The Inn Crowd
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THE INN CROWD by Jeff Dyer Copyright Notice CAUTION: Professionals and amateurs are hereby warned that this Work is subject to a royalty. This Work is fully protected under the copyright laws of the United States of America and all countries with which the United States has reciprocal copyright relations, whether through bilateral or multilateral treaties or otherwise, and including, but not limited to, all countries covered by the Pan-American Copyright Convention, the Universal Copyright Convention and the Berne Convention. RIGHTS RESERVED: All rights to this Work are strictly reserved, including professional and amateur stage performance rights. Also reserved are: motion picture, recitation, lecturing, public reading, radio broadcasting, television, video or sound recording, all forms of mechanical or electronic reproduction, such as CD-ROM, CD-I, DVD, information and storage retrieval systems and photocopying, and the rights of translation into non-English languages. 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No part of this Work may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form, by any means now known or yet to be invented, including photocopying or scanning, without prior permission from Christian Publishers. Copyright © Christian Publishers Printed in the United States of America All Rights Reserved The Inn Crowd A Christmas comedy about a complex check-in by Jeff Dyer 2 CAST OF CHARACTERS In order of appearance MARTHA SUSANNA SILAS ASAPH LEPER PROPHET JOSEPH MARY JETHRO OBED BLIND PERSON SCRIBE SAMARITAN SADDUCEE PHARISEE WIDOW SHEPHERDS 1-7 WISE MAN 1-3 ANGELS (Nonspeaking roles) POOR TRAVELER This perusal script is for reading purposes only. No performance or photocopy rights are conveyed. 3 PRODUCTION NOTES Did you ever wonder who else may have been turned away from the Inn besides Mary and Joseph? There’s a vacancy at Martha and Silas’ inn — and an assortment of characters try to claim the one remaining room, ranging from a leper to a Pharisee to a scribe to a prophet with a penchant for a Magic 8 Ball. As unyielding innkeeper Martha finds something wrong with each one, the sign quickly gets changed to “No Vacancy.” Even Mary and Joseph get banished to the barn! But through the supernatural events of Jesus’ birth, Martha softens, and she finds room in her heart — and her inn — for some of “the least of these.” Suggestions for Doubling Parts The parts that should not be doubled are Martha, Susanna, Silas, Joseph, and Mary. The same person could play the Leper, Blind Person, the Samaritan, and Poor Traveler. Another actor could play Asaph, the Prophet, Jethro, and the Scribe. There may be fewer Shepherds by reassigning lines. Obed, the Scribe, the Samaritan, Sadducee, Pharisee, and Widow may double as Shepherds, Wise Men, or Angels. Props Rags, broom, large sign reading “No Vacancy” on one side and “Vacancy” on the other, decorative basket, piece of paper folded to look like a brochure, suitcase, clipboard and pen, shovel, robe, Magic 8 Ball, bottle of red wine or sparkling grape juice, vase of flowers, walking stick, feather pen, several scrolls, doll for baby Jesus, gifts resembling gold, frankincense, and myrrh for the Wise Men, and a large sign reading “Holy Day Inn.” Costumes Biblical costumes for all. Simple robes, sandals, and headpieces would work for Martha, Susanna, Silas, Joseph, Mary, Widow, and Shepherds. Richer robes would be best for Asaph, Prophet, Jethro, Scribe, Sadducee, Pharisee, and Wise Men. Tattered robes would work for Leper (with the addition of bandages), Blind Person, Obed, and Poor Traveler. The suggested doubling of roles listed above groups the parts according to richer- or poorer-looking robes. Try to add or This perusal script is for reading purposes only. No performance or photocopy rights are conveyed. 4 subtract something from the costume to change it up for the next appearance. Additionally, accessorize with staffs for the Shepherds, hats for the Wise Men, an apron for Susanna, and any other pieces you feel would accentuate the characters. Set A humble inn. A simple table and chairs and perhaps some clay pots should suffice. At Stage Right is a stable with straw and animals (may be painted on backdrop). This perusal script is for reading purposes only. No performance or photocopy rights are conveyed. 5 1 (SUSANNA, a servant girl, enters. She is cleaning and dusting. 2 MARTHA, wife of the innkeeper, enters. There is a large sign 3 reading “No Vacancy” posted. She flips it over to read 4 “Vacancy.” She cleans up the same places SUSANNA has 5 already cleaned, humming and whistling lightly.) 6 MARTHA: Be sure to sweep under the rugs too, Susanna. 7 SUSANNA: Yes, ma’am. 8 MARTHA: Hmmmm. I think the guest rooms could use a little 9 more attention. 10 SUSANNA: Yes, ma’am. Right away, ma’am. (Exits. After a few 11 seconds, SILAS the innkeeper enters. He is carrying a 12 decorative basket.) 13 SILAS: Honey, where did you want this basket? 14 MARTHA: Oh, I’ve been looking all over for that! Here, let me 15 have it. (SILAS hands it to her. She places it down, steps back, 16 and stares at it.) Hmmmm … 17 SILAS: Good? O-kaaaay. (Starts to slowly back away.) Think I’ll 18 be going now. There’s a big chariot race today. 19 Zebediah and I are going to watch it. So … I’ll just see 20 you later? (MARTHA motions with her finger for him to come 21 back. He sighs.) Yes, dear? 22 MARTHA: Silas, this inn is a mess! We have to keep it well 23 maintained. You never know who might show up! 24 (SUSANNA enters quietly.) 25 SILAS: I know, I know. It has been quiet around here the 26 past few weeks. If you weren’t so — well, picky — maybe 27 we’d have more guests. (SUSANNA slowly creeps away, 28 avoiding the argument.) 29 MARTHA: What? What did you say? 30 SILAS: Well, honey, you know you are a bit particular about 31 the company we keep. 32 MARTHA: Am I? Is it wrong to have high standards? Now 33 that Quirinius is Governor of Syria, and what with the 34 census, business will pick up. You’ll see! (Shows him a 35 brochure.) Look, I’ve made up a new pamphlet to 36 advertise! Still trying to come up with a name for our 37 inn, though. 38 SILAS: (Reading) “Come and stay at the Bethlehem This perusal script is for reading purposes only. No performance or photocopy rights are conveyed. 6 1 metropolitan area’s finest inn! So affordable, you’ll only 2 pay shekels! Comfort beyond belief: the softest straw 3 beds for miles around! Complimentary breakfast 4 features fresh baked unleavened bread! Includes 5 outdoor swimming pool!” Uhhhh, Martha, we don’t have 6 a pool. 7 MARTHA: What do you call that pond behind the stables? 8 SILAS: Oh. Right. Speaking of stables, I should go feed the 9 animals. (Exits to the stable at Stage Right. ASAPH enters, 10 carrying a suitcase.) 11 ASAPH: (To MARTHA) Excuse me. I’ve been traveling for 12 days, heading to the registration. I would like a room. 13 MARTHA: Oh! Well, let’s talk about this first. I have some 14 paperwork I need you to fill out. (Takes out a clipboard 15 and pencil.) This is just a routine check-in procedure. 16 Name? 17 ASAPH: My name is Asaph. 18 MARTHA: And Asaph, what do you do for a living? 19 ASAPH: My job? Well … what does that have to do with 20 staying at your inn? 21 MARTHA: It’s routine procedure. Occupation? 22 ASAPH: Well, um, I’m a tax collector. 23 MARTHA: You’re a what? 24 ASAPH: T-tax collector. I collect taxes. Money. From people. 25 Why does that matter? 26 MARTHA: Oh, my. No. No! (Flips the sign back to “No Vacancy.”) 27 I’m sorry. We have no rooms available for you. You will 28 have to leave. So sorry. 29 ASAPH: What? But you had a room open when I first came 30 in! 31 MARTHA: Things change quickly.