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 e WEEK Independent  Student LENT Newspaper  est. 1947 Friday 10th February 2012 Issue No 753 | varsity.co.uk

5 News: Interview with Helena 14 Features: Exploring the darker side of romantic 16 Cocktail of the 24 Film: e enduring romance between Parisian Kennedy literature week culture and the big screen Snow is in the Cambridge air Of ty Lov Ci e

Valentine’s Edition

SCIENCE e chemistry of “Fucking is the love new frigid. So Cam count continues Errors, of MUSIC much sex. So little Two more bodies discovered in Cambridge in the past Montreal intimacy. Is that week add to the rising body count BOOKS e Art of freedom, do you Fielding, Granta by Helen Charman Riverside Housing hostel for the home- Last November, ARU lecturer, think? NEWS EDITOR less. Dario Fisher, the studio manager former Fellow and Director of Stud- of Minuteman print company, situated ies in English at Homerton College, FILM Roman Polanski’s On Wednesday morning the body of a opposite St Luke’s church, told report- Professor Julia Swindells was discov- Carnage 40-year-old woman was discovered in ers “it is really tragic that he could have ered in the Cam over a week after her the River Cam, marking the third such found help just up the road”.  e man, disappearance. Just as with the bodies discovery in Cambridge in eleven days, originally believed to be homeless, was found more recently, the death of the ART Shelf Lives, and drawing attention to the growing a resident of the Emmaus community, 60-year -old, who was reported to have Boooooooooom number of bodies found in Cambridge which provides a supportive environ- suff ered from depression and extreme in the past year. ment for homeless people, and which paranoia, was not treated suspiciously. At 11.15am on Wednesday, Cam- the Duchess of Cornwall visited this  e death of the 52-year-old home- THEATRE Bereavement: e bridgeshire Police were informed that week. less man, Raymond Boyle, last May Musical a body had been spotted near Ditton Just eleven days earlier than Week, however, is being treated as a Meadows; it was later confi rmed to be Wednesday’s discovery, and only nine murder enquiry. Boyle was reportedly that of a woman from Cambridge, who days prior to the body found outside stamped upon and then dumped in the WEEKEND > is yet to be publicly identifi ed. St Luke’s, the body of 37-year-old water by Jack Robinson, 18, and Daniel 6 WEATHER 0  is comes just days after the tragic Marek Bogdan Zajechowski, a miss- Mynott, 17, following an incident on

news of another death in the early ing man from Newmarket Road, was Jesus Green. The coroner’s report 2 hours of Monday morning.  e body uncovered by a rower near the Fort St stated multiple blunt impacts to the 0 0

of a man thought to be in his for- George pub on Midsummer Common. head, face and chest, as well as immer- 4 4

ties was discovered by passers-by in A full investigation has taken place, sion in water and alcohol intoxication, 4

the doorway of St Luke’s Church on and the post-mortem results have con- and the prosecution are claiming that 8 5

Victoria Road, buried in the snow fol- fi rmed that he drowned.  e police are the attack occurred without warning. 7

Jeanette Winterson 1

lowing the freezing weather over the not treating any of the deaths as suspi-  e trial investigating the two teen- 7 23 weekend. cious. In total this is now the fi fth body agers continues, with Mynott and 7  e body was found not far from the found in Cambridge within a year. Robinson denying all charges. 9 2 EDITORIAL FEBRUARY 10 2012 — WEEK 4

Journalism is the ability to meet the challenge of fi lling space. – Rebecca West EDITORIAL

...24 pages of words, pictures, facts, opinions, thoughts, clues, statements, Inside conclusions, insinuations and the occasional fl a s h of genius... Love: Romance should not ONLINE BLOGS SCIENCE be tidied up online Varsitech: e Manson Family. h, romance. is week saw completely removed by Facebook. Is Interview 5 Tony Benn Scientology. Pacman. Dangerous 7 Cambridge taken over by it still possible to fi nd romance on the cults with vengeful followers; Jake Rock of the Week two extremes - snow and a computer, and will lots of romances Harris asks ‘what makes is week we present total heart-throb Heather posing with a mass of RAG blind daters. now be made in the computer? How people fanatical about hunky slab of phyllite. Looking for love? Look no futhur than the While some of us were gearing up in will this change the world? By making videogames anyway’? A University Earth Sciences Department our snow boots and skidding our way love somehow the result of an app, to lectures, others were preparing the result of interpersonal suitability Verifi ed: Bill Gates gets NEWS some deserved praise from themselves for what they were cer- decided by a computer programme? tain might be the fi rst date with the Is it something else about to be taken Ciaran McAuley for his eff orts love of their life (as one Varsity sec- over by Apple? (Bill’s, not Ciaran’s - try harder tion editor put it, “You never know, Facebook is not romance, it is a tar- Ciaran) to eradicate 10 tropical 10 is week’s snow I might end up meeting the pretty geted market research device which diseases. is week’s snow in pictures by Varsity readers. Unfortunately the blond from Trinity who I’ll end up takes the romance out of the world. board wouldn’t let us include any photos from the Inter Collegiate ‘Frontline Foods’ marrying.” Hope springs eternal even e site encourages us not to take Vice: Snow Penis Competition (see page 9) - ‘What’s bitchin’ in in the wintry cold). chances with our desires. Ultimately, the kitchen?’ - ‘THIS, After paying your fi ver and fi ll- however, love is a great risk taking is culinary triage’: FEATURES ing out the RAG blind date form, process, and involves taking the sort all phrases that fail wildly hoping that you’ll be paired of risks that make life richer. Face- to adequately describe 18 with the partner of your dreams, you book and the tabloid world encourage our Vice blogs this week. Valentine’s Voyeur receive your date’s disclosed details. addiction to instant gratifi cation and Of course, the very fi rst thing to do are ultimately about lust. Love is Rose Hills shows us how to make RAG blind daters and Varsity Assistant Buisness We follow is type their name into the Facebook about subtler, sweeter and ultimately chickpea stew; Lucy James ponders Manager Tristan (‘Future investment banker - Kaching!’) on their search engine and scrutinise, fi rst more satisfying romance; it is to be the great fryup; and Helena Pike search for love surveys a German cakery. and foremost, their appearance. Any nurtured. element of mystery and risk taking After the snow last week, Cam- Vulture: Alex Hitchcock is feeling THEATRE entwined with a ‘blind date’ is thereby bridge took on a new light. Coated Kind of Blue about effi ciently eliminated from the outset. in a blanket of seductive white - and whether to treat jazz as 20 Facebook itself was fi rst born as a treacherous ice - everything was taken a cultural artefact or Marlowe Society version of a university dating site – at a slower pace: the city fell quiet, recognise it as an ever- e Marlowe Society revives the comedy of from the Harvard ‘Fit-College’-esque and became romantic again. Couples relevant Love Supreme. A Midsummer Night’s Dream website ‘Facemash’, where online visi- ventured out at night having snow- I can only respond ‘Time tors would vote on all students in the ball fi ghts, and early in the morning Out’! I need to Ah and Um university database based on their in each college courtyard students this one over. attractiveness. Facebook, eff ectively, were building snowmen adorned with MUSIC became a mutated and updated ver- college scarves. Cambridge became sion of just that – originally built by aesthetically pleasing in a whole new Team List (Celebrity Crush) Mark Zuckberg with the intention of way. Editors Madeleine Morley and Louise Benson Love songs 22 discovering a girl’s ‘single/in a rela- A few days later though, the snow [email protected] (Macaulay Culkin) tionship/it’s complicated’ status. hardened and became icy and diffi - Business Manager Michael Derringer Our Music Editor, Rory Williamson, asks himself [email protected] (Birgitte Nyborg) ‘Why so many love songs?’ Ultimately, surmising whether the cult to deal with. e dreamy white Senior Arts Editor Zoe Large object of one’s curiosity was attrac- turned into something else, some- [email protected] (Richard O’Brien) tive or not. thing more real. And, in reality, it is News Editor’s Stephanie Barrett, Helen Charman, Matt Today, Facebook still could be just such honest, disorganised, messy Russell, Rosie Sargeant [email protected] (Johnny Depp) ART defi ned as having the same use, albeit - and real - love that can deal with the Online Editor James Vincent internationally and amongst non- slush and diffi culty, and with what [email protected] (Richard E. Grant) students. Although the website has comes next; we shouldn’t just want it Science and Theatre Editor Helen Cahill 25 [email protected] (David Leigh) Kettle’s Yard become publicly owned, with the new, to be a perfect snow all the time, and Perspectives Editor Emily Fitzell Curator Sebastiano Barassi talks about its founder’s legacy currently optional, version Time- not want the illusion to melt. [email protected] (Hugh Grant) line, for students its best use is still as Features Editor Katy Browse [email protected] (Andrew Graham-Dixon) a dating site. It is a means of conve- Music Editor Rory Williamson niently organising your life without [email protected] (Owen Pallett) any of the (rather lovely) messiness Books Editor Charlotte Keith SPORT of engaging in what remains of real [email protected] (Megan Fox) life. Any romance in the RAG Blind Film/TV Editor India Ross fi [email protected] (Michael Winner) 30 Date, and the element of surprise, is Art Editor Holly Gupta Hare and Hounds [email protected] (Henri Gaudier-Bzreska) Fashion Editors Claire Healy & Naomi Pallas Spirits are high despite the freezing weather [email protected] (Vincent Gallo) Madeleine Morley & Louise Benson Sport Editors Laura Kirk, Olivia Fitzgerald, Adam Fuller [email protected] (Venus Williams) Editors, Lent 2012 VarsiTV Editor Vicki Perrin [email protected] (Chris Tarrant) Podcasts Editor Patrick Sykes [email protected] (Meryl Streep) Head of Investigations Isabella Cookson Post [email protected] (Robert MacFarlane) Business & Advertising Associate Tristan Dunn to represent the views of its members, political body insofar as it is representa- about 200 miles further than Singapore [email protected] (Beyonce) Why CUSU is necessary often to a higher authority, be it govern- tive – the act of presenting a view point, from Cambridge, and last year’s record Chief Sub Editor Alice Bolland (Daniel Radcliffe) ment or the University. e author of or criticising or arguing for a point is is, unfortunately, not broken yet. Design Louise Benson and Madeleine Morley Dear Editors, this comment seemed to assume that political because it involves taking a Best regards, Chief Illustrator Lizzie Marx Browsing through this week’s Varsity, anything “political” is inherently bad. stand. MATTHEW LEE Week 4 Sub Editors Paige Darby, Joanne Stewart, Jennifer I came across an inevitable article about Politics is something other people do. Regards, Bottomley CUSU’s role and accomplishments. On It conjures up images of crazy, Marx- CHRIS PAGE A magical dissertation Varsity Board Dr Michael Franklin (Chair), Prof. Peter the whole, the pieces were relatively wielding socialists trying to bring down (Read Chris’s full-length article in Robinson, Dr Tim Harris, Mr Chris Wright, Mr Michael balanced – two in favour, two against. the government,locking horns with response to last week’s piece online at I’m so glad you’re doing this: I gave my Derringer, Ms Alice Hancock (Varsity Society President), However, I was struck by one of the equally crazy privileged conservatives, varsity.co.uk/comment). ‘Why Harry Potter is possibly the most Ms Charlotte Wu, Mr Rhys Treharne, Mr Laurie Martin, Ms Louise Benson, Ms Madeleine Morley & Mr Tristan Dunn arguments against; it suggested the whilst the vast mass of students sit with crucial morality text of the modern age’ fl aw with CUSU was that “council their heads in their hands and wonder Not so long-distance manifesto over lunch last week, to an NEWSPAPERS Varsity, Old Examination Hall, Free SUPPORT School Lane, Cambridge CB2 3RF. meetings are often dominated by what the hell is going on. audience of mixed prejudices. But in RECYCLING Recycled paper made Tel 01223 337575. Fax 01223 up 77.4% of the raw overly political discussions of issues is, to my mind, seems to be a fun- Dear Editors, the end, we have to concede, I was right. material for UK 760949. Varsity is published by newspapers in 2010 NEWSPAPERS SUPPORT Varsity Publications Ltd. that are not refl ective of the priorities damental misunderstanding, or, indeed, While reading your article “I’m Good luck with your paper, I hope that RECYCLING Varsity Publications also publishes BlueSci and The Mays. of students” and, furthermore, that prejudice, surrounding the word “polit- an undergrad... get me out of here!”, lots of people get to read it- not just ©2012 Varsity Publications Ltd. All rights reserved. No part of “the strongly politically minded ical.” To say that something is “political” I noticed a factual error in your your supervisor/examiner. this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical council meetings are far from a clear does not mean that it can immediately reporting. Bravo. photocopying, recording or otherwise without prior permission of medium for the representation of stu- be tied down to the binary oppositions You mentioned the winning team fl ed CHARLOTTE QUINNEY the publisher. Printed at Iliffe Print Cambridge — Winship Road, Milton, Cambridge CB24 6PP on 42.5gsm Standard Newsprint. dents’ immediate concerns.” and categories of specifi c political ide- to SIngapore “trumping last year’s win- [In response to Edd Bankes’s online Registered as a newspaper at the Post Offi ce. ISSN 1758-4442 Surely the very purpose of a union is ologies. A union, of whatever form, is a ners”, but by all counts Buenos Aries is article ‘My Harry Potter dissertation’] ARE YOU READY FOR AN INDIAN SUMMER? Join us over the next few months for a series of challenges that will help you develop all-important employability skills. Not only will you help community projects both here and in India, but you could earn the chance to spend time with us in Mumbai to see how a global organisation really works. Visit our website or scan the QR code to find out more. www.anindiansummerwithrbs.com RIGHT PLACE. RIGHT TIME. 4 NeWS february 10 2012 — week 4 Future doctor spins a drunken 180 degrees cambridge An undergraduate medical Prince of Wales lands in Cambridge student at Downing College has had his driving licence suspended for 20 by Helena Pike months by Cambridge Magistrates’ News CorrespoNdeNt Court for drink driving in the city centre. Prince Charles and his wife, the Duch- Ashley Smaje, 21, left a college party ess of Cornwall, spent last Wednesday in the early morning of January 21, and in Cambridge, on official business. described it as a moment of “complete The Prince is no stranger to Cam- idiocy” when he decided to drive his bridge, having graduated from Trinity car, although already twice over the College with a 2:2 in Anthropology, legal alcohol limit. Archaeology and History in 1970. At around 2.30am Smaje drove along However, this time he saw a different Mill Road through the city centre, and side of Cambridge after touching down then “lost control of the car and spun by helicopter at Girton College, where a it 180 degrees”, as described by the crowd of surprised students met them. prosecuting team. A third year Girton medic, Tom Along with the 20 month driving O’Pray described the whole situation disqualification, Smaje was ordered to as “totally surreal” explaining that when pay a £100 fine, £85 court costs and a the craft flew right past their windows, victim surcharge of £15. they “all ran onto the snow with our slippers on to find a load of police men The academic Spring and the Prince of Wales on the cricket pitch.” cambridge A boycott of scientific and One student later commented on mathematical journals has erupted in Facebook how Girton would “email support of Timothy Gowers, fellow of us all, excitedly, when they’ve added a Trinity College. new book to the library… but not when Prince Charles revisited the city of his university days on Wednesday The mathematician gave his reasons the future King of England visits the for boycotting Elsevier in a blog post college.” rediscover their passion, he advocated Meanwhile, his wife paid two visits, day, just to keep his blood sugar levels on 21 January. He accused the publish- The pair were nonetheless admired some alternative methods. He stressed the first being to the Cambridge Wel- intact, until being fitted with an insulin ing company, which owns prestigious by the onlookers; geographer Holly the importance of “teaching the whole come Trust Clinical Research Facility at pump at the age of 14. journals such as the Lancet and Cell, Lovering admits, “Camilla was looking person”, claiming that schools had Addenbroke’s. Camilla praised his recent perfor- of charging ‘very high prices’, and of a fine: forget K-Middy, CP-B is my new neglected “the element of character” At the hospital, the Duchess was mance in Warhorse, saying “I loved it process of “bundling” in which librar- style icon.” for too long. He said that they should conducted into the area in which the and cried from beginning to end”. This ies must subscribe to a package of Prince Charles and Camilla had to instead concentrate on “the key issue” Juvenile Diabetics Research Founda- prompted the admission from Irvine journals rather than the one desired. quickly move on, with both royals taking of “how to raise self-esteem, self-worth tion (JDRF) conduct trials on young that without the research of JDRF into Tyler Neylon, a fellow mathema- on full, albeit individual schedules, the and self-confidence”. people with type 1 diabetes. Here she insulin pumps, he would not have been tician based in California created a future king speaking at an education The Prince of Wales gave particu- met the star of the recent film, War able to enjoy such a career. website entitled ‘The Cost of Knowl- seminar for the Prince’s Teaching Insti- lar mention to one teacher who taught Horse, 21 year-old Jeremy Irvine, from The Duchess then went onto the edge: Researchers taking a stand tute (PTI) at Madingley Hall. Latin and Greek, and had promised Gamlingay. The actor was diagnosed Emmaus Cambridge Community, a against Elsevier’ in response to In his speech to delegates, for the to explain the origins of the names of with type 1 diabetes at the age of 6 and charity for the homeless of which she Gowers’ blog entry. On going to print organisation that aims to help teachers Harry Potter spells to them. had to endure up to eight injections per is royal patron. the number of signatures on the web- site stands at 4438, with numbers rising exponentially. Gowers has claimed that he “wasn’t really trying to start a campaign”: “My intention was merely to make public, and a little more rigid, a policy that I Cambridge Union overspends, again and many others had already been by Stephanie Barrett particularly in the run-up to our 200 applying, in my case without much dif- deputy News editor year anniversary. In the short term, that ficulty, for several years.” is costing us money, but we feel it’s a The Cambridge Union Society’s annual powerful investment and a very impor- emma courts new build figures reveal its financial deficit last tant one to make” year of over £250,000. She admitted that their financial dif- cambridge Emmanuel College will be In the year leading up to 30th June ficulties were aggravated by the current expanding if plans for a new accom- 2011, the Union spent £255, 071 beyond economic conditions and the fact that modation block are approved. their total budget. Their yearly income “our investments have fallen short of The 1960s splendour of South Court totalled £669, 306, whilst they spent an their projected profits.” could soon be joined by a further 29 overwhelming £924, 377. The high cost of running and main- rooms on the western side, backing on This is a 20% increase in deficit from taining the Union is indisputable. She to Janus House and visible from Park- that of £212, 318 in 2009/10. went on to note that “the calibre of our er’s Piece. This may come as no surprise in events and speakers in the last few years Concerns have been raised about light of the Union’s repeated, annual has soared, and maintaining a building the visual impact for the existing area overspending. For the previous three so old is obviously very expensive”, fol- around South Court, but Emmanuel academic years, the establishment has lowing the star-studded line up of the stated that any damage to the visual consistently run up deficits of over Union’s most recent termcard, with environment or college grounds would £200,000. speakers including Katie Price, Domi- be “minimised”. To fund these recurring shortfalls, it nique Straus-Kahn, Zoe Wanamaker The council will be considering the is presumed the Union recourses to its and Stephen Sondheim..Commenting application until the 17th February. considerable private financial reserves, on the potentially unsustainable rou- which were valued at £7.8m in June tine of falling on back on accumulated cambridge boosts 2010. reserves to fund the persistent deficits, dementia research The cause for the Union’s most Lam insists “the Union certainly plans recent deficit is understood to be its to come back into surplus” Possible cambridge The University has unveiled recent formation of a Development and options for long-term financial strat- a £1 million brain imaging study this Alumni Office, the aim of which is to egy mentioned were expanding the week that investigates the link between help better source funds from alumni operations of the Union’s business arm, Alzheimer’s and Down’s syndrome. and benefactors. Cambridge Union Society Enterprises Professor Tony Holland, who is lead- This project, which will in the long Ltd (CUSEL). ing the research, has stated that almost term provide financial remunera- The financial recovery time frame , 100% of Down’s sufferers go on to tions, cost the Union £129,000 in the however, remains dubious. Whilst Lam develop dementia. year preceding 30th June 2011. This envisages a return to financial stability Symptoms often manifest up to 40 expenditure on “generating voluntary “within the next couple of years”, this years earlier in those who have Down’s income” consequently accounted for vague prediction appears hopeful in syndrome.. 14% of its total yearly expenditure. light of the cycle of recurring annual The four-year study intends to The Union President, Katie Lam, debt which they appear to be entrapped examine the role of beta amyloid in the said of these figures: ‘we’re trying to in. development of Alzheimer’s. Scien- establish a stronger relationship with The Union is currently promot- tists are already aware that people with our alumni and be able to offer people ing its Venetian themed Masquerade Down’s syndrome have more amyloid membership that is truly for a lifetime, Ball, occurring on the 25th February, in their brains and hope that their find- so we have to set up a Development and and with tickets priced at £60 and £65 ings will shed light on the causes of this Alumni Office. a head this could perhaps go some specific form of dementia for the pop- “[We] are very excited to see what it way towards remunerating the Union’s ulation as a whole. will be generating over the next decade, depleted funds. The Union has revealed a massive budget deficit for the last year Join a leader, become a leader

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1-00004695_Deloitte_full_page_ad_345x270.indd 1 30/01/2012 14:51 6 NEWs februAry 10 2012 — Week 4 Notes on a scandal? Emma Greensmith and Isabella Cookson investigate student-supervisor relationships that venture well beyond the classroom, and discover why the topic is such a taboo

hat's such juicy gossip!” across the full emotional spectrum: moral obligation to ensure that such responsibility for and contact with the We all lean in eagerly as from outrage to apathy to enthusiasm. conflicts of interest and risks do not student. A written note of the action One evening, I was walking a friend gives the latest Former Cambridge student Sam arise, and that relationships with stu- adopted will be agreed between the a drunken friend home after a instalment of her extra- Black, now vice-president of the British dents for whom the staff member has superior/colleague and staff member night at Cindies. As we stumbled curricular flirtation with Columbia Civil Liberties Association, direct responsibility in any way remain and retained by both." towards college, a tall man was her supervisor. Oh noth- has publically condemned the intimate strictly professional in nature. Staff The policy is not perfect. The notion cycling towards us. When I called ing has actually happened, but it could, nature of the supervision system itself, members have a professional and ethi- that if such a relationship were to to him for help, he got off his bike it might, she can feel it. deeming it susceptible to manipulation cal responsibility to protect the interest occur and “a written note of the action and helped me carry my friend T back to college. Our reaction to what is essentially a and open to abuse: of students in this way, to respect the adopted will be agreed between the non-story characterises the air of scan- "In my first year at the University of trust inherent in the relationship, and superior/colleague and staff member Once she’d been put to bed and dal in student-supervisor romantic Cambridge I discovered much of the accept the constraints. Members of and retained by both”, for example, we found ourselves alone, one relationships. We are not children, our instruction took the form of tutorials, staff are strongly advised not to enter sounds a lot like the marginalisation of thing led to another and I woke supervisors are considered our equals one-on-one contact between student into any romantic or sexual relation- the student involved; decisions will be up beside him the next morning. I in terms of maturity and we conduct and instructor. Many of these were ship with a student whom they are made on their behalf and without any got dressed and left as quickly as our academic relations with them as conducted in people's homes, and the responsible for teaching, assessing, necessary consultation. I could, thinking I would never see two mutually respecting adults. So why talk would frequently turn personal in advising or supporting; nor to accept Overall, though, it can be com- him again. then does the very prospect of romance a variety of contexts. Surely this inti- any new responsibility for a student mended for its very existence, for A year later, I began a course cause us to react like a bunch of scan- macy must be a breeding ground for with whom they have an existing rela- avoiding a dictatorial attitude and with a new supervisor. I turned up, every kind of intergenerational perver- tionship of this kind. above all for getting to the core of the only to be faced with the man of sion, and abuse of power imaginable?" fundamental problem with student- my post-Cindies pull. He blushed, ‘The taboo is a product Others voice more laissez-faire atti- supervisor affairs: supervisors have and I pretended we didn’t tudes: one student claims that they ‘One student claims that a duty of care towards their students know each other. My weekly of uncertain boundaries, got the most out of supervisions when they got the most out which is inherent to and inextricable supervisions became a ritual of and student-supervisor there was overt sexual chemistry. In from their position. A romantic rela- embarrassment and a reminder order to navigate through these murky of supervisions when tionship of any sort would jeopardise of a night I’d rather have forgot- romance is the ultimate waters, some clearer 'ground rules' this. ten. We never acknowledged the must be established. there was overt sexual Part of the beauty of romance is its situation and awkwardly never blurring of the line’ Murray Edwards have got the right chemistry’ spontaneous and unpredictable nature. made eye contact the entire term. idea, having drawn up detailed guide- Falling for a supervisor is not in itself Thank God I now have a new lines on what to do if an academic 'wrong', and a relationship between supervisor. dalised schoolgirls? relationship becomes romantic, which “The University recognises however consenting adults is understandable. Some light may be shed on this were adopted by the College Council that such relationships do neverthe- The 'scandal' arises from the continu- question by asking another one. Irre- in July 2007 and are displayed clearly in less develop occasionally, sometimes of ing sense of taboo, and the problems 4th year student spective of our own personal opinions the college and on its website: long duration. In such circumstances, start when supervisors and supervisees about the ethics of such relationships, "The University of Cambridge regards the staff member has a responsibility mistakenly think that they can carry how many of us are aware of what the the professional relationship between to notify a superior (such as the Senior on having an academic and a romantic concrete university rules are concern- a member of staff and a student as Tutor or President) of the situation relationship without impacting upon ing them? There is no easily accessible critical to the student's educational in confidence. This person will try to either. policy, no clearly displayed university- development. Any romantic or sexual assess the best means of protecting Romantic involvement with some- wide guidelines; it is difficult to know relationship between a member of staff the interests of both parties, consult- one responsible for your learning and James and I met when I was in whether a liaison with a supervisor is and a student raises serious questions ing in confidence as necessary for this development is indeed the ultimate my second year, he supervised a frowned upon, discouraged or strictly of conflict of interest and equality of purpose; wherever practicable, the out- blurring of the line. It's time for us, and course that I had taken the previ- forbidden. treatment. They may damage the teach- come will involve the removal of the the university, to draw that line back ous year. We met through sport The taboo is a product of uncertain ing and learning environment for other staff member from direct professional in. and mutual friends, not our sub- boundaries, and student-supervisor students and staff, and may pose a risk ject. There was never any initial romance is the ultimate blurring of the to the University's reputation. awkwardness regarding our line, rife with assumptions, contradic- “Implicit in the professional status supervisor-supervisee roles: the tions and conflicting opinions ranging and role of members of staff is a only slight oddity to the relation- ship was the 13 year age gap but it was probably stranger for him INsTANT rEACTIONs than for me, introducing his new What would your initial response “I wouldn’t. I’d find it inappropriate undergraduate girlfriend when be if you heard that someone and worry about the impact on work” he’d had a PhD for over six years. you knew was having a – Second year, Jesus As time passed and we became relationship a supervisor? “Whilst I wouldn’t rule it out, I’d worry more cemented as a couple, things if they were older, because that’s settled down in that sense. “I’d be excited and shocked” less socially acceptable for men” – On the other hand, I started to – Third year, Magdalene Postgraduate, Darwin realise that several of my peers “I’d tell them to go for it!” “I don’t see any fundamental problem had been supervised by James. It – Second year, Newnham with it” -– Third year, Robinson was odd to show up to realise that “I would think worse of the supervisor “The only potential problem would be we both knew the same people - in question” – Third year, King’s if their chat was too academic” – Third me through having sat in lectures “I’d be shocked but not disgusted- year, Downing with them and him through having we’re all adults after all” marked their work as freshers. – Third year, Peterhouse Would you consider it more acceptable As a supervisor myself now, I “I would be slightly worried about the if it were with an academic who can’t possibly imagine getting into probable age-gap” does NOT supervise you? a relationship with one of my stu- – Postgraduate, Sidney Sussex dents, but that may be down to the “I’d think: why isn’t the supervisor “Definitely. It’s way more professional difference between a mid-twenties married?!” on their part and would avoid female and an eighteen-year-old – First year, Robinson awkward situations” – Postgraduate, male versus the opposite. I don’t “Well done to them, St Catharine’s think that there is anything wrong, is the supervisor hot?” “It wouldn’t make much of a difference though, with supervisor-super- – First year, Murray Edwards either way to me” – First year, Corpus visee relationships: at University Christi everyone is a consenting adult. Would you ever consider “I’d say it’s more acceptable, but I’d doing it yourself? still have concerns that, for example, they might supervise me or a friend in “Sure, why not?!” – Second year, the future” – Second year, Peterhouse Magdalene “If two people have chemistry it Postgraduate student “Absolutely not, a supervisor has a doesn’t matter, as long as there’s no responsibility of care” – First year, abuse of the professional relationship” King’s – Third year, Johns WEEK 4 — FEBRUARY 10 2012 SCIENCE 7

Rock CamillaThe d’Angelo chemistry asks if this complicated emotionof love can be understood in of the terms of a set of chemicals found in the brain Week PHYLLITE t is one of the most powerful monogamous relationships, which fi rst and vasopressin are thought to interact and exhilarating states known to revealed a chemical and genetic basis with dopamine to produce the intense Get excited, Heather! This lovely piece of man and for centuries love was to love.  ough humans are more com- feelings of bliss associated with being Phyllite washed up on the shores of the Isle of the domain of artists and poets, plex than voles, human love and vole in love and to promote attachment. Arran – or rather, was gradually subjected depicted as one of the noblest pair-bonding appear to be mediated by  e vole studies led to the amazing to increased heat and pressure. That’s yet most torturous of human evolutionarily conserved brain areas. discovery that monogamy may be asso- right, this is a meta-sediment from the emotions. Fuelled by the advent of  is made voles a useful model for ciated with density of neuropeptide ‘geologist’s paradise’ itself: Ineuroimaging techniques, it’s only in studying this seemingly unique human receptors in reward centres. In male recent years that neuroscientists have emotion. voles diff erent variants of the vaso- Arran of the many stags fi nally begun to unravel the complex pressin receptor gene, which predict The sea strikes against her neurochemical signature of this mys- The discovery that love diff erent concentrations of the recep- shoulders, terious phenomenon. Is love merely ‘ tor in the brain, determine whether a Companies of men can feed a cocktail of chemical events in the involves the activation male will bond with a female. there, brain? Moreover, increasing vasopressin Blue spears are reddended It was a series of seminal experiments of powerful reward receptor density in the non-monoga- among her boulders. on prairie voles, one of the few spe- circuitries supports the mous montane vole by viral vector gene cies that, like humans, form life-long transfer renders them monogamous. It developed on the high ground, and is idea that its evolutionary Evidence from a 2008 Swedish study thus of Dalradian stock. When the islanders fi rst FAQS suggests that receptor density may unearthed it they cried: ‘Breathnaíonn sé cosúil le role is to help the survival also determine human LIZZIE MARX Have voles been used in any other bróg go holc tharraingt!’ monogamy: in men, Joseph White important scientifi c studies? of the species through variation in the vaso- I don’t think so attachment’ pressin receptor gene predicted variation Why are there non-monogamous in marital status and voles when all voles look the same?  e studies revealed that oxytocin relationship quality. Voles cheating on eachother isn’t just because of the way they look! and the related hormone vasopressin The discovery Personality obviously has a role to are key chemicals mediating long-term that love play. bonding, be it romantic or mater- involves the nal. Whereas oxytocin acts mainly in activation TAKE FIVE How long does a vole live for? females, vasopressin stimulates bond- of powerful Rarely longer than 12 months. ing in males.  is was shown using reward cir- oxytocin and vasopressin receptor cuitries How many litters does a vole have antagonists, which abolished monog- supports per year? amous behaviour in female and male the idea that its Voles are great for 5–10. prairie voles respectively. Oxytocin’s evolutionary role studying long-term Herbal aphrodisiacs role in attachment is well known; it is to help the sur- animal relations. They Viagra How many baby voles per litter? promotes mother-infant bonds and vival of the species aslo make for great An old favourite, you may not know Litters average 5–10 young its release during sexual intimacy is through attachment.  e illustrations. that this drug is also used as a cure thought to strengthen the emotional neuroscience of love is far for pulmonary arterial hypertension. Jesus, that’s a lot of voles. tie between partners. from poetic, but it may one day change So whether you’re suffering from Yeah, a lot of work for the mother. Both neuropeptides bind to recep- the way we bond through pharmaco- erectile dysfunction, or being too Who cares though? They’re voles. tors located in the brain’s reward logical manipulation of love circuitry. Pseudoscience aside, in the future good in bed is stressing you out, Nobody likes voles. circuitry, regions rich in the neu- The market is already rife with expect oxytocin-based love drugs to Viagra can lend a ‘That is true’ - Varsity’s Film Editor rotransmitter dopamine. Known as the purported love potions the likes boost romantic relationships and even helping hand. India Ross. “feel good” chemical, dopamine medi- of Enhanced Liquid Trust, an oxytocin receptor antagonists as anti- ates the rewarding eff ects of food and oxytocin-based nasal spray that sup- love drugs to suppress attachment. sex as well as the euphoric eff ects of posedly enhances trust and relationship Have we fi nally conquered one of the drugs such as cocaine. So, oxytocin formation. most elusive of human emotions? Phenylethylamine One of the chemicals related to the Ignore the media storm pleasurable sensations that result This week in Not-Sci, Jonathan Lawson advises us not from eating chocolate. Lacking love to fear the extinction of the human race by meteors or still suffering from an awful RAG Blind Date? You know where to turn. pace rocks have fascinated we are better prepared for potential controllers’ selected by you; whether humans since long before they asteroid collisions than ever before. Devil’s Weed by James Vincent they’re friends on facebook or were fi rst suggested as a cause Many countries around the world, A herbal aphrodisiac primarily for Online Editor famous tweeters.  e problem is that for the extinction of the dino- including the UK and the US, have women, it is utilized for infertility this system becomes a closed loop Ssaurs.  roughout history, the passage near Earth object (NEO) tracking pro- and low libido in men also. It goes where only your own interests are of asteroids and other leftovers from the grammes which continually monitor under many names, the offi cial relevant. It’s a process happening early solar system have been a source the skies for threats.  ey also model name of the species is Tribulus he internet is turning into all over the web: on Google, for of fascination and wonder to mankind. the movement of any bodies they Terrestris, but Devil’s Weed is much a TV. Not in the video-on- example, personalised search results However, recent popular culture has fi nd, and therefore we can predict the more exciting. demand, iPlayer and 4oD will eventually ignore opinions you distorted these perfectly natural events approach path of any objects close to way,T nor by simply becoming the disagree with; eg, if you search for into a source of fear and terror. the Earth. Chaste Tree Berry entertainment hub of the household; news items and only ever click on In January an 11 metre asteroid Even without human responses, Chaste tree berry extract is believed I mean that the formats, the systems left-leaning websites eventually Earth is well protected from extra-ter- to exert its clinical action through its through which you access content, Google will stop showing you results restrial impacts. Our thick atmosphere dopaminergic effects on the anterior are slowly merging. with a right-wing slant. Why bother, generates huge frictional forces when pituitary. Sexy. TV has mimicked the ‘interactivity’ if you won’t click? things enter at high speed, which causes of the web with all that red-button In this way the internet is gently spacecraft to heat up during re-entry. Pausinystalia rubbish, but the internet - thanks to folding itself around the individual; How close to Earth an asteroid came in  is also destroys smaller space debris yohimbe the infl uence of media conglomerates becoming a cosy little cube, plastered 60,000January long before they hit the surface. In order Formerly and corporate profi teering - is with personalised adverts and to have any serious global eff ects, it has known as now taking lessons from the ‘box. populated by yes-men applauding been predicted that we would need to Corynanthe  e lesson is simple: people are your politics.  e internet is a tool passed within 60 000 kilometres of collide with a rock several kilometres yohimbe, it is lazy - they want to be told what to of infi nite potential but it is slowly Earth, inciting a fl urry of media atten- across for any sizeable fragments to a psychoactive consume. TV schedulers have long becoming yet another shop-front tion, yet this was the only noticeable actually hit the ground. plant which known this, slotting in ‘educational’ for big businesses who have learnt eff ect to the planet. We think of aster- Each of these ‘near-misses’ teaches us contains that programs after more populist ones, that personalisation = monetization; oids as instigators of mass extinction more about the workings of our solar well-known tryptamine alkaloid but putting such power in the hands whether through adverts or products. events but the truth is that ‘near-misses’ system, and helps to further safeguard ‘Yohimbine’. It is widely distributed of a single individual is troubling. ‘ row away your internet’ is a song like this occur, on average, every year. humanity against going the same way as over-the-counter as an herbal In many ways the internet has that hopefully won’t be written for a In fact, another similar body passed the dinosaurs. aphrodisiac, which is why the name answered this problem by providing while, but it’s worth bearing in mind even closer to Earth less than seven is so recognisable. a greater number of ‘content- next time you log in. months ago. Not-Sci is produced by BlueSci, the Cambridge Helen Cahill University science magazine from Varsity Modern technology also means that 8 neWs fEbRuaRy 10 2012 — WEEk 4 “Ever your affectionate father, Charles Dickens” by John Jarman Maths at Cambridge. Beginning “My bottles of wine and sherry, six bottles NEWS CORRESPONDENT Dear Harry,” the message outlines of brandy, and two dozen bottles of practical considerations surrounding port. A £25 cheque accompanies the Cambridge University this week his £250 annual allowance. Dickens letter, and we can only assume that unveiled a letter written by Charles is quick to warn his son about spend- this was to cover the cost of a visit to Dickens to his 19-year-old son, just ing: “I strongly recommend you to buy the Cindies of 1864. as he was starting life as a Cambridge nothing in Cambridge.” While happy to fund his eighth son undergraduate. Taken in the context of the recent through a Cambridge education, Dick- Arriving after his matriculation at tuition fee increases, and increasingly ens Senior still makes clear that he Trinity Hall in October 1864, the letter large student loans, some of Dickens’ wants to see a return on his investment. offers the collected advice and wisdom words begin to take on an edge of He reminds his son of the hardships of his father, as well as addressing sev- irony. “Now observe attentively,” the that he had to endure as a child, forced eral practical issues that will seem neat cursive text urges. “We must have into work at the age of twelve after his familiar to many of today’s students. no shadow of debt.” family spiralled into debt. Penned while the great author was Dickens also shows concern for his Charles goes on to reiterate his staying at a hotel in Liverpool, the son’s social life; the missive mentions great expectations: “I trust to your letter shows some of Dickens’ concern a consignment of alcohol bound for improving the advantages of your for his son’s wellbeing while studying Trinity Hall, including a total of 72 past expensive education,” he writes, though reminding his son that he is What the dickens? always able to confide in him. “You will never find me hard with you while you 1 Dickens had ten children, and all 4 Dickens’ surname initiated as are manly and truthful.” but one survived into adulthood. a curse, used for the first time in The letter was donated to Trin- Shakespeare’s play ‘The Merry Wives 2 Dickens spent three years studying ity Hall by Christopher Dickens, one of Windsor’. at Wellington House Academy in of Harry’s grandchildren, and this 5 In 1824 Dickens’ father, John London, but apart from this he was announcement coincides with the The letter Charles Dickens sent to his son matriculating at Cambridge is being revisited Dickens, was imprisoned in the largely self-educated. 200th anniversary of Charles Dickens’ Marshalsea Debtor’s Prison in birth, which fell on 7 February 2012 published in June 2012. Speaking of w a n t s .” 3 Dickens was involved in creating Southwark, London. and celebrated nationally. the letter, she said: “The letter speaks She then went on to add: “It is also a home for ‘fallen women’, Urania 6 Dickens’ wife Catherine’s younger Dr Jan-Melissa Schramm, fellow in very powerfully to the parents of stu- very poignant the way that Dickens House, where former prostitutes sister Mary moved in with the English at Trinity Hall, has written two dents today, not only about caring for advises his son about the perils of get- could learn to read and write, as well couple, and later died in Dickens’ books about author and editor Charles their children’s spiritual well-being, ting into debt, which of course meant as keep house. arms in 1837. Dickens, the second of which will be but also about supplying their material a great deal to him in his childhood.” Selwyn’s spat with Sentamu is defined as being between a man and a woman, arguing that the definition of marriage has changed “throughout history” and that its modern under- standing as an expression of love “should be equally applicable to both homosexual and heterosexual couples”. The proposal to publish an open letter on the subject was initially brought before the JCR committee by LGBT officer Lewis Bartlett. Bartlett told Varsity that he felt by making his comments public the Archbishop had invited debate on the matter, in which it was important for Selwyn students to be involved. “As a notable alumnus of Selwyn, the Jesus JCR to vote Archbishop represents the college on a public platform and as his views don’t align with the current undergraduates we thought it was important for our over living wages views to be publicly stated in opposi- tion to his.” by Jonny Barlow with advocates citing drops in absen- The proposed publishing of the NEWS CORRESPONDENT teeism and increased productivity as letter was put to a JCR open meet- benefits to employers of implementa- ing on Sunday, in which students had This Monday, the Jesus College Student tion. The campaign also got a boost the opportunity to debate the content Union followed Emmanuel, in passing a when it became Labour party policy at of the letter. After a vote, the motion motion calling for all college employees the last general election. passed to the stage of college-wide to be paid at least the living wage. Accordingly, the president of the Cam- referendum. Currently, this level is £7.20 per hour bridge University Labour Club and After 24 hours of voting the bill nationwide, rising to £8.30 in London, Jesuan, Richard Johnson, having pro- passed with 155 votes – 65% of the vote and is often cited by advocates of the posed the motion, tweeted that he was Archbishop Sentamu’s comments have outraged students at Selwyn, his alma mater in favour, and 27% against. The turnout measure as the minimum level required “Really proud that undergraduates at was high at over 59%. to support a family of four. my college (Jesus) voted tonight to sup- by Hannah Wilkinson for a long time and then overnight the “I’m very glad that the majority of The possibility of a Cambridge-specific port a Living Wage for all college staff”. NEWS CORRESPONDENT state believes it could go in a particular Selwyn undergraduates support mar- living wage reflecting the local cost of He later told Varsity: “Tonight’s motion w a y.” ital equality – it says a lot that the living, along the lines of that currently was an affirmation that students want Selwyn College undergraduates have The Archbishop gave his opinion on current youth are in support of legali- calculated by Oxford City Council, was to ensure that the staff who make our voted to publish an open letter con- same-sex marriage in an interview with sation,” Bartlett said of the victory. noted in the proposal. colleges such great places in which to cerning recent comments of the the Daily Telegraph, prompting demon- The governments of both England This motion concerns only casual staff, live and study have a decent quality of college’s notable alumnus, Archbishop strations from gay rights campaigners, and Scotland have announced consulta- not on a fixed contract, as the college life. John Sentamu. including one outside York Minster. tions on the issue of same-sex marriage, was last week able to confirm toVarsity “Students have more influence on the The letter, which will be sent to the Sentamu pointed out in an interview with the consultation in Scotland elic- that no permanent staff were paid less living wage than I think many of them Archbishop today, asks him to recon- with the Telegraph that he didn’t object iting over 50,000 responses. than the living wage. realise.” sider comments made last month, to the introduction of civil partnerships Current Prime Minister David Cam- The Jesus JSCU president commented Moreover, the Living Wage Founda- in which he compared the proposed by the House of Lords in 2004, going on eron has also spoken out publicly in that “students and staff at Jesus have a tion is keen to stress the broad levels of legalisation of same-sex marriage to to say: “We supported civil partnerships favour of supporting gay marriage, great relationship. It’s good to be able to support for the move from across the the actions of a ‘dictator’. because we believe that friendships are announcing to the Conservative Party affirm how important college staff are political spectrum, noting that the cam- He stated: “We’ve seen dictators do good for everybody.” conference last year: “I don’t support and that we care about their working paign has a “vocal champion” in Boris it, by the way, in different contexts and The letter published by Selwyn gay marriage despite being a Conser- conditions.” Johnson, and quoting David Cameron I don’t want to redefine very clear social undergraduates also questions the vative. I support gay marriage because The campaign for the living wage is one referring to the move as “an idea whose structures that have been in existence Archbishop’s statement that marriage I’m a Conservative.” with considerable national momentum, time has come”. WEEK 4 — FEBRUARY 10 2012 NEWS 9

INTERVIEW Helena Kennedy The barrister, broadcaster and Labour member of the House of Lords speaks to Helen Charman about her recent CRAASH lectures, the need for feminism and voting against her party

nterviewing Helena Kennedy, Sometimes the last mile is the hard- QC, Baroness Kennedy of the est mile”. She also emphasises the fact Shaws, is an intimidating pros- that we should continue to question the pect. Not only is she a formidable presence of any injustices in the system, legal, political and broadcasting and also query why it has taken such presence, the chair of numerous a long time for the barriers faced by councils and commissions, a member women to begin to be dismantled. She Iof the board of the British Museum and states that, ultimately, the legal system principal of Mansfi eld College, Oxford and the confi guration of our society but she is also something of a personal itself “was a system created by men, hero. Baroness Kennedy is in Cam- with men in mind, and you really now bridge to give a series of lectures for the have to reconfi gure the system to make Cambridge Centre for Research in the it conducive to the lives of both women Arts, Social Sciences and Humanities and men today”. entitled e Illusion of Inclusion: Women Kennedy is matter of fact in her dis- Helena Kennedy giving her lecture as Humanitas visiting speaker for CRASSH, at the Mill Lane lecture rooms on Tuesday and the Law’. In this she revisits the issue cussion of the issues she is passionate of women’s rights in a constantly shift- about, and has devoted her legal career believe people run out and commit party, with a dissent rate of 33.3%. Ken- ing, increasingly globalised world that to combating, and is adamant that “this rape because they’ve seen porno- HELENA BY NUMBERS nedy may now be offi cially sitting in she fi rst dealt with in her 1993 book Eve is not just a women’s issue: it’s a men’s graphic fi lms, but I do think you end opposition, but she acknowledges wryly 1950 Helena Kennedy was born was Framed: Women and British Justice. issue too, and it’s ultimately about qual- up in some ways coarsening the way that “the truth is, I was always in oppo- in Glasgow, the daughter of ity of life”. In her career as a barrister in which people relate, and there is an sition”. She still believes fervently that committed Labour activists. ‘We have a duty and a Kennedy has focussed specifi cally on addictive quality to the ease of access the erosion of civil liberties and legal the legal and civil rights of women, to pornography now, and it becomes 24 At 24 she opened her own rights that occurred under Blair’s gov- responsibility to speak for time and time again coming up against relentless and takes over their thinking practice. ernment were inherently wrong and are women who haven’t had sexual and domestic violence as key in terms of how to relate to women. It 33.3% At 33.3% Helena Kennedy now entrenched in law, going on to sug- issues. She pronounces the statistics destroys the mutuality of pleasure in has the highest dissent rate of any gest that “the political class in Britain educational opportunities’ on rape conviction “shocking”, noting sexual intimacy”. peer in the House of Lords. has lost the trust of the population”. She that part of the issue is society’s attitude Baroness Kennedy was born in Glas- 2011 Kennedy became principal of observes that people have begun to rea- towards women as a whole: “so much gow, and identifi es herself as being from Mansfi eld College , Oxford lise that “there is an incredible amount Helena Kennedy is clearly used to that happens in courts is unacceptable, a working class background, and this of power that lies outside of the nation being interviewed, and she is a gifted and it is because of the mythology of informs her commitment to standing only all right to be independent as long state. Due to globalisation the ‘money public speaker, used to clarifying and women ‘asking for it’”. up for equality: “I feel incredibly privi- as you articulate women’s eff orts to be men’ often have far more power than standing up for her point of view. She Equally, she observes that problems leged, although from a working class equal in a way that is not threatening”. any elected government”. needs no encouragement to initiate are posed by “the blurred edges of any- background, to have had the kind of Only 20% of the House of Lords is Helena Kennedy is an indomitable discussion on the issue of women and thing connected to sex, because people education that has changed my life, and female, and Kennedy is in a minority in public speaker, and her belief in the the law, acknowledging the fact that in bring so much baggage to it”. She goes we have a duty and a responsibility to her position as a Labour Peer. She is also importance of the fi ght for women’s the almost two decades since she fi rst on to talk about how the “crisis of mas- speak for those who haven’t had those a minority in another way, however: she rights is both unswerving and prag- published Eve was Framed many issues culinity” hasn’t lessened as equality has opportunities.” is the peer in the House of Lords who matic: with a champion such as her that faced women have at least begun to increased, saying that “I do blame a lot When asked if she would consider votes the most frequently against her there is hope for the equality cause. be addressed. Kennedy notes that even of it on the commodifi cation of sex, herself to be a feminist she answers just the acknowledgment that there was the way our lives centre around money yes without any hesitation, and goes discrimination in place is a step for- and the way in which there has been a on to talk about the problem of young ward: “I’ve seen women’s issues come coarsening of our world due to the easy women being unwilling to embrace the up the agenda and now it is fi nally gen- access to pornography and the way in term. Feminism has to a certain extent erally accepted that all was not well”. which it normalises abuse”. become a kind of dirty word, and Ken- By no means, however, has the battle Kennedy has always taken a liberal nedy believes “the media has been for equality been won, with Kennedy stance on pornography, which she successful in demonising feminism”, stating that “a lot has certainly hap- maintains, but she does believe that it particularly in the UK: “In Britain there pened, and there has been a lot of is a contributing factor to the damage has been a co-option of the idea of the shifting of the sands, but not enough. society imparts upon women: “I don’t independent woman, saying that it’s Looking for work this summer? University of Cambridge International In-phall-ible snow artistry desends on Cambridge Summer Schools can offer 4-7 weeks work for Cambridge undergraduate Of course, the recent Cambridge erect height of 10’9” and currently giant snow penis, St John’s is having and graduate students. snowfall brings with it the Inter lead the competition, trailed by: trouble getting it up. Collegiate Snow Penis Competition. Pembroke(6’3”), Meanwhile, King’s has boycotted £250 per week plus college  e blizzard on Saturday night kicked Downing(5’9”), the patriarchal event and its imperial off proceedings as the Christ’s College Selwyn(5’7”), measuring units. accommodation. team worked through a blizzard until Queen’s(5’2”) Instead they sculpted a formidable 1am to erect a respectable fi ve foot Trinity(2’6”). vagina (10m,68cm). King’s has phallus (5’10”). “Penis Pending” is the message since been disqualified from the For details call network: 60850 Christ’s had scrounged twigs for from most colleges who are having competition. or 01223 760850 pubes; a detail the judges are certain trouble fi nishing off . Sadly, despite A King’s student told Varsity “blah to appreciate.Christ’s came too strenuous efforts throughout the blah blah King’s radical history blah or email: [email protected] early however, by sunrise Newnham night, help from senior fellows, and blah blah political correctness gone submitted a sculpture with a mighty much boasting over the year of their mad.” Angus Hackdonald

Varsity AD 2012.pdf 1 04/01/2012 12:59:54 10 NeWS WeaTHer february 10 2012 — week 4 Dancing to distraction cambriDge A man has been jailed for stealing women’s mobile phones while appearing to grind against them in Lola Lo. In pictures: snow hits Cambridge Wassil Bouarea danced up to unsus- by Danielle Guy the highest temperatures in the UK was centre and the vast majority of tourists Churchill College was met with three pecting revellers in the club, distracting News CorrespoNdeNt a truly beautiful sight. scared off by the weather reports, stu- stranded students from King’s, Peter- them to the degree that he could then It really was a pleasure to trudge dents donned their wellies and woolly house and Homerton making an thieve their phones. One female victim As the snow fell on Cambridge, students through Cambridge on Sunday morn- hats to face the cold and make snow impressively large snowman, a man told police she noticed Bouarea danc- abandoned the library and returned to ing, as hundreds of hardworking angels. skiing across the sports pitches, and ing close to her and her friends and their childhood all around the city, in a Cambridge students had for even a On Saturday night, as the snow began the children of some of the mature stu- then, when checking for her phone, glorious mix of snowball fights, sledg- short time abandoned their books and to fall, students started impromptu dents making snowmen and sledging realised it had gone. ing and snowmen building. escaped the library to run around in the snowball fights. Lorna Douthwaite down the slopes on the upper playing The 23 year old was arrested on 27 After several hours of heavy snow- snow. claimed, “It was fantastic because it was fields. Other students spent five hours January and was found to have seven fall on Saturday night Cambridge was Students ran carefree across the grass so spontaneous – we were on our way constructing a very impressive igloo. stolen phones on his person. Appear- covered in a thick blanket of snow mea- in St John’s, three fantastically jolly back from the bar to do some work, Even if the carefree attitude only lasts ing in Cambridge Magistrates’ Court suring up to 15 centimeters in some snowmen emerged guarding the gates and it wasn’t until an hour later that we as long as the snow, at least it offered he pleaded guilty to stealing and was areas. Whilst more northern parts of of St. Catz and the Hepworth Statue at made it back inside, covered in snow a welcome mid-term break for many sentenced to four weeks in prison. the country had not much to celebrate Churchill was converted into a giant and freezing cold – but hey, it doesn’t students who momentarily forgot the The court also heard that immigration about their miserly fog and drizzle, the snowball shield. Whilst the normal snow every day!” pressures and demands of work and authorities may detain him once he region which normally boasts some of buzz of bikes was silenced in the city A Sunday morning walk around had fun in the snow with their friends. has served his sentence. cambridge lights the way cambriDge Cambridge scientists say they have developed a new type of solar cell that will drastically increase the efficiency of solar panels. Scientists at the University’s Caven- dish Laboratory say that their solar cell will increase solar panels’ efficiency by up to 25%. Current solar panels are unable to capture all of the sunlight and a lot of what they do catch is lost to heat. This means that solar panels cannot convert more than 34% of sunlight into electri- cal energy. The team, led by Professor Neil Greenham and Professor Sir Richard Friend, have developed a hybrid cell which can absorb red light and use the energy from blue light to create the extra current. Now they can generate two electrons for every blue photon rather than just one electron. As a result, the new solar cells could cap- ture up to 44% of sunlight. global warming behind cold snap eUrOPe Scientists have claimed that the recent cold snap across most of Europe is a result of global warming. Experts believe melting Arctic sea ice has exposed large areas of usu- ally frozen ocean to the atmosphere above causing complex wind patterns to alter. They believe that this has led to high-pressure weather system over northern Russia and with the cold easterly winds, have caused the freeze across Europe. The relatively mild westerly winds that have kept Britain ice free for much of the winter are being blocked by this area of high-pressure over Russia, leading to the bitter wintry conditions of the past week. Punts for the public cambriDge The Varsity Hotel has applied for permission to allow their customers to get a punt direct from the hotel rather than through one of Cam- bridge’s many punt touts. Using the boardwalk in front of the River Bar as a pontoon, they also hope to open up their service to members of the public as well as hotel guests. The news follows a crackdown on punt touts with the council last year announcing that licenses will be needed to operate punt tours. Pressurised sales tactics and accumulating rubbish by the side of the river have led to riverside businesses demanding action against the touts. There are currently six official stations for punt operators and the hotel will need to allay fears of congestion as well as rubbish in order to receive permission. week 4 — february 10 2012 WEATHER NEWS 11

Thank you to all of those who contributed photographs. 12 PERSPECTIVES FEBRUARY 10 2012 — WEEK 4 “There is always some madness in love. But there is always some reason in madness” Friedrich Nietzsche

an opportunity for transatlantic compari- son in the world of Western attitudes to romance. I learnt a lot during that trip. Firstly, on a slightly divergent note, that one should never expect too much from hotel e romantic’s staff . “I’m sorry, I’ve never seen an interna- tional stamp before” and “I’m sorry, I don’t follow US politics” were among two of the most provocative encounters I had with the short-tempered trout behind the desk. recession LUISA FILBY Anyway, back to love. And my word do they have some over there. “Oh my God, I An investigation into the rise of love your accent”, “Oh my God, I love your pants”. Oh my God, get a room . emotional infl ation, the cheapening Reading “I only wish to be the fountain of love from which you drink. Alone I currency of love and the diffi culties of climb, but get nowhere. With you, I reach new heights” to the tune of a tinny, syn- romance in the modern era thesised sax rendition of Mariah Carey’s ‘Without You’ off an electronic Valentine’s card off set a distinct feeling of nausea in any of you, like hard over the last few decades. We will be my cynical stomach. And an advert for myself, may be strug- exploring, with correctness, curiosity and christianmingle.com with the tag line ‘fi nd gling at this stage not an exacting critical eye, the causes and God’s match for you’ was just the icing on to sprint off , switch eff ects of  e Romantic’s Recession, other- the cake. off , or throw a mas- wise known as  e Great Transgression of So it’s not just the economy suff ering sive strop at the very Romance. Or some other pun of an equally from hyperinflation these days. Plastic mention of the bleedin’ recession. If I shameful nature. hearts and empty words have evidently hear one more peep about another credit  e Great Transgression of Romance become the new twenty-first century Mcrunch, double dip, or any other maxim of can be dated back to a date perhaps some trading chips in the cheapened currency economic jargon for that matter which just time ago in the previous century. Some of Love. Love has become a ridiculously so happens to sound like a potential-choco- time around then, at least. And though suff ocating under masses of soppy, sicken- overused word, a cog in a great commercial late-bar-name… (Infl ation – the new Aero? modern experts are still divided in their ‘Plastic hearts and empty ing prose (if we can even call it that) as we enterprise, degraded by new technologies Just a thought.) opinions about the exact root of the reces- walk into shops and are confronted with and mass-marketing. Anyway, I digress. For what I actually sion, several fi elds of theory point towards words have evidently declarations of love from laminate cards, Sure, Valentine’s in itself is an illusory set out to moa-comment about this week  e Great Technological Revolution as a become the new twenty- chocolate boxes and heart-shaped, well, holiday, for ‘love’ isn’t just about one day, takes the term ‘recession’ down a brand catalyst for said decline in romantic output anythings. All of a sudden, everyone loves making a show and joining the hordes of new, exhilarating path of emotional angst and stagnation of creative gesturing and fi rst century trading us. other hungry couples eagerly awaiting and insurgence. I will be taking the forth- heart-felt declarations. However, the delivery of such senti- their substandard, overpriced lovebirds coming celebration of Valentine’s Day as an In not so many words, we should blame chips in the cheapened ments leaves much to be desired, and little set menu (I think I’ll have the scallop). But opportunity to reject all things economic, the ruddy internet, the mobile telephone, currency of Love’ to the imagination. Valentine’s ‘syndrome’ has in fact become and explore an even more pressing global bloody mass media and the fl ipping tele- Observations from my fi rst round of a very real phenomenon which pervades phenomenon – the death, boys and girls, vision for the state in which the world of scrimp on romance; it’s time wasting, not Cambridge-based market research revealed our every-day attitudes to romance and of modern day romance. Take that, steely romance fi nds itself today. For how can we a guaranteed success, and if you’re not a, well, provocative array of romantic dec- relationships, and is worth considering. bankers. ever hope to miss someone enough to con- the next Shakespeare or Edith Pilaf, the larations to say the least. From examples of  is is all, of course, a harsh generali-  us, I hope that this fast approach- jure up a ten-page letter of abstract devotion, chances are that any grand gesture of great bribery: “Be my valentine and I’ll show you sation of pop culture as we know it. Not ing Hallmark holiday of Lovey-dovey of universal promises and heart-felt ado- sentiment is going to actually leave you my tits” to blunt-faced honesty: “I’ve heard everyone is an ILY kinda guy, and people Day which has sparked said lament will rations, when a boy is never more than a looking less like Casanova and more like you’re easy. You’ll do”, alongside other elo- could be doing something a damn sight provide the perfect opportunity for even phone call away? Where’s the romance in a a bit of a wally. quently-put phrases: “I love you like well worse with their time than celebrating a those of you allergic to numbers and/or three-word text, or an all-singing, all danc- Valentine’s Day does of course, however, loads”, “I love you like a fat kid loves cake”, day of love. current aff airs to jump on board the trusty ing e-card, for crying out loud? appear to be the grand exception to this “wanna take a stroll in my lady garden”, it And sometimes, just sometimes, we’re nag-wagon that is recession-themed- Long gone are the days of hand written rule. We seem to fi nd it acceptable to make became more than clear that romance had actually lucky enough not to need to commentary. love notes, of scribbled sweet nothings to up for a year’s worth of romantic neglect died a sad and sorry death. Nowadays, we cheapen a gesture with an overused word So we begin. In honour of the occasion, the tune of Sonnet 116 or John Donne’s by drowning ourselves for one night, and cut straight to the chase: “Forget the fl ow- at all. today we will be taking a look at another Flea. one night only, in the absolutely abhorrent ers. Let’s shag!” Class dismissed. global recession which has hit the world Our fast-paced world has chosen to drivel of mass-produced memorabilia; A trip to California last week provided Emily Fitzell Whatever you say THIS HOUSE BELIEVES THE ARAB SPRING IS A THREAT TO GLOBAL STABILITY

’m a politics student; I’m writing my dissertation on the Arab Spring; he notion that the Arab Spring is a threat to global stability is so it has become extremely boring for me. My dissertation is also ten palpably ludicrous that I’m not even going to condescend to write thousand words long, whereas here I have 300, probably fewer if the about it. It is such a self-evident fact that the Arab Spring did not and lovely Varsity editors decide to make ‘Sisyphus’s punishment’, ‘Uluru’ will not destabilise anything on a global scale – be it social, political, or ‘a fucking massive boulder’ this week’s ‘Rock of the Week’. But, much like or economic – that I see absolutely no reason to discuss it any further. I‘Rock of the Week’, the Arab Spring is both vitally important and a media T ere will, of course, be those among you who will question why I am so ALI LEWIS sensation, therefore I feel I have a duty to my regular readers to compare it bullheadedly refusing to mention the Arab Spring in a column about the Arab to either a piss container or a Jennifer Aniston fi lm, which, at any rate, Spring. You may be asking yourselves: is he doing this because are not poles apart. he found it impossible to make this week’s Union motion However, this week, I, unlike my circumlocutious and funny? Is he doing it because he forgot to write this article undernourished rival, do actually have the outline of a real opinion when he was supposed to and therefore had to do it late, in a on this subject, which is unusual, because anyone who knows me rush, while hung over? Is he doing it because – despite being AHIR SHAH from PPS lectures must’ve met me in Freshers’ week. a Politics student – he knows absolutely balls-all about the Anyway, here we go, real opinion: Firstly, the tendency Arab Spring, and wasn’t even aware before the revolutions towards social networking-based citizen journalism is that half of those countries even existed? forcing political leaders to make decisions quickly and To the people asking those questions, I say: HATERS GON’ under pressure.  is is extremely diffi cult, with potentially HATE. disastrous consequences, as will be well known by anybody  e very suggestion that I would use such tricks to get who’s reached the higher levels of Tetris – the levels where out of having to put forward substantive argumentation the music begins to sound like the heart-rate monitor of a is off ensive, as is the accusation that I would use lengthy Tab editor who’s just found an enthusiastic fresher columnist with and unnecessary rhetorical questions in order to bolster poorly thought-out social opinions. my word count (which at the moment is 237). Secondly, although many of the former leaders of post-Arab I hope that by this point you are entirely convinced Spring countries were authoritarian, repressive, egomaniacal pricks, that the Arab Spring has not threatened global stability, at least they were our authoritarian, repressive, egomaniacal pricks. and in fact, if anything, has made the world more Now we don’t know what we’ve got. stable, like Ritalin worming its way into the system of an Finally, there does seem to be something of a domino eff ect at inquisitive but fundamentally annoying child. work here, wherein the patient, dedicated older brother of Western Join us next week, where I will cut my own penis off leader / Arab leader cronyism has his carefully-stacked pieces and use it like a conch shell to hear the ocean as the baying knocked fl ying by the blundering little brother of 20 per cent food crowds of Versailles chant my name while they descend infl ation. into orgy.  ere: a proper article. I beg to propose. I beg to oppose. WEEK 4 — FEBRUARY 10 2012 PERSPECTIVES 13

Lady-Like A week to annoy thy neighbour FREYA BERRY What place does a promotional religious week hold in a multi-faith student community? When does religious expression start to become condescending? hat is love? I can no longer consider the question without s I’m sure many of you will views and faith being shoved in their yodelling it in my be aware, this week was face or to be told that their own views headW in the style of the immortal Christian week. Each year are wrong. dance tune by Haddaway (no, me around this time, masses of  ere is also the much less prolifi c neither). In any case, I’m not really Astudents can be spotted wearing fl uo- Discover Islam week, which begins concerned with answering that rescent hoodies of the same colour rather timely today. Until this year I question. advertising events such as evening or had not been aware of this week, prob- Instead, this week, let’s look at lunch time talks (free lunch included, ably due to the lack of advertising at the the transfi guring power of love. It which is always enticing to students), beginning of lectures. Its events seem turned the Beast and innumerable the week coming to a climax with a to contrast greatly to those of Christian frogs into handsome princes, and céilidh. In essence, this is a week to dis- week; no underlying themes, rather a a short ugly American calling cuss and promote what it means to be himself Prince into a sex object. a Christian. ‘One talk this week is:  ere is something about love So why does the mere mention of and royals, however superfl uous Christian week tend to draw sighs of Only Jesus Offers... the and balding they are. We all went exasperation from students? It is not Way to God’ crazy for the royal wedding, that most of us are atheist or agnostic. or at least, we were informed Atheists and agnostics are, after all, not simple introduction to Islam. I have King’s Chapel: a focal point of religious activity in Cambridge by the authorities that we did. intrinsically opposed to others having been reliably informed that the Jewish Contributors to Wills and Kate’s a religion.  e answer, sadly, is quite Society holds no equivalent week Furthermore, should the Atheist and would certainly eradicate some of the public marriage book struck an obvious. Firstly, many people do not and that Hindu Soc holds the widely- Agnostic Society hold a week to give more negative aspects of Christian admirably contrary tone with appreciate the constant bombardment popular Mastana each year, an event their side of religion? week. Jesus would no longer be the ‘vast numbers of people couldn’t of advertising that the week gets. which does not push religious beliefs Ultimately it all comes down to that only way to God, but would be a way give the tiniest shit’. Meanwhile, Many also feel that the main mes- and has people from diff erent faiths central principle, ‘love thy neighbour’. to God, with other faiths off ering ways Topshop is currently selling a sage of the week is condescending.  is participating. Due to the nature of Christianity, also. Perhaps that way I would not have jumper for girls emblazoned with week the theme is ‘Real Life’ with one So what role does a religious week believers would argue that they would been asked two years ago “Do you need the empowering slogan ‘Marry talk being ‘Only Jesus Off ers... the Way hold in Cambridge? If we look at the like to be saved from hell and hence rescuing?” me Harry’ (sadly, their charming to God’, a fi rm put-down to any other broad scope of all the diff erent religious we arrive at events such as Christian Certainly to follow the almost uni- range of men’s t-shirts captioned religion. In my fi rst year (2010) the main beliefs represented here, the answer week. However, at least here in Cam- versal religious doctrine of ‘love thy ‘Nice girlfriend, what breed is theme was “Rescued”; I can only assume seems to be little, as only the Chris- bridge, most other faiths appear to be neighbour’, we should respect others’ she?’ has been discontinued). this was from eternal damnation. tian and Islamic Society hold one. If more tolerant of each other, aiming not views and beliefs. It would almost defi - Anyway, I’m not currently The final reason is the nature of the Christian Society can hold such a to convert, but to educate and promote nitely lead to fewer sighs of exasperation stocking up on Reiss dresses and approach taken by the Christian Union; widely publicised event, then surely tolerance. when Christian week is mentioned. cupcake expertise to lure in the most people do not appreciate others’ every other society should be able to?  is more open-minded approach Ciaran McAuley remaining prince. Instead, I’ve spent the week fl icking through Samuel Richardson’s achingly long novel Pamela, the kind of book that erodes your index Cambridge talks fi nger simply by dint of continued Romantic Gestures e RAG Blind Date: page-turning. Pamela – or, Virtue Rewarded as the title-page subtly informs us – is about a maid pursued by her wicked master. A personal history He hides in her wardrobe as she “They’re potentially pretty undresses; attempts to rape her awkward- not really what A painful revisiting of RAG blind date on several occasions; and ends up the Brits go in for!” “Well over here, the doing the right thing by marrying history over the last years, recalling three her.  is is your reward, ladies. Spanish are very open Somehow, love makes all this ok. about their feelings. unsuccessful attempts when looking for love I get that Pamela was written People shout’guapa’ at yonks ago, that men don’t wear tights outside of misguided Gill Harris you down the street, y fi rst was interrupted by RAG Blind Date as a serious attempt themed swaps anymore, and there New Hall and occasionally her boyfriend. She greeted to fi nd a soul mate. After a pity-pint, are no more corseted bosoms something a bit more him with the words: I extricated myself and made my way heaving passionately over fi ne “What the FUCK are you to the second date, which can only bone china. But seriously, ‘virtue obscene, but defi nitely Mdoing here?” after he approached us in be described as “amicable”. Nothing rewarded’ by marrying your not in a romantic way, the Vaults. I sipped my fruity cocktail in happened – not that I had expected would-be rapist? Stuff like this more like a creepy, awkward silence. anything. still goes on in various countries The second was even more awk- By the time I reached my third year, whose governments believe that “Who wouldn’t? Flowers please-stop-looking-at- ward. I had bribed for a girl I had been I decided to take matters into my own having a vagina behind a driving or plants [maybe a cactus me-like-that way. When seeing at the time, only for us to break hand. I became a RAG Blind Date wheel is way out of whack, and you’re out they’re funny things off before the date. Neither of us Rep and gave myself 10 out of 10 in all where parents murder their since it doesn’t need any wanted to face that pitfall, so we mutu- categories (yes, Reps grade you on a daughters for wantonly being seen water? or any plastic as well – I’ve had one ally decided to see if our RAG Blind numerical scale based on outgoingness conversing with a white boy in vegetation], PDA [rampant declaration of love in Date Reps would let us change. Mine and attractiveness). I approached other ‘honour killings’. Yet it’s alarming club. He literally just only agreed to the change on the condi- Reps and ordered them to give me their to see it embedded into our own sex in the library/lecture tion that I date two women (every year best dates. No more girls with boy- literary history. room] and chocolate [or came and stood in front Reps face a shortage of men). Recently friends! No more mature PhD students!  e politics of love cannot be of me and told me he single, I was happy to oblige. I stepped up to the plate and took underestimated. Everyone bangs tiramisu- sugar, coffee on three dates. I contacted them and on about the ‘free love’ of the and alcohol, good for the loved me, and sort of ‘The older student was arranged for us to meet in the same sixties, but this isn’t true. Love second!” stared a bit. It was a bit clearly taking Rag Blind pub, one after the other, giving them can’t be free when half of society awkward if I’m honest! I 45-minute slots to impress me. is ostracised by a large section of Date as a serious attempt  e fi rst girl was pretty, but we just the workforce, or paid less and don’t think they’re used didn’t click: expected to tolerate bottom- to rejection.” to fi nd a soul mate’ Me: “So, what did you do over the patting when they actually do get a holidays?” decent job. Luck was not on my side.  e fi rst Girl A: “I worked in a box factory.” Of course, this work imbalance Lucy Peacock, YA Student form was for my ex girlfriend’s fl at- Me: “Oh... umm – did you do any- still continues.  ere is still a 17% Barcelona mate (I kid you not).  e second was thing else?” pay gap between men and women; Steve Sze, Magdalene only slightly more promising – an older Girl A: “I also worked in a crisps only 10% of FTSE executive student, a mature woman from a grad factory.” directors are female. Don’t call college. Disheartened by my bad luck, I  e second girl was fun, and we still me baby until you’ve readdressed hoped she’d be an alluring cougar. remain in contact. that lot. Happy Valentine’s Day, She wasn’t.  e third was forgettable. everyone. Nevertheless, I dated both that night. I didn’t do RAG Blind Date this year.  e older student was clearly taking Juan Zober de Francisco 14 FEATURES feBruAry 10 2012 — week 4 The sex machine

Kirsty Gray and Katy Browse look at how books that started out in the humble lending libraries of the thirties have adapted to the international market for love stories

his year marks the cen- An astute bargainer, John Boon oversaw An early Mills and Boon tenary of Mills & Boon a “sweetheart deal” on unusually favour- from Sara Seale, top, publications, a company able terms with the American publishers published in 1938: she went synonymous with romance Harlequin Enterprises, ensuring a degree on publishing all the way in its most concentrated of autonomy for the British arm. Mills up to 1976; A book cover form. Yet behind the stale & Boon itself retains a distinct identity from the Japanese branch of plot lines and questionable cover art lies throughout the world. Harlequin. Can you translate a story of unique adaptability and a busi- Such national autonomy has come to this anime fantasy title? T Answers on a postcard ness model as shrewd as any on Wall fashion Harlequin, now a global conglom- Street. When the Boon brothers inherited erate, selling 131 million books a year in the firm it was very much in decline. G.R. 107 international markets and 29 different Mills and Charles Boon, a pair of refugees languages. One of the secrets to their suc- from Methuen, had set up the publish- cess? A strict business model that gives ing house at the turn of the century and its regional editors cut-throat power over right up until the late 1950s, the revenue what appears on their shelves. They pri- from rental libraries and over-the counter oritise customs over characters, situation chain stores like W.H. Smith, and Boots over storyline, commercial value over the Chemist was booming. artistic integrity. With the rise of television, however, the family firm was in dire straits. Rental librar- ‘It is interesting to ponder ies had been a form of entertainment for for 3 months. After this time, any unsold the masses throughout the 1930s. Many whether a housewife copies are withdrawn and pulped. Fans of its wares were more questionable than looking for particular books after this time canonical, and when the libraries fell out of in India is reading must find them second-hand. fashion it was Mills & Boon’s authors that Editors, therefore, can take liberties. In suffered alongside the hardback industry. The Rancher and the order to turn the ‘global’ into the ‘local’, It was then up to the Boon brothers, Alan Runaway Bride‘ romances are transposed across cultural and John ( the latter an alumni of Trinity contexts in a process that Professor Eva Hall) to turn the company into what it Hemmngs Wirtén terms ‘transediting’. is today: an enterprise of global propor- While their novels are idealised, the Beyond their native Canada, and other tions and ferocious selling power. In Great industry that they work in is not; their English-speaking nations, Harlequin Britain alone, one Mills & Boon novel is books are only available to buy in book- publish in Poland, Japan, Brazil and India purchased every two seconds. shops for a month. Then, they are online amongst others. By the time the manuscript reaches the respective publisher’s desk, the author’s job is over and the transediting procedure begins. Sometimes the translation process is sensitive, changing its characters names to those closer to home. Occasionally it is brutal, with the translation abridging the originals radically, censuring and twisting plots. Some western works simply do not translate. We asked several mainstream raunchy America. It is interesting to romance wirters how they thought their ponder whether a housewife in India is books would fair at the hands of interna- reading The Rancher and the Runaway tional editors. Bride (1993), The Texan (2001) or the ulti- “As a writer of BDSM erotica, I do have mate of domestic fantasies, The Cowboy some concerns that other cultures will not Takes a Wife (1992) looking forward to the understand our specific sexual desires,” release of this year’s says Tiffany Reisz. Similarly Mills & Boon has its own inter- While Tiffany might find that her niche national sex appeal. Its lines are rife with market does not exist in more restrained historical romance, the Lord who falls for countries, the system does allows for a the chambermaid and actually marries her. new type of Western export: the sexual Think Cambridge, perhaps set your story stereotype. 200 years back in time and let your word “My books are translated into about 19 count tick over as the ball-gowns disap- different languages in 25 countries,” Joan pear. Think of a pseudonym and then post Johnston, explained. Joan is not one of your manuscript to the London office and Harlequin’s authors, having made the New you might just become an international York Times Bestseller List eight times in best-seller. her 25 year career. Her novels share the If you put it into the Harlequin publish- same basic notions of escapist romanti- ing machine, don’t expect it to look the cism: the woman in trouble, the traitorous same on the other side of transeditation. enemy, the irresistible hero. Their univer- Or if you have a summer spare, it might be sal status, however, does not undermine interesting to see how one niche or another Those Were the Days Those 14th November 1956 the fact that her titles sell a little slice of translates into Polish. were Nintendo fanboys, and regarded andregarded were Nintendo fanboys, extent. At meandmy friends school, my point). but youget Icouldso putitonthis list, the snow. (Actually Iwrote itmyself just today Isaw in written “Halo4 n00bz” is over why superior, fl forums debateame with F much too The Fandom games Menace: loving Jake Harriscontinueshisexplorationofgamingculturewithalookatthezealots ofthegamingworld. of cats. (sometimes) politically.Also;videos acts ofpizza,andmotivatesitself community, thatindulgesinrandom their material.Alsoanactive where usersupvoteanddownvote A massivesociallink-sharingsite, reddit.com with achievementstounlock. game-like, fl complete ash interface, of in java.Allsetafantastic,sort basically acourseinhowtocode visit mightdoyougood.Thissiteis Not ablogper-se, butaregular codecademy.com smiling overthefrontpage. .mp3s. AndwithBeckett’s lovelymug expanding intofi lm andsoundart Anything fromvisualtosoundpoetry, but focusedonavant-gardematerial. Another educationalmediaresource; ubuweb.com Lec. Tic. Imaginedin1969”.Ec. “The Internet 33 Minutes,SettoBeethoven”and include “14Years ofUSWeather in the web!”.Anditis.Currentposts cultural &educationalmediaon Billing itselfas“Thebesetfree openculture.com Exhibit”; excellentstuff. called “MyFavouriteMuseum geekery. Currentlyrunningafeature and generallywell-educated A mixtureofweb-activism,gadgetry boingboing.net e Comic Strip We’re ofitto probably some allguilty VINNY’S TOP 5BLOGS

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Pull out and pin up on your board 1. Charlie in the afternoon Friday Saturday Sunday Monday 10th 11th 12th 13th Fêtes françaises Peepholes, Gentle Friendly Ghostpoet THE HALL, KINGS COLLEGE 9PM; FREE PORTLAND ARMS 8.30-11PM; £5.50 ARU (EAST RD.), DOORS OPEN 7PM; £11 ADV. Pianist Roy Howat performs Chabrier’s As part of Upset the Rhythm’s Kingdom The London-based MC comes to Aubade, Melancolie and Idylle, and tour, these bands team up with a line-up Cambridge with his off-kilter, loopy Chopin’s Nocturne In E. Pre-concert talk that resonates deep within landscape, electronic ditties, and his delightfully 7.45pm, Chetwynd Room (free entry). drawing on forgotten pasts and rambling musings on modern life. 2. Berocca in the faculty. remembered futures in equal measure. MUSIC

e Syrian Bride Midnight in Paris True Romance L1, ASIAN STUDIES FAC., 1.15PM; FREE FISHER BUILDING, ST. JOHN’S 7&10PM; £3 ARCHTECTURE DEPT 7PM; FREE A family deals with the anxieties of a In Woody Allen’s most recent fi lm, an A Valentine’s Day (Eve) Special with wedding day while also confronting the American writer in Paris travels back in ArcSoc fi lm. As it’s a special occasion, political turmoil of the Middle East in this time to the city’s artistic heyday of the there will be a reception with Valentine-

FILM drama, a collaboration between Israeli 1920s. themed refreshments and tunes, starting and Palestinian fi lmmakers. from 6.30 before the fi lm.

Nationalism and the City Big Pink Read Simon Callow 3. e cast of Elektra. CRASSH, 7 WEST ROAD 5-7.30PM; FREE CAMBRIDGE CENTRAL LIBRARY 2-5PM; FREE CAMBRIDGE ARTS THEATRE 7.45; FROM £12.50 Professor Blom Hansen will give the Panel discussion entitled ‘Coincidence Actor and writer Simon Callow reads keynote address to the conference or controversy? LGBT writers sidelined excerpts from his soon to be published Nationalism and the City. Followed by a from this year’s Booker Prize’ featuring biography Charles Dickens and the Great wine reception. comedienne VG Lee and Dr Pauline Theatre of the World, which discusses his Palmer, author of The Queer Uncanny. love of the great writer. TALKS

Bereavement London Assurance Russian Ballet: Giselle ADC THEATRE 11PM; £5 CRIPPS AUDITORIUM, MADGALENE 7.30PM; £4 CORN EXCHANGE 7.30PM; FROM £22.50 (Until 11th Feb) Curtain up and spotlight (Until 12th Feb) Dion Boucicault was Adolphe Adam’s ballet of love, betrayal, on six characters as they blunder through author of dozens of successful plays, of ghosts and vengeance; choreographed Bereavement’s funny little cabaret, which only a handful survive. London by Jean Coralli and revised by Marius trying to make sense of grief and the Assurance opened at Covent Garden in Petipa. 4. Christ’s Pieces obscured by the snow. VIEW unexpected extras it throws up. 1841 and was the hit of the season.

POD: God is dead? EAT: Loch Fyne READ: Small is Beautiful WWW.GUARDIAN.CO.UK/AUDIO 37 TRUMPINGTON STREET CB2 1QY BY E. F. SCHUMACHER (1973) What did Nietzsche mean by the death (From 11th Feb) Loch Fyne is offering This radical challenge to the 20th of God? Benjamen Walker and guests a special Valentine’s brunch this century’s intoxication with mass market explore the legacy of the German weekend, including either Bucks Fizz or methods – what Schumacher described philosopher’s statement. champagne, for £15. Treat yourself! as “gigantism” – has never held more resonance than it does today. STAY IN STAY

Secret Porter’s Ball Not What I Call Kambar 5. King’s looking Narnia-esque. CAMBRIDGE UNION 7.30PM; PRICE TBC FEZ 10PM; £3 BEFORE 11, £4 AFTER Three hours of the best of Cambridge’s Strict dress code of ‘full on carnival’. comedy scene with special guest Flamingo head pieces and bejewelled appearances followed by a live music bars, string vests and pea whistles please. after party. All profi ts go to Amnesty International. GO OUT

6. Dancing at the desk. 1. The Fountain 3. Grand Arcade car park 5. The Cam I loved The Fountain even before Forget Castle Mound, here you’ll Sometimes I get the urge to jump its trendy revamp, back when fi nd the best view over the whole into the river, fully-clothed, for a My Cambridge it was home to a bunch of odd- of Cambridge. swim. Unfortunately it’s harder looking thirty year olds attempting than it looks to swim in shoes. The to relive their youth. 4. Antique Shop punters tend to look a bit scared Week Here I bought a framed portrait when they see me clinging onto 2. Roundabout of a rather stern looking, bearded the sides of their boat. SOPHIE CRAWFORD Speaking of returns to youth, man. I haven’t checked the back 3RD YEAR, GIRTON the roundabout on Midsummer yet to see if he has a name – it’s Bob Winslow, Peterhouse, 3rd year Common is my preferred method. more exciting not to know. Architect. MIXED UP ■ QUEEN OF What better way to show INGREDIENTS METHOD HEARTS your Valentine you care than Pomegranate seeds 1. Place one or two lychees with a lurid pink cocktail? Lychee fruit (canned) and a few pomegranate 1 part gin seeds in a martini glass. Pouring it over your 1 part lychee juice OLIVER REES scantily clad self (see 1 part fresh grapefruit juice 2. Combine the gin, lychee left) is optional, but Ice juice, grapefruit juice, and like Lana Del Rey. I like Lizzie Grant. Everyone recommended. ice in a shaker. seems to be giving her a hard time at the minute ■ Recipe is also easily YOU WILL NEED for not being authentic enough (including Var- adapted for singletons – Martini glass 3. Shake and strain the Isity… shhh), which I think is a little bit self-righteous simply triple the gin. You’ll Cocktail shaker cocktail into the martini and stupid, though I can understand it. In the spirit be alright. glass over the fruit. of authenticity, though, I think I should confess a number of things. One. I do not take the pictures in this column. Two. I don’t think that Varsity should have themes, because it is a newspaper. Now that is out of the way, and I am as authentic as I can be, I can talk about love, which is, after all, the theme of Monday Tuesday Wednesday ursday this paper. 13th 14th 15th 16th Ghostpoet Bach Organ Recital Clare Music Society ARU (EAST RD.), DOORS OPEN 7PM; £11 ADV. THE CHAPEL, MAGDALENE 1.15PM; FREE WEST ROAD CONCERT HALL 8PM; £5 The London-based MC comes to Throughout 2012 Anne Page will be CCMS perform Joseph Haydn’s The Cambridge with his off-kilter, loopy playing all of J.S. Bach’s organ works in Creation. Soloists are Maud Millar, electronic ditties, and his delightfully 23 concerts on 14 organs in Cambridge Nicholas Mogg and Stefan Kennedy. rambling musings on modern life. colleges and churches.

VARSITY STOPPED SOME STUDENTS AS THEY WADED THROUGH THE SLUSH TO ASK THEM: ‘WHO IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PERSON IN YOUR LIFE?’. True Romance A Separation Drive ARCHTECTURE DEPT 7PM; FREE MCCRUM LEC. THEATRE 8PM; FREE FISHER BUILDING, ST. JOHN’S 9PM; £3 I love Lana Del Rey, and think you should too. A Valentine’s Day (Eve) Special with Presented by Corpus Films. Complex Though a loner by nature, Driver (Ryan I didn’t think her performance on Saturday Night ArcSoc fi lm. As it’s a special occasion, Iranian drama about a broken marriage Gosling) falls in love with his beautiful Live was that great, and I don’t really like her lips there will be a reception with Valentine- and social class. Tipped to win the Oscar neighbor Irene (Carey Mulligan), a or the fact that she wasn’t honest about her back- themed refreshments and tunes, starting for Best Foreign Language Film. vulnerable young mother troubled by the ground. But I think that is what love is meant to from 6.30 before the fi lm. return of her ex-convict husband. be like. Loving people is a risk, because it is trying to make out that a person is perfect. If there was a graph of words you could say to make someone seem perfect, love would be pretty high up; like “oh, Lord Douglas Hurd Sam Zarafi , Amnesty Royal Manuscripts that girl is so great, I love her.” CAMBRIDGE UNION 7.30PM International FITZWILLIAM MUSEUM 1.15-2PM; FREE Baron Hurd of Westwell is a Conservative ALISON RICHARD BUILDING, SIGEWICK SITE Dr Doyle presents highlights of the British politician who served in the Thatcher 5-6.30PM; FREE Library´s Royal collection, containing and Major cabinets as Home Secretary The director of the Asia-Pacifi c illuminated manuscripts gathered by the and Foreign Secretary. He now serves as programme discusses his work in this kings and queens of England from the 9th patron of the Tory Reform Group. region. to the 16th century.

Russian Ballet: Giselle e Boys in the Band Moments G.G.T.H CORN EXCHANGE 7.30PM; FROM £22.50 ADC THEATRE 7.45PM; £6 ADC THEATRE, LARKUM STUDIO 8PM; £4 ADC THEATRE 11PM; £5 Adolphe Adam’s ballet of love, betrayal, (14th-18th Feb) With an all-male cast, (14th-18th Feb) Debut from writer Hellie (15th-18th Feb)) Combining experience ghosts and vengeance; choreographed Mart Crowley’s hard-hitting drama about Cranney, the winner of ‘Best Script’ in the from Now, Now, The Mexican Standoff, by Jean Coralli and revised by Marius homosexuality in the 1960s comes to the Cambridge 24 Hour Plays 2011. In her and the Footlights Pantomime, comedy But often love can mean that a person is really, Petipa. ADC stage for the very fi rst time. words, ‘a play about what we’re willing team The Outside Joke bring you dark, really imperfect (Lana Del Rey). Seeing that some- to share, and what we keep to ourselves’. sexy sketches, one is great and imperfect at the same time is real love though (I think), so this Valentine’s day make sure you know that the most important and lovely person in your life is amazing, but not perfect (seri- READ: Small is Beautiful DVD: A Bigger Splash ously don’t tell them though as it will end so so BY E. F. SCHUMACHER (1973) CORN EXCHANGE 7.30PM; FROM £22.50 badly!). Oh, and one more piece of advice: make sure This radical challenge to the 20th Jack Hazan’s artful, disturbing 1974 fi lm the person who is the most important to you knows century’s intoxication with mass market about Hockney and his gay inner circle it. Like if that person was Lana Del Rey then send methods – what Schumacher described has been described by Martin Scorsese her a bunch of fl owers or something. as “gigantism” – has never held more as “one of the fi nest fi lms I have seen resonance than it does today. about an artist and his work.”

AVOID: People in Love EXHIBITION: Identity Prints after Chardin Unless you are one – in which case, JESUS COLLEGE CHAPEL; FREE R. 16, FITZWILLIAM MUSEUM; FREE you’ll be staying in and avoiding bitter (From 9th-16th Feb) Photography by Investigates the appeal of Chardin’s haters anyway. Tanne Spielman and Matt O’Kane, see familial imagery for the 18th-century below (Pick of the Week) for details. public, and takes a close look at the skill of the printmakers who interpreted his canvases into graphic art.

FILM EDITOR ART EDITOR SENIOR ARTS

Oldboy Affordable Art Fair Love in the Time of Cholera EXHIBITION: Identity Fri 10 Feb 8pm, Buckingham House Sat 11 – Sun 12 Feb 10.30am-5pm, Sun 12 Feb 8.30- 10.30pm; Claire Thurs 9 – Thurs 16 Feb, Jesus College Chapel; Free Lecture Theatre, Murrray Edwards Wolfson Party Room, Trinity Hall Bar, Free

Featuring images of students’ pin boards, historical portraits of e second in Park Chan-Wook’s Hunt around for bargain art by local Mike Newell’s adaptation of Mar- identity and images of identity through a lifetime. Curated by Tanne ‘Vengeance Trilogy’, this fi lm won and student artists. Most items un- quez’s novel charts a love story which the 2004 Grand Prize at Cannes. der £50. spans over 50 years. Spielman and Matt O’Kane. Foreword written by Grant Smith, Zoe Large former Chairman of the Association of Photographers. India Ross Holly Gupta

Want to draw a mind map, take your week in pictures, or see your event listed on these pages? Get in touch with [email protected] 18 FEATURES FEBRUARY 10 2012 — WEEK 4 A RAG Blind Date special On Tuesday night, Cambridge’s pubs, cocktail bars and restuarants were full to the brim with dates. Single, double, triple - and even a few odd numbers - jostled for space to conduct their awkward meetings under increasingly inebriated conditions. Varsity took the ultimate people-watching oppotunity and caught a selection of the dates in question over the course of the night

THE NIGHT Yasmin (EMMA) & Johnny (ST. JOHNS) Tristran (DOWNING) & Faye (CHURCHILL) James (FITZWILLIAM) & Katy (CHURCHILL) BEGINS... FIRST IMPRESSIONS: FIRST IMPRESSIONS: FIRST IMPRESSIONS: Y: Interesting...not the average medic! Y: Very ‘friendly’ J: Her clock necklace is forcing me to look straight at J: I didn’t really know what was going on... J: Very chatty which relieved the her breasts... HEART METER: awkwardness of him admitting just how K: He’s not my actual date but at least he found a re- Y: much shorter he was than me placement for me! He’s pretty cute. 8pm J: HEART METER: HEART METER: SNOG/MARRY/AVOID: Y: J: Y: Snog J: K: J: Snog SNOG/MARRY/AVOID: SNOG/MARRY/AVOID: ARE YOU GOING HOME ALONE? Y: Snog J: Marry Y: ??? J: Seems like the marrying kind...future in- K: Snog J: Perhaps. Perhaps. vestment banker, perhaps? Ka-ching ARE YOU GOING HOME ALONE? J: Defi nitely K: It’s only 8.30, anything could happen!

James (FITZWILLIAM) & Katy (CHURCHILL) Freya (CHRISTS) & John (GIRTON) Bruno (PEMBROKE) & Felicity (CHRIST’S) 11pm FIRST IMPRESSIONS: FIRST IMPRESSIONS: FIRST IMPRESSIONS: J: Still can’t stop looking at her necklace/breasts... F: Uh-oh... B: Lovely K: Pretty cute, I think I said. Two hours on, let’s J: I thought she was well nice. F: Decent looking but a bit of a toff ... make that very cute! I think his eyebrows are very HEART METER: HEART METER: alluring F: Flatlining. B: HEART METER: J: F: Y: SNOG/MARRY/AVOID: SNOG/MARRY/AVOID: J: : F: Avoid. Like the plague. B: Snog/Marry ARE YOU GOING HOME ALONE? J: Marry F: Snog J: Hell no! ARE YOU GOING HOME ALONE? MOST AWKWARD MOMENT? K:  ere’s three of us so probably not F: Yes! B: Too many to count J: Long walk back to Girton... F: When he tried to take a drink out of the glass holding the atmospheric candle. I had to tell him that it wasn’t his drink. WEEK 4 — FEBRUARY 10 2012 FEATURES 19

CHARITY CASES Annually, Cambridge RAG raises This year’s supported charities are: and gives around £160,000 for ● Alzheimer’s Research UK local, national and international ● British Red Cross charities by organising some of ● Médecins Sans Frontières the most exciting and outrageous ● Unicef UK university-wide and college-based ● WaterAid events. ● Cambridge Rape Crisis Centre ● Foodcycle ● Haven House Children’s Hospice ● Jimmy’s Night Shelter ● Wintercomfort for the Homeless

LETTICE e FRANKLIN Little Gem

hen the snow started toW settle on Saturday night, so too did diff erences. Pavement was indistinguishable from road, horrid hill colleges were fairylands just like Kings or Trinity, and strangers on the street became friends. It perhaps off ered us a taster for Valentine’s Day, which, like snow, unites us all, leaving Dominic (CLARE) & Anna (DOWNING) Charlie (GIRTON) & Rhonda (SIDNEY SUSSEX) us head over heels, like many 10pm this week, on Cambridge’s new FIRST IMPRESSIONS: FIRST IMPRESSIONS: ice rink previously known as D:  ere was no whip... C: Very nice and polite girl the Sidgewick Site, submerged A: I am very (very) very happy. R: Very posh in a pa-retty uncomfortable but (TRINITY) (DOWNING) SNOG/MARRY/AVOID: HEART METER: Jackson & Lily perhaps, retrospectively wonderful D: C: FIRST IMPRESSIONS: experience. Yes Valentine’s day is surely supposed A: R: J: It’s all positive at this end! Marry to be about solitude with your L: Lovely American accent CHOICE TOPIC OF CONVERSATION: SNOG/MARRY/AVOID: One and Only Hoochie Coochie SNOG/MARRY/AVOID: D: Defi nitely not Alison. Who’s Alison? C: Marry Pie. In restaurant world, however, J: A: We bonded over our shared Indian heritage R: Avoid I reject the fundamental premise of the Valentine’s Day is actually about question ramming you all in together, and SNOG/MARRY/AVOID: ARE YOU GOING HOME ALONE? L: Marry. ‘Obv’. ‘Blind date 4 lyf’ in Cambridge’s tiny tiny restaurant Y: C: Marry Probably. Damn. CHOICE TOPIC OF CONVERSTATION: world, that means the scintillating J: Snog R: I wondered... and then I found out he’s a possibility of playing footsie with J: Ski vacations ARE YOU GOING HOME ALONE? massive tory. your date, your DOS, your dentist, L: Geek chat and pizza vouchers J: Defi nitely and your best friend’s date, all K: without leaving your romantically It’s only 8.30, anything could happen! dim, rose-bedecked table. SCORE eh. Irony aside, this does represent a victory. You. are. in. a. restaurant. What’s more you are (in my clichéd dream) in a dim, rose-bedecked restaurant. You have done the unthinkable and thought to book a table in a restaurant on the one night in the year when you obviously should, but obviously never do. In reality, most of us will be forced out in the snow, while the rest of us will be in restaurants we never consider going to on any other day of the year. I had a pre-emptive taster of this when I visited, this week, HK Fusion. Have you ever been there? Probably not. Have you ever walked past it? Yes, every day. Located bang opposite John’s, it boasts a pretty spectacular location (CAIUS) (TRINITY HALL) Josie & James and plays to it; the lucky couple FIRST IMPRESSIONS: midnight that get to sit in the goldfi sh bowl that is the front seat have a view JOSIE: He’s really nice, friendly and sweet. of porticoes and trellises galore, JAMES: (ROBINSON) (CAIUS) She’s really chatty, friendly and lovely Matt & Becca and of the lucky twosomes trotting HEART METER: FIRST IMPRESSIONS: happily hand-in-hand to Côte, JOSIE: Bill’s, Pizza Express (heart-shaped M: Really very lovely JAMES: dough balls a-go-go) and to be B: He’s not awkward! By far this is the most important thing SNOG/MARRY/AVOID: honest anywhere else. HEART METER: HK Fusion’s food leaves a lot to JOSIE: Marry, he’s great! M: be desired - maybe a good thing JAMES: We should have a few more chats...if my girlfriend lets me B: for your chances on a date...  e ARE YOU GOING HOME ALONE? CHOICE TOPIC OF CONVERSATION: apparent speciality is ‘fried ho fun’, JOSIE: and going on the tasteless oiliness Probably going home to my boyfriend. M: Tupac! Finally a girl who gets Tupac JAMES: Probably going home to my girlfriend. of our meal, I would imagine this B: We study the same subject so I’m afraid there was some faculty talk dish off ers nothing more than bad jokes for awkward moments... 20 THeaTre feBruAry 10 2012 — Week 4

HelenPlayground CaHill eing Thatre Editor filled me with an emptiness this week. Marlowe It’s a glamourous title, but I couldn’t help feeling diconnectedB wasting away in front of the soul-less whirring computers of our production room when I sat magic show down to make my page. I resolved to discover why I had been feeling Millie Steele talks to Lily Arnold, so hollow, so I took it upon myself to go to the theatre for the first director of A Midsummer Night’s time this year, thinking my sense of isolation could stem from my total Dream, about reality, student theatre ignorance of the scene on which I’m reporting. and tent construction It wasn’t easy. I travelled through snow and ice, and the arrangements for attending the afterparty were s I walk into the Cam- sprang from the idea of setting it in a heinously complicated. Suffice to bridge Arts Theatre kind of “urban wasteland,” think the say, it was well worth it to attend to meet professional outskirts of London, and this has ‘Curse of the Oxford Revue’ at the designer Lily Arnold inspired the other design aspects of Burton Taylor Studio, Oxford. I who has been work- the play. It opens with the court scene literally haven’t seen any comedy ing on A Midsummer depicted as a Canary Wharf-like cor- like it this term. The Cherwell Night’s Dream with the Marlowe porate affair, but as the characters fall reviewer unambigously claimed ASociety, I am confronted by a pop-up into the dream this disintegrates into that it did ‘contain sketches of sheer, Halfords tent. Student Phil Shipley and a building site. Lily tells me that it was 1 2 comic genius’. Bland, but ultimately I grapple with it whilst Lily reads us important for each group of characters correct. the instructions on how to fold it up. to have their own unique space, giving 1. Mairin O’Hagan plays Titania, with There’s a theatre world out there, When I ask what it’s for I’m told that them ownership of their environment. Mateo Oxley as Oberon. 2. Mairin and and I’m committed to immersing Hermia takes it into the forest with her It’s about creating “a playground for the Mateo are photographed by our talented myself in it. Wednesday saw the when she runs away from home. How actors to live in.” Editor Louise in John’s (unfortunately) 3. first night of Tone Deaf Theatre’s sensible. The costumes have been kept con- There was an arsey Porter who didn’t want hard-hitting production ‘Fresher’s: The word “realistic” isn’t one that temporary, but in a playful way. They the shoot to happen, but it (obviously) did The Musical’ at the Durham is usually associated with the play A have experimented with everything anyway 4. You can’t really see the snow, Student Union. Who could resist from vintage rockabilly to tattoos and but it was actually bloody cold. the temptation to relive Durham’s ‘Lily tells me that she masks. The fairies are described as Fresher’s week? It’ll be all the “modern-day gypsies” wearing tweeds more exciting for missing it in the finds the enthusiasm and earthy fabrics, whilst the court offi- first place. Doug Gibbs directs, cials are business-like in suits. particularly hard on technique, says teaming up with the legendary and willingness of the Having worked for the Royal Shake- Phil. Director Kate Sagovsky has choreographer Emma Cave. This is students here refreshing’ speare Company Lily tells me that she focused on the use of movement, a theatrical dream-team I can only finds the enthusiasm and willingness and much of the comedy comes from imagine will work wonders, and a of the students here refreshing. She a physical place. “It’s really silly,” says perfect opportunity to see the front- Midsummer Night’s Dream, but that is impressed by how much work the Lily, “but in a tangible way.” They have line in action. is what this production team is hoping students have put in, and Phil quickly had fun in particular playing with the My journalistic conscience to achieve. It’s difficult for an audience agrees that the amount of preparation Mechanicals, trying to invent a feasible is rotting. I fear the inevitable to fully invest in fantasy, Lily tells me, far exceeds any production he has done way in which a group of builders may backlash from my adoring fans so they have worked on making the before. decide, on the spur of the moment, to if I give up my position, so my characters believable and honest. The The Cambridge University Marlowe put on a play. Both descend into laugh- only choice is to magic in the play comes from the fact Society has alumni such as Ian McKel- ter as they recount a recent rehearsal. go where the that they are all only human, and yet len, Sam Mendes and Peter Hall, and Like many student productions it magic happens – have these extraordinary powers and this may well be where the next genera- will be clever and thought provoking goodbye humble undergo amazing transformations. “It’s tion of professionals is born. As such, (with maybe even a comment or two Varsity offices – I’m almost the magic of everyday life… like the cast are keen to get to as close to a on society thrown in), but unlike many off to the theatre. a pop-up tent.” professional level as they can. attempts at Shakespearean comedy, it 3 The main thesis for this production The actors have been working may actually be very funny.

BELLa LaMPLOugH SHiELdS Boys are back in town Jack Belloli talks to Guy Woolf, director of the Boys in the Band, about reviving Matt Crowley’s seminal screen-play

uy Woolf can’t believe his play is important. Described as the ‘first who’s been generous in his response, luck. I catch up with him in explicitly gay play’, it was playwright sending Woolf a signed copy of the Pat Val just before he sets off Mart Crowley’s response to accusa- script and giving him permission to cut for the first full run-through tions that his older contemporaries, from the text. Gof next week’s ADC mainshow. Edward Albee and Tennessee Wil- Ultimately, however, the produc- For his first experience directing in liams, disguised gay messages behind tion isn’t dominated by any agenda: the Cambridge, he’s amazed how every- stories of heterosexual relationships. company’s keen to present experiences thing’s fallen into place: he’s working Guiltily, I play the devil’s advo- common to any kind of identity crisis, with a great cast in his perfect venue cate: why revive a play associated and to remind us that the play only - he waxes lyrically about how he’ll with the still-marginalised New York presents an infuriating one-night slice map the interior of a flat onto the ADC gay community of 1968 in the surely- of its characters’ lives. stage - with a play that’s clearly close to more-enlightened Cambridge of 2012? I ask Woolf if there’s anything sur- his heart. The director stresses that the play prising he wants audiences to look Woolf was introduced to the film of isn’t outdated and, while Cambridge out for: he mentions his introduction The Boys in the Band ten years ago. He remains a particularly tolerant place of the song ‘Will You Still Love Me calls it ‘an acting tour de force’: it builds to work and study, he’s keen to follow Tomorrow?’, a reminder that these to a crescendo, both in its humour Albee in ‘eternally remaining vigilant’. characters’ futures are contingent and and its serious revelations, by keep- He deliberately chose a performance uncertain even after the curtain falls. ing its nine characters onstage almost slot in LGBT History month, and is in But I’m more certain that we’ll be in a throughout. The cast have worked on contact with Gay Times and Stonewall position to love this play when it opens maintaining this intensity through to generate publicity. next week. improvisation and detailed character Woolf wasn’t the only one itching for l The Boys in the Band is the ADC work, a hard task. the play’s revival. He’s made contact mainshow from Tues 14th- Sat 18th Feb But this isn’t the only reason why the with Crowley, now in his seventies, (Tue & Wed £8/£6, Thu-Sat £10/£8) Members of the cast in rehearsal for The Boys in the Band week 4 — february 10 2012 TheaTre 21

Louise Benson The final number that declares us to have learnt nothing at all feels FredCritique Maynard unconvincing and a little reductive.” am tempted to use this week’s column ●●● The principal joke of Bereave- necessary that the tonal dichotomy to shamelessly plug ment: The Musical is neatly contained eventually makes an interesting com- my upcoming show, Uneasy in its title, and despite evident good ment on the material in hand. The final Dreams,I a surreal, blackly hilarious intentions and a number of genuinely number that declares us to have learnt adaptation of Franz Kafka’s short moving and entertaining sequences, it nothing at all feels unconvincing and a stories, with puppetry, music and struggles to expand beyond the central little reductive. existentialist terror combining to premise to meaningful ends. Jeff Carpenter, however, who briefly create what will surely be one of In a series of what we might call mentions his own bereavement and the term’s highlights, at 9.30 in the musical sketches, composers Jeff motivation for composing the musi- Corpus Playrooms, tickets a bargain Carpenter and Mairin O’Hagan and cal in a pre-opening night VarsiTV at £5. However, this would be in director Andy Brock populate the interview, is a touching presence as the violation of all proper journalistic stage with a parade of char- accompanist. He remained impres- ethics, so I won’t. But such Bereavement: acters, each of whom have sively engaged with the cast members temptation does remind me of how The Musical suffered a bereavement of for the duration of the performance. much we in the theatre world must some kind, and each of If the show fails to persuasively fight for publicity. ADC Lateshow whom disclose their predic- convey its primary sensibility, then it The business of getting people ★★★★★ ament with a song. is the subtle poignancy of Carpenter’s to actually come to see shows is a It certainly seems inter- presence that eventually commu- pretty tough one around here. Oh, esting to make a distinction nicates the amusing, enlivening and sure, an ADC mainshow playing between grief and bereavement in a intelligent treatment of difficult sub- something well-known can sell out way that draws attention to the oddly ject matter that lies at the core of the weeks in advance, as can Corpus perfunctory nature of social practices production. now its marketing is hitched to the surrounding death: we enjoy a hymn Pandora Haydon HeLen CAHiLL ADC bandwagon. (Though I like to detailing the awkward formality of think Elektra’s success was down to funerals, a refusal to seek counsel- Sophie Crawford’s intimidating and ling from a brilliantly animated Rosie ubiquitous poster-bound face daring Brown, and a funny and well observed people not to buy a ticket) but perhaps laboured song that inter- But the two ADC venues are rogates the impropriety of a teenager’s the over-conspicuous iceberg-tip; need to masturbate, even in the wake plenty of other good stuff goes of his mother’s death. underattended. You haven’t truly It is the witty choreography and done theatre here until you’ve had musical cheek that really earns Bereave- to go into the bar before an 11pm ment: The Musical its laughs – its slick, lateshow at Queens’ and try to self aware mockery of the musical the- corral drunkards into the theatre so The varsity STar guide atre genre through a characterful piano you have some kind of audience: “I accompaniment and chorus choreog- promise, it’ll be hilarious!” ★★★★★ raphy is highly entertaining and makes Too many venues are off the Nightmare up for unremarkable melodies. beaten track– you don’t casually However, it is in the more con- wander down into the Pembroke ★★★★★ templative, serious scenes that the cellars or trek over to the Newnham Insomnia endeavour falls down. An overblown Old Labs or even into the English meditation on single parenthood and Faculty’s Judith E Wilson studio – ★★★★★ an admission from a bereaved teen- great and unique venues though Dream on ager that she is no longer “daddy’s little they all are. The fact is that there girl” serve as reminders that, as a genre aren’t enough theatre-going people ★★★★★ that trivialises and simultaneously sen- in Cambridge to serve all these The stuff dreams timentalises its subject matter, musical places. At a university like Bristol, are made of theatre isn’t always the appropriate which has actual drama students, medium in which to address the agony and more undergraduates, they ★★★★★ of bereavement. might put on three shows at a time, Living the dream That’s not to say that the handling with large gaps in between. We are of a serious theme in a lighthearted Haydon found Jeff Carpenter’s presence trying to sell six shows a week to a 4 framework is fruitless, but it seems as the accompanist moving student body that frequently doesn’t have the spare time for sleep, let alone challenging physical theatre. We are left with a painfully over- What’s the best thing saturated field – you have to fill an On the evidence of this show, the only about costume design? entire auditorium off the force of difference between Corpus Smokers and the marketing alone. You find yourself The joy of the designer in the dead of night, stalking like a stand-up in ADC Footlights Smokers is that comes from playing rather sad PR ninja down Burrell’s you can buy a ticket for Corpus on the door. ” Walk tacking up last-minute with cultural norms posters. You find yourself machine- and making them gun-posting increasingly desperate statuses trying to make your ●●● Smoker reviews have been stuck at him the most as he trampled all over the relevant. An accurate show sound wacky and fun (and three stars all term long, and it’s easy to rules of stand-up, showing no deference to reconstruction of Russian definitely selling out fast, definitely). appreciate why: anyone brave enough can the audience, and it seemed that this, far eighteenth century Sometimes people will come up come and have a go, some acts are good, more than his smutty humour, was what with an idea for “viral” marketing others bad – which makes for shows that had them laughing. dress works in film, – a YouTube “trailer” or a blog (go are inevitably ‘hit and miss’. The room was united, however, in but would fall flat in a see the Seventh Seal tumblr - it’s Last night’s Corpus Smoker, how- appreciation of Phil Wang’s closing set, theatre because people really rather good, but you have to ever, gets that extra star. The whose style means that, if he just keeps know that it’s there to find it). So Corpus Smoker reason? A shorter line-up of talking, the jokes keep coming and the wouldn’t read it properly. yes, getting people to the theatre higher quality made this Mon- audience keeps laughing. It is only through can be desperate. But consider the Corpus Playrooms day’s offerings just that bit Whether by chance or intention, the rel- infusing contemporary dominance of the British theatre better than usual. atively small number of acts (there were scene by Cambridge grads – the ★★★★★ Styles ranged from the halt- ten in the first Smoker of Michaelmas images of identity that last four National Theatre artistic ing to the conversational but term) left time for compere Pierre Novellie a character can be directors are all Cantabs – and never felt awkward. Julia Newman is to share jokes, anecdotes and wonder- accurately maybe there’s an upside. After all, female, Jewish, American and funny. After fully funny life stories. His humour and necessity is the mother of ruthless a nervous start she developed a relaxed set, manner are both first-rate, and his perfor- interpreted getting-ahead. Maybe all this frantic and as a relative newcomer to Cambridge mances are enjoyable to watch because he and that’s show-whoring is what makes us she is a name to keep an eye out for. so clearly enjoys being entertaining. where all the good administrators in the real The crazy observational humour and On the evidence of this show, the only theatre world. Yes, come to think of measured delivery of Stefan Arridge con- difference between Corpus Smokers and fun is. it, being shameless is a good thing. trasted starkly with this but his jokes were the stand-up in ADC Footlights Smokers Incidentally, Critique’s tip for next delightfully and hilariously unpredictable. is that you can buy a ticket for Corpus on week is Uneasy Dreams, a feast of (I Bhargav Narayanan went down well the door. With things going this well, that Georgia Haseldine have to stop you here, Fred – this is with half the room, but never got every- may not be the case in future. shameless. Theatre Ed.) one on his side. His fellow comics enjoyed Richard Stockwell Costume Designer 22 MUSIC FEBRUARY 10 2012 — WEEK 4

RORYListen WILLIAMSON feel this page has enough of my What’s love got to do with it? self-indulgent ramblings on it Why is pop music so stuck on love songs? Rory Williamson bemoans the ubiquity of already this week. So, instead of spewing more random songwriting about love, fi nding solace in the the self-consciousness of The Magnetic Fields Ithoughts at you, I’ve decided to fl ag up good albums that have been released so far this year that even ll songs are about love.”  is has arisen because it is a surefi re way you long ago, / But you’re in every song Of course, it’s also a lot more than the oracle of Varsity’s music page was the blanket generalisa- to achieve mass appeal; whether it be I know.” As the kind of cynic for whom that: genuinely affecting songs like didn’t manage to cover. tion I was faced with over because we want to imagine the shared the concept of romance conjures up ‘When My Boy Walks Down the Street’ Sharon Van Etten – Tramp: Christmas after another rant pain of a break-up or to pretend that little more than a reserve of bile, I and the fragile, devastating ‘Asleep and what the singer-songwriter’s third Aabout the uniformity of Adele’s sen- the songs are about us, our appetite for refused to listen to a three-disk epic of Dreaming’ prove that there is still pro- release loses in Epic’s uncomfortable timental balladry. Perched high upon them is voracious. love songs for a very long time. fundity to be found in the love song intimacy, it gains in a greater my dubious elitist pedestal, I delivered What a mistake that was. Stephin format. scope and confi dence. Van Etten a suitably blunt and derisive response; ‘Mechanical hit-makers Merritt, the genius behind  e Mag-  is, then, is the solace that  e Mag- has mastered the art of rendering surely it was more than a bit reductive netic Fields, has accurately described netic Fields provide: they fi nd ways of simple lyrics devastating, while her to suggest that an entire art form could continue to stick to the the record as containing 69 songs about generating new perspectives on the love voice has a bruised grace that is as be centred upon one emotion. My taste, twin formula of amours love songs, not love. Its dizzying array song tradition by neither embracing it irresistible as it is painful to listen to. of course, was far more wide-ranging, of genres and rotating cast of singers nor succumbing fully to parody.  eir Porcelain Raft – Strange my mind broadened by the work of in da club and insipid mean it is an amorphous monster of a attitude is perhaps the most productive Weekend: Mauro Remiddi brings boundary-pushing songwriters who thing; it seems at once to encompass all one to adopt in light of this oversatura- a refreshingly mature approach would never be discovered in a rut of ballads’ possible experiences of love and to ridi- tion; love songs may be the source of to lo-fi dream pop; the murky churning out love songs. Comfortably cule the possibility of ever doing such much saccharine-induced vomit, but as production and hazy textures may smug though I was, there remained a  is isn’t just true of mainstream pop a thing accurately. From throwaway 69 Love Songs attests, they are an inex- sound familiar, but his experienced niggling doubt that my assurance was music, though – and here’s where my genre exercises like ‘Love is Like Jazz’ to tricable part of modern music. musicianship and resonant lyrics misguided. pedestal starts to look a little bit more parodic duets like ‘Yeah! Oh, Yeah!’ 69 make this a record worth sticking A cursory glance at the current top precarious.  e archetypal singer-song- Love Songs works as a deconstruction with.  e whole album seems to 40 would certainly seem to prove me writer draws from the same inspiration of this most universal of themes, laugh- exist in a fragile realm apart from wrong, as far as pop music is concerned: in the form of confessional heartache; ing at its all-pervasive reality, taking on an intabgible the mechanical hit-makers continue to an album I’ve been enjoying recently, presence while con- quality on tracks like the aptly titled stick to the twin formula of amours in Sharon Van Etten’s Tramp, is resolutely tributing to it. ‘Shapeless and Gone.’ da club and insipid ballads designed to a break-up record. Indeed, as I franti- Chairlift – Something: Despite fi ll empty ice-cream tubs with tears.  e cally scoured my music collection for a fairly underwhelming debut, homogeneity of this subject matter is evidence of its multitude of diff erent Chairlift, now a duo, have slipped terrifying, but then pop music is practi- themes and genres, my hypocrisy into an 80s electro-pop guise that cally about being pristinely formulaic; began to make itself clearer. Even suits them well.  e warped screech there’s a reason the phrase “the perfect the output of my treasured misera- of synth fi nds a thrilling counterpart pop song” has gained currency. blists Arab Strap could probably be in Caroline Polachek’s energised It’s not worth getting too caught up summarised by this immortal cou- vocal.  e latter half may tail off in decrying the stagnant pit that is pop plet from ‘Glue’: “Sex without love a little bit, but with songwriting, though. It’s clear that in is a good ride worth trying, / But love dynamic pop songs spite of my misgivings, something in without sex is second only to dying.” ELLA MAHONY-HAMMOND as infectious as this formula works. As much as I’d like Ironically, the best solution to this ‘Amanaemonesia’ to deny that all songs are about love, it predicament is perhaps to be found in and ‘Sidewalk is certainly a unifying aspect of much  e Magnetic Fields’ seminal 69 Love Safari,’the record music, an emotion that taps into some- Songs. I turned to it as I began to feel remains memorable.. thing universal that we respond to.  e like the narrator of its song ‘Busby Berk- Love is on the decks, and it ubiquity of the love song in all its forms ley Dreams’: “I should have forgotten won’t get off. Ever.

is could have been a more mature, slow, rewarding kind of Fragile but ferocious, there is no white light at the end record...but often the desired eff ect falls fl at” of the tunnel, just white noise” ●●● When Errors released their over which the beats dance and play. ●●● Unless those £3 cocktails you mutates into a honky-tonk country debut album, the brilliantly titled It’s  is could have been a more mature, chug have Elixir of Life mixed into its stomper, stumbles into baroque pop Not Something But It Is Like Whatever slow, rewarding kind of record; indeed swampwater, everybody croaks some- and crash lands into clattering piano in 2008, I was a big fan. Treading the in some ways it is, but often the desired time. Death is universal, but people’s chords and strings. same kind of ground that was doing so eff ect falls fl at. With the hooks, the reaction to the reaper is not. Some tear ‘Exorcismic Breeding Knife’ pushes well for bands like Holy Fuck, but with a humour is also gone. As is much of the out their hair; others throw a party. this experimentalism further than any- darker edge, they seemed at once inno- momentum: like much of the album, An anthropologist’s paradise, a wake thing else to be found on the record; vative and defi nitively current.  eir ‘Blank Media’ and ‘Earthscore’ carry is a brew of cigarette exhale, swirling it doesn’t just lack melody, it blud- sophomore eff ort added an energetic a series of slightly disjointed varia- whiskey and fulminating fi ddles con- geons it around the head with an burst of upbeat hooks to the mix. tions over a powerful rhythm, without sumed by the mourning kin staying entire woodwind section.  is stupe-  is third album doesn’t quite fi t worrying too much about how these awake until dawn, while the departed fying spoken-word track feels like the either of these descriptions, variations relate to one another. drifts to sleep. It is both a soundtrack to a Hammer horror fi lm Have Some Faith Paralytic Stalks in Magic but neither is it distinctly  is creates songs that are interest- celebration and a lament- too eerie to be allowed to exist. its own thing. For the most ing on paper, but not compelling in an acknowledgment that  is made-up word “exorcismic,” Errors part, the big hooks are the fl esh. Although the sense of atmo- of Montreal life and death, light and presumably a combination of exor- ★★★★★ ★★★★★ gone, and there is a return sphere is strong, from one end of a dark are two sides of the cism and orgasmic, is undoubtedly the to a more groove-based song to another, there are generally few same coin. best way to describe Paralytic Stalks: aesthetic, with each song a carefully, events which demand much attention. Paralytic Stalks is the 10th studio achieving ecstasy and delirium from subtly constructed soundscape. For all that, this is an intelligent and album by the prolifi c Kevin Barnes purging and purifying. In the case of the two singles, ‘Magna well-crafted album. In the light of two and his band, of Montreal. His latest ‘Spiteful Intervention,’ a Perspex con- Encarta’ and ‘Pleasure Palaces,’ this previous records, which do better than eff ort is a step away from 2010’s rela- fession box fi lled with shame, regret works well; on these tracks the album’s what this album does best, I’m just not tively streamlined indie-R&B eff ort and self-loathing, could be the catchiest increased focus on vocals-as-instru- sure if it justifi es its own existence. False Priest. Paralytic Stalks, a proudly song in this largely hookless collec- ment creates absorbing atmospheres, Joey Frances confused and convoluted record and tion. Elsewhere, on ‘Malefi c Dowery’ probably their least commercial to date, he admits to his valentine that he is has a much darker and more sinister “in fear of your schizophrenic genius,” Blowout Comb Philophobia subject matter than its predecessor. something the listener could say to DIGABLE PLANETS (1994) ARAB STRAP (1998) If False Priest was obsessed with the Barnes himself about this delightfully joy of sex, Paralytic Stalks is concerned dissonant LP. Always smooth, always stylish. Perfect for Valentine’s Day, Philophobia with the consequential, ‘la petite morte.’ Paralytic Stalks is both completely Figureheads of the jazz hip-hop (the fear of being in love) is a dank What makes this record remarkable is chaotic and incredibly intricate. Fragile movement in the early nineties, the journey into the depravity of human how colourful and polychromatic its but ferocious, there is no white light at Planets achieved fame with their relationships. With perhaps the most approach to such bleak subject matter the end of this tunnel, just white noise - eclectic samples, biting politics and memorable opening line ever, Aidan can be. but it couldn’t be brighter.  is record, playful reverence of the jazz greats Moffat begins by drawling “It was the It’s quite a claim, but this might be one of their fi nest, is no casual listen; who inspire their music. Blowout Comb, biggest cock you’ve ever seen”; from the band’s most experimental record it demands one’s attention as it col- their second and final album, stays true there, restrained, brooding post-rock to date. ‘Wintered Debts,’ the album’s lapses around the listener in a wave of to their tradition but the beats are dark, provides the backdrop for unparalleled absolute peak, could be of Montreal’s entropy. even ominous; their rhymes, a little more lyrical wit. This is a catalogue of miserable ‘Paranoid Android.’  is is the beginning of an exciting aggressive, even cocky. And it sounds mundanity, but Moffat is a charmingly It begins as an Elliot Smith style new phase in of Montreal’s already damn good. Theo Evan acerbic companion. Rory Williamson ballad, but over the course of seven impressive and varied career. A rebirth. schizophrenic minutes in heaven, it Dominic Kelly WEEK 4 — FEBRUARY 10 2012 BOOKS 23

Why is the measure of love loss? CHARLOTTERead KEITH Jeanette Winterson, hen did we fall out award winning author, ponders fucking, frigidity, love and hate of love with reading? And why? Even have spent most of my life think- My purpose is to love. I love. from those wooded islands I visited and Yes, let her go, to love in her own way, students studying ing about love. I understood early In all circumstances? Of course not those other ships passing in the night. freed from all the towering assumptions forW a literature-related degree are that love could be exciting, extrava- in all circumstances, anymore than But I was not free because I was in thrall about love. more likely to spend their free gant, risky, reckless, heart-racing, courage or self-control is present in to my private narrative of loss. What now? e point is to love well, time drinking, socializing, or (the Iheart-breaking, complete, catastrophic, all circumstances. But I am aware that I did not know that love could be with or without an ‘object’. e sun weirder ones) writing columns desired and desperate. And I knew that this quality of love now belongs to me. reliable like the sun; the daily rising of shines, with or without an ‘object.’ about reading. is in a university love was like a scent trail and I would No longer on the outside waiting to love. And when I love you, it is for yourself, full of books, where we all seem to follow it. That love could not be a be discovered (you too can fi nd love) As I get older I fi nd that I know less as you are, not as a trophy for my ship or be reading all the time – but mainly, thought-experiment. at love should or worse, fallen into, like a hole in the and less about more and more. Also, I as a hostage to my fl ag. Love increases if not solely, with the aim of getting never count the cost. at the cost is ground (falling in love again). know more about less. I know some- in the company of the other, and fi nds a degree. It used to be socially the exchange of the self as a single thing about love having boxed its itself again as an emotion – the signal acceptable – expected, even – for currency. ‘Sex is a very good way shadow for so long. I found that the emotion – when you are there. But if a Cultured Person to list ‘reading’ I set out to fathom love because I lost insubstantial thing I hit and hit and hit you are not there, then love as a qual- among their hobbies. Now, it seems it too soon – at six weeks old when I to avoid attachment. was not love; it was me. ity does not desert me. And never did, kind of naïf. Anyone skeptical was adopted. Losing love early shapes How to love? Love is both though I did not know it, and many about the value of reading as a the idea of love into its opposite: Loss. Men are better at this risk and rescue times I deserted love. pastime is in good company: a lot Why is the measure of love loss? than women’ mission; the prin- You need both hands – like playing of books worry about the dangers Our binary oppositions are too cess in the tower the piano. To touch love. To hold love. of too much reading – and question crude. e opposite of love is not hate is you. Forget the To shape love on what- whether reading really gets you – in fact love and hate are as close as a I have had so many reckless encoun- gender; the princess in ever wheel. To scoop anywhere in life. Because if you’re pair of hostile brothers, as anyone who ters. I have never been a love-rat but I the tower is you. up love where it falls. reading, you’re not living. Don has fallen out of love, with a person or a have been a love-piRATe, jumping ship, I had to give up To climb the rope Quixote, is driven insane by reading cause, will know. avoiding duty, fl ying under my own the pirate ship – hand over hand. too much, imagining he lives in a If love means to gain everything then fl ag. When I believed love was loss – which was a shame To find her face book, (the irony, clearly, being that to lose love is to lose everything. and I believed it with poetic fatalism, in some ways when in the dark. To be he actually does…). Reading is a But I don’t mean the hit or miss of there could be no genuine attachment. I had spent empty-handed time-consuming, life-consuming another person. Love is oddly imper- Attachment to another meant a ren- so long sometimes. To process: at once intensely private, sonal – it is a quality as well as an dezvous with loss. I preferred to fuck embroider- give; once for your- and inherently shared, uplifting and emotion. Nobody teaches us this qual- with death. ing the fl ag. I self, once for the troubling, frustrating and elating – ity and so we are left with the emotion Sex is a very good way to avoid had to risk the other. To catch the whatever it is you’ve chosen to read. – inevitably directed at another person. attachment. Men are better at this climb to the top sun and throw it back But it’s worth it. C.S. What I have found is that once culti- than women but at least they get some of the tower and again across the Lewis claimed that vated, like courage or self-control, love pleasure out of the (self) deception. get the princess shadow of the “we read to know the quality is more durable than love For women, fucking is the new frigid. out and let her ship you used we are not alone”. the emotion. So much sex. So little intimacy. Is that go. to sail. A little like falling When I learnt how to love, I found freedom, do you think? in love, perhaps? that I was not waiting to find love. Was I free? No. I have always enjoyed Match.com is irrelevant. sex and taken pleasure and treasure LIZZIE MARX

You don’t have to think hard. You barely at favourite literary subject-matter: not love, have to think at all ” but what to do when it all goes wrong”

●●● In today’s fi ction there is a cer- Sperm-Squeezers, about homo-eroti- ●●● “How do we get out of what illustrated (and featuring a poignant tain kind of book. is modern sub-set cism, (who thinks he might be gay). As we’ve gotten ourselves into?” If Iraq photo essay by Stancy Kranitz, charting of book is about 500 pages long in one expects from ‘the campus novel’, and Afghanistan are the fi rst things the fates of a forgotten island commu- (entirely unnecessarily) size-14 font things go from bad to worse. A bad that spring to mind, you’d be largely nity, for whom there may be no viable with (even more unnecessarily) dou- throw from Henry smashes into Owen’s mistaken. exit strategies). One of the best things ble-spaced lines. And it always deals skull and sends him, along with Aff en- Despite a couple of overtly ‘politi- about Granta is its combination of with young Americans at college. light in loco parentis, to hospital, where cal’ pieces, the majority of contributors established literary fi gures – Adrienne ink Eugenides’ e Marriage Plot a romance blossoms between teacher return to that perennially favourite lit- Rich, Alice Munro, – with new voices. and you have the sort of book I’m talk- and student. Romantic bliss, perhaps, erary subject-matter: love. Or, rather, e necessarily fragmented nature of ing about. but misguided and brief. Meanwhile, that even more perennial favourite: the magazine format thankfully repays The Art of Now, there isn’t anything wrong Henry undergoes a crisis of self-doubt, Granta 118: what to do when it all goes the kind of disjointed reading that the Fielding with this: as a during-term bed- unable to throw with his former skill, Exit Strategies wrong. harassed (or hyper) student has to Chad Harbach book there is in fact very little and leaves Schwartz, (the team’s cap- e best pieces tended to resort to. Being interrupted by a friend, ★★★★★ better. You don’t have to think tain and Henry’s mentor), questioning ★★★★★ have a certain nonchalance; having another cup of coff ee, resuming, hard. You barely have to think at his own life-choices. Paradise seems an appealingly off hand qual- fi nishing one item and fl icking through all. You can even start to see the determined to crumble. ity. Claire Messud’s account for another that looks good – this is all American ‘colleges’ that serve as At this point in the novel it was very, of her father’s death and John part of the pleasure of journal-reading. the only settings as King’s, Pem- very, very tempting to give up, copy Barth’s vignette on the end And you don’t have to feel guilty about broke, St Catharine’s. ‘ ey are talking and paste a review from some obscure of his writing career (in writing, as he ‘not having time to read’ – because how about me!’ the student reader gasps. online-blog and send it to the Varsity wryly acknowledges) were masterfully long can a fi ve-page story take to read? is is not what e Art of Fielding sets offi ces. (He’s fi red - Ed). “ is can only fl uent. Issue 118 is also – as usual – a Charlotte Keith out to be. Unfortunately, that is what go one way”, I thought. “As dictated by beautiful physical object, sumptuously ●Granta Books , £18.99, hardback it becomes. It took 10 years to write, the precedent of High School Musi- and, to quote the Guardian review, cal, the rag-tag baseball team will win “may be the fi rst debut novel to have this national championship.” And sure another book written about it before enough, they did. Predictability of plot it was even published.” It is bordering aside, the writing is often sloppy and on being the most hyped-up book of the dialogue, wooden. Owen could not the year. But Harbach could have done speak more like a stereotypical, well- from Variations upon the Western Wind a lot better. read gay person if he tried. ere are e novel is about a high-school good passages, but with 500 pages of i. student, Henry Skrimshander, who is writing, it’s hardly surprising that there abnormally good at baseball. Spotted is something good. e stones remember me at a match in a ‘no-name tournament’ Maybe it’s me. Baseball is, after Ay, in the pale and deathless hour by Mike Schwartz, an athlete of Wes- all, an American obsession, and I Between the sun’s setting forth and the sun’s return, tish College who has ruined his joints know nothing at all about the game. ey recall playing sports in which he will never But this book is billed as being ‘not e shape of my long hand progress, Henry is whisked from his just about baseball’. It’s supposedly e taste of my heart interred, respiring limited-prospects life to ‘play ball’, to a novel about working hard, about Amongst the moss and mulch ‘live his dream’. ere he shares a dorm- trying and trying again, and again. It room with Owen: exceedingly bright is easy to read, and nicely relaxing, (and gay). He meets the college pres- but e Art of Fielding is not the book Isabella Shaw (look online for the full poem) ident, Professor Aff enlight: a 60 year of the year, it is an over-hyped cliché. old Melville scholar who has written Joe Harper the (gratuitously titled) critical work, ●Fourth Estate, £16.99, hardback 24 FIlM febRuaRy 10 2012 — week 4

WatchINDIA ROSS

ove, actually, isn’t all around. We’ll always have Paris... We owe our loss to a James Gray explores the enduring romance between Parisian culture and the big screen succession of high profile mood-killers, from the terminalL analysis of Woody Allen he French are coming: as The to the pre-menopausal whinings Artist dominates the blogo- of Sarah Jessica Parker. They sphere, and the Cotillard and have landed us in a soup of ironic Poésy brigade moves from heartthrobs and arm’s-length Ttoken Euro-flicks to globally-recogn- affairs, with a too-cool-for- ised projects, our love affair with the schoolness that infects the cinema. boho-Parisienne is flourishing. The As the burly male lead evolves city has endured as an icon of romance into the awkward man-child, the where sentiment dwindles elsewhere, idea of an ‘ironic crush’ is rapidly amassing a list of high-profile dal- becoming obsolete. If Gosling and liances to rival those of the Playboy Gordon-Levitt are the new Bogart mansion. and Brando, our view of romance The Hollywood musical Gigi must have undergone a serious (1958), based on Collette’s novel re-think. of the same name, harks back to Love has been sidelined into the hedonistic delights of the Belle comedy, abandoned by serious Époque, as bon-viveur Gaston tries filmmakers for fear of losing their to woo the enchanting but childishly mystique. In the late ‘90s, romance naïve Gigi. In a tale that testifies to the and big pictures were synonymous, Hollywood cliché that love triumphs with consecutive Best Picture over everything, the viewer strolls like winners in The English Patient, a Baudelarian flâneur through the Bois Titanic and Shakespeare in Love. de Boulogne, savouring the visual feast And one wonders why Twilight does so well. ‘Our love affair with Owen Wilson and Rachel McAdams explore Versaille in Woody Allen’s greatest commercial success, Midnight in Paris Always on the money, Mad the boho-Parisienne is Men’s Don Draper observes, “Love (2006), a collaborative work by 22 creativity, something Woody Allen’s to-day existence of two young vagrants. was invented by guys like us to sell flourishing’ directors, is a kaleidoscopic anthology latest release Midnight in Paris (2011) Inverting our associations of Parisian nylons”. As the corporate world gets of short films about chance meetings, attempts to harness. This roman- haute ‘culture’, while mixing the reali- a stranglehold on emotion, decent of ‘Gay Paris’. The pastel colouring glances exchanged on the metro and, tic comedy centres on the divergent ties of homelessness, alcoholism and cinema is inclined to of Metrocolor gives the footage an ultimately, the enduring power of love. ambitions between an inspiriting drug addiction, this is a visually exhil- duck out of the race, antique quality, like the hand-coloured When this famous cemetery becomes novelist, Gil, and his fiancée. Open- arating story of l’amour fou, a wildly leaving courtly photographs of yesteryear: stern the scene of a lovers’ spat, the rela- ing with a picture postcard montage of romantic love letter to Paris. love buried in the monochrome superimposed with tionship is saved by none other than Paris, Allen flirts with the city of love’s In the words of John Berger: “Every archives. Frankly, gaudy pinks and blues. Oscar Wilde (well, his metaphorical literary past. city has a sex and an age which have Clark Gable should But, in Paris, even hanging out with reincarnation). In contrast Les Amants du Pont Neuf nothing to do with demography… have given a damn. the dead in Père Lachaise has a cer- It seems then that in death, as in (1991) is not about a rich American’s Paris, I believe, is a man in his twenties tain romantic cachet. Paris, Je t’aime life, Paris has always been the muse of holiday but rather the desperate day- in love with an older woman.”

GOING GlObAl Valentine’s Day is just around in love, and willing to lose Carnage isn’t sharp or original enough France the corner, and what could everything to get the girl. be more fitting than a flirty And lose everything he does. to be a biting satire” French rom-com about an Eventually resorting to Irene’s upper-class escort? line of business, Jean soon The film stars the beautiful becomes a firm favourite with ●●● As Luis Bunuel showed in his Reilly), parents of the ‘disfigured’ child, Audrey Tautou as Irene, a rich older ladies. surrealist great, The Exterminating and the Cowans (Kate Winslet and self-proclaimed escort who The film is incredibly clichéd Angel, gather a group of impeccable Christoph Waltz), parents of the aggres- frequents only the nicest bars – but since when was that a bourgeois characters, shove them in a sor. Foster excels as the self-consciously and restaurants, funded by bad thing? In this cold weather room together, and you will see all care- liberal mother of the injured boy, pas- a plethora of drooling old it’s the perfect movie for a fully constructed shiny social veneers sionately spewing cloying social ‘truths’ men who happily support her night curled up under your disintegrate into uncouth, animalistic about her experiences in Africa. frivolous lifestyle. duvet with a takeaway and a behavior. All four characters are essentially FILM: Priceless Also in pursuit of the glass (bottle) of wine. Carnage is almost identical, though exaggerated city stereotypes: the smug DIRECTOR: Pierre Salvadori glamorous vixen is Jean (the YEAR: 2006 Carnage less effective, in the way do-gooder, the suited sleazy profes- strangely attractive Gad Alice Bolland it takes a sharp dig at sional, and the right-winger dressed up Elmaleh), a barman hopelessly social hypocrisy amongst all nice and liberal by his embarrassed Roman Polanski ★★★★★ well-groomed elites. wife. Foster is likened to Jane Fonda, Two hopelessly civilised while Waltz patronises the blue-col- professional New York lared Reilly by feigning interest in his couples are thrown into an apartment plumbing business, and pretty Winslet to resolve an altercation between their is called a phony. Cine-filelOve sons. Quickly though, the exchanges Beyond this there is always a sense of polite chitchat and offerings of that neither of the couples ever existed Put down your Titanics, forget supposedly those harsh realities apple cobbler melt into whisky-soaked beyond the apartment, they seem to Sleepless in Seattle and When that begin to talk about real-life squabbling, spousal over-sharing and a share no common history or chemis- Harry Met Sally, and find love - a love where you rescue torrent of vomit in this lacklustre adap- try. Also, by the film’s close Polanski yourself a copy of Romeo and your wife from the clasps of tation of Yasmina Reza’s play Gods of has included such a number of foiled Juliet. Then work yourself a pimp, race across America Carnage. attempts by the Cowans to leave the towards Annie Hall, and there with a case full of cocaine in The two couples in question are the Longstreet’s apartment it becomes you’ll find my personal favorite the hope of a hasty exit across Longstreets (Jodie Foster and John C overly theatrical. On stage this may L-O-V-E film,True Romance. I the border to Mexico. have been amusing but here it’s artifi- read somewhere that ‘you should Its an unlikely romance, both in cial and gimmicky. be embarrassed your love life isn’t as cool the context of the film and in real life, but Films deconstructing and satirizing as this movie’. I couldn’t agree more. it’s a bloody cool one. Christian Slater the lives and pretenses of the middle This is Tarantino on love (via Tony and Patricia Arquette never looked so classes aren’t especially hard to come by Scott) and he smashes it. As you’d expect good, and when you’ve made it through and there are many done better than this. the film is lush, bursting with colour; this rollercoaster you will find yourself, Half an hour in and we get it; people are set to a brilliant soundtrack including a strangely, yearning for a love as cool as obsessed by weird social conventions. ‘theme song’ by Hans Zimmer and the theirs, and for a little Elvis of your own. Carnage isn’t sharp or original enough crisp voice of Chris Isaak. Contrasted Tom Heart to be a biting satire, and hasn’t the with tracks like Nymphomanias’ ‘I Want emotional depth to make any impor- Your Body’ and ‘Outshined’ by Sound- TRUE ROMANCE is sCREENEd fOR fREE ON tant statement about social identity. garden, the film is built on contrasts, and 13Th fEb, 7pM - ARChiTECTURE dEpT

Abby Kearney. On a similar theme: pierrot le fou (Jean-Luc Godard, 1965), before sunset (Richard Linklater, 2004), Annie hall (Woody Allen, 1977) ● Carnage is currently showing at the Oscar-winners Christoph Waltz and Kate Winslet in Carnage Arts Picturehouse WEEK 4 — FEBRUARY 10 2012 ART 25

HOLLYLook GUPTA Curator e Sebastiano Secret Barassi shows Life Holly Guptaof howKettle’s to appreciate the Yard small things oes anyone remember the woman who loved here’s a reflection of a artists’ rather than straightforwardly a the painting so much she venetian blind, can you collector or curator, Ede had a diff er- kissed it? No? Admittedly see it?’ In Kettle’s Yard, ent way of going about things. Wallis, aD fairly minor occurrence in the Sebastiano Barassi makes who he incidentally never met, used scheme of things, the antics of the me stand in front of a to send parcels of ten or twenty works; intriguingly named Rindy Sam in 2007 painting which catches Ede would return the ones he didn’t like got me thinking. What was it about Cy light off a window. It happens to be by with a cheque. On seeing that the Tate Twombly’s spare triptych ‘Phaedrus’ the Catalan artist Joan Miro. ‘Can you who he then worked for wasn’t going to that she found so compelling? Did she T really say ‘this red stain is testimony see the zigzag pattern, which is contin- buy the main body of Henri Gaudier- ued in the cider-press screw?’ he asks, Brzeska’s work upon the artist’s death ,he to this moment, to the power of art’ pointing to a tall wooden construction declared it ‘unacceptable’ and bought it as advertised on the BBC website? which repeatedly curves around and himself.  ese two men are today the And what was she thinking - on both upon itself, spiralling up to not-quite best represented in the gallery, which counts? touch the small blue painting.  e two contains many signifi cant works: two Perhaps the Guardian’s Jonathon forms sit unconsciously side by side, of the latter’s sculptures were recently Jones has some of the answers. One one confi dent, one on the brink of not loaned to Tate Britain for its exhibition of his blog posts speculates on the being there at all. on the Vorticist movement (Barassi general phenomenon of physical art- His point is to highlight the ‘conver- voices displeasure at Gaudier-Brzeska’s love at some length before coming sations’ happening between the objects underrepresentation). to the conclusion that there’s ‘no use at Kettle’s Yard, placed in order to allow A joy of the collection as a whole is romanticising gross vandalism’. Images the mind of the viewer to create con- its apparent lack of an agenda: it does of the Phaedrus panel post-smooch do nections and connotations. Like in a not represent anything more than an “You can fi nd beauty from all sorts of things” look somewhat sad, degraded – and, still life or piece of music, Barassi tells era and a taste.  e site he selected in yes – vandalised. me, these items are carefully distrib- Cambridge for his project, not as grand mantra seemed to have been that ‘you and surfaces carefully mark the posi- However, at the same time I can’t help uted around the house-stroke-gallery as he desired because ‘he couldn’t fi nd a can fi nd beauty in all sorts of things’. tioning of each item, now set in stone. fi nding it gently amusing.  is is perhaps in order to form a polished work of art college willing’ to support him, instead When Ede grew older and moved However, at the same time it con- because I have a slightly sick sense of in itself: if you remove one note (pebble, embodies its owner’s informal and gen- out of his gallery-home, Kettle’s Yard tinues to function and even to evolve. humour, or more plausibly because the chair or sculpture) you spoil the whole. erous attitude. Wanting people to feel A gallery for changing exhibitions of incident reveals something about our The process was not so much a like ‘they were being welcomed into ‘His mantra seems to have contemporary art has been built, and is bizarre attitudes to art. On one hand, the curatorial as a creative one.  e way someone’s personal space’, he would been that “you can fi nd this year being added to: a large studio, Rindy Sams are falling over themselves Barassi describes Jim Ede, the visionary greet them himself, off ering tea at the beauty in all sorts of things”’ seminar space and art store will form to rub themselves against great works founder, creator and composer of Ket- end of the visit.  e four pre-existing an education wing.  e items on show of art; on the other, the ultra-rich are tle’s Yard, makes him sound as much cottages of Kettle’s Yard, joined hap- in the bedroom of Ede’s wife Helen can tripping over each other to spend ever- of an artist as those whose work he hazardly yet thoughtfully, set the scene changed. A painful transition period be switched around because it was not larger sums of money to possess them. was so passionate about, which ranged for these encounters. saw ‘quite a traumatic time for him’: the open to the public during her life.  ere Both of the above, post-giggle, make from British sculptor Henry Moore to Behind this attitude seems to have life of the fi rst curator was ‘quite diffi - is movement even in apparent stasis. me feel slightly nauseous. Why can’t we the Polish fi sherman Alfred Wallis. A lain a belief in the power of art to change cult’ because Ede couldn’t really let go. And as for Barassi: preservation of the express our love in an appropriate way? work by Brancusi sits on a piano in the in great ways, even if by increments. Today, twelve years after his death, the house and its contents largely keeps How about just (see the same way as a lemon on a table. Images  e lending scheme Ede developed majority of visitors are not students him busy. name of my column) are hung at ground level in way that through which students could have from the university (although some Amidst the building work an looking? Possession, could equally be debasing or practical their own work of art from the gallery still come here to revise before exams, opportunity has also arisen – those in art, is not nine- – a chair is, by luck or chance, located for a term is representative: believing Barassi tells me).  e house no longer Gaudier-Brzeska and Wallis pieces from tenths of the law. adjacently. you should live surrounded by beautiful showcases contemporary art because the collection are now being shown in  ese contradictions seem charac- objects, regardless of means, he found a the display hardly changes, and it is no the exhibition space.  ere is still much teristic. A self-proclaimed ‘friend of way to make this happen for others. His longer 1958. Red dots stuck onto fl oors to be done – and seen.

Eight hundred years have done nothing to dull the vibrancy of the illustrations of a Some people, it seems, thirteenth century Bible: each perfect circle representing a day of creation” have been taking fl attery a bit too seriously”

●●● The first thing that strikes University Library.  e manuscripts art (including a pair of red leather ●●● Imitation, I was always told, is the me when I walk into the University are ordered in a rough chronological slippers studded with green crystals highest form of fl attery. Some people, Library’s exhibition room is arrangement, ranging from the fi rst taken from beetle shells – the nod to it seems, have been taking fl attery a bit Shelf Lives how small it is, how quiet, century BC to the twentieth century. Orientalism is irresistible here), and too seriously. Canadian based artist Jeff dimly-lit and empty (OK, Eight hundred years have done nothing another to Chinese art (including a Hamada has started ‘remake’– a project The University Library so it’s 9am on a Saturday to dull the vibrancy of the illustrations manuscript where you can still see centred on, you guessed it, remaking until 16 June morning, I suppose that of a thirteenth century Bible which the lines, albeit a little faded, that the famous works of art. But rather than could explain it). catches my eye; each perfect circle, scribe drew on to keep his writing being about replicating classics stroke ★★★★★ Shelf Life is essentially representing each day of creation, is aligned). for stroke, entries must be photographs a collection of collections; studded with glimmering gold stars I move inside. We’re skipping only, with creative energy Booooooom: a display of the donations which leap from the discoloured through the centuries now. A fi fteenth going into ‘re-creating Remake/Submissions of previous Cambridge-students- pages. century Roman binding with intricate and re-staging the image’. turned-College-Masters to the  ere is a section devoted to Persian red and gold knotwork. An eighteenth The 30 or so entries booooooom.com/ century binding made of embossed range from the inspired to 2011/10/0 4/ silver. At the back of the room is the much-to-be-desired. remake-submissions/ an original manuscript written by A personal favourite has Virginia Woolf. She has a small, to be Stefano Telloni’s characteristic scrawl, and writing that version of ‘Le Désespéré’ slants up at the ends of her lines. It’s by Gustave Courbet. Telloni has got the Hidden Treasures a treasure chest for literature lovers dramatic wide-eyed facial expression This portrait of Lady Margaret Beaufort, here. John Clare and John Donne stare down, quite literally, to an art. mother of King Henry VII, has been up at you from the ink at the other side While it’s good fun just to enjoy held at St John’s since 1598. She holds of the glass. the new interpretations, I have to add a special place in its history, having Shelf Life is a small, random but that they do make you look afresh at varied collection of literary treasures. paintings which have become overly begun the process of transforming the Maybe you do need to be a bit of a familiar. As with those ‘spot the diff er- ancient hospital of St John the Evangelist geek to really enjoy it; to look at a ence’ puzzles, in looking at two versions into a college. magnifi cent edition of the Chronicle of you notice subtle nuances previously World History and imagine it resting hidden. Do you know what masterpieces your on the shelf of a King or an Earl; to  at said, I could have done without college has tucked away? see an Anglo Saxon prayer book and Spencer Harding’s remake of ‘Wan- consider that twelve hundred years ago derer above the Sea of Fog’ by Caspar Watch VarsiTV’s series ‘Hidden Treasures’ to another pairs of eyes admired the very Friedrich – I wouldn’t be surprised fi nd out more about the portraits at St John’s same page. Yes. You probably do have if it was a holiday picture of his that to be a geek. But hey, it’s Cambridge. he happened to notice bore a slight Aren’t we all? resemblance to the aforementioned. Assallah Tahir Hector Manthorpe 26 FAshion february 10 2012 — week 4 Je t’aime ... moi non plus! week 4 — february 10 2012 FASHION 27

ALICE AND ARTHUR WEAR (L-R Clockwise) 1 Alice wears Dress Three Floor Arthur wears Hat Model’s Own Shirt Vintage 2 Dress Three Floor3 All Clothes Three Floor 4 Alice wears Jumper Three Floor Skirt Stylist’s Own Shoes Model’s Own Arthur wears Shirt Vintage Hat Shoes and Trainers Model’s Own 5 Jumper Three Floor Skirt Stylist’s Own 6 Dress Three Floor 7 Shirt Vintage Hat Shoes and Trainers Model’s Own WITH THANKS TO JEMPORIUM VINTAGE AND THREE FLOOR CLOTHING PHOTOGRAPHS Vanessa Jackman STYLING Claire Healy & Naomi Pallas MODELS Alice Gibb & Arthur Sturridge 28 FASHION FEBRUARY 10 2012 — WEEK 4

TasteCLAIRE HEALY & NAOMI PALLAS

y mind is telling me no/ CreepsWill our obsession with other on people’s the clothes ever street end? Abbie Saunders investigates But my body, my body’s telling me yessss!” treet Style: a term which, real than, say, an editorial in a glossy future! I suspect the number of blogs Whilst R.Kelly here to most fashion followers, magazine where the model has been across the world will continue to mightM be talking about there being has connotations of trawling in hair and make-up for a couple of g r o w.” nothing wrong with a little bump ‘n’ through page upon page hours, a stylist is choosing the clothes, However, Vanessa Jackman is one of grind, when it comes to the shopping of style-savvy fashionistas there is great lighting and an amazing many super-bloggers to have turned experience of a committed ‘man- initiating a reaction that is known as photographer. Girls use those shoots as away from fashion, and towards repeller’, the King of R&B’s words ring S‘outfi t envy’ in its greatest extreme: inspiration and then interpret/make it lifestyle, scenic, and travel photography just as true. Every fashion-conscious “Oohs” and “Aahs” and “I need THATs.” their own for everyday life - and that is in the recent months. For her, Street shopper is - at some point - faced But what is it about ‘street style’ that has Style was never the end goal: “there with a sartorial decision that puts got us hooked on the likes of Vanessa “I can’t see an end to are so many people I meet that I spend relations with the opposite sex at Jackman and Garance Doré’s blogs, only a few seconds photographing risk. According to Leandra Medine of refreshing the page twice-daily like the the insatiable appetite that I would love to spend more time awesome blog e Man Repeller, this dedicated fans that we are? for Street Style in the with, to make portraits.”  is shift in specifi c type of fashion girl is defi ned The concept of Street Style has the industry’s aesthetic has led to a as follows: transcended the boundaries of fashion near future” ‘wide-angle’ approach towards fashion Man repeller – noun: ‘outfi tting journalism, reaching its target audience photography: covering everything oneself in a sartorially off ensive way in a way that no catwalk show could what Street Style captures.” from Street Style - to cupcakes. that will result in repelling members fathom. Just about every other Vogue- So is it the accessibility of the So why do we obsess over such trivial of the opposite sex. Such garments reader now has a fashion blog of their outfi ts that draws us to street style details such as the print on a fl oral skirt, include, but are not limited to: harem own, trying to emulate the success photography? Perhaps, as long as the or a decorated muffi n, when there are pants, boyfriend jeans, overalls (see: stories of worldwide Street Style catwalk survives, so too will street style. obviously much greater concerns in human repelling), shoulder pads, photographers, and there seems to be We can look to these photographs of life? Perhaps this broadening of the full length jumpsuits, jewellery that an ever-increasing market for it. Let’s anybodies, everybodies, nobodies, to subjects of fashion photography is resembles violent weaponry and face it: many among us have to admit contextualise the appeal of the catwalk a means of accommodating a more clogs.’ If you have worn any of these to being caught up in the whirlwind – and to provide a refreshing change worldly substance, perhaps it’s a step items, then congrats - you repel men! of ‘shoe porn’, ‘leather lust’, and ‘thrift- from its polish. But with more and away from the Street Style we know Perhaps your new plaid maxi dress shop fi nds’ that these sites provide... more amateur-photographers taking to and love: or maybe it’s as simple as our with matching poncho wasn’t such Varsity caught up with lawyer- the streets and fi lling the blogosphere inherent attraction to a pretty picture a good decision after all. As Fashion turned-photographer Vanessa Jackman with mediocre photographs - of – regardless whether they contain Month rolls around this week, the (our photographer this week) to fi nd mediocre outfi ts - is the novelty likely clothes. style set’s choices will hold 10% of out her take on the world’s lust for to wear thin? Vanessa Jackman thinks the population in pure fascination, ‘street style’: “I think people love street not. “I can’t see an end to the insatiable ● Check out more of Vanessa’ s photos whilst the rest of the nation scratch style because it is a little more raw and appetite for Street Style in the near at: vanessajackman.blogspot.com their heads in bemusement. But the heart wants what the heart wants: and if the object of your aff ection is The heart wants what the heart wants – fi nd your perfect an overpriced neon tweed jacket then that is completely fi ne with us. It’ll match, from smutty rings to cutesy cards remain loyal, won’t chat back and will never go to bed angry. Our shoot, named after Serge and Jane’s classic anti-love song - roughly, ‘I love you ... nor do I’ - whispers of young love -and its tribulations.  at, Hot stuff ! Prestat Fine Heart Chocolates, or it just sounded fun cos it was in £8.99, Selfridges French. So for this Valentines week the message of our page is as follows: LCD Ladies Heart Watch if you can fi nd a boy to wear matchy- Pendan Necklace, £20, matchy cutesy clothes with you, great! American Apparel And if not, fi nd solace in our pretty- as-a-picture photographs of Arthur and Alice, explanatory under-wear to remove any nasty surprises and killer movie star couples. If you’re most comfortable in harem pants, then go for it girlfriend ... just expect a gift card for New Look Heart and Sparkle T- to land ‘I’ve got 99 Problems, But You in your Shirt, £20, Ain’t One’ Card, £2.75, ediemac.com pigeon lazyoaf.co.uk hole come the 14th...

Sex, Violence, Sharp Bobs – we’re talking about our Doom Generation: Killerrrr Style! ‘FULL BUSH’ and ‘Shimmer Twins’ Red Heart False Eyelashes, £15, Asos ‘UNCUT’ pants, £18 each, House of Holland

‘Tea to my Heart’ Infuser, £14, Urban Outfi tters ‘Doggie Style’ Karma Sutra Ring, £25.97, etsy.com/ shop/erotic WEEk 4 — FEBRuaRy 10 2012 SpOrt 29

IntervIew Blues lose in a spirited What’s your sport? Olivia FitzGerald talks to Eton Fives player Jack Weller performance LAurA KirK OLiviA FiTzGErALd what are the main skills involved? In order of importance, hand-eye coordination, charming manners, quick acceleration and/or long arms, the ability to bend over quickly and often without warning, lightning reactions, determination and drive (but not so much as to compromise no.2) when did you first start and why? I first started playing in Year 6 at school, half due to the suggestions of a suspect history teacher who ran fives and half through hearing that you got to miss whole days off school travelling Jack keeps his coat on while playing to Eton, Shrewsbury and other magical lands. Any fitness or nutrition regime involved? Is there a particular type of person who Nothing of note, though occasionally tends to play eton Fives? I attempt to eat with my gloves on to Ex and current public school boys. improve dexterity and break them in. Is there anything particular about Fives why would you recommend it to that specifically appeals to you? someone who has never played the You can be very mediocre, perish the game before to do so now? thoughts of a severe training regime It is one of the most severely and still consider yourself to be in the underplayed games in the country top 100 players in the country… there seeing as only a handful of schools are probably about 150. I also enjoy have the resources to offer it as a its deceptive nature, although it may sport. The layout of a court with The Cambridge GK intercepts a Loughborough attack seem like glorified “catch” or “pat-ball” steps and a buttress would indicate it can be just as tiring and demanding that the last thing you should do in CAmbrIdGe 39 making some superb feeds to the Cam- shooters and allowing the Blues to come as squash, not to mention that matches it is run around as fast as you can, LOuGHbOrOuGH 47 bridge shooters. within four goals of the opposition. can go on as long as 3 hours. but the quirky nature of the court Cambridge started the second quar- The fourth quarter saw Cambridge and rules adds to the appeal – you by Laura Kirk ter with much greater intensity, causing display some excellent attacking play, How often do you practise? also get to say silly posh words turnovers from the Loughborough particularly in the form of Gina Dal- About 3-4 hours a week, unfortunately like “blaggard” and “pepper-pot” The Netball Blues produced a gutsy per- centre-passes and producing flow- gleish at GA, whose movement around the team is restricted by only having unashamedly. formance to lose narrowly to a strong ing transitional plays. Loughborough’s the Loughborough end allowed the access to one court. OLiviA FiTzGErALd Loughborough 3rds side. Following a former composure and dominance was Blues to release shooter Jade Lane and heavy defeat to Leeds Metropolitan unsettled by the pressure of the Cam- put more pressure on the opposition. last week, the Blues had regrouped and bridge defence, and at times the Blues Unfortunately, Cambridge could not went toe-to-toe with Loughborough appeared completely dominant. sustain the pressure they had shown for the majority of the game. throughout the match and Loughbor- Loughborough started strongest, ‘The Blues will not be ough ran out eventual winners with the their shooters capitalising on their final score 39-47. opportunities and the uncharacteristic disheartened by this The Blues will not be disheartened by handling errors of the Blues, carving out this defeat, particularly given that their a lead in the first few minutes. However, defeat’ opposition had recently beaten their some particularly aggressive defending very own Loughborough 2nd team the by Chloe Maine and Laura Spence in With the gap between the scores rap- previous week. The Blues will be looking the Cambridge end prevented Lough- idly closing, Sophia Anderson’ superb to build on this spirited performance, borough from relaxing into a flow, defence caused countless turnovers in in which they improved rapidly as the and allowed the Blues to build their the Cambridge end, preventing Lough- game went on, as they build towards attacking play with Elizabeth Dalgleish borough from feeding the ball into their Varsity at the end of February. Apparently this is what Eton Fives looks like

Hockey Blues left out in the coldJACK NAyLOr by Holcombe CAmbrIdGe 2 Coach Chris Marriot’s half-time the ball to Stott, who placed a killer HOLCOmbe 3 talk helped the team to focus, and finish into the bottom corner for her Cambridge went back to the field with second goal, to make the score 3-2. By Hannah rickman newfound self-belief. The next ten min- There was plenty of time left for the HockEy coRRESPoNDENT utes saw a return to the fluent, confident Blues, but regrettably with the margin narrowed the team returned to a more It was a disappointing day for the ‘Stott placed a killer finish conservative style of play. As legs tired, Women’s Hockey Blues, who travelled into the bottom corner for the Cambridge players’ footwork and to Kent for a fixture against fellow mid- discipline deteriorated, and captain table team Holcombe. Over the last her second’ Addy was unlucky to receive a green few weeks the Blues have struggled to card for a missed tackle. Both teams convert promising performances into play which the blues have aspired to all had chances, with keeper Vicky Evans results. season. A long ball out of midfield was doing well to clear a number of loose The game was played in subzero tem- chased down by Maskell, who drove balls. However, despite some promising peratures and it was Holcombe who around the baseline, slipping past two attacks Cambridge were unable to find were quickest off the mark. A cheap The Blues line up in defence players to place an inspired pass across the crucial third goal, with the game turnover of possession combined with the Holcombe goal, which Stott made finishing 3-2 to Holcombe. a flashy display of skill gave Holcombe a Holcombe foot in the D, Cambridge attacking play by Abi Gibb and Georgie no mistake in finishing at the back post. There were some positives to be taken the first goal. A second followed min- won a penalty corner. Becca Naylor’s Kilbourn, resulting in several penalty Captain Mel Addy made some crucial from the second half, but Cambridge utes later, catching Cambridge napping strike was well-saved, and the clearance corners which the Blues were unable to tackles, and the Cambridge press was left the field disappointed to once again to put the score at 2-0 after ten found its way to a Holcombe midfielder, convert. Susie Stott and Alex Maskell working much better. Great work-rate fail to convert promising play into The Blues rallied, with strong tack- whose pass onwards split the Cam- linked up well, with Maskell shot beat- by Izzy Smith and the rest of the for- much-needed points. Star performer les from half-backs Clare Parrish and bridge defence, allowing the striker to ing the keeper but hitting the crossbar. ward line placed increasing pressure on was Alex Maskell in her first season Anna Wilson allowing Cambridge to score on the break to put the Blues 3-0 However, as the half-time whistle blew Holcombe possession, forcing errors for the blues, who impressed with her thread together some attacks. When a behind after fifteen minutes. it was Holcombe who were convinc- which eventually led to a Cambridge relentless work off the ball and aggres- ball from the midfield was flicked onto The rest of the first half saw skilful ingly dominating play. short corner. Charlie Banfield slipped sive play with it. 30 SpOrt fEBRUARy 10 2012 — wEEk 4

timKickabout kennett Snow stopping the Hare I’ll miss you Fabio abio Capello has quit his role ongoing corruption in the game. as England manager. I am sad. Arguably the best thing Prandelli I grew to respect Capello has done is to call up Simone Farina, and Hounds POlly KeeN when I found out that he lead left back with newly promoted FMilan to 58 unbeaten games in Serie Serie B team Gubbio. Farina was A. I grew to like him when I found out a whistleblower in a match-fixing that he was a collector of fine art (his scandal. Prandelli called him up as a favourite artist is Wassily Kandinsky). reward for his good morals. As a way I also enjoyed the video of him being of highlighting the problems in Italian mean to Stuart Pearce, currently the football. As a way of making the England’s caretaker manager, who national team significant again. seems like a bit of an idiot. I would suggest that the next Fabio’s loss will be a cruel blow for England manager should adopt English fortunes. His effectiveness this holistic approach. To make is undeniable. His overall win the England team really stand for percentage is 66.67 per cent, which something. includes a victory over Spain last The FA seem amenable to this idea, November. For reference, Sir Alf given that they’ve stopped John Terry Ramsey recorded a win percentage from being captain because he is of 61.1 per cent, and Steve McClaren undergoing a criminal investigation. 50 per cent. Sadly though, I suspect that they are Simon Kuper and Stefan merely desperate to avoid looking like Szymanski, in their wonderful book they are complacent about racism. Why England Lose, conduct a more Which they are. thorough analysis, concluding that My suggestion for England’s next – making allowances for the small full-time manager would be Brendan sample size – Capello can be said to Rogers, currently of Swansea City. be England’s most overperforming He could try and replicate by Isy Foster manager. Swansea’s possession based style, LACROSSE CAPTAIN So Fabio will be missed. I would much like Gary Speed was doing with suggest that, when looking to replace Wales. He could be given a mandate him, the FA again look to Italy, to introduce promising young whose national team is a model for players like Danny Welbeck, Daniel international football in an age where Sturridge, Kyle Walker and Alex Robin Brown in the Men’s A Race it no longer represents the most elite Oxlade-Chamberlain into the senior by Polly Keen in a very strong field from Will Ryle- the spirit of the Light Blue Ladies was competition. team. He could make the English Hodges (37th), Will Mackay (47th) and unquestionable through the event. Italy, under the stewardship of national team a statement of intent. Cambridge University Hare and Tom Watkins (55th) to form the scor- Individual highlights were Fiona Cesare Prandelli, are about more A national team committed to style, Hounds travelled to Cardiff last week- ing quartet. St Mary’s took the overall Hughes finishing in a very solid 68th than just results. Prandelli has youth and morality. A team who aim end for the British Universities Cross team title with Cambridge finishing and Polly Keen’s 51st place in spite of applied domestic disciplinary bans to impart principles to a Country Championships with high in a very creditable 5th place; to walk many recent injury problems. to his international call ups. He has game that all too often expectations. The frozen solid ground away disappointed from finishing just Last off was the Men’s 8.1 km B race organising training on a pitch built seems to represent and extreme lack of hills didn’t resem- outside the medals is testament to the although the standard definitely defied with Mafia money, and confiscated everything that is ble your typical cross country course, team’s current strength and depth. the race title! This gave Cambridge by the police, to call attention to the wrong with the country. however neither this, nor the consis- ample opportunity to exhibit the depth tently falling snow, fazed the hardy light of talent within the club at the moment. blue runners. ‘The spirit of the Matt Grant made a very welcome intervieW Following their fantastic Varsity vic- light Blue ladies was return to racing after injury, finish- tory in December and a 4th place team ing in 34th place and leading the Light finish in 2011, the Cambridge Men’s unquestionable’ Blues home, with Cambridge’s B and C A team had high hopes of displaying teams finished 12th and 20th respec- their distance running pedigree against As the snow continued to flurry, tively. Factoring in the multiple teams Off the field the rest of Britain’s institutions. Over the women were next to race over 7.4 from St Mary’s and Loughborough, it This week Olivia FitzGerald meets Lucy the 10.6 km race, the silver medallist km. With several of Cambridge’s top was impressive to note that only four from Varsity, Robin Brown was the first female athletes missing due to illness institutions were able to field a stron- McGennity, co-ordinator of BUCS fixtures Cambridge finisher in 34th, backed and injury, the Light Blues were disad- ger second team than Cambridge on up by extremely decent performances vantaged in the team stakes. However this day. What is involved as co-ordinator for than many of the opposition. My BUCS fixtures? skills as a negotiator have increased As Bookings and Sports Club dramatically in the last four years! Co-ordinator, half my job involves managing the bookings for the Do you ever get to watch any of the facilities under the Physical Education games you organise? Pythons on the way up Department and the other half Not as much as I would like. CUGRIDIRON.CO.UK involves all the BUCS administration. Unfortunately, as the start times for By Thomas Piachaud This includes the weekly BUCS BUCS matches are all varied, problems AMERICAN fOOTBALL CAPTAIN fixtures, individual competitions, arise at different times so it makes rearrangements, disciplinary issues it very hard to get out of the office. Halfway through their season, the and much much more. It is important for the clubs and our Cambridge Pythons talk past, pres- opposition that I am contactable for as ent and future. Team Captain and Favourite part of the job? much of the afternoon as possible. founder Thomas Piachaud spoke with Simply, when we win. There’s nothing Varsity: “With four games under our like good results being sent in on What do you do in your spare time? belt, I couldn’t be happier with where a Wednesday evening/Thursday Watch as much sport as possible! I we stand.” The Pythons have a record morning. It’s always satisfying when have an Arsenal season ticket so am at of 1-3 in the British Universities Amer- all the hard work put in by myself and The Emirates most weeks with my Dad, ican Football League, but Piachaud is the teams pays off. I especially enjoy although this has been quite painful at optimistic. “The majority of our play- the fixtures when we beat Oxford for times this season! ers have only been playing for three the bragging rights when I attend months, a fact I have to keep reminding regional meetings where I see l Each week Varsity will be myself.” In spite of this inexperience, my Oxford counterpart. featuring ‘Off the field’, meeting the Pythons beat local rivals ARU, “a The Pythons in action earlier in the season someone whose work to support definite sweet point.” With the snowy Worst part of the job? the teams of Cambridge is weather postponing the Pythons fix- new to the sport. In its 18 month player I never thought I would repre- Waking up on a not always appropriately ture against Greenwich, they found existence the squad has grown from sent my university at sport, but I get Wednesday morning acknowledged. If you have time to enjoy the Superbowl together at Piachaud alone to 37 registered players to do exactly that with the Pythons. to bad weather! This is a particular ‘Unheralded the Union. “We had around 300 people and 5 coaches. “We are hoping to move I couldn’t recommend Gridiron (an always a nightmare as I Hero’ who you think deserves attend the party we put on; let’s hope forward in terms of recruitment, but at umbrella term for football played in the know it’ll mean fixtures recognition, please email some turn into players!” the moment we don’t have shoulder- United States and Canada) more highly will need rearranging. [email protected] American football is unlike soccer or pads for everyone, a position I didn’t as an exciting, physical and rewarding This can be tough with your nomination. rugby in the respect that the majority of think I would be in in our first year!” game. And who wouldn’t want team as Cambridge people who turn up for training at the Varsity spoke to rookie Oliver Tat- outings to play pre-Super Bowl touch in terms are beginning of the year are completely tersall: “Having been an average soccer the snow on Parker’s Piece?” shorter Good smile lucy! WEEK 4 — FEBRUARY 10 2012 SPORT 31

Varsity Crossword NO. 538 e Fab

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 ACROSS DOWN 9 Push, nag, create emotional 1 Hot food I preceded with cold (6) Varsity Quiz 9 10 problems (4-3) 2 Performs dizzy ascent (6) 10 3 Universal best man is idealistic (7) Initially Jude used the extra to make 1. Why are engagement rings 11 Demonstrating collect, Ernest in rope (4) 4 worn on the fourth fi nger of the church (7) How to fi sh and surf? (6) left hand? 11 12 12 Composer quietly under capacity in 5 Put strangely in phrase to invoke fi rst instance (7) punishment for thief (8) 2. 13 6 How many words are there for Police offi cer to check up on mid- Handle parchment for fi ring love in Greek? form (9) gunpowder (10) 13 14 15 15 Chip up for hole before clubhouse 7 Remove and bury after Sid went 3. How many couples get married (5) back (8) in Las Vegas every day? 16 Removed each pen to make less 8 Write message and arrange nice fi rst classy (7) party with her (8) 4. Which fashion mag famously 19 14 16 17 18 19 Penguin ruler (7) Unknowns arranged with nice deep had a naked Beth Ditto on its 20 First noisy anglers in a ditch see suitability (10) debut front cover? dragonfl y larva (5) 16 Trick and entice showing disrespect 21 Re-sit in start of physics gives rise to (8) 5. Apart from modeling and 17 20 21 22 23 24 infl ammation (9) Versions cut charged particles (8) sining, what do Vanessa 25 Envious stare at drugs containing 18 Disguised no late heartless men; Paradis and Kate Moss have in nasty unknown (4,3) oxygen, for example (8) common? 26 Covering a third of the planet, make 22 Cork shooter amongst alcopop 6. In what year did Jeanette 25 26 27 peace without unknown in charge gunge (6) (7) 23 Duck when trade union is followed Winterson receive her OBE? 28 God very good on a goddess (7) by loud man (6) 7. 29 Hard to see my uncle Arthur inside 24 Building safe against attack and What is the most-read children’s (7) within a nurse cures (6) book in the UK? 28 29 27 Straw rooster (4) Set by Enjoy 8. Whose son is Cupid? ANSWERS NO. 537: ACROSS 1 Famish 4 Headache 10 Rancour 11 Located 12 Wheelwrights 14 Around the clock 9. 17 Larger than life 20 Stately homes 24 Olympic 25 Allegro 26 Entitled 27 London How long did it take after DOWN 1 Forswear 2 Montego Bay 3 Seoul 5 Eclogue 6 Decathlon 7 City 8 Eddy 9 Dry Rot 13 15 16 18 19 21 22 23 DH Lawrence wrote Lady Scrimmaged Nightspot Teaspoon Reticle Hallam Hello Rome Cyst Chatterley’s Lover for it to be published?

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29 Netball: A gutsy performance with some excellent attacking play from Cambridge BLUES VS. LOUGHBOROUGH

Table tennis take top of the league UNIVERSITY  e Cambridge Men’s Table Tennis team defeated rivals King’s College London 14-3 in the Mo’ snow, no problem JOHANNES WHITTAM penultimate match of the season in an exciting but eventually crushing victory.  e team was inspired on two fronts: to avenge a defeat last year in the BUCS Cup, and to complete a double victory after previously beating King’s the week before.  e match began rather tensely with King’s College front man Brian Li winning his fi rst match easily. However, after Wing Chan defeated Brian Li in the second round of matches after a fi ve-set thriller, the momentum was fi rmly in Cambridge’s favour and stayed that way for the rest of the match.  e King’s team, feeling dejected, were unable to stop Nick, Takehiro and Wing from collecting all four singles victories. Wing was chosen as the Man of the match, and the win today makes him the only Cambridge player unbeaten in the league this season. Tennis Blues reduce Leicester to rubble UNIVERSITY  e Cambridge Tennis Blues travelled to a dreary Corby to take on Leicester in a top-versus- With not much by way of a run-up, it was a challenge getting the height to get up on the rail. Mike shows you how bottom clash in Midlands Division 1A. It was expected to be a routine by Adam Fuller however. First, the ski-unfriendly steps and they almost did with a couple of thing was incredible. Ludicrous, to victory for the Blues, who took out had to be turned into a fl at ramp. Sec- big bails. Mike had no such hesitation, see four guys riding a rail on the Sidg- the tie in a whitewash in Michelmas On Saturday night snow fell, and the ondly, a jump had to be manufactured and was absolutely “stomping it”, riding wick site. Hilarious and terrifying, Term. response was mixed. Many returned to get up onto the rail. Finally, suitable the whole rail time and time again like some of the bails. So you can keep your Playing at number one, Sven to childhood, building snow-fi gures camera trickery had to be set up to cap- clockwork.  e others were quick to snow-dusted colleges, your snowball Sylvester barely broke a sweat as he and throwing snowballs with reckless ture the moment. As Josh put it, “this is point out why it was easier for him (“it’s fi ghts and your monstrous snowmen. took out his match 6-0, 6-0 in less abandon. For most of the sportsmen for Facebook”. Hannis came well pre- easier to [insert slidey thing here]”), but Because the real place to be was out than 45 minutes. After losing a tight of Cambridge, however, the response pared, with a remote fl ash to compen- in reality, he was just nailing it. the back of Divinity, watching Mikey service game at 2-1, number two was less positive. With many matches sate for the grey day. A lot of hard graft It was a joy to behold, and the whole stomp a rail. Josh Phillips recovered to fi nd his already cancelled on Saturday due to later, and they were good to go. rhythm and take out the match 6-2, the cold, snow brought the inevitable  at didn’t mean it was easy. With 6-1. Making his debut, Fred Floether postponement of yet more, and made not much of a run-up, it was a challenge made a perfect start to his Blues further laughing stock of our so-called career with a 6-0, 6-0 victory. At “winter sports”. Indeed, true winter ‘Mike was stomping it’ number four, fi rst-year Ryan Ammar weather can even send professional About Thames conceded only seven points winning sportsmen packing, with multiple pre- 6-1, 6-0. mier league fi xtures called off over the getting the height to get up on the rail. by Milo Harries Clubs of both universities are to receive Cambridge went on to win both weekend. However for the select few Once you did, it was about commit- equal funding from the sponsors, mean- doubles matches to give them a of the Cambridge University Ski and ment, because “you’re not going to do Sir Matthew Pinsent, speaking at ing that when the move does occur, the comfortable whitewash against the Snowboard Club Freestyle team, such it by accident”. With a brick wall on one Wednesday’s press conference at Som- composition of the women’s crews will league bottom feeders and a two surprisingly seasonal weather was a side and a sizeable drop on the other, erset House, described it as “an enor- likely be diff erent to the crews of the point lead at the top of the table. source of instant excitement. that was certainly believeable. mous day for the Boat Race”: in 2015, Henley days.  e increase in funding Normally consigned to the sterile As passers by stopped to stand and the women’s Boat Race will move from for the Women’s Boat Clubs is expected snow-dome in Milton Keynes, this was stare (and obviously take pictures), Henley to London to take place on the to bring with it a jump in the number Sport cancelled fi nally the opportunity to play a “home” the freestylers began to make head- same course as the men’s. Varsity had of top-level foreign postgraduate row- EVERYWHERE  e inclement weather fi xture, and choosing the right spot was way. Designated “too slow” for boards, a man on the scene to hear the full ers, Gillespie saying that he would be led to cancellations for most critical. Scouts went out, and it was the skiers began to fi nd the rail, with details, and to check that Sir Matthew “absolutely astonished” if future Wom- outdoor sports. In college rowing, clear that the number one option wasn’t Brookes leading the charge only to take is as nice in person as on television (he en’s Boat Race crews did not contain a the Newnham Short Course was viable. Undeterred, Salt-dog ventured a bad knock to the ribs. Salt-piece and is, he’s lovely). Robert Gillespie, Chair- similar number of elite athletes to the cancelled, while no college hockey into the Sidgwick site, and struck gold: Geoff made similar progress, getting up man of the Boat Race Company Ltd., men’s boats. He predicts that amongst or netball was played.  e Blues “Found a sweet rail in Sidgwick oppo- onto the rail but never riding the length welcomed the advent of “complete par- outstanding American grads in partic- rugby team had their fi xture against site divinity faculty.” Game on. of it.  e reason for this hesitation was ity”, saying that it was the culmination ular, “demand [for places] will outstrip the Army postponed due to a frozen The buildup was far from over, clear – catch one ski and you’ve had it, of a “natural and logical progression”. supply in a very signifi cant way”. pitch, while the Addenbrooke’s Cup, ADAM FULLER He explained that the delay until 2015 which would have seen a footballer’s will allow the benefi ts of the funding ‘A fabulous step forward’ Town vs Gown, was also called off . increase to fi lter through over two full Similarly, university lacrosse and Boat Race cycles, whilst also giving hockey did not go ahead. time to address the “massive organisa- Good news, then, and not only for tional challenge” of augmenting what is those barely-affi liated-to-the-univer- already a substantial event. sity postgraduate rowers of the future. ● Looking forward, the Robinson It was also announced that global Baroness Grey- ompson, Chair of the Head today is looking unlikely, investments company BNY Mellon will Commission of the Future of Women’s while the women’s Blues Boat be sponsoring the Boat Race for fi ve Sport, has called the move “a fabulous hope to compete at Henley years from 2013, whilst its subsidiary, step forward”, saying “I hope that other on Saturday. Newton, will continue to sponsor the sports will follow suit in recognising the Snow and cold led to cancellations across the weekend and into the week women’s.  e men’s and women’s Boat importance of women in sport”.