A fight between a Tory who went to Eton and an Etonian who was a Tory Ð News Features ¥ PAGE 6

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Rugby Special Interview A guide to the prize, the players and Neil Hamilton talks to us and the pubs of Twickenham in a Varsity Christine wants to snog the match special pull-out Union President on PAGE 20 The Cambridge student newspaper 23 November 2001 www.varsity.cam.ac.uk THIS DEMO COST MORE THAN £10,000. WAS IT REALLY WORTH IT? Photo: Drake Kieran

police vehicles, administration and involved because “there were spe- people in total,” but CUSU fig- The costs to the police were not ernment.” The budget had been Julian Blake local co-ordination. Sergeant cial police on standby in case there ures suggest around 400 attended. the only costs incurred. Stewart approved as part of CUSU’s high- Davidson, one of the officers were problems.” She insisted that Inspector Alan Jarmain, who is Morris, CUSU Services Officer, er education funding campaign, A senior officer of the Cambridge involved in organising the polic- co-ordination between CUSU and responsible for the policing of the estimated the total cost of public- passed last year. Rachael Tripp, Constabulary has launched a ing, could not confirm these fig- the police was good, but they had city centre, accused CUSU of ity for the event as £1,000, with CUSU Access Officer, told scathing attack on the organisation ures, but emphasised that the given inaccurate estimates of the making “a gross overestimate.” He about £215 spent on flyers and Varsity, “we shouldn’t look at the of CUSU’s regional rally, claiming march used valuable police expected turnout for the event. said, “I had to withdraw police £300 on posters. CUSU march in isolation, this was part that the event cost the police in the resources. She told Varsity, “the The police had been given figures from other areas to police the President Pav Akhtar defended of a national series of marches.” region of £10,000. The officer told cost is more in time that could be of between 800 and 1,000, but event. It could have paid for more the demonstration, claiming Akhtar added, “It made the Varsity that the police had to spent elsewhere. While the officers fewer than half attended. Tom police on the street.” However, “whether there were 400 or 1,000 impact we wanted it to in terms employ 50 police officers at a cost were at the demonstration, they Licence, Magdalene JCR Vice both Davidson and Jarmain were students it doesn’t make a differ- of publicity. We stood up and of around £140 per officer. could have been on duty else- President said, “I would estimate keen to stress that they agreed with ence because they raised the issue made a clear statement that we Further costs involved the use of where,” and extra costs were that there were no more than 150 the legitimate right to protest. and put the pressure on the gov- want grants not fees.”

News Features 5 ¥ Outlook 10 ¥ Fashion 12 ¥Science 13 ¥ Theatre 22 ¥ Film 24 ¥ Music 26 ¥ Visual Arts 28 ¥ Sport 32 23 November 2001 2 NEWS www.varsity.cam.ac.uk Pathetic Protest largely as a result of the efforts of a few on tuition fees. This emphasis on pres- Katy Long colleges, most notably King’s. entation over message served only to There was criticism of the timing of irritate the protesters present, and the A vocal but disappointingly small num- the march from many students. Amy sense of anti-climax felt by the com- ber of student protesters marched Pollard, a third year student from Kings mitted protesters remaining was evi- through Cambridge’s streets in the NUS and one of the most vocal demonstra- dent, summed up by one speaker’s des- Regional East Anglia Demonstration tors on the protest, admitted “I very perate comment while on the platform, against Tuition Fees. Groups from sever- nearly didn’t come here today, because I “everybody’s just leaving, aren’t they?” al Cambridge colleges were joined by have my lectures and I need to go to Owain James, NUS president, student protesters from sixteen other those as well,” and highlighted both the emphasised that the regional protests regional higher and further education problem of “political burnout” among marked only the beginning of this cam- institutions, among them APU, UEA, many Cambridge students following the paign, part of a massive build-up to the Luton, Essex and the University of East rent strikes, and the perception by many National Rally Against Tuition Fees in London. Yet despite the enthusiasm of more that with the Government’s London on 20th February next year, the students present, the turnout was announcement of the Higher Education but his optimistic view that these series described by many as “disappointing” funding review in October, the “battle of rallies would be “the biggest set of and even “embarrassing,” and the organ- over tuition fees has been won.” student protests seen by our genera- isation of the protest appeared to lack Those protesting were clearly aware tion” seemed misplaced in the atmos- either inspiration or direction. of the drawbacks of the Government phere of apathy that surrounded him As protesters gathered on Parker’s proposals such as the introduction of a on Parker’s Piece. While Paul Lewis, Piece at midday, there was frustration graduate tax, but while the march the outgoing KCSU co-ordinator, with NUS and CUSU organisation: through the streets of Cambridge, emphasised that “the King’s delegation although numbering only a few hun- although small, was highly visible, the is testament to the importance of this dred in total, the march through speeches that followed at the intended issue. We will not give up.” Tuesday’s Cambridge was late leaving. rally were often incoherent, and lacked demonstration underlined the prob- Demonstrators appeared resigned to the any substance, failing to add further lems of motivating student interest on low turnout. Ben James, Pembroke’s impetus to the campaign. While Pav a wider scale. The scheduling of the JPC President, admitted that participa- Akhtar, CUSU President, had earlier rally – at midday and in midweek – tion levels “could be better,” but empha- told Varsity that the presence of meant that many students were sised that those present – with numer- Narinder from Big Brother at the rally deterred from attending by their work- ous banners – were “very colourful.” “might seem random, but it isn’t. She load, but the rally also clearly failed to However, as Alexander Marianski does a lot of work with children from impress those students who had replied when asked by Varsity why he ethnic minorities,” her short speech protested through the streets. It did lit- felt more students had not attended the failed to even mention the issue of tle to work up anger over the issue of protest, “most Students in Queens’ said access. The carnival-style celebrations finance, but instead restated the need ‘Demonstration? What Demonstration?’” promised were non-existent, except for for wider access and the problems of Many colleges had very few representa- the playing of two pop songs, appar- student hardship of which, as students tives at the march, the fact Cambridge’s ently unconnected to the rest of the themselves, demonstrators were clearly presence was visible at the protest was proceedings, or to the NUS’s position already aware. A protestor at Tuesday’s march – some students have questioned whether CUSU should be relating the issue of tuition fees to the war. King in the Clink CHARITY CASE opportunity to demonstrate that he are a sexual necessity, but an intellectu- data can be obtained by paying £60 to Judith Whiteley cannot write as well?” King responded al drag.” Helen McKenna the University Finance department. in his next column, insisting that his King, it would seem, hasn’t found the David Palfreyman, of New College Jonathan King, the pop celebrity now views were a “fair assessment of the fair ladies such a necessity in recent years... The colleges of Oxford and Cambridge Oxford, also insisted that colleges’ serving a seven year sentence for sex sex. Surely you must all agree. Women Additional reporting Glenda Newton Universities may be forced to relinquish “charitable assets are deployed very offences against school boys, used to their charitable status, after a Cabinet clearly in support of the charitable be a columnist for Varsity. Office investigation revealed that objectives – teaching and research, and King, who graduated in 1967 having despite receiving millions of pounds in having to do so within an expensive-to- read English at Trinity, had a regular public support, they do not currently maintain listed building "national her- Varsity column called “King’s Parade.” have to provide the Charity itage" infrastructure.” He was sentenced yesterday on six Commission with updated accounts. The Prime Minister’s decision does charges of serious sexual assault and The Prime Minister is undecided not look set to work in colleges’ favour, indecent assault against five boys aged about whether to prohibit the two insti- however, after an article in the Guardian 14 and 15, and is currently residing in tutions from existing as charities due to this week claimed that King’s College Belmarsh Prison, Woolwich. He has fear of the wide-spread criticism such a spends £130,000 a year on entertaining, been added to the sex offenders’ regis- measure would inevitably entail. while spending only half this on super- ter and has been banned from working However, should he go ahead with the visions. with children. move the financial repercussions could Roger Salmon, bursar of King’s In the light of recent events, King’s be massive, since colleges would no College, told Varsity that the figures in columns make interesting reading. longer enjoy the tax exemptions of reg- the Guardian were unreliable, claiming “Every woman I have met has been dif- istered charities. that the amount quoted for the enter- ficult to communicate with,” wrote The investigation was carried out by tainment figure failed to take into King for the Varsity of May 14th 1966. the government’s official think tank, the account “the regular costs of feeding fel- “A man needs a woman for one thing Performance and Innovation Unit of the lows at high table, which is part of the only – everything else is a subsidiary to Cabinet Office, which is currently renumeration for their work here.” He it. One needs to adapt oneself com- assessing the future of charity law. Their also added that the amount spent on pletely to a different level in conversa- findings emphasise the government’s supervision teaching was far higher than tions – a woman’s interests are shallow, dissatisfaction with the current law. The the figure quoted in the Guardian: “The her mind works in a foreign way, her 1993 Charities Act states that all chari- published 1999/2000 accounts show a aims and ambitions are basically alien ties with an annual income in excess of total of over £600,000 on tutors, college to those of a man – except in one £10,000 are obliged to submit accounts lecturers and supervisors.” respect.” He goes on: “When a boy to the Charity Commission but up until Whether or not the Guardian’s figures goes out with a girl his whole attitude now Oxbridge colleges have been are to be believed, widespread concern must change – to a lower plane. He classed as exempt charities. The present has been sparked about the financial knows and she knows why he is both- loophole in the law gives colleges almost autonomy of colleges among students ering with her: all the rest is small complete autonomy over their finances, and MPs alike. In response to the talk.” since they are not accountable to any Cabinet Office investigation, Lord This nugget of literary and intellec- official external body. Browne, the chief executive of BP tual brilliance prompted a storm of Colleges argue that figures for endow- Amoco and an honorary fellow of St protest. “Dear Madam,” writes one R ment income and spending are in fact John’s College, has been described by I Kellaway, “We already know that Mr available to the public. An annual inter- the Guardian as “wanting a thorough Jonathan King cannot sing. Is it there- nal bulletin publishes college accounts overhaul of how the two universities fore fair on us for you to give him an The Sun, 22nd November for Cambridge University and at Oxford are run.”

23 November 2001 4 NEWS www.varsity.cam.ac.uk News in brief UNION-ELECT Dr Zadie of as he talks of making the central everyone can afford.” Playroom Rachael Marsh building a more widely used facility, as it Oliver Duff Though Zadie Smith has always is “something that CUSU haven’t got.” expressed an interest in teaching, the The Playroom, Cambridge’s intimate The hustings for the presidential elec- Lynas wishes to dispel perceptions and Award-winning author and former news has come as a shock to the literary theatre studio, is to come under the tions were held at the Union on stereotypes which surround the Union. Cambridge student Zadie Smith is to world following the stir she caused when day-to-day management of the Monday. The elections saw a closely He has spoken of his belief that having put her writing career on hold next year she first came onto the scene. Cambridge Arts Theatre from fought battle between the two candi- been elected he has a legitimate man- after just two novels, in order to realise Writing White Teeth in the third year January. dates, Ed Evans and Michael Lynas. But date, which he feels a duty to deliver. her ambition of becoming a professor of her English degree at Cambridge, fol- Corpus Christi has owned the tiny today Lynas is celebrating victory after a The Union this term has seen far fewer and pursuing a teaching career. lowing a reported £250,000 two-book venue for many years, and the col- lively hustings and fiercely contested cancellations than previously, and has The 26-year-old, who last year shot to advance, she became the darling of the lege’s drama society, The Fletcher campaign. Both candidates have made a conscious effort to attract a fame and glory picking up the media. The Guardian’s Simon Players, have put on regular produc- expressed admiration for the conduct of broader range of people by inviting such Whitbread First Novel award and The Hattenstone labelled her “the perfect tions there. Fears over financing and their opponent during the election. figures as the scientist Stephen Guardian First Book Award with White demographic. Young, attractive, black, fire safety put the theatre’s future in Lynas stood as part of a movement of Hawking, and others such as Will Self Teeth, will start an MA at Harvard female…and very talented.” Salman jeopardy last year, but the imminent people in the Union who wish to see the and Bobby Charlton, a trend which is University after the publication of The Rushdie called White Teeth an “astonish- professional input looks likely to society modernised and fulfilling its likely to continue. Autograph Man in September. ingly assured debut.” Smith, though ensure that student drama will con- potential. Currently around 40% of However, sources within the Union Though not discounting the possibili- surely with a touch of irony, once called tinue to thrive in St Edward’s Cambridge students are members of the have suggested that there is discontent ty of writing another novel in the future, her success “one of those freak events in Passage. Union, making it the biggest society in with the constitution which has been Miss Smith spoke of the difficulty and publishing,” and described herself as a The relaunch of the Playroom will the university, something Lynas is aware brought into relief by the election. The “boredom” in writing, and said, “I defi- “young fogey.” be at the end of January following a constitution allows for no written cam- nitely don’t think I have a duty to Smith has been very guarded about her dramatic refurbishment and techni- paign material other than a single mani- write.’’ second novel, revealing only that it is cal improvements. The Arts Theatre festo sheet, and no canvassing of Union She told the Daily Express: “I want to about Jewish cabbalism and “much fun- also intends to issue season members. While the idea of this is to study some more and become a profes- nier” than White Teeth – certainly one to brochures with details of student ensure wealthier members are not put at sor. I’m lucky, I know it’s a luxury not look out for in ten months time. productions alongside its own an advantage, it could allow for the rise events. Outside of term, the empha- of other forms of discrimination. sis will be on youth drama, new writ- Although there are no explicit links with ing and non-mainstream perform- the Cambridge University Conservation ances. Association (CUCA), the influence of Commenting on the new partner- such allegiance is pervasive in the upper ship, Roberta Hammond, Education eschelons of the Union. If it is not possi- and Community Manager at the ble to canvass for votes, such backing as Arts, said: “It’s fantastic…We can the CUCA membership within the help the students from a technical Union undoubtedly improves a candi- and professional point of view and date’s chances. It has the further effect of the students can give us back talent dissuading other candidates from stand- and interest in return.” ing. The process by which nominations are determined has been described by one source within the Union as involv- Calendar ing “clandestine meetings in the Maypole.” The individual went on to The 2002 Oxbridge Calendar will be say that “the system is intrinsically officially launched at the Oxbridge geared to hackery.” Such feeling is Ball following the Varsity Rugby unlikely to help dispel the image of the match on 11th December. Six love- Union as the home of future Tory politi- ly ladies from each university are fea- cians, exclusive to all others. tured in the calendar, produced by the Rock Models modelling agency. Starring from Cambridge are Clare Fidler – St. John’s (January), Clemency Burton-Hill – Magdalene (March), Anna Ayree – Magdalene (May), Lucie Bower – Newnham Mistress War hostage (July), Laura Sorenson – Jesus (September) and Roisin Monterio – Miss Widdecombe, MP for Magdelene (November). The calen- Oliver Duff Maidstone and The Weald, and for- David Benson interviews Yvonne Ridley dar pictures the girls at various merly at Lady Margaret Hall, Oxford, “Is it true that Osama’s hung like a some villagers about their plight and Cambridge landmarks such as the Conservative Party heavyweight Ann “categorically denies that any such donkey?” is the question my friend then get out as quickly as possible. Indigo Coffee House, a punt by Widdecombe was this week rumoured offer has been made, and wishes to encouraged me to ask when I told She had spent two days unnoticed Magdalene Bridge and outside the to be replacing Sir John Meurig remain an MP until her retirement,” him I was interviewing Yvonne and was travelling via a smuggling Senate House. Thomas when he completes his nine- according to her Press Office. Ridley. Ms Ridley, the Express jour- route back to Pakistan and safety. year term as Master of Peterhouse at Gloria Nicholl, Miss Widdecombe’s nalist whose capture and imprison- The donkey she was riding suddenly the end of the academic year, accord- Personal Assistant, believed that it was ment by the Taliban was never far bolted and Yvonne unwittingly Ice Ice Baby ing to the Evening Standard. “an attempt to tease Michael Portillo from the front pages last month, has screamed “Bloody Nora” at the top of more than anything else.” Arch-enemy had to put up with such ridicule ever her voice, thus alerting a nearby An Olympic sized ice-skating rink is Portillo, recently defeated in the Tory since she returned to Britain. Many Taliban soldier to her presence. They to be built in Cambridge within the leadership contest, was an undergrad- columnists wrote her off as a “silly took her to the Intelligence next eighteen months. The planned uate at Peterhouse in the early 1970s. blonde” who made a massively irre- Headquarters in Jalalabad where she facility, which will cost up to £3 mil- The decision concerning the sponsible error of judgment when was held for ten days. Intelligence lion, has been championed by a uni- appointment of Sir John’s successor she decided to disguise herself as an chiefs quizzed her as to why she was versity don. will be made by the Peterhouse Afghan woman and cross the border in the country, suspecting that she Professor Bill Harris, CU ice-hock- Fellowship, and should be announced into Taliban country. was a US spy. Once they were satis- ey coach said “It’s better than I’d by the beginning of February. Having spoken to Ms Ridley, I fied that she was merely a journalist hoped for. We’ll be able to use it for Sir John, the first British scientist in would suggest that she is a lot more she was released. figure-skating, ice-dancing and all seventy-five years to receive the brave and intelligent than some give Ms Ridley is an admirable woman, the ice sports that were huge in the Willard Gibbs Gold Medal of the her credit for. She does not regret and what she lacks in prudence she fens in the old days.” American Chemical Society, said that what she did, and intends to go back makes up for in northern grit and The largest portion of the funding he would continue to pursue his to Afghanistan as early as January. determination. She was on a hunger will come from a £1.4 million research in Cambridge and at The She justifies her decision to enter strike the whole time during her bequest by alumnus David Gattiker, Royal Institution in London. Afghanistan by arguing that it was imprisonment, in protest at her cap- who played ice-hockey for the uni- He this week stated, “As Master I am good “investigative journalism.” She tors’ refusal to let her use the phone. versity in 1930. the last person in College to know the wanted a piece for the Sunday This was one of the few complaints The rink is University-backed but names of any of the candidates to suc- Express, and at that time journalists she had about her treatment by the will be a centre for the community as ceed me. I do not believe that Miss were running out of things to say Taliban, and she has been praised for a whole. Prof Harris said “Ice sports Widdecombe would be very high on about the war (the bombing had not portraying the regime as decent and are healthy and a good way to get the list that has been drawn up but yet started). No one was covering the civilized (not something the British exercise. Ice-hockey is a game for all rumours have reached me that many humanitarian crisis in Afghanistan media often do). Ms Ridley was in ages.” of the younger Fellows are keen to because no one could get into the Cambridge to give a speech at the Sophie Morphet and Judith Whiteley propose the name of Jennifer Lopez.” country. She planned to interview Union. We wait with bated breath… 23 November 2001 www.varsity.cam.ac.uk NEWS FEATURES 5 Ethical journalism in focus lous horror, we watched that second of that moment which defines human photographs has set up a chronic In response to Varsity’s request for a Esther Bintliff tower fall on September 11, we unwit- existence; death. Sensitivity to our own voyeuristic relation to the world which statement regarding the photo, tingly became the final players needed mortality explains much of our socially levels the meaning of all events”. In the Guardian Picture Editor Roger Tooth If you had opened the Guardian news- by Osama Bin Laden to complete his bemusing and disturbing behaviour; we past few years, ubiquitous fly-on-the- explained, “We used the picture of the paper to page three last Wednesday, you war game. The attacks were carefully slow down to peer and gasp at car acci- wall documentaries and Big Brother dead Taliban soldier because it was an would have been confronted with an orchestrated in order to give the media dents because we are at once fascinated episodes have bombarded us with “real extraordinary image, shot from an inter- image, which, 40 years ago, many edi- those few frantic minutes after life”, yet as we read New Yorker esting angle under brilliant light: the tors might have considered “not fit fare the first crash to arrive just in Evan Fairbanks’ comment on figure looked like a fallen Greek statue, for the breakfast table”. The first thing time to catch the second round re-watching his self-made video like a giant. These were some of the we notice about the imposing photo- of destruction. Bin Laden did of the terrorist attacks, “I ‘photographic’ arguments for using the graph is the beauty of the backdrop; the not actually write “Are you lis- always think that I’m going to picture. Journalistically it showed the aesthetic contrasting of colours in this tening carefully? Then I’ll walk out of the room, that I’m truth of war: there are many deaths, but picture; baby blue, red, black, olive, begin” in those blue New York going to get tired of seeing it. this picture gave the dead fighter a cer- sand, all startlingly illuminated against skies, but he might as well have But I don’t”, we cannot help tain dignity.” A well-reasoned justifica- the dirty white newspaper and the done. but ask, how long will it be tion, although whether dignity is the black-brown type of the article below. The question of ethics versus before we have feature length first quality you would attribute to the Here is a news ‘photo’ so cinematic, it coverage in photo and film films of “real death”, and then dead soldier is another question alto- looks as though we are being offered a journalism is not a new global how will we distinguish them gether. still from some new Hollywood block- headache, but one that asserts from entertainment? It was June 1963, a national American buster. Which is arguably not so far itself more frequently and I Varsity was unable to reprint newspaper rejected Malcolm Browne’s from the truth. would argue, at more contro- the Guardian’s half-page photo picture of a Buddhist monk, burning As theatre owners, film producers and versial levels, with each natural mentioned at the start of this himself to death in Saigon, with the airlines are discovering, there has been a disaster, genocide and tabloid article. I will describe it. The explanation that it was “not fit fare for shift in consumer tastes and demands revelation that occurs. At what shot is split horizontally in half; the breakfast table”. Today nothing is since September 11. Movies such as point does it become disrespect- the top shows a beautiful blue too much for the camera’s eye. Despite Collateral Damage, due for release in ful to show the world the corpse sky brushed by cotton-wool Tooth’s summary of Guardian policy: September, are now feared too close to of an unknowing individual. In clouds, the lower half simply “We wouldn’t shy away from depicting the bone in their depiction of blood- 1936, a photo of a Loyalist sol- shows sandy flat ground in dead bodies, but we wouldn’t show any- shed and politics, and were hurriedly dier in the Spanish Civil War, close up, in between we catch thing graphically gruesome”, the entire- pushed to the back of the shelf, replaced taken at the exact moment of glimpses of austere cliffs and ly subjective matter of how we define by escapist family fantasies like Harry his death, ensured Robert Capa hills. But all this merely frames “gruesome” suggests that less than a Potter. Apparently the public cannot international fame The picture the real picture; the sprawled hundred years after the dawn of photo- cope with realistic violence on film, became so well known that it corpse of a man, face up, fea- graphic journalism, censorship and dis- when the channel can be switched to was used in history textbooks as a sym- and repulsed by our own inescapable tures haloed by the unrelenting Afghan cretion in the name of ethics has hit the CNN in order to find more of the same. bol of war; in 1938 Picture Post called fates. And as readership figures prove, sun, arms splayed to his sides, one knee plastic roof of human curiosity, and if Our complex relationship with the Capa “The Greatest War Photographer explicit pictures of suffering sell news- slightly bent, elevated a few centimetres we cannot experience something for journalistic camera has been undeniably in the World”. What had elevated him papers. But at what cost? The American above the ground as if he might sit up ourselves, we can come bloody close to confused by the chilling fact we have all to this status? The unique position held cultural commentator, Susan Sontag, and walk again any minute. If it were it. had to accept; that while, with incredu- by his photo was its opportune framing has disconcertingly argued, “Taking not for the blood. 23 November 2001 6 NEWS FEATURES www.varsity.cam.ac.uk TERROR An ever closer Union TACTICS Tim Stanley takes his own perverted and somewhat biased look at the Union elections We had a bird’s eye view when a friend improvement on the catchphrase of some It is something of a tradition that gov- and I snuck in to the gallery of the of his canvassing supporters. “Vote for ernments use crises to pass laws which Union for its Presidential hustings Michael or I’ll sit on you.” would never be accepted normally, debate, with a friendly bottle of Mouton When he finished there was a perfect, under the disguise that they are “tem- Cadet and a Barbara Cartland to read stunned silence. Someone was rude porary measures”? The Official Secrets when Michael Lynas wasn’t speaking. enough to clap and then, when Michael Act of 1911 went through parliament We needn’t have been sheepish about had made it clear he quite liked this by in under an hour in a time of interna- taking up seats in the Chamber, as no thanking his deputy for doing so, we all tional uncertainty. The 1974 one else had any intention of turning joined in. Evans spoke next. He said some Prevention of Terrorism (Temporary up. Apart from the candidates and their very cruel things. He said that only a Measures) Act remains in force, having friends, the chamber was conspicuously small group of people run everything. He replaced the Civil Authorities (Special empty. At one point Mr Lynas referred said that they were all from Trinity. He Powers) Act of 1922. Even income tax to the masses sitting behind him, and as said that they were all friends with each was introduced as a temporary measure I scanned their embarrassed looking other. But he was like Cnut fighting during the Napoleonic Wars. faces I realised that, like me, they were against the tide that is Tom Kibasi, who This time round, it’s the “Anti-terror- in fact all members of the debating sat opposite him and maliciously looked ism, Crime and Security” bill, which squad here for the eight o’clock session, down his nose at him for the whole looks set to be rushed through parlia- waiting inside out of the rain. If the can- speech. The Lynas bench heckled ment within the next fortnight, cyni- didates could not count on those poor “Shame!” and stamped their feet. When cally taking advantage of September 11 lambs for their votes then they certainly he’d finished, he slunk back and grimaced to curb our civil liberties. It will become could rely on the backing of their at the whole foregone conclusion of it all. illegal to publish information on the respected families who slouched and Then the election of the other officers location of trains transporting nuclear grunted their way through the speeches started and my friend and I did the decent material, making it virtually impossible doing their best impersonations of Tory thing. We left. to conduct peaceful protest on such a backbench MPs. They viciously stared I didn’t bother to go to the count to see controversial issue, and denying people at each other across the hall. The heady who’d won, but went straight to the Lynas any right to know whether insecure scent of betrayal was in the air. Through celebration party to crash it. As I watched nuclear waste has been left near them. every man’s minds were running the the two groups of supporters downing It will allow military police powers same thoughts: “How can you back vodka shots like brain cells were going out beyond military sites. It will enable him? After all we did at school togeth- of fashion, with the vote fodder looking at police to force people to remove ‘dis- er?”; “How can you be backing him? His the hacks and feeling slightly dirty, the guises’, allowing no provision for the house in school was an absolute dump.”; just the regent. The true Emperor had rug there is a one premeditated error: a hacks looking at the fodder and feeling society and religion of groups such as “What are you doing here? You didn’t come of age and was ready to take his small chocolate stain in the shape of New like getting dirty, I contemplated an amus- Muslim women. It will increase the even go to Eton!” throne. Lynas checked his hair in the pol- South Wales on the chinos. As he speaks ing email that I’d received from a friend in rights of police to intercept communi- We were facing a thrilling ideological ished oak table and smiled to himself. time slows. Both the Bordeaux and the Oxford. I told him about the election cations. clash. This was a straight fight between a He rises to speak. My friend wakes me speech take longer to swallow. His fingers process and in disbelief he’d written, But most worrying of all are the pow- Tory who went to Eton, Michael Lynas, up. The shirt is Thomas Pink with a large run through his flaxen hair, the eyes “Don’t be ridiculous. Where are all the ers granted to the Home Secretary, and an Etonian who is a Tory, Edward collar and French style cuffs, undone by turned down to speak and raised to listen busty girls seducing the Tories at parties to which will give him the power to indef- Evans. The prime difference in policy: two buttons and taken in to a tight fit. The with puppy-like attentiveness, hypnotising get them to vote for them?” “How amus- initely detain foreign nationals without Lynas is slightly blonder than Evans. trousers are Burberry on Bond Street. The the Chamber with his cheek bones. His ing!” I wrote back. Women seducing the trial or right of appeal, merely on the Jeremy Brier entered the chamber. He jacket a casual Lacoste fleece unzipped half eyes seem to plead, “Please vote for me. I’ll voters? We don’t need women in the basis that they are suspected of having shifted uneasily, but then he was always way. The hair is by Nigel. Like a Persian be awfully hurt if you don’t.” Which is an Union: we’ve got Michael Lynas for that! “links with a person who is a member of or belongs to an international terror- ist group.” Bearing in mind that the definition of a terrorist group is so loose that it would include even Greenpeace, a huge number of Cambridge interna- tional students would be potential Workers of the world unite detainees. Concerns about the bill are not Alex Lee tells us why he thinks Cambridge is more than just a factory churning out workers abstract and impractical, nor are they irrelevant to Cambridge. We have no If you are a Fresher, your future may be Slowly your body will deteriorate and of itself in its eagerness to get out. All is some whim, or chance, or fate will take reason to trust Mr. Blunkett’s assur- planned already. You may never have to you will die. You will be buried and time reduced to percentages and marks, you far from your familiar path and into ances that only a “handful” of suspects engage your brain again. From here on will obliterate all that remained of your papers and options and we are happy to some gallery. If, should the circum- will be arrested. In World War II thou- in, the passage to the city may well be mind. There is, of course, nothing confine the world and ourselves to the stances conspire, you happen upon a sands of Germans, many of them Jews mapped out. A reasonable amount of wrong with this. For the majority, it is narrowness of our courses. This, indeed, painting, or sculpture, or book, and fleeing the Nazis, were locked up in study, enough to get a decent degree at probably an accurate description of the is exactly what our future employers emotion, long forgotten in your hours Britain. In their eagerness to punish ter- least; a few “extra-curricular activities”, rest of their lives and few could wish for want to see in us. Variety just makes of work, rise up and fill your heart, per- rorists in Northern Ireland in the ‘70s, just to keep the CV nice and rounded, more. A dull, prosperous life is the business difficult. Our souls, our spirit haps you will think that once a man police arrested hundreds of republicans and a fair bit of socialising, just like any- happy life and from the earliest days of and curiosity have been washed out by a made this and still his soul you may see. suspected of resistance. Then over 100 one else. The only choice you will have our school careers we are prepared for tide of ink on application forms. When And maybe, just maybe, a thought will had to be released within days because to make could be between Management our jobs. This is what is expected of us, you are old and grey and full of gout, cross your mind that, for all your wealth there was no evidence against them. Consulting and Strategy Consulting, or, this is what we expect of ourselves and maybe you will take the time to walk and power and respectability, you could Under the new act, they might not be at a push, between McKinsey and this is what we desire. out of your office in the City. Maybe have made this. released at all. During the Gulf War PricewaterhouseCoopers. Cambridge, We may live in a global village, where almost 100 Iraqis were detained with- after all, is just a training ground for the commerce binds the world together and out being put on trial or even charged. real world. You will graduate and, per- multi-national business covers every Some of them were students, arrested haps after a Masters (just to keep ahead area of our lives, but there is still room merely because they were funded by the of the jobs market), you will set out on for adventure, for invention and cre- Iraqi government. Again, under the your career. From nine to five each day ation amidst the drudgery and grime. proposed laws it is uncertain whether you will work in your office alongside Despite the knowledge that we possess they would have been released. The other graduates, some of whom you about every square inch of the earth, precedent is disturbing, and not just for may even know. You will become just despite the arrogant assumption that those the home secretary calls “airy- another grey silhouette against a grey anything unconnected with wealth-cre- fairy civil libertarians.” background. After a few years you will ation is worthless, there is still scope for The problem is particularly acute in rise in the company hierarchy and push the daring, the original and even the aes- Cambridge because of the huge num- your earnings up and up. No doubt you thetic. Yet in this whirlwind of prepara- bers of foreign students and fellows, will derive great pleasure from dis- tion for the rest of our lives, there is no whose basic human rights are being cussing the exact scale of your salary at time to look to what could be done. So threatened by this bill. Any law which dinner parties with your friends. For the important is the pursuit of a Cambridge will theoretically allow hundreds of next three decades or so life will contin- degree that the Cambridge education is University members to be imprisoned ue at this pace, occasionally shifting ignored. So wrapped up are we in the merely for expressing their opinions, location and nature, but always pointing years beyond Cambridge that we have and which could deny them the to right in the same direction. Gradually your lost sight of the spirit of Cambridge to a lawyer or a fair trial, should be of bank balance will increase to such a level itself and the sense of excitement and immediate concern to us all. that you can retire early and live in com- elation at open-minded discovery and Dan O’Huiginn fort, resting on your laurels as your fresh approaches have long since been grandchildren play about your feet. spurned. Cambridge has become cynical Photo: Amy Lawrence 23 November 2001 www.varsity.cam.ac.uk NEWS FEATURES 7 Quotas correct Cam disparities So why does this disparity exist? One Cambridge for my Ph D, mainly Now, it seems likely to me that female The Varsity editorial questions Mr Cathy Nicholson possibility is that Cambridge is simply because my personal life is back home academics looking for work would be Deer’s statement about hiring needing to not attracting the best variety of poten- and because the British and American likely to have similar concerns. reflect “the needs of the institution, The writers of the Varsity editorial enti- tial female applicants out there, mean- Ph.D systems are quite different, but Cambridge is not the only good univer- rather than [being] simply a search for tled “Quality, not quotas” make a pretty ing either that the female applicants also because of the depressing lack of sity out there. Women have many excellence.” I would also challenge this, vast assumption when they claim that “If they do get are not necessarily the most female professors and supervisors I’ve options available to them. It’s hardly sur- but not because I think he’s got his pri- Cambridge gets weighed down by too desirable or that their pool of female encountered here. It’s not that I don’t prising if many of them, especially the orities wrong; instead, I would ask why many quotas then the University’s repu- applicants is disproportionately small. best of them, who would have the most “excellence” and “the needs of the insti- tation will suffer.” First of all, what is This seems to me entirely possible, and attractive alternatives, should simply tution,” should necessarily be seperate. meant by “too many quotas”? I believe at least worthy of consideration. I choose to go elsewhere. The thing is, having a faculty with a that the current debate revolves around speak from personal experience This frames the quota issue in a strong and equal female presence is part one specific type of quota, one intended here, and I offer my own case different light; it’s not so much of being an excellent university. So is to encourage an increased number of as in some small way representa- a matter of lowering the bar for having a faculty that reflects ethnic and female faculty members. The wording of tive. I am currently studying for unqualified applicants, it’s an racial diversity. Not because it’s political- the editorial suggests that to implement an M Phil in English as part of expression of commitment and ly correct, nor because it’s nice, but such a quota would be to open the flood- a two-year fellowship at good faith to the many highly because diverse communities contribute gates to any number of quota policies Emmanuel College. I did my qualified women out there. If the to a more vital and stimulating academ- allowing God-knows-who-and-what undergraduate work at a high- hiring system is in fact biased ic exchange. What this means is that, into the University. That sort of “barbar- calibre American college, where, against women, then a quota given the current make-up of the ians at the gates” mentality is hardly a as at many American institutions, serves as a necessary corrective Cambridge faculty, a female or black or useful approach to the consideration of a affirmative action has been used measure. If it’s not, if the disparity Asian candidate with slightly fewer cre- particular policy. to great effect in the hiring in gender is due rather to the lack dentials may contribute more to But more importantly, what are the process. As a result of my non- of qualified female applicants, University excellence than a slightly grounds for assuming that a quota neces- Cambridge undergrad experience, I then a quota, while it might fea- more qualified male. That’s not positive sarily equals reduced standards? That is bring a quasi-outsider’s perspec- sibly let in a few applicants who discrimination, that’s a realistic and only true if one assumes that the current tive to Cambridge life, which I are not absolutely the number holistic understanding ofwhat excellence hiring process is based entirely on assess- hope allows me to take a slightly one candidate for the job is. The longer the Cambridge communi- ment of qualifications, and is not at all broader perspective on some issues. (although, remember, a quota ty refuses to acknowledge the changing impeded or influenced by any kind of For instance, I know that while doesn’t mean no standards, as these demographics of academia and of life prejudice. That seems like a pretty opti- Cambridge is excellent as a place to believe that I could get a truly excellent women will still be deeply intelligent itself, the more surely it wills itself into mistic view of things, given that 94% of study and a place to teach, it is hardly and globally respected doctoral degree researchers and teachers who have com- obsolescence. Quotas are by no means a the current Cambridge professors and without peer among the universities of from Cambridge, it’s rather that, given pleted years of study in their chosen perfect answer to the persistent gender 85% of the lecturing staff are male. To the world. There are numerous alterna- the number of other excellent and glob- fields), it will also send a signal to all and racial inequities of academic life, but refuse even to consider the possibility that tives available to students and to profes- ally respected Ph D programmes avail- female academics that Cambridge is a they do work, however clumsily. Until the current hiring system is in any way sors, all equally excellent. I am current- able to me, why should I choose one at university committed to the support and someone comes up with a more effective biased towards male applicants seems ly applying to Ph D programmes in the a University that seems to have little encouragement of women in academia. way of enacting diversity, we’d be wise to rather careless, given what is at stake. States. I never considered staying at regard for female academics? And that can only be a good thing. give this way a try.

Lord Byron, Trinity. Salman Rushdie, King’s. Thomas Gray, Peterhouse. Clive James, Sidney Sussex. Christopher Isherwood, Corpus Christi. Vladimir Nabokov, Trinity. MargaretMay Drabble, Anthologies Newnham. John Dryden, Trinity. Rupert Brooke, King’s. Alfred Tennyson, Trinity. Samuel Taylor Coleridge, Jesus. William Wordsworth, St. John’s. Christopher Marlowe,2002 Corpus Christi. Andrew Marvell, Trinity. Edward Bulwer-Lytton, Trinity Hall. E.M.Forster, King’s. PeterMichaelmas Ackroyd, Clare. Ted Launch Hughes, Pembroke. Sylvia Plath,Wednesday Newnham. Thomas 28th Wyatt, November St John’s. Stephen Fry, Queens’. Thomas Randolph, Trinity. J.B.Priestley, Trinity Hall. A.S Byatt,7 Newnham.– 9pm Christopher Smart, Pembroke.2nd Laurence Floor, Borders, Sterne, Jesus. Market C.P. Square Snow, Christ’s. Angela Tilby, Girton. Siegfried Sassoon, Clare. Zadie Wine • Jazz • Readings • Submissions information Smith, King’s. Michael Frayn, Emmanuel. Nick Hornby, Jesus. Germaine Greer, Newnham. Thomas Campion, 23 November 2001 8 EDITORIAL www.varsity.cam.ac.uk

The students aren’t revolting The demonstration this week was meant to be the highlight of the term for CUSU’s political activities. It should have provided a welcome respite from the negative publicity surrounding the Creation Events and Union building fiascos. The result, though, was another failure. It is unfair to put the blame solely on CUSU; it was an NUS regional rally and they should also take some of the stick. The most generous estimates suggest that around 200 Cambridge students turned up at the demonstration. This demonstration by 1.3% of the University came at a cost, according to a senior Police officer at the rally, of around £10,000. But whilst the money is obviously a big issue, a more important one is perhaps the loss of polit- ical credibility as a result of the low turnout. A turnout this small sends only one message to Tony Blair: students don’t care what happens. Varsity does not believe this is true. Students do care about higher education funding. However as we said in last week’s editorial they are not genuinely angry enough to demonstrate at the moment. There are other ways to get a point across, such as a petition or a representation to the government. CUSU are using these avenues, but the effect is diminished when it is publicly seen that only 200 students can be bothered to protest. Whilst Pav insists that the demonstration was “a success and does send a strong message to the government,” Varsity doubts whether the demonstration and indeed the principle of access to Make a motion will change the Report on Higher Education Funding due out in January Cambridge and participation in Higher I refer to last week's letter concerning the by one iota. Education. policy of the CUSU Women’s Union to It is to dichotomise ‘access’ and the high affiliate to the National Abortion standards of intellect demanded by this Campaign, a national pro-choice group. The Union’s term card university. “Access to Cambridge” should Perhaps the writers of the letter are not Jeremy Brier, President of the Union, has delivered a successful term at Where’s the war? mean access on merit, ability and poten- aware, however, that the Women’s Union the Union. A significant increase in Freshers joining, fewer cancellations Although I understand your position on tial, not access based on parental income, is a wholly autonomous body within of speakers and high turnouts are all indications that Brier should be con- not covering the war in Afghanistan, the educational background, ethnicity, gen- CUSU which makes its own policy. gratulated. Most impressively he managed most of the time to keep the fact that you completely ignored the der or any other criteria. It is precisely Any woman who is a member of CamSAW student demonstration of 250 through a desire to maintain academic CUSU is welcome to submit a motion to back-stabbing Union hacks in order. He gave all the varied hacks a lesson earlier this month shows a misunder- excellence that the university has realised Women’s Council. It confuses me that when the Director of Debating had to resign after a controversy over the standing of your remit. Large student it must attract the best students from all these students, none of whom has ever World Debating Competition. However, his hopes of fundamentally protests are news, and your utter failure sixth forms in all areas. contacted me as Chair of Women’s changing the Union have not been realised. The recent election was to report on the peace movement borders To be content with a student profile that Council about this issue, feel unhappy between two Old Etonian Tories and the atmosphere in the Chamber is on censorship. Whilst I understand that was anything other than representative of with current policy but write complain- drunken students are more interesting, the UK as a whole would be to assert that ing letters to the student newspaper still very much like a public school reunion. Brier has delivered what he relevant and important than dismem- those groups who are under-represented rather than make a attempt to change said he would, but his promises were not particularly radical. Until a bered and starving Afghans, I would like in Cambridge at the moment...are under- that policy through the democratic Union President is prepared to tackle the significant access barrier pre- to see this imbalance in reporting represented for the reason that they are avenues freely available to them. sented by the £85 membership fee through corporate sponsored bursaries redressed. less intelligent or less able. Alison Ismail or some other means, then it will remain predominantly the preserve of Anna Gunn I doubt that this was what Mr Lee CUSU Women’s Officer the privileged. CamSAW meant, but these are the conclusions of his flawed arguments, and why I find I Letter of the week It wasn’t me have to disagree. Is Tim Hall really "the most eligible man As Christmassy as mince pies & almost as tasty Your editorial in the 16th November Rachel Tripp in Cambridge"??? I read your piece on Well done to Christian Gardner, a fourth year physicist at Trinity. He was issue of Varsity (“Quality, not quotas”) CUSU Access Officer him…purely to see what women the lucky winner of the two week holiday on the ski trip, picked at ran- wrongly attributes to me the “recent” want…and was totally amazed that dom from the many questionnaire answers. The findings from the survey statement that “selection criteria should Help for the homeless someone so monochrome could be will be exclusively revealed in the first issue next term. Christian will now be based on the needs of the institution I would like to commend Michael regarded as so attractive! His respons- concerned, rather than simply a search Phillips for his article highlighting the es…were so appallingly dull and pre- be away on the slopes of Val d’Isere, missing the Varsity rugby match. for excellence.” This statement is taken plight of the homeless in Cambridge. It dictable. Okay so he may be mildly good- However, for all those back in blighty there is no excuse not to go to from the report of a seminar for heads of disturbs me that many students have looking (or so I'm told) but where's his Twickenham to support those magnificent men in Light Blue. Last year institutions that was held some six come to accept homelessness as a feature wit, his individuality, his eccentricity? the underdogs Cambridge just lost to the Dark Side, so this time with the months ago on 21st May 2001. This of life in Cambridge…This is promoted Cambridge women want…character, dis- sides more evenly balanced Varsity expects a victory. However, it is vital report may be readily consulted at by an implicit assumption which seems tinction and verve, not a platitude-pro- http://www.admin.cam.ac.uk/ pervasive in Cambridge that the univer- ducing monosyllabic stereotype. Or that as many people as possible go to the match to cheer on the team. We offices/personnel/equality/seminar.html sity and colleges are somehow wholly maybe your interview didn't permit his give you the low down on the pubs and teams in the special pull out. . distinct from the city and do not bear character to shine through? Finally whether you are planning to be on the slopes, at the rugby or just Peter Deer responsibility for its problems…As stu- Peter Head planning to get merrily fat on mince pies, the whole Varsity team would Director of Personnel dents, we can engage in a vigorous cam- Magdalene College like to wish you all the best for the festive season. Mwah mwah. paign to put pressure on the authorities Alex Lee is wrong again to ensure that no-one in our community [email protected] Having read Alex Lee’s article last week is left literally out in the cold. Anyone Varsity Publications Ltd (“All Aboard for Elitist Access”), I had to who is interested in getting involved in The winner of the Letter of Second Floor, 11-12 Trumpington Street, Cambridge CB2 1QA write in and respond. The article demon- such a campaign please contact me. the Week wins two tickets to Varsity Online: www.varsity.cam.ac.uk strated a fundamental misunderstanding David Bilchitz the Arts Picture House Advertising: 01223 353422 Editorial: 01223 337575 Fax: 01223 352913 of the principles of the Access Campaign, [email protected]

The Varsity Team If you would like to contribute to Varsity, turn up to a section meeting (times below) at the Varsity offices (unless otherwise indicated) or email a section editor Editors Julian Blake, Adam Joseph [email protected] News Editors Sophie Morphet, Judith Whiteley [email protected] Business Manager Ed Hall [email protected] News Features Editor Michael Phillips [email protected] Technical Director Tim Harris Interviews Editor Natasha Grayson [email protected] Company Secretary Diana Tapp Science Editors Becky Burton, Gabbie Bradfield [email protected] Fashion Editors Emily Haworth-Booth, Katharine Hibbert [email protected] Production Manager James Southgate [email protected] Outlook Editors Rachael Marsh, Anita Moss [email protected] Creative Director James O’Connor [email protected] Sport Editor Nick King [email protected] Chief Sub-editors Amy Frost, Jonathan Styles Photos Editor Sam Dobbin [email protected] Arts Editor Rob Sharp [email protected] News Photos Editor Kieran Drake Theatre Editors Alex Lee, Sarah Legrand [email protected] Sport Photos Editor Catherine Harrison Film Editors Will Bland, Kate McNaughton [email protected] Online Editor Chris Waiting [email protected] Music Editors Louisa Thomson, Dave Thorley [email protected] Online Webmaster Richard Lee [email protected] Classical Music Editor Ben Ward [email protected] Page Design Jim Minter, Simon Dangoor, Lizie Capon, Frances Turner Literature Editor Sarah Savitt [email protected] Sub-editors Naomi Leon, Glenda Newton, Dan O’Huiginn Visual Arts Editor Vanessa Hodgkinson [email protected] outlook ¥ 10 fashion ¥ 12

A day in the life science ¥ 13

A day in the life of the most eligible

Hangover rife interview ¥ 20

Trouble and strife Photos: Sam Dobbin outlook interview 23 November 2001 10 fashion science www.varsity.cam.ac.uk focus

OK, so after the crucial build up and terrifying suspense of the last few weeks’ Most Eligible Bachelor and Bachelorette competition, we know that you are on the edge of your seats to find out how the date went. It’s a sul- try Monday night in the depths of a quiet Cambridge suburb, the date has been set, and two nervous, but beautiful people are tentatively making their way towards the same place. Their meeting is unavoidable, but what Most Eligible will the outcome be? Can two strangers meet in the night and realise they Most Eligible are meant to be together? The romantic location, the vital availability, the acknowledged intentions; it was perfect. Could it be anything but a happy the dame and the date ending? Last week we gave you the lowdown on alarmingly accurate description of my our eligible bachelor, so this week we usual attempts. I tend to go for men are going to treat you to a bit of info on who coach or teach; I’ve been doing This is how he rated her… our awesome eligible bachelorette, that since I was about 10. Ideally the Little Miss Feisty, aka Juss Hudson. We guy for me has to be sporty, musical, Ok then, I’d just ordered my drink at the er’s sparkling banter and witty innuendo (after the Prince) for a boy instead of my thought long and hard about the ques- very bright, witty, sexy and love dogs. bar when this vision of beauty strolled into got the conversation flowing – he definite- preferred Montgomery or Dwayne, but it tions to make sure to give you rounded .3. Which chat up line melts your Browns with photographer trailing ly knew how to play the role of cupid. We mattered little. It was a terrific evening – I and informative insight into heart? I am an ice maiden – nothing behind. In short, Little Miss Feisty was had a really deep and meaningful discus- can only think it was the Jesus-John’s rival- Cambridge’s most eligible bachelorette. melts my heart, but if a man cooks me stunning – I’d hoped for someone sion and when we started discussing our ry that prevented things going any further a good meal I get very keen. Saying that Kournikova-esque but frankly she was future kids’ names it was obvious that we during the night. Thank you Varsity, I’m 1. Which famous man really turns I do lurve accents (posh or australian) even better. Initially things were slightly were really hitting it off. Was slightly wor- sure we’ll be meeting again, hopefully very you on and why? Clint Eastwood or so they can talk crap and I’ll be loving awkward but fortunately the photograph- ried that she seemed to favour William soon and then, well, who knows… Arnold Schwarzenegger because they it. don’t take any shit, and they’re cute. 4. Which is the ugliest college? 2. What do you look for in your aver- Churchill age bloke? I’d rather not pull an ‘aver- 5. Which has the ugliest people? age bloke,’ yet that seems to be an Johns (except Mr Balls of course) 6. How often do you get drunk? Once a month.. maybe .. I’m an athlete! Saying that, the Hawks caught me out earlier this week. 7. How much do you spend on booze per week? Maybe enough for the odd guinnesss. 8. Have you ever vomited under the influence of alcohol, if so, where? No, I’m not a vommer. 9. Where would you go on your ideal date? Ideal date would be to go to the gym and do a massive work out, he Photos: Sam Dobbin cooks me spag bol and then we walk the dogs. I’d be putty then. 10. In your dreams, where would you like to live? Australia or America, well a …and what she said about him few houses all over the place would do. 11. If you could blow up one thing in Right, well, Mr Balls was thoroughly suggestions and soon I was laughing my goes to, but have been able to forgive Cambridge, what would it be? Filth gorgeous. He even picked my main head off. We chatted all night about all this mistake of his. Had a beautiful Avenue. course for me (and an excellent choice – sorts of random stuff, I gazed into his meal, and had much trouble finishing 12. If you hadn’t met the man of your the guinness pie) as I was too over- Prince William-esque blue eyes, stun- the cheese toastie I was made later on dreams in Tim, which other bachelor whelmed by the fabulous choices from ning. who would have thought I’d ever into the morning. wink ;-). I can’t would you have gone for, and why? the menu. It was a bit tricky at first, we meet someone so close to my ideal type believe my luck, thank you Varsity. will Tim is the one. defo. yum. were a bit embarrassed but the photog- (Mark Mangan from Jesus). Slightly dis- defo meet him again and again and rapher broke the ice with some witty appointed about the nasty college he again. *sigh*. Am WELL pleased. Jack of all trades, master of none Ad Cloherty munches his way through Mexican fare on the other side of the world, aka the Grafton Centre Readers of an adventurous persuasion Whilst I asked it to be cooked medium, ‘Orgasm’, and also recommended the might be interested to learn that there it arrived well and truly cremated and ‘Evil Barman’ – I shall leave it to read- is civilisation on the other side of the sauce had a fairly thick ‘skin’ of the ers to deduce whether the two things Midsummer Common. It comes in the type that recalls the custard of school are linked. During happy hour, all form of Footlights bar-cum-restaurant, dinners and the college buttery. My cocktails are £2.95 or two-pint jugs are situated in the Grafton Centre. companion fared slightly better with a £11, which makes Footlights a definite Although the menu proclaimed “the warm chicken salad ‘Mexican stylee’ at option for pre-clubbing lubrication and best Mexican food this side of the £8.90. Although the stir-fry element the good range of tortillas and dips are Atlantic”, we remained sceptical (in was decidedly limp, there was plenty of recommended stomach-liners. There is unashamed journalistic style) that an it and the marinade made its mark also a scaled-down lunch time menu, apparently unimpressive establishment without losing its subtlety. Already reasonably priced to tempt those die- such as this could meet such a tall beginning to suffer the effects of over hard Grafton centre shoppers away order. The starters, however, were excel- indulgence (our meagre student stom- from their sport. Footlights bills itself lent. My companion had Hongos: a achs not being used to such multi- as a ‘Mexican, American, European tortilla with mushrooms cooked in course action), we decided to share a Café, Bar, Restaurant’ but I’m not sure white wine and lemon served with gua- lemon sorbet for dessert, which I’m it lives up to such a wide claim. With camole and melted cheese. A subtle mix sure would have been good. If they American and European diners prolif- and not bad at £3.40. After much weren’t out of it. In fairness, there were erating in Cambridge at the moment, deliberation over what is a comprehen- many alternatives on the dessert menu, there is no need to cast their net so wide sive selection, I settled for the Cajun such as ‘Death by Chocolate’ – all and had they restricted themselves to onion rings, which were served with priced at just £3.25 each – but all just the Mexican theme, which is blue cheese and sour cream dips. seemed a little heavy for us. undoubtedly their strong point, I’m Unlike many places, they actually were Now to the important bit. Drinks. sure they would have carried it off real- crispy (and good value at £2.85) and The house wine at £2.35 at glass was ly well. On the plus side, the service there were more than your average refreshingly good. She sampled the really was faultless and the restaurant weight-conscious Cantabrigian would white, a very drinkable French number, itself had a young, vibrant feel, with dare eat. while I slurped through a deep, fruity lots of glass and a split-level arrange- On the other hand, the main courses Italian bottle. Even better were the ment – not to mention Kylie and the were mediocre. I opted for the rump cocktails and, in the spirit of investiga- rest playing in the background at just steak with green peppercorn sauce tive journalism, we tried a range of the right unobtrusive volume. All in all, (£10.45) – easy to compare with other creamy and fruit-based drinks. My worth the trip and especially so for places and not difficult to deliver. companion reported enjoying her lunch or cocktails and munchies. 23 November 2001 outlook interview focus www.varsity.cam.ac.uk fashion science 11 So good it should be illegal RANT James Douglass and Thomas Farnsworth enjoy tantalising tastes at persuasive prices Zoe Strimpel I love the snow. When I’m inside. When tle unadventurous, and mainly soup- They served it in the French style, with a eaten another thing I would have fallen off Don’t get me wrong; I’m in one. I am in I’m out in it, it just gets down the back of based, but the rest of the menu is widely single large parmesan crouton. Ten out of my chair. I tried some though. Well made, the Scarlett Harlots, and last night we my neck and annoys me. Which bloody ranged, and since main course prices start ten for presentation, zero for practicality. well presented, sweet and rich. Very good dined with the Trinity Golden Members. country did John Keats live in? “Season of at £6 and go to £13, the sheer value can- See me. This doesn’t really work in a deep indeed. Last night got me thinking. What is mists and mellow fruitfulness” my arse. not really be sniffed at. Not even if you bowl, and the parmesan was the sort of The wine list was wide ranging – New implied by being in a drinking society, With this being the weather conditions, have walked in out of the Cambridge cold. socks-and-old-sawdust stuff you get in World and European – and goes from £9 where the rules are reminiscent of a we were grateful indeed to be able to duck The scope of the menu and the prices will Pizza Hut. Shame. It was palatable, but I to £16. The house Merlot is excellent. kindergarden classroom seating plan, and into the Lawyer’s Wine and Oyster Bar, almost inevitably leave you to believe that just wanted the taste of fish, and I didn’t This is a restaurant that I will return to, the games played are similar, only with opposite the Catholic Church on the food will be mediocre at best. You will get it enough. and where I would take someone I want- wine and not apple juice? We meet and Lensfield Road. The Lawyer’s is, I must be very, very wrong. Mains, however, were simply amazing. If ed to impress, because after ten minutes in walk over, as a group, united in the com- admit, a bit of a haunt of ours. The atmos- We started with the house pate, and the the chef cares to explain quite how they the low-lit chilled atmosphere, you can’t mon goal of...What? We are shown into phere is amazing. You are instantly con- fish soup. The pâté was smooth, creamy, engineered the main courses for size, pres- help but relax and grin, like everyone else. the bar and are expected to schmooze with fronted with a scene that you can imagine and tasty, and came with a dressed salad, entation, and taste, I would very much There doesn’t seem to be a need to book, the boys. The nature of the schmoozing is either finding in a Spanish cellar or a which was more than the usual plate-filler like to know. We had the Local Roast and the relaxed attitude of the staff is won- stilted and awkward, one feels precarious- Dorothy L. Sayers novel, or possibly both. garnish that one expects, because it was Ham with Mustard Mash and Parsley derful. That isn’t to say the service isn’t ly balanced between the dorkiness of a sin- It is all polished wood, candlelit, and com- worth eating. They also resisted the temp- Sauce (£7), and the Wildroast Pheasant attentive, it is, but it isn’t smothering gles club and the cool, fun-lovingness of fortable, with the candles standing in old tation to drench it in dressing, a personal with Winter Vegetable Purée and Parsnip either. girly confidence. Still, those boys look wine bottles with decades of wax running bête noire. The cranberry sauce that crisps (£12). The sheer size of the portions And then, we had to put on our coats, mighty eager to please. We are hearded to down the sides. Eschewing the sort of accompanied was fruity, and very nice. and the artful presentation presaged a and go outside. And it was snowing.Down the buttery, buy our two bottles of wine, muzak one usually finds in a restaurant And, (and this is a big “and”) there was great meal, and it lived up to expectations. the back of my neck. and then walk back to the bar. you’ll find an eclectic Latin jazz mix, enough bread. The soup was unfortunate- Ham first. It sounds disturbingly like a Finally, the meal. Where does one try to which I just love. ly on the mediocre side. It was timidly glorified school dinner, but it was beauti- sit? After all, isn’t the ultimate goal of the The menu’s not bad either. If I were to fishy, as if the last person to eat it had com- fully well-cooked ham, and the balance in night to meet someone nice, and to put it pick holes, I’d say that the starters are a lit- plained that it had tasted of, well, fish. both the mustard mash and the parsley crudely, to pull? Therefore, if you aren’t sit- sauce was just right. I would discuss it ting next to cute guys, isn’t the whole night more, but I want to rhapsodise about the a waste of time? As the wine is poured (the pheasant, because I really, really want peo- boys are good at pennying) the conversa- ple to eat this dish. I grew up on pheasant tion moves from “So, Are you all first stews, and I have never had game fowl like years?”, “What subject do you do?” etc. to this. Having been warned by the waiter “Lets all pass opal fruits around by mouth that the pheasant had been shot, I expect- and still not admit that what we all really ed to lose at least some tooth enamel to came for would happen if it weren’t for Purdeyís finest, but it was free from metal, those pesky opal fruits.” But, the nature of and perfectly roasted. Parsnip crisps com- a place like Cambridge means that no one plied with the Delia school of deep frying, can say this; hidden desires for mass orgies crispy on the outside, fluffy within. The and the like have to be oppressed amd jus was rich and tasty, and the swede and concealed under the ambiguity of a potato mash juicy and gorgeous. I would “drinking society.” After all, with a name give this dish six out of a possible five. like the Scarlett Harlots, shouldn’t we be Hell, I’d give it ten. acting like harlots? And shouldn’t the Desert was a ‘raspberry brulée’, which Golden Members be giving their was of no interest to me, because if I had Members an airing?

1 2 3 4 5 Cryptic Crossword Down 6 Across 1. Expressionless, when six feet under a pot (7) 3. A birdwatcher is in spasms? (8) 2. No cents hammered from agreement (7) CHRISTMAS 7 8 9 6. He killed sons and she overdosed (5) 3. A cistern on caterpillars? (4) Spending Christmas in Cambridge this 7. Run around a pot (3) 4. Portraitist’s holiday shortened by second rate year? Most people go home, but a sur- 10 8. It’s a hat for a cricketer (6) German one (7) prising number of people also choose to 10 March day Caesar should beware – dies in 5. Scarceness of rector and rabbi in talking stay, especially overseas students. 11 12 commotion (4) Yiddish, initially (6) It is for these people that a new socie- 11. Self-esteem produces, for example, love (3) 7. Initially under fire over flying saucer (3) ty is forming. When everything else 13 12. Neatest or saucy ditties (7) 9. Pious Ed upset by mother-lover (7) shuts down this society comes alive! 14. Difficult start, not beginning in shallow water 12. The gold year hypothesis (6) Through a series of social events, before 14 15 (2,2,3,4,3) 13. Grain is in the instalment, but the sound of it and after Christmas, it aims to build a 16. Condiment neither for the goose nor the gan- (6) community from those staying on. der, but the turkey (9,5) 15. Deviant mutant with king gives outburst of Email [email protected] 16 17 18 19 21. Dim Lara in a sorry state for naval man (7) bad temper (7) for details. 22. Help maiden knock men out (3) 17. Batter at segment from fortification (7) 20 24. One in run for defeat (4) 18. Sad reds devastated by speech (7) 25. Trap puma not very quietly, giving suffering 19. Incur most of debts when inquisitive (7) 21 22 (6) 20. Feline let loose into cows (6) 26. Love of French poetry (3) 22. Non-returnable stroke from one on the cards 23 24 27. Bring a suit after one bearing children (5) (3) 28. Ten relax carelessly outside (8) 23. 8 loses hesitation and provides vessel (4) Christmas Offers 25 26 Full head highlights and a cut 27 Quick Crossword and finish for an amazing Across Down £59.50 (normally £90) 28 3. Type of angel (8) 1. To calm, pacify (7) 6. Fruit (5) 2. Whale fat (7) Half head highlights and a 7. Short-lived craze (3) 3. System of signals to ensure secrecy (4) The Varsity crossword is sponsored by Joti and Debbie, graduate advisors at Natwest. To win a £10 music/book voucher return cut and finish all for £51 either completed puzzle with your details to the Varsity offices by 12 noon Wednesday. 8. Sweet pastry containing cream (6) 4. Pan for holding burning coals (7 10. A part of speech (4) 5. One put to death for their religion (6) (normally £75) Compiled by Sarah 11. Herb of laurel family (3) 6. Having a fairylike quality (3) 12. Declare as "blessed" (R C Ch) (7) 9. Metal frame of car (7) A 15% NUS discount Answers to last week’s crossword: 14. Study of chemical composition of rocks (14) 12. Woody grass (6) applies to all other services Cryptic Crossword – Across: 1. Sternum 5. Home run 9. Spied 10. Liner 11. Gesticulate 14. Terrain 16. 16. Disposedness to fight (14) 13. A ballroom dance (3-3) and is available, Monday to Sultana 18. Holdall 21. Cussing 24. Word of mouth 28. Udder 29. Ingot 30. Singles 31. Dryness 21. Branch of maths that uses letters (7) 15. Comprising of several items, esp. book (7) Down: 1. Suspect 2. Eking 3. Nudes 4. Martian 5. Humbugs 6. Malta 7. Range 8. Nirvana 12. Err 13. Tot 22. 2D representation of the Earth (3) 17. Promote (7) Friday, all year round 15. Aha 17. Les 18. Hiccups 19. Duo 20. Loofahs 21. Camp bed 22. Sat 23. Gyrates 24. Woden 25. Rural 24. Layer of earth containing dense grass 18. Roman god of water (7) 26. Unity 27. Hague growth (4) 19. Austere (7) Crowne Plaza Downing St Quick Crossword – Across: 1. Abscess 5. Syringe 9. Texas 10. Irony 11. Nonchalance 14. Steroid 16. 25. Cook in liquid (6) 20. West African country (6) 01223 301010 Rundown 18. Widdled 21. Dowager 24. Renaissance 28. Cumin 29. Meets 30. Banshee 31. Schools 26. Pool of air condensation (3) 22. To cut grass (3) Offer also available at Atrium Health Down: 1. Antlers 2. Saxon 3. Essen 4. Swathed 5. Stellar 6. Reign 7. Noose 8. Elysian 12. Oar 13. God 15. 27. Fold, press, stretch with hands, esp. dough 23. A fluid current moving against the main Club, Newmarket Rd 01223 319154 Owl 17. New 18. Wolf cub 19. Die 20. Deicide 21. Discuss 22. Arc 23. Revises 24 Roman 25. Ninth 26. (5) current (4) Special offer is valid Monday to Friday until 8th Nymph 27. E.I.E.I.O 28. Sourness (8) Dec, please bring this ad with you Last week’s winner was Glenda Newton (Trinity) – your voucher is at NatWest Benet Street. outlook interview 23 November 2001 12 fashion science www.varsity.cam.ac.uk focus

DISASTER! THE PAGE WAS DUE, SHE CRAWLED OUT OF BED AND IT WAS MIDDAY, WE STILL WE BEGAN OUR RESEARCH HADN’T STARTED…

Very interesting

…AND EMILY WAS STILL ASLEEP Denim coat, Levi’s. Brownie badge, priceless. Duvet, Clare college. J-17, Sainsbury’s, £2. Biography of Chanel, Galloway & Porter, £2 WE WERE DESPERATE FOR We’ve used all these SUSTENANCE, SO WE clothes already STOPPED FOR LUNCH…

Accessories?

Slinky, Woolworths. Asthma Inhaler, NHS. Satsumas, Sainsbury’s. Hat, Charity Shop. Knickers, Miss Selfridge. Belt, stylist’s Dad’s Bowl of custard, Clare buttery, 10p. WE SET OFF IN HOT PURSUIT WE RAIDED THE SHOPS FOR INSPIRATION… OF SOME TRENDY GUYS

Which college Where did they scarf do you think What about would suit me best? get those hats? gowns as dresses? Monochrome and austere!

Clare bridge, not paid for by Clare college Gown, Ryder & Amies. Gloves, M&S, £5. Scarf, M&S, £15 College scarves, Ryder & Amies, £14.50. Grey scarf, flea market, 15p NEXT, TOPSHOP… 12 FASHION FILLED HOURS LATER AT Gosh, Charlie THE VARSITY OFFICES Very Hoxton, we’ve been looking all day and darling we still don’t know what to put on our page! Gimme five!

Why don’t you just do a photo story?

Hurrah!

THE PROBLEM WAS SOLVED! THE PAGE WAS FINISHED. THE END. Hat, £10. Skirt, £28. Shirt, £25. Bustier, £30. All Topshop Duffel coat, Rokit, Camden. Bag and badge, Superlovers. Style, Emily and Kath, very expensive. 23 November 2001 outlook interview focus www.varsity.cam.ac.uk fashion science 13 Hangovers: the ultimate guide As the end of term approaches and Christmas looms, Hannah Fuller brings you Varsity’s top ten hangover cures. When you wake up with your mouth drier than the front page of TCS, you know it is going to be a long day. Most of us have experienced the symptoms: pounding head, nausea, dizziness, horror at the memory of that minger you pulled. But what actually causes a hangover? Early Christians believed that it was a punishment from God for over indulgence. However, we now know that there are four main factors involved in giving you the hangover from hell. Firstly, alcohol is a diuretic and so causes you to become dehydrated. This has a number of effects on the body including causing the brain to swell, hence the headache. Secondly, there are the effects of highly toxic congeners. These are chemical substances that are by-products of the fermentation process and give drinks their colour and flavour. Thirdly, the body suffers malnutrition, as the alcohol and liquids flush out essential vitamins and minerals. Lastly, you are actually suffering from withdrawal symptoms after overload- ing your system with a drug. So, want to know how you can ease the pain? Read on…

Black Coffee Water Hair of the Dog Choose Your An old favourite, coffee can provide This is the best hangover prevention This is also a popular hangover cure, and Drinks Carefully relief from that pounding headache, and cure by far. Try to drink several the reason why it may seem to help is as it constricts enlarged blood vessels glasses of water during the evening because of the withdrawal symptoms you In general, the darker the drink, the in the head. However, coffee is a and always drink a couple of pints are suffering after an alcohol overdose. It more congeners it contains. Port and diuretic and so can add to the dehy- before you go to bed. This should may alleviate some of the pain, but the red wine are notorious for giving dration, worsening your hangover. If help to prevent dehydration and the effects are temporary and you are likely to hangovers while vodka and gin are a you choose this remedy, ensure you next morning drink even more. end up with the mother of all hangovers much better option. (However, tonic drink plenty of water as well. Combine this with a generous help- eventually! contains quinine, which can cause In addition, the caffeine contained ing of vitamins B and C (for example, Many people swear by a Bloody Mary the male infertility, so don’t overdo the G in the coffee will prevent you from whole grain cereals with fresh milk morning after and this is a good option if & Ts!) sleeping, which is something you and a glass of orange juice for break- you want to try ‘hair of the dog’ because the The old adage “liquor then beer and will need to do to get over your fast) and you should be virtually tomato juice is rich in vitamins and nutri- you’re in the clear, beer then liquor hangover. The liver breaks down hangover-free! ents, replacing some of those lost by drink- and you’ll get sicker” actually has alcohol into sugars, so when you pass ing too much. some truth behind it. The carbona- out after an evening of drinking, Effectiveness Rating: ✩✩✩✩✩ Effectiveness Rating: ✩ tion in beer speeds the body’s absorp- your body becomes overloaded with tion of alcohol, so drinking beer then liquor would cause the latter to be absorbed at a faster rate than it would Aspirin normally, leaving you feeling sicker! If you’re the sort of person that natu- rally reaches for the over-the-counter Effectiveness Rating: ✩✩✩✩ drugs at the first sight of a hangover, think again. Aspirin, paracetamol and ibroprufen may ease the pain temporarily but the combination of Voodoo Cure alcohol and another drug is likely to If all else fails, then try the ancient cause quite serious damage to the Haitian Voodoo Cure. Stick 13 black stomach lining. headed pins into the cork of the Your liver is responsible for break- offending bottle… ing down painkillers: but if you are hungover at the time, it will be over- loaded with alcohol as well, so mix- Effectiveness Rating: I’m not promis- ing these two drugs could do perma- ing anything! energy in the form of sugar. This nent damage here too. Probably best prevents you from entering REM, or to give this one a miss! deep, dreamy sleep, which is why a hangover usually comes hand in Sex hand with tiredness, no matter how Effectiveness Rating: zero The endorphins and dopamine many hours you were passed out for! released during sex are thought to ease the unpleasant feelings Effectiveness Rating: ✩✩ associated with hangovers. Greasy Breakfast Soot In addition, the exercise A full English breakfast may help to Nineteenth-century chimney sweeps will have you sweating replace some of the missing nutrients in England used to swear by a long, out the toxins, which Baking soda and soak up any alcohol not yet warm glass of sooty water to cure a cause you to feel ill. A An irritated stomach produces acid, absorbed, but few can handle a fry-up hangover – yum! good remedy if you so baking soda can help to relieve this. when they feel like they’re about to Varsity is looking for a volunteer to feel up to it! If you mix it with water then this can throw up! test this one out. also help with the dehydration. Effectiveness Effectiveness Rating: ✩✩✩✩ Effectiveness Rating: ✩✩ Effectiveness Rating: ? Rating: ✩✩✩ Still the safest form of transport?

The tragic crash of American Airlines 36 crashes were recorded, a measly rate ing so many flights, it is inevitable that Flight 587 in New York on 12 of 1 in 500,000. At this rate, if you were the unexpected will occur. November has reminded us of the vul- to fly once a day, you could expect to be Fear of flying seems to be bred from a nerabilities of the air transportation sys- in a crash by the year 3370. And that feeling of a lack of control. Humans tem. Passenger numbers, already low statistic takes into account airlines with weren’t designed to fly and the thought after September 11th, have fallen even less salubrious safety records. Since of something going wrong at 500 mph further as journeys have been cancelled 1970, British Airways has had a mere and 35,000 feet makes us all feel rather and travel plans cut back, plunging two crashes whereas Korean Airways has helpless. However, as the statistics prove, many airlines into financial strife. “I’ll clocked in a rate 17 times as high. there is simply no logical reason to fear never set foot in a plane again,” declared Mechanical failure is thought to be air travel: we are more safe in the air one American. But is this fear justified? behind the demise of the Airbus A300 than we are when driving to the airport. Is there any reason to grip the arm rest on 12th November and this is the most Yet for those of you not convinced by as the plane gathers pace on the runway? common cause of plane crashes. statistics, do not despair. An American According to Boeing, fear of flying is However, safety checks among reputable company, SafeAir Services, Inc., offers the second most common phobia with airlines are more stringent than for any for $20 a guide to surviving an air crash. over 25 million sufferers. Yet out of over other form of transport, barring space A wise read? I think not. 18 million airline flights in 2000, only travel. When so many aircraft are mak- Simon Dangoor 23 November 2001 14 LISTINGS www.varsity.cam.ac.uk

• Footlights: Bar night. Enjoy • Cambridge University International FRIDAY 23 SATURDAY 24 SUNDAY 25 excellent stand-up, fine music and Society: University International Xmas good company!. ADC Theatre, Bar. Party Night. Toxicate 10pm £4. FILM FILM FILM 7:45pm. £3. • CU Meditation & Buddhism • ARTS: 2.00, 5.00, 8.00: Harry • ARTS: 11.00am: The Last • ARTS: 2.00, 5.00, 8.00: Harry • Madhouse/Gods: Auditions! Society: Introduction to meditation, Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone Unicorn (U) (Kids Club). 2.00, Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone Brecht’s Caucasian Chalk Circle. for relaxation and development. (PG). 11.00pm: This Is Spinal Tap 5.00, 8.00: Harry Potter And The (PG). 1.00, 8.30: Ghostworld (15). Freshers only. St John’s College, 4th Sidney Sussex College, Knox-Shaw (15). 3.15, 7.15: Apocalyse Now Philosopher’s Stone (PG). 11.00pm: 3.00: Chinatown (15). 6.30: Warren practice room (will be signposted). Room. 7:15pm. Redux (15). 10.40pm: Happiness This Is Spinal Tap (15). 11.30am, Miller – Extreme (Ski Programme). 2pm. • cu yoga society: Ivengar Yoga with (18). 1.30: Pandemonium (15). 3.15, 7.15: Apocalyse Now Redux 12.45: Damnation (15). 3.15, 7.15: Philippe. Lucy Cavendish College, 3.50, 6.10, 8.30: Ghostworld (15). (15). 10.40pm: Happiness (18). Apocalypse Now Redux (15). Oldham Student Bar. 5:15pm. £3.50, 10.50pm: This Is Stina Nordenstam. 1.30: Pandemonium (15). 3.50, • Christ’s Films present: SHREK: 26 or termcard for 4 sessions for £10. 6.10, 8.30: Ghostworld (15). Smash hit animated comedy of 2001 MONDAY • CUTAZZ: Intermediate/Advanced MISC 10.50pm: This Is Stina – not just for kids! Christs New Court tap classes. Robinson College, Games • CU Jewish Society: ‘Friday Night Nordenstam. Bar: from 8.30: Theatre. 8pm & 10:30pm. £2 FILM Room. 7pm. £2.50. Experience’ – meal + entertainment, Charm Offensive; music and • Queens’ Films: Memento. 8pm. • ARTS: 2.00, 5.00, 8.00: Harry • Queens’ Art Society: Life drawing followed by Culanu Oneg. Student visuals. £1.50. Stand By Me. 10:30pm. Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone class. Everybody welcome. (Materials Centre, 3 Thompsons Lane. 7:30pm. £1.50. Fitzpatrick Hall. (PG). 2.00, 8.15: Apocalypse Now provided.) Queens’ College, Erasmus • Hughes Hall Ents: Xmas BOP with MISC • Robinson Films: Save The Last Redux (15). 6.00: Bunuel Season: Los Room. 7:30pm. £2. cheap beer, cocktails, breezers and • Christmas Studios: exhibition of Dance. Robinson College, Olvidados & Simon of the Desert • Raja Yoga Society: Stressed? free wine (while stocks last). Cheesy B&W and colour photographs by Auditorium. 7pm & 10pm. £2. (15). 2.30, 4.50, 9.30: Ghost World Remaining free from worry helps Music. Hughes Hall, Bar. 9pm. £1 Elena Retfalvi. Cavendish Road 33. • St John’s Films: Swordfish (15). (15). 7.00: Jewish Film Festival your study. Empowering tips. Inner HH, £3 non-Hughes. 11am. 3pm, 7:30pm and 10pm. St John’s Special Event: I Am, You Are (15) – Space, 6 King’s Parade. Cambridge • Junction CDC: Apples and Snakes • CU Ballet Club: Pointe Class [30 College, Fisher Building. 7:30pm. • Central European Film Club: The Tel: 464616. 8pm. present five master of storytelling mins] for ‘intermediate’ & £1.80. Thief (1997) by Pavel Chukrai. Caius and poetry. Cambridge Drama ‘advanced’ dancers. Kelsey • THEFT: The Princess Bride. Rob College, Bateman Auditorium. 8pm. MUSIC Centre, Covent Garden, Mill Road. Kerridge. 4pm 50p. Reiner explores the concept of the • Trinity Film: The Maltese Falcon. A • Cambridge University 8pm. £5. • CU Ballet Club: Adv. Lasts post-modern fairy tale. Trinity Hall, Bogart classic. Trinity College, Troubadours: Rehearsals for • Salsa Classes with Nelson Batista: 1.5hours. Kelsey Kerridge, add Lecture Theatre. 7:30pm. £2. Winstanley Theatre. 9pm. £2. performers of mediaeval and www.cambridgesalsa.com £2.25 entrance to KK. 4:30pm. • Trinity Film: The Maltese Falcon. A Renaissance music. Jesus College, Abs beg/imp:6-7.30pm. Int/adv: £1. Bogart classic.Winstanley Theatre. MISC Octagon room beneath bar. 7:30pm. 7.30-9pm. St Columba’s Hall. 4 • CU Ballet CLub: Intermediate 9pm. £2. • Belly Dance: Belly dance for • Clare College Music Society: Downing Place 6pm. £5 (£4 stud). (approx.grades 4-6 RAD) 1.5hrs. absolute beginners. Fun and good for Allison Griffin, Mezzo-Soprano. Kelsey Kerridge,add £2.25 MISC stress. King’s College, Chetwynd Clare College, Chapel. 1:15pm. MUSIC entrance to KK. 2:30pm. £1. • Christmas Studios: exhibition of Room. 7:30pm. £Concs. • University of Cambridge Concert • Britten@25: Britten Sinfonia • CU Judo Club: Senior graded B&W and colour photographs by • Belly Dance: Belly Dance for Band: Charity Christmas Concert in Soloists play Britten’s chamber music session. Fenner’s Gym. 6pm. Elena Retfalvi. 33 Cavendish Road, regulars. Powerful form of self- Aid of ‘Winter Comfort’. Sidney masterpieces. Jesus College, Chapel. open 11am to 6 pm. 11am. expression. King’s College, Chetwynd Sussex College Chapel. 7:30pm. 8pm. £10; £3 student standby. MUSIC • CU Kickboxing: suitable for any Room. 6pm & 7.30pm. £Concs. • Cafe Studio: Sue Gilmurray – • Jazz in the Bar, Churchill: with standard – beginners welcome. • Cambridge University Strathspey THEATRE singer and songwriter. Emmanuel the Ben Arnold Quartet. Churchill Parkside Community College, 7pm. and Reel Club: Scottish country • ADC Footlights: Inspired silliness! URC, Trumpington St., opp College. 9pm. £2.50. dancing: all welcome including The ADC Footlights Pantomime 2001 Pembroke College. 7:30pm. £5 (£3 • Britten@25: Cambridge • MethSoc: Student led service. Guest complete beginners. St John’s College, “The Scarlet Pimpernel”. ADC concs). University Chamber Choir & preacher, Malcolm Guite – APU Palmerston Room. 7:30pm. £2. Theatre, Tickets 503 333. 7:45pm. • Cambride University ‘Fitz’ Swing Orchestra play Britten & Mozart. chaplain. Wesley Church, nr Christ’s Band: Laid back gig; bar available. Great St Mary’s Church. 8pm. £8; Pieces. 8pm. Christs College, Theatre. 8pm. £4. £6 Members £1 Student members; • Samatha Meditation: Meditation • Downing College Music Society: £3 student standby. classes in traditional buddhist Downing orchestra & choir – • Christ’s College Music Society: meditation. No charge. Darwin Beethoven, Mozart, Britten. Downing Lunchtime Recital – Mozart Horn College, Old Library. 8pm. College, Chapel. 8pm. £2. Concerto No.4, Telemann Double • Junction CDC: Boogie Horn Concerto. Chapel. 1:30pm. MUSIC Wonderland. The Junction. 10pm. • Green Mind Presents: The Rock • Emmanuel College Music Society: £3.50 b4 11 door/5.50 adv. of Travolta + Chris TT + Eebleee. Organ recital by Mark Turner. Feat. • Kettle’s Yard Music: Lunchtime The Portland Arms. 8pm. £4 (£3 Bach, Ireland and Dubois. Emma recital by students. Kettle’s Yard. NUS). College Chapel. 8:30pm. £2/£1. 1:10pm. • Junction CDC: Dot Cotton: • Salsa Dance Night: Pre-Club dance Lesbigay starring ‘I need a miracle’ class for all levels 7-8pm. Club till TALK Coca 10-3. The Junction. 10pm. midnight. www.cambridgesalsa.com. • Cambridge Bird Club: “Richard £7/8 door. Sophbeck Sessions, 14 Tredgold Meinertzhagen” a talk by Mark • Junction CDC: Gig: Pandhora: Lane, off Napier St, (next to Grafton Cocker Students welcome. Milton stunning rock and blues singer. Centre). 7pm. £Class+Club:£4. Country Park Visitor Centre, Support Calling Orson. The Theatre A10/A14 junction. 7:30pm. £1 Junction. 8pm. £3/4. • ADC Footlights: Inspired silliness! n.m. The ADC Footlights Pantomime 2001 • Cambridge Bird Club: “Richard TALK “The Scarlet Pimpernel”. ADC Meinertzhagen” by Mark Cocker. • Britten@25: Britten Study Day: Theatre, Tickets: 503 333. 7:45pm. Ornithologist, spy, fraudster. St Johns West Road Concert Hall. 10am. Community Hall, Hills Road, Cambridge. 8pm. £1 non-members. THEATRE THEATRE • The ADC Footlights Pantomime • ADC Footlights: Inspired silliness! 2001 “The Scarlet Pimpernel”. The ADC Footlights Pantomime ADC Theatre, Tickets: 503 333. Does Science Leave 2001 “The Scarlet Pimpernel”. ADC 7:45pm. Theatre, Advance Tickets 01223 • Lady in the Dark: 503 333. 7:45pm. Gershwin/Weill jazz musical. Room for the Soul? • Lady in the Dark: Gershwin/Weill Fantastic show including the song jazz musical. Robinson College, “My Ship”. Robinson College, Auditorium. 7:30pm. £4.50. Auditorium. 7:30pm. £4.50. with • Lady Margaret Players: The Real • Madhouse/Gods: Auditions! Inspector Calls. Surreal dark comedy Brecht’s Caucasian Chalk Circle. by Tom Stoppard. St John’s College, Freshers only. St John’s College, PROFESSOR SIMON BARON-COHEN School of Pythagoras. 8pm. £3. 4th practice room 2pm. • Pembroke Players: Sarah Kane’s • Pembroke Players: Sarah Kane’s PROFESSOR ROGER PENROSE Phaedra’s Love, a darkly comic Phaedra’s Love, darkly comic modern Greek tragedy. Pembroke modern Greek tragedy. Pembroke DR BRIAN LANCASTER College, New Cellars. 8:30pm. College, New Cellars. 8:30pm. £4/£5. £4/£5. • Preston Society&DeFusion • Preston Society & DeFusion Sunday 25th November – 8pm Productions: Striking production of Productions: Striking production of Mamet’s Oleanna-do you know your Mamet’s Oleanna-do you know tutor? Trinity Hall, Trinity Hall your tutor? Trinity Hall, Trinity Hall Theatre. 7:45pm. £4. Theatre. 7:45pm. £4. The CUlanu Centre • REDS and CUCDW: Confused? A • REDS and CUCDW: Confused? A celebration of original contemporary celebration of original 33 Bridge Street dance. Emmanuel College, Queen’s contemporary dance. Emmanuel (By Magdalene Bridge) Building. 8:30pm. £3.50. College, Queen’s Building. 8:30pm. £3.50. VARSITY RUGBY PREVIEW YOUR EXCLUSIVE PULL-OUT GUIDE TO THE PRIZE, THE PLAYERS AND THE PUBS

Photos: Catherine Harrison 23 November 2001 S2 RUGBY SPECIAL www.varsity.cam.ac.uk SAMOA STORM Story so far Rugby Union 2001 Review Road faithful. A comprehensive 58-7 win over Cambridge RFC demon- strated what fierce competition there 27 Cambridge Hilary Weale 39 Samoa was likely to be for Varsity Match Eleven wins and only three losses up places. Aki Abiola's brace of tries Ben Speight to Saturday's Samoa match is indica- marked his scintillating home debut tive of the success of the Blues' season on the wing, whilst Sam Howard at It is not every Saturday that you get so far, and constitutes an impressive fly-half earned plaudits not only for the opportunity to watch an interna- build-up to the crucial clash against his place-kicking but also for the vari- tional side play in the flesh, let alone the "auld enemy" at rugby HQ. The ety in his game. Four wins on the trot see them playing against your Light Blues' results ring out all the followed, the first two at home against University side. But last Saturday the more brightly when compared with the sterner opposition of Samoans were in town to renew Oxford's tally of four wins from nine Northampton (28-0) and Aberavon acquaintances with the Cambridge games up to the same point. However, (17-9). Two away wins against Blues, the Pacific Islanders claiming come 11th December, past form will Newcastle Falcons (23-14) and victory in what was a highly entertain- count for almost nothing. Bective Rangers (20-0) proved that ing match. Thanks to the "Almost", because the confidence playing away does not daunt the International Rugby Board organising bred from winning a match, whether squad. Harlequins' fairly comprehen- this fixture at the last minute, a it be in style or through sheer drudg- sive away victory (6-30) probably packed Grange Road had the chance ery, means a great deal psychologically came at the right to time to reassemble to see the likes of Brian Lima and Toío and helps to foster team spirit. the players' focus and determination. Vaega in all their hulk-like glory in a There is no better way to kick-start Not that the squad or Tony Rodgers game that did not lack action or brute team unity than by packing were likely to become complacent strength. Not ones to miss the oppor- them off on tour together. about any areas of their game that tunity for a crunching tackle, the So on 12th September, required work. Samoans, as wide as they were tall, CURUFC set off for Following a heartening away victo- showed flare with fast and incisive match, Blues supporters might have the Samoans set about scoring. This Japan. To play in big ry over Loughborough (26-3), the movement. But Cambridge were not been worrying just whether this match time Meredith was the scorer, to stadia in front of thou- Blues made their 46-18 win over to be overawed by their Southern could be just as tight. extend Samoa’s lead to sands of doubtless partisan Japanese Crawshay's Welsh XV difficult by first Hemisphere opposition and they were Cambridge, though, soon got to 34–19. supporters will have granted a foretaste conceding thirteen unanswered points by no means out of their depth. grips with Samoa. The Samoans lost The score was brought of the Twickenham experience to to the visitors. That they then turned Indeed, the deficit at the end of the the ball and quick thinking from closer by another Howard come. Wins round at half time 24-13 up says an match might only have been four James Baker saw him kick the loose penalty but again, from were grafted enormous amount about their charac- points, if Blues stand-off Sam Howard ball ahead. The crowd roared him on, the restart, the Samoans out against ter and the leadership of Michael had taken all of his penalty kick sprinting against the covering man to passed the ball to the wing Keio and Count, captain and no. 8, who has opportunities. score in the corner. Yet, only two min- and substitute Lima Hosei had an excellent season so far. Indeed, The visitors didn’t waste any time in utes later, they raided down the right, stormed over for try num- Universities, the whole pack is looking formidable stamping their authority on proceed- Vaega setting up Sevealii who sprinted ber five. The final piece of by 32-20 and at scrummages, and their rumbling ings. Two minutes after kick-off, a over for Samoa’s second try. Following significant action was a 24-19 respec- maul from the line out has proved a penalty was awarded to the Samoans. a successful conversion another bril- Blues move of high quality tively, but going potent weapon, leading to many tries. Tanner Vili, who had a faultless after- liant move put the contest out of five minutes from time. down 18-30 in the Another rather untidy win against noon with his kicking, popped it sight. Vaega this time passed to Faatau Cambridge, in a well worked, final match against Kanto Bedford (30-15) preceded the hastily between the posts. who chipped over the last line of Blues sweet move to the left, gave the Gakuin University would arranged encounter with Samoa, in Not long after that, Samoa scored defence, and chased his own ball to opportunity for Stuart Moffat, steel them for the chal- which Howard put in another impres- their first try. Following Stowers being score. At 27–10, Howard seemed to returning from Scotland A duty, lenges to come. Last sive performance, and from which the held up on the try line after a scintil- find his kicking boots following his to score in the corner to make the year's Varsity Match Blues, losing 39-27, can take at least lating run down the left wing, the earlier misses and slotted a penalty final score 39–27. squad will testify as much credit and positives as Oxford resulting five-metre scrum brought through the posts so that the score at It was a good, competent perform- that a team can only will have from their encounter with the try with flanker Segi spinning off the half-way break was 27–13. ance from the Blues with plenty of know the true joy of Australia. Oxford should take particu- the pack to score. The conversion fol- The second period saw the Blues positives to take away from the game. winning if it has lar note that many of Cambridge's lowed and Samoa had a 10–0 lead show a little more attacking force. Howard, once in the groove, was experienced the victories have been sealed in the sec- inside six minutes. More points were Pressure in the opening ten minutes of impressive, as was James Baker. The pain of losing too. ond half, when their fitness tells, and added to their tally five minutes later the half was rewarded by two penalties Cambridge performance may have And so the forwards and backs combine to notch when Vili put over another penalty to knocked over by Howard, the second offered food for thought for some the Blues flew home up the tries. open up a thirteen-point gap. Samoa of which was awarded after a sensa- Oxford squad, reportedly watching for their first We can look forward with optimism had visited Grange Road twice in the tional burst by Blues captain Michael on Saturday with the Varsity matches of the to more of the same in the coming 90s, both matches close encounters. Count. But, as in the first half, any match now just over two weeks season in front matches, and of course on 11th But just a quarter of an hour into this time Cambridge began to get close, away. of the Grange December. The view from the Dark Side

Oxford comment Robinson himself has had a difficult they must devise a way to stop season, playing only twenty minutes of Fitzgerald bossing the game and bring- rugby since the tour of Italy. He is ing his fast back three of Marsh, Will Carl Laferton of Cherwell adamant that he will be back for the Rubie and Will Ellerby into play. game against Cambridge, and he will The game against Australia at the This year’s Dark Blues have been noth- need to be at his formidable best in the beginning of November provided ing if not infuriating, combining the backrow. Of equal importance will be something of a diversion for players exhilarating with the exasperating in vice-captain Simon Miall, the England and supporters alike, though Robinson equal measure. Whether they will win Sevens lock-forward, who Robinson has always insisted that “our focus is for the third consecutive Varsity Match describes as “outstanding”. If those totally on the 11th December. The on 11th December depends on how two, along with international props game against Australia is just a build- the Oxford side that turn up that day Kevin Tkachuk and Ray Lehner, can up game like all the others.” Now, with decide to play. Will we see the free- wrest control up front, then that will little over two weeks to go, the skipper running, hard-hitting team who were allow the Oxford backline, far more is focussing his troops on the biggest within four points of Australia with comfortable in attack than in defence, game of many of their lives. It will, he ten minutes to go and put fifty-eight to play off the front foot and dictate says “be very close; the team that wants unanswered points past Bristol? Or the game to Cambridge. it the most will win it.” Yet however will misfortune bring us the ragged Of most note in the backs are Seb much the Dark Blues want it, they bunch who have allowed indiscipline Fitzgerald at fly-half and full-back must ensure that it is the clinical and and defensive laxity to hand victories Nick Marsh, both of whom have rep- collected version of the 2001 side that to opposing sides throughout the sea- resented England Sevens. Fitzgerald is walks out at Twickenham, rather than son? Only time will tell, but ex- Oxford’s lynchpin; secure with boot their calamitous alter ego. On the Wallaby international Oxford captain and hands, he links play tremendously, unpredictable schizophrenic nature of Brett Robinson must be praying that it and is flexible both in offence and in Oxford hangs the outcome of the 2001 Photos: Catherine Harrison is the former. the tackle. If Cambridge are to win, Varsity Match. 23 November 2001 www.varsity.cam.ac.uk RUGBY SPECIAL S3 Oxford will get a proper mauling. Nick King talks to the Blues’ skipper Mike Count about how he rates his chances against Oxford After a chat with the Blues skipper, Mike game and triumph (Angus Innes, victor in Like any good leader, he refuses to offer Count, one thing is obvious above all: he 1998). The defeats have hit the any hints as to his possible thinking but it has absolutely no intention of losing this Cambridge lads hard and they know it is is clear that competition is particularly year’s Varsity Match. This might sound time for revenge. Of course there is an fierce in the locks, wings and centres. But like I am stating the obvious but it is hard equally determined Oxford team who will perhaps it can be seen as a pleasant choice for me to put into words the calm with stand in their way but, as Mike makes all to have to make – it is certainly better to which he talks about all the things hap- too clear, “it’s been hard for us losing the have too many good players than too few. pening in the lead up to the match, and last two. The defeats have been narrow One might have expected the strongest how the game might go, and also to and that has made it all the more difficult side to have been played in the recent describe the steely determination which is – we know what we have to do.” I believe Samoa match but, “things were not ideal so hard to miss in his eye. To talk to him him. and we were slightly limited by injuries

Photo: Nick King is to be convinced of the outcome. He has At the moment the entire squad is and absent players.” Nevertheless, the that lets me know he isn’t joking. But it’s thing that he had thought about prior to the sort of mettle that Blues captains are focussed on this, the most monumental skipper was pleased with the performance. important for everyone surely? He agrees getting the job but now it is all the thinks made of and the sort of mettle that win- fixture of their sporting careers. It is tragic “We showed a lot of character and, as we but considers what it means to him on a about. The hopes of a University lie with ners are made of. On 11th December, that some will be told they cannot come, have done all season, picked up our game personal level and tells me that playing as him and his team. Mike Count will be both. awful that they are informed they are sur- when it was necessary to do so.” Mike was captain at Twickenham is the ultimate. None of the Cambridge players underes- I am putting myself on the line in saying plus to requirements and that they hear also pleased with the enthusiasm of the He’s not quite sure how to put what he timate the strength of the Oxford squad, this but I am of little doubt that we will go those gut-wrenching words: “I’m very crowd at that match and mentioned the wants to say but nor would I be – it’s sim- but at the same time none of them have to Twickenham and we will overcome sorry, but you won’t be starting.” partisan support that he has experienced ply something inside. If you can, consider any doubts about their own ability and what is certainly a tough Oxford side. The Competition in the squad at the moment and expects again at the Varsity Match as for a minute what Mike Count has their potential for this match. When the margin of defeat will not be great, the last is fierce and within the next week or so so important to him. “It is one of the most achieved. Having started on the bench for ball is kicked high into the air at two seasons have both given the Dark Side Mike must sit with his coaches and decide special things about the game and all the the Colleges XV in his first year, he has Twickenham and a near 80,000 capacity victories by just a three-point margin, but the starting line-up. Mike though has the team get a lift from the fans.” gradually moved his way higher and high- crowd starts to cheer and urge on their the points difference is not what counts. final say and it is a responsibility that sits All the team are, of course, keen for the er through the ranks of CURUFC to have friends and representatives, the team’s The trophy is all that matters. When the heavy on his shoulders: “It’s not something game but does it mean anything above now finally made it. Six years of rucking, desire will come through. The “early Light Blues take to the field there is only I’m looking forward to doing,” he says that for Mike Count as captain? “It’s the mauling, scrumming and God knows how Christmas present” that Mike Count one potential player who knows what it is with a rueful tone to his voice, “but it most important game of my life,” he much training and he is finally there – the speaks of will be delivered because the grit like to be part of that 15 who start the comes with the job and I’m ready to do it.” informs me with a glance up from his food pinnacle. Skippering the Blues isn’t some- of the Light Blues will tell. Booze and munchies VARSITY MATCHES

Chris Waiting checks out the post-match eating and drinking scene Cambridge Colleges XV v Thursday 2.30pm Oxford Colleges XV 29th November Grange Road I love the Varsity Match. Back when I was Patch, The Albany is more of a tradition- White Cross) and around the green (The a student at Richmond College, the al pub, but also offers the advantages of Cricketers). Cambridge U21 As v Tuesday 2.30pm Principal used to close the college for the giant Jenga, Connect 4 and an L-shaped If you’re looking to eat before the Oxford Whippets 4th December Grange Road day to turn the site into a giant car park, pool table. match, I cannot think of anywhere better since this would bring in far more money For the cheapest drinks, the Moon than Norma’s Diner. The breakfasts are Cambridge LXs v Wednesday 2.30pm than trying to educate us scruffy students. Under Water has to take the prize. Like all legendary, prices are good, and it’s only Oxford Greyhounds 5th December Iffley Road It is of course also an opportunity to Wetherspoon’s it is lacking in atmosphere, five minutes from the station. There are drink with your Cambridge mates outside but to be honest, that’s not why you go also the usual fast-food places and a small Cambridge U21s v Tuesday 11.00am Cambridge, and shout obscenities at stu- there. It’s also next door to the Patch. supermarket for those wanting something Oxford U21s 11th December Twickenham dents from that other university. So here Further along the road, you’ll find the light, plus a selection of restaurants for the are my suggestions for places to drink George (after passing Reunion Jacques – hungrier. Ken Hom’s Yellow River Café is Cambridge v Tuesday 2.00pm yourself into a stupor pre- or post-match. the self-styled “classiest bar in an excellent, if pricey Chinese and Pizza Oxford 11th December Twickenham Firstly The Cabbage Patch. Yes it’s Twickenham”) and the Hogshead. Both Express and the various Indian restaurants famous and always packed solid on rugby are typical chain pubs, so you’ll probably are exactly what you’d expect them to be days, but it’s not a bad place to go, if you know in advance whether you’ll like them like. Again, Richmond offers more variety don’t mind a 20-minute queue for the or not. Down by the river you’ll find the and will almost certainly be less crowded. bar. Prices are slightly above average, but Balmy Arms and, nearby, The Eel Pie and So enjoy the match, get drunk, and they normally organise a barbeque, it’s The Fox. All are pleasant places to drink, intimidate the locals by conforming to easy to find from the station/stadium and tend to be less crowded than the pubs every Cambridge stereotype. They won’t (just follow the crowds), and their closer to the stadium. Of course, if you mind too much, since they will already Guinness isn’t bad. I’d stop here for a cou- want to get further away from the crowds, have made a small fortune leasing out ple, before moving on. If you don’t feel you can always get the train or bus to their driveway/parking permit to those like moving far, just round the corner is Richmond, which has many great pubs desperate to find a space less than two Photo: Mike Hewitt/ Allsport The Albany. Slightly smaller than the particularly overlooking the river (The miles from the stadium. 23 November 2001 S4 AUDITIONS www.varsity.cam.ac.uk

auditions for 3rd week adc lateshow CU Gilbert & for Sullivan Society ‘spoonface announces steinberg’ AUDITIONS by lee hall FOR sat 24th nov 2-6pm sun 25th nov 2-4pm CANDIDE christ’s college by Leonard Bernstein new court gallery AND any questions please email natalie nla24 THE SORCERER by Gilbert & Sullivan The Fletcher Players To play in rep at Cambridge Arts Theatre, Fletcher Players & Shadwell Week 7, Lent Term. CUMTS announce We are auditioning for 2 separate casts: OOTLIGHTS announces F Smørgåsbord CANDIDE – are pleased to announce auditions for Ð 2002 Ð AUDITIONS AUDITIONS Sunday 25th November, 2–6 WRITERS and PERFORMERS For its Week 4, ADC Mainshow for week 3 mainshow Fifth Annual Founders Room, Arts Theatre for their 4 New and Exciting (St Edwards Passage Door) City of Angels Festival of New 2002 Spring Review Adaptations a jazzy 40s musical Writing for THE SORCERER – Saturday 24th and Sunday 25th Actors and Singers plus from Lorca, Carver, Gorey & Saturday 24th November, 3–6 the stage ADC THEATRE BAR – 2–6PM Dancers required Wyndham-Lewis Newnham Old Labs All enquiries to: (please bring something to sing if you’d like) at the Bring something to sing if you like Wanted: Lloyd (rlt28) and Stefan (sg300) Friday 23rd 12Ð6pm and Corpus Christi College Contact: Anna on [email protected] Saturday 24th 2Ð6pm SCRIPTS On the ADC Stage Sunday 25th 12Ð6pm Deadline: 23rd January PLAYROOM Benson Hall, Magdalene College To: A. Jones A high profile production to launch Outlook Productions the newly-refurbished, much-loved The Cambridge Contact Alex alc43 or Louise lcl20 Corpus Christi College. invite applications for studio theatre in front of prestigious Mummers Enquiries: Skye hsw21 alumni, with national press and invites applications from LIGHTING / CUMTS national theatre interest. also invites SOUND OPERATORS DIRECTORS Sat. 24th & Sun. 25th SCRIPT WRITERS APPLICATIONS for their national tour of: To be interviewed 12– 5 for a show to be A Midsummer Night’s Dream For Musicians, Assistant on the 1st and performed at the 2002 Musical Director and I6, CORPUS CONTACT this winter 2nd December. Edinburgh Fringe Technical Posts JO (JFP24) FOR INFORMATION Scripts to the ‘Mummers’ pigeonhole in the Contact: Ed (emdr2) or Contact Louise lcl20 E-MAIL ED: EJKL2 JUST TURN UP, NO EXPERIENCE NECESSARY! ADC Clubroom by Friday 18th January 2002 Rose (rs335) Contact: Michael Nabarro (man32) AS SOON AS POSSIBLE

The FEMALE AUDITIONS Anonymous Players MY MOTHER SAID I NEVER SHOULD invite A play by Charlotte Keatley APPLICATIONS a PLAYROOM lent term show to DIRECT a Lent Term show AUDITIONS ON: in the Old Labs. Saturday 24th 5Ð7pm + We also invite Sunday 25th 11Ð3pm APPLICATIONS In the Godwin Room, for funding. Old Court, Clare College Applications to:Anna Jones (agj23) Newnham College by 29.11.2001 Contact: Jess jjr31

THE MARLOWE SOCIETY invites / RSC Other Prize APPLICATIONS Invites entries of new, unperformed plays. The prize includes: for the post of £750, your script workshopped CREATIVE DIRECTOR with the RSC and produced by for a new series of play readings/ The Marlowe Society workshops of new writing pieces The John Kinsella / E-mail: cal36 for details – by 27th November Tracy Ryan Poetry Prize of this term. Deadline for listings of this term. Deadline Entry is open for an unpublished poem Pembroke Players of up to 500 lines Invite auditions for week 3, mainshow The prize includes: SEXUAL PERVERSITY IN CHICAGO £750 and publication in the BY DAVID MAMET international journal, Salt. and late show FOR MORE DETAILS: THE MASSACRE AT PARIS www.english.cam.ac.uk BY CHRISTOPHER MARLOWE or contact: Pembroke New Cellars General Office, English Faculty Saturday 24th, 2–6pm & DEADLINES: Sunday 25th, 2–6pm End of Lent Term 2002

All box-ads must be booked by 3pm on Monday and box-ads for the first issue of next term is Jan 14th for the first issue of next term is Jan and box-ads This is the last Varsity before publication. Prices from £20 23 November 2001 www.varsity.cam.ac.uk LISTINGS 15

• CU Jewish Society: ‘The Minims’ – • Queens’ Films: Blade. Queens’ TUESDAY 27 new singing group with fun and WEDNESDAY 28 College, Fitzpatrick Hall. 10:30pm. FRIDAY 30 diverse music. Culanu Centre, 33 £1.50. The Nightmare Before FILM Bridge Street, More info: jmr53. 7pm. FILM Christmas. 8pm. £1.50. Queens’ MISC • ARTS: 1.00, 4.00, 9.00: Harry • ISIS: Prokofiev – Peter and the • ARTS: 2.00, 5.00, 8.00: Harry College, Fitzpatrick Hall. • CU Jewish Society: ‘Friday Night Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone Wolf, Debussy, Falla, Ibert. Jesus Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone Experience’ – meal + entertainment, (PG). 7.10: Ghostworld (15) – no College, Chapel. 8pm. £5 (£4) from (PG). 2.00, 8.15: Apocalypse Now MISC followed by Culanu Oneg. The trailers! 2.00, 8.15: Apocalypse Arts Box Office (01223) 503333 or Redux (15). 6.20: Bunuel Season: • CU Ballet Club: ‘Beginners’ Ballet Student Centre, 3 Thompsons Lane. Now Redux (15). 6.20: The on the door. The Criminal Life Of Archibaldo De Class. Queens’ College, Fitzpatrick 7:30pm. Exterminating Angel (12). 1.30: The • Junction CDC: Pandhora: stunning La Cruz (15). 4.50, 7.10, 9.30: Hall. 7pm. £1.50. • Queens’ Ents: Jingles – Happy Cherry Orchard (PG). 4.50: blues and rock singer. Support: Ghost World (15). • CU Ballet Club: Beginners Classes. 10th Birthday! Once you bop, you Ghostworld (15). 9.15: Donnie Calling Orson. The Junction. 8pm. • Churchill MCR Film Soc: Pearl (both at the same level). Classes last just can’t stop! Queens’ College, Brasco (18). £3/4. Harbor (no late show). Churchill one hour. Queens’ College, Bowett Fitzpatrick Hall. 9pm. £4. • Corpus Christi College Pictures: • The Cheese Factory Jam Sessions: College, Wolfson Hall. 8pm. £2. Room. 6pm. £1.50. • Salsa Classes with Nelson The Lady Vanishes (original). Jazz/Funk Jam session. Local • Peterhouse Films: Casablanca (U). • CU Jewish Society: ‘Lunch and Batista: www.cambridgesalsa.com McCrum Theatre, Benet Street. 8pm. session/professionals and students Shown in fixed-seat auditorium, with Learn’ – free bagel lunch and great Abs beg/imp: 6-7.30pm. Int/adv: £2. jam night. The Man On The Moon, fullsize cinema screen. Peterhouse, discussion. King’s College, Chetwynd 7.30-9pm. St Columba’s Hall. 4 See www.thecheesefactory.co.uk. Peterhouse Theatre. 8pm. £1.50. Room, More info: jmr53. 1pm. Downing Place (opp Crowne Plaza). MISC 8:30pm. only £2 (£1 for players). • CU Judo Club: Beginners session. 6pm. £5 (£4 students). • CU Ballet Club: ‘Improvers’ Ballet MISC First session free. Please wear strong Class. Queens’ College, Fitzpatrick TALK • cu yoga society: Ivengar Yoga with long-sleeved top. Fenner’s Gym. 8pm. MUSIC Hall. 6pm. £1.50. • Geoffrey Coombe and friends Nancy. Corpus Christi College, Party • cu yoga society: Ivengar Yoga with • Junction CDC: Boogie • CU Ballet Club: Jazz Dance Class present Jazz record listening Room. 5.15pm & 7pm. £3.50 or Yvonne. Trinity Burrell’s Field, Butler Wonderland: 70s and 80s disco — beginners level. Kelsey Kerridge, sessions: The sax: Jazz Cinderella. termcard for 4 sessions for £10. House Party Room. 6pm. £3.50, or extravaganza. The Junction. 10pm. (+£2.25 entrance to KK). 8pm. £1. Lecture Room 3, Music Faculty. termcard (4 sessions) for £10. £3.50 b4 11 door/5.50 adv or • CU Judo Club: Senior graded 7:30pm. £5 (£4 conc). MUSIC • Greek Dance Classes: Come have after 11. session. Fenner’s Gym. 8pm. • Inter-Disciplinary Group, Faculty • Emmanuel College Music Society: fun by learning to Greek dance! • Kettle’s Yard Music: Lunchtime • cu yoga society: Ivengar Yoga with of Divinity: George Pattison. Michaelmas Term Concert. Featuring Darwin College, Common Room. recital by students. Kettle’s Yard. Pavara. Pembroke College, New “Balancing Disciplines: Unbalancing works by Handel, Schubert and 5pm. £15 /term or £2/class. 1:10pm. Cellars. 7pm. £3.50 or termcard (4 Disciplines”. Philosophy and Rachmaninov. Emmanuel College, sessions) for £10. Theology, Reception. Faculty of Old Library. 8pm. MUSIC THEATRE • cu yoga society: Ivengar Yoga with Divinity, Lightfoot Room. 4:30pm. • Junction CDC: Napalm Death: • Kettle’s Yard Music: Subscription • JCDS: Retail Rock – comedy Yvonne. Pembroke College, New • Operation Wallacea: Slide Enemies of the Music Business here to Concert : chamber music in the musical set in world of handbag Cellars. 5:15pm. £3.50 or termcard presentation on opportunities to join rock. The Junction. 8pm. £8/9. beautiful setting of Kettle’s Yard retail. ADC Theatre. 11pm. £3. (4 sessions) for £10. exciting expeditions to Sulawesi. St House. Kettle’s Yard. 8pm. £8.50 per • Junction CDC: Meat & Two Veg: • CUTAZZ: Beginners jazz classes. Catharine’s College. 8pm. TALK term, £20 per year. Twelfth Night with skiffle and tea. Emmanuel United Reformed Church, • CU Sikh Society: The Philosophy of • Retro Electro: evening of classic The Cambridge Drama Centre, Church Hall. 7pm. £2.50. THEATRE Guru Nanak. Robinson College, and contemporary electronica, synth, Covent Garden, Mill Road. 8pm. • CUTAZZ: Intermediate/Advanced • ADC Footlights: Inspired silliness! Robinson Auditorium. 7pm. indie, sixties. Q Club, Corner Hills £5.50 disc. jazz classes. Emmanuel United The ADC Footlights Pantomime 2001 Road and Station Road. 9pm. £2.50 • Outlook Productions: A Reformed Church, Church Hall. 8pm. “The Scarlet Pimpernel”. ADC THEATRE before 11pm. Midsummer Night’s Dream: Prior to £2.50. Theatre, Advance Tickets 01223 503 • ADC Footlights: Inspired silliness! a national tour. ‘An extremely • The Globe Cafe: For international 333. 7:45pm. The ADC Footlights Pantomime 2001 TALK exciting theatre company’ students,relaxed and informal chat, • Footlights: Smoker. Fantastic late “The Scarlet Pimpernel”. ADC • Kettle’s Yard: Lunchtime talk about (Telegraph). St John’s College, The coffee, cakes. Emmanuel College, night comedy1 “Intensely entertaining Theatre, Advance Tickets 01223 503 the current exhibition or a work of art School of Pythagoras. 8pm. £6/£5 O6 New Court. 7pm. … unhyped excellence!” (Varsity). 333. 7:45pm. in the house. Kettle’s Yard. 1:10pm. ADC Theatre. 11pm. £3.50. • JCDS: Retail Rock – comedy • PdOC (Post-docs of Cambridge): MUSIC • Outlook Productions: A Midsummer musical set in world of handbag Opportunities for Post-docs in the CLASSIFIED • Club Africa: Cools sounds to Night’s Dream: Prior to a national retail. ADC Theatre. 11pm. £3. banking industry (Doug Huggins, dance to from around the continent. tour. ‘An extremely exciting theatre • Outlook Productions: A ABM-AMRO). University Centre, 12 Devonshire Arms, Devonshire Road. company’ (Telegraph). St John’s Midsummer Night’s Dream: Prior to a Mill Lane, Room 1. 6pm. • Play Guitar – Play Saxophone! 8pm. £2. School of Pythagoras. 8pm. £6/£5. national tour. ‘An extremely exciting FREE consultation theatre company’ (Telegraph). St THEATRE Call 365276 or e-mail: John’s College, The School of • JCDS: Retail Rock – comedy [email protected] Pythagoras. 8pm. £6/£5. musical set in world of handbag Need Jazzy ambience or Jazz retail. ADC Theatre. 11pm. £3. moods for dancing? • Outlook Productions: A www.jazzam.fsnet.co.uk THURSDAY 29 Midsummer Night’s Dream: Prior to a national tour. ‘An extremely exciting •Volunteers Needed to Work in theatre company’ (Telegraph). St Africa Immediate Positions Available FILM John’s College, The School of with Humana People to People • ARTS: 2.00, 5.00, 8.00: Harry Pythagoras. 8pm. £6/£5. Teach street children•Build schools Potter And The Philosopher’s Stone • Show and Tell: Mix of everything & latrines•HIV/AIDS prevention• (PG). 12.15, 4.15, 8.15: Apocalypse live on stage- bands, guests, Environmental projects Now Redux (15). 6.00: Michael previews, more … Emmanuel 4-6 months training in Norway, Eaton Industry Focus. 1.00, 3.30, College, Queen’s Building. 8pm & Denmark & USA. Scholarships 7.10, 9.30: Ghost World (15). 10pm. 8pm. £3. available. Call: 0045 24 63 54 84 [email protected] www.tvindrh.dk www.kettlesyard.cam.ac.uk/students Hobbs Pavilion Christ’s Films RESTAURANT Sunday 25th November 8pm & 10.30pm Parkers Piece SHREK 01223 367480 KETTLE'S YARD New Court Theatre, Christ’s GALLERY & HOUSE 15% NUS £2 inc. raffle for wine Contemporary art exhibitions, talks, music, 20th century art discount The best sandwiches www.christs.cam.ac.uk/cfilms/ and objects. Come up for air, headspace An excellent Mediterranean menu

and daylight. www.kettlesyard.cam.ac.uk/students freshly prepared every day, a in Cambridge special vegetarian and vegan menu available, a comprehensive wine list and if you love coffee, STUDENTS’ STORAGE and attentive service all within its PROBLEMS SOLVED unique location in Cambridge. then you’ll love O’Brien’s Private parties welcome. Special rates to bona fide students (please bring proof) of £7.50 per What others say about us: week plus VAT for the storage of 6/8 boxes “Excellent” – FHM Goods have to be boxed and clearly labelled with name and address/college “Quality food, the breadth of Collection/delivery to or from a Cambridge address can be arranged choice is tantalising” – The 43 Regent St. 6 St. Edward’s Passage For further information please contact Peter or Brian at Guardian Cambridge Storage Ð 01223 365245 “A textbook display of fine Cambridge Arts Theatre cooking” – Varsity MEMBER OF THE SELF STORAGE ASSOCIATION UK Ð EUROPE “Wonderful” – Customer’s letter outlook interview 23 November 2001 16 fashion science www.varsity.cam.ac.uk focus AND THE SEX, LIES, HAMILTONS The notoriously irreverent media couple talk to the notoriously irreverent Varsity Editor, Adam Joseph eil and Christine to continue, as the cash-for-ques- and a blot on society.” Neil son.” However, “undoubtedly the with a bottle of wine and glasses. Perhaps this is one of the most Hamilton are media tions row led to him losing his Hamilton is however prepared to tide will turn, although it may be Would you snog him? I enquire. annoying things about the Nwhores. Abused and seat in disgrace in the 1997 gen- support Al Fayed’s application for a long and hard road for the “Of course,” she exclaims. Brier Hamiltons: they should be disil- beaten up by the press, they can’t eral election. He was unseated by a passport, “so long as it is for Tories”. is, possibly for the first time in his lusioned with society, instead they survive without the media the anti-sleaze candidate Martin another country”. The couple has The Hamiltons are now very life, lost for words, but Christine have a banal cheerfulness about appearance fees. They are stuck in Bell and his famous white suit. also been banned from Harrods, pleased to be out of politics. is enjoying herself. “One of the them. They enjoy feeding from a Catch 22, where they are Hamilton’s expulsion from Tory great joys about being a happily the hand that has already bitten dependent on the people who politics was confirmed when, in “Anne Widdecombe has more married woman is that you can them. have in many respects ruined 1998, Tory leader William Hague flirt outrageously and nobody Finally the time was up: the their life. Worst of all, they are singled Hamilton out as one of balls than the whole cabinet and takes you seriously.” Quite. Hamiltons had to go to bed early outwardly cheerful about the the MPs who had brought the The Hamiltons are certainly not as they had to be ready to present whole thing. While interviewing party into disrepute, and asked shadow cabinet put together.” shy of publicity. According to the Big Breakfast at 4am. This them in the Union I was struck him to stay away from that year’s Neil Hamilton the media world typifies their life: they have by how sad the whole affair was; Conservative conference. not that they have “any desire to According to Christine “is now largely the way we make become C-list celebrities going in fact Neil and Christine Hamilton is in no doubt as to go to that souk”. Al Fayed’s Hamilton, she has become “one our living”. He adds, “We are wherever the next media cheque Hamilton are sad people. who is to blame, even advising us lawyer, James Price, comes in for of the 98% of the population going to be on the Louis Theroux sends them. Their downfall was Neil Hamilton never achieved to look at the website, guardian- even more stick. Christine who doesn’t give a damn about programme and also look out for admittedly of their own making, truly high office in government. lies.com. Much of his anger Hamilton refused to speak at the politics and that by the way the January issue of GQ maga- but two people with no choice Having entered Parliament in though is saved for Mohammed Union if he was also invited, as includes Tony Blair!” Christine in zine.” Posing for GQ magazine other than to make their money “she had no intention whatsoever particular is very disparaging and getting the piss ripped out by ridiculing themselves is not an “Mohammed Al Fayed is a crook of of sharing a room with an odious about the current load of politi- of them by Theroux: they have edifying sight. After starting with little shit like him”. So not exact- cians: “The shadow cabinet and truly fallen a long way. Neil high aspirations, Hamilton is the first order and a blot on society.” ly cordial feelings for the man cabinet went down in the balls Hamilton seems positive, howev- aware of his place in history: “I who is alleged to have paid £3600 stakes when they got rid of Mo er, about his new life: “We have will probably be some footnote to 1983 as MP for Tatton, he rose Al Fayed: “after all the Court of for them to spend six nights at his Mowlam and Anne Widde- certainly met a wider variety of a chapter, and possibly in twenty through the ranks to become a Appeal found that he had paid a hotel, the Ritz! combe. Anne Widdecombe has people in media than in politics.” years some PhD student from a government whip and corporate thief for legal documents to be Neil Hamilton is more positive more balls than the whole cabinet Christine agrees: “We enjoy all Midwestern state will do a disser- affairs minister. He did have stolen from our lawyers”. So about the current war in and shadow cabinet put togeth- dreams of leading the would you stop for him if he were Afghanistan. “I think the West’s er.” Would you snog the Union Conservative party: “Nobody but crossing the road? “Well I would policy has been absolutely right, Christine is certainly much a fool goes into politics without certainly make sure that I was and paid off a lot more quickly more of a live wire than Neil. She President? I enquire. “Of course” wanting to realise that ambition, driving a robust enough vehicle than most people thought.” He is is an unashamed extrovert and a if he wants to make changes.” so that I would not sustain any pleased with the close co-opera- tough-talking woman: “I am a she exclaims. Hamilton had a “clear agenda of substantial damage to the thing tion between Britain and self-proclaimed battle-axe and my own”, and felt that he had that really mattered… He is a America: “Britain has proved battle-axes don’t debate… A bat- the media work, we certainly tation on me.” Their hopes and made a start “disman- crook of the first itself to be America’s most reliable tle-axe is a woman with balls, it meet a jollier sort of person than their integrity disappeared when tling the moun- order ally, just as America has proved means you stand up for what you we did in politics.” they first met with Al Fayed and tain of red itself on many occasions to be believe in.” She disagrees when it his cash-filled envelopes. A tape”. There Britain’s.” Neil Hamilton’s is put to her that she wears the footnote in history was no feelings for Tony Blair, trousers in their marriage: “It is a is now the best chance and the Labour govern- marriage of equals, but I can see they can hope ment in general, are where people get it from. It all for. less than flattering. started when I confronted “Blair is the apotheosis Martin Bell; I am the loud one, of spin, has absolutely the noisy one, more extrovert no political principles, in a way than Neil: he is the is the ultimate political strong silent type.” She is chameleon.” He feels also surprisingly, and wor- that the movement of the ryingly, flirtatious. centre ground to the right When I asked her has made it much more whether she would difficult for the repeat her actions in Conservatives: “The gov- Oxford and pull a stu- ernment is the most right- dent, she certainly does wing we have seen for not rule out the possibil- years, certainly more right- ity: “A young man at wing than Thatcher… you OUCA (Oxford can’t outbid the Labour University Conservative party to the right.” His Association) had the views on Iain Duncan Smith good sense to ask me are mixed: “He is not exactly for a kiss, what is the most exciting commodity, wrong with that?” but the difference between him Opportunely, at that and Blair is that he is funda- very moment the Union mentally a thoroughly decent, President, Jeremy Brier uncalculating, honest was passing by, per- A varsityarts

This picture is not an accident. It has not been put here for your gratification. Tim Stanley did not choose it. Tell the children to come out from behind the sofa. Reassure your grandmother. Put your trousers back on. This picture is not a gimp in leather. It may look like a twisted little freak bound up until his pips squeak, but it’s not. Not entirely, anyway. This picture is a view of Cambridge theatre in all of its glory. The theatre world is a mass of whores, with every person out to sell themselves for another’s pleasure. But in Cambridge, our whores are twisted. Real twisted, yeah. Like the gimp, they are bound to the chair of mediocrity by the fetters of their own ego. Cambridge theatre is just a colossal exercise in sado- masochism. We pay to see Cambridge productions. We pay for our pleasure. It hurts. We just want something simple. Nothing special. Quick, easy and, if possible, clean. Unfortunately, this bitch isn’t having any of it. We have to be bound in tight to our seats and subject- ed to horrible torture while they prance around in front of us. There is no concern for our delectation: all that is important is feeling big. Real big. Sarah Legrand and Alex Lee 23 November 2001 A www.varsity.cam.ac.uk ARTSMUSIC 23

Messieurs Oxide and Neutrino, the As you step into the bar, the beat hits. As avid cultivators of a brooding guitar Refreshingly, Peppercorn has all the Along with driving Rolls Royces into proverbial two fingers waved in the gen- It is smoking R’n’B. The place is jam- pop, Muse epitomise provincial angst confidence of an eminent precursor, swimming pools, selling your soul eral direction of Craig David, Artful ming as kinky afros and urban queens hitting the big time. From this particu- Alanis Morisette, yet none of her exas- for rock n’ roll is mandatory. Dodger et al., are b-da-b-da-back, and groove to the rhythm that is filling larly unremarkable double a-side (pro- perating arrogance! Free Love is an exha- However, defying convention, have evolved a mode of phonetic txt msg their pants and teasing out their soul. duced by John Leckie – Radiohead, lation of clear air; imbued with spirit Delirious? have gone and flogged spelling that Noddy Holder would be On the stage is Missy Elliot, humming Stone Roses), pours an endless stream of and potency, but minus the angst that their souls to God, offering conclu- proud of. Since the release of Execute, the with a soft gospel power. Aggressively bleak introspective sentiment. Feeling so often renders such music morose, or sive proof if ever you needed it, that teenage duo’s acclaimed overground- feminine. Good, written by Bricusse and Newley worse, melodramatic. the devil really does have all the good underground (wombling free?) debut The pendulum bass mesmerises the for a 60s musical, and popularised by A thoroughly modern songstress, this tunes. album, Oxide has achieved on U sea of heads, as this diva on top guides Nina Simone, is joy-ridden through deadlocked beauty is the lyrical equiva- Five desperately earnest and Can’t… a quality and clarity of produc- them through the contents of her mediocrity with a profound lack of lent of Zadie Smith. Each track is a healthy looking individuals mas- tion – all sparse beats, keyboard stabs, heart, an empowered statement about charisma; the song’s winding melody vignette of contemporary life, circum- querading under the wholesome and gurgling bass lines – that a number independent women,,, As she seduces tragically rendered in bum falsetto by stance and love’s deviant ways, but all banner of Christian rock, Delirious? of more renowned knob-twiddlers the crowd, Tim ‘Timbaland’ Mosley vocalist Matt Bellamy. Thom Yorke and exude a sense of her liberty; Peppercorn come across like trendy vicars des- would die for. And they probably will, if stands at the back, silently directing Jeff Buckley comparisons aside, magic has conceived her music not contrived perately trying to be down with the Neutrino and his fellow So Solid MCs this soulful exposition. Together they mushrooms (his favourite drug) are it. kids and intent on proving that have their way. They’re angry, and seem have been known for breaking up old wasted on people like this. Hyper Music Born in Casablanca, Peppercorn’s life being a Christian doesn’t stop you in little hurry to disassociate themselves ground to etch a new groove. is simply bad poetry and serrated jerk- was far from romantic – it is this peddling sub-Coldplay stadium from their glamorised history of gun vio- Yet this latest single Take Away is guitar woven into muddied commotion, assured, tough style that suffuses an indie drivel. lence. Neutrino rants about his recent lazy, ordered from the back catalogue and a cover of The Smiths Please Please album of perky hooks and vivid lyrics. I could sing of your love forever, judicial dealings. Gold-digging hangers- of soul, rather than cooked up by their Please Let Me Get What I Want on CD 2 Hyperventilating is a brilliant para- resplendent with its gospel choir and on are warned to “go blow” or find own creative hands. Maybe the bar is only partly redeeming. In all, Feeling digm of acoustic soul-rock and to err is epic chorus is scarily reminiscent of themselves “in a box, flowers spellin’ ya next door is playing something more Good / Hyper Space – the band’s fourth human proves that Peppercorn’s Cliff Richard’s Mistletoe and Wine, name on top”. Even S-Club 7 and Five interesting. single from album Origin Of Symmetry – melodies have all the gravitas of Tracy only worse. They may well be able to don’t escape the wrath. The music may offers an emotional ferris wheel of a ride. Chapman and the effervescence of sing of Jesus’ love forever, but 3 and be So Solid, but the morals are certainly Hold on tight or you might drop your Erika Badu. “I have no intention to half minutes of this quasi-spiritual not. Come on, boys. Grow up. lollipop. bow to convention”. shite really is quite enough.

Oxide and Neutrino Missy ‘misdemeanor’ Elliott Muse Peppercorn Delirious? U Can’t Stop Dis Shit (Warner) Take Away (Warner) Hyper Music (Mushroom) Free Love (BMG) I Could Sing of Your Love Forever Out 26 November Out 26 November Out Now Out 26 November Out 10 December MARTIN HEMMING MARTHA HOUSDEN GRAHAM HERTRICH AISLING O’NEILL JIM HINKS PREVIEWS

GIVE A LITTLE WHISTLE hristmas is coming, the under- graduates are getting fat, Alex Marshall whistles on the streets of Cambridge and annoys the hell out of everyone CFather Christmas is coming and he’s got a big bag of musical treats Stop it, you annoying little shit” ignore them and carry on, not assault for those of you who are in shouted a fat-bloke with thin lips. them. I admit whistling’s got an anti- Cambridge over the break. Too much “I looked for a 4-year old poking quated, Dick Van Dyke, image. It to preview, not enough space, so just him, but not seeing one carried on symbolises stupefying cheeriness total- the bare essentials for the bigger ven- walking until he punched me in the ly opposed to our cynical times, espe- ues. mouth; “stop fucking whistling.” cially true given its high-pitched The Good: Pulp let us party like What do people have against one of nature which means you could whistle it’s 1995 at the Corn Exchange on my favourite past-times? I’ve always Radiohead and still sound like you’ve Tuesday; Basement Jaxx party like whistled. It’s become an involuntary ODed on Saccharine. It’s also been it’s 2001 at the same venue the fol- appendage of walking – to the toilet, tarnished by the fact its greatest advo- lowing Tuesday. to lectures… Wherever I go my own cate is an insect who befriends pup- The Bland: Status Quo refuse to blend of atonal, execrable and pets and sees it as the cure to immoral- give up and die at the Corn unmelodic jazz will fill the air. The ity (‘Take the straight and narrow path Exchange on Sunday 2nd muted squeal of a full-volume / And if you start to Slide / Give a lit- December; Delerious? do their bit Walkman just isn’t enough to let me tle Whistle!’). It may even be a potent to reinforce Christian stereotypes at spread the music that has such an symbol of female and sheep dog the Junction on Wednesday 5th invigorating effect on my life to the oppression. But think of the good December; Paul Weller bores for masses. Admittedly, the tunes I’m pay- points. To be honest, aside from the England on the same night at the ing homage to may be a bit difficult to fact it’s quite uplifting and it fulfils my Corn Exchange; Wheatus look pick out at times, surrounded as they musical ambitions to the extent that I foolish at the Corn Exchange on are by improvised yelps worthy of haven’t formed a band yet, there aren’t Tuesday 6th December; and Coltrane at his most diffuse; but I’m any. Regardless, it still begs to be Faithless also play at – you guessed sure the sound in some way is getting answered, what’s intrinsically wrong it – the Corn Exchange on Monday through. I could, of course, achieve about putting your lips together and 10th December. my little mission more easily by walk- blowing? The Ugly: Napalm Death do their ing around with a Ghetto Blaster Thus I plead for more whistling in best to upset people and keep the strapped to my back, but unless I was our society. Partially its absence can be environmental health officers in in the Gap, I’d just get accused of blamed on the musical community. If work at the Junction on being ‘soooo 80’s, soooo passé.’ only they’d see its instrumental poten- Wednesday. I don’t see why whistling is viewed as tial they could redefine its image into The Best Bit: Saturday 5th such a social menace or why it’s one of cool. It’s not that hard to envi- January sees S Club Party and become such a social pariah. It’s heard sion, after all, theramins feature in so Ronan come to the Corn Exchange. about as often in public as Cherie many records, yet they’re effectively We’re almost certain this isn’t a Blair. I mean talking on cordless nothing more than the whistle in elec- hoax, and what better excuse for mobile phones like a jabbering schizo- tronic form. If bands would popu- coming up early could you want phrenic, singing at bus-stops in the larise it maybe we, the whistling fra- than the chance of seeing one of the hope of getting a record deal, wearing ternity, wouldn’t feel so alone in the most evil men in modern pop and pre-faded jeans – many such things world. Come on people, I’ve been some brightly-dressed clowns? annoy me about other people when I forced into hanging out on building The boy that lived stroll down the street, but I simply sites… “Try Whistling this!” 23 November 2001 24 ARTSCLASSICAL www.varsity.cam.ac.uk A PREVIEWS Friday 23 November A challenging screw BRITTEN@25 – Chamber Music Masterpieces, Jesus Chapel, 8pm, £3 Joseph Finlay is impressed by the madness of another example of Cambridge ambition student stand-by on the door. The Britten Sinfonia Soloists play a selec- eople do crazy things in by the composer as “the big slushy aria”) pered by the set which lacked the lacking in the large opera houses. There tion of Britten’s Chamber music. Cambridge. Some decide to go which uses cluster harmonies to create a required claustrobia of a Victorian were problems: the acoustic lead to the Prowing at 7am on freezing winter real sense of modernist lyricism, to con- house. This was compensated for by singers sometimes being overpowered in Downing College Music Society, mornings while others spend all night trast with the brilliant mechanistic some extremely creative lighting and a the Frances-Hoad, the possibilities for Downing Chapel, 8pm, £5/2. Music doing an essay well when it could have rhythms of the final act. The sparse, level of acting which put to shame the set design being extremely limited and by Beethoven, Mozart and Britten, been done badly in two hours. minimalist setting was extremely suc- awkward gestures and bizarre facial large proportions of the audience hav- featuring Leona Tan (piano). Musicians demonstrate this craziness by cessful, and all three singers handled the expressions of so many opera compa- ing restriced views. Despite these prob- embarking on ridiculously large proj- music extremely well, with special cred- nies. lems, the Cambridge New Opera Group ects that professionals would think twice it going to the excellent John Saunders. The venue of St Edwards Church was put on a production that was slick, Saturday 24 November about. We’ve had Mahler in Jesus The Turn of the Screw was in a sense a strangely appropriate – it brought a beautiful and charming, and has set the BRITTEN@25 – Study Day, Music Chapel, the fiendishly difficult Company’ bigger challenge, being a known and sense of intimacy that is so obviously standard for all insane projects to come. Faculty, 10am-4pm, free. Lectures at the ADC, and KCMS are still talking loved work, with much of and seminars to round up the festi- about doing the Berio Sinfonia. Putting the ‘Britten mafia’ in the val with performances by on a full length opera with semi profes- audience – the contingent Instrumental Award Holders. sional singers plus a newly commis- having taken a such sioned work however, takes the biscuit, delight in this festival. Gonville and Caius Recital Series, and I would have to suggest that both The quality of the singers Bateman Auditorium, 1.15pm, free. the conductor (Matilda Hofman) and was apparent from the Schubert’s Rosamunde performed by the producer (Rachel Solomon- outset. Cerys Jones as Mrs Owen Cox, Martin Suckling, Williams) are completely mad. Grose and Bria Lauren as Andrew Griffiths and Sophie Rivlin. The new work, Cheryl-Frances the Governess were the Hoad’s Broken Lines is a delight. best of a superb cast, and BRITTEN@25 – CUCO and Subtitled ‘a sonata for opera’ it takes Louise Kateck as Flora Choir, Great St. Mary’s Church, three unrelated Pinter sketches and demonstrated just how to 8pm, £3 student stand-by. Grant brings them together in the form of a make a big impression Llewelyn conducts music by Britten, three-movement sonata. The link with a small part. The Holloway and Mozart, plus a festival between them is simply that all three large amount of rehearsal tribute by Tom Poster. show people unable to communicate time was immediately with each other. In performance the apparent: Matilda work seems to sit on the fence between Hofman was able to Tuesday 27 November being a dramatic unity and being dis- shape the phrasing ISIS Christmas Concert, Jesus tinct movements, and is not dramatical- throughout, and brought Chapel, 8pm. Debussy, Ibert, De ly convincing. Musically, however, out fine orchestral playing Falla and Prokofiev’s Peter and the Broken Lines is extremely effective with from an ensemble that Wolf narrated by Rohan Stuart- assured and original orchestral writing, was tight, focused and MacDonald and conducted by sharp rhythmic vocal lines and a sound always played extremely Stephen Rajam. world that both fits the text and sheds musically. The staging BW new light on it. Particularly impressive is was generally excellent, the second scene love song (described although slightly ham- ARTSVISUAL A

ture, northern but don’t forget, ‘Some of the studies have art with that of details added in watercolour, others are Italy. We see highly finished watercolours.’ Well, that the influence of we can also see by looking at the works. medieval The general public doesn’t really need to French art on have such an obvious description of what Pisanello’s work is in front of their noses. This just demon- almost straight strates a general dumbing down that away. However, many institutions have begun to incorpo- Pisanello, Gonzaga Margherita the curators rate into their shows. There is a difference seem to have between making work accessible to a been attempt- wider audience and treating people like ing to recreate morons. The team of curators at the what was National Gallery seems to be treading a achieved with fine line. The most beautiful works are Renaissance small, some in fact are miniatures painted Florence, by by the artist, such as the exquisite splitting the Conversation of Saint Paul (c.1438). Even rooms into the portrait of Margherita Gonzaga themes; cultur- (1440) is relatively small, making the al, historical quality of the detail all the more astonish- ing. Perhaps if the exhibition space had and so on, to Flowers Pisanello give a good idea been in closer relation to the size of of context to Pisanello’s work, it would have shined the Leila Beydoun Chalabi at Emmanuel College The Renaissance (continued) at the NG the artist’s way it ought to have done. Instead, we he National Gallery is apparently work. However, the formula that worked descend into a basement full of things, ast week Emmanuel College saw visiting artists, and that the majority of having a ‘Renaissance Autumn’. so well before seems only to be a luke- and it becomes a task just to locate the the Beirut-born artist Leila students often overlook these smaller TWell, it seems to me, they have warm attempt this time. When the work works amongst the odds and ends. LBeydoun Chalabi exhibiting exhibitions. Emmanuel College along been having a Renaissance year, if not was diverse, creating a rich collection, this The moment that did stand out from works from her “Parcour des Saisons” with others such as St John’s, Jesus and attempting a decade. There doesn’t seem idea of establishing themes worked well, my visit to the gallery, was when I left the series of flower paintings. A stark con- Clare, take an avid interest in both col- to have been much progress since the but in addressing just one artist, perhaps Sainsbury Wing, a little disheartened, and trast to the Old Library’s ancient wood lecting and exhibiting artists within col- admittedly wonderful Renaissance the emphasis ought to have been more fit- decided to take a look around the rest of panelling, these bright multi-coloured lege walls. Chalabi’s works presented a Florence exhibition back in 1999. They ting, more definitive. the permanent collection. It was only works recall for Leila the smells and fresh approach to the traditional genre seem to have found a niche, in which they The rooms are filled with bits and then that I realised the amazing quality of colours that she attributes to her youth of flower painting, which, moving away feel comfortable, feeding the less well- pieces, sketches and studies, to add a bit the works that make up this National in Lebanon. The strong sensuality of from a concentration on British artists, known Italian quatrocento painters to an more bulk to Pisanello’s small-scale work,. treasure. In some ways, these exhibitions some of the paintings in comparison reflected a more continental feel against unassuming public. However, whether it Many of the comments, in my opinion, in the basement serve to reveal works that with the black and white studies of a the old Cambridge architecture. Such an is possible to hang an entire exhibition on were just space fillers, something that tend to go otherwise unnoticed by the smaller size, created a full body of work opportunity passed by almost unno- the basis of three or four paintings appears to be a lasting impression of the masses. It is certainly a worthy effort, from this artist who has exhibited sever- ticed, but brings to light these hidden remains a question. show. Such a big space for so little materi- except I think they ought to find a new al times in Paris, but never before in treasures. Pisanello is no doubt an extremely al. Comments like ‘Pisanello made studies formula. Renaissance is all becoming a lit- England. Unfortunately, the exhibition For more information on future exhi- important figure of the period, influenc- from life specifically for the work.’ You tle New Labour for me. was only on show for a few days, but bitions, please contact individual col- ing many later artists, as well as highlight- don’t say? Isn’t that what artists tend to do highlights the fact that Colleges within leges. ing the importance placed on cross-cul- when working towards a painting? Ah yes, Pisanello at the National Gallery Cambridge University often play host to Vanessa Hodgkinson 23 November 2001 A www.varsity.cam.ac.uk ARTSLITERATURE 25 Patten’s giant success Cam creative Emily Haworth-Booth loses her high heels to read a few fairy tales What to write for over the Christmas holidays wanted to review Isabel Allende’s new their dreams. On the night on which the authoritative and gently cadenced tones of rollnecks torn to shreds – all because book, but I knew that a substantial book is set, he brings together four chil- Wilde’s fairy stories than the craziness of Cellar Door nobody was around to advise construc- Inovel would be death to my degree. dren from different corners of the world. Dahl’s vocabulary; the book’s ending is Cellar Door, according to the press tively. A comma is misdeployed; the Then I spotted Brian Patten’s new chil- In his castle, they tell each other stories, accordingly serious. Patten is slightly release, wants “to motivate people to plot distantly nonsensical; the reader- dren’s book, The Story Giant. It looked moralising here, consciously trying to ‘act’ by writing, and in consequence to ship, in the light of day, perhaps unassuming, friendly, and a little bit cute. prove the value of storytelling and to teach provoke similar ‘active’ responses from unready for that dwarf copulation I was sure I could find room in my life for us to use our imaginations. The book those who read it: satire, comment, a episode. it, especially when it was pointed out to could fall flat at this point. Fortunately, philosophical treatise, or a collection of Cambridge’s publications (bar the me that, as it was really just a collection of however, he avoids patronising his adult limericks.” Info: [email protected]. Mays) mainly have editorial policies stories, I could read some of them at ran- readership and instead creates a convinc- which emphasise the absence of the edi- dom and review it on the basis of those. ing and moving conclusion that I found tor. There are reasons for this – it min- And it was indeed a collection of stories. genuinely thought-provoking. The Cantab Lit ‘Scene’ imises fussiness, cuts down on egos, and Patten has collected and adapted tales I grew to love this book. It sat on my So you write. Maybe you’re even more focuses attention on the work. But the from all around the world as well as throw- bedside table and waited patiently for me than half in love with it, despite the fact magazine becomes a collection of atom- ing in a few new ones; he provides sources to return bleary-eyed and disappointed that you’re realising that staying up til ised poems without any particular con- in the back of the book. But I soon dis- from long nights out, when I would open whatever cold hour with nothing but a nection. For this reason, perhaps, I tend covered that more would be required than its beautiful ivory covers and slip into the fag trembling from your lower lip and to find poetry magazines are quickly perusing a few pages and closing the cov- Story Giant’s castle before sleep. Because its acrid smoke in your eyes not only forgotten when they shouldn’t be, ers. I realised that the book demanded this is a book for a time and a place. It is a drives one to distraction but is effing dipped into, then discarded. But if the reading from start to finish, because the bedtime book, a book about dreams to lonely too. Accept it. Unlike the, at relationship between the editor and frame in which the stories were told was with the hope of finding the one tale that prepare you for dreaming, a quiet, kind times, rather viciously bouncy theatre just as important as the stories themselves. can keep him alive. Patten manages to book for when you have slipped off your scene, at the end of the day you’re not Patten’s Story Giant is like the love child maintain the tension throughout the book high heels and your hard heart. It requires going to be in bed with the director but of Roald Dahl’s BFG and Oscar Wilde’s by switching between the story of these a readiness to swap irony and cynicism for snivelling over a keyboard. However Selfish Giant. He lives alone in a beautiful, children, and their stories-within-a-story, the naiveté of a child’s dream world. Once there are things (quite sociable some- slightly mythical place, to which he draws and by keeping these tales bite-sized. there, however, you might find a secret times) to do with whatever self-indul- children with his power for controlling His prose tends towards the gently sadness and a few truths that make this gent bit of misery you end up writing. The most established is The May Anthologies which is, this year being its tenth, doing a jazzy retrospective edition as well as publishing the finest Oxbridge poems and fiction. Andrew Motion is Well-Thumbed: Master selecting (deadline: January) and they’ll bea do in Borders for its Michaelmas Launch on the night of 28 November. Sameer Rahim orders us to read Stalin’s favourite novelist, Bulgakov Info: [email protected]. he notion of the ‘classic novel’ has, The genius of this book is its wonderful the book being banned in Russia until The rather less imposing staple-bound in recent years, taken a beating sense of play, and the fun it has with 1966, twenty-five years after the author’s Tallulah magazine has a Festival Night Tfrom the furious ‘post’ brigade. authority. Bulgakov interweaves his death. (The fantasy passages inspired (expect candles) on 26th November, Post-modern, post-colonial and post- Moscow plot with a sly look at the birth of Salman Rushdie to imitate the religious 7pm in the Robinson Party Room, to structuralist pugilists have sought to dis- Christianity. The devil narrates the story parody in another controversial novel The launch their new magazine; open-mic credit the formation of a work that attains of Jesus – the man mistaken for the Satanic Verses). for the brave and egotistical plus music, the status of a classic through a faintly The Master and Magarita uses fantasy to bar and free nibbles. Contact Anita on mystical historical process. Therefore I undermine the artistic basis of socialist [email protected] for info. wish to recommend you to try The Master realist art. There are no grinning and pro- You can also do the ‘open-mic poetry’ and Margarita, by Mikhail Bulgakov, not ductive proletariat in a rural utopia. thing at Borders or join this cuddly as a classic, but in the same way as one Instead, we see the back-biting, petty and giant’s writing groups – ask at one of reader and writer were stronger, if the suggests trying yoga, tofu burgers or vindictive lifestyles of the urban literary those annoying information desks magazine itself could be seen as a piece homosexuality community and writers who have little where you can’t actually buy anything. of work in its own regard, then it’s pos- Mikhail Bulgakov was Josef Stalin’s talent but live in luxury because they com- There is also a rather exciting and sible that a really interesting anthology favourite writer. As a satirist and play- promise with the regime. Bulgakov knew ambitious new project in Cambridge could be produced. That’s the basic wright in the 1920s, he managed to sur- this community best and, in this final (and for one year only), Works on Paper premise behind Works on Paper, a vive Stalin’s purges by personally appealing work, only two years before his death, he – see below for more information... major new project that will produce a to him. The creative frustration engen- excoriated them with his satiric brilliance. Skye Wheeler durable, perfect-bound publication out dered by the constant censorship of his He uses slapstick to poke fun at those who in spring next year. We want to work work led him to write this fantastical mas- take themselves too seriously and in doing closely with writers in a relationship that terpiece, The Master and Margarita. Set so proves himself to be more intelligent What Works on Paper is constructive. We’re inviting all kinds among the poets and writers of Moscow, than all of them. At the start of the novel It’s gratuitous fun to imagine tuberculo- of submissions – from artwork to essays the devil appears, with a massive black cat he quotes Goethe’s Faust. The devil “wills sis and whisky and old typewriters, but to journalism to poems to ideas to fic- and a naked woman, to wreak havoc on forever evil, Yet does forever good”. The the problem with this in Cambridge is tion. Though certainly not a prerequi- the complacent population. The book’s hero of this novel is both the devil and that writers sold on being Byron don’t site, we are particularly interested in power stems from its startingly black Bulgakov himself. He and the devil invert ordinarily have any collaborators in things that investigate, however loosely, humour. the moral structure of a society that is liv- artistic excess. Apart from a few (inter- the notion of ‘works on paper’. Interpret In the first scene, the head of Massolit, a ing according to false values. The devil esting and worthwhile) student publica- as you will. Info: [email protected]. man named Berlioz, dies after encounter- takes sides and points at frauds, mocks the tions and events, Cambridge students Ben Musgrave ing the devil. His friend Ivan is then sent Messiah and misinterpreted by his over- power structures of Moscow and then dis- have little idea about where to go with to an asylum for claiming the devil has zealous followers (Bulgakov got there appears in a puff of smoke when his job is work. After you submit something, it Smorgasbord killed him. The plot rolls along in a loose- before Monty Python did). These sections done. This novel has a steely moral core may be accepted, but when it comes ly structured but eminently readable way of the novel portray Jesus as a revolution- and a sense of transcendent spirituality to round to publication, the wincing And for those of you good at writing for the rest of the novel until we encounter ary figure put to death for his opposition it, but its main strength is its assertion of embarrassments of hastily prepared dialogue, don’t forget Smorgasbord, the the Master and his lover Magarita, whose to the state. Pontius Pilate is akin to a the playful fantasy of the artist over the masterpieces cause a kind of rage – competition for original student dra- integrity and imagination leave them greasy Soviet commissar just following the suffocating uniformity of the state’s imag- berets are destroyed, pipes trampled on, matic writing. Info: [email protected]. immune to the Devil’s play. orders of an invisible authority. This led to ination.

Currently Reading: I do quite a lot of adventure stories – it’s a bit embarrass- Influences on his poetry: There are work on Ruskin, and I’m going to ing, I think – a lot of imperial sagas. hundreds of people. The living poet Literature Venice in December to do research, so Something I noticed in Ian Patterson’s would be Thom Gunn; he’s also a I’ve been reading a history of Venetian interview [last week] was the William friend, which contributes to it. Apart on the bedside table architecture by Deborah Howard. If books; they’re extremely well-written, from him, there’s Donald Davie, you lead the kind of life I do – part witty. I read some to my children and Geoffrey Hill, and Edgar Bowers, academic, part writer – there’s an awful still found them hilariously funny. whom I think is a wonderful poet. Ezra lot that you have to read…it’s hard to Meaning to Read: Quite a few things. Pound is the Twentieth Century poet I This week Sarah Savitt distinguish what’s for work. Purely for The thing I’m most embarrassed read most often. pleasure, I’ve read John Updike’s [about not having read] is Proust. I’ve Re-Reading: A Midsummer Night’s interviewed Clive Rabbit is Rich. I don’t read many nov- read the first volume, but need to read Dream – that’s probably the book I els – partly perhaps because I’ve lost the whole thing. It’s such an undertak- re-read most often. Re-reading Wilmer, a Cambridge interest in modern fiction. ing; I never seem to have time for that Shakespeare gives me more satisfaction Childhood Reading: When I was ten kind of thing. I would want to read it than anything else I can think of. prof and poet. or eleven, I was crazy about historical in one go. Photo: Sarah Savitt Careers Service LAW INFORMATION EVENT 2001 Thursday 29 November & Friday 30 November 1.00pm – 5.00pm Garden House Hotel River Suite (car park entrance) Meet representatives of solicitors firms, the Bar, lawyers in government & course providers & lawyers & trainees with human rights / pro bono experience – over 80 organisations

Thursday 29 November Friday 30 November Solicitors Firms Solicitors Firms Allen & Overy ¥ Andersen Legal Garretts ¥ Ashurst Morris Crisp ¥ Berwin Addleshaw Booth ¥ Baker & McKenzie ¥ Barlow Lyde & Gilbert ¥ Bates Wells & Leighton Paisner ¥ Bird & Bird ¥ Burges Salmon ¥ Clifford Chance ¥ CMS Braithwaite ¥ Bristows ¥ Cadwalader Wickersham & Taft ¥ Capsticks ¥ Charles Cameron McKenna ¥ Dechert ¥ Eversheds ¥ Farrer & Co ¥ Freshfields Bruckhaus Russell ¥ Cleary, Gottlieb, Stein & Hamilton ¥ Clyde & Co ¥ Denton Wilde Sapte ¥ Deringer ¥ Gouldens ¥ Herbert Smith ¥ Linklaters ¥ Lovells ¥ Macfarlanes ¥ DJ Freeman ¥ Hammond Suddards Edge ¥ Holman Fenwick & Willan ¥ Ince & Co Morgan Cole ¥ Nicholson Graham & Jones ¥ Norton Rose ¥ Richards Butler ¥ ¥ KLegal ¥ Lawrence Graham ¥ Masons ¥ Mills & Reeve ¥ Nabarro Nathanson ¥ Rowe & Maw ¥ Shearman & Sterling ¥ Sinclair Roche & Temperley ¥ Slaughter Olswang ¥ Penningtons ¥ Pinsent Curtis Biddle ¥ SJ Berwin ¥ Stephenson and May ¥ Travers Smith Braithwaite ¥ Trowers & Hamlins ¥ Withers ¥ Wragge & Harwood ¥ Taylor Joynson Garrett ¥ Watson Farley Williams ¥ Weil Gotshal & Co ¥ Manges ¥ White and Case ¥ Barristers Chambers Barristers Chambers Blackstone Chambers ¥ One Essex Court ¥ Littleton Chambers ¥ 2 Harcourt Essex Court Chambers ¥ Fountain Court Chambers ¥ 9 Gough Square ¥ Queen Buildings (Gerard Ryan) ¥ 40 King Street, Manchester ¥ Elizabeth Building ¥ 3-4 South Square ¥ Wilberforce Chambers ¥ Public Sector Public Sector Law Commission ¥ Lawyers in Local Government ¥ Government Legal Service ¥ Lawyers in Local Government ¥ Crown Prosecution Service ¥ Course Providers BPP ¥ College of Law ¥ Nottingham Law School ¥ Course Providers Bristol Institute of Legal Practice ¥ City University and Inns of Court School of Pro bono / human rights / legal aid Law Solicitors Pro Bono Group ¥ Lawyers, trainees and volunteers with experience ¥ Pro bono / human rights / legal aid Inns of Court student officers Solicitors Pro Bono Group ¥ Lawyers, trainees and volunteers with experience ¥ Kate Leafhead, Gray’s Inn ¥ Rachel Jenkins, Middle Temple ¥ Veronica Candy, Sarfo Solicitors - small Cambridge practice specialising in crime ¥

Loans advice Loans advice NatWest Bank NatWest Bank Talks Talks 2:00–2:30pm 2:00–3:00pm The Legal Practice Course (LPC) Bob White, Course Leader, LPC The Law Conversion Course (CPE/PgDL) Katherine Reece-Thomas, City Nottingham University 2:30–3:00pm 3:00-4:00pm The Bar Vocational Course (BVC) Sarah MacDonald, College of Law Choosing Chambers for pupillage and mini-pupillage Debbie Abrahamson, 3:00–4:00pm Inns of Court School of Law 4:00-5:00pm Making Successful Applications to firms of solicitors Jenny Chapman, Human Rights / Legal Aid / Pro Bono Work Liz Barratt, Solicitor, Immigration Nicholson Graham & Jones and Asylum, Bindman & Partners 4:00–5:00pm The Bar, the Inns, Pupillage & Tenancy Kate Leafhead (Gray’s Inn Student Officer), Rachel Jenkins (Inner Temple Scholarships Officer) and young barristers

Full details of everyone attending the Event on www.careers.cam.ac.uk 23 November 2001 www.varsity.cam.ac.uk SPORT 31 RUGBY LEAGUE TABLES Division I P W L D W/O F A Pts Downing871002082629 To erg is human Robinson 853001448723 St John's 752001584722 Jesus 75200965922 Indoor Rowing Emma633028913913 Fitz 62400928512 Nick Braddon Catz 716007218710 Magdalene70702292555 ‘Really, really, quite hard work’ was how George Sandison, a novice rower Division II P W L D W/O F A Pts from Downing, described his exer- Queens’ 862001154226 tions in the Queens’ College Ergo Trinity Hall 8620013210026 Competition which took place on Trinity843101299821 Wednesday 14th November. He mut- Peter-Sel 72320848615 tered a few more sentences about the Christs 53200928014 experience being ‘character building’, Girton52300464711 before heading off for some refresh- Churchill 614105210410 ments and a well-earned rest. Pembroke 51400261198 The competition was the first chance for this years’ novice rowers to experi- Division III P W L D W/O F A Pts ence the ferocity of inter-collegiate Sidney 440001724216 boatie rivalry. What an introduction Caius 43100904913 to competitive rowing it was! During Kings3210072409 the races the noise in the Fitzpatrick Clare 3120049586 Hall was absolutely deafening, as Corpus30300221383 coaches, coxes, and team-mates Anglia 30301221002 screamed at each rower to give that lit- tle bit more, and the sizable crowd in the gallery above shouted encourage- ment to their friends down below. 102 teams, each consisting of eight MEN’S HOCKEY TABLES rowers, took part in a competition Division I PWDLFADedPts that now rivals the national ergo Emma 6510193011 championships in size. The format of Pembroke 641121718 the competition is essentially very Cam City5311131307 simple, each rower in turn ‘rows’ Christs 53028506 500m as fast as they possibly can, Robinson 5221241515 before getting, or being dragged, off Johns 420212704 the ergo so that the next rower can get Caius 31206504 in position to start his or her leg of the Jesus 41126603 relay. About ten teams take part in Catz 51133903 each heat, with the ten fastest teams in Queens’ 401321201 each division going through to the APU 300301600 final at the end of the evening, where Fitzwilliam 40041171-1 they must put themselves through all Photo: Catherine Harrison the pain and torture once more in Division II PWLDFA DedPts pursuit of overall glory. The women’s final before had also were awarded to the fastest male and Downing 641114609 By the time the mens higher division not been short of incident, although female. The winners were a rower Trinity 5311211307 final was set to go, the crowd were the race did not produce the same from CCAT and Clare Philbreck from Sidney 33009506 feverish with excitement and expecta- level of crowd noise as the men’s final, LMBC, with times of 1 min 24.7 and Trinity Hall 33005115 tion. Queens’ had qualified fastest for as LMBC held off Selwyn and Trinity. 1 min 40.9 respectively. Corpus 312010504 the final, and there was a real possibil- At the end of the race it was discov- The most enduring image of the Magdalene 21107003 ity of a home win, which would have ered that there had been problems event for me was not the grimace of Clare 411210903 sent a large portion of the crowd into with a couple of the ergo machines pain etched on the face of every rower Girton 611491903 delirium. Queens’ and Clare Hall, the and that the results could not be con- (it was agonisingly painful just watch- John’s II 30215602 second fastest qualifiers, were practi- firmed. We were still awaiting confir- ing!), but the amazing team spirit and Peterhouse 40134901 cally inseparable in the early stages of mation of the results when the men’s camaraderie within each crew with all Churchill 20025900 the final as they vied for the lead with final took place, and this uncertainty knowing that everybody had given Selwyn 300321900 every stroke. However they didn’t helped to charge the atmosphere for their absolute best, and rowed their have things all their own way, as the final race. absolute hardest. Not everyone can Division III PWLDFA DedPts CCAT came through incredibly There were no finals in the lower win every time, but this support and Downing 641114609 strongly in the middle section of the divisions, where New Hall II and Jesus team spirit will be invaluable when the Trinity 5311211307 race, to the delight of their fans, and II were victorious in the female and rivalries continue out on the Cam in Sidney 33009506 never looked back as they maintained male lower divisions respectively. the Clare novices races and Fairbairns Trinity Hall 33005115 a phenomenal rate to the finish to win Rowing is such a team sport that it is races over the next few weeks, when Corpus 312010504 by a clear 12 seconds from Clare Hall. rare for any individuals to stand out, the mettle, togetherness and tech- Magdalene 21107003 LMBC edged out Queens’ for third but ergo competitions provide such a nique of each crew will be subjected to Clare 411210903 place. chance for personal success, and prizes an even more stressful examination. Girton 611491903

he kept on us on the edge of our seats for Though personalities have been few after the World Cup. Clive Woodward lost one of its greatest tournaments this an agonising three days in that semi-final and far between, British teams have had has shown his true colours this year as year: the Ryder Cup. But it will be back COMMENT with Ivanisevic. He also helped Great very successful years. The rugby league well. However, Gerrard Houllier, a man next year and along with it many events Britain defeat Equador to return Team side may claim the Ashes series this week- still recovering from his heart attack, that make 2002 another year of sport to GB to the World Group next year. A late end: a performance worth the accolade deserves a special get-well present, after remember. Not only will America face SPEIGHT candidate may be Lennox Lewis. After for team of the year. However, there are seeing his Liverpool side do so well. Europe at the Belfry, Great Britain will the humiliation in South Africa seven two certain teams in the running for the There are also several serious contenders try to reach Davis Cup glory, starting ON months ago, that left-right combination prize. The English rugby union side, that spring to mind for the Overseas against Sweden in February. Also that last Saturday night has brought him back despite their misfortune at Landsdowne Personality award. Schumacher for over- month, the Winter Olympics will be to the top of the tree in boxing. Road, has had a sensational run of form; taking the all time record for number of held in Salt Lake City. February will see SPORT None of those athletes have achieved their annihilation of Romania was testa- Grand Prix wins; Tiger Woods for win- England mount another challenge for Who is your Sports Personality of the this year though what Beckham has. ment to their magnificent year and star ning all the majors inside twelve months. the Grand Slam as well. Can Sir Alex see Year? There can only be one candidate, From the most vilified man in Britain of the match that afternoon, Jason However, Centre Court saw one of the his team become European Champions can there not? After a year when sporting after his impudent kick in World Cup Robinson, must be a serious runner in greatest men’s finals in the modern era at Hampden Park in May; what a fitting expectations did not quite live up to 1998, he is now a national hero. He has the race for Newcomer of the Year. and the people’s favourite, Goran end it would be to his career. The sum- anticipation, David Beckham stands led his team to next yearís showpiece and Liverpool must also be in the running Ivanisevic, the victor that day, must be mer can bring much too. Henman might alone as the star of 2001. Few athletes how! Not only did he run the show having won five titles this year and cur- odds on to take this particular award. finally win Wimbledon, British athletes have captured the imagination of the against Greece, he produced the most rently sitting at the top of the Obviously many highlights. But there can hopefully show their true form in public quite like he. You may argue oth- dramatic sporting moment since that Premiership. Such is United’s inconsis- were some lows. In the Ashes, England’s front of home support at the ers should be in the hunt. Michael Owen evening in Barcelona when Solksjaer tency this season, who says they cannot cricket team was thrashed. British ath- Commonwealth Games in Manchester, - it was his hat trick that produced the won Manchester United the European win the ultimate national prize in May? letes need not have turned up at the and maybe David Beckham will lift the greatest moment in English football since Cup. He is a perfect role model to those Manager of the Year could possibly go World Championships in Edmonton so World Cup. Next year’s personality has 1966. Perhaps Tim Henman. Think who play with him and those he to Sven Goran Erikkson, but wait until disappointing were their performances. the potential to be a lot more difficult to back to that weekend in early July when inspires.. next year and he might warrant the prize Also, due to the events in America, sport choose than this year’s. FLYING FISTS OF FURY Jitsu Championships

Tim Robinson

Cambridge University Jitsu club were in action again at the Annual Jitsu Foundation Atemi National Competitions in Birmingham on November 10th & 11th. It was a chance to show off our self-defence skills using locks, strikes and throwing techniques against both armed and unarmed attackers. The squad of 16 all put in excellent performances, kicking some serious ass, in what proved to be one of the toughest competitions in recent years. Close to 800 competitors from clubs all over the country and from abroad climbed into their angry white pyjamas, picked up knives, coshes and baseball bats, and set about showing what they could do. The Cambridge squad demonstrated some solid and quite tasty jitsu in the competition arena and later, in the nightclub, showed all the other Jitsu clubs that Cambridge rule the podium. Congratulations are well-deserved by all squad members, but particular credit must go to three jitsuka who put in out- standing individual performances. Phil Canner (Queens’) battled his way into the semi-final of the eighth Kyu (novice) competition, and narrowly missed out bronze medal. Finally, the stand out Although enjoying getting the chance that is effective regardless of your size, come along to try it for yourself. The on a place in the final. Dan Lumsden competitor of the weekend was Andy to give the other clubs in the country a strength, or gender. If you are interest- University Jitsu club train Thursday 6- (St Catherine’s) destroyed the pack in Colgan who, in a show of total domina- good shoe-ing, the emphasis at the club ed in building your confidence, learning 8pm, Saturday 11-1pm, and Sunday 10- the fifth Kyu (Purple belt) competition, tion, won gold in the seventh Kyu is on practical self-defence. We teach a how to defend yourself, and having a lot 12noon at Fenners Gym. All are wel- and was awarded a very well deserved (Yellow belt) category. system of locking, striking and throwing of fun at the same time, then you should come, and your first session is free.

BLUES PLAY WESTERN SAMOA: Read about the action from this game and enjoy our look forward to all things Varsity Water slaughter in this week’s special centre pullout Water Polo Fielding a team weakened by injury and Some slack and inexperienced defending inexperience, the Blues were expecting to allowed the Bedford side to stay in the 14 Cambridge learn from this fixture rather than come game. Churchillian ‘keeper Joel Miller, 11 Bedford away with a result. Serial member of the active in defence as always, received a starting seven, Magdalene’s Benjamin punch to the head for his troubles. Buzz Hendrix Tausig, had to pull out due to a damaged However, unlike in their match against the shoulder and was limited to occupying the University of London, an abandonment of There are many beautiful, picturesque, sidelines doing what he does best - talking the game was not required as the match exciting, or just generally happening places a good game. did not descend into all out warfare. in England. These attract punters from The university took an early lead after a Instead, Cambridge went on to score some miles around to savour the feeling, enjoy brisk start to the game. John’s Diver Angus good goals, the pick of which came from the atmosphere and be part of the buzz. Murray scored – for once in the pool an ethereal lob flighted in by Andy Harris I’m talking about the likes of Leicester rather than in Life – beating the hapless from the halfway line. Further goals from Square for an evening, Twickenham when Bedford ‘keeper with a delightful shot into Wiseman, Gomersall (2), Murray and England are beating Australia or outside the top corner. Perhaps dreaming a touch debutantes Denley and Hensman added the Mill on a hot summer’s afternoon in too early of a pint of beer celebrating a win to the evening’s good work. May Week with a cold pint of beer. in the tasteless wine bars of Bedford, the Needless to say, if Bedford had fielded a Bedford, however, is not one of these Blues inexcusably lost concentration and full side, Cambridge would have strug- champagne-moment locations. In fact, as managed to concede two quickfire goals in gled. However, a win against any side con- grim places go, Bedford, on a Friday night reply. However, the story of the game was taining National League players is a good in the middle of a foggy November’s the class of Cambridge captain Russ result. Captain Fuller was quick to high- evening, is a pretty grim place. Fuller, who managed to bag a double hat- light the positives but warned against Nevertheless, for the greater good of water trick. Three of Fuller’s goals came from the complacency: ‘We played some good polo in general and their Varsity and penalty spot, the second of which was won water polo and scored some great goals, BUSA preparations in particular, the Blues in exquisite fashion by a perfect counter- but we should not be happy to have let in squad endured the arduous trek through attacking move set up by Fuller himself, 11 goals through poor defending’. The the fog-shrouded fens of East Anglia to putting Alex Starling clean through in a Blues will be hoping to carry this attacking take on their National League opponents second wave attack, only for the form into the first round of BUSA which from the hovel that is Bedford, the bleak- Cambridge man to be cynically fouled in takes place at the start of December in Photo: Rowan Huppert est town in the UK south of Sunderland. front of goal. Warwick. Anywhere but Bedford. A fight between a Tory who went to Eton and an Etonian who was a Tory Ð News Features ¥ PAGE 6

Issue 550 20p where sold

Rugby Special Interview A guide to the prize, the players and Neil Hamilton talks to us and the pubs of Twickenham in a Varsity Christine wants to snog the match special pull-out Union President on PAGE 20 The Cambridge student newspaper 23 November 2001 www.varsity.cam.ac.uk THIS DEMO COST MORE THAN £10,000. WAS IT REALLY WORTH IT? Photo: Drake Kieran

police vehicles, administration and involved because “there were spe- people in total,” but CUSU fig- The costs to the police were not ernment.” The budget had been Julian Blake local co-ordination. Sergeant cial police on standby in case there ures suggest around 400 attended. the only costs incurred. Stewart approved as part of CUSU’s high- Davidson, one of the officers were problems.” She insisted that Inspector Alan Jarmain, who is Morris, CUSU Services Officer, er education funding campaign, A senior officer of the Cambridge involved in organising the polic- co-ordination between CUSU and responsible for the policing of the estimated the total cost of public- passed last year. Rachael Tripp, Constabulary has launched a ing, could not confirm these fig- the police was good, but they had city centre, accused CUSU of ity for the event as £1,000, with CUSU Access Officer, told scathing attack on the organisation ures, but emphasised that the given inaccurate estimates of the making “a gross overestimate.” He about £215 spent on flyers and Varsity, “we shouldn’t look at the of CUSU’s regional rally, claiming march used valuable police expected turnout for the event. said, “I had to withdraw police £300 on posters. CUSU march in isolation, this was part that the event cost the police in the resources. She told Varsity, “the The police had been given figures from other areas to police the President Pav Akhtar defended of a national series of marches.” region of £10,000. The officer told cost is more in time that could be of between 800 and 1,000, but event. It could have paid for more the demonstration, claiming Akhtar added, “It made the Varsity that the police had to spent elsewhere. While the officers fewer than half attended. Tom police on the street.” However, “whether there were 400 or 1,000 impact we wanted it to in terms employ 50 police officers at a cost were at the demonstration, they Licence, Magdalene JCR Vice both Davidson and Jarmain were students it doesn’t make a differ- of publicity. We stood up and of around £140 per officer. could have been on duty else- President said, “I would estimate keen to stress that they agreed with ence because they raised the issue made a clear statement that we Further costs involved the use of where,” and extra costs were that there were no more than 150 the legitimate right to protest. and put the pressure on the gov- want grants not fees.”

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