Panda Bear and his animal friends The Animal Collective migrates to the Portland Arms Music, Page 19

No. 612 The Independent Cambridge Student Newspaper since 1947 Friday January 28, 2005 Admissions The Varsity Talent List 2005 - 8 page pull-out in this issue director gives assurance to home students Kate Ward At present it costs up to £55,800 to put each home THE UNIVERSITY has undergraduate through their responded to Oxford’s plan to three-year degree, while over- reduce the number of home seas students will pay on aver- undergraduates by pledging its age £10,900 per year for tuition commitment to current admis- fees and living expenses – con- sions policy. siderably more than the income Director of University the university receives for each Admissions, Geoff Parks, told home student. Varsity that he and ‘other Many figures within both admissions tutors in general Oxford and Cambridge are dis- would be very disappointed if mayed that admissions could be financial necessity forced influenced by financial pres- Cambridge to contemplate sure. NUS president Kat reducing the number of home Fletcher warned against the students we admit’. Parks increasing tendency of univer- added that the University’s sities to ‘perceive their students treatment of home students as customers’, creating a ‘mar- would not change: ‘The reality ket’ for higher education. is that overseas students are In 2003/04 Oxford had a squeezed out by our commit- total of 11,086 undergraduates. ment to home students’. Out of these only 692 (6%) He said that ‘The University were overseas students, while of Cambridge is committed to 10,045 (91%) were from the admitting students of the UK. In 2003/04 Cambridge highest intellectual potential, had an undergraduate popula- irrespective of social, racial, tion of 11,850 with 12% for- religious and financial consid- eign students. But this has erations’, and that this policy been achieved without the kind shall not change. of targeted policy that Oxford In a green paper published have outlined this week. this week, Oxford University If proposals to build three CUSU abortion row continues announced plans to reduce new colleges announced in total student numbers by as May 2004 go ahead, the uni- much as 1,000 over the course versity will see a dramatic Chine Mbubaegbu The letter sets out a number Society are accusing CUSU of accountable in the slightest’. of the next five years. In place increase in the number of both of questions that CUSU are to being affiliated. The demands outlined in a ‘rigorous’ policy will seek to undergraduate and graduate THE CAMBRIDGE University answer in order to avoid fur- ‘Abortion Rights’ was the legal letter urge CUSU to attract overseas undergradu- students. By 2025 it is estimat- Pro-Life Society has taken the ther legal action. It states: “If formed in 2003 as a result of a provide information as to how ates. Oxford has said it hopes ed that the student population first steps towards legal action they fail to answer all of the merger between the Abortion they, along with the Women’s to entice the ‘very best stu- will reach 21,000, almost dou- against CUSU by issuing them enclosed questions by Tuesday Law Reform Association Union, undertook the deci- dents’, whilst at the same ble the present number. with a legal letter in relation to 9th February then legal pro- (ALRA), and the National sion to affiliate to ‘Abortion time achieving the ‘signifi- Financial pressures are of the Student Union’s apparent ceedings will be issued with- Abortion Campaign (NAC). Rights’ despite the results of cant’ cost saving that will increasing concern to all affiliation to the campaign group out further notice.” The University’s pro-lifers the 2000 referendum. enable it to fund more staff Universities, despite the ‘Abortion Rights.’ The Pro-Life Society began were ‘furious’ at CUSU Wes Streeting, CUSU across the university. The Higher Education Funding David Foster of Barlow their criticism of CUSU early Women’s Union’s decision to President, pointed to the dif- green paper warned that ‘the Council’s provision of a total Robbins Solicitors represents last term when the Women’s promote this organisation, ficulty involved in answering competitiveness of Oxford in grant of £6,322m for universi- the Pro-Life society. He Union, led by Jo Read, because a referendum that had the questions that have been the longer term is contingent ties for the 2005/06 academic issued the legal letter at the launched a campaign called been held in 2000 had result- put to them by the solicitors. on much greater financial year, an increase of 5.6% on request of Antonia Dale, ‘Pro-Choice and Proud of It’. ed in 59% of the student body He said: ‘The difficulty is that security and autonomy’, 2004/05. The funding council President of the Pro-Life Stickers with the slogan were voting against any affiliation obviously this stretches back describing it as ‘remarkable’ has not yet announced how Society. He has previously handed out at the Freshers’ with the NAC. over four years. What we’re that the university stands this money will be distributed been involved in judicial reviews Fair at Kelsey Kerridge, along Patrick Leahy, Campaigns currently doing is looking at alongside the world’s elite between the universities. over the cloning procedures of with membership forms for Officer for the Pro-Life the minutes and records that when faced with such ‘chron- the Human Fertilisation and ‘Abortion Rights’, the compa- Society, has criticised the fact ic under-funding’. Editorial - page 11 Embryology Authority. ny to which the Pro-Life that CUSU have ‘not been - Continued on page 6 APU NAME CHANGE PAGE 2 CELEBRATING EINSTEIN’S ANNIVERSARY PAGE 14 HOWARD CANCANS PAGE 15 TEARING AFASHION STRIPE PAGE 16 READING LOLITA IN TEHRAN PAGE 20 JOHN’S REACH TOP SPOT PAGE 24 2 NEWS January 28, 2005 www.varsity.co.uk News in Brief Clearing’s cut-price courses Flasher Graduate Inequality Lilie Weaver Oliver Tilley New nationwide statistics to pay more than someone who them to “shop around” for the couraging the monetization of show that non-white gradu- UNIVERSITIES COULD be fails to get a place the first time best deal. This could create a higher education, jeopardising POLICE ARE appealing for ates are up to three times less allowed to offer “bargain base- round at the same university. logistical nightmare for admis- the work towards a “fair and public assistance in identify- likely to find employment ment” courses through clear- The Office for Fair Access sions staff, who already have to transparent admissions process” ing a man who recently inde- after graduation as their white ing to fill up their under-sub- [OFFA] has made it clear that carefully weigh up the number and potentially deepening the cently exposed himself in East counterparts. The NUS has scribed courses, potentially Universities will be allowed to of offers they make and attempt present “class divide” of Chesterton. published a Black Students’ rewarding students who under cut their course rates to fill in to predict the number of accept- University admissions. Over the last few months Handbook designed partly to perform at A-level. vacancies, but warns that doing ed offers. It means that from a student’s there have been several address this problem. Such a policy could mean that so may “affect following cycles”. The NUS has accused OFFA point of view, deciding where to reports of a naked man on the a student who is offered a place In other words, students may of allowing a system of “mass apply could become an exercise towpath by the railway bridge through the first round of discover that leaving their choice inequalities” to develop, suggest- in trying to gauge the best “value of the river Cam in East Waste Disposal UCAS and obtains their requi- of course until August, when ing that the regulator is not for money” degrees. Chesterton, Cambridgeshire site grades, could end up having results are published, allows being pro-active enough in dis- The higher education minis- and, consequently, the police Cambridge city council have ter Dr. Kim Howells admits that are urging the public to come

announced that black bins er University courses could become forward with any information will be collected fortnightly “products”, with students shop- which could aid them in their ing rather than weekly from rr ping round between the huge investigations. October as part of a drive to range of institutions. PC Nick Percival who is encourage people to recycle l De Robert Reich, a professor of leading the investigation, has more. The council is con- social and economic policy in the said “I would like to hear cerned it may be met with Michae US, warns that such a cut-throat from anyone who may have steep government fines if it market will encourage a system seen this man in the area. Any does not meet landfill targets. similar to the American one information, no matter how where there is a large focus on small, could prove vital in pre-career degrees, such as Law helping us to find who is Castle Mound and Medicine, to the deprecia- responsible.” tion of subjects such as English If you do know anything Work has started on a pro- and the less “applied” sciences. which could be useful, contact gramme to protect Castle This particular issue should PC Percival of Parkside Police Mound, one of Cambridge’s not affect students applying to Station on 0 84545 64564 or best-known ancient monu- particularly oversubscribed Crimestoppers anonamously ments. New signs costing Universities such as Cambridge on 08000 555111 or e-mail £400 will be erected to keep and Oxford, who do not partici- ecops.eastchesterton@cambs. visitors on the existing foot- pate in clearing. pnn.police.uk. path and prevent erosion. The NUS organised a national student demonstration against top-up fees in London in 2003

Oxford student deported A first year student at Oxford Women top table APU set to University is facing deporta- tion to Afghanistan after the Home Office refused to extend his visa. Azim Ansari change name fled the Taliban regime four in university entry years ago and arrived in the UK in the back of a lorry. Lucy Phillips Anglia University is reported Claire Mawer looks at HEFCE report to be the favourite amongst ANGLIA POLYTECHNIC staff at the university. Boring Students A HIGHER education report that once at university, women parity through a ‘focus on equal University (APU) could A spokesman from APU published last week has revealed have greater staying power and opportunities and initiatives change its name by April this said that the name change was The most comprehensive that it is women, not men, who are 27 per cent more likely to such as supervisor and inter- year. The application to a “matter of expediency rather research on student life to are more likely to be seen in graduate than men. viewer training’. change name is currently than choice.” He continued, date has found that the cur- halls of residence, lecture the- Although some consider tra- However, the report does being considered by the Privy “The word ‘polytechnic’ does rent generation is more ‘seri- atres and libraries in universities ditional gender attitudes to be nothing to disprove the com- Council. not suit our market, it can be ous, hard-working and career- across the country. dominant in Oxbridge, Jo Read, mon perception that university Three final contenders for perceived as a negative point. orientated’ than any of its According to the statistics Women’s’ Officer for CUSU, is the mainstay of middle and the University’s title have ‘University’ is more under- predecessors. 70 per cent published in the Higher believes that this national trend upper class youngsters. been chosen from over 200 standable.” interviewed said they had Education Funding Council for is reflected in Cambridge, where According to the findings of possible names put forward by The 200-plus other names applied to university to get a England (Hefce) report; in 1994 she believes there has been the report, students from the staff, students and local resi- that were initially put forward good qualification, compared girls from all socio-economic ‘improvement in the ratio of wealthiest 20 per cent of dents and businesses. have not been officially dis- with 53% four years ago and a groups were only 6 per cent female to male applicants and homes were six times more The three names being con- closed but there are rumours third are actively choosing to more likely to go to university students’. Jo attributes this likely to go to university than sidered for the title are Anglia that such titles as ‘The avoid relationships. than boys. However, by 2000, development to the way in those from the poorest 20 per University, Anglia Ruskin University of Cambridgeshire’ this figure had risen to 18 per which Cambridge University is cent of homes. University and Anglia and ‘Cambridge Brookes’ were cent, with the statistics showing endeavouring to achieve gender Dr James Keeler, Admissions Metropolitan University. originally suggested.

Sidney Boatie Auction es Tutor for natural science at v

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Ebay bidding for a date with rc barrier facing admissions tutors the Sidney Sussex Women’s who endeavour to bridge this y Phillips First VIII currently stands at gulf within Cambridge is that arsity A Luc

£49. The ‘medium-small V “children from socially disad- boatie women’ are being sold vantaged backgrounds are less ‘to make space for a large beer likely to have a high quality fridge’ and to raise money for education and so are less likely the Breast Cancer Campaign. to be viable candidates for The auction closes next Cambridge”. Thursday. Nationally, this ‘deep and per- sistent’ disadvantage prevails despite the existence of govern- Apology ment initiatives such as ‘Aim Higher’, which have been We would like to apologise designed to raise the education- for any offence caused to al aspirations of those who Girton College in last week’s would not normally consider edition. The college ethnic higher education. In Dr. Keeler’s minority weekend was organ- view, the state run education ised seperately from any other system needs to be “of a such a college events. quality that everyone has the real chance to excel, be it in aca- demic or vocational subjects”. Anglia Polytechnic University, Cambridge NEWS www.varsity.co.uk January 28, 2005 3

Jesus students’door painted pink in practical joke Students’ socio-economic info to be given by UCAS New procedures to assess applicant’s background

Joe Gosden as “absolutely ridiculous” the particular opposition from the fact that growth in the per- independent sector. IN A RADICAL change to centage of students going on Dick Davison, spokesman the application process, to higher education was still for the Independent Schools UCAS is planning to grant limited to those from the Council, said that universities access to detailed more wealthy areas of the “Independent schools fully socio-economic information United Kingdom. support efforts to identify tal- about the background of The move could lead to the ented youngsters, whatever prospective students. expansion of a policy already their background or previous The plan would enable in place at Cambridge education [but] they believe, admissions tutors to view University by which admis- however, that at the university data concerning the appli- sions tutors are advised that level, objectivity must be cant’s school ranging from the GCSE results of students achieved through more open GCSE and A-level pass rates from low performing schools and transparent university to the percentage of pupils need not be as high as those admissions policies”. receiving free school meals, in of their counterparts at lead- The initiative was, however, an attempt to attain a better ing state and independent met with scepticism in some idea of the student’s educa- schools, helping to place the quarters. A spokesman for the tional background. candidate’s true abilities in NASUWT said “There is The proposal comes only perspective. nothing new in universities days after a survey published By 2006, applicants may reviewing their admissions by the Department of have to fill out extra questions policies to ensure they are giv- Education which found that on the UCAS application ing equal opportunities to students from affluent areas in form, giving details of any pupils from poor backgrounds the south east were 50 per involvement they may have and that admissions are based cent more likely to go to uni- had with the National on merit rather than privi- versity than those living in the Academy of Gifted or lege.” more deprived north east. Talented Youth, an organisa- The Department for Accusations of university tion that promotes state Education refused to com- Jesus College students living on Malcolm Street woke up on Sunday morning to find that their tradi- entrance being a “postcode school entrance to university. ment on the development, tionally green door had been painted pink. The culprit, who created the artwork at around 8am on lottery” remain rife, with the Any form of positive dis- stating that “Admissions pro- Sunday morning, was a friend of the residents, and a member of St John’s College. The door has now previous Education Secretary, crimination has always been a cedures remain a matter for been restored to its usual colour. Charles Clarke, describing it contentious issue, meeting the universities themselves”. 4 NEWS January 28, 2005 www.varsity.co.uk Macclesfield Psalter saved Chinese Anna McIlreavy FOLLOWING unprecedented New Year public response and the support of Art Funds across the country, Liz Bradshaw Meanwhile, after the success the Fitzwilliam Museum, of last term’s Funk Yard event at Cambridge, has secured the THE YEAR of the Rooster is Coco’s, Ori-entz are organising purchase of a remarkable almost upon us and a Chinese New Year party at Medieval manuscript: the Cambridge is preparing to Ballare. R’n’b, hip hop, and Macclesfield Psalter. celebrate in style. Chinese and Japanese pop The fund recently hit their The Chinese New Year music are all on the menu, with target of £1.7 million in a bid Trust Society’s annual ball will tickets £5 on the door; date to match the Getty Museum, take place at the Guildhall on TBA. There is also a Chinese Los Angeles, last week. With Friday 1 February. Sponsored New Year Gala at the Corn only 2 weeks to go, the by the Bank of China, the ball Exchange on Sunday 6th. Fitzwilliam needed to raise will include a champagne In 2005, the Chinese New Year enough money to match the reception followed by a lavish officially falls on February 9. Getty Museum’s bid to buy banquet. A performance by According to the Chinese calen- the manuscript before it Chinese acrobats, a live jazz dar, which measures time based departed overseas to the band and gambling parlours on astronomical observations of United States. are also promised. the movement of the Sun, Moon Sothebys sold the Macclesfield Society President Jipeng Li and stars, it is the Year 4702. Psalter to the Getty Museum, says of the event: “Our theme People born in the year of the Los Angeles, in June for £1.7 this year is Shanghai Tang, so Rooster are said to be hard-work- million. However, the we have tried to bring to life the ing, stubborn and unafraid to Government’s export review The Macclesfield Psalter, a unique medieval manuscript, has been retained at the Fitzwilliam opulence and the extravagance speak their minds. Famous system, which recognised the induced an enthusiastic It is a small volume (170 x James Stourton, Deputy of the city in the 1920s, also ‘Roosters’ include such luminaries outstanding national impor- response, with donations 108mm) but contains a wealth Chairman of Sotheby’s known as ‘Paris of the East, as Yoko Ono, Eric Clapton and, tance of the Psalter, gave the ranging from £1 to an anony- of artwork, including historiat- Europe, said: “We are very Whore of Asia’, as well as the erm, Michael Aspel. Fitzwilliam the chance to mous contribution of £15,000. ed initials, miniature paintings pleased for the Fitzwilliam traditions of the New Year”. In China, the traditional match this sum, and so the The public appeal raised and hundreds of illustrated Museum. The discovery of After the meal, Oriental New Year rituals include the campaign was launched. £180,000 in total. borders and marginal scenes. It this manuscript by Sotheby’s at wares will be available to cleaning of houses from top to The campaign, which began The National Heritage is these marginal illustrations, Shirburn Castle in 2003 was sample from a wide selection bottom in order to sweep away with a £500,000 grant from Memorial Fund also played a cru- teeming with medieval an extraordinary event. It is a of stalls. Tickets are priced at bad luck, the wearing of red to the independent charity, the cial role, awarding a major grant humour, that perhaps captured wonderful thing that even in £38 with food included, or ward off evil spirits, and the National Art Collections of £860,000, and the Fitzwilliam the public’s imagination. The the present time, a manu- £10 for those not dining. A giving of money in red Fund (Art Fund), captured the and its friends assigned £150,000 images include a dog dressed script of this importance can pound from each dining tick- envelopes to children and public imagination. to their cause. The Psalter was up as a bishop, naked wild men come out of the woodwork. et sold will go to the Tsunami unmarried adults. Grudges are When the Art Fund produced in the 1320s, probably and grotesques. They provide a The Macclesfield family hope Relief Fund, and all remain- brushed aside, and the underly- launched a public appeal on at Gorleston, at a time when East valuable insight into the that it will be enjoyed by ing profits are intended for a ing message is one of peace and the BBC’s Culture Show, the Anglia was one of the foremost macabre and exuberant many thousands of visitors to school building project near happiness. extraordinary medieval work artistic centres in Europe. medieval humour. the Museum.” Beijing. - Editorial, Page 11 Union Success at Debating World Championships Male-oriented teaching? Amelia Worsley looks at whether the teaching methods in science suit women

PRESIDENT OF Harvard performed slightly better than of a cohort of students from the University Laurence Summers women in Physics Part II in start of their time at caused controversy last week 2002 and in Chemistry in Cambridge (October 1997) with his claim that men outper- 2002, the results were “not sta- until their graduation. It found form women in Maths and tistically significant”. that in Chemistry, “the statisti- Science due to their innate Mann did, however, acknowl- cal difference between men and superiority in these subjects. edge that “evidence from some women was significant”, with Tania Ruiz, a Leicester staff and both male and female “women being awarded more University lecturer working to students suggested that there firsts than men”. increase female participation in may be gender differences in the Dr Keeler stressed that science, argued that imbalance approach to learning.” The teaching methods in Chemistry in examinations resulted from problems this might cause for had never been consciously inflexible and male-biased supervisors teaching men and changed to accommodate teaching methods in the sci- women at the same time were female students, but that the ence departments of the world’s also pointed to, especially when “traditional method of teaching The Cambridge Union’s Debating A-Team, consisting of Joe Devanny and Daragh Grant, taking leading universities. the supervisozr himself is male. Chemistry in Cambridge from part in the World Universities’ Debating Championship in Kuala Lumpar, Malaysia in December. Cambridge has taken steps Some women questioned for the a conceptual viewpoint may to address this issue through report were concerned that if suit female learning methods”. THE CAMBRIDGE Union Over 300 teams travelled debates ranging from its participation in the they “ask the fundamental ques- The report concluded that enjoyed a successful World from around the world to whether anti-terrorism is the Springboard Programme, tions, this path to understanding “although gender has a signifi- Universities’ Debating compete in the 25th year of new McCarthyism, to the designed to “encourage the might be seen in a negative light cant effect on the class of Championship during the this distinguished competi- question of using corporal personal and professional by male supervisors”. degree obtained, by far the Christmas break. tion which was held in Kuala punishment in schools. Each development of undergraduate Jake O’Hear, an undergrad- most important variable is the Joe Devanny and Daragh Lumpar, Malaysia. of these debates was carried women”. The course has been uate in Natural Sciences, char- subject studied”. The most sig- Grant, who make up the The Union teams had more out within the structure of specifically redesigned to suit acterised the difference nificant difference in Tripos Cambridge Union debating A- high ranked teams than any the British Parliamentary “the specific issues for women between male and female results was found not in team, were rated as the number other institution in the style. undergraduates in the learning methods in his expe- Science but in Part II English, one debating team in the world. world. Much of the credit A motion is announced 15 Sciences at Cambridge”. rience with the statement that where “men significantly out- They reached the Grand final of for the quality of the teams at minutes before the com- Cambridge’s Joint men tend to “jump straight perform women, gaining twice the World Championship con- the Union must go to mencement of the debate. Committee on Academic into the technical stuff ”, as many firsts as they do, test where they were defeated by Directors of Debating Within these 15 minutes, Performance commissioned a whilst women prefer to whilst women are awarded a team from Ottawa Law Harriet Jones-Fenleigh and each speaker has to prepare summary report in 1996 that “understand the concept first”. twice as many lower seconds University. Pascal Millaire who have to deliver a 7 minute speech compared the academic success The Indicators of Academic than men.” In addition to the A-team’s invested much time and either for or against the of males and females in differ- Performance report also includ- The Indicators of Academic success, three other Cambridge effort in building them. motion depending on which ent Triposes. Dr Christine ed statistics on the Graduates Performance report is available Union teams reached the knock- The tournament com- side they are assigned. Mann, the principal investiga- of the Millennium Project, an to read at: out stages of the competition. prised a wide variety of John McHugh tor, found that although men initiative to track the progress www.admin.cam.ac.uk/reporter.

6 NEWS January 28, 2005 www.varsity.co.uk Students outraged at telephone drama Charlotte Forbes and Sarah Marsh investigate the tangled world of telecommunications and offer hope to frustrated Cambridge students

before successfully disconnecting added: “We are aware of the prob- bought out by NTL), it was clear dent concerns. He stated that from a room vacated three months lems and apologise to all those that BT were not interested in NTL was looking to scrap nor- earlier. Many of those affected affected for the inconvenience. flood-wiring up all the college mal contracts and to simply offer pointed out that these calls had to We would like to reassure cus- bedrooms. They just did not a calling-card service such as that be made from mobile telephones tomers that we are doing our want the business. NTL have used by Nottingham University. at peak rates when the call centre utmost to resolve these issues.” shown the willingness to invest On the one hand, this would is open. Students at several col- These problems have led stu- in student services, BT have not.” eliminate the usual problems leges have also experienced faulty dents to ask colleges for a choice Walker insisted that in terms with billing and disconnection voicemail services, unexplained between telephone suppliers. of telephone contracts, NTL was over the vacation, but the calling credit notes or were told by cus- Increased competition would much more student-friendly and card service is much more expen- tomer services staff that their per- allow students to demand better economical than other telephone sive in all call charges and would sonal details had been ‘lost’. service from their telecommuni- providers. For example, BT can significantly increase students’ Sarah Eynstone, Senior cations provider. This seems charge £75 connection charge bills. Via this service, all calls are Student at Westcott House impossible, however, given that at the national rate, whereas Theological College on Jesus NTL laid the wiring into student Nearly all of the NTL currently provides free calls Lane, said: “NTL is clearly an bedrooms at the company’s own colleges served by to local numbers. organisation which has over- expense. Moreover, colleges and This disadvantage explains reached itself and is no longer able the University are clear that they the company have why Cambridge colleges are reti- to cope with the demands posed do not have a specific contract reported problems cent in offering this calling-card by servicing large educational with NTL; the contract is service to their students. institutions such as Cambridge. between each student and NTL. when a new student moves in It is possible that this call-card The consequence of this is that If the student customer is and requires a minimum contract service might never be intro- students have had to rely on aggrieved by NTL and wishes to period of 12 months. duced or indeed the contracting mobile phones, if they possess change telephone provider, they Meanwhile, NTL are relatively of other telephone suppliers, as CAMBRIDGE STUDENTS ‘enormous problems’, recently them, at great financial cost.” may end their contract and even flexible about providing services researchers at Cambridge have voiced their deep concern wrote a strongly worded letter to There have been a number of calls take up a contract with another a term at a time and converting University are seeking to offer a over the provision of telecommu- NTL’s student services, stating from JCR presidents for CUSU telephone provider. phones to calling-card usage dur- radically innovative alternative. nications services in the universi- that in an internal investigation to investigate the situation. This, however, seems highly ing vacations, for conference use. Clare College Bursar Mr Hearn ty after a backlog of billing mis- last term they received over 6500 NTL have apologised for the unlikely. Whilst students could They also provide “warm-line” told Varsity:“The University is takes, disconnection threats, fail- words of complaint from students inconvenience caused to students, in principle request telephone service to enable potential new looking to instigate huge changes ure to connect new users and and only two replies compliment- stating that the problems with the services from British Telecom, student customers to plug in a in telecommunications such as accusations of poor customer ing NTL’s service. They have yet billing system are due to an ongo- BT would have to lay their own phone and be connected direct to voice-over-internet, and this col- service by provider NTL. to receive a response to their letter. ing computer system upgrade, telephone wiring into the stu- a sales desk; with other providers lege is now refurbishing student Nearly all of the 29 colleges Across the University, the same which is currently nearing com- dents’ rooms. But as Robin students would have to use some rooms to provide for this. Any currently served by the company, complaints have been levelled at pletion. In response to the long Walker, chairman of the other means of communication decision regarding changing the have reported problems, often on NTL, including some students call waiting times at customer University of Cambridge Joint to get a contract started. telephone provider within this a major scale. Those most severe- waiting an average of 45 minutes services, they say that they have Telecoms Management commit- NTL’s account manager for college has had to be delayed ly affected are Downing, Clare on hold before speaking to cus- ‘allocated more resources’ and that tee, pointed out: “At the time the Cambridge University, Stephen until the shape of that future is and Queen’s. The Union of Clare tomer services. One student at ‘call waiting times should now be flood-wiring deals were offered Dobbyne, asserted that NTL known. So we will have to suffer Students, who say they have had Gonville and Caius made 27 calls reduced’. In a statement they by Cambridge Cable (later sought to specifically address stu- NTL for a little while longer.”

Case Study: Barry Bridges NTL apologises... Case Study: Fraser Gillies

"Twelve months ago, NTL disconnected me for no reason. “I contacted NTL at the start of last term to ask for broadband When I phoned them, they told me that it was my duty to and a phone line. An engineer arrived a few days later and installed inform them that I had been disconnected (otherwise I get "NTL is committed to providing high quality communica- both, saying they would be active in a few days.Two weeks and eight charged) – even though they were the ones to disconnect me. tions solutions to students and the student service we pro- calls later, neither worked. We later found that our broadband pin A year on, they are still sending me bills. This is despite the fact vide gives students substantial savings in comparison to was incorrect, having been changed without our knowledge. I then that the room in which I used to live has been physically competitors. received two bills totalling £60, despite not having a line connected. destroyed during renovations of college. I have not paid a bill We are aware of the problems and apologise to all After more problems, an engineer was sent, who fixed the phone during this period, but they continue to send me demands for those affected for the inconvenience. We would like to reas- and the previous call charges removed. All was fine, with the excep- £7.50 (line rental) every month. NTL Credit Services have sure customers that we are doing our utmost to resolve these tion of a very large number of wrong numbers. Eventually one per- contacted me twice demanding that I pay, but each time they issues." son rang and said “Is this 01223 ....” to which I replied that is was. are forced to apologise when they see that I cancelled my agree- “Thats odd” he said, “because that was my number until yesterday ment with them a year ago." and now I’m disconnected, despite having paid all my bills.” We are still waiting to be reconnected.” Barry Bridges, JCR President, Downing College NTL Fraser Gillies, Sidney Sussex College

- Continued from front page

we have from Pav Akhtar’s presi- CUSU abortion dispute Fundraising Update dency through to today. " unions." The Charities Abortion is just one of them." Streeting criticised the Commission therefore provided The Pro-Life Society has said: Tess Riley the wishes of the University’s chosen well before the tsunami University’s anti-abortion guidance in Students’ Unions: A "We are 99% certain that CUSU students and staff to do some- occurred, some critics believed group, saying: "This is another Guide. This guidance stated: have broken the law regardless. C AMBRIDGE thing to help the disaster vic- that the bop should not have example of the Pro-Life Society "Neither a students’ union nor The purpose of the letter is part- UNIVERSITY students have tims.” His gratitude to everyone gone ahead, or only with a trying to sensationalise CUSU’s any club or society can make ly to see by how much." Leahy, continued to dig deep into their who offered their services for changed theme. However, Catz involvement with family plan- donations to any external organi- speaking for the society has, how- pockets to raise money for the the event was clear as he reeled stuck with the original plan, ning groups. They seem to be sation or cause, particularly if it is ever, said that taking the issue to Asian Tsunami Appeal, and off the names of numerous par- having made all the prepara- fixated by the idea that CUSU political in nature – unless the court would be the "absolute last there is still more to come. ticipants who helped. tions, and the organisers insisted is working with abortion groups organisation or cause has a con- resort." He hopes that the matter The “Bring a Pound To Individual colleges have also that the donation of all proceeds to campaign politically for nection with the welfare of stu- will be settled "once and for all." Lectures” day last Friday, organ- been turning pennies into to the tsunami appeal meant the abortion rights. This is simply dents at the particular university Streeting conversely maintains ised by Cambridge RAG, raised pounds this week, notable cash- theme was ‘harmless’. “No-one not the case." or college." that he is "absolutely confident nearly £2000. Enthusiastic vol- earners including Churchill’s dressed inappropriately,” said A concern highlighted by the Streeting said: "Our involve- that CUSU have done nothing unteers armed with buckets per- sponsored haircutting, taking one party member. Pro-Life Society is that CUSU ment is restricted to membership wrong and that we’ll come suaded fellow students to part almost £1200, and Robinson’s Other events are still to come. might have broken rules outlined which allows us to gather the through this fine." He called the with their loose change bop which raised over £400. The Lucy Cavendish College, for in The Education Act of 1994. information to give to students matter "a very specific and minor throughout the day. controversial beach-themed bop example, is holding “an evening This act "requires governing bod- on welfare matters. If a student issue in terms of CUSU’s broad Dominic Hinton, President at St Catharine’s College on of food, wine, poetry, music, ies to draw to the attention of all comes to us with an unexpected campaigning work. It’s prevent- of Cambridge RAG, said “the January 21st raised nearly £700 women, oh and men too” on their students at least once a year pregnancy, it’s important for us to ing me from doing things that are success of the many fundraising and was an enormous success. Friday January 28th. Tickets are any restrictions which the law of provide them with all the options more relevant." events indicates the extent of Although the theme had been £7.50 and are selling fast. charities places on students’ available to them under the law. www.varsity.co.uk January 28, 2005 ANALYSIS 7 Admissions: A question of sport? Kate Ward asks if it’s a level playing field This week Varsity’s ‘Talent 100’ Although the rugby club cannot list celebrates the achievements directly affect admissions it can of Cambridge’s top sportsmen offer information and advice to and women. Cambridge hosts candidates.’ Such information some of the best student sport in includes email links to dons at the country; our rowers and Fitzwilliam and Magdelene as rugby players are particularly well as C.U.R.F.C contacts. renowned in the world outside. But do sports admissions However, their reputation is actually exist? Certainly the often tarnished by those who majority of colleges that were question whether these sports contacted by Varsity were stars are at the University appalled at the notion of such because of academic ability or admissions, though past whether they are products of instances were recognised. what have become known as Graduate colleges offer a more ‘sports admissions’. ambiguous defence against these The lack of undergraduate claims. Hughes Hall’s prospec- participation (at Blues level) is tus notes that its ‘student body is cited as evidence for the exis- diverse’, continuing that they tence of so-called ‘sports admis- ‘believe intellectual development sions’ in the sports of rugby and is often accompanied by physical rowing. In this year’s Varsity or artistic ability, and encourage Match at Twickenham only applications from people who Nathan McGarry and Adam have displayed excellence in The victorious Blues rugby team. There has been a question mark over ‘sports admissions’ for some time, but the evidence is debatable Gilbert represented undergradu- their field.’ However. St. expressed concern about its sphere. Over 43,000 turned up to They may not all be gaining wishes to continue the outstand- ates in the starting line-up. Edmunds admits that they take image as a ‘doss’ subject. Geoffrey support the blues at Twickenham firsts or high II.1s, but with ing level of sporting achieve- Criticism is often levelled at ‘admissions from all fields Hawthorn (subject convenor in in December, and the Oxford- rugby demanding between 30 ment why not more openly pro- Hughes Hall and St. Edmunds, including sportsmen’ but add Politics) said that ‘we do have Cambridge boat race is screened and 35 hours a week of matches vide sporting scholarships, as both graduate colleges (and that applications are made on some say over affiliated students’ live on the BBC. On one hand it and training at the height of the with college and university home to the majority of the the basis of ‘academic potential.’ but in general ‘we just accept appears that Cambridge fosters season this is hardly surprising. choral scholarships? rugby blues). Such statements point toward what they [colleges] admit’. professional sports; on the other Cambridge leans on its sup- Geoff Parks, Cambridge’s And it is argued that the a clash between the sporting col- Despite Cambridge’s insis- it insists these are not profession- posed policy of admitting stu- director of admissions, told C.U.R.F.C. are also implicated in leges and the aims of the wider tence on academic excellence, al sportsmen, just normal dents solely on the basis of aca- Varsity that ‘everybody who crit- a policy of admitting applicants University community. When sporting achievements as well as Cambridge students. demic ability to defend itself icises [the admissions system] based on athletic rather than the Land Economy course was other extra-curricular activities If such ‘sports admissions’ against a plethora of potential can’t find a better way of doing intellectual ability. Their website changed in recent years, rumour are not only encouraged but truly do exist, this is only in so accusations on admissions it.’ But it is likely that the cur- confirms that the C.U.R.F.C. is circulated that it was to prevent expected. One concern is that far as sporting ability is actively process. These include state rent system, which lacks not ‘keen to encourage talented rugby the domination of the course by high achievement in these areas encouaged at some colleges. But school quotas, bias against public only flexibility but also trans- players to apply for admission to ‘sporty’ students. The SPS facul- is deemed particularly important sports players must be able to school applicants or issues of parency, will continue to be the University at both under- ty (which is very popular with when our success as a University cope with the academic ethnicity. What is required is favoured by the University for graduate and postgraduate levels. affiliated students) has in private is recognised in the public demands of Cambridge life. more openness. If Cambridge the foreseeable future. Showdown Support for current system Last week, we revealed that admissions tutors use a system Sam Richardson Independent which revealed the conditional offer and knowing of weighting to compare university’s system of weighting that if someone makes it then applicants’ GCSE results. We A Varsity investigation has GCSE grades according to they’re good enough to get in. put Varsity editors past and revealed that Cambridge appli- school background. However, This therefore means the present to the test... cants share a high level of con- Varsity’s study showed that 75% interviews take on more fidence in the university’s of applicants did not feel the importance. But interviews are Archie Bland admissions system. 80% of system was biased towards state not the be-all and end-all.’ applicants said they had a ‘pos- or private schools, and the Coursework, exams and itive’ or ‘very positive’ experi- remainder’s opinions were post-A level interviewing have ence of the admissions system, evenly spread. Dr Parks stated all been floated as options to while just 2% professed to hav- that ‘It’s good that about as take the pressure off inter- ing a negative experience. many people thought we were views. However, relatively few Director of admissions Geoff as biased to state schools as pri- applicants (see chart, right) Parks described the survey as ‘a vate schools… it shows we must were in favour of this. Dr Parks quite encouraging endorsement be doing something right.’ said that, ‘given the current Former editor Archie got 4 of our current procedures’ – an One potential area for con- political momentum behind A*s, 3 A’s and 2 Bs at GCSE. endorsement that is rarely cern was that one in five inter- post-qualification admissions, According to the system, he shared by the national media. viewees admitted that they had the interviewees’ attitude is gets 1.0 point for an A*, 0.6 From Laura Spence (with found out questions and topics very interesting.’ for an A and nothing for his four As at A-level from a com- for the interview from other However, Parks did suggest Bs, giving him a grand total of prehensive school) to Anastasia applicants. Notices in colleges that, ‘an examination system 5.8. He went to Winchester Fedotova (a deaf student with show that the university which enables more condition- College. six top A-level grades), January regards this as cheating. al offers would be enormously rarely goes by without the story However, Parks responded, helpful… A+ exam grades of a rejected Oxbridge appli- ‘Unfortunately it’s part of the would help.’ Amol Rajan cant hitting the national process, but we know all about Of more than fifty appli- media. But, even with applica- it and interviewers have vari- cants interviewed, just one had tions to Cambridge more than ous strategies for dealing with felt the interview was ‘unfair’ 1,000 up on the previous year, it. I think we end up with an and just one had found the 2005 has been notable for the accurate representation of an interviewer ‘unfriendly’ (girls absence of claims of Oxbridge applicant’s ability.’ were more likely to find the With 5 A*s, ‘elitism’ in the pages of the But getting an accurate rep- interviewer ‘friendly’). 77% 2 A’s and 2 Bs, national media. resentation of an applicant’s found the interview challeng- Amol amasses Last year’s Daily Mail story ability from any other source is ing, and 91% felt that the 6.2 points. With 0.9 suggesting that a candidate had becoming increasingly difficult interviewer was adequately bonus points for coming from been turned down for his inde- for the university. Dr Parks trained. Although 20% of a good comprehensive, pendent school background sig- told Varsity that, ‘The large applicants said that they prob- Graveney School, he wins nified a change of direction in number of students getting all ably hadn’t got in, not a single with a total of 7.1. the national debate – a theory As at A-level makes our job a applicant was willing to tempt supported by last week’s story in lot more difficult. We can no fate by suggesting they felt this newspaper and The longer use the tactic of giving a they had secured a place. 8 INTERVIEW January 28, 2005 www.varsity.co.uk ain it e Br His artistic at y of the artist/T

mission: to es t parade all cour our realities Turner Prize-winning artist Jeremy Deller talks to Emily Stokes

eremy Deller’s telephone ic people, but important peo- rings. He apologises, ple... I’ve worked with lots of Janswers and talks to his people, hundreds, thousands of friend, artist Alan Kane, for a people, who aren’t artists but few moments, then hangs up who do just as amazing things looking pleased. ‘We’ve man- as artists do.’ aged to track down a guy that Since winning the Turner has a mechanical elephant. Prize in December, Jeremy It’s the size of a baby elephant Deller has been interviewed Still image from Turner Prize-winning Memory Bucket, a mixed media installation exploring the state of Texas and it gives children rides. It’s continuously about the exhibi- amazing.’ He and Alan Kane tions and events that he initi- ed ‘people who you usually see floats of the different banking art, we define ourselves memories; the event seems to are collecting objects for a ates as his artwork and he’s fed as individuals to walk down companies with a half-smile: through country houses and symbolise his ideal of the mix of ‘folk art’ exhibition at the up with questions about how the street in groups, slightly ‘you know, all “Look at us” and the royal family... Every pub, politics, the arts and folk culture Barbican in May. he can be an artist if he doesn’t marginalised people’, and all “we’re wearing silly hats”’ and every crappy hotel you go to is in its energetic, raw ‘village fete His enthusiasm for all paint, draw or sculpt. ‘The this to be set outside the pre- then pauses. ‘There was one meant to look like a country atmosphere.’ He likes to put things regional and ‘people media are about twenty years texts of ‘religion, politics or show that was fucking amaz- house. Oxford and other people in charge, ‘to hand that make things’ may seem behind the general public… folk culture.’ One of the unex- ing, though,’ he says. ‘It was Cambridge: that is Britain. It over an opportunity, a situation. surprising; dressed in a light They’re still obsessed with the the Society for Childrens’ has a stultifying effect on peo- Whatever happens, happens.’ pink sweater and jeans, Deller idea of painting as the only art “Oxford and Homes and it was just these ple, it’s not healthy.’ I ask him how he feels about seems to fit the part perfectly form’, he says. He speaks soft- Cambridge: that is kids looking really fucked off But his love of what he calls being described as a ‘party of the stylish London contem- ly and carefully: ‘my skills are to be on this float, just stand- folk art is about more than just organiser’ and immediately porary artist as he sits in his in meeting people, doing Britain. It has a ing there and one of their a conceptual desire to celebrate feel guilty, as he looks a little small, white studio-office. It things with them, chatting to stultifying effect mates was playing incredibly British culture from the bot- shocked. Then he laughs: is, however, the celebration of them about stuff rather than loud ragga music.’ He smiles. tom upwards. He lists next ‘party organiser,’ he repeats, people who do unusual things drawing. I’m just using my on people.” ‘It was an injection of reality in week’s scheduled stops on his ‘that’s amazing. The media are that often go without recogni- skills as best I can.’ pectedly moving features a parade that was totally unre- ‘little trip around Britain’: pretty appalling I have to say’. tion – people who generally In a street parade in Spain, about Deller’s work is that he al… and I thought, I’d love to ‘We’re going to meet the guy He cringes when he thinks of aren’t thought of as trendy – organised by Deller for the takes people so seriously; he is do a parade of things like that.’ with the mechanical elephant all the media interest: ‘There that is perhaps at the core of opening of last year’s never judgemental (about the Jeremy Deller talking about and then meet the secretary of was one week when I was in his work. ‘Not heroes, or hero- Manifesta exhibition, he want- sort of person who might own the ‘real’ doesn’t seem inap- Clowns International... then a the Guardian four times... I a mechanical elephant, for propriate – no matter how guy in Wales that does the wanted to apologise to the instance), forever respectful. beautifully turned out or well Who is Jeremy Deller? He likes the idea of ‘safety in spoken he might be. “We’re going to meet the guy with the numbers’ and so, he tells me, Admittedly, his trip to New Born in London in 1966, Jeremy Deller attended both the ‘the parade was led by a group York to hang out in Andy mechanical elephant and then meet the Courtauld Institute of Art and the University of Sussex. He is a of blind people, thirty blind Warhol’s factory at twenty has secretary of Clowns International...” multifaceted artist who has undertaken vastly different projects, people leading the way’. the dreamy quality of a mod- ranging from the Acid Brass musical recording to co-founding Folk He pauses, and corrects ern legend, but he talks open- Mari Lwyd and then we might readers’. This isn’t modesty – Archive. A notion of collaboration and participation remains a himself; he does this often, ly about his past, being on the go to the women’s institute it’s a distaste for celebrity. He consistent theme throughout his art. seeming keen not to make dole, living with his parents HQs in Oxfordshire to try and is wary of becoming ‘one of sweeping statements: ‘well, until the age of thirty-one. get some flower arrangements those people who are always actually, it didn’t totally work He also talks about his mort- for the exhibition.’ on TV. I’ve been asked on TV ain it out because we had a guide dog gage and the steep rent for his He wants me to know that shows, but…you know… real- to lead the guy but of course ‘cosy’ office before noticing my his passion isn’t a joke, and, as ly sad ones’ he says dryly. e Br at these dogs are taught never to forlorn face and reassuring : he speaks, I begin to wonder if But I sense that rejecting walk in the road.’ He laughs ‘don’t worry about me. I’ll be his enthusiasm for all things fame means more to him than ok’, he says with mock-serious- regional might not rub off on simply not being a talking He sees the unpop- ness. He makes no grand claims London. ‘Outside London head on Top One-Hundred ularity of folk art as for what he is doing: ‘I think there’s a lot of stuff that hap- Documentaries Of All Time. artists have such a high opinion pens. It’s not twee, it’s not He seems to feel a sense of y of the artist/T

es symptomatic of a t of themselves. They think that country house – it’s visceral, it’s responsibility not to lose his “top-heavy art can change things. I mean, politically incorrect a lot of the connection with the hundreds cour Guernica hasn’t stopped war time, it’s rude, it’s energetic.’ of people who have taken part definition of and it’s meant to be the greatest He organised an exhibition in in his projects, to dedicate ouselves” anti-war statement of all time.’ Cardiff in 1999 called himself to them; his passion is While his work is con- ‘Unconvention’, inspired by the no act. I shouldn’t be sur- suddenly, seeing the funny sciously ‘anti-big-P-politics’, it influences and reference points prised then by the Deller-ness side, ‘so this guide dog was is clearly political ‘on a small-p of the Manic Street Preachers, of next week’s interview list: freaking out. In the end he level’, as he clarifies it. He sees and shows me pictures of a ‘I’m doing one for a cycling had to be led by another man.’ the unpopularity of folk art in weekend when political groups program on the radio next He explains that the idea Britain as a symptom of what and unions set up stalls within week… and one for a maga- came from watching the Lord he calls our ‘top heavy defini- the gallery space that was show- zine about bats’. Bats? Yes, Mayor’s Show: ‘it’s really tion of ourselves’; ‘it’s the class ing ‘hardcore artists like Munch he likes cycling and he likes weird, it’s like a corporate system in Britain – we don’t and Picasso’. It is easy to see bats. He seems to be avoiding parade.’ He tells me about the define ourselves through folk why this is one of his greatest the Guardian rather well. COMMENT www.varsity.co.uk January 28, 2005 9

In defence of Spongebob “CUSU have been get-

seek to deny the virtues of a regular ting all hot and both- .net dose of such innocent escapism? e ered over a simple Jon Well, actually, some have done. Not imag content with firmly establishing the misunderstanding” Swaine status of Janet Jackson and a breast as joint top threats to the Western world and constantly annoying President Bartlett on The West Wing, the mouth- pieces of the American Christian Right Last week saw ferocious competi- are at it again, now up in arms with our tion between CUSU’s Urbanite at part from getting the right leg porous hero. His crime: appearing in Cocos and the new Lady Penelope’s at of your trousers caught in We Are Family, a children’s DVD pro- Life, established by Cambridge entre- Ayour bike chain, seating plans moting basic social tolerance within preneur Frank Walding. CUSU’s when the host has decided to ‘mix it schools. The American Family anger was obvious when Ents up a bit’ and Catherine Zeta-Jones, Association has expressed extreme con- Manager Neill Higgins said that Lady there is nothing worse than ironic cern regarding the motives behind the Penelope had ‘Lost her Brains’ and last student taste. Come anywhere near project, claiming it is an ‘open door’ to Thursday both sides were out in force me wearing a ‘Co-Caine’ t-shirt, eat- the ‘recognition and discussion of toons. It’s ok, I knew it would click.) homosexuality, and possibly some flyering college bars. The coup de grace ing from a He-Man lunchbox or homosexuality’. ‘While we want every- Now, except for Spongebob possibly twisted realisation that they don’t surely went to the Penelope’s team reciting the lyrics to the Fresh Prince one to respect other people’s beliefs’, being accusable of promoting the bene- really know if or why it’s wrong, and though, as many JCRs - meant to be of Bel-Air theme tune, and frankly I stated AFA spokesman Ed Vitagliano – fits of tight shorts, a high-pitched voice certainly don’t want to engage in a affiliated to CUSU- were happily giv- refuse to be held responsible for my obviously bored of prefixing with the and holding hands with a (pink) male debate over it, they merely succeed in ing away promotional tickets for the actions. Sorry, but you’re not in the more traditional ‘I’m not homophobic, friend, the only possible substance these making a half-baked case for nothing opposition’s club night. least bit krazy; neither are you partic- but’ – ‘we do not consider it appropriate groups seem to be basing their fury on much at all. They should either make ularly random. You’re really irritat- for children’s television to be used in an is the ‘tolerance pledge’ any visitor to their case unashamedly, or, in recog- ing, and – along with the ever- effort to indoctrinate children to accept the DVD’s official website is urged to nition of the fact that it negates the healthy viewing ratings for Cash In homosexuality,’ he continued. sign, which happens to include accept- ‘each to his own’ pleas they limply The Attic – are chiefly responsible for ance of sexual orientation - not exactly shield themselves with, keep their P a r k e r the meagre sympathy forthcoming What are these con- all-out brainwashing, really. But such views to themselves and let the for complaints about rent rises, top- fused reactionaries hypocrisy is nonsensical: how does one civilised world get on with theirs. up fees, or essay crises. reconcile stressing the importance of It may seem churlish, even tedious to Yet there are certain things in life actually respect for difference while simultane- point out things like the fact that fif- How amusing though that CUSU which, in so beautifully treading the trying to say? ously denying ‘acceptance’ of that dif- teen million American children live in have been getting all hot and bothered fine line between brilliant and rub- ference’s existence? Perhaps that’s the official poverty, a figure ever-worsening over a simple misunderstanding. bish, hover defiantly above such pit- Not wishing to miss out on all the simple point: far easier to tolerate since family benefits were slashed in Cocos’ owners have announced that falls. As such, just as I won’t hear a bad sensible, reasoned debate, Focus on the something when it’s not even there. 1996. Nevertheless, I can’t help think- they have sold the club, and it’s due to word said about low-fat Müllerice or Family’s Paul Batura has swiftly But to purport that their motiva- ing that these organisations established shut for refurbishment soon, so a Girls Aloud, I sincerely hold announced that they share the AFA’s tion lies in an earnest prevention of for the purpose of advancing the state replacement night is needed when this Spongebob Squarepants to be an ani- fears, claiming ‘this video is an insidi- some demonic, stealthy pressure-to- of the family could do worse than to happens. The hitch is that the closure mated masterpiece of our time. Its ous means by which kids are manipu- gayness being positively thrust upon stress the simple pertinence of facts like has been postponed without the fusion of the unbridled whimsy of the lated and potentially brainwashed,’ poor, impressionable children by a this as vehemently as they seem to wish Penelope’s team realising - so what is adventures of a talking sponge in an labelling it ‘classic bait and switch’, joint Cartoon-Liberati axis of evil is to attack Spongebob, Big Bird and seen by CUSU as a direct attack by underwater city built in absolute defi- referring to the semi-fraudulent com- pretty ridiculous, and is surely belied Clifford the Big Red Dog for doing Walding is actually only a question of ance of physics, let alone sound con- mercial practice by which one product by the inconsistencies in what these their little bit to spread some harmless misjudged timing. struction practice, with educational, if (homosexuality, in case you weren’t confused reactionaries are actually tolerance and equality. In the words of inexplicable, bouts of brutal reality – following the wafer-delicate subtlety trying to say. Caught between a fairly Patrick, ‘dumb people are just blissfully Bobby Friedman Spongebob begins to shrivel up and of this brilliant analogy) is sold via the clear abhorrence at the prospect of unaware of how very dumb they are.’ choke if deprived of water – demands advertisement of another more imme- young people acknowledging the Never has there been a wiser chubby, Anything we should know? Email to be admired. Surely no-one could diately attractive alternative. (Fun car- existence of, let alone accepting pink starfish. [email protected] ll we

The king of the jungle y Bar Luc the event with a ceremonial expedition much news space. Either you’re a social- T R outside his colony, clucking proudly ist, coffee-house-snacking townie with along the way. no grasp of the real world, or a mon- Williams I used to adore animals. As a small strous, archaic snob with no grasp of the child, on spotting any furry creature I real world. I’d be neither; nor, frankly, would squeal, jump and start hyperven- would most people. The fact that the tilating, even more so after the afore- government can pass a ruling on the en paces between us, several mentioned beast had bitten my arm. matter, then casually postpone it, illumi- more if you’re a cockerel. I Onlookers called it casual violence; I nates the crucial truth: most people Tglared at my feathered oppo- would have called it playful frolicking, if don’t really care. nent, my eyeballs twitched under the those words had been in my vocabulary. Old men walking their dogs, old combined weight of the early-morning women feeding their parrots, small sunlight and several caffeine injections; My job was to look boys pulling off butterflies’ wings; these he nonchalantly blinked in response. I are typical, human pastimes. But barked; he ran a complete circle, then after the pimp of spending your family’s life savings on stopped, appearing slightly embar- the pen and his cryogenically freezing your cat Maurice rassed. I snarled; he nodded. To be posse of chickens so that you can enjoy him as a lollipop honest, he could have opened his beak in thirty years time (when you will be and started singing ‘I Will Always Now I’m not so sure. For so long we dead anyway), such an action leaves me Love You’; I wouldn’t have flinched. have championed animals, occasionally cold. Of course animals have feelings, Truly, this was the stuff Sergio Leone’s to unimaginable extents, but are they in and anyone who genuinely enjoys dreams were made of. If he had grown any way grateful? Such thoughts passed slaughtering defenceless foxes for fun up on a small farm. Somewhere in the through my mind as I confronted probably deserves themselves to be Home Counties. Malcolm the renegade cockerel. hunted down by men in leather. But by Once upon a time, that is to say a few I’m not an animal-hater. Far from it, God, don’t animals just love to exploit days before, our relationship was passing I have massive respect for all those veg- our feelings in the most manipulative, swimmingly. My job was to look after etarians who can withstand the temp- Machiavellian manner. the pimp of the pen and his posse of tation of, say, pepperamis. I just feel Incidentally, I never caught Malcolm. chickens, and he was politely receptive jaded by animals now, as if their pres- I shouted a bit, realised I was talking to to me. Then love turned to hate, as he ence in everyday life – from the myself, and sulked off in quiet humilia- began to chase me, peck me and then Emmanuel ducks to whatever beasts tion. At the gate, I paused to look back scram whenever I wanted him to stand are carved up in the kebab vans – has forlornly at the pen. He glanced across, still. My attempts to reason with him become an irrelevance. tilted his head patronisingly, and had failed, and by the end my fatigue It depresses me that a story like the hopped back in through a small hole in had turned to pure antipathy. Now was hunting debate can, with everything else the netting. I was his friend, I was his my final day, and he had chosen to mark happening in the world, gobble up so enemy, but in the end, I just gave up. 10 COMMENT January 28, 2005 www.varsity.co.uk

11-12 Trumpington Street Cambridge CB2 1QA 01223 353422

Editor Amol Rajan [email protected] Deputy Editors Henry Bowen James Dacre [email protected] Online Editor Sarah Marsh [email protected] Deputy Web Editor Adam Edelshain Arts Editor Jessica Holand [email protected] Chief Photos Editor Albert Mockel- Von-Dem-Bussche Photos Editor Lucy Barwell [email protected] Chief News Editors Chine Mbubaegbu Lucy Phillips [email protected] News Editors Amy Goodwin Oliver Tilley [email protected] Chief Analyst Sam Richardson News Analysts Rachel Willcock Kate Ward Comment Editor Ned Beauman [email protected] Letters Editor Mungo Woodifield [email protected] Features Editors Jenna Goldberg Sarah Sackman [email protected] Science Editors Krystyna Larkham “Credit where credit’s due: Cambridge’s sportsmen and women are not the automata some take them for” Zoe Smeaton [email protected] Interviews Editor Mungo Woodifield [email protected] Travel Editor Oliver Batham [email protected] Shame, lust, and college port Theatre Editor Allegra Galvin [email protected] Music Editors Nicola Simpson Why drinking societies perpetuate the sexual repression of public schools Jon Swaine Was Yaqoob hen you find out someone Perhaps you’re in a drinking society [email protected] went to boarding school, that follows the usual single-sex for- Satire Editors Jonny Sweet Wyou should treat them as if I’m in an all-male Ned mula and yet it has no public school Zack Simons you’d found out they’d served multiple “ members. Or maybe it has a few, but [email protected] jail terms: with suspicion, but also with drinking society. you’re not one of them, you’ve co- Visual Arts Editor Johanna Z-Sharp sympathy. I went to boarding school, Beauman existed normally with girls all your [email protected] and I’m not proud, except of the fact How did I let things life, and you enjoy it anyway. How do Film Editor Emma Paterson that I got through it without losing my go so wrong? I explain that? I don’t need to. I’ve [email protected] mind. In the outside world, a lot of ” sometimes had a good time at formal Literature Editor Benjamin King people see Cambridge graduates just as swaps. But you should ask yourself [email protected] a lot of Cambridge students see ex- why exactly you’re imitating this Visual Arts Editor Johanna Z-Sharp public school pupils: smug, over-privi- twisted social institution, originally [email protected] leged, ready to put their feet up until talk, then sit at a long table, boy-girl- girls. How else do you think it took invented by old public school boys, for one of their old friends offers them a boy-girl, over a better-than-average Magdalene until 1988 to accept the benefit of old public school boys, job. Of course, the stereotype is accu- canteen meal, then dance to bad pop women students? When your interac- to the exclusion of all others. You’re Fashion Editors Agata Belcen rate a lot more often in the latter case while everyone watches everyone else tions with the opposite sex are regi- participating in this bizarre regression Lucy Styles than in the former. to see if they’ve ‘pulled’ (dear God, how mented that carefully, everything can ritual when it doesn’t even apply to [email protected] That’s why I wanted to forget my I loathe that word). The only differ- seem as safe and simple as a leisurely you, and giving your support to these Sports Editors Adam Edelshain past when I got here: some people ence was that the dancing took place in flick through Nuts. ancient, ugly, repressive notions of Tom Burrell never really leave boarding school, and the same hall in which you’d just eaten, There’s also nostalgia for a time sexual politics. Ben Myers I wasn’t going to be one of those peo- not in Cindy’s, and no one’s teeth were when being a man was a less ambigu- The most important thing for [email protected] ple. After my leavers’ dinner, my origi- dyed blue with WKD because you ous thing. All-male drinking societies, Cambridge’s future is to end its pri- Production Ifti Qurashi nal dream of putting my boarding weren’t allowed any alcohol. with their strict male-female ratios and vate-school dominance - but now that Managers David Wyatt house to the torch was sadly reduced to Why on earth would anyone choose haze of flirtation, implicitly exclude gay we’ve had a little bit of sucess in that, [email protected] the milder rebellion of refusing to buy a to recreate these soul-flaying evenings? people - but then, with their festering why should we hold on to the worst Production Alastair Currie school tie. Still, I thought I was free. Because some people find a return to homophobia, so do boarding schools. features of the previous era? With all Sarah Keen But a year and a half later, I find myself those days comforting. Back then, you You’re a success at a drinking society if these public school boys going out into Business Manager Eve Williams in an all-male drinking society, and knew when the girls were going to you down a lot at your initiation and the world and making everyone else [email protected] proposals for the design of our official then fondle a pretty girl after the din- imitate their customs, we might as well Chief Sub-Editor Anna McIlreavy tie are getting emailed round. How did ner, two criteria of masculinity that still be in colonial times. I let things go so wrong? We might as well haven’t changed for thousands of years. So that’s why I’m resigning from my Email the business manager to enquire Drinking societies, for their ex-pub- “ None of that ‘New Man’ stuff here. drinking society, and I won’t be joining about placing adverts. Letters for publica- still be in colonial tion should be emailed or posted to the lic school members, are all about hope- Lastly, there’s nostalgia for a time any in the future. The ties were the last editor. less nostalgia. There’s nostalgia, first of times (which none of us have actually experi- straw. For a while I wore pink nail var- To get involved in a section, email the all, for a time before girls invaded one’s ” enced) when being from public school nish to the formals to register my dis- relevant section editor listed above, and life. At school, our only term-time really was like being part of an exclusive, content about the kind of man they come along to a meeting. No experience necessary. contact with girls was at the occasion- arrive, you knew when they were going privileged club. Thankfully, these days, were turning me into, but, as I learnt Varsity is published by Varsity al, humiliating ‘house dances’ - and I to leave, you knew that there was no there are very few institutions left where when I left school, mild rebellion gets Productions Ltd, and printed by think most drinking society members need to judge them on anything deep- having an old-school tie will guarantee you nowhere. I can’t forget my past, Cambridge Evening News. All copyright is who didn’t go to boarding school er than looks, and you knew that, if you you a job - and this makes a lot of peo- but I can do my best to make up for it. the exclusive property of Varsity Publications Ltd. No part of this publica- would be appalled to find out how embarrassed yourself, you were unlike- ple feel cheated. But join a drinking We’re adults now: if our mates ask us tion is to be reproduced, stored in a closely our formal swaps seem to be ly ever to see them again. After a life- society, and for a little while you can pre- to join a club, we should be capable of retrieval system or transmitted in any form modelled on them. Put on a nice shirt, time of single-sex education, some peo- tend that you’re still part of an acknowl- turning them down. This means you, or by any means, without prior permission endure half an hour’s awkward small ple never quite get used to living with edged elite (with ties and everything!) too, girls. Who’s with me? of the publisher. EDITORIAL www.varsity.co.uk January 28, 2005 11

Letters [email protected] Letters may be edited for space or style

LBGT Litigation? In truth, it needs only to be re-read if Executive of Centre Point, the country’s you do not understand it first time round. leading youth social exclusion charity. Not admissions of guilt Dear Sir, The work is constructed elegantly by a fine author and I urge readers to enjoy it Are their achievements, expertise, con- It is a curious fact that, for approximately the past half century, and cer- We would like to comment on an item before listening to a reviewer who tribution to the country, knowledge and tainly for the whole of the past decade, the predominant reason for in Parker’s column (21st January) regard- remarks in his introduction, ‘I don’t know experience not substantially greater than national media coverage of the universities of Oxford and Cambridge ing the growing trend for drinking socie- where to start’. any Oxbridge academic? has been criticism of admissions policy rather than celebration of aca- ty formal swaps to attend the LBGT demic achievements. The chief effect of such coverage is this: to disre- Unique night at Life on Tuesdays. Faithfully yours, Yours sincerely, gard, to an unhealthy degree, the very great good that these two univer- Despite being (rightly) mooted as sities still do, and will continue to do. straight-friendly and inclusive, this night Benjamin Dabby (Gonville & Caius) William Stevenson ( Jesus) And yet scepticism over the efficacy of admissions policy is necessary. is designated as one of the few regular So long as we live in an age where diversity and tolerance are the ulti- social opportunities in Cambridge for mate goals of social policy, it will be impossible to determine with queer people. absolute certainty whether those who pass their admission interview(s) Errata Claws Out are here because they deserve to be. It is for this reason that we inves- Having a load of straight people turn tigate admissions policy in this week’s paper. up in order to try and pull is counter- Dear Sir Dear Sir, Some conclusions: firstly, there is no material evidence whatsoev- productive and confusing, particularly as er to suggest that ‘sports admissions’ – that is, admission to the tensions might be raised if uncertainty I was surprised to see the statement by With regards to your article of last University solely on the basis of sporting ability – are the favoured abounds. Are all these drunken straight James Dacre in his article ( January 21) week, winningly-entitled ‘Catz tsunami policy in any Cambridge college. Credit where credit’s due: men, on the pull, really going to react that the previous Vice-Chancellor (Alec blunder’. Cambridge’s successful sportsmen and women are not the automa- well if they are hit on themselves, or if Broers) had been Knighted but his pred- tons some take them for. They have been known to actively encour- their advances are rebuffed by women ecessor had not. A mere glance at Who’s Seeing the concerns voiced by certain age what is seen as widespread misconceptions of their character; but who were hoping for a night out in a has- Who will show that Sir David Williams members of the St. Catharine’s JCR over the popular and patronising criticism of them as intellectually inferi- sle-free enviroment? What of the plight was Knighted 1991 during his Vice- the theme of the bop, I would like to add or is thoroughly unjustified. Nevertheless, it is also the case that of the lesbian and bi-sexual women if Chancellorship. my voice to the chorus of voices attacking some colleges favour sporting ability more than others. That is dis- they are eventually whelmed by straight fun by demanding the suspension of the crimination, and it should be eradicated. women? Yours faithfully, inflammatory ‘Back to School’ bop later Secondly, support for the current admissions process amongst stu- in term to be cancelled out of respect for dents within Cambridge is strong. This, admittedly, might not be sur- There is so much potential for bad David Harrison the school children who sadly perished in prising – few students would admit, at least to us, to feeling their place feeling and there are so few meeting (Master of Selwyn 1994-2000) the disaster. In addition, perhaps we here was undeserved – but such support is welcome respite for univer- places for LBGT Cambridge, compared should consider outlawing Christmas in sity staff. with the social opportunities enjoyed by recognition of the upsetting connotations Thirdly, there is growing concern amongst senior members of the heterosexuals, that it seems only reason- that this annual festival will have after university that the mismanagement of higher education by this gov- able to request that this night not mutate Dear Sir, the events last year. ernment and those immediately before it is influencing admissions into yet another opportunity for straight policy to a dangerous extent. In the immediate future this universi- clubbing. Obviously this cannot be My pedantic side was disheartened to Perhaps a ‘Natives and Colonials’ bop ty will not follow the path of Oxford in deliberately increasing the enforced in any workable sense - how see not one, but two references to would be a better choice for the next bash. proportion of international students here. But the financial turmoil could the bouncers or anyone else ensure ‘Queen’s’ on your letters page this week. facing Cambridge University is now so serious that British students a quota of bona fide queers in the club? Is it Varsity policy not to edit letters, so Yours etc., stand to be discriminated against in favour of foreign counterparts. the ignorance of their authors remains There is nothing intrinsically wrong with this; international students However, if Life does end up being unadulterated? Or is your editorial team Andrew Berwick (St. Catharine’s) raise standards, and deserve a place here as much as Britons. But in swamped by heterosexuals on a Tuesday also unaware of this fine piece of so far as it is symptomatic of the decreasing control universities exert night, could we perhaps sue the club for Cambridge history? Or are you such over who they let in, it seems the ineluctable decline of higher edu- not providing the experience of an adver- skilled and intrepid researchers that you cation in this country is accelerating. tised LBGT night? wish to return to the original pre-19th Cause for thought Century spelling of the name? Yours sincerely, Dear Sirs, Enter the Rooster The official currently used spelling of Peter Illing (Christ’s) the college name is ‘Queens’ College’, as With regard to Jon Beckman’s astute China gets a lot of bad press these days. This is mainly because the Peter Collins ( Jesus) the college was founded by two queens. comments last week (Not every villain generation of leaders now ruling the West spent their early careers in a Sally Lamb (Newnham) This is unlike Queen’s Road, which is has to be Hitler) I would like to add the climate governed by the Cold War, where the presence of a hostile named after Queen Victoria rather than term ‘genocide’ as another that is so often Other was a given fact. Since the end of that conflict, these leaders the college. abused and misinterpreted in our English have taken upon themselves the task of replacing the Soviet Union language. with a new foe. And China, with its enormous and exportable cultur- Meta-review Yours, al heritage, and its growing participation in the world economy, is an While the Asian tsunami was unques- appropriate target. A cover story by Martin van de Weyer in The Dear Sir, Sally Clough tionably a disaster of collosal propor- Spectator earlier this month was written in response to such targeting. tions, to label it a ‘genocide’ is disingenu- But it is an observable feature of our society that we fear most that Tom Kingsley (‘Leeches falling from ous. ‘Genocide’ was the calculated exter- which we know least about. For this reason, among others, the profes- the sky’, 21/5/05) urges us to read mination of 6 million Jews in the Nazi sionalism and commitment of Cambridge’s Chinese community in Murakami's latest novel, Kafka on the Scholars not Lords death camps. If the horrifying statistics welcoming the Chinese New Year is to be heartily applauded. The Shore. It was so good he had to put the of thousands of Tsuanami victims are breadth of events that they have organised – which includes the Ori- book down whilst reviewing to, ‘gibber, Dear Sir, unfathomable, try to imagine 6 million entz party at Ballare, an annual ball, and a New Year Gala – has been excessively, in admiration’. This is a pity people. The tragic ignorance demonstrat- impressive. And the involvement of the Bank of China, who are spon- since the review did the book little jus- Was James Dacre perhaps seeking an ed by Prince Harry’s swastika and the soring the ball, is testament not only to the continuing pulling power tice. We learn that Murakami’s world is essay extension when writing ‘there are bandying about of Nazi-inspired insults of Cambridge’s name but also to the mutually beneficial relationship so ‘whimsical’. The accomplished author very few people who actually do some- should be cause for deep reflection before many of Cambridge’s societies enjoy with outside donors. If the prin- uses metaphors from which, ‘things don't thing for both the long and short-term we commemorate Holocaust Memorial cipal achievement of these celebrations is a greater awareness of, and really develop any further’. welfare of the country other than aca- Day at the end of this month. respect for, Chinese culture, the Chinese community of Cambridge demics?’(Comment, Jan 21). will have done both themselves and their anxious political leaders a Murakami is aware of his poor and Yours Faithfully, very worthy service. pointless metaphors and disguises these To fill the House of Lords with aca- with still more elements that finally, ‘all demics as is mooted would be to appoint Beth Alexander add up to very little’. Harsh criticism, to the upper chamber a group with limit- THE FASHION SHOW 2005 and confusing to read alongside praise ed experience and narrow expertise who (in the same article) of one of live their working lives in worlds of is looking for: Murakami’s ‘most sophisticated works’. hypothesis and conjecture. Online STYLISTS • STUDENT DESIGNERS• CHOREOGRAPHERS A work that offered, ‘perfectly precise TREASURER • PUBLICITY MANAGER • EVENTS insights into life’, lifting the plot from Instead recently appointed independ- Dear Sir, MANAGER • SPONSORSHIP MANAGER • COLLEGE REP- the ‘simply surreal’. ent peers have actually made real contri- RESENTATIVES • TECHNICAL DIRECTOR butions to public life. These include I am writing to commend your new- Now either the book is worth reading Frances D’Souza, founder of the the look website...www.varsity.co.uk. As well to create, dazzle and shock on the runway or it is a confused jumble. The review Relief and Development Institute which as being faster and more organised than makes both cases and fails to recognize publishes original research on the earliest the last, it’s managed to absorb the fast The annual show will take place towards the end of term. It is a that the plot is embedded in the surreal economic indicators of severe food short- evolving aesthetic mode of the internet. I rare chance to involve yourself in something a little different, a from the outset and never departs from ages and carries out innovative work on look forward to witnessing its next revo- little more challenging, and entirely creatively provocative. the consistently significant use of liter- appropriate emergency responses in the lution! ary techniques. These make the novel context of disasters; John Browne, group Why not apply? what it is, yet the reviewer finds the Chief Executive of BP Amoco plc and Yours faithfully, contact agata (ab492) or lucy (lamws2) by saturday 29th Jan work has a bit ‘too much of everything’. the UK’s leading businessmen and Model Student, Art Picturehouse Cafe, Sun 30th 3 - 6pm employer; and Victor Adebowale, Chief Stu Puff /guide /stage /music /the rest

FRIDAY 19:30 Wolfson Theatre, Churchill GODS present Arcadia QUEENS’ Represent Hip hop SUPPER 19:30 Cambridge University Jewish Society 19:45 ADC CADS present Power CLARE Dynmo ft Marcus Intalex & DRS @ The Student Centre,Thompsons Lane 19:45 Robinson Auditorium Brickhouse Theatre Co JUNCTION Boogie Wonderland The best in 70s EVENT 22:00 Culanu present ONEG 28 present Accidental Death of an Anarchist LIFE Boogienight 70s and 80s music @ The Culanu Centre, Bridge Street 22:30 ADC Cambridge University UNION Begalis in platform bop Contemporary Dance Workshop present Spectrum SATURDAY 19:30 Wolfson Theatre, Churchill GODS present Arcadia JUNCTION Boomslang Breakbeat with Rennie Pilgrim 19:45 ADC CADS present Power LIFE The Big Party Dance, 60’s and club classics 19:45 Robinson Auditorium Brickhouse Theatre Co JOHN’S Boiler Room Elektro and live break beat 29 present Accidental Death of an Anarchist 22:30 ADC Cambridge University Contemporary Dance Workshop present Spectrum SUNDAY LIFE The Sunday Roast Suporting CU Hockey Club FILM 20:30 & 22:30 Christ’s Garden State FEZ Room for XPosure Open mic for local talent FILM 19:00 & 22:00 Robinson Bourne Supremacy 30 listings powered by MONDAY JUNCTION Flamenco Classes Takes you to the heart of Seville LIFE Live is Life International student night 31 FEZ Fat Poppadaddys Funky and soulful sounds

TUESDAY 19:00 Corpus Christi Playroom Brickhouse Theatre LIFE Unique CUSU’s lesbigay night FILM 20:00 Corpus Buena Vista Social Club Company present Shakers Restirred BALLARE Top Banana CUSU ents flagship night 1 19:45 ADC ADC present FEZ Ebonics Mix of hip hop, dancehall, reggae The Master and Margarita PONANA Dynamo d’n’b With Hospital’s Logistics and 21:30 Corpus Christi Playroom ADC present Commix playing The Black Saint and The Sinner Lady 23:00 ADC Footlights Smoker WEDNESDAY 19:00 Corpus Christi Playroom Brickhouse Theatre BALLARE Rumboogie Godfather of Cambridge nights FILM 19:30 Robinson Solas Company present Shakers Restirred FEZ Mi Casa Tu Casa International student night EVENT 20:00 CUJS present Booze for Jews @ 19:45 ADC ADC present The Cow 2 The Master and Margarita 21:30 Corpus Christi Playroom ADC present The Black Saint and The Sinner Lady 23:00 ADC ADC present Testimonies THURSDAY 19:00 Corpus Christi Playroom Brickhouse Theatre COCO Urbanite CUSU’s night of hip hop & rnb Company present Shakers Restirred FEZ Wild Style Award winning night of hip hop EVENT 19:00 - 21:00 Culanu’s thursday night melt down 19:45 ADC ADC present Alternative therapists on hand! 3 The Master and Margarita 21:30 Corpus Christi Playroom ADC present The Black Saint and The Sinner Lady 23:00 ADC ADC present Testimonies 28th January 2005

in association with

WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT PAGE 02 MEDIA AND ENTREPRENEURS PAGE 03 POLITICS AND INITIATIVES PAGE 04 STAGE AND LITERATURE PAGE 06 MUSIC AND VISUAL ARTS PAGE 07 SPORT PAGE 08 28th January 2005

in association with

WHAT IT’S ALL ABOUT PAGE 02 MEDIA AND ENTREPRENEURS PAGE 03 POLITICS AND INITIATIVES PAGE 04 STAGE AND LITERATURE PAGE 06 MUSIC AND VISUAL ARTS PAGE 07 SPORT PAGE 08 2 28th January 2005

Editor’s note

Varsity Talent List 2005 The Varsity Talent List 2005 editorial team initially com- piled a shortlist of almost 200 Foreword from Amol Rajan, Varsity Editor, Lent term 2005 Cambridge student candidates by way of contacts and exten- The function of this document is dict of those who read that sideration of those criticisms, with the field in which they my. (I, for one, will not see the sive research. But the near- as follows: to bring to public issue, and the breadth of that and I hope it strikes the read- have achieved success. Where list until I pick up a printed impossible task of picking out attention the identity of students readership lends such a verdict er as symptomatic of healthy the ‘Power 100’ list mixed stu- copy of the paper). Each the ‘100 most talented stu- whose contribution to a particular authority. Letters streamed editorial policy that those crit- dents and academics, this member of this judging panel dents’ was given to the panel of field of student activity in into the Varsity office not only icisms were not dismissed out year’s list concentrates solely is a public authority in their judges below. We hope to have Cambridge has been noteworthy. from irate students in of hand. Indeed, many were on students. own right, and has clear asso- included a comprehensive, but On 16 January last year, Cambridge – who tended to embraced. And where an editorial ciations with Cambridge. by no means definitive list, to Issue 591 of Varsity contained have very similar criticisms – ‘Power’ is an ambiguous team appointed by Varsity These changes will not free showcase the diverse and full- a ‘Power 100’. This swiftly but also from officials at the word. We have therefore decided last year not only on the ‘Talent 100’ from all criti- packed lives of current became one of the most con- BBC and editorial staff from abandoned it, in favour of the who should go into the list cism. But they will, I hope, go Cambridge students. troversial documents of recent newspapers across the world. more focused ‘Talent’. The but also which order they some way toward dispelling Purpose and meaning aside, student journalism. Some of the criticisms of dubious business of ranking should be in, this year we have the notion that this document the popularity and influence of That verdict is not the the ‘Power 100’ were valid; people has been discarded too, appointed an independent is either worthless or purely such lists are demonstrated by responsibility of this editorial others were not. The changes and we have put individuals committee to scrutinise nomi- egotistical. Let us know if the sheer number of them that team, or any of its recent pred- that we have effected to this within particular categories to nations, and they have had you disagree. appear all over the media every- ecessors. Rather it is the ver- year’s list reflect a serious con- associate them specifically considerable editorial autono- day. We hope this list has a place amongst them. But are aware that it will undoubtedly adding fuel to the stringent debate on the cult of the Talent 100: The panel of judges Cambridge celebrity. We have included some remarks that the judges made about students featured on this list for your interest, and to convey the positive feedback we have been given so far about all the candidates. We would like to thank Peter, Gordon, Oly, Gillian, Andrew, Ruth, Anne and Wes for the time they spent look- ing through over 100 pages of candidate profiles . We Peter Agar Gordon Chesterman Oliver Duff Gillian Evans Andrew Gilligan hope that the resulting list Peter Agar took up his cur- Gordon Chesterman is Oly Duff, 21, graduated from Gillian Evans is Professor Andrew Gilligan studied reflects the hard work that has rent post as Cambridge Director of the CU Careers Cambridge in 2004 with a of Medieval Theology and History at St John’s gone into its compilation, University’s Development Service. He has had a variety degree in Social and Political Intellectual History and has College, Cambridge, dur- design and publication. Director in 2002. Prior to of jobs in print and publishing Sciences from St John's. In been prominent for some ing which time he was that his distinguished and and recruiting graduates for between essay crises he spent years in pressing for News Editor of Varsity. varied career, which began one of the UK’s largest gradu- far too much time holed up in reforms in the University of Gilligan worked at the Lucy Phillips with an Economics degree ate recruiters. His own inter- the offices of Varsity and The Cambridge. She is co- Cambridge Evening News Chief Editor, Varsity Talent at Downing College, ests have included painting, Camridge Student, both of founder of the Oxcheps and The Sunday Telegraph List 2005 included time working for choral singing and running an which he edited. He now Higher Education before joining the BBC in the Treasury, the Ministry Edwardian coal-fired steam works on the home news desk Mediation Service, and 1999. He resigned as Editorial Team: of Overseas Development launch on the river in Ely. and the media supplement at does quite a lot of case- Defence and Diplomatic and the Foreign Office. He Overawed by the standard of The Independent, writing work. She is a semi-profes- Correspondent for Radio Charlie Delingpole also held important posi- all the individual entries to the news articles and media inter- sional artist. She does not 4’s Today programme in Andrew MacDowall tions in the Governments Varsity Talent List, he and his views. His ambitions are to claim to know much about January 2004 in the wake of Chine Mbubaegbu of Botswana and the colleagues are sure that all work in the Middle East and sport, though she's fairly the Hutton Report. He Niccie Simpson Solomon Islands, and he these students, reaching well to launch a UK newspaper. If well informed on the other currently writes for the Rachel Willcock was Deputy Director beyond academic achieve- all else fails then sitting on a fronts and she has some Evening Standard on Eve Williams General of the CBI from ment, will continue to make a Caribbean beach, drinking his experience with the media defence and diplomatic 1994 to 2000. marked contribution across all own weight in rum each day, as a commentator and occa- affairs and is an occasional walks of society. would suffice. sional journalist. columnist for the Spectator.

A word from our sponsors, Procter and Gamble At P&G we are constantly look- Business Development to ing for people who relish new Finance, IT and Product Supply. challenges, want to develop new What all of these roles have in skills and who enjoy an environ- common is the focus on early ment where every day isdifferent. responsibility backed up be best Thats why we chose to team up in class training and develop- Ruth Keeling Anne Lonsdale Wes Streeting Clare Gambardella with Varsity in sponsoring this ment. We know that for people Graduate student representa- Anne Lonsdale is Deputy Wes Streeting, 22, graduated Clare read English at year's Talent 100. The talent 100 who are already achieving so tive on the University Council Vice-Chancellor of from Selwyn College last June Newnham College between is a great way to celebrate the much at University - it is impor- and sabbatical president of the Cambridge University and with a 2.1 in History and is 2000 and 2003. During her many people in Cambridge who tant to start a job or internship Graduate Union. Until last President of New Hall currently CUSU President. time in Cambridge she was are doing extraordinary things where you're making a real differ- November Ruth was MCR College. She is also a Trustee During his time at Selwyn, he involved in the theatre scene, outside of their academic studies. ence from the start. Training on president at Pembroke, and is of the Cambridge had a long history of involve- producing plays at college These people are just some of the the job, in the class room and one doing a PhD on the European Foundation, the Newton ment in college, having held and ADC level. Her love of Cambridge students who go on one is key to develop your higher education policy (the Trust, the Cambridge and the positions of JCR President, English also extended to a above and beyond what is expect- skills but also crucial for the com- Bologna Process and the har- Commonwealth Trust. Ents Officer and President of role on the committee of the ed to get involved with project- pany. At P&G we only promote monisation of the Bachelor- Before coming to Cambridge the Selwyn Snowball. In addi- English Society. On graduat- sthat they are passionate about - from within - so we need to Masters framework through- Anne was Secretary-General tion to his role at CUSU, Wes ing from Newnham she took be it in sports, arts, politics or develop great people in order to out Europe). After her time at of the Central European is currently Chair of the a position with Procter and community activities. These safeguard the future of the com- the GU, she will be going to University. Her interest in Aldwych Group - the students' Gamble as Assistant Brand people not only contribute a huge pany - and train our next CEO! Brussels to do fieldwork at the environmental research led to unions of elite Russell Group Manager for Tampax and amount to their colleges and to So if you want to earn a com- European Commission. For her position of Chairman of institutions - actively involved Alldays. She also co-ordi- Cambridge as a whole, they also petitive graduate salary while now, her chief concern is put- the University's Committee in NUS and is a member of nates the Cambridge recruit- develop the kind of skills which developing your talents further - ting the GU in a better posi- for Interdisciplinary Labour Students. Wes was ment team, ensuring students are essential in the business go to www.pgcareers.com to tion to co-ordinate and repre- Environmental Studies for excluded from judging the are aware of the wealth of world. At P&G we offer both check out internships (closing sent graduate concerns the past four years. ‘politics’ section of this compi- opportunities available with- internships and full time posi- date 18 Feb 05) or full time throughout the University. lation. in P & G. tions in a range of functions from placements. Congratulations to Marketing and Customer all the Talent 100 winners. 3 28th January 2005

Archie Bland James Pallister Ex-Editor of Varsity. Editor of Meat magazine. Apparantly “shit at spotting typos”. Media Guardian Student columnist Also chief designer and publicity officer for the arty magazine of the year 2004. Bland's established and funded solely by students. Meat magazine won only paid writing experience best small budget publication at last year’s Guardian student to date came on work expe- media awards. ‘Meat’ goes on sale in Cambridge, Newcastle, rience at the Evening Edinburgh and London, including at the ICA bookshop where it Standard, where he received is the second fastest selling magazine. forty pounds for a diary piece on the size of Tom “Non wanky arts coverage.” Jones' penis. Amol Rajan “The Guardian Current Varsity Editor. Promising cricker career cut award was short by injury. Spent gap year thoroughly at Foreign Office; became unof- ficially the youngest ever British Lucy Phillips deserved diplomat to represent the UK at Current News Editor of a conference in Belgrade in Varsity and responsible for recognition.” 2002. Prominent youth worker co-ordinating this list. in native south London.

Jonny Wood Ex-News Editor and Web Tom Ebbutt Val Mellon Editor of Varsity. Part of the Ex-Editor of Varsity and Winner of this Year’s Radio One Student Radio Awards for online team which won the the man behind last year’s ‘Best Entertainment Show’ and ‘Best Female Presenter’. Her Varsity Special Achievement successful campaign to save show on CU Radio 1350, ‘Mellon til Midnight’ has features such Award in 2003. Nominated Gardies. as ‘Play Your Tarts Right’ and ‘STD of the week’. Also does for the Guardian Student weekend shows on the national digital station CORE Fresh Hits Media Awards 2004 for the “Saving Gardies for the UK. Varsity website. was top stuff.”

Arthur House Edwina Casebow Co-Editor of Mays 13, which Current Issue Editor of looks set to improve on last BlueSci, Cambridge’s only year’s success, with rumours science magazine. of a very exciting guest editor She has played a key role in the pipeline. Also does in the creation and develop- interviews and writes theatre ment of the magazine since it reviews for Varsity. was set and is heavily involved Ruth Barnett in the editorial side Current Co-Editor of TCS. Top news hack and keen political activist. Sam Richardson Ben Bland “Strong style” Former sports and web edi- Ex-Varsity news editor who tor of Varsity. Currently a set up links with the student member of their news inves- radio station, and is now Lou Woodley tigation team. Runner-up Editor and Head of CUR Managing Editor of BlueSci. Involvrd in negotiating a contract for Guardian Student Sports 1350 News. Hopes to pursue Tom Williams between BlueSci and Varsity and drawing up a student-run science Writer of the year 2004. a career in radio journalism. Current Co-Editor of TCS. magazine ‘to entertain both scientists and non-scientists’. Worked Freelances for T3 maga- The first Chief Editor in the as a runner at the Cheltenham Science Festival last spring and got zine and works part time as “Inventive work in history of TCS to run for two through to the penultimate round of the BASF young science writer Assistant Production radio news.” terms. Newspaper design competition. Manager at Polity Press . guru. “She has done pioneering work for BlueSci.” Ex-goalie for the Blues.

“They all display daring and persistence.....and a good Entrepreneurs judgment about risk-taking.”

Sonja Marjanovic Sanjay Tickoo Finalist in the Community Director of Biology in Business (BiB), a non-profit organisation bridging academic and commercial life Category of The Daily Mail’s science with a mission to promote career development, entrepreneurship and technology transfer between Enterprising Young Brits com- the two. Core member of the i10 Biotechnology Initiative, an East of England consortium that provides petition for her contribution to a unique interface for businesses to tap into the region’s academic pool of innovation, expertise and assets. global healthcare. Founded DiagnovIS, an enterprise aim- ing to develop accurate, afford- able and accessible methods Frank Walding for diagnosing infectious and parasitic diseases, primarily for For the past two years Walding use in the developing world. has run a number of regular DiagnovIS won the People, club nights and events for Planet, Productivity category of Cambridge students. These the 2003 CU Entrepreneur include ‘The Sunday Roast’- business plan competition. Sundays at Life, ‘Licked’- Also a PhD student at the Tuesdays at Coco and The Judge Institute. Cambridge Fashion Show James Osborne 2004. He is in the process of Magnus Gittins Set up MangeRapide.com, a acquiring a bar/bistro in cen- At 19 successfully set up and food company as a joint ven- tral Cambridge within the sold off the Australian version ture with J Sainsburys. Also Jasdeep Singh next 12 months. of Freeserve. Current set up a business importing Head of CU Entrepreneurs Society. Presided over the largest stu- Chairman and CEO of and retailing clothes via mail dent business plan competition in the world, giving away £77,000 One of the core focuses of his £100m company Advance order. Founded and ran the to numerous Cambridge student business teams. Instrumental in business interests is a website a comprehensive guide to Nanotech Inc, which spe- CU Fashion Show in 2002 the development of the £100k Global Startup Workshop confer- called CambridgeEye.com - a clubs, the stage, sport, music, cialises in the acquisition and and 2004. Runs the Sunday ence, with over 200 delegates from 37 countries. Also doing a complete online guide to stu- gigs and events all over commercialisation of nan- Roast club night at Life. Ex- PhD in Enginerring. dents at Cambridge providing Cambridge otechnology. President of the Pitt Club. 4 28th January 2005

Laura Walsh Politics CUSU Presidential candidate to watch. Former Fitz Target Schools Officer, now CUSU Target Campaigns Officer and former Union Director of Communications. Self-confessed election junkie -lost her first aged nine but has won many more since. First person in living memory to hold down Executive posts on both unions. Alasdair Ross Current President of the Naveed Anwar Cambridge Union, former Current CUSU Access “.....for aspiring Senior Officer, former Officer and Former Vice Secretary and Registrar of President of the CU Islamic to the CU Conservative Society. In charge of pro- Association. moting state school applica- backbenches Has worked for Boris tions to Cambridge. and the battle John West Johnson. A combination Involved in the setting up of CU Labour Club old timer, of grit and charm makes a national Muslim think- against Editor of Cambridge him a housewives’s tank for ethnic minority Socialist Essays and former favourite. communities. inequality.” CUSU Communications Officer. Recently ques- tioned the point of Tony Blair. Henri Murison Bobby Friedman Assistant Secretary of the Last term’s Union President -the first non-CUCA President for Young Labour National five terms. Improved the Union’s image with debates starring Committee, former Trustee of the likes of Peter Stringfellow and Miss Canada the British Youth Council. Accustomed to meetings with ministers, will make a quick rise Matthew Jamison into the Commons. Founder and Chair of Peterhouse Politics Society and Secretary of the Henry Jackson Society - a “...brilliant Peterhouse only neo-con foreign policy group. and effective.” Former CU Consevative Association Chairman and Campaigns Officer. Has Tim Stanley worked as a parliamentary Labour Party candidate for researcher for Oliver Sevenoaks. Three times Letwin. An extrovert defeated Union Northern Irishman. Proved Presidential candidate. his dedication to the Iron Renowned for his three- Lady by appearing as her in Jane Jacks piece suits and political a play. Chair of the CU Labour incorrectness. Club, and former full time Eurosceptic socialist. officer of the GMB Union. Jaffar Khan Hopes to be involved in a A second year SPS student Elected President of the Cambridge Union for Easter 2005. re-invigoration of the Wes Streeting who left school at 14 with no Formely Senior Officer. Labour Left. CUSU President, Chair of The Aldwych Group of Students’ qualifications and came to Unions and former Selwyn JCR President. Has a proud rep- Cambridge via a stint in the utation for rent rebates and increased grassroots activism. famously left-wing Ruskin Played a central role in the sucessful ‘Hands Off Architecture’ College in Oxford. Sophie Adelman campaign. Has a high national profile within the NUS and Defeated Castle Ward by- Former JCR President of Emannuel and member of the University Council. Rumoured CUSU looks set for Westminster. election candidate December Sabbatical candidate despite having been awarded the Hershal Smith Scholarship to study at Harvard Recently beat the School’s Minister Stephen Twigg in a 2004. Expected to be in next year. Sees herself as “political with a small ‘p’”. spelling test for the Guardian Student supplement. Parliament by 2010.

Rachel Battilana Short listed for an award in the Best Civil Engineering Student category by the Institute of Initiatives Civil Engineers, the Oscars of the science world, for her work on emergency ‘cold climate’ shelters for refugees.

James Willan Founder and main driving David Ansell force behind the Students’ An integral member of the Pro Bono Society, an Cambridge Hands-on organisation which Science committee and matches law students with founder of the CHaOS communtiy associations, Summer Tours. such as Victim Support, A key figure in promot- the Cambridge ing science to children and Laura Lane Independent Advice members of the public, Chair of the CU Southern Centre and the Citizens Andrew Lamb most famous for his African Fund for Education Advice Bureau. Director of Engineers Without “Crash, Bang, Squelch!” committee since 2003. The society was short- Borders, a national organisation demonstrations. Organised fundraising listed in the National training aspiring engineers in Also one of the main events to help the Bright Student Volunteering development work skills as well organisers of the Physics Kid Foundation convert a Awards. as an engineering undergradu- Dominic Hinton open day, part of the shipping container into a ate. Also heavily involved in the President of Cambridge Cambridge Science fully equipped portable Cambridge branch of EWB. RAG, currently working to Festival. classroom in Johannesburg promote University wide Ambitions include and attended its opening. fundraising for the survivors wanting to build his own Visits many organisations Katie Taylor of the Boxing Day Tsunami science museum. supported by the college A volunteer with Contact, Tom Wilkie tragedy. SAFE schemes. the student visiting service Varsity Technical Director for the elderly and house- and Cambridge webmaster. bound in Cambridge, since Designed and set up the 2003, now a member of the Cambridge Fashion Show Shwen Gwee management committee. website, CambridgeEye.com. Head of The Naked Scientists -a media-savvy group of Cambridge physicians and researchers Helped Contact win one of Also works for the events - Research Team, which helps to solve listeners questions live on air. The Award winning The Cambridge Evening production company BBC weekly radio program, The Naked Scientists, has an estimated audience of 6 million lis- News Changing Lives ‘Recognition’, specializing in teners across the east of England, and also has an international following on the web. Sony’s Awards. May Balls. biggest fan. Closing date for internship applications is 18th February. Apply now! 6 28th January 2005

Andrew Pontzen During 2003-4, when communications officer for the ADC, he Stage redesigned the club website from scratch. Instigator and presi- dent of ACTS, and the designed the camdram.net website. This summer he designed and produced a 32-page colour booklet (an introduction to drama) persuading 28 societies to fund the proj- Simon Evans ect, printing 6000 copies. Has been involved with productions Produced and starred in 3 pro- for stage and television as a sound producer and designer. Played Arts the back of a horse in the CNT pantomime Jack in the Beanstalk. fessional magic shows in Oxford before coming to Cambridge. Played the role of ‘weatherman’ sketch). Appeared Ed Riches Feste in a film version of Cleme Wade as Magwitch in the 2004 President of Footlights Twelfth Night. Re-wrote, pro- A regular at the Footlights Footlights Panto Great 2003-4, during which time duced, directed and starred in Smokers, she devised and Expectations, and recently wrote every Footlights Smoker his own version of Euripides’ wrote Around the Water in 2003. Appeared in the 2003 and co-starred in Diagnosis at sold out for the first time in The Bacchae last term, as well as Footlights Spring Revue the ADC, which will be per- Footlights History. Co- appearing in Scenes from Have you seen Sarah Brown formed at The Hen and wrote and co-directed the Mamet. Appeared in the ADC and directed and choreo- Chicken in Islinton. Has recent- 2004 Footlights Tour Show. production of Christie in Love graphed the 2003 Footlights ly started writing for his new Has performed stand-up in as the lead role, for which he Panto. Was a cast member for BBC comedy series. Is a mem- Soho and New York. Is cur- had to masturbate twice and the 1st ever production at the ber of the Northern Magic rently making a short come- simulate sex with a mannequin Globe Theatre. Appears in Circle and the International dy film and has recently on stage. Played the camped- the most recent Virgin Brotherhood of Musicians and been head hunted by Ealing up Mercutio in this year’s Adverts. Is skilled in many types of African dance. Nick Mohammed describes his ethnicity as Greek- Studios Head of Comedy. A ETG production of Romeo and Has performed extensively in Cypriot/Indo-Carribean. Has a good skier. Juliet in leather leggings. Footlights smokers whilst in remarkable sense of humour Cambridge, and took part in the considering his chin has been Max Bennet Matt Scarisbrick 2004 Footlights Tour Show (in stuck to his neck since a freak Played Sir Toby Belch in the Was involved in 25 shows in which he performed his famous accident when he was twelve. Sarah Solemani Marlowe Society’s production Cambridge between 1999 Vice-President of Footlights of Twelfth Night, and will and 2001, usually as sound and was in the 2004 Footlights appear as Antipholus in the designer. Sound designed Tour show. Played Elaine society’s forthcoming produc- the G&S Society production Lydia Wilson Martin Ball Robinson in The Graduate at tion of A Comedy of Errors. A of Utopia (un)limited at the Played Juliet in this year’s ETG Single-handedly adapted the the Gielgud Theatre in her gap member of the NYT for five Minack Theatre, for which production of Romeo and 2003 Footlights Tour show for year. Guest starred as Gillian years, and was singled out by he was praised by technician Juliet,and Wendy in the ADC. over 30 different venues, and Jennings in Red Cap for BBC. The Times for his perform- from the Royal Opera Has performed in Footlights’ was then appointed to the Has recently starred opposite ance with them this summer. House. Is the sound engi- Smokers. Is also playing Footlights Committee as Judi Dench in the Stephen Played Romeo in this years neer for a salsa band and for Adriana in this term’s Marlowe Treasurer. Was Tour manager of Frears film Mrs Henderson ETG production of Romeo the Cambridge University Society production of A Comedy the 2004 Footlights Tour Show, Presents, released this year. An and Juliet. Swing Band. of Errors. Artistic Director of earning the club £20, 000 more excellent cook. BATS and has illustrated for than the previous year’s show, Meat Magazine and Varsity arts. and was presented with the ‘Best Producer’ Award from the Ben Deery Edinburgh Comedy Lounge at Sam Kitchener Cambridge’s ‘leading actor’. the Edinburgh Festival. Appeared in the 2003 Appeared in the ADC Hannah Footlights Panto and Edinburgh production of Five Whittingham directed it in 2004. Has Visions of the Faithful and played Has performed in two of the written for and per- Jaggers in the 2004 Footlights CUMTS Arts Theatre Sam Yates formed in numerous Panto Great Expectations. Productions, Little Shop of Co-founder and director of Footlights Smokers. Shortlisted for the Harry Porter Horrors and West Side Story. Was Blank Theatre Company, Performed in the Memorial prize and has often in the Royal Ballet for 3 years whose first production, The ADC Edinburgh pro- performed stand-up in and was a finalist in the Tempest, was seen as revolution- duction of Five Visions of Footlights Smokers. Will per- Antipholus, and in the ADC Cambridge Popstars Compe- ary. Has directed 2 short films the Faithful, and played form in the Marlowe production Lent Term Musical My Fair tition. Described by The and has been involved exten- the title role in last year’s Max Webster of A Comedy of Errors as Lady. Observer as ‘a star in the mak- sively in stage and television ADC production of Directed this year’s acclamed ing/the next Gwyneth Paltrow’. work, notably for the BBC and Richard III. production of ‘Romeo and Sang for Tony Blair in an Granada. Appeared in Cold Feet Will be performing in Juliet’, and Mozart’s ‘The Alex Outhwaite NAHT conference. and in Coronation Street as Joe. the Marlowe Society’s Magic Flute’, the biggest, most Directors’ rep for the ADC, and sits on both the G&S Society and forthcoming Arts technical opera in Cambridge the CUMTS committees. Directed last year’s hugely impressive Theatre production of A for the last 10 years. Regarded as CUMTS production of Little Shop of Horrors at the Arts Theatre. Comedy of Errors as ‘a hot tip for becoming the next During her gap year founded Kaloi K’Agathoi theatre, dedicated to Eshwar Alladi Angelo. Sam Mendes.’ the translation, adaptation and performance of classical comedy. This year’s CUMTS president, and produced their prodution of Merrily we roll along last term. The co-founder and producer for Blank Theatre. Headed a Finance and Sponsorship Team for Jane Metcalfe Mastana (Hindu Cultural Society Show). The current ADC com- Has designed extensively for productions since being in Cambridge. Was the set designer for Cracking Up, the Footlights Spring Revue 2004, and mittee publicist. the designer for the Footlights Tour 2004, a role usually fulfilled by a professional. Designers rep on the ADC committee.

Niall Spooner-Harvey James Topham Literature Has become ‘quite a personality’ on the Cambridge writing scene. Graduated last year and now Won the Other Prize, perhaps studying for a PGCE in Cambridge. A regular at the Songs in the Dark poetry readings, has been Cambridge’s most prestigious featured in Meat magazine, Dream Catcher and Mays anthologies. Now working on his first novel. prize for new writing, for his play Rostov’s House last year. The play explored the mental- ity behind the 1917 Russian “She is an inspiration to all aspir- Simon Bird Revolution. Won the Harry Porter ing writers in how to channel Memorial Prize and the TCS/Varsity Best Student creative passion.” Writing Award for his play C.E.J Simons Helen Oyeyemi Daddy’s Dead, judged by Holder of the prestigious Stephen Fry. He has per- Harper Wood Studentship in Cambridge’s most well-known student writer. Secured a reported six- formed at every Footlights Creative Writing at St John’s figure sum for her first novel, The Icarus Girl, whilst in her first year Smoker since his Virgin and thus proudly affiliated with studying SPS at Corpus Christi. Hailed by her publisher Smoker debut and his Cambridge despite being a Bloomsbury as ‘a remarkable new talent’. The Guardian sketches have appeared on PhD student at Lincoln described her novel as ‘a volatile mix of literary knowingness ITV 1. The current College, Oxford. Also holds and innocent delight in storytelling’, whilst The Times President of BATS and a degrees from Harvard and Review of Books relished its ‘bold, raw’ prose. Two plays member of the Footlights Toronto. Currently in China entitled Juniper’s Whitening to be published by Methuen committee. Is a huge fan of writing his first novel. next month, and a second novel on its way. Wayne Rooney. Appeared in MAYS 12. 7 28th January 2005

Ella Fitzimmons James Dacre Visual Arts Co-President of the Cambridge President of CU Visual Student Art Exhibition 2004. Arts Society. Deputy Dearly loved by Peterhouse. Editor of Varsity. Director The eternal student. of the Gilbert and Sullivan Manon Williams Society’s prodeuction of Recently awarded the Young Architect’s Prize at this year’s Orpheus and the Welsh National Eisteddfod. Designed the Student Art Underworld. Elected Exhibition Pavillion. She is a prominent student architect and President of the contributor to the Student Art Exhibition. Cambridge Student Art Exhibition in 2006. Aaron Rosen Co-President of the Cambridge Student Lucy Styles Art Exhibition 2004. Varsity Fashion editor; Had also been involved Luke McLaren Olly Wainwright exhibited in Student Art in the Cambridge Art President of ArcSoc. His installation was prominent Exhibition. Has set design exhibition in 2002, which Instrumental in the campaign in the St Peter’s church instal- for countless ADC plays and set out to create “a show to “Save Architecture” to keep lation series. Prominent stu- for prominent plays at the that truly reflects the wealth the Architecture Department dent architect known for his Edinburgh Festival. Vice- and variety of talent of stu- open, which ended in success. graphic design skills, which president of Cinecam. Co- dents at both Cambridge and He also designed the have gained him a number of Simon Creative director for Fashion Anglia Polytechnic Cambridge Student Art desirable internships. Show 2005. Universities.” Exhibition Pavillion. Fujiwara Designer for the Student Art Exhibition Agata Belcen Vannessa Whyte Michael Derringer Pavillion and other Co-Creative Talented photographer and productions such Director of CU video artist who has had work Photojournalist for TCS. His photo- as The Magic Fashion Show 2005. exhibited and published. She graphs have featured in a number of Varsity Fashion designed the publicity for sev- the top stories in the student media. Flute and Romeo Editor. Producer of eral University productions He has been interested in photogra- and Juliet. Also a Cambridge Caberet including the Student Art phy since he was very young. He has prominent archi- night, “The Cardinal Exhibition, the upcoming said: “I am always striving to take the tect and skilled Club”. President of “Sea shells, Hell’s Bells and a unobtainable “perfect” picture. I only figurative artist. the Cambridge brawl on Brighton Beach, or, hope I can get close to this goal.” Involved in design Student Art where’s my can-can cane?”, for National Youth Exhibition 2006. the burlesque cabaret by “The Opera. Cardinal Club.”

Gregor Riddell Music Cellist - attended Dulwich College as a music scholar and was a member of the Junior Royal Academy of Music, where he won the lower string prize and was principal cellist of the Symphony Orchestra. He is a University Instrumental Award holder and co-formed the Solstice Quartet in September 2003, who have since appeared on BBC Radio and attended the prestigious Britten-Pears String Quartet Academy last summer. Musically directed Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead at the ADC in 2004.

Tagbo Ilozue Principal conductor of CUSO and Assistant Conductor of CUMS. Graduate of the Junior Paul Higgins Royal Academy of Music, Has been a DJ for less than Queens’ Cambridge and three years and so far has held Magdalen College, Oxford. five weekly residencies at four Re-founded Oxford City different clubs in Cambridge. Opera, musically directing its Aidan Sproat Last year, he played at Pacha, performance of Puccini’s La Chairman of TCMS, Musical and five times at Ministry of Boheme. Worked as Principal Director of Fitz Swing and Sound. Has worked on Conductor for the Oxford Cambridge University Brass Samuel Green Ministry radio and will soon Medical Society Orchestra, Band and former Musical Aka Antithesis. South start his own show on CUR. Magdalen College Chamber Director of Trinity Singers. London rapper who started He has just been signed by an Orchestra and Oxford Director of TCMS May Week writing his own lyrics at 15. international DJ agency, and University Philharmonia. In operettas and ADC Main Nationally recognised as has upcoming bookings in 2003, was Guest Conductor for Shows. Talented conductor, ‘Hip-Hop’s Jew Crew’. Switzerland, Italy, Portugal the Oxford Chamber singer, pianist and trombone and Ibiza. Orchestra. player.

Dan Terrins James Williams Singer/songwriter, guitarist and Oldfield Jon Opstad bassist from Belfast, with a voice Finalist in BBC Young Composer of the Year 2002. Debut jazz album often compared to Damien Treasurer of CU Opera ‘Still Picture’, was released on own record label and played on BBC Rice’s. With musical partner Society. Bass-baritone for Radio 3. Currently leading a sextet performing a 60s Blue Note jazz and Ben Swire, he will self-release Trinity College Chapel string octet composition. Selected in Britten Symphonia Composition his own debut EP later this Choir. Also performed workshop. Percussionist in the band Pat Sharp’s Fun House. year. Lives by the motto Nil with professional choirs plaudite modo pecuniam jacite, or such as the rodufus Choir, ‘don’t applaud, just throw Voces Sacrae and the George Corbett money’. He owns a dog called Monteverdi Choir. Played Concerto soloist, conductor and English Scholar at Trinity Peter Foggitt Guinness and a plant called Sarastro in the much cele- College. He has performed in the Amsterdam and Hague Choral scholar at King’s - Robert, and is ‘not afraid to sing brated ADC production of conservatories, with the Arad Philharmonic in Romania and prolific singer and talented funny songs’. The Magic Flute. with Chetham’s Symphony Orchestra at the Royal College composer. Currently work- of Music. He has won the Ida Carrol, Musicas and Hattori ing on his third piano con- prizes, and was national string finalist in the BBC Young certo, to be performed in Musician of the Year in 2002. Has conducted a number of March at Trinity. His piano Alan Karthikesalingan orchestral concerts and operettas, including Mozart’s The recitals are marked by sec- Alto and soprano saxophonist with Fitz Swing Band. Single Magic Flute at the ADC and Verdi’s Requiem in Trinity ond halves improvised on handedly set up up Jazz Tank, a successful six piece funk band. Chapel. Last year he directed the Trinity Singers, and this audience-submitted themes Has played on Ready Steady Cook with Ainsley Harriott as year conducts UCPO, CUSO and is an assistant conductor ranging ‘from Blackadder vocalist. of CUMS to Britney’. January 28, 2005 SPORT Varsity Talent List: Sporting Heroes The most talented sportsmen and women in Cambridge

Natalie McGoldrick Wayne Pommen Horse Riding Rowing Churchill student, Natalie, has captained the University Captain of the successful Harvard Heavyweight crew and an U23 World Riding team for the past two years. She recently won gold Champion for Canada before coming to Cambridge. After missing out on the at the World University Equestrian Championships in Boat Race in his first year, due to injury, he went to the World Championships, December in Tokyo. She had only recently won first place racing in the coxless pair for Canda where he was only narrowly bested by at her first International student competition in Hamburg Pinsent and Cracknell in the final. Wayne captained the Cambridge crew to the in October. 150th Boat Race, in which they beat Oxford by the largest margin in ten years.

Kosi Abdulai Catherine Gunn Aki Abiola Rugby Union & Athletics Tennis Rugby Union Has been playing rugby since the age of 13 when she started Women’s tennis captain. Played number one at last year’s One of the few undergraduates to have broken into the playing for her local club, Scorpions. Since then has played Varsity match. Was undefeated in singles and doubles in University rugby team. He is a 3-time Blue, having played at for various England youth teams. She is also an athlete (triple BUSA premier league last year. Last summer, she played Twickenham in the Varsity Match since 2002. Also gained a jump) and has Blues in both Rugby Union and Athletics. number one for an Oxbridge team that toured the USA. Has half-Blue in Rugby League. Has represented England at been ranked among the top 8 juniors in the country from the rugby at under-16, under-18 and under-19 levels, where he age of 12. played in the Rugby World Cup. Also has a Blue in Athletics Viktor Stein and has represented England in the 100 metres. Swimming Current men’s Blues Swimming Captain. Has represented Jamie Parker the University since 2000 and now also Hockey swims for the City of Cambridge Has been described as one of the University’s Swimming Club. Has gained four “most talented” sportsmen. Gained Hockey Blues for swimming as a member of Blues in 2001-2004; was Vice-Captain of the Online Poll Varsity squads that have won every year. team in 2002, and captian in 2003. He was also Holds seven of the 32 individual top goal scorer in 2002 and 2003. Represented Cambridge University swimming the University in cricket in 2001, 2002 (captain) The student’s vote records and remains unbeaten by an and 2004. Has a 1st class batting average of over Oxford person in a Varsity 40. Was Public Schools Rackets Championship Match race. winnner in 1999 and British under-21 rackets doubles champion in 2000.

Josh West Tom James Bernt Heidicker Rowing Rowing Rowing Four-time rowing Blue. Spent four Rowed at the Junior World Represented Germany in two Olympics. years in the GB squad, gaining two Championships before Cambridge. In the intervening years, he won one Silver World Championship medals. Youngest member to have won a place World Championship (2002) and has sil- Rowed in the 8 in 2004 Olympics. in the Blue Boat for 2003 Boat Race. ver and bronze medals from the 2001 and World silver medallist in the coxless Went on to stroke the GB Senior 8 at 2003 World Championships. Currently four (2002 and 2003) and has various the World Championships in Milan, holds the world record in the coxless four. other International medals. and then in Athens Olympics.

Veronica Kunze John Ufton Volleyball Rugby Union Captained the University volleyball time One of the scorers in last year’s in 2002-3, in which they won the Varsity Varsity Match, in which he gained Match by the largest margin ever. Ex- his second Blue. Has also represent- Chilean international. She also cap- ed London Wasps, Barbarians, Chris Pitchford tained the University of Chile’s team England Schools, Colts, Chris Pitchford, a second year English stu- for five years. Under-21s and Students. dent at Fitzwilliam, received 37 per cent of your votes. He is the college equal opportu- nities officer and has played rugby for North west of England and Lancashire. He is also Phyllis Agbo Ed Carter Editor of the college satirical magazine. Athletics Rugby Union Has represented England since she was 13 and Britain since she Has just been named as the next Blues captain. A new recruit to the Reasons for nominations: was 15. At the ages of 13 and 14, she was national indoor sports side, he won his first Blue in December’s Varsity Match. Before “The nicest bloke I’ve ever met...... Chris is hall champion. In 2001, competed in her first heptathlon and Cambridge, Ed was a star on the Australian rugby scene, playing for a lovely gym buddy...... Chris can drink scored 4945 putting her 5th in the All Time under-17 list for New South Wales Waratahs. At a national level , he played for the more than any man in heptathlon, ahead of Denise Lewis. In 2002, she represented GB Australian Sevens in the Manchester Commonwealth Games in Cambridge...... Chris can play rugby, and in the heptathlon and 100m hurdles, making the under-20 team 2002. He then went on to captain the team in 2003. He has played sometimes well...... I once saw Chris DJ at a as under-17. Was nationally ranked top 20 in 5 events. Has won for Australian Schoolboys, Australian under-19’s,, Australian bop...... Chris is wonderful...... Excellent 15 medals at English Schools over the years. Universities and Sydney University. sporting and drinking tactics.”.

Editorial team: Lucy Phillips, Chine Mbubaegbu, Niccie Simpson, Andrew MacDowall, Charlie Delingpole and Rachel Willcock EDINBURGH Clare May Ball Auditions for acts for the This week is looking for acts and St. John's May Ball Saturday 12th performers for 20th June Does Religion Do More Fri 28th: Boozehound Rock bop, FESTIVAL and Sunday 13th cheap drinks. Harm Than Good? Please contact us at Please e-mail Tues 1st: Beer festival 8pm. 2005 Speakers: [email protected] Wed 2nd: Jaap de Hoop Scheffer, [email protected], Prof. Peter Lipton, Solve your for further information, NATO Sec. Gen. 8pm. outlining what you do and Head of the Department of the accommodation including preferred day and am/pm Thurs 3rd: Religion debate 8pm. History and Philosophy of Science. problems by calling any relevant experience. and type of act. Prof. Simon Baron-Cohen, Carole Smith/ Professor of Developmental Anne Goring Psychopathology. on 01620 810 620 Dr. Ed Kessler, email address CAMBRIDGE FOOTLIGHTS Director,The Centre for the Study of [email protected] Jewish-Christian Relations. opens Smoker auditions this THE FASHION SHOW 2005 is looking for: or write to Festival Flats, Saturday, from 12 till 2 Sunday 6th February, 8pm,The

3 Linkylea Cottages, in the ADC Dressing Room. Culanu Centre (Bridge St, between STYLISTS, STUDENT DESIGNERS Oxfam and The Galleria) Gifford, East Lothian, SMOKER to take place on the CHOREOGRAPHERS EH41 4PE following Tuesday. £2 Donation (to the Tsunami Appeal) Why not apply? contact agata (ab492) or lucy (lamws2) by saturday 29th Jan JUDITH E WILSON

DRAMA STUDIO,

Faculty of English SamSam SmileySmiley

Cambridge Series Poetry Readings

Readings by contemporary and 68 Trumpington Street

experimental poets:

31 Jan: Marjorie Welish • Geraldine Monk • Josh Robinson Special Offer 7 Feb: Ian Patterson • Nick Totton • Great tasting, Jeff Hilson

14 Feb: Lisa Jarnot • Marianne Morris • Kai Fierle-Hedrick Large Baked Potato with 21 Feb: Tom Paulin • Andrea Brady • great value pizza Bernard O'Donoghue

28 Feb: Ken Edwards •Chris Emery •

Ian Hunt Grated Cheese and Baked 7 Mar: Keith Waldrop • Rosemarie for delivery Waldrop • Dave Rushmer 14 Mar: Lee Harwood • Stephen Beans Rodefer • Malcolm Phillips

SUNDAY SCRIPTLAB/Marlowe Society and collection

Sunday 30th is Simon Williams' - 'Wanton available from 11.00am

Boys', a pantomimic comedy - The director

will be Will Houston, who has worked Dominos, Cambridge: 01223 355155 extensively in Theatre, Film and TV. 27 Hills Road, Cambridge, CB2 1NW 7pm showing/wine Only £1.50 http.//www.english.cam.ac.uk/dramastudio 14 FEATURES January 28, 2005 www.varsity.co.uk Genius on both sides of the brain This year sees the 400th anniversary of Cervantes’ Don Quixote and the 100th anniversary of Einstein’s Theory of Relativity. Sarah Sackman and Jenna Goldberg celebrate these achievments of human genius.

Del poco dormir y del mucho leer, genre. The writing is at once of his irrepressible imagination cation of the first part of Don that he is the creator of a culturally unifying effect on se le seco el cerebro funny, satiric and moving. and his tragic delusion. Where Quixote in 1605, a fake sequel, Quixote’s story and makes con- Spain. However, there are con- Cervantes revels in his ability, others see ramshackle inns, was released by Alonso stant references to annals and cerns that the novel may be With so little sleep and so much like Don Quixote himself, to Quixote sees an enchanted cas- Fernández de Avellaneda. It archives in which accounts of apportioned for nationalist reading his brain had dried up. tell a good story. tles, where others see windmills, appeared that Don Quixote’s the knight’s adventures are purposes. When the book’s The book opens with the Quixote mistakes them for fanciful belief that his exploits recorded. In Don Quixote three hundredth anniversary week back at famous line ‘In some village in giants which must be slain. were being recognised and Cervantes explored the mean- was celebrated in 1905, follow- Cambridge and one La Mancha, whose name I do The novel recounts the pair’s recorded had taken on a literal ing of literature and story- ing the humiliating loss of Aknows how Don not care to recall, there dwelt adventures in a series of truth. By the time Cervantes telling, this complexity has Spain’s last colonies in the Quixote must have felt. Its not not so long ago a gentleman of episodes typical of the libros de completed part two in 1615 he ensured that the novel’s influ- Philippines and Cuba in 1898, easy defeating whole armies of the type wont to keep an caballerías (medieval knight’s seasoned it with derisory refer- ence has persisted through the novel was used to cultivate sheep, taking on windmills unused lance, an old shield, a tales). Yet unlike the medieval ences to the imposter. On their many centuries, inspiring the a reactionary nationalist myth. and maintaining one’s chival- greyhound for racing, and a stories which they parody, the writing of Barthes, Borges and In 2005, as demands for rous charm, even if it is only in skinny old horse.’ characters assume an inner con- Just as the reader Derrida amongst others. regional autonomy in a daydream. It is the story of Alonso sciousness which subverted In recent times, the ageless Catalonia and the Basque This year Spain celebrates the Quijano, an ageing, low ranking contemporary literary norms. In loses himself in tale of Quixote has been adapt- country grow more intense, ‘El four hundredth anniversary of noble who longs to emulate the Don Quixote, for the first time, Cervantes’ writing, ed to stage, ballet, computer Quijote’ is once again, rightly the publication of the greatest chivalrous exploits he reads of, dialogue is infused with realism, game and film. Graham Greene or wrongly, being proposed as a novel in the Spanish language night after night, in his capturing an everyday vernacu- so Don Quixote is brilliantly reinvented Quixote national symbol which may Don Quixote. Widely regarded medieval tomes. Just as the lar, which provides an effective enraptured by for modern times in his novel transcend these divisions. as the first modern novel, reader loses himself in vehicle for characterisation. tales of heroism Monsignor Quixote. Here the Debates on nationalism Cervantes’ masterpiece is the Cervantes’ writing, so Don Master and squire undergo title character is a renegade aside, Don Quixote is a classic, most translated book in the Quixote is enraptured by tales development throughout the priest, whilst Sancho is trans- and a ground-breaker in world after the Bible. The of heroism. novel in which each adopts travels Quixote and Sancho formed into a deposed Western literature. image of Don Quixote on Quixote is a dreamer. He attributes of the other. The sim- Panza encounter people who Communist mayor. The two In the prologue to Quixote, horseback accompanied by his wonders the scorched plains of ple Sancho, who tolerates have already heard word of their abandon chivalrous horseback Cervantes addresses the reader faithful squire, Sancho Panza, is La Mancha on his knackered Quixote’s whims in the hope of exploits. Within the novel, as in adventures for a road trip post- directly: ‘Idle reader…I would an icon of Western culture. It is horse Rocinante, accompanied reward, grows in stature. In his real life, the characters attain Franco Spain in Rocinante, a wish this book as the child of a book that most are familiar by Sancho Panza in pursuit of final act of loyalty, he attempts mythic status. beat up SEAT 600. my brain to be the most beau- with but few have actually read. adventure. He seeks out the to coax Quixote from his dis- The novel is stylistically com- Like the Bloomsday celebra- tiful, the liveliest and cleverest The book, the bane of every lovely Dulcinea, a lowly peasant sent into madness which leads plex, full of wit, irony and liter- tions of James Joyce in Ireland imaginable’. Discover it for Spanish school child, is a girl who Quixote conjures into a eventually to death. ary self-reference. Cervantes last year, the ‘year of the yourself, Cervantes’ boast was comic parody of the chivalric noble heroine. It is a sign both Following Cervantes’ publi- toys with the reader, denying Quixote’ is anticipated to have not an idle one.

Anna Af Hallstrom Imagination is more important that knowledge...(said Einstein)

In October of last year two However the results were the ence of the human spirit. scientists beat a $600m NASA opposite of what they expected Einstein once said, ‘I want to project to measure a phenome- and they proved him wrong. know how God created this non first posited by Einstein’s These scientists were young world. I am not interested in theory of relativity. and they dismissed Newtonian this or that phenomenon, in the Ignazio Ciufolini and physics, the backbone of mod- spectrum of this or that ele- Erricos Pavlis measured ‘frame- ern science; they must have ment. I want to know His dragging;’ in which a massive been rather sure of themselves. thoughts; the rest are details.’ body, for example, a planet will When Galileo first theorised It’s not the milli-arcseconds drag space-time around with it that two objects of different that are important, it’s that as it spins. The science is rather mass fall at the same pace and their discovery adds a little to complicated but needless to say the picture we’re slowly build- NASA were not pleased and, I Progress is just as ing up of our universe. should imagine, you are not all That’s why it’s important that excited. much about balls that we celebrate the 100th Scientific discoveries often as anything else; anniversary of the Theory of seem rather whimsical to the the balls to go Relativity, a theory so compli- layman. Space-time is dragged cated that the best physicists in around by an angle of 42 milli- against something the world struggle with it, let arcseconds per year – great. But people have alone those who can’t tell an perhaps in 50 years time this atom from Adam. If the uni- most pedantic of measurements ‘known’ for verse is a puzzle, Einstein will have paved the way for centuries found all the corner pieces, and innovations that will irrevoca- for that we should be grateful. bly change the things we know that the earth travels round the It makes it easier for the next about our universe. sun, he was contradicting person to find the right piece. Invention, innovation and ancient Aristotelian theory as There is one more principle discovery are often random; well as, as many people saw it, of relativity to require confir- penicillin was discovered by the Lord Himself. mation (for the curious, it’s the accident, as was radioactivity. It Progress is just as much existence of gravity waves) and seems that a key part of progress about balls as anything else; the experiments have already is having the guts to never dis- the balls to go against some- started. Scientists are pretty miss an anomaly, mistake or thing people have ‘known’ for certain that Einstein was right, seemingly ridiculous assertion. centuries or to go against a but then again, wouldn’t it be In 1887 Albert Michaelson multi-billion dollar govern- exciting if he’s wrong and and Edward Morley did an ment agency. Political, cultural there’s a whole cornerpiece of experiment in an attempt to and scientific progress are all our universe we are yet to find? prove one of Newton’s theories. born from the same persist- www.varsity.co.uk January 28, 2005 NEWS KING 15

Howard answers critics - in style! S&S

Mike Williams Media King - News headlines reject pronouns. pangly Michael Howard Politics King wowed journalists this week Swith a glitzy-ritzy eye-popping - Bush: will he ever not have been ‘statement extravaganza’ to declare president? an ejection of ‘brownoes’, from ‘Land’s End to Lambeth’. Oliver Drink King Letwin, made-up in an adorable minstrel costume, introduced - Coffee: not my cup of tea. Howard with a few droll observa- tions on multiculturalism. And for a Tycoon King fleeting moment, journalists shed professional constraints to enjoy a - Catz organise S & M bop for good-natured, well-honed example Guantanamo prisoners. of comedy mimicry: ‘Me don’t know ’bout y’all niggaz, but me be lovin’ dat ole cottin.’ Sin-King Howard entered to a harp, accom- panied by three swanky showgirls - Gluttonous ship: “too fat to float” holding off-pink goose-feathers to preserve his modesty. Beginning with a short song, he tossed his top hat into the adoring band-stand, Photo King wiggled his hips and denounced the deadly influence of Islam. Howard continued, ‘Sometimes, my wife likes to play the fool. Last night, after ‘He was just... I mean, wow!’ we’d finished making love, she said to me, “Kurt, do it again.” So I did. Tony Blair passionately responded, A tearful Michael, head flung to But seriously everybody, our policy is ‘Howard thinks that he can can-can, the heavens, asked, ‘Honestly, what’s to profoundly reduce immigration.’ but he can’t can-can: if anyone can the income tax of child’s laughter? Cambridge was literally in flames Coming at a time when fears can-can, he can’t. I can. Can-can.’ How can you draw on a graph what this week over steamy allegations about global warming are in a fierce He proved this the only way you can: only grows in the heart? Someone regarding this year’s steamy and radical decline, Howard promis- by dancing in front of everyone. give me the statistical growth of my Talent100 list. es that immigrants will ‘be’ the only ‘But the thing I like most about Grandad’s wrinkled hand reaching The panel, comprising 53,000 ones affected by his immigration shooting deer,’ quipped the Tory for the toffee!’ And I think we all Varsity editors (past and present), Bush inaugurated. All rejoice. policy. In a passionate response, leader, ‘is the way those rascals dance.’ knew what he meant. comprises 12 seriously objective, steamy Varsity panellists, each con- troversially explicitly featured in this To day or not Op-ed Inside Gossip Inside Britain year’s short, steamy list. Today? Sally & Chrysler Ned Davo Rob Building Moleman Boy

Using the formula [28+2]-1 The country is ruled by man named researchers at Cardiff University Blair. But who is he? This old town... Death-monster Peter Sutcliffe lolled have discovered that Saturday 29th When my granny died where was around on a Sunday-long Dead Dad January is going to be the most infu- he? When the toilet paper turns grim Fans on both sides were left fuming gadabout, it was revealed yesterday. riating of all 2005's 365 days. Dr where is he? Where is Blair when I today, after it was declared that The fiend, Sutcliffe, was driven in Cliff Arnall, the project co-ordina- lie in despair with a cat in my hair? ‘Sport itself was the real winner’ of an expensive petrol-powered car to tor, stated, ‘It's really going to piss He’s made his bed and eaten it. He’s this afternoon’s game. As such, nei- idyllic ENGLAND, where he was me off. Like people with speech made a cake and lied in it. That’s ther side was awarded any points, given a free dead dad and offered NEWS KING, ‘Ever the king of impediments. I mean, what's their where you’ll find the dear old Mr whilst fans of the abstract concept of comfort. news’ – Newsking 2005’, can royally problem?’ Blair. He doesn’t care. I’d rather be ‘Sport itself ’ were delighted with an reveal that tonight Cambridge will Dr Arnall had been looking for- ruled by a chair. He doesn’t care and all-too-rare victory. Psychotic literally be in flames over its own ward to a relaxing day at home with his name is Blair. VOTE BLAIR. smoky allegations. Buckle up: it’s his matchstick ships but now awaits Another story... A grinning Sutcliffe was given the steam time! the weekend with trepidation. ‘I chance to hug the vaporous dead dad The criteria for this year’s list will thought I'd be able Carlisle resident Michael Finnegan, and then given a softy ‘beano’ mag comprise factors by which one to relax at home and famed for having the most spectacu- and allowed television dreams. Is this judges appropriateness for inclusion build some ships out lar beard in the region, was left dev- justified, when murder is bad? therein: sex-appeal, flex-appeal and of matchsticks,’ he astated after winds of up to 90mph The fiend snatched 11 tots (24) steamy dietary needs. 29 said, ‘But now I blew ‘the whiskers on his chin-egan’ from their prams in a 5-year reign Here’s the scoop: the writing’s on await the weekend clean off his old-man’s face. A before being reunited with sobbing the wall for Mr Hieroglyphics with trepidation. down-hearted Finnegan commented female mums (size 3). whilst tennis fans will love-all those How can I relax when I know I'll be ‘It took me years to grow that beard. The monster, Sutcliffe, used an ranked at position 23; and – as in annoyed? I'll never forgive 29th Now I’ll have to begin again.’ Poor iron boot to bind the pals, while he 2004 – Ramadan will definitely January for this.’ old Michael Finnegan. and friends laughed on in speculation. feature this year! Politicians sneak up behind Blair 16 FASHION STRIPE January 28, 2005 www.varsity.co.uk

Lucy: shirt from Stephens Brothers, shorts from Retro Woman (Notting Hill), leggings from Noa Noa (Cambridge), shoes from Office, earrings from The Hive (Gwydir Street, Cambridge) V

28.01.05 phico ra arsity o Iconog v hi Arc

Aboriginal Rock Art from 6000BC, preserved in digital format pick of the week

Talk: Jaap de A digital revolution Hoop Scheffer Cambridge Union, Wed 2nd Feb, 20.00 Nicola Simpson on how art is changing An incredible oppor- n November 2000, a seminal important development for con- ther questions as to the subjectivity tunity to hear the

event happened in the arts temporary art practice since the of the quality of art in general. Arts recently appointed Iworld - The Gutenberg Bible, invention of photography. The use It all comes down to one ques- Secretary General of NATO talk about the first book ever printed, was put of remote technologies is allowing tion: can one method of art-mak- Europe’s relationship with America, and online. Among the reasons put for- artists to move beyond the gallery ing be considered better than his vision for the future of the world. ward for the online publication was to exhibit and distribute their work, another? The necessity for artists to that it would result in less wear and severing a reliance on traditional develop drawing skills is still tear on the originals, which may institutions. New forms of artistic emphasised in art schools, as a Film: have eventually been destroyed by practice are emerging, which are result of this, there is still a stigma Mulholland constant handling. Considering entirely specific to digital culture, attached to something which pass- Drive that The British Library has only but this has opened up numerous es itself off as art, but has not been Arts Picturehouse,Fri two complete copies of the book, it aesthetic, philosophical and politi- drawn, painted, or chiselled by 28th, Sat 29th, 23.10 was something of a blessing. cal questions. hand. Digital art has provided Lynch mindf**k, so This was a turning point in tech- Can we now define ‘digital art’ as volatile fuel for such a debate as it incomprehensible he nology, and one of a number of a separate discipline within Fine is considered to be a ‘low’ form of published a series of ‘clues’ to help view- technological advancements which Art, or has it attached itself to exist- art, and in the eyes of today’s tradi- ers piece it together. Hollywood satire, have altered the face of art. But ing practices, such as painting and tional artists, keyboard and monitor cackling inch-high OAPS, alternate reali- other forms of art have benefited photography, and mutated them are simply not sufficient to be a ties and a man in a cowboy hat. Brilliant. from technology’s capability to pre- into hybrids? It has been argued ‘real’ artist’s tools. serve – in 2002 Australia’s aborig- We are living in a digital world ines turned to western digital tech- Can one method of in which keyboards outnumber Theatre: nology to preserve their unique art-making be better office workers, everybody has a Testimonies rock art in digital format. Digital web page and nobody carries cash. ADC Theatre,Wed technology such as this has not than another? Must we accept the impact of dig- 02th-Sat 05th Feb, only come to play an important role ital technology on the art world as 23.00 as a means of preservation, but has that the use of computer graphics inevitable? The importance of its This brand-new series also influenced the very way art is and digital imaging does not bridge role in the preservation of art can- of monologues made – visual art, music, theatre, gaps between design and fine arts, not be ignored - film canisters are explores life as seen from the view- film, television, radio and photog- but instead encourages more rigor- collecting dust after 75 years of point of members of the LBGT commu- raphy have all been revolutionised ous definition of their specific roles. nonuse, video formats from the nity in Cambridge as part of CUSU’s by digital technology. The validity of using a computer 1980s are becoming unreadable awareness week. The effects have been far-reach- to create art has been criticised, as and even web projects created min- ing and controversial, particularly computers can turn equations into utes ago are already becoming Music: Piss Up in relation to music - the advent of ‘art’ with a few clicks of the mouse. stale. Digital art, too, will be of Look Sharp digital downloading has enabled us Might we not argue, however, that long-term historical significance, Cambridge Union, to download music and films which the idea is, by nature, an artistic whether we like it or not. The Friday 28th, 9-1am are copyrighted works without per- endeavour? There is a particular debate about the cultural signifi- The Union’s not just for mission, which is, of course, against difficulty in addressing this issue: it cance of digital art, and how it port-drinking any the law. But can we be blamed for has become almost impossible to compares to traditional methods of more. A pound a pint becoming bedroom criminals when apply an objective criteria of quali- art-making, is becoming more and and as much grimey indie, alco-pop and it’s just so easy? ty to computer art because it is more vocal. It seems that the aim electro-disco as your dancin’ shoes can The advent of digital technolo- assumed to be essentially a of the artist must determine which take, plus the night’s free for members. gies has arguably been the most homogenising tool. This raises fur- method is best.

“BLINDINGLY GOOD”:THE ICARUS GIRL LITERATURE, PAGE 18 BEATS, SHOOTS AND LEAVES MUSIC, PAGE 19 HAS LOW-BUDGET CINEMA BECOME THE NEW BLACK? FILM, PAGE 21 STRICTLY COME DANCING THEATRE, PAGE 18 18 THEATRE January 28, 2005 www.varsity.co.uk isby r an G

unc All the pretty colours... D dances were grouped into blue, a short, sweet and slow piece of Colours’. The program is defi- Ang) with graceful transitions red, green and yellow. In the tap that had a relaxed, delicate nitely worth the 20p, as it of focus between the dancers, past the themes have had more feel. The red period began with described this gem as ‘Gentle good control and an excellent physical themes (such as ‘on ‘Coming through?’ (choreo- whispers of shy colours nor- choice of music. the edge’), which pushed the graphed by Lise Smith), which mally Slim Shaded from view, Finally, in the greens, choreography and gave the combined graceful, balletic hidden by the nougat branches ‘Anxiety’ stood out as athletic, whole show a stronger impact. movements with a track by the and pistachio leaves…’ sexy and frenetic. Dancers ‘Spectrum’ was perhaps too Chemical Brothers. The cho- Whatever my prejudices may throwing themselves around abstract and it failed to provide reography was interesting, have been however, I cannot each other’s waists really con- the show with a driving force. using balance and counter-bal- deny that TrubL Roc (the veyed that gut-crunching feel- For contrast, I chose as my ance in its exploration of con- choregrapher) and Ben ing of fear and anxiety. companion a complete philis- versation and miscommunica- Jammin’ had some pretty So, as ever, the contemporary tine who was lured to the ADC impressive moves. The red peri- dance show was a real lucky with the promise of ‘girls danc- Graceful transi- od ended with ‘Divine Power’ dip. You never know what you ing in pants’. The first two tions, good control (choreographed by Lois are going to get, but that is all Spectrum - Contemporary Dance Show pieces (lovely but slightly Morgan and Christie Scates). part of the fun. unimaginative choreography) and an excellent This gospel ensemble provided r Review by Allegra Galvin failed to deliver on this level choice of music light relief from some of the

ADC Theatre Wednesday 26 - 29, 10.30pm and he began to text ‘mate, am more serious, self-conscious hneide

in gay dance spectacle with tion. Then came ‘Heart Like a pieces and, apart from the Sc Before I begin, allow me to say choreography and innovative Allegra…’ Then CUCDC Rock Cast in the Sea’, danced depiction of the crucifixion, did ude that I love the contemporary routines you will come away made an honest woman of me and choreographed by Tanya convey the joy the programme dance show and would not more than satisfied, but you and offered us not only girls in Thompson. It had a stunning promised simply because Cla miss it for the world. I go every can also sit in the back row and pants, but girls pole dancing in opening sequence (pictured everyone looked like they were year and always enjoy myself, snicker at people struggling pants. This was undoubtedly right) and Tanya is a definite genuinely having fun. and how often can you guaran- into poses that really should the most upsetting part of the for ‘best in show’ for her many One dance truly stood out of tee yourself a good night out at remain in the bedroom, or oth- entire evening, ‘like watching a engaging and powerful per- the yellow period and, the theatre in Cambridge? The ers with that look of terror on car wreck,’ noted a nearby formances. although it was the only piece reason why this show never their face that says ‘I know I spectator. After re-emerging I had eagerly anticipated the in which none of the dancers really fails is that it is so varied, am supposed to be on stage but from under my programme next entry, which was billed as wore yellow, it conveyed the both in terms of content and I can’t remember what for.’ things picked up and the ‘Blue ‘Like A Rainbow’ and prom- mood better than any other. quality. So if you are an avid This year’s theme was an Interlude’ (choreographed and ised us Ben Jammin’ breaking ‘Muted Light’ was beautifully dancer and want to see new exploration of colour and the danced by Gemma Bridge) was to Cyndi Lauper’s ‘True choreographed (by Tzo Zen

What to watch... Andrew Pontzen founded Journey’s End self experienced and wanted ACTS and has been a publi- Review by Adam Shindler others to see. The dugout in cist for more than 25 shows Arts Theatre,Tuesday 25th - 29th, 7.30pm this production was candlelit, dim and depressing and the Andrew Pontzen has a message Last year Andrew founded the realities of the front line. Set in incessant gunfire thumping for all the wannabe techies out Association of Cambridge Written in 1929, R.C. Sherriff ’s the oppressive environment of from above ground never there who don’t have the courage Theatre Societies (ACTS), of Journey’s End takes the audience the Company Officers’ allowed the audience to forget to brave the code lock system of which the true gem is the website from their seats right to the dugout, the cast delivered an how close they were to the the ADC: we need you, we want at www.camdram.net. It’s simply Western Front in 1918. incredibly powerful portrayal front lines. you, and we have to have you. everything you ever needed to Set over a period of six days, of a band of men living close Sherriff ’s text requires My own humble advice is much know. The best way to find out the play begins as Lieutenant to the edge of sanity - held respect and understanding, the same: if you ever want to feel about the technical positions that Raleigh joins the army at back from the brink by noth- written not so much to enter- appreciated in the theatre world, are available is to sign up to the eighteen and finds himself ing more than a stiff upper lip tain as to inform and demon- forget acting. Don a boiler suit techies’ email list via the ADC posted to the company of and six bottles of whiskey. strate the futility of war. The (pink for girls), pick up a ham- website (www.cuadc.org). The Master and Captain Stanhope, who is As the gunshots and rifle sober message of the play was mer, brush or paint blaster and Finally, the ACTS committee Margarita, ADC, 1st - 5th barely three years Raleigh’s grenades flew overhead the underlined when, at the end of see the look of gratitude spread are looking for people to take Feb, 7.45pm senior and his idol from school. tension in the dugout was the production, the actors did across the faces of those around over next year. If you want to feel Amateur premiere of a new But Stanhope, promoted masterfully built up. Set and not take a bow but stood you. The sad truth is that there is like you have the Cambridge the- adaptation of Bulgakov’s beyond his abilities and years, sound are vital components in solemnly in military forma- a lack of technically able people atre world at your feet, this is the magic realist novel. 1930’s has changed since the sixth communicating the night- tion, helmets off, in front of a in Cambridge theatre and it is job for you. Or you could just Moscow, a playwright, the form, sculpted by the harsh mares that Sherriff had him- war memorial backdrop. vital that the skills are passed on. become a techie. Devil, black magic shows, socialist rationalism and Faustian bargains... just don’t Altogether the cast of Power stage, fails to provide any real sug- across how much fun it can be. expect anything in modera- Power delivers a set of effective and gestion of surroundings. This is Still, the actors do a good job of tion. Review by Lottie entertaining performances and disappointing, as the costumes sustaining interest throughout ADC,Wednesday 26 - 29 Jan, 7.30pm it’s a shame that they are let are truly stunning and the wigs the play, which if nothing else is down somewhat by the script. definitely full and flowing. This an unusual attempt to deal with a Poor Louis XIV began his reign well by that of his ridiculously There is something a little too combination of lavishness and non-contemporary subject. with issues, and it is the young queenish brother Phillippe, self-conscious about Nick Dear’s emptiness on stage does reflect Although we are talking about a king’s first tentative steps amusingly played by Wil James. writing, not helped by the inclu- the transience and superficiality young, male royal trying to find towards power that become the Alice Harper has confidence sion of phrases such as ‘think of of a life devoted to gaining power his way in the world. If only focus of Nick Dear’s historical and presence as Philippe’s bored this as a play,’ and ‘I’m still learn- and pleasure, but it doesn’t get there’d been a fancy dress scene. satire on the seventeenth centu- new wife Henrietta, who swiftly ing my lines’. The minor charac- ry. The emphasis of the play falls becomes Louis’ mistress, where- ters such as Phillippe and Queen upon the personal rather than as Laura Bates is suitably banal Anne have been constructed in a the political and charts Louis’ and sweet as the young servant fairly trite, two-dimensional gradual liberation from the girl with whom Louis eventual- manner, which leaves the actors apron strings of an icy, overbear- ly falls in love. The gentle rela- with little to do at times but pout ah Conneally ar ing mother to the steady shift in tionship with his servant reveals and strut. The dialogue is often S control between him and his a weaker more sensitive side to witty and enjoyably filthy but too The Black Saint and Sinner fabulously wealthy, wonderfully the king, which is touchingly easily strays into pretension, and Lady, Corpus Christi, 1st - 5th seedy superintendent Nicholas played out. the structure of the play, princi- Feb, 9.30pm Fouqet, all with a couple of scan- The real show-stealing per- pally short self-contained scenes, Billed as ‘a modern-day dalous courtly affairs thrown in formance comes from Edward can make the whole experience morality play which for good measure. Wilford as the aging hedonist seem a little contrived and stilt- explores the blurred lines Conrad Mason is impressive Nicholas Fouquet, taking a sav- ed. Nevertheless, the more between love, dependence as King Louis and manages to age pleasure from his role as the intense domestic segments are and psychotic attachment.’ transform convincingly during charismatic, over-sexed politit- played out in a very engaging Sounds like a Playroom the play from an anxious, naïve, ian. There is also a good rapport and believable manner, although show. Following the success and unconfident young man established between Fouquet a sense of the grander, political of Cross Road Blues at the into an avaricious, conceited and the antagonistic straight- and historical implications of life ADC in 2003, this is David figure of authority, all the while laced clerk Jean Baptiste at court is often lost. Hall's second play as maintaining an underlying Colbert, played with an enjoy- Similarly, a very sparse, almost writer/director. sense of childish petulance and able sense of slimy menace by bleak set, combined with a gener- insecurity. His character is offset Jonathan Beckman. al lack of bustle and action on www.varsity.co.uk January 28, 2005 MUSIC 19

NEW IN 2005 Beats, Shoots & Leaves #2 65 Days of Static Panda Bear on the bill showed, it can be cre- drum noises on his latest album and the remaining two, more same way as ‘Leaf House’ did on The Portland – 19 Jan ated, and profoundly, in a num- using only his mouth, and who travel-savvy members of his last year’s album. The only Review by Stuart Fox ber of unconventional ways. would have started proceedings band took to the stage to give a instrument played live was a Case in point is Ariel Pink, an off on Wednesday had he not performance of warped, maraca, and so backing com- Panda Bear: he can really do it to artist newly signed to the been deported two days earlier abrasive melodies, perhaps prised solely of tape loops and you. Even without the support Animal Collective’s Paw Tracks for failing to possess a work per- best evoked by the title of their beats from fissured recordings. of the rest of his animal friends, label, famous for creating all the mit. The show did go on though first album Haunted Graffiti. At times you sensed the echo of the New York-based musician Signer were next up, generating a familiar song which Panda was produced forty minutes of ineffa- ox drones familiar to fans of the reinterpreting and splicing with Strong as the desire may be ble musical spirit last Wednesday t F Kranky label, interlaced with the heavier, less organic beats, only to unleash rabid hounds on

at the Portland Arms. If you uar occasional slices of guitar and for it to be morphed in a new the purveyors of smug rants didn’t attend you were unfortu- St heavily reverbed, call-to-prayer absorbing direction on this mot- concerning the ‘tyranny of nate; it would have been worth style vocals and beats from the tled soundscape. genre’, the litany of bands melting down all those duo’s laptop. The set flowed through creat- laying claim to the label Libertines CDs to produce fake When these formidable ing moments of visceral happi- ‘post-rock’ suggests they currency just to get yourself in. support acts had finished, Panda ness tempered only by the bitter- may have a point. It’s Apologies; it’s easy to get car- Bear set up unassumingly, sweetness that characterises the refreshing, then, to see that ried away when considering what flanked by the two members of music of Panda Bear and his 65 Days of Static truly Panda’s capable of doing. For the Ariel Pink’s band who had chums at its best. After forty smash boundaries rather uninitiated, he makes up one already performed. Famous for minutes everything was over and than simply playing long, quarter of the Animal Collective, his frenzied live performances the room felt newly hollow as boring songs with reverb responsible for 2004’s shamboli- with the Animal Collective, the boys began packing up. and no structure. Their aes- cally tender Sung Tongs, and most Panda was perhaps more Panda spoke happily to anybody thetic centres not on recently a solo effort titled Young restrained with this solo materi- who approached as he struggled Shoreditch danceability, but Prayer, written as an elegy on his al, even taking time between with a tangle of wires, patiently on the creation of a distinc- dad’s death. On that record movements to quietly thank the answering questions. tive, foreboding sonic Panda yelped to his father that crowd for their appreciation. Introducing himself using his atmosphere. Debut LP The ‘this is how you will know me’, As ever, he didn’t play any- real name, Noah, he talked Fall of Math sees electronic underlining a belief in the poten- thing previously committed to humbly about his own music beats mix with distorted cy of his music to communicate record, instead performing a set explaining he never listened to guitar and fractured sam- with others. of longer, looser pieces that his albums once they were ples. Gloomy experimenta- These were, however, some of filled the small back room of the recorded and in general listened tion links hands with pop few scattered lyrics that were Portland Arms with a sound very little to other people’s sensibilities, and the results intelligible on the record; there’s closer to Sung Tong’s more music. He responded to any have garnered comparisons never a lyrics sheet, and judged kinetic, sprawling moments. praise with a demure and lan- with My Bloody Valentine against Brian Wilson’s Smile – in Swirls of vocal sounds emanated guid ‘sweet man, thanks’: a and Explosions in the Sky. an oft-made comparison – Panda from the three performers on peaceful and laconic response Ear-shatteringly intense Bear’s music is at best ‘deeply stage who ceaselessly fiddled which made you even more curi- live, their UK tour begins at fractured’. So how does it gener- with the processors in front of ous to get to the bottom of this the end of this month. ate such strong feeling? A pretty them, playing off each others enigmatic, affecting artist. Was Yaqoob hard question to answer, but, as voices and swelling the sound www.65daysofstatic.com all the musicians who appeared Noah Lennox: 80s ‘Silver Fox’ tees are the new army blazers further and further in much the www.paw-tracks.com

eek Stellar Cellars Hip-Hop @ Clare was gently heaving by the time Inja joined DJ Kayper on the Clare Cellars - 21 Jan the ever reliable DJ Kayper took stage. Inja, like Kayper, is a Review by David King to the decks. As usual she stalwart of the Cambridge scene, proceeded to rip the place up memorably rescuing the DJ Ents at Clare Cellars returned with her mixture of funky upbeat competition last term with some

lbum of the w this past Friday, bringing back tunes and classic hip hop beats. impressive free-styling whilst

A the live hip-hop and beats on Never straying into the murky technical faults were fixed. Again which they have built their waters of commercial chart he brought his vibrant, high Lemon Jelly Athlete ...The Trail of Dead deservedly fine reputation. The releases, she managed to keep the energy performance and cranked ’64-’95 Tourist Worlds Apart Cellars are just the right location dance floor packed and the up the mood further. With a for this sort of event. Their low energy levels high, while polished flow and decent lyrics, Lemon Jelly’s cultish fanbase is 2003's Vehicles and Animals estab- Trail of Dead’s sound has ceilings and side seating give delighting the crowd with some Inja looks set for greater built on their live performances lished London brit-rockers developed in ways that surpris- the place an intimate, quirky mixes and dextrous recognition, and it was no and two previous LPs, the most Athlete as the cheeky cockney ingly, haven’t led to guitars atmospheric vibe, enhanced by scratching. Her one-woman mis- surprise to see him advertising his recent of which, Lost Horizons, spivs du jour. On Tourist they being smashed against walls, the pungent aroma of a good sion to bring classics such as new CD. On the strength of this brought them to a wider have wisely decided to consoli- louder. But rather than aban- time and the seemingly much Arrested Development back into performance the album will be a audience. It was a gorgeous date their reputation by becom- doning their uncanny ability to improved sound system. the club scene continues with welcome addition to the growing album, innovative and guaran- ing this year's Snow Patrol. wrench drama from furious gui- In short, this is what a student success. I for one can’t get enough UK hip-hop genre. A successful teed to put a smile on your face. Literally. Opening track tar attacks, they have created a night should be – dark, grimy, of Everyday People. With the night overall in the cellars. This latest offering has devel- ‘Changes’ takes the quiet/epically strange synthesis of the raging loud, bass-heavy music, and of cellars vibrating and the crowd oped their sound further, while loud dynamic of the Scots band's vitriol of old and an expansion course, underground. The place suitably expectant, the local MC www.clare-ents.com retaining the plucked guitars, ‘Run’, whilst singer Joel Pott of the muted theatricality and amusing samples and applies himself with some sub- buried in their last LP. al r head-bopping drum-loops that Chris Martin vocal affectations. While the grandiose string or define their sound. There is a Way to give the game away, guys. arrangements and harmonious W darker feel to this album in The album suffers from the female backing vocals exhibited places, such as ‘The Shouty customary indieboy misappre- on tracks such as ‘All White’, Track’. Yet equally, there are hensions, like the use of the may lead to suicides amongst Malika other surprising influences at word 'soul' in a song calling for some of their more traditional work, and on the R’n’B flecked a gospel choir to back it up, as in fans, the customary coruscating ‘Make Things Right’. ‘If I Found Out’. Even if ‘Wires’ guitar attack of ‘Will You Smile This album is definitely a is an affecting ballad, without Again For Me’ should stop oth- grower, and should please fans as knowledge of its powerful con- ers from deconstructing their well as anyone interested in text it resembles a plot synopsis instruments in anger at such something full of intriguing for ER. But unfortunately, treason. And perhaps rightly so contradictions. Upbeat and Tourist sees Athlete fail to really – this is a striking evolution. dancey but chilled and relaxing, spill their guts. But regrettably, it also dilutes subtle and clever yet simple Krzysztof Honowski the operatic fury that made the enough to leave you grinning. band so special. David King -See the Varsity website for last Was Yaqoob week’s interview with Athlete.

’64-’95 is released on January Tourist is released on January Worlds Apart is released on 31st through Impotent Fury 31st through Parlophone. January 31st through Polydor MC Inja gives the mic all of his loving at Clare Cellars 20 LITERATURE January 28, 2005 www.varsity.co.uk ‘A small girl plagued by a beautiful demon’ Rupert Myers revels in a world of mysticism and fear in Helen Oyeyemi’s debut novel

ost Cambridge stu- Oyeyemi is no Zadie Smith, wonderful person. It’s hard to It is astonishing to think that ve dents have felt the but she is a young and poten- believe that someone with a Jessamy Harrison was created hi rc weight of expectation tially very successful female book deal, whose face graces by an eighteen year old. This is M y A bearing down on them, but few writer. You would be forgiven covers, whose name is seen in either a story so rich and vivid can know what life must be like for reading The Times, The print next to literary greats, that it ought to have been writ- arsit for Helen Oyeyemi, the second Telegraph and the host of other could be Helen Oyeyemi. ten by someone of Jessamy’s V year Corpus student whose novel Perhaps it could not have hap- (much younger) age, or by an The Icarus Girl is released this Rarely has a book pened like that to anyone else, adult with the wisdom and month, after over a year of pub- but somehow it has not experience to recreate it. What licity and speculation surround- felt so alive and changed her. Oyeyemi has managed to craft ing the young author. Many will Has it changed the writing? is a story which is so believable draw comparisons with other trusting as The Is The Icarus Girl a tour de that it interweaves itself with young Cambridge authors like Icarus Girl force of student intellectualism the childhood memories of the Zadie Smith or famous and ambitious failure? Is it a reader, ringing clear and true. Bloomsbury titans such as J K publications for which she has philosophical treatise of epic Rarely has a book felt so Rowling. Some will be adding done photo shoots and suspect proportions? No. In avoiding alive and trusting as The Icarus Helen’s name to a long list of that this would be enough to flourishes of complexity, in Girl. It is as if Jessamy Cambridge writers who have engender arrogance in the retaining a purity of expres- Harrison has snuck her small graced this city and gone on to young writer. You would be sion, this book actually man- hand inside yours as a child glorious careers. More still may forgiven for thinking that her ages the paradoxical: it lends does, and is leading you be ready to sharpen the knives on appearance on the television, the writing an honesty, a through the story. The inti- what they may well see as the in the media, and at book sign- resounding truthfulness, that product of marketing and spin. It ings could swell any head. belies the age of the author. At is my instinct that it is the latter You’d be forgiven for all that, the same time, it is difficult to Oyeyemi has craft- group who will be proved wrong. but you’d be wrong. She is a concisely explain what the book is about. ed a story which is The Icarus Girl is the tale rich and believable Literary events of one small girl and her dan- gerous imagination, a child Another great opportunity to see leading experimental poets plagued by a beautiful demon mate tale which Helen weaves currently writing in the UK and America reading their work which sucks the life from her. is full of luxuriously generous every week this term: The story charts the exciting characterisation, subtle life of Jessamy Harrison, who thought, and bright imagery. January 31st, 8.00pm goes back to Nigeria to meet There are unforgettable char- Judith E. Wilson Drama Studio, English Faculty her mother’s family, and finds acters and delicious moments Stephen Rodefer: American poet who employs techniques of much more than she had of comedy, like Jessamy’s first deliberate decomposition and formalism. anticipated. The young girl, meeting with her grandfather. Geraldine Monk: English poet and performance artist who enjoys nothing more A difficult book in some Lisa Jarnot: American poet, actively involved in The Poetry than re-writing the endings to ways, it certainly deals with Project and strongly associated with the American feminist novels and cuts through situa- complex themes more at movement. tions with a child’s clarity, home in Fight Club , but told Helen Oyeyemi: defying expectations of cynics and critics alike finds in Nigeria the most dan- here in a style resonant of To February 3rd, 6.30pm gerous and complex manifes- Kill A Mockingbird. Yet saying Despite being well-crafted, it scenes are alive with texture, Heffers Bookshop, 20 Trinity Street tation of her own imagina- this, it is not an instant clas- certainly isn’t best suited to the and her ideas sparkle off the Richard Mabey will give a talk about his new book Nature tion; another girl named sic. It lacks the universality of twenty-something demographic. page. As a first novel it is blind- Cure. Tilly-Tilly with whom more timeless works, and the I imagine that The Icarus Girl will ingly good, and leaves this read- NB This is a ticketed event only. Tickets are free and can be Jessamy unravels a world of ending is troublingly ambigu- be taken up most by parents and er thirsty for the author’s next obtained from the Basement Information Desk or by tele- mysticism and fear. It cap- ous; I did not like it until I by intelligent young teenagers. manifestation of her dangerous phoning 01223 568545. tures the spirit of youth, and found out what it meant. It is not by luck alone Helen and complex imagination. the atmosphere of the fantas- Something that does not sit is a published author. The Icarus If you wish to see an event you are involved in advertised tical, but never resonates for comfortably, writing this review Girl is certainly worthy of the The Icarus Girl , published by here, email [email protected] long on the supernatural level for a student paper, is that it isn’t praise it has received. Bloomsbury, is available now in which it creates. really a novel for students. Oyeyemi’s dialogue is crisp, her hardback, priced £16.99 Varsity recommends

Reading Lolita in ous, and afraid. However, despite this, she never seems to Tehran: A Memoir feel that by teaching the English and American classics in Books while her country is in the grips of violence and authoritarian- by Azar Nafisi ism that she is blithely ignoring reality, indulging in private Lindsey Smith amusement while the world outside crumbles. All through Azar Nafisi’s And indeed, her ‘memoir in account of her time as a pro- books’ makes a powerful case fessor of English literature in that she never was. For Iran, I kept expecting to find Nafisi, great literature, even myself reading a particular (or perhaps especially) litera- phrase: “fiddling while Rome ture that seems an immense burned.” It never came up. distance from the direct con- Not in her descriptions of her cerns of contemporary Iran - days as a student revolution- Austen, James, Fitzgerald, ary; nor in her experiences Nabokov - is always immedi- teaching at three Tehran uni- ate. These novels, for her, are versities and ultimately find- about expressions of empathy, ing each more interested in democracy, and resisting propaganda than scholarship; oppression. At the same time, nor during the seemingly Nafisi’s book is the opposite interminable Iran-Iraq war; of dogmatic, either on the LAUNCH PARTY MICHAELHOUSE CENTRE MONDAY 31ST JANUARY nor in her eventual, anguished subject of literature or when decision to leave for the venturing onto politics. Her 8.30 TILL 10.30. United States. memoir, like her reading of Nafisi writes of feeling “irrel- the works which she loves, is evant”, stymied, helpless, furi- intensely human. 21 FILM January 28, 2005 www.varsity.co.uk

adult exploration of sexual without intimacy (those land- .net impotence, infidelity and rela- scape similes are just so handy), e tionship chaos. It was the year and call it edgy. As everyone Declaration of imag in which Sundance proved clamours to declare their inde- itself right. But the film pendence, all we get is a sweep- marked a worrying turning ing epic accredited with off- point in the evolution of inde- centre melancholy, a barrage of independence pendent film; feverishly pseudo-philosophical insights reviewed by critics, Sex, Lies into the human condition, and a and Videotape blew apart the glorified blue movie. But it’s image of independent cinema. OK, it was all digitally shot. With indie cinema hitting What was once minority recognition was now the atten- Now filmmakers can tion - and acclaim - of the shove a fornicating the mainstream, Emma masses; independents were now courted by the major studios; model in our faces, and and suddenly it was cool to be call it edgy Paterson asks: is low- unpopular. Soderberg’s film put Sundance and the independent The term ‘independent’ rests sector on the map, creating abused and confused, standing budget the new black? thoroughly deserved wider on its last, very mainstream leg. interest in the visions of direc- Sundance has become a pseudo- his week the annual makings of a second Woody tors such as Todd Haynes and nym for Hollywood, and a three .net Sundance Film Festival Allen. Blasphemy, I say (and Spike Lee. What it also did, syllable word is now a mark of e sets out to honour the bullshit). If an absurd and nau- however, was lure in talentless ‘challenging’ film. Don’t get me T imag artistic highlights of the now seating Zach Braff discovering imposters like Braff and let wrong: unlike those raging left- elusive umbrella term ‘inde- the parallel between his existen- them run wild, birthing some- ies, I like mainstream cinema. pendent cinema’ as it has since tial void and a chasm in the thing ‘beautiful’. Soon began The English Patient is, in fact, 1981. Last year, the most earth to a soundtrack of the tragic slips into the inde- one of my favourite films, and notable of the winners was Coldplay and Travis is touted as pendent net; in 1997, The recent pictures, from Closer to Garden State, first time film- independent, the term has sim- English Patient was ‘dark’; in The Incredibles, have demonstrat- maker Zach Braff ’s exploration ply lost its meaning. ed that glossy, commercial cine- of twenty-something self-dis- But what exactly does ‘inde- “It’s a film by people ma can be both rigorously intel- covery. Asked to comment on pendent cinema’ mean? It’s tra- ligent and hugely entertaining. the piece, Natalie Portman, its ditionally seen as a stylistic, who just want to make It’s when it tries to pose as its female protagonist, remarked, thematic and economic depar- something beautiful” antithesis that I get a little ‘It’s a film by people who just ture from mainstream film. It’s moody. At the risk of sounding want to make something differ- experimental, innovative and 2004, Garden State appropriated like a fashion snob, and to use a ent - something beautiful,’ distinctive. It’s often hugely the geological analogy and ridiculous little analogy of my making her ever so poignant self-important, but then the passed it off as intelligence; and own, it’s a bit like wearing a pair claim to high, non-commercial highest art usually is. Steven next month, in 9 Songs Michael of cowboy boots from Faith and art. Yet the critics agreed with Soderberg defined it best in Winterbottom will shove a for- pretending that you’re doing vin- her. The film was a low-budget 1989 with his debut Sex, Lies nicating model in our faces, tage; it’s not big, it’s not clever, masterpiece, we were told; the and Videotape, an intelligent, compare the Antarctic to sex and it’s just not independent.

The Ice Storm minutes to name drop the tree- Allen), is about to embark top scene in Crouching Tiger, upon a dangerous reawakening Review by Emma Hidden Dragon, and display of her youth; and their teenage A place in the sun Paterson their exhaustive knowledge of daughter, Wendy (Christina South-East Asian cinema. But Ricci), is blindly exploring a In 2000, the tagline of American before Lee made his main- burgeoning sexuality with the Varsity casts a little limelight on the Beauty told us to ‘look closer’. stream, dinner party littered neighbour’s sons. Then an ice And millions did. After all, with name, it was a low budget piece storm hits, and the broken the what-lies-beneath-the- exploring the slow and tragic bonds beneath a suburban underrated and underappreciated white-picket-fence-factor; a disintegration of the family unit veneer rise to the surface. poeticised plastic bag; and Kevin that marked his artistic peak. It’s a beautiful film; delicate- Rocky Despite the fact that Rocky the film avoids crossing the line Spacey doing droll, why not? Yet The Ice Storm, set in the ly written, expertly acted, garnered three Oscars in 1976, into sentimentality by denying when Ang Lee took us into the 1970s, is the story of two fam- hauntingly scored. Kline, as the Review by Ben Sillis including Best Picture and Best Rocky the victory for which he heart of familial dysfunction and ilies falling apart against a awkward, bumbling adulterer, Sylvester Stallone has made Director for John G. Avildsen, strives. Stallone himself wrote suburban sterility with more back-drop of Watergate, is miraculous, inserting into some awful films in his time. the film seems to have fallen the script, selling it for little than a hint of wit three years Vietnam and the sexual revolu- moments of understated come- The remake of Get Carter from grace over the decades. I money with the proviso that he earlier in The Ice Storm, people tion. As boundaries are pushed dy, shades of dark melancholy springs to mind amongst other suspect this is largely due to the played the lead. barely gave the film a second by political deceit, social chaos and loss. And unlike its succes- disposable drivel - an unneces- slew of sequels (not that I can And think of what it has glance. Of course, it won the and sexual betrayal, time-hon- sor, American Beauty, as it sary disembowelment of a veri- comprehend the scorn poured given cinema; the training Best Screenplay award at oured institutions are slowly explores the coldness at the table classic. on these either; anything which montage with obligatory cheesy Cannes, but critical acclaim is but surely eroded, and it’s the centre of human relationships, Indeed, he holds the record for involves Mr T is good in my power ballad – you know you the recognition of only an elite 2.4 framework that is next to it shows, but never tells. There the most Razzie nominations, a mind) and the countless zero- enjoy them – and the boxing few, and The Ice Storm has always go. Ben Hood (Kevin Kline) is are no grand, storming existen- parody of the Oscars, which to-hero parodies that have fol- scenes which are actually enjoy- deseved so much more than that. in the middle of an affair with tial symbols here - cue floating honours the worst films of the lowed in its wake. able to watch (forget Raging When you mention Ang his neighbour, Janey plastic bag - only a gentle year. In 2000, he was crowned These mock the absurd sim- Bull, this is what we wish box- Lee’s name nowadays, people’s (Sigourney Weaver); his disil- shower of suggestions that with Razzie’s Worst Actor of plicity of its plot; smalltime ing could be like). ears prick up - they’ve got five lusioned wife, Elena ( Joan really say it all. the Century award. But then boxer is given a shot at the No film creates empathy with what would you expect from a world title, whilst simultane- the protagonist as effectively as .net former porn actor? Well, that’s ously falling in love with a Rocky, and it’s all down to the e the general consensus of every- beautiful but introverted sheer straightforwardness of it one who cruelly ignores and woman. Yet this simplicity is all. It’s so simple, it’s a wonder imag underrates Rocky. intrinsic to Rocky’s charm, and no-one had made it before. Talkies - Cambridge students have their say

Mungo Woodifield, Gonville & Caius: Javier Bardem, in Before Night Falls and The Dancer Upstairs is hugely underrated. He has the power of a bull with the touch of a midwife.

Anna Stuart, King’s: Ulee’s Gold. Peter Fonda acts with the same understated brilliance that made Easy Rider great.

Jamie Corby, Gonville & Caius: The Shadow has to be the most underrated film of all time - an invisible Alec Baldwin fighting Genghis Khan just can’t be missed.

Zoe Ross, Fitzwilliam: Something’s Gotta Give. Jack Nicholson’s mesmerising curves and Diane Keaton’s ephemeral wisdom make for a film of bitter genius. Christina Ricci and Elijah Wood get caught in a tempest of sexual awakening 22 SPORT January 28, 2005 www.varsity.co.uk Past-masters Can Chelsea be derailed?

Tom Burrell nity to see an individual run at minded players may replace that their players are so infre- such speed, yet with the ball defenders. The only reason quently injured’ retort. But whilst defeat Blues under such control. Henry runs Mourinho can afford to have Frank Lampard does miraculous- ore and more column very quickly with the ball at his such a defensive team is because ly well to avoid injuries and cards inches are devoted each feet, but doesn’t have it under his first-choice attackers are so in the heat of the midfield battle, Mweek to so-called the control in the way Stanley unstoppable. Terry missed 5 matches last sea- experts prophesising an inevitable Matthews did - but he ran at a And this eventuality is not son and 18 the year before. Yes, ‘blip’ in the machine that has snail’s pace. Arjen Robben is the unlikely. Robben has proved to be Chelsea can replace Terry better been Chelsea football club, but synthesis of their strengths, a more than susceptible to injuries than Arsenal can Campbell, but they have been as accurate as a raging and roaring yet perfectly over the past few years, managing the point is that both defensively Julia Rennie government WMD Iraq dossier. controlled fireball. no more than 33 games in any and in leadership, Terry is irre- So what has been the explanation The introduction of this one season, and 23 last season. placeable, and an injury to him of the Chelsea charge this year, attacking demi-god ironically also Chelsea’s reliance on him will would require Gallas and which allowed them to create a allowed Chelsea to become the probably require him to play Carvalho to quickly forge a ten point wedge between them most defensively solid team since around 50 this time. defensive alliance as impenetrable and Arsenal? And in answering George Graham’s Arsenal side of The second reason why as when either plays beside Terry. this, can we find the key which Chelsea have surpassed Arsenal If Terry can re-discover his injury might unlock the answer to Robben is a raging, this season is the stability of the form of the previous seasons, Chelsea’s phenomenal form? roaring yet perfectly spine of their team. Alf Ramsey then perhaps Chelsea will sink to Chelsea fans should mark the once remarked that if Bobby more familiar territory. date October 23rd in their diary. controlled fireball Moore and Bobby Charlton And although Henry has been 7 points behind unbeatable, played, victory was more than practically ever-present, especial- Captain Pinner mastering his boat in valiant Final defeat unstoppable, unfathomable 1991. With Robben supported by likely; ditto Sol Campbell and ly when compared with Drogba, Julia Rennie conditions culminated in realisa- Arsenal, they had accumulated a two other attacking thorough- Patrick Vieira, and likewise John statistics again show us that the tion of the old adage that ‘one respectable 20 points and 9 goals breds, Duff and Drogba, and Terry and Frank Lampard. The defensive and midfield fulcrum is must respect one’s elders’: from their 9 matches. This works Frank Lampard adding numerous Chelsea pair have collectively much more important for picking THE CAMBRIDGE side of despite a valiant showing by out at 2.2 points and 1 goal per goals from midfield, Mourinho is averaged 89.85 minutes in the 24 up results. Currently Van 2000 sailed to victory in the Captain Jon Pinner and his game. In the fifteen games that able to add 6 strong defensive Premiership games they have Nistelrooy’s abence is not hurting Cam Cup, defeating their suc- compadres, Cambridge 2000 have elapsed since, they have players to the best goalkeeper in played, while the Arsenal duo Manchester United, whilst cessors, the current Cambridge claimed a 2-1 victory in the amassed 42 points and 40 goals, a England, Peter Cech. have mustered an average of just Ferdinand’s and Keane’s did. side, in a fiercely-fought final. final. Pinner was magnamous in phenomenal 2.8 points and 2.7 How does this possibly provide 59 minutes in the same number. This analysis demonstrates the Powering past Bristol II and defeat and cited Rob Styles as goals per game. The one variable the basis for why Chelsea might This statistic should not be importance of Robben and Terry, Oxford I, Cambridge’s good the star of the show. in these periods, Arjen Robben. veer off course? Simply take underestimated, particularly and a previous predisposition to form would have buoyed them This tournament display will Robben could easily become Arjen Robben out, or to a lesser when one considers that if Sol injury. While Chelsea have with confidence to take on have further reinforced the cre- the best in the world, possessing extent Damien Duff: Chelsea’s Campbell is fit to play, Arsenal strength in depth, they cannot favourites, the millennium dentials of the Blues ahead of the every attribute the modern for- incredible 3 pronged attack pick up an average of 2.54 replace the irreplacable. Cambridge team, who cruised Varsity match, and shows that ward requires. The pace of a would be significantly weakened points, compared to the 1.91 This does not suggest a blip is past an Oxford Old Boys side. they have the potential to emu- gazelle, the strength of a tiger, and the goals would begin to dry when he does not. inevitable, but if Terry or Robben Gybing battles, perfect boat late their victors Cambridge 2000 the balance of a gymnast, aware- up. Mourinho would then be The more argumentative of swap the pitch for the sidelines, control and beautifully executed and win the British Team Racing ness and vision of a deity. Very forced to look for a new attacking you are already building the ‘it’s the Chelsea charge may well suf- manoeuvres in the testing windy Championship this Easter. rarely is one given the opportu- solution, and more attacking- another of Chelsea’s strengths fer a derailment.

Careers Service Cambridge’s annual information evening for JOURNALISM, BROADCASTING, MEDIA MANAGEMENT, FILM, PUBLISHING & SCIENCE COMMUNICATION ... a unique opportunity – don’t miss it WORKING IN THE MEDIA Thursday 3 February 2005 6.00 - 9.00pm (doors open 5.30pm) Exam Halls, New Museums Site (Downing Street entrance)

WITH OVER 50 GRADUATES IN MEDIA JOBS TO MEET AND TALKS ON WORKING IN Journalism • Book Publishing • Magazines Television & Radio Production • the Film Industry full details on www.careers.cam.ac.uk SPORT www.varsity.co.uk January 28, 2005 23 Blues survive comeback scare to win

with Cambridge pinned back. Durham’s determination to Rugby Union However, Durham, while haul back the Cambridge lead enjoying a brief period of ter- tempted them into an ambi- CAMBRIDGE 34 w Sims e ritorial supremacy, found any tious kick at goal a few min-

ndr advantage undermined by a utes later. It drifted wide, but

DURHAM 26 A retreating scrum. The two as Durham held out against Cambridge props of Cure and the Cambridge attack - which Mike Henson Kirkman - both previous may have been hampered incumbents of the opposi- rather than helped by some of tions’ violet shirts - piled on the forwards’ pretensions to TRADITION DICTATES the pressure on their succes- back play - the prospect of that it is the team that repre- sors. But the loss in this par- them getting back into the sented the University in the ticularly unglamorous posi- game grew. And with 9 min- Varsity match that does so tional battle seemed to matter utes remaining, it came to again on their return to little to the pocket of Durham fruition. Durham full-back Grange Road in the New support in the far stand. The Smith broke clean through the Year. This time, unfortunately, sight of their team flying at a defensive line before throwing they weren’t toasting victory strong Cambridge defence a long pass out to Ed Davies with champagne but an end- close to the line was the signal in support. The try was con- of-term sense of enjoyment to raise their support yet verted and, with Cambridge was still reflected in the rugby. another couple of octaves. just three points to the good, a All except one member of Yet it actually took a tense last few minutes was the starting line-up from Cambridge attack to create seemingly on the cards. Twickenham made it back for the opening for Durham. In the end, though, it was the visit of last year’s BUSA Alberts gave a little show of all a bit of an anti-climax. The champions. Nic Alberts, the ball inside the 22 and, Cambridge team, despite a thankfully recovered from unsurprisingly, the Durham host of substitutions, showed being knocked out by an defensive line were all too that they still had that extra Oxford knee in that game, took The Blues snuff out another Durham attack and hold on for victory happy to make their excuses gear to move into whenever the precaution of warming the lowed around the pitch, the Cooper. The flanker’s power- tries in quick succession to add and let him by. The South Durham got within touching bench for the first half as he pattern of Cambridge play ful run through some suspect to his growing account. African powered up towards distance of their try-line. In struggled with a minor knock. allowed the opposition back tackling was the highlight of a The 29-12 scoreline could the Durham half, but as he fact, instead of hanging on, It was his replacement into the game. Second-row fine personal performance. have been even more tried to spread the ball it went the Blues quashed hopes of a James Taylor, a cornerstone of Mitchell galloped forward It took 29 minutes for favourable to the light blues to the floor. Seizing the spectacular second period the victorious Varsity U21s and finally found an overlap Cambridge to put some light by then but for the sterling opportunity, Jones raced back comeback by registering their team, who opened the scoring for Durham to score. The blue water between themselves defence of Huw Jones. Abiola, through a Cambridge line first score of the half. Huw after just a minute. conversion was stroked over and the opposition, and the who might have been expect- thrown into disarray by the Williams, one of those second Taking such an early lead and Cambridge found them- half-time cushion was provid- ed to profit most from the pursuit of Alberts and a quick half introductions, brushed would have eased the Blues’ selves down seven points. ed by the suddenly prolific expansive game, found him as turnover. Touching down off some tired Durham nerves, had they had any. As it A try from Toy and a penal- Gladstone. The hooker - who difficult to shake off as his under the posts brought this defenders to go over and was, despite the instructions ty from Lewis were quickly also crossed the line in the team were to prove. dogged side back to within secure the victory. not to relax that were bel- equalled by a score from Dan Varsity match - scored two The second half opened ten points of the Blues. Men’s College Rugby League Sport In Division 1 Oxford edge tie Brief Place Team Pl W D L F A PD Pts Ladies’ Hockey The versatility of the Light Blues’ squad 1 St. John’s 8 7 0 1 297 42 255 29 has been particularly evident this season CAMBRIDGE 1 and yet again they started the second peri- BOXING 2 Jesus 9 6 0 3 177 106 71 27 od with an almost entirely different line The Cambridge Amateur OXFORD 2 up. Nevertheless they started to capitalise Boxing Club will be hosting 3 Downing 8 6 0 2 162 91 71 26 on some sloppy Oxford play as the oppo- its first fights in Cambridge Rachel Wheeler sition began to fatigue. In doing so, how- this year in conjuction with 4 Girton 8 4 0 4 98 139 -41 19 ever, their constant pressure for an equalis- the Union. The fights will be er left them overstretched and their goal followed by an Ent and entry 5 St. Catharine’s 7 1 0 6 53 188 -135 10 WITH LESS than 5 weeks until the uncharacteristically open. will cost £10. Varsity Match at Southgate Hockey Club, Rather than letting their heads drop 6 Trinity Hall 8 0 0 8 44 265 -221 8 North London, it was always going to be a Cambridge instantly took on a more aggres- RUGBY LEAGUE www.crazyaboutsport.com tense game as the Blues lined up against sive stance and within 10 minutes we con- Cambridge won their pre- their oldest enemy. With the away defeat verted our first short corner of the match, season tour match against Results: Jesus 5 - 20 St. John’s; Trinity Hall 10 - 22 Girton of last November still in the back of their courtesy of a clinical Helen Wheeler strike. Avignon 32-26 after a late try minds, the Light Blues had something of a With several further short corners awarded sealed the deadlock. point to prove on their home turf, and they to the home team there could have easily Cambridge now face Wigan Men’s College Football League did not disappoint. been a last minute equaliser, but as the clock Warriors Academy on However, despite the majority of the pos- ran down it became clear that it wasn’t to be. Saturday. Division 1 session the Light Blues were not able to All in all, a competitive game kept both build any territorial advantage and faced an players and supporters entertained through- ROWING Place Team Pl W D L F A GD Pts incessant barrage of Oxford short corners. out, and Oxford may feel a little lucky to The Cambridge Head to Exemplary in goal as ever, Charmaine Chua come away with the win. Had Cambridge Head saw Jesus take the vic- 1 Fitzwilliam 5 5 0 0 23 5 18 15 produced some fantastic saves to keep the taken advantage of their dominance early on tory from Downing by one Light Blues in the game as they went into if could have been a very different score line, second, bouncing back from 2 Jesus 6 4 1 1 14 6 8 13 the half-time break 1-0 down. although it is one they will hope to reverse. their narrow defeat in Fairbairn’s. Caius were six 3 Trinity 5 4 0 1 11 7 4 12 seconds back in third. In the women's division Newnham 4 St. John’s 6 3 1 2 12 7 5 10 were winners two seconds ahead of Pembroke, with 5 Churchill 6 3 1 2 8 10 -2 10 third place going to Trinity Hall. 6 St.Catherine’s 6 2 0 4 6 12 -6 6 AND FINALLY... 7 Darwin 5 1 2 2 9 7 2 5 CORRECTION Varsity would like to apolo- 8 Caius 6 1 1 4 6 16 -10 4 gise for naming McEwen as the winning try scorer for 9 Downing 5 1 0 4 8 13 -5 3 Cambridge. He converted the try which was in fact scored 10 Girton 6 1 0 5 6 20 -14 3 by Kendall.

Results: Jesus 1 - 0 Caius; St.Catz 2 - 1 St.John’s; Churchill 4- 0 Girton Chua in goal made some great saves Courtesy of CUHC January 28, 2005 SPORT Blues beat Durham despite late scare After losing the Varsity match, Cambridge respond with good win combe ew

St John’s all x N le A but clinch title after easy victory Adam Edelshain only other mistake which cost them the points as Thompson ST JOHN’S effectively sealed scored his 9th Try of the sea- their first place in the college son, goading the Jesus back- rugby leagues after beating line as he skipped through to Jesus 20–5. Though they still go beneath the posts. A con- have two games to play, John’s version later and the game was could field a reserve team and over as a contest. still beat Trinity Hall next The second half was played week. Furthermore, their entirely in the middle third of point difference, which has the pitch. Though John’s now increased to over 250 looked the more potent, there points, means that even defeat was no urgency in their play by Girton would not be and strong Jesus tackling kept enough of a chance for a them at bay. Yet, Jesus very St John’s break up another Jesus attack. A first half lead gave St John’s the advantage and Jesus struggled to get back into the game hopeful Downing side. rarely got the ball wide and That aside, it was a far from mistakes continued to cost fluent performance by John’s them possession on a regular and the team will certainly basis. feel relieved that Jesus were With about 10 minutes to Lincoln edge out Blues far from their best. The game go, Jesus finally succeeded in was scrappy and apart from getting the ball wide and two fantastic solo tries from Ridgeway went over the line Uni Football arrived full of confidence. who produced another stunning The Blues scrapped for victory, Murray and Thompson, both after bursting through a LINCOLN 1 This spirit was a bulwark moment of madness, felling nullifying Lincoln’s set-piece dan- sides did little to deserve the stretched John’s defence. It against the large partisan crowd Payne inside the area. Another ger and breaking forward at a large audience that this fixture could have been a slightly CAMBRIDGE 0 who gathered to cheer Lincoln, or communal groan, but if Bramley’s pace. This pace largely belonged draws each year. In fact, it was more interesting last ten min- rather, to rant at Cambridge. The was the moment of madness, then to Adams; he chased Mugan’s ball an impressive show of loyalty utes had John Hopkins con- crowd though, had little to say the referee can only have been to go clear on Bramley, whose legs that the crowd stayed out for verted the 25 yard kick, but at Axman Luge early on, as the Blues began at a looking at the Lincoln netball (which should have been in the 80 minutes, especially given 14 – 5, John’s were at least two pace, pressing their opponents team who had arrived to join the shower) denied the Johnian the the freezing cold conditions. scores ahead. WITH PREMIERSHIP man- across the pitch and exchanging spectators. No penalty and the chance to score. At least the home support John’s picked up their game agers complaining regularly of quality passes to feet. first in a series of bruising knocks More pressure from were given a small opportuni- a little to see out the match sub-standard referees, the sympa- Indeed, the first utterance by for the New Zealander. Cambridge saw Hughes, Payne ty to cheer as Dan Ridgway and two late penalties were thetic fan might suggest there the home supporters was a unan- Yet this was not one way traf- and Adams force saves, before the crashed over the line to give both converted by Ben Smith. must be better officials around imous groan as Mikey Adams fic, and though the Cambridge unthinkable happened. The solid some consolation points for At the final whistle, any hopes England somewhere. However, went through on goal, only to be back four stood firm, they could Blues defence was breached and Jesus. However, the home that Jesus could steal the title the Blues’ midweek exploits denied by the outstretched hand do little to prevent Lincoln’s Chris Locke’s scuffed shot found team never really looked like away from John’s were offi- proved there are not, at least not of goalkeeper Dave Bramley who Brian Moore unleashing a drive the corner. winning and John’s didn’t have cially destroyed. With John’s in Lincoln anyway. collected the loose ball. It might from twenty-five yards. The Blues were down but not to raise their game. effectively winning the title, Within twenty minutes, have been a fine piece of goal- Cambridge’s Duncan Heath out, and pressed forward in search Jesus seemed to be defend- Jesus now face a second place Cambridge had been denied a keeping, had it occurred inside showed his class though, flying of an equaliser. Payne worked tire- ing stoutly and were rarely showdown against Downing, penalty, a free kick eighteen yards the penalty area. The man in across goal to catch a ball most lessly, and the ball dropped in the seriously threatened through- who edged out St John’s only from goal, two red cards (for the black whipped out his neutralis- goalkeepers couldn’t have par- Lincoln area near Hughes and the out. But on 17 minutes, last week. same player) and any sort of pro- er, and quickly forgot that the ried. substitute Dankis. Dankis got O’Murray collected a kick Meanwhile, Girton seem tection from a plethora of wicked incident happened. Cambridge Half time arrived, and with a there first but missed the chance from Jesus captain John certain to finish in fourth challenges. This tone was to con- was robbed of a close-range free switch of ends, a break for Blues to level, while the usually philo- Hopkins, and proceeded to place after beating Trinity tinue throughout an away fixture kick, and Bramley was fortunate winger Alex Mugan from the sophical Fitz winger turned sever- slice through the Jesus defence Hall 22 – 10. that was one of the most crucial of to remain on the field. novelty of being heckled for his al different shades of magenta in untouched to score right St Catharine’s beat Trinity the BUSA calendar. Lincoln resorted to hacking the red hair. The change did the wide frustration behind him. under the posts. A simple Hall in their home match but The Lincoln University outfit ball long and hacking their oppo- man good; he quickly won posses- The final whistle brought a conversion for Ben Smith Trinity Hall could still win at had been stung into frenzy by nents further. Alex Coleman now sion with a strong challenge and pitch invasion as the Blues gave the visitors a 7 – 0 lead home and escape bottom posi- the Varsity article that followed has stud marks on his head. surged forward down the Lincoln warmed down and thought of and John’s never looked back. tion. However, to do so, the previous meeting, yet despite Despite the Lincoln habit of tack- flank. His run was cut short as a what might have been. But, as this Jesus could have felt they’ll have to win by a large the massive pre-match build-up ling the man before the ball, tackle almost cut him in half, and performance showed, this team aggrieved at being a try down margin as St Catharine’s have in Lincolnshire the Blues were Cambridge held together well. the official finally produced the has reserves of strength which will given thier solid defensive a much better point’s differ- serenely despatching traditional Rich Payne chased a through ball yellow card that it had been stand them in good stead come performance but it was their ence. opponents at Grange Road and and circumnavigated Bramley assumed he’d left at home. March 12th and Oxford. RUGBY BLUES BEAT DURHAM PAGE 23 DERAILING CHELSEA PAGE 22 WOMEN’S HOCKEY PAGE 23