02A-Apr-2021 Fools Issue
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Star Gazer News Astronomy News for Bluewater Stargazers Vol 15 No.2a Apr 2021 Apr 2021 SGN April Fool Issue p 1: Astronomical April Fool’s Jokes p 2: Best Astronomy Joke of All Time p 3: Newly-named Clair-obscur features on the Moon! Even cave folks were subject to "aperture fever”. And as for p 4: Cartoon page sticker prices, the $6 refractor was almost as expensive as the $8 light bucket! Some things never change, -except that salesmen p 5: April Fool’s Astronomy Pranks rarely wear ties anymore. p 6: Astronomy Pranks (cont’d) p 7: Make your own Personal Planetarium! p 8: Constellation map for northern skies p 10: The Miscellaneous page -includes free scope! p 11:“Deteriorata” c/o Christopher Guest of “Spinal Tap” Astronomical April Fool’s Jokes By David Dickinson (Mar 2013) in Universe Today The first day of April is always a traditional time for pranks and puns, and astronomers and scientists aren’t above an April Fools’ Day shenanigan or two. Hey, I gotta admit, as a freelance science journalist, even my radar will be up tomorrow as I’m sure that someone will try to slide some wowzers by the credulous media, as they always have in the past. If the aliens wanted to conquer the Earth it’s wide open to ‘em on April 1st, I’m just sayin’. Who would believe the tweets were for real, as they landed ray guns ablaze on the White House lawn? Trust us; you won’t 1976, Astronomer Sir Patrick Moore made an see such April Fools’ hi-jinks from Universe Today. If you announcement along a similar vein to BBC listeners. A rare read it here, the alien invasion is for real, and you can begin conjunction of the planets Pluto (which was still classified stockpiling food and ammo appropriately in the best as a planet at the time) & Jupiter would weaken the tradition of Falling Skies. gravitational field of the Earth at precisely 9:47AM. This would cause the law of gravity to become temporarily Here (and continued on page 5 -ed) are just some of the suspended, and cause things to fly about. Big hint: Pluto classic astronomical April Fools’ jokes perpetrated in the was nowhere near the gas giant at the time. Not that it past. We start out with “The Jupiter Effect”. would matter or have any consequence for the Earth! In 1974, John Gribbin published The Jupiter Effect, claiming Although the hoax was quickly revealed, that didn’t stop that a Grand Alignment of the planets would spell several listeners from calling in and reporting observed doomsday for the Earth on March 10th, 1982. On April 1st results from the fake Jovian-Plutonian Gravitational effect! S G N BAS News Apr 2021 pg 2 !"#$%&"'()* + , - )(./)0# /1 02( &$0"3"0"(# /4 02( BAS Executive 2021-2099 5%6(7&0() 8#0)/1/'"$&% I)(#">(10* E/21 F%91"&%6C +/$"(09 :4/)'()%9 5)6$( #0&)A&J()K/21L)/A()#?$/' ;/6109 8#0)/1/'"$&% +/$"(09< =60 &19 /."1"/1# .)(#(10(> M@I)(#">(10* N/O P(##%() J/(LJ/(C(##%()?$/' 2()("1 &)( 1/0 1($(##&)"%9 +($)(0&)9* Q/))&"1( R/>A()# (1>/)#(> =9 58+? +(( 02( 58+ %/))&"1()/>A()#STLA'&"%?$/' 7(=#"0( &0 777?=%6(7&0()�)/1/'9?$/' B)()()* ;2()9% !&7#/1 4/) 6.@0/@>&0( >(0&"%# )(%&0"1A 0/ $2()9%?>&7#/1L=(%%?1(0 58+ (3(10#? B2( 58+ 7(=%/A "# =&$CD I�@I)(#? 8&)/1 B/. 7"02 &)0"$%(# /4 "''(>"&0( "10()(#0 7)"00(1 =9 3&)"/6# 58+ '('=()#?Or Maybe +,-Not. "# .)/>6$(> &1> (>"0(> =9 E/21 F%91"&%6C? G &' #/%(%9 )(#./1#"=%( 4/) "0# $/10(10? H/6) /)"A"1&% &)0"$%(#D "'&A(#D /."1"/1#D $/''(10#D /=#()3"1A )(./)0#D (0$?D &)( 7(%$/'(? G )(#()3( 02( )"A20 0/ (>"0 4/) =)(3"09 BAS Club Events in April This Special April Fool SGN issue celebrates much that is hilarious in Astronomy (or at least what your cabin-fevered Some BAS events are underway for 2021. A number have been editor thinks is hilarious. So give me a break, I have been cancelled due to you-know-what. cooped up with the same person for more than a year Event times in EDT with 24-h clock unless indicated otherwise now…). The editor has been saving up more off-the-wall Apr 03 Sun Viewing at CFHT (Mauna Kea) CANCELLED articles from the past year, and recycled some from past issues. Hopefully, these will make your cooped-up days a 07 Wed 19:00 BAS Zoom (Trivia Night) bit more manageable. Spring has sprung and we need a bit 11 Tue FM -clouded out of silly to help us through these trying times. 19 Wed LQ -postponed to next month or 2022 22 Sat Messier Marathon Arizona Sky Village The Best Joke of All Time CANCELLED due to impending dust storm The British Association for the Advancement of Science did a survey 24 - 30 International Astronomy Week (on Mars) of several hundred thousand readers for the Best Joke of All Time. 26 Wed 07:16 NM do not confused with Old Moon The one below was selected by the majority. You can decide for 28 Fri 12:19 Antares occults Moon (daytime event) yourself after you read it. In my humble opinion, it rates up there as one of the best in the "clean joke” category, but the field is very April 07 Wed 19:00 BAS meets online via Zoom (no foolin’). competitive. Submissions from members are welcome and I promise Apr 7 is our annual Astronomy Trivia Night when the coveted to print them in future issues of SGN. Local colour has been added. T.R.I.V.I.A Trophy will be up for grabs. Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson were camping one weekend in the wilds of Fathom Five National Park and in the middle of the night, The coveted Astronomy Trivia Holmes nudges Watson awake and says: “Watson, you know my Trophy is up for grabs once again. methods, look up and tell me what you can deduce from the stars Winner will receive trophy (after a safe overhead.” cleaning process) and have their name engraved on the base for eternity. Watson rubs the sleep out of his eyes, looks up and sees the stars and Milky Way overhead and a thin crescent Moon shining low above The trophy is an actual working the eastern horizon. reflactor-type telescope with multi- ocular eyepiece (4 ports) with “Well,” says the good doctor, “judging by the last crescent Moon in the magnifications ranging from 2500X to sky, it is only a few nights from new Moon.” “Excellent!” says Holmes. 60 000X with included 50X Barlow. Just perfect for those closeup views of “Also the Milky Way standing vertically in the SW sky indicates that Uranus. There is also a unique this is summer…but that is, as you were about to say, Holmes, finderscope system that includes a Elementary!” rearward-looking finder to locate objects below the horizon. Watson went on: “The position of the Big Dipper with bowl and tail Patent pending JH. horizontal above the northern horizon indicates to me that it is late Note: new for 2021! -a solar filter morning in the beginning of July and that we are about 1 hour from T.R.I.V.I.A = adapter is included that has 4 filters, one for each eyepiece. You can sunup.” And a self-satisfied smile played over his lips. Telescopic simultaneously view the Sun Reflactor through a Ca, H-alpha, Sulphur and Holmes is impressed. “Excellent, my dear fellow! You are an apt pupil! Imaging But there is one thing you have missed.” Mg filters for those stunning views Visualizer and of prominences and surface Instrumental “And what pray tell is that?” features! Accessory “Someone has stolen our tent.” S G N New Lunar “Clair-obscur” Features Named Apr 2021 pg 3 Above: “Pointy-Nosed Face Above: “Five Mountains Alien Above: “Kid on Back of Motorbike (or ATV), Bouncing blowing Snot” Artifact” a Ball (Stop Action)” This feature is clearly as described Feature here has been described, Feature arrowed is the third of in the name. The handle-bars of the bike are at right rather mundanely, as the Lunar-X, five points inside almost equally above the wheel and the child is standing on the luggage but a few hours after the X (the sized craters -two above and two rack and bouncing the ball. Photo shows multiple bridge of the nose is one arm of to the right. Obviously an alien exposures of the ball. After the terminator advances only the X) blends into the lunar construction project -probably a few minutes, a carrier on the front of the bike appears brightness, a face, vaguely abandoned theme-park rides. with a case of beer visible inside. (Clearly a teen-ager.) reminiscent of Groucho Marks Edge of Mare Futilus is just below this feature. appears. The large round “open mouth” below the pointy snout is Above: “Evil Cat” clearly shooting something into Not much imagination is required here to see the snout, Below: “Snake-faced Hand Puppet” space above the nose, or else it eyes and two ears (sticking out into the dark) of the cat I Feature that normally is described as is Covid virus caught in the act of owned (rather that owned us) during my last two years of the Lunar V transforms into a snake being forcefully ejected from a University.