rode his bike between his brother and me in support of us both – it was an unbelievably exciting experience. But marathons are hard. At 38 kilometres – only four kilometres from the end – I hit the wall. I felt physically sick and totally spent. My feet were numb, I felt faint and clammy, and I had lost track of my support team. I could see I only had four kilometres to go – and you would think after running all this way, another four kilometres would be nothing! But running is as much a mental challenge as it is physical. I was thoroughly exhausted – and for the first time, doubt crept in. I wasn’t going to make it. And that’s when my stranger appeared next to me and announced: “OK, I’ve been running behind you for about ten kilometres, and you’re flagging. Now I’m telling you we’re going over that line together. Come on, let’s do it.” I had no energy left to be kind in return. This stranger had

51 touched a nerve in me that spoke to my fear of failure. I replied, exhausted, “I can’t! I’ll never make it! I’m not a runner!” “It’s your first marathon, isn’t it?” I was too tired even to speak so my head lolled around in a vague gesture of agreement. “Well, this is my tenth, and I’m not finishing it without you.” If I’d had any moisture left in my body I would have cried. But I had none. My stranger kept asking me questions – where I worked, what I did for a living, if my family would be at the finishing line waiting. It was intensely annoying as it felt I didn’t have any oxygen left to form sentences in response – but he was engaging me in conversation to keep my mind off the pain as we ran those interminable four kilometres. When that finishing line came into view it was the most glorious sight I had ever seen. And as we ran under the clock this wonderful kind stranger held my arm up in a final gesture of victory. I fell into my family’s excited grasp, too exhausted to speak but intensely proud. My stranger presumably went off to his, celebrating his tenth marathon. I am not a runner. But I did once run a marathon – and I could not have made it without the help of a magnificent stranger to whom I am forever grateful.

52 d Penny Burke is the director of consultancy company, Essence Communications. She is also a professional speaker whose topics include marketing and advertising. Penny was the recipient of TEC’s Best New Speaker Award in 2008. She is the author of Forced Focus. www.essencecomms.com.au

53 Terry Hawkins, People in Progress and Terry Hawkins Enterprises

The Story Behind the Face: When Hearts Collide

Many years ago while I was presenting a three-day sales training program in Melbourne, we were discussing the importance of connecting with people on an emotional level when in a sales situation. The main point that we made was how often sales people just saw the customer as a transaction. One of the things I was stressing was the importance of letting people know that we care about them as a person first and that the sale must always come second to this. I asked the group for stories of where they had connected with someone in a sales situation and if it had manifested into a meaningful experience. One young woman in the group volunteered a beautiful story of a connection she had made with a female customer a few months prior. Her story moved us all to stillness. Working in a clothing store, the female employee encountered a customer as she was looking for clothing for her son. After about 45 minutes of serving her and enjoying a friendly connection,

54 the customer decided on quite a few shirts, jeans, jumpers and socks. As she was finalising the payment details, the young female employee explained to our group that she had a sense that something was not quite right with the customer. She explained, “I felt nervous about whether to say anything or not but I just had this incredible feeling that I had to.” She said that she looked at the woman with genuine concern and asked caringly, “Are you OK?” The woman’s eyes filled with tears instantly as she looked down. The young girl then came out from behind the counter and asked her, “Would you like to have a coffee with me?” The woman nodded and said that she would dearly love that. These two virtual strangers then headed out to spend a few moments together. The customer proceeded to explain that the clothes were actually for her son who she had only recently discovered was a drug addict, living on the streets. She explained how she had only just found him after many years of not knowing where he was and was feeling completely devastated and helpless. The young girl went on to explain that her brother had also been a drug addict for a long period of time and had only just come clean. She went on to share her own family’s story of struggle, sadness and finally great joy as they helped him find his life again. Through her sharing of her truth she was able to understand completely the traumatic experience this customer was immersed in. This random pair of people who had no idea about each other’s lives was now connected on a much more meaningful

55 level, all because the young girl had a “feeling”. This wonderfully wise young woman connected with her customer on a much more important level than just selling products. She connected with her heart-to-heart. She had formed a trusting relationship, albeit for only 40-odd minutes, but it was long enough for this woman to reach out for help. To me, this is the most powerful and beautiful aspect of demonstrating kindness: that quite often it is not premeditated. It’s just a moment in time, where if we are centred in helping others, we will see the opportunity to be and act in a kind way to another human being appear right before us. This beautiful story of kindness demonstrated to me that this young girl, no more than twenty years old, was sensitive enough to be able to connect with someone else who had a heart that was breaking. Her act of kindness in wanting to share some time with this woman and to just sit and be with her, I believe influenced this woman in a really powerful way. Her story held us all in silence and her actions inspired every one of us to be a better, kinder human being. I hope that this story will also inspire you to just “pay attention”. We all have to pay a price in life and the price we have to pay is to “pay attention”! If we focus on noticing and caring about others we will find numerous opportunities where people may need our thoughtfulness and our awareness. There are so many people on this planet who need others to do acts of

56 kindness for them. These can be anything, from a smile across the street to holding a door open to paying for someone’s groceries. It doesn’t have to be a lot but if we all just go looking for that moment where we could touch the heart of another, in a small but meaningful way, we’ll find it. Sometimes all people need is to know that there is someone who does notice them; that there is someone who allows them to feel significant. If we all did that then I believe this world would heal a lot faster and we would evolve a lot more quickly. d Terry Hawkins is a motivational speaker. Her company People in Progress Pty Ltd is a provider of business training programs and resources that build a company’s profile, culture and profits. www.peopleinprogress.com.au

57 Janice Davies, Motivational Speaker and Author, Auckland New Zealand

The Angel Wore a White Cardigan

Becoming a mother for the first time, I was a novice! I had spent years travelling the world and any conversation about parenthood I shied away from. Therefore suddenly being at home with a newborn baby, who I fell in love with, also led me down a path of loneliness and unhappiness. When my daughter Claire was ten months old I found this fantastic organisation in New Zealand called Playcentre. The philosophy behind it was to teach children through play, followed by teaching parents about helping their children to learn. On my first visit I felt at home. Suddenly I had ladies I could talk to about being a mum and what I should, could or should not do for my daughter. I was offered a coffee and my daughter quickly settled in to the new toys and other children to play with. After a few weeks of attending I was approached by a lady

58 who was at that time a stranger to me. She was wore a white cardigan and today, twenty years later, I joke about her being an angel in disguise. Diane was a mother with three children and had formed a wonderful group of friends at the play centre. She was always busy, chatty, laughing and helping others. She suggested I would benefit from joining the play centre parent training program. At that stage I was bumbling my way through parenting my young daughter. She explained how it would teach me to decide what was appropriate behaviour for my daughter and how I could rephrase my conversations with her. She also explained how I could learn about her stages of development and could subsequently always interact with her at the appropriate level. She described how I would find new friends to replace my ex-work friends who I did not see anymore, and the huge benefits I could achieve from this training. I did not agree immediately to start the training; Diane was patient and persistent in telling me how I would benefit from this program. Eventually I said yes, and I must admit this was the beginning of a new outlook on life for me. It was not just about parenting, but about myself, my capabilities, my self-esteem, my communication and my life. Today, I view this as a major critical turning point in my life. After I completed my Playcentre training program, I continued on with the Leadership training. Eventually I became a

59 leader in these programs and today I continue some of this same information in my workshops and as a motivational speaker, business trainer, author and success coach. Diane’s kindness and generosity changed my life and I know as she walks through life, she has laughter, support and words of comfort and praise for others. She is truly an angel wearing a white cardigan who is now a lifelong friend and a leader to others in the childcare world. d Janice Davies is also the founder of International Self Esteem Day. She lives and works in New Zealand. www.attitudespecialist.co.nz/ www.internationalselfesteem.com

60 The Reverend Graham Long, Pastor and CEO of the Wayside Chapel, Kings Cross

A Kiss from Heaven

There are no rules for grieving. When our son died in 2009, I knew that life had changed forever but I could not articulate anything about the change. I was not the only one stuck for words. I found myself swimming in a sea of human kindness but no one really knew what to say. Perhaps there is nothing that ought to be said. At the time the phrase, “if there is anything I can do …” was offered to me, over and over and yet no one could do the one thing that I wanted. Some generous and beautiful people offered various options for a holiday. However, I needed the routine of work and wanted to be not too far away from my three little granddaughters whose loss was not just beyond words but also beyond imagination. Perhaps it was not the ideal reaction, but I found at the time (and to this day) that I have an overwhelming sense that life only lasts for a few minutes. I figure that I have only 60 seconds or so

61 left and I’m determined not to waste my last precious few seconds in a tailspin. I want to live as if I was making my son proud of my efforts. I always strove to make him proud of me. After some months, people had ceased to say awkward things and had generally settled back into the routine of life. I was partly grateful for the lack of difficult moments where warmth and care were communicated not through language but in spite of it, and yet I was astonished to find the world moving along without my boy in it.

Gazza, the homeless man (left) and Graham

At The Wayside Chapel one day, as I was heading out to a meeting, a homeless man walked into my path in a way that for a moment was pretty confusing. I thought he wanted to talk with me but it became fairly obvious that no conversation was on offer. I knew the man well enough by sight but we’d not talked at depth.

62 He stepped right into my face and threw his arms around me. He kissed me on the side of my face and whispered, “This is from your son,” and then walked away. d Reverend Graham Long has been the pastor and CEO of the Wayside Chapel since 2004. His time working in community service has seen him fill various roles including social worker, prison chaplain, child protection advocate and welfare agency founder. www.thewaysidechapel.com/

63 Peter H. Devin, Author, California USA

A Bucket List Dream Come True

When my wife, Andrea, and I saw the movie The Bucket List, I thought I should create a list of my own, but I figured it would be way in the future. On 9 September 2009, that all changed. After a year of testing because of speech difficulties, I was diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis – better known as Lou Gehrig’s disease. ALS is a disorder of the motor neurons of nerve cells in the brain and spinal cord that control the action of voluntary muscles. For unknown reasons, the motor neurons die and the muscles they control no longer function. ALS gradually causes paralysis. There is currently no cure for it, and most patients live three to five years following diagnosis. It took us a few days to even gather the strength to tell our son, his wife and our daughter. We all sat together in our backyard, and I announced, “Dad has ALS.” The tears were immediate and long; shock and disbelief followed. We all hugged and held each other, saying we would fight this together. My speech is difficult to understand because I’ve lost those neurons that control the larynx and voice. So although I still have

64 good mobility and strength to play golf and get around, I have all but lost the ability to speak. I now communicate by typing into either an app on my iPhone or a special communications device that speaks for me. At this stage of my life, Andrea and I have prayerfully determined to live, focusing on our faith in God and spending quality time with family and friends. And going to the Masters. When we began to talk about my disease, there was an immediate outpouring of love and support from all over the country, from my college fraternity, my colleagues at work and a community of friends and family. We have felt totally blessed and honoured to have so many friends who truly care. Once I was playing golf with some college friends and they asked me about my bucket list. I said if I had one, going to Augusta National to watch the Masters would be on it. So a week prior to last year’s Masters, Andrea couldn’t keep it a secret any longer. My friends had planned a trip for us to go to Augusta. Naturally, I was over the moon with excitement, and I sent a message of thanks to my buddies. Later I learned that more than twenty guys and their families had pitched in and were involved. Additionally, another long-time friend called and told me that his friend, PGA TOUR pro Robert Allenby, had two badges for us for Wednesday’s practice round and the Par 3 Contest. Then the unthinkable happened. Robert texted Andrea to ask

65 if I would like to caddy for him. Of course Andrea knew I’d love to. When we arrived at Augusta National, the head of security helped me get authorisation to take my voice machine onto the grounds. She was gracious and helpful towards my unique situation. As we made our way to the expanse of the course, I just took it all in – the water, the hills, the azaleas and the endless pine and dogwood trees. That afternoon we met Robert Allenby, who welcomed us and introduced me to his regular caddy, Joe Damiano, who gave me instructions and told me where to meet for the Par 3 Contest. Meanwhile, Kimberly Gay, TOUR pro Brian Gay’s wife, contacted Andrea and asked if we could spend some time with them. We were overwhelmed with joy and gratitude that these PGA TOUR stars and their families would be so kind to complete strangers. On Wednesday we met Robert and Joe again. From the clubhouse we went to the starting hole at the par-3 course. The crowds were large as Arnold Palmer, Jack Nicklaus and Gary Player had teed off just two groups ahead of us. Many of the players had their kids or grandkids caddy for them. What was really cool was that each of the players took time to sign autographs for hundreds of children throughout the afternoon. The experience for me was somewhat surreal, to be at the

66 Masters, to meet the players and the caddies and to be inside the ropes at the Par 3 Contest. Robert was gracious, kind and accommodating to everyone but made sure to always stay in conversation with me, especially when my speech was so hard to understand. Robert played the first two holes of the Contest beautifully, and we were two-under going to No. 3. By the time we were through, we were at even-par – no thanks to my three-putt on the 9th green. Yes, when Robert teed off on the 9th hole, he told me that I would have to make a long birdie putt to make it good. I responded with, “What? I’m not putting for you.” “Yes you are.” After his tee shot, Robert said, “Just tap it because it will go a long way on these greens.” So I tapped it, and it went about 3 feet – which was, unfortunately, about 20 feet short of the hole. I putted again, and the ball went right by the hole, long by 2 feet. I then tapped it in. Even-par 27. If I did have a bucket list, my experience at the Masters would have been on it. My friends and the people there made our experience very special. To all the people who made my trip possible I’m grateful Our experience was like no other I had ever enjoyed. Both Andrea and I will cherish our time with the gracious people under the dogwoods and pine trees of Augusta National.

67 Ken B. Marslew AM, CEO of Enough is Enough Anti-Violence Movement Inc.

Kindness in Dark Places

My 18-year-old son, Michael, was murdered during an armed holdup. In the early years following Michael’s murder, I began running programs in correctional centres across NSW. Remember I was a very angry man; I still am, although I use my anger in a positive way these days. I was working with a group of serious offenders, about a dozen men. My subject was “personal responsibility”. During the presentation, one of the offenders said, as many do, “It wasn’t my fault.” I challenged him: “Whose fault was it?” As the excuses flowed I got aggro and said, “Don’t you understand what responsibility means? You crap on to everyone, including yourself. When are you going to grow a set, and accept the truth about your behaviour?” At this point the inmate, a big man with a shaved head and

68 many prison tattoos, jumped to his feet and lunged at me. To my surprise, two of the other inmates in the group also jumped up and restrained the original inmate, saying, “Can’t you see this bloke is trying to help you? Sit down, shut up and listen.” He did. This act surprised me, and was one of many things to happen to me in prison, which made me see inmates in a different light. Even in the darkest places, there is good in the supposed worst of us and, dare I say, there is some bad in the best of us. d Ken B. Marslew AM is a NSW Senior Australian of the Year 2010 State Finalist. He was foremost in establishing the Charter of Victim Rights in 1996.

69 Father Chris Riley, CEO of Youth off the Streets

Rod’s Story

A couple of months ago, I was responding to some questions from a journalist who wanted to write a story about Youth off the Streets. The first question was: “Can you tell me a success story?” I was answering these questions via email. My response was: “Certainly, I have a very special success story.” I began to write about a young man who I had worked with for the past ten years. Our first encounter with Rod was when my street team found him living on the streets and using heroin. He entered our Drug and Alcohol program and it took him a few tries to get clean, but he did. He then transferred to our residential services in the Southern Highlands and I had the privilege of teaching him English from Year 10 through to HSC. I had taught HSC English for many years, but had never given 10 out of 10 for an essay, until Rod. He had the ability to develop great insight into texts and an ability to communicate those insights through

70 the written word. When he left our services, he got into university and was in third year. Another incredible achievement. He was a young man who was larger than life. He loved helping others and volunteering. He would attend every camp for kids with disabilities and was always the carer for the most challenging young person. He showed such great love and concern. He travelled to East Timor with us to the orphanage where he engaged the hundred orphans very powerfully – swimming in the river with kids all over him, playing games for hours in the stifling heat. They loved him. He also travelled to Albania and worked on a garbage tip which was the home of hundreds of people. I remember him playing soccer in the squalid surroundings. When I decided to travel to Aceh after the 2004 tsunami, after returning from the first visit, he saw some of the media and rang me saying, “I’m coming to Aceh with you.” I replied with, “Not this time, Rod.” He asked, “Why not?” I explained that it might be too dangerous. A Catholic priest in a strong Muslim community may cause problems; there were real health concerns as thousands of bodies still lay in the open and the dogs were beginning to eat the bodies; and finally, the guerrilla army was still killing on average four Indonesian soldiers a night. His response was, “Well, you are a hypocrite.” To which I replied, “Oh yeah, how am I?”

71 He then reminded me of something I had used in a HSC class, quoting Dr Martin Luther King Jnr. “If a man doesn’t have anything worth dying for, his life isn’t worth living.” I asked him, “And you are prepared to die over this?” “Yes, I am.” I replied, “Let’s go. You can be part of the first volunteer group.” Again he performed incredibly. He was in the first team to respond to the Macquarie Fields community after the terrible riots in early 2005. * * * As I was writing this, another email popped up on the screen and the message was sharp and devastating: Rod had been found dead in the toilet of a hotel that morning. It took some time for the message to really hit me. I went white and something inside me cried out, “What the hell have I done for the past 35 years?” All that effort and all that time – and I had failed. Rod had a mother who loved her son; he was her life and I was worried about her and how this would affect her. When I went to meet her, I started a sentence with the word “if” and she immediately stopped me and said, there are no “ifs”. She also reassured me that I should not think that I had failed, as he had achieved so much in the last ten years. From her deep grief, she was looking after me and I will never forget her kindness.

72 After I had performed the funeral, I heard his friends talking about the fact that he had been sexually assaulted as a young boy. It hit me hard, that this was the one bit of information I never had. I then understood how from time to time he would be overwhelmed by an absolute darkness that I believed related to that terrible part of his life. d The various roles of Father Chris Riley AO have included teacher, youth worker, probation officer, residential carer and principal. He has been the recipient of many awards for his work, including the Lions International Humanitarian Award in 2009. Father Chris was the first Australian to receive this prestigious award. www.youthoffthestreets.com.au/

73 Simon Rountree, CEO of Camp Quality

There is Much to See if We Can Close our Eyes for a Moment

Life is always full of surprises, some of which come from the most unexpected source. And so this was the case for me when a young girl’s act of kindness taught me about the importance of listening. It was a normal sunny afternoon when I went to pick my son up from school. I was in a hurry trying to juggle work and family commitments and make certain timelines for both. When I arrived the school bell had gone and the playground very quickly became a sea of noise. Children were excitedly running around everywhere and screaming, playing games with each other whilst parents continuously called out their children’s names in the hope of catching their attention. A thousand people crisscrossed and zigzagged their way through the playground, each hopeful of making it to their destination without collision. I found my son and was keen to get moving out of the playground so I could get back to the quietness of my car and resume my work phone calls. We had navigated ourselves about half way across the playground when I felt a hand tap my back.

74 I turned to see a small girl who I had seen before. She was in my son’s year but I had never met her. She was holding a white cane in one hand and something else in the other. She stuck out her hand and said, “You dropped this and I think it’s your credit card.” Thinking to myself that the card must have fallen out of my pocket and knowing that the girl was blind, I asked how she knew. She replied, “I heard it when it hit the ground after you took your keys out and I can feel that it’s a credit card. I picked it up and followed the sound of your keys.” I was amazed that amongst such noise and commotion she could hear something so soft. I thanked her, then watched as she turned and navigated her way back across the playground to her mother without any fuss or acknowledgment that what she had done was any big deal. This girl’s act of kindness not only stopped me from losing my credit card but gave me something far more important. In that moment I learnt a valuable lesson about the importance of listening and being in the moment. By rushing and always thinking ahead, I was missing out on so much of what was happening now. Having made a mental note of who her mother was the next time I saw her at school, I went up and thanked her for what her daughter had done and the lesson she had taught me. The mother said to me that her daughter was always teaching her things and one of those was that there was much for us to see if we could only close our eyes for a moment.

75 Elissa Scott, Recruitment Agent, Budgewoi NSW

From Disappointment to Delight

My stepdaughter Kim, my son James and I attended a Rod Stewart concert three years ago. After parking the car, we went to the entry gates where our tickets were rejected at the turnstiles. We tried again, and this time the buzzers went off. The attendant said: “Something’s wrong with your tickets, please proceed to the Ticketek office desk.” We went over and the worker told us: “These tickets are useless and not worth the paper they are written on. They have been bought with a stolen credit card and sold to you on eBay. It’s a case of fraud and they are worthless. Sorry, but there is nothing we can do. You can contact eBay tomorrow to see if they can sort it out.” He informed us that we would have to purchase more tickets if we wanted to see the concert. Three hundred and eighty dollars down the drain and no Rod Stewart concert! I began to cry. My crying got heavier as we walked back through the crowd to our car.

76 All of sudden, out of the blue, a man stopped me and asked me why I was crying. I explained to him that our tickets were fake. He said to me, “Don’t cry, I have three tickets you can have – my friends haven’t turned up.” I didn’t believe him at first, but he was telling the truth and walked us in. He wanted no money, but for us all to sit with him and not to miss the concert.

77 Sarah Garnett, Founder of the Benjamin Andrew Footpath Library (TBAFL)

Superman in Disguise

In 1991 my sons were aged two and four and we were living with our much- loved dog, Tash. One day, being a typical labrador, she escaped through the front gate and promptly disappeared into thin air. For two weeks my husband and I combed the neighbourhood and surrounding suburbs, put up fliers offering a hefty reward and returned home to two crying children. It was awful. To make matters worse, Tash had been a gift to my husband and he was harder to console than the children. In the area lived a local character called Bob. He was an eccentric, unkempt old man who walked the streets delivering junk mail and was widely ignored by our community because he was different. Two weeks after our dog vanished, Bob came to the door so

78 excited he could barely speak. Tash had been dognapped and was living in a house 100 metres up the road! He had recognised her when walking past, confronted the woman inside and threatened to dob her in to the police if she didn’t call us within two hours. When the woman called, she said that Tash had wandered into her garden and was obviously hungry (Labradors are always hungry!). She thought the dog looked thin (she was 18 years old!), had taken her to the vet, and would not be returning her until she was reimbursed several hundred dollars. We gladly paid the ransom and took our very sheepish dog home to two overjoyed children. Bob’s act of heroism had a huge effect, not least on Bob himself. From then on he strutted around the neighbourhood with his chest puffed out, telling everyone how he’d saved our dog. And we told everyone too. The boys thought he was Superman in disguise and we made a friend for life. d Sarah Garnett and the Footpath Library, an organisation that delivers books to the homeless and disadvantaged, benefited from Channel 9 TV show Random Acts of Kindness in July 2009. www.footpathlibrary.org/

79 Joy Robertson, Homemaker, Narrogin WA

The Kindness of Strangers on Country Roads

Many years ago I was travelling on a lonely country road when my headlights failed. I had my two children with me. It was dark and they were hungry. I looked under the bonnet and couldn’t see what was wrong. I wasn’t able to let my husband or anyone else know that I was stuck: back in those days, there were no mobile phones. I did not know what to do. After I’d been sitting in the car for quite some time, a stranger pulled up and asked me what was wrong. I explained my predicament and he proceeded to look under the bonnet. The relay switch had burnt out and needed to be replaced, but how? I was stuck on the side of the road miles from anywhere and it was after 10 o’clock at night. My knight in shining armour, complete with a European accent, solved my problem. He hooked the wires direct to the battery and got my lights working. Advising me that I’d have to disconnect the battery lead to switch the lights off, he watched me get under way before

80 returning to his vehicle and resuming his trip. I never saw the man again but have always felt very grateful for his help. Another time, I was travelling alone, also on a country road at night, when my car broke down. Again, stranded with no mobile phone or two-way radio, I was well and truly in trouble. Many cars went past in a shower of stones and dust. My kids were expecting me but I had no way of letting them know what had happened. A truckie pulled up. Parking his big rig in front of my little car, he was a most welcome sight, I can assure you. He located the electrical problem and found a way to solve it: “For now, at least it will get you home.” Then with a cheery wave he was on his way. I was very late getting home to my kids but at least I got there safely. These kind folk who’ll pull up a big rig to help a stranger are my heroes. Knights don’t ride big white horses these days; they drive big semis and carry a multitude of useful gadgets. I salute them all.

81 Leanne Duerkop, Homemaker, Melbourne Vic.

A Brave Kindness

It was Christmas time and the centre was full of shoppers. My sister was shopping with her two children. She sat down to have some lunch with her kids, but soon they were playing up so she went off with them to do the rest of her Christmas shopping. Filling her trolley with all the presents she needed and with two screaming kids, she headed for the register. She unloaded her shopping and went to grab her hand bag to pay for it, but couldn’t find it. Realising she had left her handbag where they had eaten, she rushed back to get it but it was gone. The poor thing was an absolute mess. All her money was gone along with all her important cards. My sister then went to centre management and as she walked in to ask if a handbag had been handed in, an old lady was there handing it over. My sister burst into tears. She couldn’t stop thanking the old lady and wanted to give her a reward. All the old lady said was, “You keep your money, dear. I’ve done my good deed for the day and that’s made me happy.” My sister couldn’t believe her luck. The lady behind the desk told her that the old lady had seen

82 my sister leave her bag and then a group of young girls had picked it up. While my sister was busy chasing her kids, the old lady was chasing the group of girls for my sister’s bag. She had walked up to the group and told them to hand it over to her. They tried to play dumb but the old lady wasn’t moving without the hand bag. If only there were more people like that lady. She was not only honest and caring, she was very brave to approach a group and demand the bag back. My sister did not know the lady’s name but she made her and her kids’ Christmas a very happy one.

83 Lindy Jones, Professional Speaker, Blacktown NSW

The Bumpy Road of Kindness

The bumps in my life were getting bigger and bouncier – literally and metaphorically. I was 22, seven months pregnant and mum to a one-year-old child. I was married but facing the reality that after seven years together, my husband had no intention of sticking around. He was leaving me and he was leaving our children. Around the same time I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes. I was devastated as I was forced to begin giving myself injections to control my blood sugar levels. However, the determination to keep getting up each morning was encouraged by the thought that eventually I would hold my two babies. In fact, many days it seemed that they were my only reason for going on. But something happened. As people heard my story – friends, family, strangers – I was shown kindness in the most amazing way. I began to receive letters and cards in the mail from people I had

84 never met, gift baskets from strangers and money from people I still to this day have no way of identifying. I had people cooking for me – a meal each night for almost two weeks. I had boxes of nappies arrive at my door step and a hamper from a church group who I had nothing to do with but just wanted to show that they cared. A friend of a friend came around to my house and mowed my lawn for me, often on incredibly hot, humid days. I had someone clean my house for me – I was embarrassed to admit that it needed it, but being so far pregnant, the ability to move as easily as normal was limited, to say the least. Others comforted me with the assurance of their prayers. With no transport for me to get around, somehow a car turned up that allowed me to still attend regular hospital appointments and bring my new baby home from hospital. People cared. They really, really cared. I have no idea what I did to deserve such an overwhelming response of kindness, but I am incredibly thankful and still, eight years later, in awe. Even as I type this now, my emotions hit a peak that see me confused as to whether I should laugh or cry. I was moved to my very core. The kindness I was shown both from people I knew and people I didn’t was enough to show me that this world is not cold. There are people who care and there are people who think outside themselves and not just about what will be the best thing for them.

85 However, the greatest gift of all that they gave me was the gift of passing on what is good and kind. Just as they opened my heart in the most incredible way to see a world of people who think about and act in the best interests of others, I too have found a passion in seeing others smile by giving back whatever I can to those who need it most. In fact, my deepest prayer is that in whatever situation I face, through trials and triumphs, I will give because I have witnessed first-hand the power of kindness.

86 Stephen Murby FRSA, CEO of Cystic Fibrosis Victoria

Of Gift and Grace

It was June 2005, my partner Nigel and I were on a houseboat holiday on the Murray River, travelling from Moama to Torrumbarry Weir. Just the two of us, at a quiet time of the year and a mobile phone that was nearly always “out of range”. I forget how long we had been travelling but clearly remember it had been three days since we had seen another person on or near the river. It was the first time we had been away for any length of time, just the two of us. (Indeed, a few days later, moored near the weir wall, we expressed our desire to spend the rest of our lives together.) Little did we know that if not for the kindness of strangers, we may never have made it to the weir! Dinners were a bit of a feature. This evening it was braised oxtail, deliciously slow cooked – yet suddenly there was a large piece of tooth in my mouth leaving a great jagged edge behind! What to do … no phone… days away from either our destination or point of origin. Not a soul to be seen. Before dinner when I had taken my evening walk I had found a path that led to a track

87 that led to a reserve that indicated a road to Torrumbarry (five kilometres further on), and from there our map showed Echuca was about twenty kilometres away. So at daybreak there was nothing for it but to leave Nigel with the houseboat and walk to Torrumbarry from where I hoped to catch a bus and get to Echuca to find a dentist, and get back again before nightfall. There was no way of letting Nigel know what was happening. It took a while to make it to the road and then I started to walk in earnest. There was absolutely no one – a great silence broken only by bird calls and the cattle I passed. After some time, along came a little car driven by a kindly woman. She stopped and told me that she never picked up hitchhikers. I told her I had never hitchhiked. We made it to the service station at Torrumbarry but there was no bus and no one heading to Echuca that day (the town is pretty small). So it looked like a long walk! Then the world changed. As the lady who had given me the lift began to leave, her good friends Carol and Lindsay pulled in for petrol en route to Echuca. They were told of my plight and my credentials were confirmed on the basis of a five-minute drive. Yes I got my lift. I got taken to their dentist. I went shopping with them while I waited for an appointment. Carol and Lindsay then drove me all the way back to the track nearest the houseboat. They had declined my offer of lunch (in fact they skipped it to get me to the appointment on time) and of money for fuel. When we

88 parted we knew we would never see each other again, and yet how much of our lives and our stories we shared that day. d Stephen Murby is also the Chair of Carrick Higher Education Academic Board, and Treasurer and Acting Chair of Consumer Health Forum.

89 Tracey Spicer, Former News Presenter for Channel 10 Sydney

Solace in Grief

It was the day Mum finally lost the slender thread of consciousness. Fifty-two-year-old Marcia Spicer was brave, beautiful and bolshie. But cancer had taken it all away. She was an empty effigy of the woman who had made our lives so rich with love and laughter. The doctor gave her seven months. She took every last day. Dad, my sister and I sat by her bedside, held her hand, stroked her forehead, painted her toenails and cleaned the mucous from her mouth. One day, exhausted by grief and futility, I sat on a bench in the lovely gardens of the palliative care ward and quietly wept. A man sat down next to me. At first I thought, “How dare you intrude on my grief?” But then he started talking. He told

90 me the story of his wife, who also lay dying on a small and sterile hospital bed. They had been married for more than 50 years. She was still the love of his life. His eyes shone as he spoke of their time together, the children raised, the lessons learned. “You are an extraordinary man,” I marvelled. “How do you manage to cope?” I asked, desperate for something to fill the aching hole in my heart. “We have our faith,” he answered simply. It wasn’t said arrogantly. He wasn’t trying to convert me. But the look on his face said more than the 774,746 words contained in the Bible. His faith gave him succour. It was his armour. Then he asked about us. Were we people of faith? The Spicers are known for many things: the love of a good party; a deep desire to be near the ocean; a healthy dose of scepticism. But we had abandoned our faith. I realised that this unexpected conversation was a gift. A simple act of kindness. It was as if we were in the trenches and this man – whose name I did not know – was shielding me with his armour. Mum died the next day. That was eleven years ago. I still grapple with the concept of faith, the perils of organised religion and the esoteric nature of spirituality. But I will never forget that conversation; nor the wisdom, kindness and courage that were contained within.

91 d Tracey Spicer has held a long and bright media career. She is currently a fill-in presenter onSky News Australia. She is also a regular columnist with the Daily Telegraph, the punch.com. au website, and regular contributor to Holidays with Kids, magazine, Travel and Lifestyle, Sunday Telegraph, House & Garden, Go Camping and Weight Watchers magazine. Tracey is an Ambassador for World Vision, WWF, the Queensland University of Technology’s Learning Potential Fund and the Penguin Foundation, and Patron of the NSW Cancer Council, the newborn care unit at the Royal Hospital for Women and the National Premmie Foundation. www.spicercommunications.biz

92 Blake Beattie, Founder of International Pay it Forward Day, Sydney NSW

Paying it Forward

After starting international Pay it Forward Day back in 2007, I am truly humbled and amazed at the wonderful people in our community who make such a profound difference. There are so many people who open their hearts to others less fortunate and, in doing so, make this world that little bit brighter. Since Pay it Forward Day began there have been over 250,000 random acts of kindness in 28 countries with sixteen state and city proclamations. Here are some of my favourite examples of people paying random acts of kindness forward: One lady received a $10,000 donation for a liver operation she could not afford. To this day she still does not know who performed the good deed. Another person donated her unused flight credits enabling a family to be reunited at the bedside of a very sick relative. One boy convinced his mother to top up a parking meter so

93 that the car owner would avoid a $79 fine. School children at Heathcote Primary School put together special care packs for sick children in hospital. They also baked Anzac cookies for the local nursing home and collected non- perishable goods for various charities. The children felt great about making others smile :-) The great thing about ‘paying it forward’ is it starts a positive ripple effect of giving in the community and there is no telling how many lives will be positively affected in the process. Of course, we should be paying it forward every day and International Pay it Forward Day is a powerful reminder of the power of giving whereby anyone of any age or background can make a difference. I am a firm believer in the statement: “From what we get we make a living; from what we give we make a life.” We can lift each other up with kindness or get caught up in the busyness of life – it is heartening to see how many people choose the former. The difference we can all make is phenomenal! Together we can make a difference and change the world – one good deed at a time. d Blake Beattie is also the Vice Chairperson of the Life Changing Experiences Foundation and an acclaimed author and international speaker. www.payitforwardday.com

94 Darryl Blake, Best-selling Author, Brisbane NSW

Healing Moments

“Some days are diamond, some days are stone.” Or so the saying goes. We all have memories of outstanding times – days that are imprinted as special for being the very best, or the very worst of our lives. I have been blessed to have many of the former, but I want to share with you how I got through one of the latter. It started out like any other day until I received the telephone call that my only sibling, my older brother, had died. He was only 27 at the time, two years older than I was. While he had been operated on for cancer only a few months earlier, he had been given the all clear and was expected to recover fully. Instead, an unexpected infection saw him pass away in his sleep at home without warning. The news came as a shock – I was several hours by car from home when I received the call, and I immediately turned around to head home. But as if the news of my brother’s passing was not

95 enough, when I got home I found my faithful companion of ten years, my pet dog, lying incapacitated in the back yard. Between calls to my parents and family about my brother, full of grief and bewilderment at the sudden news, I rushed my dog to the local vet. The diagnosis – heart failure. The recommendation – that it would be best to put him out of his pain and put him down immediately. I agreed, and cradled his head gently as his life was extinguished by lethal injection in front of me. What a day! Man’s best friend, my beloved dog put down in front of me, while I was twisting in knots on the inside about the unexpected loss of my brother’s life. Next stop after the vet was to drop into work and let them know I would be taking a couple of days off to help with funeral arrangements. I was half way through explaining the reason why I wouldn’t be coming to work when it all hit me like a tidal wave – the raw emotion of the loss I had encountered over the previous few hours. I started to choke up, unable to keep talking, and began to walk away from my department manager. At this point, the area manager (whom I had never met before) and who had been listening to the conversation, stepped forward. He didn’t let me walk away. He didn’t let me suffer alone. Instead he stepped up, warmly taking hold of my shoulder and turning me back toward him. And without any discomfort he immediately gave me a fatherly hug. At the time it was exactly what I needed, and it wasn’t until some time after that it occurred to me that he had

96 shown compassion and courage in that moment. It’s easy to feel unsure, uncomfortable and let the moment pass when one could really make a difference to another human being in need. He didn’t let the moment pass. He had the courage to act. And that’s the choice that we can all consider when confronted by hurt and pain. To back away in safety, or to take a risk and make a healing gesture. It could be a kind word, a helpful deed or a simple gesture. But it means stepping out of one’s own comfort zone, putting aside one’s own fear of intimacy or rejection, and being there totally for someone else, if only for a few precious moments. But those few moments can truly make a difference. They did for me. And that’s why I remember the actions of a stranger over fifteen year later. d Darryl Blake is a motivational speaker and the managing partner of Leadership Worldwide. He is the best-selling author of business tome, Skroo the Rules – the Flight Centre Story. www.darrylblake.com

97 Anthony Ackroyd, Cast Member of ABC Radio Comedy Show Thank God It’s Friday!

Little Things are Big Things Too

The end of a long day. We have all enjoyed a five-kilometre walk. My wife Anna, son Michael, daughter Brodie and I. A day of gentle sunshine has almost shone its last and we are all happily tired. Time now for a nice cup of tea at home. Anna is at the wheel of our station wagon and reverses out of the car park. She reverses a little too far. We know this is true because the back end of the car drops with a disturbing thump. The sort of thump that lets you know immediately that your cup of tea will have to wait. My significant other has driven the right rear wheel of the wagon over the edge of a ditch. The ditch is not all that deep, just deep enough to ensure that there is absolutely no hope of driving or pushing the car out of its predicament. OK, apply handbrake and evacuate the vehicle. Now what? We stare at the car and it stares back at us with stubborn solidity. Our roadside assistance provider won’t be able to help us with this one. We will need a tow truck. 98 We are in no danger. None of us are injured or in need of urgent help. But the prospect of what lies ahead is not attractive. Since neither Anna nor I brought our mobile phones on this trip, someone will have to walk more Ks into the nearest town to find a public telephone. And since neither of us has brought any money, that someone will also need to find another someone in town willing to part with a little change or lend their phone so the call to the tow truck company can be made. Will a tow truck even come if we have no credit card details to proffer? The only sure thing is that this process will take hours, or, measured from the viewpoint of tired children, an eternity. Marital discord is also a distinct possibility. Then something happens. A 4-wheel drive rolls into the car park. Inside is a man and four children. The man gets out of his car. Is he here to help? No, he doesn’t even acknowledge us, just opens the hatch of his car and … wait … those are chains in his hands. “Saw you from the road,” he says as he lies down next to our car. In the next five minutes he has the station wagon chained to his tow bar. Then he says, “Okey-dokey”, slides into his vehicle and eases down the accelerator. A huge cheer as the right wheel of our wagon climbs over the lip of the ditch. Stress turns to joy. Anna and I add a dozen more “thank yous” to the deluge we’ve already delivered to our saviour. “Your Dad’s wonderful,” I tell the kids in the 4-wheel drive.

99 One of them shrugs. “He always does stuff like this.” Their dad’s name is Frank and we learn a little about him. He’s an ex- policeman, now he’s a DJ at blue light discos, and he lives not far from us. A handshake and “thanks again”, and he and his tribe are gone. “I hope that’s your last ditch effort,” I joke to my wife, both of us relieved and grateful to arrive home. The kettle is soon boiling. As I think about Frank’s actions I realise how quickly he decided to help. There was an embankment between the road and our car that meant our dilemma would have been visible to Frank for only a matter of seconds. He had to register the wheel in the ditch, decide to assist, and then slow down and veer off the road, all in a few heartbeats. But Frank was used to listening to his heart, and because of that he made our hearts so much lighter on the day we met him. d Anthony Ackroyd is an Australian comedian, speaker and writer. He is the creator and Director of The United Nations of Comedy which aims to bring together the best comedy from around the world and build bridges between cultures through shared humour. www.anthonyackroyd.com

100 Jean Kittson, Writer, Actor and Comedian, Mosman NSW

Summer Car Park

My local beach. NSW. 2010. We were surrounded. Four-wheel drives full of overheated squabbling families were desperately circling the car park. We were one of them, crawling behind people in swimsuits licking ice creams, and stopping to ask as innocently as possible, “Are you going?” To add to the agony and as a random act of greed, our local council had recently introduced parking tickets, so now you had to have the right change to pay for the privilege of having a place to put your car. We continued to circle, watching beachgoers walk up to parking meters to notch up another three hours! How selfish can you get? I felt like dobbing them in! I was on the verge of tossing in the towel and screaming at the kids, “This whole planet is full of selfish, selfish people! We are going home, and you can do what we had to do when it was

101 hot – play under the fricking hose,” when suddenly a woman appeared in front of us in a huge hat, flowery caftan, enormous sunglasses and lots of bling. Looking like a refugee from a Gold Coast resort, she beckoned to us. I crept closer, thinking she was going to abuse me for stalking. “You can have this spot,” she said, and then promptly handed over her parking ticket with an hour still left on it. I love humans. They are so random. And so very often kind. d Jean Kittson is an Australian performer, writer and comedian in theatre and print, on radio and television. She made her comedy debut at Melbourne’s legendary comedy venue Le Joke in a series of solo performances, and then in the stage version of Let The Blood Run Free. Kittson is best known for her performances, particularly as a news commentator, on the ABC1 comedy program, The Big Gig, which aired in the early 1990s. Kittson has become a regular guest on ABC1’s The Einstein Factor, The Glasshouse and Channel Seven’s Good News Week. She also had roles in Australian films,The Nugget and Hating Alison Ashley.

102 Helen Dwyer, Relationships and Communications Manager, Hope Street

The Precious Gift of Hope – Andy’s Story

Imagine what it’s like to not know where you’re going to sleep tonight and to have suffered so much rejection and abuse that you’ve lost all hope and self worth. Well that’s how life was for Andy only two years ago. The future looked bleak; he was homeless and living day-to-day from one crisis centre to the next. Everyone had given up on him, they thought he was beyond help; and then he met John. John is a support worker at a semi- supported accommodation program that assists homeless men with the transition to independent living. In spite of the fact that Andy was totally withdrawn and crippled by fear, John had hope for him and accepted him into the program. This stranger had given Andy a most precious gift – Hope! It’s now almost two years since their meeting and Andy is a completely new person. During his time at The Terrace he has gained many life skills, he’s also had to face many fears and overcome some huge challenges and John continues to support him throughout his journey.

103 Andy now works as a cleaner and will soon move into his own place. When asked what he is most looking forward to he says, “I can’t wait to have my own place. I’m especially looking forward to Friday nights, and sitting on the couch with a beer and watching the footy.” d www.hopestreet.org.au

Andy (left) chatting with John from Hope Street

104 3. Acts of Kindness while Abroad

Marian Arnold, Producer/Presenter, ABC Classic FM

My Knight in Black and White

I was very young, travelling in Europe alone. I arrived in Athens by bus late one night and got up the next day full of anticipation. But some time after I left my hostel, I became aware that I was being followed through the streets by somebody I thought looked like a particularly undesirable character. I made several complicated turns designed to lose him, but to my alarm he was not deterred. I was frightened enough to feel that if I made a mistake in where I was going, in this unknown city, I was really at risk. So, hoping to gain some time to think, I sat down at a table in a street-side café. To my distress he followed, and tried to sit down at the same table. But in this café was a waiter who obviously summed up the situation at a glance. Without my asking in any way for help he came to my rescue, not only evicting

105 the man from the premises but pre-empting every attempt he made to re-enter, and allowing me to stay there un-harassed for as long as I needed. I sat there for several hours, stretching out my Greek coffees until it was apparent that there would be no further reappearance from this man. I was so grateful to this kind waiter, who spoke very little English, and who simply brushed aside my thanks with a big smile. And after that I was able to go and visit the Acropolis in peace. d Marian Arnold has been playing music on ABC Classic FM’s listener requests program for fifteen years.

106 Cecilia Dart-Thornton, Author, Brisbane QLD

Kindness is Contagious

I was in my twenties and travelling alone through the UK. Wanting to be able to reach locations that were off the public transport map, I bought an ancient bomb of a car, drove it around for three months and sold it before I returned to Australia. The car cost most of my money, so I lived mainly on porridge during that trip, it being cheap and filling. In Ireland, my Youth Hostels Association passbook was stolen, and Dublin headquarters told me it was impossible to get another. So for the rest of the trip I camped out in my car, being too poor to afford bed-and-breakfasts. One morning I awoke in my venerable Skoda under a gnarled hawthorn tree on a remote lane in the Irish countryside, with no more than a single house in sight. I had a terrible craving for a steaming cup of tea and some hot water to make porridge with so that I would not have to eat the gelid leftovers from the previous day. My thermos had gone cold overnight so I knocked on the door of the house. A woman opened it. Hot water? She wouldn’t

107 hear of letting me get away with just that! I was whisked indoors, seated at the breakfast table with the family, looked after and given a delicious breakfast, as much as I could eat. It was bliss to eat something other than porridge! I ended up being the best of friends with the whole family. Oh, and they filled my thermos before I left … That was only one of many acts of kindness strangers showed me when I was travelling alone in foreign regions. One London businessman rushing to work, seeing me struggling, offered to haul my ridiculously heavy suitcase up several flights of stairs in the Underground. After he’d done so, with a smile and a wave, he vanished into the crowd. Kindness gets passed on, and for good reason – because it makes us feel happy. I acquired quite a rosy glow the other day when I was able to point out a rare parking spot to a young man who had been driving around the railway car park looking increasingly desperate. His grateful smile was all the reward I needed as I dashed off to catch my train. d Cecilia Dart-Thornton is an international best-selling fantasy author. Her books have been reviewed in The Washington Post and New York Times, and have been translated into Italian, German, Dutch and Russian. www.dartthornton.com

108 Tim Fischer AC, Former Deputy Prime Minister and Ambassador to the Holy See

Kindness of a Train-travelling Stranger: All at Sea near the Holy See

After a few weeks as the new Australian Ambassador to the Holy See based in Rome, I needed to escape the crowded and congested but vibrant city of Rome and get some fresh air. So one Saturday morning in early spring 2009, with the sun shining brightly, I caught a bus to Termini Station, then successfully used the automatic ticket machine to purchase a return ticket to Castel Gandolfo and back. All aboard and soon we were hurtling southwards towards the extinct volcano and magnificent crater-lake, about 25 kilometres south of Rome and 1,000 feet above sea level. Suddenly the train came to a screeching halt, near but not at, the Ciampino railway station. After about twenty minutes the conductor ordered us all out in a combination of Italian and increasingly frantic “yelled”

109 English. As we were walked across the tracks and eventually delivered to Ciampino Station, utter confusion reigned. In the course of changing trains I was befriended by a young Californian student who had more Italian knowledge than me. Alas, we found the TV monitors at Ciampino Station conveyed zero information with regard to how to get to Castel Gandolfo after the previous train had broken down. However, the Californian went back to basics and established which was the regular platform for trains to Castel Gandolfo. He then advised me that we should move to this platform. Eventually a train arrived, unannounced, but the new conductor confirmed in the strongest terms possible that this train was indeed bound for Castel Gandolfo. It was a case of “All aboard” again, and within half an hour we were through a tunnel and looking out on the magnificent crater-lake, along with the Pope’s summer palace, and celebrating our arrival against the odds. The name of the stranger who had offered great kindness and guided me in the circumstances was Derek Maudlin, both a student in Italy and budding author with a good outlook on life. All’s well that ends well, although one week later, Derek was mugged in Barcelona and had all of his money taken. The good news is that it was his turn to be helped and I heard that he was rescued and greatly assisted by his friends and family. It has to be said there is something about the ambience of train travel that lends itself to a degree of friendship between strangers and, above

110 all else, the exchange of information when inevitably trains are in breakdown mode. d Tim Fischer AC is a former politician who retired from Parliament in 2001. Tim served as Deputy Prime Minister in the Howard Government from 1996 until returning to Cabinet in 1999. He is also the author of four books.

111 Amanda McLeay, Weather Presenter, Channel 10 Brisbane

Our Oral Angel

I’ve always loved the sound of the Italian language. Its expression, its passion, its romance. And how I wished I’d learnt it – needing urgent assistance in an unfamiliar land, when you don’t speak the language, can prove a great challenge. Throw in an extreme toothache and two weary adventurers with no knowledge of the health system, and you’ll find my partner and me in Syracuse, Sicily in the autumn of 2001. The toothache had been building over time – but a backpacker’s priority is to spend their limited coin on dreams of a lifetime, not dental drills; to embrace life experiences, rather than medical experts. But eventually my travel mate’s severe pain could no longer be ignored, reaching a brain-zapping high just as we arrived at our small hotel. The well-meaning staff behind reception stared at us blankly as we pointed at our mouths, moaning “oooohhh” in

112 a poor attempt to act out a tooth infection and find some medical assistance. We were just giving up, wondering what to do, when a man appeared out of nowhere and uttered four magical words: “You need a dentist?” We sure did! And we were in luck – his best friend was the town’s most reputable tooth doctor, and would see us without delay. Our Oral Angel not only made the appointment, he insisted on driving us to it, then shuttling us to the farmacia to stock up on medication as well. If it wasn’t for his generosity of time and spirit, we would have been in all sorts of trouble. We certainly wouldn’t have been able to savour the culture and colour of such a magnificent town. We wouldn’t have been able to taste the best seafood Sicily has to offer at the local markets. Or soak up the history during our relaxing sunset strolls. Our new Italian friend brought back my partner’s smile – quite literally – and wouldn’t accept anything in return. As for the language? The translation of the dentist is il dentista … a lot easier to say than to act out!

113 Shane Stuart Ellis, Lawyer and Executive Director of Equity Protect Business

Giving Gives Back

I truly believe that there are a lot of magical messages and insights portrayed in many Hollywood movies that we can all learn from. I love the part of the movie Evan Almighty where God, played by Morgan Freeman, turns to the very Moses-like Evan Almighty, played by Steve Carroll, and says to him, “Have you worked it out yet?” Evan looks at God and says words to the effect, “Worked what out yet?” God says, “The whole ARK thing?” Evan looks perplexed. God says, “ARK stands for an Act of Random Kindness.” A look of understanding sweeps across Evan’s face. In late 2007 I was with my family in France for the Rugby World Cup. On this particular day we had been at a Laundromat getting some of the essentials cleaned before the next leg of our journey, and I had wandered around the corner to the local

114 7-Eleven type of store. I was standing at the checkout with a cool drink. In front of me in the checkout line was a little African French boy with the family groceries on the counter and a small ice cream. He had paid for the groceries for the family’s evening meal and was pushing the coins from the change around in his hand in a frantic way to get them to add up to enough money to be able to afford the ice cream treat. His parents must have told him that if there was enough change he could buy himself a treat. I often used to have the same types of trips to the corner store for my family when I was a kid. Anyway, it was clear that he didn’t have enough money for the ice cream. I looked at the checkout lady and said to her in English that I would pay for it. The little boy had no idea what I said and looked at me and then at the check­ out lady who smiled and explained to him in French what was taking place. The little boy looked up at me and presented me with one of the biggest, cheesiest grins I have ever seen on a child. He was beaming from ear to ear. He politely said to me, “Merci monsieur, merci!” and grabbed his family’s groceries, and his ice cream treat, and skipped off down the street as happy as a lark. My Act of Random Kindness had cost me about one euro. The little boy was ecstatic. I was even more so. The feeling I got when he smiled at me and humbly thanked me in French paid for that simple one European dollar many thousands of times over.

115 Every day I watch out in life for where I can help someone. Letting people into lines of traffic, or talking to older people who look lonely, or wherever an ARK opportunity may arise. When I speak to students in the senior years of high school in my lectures I tell them my story of Evan Almighty and then about the little French boy. I then invite them to look towards applying the ARK principle every day in their lives, noting what a great place our world would be if we all took the time to do so. How about you? Why not seek out your opportunity for an Act of Random Kindness each day and see how it changes your life, let alone those who receive your little gifts. Enjoy!

116 Justine Davies, Columnist for The Australian

Sometimes it’s the Smallest, Trivial Things that Stick in the Mind …

For professional reasons I spend a fair amount of time in news processing: reading, surfing the net, watching the evening bulletins. And sometimes when the news is bad it would be easy to believe that the world is a selfish, uncaring place. Yet when I walk my kids to school and kindy each day, I see plenty of evidence to the contrary. Small acts of kindness are all around us. There is the chap who leaves for work super-early each morning, but who helps his elderly neighbour first by retrieving her newspaper from the lawn and leaving it on her doorstep where she can reach it more easily. There is the young mum who walks two other dogs each day when she walks her own, and the family across the road who offer bags of apples and limes to all and sundry when their trees are laden. These acts of kindness help to transform a street into a community.

117 And there are plenty of examples further afield, of course. Despite their frenetic pace of life, New York and Tokyo are two of the most amazingly friendly and courteous places that I have ever experienced. It was on a plane flight a few years ago between these two cities that I experienced a random act of kindness which I will always be grateful for. My husband and I were at the tail end of a three-week holiday in the USA and about to head to Japan for a week. We had taken our two small daughters, aged two and a half and nine months respectively, with us. Our first overseas experience as parents. Anyone who has travelled with small children will know that it is an amazing, exhilarating – but extremely exhausting – experience! By the time we reached John F Kennedy International Airport for our late-evening flight from New York to Tokyo I was – well – it’s fair to say that I was running on reserve energy. Beyond tired. As a parent, though, there’s no such thing as catching a quick nap. So we herded our wide-awake-and-full-of-energy kids through the various lengthy check-in points, corralled them into and out of a café, negotiated them through the crowds of people and generally tried to amuse them for the two hours or so before we boarded our flight. I was so looking forward to boarding that plane, putting our oldest in front of a DVD and settling our youngest into the bulkhead crib that we had pre-booked. I figured that I had just about enough energy and good humour left to get to that point! In boarding, though, as we squeezed our way down the aisle,

118 I realised that we had lucked out in terms of the bulkhead – it wasn’t to be! Instead, we were in a cramped middle row with seats in front and behind, and I was looking at the prospect of trying to nurse (and restrain from crawling around the cabin floor) my wriggly, so-not-tired nine-month-old for the next twelve hours. There was no chance of moving – the flight was packed. I know that it sounds trivial, but if I had just finished a marathon and someone told me to run another one straight away I couldn’t have been more crushed. Still, we settled in and tried to get comfortable. Then there was a tap on my shoulder. “Excuse me Ma’am,” said a pleasant-looking man. “Would you like to exchange seats with us?” He gestured to where his wife and young daughter were sitting – further towards the front of the plane – in a bulkhead row. “Our daughter is eight, she can amuse herself quite happily on the flight,” he continued. “We thought that you could better use the space.” To exchange our cramped, middle-row seats for a bulkhead row? Surprised, we thanked him but shook our heads, no. It was too generous. He insisted though, and we soon found ourselves changing seats. The extra leg room and, more importantly, the crib for our baby, made the world of difference to our comfort. We ransacked our hand luggage and found a gift for his daughter as a thank you, and finally relaxed. It wasn’t a world-changing action and may seem like a silly example to readers, but often it’s those small acts of random

119 kindness that stick in the mind. Whenever I think about that lovely couple it brightens my day. d Justine Davies is a finance writer, blogger and author of How to Afford a Baby, How to Afford a Husband and An Inconceivable Notion. Justine writes a weekly finance column for the News Limited papers, is the money expert for Women’s Health magazine, Practical Parenting magazine and Body+Soul, and has long-running blogs on “Essential Baby” and “News. com.au”. www.justinedavies.com/

120 Emma Ayres, Presenter, ABC Classic FM

Pyjamas in Iran

It had been a long day. I was in the middle of a what you might call an adventurous, maybe idiotic, solo bike ride from England to Hong Kong, and had spent a hot day cycling about 150 kilometres from Yazd, in central Iran, to a tiny little town with one tiny little hotel. A tiny little hotel where I planned to stay the night. Iranian New Year is an all-encompassing affair, something which I had not quite realised when depending on this hotel for my bed. In fact, when I turned up on my bicycle, suitably dressed in demure clothing and really quite tired, I was understandably disappointed when I found out the hotel was closed for New Year celebrations. I stood outside the building, trying to not look as forlorn as it did, and weighed my options: No. 1 – bang on the door until they let me in No. 2 – camp in the desert

121 No. 3 – cry No. 4 – go to a mosque and rely on famous Muslim hospitality No. 5 – call my mum Out of these, I felt that really only numbers 1 and 4 were sensible options. Just as I was mulling them over, a handsome bearded man with a deranged-looking small boy came over to me and said in halting English, “You need sleep?” I certainly did. Sleep, a lot of food and indeed a beer wouldn’t have gone astray, however I stuck with the sleep thing and said “Yes please!” And so it was that I followed the man on my bicycle, him driving his Hillman Hunter, to his home in this tiny town in the middle of Iran. Nobody knew where I was, nobody knew me there and I could only trust my instincts. The man was a primary school teacher; he and his wife had just this one terrifying-looking child, but they had many cousins, all of whom were invited around to meet me and eat a meal of outstandingly delicate chicken, rice and yoghurt. We sat on the floor on rugs, they happily felt my muscles and examined my bike, then we all went out for a drive around the town. The grand highlight was the azure-coloured mosque, a religious ship in the desert sea. The man’s wife lent me her chador so I could enter, and when we returned home, they rolled out their bed for me, and the man lent me his pyjamas. I wonder if the manager of the tiny little hotel would have done the same …

122 d Emma Ayres has been the presenter of Classic Breakfast at ABC Classic FM since 2008, but began working there in 2004. Before working in radio she was a professional viola player for twelve years, studying at London’s Royal Academy with members of the Amadeus Quartet and later working for the Hong Kong Philharmonic Orchestra.

123 4. Acts of Kindness in the Formative Years

Morris Iemma, Former Premier of NSW

Goodness is All Around Us

I’ve got rich memories of some special people who were there when I needed them as a child and a teenager, and I’m proud to share their stories because I could never have achieved anything in life without their kindness and generosity. The first story is about a elderly couple called Mr and Mrs Poulter, who looked after me while both my parents, recent migrants from Italy, worked six days a week in factories. In fact, I spent so much time with these wonderful people they became my “Nan and Pop”. Sadly they’ve passed on now but I’ll never forget them. Two other special and enriching influences were teachers – Mrs Erskine and Mr Cohen.

124 Mrs Erskine was my English teacher, and she showed me that with patience and care, average kids can have a chance too; while Maurice Cohen, my economics teacher, taught me that economics is not just about profit but about people. Both of them helped fuel the sense of community service and social justice that impelled me into politics and sustains me to this day. The other big influence was my old footy coach, John Vizard, who taught me that success comes from character, persistence and effort – not showmanship or glamour. Another abiding influence. Now these men and women would probably argue they were just doing their jobs. But for a shy, suburban kid growing up as an only child, these ordinary heroes changed my life – for the better and forever. We should never wonder where the goodness has gone. It is all around us. d Morris Iemma was the Premier of New South Wales between August 2005 and September 2008.

125 Geraldine Brooks, International Best-selling Author and Pulitzer Prize Winner

Miss Glasby

I never met Althea Glasby, but her kindness shaped my childhood. Miss Glasby was a friend of my grandfather. I have no idea how they met; I know they shared an interest in Eastern philosophy. From time to time, they would meet with friends at Miss Glasby’s little house in Bondi to read and discuss the works of Tagore, Krishnamurti and others. At some point, my grandfather must have mentioned that his little granddaughter loved to read. From then on, every birthday and Christmas, a parcel would arrive containing a book that Miss Glasby had chosen for me with exquisite care and insight. We didn’t have a lot of spare cash when I was growing up, so most of the books we read came from the local library or from my father’s inspired ability to ferret out bargains in used bookstores. The books Miss Glasby sent were different: expensive editions,

126 beautifully bound, lavishly illustrated. One of the first was Orlando the Marmalade Cat, an extraordinarily engaging book by the writer and artist Kathleen Hale. I have it, still: foxed and dog-eared now from many loving readings, its price, 8s 6d, an inscrutable code by the time I took it down from the shelf, a few years ago, to read to my own son. Somehow, Miss Glasby had an unerring instinct for choosing the very book I needed to have as I grew and changed. Lamb’s Tales from Shakespeare arrived just in time to open an important door leading to an intense infatuation with the bard. When I was twelve, she sent me The Lord of the Rings, just as Tolkien was achieving cool cult status. A few years later, the I Ching arrived, allowing me to impress my adolescent girlfriends with my insights into the nexus between Jungian psychology and ancient Chinese wisdom. As with all the book she sent me, it was inscribed, in blue fountain pen and a lovely, fluid hand:

To Geraldine with love from Althea Glasby The signature is almost calligraphic, with flowing curves and a confident scrolling flourish from the tail of the letter Y. I spent a long time looking at that signature, imagining the woman who had written it. I saw lace collars and silver curls, flowered frocks

127 in fine fabrics and suits with peplums. I have no idea if I saw correctly. I also have no idea why this woman spent so much time and thought on a child she didn’t know. My grandfather had other grandchildren, and she did not send books to them. Whatever the reason, I wish I could thank her in person. I wish I could tell her how those books shored up a love for the written word that grew over time into a career and a calling. I would like to give her one of the books I’ve written, a nice, hardback first edition. The signature wouldn’t be as fine and fluid as hers, but in my own pedestrian scrawl I would say thank you, for the gifts that helped to lead me to a life in books. d Geraldine Brooks won the Pulitzer Prize in fiction in 2006 for her novel, March, which has been translated into 20 languages. Her latest novel is titled People of the Book. www.geraldinebrooks.com/

128 Professor David de Kretser AC, Governor of Victoria

Welcome to Melbourne

A large ocean liner pulls slowly into Station Pier at Port Melbourne and a family – father, mother and two children aged fifteen and nine years – look from the decks at their new homeland. It is a hot summer’s day in late January 1949. It is a different world from the tropical island then called Ceylon, now Sri Lanka, that they left nearly three weeks earlier. They were uncertain what awaited them, other than accommodation that had been booked at a rooming house in St Kilda. The family did not expect anyone to be awaiting them as there were few migrants from Ceylon in Melbourne in 1949. Yes, they did have the name and address of a person in Melbourne. She was the acquaintance of an uncle of the father and was a spinster of Irish descent who lived alone. The ship docked and the family retired to their cabin to organise the transport of their cabin baggage, as the luggage in the hold would follow much later. They readied themselves to leave the ship when a knock on the door was followed by the entry of a diminutive woman of about 50 years. In an accent still with

129 Irish intonation, she announced that she was Lily Turner, the only contact available to the family in Melbourne. She insisted on accompanying the family to their new lodgings in St Kilda, to ensure that they reached the correct destination. It was quite clear that she looked disapprovingly at the quality of the accommodation and invited the family to visit her at her home in Hawthorn, offering to help in many other ways. Two weeks later, the youngest boy developed pneumonia. When this news reached Lily Turner, she sprang into action and insisted that the family should leave their lodgings in St Kilda as this was not suitable accommodation for “the wee boy”. So it was that the family was welcomed to Melbourne, staying with Lily Turner for several months until they moved into their home in Deepdene. This was an act of overwhelming kindness to strangers from another land. It was my family that the story refers to and I am the “wee boy”. d Professor David de Kretser AC has a background in medical research, specialising in infertility and andrology. In 2001, David was named as Victoria’s Father of the Year and in 2006, in the Queen’s Birthday Honours list, he was awarded Australia’s highest civilian honour: Companion of the Order of Australia (AC). David is also a knight of the British Venerable Order of Saint John. 130 Gavin Wanganeen, Former Captain of AFL Team Port Adelaide and Brownlow Medallist

A Legacy of Kindness

When I was seventeen, I moved to Melbourne to play with the Essendon Football Club. The club had organised a family to look after me for the first year or so. This family took me in as one of their own. They had three children around the same age as me. They gave me so much support and encouragement and really made me feel like I was a respected member of their family, even though I wasn’t related to them. I was always included in special family events – weddings, gatherings etc. The way they opened their hearts and their home for me was pretty amazing, considering I had never met them before. They took me in and looked after me right from the word go. Nothing was ever too much for them. If I ever needed anything or had any problems they would always help me take care of them. Looking back, I am now a lot more mature and realise just how important that was for me as a young fella trying to settle in to a new state. Who knows how things would have turned out 131 for me if I hadn’t been taken care of by this family? Things in my football career went well for a long time after that and it was no coincidence. Even now that I am 35 years old, that was eighteen years ago and they still occasionally call to say “hi” and see how I am and how my family is going. It just goes to show what kind of people they are: kind, loving, selflessness, all those things. The sort of people you’d be happy to have be a part of your family. d Gavin Wanganeen is the South Australian Ambassador for Youth Opportunity and has been since 2008. He is also a voluntary ambassador for the Australian branch of the White Ribbon Campaign which is a men’s campaign that tackles violence against women.

132 Natarsha Belling, News Presenter, Channel 10 Sydney

An Act of Kindness I Will Never Forget

I have a very special story to share where I experienced a wonderful random act of kindness that changed my life, both personally and professionally. I was a final year Broadcast Journalism student at Charles Sturt University in Bathurst and had opted to research and produce a radio documentary on mental illness as my major assignment. I researched the topic thoroughly, concentrating on schizophrenia. I discovered a woman by the name of Anne Deveson. Anne was not only a pioneer and trailblazer in female broadcast journalism, but also a passionate advocate for mental illness. Anne’s eldest son Jonathan suffered from schizophrenia for many years. Both Jonathan and his family had been tragically let down by an inadequate health system. Eventually, after years of heartache and fighting an impossible battle, Jonathan died. Anne promised herself she would help break down the social barriers and health system problems associated with mental illness and offer better support for sufferers and their

133 families. She was at the forefront of mental health awareness campaigns and eventually set up the Schizophrenia Fellowship Support Group. I thought Anne would be fantastic talent for my documentary and loved the idea of sharing her story. I believed mental illness was (as it is today) severely misunderstood and the more I could do to raise awareness, the better. I sincerely believed I never had a chance of contacting Anne, let alone interviewing her, but I decided to do my best. This was where Anne’s random act of kindness changed me forever. I managed to track her down and, despite her hectic schedule, she not only volunteered to speak with me, but invited me into her home to personally share her story. Anne spoke with me at length for at least an hour; it was an interview I will never forget. Understandably, the fact that she still carried so much pain and anguish from Jonathan’s illness and death was evident in her eyes and her voice. The interview has stayed with me to this day and highlighted for me the true devastation of mental illness for both sufferers and their families. The experience also cemented my passion to be a journalist. Anne’s journey was extremely important and I felt humbled and honoured to be given that rare opportunity to share it. I am still proud of that radio documentary, not only because I received a High Distinction, but because I had the pleasure to meet a truly gifted, inspirational and passionate mother and

134 journalist who shared a gracious act of kindness and changed my life forever. d Natarsha Belling is a weekend and morning news presenter for Ten News, and is one of the best-known presenters on Australian television. She has won many awards for her work, including the Heart Foundation’s Excellence in Journalism Award and also The Juvenile Diabetes Foundation’s Award for Outstanding Reporting for her coverage of Type 2 diabetes.

135 Eric Bailey, Former NBA Player with the Hobart Devils, Melbourne Tigers, and Gold Coast Rollers

Abandonment to Abundance

In the early months of 1960 two perfectly healthy adults had a vision of conceiving a healthy child who would one day achieve great things, maybe win an NBA championship trophy or become heavyweight boxing champion of the world. Light years ahead of her thinking, the mother-to-be had even bigger goals and dreams for her child. She saw her son becoming president of the United States of America. But once their son was born, they quickly had to reassess what was fantasy and what was reality! Because of abnormal bone deformity in his knees, they were told that their child would never play sport, or rise to the levels of superior status in any areas of life. Instead of support and positive reinforcement that, despite the world’s negative and grim prognosis, everything would be OK, this little boy was abandoned, given up and left to fight on his own. They say that when one door closes another one opens. Not

136 long after being abandoned by his parents, the little boy was introduced to a couple who wanted a child so badly that they were unfazed by the doom and gloom of the medical profession. They looked at the child and saw what could be. They gave this little boy the direction he needed to travel the path to abundance. This child is now a middle-aged man living in Brisbane who succeeded beyond his wildest dreams, thanks to the love and sacrifice of two strangers who became his parents. He played professional basketball for fourteen years with the Hobart Devils, Melbourne Tigers and Gold Coast Rollers. He now speaks around the world to youth, corporate and not-for-profit organisations. That little boy is ME! d www.ericbaileyglobal.com

137 Professor Emeritus Anthony Klein, The University of Melbourne

Mistaken Identity

I count myself as a third-generation Australian because when we arrived in Australia in January 1953, aboard the P & O liner SS Strathnavar, my father stepped ashore ahead of me. And since my grandparents had arrived five years earlier, I can truthfully say that “my father and grandfather were here before me”. Now my father, like all middle-class, middle-European gentlemen, owned a lovely walking stick. He also had an umbrella with a telescopic cover, which made it look like another walking stick. Unfortunately, when we got to Melbourne, in the excitement of disembarkation and fond reunion with relatives, he forgot to take these items with him. I hasten to add that, of course, he had no use for either of them in Australia, but that is beside the point. The following day I was dispatched to take the bus to Melbourne’s Station Pier where the Strathnavar had docked, to retrieve these forgotten items – an adventure that I was mildly looking forward to. It was an interesting ride indeed, from the terminus at East

138 Kew – a middle-class suburb – through the middle of town to Garden City, then a pretty grotty working-class area, so named, along with places like Sunshine, in order to entice English migrants. I got off at Station Pier, parlayed my way up the gangplank and found Harold, the kindly Scottish steward who had looked after us on the voyage from Bombay. He escorted me to the cabin that we had occupied and helped me retrieve the two walking sticks, left behind in the back of the wardrobe. After thanking him profusely, I boarded the bus, back along palm-lined Beaconsfield Parade, with a sense of achievement at having successfully accomplished my mission. Inside the bus, I was taken aback when an elderly, white- haired lady stood up and offered me her seat. Then it dawned on me: she felt sorry for the poor disabled lad with the two walking sticks. I felt mortified but when I explained the situation to her we both had a good laugh – along with several other passengers within earshot. Ever since then, I always remember to stand up and relinquish my seat for elderly people – although, I am bound to say, I may now be counted amongst their ranks.

139 5. Acts of Kindness to Those Less Fortunate

Libby Gleeson, Author, Sydney NSW

A Surprising Act of Kindness

This happened some years ago when my husband and I were living in England. It was a freezing cold night, hats, gloves and coats were on and we were standing in the wind, waiting for a bus. There was the usual mob of inner-city people; the ones who stood out most were a couple of punks. They had the lot: spiked-up green hair, loads of metal piercing their faces, huge boots and ripped army clothing. Most of the rest of us looked away. And then an old man shuffled the length of the queue, hand out, begging. We all found something else to look at – the slush and paper wrappings at our feet, the shop windows at our backs. Except for the punks. They both put their hands in their pockets and pulled out their change.

140 They not only handed it to the old man, they engaged him in conversation until the bus came. I felt ashamed. d Libby Gleeson is the author of 30 books, mostly picture books and novels for young people. She is also the Chair of the Australian Society of Authors, and has done some writing for television: Bananas in Pyjamas and Magic Mountain.

141 Peta Farquhar, Research Assistant, Wesley Mission

Happy Blankets

Over twelve years ago, Lorrie Burgess proudly finished crocheting her first blanket. It was three years since she had been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis (MS) and she had embraced this new hobby to keep her mind and body active so she could fight the condition. She thought she would aim to make 300 blankets before she lost her eyesight and would be unable to crochet anymore. Several months and several blankets later, Lorrie set herself an extraordinary goal: to crochet 1000 blankets for people experiencing homelessness before she lost her eyesight. Many people told her this would be impossible. In August 2007, Lorrie reached her target when she put the finishing touches to her 1000th “happy blanket”, so-called because of the trademark smiley face that her husband, Mike, sews onto each blanket. She likes to make the blankets as colourful as possible because “the people these blankets go to need a bit of brightness in their lives”. Over the years she has been crocheting the blankets, Lorrie

142 has donated them to many different organisations, including aged-care facilities and homelessness services. Lorrie began donating the blankets to Wesley Mission Melbourne about five years ago, where they have been distributed by Wesley Homelessness and Support Services and Wesley Outreach Services. Annabel Austin, Coordinator of Wesley Footscray Outreach, gives the blankets to families who are homeless or at risk of becoming homeless, particularly single and new mothers. “As part of our service, we provide emergency supplies such as food and toiletries to people in need. But when they receive a new blanket, they are so grateful – especially as someone has spent so much time hand-making it,” said Annabel. Lorrie says that while she has had bad times, the happy stories she hears back from the Mission make all the work worthwhile. “They told me one story about a man who slept rough in the city. Someone tried to take his blanket away to give it a wash and he said, ‘No way!’” she says. “He was not giving up his happy blanket for anything. When I hear stories like this, I feel like every stitch has been worth it.” Lorrie says she is not finished yet and, with several bins full of unused wool in her spare room, she is continuing to crochet blankets, albeit at a slower pace now that she has reached her goal. It takes about a week to complete one blanket, and Lorrie generally has about six on the go at any one time. Lorrie’s positive

143 attitude and activity have been very beneficial and doctors have said that the crocheting helps to keep her active and helps her concentration.

144 Glenda Rouxel, Author and Professional Speaker, Blayney NSW

Forbidden Fruit

The elderly gentleman stacked his purchases slowly onto the counter at the produce shop, with a tentative composure. The concern was obvious on his creased face, and his moving lips indicated that he was mindfully calculating the anticipated cost of his combined purchases. I watched myself with worry for this man, hoping in my heart that he would be able to afford his desired food. But it was not to be. His fruit and vegetables came to a total beyond his means. “I’m sorry but you are $5.00 short,” the cashier said softly as if to ease the hurt that she assumed this would cause. All around was a hive of activity and business, but there would have been few people who didn’t notice the embarrassment and disappointment on the gentleman’s face. With a submissive tone he conceded, “I guess I won’t take the apples and bananas then.” The cashier took the “unwanted” extras and placed them carefully onto the back section of her counter. The man unfolded

145 his wallet and began to part with his limited funds to complete the transaction. For one moment I felt an ache in my heart as I imagined him walking away without his fruit, but I did not have time to dwell on it because seconds later, a busy mum with several children milling around her and with a trolley full herself, deftly whisked the two fruit bags away and passed them to her own cashier lady. “Put these on my bill please,” I heard her say quietly to the assistant. The smile on the assistant’s face was huge and I am sure reflected my amazed one. The busy mum picked up the two now paid-for purchases, walked over to the gentleman who was packing his vegetables into his canvas trolley for the trip home, and slid them gingerly onto the top of his groceries. “Here, they’re yours,” she explained. The old man met her eyes for a moment, thanked her politely; maybe not exactly sure what had just happened, but certainly grateful that he had his previously forbidden fruits. The busy mum went right back to her children and burdened trolley and paid for her purchase without missing a beat. I wanted to rush out and commend her generosity but her mind was now elsewhere as she chatted with her kids and loaded up her car. I guess kindness is all in a day’s work for some strangers.

146 Di Knowles, Teacher, Moorook SA

Ten Cents for a Hero

One Sunday morning I stood like so many others at the counter of my local supermarket waiting to pay for my Sunday morning paper, impatient to hurry home, cook an astounding mound of eggs and bacon, brew a good strong cup of tea, put the morning radio on low, and then read all that this world and our nation had to share with me. I stepped back to allow an elderly gentleman to head towards the counter for his paper; his outstretched hand shaking and wrinkled with years of hard graft held a mix of coins. I was taken aback when the woman behind the counter started to berate the elderly gentleman for being ten cents short for his paper. Silence fell and all those waiting started to shuffle their feet and look at the floor. We all heard the old man explain he would drop the coin in next visit; we all heard him offer to walk home and return later that morning. Amidst the embarrassment and accusations about being a drain on society, only one person heard him say that he had fought for this country in World War II. Only one person saw

147 past the frail old man who stood before this Sunday morning audience wanting their papers and saw the hero that he was. We forget that the easy morning Sunday breakfasts and paper-reading sessions we take for granted are because of men like the one who now stood in the store being told to put the paper back until he could afford to pay for it. One person, a young single mum complete with too many earrings and a tattoo, stepped forward and handed the checkout lady her precious ten cents before turning to the gentleman and loudly thanking him for her child’s freedom and safety. Ten cents was such a small price to pay for the freedom we all relish in Australia.

148 Robyn Henderson, Professional Speaker and Director of Networking to Win

A Random Act of Kindness in Reverse

Soon after being interviewed about networking on national radio, I received a call inviting me to be interviewed at an inner Sydney community radio station. A week later I arrived at an inner city house and completed an interview geared to teenagers living in regional communities. After the interview I was invited by Sister Margaret, who appeared to be “the boss”, to have morning tea. “Do you know what this place is, Robyn?” Sister Margaret asked. “Well, Sister, it looks like a house with one room that is a radio station,” I replied. She then explained that in addition to being a radio station, it was also a halfway house for men who had been in jail, rehabilitation for gambling, alcohol or drug addiction. I was then asked if I would be interested in speaking to them at some stage,

149 similar to the radio interview I had just done and, if things went well, that I might consider doing a regular session with them. “Sister Margaret, I am more than happy to speak to the men, but I think networking probably got them into trouble in the first place, so maybe I could focus more on communication and goal setting.” We agreed broadly on the content and, being an author, I offered to bring some books for the men. “Books probably aren’t a good idea, Robyn. Quite a few of the men can’t read, but thank you so much for agreeing to do this,” she replied. The following week I arrived back at the house, not really knowing what to expect. I had worked myself into such a nervous state, not wanting to let Sister Margaret down – as she appeared to have so much faith in me – that I had developed a huge cold sore on my lower lip that really looked quite yucky. As Sister Margaret led me into the room to meet the men, nothing prepared me for their ages. I was expecting a 45-plus age group. Here was a room full of young boys – some of them not even 21 years of age – fresh out of rehab or prison. Thank goodness I, too, had a dysfunctional family, and could totally relate to them. One of the exercises I had the guys do was to share their “win” for the day, something that they were really pleased about. Some of them had to think back a week, some even a month, before they remembered something that they were really proud of doing.

150 It was a great night, and really exceeded my and Sister Margaret’s expectations. As we were finishing up, Danny, one of the guys, put up his hand to ask a question. “OK, Robyn, so what was your win for the day?” “Well Danny, this session tonight has been my win for the day. I know many of you are hanging out for a cigarette, but we have been together for 90 minutes now and none of you has walked out of the room. I had visions of all of you walking out within the first five minutes and not wanting to hear anything of what I had to say. And I was so stressed about letting Sister Margaret down, that I created this huge cold sore on my lip – but I’m sure next time I come I won’t have a cold sore.” “Don’t worry about the cold sore, Robyn, you can’t really see it,” said Danny politely. And with that, Sister Margaret arranged a date for the next session. That night was the start of my speaking at the halfway house every three to four weeks for three years. Many nights I drove home in tears, so moved by the stories I had heard from these young men, or the insights that Sister Margaret gave me into their backgrounds. What a gift I had been given in being able to speak to these men – many of whom had just made some really bad choices in their life. On that first night, Sister Margaret walked me to my car

151 and handed me an envelope saying, “We have a small budget for training, so please take this.” Without looking at what was inside the envelope, I handed it back to Sister Margaret and said it was my gift to her and I did not want to be paid ever for these sessions. She insisted on giving me something, so I agreed to accept a bunch of flowers each time, but only if they did not cost more than $10. I never knew or cared how much was in that envelope, but I do know that I learned so much from those young men over that three-year period. And although initially I chose to give a random act of kindness to them on that first night, they more than gave it back to me ten-fold by allowing me into their lives. This truly was a random act of kindness in reverse. d www.networkingtowin.com.au

152 Professor Margaret Reynolds, Former Senator for Queensland and Federal Minister

Opportunity through Anonymous Generosity

It was 1967 when I established a kindergarten for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Island children living in Townsville. A number of well-meaning young women like myself volunteered to organise the three- day program each week because we wanted to help these children better adapt to their first year of school. There was no possibility of funding from government in those distant days, so we decided to arrange a community appeal for donations of money and toys. We launched the Kindergarten Headstart Doorknock Appeal and called for volunteers to help us. Over a weekend, students and community helpers walked the streets of the city in the tropical heat to go door to door collecting donations. Their efforts were well rewarded with a majority of people offering financial support together with messages of goodwill. 153 That was the year of the 1967 Referendum when there was increasing awareness of the plight of Australia’s first peoples and so many locals wanted to show their recognition of those citizens who had for so long been shunned and ignored. The following week, bags of toys began arriving. People delivered soft toys, dolls and teddy bears, cars, jigsaws, books and balls. Children had been asked to choose the toys they were prepared to part with and even very young children proudly passed over their gifts. The kindergarten’s future was assured … we had sufficient money to hire a teacher and there was an adequate supply of toys and outdoor equipment. Our efforts had attracted both practical and moral support … people were encouraging and interested in the role of the new educational program. But then late one afternoon, as I was organising the new toys to surprise the children next day, a large box was thrown from a car. It landed just inside the gate of the church premises where we met. My two-year-old son and I rushed down to collect it, eager to be again surprised by the generosity of strangers. It was very heavy and rattled as I heaved it back to the hall and set it on a table. When I opened it, I found only dirty broken toys and a disturbing note of personal abuse, critical of the kindergarten and all those involved. Despite the overwhelming kindness and support of so many people, I could only think of the person whose “gift” was one of hatred.

154 Forty-three years later, Kindergarten Headstart remains as an established pre-school which has influenced the education and development of thousands of young North Queenslanders. I now celebrate the kindness of all those strangers whose vision created this educational opportunity.

The first group of children to attend Kindergarten Headstart, established at the Uniting Church Hall in Stokes St Townsville in 1967. d Professor Margaret Reynolds served as an Australian Labor Party Senator for Queensland from 1983 to 1999. She had two ministerial appointments during her time in the Senate, serving as Minister for Local Government from September 1987 to April 1990 and as Minister assisting the Prime Minister for the Status of Women from January 1988 to April 1990. Margaret retired from federal politics in 1999, and currently lectures in politics and international relations at the University of Queensland. She is also the State Manager for National Disability Services in Tasmania. 155 Glenn Wheeler, Talkback Radio Host, 2GB 873 and MTR 1377, and Presenter, The Morning Show

Connor – The Kid from Coffs

I was waiting for some friends after the 2009 Aria Awards in Sydney. Standing around in the corridors of Acer Arena after a major event is like a being a small boat bobbing up and down in a busy harbour – there are people everywhere, bustling past in a sea of anonymity. But I noticed a young bloke nearby – only around twelve years of age – sitting in his wheelchair, and hardly able to contain his excitement having just seen his all-time hero Robbie Williams perform Bodies. So we struck up a conversation – actually, he began by asking me if I had enjoyed the show. And from there something very special happened. I was about to form a special friendship – a random friendship – with a very sick little boy. A random act of kindness? Or just the way this very special kid rolls … Connor has a chronic illness called VACTERL syndrome with

156 a bunch of other serious issues thrown in like Crohn’s disease, related Spina Bifida and rheumatoid arthritis. Every day for Connor is a battle in one way or another – medication, operations and daily procedures – just to stay alive. But he doesn’t let any of that get in his way. When he’s not living with his mum at Coffs Harbour, The Children’s Hospital at Westmead in Sydney is his “other” home. And even when he is in hospital, Connor spends most of his time putting a smile on the faces of other patients, medical professionals and staff alike. He is, in one word, amazing. Random acts of kindness are just an everyday part of Connor Maclean’s modus operandi. Connor has his own website and has raised many thousands of dollars for the hospital. He makes sure that the money always goes to helping other chronically ill kids. He is remarkable. After our chance meeting at the Arias, I invited Connor to appear on my radio show on 2GB. He jumped at the opportunity and is a now a regular guest on most Saturday nights. The topic of conversation is never about him nor about doom and gloom … he loves to talk about music and sport and pretty much anything that’s happening. But he always manages to make me and the listeners put life in perspective. For most of us mere mortals who complain about catching a cold, Connor can teach us all a thing or two. He has three “feeding” valves in his little chest, endures chronic pain on a regular basis, and has had more operations and medical procedures

157 than I’ve had baked dinners. But if you’d just met Connor, as I did a few years back, you’d be forgiven for thinking that he is just a particularly happy and positive little boy without a care in the world. Never a day goes by that this kid from Coffs doesn’t make someone else happy and feel good about themselves. He is the master of random acts of kindness – the early morning call on your mobile just to say hello, a song, a joke, an impromptu performance at the Children’s Hospital at Westmead Glenn with Connor – Connor Maclean defines what in the studio selfless random acts of kindness are all about … although he’ll tell you that he’s just getting on with life. d Glenn Wheeler is a talkback radio host on Sydney’s number one commercial station 2GB 873 and MTR 1377. Glenn appears each weekday on Australia’s number one morning program, The Morning Show on Channel 7. He is also an ambassador for The Variety Cerebral Palsy Challenge, The Children’s Charity, Paint a Rainbow Foundation, Parkinsons NSW and Kids Breakfree Charity. www.glennwheeler.com.au

158 Professor Andrea Hull AO, Former CEO and Director of the Victorian College for the Arts

Kindness without Limits

Early in my life in Melbourne I was surprised by the absence of indigenous people in public and daily life, unlike other places I had lived in Australia – Perth, Sydney and Queensland. So I decided to commence a program to support indigenous students to come to the Victorian College for the Arts. After initial support from the Rio Tinto Indigenous Foundation, we had some runs on the board with an increased enrolment and a variety of opportunities to promote cultural understanding. A friend said she had been approached by someone who asked if she could arrange an introduction to me. We met over lunch. The woman said she represented a family who had heard what I was doing, and wanted to support the initiative. “What would you really like to achieve?” asked the woman. “What are the parameters?” I replied.

159 “None. Just give me a sense of what you’d like to achieve.” I painted a bold picture. She said, “Can you put it in writing in a page so I can show the family?” Days passed and the woman rang to say the family wanted to fund the development of the idea into a proper business plan over a five-year period. With the support of indigenous elders and students we developed the plan and sent it off. Weeks passed and the woman rang again to say the family did wish to support the plan, but over seven years, not five, and to increase the funds to $3.5 million. At this stage the family was still anonymous. And so with the engagement of a marvellous leader, Michele Evans, we set about creating a program that would contribute towards a cultural transformation for the entire 3000-strong community of the VCA, because mutual understanding and respect would, we felt, promote a reconciliation agenda. This program became the Wilin Centre, attracting and supporting indigenous students, achieving the relative highest retention and graduation rate in Australian tertiary institutions. It provided opportunities for all students to be taught by indigenous master artists, and for staff and students to celebrate the rich cultural and gastronomic life of our first Australians. This extraordinary initial kindness from strangers attracted further kindnesses from strangers, as others came forward to support indigenous students’

160 films, exhibitions, performance projects and operas. These projects include Jenny Kendall’s award-winning film Dancing in the Dust, Mark Olive’s film which has contributed to his success with his television series, Black Olive, and Deborah Cheetham’s first indigenous opera, Pecan Summer, which had its premiere in October 2010. d Professor Andrea Hull AO has been involved in arts administration and policy development at senior levels for more than 30 years. She was the CEO and Director of the Victorian College for the Arts between 1995 and 2008. In 2003, Andrea was awarded the Order of Australia for services to the arts, arts education and cultural policy.

161 6. Acts of Kindness in Emergencies

George Donikian, News Presenter, Channel 10 Melbourne

“Be Prepared”: Scouts to the Rescue

The incident took place outside the old Doncaster Theatre on Anzac Parade in Kensington. Sydney during the ’50s was a very different place to the Sydney of today. In those days, a tram track ran from the city along Anzac Parade through to Maroubra, before the State Governments of the day decided to remove it, along with a host of others tracks that complemented much of the city’s public transport system. My father Andrew was teaching my uncle Peter to drive, in a beautiful 1938 straight 8 black Buick. The peculiar thing was that of all days he chose this day to take my two cousins and me along for the ride, so as to give my mother Vivian a break from looking after two young children. She’d been busy tending to my baby brother Stephen. With that in mind, he put the three of us in the

162 back seat and told us to be on our best behaviour. He then set off with my uncle, intending to drive from our then home in Kingsford, to the city along Anzac Parade. But as the Buick passed through Kensington, my cousin Leon who was five years my elder, was fidgeting with the handle on the drivers- side rear door, when it suddenly sprang open. The problem was, I had been leaning against the door at the time. In what seemed like slow motion, I fell out of the moving vehicle and landed on the tram tracks, just as an old rattler was making its way to Maroubra Beach. Fortuitously, a group of young scouts was waiting for the tram, and witnessed this little boy falling out of a moving vehicle. They rushed onto the tracks and removed me just as the tram came to a stop. My father, oblivious to what had happened, continued along to Taylor Square until my elder cousin’s urging alerted him to the fact that something was not right. But instead of telling his uncle that I had fallen from the car, my cousin said I had left. Struggling to decipher what he was being told by the youngster, my father looked into the back seat and realised I wasn’t there. You can imagine the horror that rushed through his mind as he tried to comprehend what had transpired. Turning the Buick around, my dad was stricken with a sense of real foreboding. As he arrived at the scene, he saw a gaggle of people in the middle of the road. He jumped out of the car and found a group of scouts, tending to my cuts and bruises.

163 Incredibly, I had survived the fall with only a graze on my knee and slight cuts to my hands. In stumbling English, he explained to the scouts that he was my father. The scouts told him they had taken me from the tracks and checked to see if I had broken any bones, in line with their medical training. Dad offered to pay them for their troubles, but they wouldn’t hear of it; they jumped on the tram and left for Maroubra. I never got a chance to thank them as I was too young … but I remain eternally grateful that they happened to be where they were on that day, when I needed saving. P.S. For years I lived with the image of a man winding his hands in a circular motion. I eventually worked out that the recurring image I was seeing was that of the tram driver forcefully applying the brakes of the tram. d George Donikian has been Channel 10’s news presenter for Adelaide since 1991. He commenced his media career as an announcer with radio station 4AM in far North Queensland in the mid 1970s. His television career kicked off in 1980 and he was the first news anchor for SBS World News. Since the 1980s, George has worked in a number of roles across radio and television.

164 Brigid Foster, Mother, Monbulk Vic.

Kindness in Phuket

My husband John and I had the misfortune of being in Kamala Beach, Phuket on 26 December 2004. At 10 a.m. we left our hotel room and walked towards the restaurant on the beach in front of our hotel. As we approached, we noticed that the water in the bay was behaving in a really unusual way, rising rapidly and coming towards the restaurant at huge speed. We stood with a group of other hotel guests for about 30 seconds before an old man standing next to me turned and shouted, “Run! Run!” John and I turned and ran down the driveway towards the road. As we ran onto the road we encountered the tailor from the shop next door. Seeing that we had no idea where we were going, he yelled, “Follow me!” and ran with us to higher ground. This was the first act of kindness from a stranger on that day. After about half an hour, we decided to return to our hotel to assess the damage. As we started walking back a huge scream went up through the town and people started running all over the place. We instinctively followed the crowd of people who were running away from the wave. We ran about 600 metres away

165 from the sea, up to a small rise. We were the only Westerners on this hill, and no one spoke English. We sat there for about three hours, watching the water gradually recede from the bottom of the rise, before we decided to make a move and find someone who spoke English so we could get an idea of what was going on. The road at the bottom of the hill was covered in a thick layer of mud and silt. After about five minutes a Westerner on a motorbike came along and I waved him down. He said that an earthquake had struck and had caused the tsunami. He offered to drive us to the top of the hill between Kamala and Patong beaches. We gratefully accepted his offer and both jumped on his motorbike. He dropped us off then took off to assess the damage to his property. We were tremendously grateful to him for taking the time to give us a ride, when he had more pressing issues. Westerners in distress were milling about all over the hill. John and I sat very quietly on the side of the road, holding hands and feeling incredibly grateful that we were together, unlike so many other people who were right now searching for their loved ones. A young man came over and asked us if we needed anything. As a recently reformed smoker in need of a fix, I asked him if he had any cigarettes. He opened a plastic bag and handed me a packet of cigarettes and a can of Coke which he explained he had raided from the bar in his hotel when he realised what was happening. I watched this young man walk through the crowds,

166 handing out packets of peanuts and cans of Coke to those in need. As it happened, we had to spend the night on that hill. Our hotel room had been destroyed and we had lost all our possessions, so the only thing to do was to sleep in the open and make our way to Phuket town the next day, and try to get a flight back to Bangkok. During that night, people came to our small group on the hill with clothes and hot food. Someone lit a fire and we huddled around it. We used our paperback books (the only things we had left) as pillows. The thing you learn from an experience like this is how people naturally pull together and help each other out in times of need. The Thai people we were on the hill with had literally lost everything, and yet they took the time to help out a bunch of Western tourists. I think this experience has made John and me better people.

167 Sarah Degabriele, Account Executive, Sydney NSW

Flowers from a Stranger

Not that long ago my little sister was hit by a bus as she made her way to uni one morning. A young boy, perhaps about sixteen, witnessed the whole thing – her attempting to cross the road, being hit by the bus and knocked to the kerb, the ambulance and police coming etc. She was rushed to Royal Prince Alfred Hospital and was thankfully OK. Later that night as she lay in the hospital bed this young boy entered her room with a big bunch of flowers. He was so happy to have finally found her, having spent the day trying to work out which hospital she had been taken to. He just had to see for himself that she was really OK. We never got his name. He sat with her for a little while, gave her the flowers and left. I’ll never forget this!

168 Reverend Professor James Haire, Professor of Theology, Charles Sturt University

Kindness Has No Boundaries

I worked for many years as a missionary and theological lecturer of the Presbyterian Church in Indonesia. I served in the eastern part of the country in the North Molucca Islands, the fabled Spice Islands of old. In the 1980s these islands were very remote, and required, at that time, four flights followed by a boat journey to reach there from Jakarta, the capital. After serving there some years, I became seriously ill with a life-threatening tropical illness. It was necessary for me to seek medical attention urgently in Australia. I was a semi-permanent resident of Indonesia. After a long and difficult journey, I arrived at Ternate, the administrative centre of the North Molucca Islands, and lay in a house while my colleagues went to arrange for my papers to be prepared for me and my family to leave for Australia. It was a Friday morning, the Muslim day of prayer, when all government offices normally opened at 8 a.m. and closed at

169 11 a.m. The only plane for the next four days left on that Friday afternoon. Usually it took two to three days to prepare papers for a resident with my status to depart from and return to Indonesia. The five staff of the Indonesian immigration office were all Muslim. They would normally have closed the office at 11 a.m. and gone to pray in the mosque. Shortly after 8 a.m. my colleague came back to the house and told me that he had lodged all my papers and those of my family for our departure, and that he had been told that I should just wait. I assumed that we would not be able to leave for three or four more days and this greatly worried the nurse looking after me. Suddenly, at about 1 p.m. two jeeps from the immigration office arrived at the house. In them were three of the Muslim officials from the immigration office. My papers and those of my family were all ready. They had done two to three days’ work in just over an hour, all five working together. Moreover, they had kept the office open past normal closing time and would not now be able to attend prayers in the mosque. They came into the house, helped pack the remaining cases and drove me and my family to the airport. Not only had they stayed behind to work, they had also telephoned the airline to make the necessary reservations for us to leave. Here was I, a Christian leader, being cared for by a group of devout Muslims. In the jeep to the airport I asked them why they had acted in this

170 way, and they told me that, in their faith, mercy and compassion needed always to take precedence over religious practices and administration. That compassion probably saved my life. d Reverend Professor James Haire is also Executive Director, Australian Centre for Christianity and Culture; and Director, Public and Contextual Theology Strategic Research Centre.

171 Phillip Adams AO, Author, Filmmaker, Broadcaster and Columnist for The Australian

Thank you, Sean

Thank you, Sean. I only know your first name, I don’t have an address and the chances of you reading this are remote. But perhaps someone will recognise you from what follows and can let you know. Sean, about forty, with a great grin, driving a white Toyota 4WD between Muswellbrook and Aberdeen. Up there with the Good Samaritan, the flying doctor and one of those Saint Bernards with the whisky keg. And talking of saints, I’m writing to His Holiness about Sean’s beatification. Here’s the story. There was movement at the station ’cause the word had got around that it was time to pick the garlic and all the tried and trusted pickers had gathered at the homestead overnight. With the drought back, the last thing we expected was rain. But it came bucketing down and you shouldn’t pick garlic in the rain.

172 Instead, I loaded the farm truck with gear I’d hired to clean out a rain tank. A 50-kilometre drive to drop it off and I was heading home, driving along a stretch of the New England Highway near the prison where poor Rodney Adler was so cruelly incarcerated, when all of a sudden the truck coughed, spluttered and stopped. I just managed to drive it onto the verge. Out of diesel! I was just thinking who to blame – the manager, the family – when it occurred to me that it was entirely my own fault. I’d noticed yesterday it was running on empty and made a mental note to fill up at the farm’s tank. That’s the trouble with mental notes: you forget to read them. Too far to walk back to Muswellbrook or to trudge on to Aberdeen. So I posed seductively beside the truck and started exercising the thumb. I planned to borrow a can and funnel from the petrol station and if I couldn’t cadge a lift I’d call a cab. Bugger it! There goes Saturday morning. Let it be said that I’m good to hitchhikers. Everyone tells me I’m nuts but I mostly stop, even when they look like Ivan Milat. And most of them do. A long succession of drivers turned up their noses. On approach they’d avert their gaze, finding a fascinating detail in the landscape on the opposite side of the road. Others looked at me with implacable hostility. Presumably they hated last week’s column. Then in the distance, a Toyota 4WD. I had an instinct he’d sympathise; us four-wheel-drivers have to stick together. So giving

173 my thumb a quick brush up on my dirty King Gee shirt, I stuck it back in the air. And instantly, without having wasted a second on concerns that I was a serial killer who’d just escaped from the prison, he flashed his indicator. And stopped. He wound down the window and grinned. Great grin. Any chance of a lift to Aberdeen? I sheepishly explained that I was the sort of twit who forgot to read mental notes and was, as a result, out of diesel. And lo! The first of the miracles I’ll be telling the Vatican about to ensure Sean’s sainthood. “Don’t worry mate, I’ve got some diesel in the back.” Whereupon he did a nifty manoeuvre until the trucks’ tails were appropriately positioned. And lo! The second miracle. He had a big tank of diesel, and a hose with a nozzle. And before you could say praise the Lord he’d opened his bonnet, got some leads out, stuck them on the battery terminals – and a little pump was whirring. “Just a litre’ll do me,” I said. “That’ll get me to Aberdeen.” “Nah,” said Sean. “I’m going to fill you up.” And he pumped sixty litres. Third miracle! When I tried to give him eighty dollars he said “Nah” again. Wouldn’t take a cracker. Not even five bucks for a beer. Nor would he leave until he was sure the truck would fire up. (Diesels aren’t like petrol. Run them empty and you might have to “bleed” the engine.) I almost flattened the battery until a

174 cough, splutter and a big fart from the exhaust announced I was back in business. Sean gave another grin and off he went. I hadn’t felt so warm towards humanity in months. What a beaut bloke. I owe him a lot more than eighty bucks. d Phillip Adams has been with The Australian since the early 1960s and his books include Adams Versus God, The Penguin Book of Australian Jokes, Talkback and A Billion Voices. Billed as the “godfather” of the Australian film industry, his features include The Adventures of Barry McKenzie, The Getting of Wisdom and Lonely Hearts. He played a key role in the establishment of the Australia Council and has been Chairman of the Film Radio & Television Board, the Australian Film Commission, Film Australia, the Australian Film Institute, the Commission for the Future and the National Australia Day Council. Honours include two Orders of Australia, Republican of the Year 2005, the Senior ANZAC Fellowship, the Golden Lion at Cannes, the Longford Award (for services to the film industry), the Henry Lawson Australian Arts Award and four honorary doctorates from Australian universities. He was recently elected one of Australia’s 100 National Living Treasures in a National Trust poll. For the last fifteen years he has presented “Late Night Live” on Radio National and Radio Australia.

175 Andrew Fraser MP, Member for Coffs Harbour NSW

From Loss Comes Kindness

In June 2008 our family home burnt to the ground, and the worst part was that my wife and I were in Sydney at the time on Parliamentary business. My daughter and son were the only ones at home at the time and they both tried valiantly to put out the flames. As a result of the fire, my daughter suffered severe burns to her foot and is still undergoing treatment. Among the hundreds of messages of sympathy and support we received in the mail, there was an anonymous letter enclosing a book voucher with a note saying that the donor had suffered a similar loss many years before. This act of kindness was greatly appreciated by my family and me, and we used the voucher to purchase a book which we will put on our coffee table in our new home when it is completed. This will be a daily reminder of the kindness of a stranger. To this day, I have no idea who sent the book voucher but if

176 the person who sent it reads this story, I would like to say thank you from the Fraser family. d Andrew Fraser MP was first elected to Parliament as the member for Coffs Harbour NSW in 1990 and has re-contested five elections since then.

177 Pru Goward MP, State Member for Goulburn NSW

Mr Nice Bloke

Heading out of Goulburn onto the Hume Highway at night is heading onto a battlefield of fast-moving vehicles, particularly trucks. There is no lighting of course and drivers need to perform at their peak. The highway is marked by places when passing a truck in the outside lane requires one thousand per cent concentration on the road ahead and very steady hands – the slightest misjudgment could be fatal. On one such evening I started off, only just in time for my next engagement. Members of Parliament do not have day jobs; ours are twenty-four hour on-call occupations and night engagements are usual. In a country electorate you can add several driving hours to the total; travelling between my two major centres, for instance, is an hour each way on the Hume, in the company of truckies, good and bad, and drivers, good and bad. You get the occasional hoon and the occasionally bad-tempered truckie to make the drive even more interesting. On this occasion I was, unfortunately, running a little late. I had been unable to resist the call of my computer and instead left

178 home at the last minute with nothing to spare. A utility passed me, flashing his lights and tooting. A hoon, I assumed, and continued to drive along as primly as I knew how. The utility slowed down and signalled again, this time the driver winding his passenger window down to shout at me. The face was not crazed or angry, it was concerned so I wound my own down. “You’ve got a flat tyre,” he said, and sped off. Since I am unable to even pull the spare tyre out of the boot, despite what I consider to be decent upper-body strength and an independent streak, a flat tyre in the dark on the side of the Hume was particularly bad luck. I knew the NRMA would take an hour to arrive and I certainly wasn’t going to wave down a stranger and be pathetic. But there is a God. The utility came back. He must have felt sorry for me and in a moment of brilliant insight, realised I could not possibly change the tyre myself. He did it. In about five minutes. He didn’t say who he was and he didn’t hit, abuse or demand money from me. He was just a nice bloke who did me a kindness. I wish I knew who he was. But maybe that’s the point – that we keep Pru Goward opening up the boot of her car remembering random acts of kindness

179 long after they would have been forgotten had we known who they were and could, as they say, find closure by sending a cheque or flowers or a note. Thank you anyway, Mr Nice Bloke. And I won’t forget. d Pru Goward MP entered the NSW Parliament in 2007 as the NSW Liberal Party Member for Goulburn, having served as Australia`s Sex Discrimination Commissioner for six years. She had also been Commissioner responsible for Age Discrimination since 2005.

180 Graham Foster, International Speaker, Brisbane QLD

The Awesome Generation

When I was a kid I had rheumatic fever; I didn’t know that it had long-term implications. Some little time back I was heaving away one night with what I thought was my usual asthma problem and kept taking lots of Ventolin to open up the lungs, but to no avail. So, the next day (my wife’s birthday, 11 November) I went to a lung doctor who took X-rays of my lungs. I sat in his waiting room at the Wesley Hospital, Brisbane, and then he said, “I am sending you back for some more X-rays”. So I waited to be called again and out I went to where the X-rays were taken. They moved the aperture down from my lung area to my heart area and zap! Next thing the doctor came bursting out to tell me that I urgently need to present myself to the cardiac emergency room at Prince Charles Hospital on the other side of town where they were now waiting for me. He explained that I was in the middle

181 of heart failure (not heart attack) and it was nothing to do with asthma or my lungs. Wow! I was shell-shocked. I was doing aerobics just the previous week. So in a daze I drove home to tell my beautiful wife that we were not going out for her birthday but rather going to hospital. We drove over to Prince Charles Hospital where they were wondering what took me so long – I didn’t realise how serious it was. Straight into cardiac emergency and all the procedures started up; in fact I was in there for a week being monitored, measured and cared for by some great people. My cardiologist scheduled me with a heart surgeon for open- heart surgery to replace my failing aortic valve on 7 January, just nine weeks later. He said he had organised the best for me – a human donor valve rather than a plastic valve or a pig valve. I reflected on this: someone else had died so that I might live. That reminded me of what Jesus did! The surgery was performed and I was out to the world for about two days. I woke up with a morphine drip and tubes running everywhere, but still alive. I gave thanks to God for sparing me one more time, and thanks for the prayers and wonderful skills of the medical team. While I had been in the heart surgery ward waiting before my operation, I got a phone call alerting me to the fact that my son Justin had also just been urgently admitted to another hospital to have his appendix removed! We would both be in hospital at the

182 same time even though his appendectomy was performed before my heart surgery, on 6 January. So my beautiful wife was saddled with two broken males and trips to two ends of town to visit her sick boys. Fun. Unbeknown to me, my parents-in-law, Ted and Caroline, had boarded a jet in Denver, Colorado, at their expense to come to Brisbane and support my wife in her hour of need. My father-in- law had experienced heart surgery himself, having had a bypass several years earlier, and empathised with our predicament. So when I woke up out of the surgical coma, who should be standing beside my hospital bed but my wife and daughter and in-laws. What a pleasant surprise. I asked them when they had got in to Brisbane Airport and how long it took to fly from Denver to Los Angeles to Sydney then to Brisbane. They told me 23 hours. Now Ted and Caroline had been married on 7 January and their wedding anniversary was on the same day that I was operated on, but they lost that day on the International Date Line – leaving on 6 January and arriving on the 8th. The day they gave up was their 50th wedding anniversary – the big one, their golden wedding anniversary! Now I understand why the Second World War generation has been called the “greatest generation”; they consistently put sacrifice above self.

183 d Graham Foster is the originator of “MoneyMath”, the innovative system that was published in his best-selling business book The Power of Positive Profit, for which he was interviewed on Good Morning America. Graham first started out as a teacher then went into corporate life and reached his first CEO position at age 35. He was the marketing panellist on TV show The Inventors. Today he presents keynotes at company conferences, in-house workshops and public seminars.

184 Michael Groom, Professional Mountaineer, Brisbane QLD

A Helping Hand

7,600 metres on Mt Everest. 10.30 a.m. on 20 September 1991. It was one of those days. There was only a short distance between me and the avalanche and I was spellbound by its terrifying speed. A shock wave travelled in front of the wall of snow. I felt its power the instant before it struck me – the force wrenched my climbing harness so powerfully that I thought I would be torn in half, and the rope that I was tied to snapped like a piece of cotton. I had placed all my confidence and indeed my life in that rope. The impact pushed me backwards into space like a rag doll; I was forced through the air for another 30 metres before I fell back down into the belly of the avalanche. I tried to protect my mouth but I had no control over my actions and it was jammed so full of snow that from then on there was no chance of my taking a

185 breath. The noise from the avalanche was deafening; it sounded as if I had my ear stuck in a jet engine, and bowling-ball-sized blocks of ice bashed into every inch of my body. I had plenty of time to think about dying. I didn’t think I’d survive this, and my brain flashed: “Michael Groom, dead at 32”. For many, facing death is a frightening experience, but as I fell I did not feel fear. I resigned myself to meet my destiny, even though I found some small fascination in pondering whether there was life after death. Other parts of my mind, less concerned with my eulogy, were busy on survival. I told myself to stop fighting and go with the flow to avoid being torn limb from limb, and so I began to roll like a barrel. I knew I could hold my breath for about a minute, maybe an extra thirty seconds in an emergency. After that the brain would send a message to start breathing no matter what. If you’re under water the lungs would be flooded and you drift into unconsciousness within seconds. If you are in an avalanche your mouth is jammed so full of snow the reflex action to breath is gagged by the wad of snow and the more you gag the further down your throat its slips. The result however is still the same – unconsciousness within seconds. The reality was I was cart- wheeling down the upper slopes of Everest between 80 and 100 km per hour and there was only one place I was going – all the way to the bottom. There was no one waiting to pull my limp body out of the wreckage of this avalanche. I was dead for sure.

186 At no time did I get a glimpse of the outside world: it was either pitch-black or there were flashes of brilliant diamonds before my eyes. At any moment it would be dark forever as I absorbed the last millilitre of air that was trapped in my lungs. I hoped the end would come soon. Suddenly there was a momentary respite from the bone- crushing pressure and the thundering noise as the avalanche released me over a cliff. Flying through the air was a relief, even though I knew the landing would probably be fatal. Instead, it drove me relentlessly into the snow like a pylon, and metres of snow begin to bury me. Just when I thought my time had come and I felt as if I was going to burst with the weight on top of me, the snow started to move. I was off again. I was hurtled over another cliff and across the yawning jaws of a 15-metre wide bergschrund, with still no chance of catching a breath of air. Then, as suddenly as it began, it stopped. A heavy weight again crushed my body and it was deathly silent. A pale blue light was my only focus. Was I in heaven? Or had I checked into hell? I was only fooled for a few seconds as I looked up into the pale blue light. Quickly panic overwhelmed my momentary relief as that suffocating feeling returned. Moving my left arm I cracked the 30 centimetres of snow and ice that trapped me from the outside world, simultaneously removing the packed snow from my mouth with my finger. I had fallen 900 metres.

187 Dizzy and confused, I tried to stand up but fell over immediately. There was a trail somewhere in front of me with bamboo marker wands marking the crevasses as it meandered back down to C2, but no amount of focus or concentration could help me stay on the marked trail and no doubt I was wandering dangerously close to crevasses. My teammates, Andrew, Mark and Ian, rushed to meet me just outside of C2 when they realised the person staggering towards them needed help. They were amazed that I had come down in the avalanche as they had watched it from C2, completely unaware that there was someone in it. I was half carried to the large cook tent of the Spanish expedition where the Spanish doctor was waiting for me. By now I was hypothermic and shaking uncontrollably as there was no place within my one-piece climbing suit that snow and ice had not penetrated and soaked my under-clothes. My main concern was for my frozen fingers as I could not bear the thought of losing them to frostbite. There were many hands helping to strip off my soaked clothing and I was placed under two sleeping bags and given hot tea, but my eyes, badly grazed by the ice, could not focus on the cup in front of me so I had to be fed like a baby. Ian, Mark and Andrew were busy making arrangements to get me off the mountain and back to Base Camp (BC). When I could eventually see, I found the person holding my hand was Takolo from the Basque expedition. I had passed

188 him many times in between camps but there was never any acknowledgment of my greeting; now he seemed to be my best friend. Takolo stayed with me for hours, wiping the tears from my lacerated eyes, the blood from my face, lifting my head so I could drink and making sure I was warm. He spoke no English and when it became too cold he continued to sit patiently beside me when he should have been with his own teammates and in his sleeping bag. He was still there in the morning and he was quick to serve me a cup of tea, but after he had taken my empty cup back to the kitchen tent I never saw him again. In 1995 I was breaking trail through deep snow from BC to C1 on Shishapangma in Tibet. We knew there were other climbers on the mountain as they had a BC not far away from ours. Their trail from their BC merged with ours 100 metres in front of where I was standing and here stooped a climber carrying an extremely heavy pack. In the time it took me to climb the remaining 100 metres to the junction of the two trails, the climber did not move. I said hello but there was no response, and then I recognised it was Takolo. He didn’t recognise me until I showed him my name engraved on my ice axe. He then proceeded to give me an almighty bear hug and slapped me on the back so many times I nearly fell over. I was afraid he was going to kiss me next. That evening back at BC Takolo paid a visit and brought gifts of a Spanish calendar, music and biscuits. I asked our BC cook to bring us some tea which we enjoyed with the Spanish biscuits.

189 Not much could be communicated but it was good to see each other. Takolo said goodbye, picked up our two empty cups and dropped them off at our kitchen tent on his way back to his own BC. I never saw him again.

Michael Groom climbing Mt Everest d Michael Groom is a professional speaker and author. He was a guide on Rob Hall’s 1996 Everest team, and of the six who reached the summit, only he and Jon Krakauer, author of Into Thin Air, survived. In 2000 a documentary, based on Michael’s autobiography, Sheer Will, was screened nationally by Channel 7.

190 Chris Gray, Host of Your Money Your Call on the Sky News Business Channel

From Entrepreneur to Philanthropist

I remember an occasion in my mid- twenties in London when a friend of mine invited me to play rounders (English baseball) in the local park with some friends. One guy that stood out was a fairly cocky young entrepreneur named Graham who turned up in a Porsche and seemed to get everyone motivated into action. It turned out he ran a recruitment company and so spent most of his time motivating his sales staff. Over the next year Graham and I grew to be good friends with many a late night spent drinking into the early hours. Our encounters were never free from drama though: Graham was always bending the rules and getting us to misbehave or play up. It was great fun, but he was always pushing the boundaries. Every once in a while I noticed how careful Graham was with his money. Out shopping he’d go to retailer after retailer

191 on Tottenham Court Road to get another five or ten pounds discount and in the pub he’d always make sure that everyone got their round in at the right time. I wouldn’t call him tight, just careful. A year later I left the UK to come to God’s country (Sydney, Australia) for the warmth and sunshine. Graham and I lost contact, as many male friends aren’t that good at keeping in touch. Many years later I found out that he had sold that recruitment company for a small fortune – not bad for someone who had just turned 30 and had always been playing on the edge. A few years after that he turned up in Australia and our friendship took off again. It was then that he told me his story of giving back. Graham had always been a traveller, and despite having his own business he often backpacked overseas in Africa and India a few months of the year. After some time, he sent a letter to ten development and disaster relief charities, saying he had a million pounds to donate but wanted to see tangible results in three months and wanted to be actively involved himself. In 2001, earthquakes in El Salvador killed nearly 850 people and made tens of thousands homeless. Of the ten charities, Plan International was the one Graham decided to donate his money to, as he knew all of the funds would go towards building materials. Plan International trains people to construct the houses and then the families build the houses themselves. Rather than

192 simply giving money away, Plan works on the premise of “we’ll help you help yourself”. Plan made it clear that Graham would be reporting to a local project manager as a volunteer and that the project management was Plan’s responsibility. Just as in the UK, Graham couldn’t be told what to do, so it wasn’t long before he had moved the project manager aside and had taken over! Graham’s presence did create a few problems, however. A department had to be set up with four staff and the safety of Graham and his girlfriend had to be protected in a country notorious for kidnappings. Results from a topographical survey Plan had commissioned showed that the area earmarked for the development was vulnerable to future earthquakes. The government of El Salvador promised Plan another patch of land, but bureaucracy meant that weeks slipped away with no deal in sight. So Graham began to kick up a stink with the British Embassy and El Salvadoran government, bombarding the country’s finance minister with emails. Plan had to work in the area over the long term, so it had to be politically correct, but Graham being Graham, he trod on people’s toes, was abrupt and a general pain in the neck. He then gave the government an ultimatum: “Give me the land and put it in the names of the locals so they own the rights to the homes they build on it, or I’ll take my million pounds to someone that really wants it.” It worked.

193 The project built a whole community, including 900 new homes for nearly 5000 people, a school, a health centre and a football field. Graham eventually revealed who he was and the grateful villagers named their new community Pequeña Ingleterra or Little England. Graham continues to visit Little England. Despite his antics attempting to push me beyond my comfort zone, he’s a best friend and the trusted godfather to my children, God help them. d Chris Gray is also the property expert on Channel Nine’s My Home TV, and the CEO of Empire Property Portfolio.

194 Stephen Dale, Motivational Speaker, Brisbane QLD

When Strangers Become Savers

Life was great when I was a young man. Sure, I had developed a few bad habits, but I had my whole life to sort them out, so there was no hurry. I wanted to party and “live my life” I believed that I could do it all myself and didn’t need anyone or anything. I headed down the eastern coast of Australia in search of adventure and if I discovered who I was in the process, all the better. When I got to Melbourne, I met Dave. I had known him for just over a week when he and his mate Rob invited me to Phillip Island for a day of fishing. After a morning of fishing, a visit to the pub for lunch and a number of cold beers – just one of my bad habits to sort out some time later – we headed back to the beach. We stumbled across a narrow beach surrounded by steep cliffs and my insatiable need to show off made my next choice clear. Dave and I were to test our manhood by climbing a vertical,

195 wet, slippery cliff with Rob taking a few photos for proof. My poor decision here was to change not only my life, but the lives of Dave and Rob. According to the accounts and reports, I overtook Dave and at the 30-metre mark, the rock I balanced on broke free of the rock face. I skidded eight to ten metres and launched off the edge of the cliff onto the rocks below. By the time Dave and Rob arrived at my landing spot, my situation was very serious. My spine was dislocated from my hips and fractured in five locations, the rear and right side of my skull was shattered, my major internal organs were severely damaged and I was bleeding profusely from the multiple lacerations, my nose, mouth and right ear. After a brief moment of “What do we do!” Rob and Dave proceeded to give me CPR for 30 to 45 minutes through long and continual heart stoppages. Their attitude was that they would keep going until one of two things happened. Hopefully someone would see them in this isolated place and call the ambulance, or the incoming tide would require them to move my broken body to higher ground. They hoped for the former as lifting me would only aggravate my precarious position. We were eventually spotted and the ambulance was called. The helicopter arrived and landed in what was reportedly true Hollywood fashion. The incredible courage, determination and commitment of

196 these two young men is beyond comparison. My thanks to my two savers is beyond words. I can only imagine the horror I put these two men through. My injuries led to a long-term stay in four hospitals and a ten-year rehabilitation. Many times during those periods I felt like giving in, but the thought of what these two heroes put themselves through to give me life was all I needed to keep going. d Steve Dale’s autobiography Bouncing back when you hit rock bottom was released in June 2010. www.smilingtiger.com.au

197 Professor Henry Burger AO, Emeritus Director of Prince Henry’s Institute of Medical Research

Blown Away After a Blowout

The Kimberley region of far north Western Australia and the adjacent parts of the Northern Territory are areas of special significance for our family. Some years ago, my wife and I took a “Broome to Broome” cruise on the Coral Princess, sailing about half-way around the coast from Broome to Darwin. We were enormously impressed by what we saw and determined to explore the area by road at a future date. That opportunity came in 2008, when one of our sons made his specially adapted 4-wheel drive Land Rover Defender available to us for eleven days, with our ultimate task being to drive it from Broome, where we collected it, to Darwin, where he in turn would pick it up for his own family trip. We drove from Broome to Derby, around to Fitzroy Crossing, to visit Geikie Gorge and to the Leopold Downs Road, up to Tunnel Creek and Windjana Gorge. From there, we joined the Gibb River Road, off which we took a number of side trips to the beautiful Bell and Manning Gorges, Elizabeth Creek Station and El Questro and

198 Emma Gorge. Throughout that time, we mostly camped and were greatly impressed with the superb scenery. We enjoyed the driving experience which was uneventful. We travelled on from Emma Gorge to Kununurra, and then to Katherine and Darwin. Several hours out of Kununurra, with my wife driving, we had an abrupt right-rear tyre blowout – fortunately on the main bitumen highway, with a grassy and moderately wide verge beside the road, onto which she managed to adroitly steer the unbalanced vehicle. The tyre was clearly more worn that we had anticipated and had totally ruptured. We had not previously had to change a tyre, we are both in our 70s, the wheels were heavy and the jack not easy to use. To our great surprise and delight, another 4-wheel drive was not far behind us, and the occupants had witnessed our blowout and departure from the road. They immediately pulled up – four young men, Austrian tourists, who insisted on jacking the vehicle, taking off the damaged tyre and fitting the heavy spare. Full of good humour and good will, they categorically refused to accept any money for their onward journey. They explained that helping others, and being helped, were parts of the travel experience, and that they were privileged to have the opportunity to help us. Once they had watched us safely back onto the road, they climbed back into their vehicle and disappeared ahead of us. They were indeed unknown strangers, performing a simple act of kindness in changing a heavy tyre, which we would have found

199 quite challenging if we had to do it ourselves. Not only is the landscape of north west Australia quite magnificent, but the generous spirit of those enjoying it was heart warming and uplifting – we were so grateful. d Professor Henry Burger AO is an eminent scientist and clinician whose notable achievements include his election to the Fellowship of the Australian Academy of Science (FAA) in 1994, his selection by the Society of Endocrinology, UK, to receive the 1997 Dale Medal, his election to the Royal College of Physicians, London in 1998, the Distinguished Physician Award of the US Endocrine Society in 1999, and an Honorary Doctorate, University of Liege, Belgium, 1999.

200 Peter FitzSimons, Best-selling Author of Kokoda

The Backpacker Brotherhood

It was in January of 1982. On holiday from Sydney University, I had travelled to India and, on a budget of only 50 rupees a day, decided to blow a whole 10 rupees getting dinner from a Varanasi street kitchen. Mistake. Big mistake. Huge. An hour later, while on the overnight train to Cal- cutta, there was a rumble in my tummy. I began to feel a little queasy. Like I needed to go to the … GANGWAY! OUT OF MY WAY, I SAY! BIG MAN RUN- NING THROUGH … toilet! I shall spare you the grim details. But I spent the entire night, well, never mind. The following morning, completely spent, it was all I could do to lift my back-pack, but I somehow managed to get out onto a Calcutta platform with a roof above that was … curiously … spinning around and around. Or was that … me? It was me. Going down in a dead faint, I woke up to seemingly a hundred

201 kindly and concerned Indian faces looking down upon me. And then two big Israeli blokes, both backpackers, pushed their way through, took a shoulder each and pretty much dragged me to a taxi, before taking me to a hospital and then a hostel. They looked after me, even though we had never met before. I never forgot their kindness and am happy to say that, two years later, when I found an Israeli bloke without money being blocked at the border between Bulgaria and Turkey, I was able to, in some way, repay the debt, by bribing the guards to let him through. It only took ten American dollars! d Peter Fitzsimons is a well-known media identity as well as publishing identity. Peter also co-hosts the breakfast program on Sydney’s Radio 2UE, writes weekly columns for the Sydney Morning Herald and Sun Herald newspapers, and appears on Foxtel’s Back Page television show. He is also a correspondent for London’s Daily Telegraph.

202 Jess Williams, Bartender, Sydney NSW

Heartlessness then Humanity

I was driving along the motorway on my way to work when a car cut into my lane without indicating. I swerved, did a 360 degree spin, hit the guard rail, spun back to face the oncoming traffic and then managed to park neatly on the side of the road. It was a miracle that I didn’t collide with any of the oncoming cars. I’d escaped without a scratch. I promptly had what felt like a bit of a nervous breakdown. Sadly, not a single person who witnessed the event stopped. Not one. About ten minutes later I heard a tap on my window – I hadn’t even noticed a person had pulled up behind me. He looked in and, seeing me crying, he opened the door to talk to me. He explained that he worked for the RTA, but was on his way home from work and noticed I had my hazards on, so stopped to see if I needed help. I told him what had happened and he inspected the car to see if it was driveable. He asked where I was headed, and then phoned my workplace to explain what had happened. He then phoned some RTA friends of his who arrived within minutes.

203 They insisted on helping me get to work, as I was not in a state to drive. One of the men quickly jumped in and helped me to the passenger seat. I had an RTA escort with flashy lights, and when we arrived at work one of them walked me in. Unfortunately, I never got any of their names or any other details. Considering those drivers who had witnessed the accident did not stop to help me, I was amazed that this RTA man had not only stopped to see if I was OK, but went out of his way to do so much to help me and calm me down.

204 7. Acts of Kindness for No Particular Reason

Sheridan Voysey, Author, Sydney NSW

A Sweet-sounding Love Song

A quiet park in a noisy suburb; a stroll round the corner from the counters and cashiers. Joggers pass, fishing rods whiz, fathers chase and children giggle. An autumn breeze wafts by and carries a love song away with the leaves. It is Saturday afternoon at Birkenhead Point, a small park on a peninsula off Sydney’s Parramatta River. The park is busy with mothers, toddlers and shoppers catching their breath. Couples sit on benches sipping their takeaway lattés. Men with tackle boxes try their luck at a catch. Seagulls fight over fish and chip wrappers. Model boats race round red buoys in the water, their masters running the radio control units from the nearby sailing club.

205 My wife Merryn and I sit on the embankment wall looking out to the river, our legs dangling over the edge, our ears attuned to the couple. They are dark-skinned, maybe late 40s, probably of Middle-Eastern descent. He wears black shoes, black pants and a brown long-sleeved shirt; she wears a flowing dress, yellow and patterned, her dark hair pinned up. They sit on the wall a little way down from us; their bodies angled to each other, their eyes in conversation. She sits neatly with hands in lap; he leans to one side, his weight resting on one arm. And he sings to her. In his own tongue, without caution or shame, he offers his beloved a sweet-sounding love song. Mothers and shoppers look round for the voice, joggers look back as they rush by the sound, couples on benches listen and smile and the fishermen shuffle from side to side. The man doesn’t notice, and the woman isn’t embarrassed. Her head is titled, her lips lifted in a smile. The serenade brings obvious delight to her. The afternoon rolls on and the sun crouches low. Yachts sail in from the Harbour. Mothers take their children home. Merryn and I get up to leave, yet the couple remains. When the singing does occasionally pause a new lyric soon begins. A man in brown shirt offers his beloved a sweet love song. A kindness that brings more than one thankful smile. d

206 Sheridan Voysey is also a speaker and broadcaster on contemporary spirituality. He hosts the national talkback show Open House and is the author of Open House Volume 1, Open House Volume 2, Open House Volume 3 and the award-winning Unseen Footprints: Encountering the Divine Along the Journey of Life. www.sheridanvoysey.com

207 Peter Buckley, Keynote Speaker

The Glow from Poppies

I can honestly say I can’t recall any single, major act of kindness or generosity that would befit mention in this book, however I believe a collective that has helped enormously is definitely worthy. It was in 2003 that I left radio station B105FM in Brisbane, Australia, to start my own business. I’d been in radio for 24 years and at that station for twelve of them. I was the Assistant News Director but decided I needed to cut my teeth in the world of business. I knew the owner of a small events and promotions company, through their association with the radio station, and told her what I was doing after I’d resigned. She said that people I didn’t know would appear in my life and help in many different ways. At the time I didn’t realise how prophetic she would be. As a nation, we Aussies still struggle with the “tall poppy” syndrome. All too often bitter words are sprayed at people who

208 have worked hard and created success for themselves. On the other hand, successful business people are infected with a completely opposite trait. They like nothing more than to see other businesspeople being successful and, to that end, so many of them I have spoken to over the years have been more than happy to pass on advice, wisdom, experience and energy to help a fellow businessperson. Some have become, and will continue to be, life friends. For those people who have appeared on the radar, glowed briefly and then disappeared just as quickly, their input and enthusiasm have been greatly effective and appreciated. This type of kindness from strangers is immeasurable! d Peter Buckley spent 24 years in radio. These days, he delivers keynote presentations, and MCs or facilitates conferences, seminars and events. He hosted the Brisbane Broncos’ game-day Boardroom Functions at Suncorp Stadium. www.peterbuckley.com.au

209 Jules Faber, Cartoonist and President of the Australian Cartoonists’ Association

A Man of His Words

I was taking up my second year of teaching at Camp Creative – an initiative in Bellingen that attracts people each January from all over Australia to learn new creative pursuits for a week. My course was a broad overview of cartooning in which I discussed and demonstrated the many and varied methods of the field. On the first evening, we tutors were invited to drinks at the organisers’ country property. Not knowing anyone, I immediately fell into conversation with one of the organisers who informed me that the noted author Bryce Courtenay was teaching this year. Immediately thinking of a small favour I could ask, I thought I might find him and introduce myself. I was going to be married in May and as our celebrant, Michael, was an author himself, I thought it might be nice to see if I could bring Bryce a book and have him sign it as a gift. As it turned out, I didn’t have to do much but turn around. He was standing right behind me, telling a story to a few of the other tutors. I edged cautiously into the conversation and listened,

210 eventually (post-punch line) introducing myself and asking the celebrity author my favour. He smiled at me, and the group then started discussing marriages and weddings. Bryce told me he wouldn’t hear of me bringing a book by – rather, to bring him Michael’s address and he would see a book got to him, signed and so forth. We then discussed a little more on various topics as a group before I said goodbye and thank you and left. I didn’t see Bryce again until the morning of the final day of the week. He stopped by my room and asked if I would come and speak with his class for half an hour or so on “recognising character” – as I’m a caricaturist, he felt it was yet another angle from which to help his students draw inspiration in the creation of characters for their fiction. I was happy to do so and still have a great photo snapped by one of his students of me drawing Bryce in chalk on the blackboard (the opposite to my usual black-on- white). The week then ended and I went home. I hadn’t mentioned the book to Michael as I wanted him to be surprised (and a little baffled!) when it arrived. Plus, if the celebrity author didn’t come through on his promise, there was no harm done. However, any fears of that were unfounded – the next time I saw Michael he was beaming at me, having heard I’d met Bryce from a friend and putting two and two together. Bryce Courtenay, a stranger to me, was as good as his word – he’d sent a hardback of

211 his latest work inscribed on the inside to Michael. It was a simple favour I had asked, yet this celebrated author took it upon himself to make it into something just that little bit extra special. To me, it showed the measure of the man – a man who cares about people and who cares about the little things. And a man who understands the value of words. d

Jules Faber (right) with best-selling author Bryce Courtney.

Jules Faber is the Cartoonist in Residence at the Bunker Gallery in Coffs Harbour. He is also the editorial cartoonist for both The Daily Examiner in Grafton and the Coffs Coast Advocate in Coffs Harbour. www.julesfaber.com

212 Nola Smart, Pharmacy Assistant, Turramurra NSW

Mrs Shmegg

My story begins and ends where I work, a small community pharmacy in the northern suburbs of Sydney. I have worked there for over seven years, and in my time I have met some very special people, but one particular lady always stays in my mind. Her name was Mrs Shmegg. She was 83 years old and a war widow. I delivered her medications and beauty products twice a month. We soon became quite fond of one another. She would make me a cup of tea and offer a slice of cake every time I visited. She would tell me some lovely stories of her past; it was always a joy to go back and reminisce with her. She always told me, “You are the daughter I never had.” Before Christmas, she told me to come over to her home one night because she had something to give me. I thought it might be a card or maybe some chocolates for Christmas. I was shocked when I arrived and was handed a cheque for $1000. I almost fainted. I could not believe her generosity. I didn’t want to accept it, of course – I couldn’t. I felt so undeserving. She told me that without me, she would be a lonely, depressed woman with no

213 hope of life. I made her feel full, happy and blessed that she had a friend like me. She also told me to invest the money. One day it would bring me things that would and could change my life, give me opportunity. So with great resist, I accepted the cheque and told her I would buy her something nice. Anything she wanted … Turns out, all she wanted was someone to call family. The next time I visited her, she was very ill. She was bed- bound for weeks. I wrote her a letter to tell her I was thinking of her. When I was due to next deliver to her, I got a phone call from her doctor. She had died the night before. I was so sad, I cried for days. I found out though, next to her bed when she died, sat my letter. It meant the world to me.

214 Sara Groen, Weather Presenter, Channel 7 Sydney

A Child’s Cosy Gift of Kindness

When I started in television ten years ago, I was working on a children’s show called Saturday Disney. It was a dream job for me, learning the ropes in a creative and forgiving environment with a supportive team of enthusiastic people. I remember the comedy skits and costumes, cartoons and bloopers, travel and excitement and, just as vividly, the first time I visited The Children’s Hospital at Westmead. I was feeling nervous and unsure about how I was going to feel. I hadn’t had a lot of experience with sick children and was worried my emotions would get the better of me or I might say the wrong thing. My mind was put at ease when we arrived and were given a brief on what to expect and what best to talk about. We spent the next hour or so visiting children in a number of wards, some of them shared and others in isolation.

215 Buoyed by their resilience and openness, I was already certain I’d gained more from the experience than any of the children we’d visited, when we came upon a beautiful little blonde girl resting in bed in one of the final rooms. She greeted us with a huge smile and cheerful chatter, sharing her drawings and colourful pictures, and explaining her latest masterpiece – all the time holding a simple little knitted bear close to her chest. I’m not sure why the little girl was in hospital but her space in the isolated room looked well established with a number of pictures adorning the walls. Sadly, I can’t even remember her name but I will always remember her simple gesture of kindness as I said goodbye. Perhaps she had seen a tinge of sadness in my eyes or simply wanted me to experience the happiness she felt when clutching her cosy companion. Whatever the reason, she insisted I take the little bear with me and take good care of her friend as she had done. Since then I have had the chance to work on a number of different shows and meet many inspirational people: scientists, specialists and everyday people who have dedicated their lives to helping others, committed to their cause when the odds are sometimes stacked against them. This spirit is exemplified by The Teddy Bear’s Picnic, a huge charity day supporting The Children’s Hospital at Westmead, where many little acts of kindness really add up. I have played a small role in the day for almost a decade

216 now and met many children like the little blonde girl who will always hold a cosy place in my heart. d Sara Groen has enjoyed a bright media career so far which began a decade ago, hosting children’s popular TV show Saturday Disney. Sara also regularly fills in to present theSeven Late News, and has had reporting roles on Sydney Weekender and the science and technology series, Beyond Tomorrow.

217 Stephanie Streatfeild, Student, Condor ACT

My Genie with No Lamp

I studied drama at university and, understandably, I love a good dress-up party. So when a friend and fellow drama student and I heard about a local theatre having a costume sale, we immediately put the event in our calendar. The day arrived and, joining in the chaos that was the sale, we immediately started hunting for bargains. I then spotted a glorious pair of golden genie shoes – for the bargain price of only $3! As I added it to my already laden arms, one of the ladies helping out exclaimed how glad she was that someone was taking them, as they had such a great history and she wanted them to go to a good home. At the checkout I realised that I had miscalculated the total cost of all my goodies, and I had to put some things back. The shoes – despite being my favourite item, had to go. They were men’s shoes, after all, and I wasn’t even sure if they would fit my boyfriend. So back they went. The lady seemed sad that I was putting them back, especially after I had told her how much I loved them, but there was nothing to be done.

218 I went back to the checkout and finished paying. My friend and I were just about to leave when the lady came running back to the front saying she couldn’t bear to see the shoes miss out on a good home, so she decided to buy them for me! To make things better, they fitted my boyfriend – just! It was only $3, but I have remembered that lady’s unnecessary generosity. People like that are a rare find in life.

219 Your Story

We hope you enjoyed these inspirational and encouraging stories of kindness. We already have more stories than we can publish in this book and, so, are looking to bring out a second volume in the near future. If, in reading this book, you have been reminded of an act of kindness from a stranger that came your way or someone else’s at some point, then go to www.powerofgood.com.au and tell us about it. For more information, feel free to contact us: Phone: (02) 8824 3422 Fax: (02) 8824 3566 Email: [email protected] Mail: McCrindle Research A39, 24 Lexington Drive, Bella Vista NSW 2153 Australia

220 Thank Your Kindly Stranger

Have you ever been the recipient of kindness from a stranger or someone you are no longer in contact with, and always wanted to thank them? Well, this is your opportunity to share what you were unable to say, by sending us a hand decorated postcard with your message – simply go to our website: www.powerofgood.com.au for more information. Your postcard may then be posted on our site and published in a future edition of The Power of Good – and, who knows, your stranger may even see it!

221 Appendix

At the time of publication, websites devoted to spreading kindness included: Table 1.2

The Random www.actsofkindness.org Acts of Kindness Foundation The Good Deeds www.TheGoodDeedsOrganisation.com Organisation The Power of www.power-of-giving.com/random-acts- Giving of-kindness.html

Random Acts of http://acts-of-random-kindness.blogspot. Kindness com/ Random Ideas http://www.noogenesis.com/malama/ kindness/Stories/ideas01.html So what can I do? http://sowhatcanido.blogspot. com/2005/01/commit-random-acts-of- kindness-open.html

222 Help Others http://www.helpothers.org/

The True Tales of http://www.grandtimes.com/kind.html Random Acts of Kindness A Magazine http://www.intouchmag. of People and com/33kindnessstories2.html Possibilities Miss Foundation http://www.missfoundation.org/kindness/ stories.html

Angels Camp http://www.angelscamp.com/r-sugst.htm

Kind Acts http://www.kindacts.net/ideas_resources/ RAK_week/RAK_week.shtml

Chicken Soup for http://www.chickensoup.com/ the Soul

223 Table 1.3

The Random Acts of Kindness Timeline 1993 A book called Random Acts of Kindness was released by Conari Press. 2000 Movie Pay It Forward, based on the book of the same name (which was inspired by the Pay it Forward Foundation), was released.

2001 The French film Le Fabuleux destin d’Amélie Poulain or Amélie, which follows a young woman who engages in various random – and often anonymous – acts of kindness, was released. 2002 A group called Join Me was started in London by humorist Danny Wallace; the group’s purpose was to encourage members to perform random acts of kindness, particularly on “Good Fridays”.

2006 A “Free Hugs” campaign was made popular by a music video on YouTube.

Scott Mills, a British DJ on BBC Radio 1, used the term “random acts of kindness” as the name of a regular feature of his program.

224 An American talk radio host, David Stein of The Celebration of Life Through Sports, declared every Monday “Random Act of Kindness Day”. A “Random Acts of Kindness Week” was scheduled for 13-19 February. 2007 South African radio program Kfm Breakfast ran a “Random Act of Kindness Day”, collecting 50,000 kilograms of tinned food for Cape Town’s homeless shelters.

The box-office success Evan Almighty was released. The movie ended with Evan and his family on a weekend hiking trip when God reappeared to Evan, telling him that the way to change the world was by doing one act of random kindness (“ARK”) at a time.

2008 A “Pay It Forward Day” was scheduled for 4 April, a day where people perform random acts of kindness “to become better people”.

225 Table 1.4

Free-Hugs Timeline October 2006 A college student, Yu Tzu-wei, began a campaign in Taipei to “hug everyone in Taiwan”. A mass “free hugs” day was scheduled at Pitt Street Mall, Sydney, where the “free hugs” campaign began. Several “free hugs” campaigns were organised in a number of cities in Italy. Juan Mann was invited by Oprah Winfrey to appear on her show after her producer’s doctor saw the Free Hugs video on YouTube. Juan Mann made an appearance outside her studio that morning, offering free hugs to the crowd waiting to see the taping of that day’s episode. November Geneva Online organised the first “free hugs” 2006 event in Geneva, Switzerland. A group of eleven people led by a 24-year- old man named “Baigu” tried the same campaign in Shanghai, only to be detained for one hour for not having a permit to hold a gathering in a public place.

226 Two friends, Amber Gribben and Nicholas Markos, had a “free hugs” outing in Chicago, and persuaded the police to join in the hugging. December The friends from Chicago, along with 2006 additional friends, had another “free hugs” outing in Chicago. They were found by a Fox News Chicago crew, who featured a report about them. March 2007 As part of an initiative to combat discrimination against people infected with AIDS or HIV, the French Government called on its citizens to embrace strangers who hoist signs in the street offering free hugs. A group of four men celebrated “National Hug Day” on Grafton Street in Dublin. After two hours four teens took over and continued giving hugs for another hour.

227 April 2008 Members of Smile Church, led by Anthony D’Onofrio, gave out free hugs at Union Square in New York City. After hours of giving away free hugs, a group of seven males and females helped give out free hugs. There were complaints made by the farmers at the event which brought park rangers and park officials to move them away. The group continued to give out free hugs.31

228 Endnotes

1 McCrindle Research survey (2010) The Pursuit of Happiness, www.AustraliaSpeaks.com 2 McCrindle Research survey (2010) The Power of Good, www.AustraliaSpeaks.com 3 McCrindle Research survey (2010) Giving and receiving kindness, www.AustraliaSpeaks.com 4 McCrindle Research survey (2010) The Power of Good, www.AustraliaSpeaks.com 5 ibid. 6 Page, J. 2002, Is mateship a virtue?, http://eprints.qut.edu.au/ archive/00003567/01/3567_1.pdf 7 HarperCollins Australia 2009, About the Book, www.harpercollins.com.au/books/9780732290108/Black_ Saturday_Stories_of_love_loss_and_courage_from_the_ Victorian/index.aspx 8 Wilikinson, G. 2009, “Tonnes of goods donated to Black Saturday victims are still sitting in warehouse”, Herald Sun, www.heraldsun.com.au/news/tonnes-of-goods-donated-to- black-saturday-victims-are-still-sitting-in-warehouse/story- e6frf7jo-1225811538471 229 9 The Rotary Club of Whittlesea 2009, Black Saturday Fires: Then and Now, www.rotary9790.org.au/clubs/stoz/whittlesea/ftp/ BushFireReport.pdf 10 2005, “Australian aid sets the standard: Oxfam”, The Age, www.theage.com.au/news/Asia-tsunami/PM-pledges-1bn-in- aid/2005/01/06/1104832185285.html 11 2005, “Australian donations surpass $100 million”, The Age, www.theage.com.au/news/Asia-tsunami/Australian-donations- surpass-100m/2005/01/05/1104832167314.html 12 2005, Become a volunteer, www.aemvf.org.au/default.aspx?s= volunteer 13 McCrindle Research survey (2010) The Pursuit of Happiness, www.AustraliaSpeaks.com 14 Reader’s Digest (July 2010) “Australia’s most trusted”, p. 62 and McCrindle Research survey (2010), Giving and receiving kindness, www.AustraliaSpeaks.com 15 McCrindle Research survey (2010) Charitable giving, www.AustraliaSpeaks.com 16 McCrindle Research survey (2010) The Power of Good, www.AustraliaSpeaks.com 17 McCrindle Research survey (2010) Giving and receiving kindness, www.AustraliaSpeaks.com 18. McCrindle Research figures (2010), www.AustraliaSpeaks.com

230 19 2007, “The kindness of strangers”, The Age, www.theage.com.au/news/in-depth/kindness-of-strangers/ /2007/02/18/1171733606589.html?page=fullpage 20 ibid. 21 ibid. 22 Kind things to do, http://kindness.com.au/cms/index.php 23 McCrindle Research survey (2010) Giving and receiving, www.AustraliaSpeaks.com 24 ibid. 25 n.d. Random acts of kindness, www.auscharity.org/kind.htm 26 2007, “The kindness of strangers”, The Age. 27 ibid. 28 n.d. Sometimes, a hug is all that we need, www.freehugscampaign. org/ 29 2007, “The kindness of strangers”, The Age. 30 n.d. Other kindness organisations, http://kindness.com.au/cms/ content/view/18/40/ 31 2006, “Free hugs campaign arrives in Taiwan”, Independent Online. Corriere Della Sera 2006, www.corriere.it/Primo_Piano/ Cronache/2006/11_Novembre/06/abracci.shtml n.d. The gift of giving back,http://www2.oprah.com/tows/ slide/200610/20061030/slide_20061030_284_101.jhtml

231 2006, “A little tenderness in a world of roughness”, 20 Minutes, www.20min.ch/ro/news/geneve/story/22448721 2006, “Huggers end up in police custody”, China Daily, www.chinadaily.com.cn/china/2006-11/06/content_725199.htm 2007, “Free hugs for France”, News.com.au, www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,21366606-401,00.html

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