Vol. 57 No. 10 the November 18, 2010 BAGPIPE bagpipeonline.com

GOODBYE

LANA DOUGLASS, COURTESY OF THE BRYAN TRIANGLE OF THE BRYAN LANA DOUGLASS, COURTESY BRYAN by Kate Harrison & Nate Drexler Smialek’s not concerned about the effect Dilemmas Post-Diplomas [email protected] the move will have on the Scots’ fan base, saying “I cannot believe this would weaken How the class of 2010 is managing its Covenant athletes and sports fans will no our fan unity, as we have had great fan longer be facing off against the team they support for numerous events that do not first year out in the Chattanooga area most love to hate. include Bryan College.” Tami Smialek, Director of Athletics, Some Scots fans weren’t so confident said that she asked each of the department’s about the decision. head coaches not to schedule the regular “I think it’s weak,” said senior Jon Abbot season athletic contest with Bryan College about the choice to end the rivalry. “The for the 2011-2012 school year. Bryan games were the games I always went “This was our own decision,” Smialek to. They have the best fan atmosphere.” said. “As we transition to full NCAA Divi- Covenant athletes say they’re conflicted sion III membership, we’ll be looking to about the move. schedule fewer games with NAIA colleges “We love the idea of the rivalry and how and more games with DIII colleges, with the fans get excited about the game,” said whom we are better aligned in academic sophomore Scots midfielder Tyler Mor- mission and specifically in athletic mission.” rison. “The Bryan game will be missed by Smialek noted that some Covenant teams all of us, but we see this as a step toward did not even play Bryan this year, as they bigger and better opportunities as we tran- have begun to schedule more NCAA DIII sition into DIII soccer.” opponents. She said she took input from Smialek said she has not spoken with coaches, members of the Athletic Commit- Bryan College about the decision at this tee and administration into consideration. point.

JAMES HARRISON according to the NACE’s 2009 Student Survey. ter he graduated, Harrison had a job waiting Alumnus James Harrison at his desk at the Chattanooga Times Free Press According to Covenant’s Center for Calling for him at a local nonprofit. But the com- by Adrienne Belz ate a financial and mental tangle for post- and Career’s senior exit survey for 2010, 68% pany downsized while he was on his honey- [email protected] graduates. The recession has only heightened of graduates entered the job market in a field moon, and before he knew it, he was hunting the strain. related to their major. for another job. He eventually convinced the What kinds of difficulties do graduates run According to the National Association of Numbers are down for finding jobs, as well Times Free Press to take him on. into shortly after shedding their cap and gown? Colleges and Employers (NACE), in 2007, as for overall starting salary—which dropped a He said that his stint—a three-month “For one thing, there’s no Great Hall after 51% of graduates who applied for jobs se- little over one percent last year. A starting sal- internship at the Press—ended last week, and college,” said Ben Wagner, a 2010 graduate cured one by the time they graduated. Then ary for degree graduates stands at $48,661. he’s back looking for work. from Covenant, who said he probably misses in 2008, only 26% of the graduating class James Harrison, who graduated from Cov- It’s been hard, but he is optimistic about the the food most, because now he has to figure had obtained a job by their graduation. enant in the spring, has spent the last three future. In the job search, Harrison said that out three meals a day. Now, just under one-fifth of 2009’s gradu- months working the graveyard shift for the searchers must be proactive. “No one is waiting Meals—among other responsibilities—cre- ates who applied for a job actually have one, Chattanooga Times Free Press’ web desk. Af- continued on page 3 2 News Robot Unicorn Attacks Covenant by Adrienne Belz & points. Samuel Auffarth, a sophomore on with some funny - and often its way onto Facebook. right there I keep thinking ‘I have Hannah Irwin at Covenant, has the highest score at crass - TV cartoons. The channel is And rather than isolating to beat Jacob Corbett, I have to beat [email protected] school, topping 215,000 points. responsible for shows like “Fam- people, Davis believes that everyone Jacob Davis!’” said Mollenkoff. [email protected] “I like the game because it’s made ily Guy,” the “Aqua Teen Hunger likes it because it gives everyone A new edition of Robot Unicorn up of short, quick runs,” said Auf- Force,” and “The Boondocks.” something to talk about.The scores Attack: Heavy Metal, which came Something has invaded the Covenant farth. Games tend to last anywhere Ironic and witless antics are Adult of a player’s Facebook friends are out as an application for the iPhone campus in the last several weeks, pull- from five to thirty minutes. “If you Swim’s specialty. Robot Unicorn posted on the side of the game. or iTouch, can be bought at the ing students’ attention away from the get killed, you can just start again.” Attack is the first game from the “If all the scores weren’t on the Adult Swim’s website for a dollar. increasing pressures of schoolwork. Because there are three chances to website’s plethora of games to find side I wouldn’t care, but since they’re The culprit: a robot unicorn. accrue scores in each match, the game Robot Unicorn Attack is an lures the player in, according to Davis. Internet game available through The game’s theme song, a tune Facebook. Despite its apparent sim- by Erasure called “Always,” repeats plicity—there are only two moves throughout the game. Its playful —the game has become an Internet melody and the loud noises made phenomenon. Aside from being when the robot rams into a star are the highly addictive, Robot Unicorn reasons Davis says he laughs so hard. is popular for its trippy rainbows, “You want to know the reason music, and sparkles. why I play? The song!” said Amanda “The game is really funny - it’s Messner, a sophomore girl who has really fruity. I mean, it’s a robot also gained interest in the game. unicorn,” said Jacob Davis, a sopho- Mwende Mollenkoff, a freshman, more who has one of the highest counters Messner’s opinion. “Every- scores among unicorn gamers at body says [the song] makes you play Covenant. “The first time I played I better, but I really hate it.” just laughed really hard for a while.” While the thought of video The goal of the game is to dash games often conjures up images of the stars that would otherwise teenage males playing in dark rooms destroy the mechanical unicorn for unhealthy chunks of time, men which leaps across the purple-tinted and women seem be showing equal screen. Each player is capable of interest in the Robot Unicorn. making a “leap” and a “dash.” Adult Swim, which created Robot, Consecutive dashes of stars result is known as a cartoon network for in ever-increasing points with some adults. After Cartoon Network goes Sophomore Amanda Messner plays Robot Unicorn Attack in the library ANNIE HUNTINGTON game players having over 100,000 off at night, Adult Swim comes

In honor of SACC Fee Increases Math Awareness Day: by Grace Mullaney most likely increase to $390 next with it. But for some students every [email protected] semester as a result of this vote and dollar does count, and $16 looks Last Wednesday, the student body the increase of other student fees. better invested in three meals off If a belt were placed around voted to increase the Student Associ- Skrivan does not believe the SACC campus than in better events.” the Earth’s equator, and then ation of Covenant College (SACC) fee will need to be increased again The added $8 will be used in fee by $8 per semester. SACC fee for several years. multiple ways, according to Skrivan. had six meters of length add- money generally goes to things like Senior Luke Granholm was “$2 or $3 of the fee will go to year- ed to it, and you grabbed it CAB event refreshments, club gas pleased, saying, “As a member and book publishing costs,” said Skrivan, money, color yearbooks, and more. leader of clubs, I am frustrated with a and “the remaining $5 to $6 will go at a point and lifted it until While inflation has increased the lack of funds available.” Sophomore to allowing for more opportunities all the slack was gone, how cost of tuition and other school fees, Peter Upton commented, “I can af- at Covenant.” Skrivan pinpointed the SACC fee has not been raised ford sixteen more dollars a year.” the Bagpipe and the Forensics Soci- high above the Earth’s surface since 2004. In past semesters, only Not all students were so pleased. ety as two possible recipients of the would you be? $88 of the $375 continuing student “I think we should work more at $5 to $6. fee has gone to the SACC. All of getting the budget under control As treasurer, Skrivan was pleased that changed last Wednesday. first,” said Student Body Vice with the outcome of this vote. “If Student Body Treasurer Aaron President Tim Van Vliet. “Cutting $16 per year can make a significant E-mail your answer to lweichbrodt@cov- Skrivan reported the vote break- costs would have been much more difference in extracurricular events enant.edu. The first person to present down as 66% of students voting for difficult and a major downside. I and allow for more opportunities a correct answer will get an awesome the $8 increase to the SACC fee and understand that $8 a semester isn't a for students to go on trips and other (but yet to be determined) prize. 34% voting against. huge amount of money and that we learning experiences, in our mind it The continuing student fee will are getting better ‘bang for the buck’ is worth it.”

Have a faculty quote you’d like to see published? Faculty Quote of the Week Email it to [email protected] “We could read it antiphonally. Females read sentence 1. Males read sentence 2. Hermaphrodites read sentence 3.” - Dr. Jim Wildeman in Advanced Composition Features 3

The Verdict Chattanooga restaurant Yes... Do the ChaCha makes pizza with pizzazz to spoilers. by Molly Anderson with spicy chicken and artichoke [email protected] hearts (don’t judge me, it’s actu- No... ally good) cost $15. A little on the Pizza ChaCha. The name says it all. expensive side for order-at-the- to a Harry, Ron, Since its opening in late Septem- counter pizza. Compared to other and Hermione ber, Pizza ChaCha serves pizza truly tasty pizza places in Chat- and coffee in a revamped, brightly tanooga, mainly Lupi’s and Mellow dying in a freak painted warehouse. ChaCha means Mushroom, Pizza ChaCha was broomstick character. ChaCha means colorful. just okay. It was the thrill of a new, ChaCha means Chattanooga. creative place and fresh ideas that accident. Owners Jimmy and David had made Pizza ChaCha delicious. the idea of a fun pizza and coffee What sets Pizza ChaCha apart shop that would bring something is that it is more than just a pizza Letters to the new and exciting to Chattanooga. joint. On the other side of the editor are While brainstorming on ideas building, Jitterz, a coffee shop by welcome! for the name, Pizza ChaCha was the same owners, will be opening conceived because it fully integrated in two weeks. Pizza and coffee may fun and Chattanooga. seem like an odd palate combina- Send them by email to When it comes down to it, pizza tion, but the two are meant to [email protected], is pizza. Thin crust, thick crust, go together and the design of the with “Letter to the Editor” red sauce, white sauce; pizza has a building shows it. in the subject line. tough market because it is such a Slightly removed from the down- Or send letters to: fundamental, favorite taste. Pizza town area on McCallie Ave., Pizza The Bagpipe ChaCha brings a little European ChaCha is housed in a refurbished Box 689, 14049 Scenic creativity to the Chattanooga pizza warehouse. Chalkboards hang on Highway Lookout Moun- scene. What they call the “ChaCha” the walls of tiny booths. Big flower tain, GA 30750. is one of four types of hand-tossed lights hang from the ceilings. Above pizza with a hole cut out of the Jitterz, a room full of tables and middle, replaced with a house or couches gives the restaurant a chill Caesar salad. Pizza ChaCha also place to socialize or study. Designed The Bagpipe offers gluten-free crust, sandwiches, and decorated by local artist Terry Established in 1955 personal pies, and create-your-own Cannon, the brightly colored walls pizzas. and random collection of furniture Kate Harrison I am no pizza connoisseur, but enhance the modern, open feel. Editor in Chief I know what I like. For me, it’s all Pizza ChaCha plus Jitterz is the about the crunch of crispy crust, perfect combination of party and Isaiah Smallman melt in your mouth mozzarella study, social and chill, food and drink. Managing Editor cheese, and white sauce. The real While it may offer normal pizza taste, test for Pizza ChaCha was to get my the atmosphere is anything but nor- Kathryn Jarrett Layout Editor typical order from any other pizza mal. Pizza ChaCha is just cool. joint. The create-your-own pizza The dining room at Pizza ChaCha GARRETT REID Adrienne Belz News Sam Townes Arts She also budgets in some money the ropes of starting a business, David Pifer Sports for herself every paycheck because taking advice, and calling the shots Lauren Hartzell Features otherwise she’d get depressed just for the business. Garrett Reid Photo 2010 Alumni paying bills and saving. Anthony Tucker, Director of the Lianne Visser Copy But he doesn’t regret his diploma. Getting married in December will Center for Calling and Career, said continued from page 1 Paul McLain Web He recently heard that people with ease up Reed’s costs because she’ll it’s impossible to be adequately Daniel Coulbourne Opinion for [an employee],” he remarked. diplomas are still more likely to get a be sharing everything, she said. Her prepared for the outside world, add- J. Davis & A. Lutz Distribution “Think creatively, start early, and job than those that don’t have one. advice is to get roommates to share ing that students can only imagine connect as many dots as possible.” “You have to be willing to adapt with if you’re not getting married. what it’s like to work at a full-time Cliff Foreman Faculty Advisor He approached the Press to ask them to a new job,” said Harrison. “Don’t “Also, everyone should take position for a company. to give him the job of a three-month be afraid to try something new.” Personal Finance. I took it the The three to four years immedi- This is a Covenant College student publication The views expressed herein do not necessarily internship. Mary Kate Reed, another 2010 spring semester of my senior year, ately following college are telling reflect those of the College or the student body. Harrison also said that students graduate in the area, majored in and it should be part of the core,” years of maturity,” said Tucker. “For shouldn't be discouraged if their history at Covenant but now works Reed said, referring to Covenant’s students pursuing full-time jobs, be 14049 Scenic Highway•Lookout Mountain, GA 30750 goals aren't met right away. Before at Bank of America in Chattanooga, curriculum. prepared to steward more money getting the job with the Press, Har- Tenn. She said it’s not a bad job. The Wagner, CEO of the upstart so- and time than you expected. You If you would like the Bagpipe to rison found himself working in a hard thing for her has been managing cial networking business LifeKraze, will now only be required to follow run a story on something, send warehouse­—sweating profusely and her paycheck, and budgeting money said that he has mostly had an easy another’s schedule for 40-50 hours your suggestion by email to cleaning off rusty machinery with for things like tithes. transition since graduation. The per week. I think this is where Satan steel wool. He wondered if his col- “Sometimes it hurts to write business is prospering. really tempts followers of Christ to [email protected] with lege education had been worth the those checks [for tithes],” she said. But it hasn’t all been smooth sail- waste the remaining 118-128 hours “Story Idea” in the subject line. time and investment. “It’s like making a car payment.” ing for Wagner as he strives to learn each week.” For advertising inquiries, contact Isaiah Smallman ph: (443) 845-7191 [email protected] Follow us on Twitter. @TheBagpipe 4 Arts JUMBLING TOWERS The ramifications of an exciting EP

Jumbling Towers lineup: Nate Drex- Fortunately, thanks to sound en- does just that. The title track is the inner confessions of a freshman by Austin Humbles ler handles bass and alumnus Mi- gineer Justin Gerrish (who co-mixed an engaging commentary on the home for his first Fall break. It’s a [email protected] chael Kendall plays keys. St. Louis Vampire Weekend’s Contra), The trappings of wealth and fame that wry observation that “the dream In an age where so much music locals Joe DeBoer and drummer Ramifications of an Exciting Spouse is features heavy-hitting bass kicks and you’ve had since you were seventeen” is easily accessible, local artists Luis Wall complete the roster. The noticeably more polished. His exper- claps, an infectious guitar lick, and is a fantasy comprised of equal parts often get lost in the midst of their band members have managed to tise lends depth and clarity to the new a driving synthesizer track. “Severe” pretension and naivete. The under- unsigned peers. Jumbling Towers successfully collaborate even though EP that their earlier efforts lacked. follows with a bouncing drum track tones of sorrow present in the song’s has learned that it can take years the band has recently split between Gerrish’s handiwork is most appar- and a jubilant chorus driven by one synthesizer track keep it from getting to attract any kind of significant Chattanooga and St. Louis. ent in the vocals, which are much of the album’s best keyboard tracks. bitter, but they also remind us that attention without label support. Earlier this year Jumbling Towers clearer than they were their previous “Outlet Store” humorously turns the youthful optimism doesn’t often Since they self-released their debut released their first full-length album, releases. It’s a welcome improvement, miseries of working for an hourly survive the “first week” of college. album in 2007, they’ve existed in The Kanetown City Rips, which because frontman Joe DeBoer’s wage into an anthem cautioning The Ramifications of an Excit- relative obscurity. Last year the centered on the story of a tribe of growling yelp is one of the factors kids to “watch out for managers.” ing Spouse is an even, mature work band confessed in an interview teenagers living in an industrial that distinguishes Jumbling Towers Even the album’s weakest track, that improves on Jumbling Towers’ with Tiny Mix Tapes that “We were wasteland in the year 1981. It is a from a host of peers. His lyrics are “Break Dancers,” overcomes an awk- previous successes and puts them in actually pretty naive, and since we grab bag of borrowed sounds from occasionally wordy, but the tongue- ward start to form a contagious call a position to be taken seriously. It all loved the record, we figured it’d that era, and the result was an eerie in-cheek delivery invites listeners not to “turn it around.” proves that Jumbling Towers is ready blow up and we’d be music legends blend of eighties pop and rock, with to take them too seriously. It’s not Jumbling Towers arguably saved to expand beyond Chattanooga and overnight.” It wasn’t until UK label a hint of reggae. Kanetown charm- often that the word “ramification” their best work for the last track, St. Louis into the national scene. Half Machine unexpectedly decided ingly showcases a band with plenty appears in a pop song, but somehow “Typecasting in Eugene.” DeBoer Jumbling Towers is performing to pick up their new 7” single last of potential, but no amount of clev- DeBoer makes it work. caricatures the energy and ideals of at Collective Clothing this Friday, November that they began receiving er back story could completely mask A five song EP doesn’t give youth with lyrics that easily lend 8:00-11:30 PM. Also, email Jumb- more widespread recognition. the fact that the album sounded much opportunity for a band to themselves to ironic interpretation. [email protected], telling them Covenant students will no doubt like it was cut in a gymnasium on a leave a lasting impression, but The Lines like “You’re learning to read, your hometown, and you can get a recognize at least two faces in the Fisher-Price cassette tape recorder. Ramifications of an Exciting Spouse and repeat what they say” sound like free copy of the EP.

JUMBLING TOWERS Arts 5 Encountering Sufjan CHRISTY FRINK Age of Adz tour challenges expectations

as Sufjan started “complement- by Paul Smallman ing” his beautiful works of art with [email protected] thrown-together dance moves and If there was one place that I could gimmicky costumes. “That’s funny,” have been on November 6th, it was I thought, until the feeling of “Dude, exactly where I was: I was in Atlanta you’re ruining the moment for me” with my friends and fellow fans of that I normally reserve for the drunk Sufjan Stevens, who was performing guy next to me was directed at Sufjan that night at the Tabernacle. I have himself. always enjoyed Sufjan’s music but this What? How could I be annoyed past summer was my first real journey with Sufjan Stevens at his own into his discography, which made concert? “Paul, snap out of it. You’re this concert the culmination of the ruining this for yourself!” But by emotions, thoughts, inspiration, and the middle of “Impossible Soul,” the excitement that had gripped me since twenty-five minute closing song of mid-July. Sufjan’s latest albumAge of Adz, I Sufjan appeared on stage with wings couldn’t help but feel heartbroken on his back and the full band and as Sufjan distractingly scrambled began the concert with “Seven Swans.” to throw on Kanye style sunglasses, I thought to myself, “There he is. This an Egyptian pharaoh collar, a dress concert is gonna’ make me weep.” By made of shiny wrapping paper, and the end of the deeply spiritual orches- a glow-in-the-dark visor during my tral rock ballad I was nearly in tears favorite part of the song. I felt like and I anticipated the powerful concert I was taking his music—the music that was bound to follow. However, continued on page 6 three songs in, I became disenchanted

Disillusioned Abandons Decency Onstage

by Zach Knuth instrumentalists. They sounded actly what happened. His guitar [email protected] tight and exuded a fierceness ri- started chugging then stopped valed solely by your grandmother’s as he turned to his band mates. The first opener for Deerhunter old house cat that doesn’t like to be “No, I’m serious guys, we’ve on Tuesday night at the Bottle touched anymore. played the same set for the last Tree in Birmingham was Casino On “Never Stops” and “Little three months, we’re a few miles vs. Japan, featuring the stylings of Kids,” the band dug into material away from our homes and cats, electronic noise DJ Erik Kowalski, from their Microcastles release, I’m not f----ing around.” a proponent of “intelligent dance then stormed through their classic Cox’s guitar started chug- music.” Then Deakin, (or Deaken, “ to Me.” ging for a second time, the band or Deacon) of Animal Collec- The set closed with their recent hit, followed suit and the train wreck tive fame, did his thing - aided the moody “Helicopter” and “He got rolling. After the completion by guitar, a cornucopia of pedals, Would Have Laughed,” a tribute to of the ‘second set’ Deerhunter gadgets, and his buddy Tim on the late, great Jay Reatard. Hav- continued by attempting the the synth pads. A few technical ing spied the set list taped to the original encore “Agoraphobia.” difficulties aside, Deakin and Tim floor next to Cox’s impressive pedal It came to a swift end when Cox took their set to the next level. board, our expectations for a killer halted the show, “Ah, I don’t But the reason we drove all the encore were high, but we had no know the words to that song, and way down to Birmingham was idea what the show would bring. you guys don’t want to hear it Deerhunter. At 10:45 Bradford Returning to the stage, Bradford anyway.” He looked out over his Cox and company took the stage (a proud man) was dismayed to audience, “This is our take on the dressed like they had just stepped find his set list missing. “Where’s Peanuts theme song.” The night out of an American Apparel my set list?” he cried, “now I won’t ended with a noisy rendition of dressing room. Things kicked off know what to play.” The crowd’s “Wash Off,” a track from 2005’s with “Desire Lines” and an oldie, reply to this crisis was to hurl re- EP. I was left “Hazel St.” They then took the quests. “Play the set again!” yelled with only two things running crowd through rockin’ renditions one guy. “Yeah,” said Cox laugh- through my tired skull on the of “Don’t Cry,” “Revival,” and ing to himself “let’s play the set two hour drive back: “Man, “.” Deerhunter’s four again…but Ramones style.” Deerhunter is an incredible live members have proven themselves To the disbelief of everyone act,” and “Man, is to be some of today’s most talented (including his own band) that’s ex- a real piece of work.” JUMBLING TOWERS PAIGE K.PARSONS 6 Arts & Opinion Confessions at Sufjan continued from page 5

that defined what I felt was beauti- Knifepoint Provides ful for the last three months—more seriously than he was. Soon, the main concert was over and the crowd cheered for a good Gut-Wrenching eight minutes until Sufjan came back on and headed for the by himself. Of course I couldn’t help but cheer with them despite Therapy my disposition, but as he played “Concerning the U.F.O. Sighting Near Highland, Illinois” I couldn’t reclusive editor and writer for the ing or, at best, get off with a brief a lighting change, a park bench shake the feeling of disappointment. online publication Confessions at recitation of platitudes. The play transforms into a hospital bed. The rest of his band then returned Knifepoint—and her increasing repeatedly breaks the fourth wall, In the first scene, Dr. Sheldon to the stage to play what the crowd emotional and mental instability calling its audience to participate, breaks the fourth wall, asking the had not demanded but was waiting due to unresolved grief from her respond, and in the words of Dr. audience to listen to the “whole for - his hits from Illinois. “Win me younger sister Lydia’s death (played Sheldon, “learn to be kind.” story”; of course, they say “yes” back,” I said to Sufjan in my mind by Karin Dahl by Brianna Pearch, who does well This is no passive entertain- so the play will continue. The as I yearned for the feelings that [email protected] in Lydia’s complex role). Her col- ment; the Confessions’ non-linear, narrative structure ensures the brought me to the concert. But due leagues—secretary Susan Reynolds layered narrative style requires the audience’s close attention, but the to Sufjan’s forgotten lyrics and a After the customary clapping, (played by a sweet, flustered Anne audience’s participation in piecing play demands more to be involved seemingly half-hearted and coerced bowing, and whooping expected Patterson) and publisher Milton the story together from flashbacks, than simply their heads. Confes- approach to the songs that I held in at the end of an opening night Douglas (David Pickering, friendly “interviews” with side characters, sions is convicting, brimming high esteem, I couldn’t salvage the show, and the actors’ backstage yet bewildered)—and her friend Ja- the events (or “scenes”) themselves, with hurt, and difficult to watch night for myself. retreat, the audience remained in cob Ross (Alan Cheney, refreshingly and more. The play is aware of its because pain of this kind is not The reality is that Sufjan Stevens their seats for two quiet minutes. flirtatious) attempt to help her as fictional, theatrical, and melo- fictional. The audience, like Susan is an inspired musical genius that Instead of immediately gathering her work and health begin to suffer. dramatic nature, as well as being and Milton, is thrust into Jamie’s chose to express a different side of their coats, they turned to each The play begins with Dr. Shel- one-sided since it is Jamie telling life—neither they nor we have a himself in concert than I had hoped. other with expressions just short don (played sympathetically by her story. To complicate matters “real” obligation to care about her. As I listened to the excited crowd of shock. Such was the scene newcomer Greg Steele) acting as further, the audience must, along But, like Susan and Milton, we around me talk about how fun the at the end of the Friday night narrative moderator for Jamie Mc- with Jamie, distinguish reality from can choose to care about Jamie— concert was, I agreed. But I didn’t performance of Confessions at Clelland’s “scenes”—the entire play inner psyche, truth from fabrica- to channel the compassion we feel plan on seeing a “fun” concert. Knifepoint, written and directed is Sheldon’s retelling of the events. tion. The writer’s inner conscious- for her to those around us who If anything, Sufjan showed what by Kathryn Jenkins. While Jamie suffers through the ness is projected onto the stage, at hurt just as deeply. The play and many artists fail to admit: despite The audience had reason for be- reenactments of even the hardest times quite literally, such as in her the characters repeatedly challenge the beautiful works of art he has wilderment by the end of a show scenes of her life with Dr. Shel- constructed conversations with her the audience’s complacent prom- produced, he is a normal guy with that feels more like a ninety-min- don’s encouragement, she shapes deceased sister Lydia. Helpfully, ise to “listen” at the beginning of quirks and flaws, likes to have fun, ute intermissionless psychotherapy her story for the audience. We as the play uses the minimalistic stage the play. As in real life, when we and doesn’t take himself too serious- session than a play—painful, viewers also undergo therapy; as space and lighting to distinguish the open our hearts to others, we find ly. Sufjan didn’t do anything wrong gut-wrenching therapy. The play the events reveal Jamie’s hidden “present” from flashbacks, inter- it demands more of ourselves than in the concert, it just wasn’t what revolves around Jamie McClellan self-love and self-protectiveness, views from “scenes,” the various of- we (selfishly) bargained for. But I expected. But I love his music (Alia Hollback, glarer-extraor- our own manifestations of the fices (Dr. Sheldon’s, Jamie’s, and the the sacrifice is worth it. enough that I will change my expec- dinaire)—the one-time “golden same vices come out—a desire to hospital) from childhood spaces— tations the next time I go see him so girl” of her high school turned be detached in response to suffer- with a character’s deft turn and that I can understand who he wants to be as an artist more fully. The Burden Of Responsible Citizenship by John Hollback be defined as free-reign to seek after ‘New World Order,’ a compartmen- ficials tread where bidden. But our disobedience’ has developed a nega- [email protected] self-fulfillment. We must realize that talized system comprised of ‘haves’ fanatic faith in an America that no tive connotation in the American genuine American freedom is some- and ‘have-nots,’ the rich and those longer exists renders us blind. vocabulary, when in reality it is at What exactly is the role of the thing entirely different. At its core, who serve them. Christians are as much to blame the heart and soul of true patriotism responsible citizen? We have been it consists of a liberty that permits Unfortunately, the American as anyone else, and perhaps more and is a precious right that belongs blessed with a government that is individual expression, self-sustaining population has been lulled to sleep so. Our eternal citizenship as believ- to the people. Christians ought to dependent upon its people. Thomas communities, boundless creativity, by the hypnotic powers of innu- ers rests in heaven, but we have be the first to point out government Jefferson said that true govern- and honest labor. Without it, man merable distractions and entertain- an earthly citizenship as well, or a corruption, and be willing to lead ment derives its authority “from the becomes little more than a slave, ments. We have mistakenly assumed ‘stewardship’ if you will. If you be- the march against it if required to. consent of the governed.” The day constrained in all that he does. True that our elected representatives are lieve that God truly blessed America Thomas Jefferson said that, “The that we the people no longer desire freedom is quickly slipping away in providing the adequate checks and at one time, then you must concede price of freedom is eternal vigilance.” Liberty and Freedom is the day both our country. The last fifty years have balances on government power. that he expects his people to guard We must decide what we want our perish. seen a rise in government power Sadly, such thinking is woefully and cultivate what they have been nation to be. If we truly desire a free Lack of desire is not the current and an increasing loss of individual outdated and to be blunt, ignorant. given. The Christian citizen pos- country, than we must be willing to disease, however. It is rather a cer- rights. Leading politicians (both Re- Common men representing com- sesses a responsibility, an obliga- do what it takes to create and sustain tain cultural lethargy and a false as- publicans and Democrats alike) and mon people is no longer the style tion to remain informed about his it. However, if that is not our wish, sumption concerning the ‘freedom’ individuals of influence have made in Washington. The ‘Money Men’ government and protest against it then all we require is a couch and in America. ‘Freedom’ has come to no secret of their plans to craft a hold the leash and our elected of- when necessary. The phrase ‘civil remote. The choice is up to us. Opinion 7 Bringing the tempter back into our Where the Heck is Satan? conversations about sin tan, but not acceptable to consider specific by Adam Lutz instances of evil to be his work? The most [email protected] apparent root of this problem is the doctrine of total depravity. There is nothing inher- When referring to Satan in the midst ently wrong with this doctrine. It is like a of well-indoctrinated peers, prepare hammer, a good tool, but it can be horribly to be perceived as highly sentimen- misused. As is the case with all tools, when tal, childlike, and too charismatic. it’s misused, it damages more than it fixes. Specifically in Reformed circles, those The doctrine of total depravity prohibits with theological frameworks seem to man from choosing anything but the wretch- passively dismiss Satan, and any refer- ed life for which he is condemned: "None is wence to a phenomenal experience of righteous, no, not one; no one understands; Satan (i.e. temptation and such) may no one seeks for God.” (Romans 3:10-11) be greeted by a warm, “Now, I wouldn’t This doctrine has become the adequate and read into things.” Consequently, those paradigmatic explanation for sin. Consider- with reformed doctrine often subtly ing that every inclination of man’s heart is discredit people who realistically talk evil, there is no need for a tempter; man’s about Satan. It is my intent to not make heart is enough. Those in the Reformed tra- blanket statements about every person dition tend to blame all of man’s temptation in the reformed tradition because there on total depravity, rather than recognizing are those who embrace their belief the manifestation of Satan’s work. in Satan. Even one person’s failure to How is the existence of a tempter to be recognize temptation as a real epidemic reconciled with our already evil hearts? This from a real tempter would be enough to is an important but separate and intricate warrant this article. problem. Regardless of how these doctrines No Reformed thinkers would deny the are to be synthesized (whether Satan only existence of Satan, but few ever attribute causes the occasion for our sinning, or if he manifested evil to him. This inconsistency instills evil desires in our hearts) we need to encourages me to ask--why is it be aware of him and his effect on us, at the acceptable to theoreti- very least. This is my call to put the ham- cally believe mer back in the toolbox until you can use it in Sa- without hurting yourself and others.

MICHELANGELO BUONARROTTI Americans’ Modern Extremism can politicians on both sides of the aisle, by Daniel Coulbourne though they may disagree on healthcare, [email protected] welfare and gun control, fundamentally agree on how the country should be run. Politics in the US is often described in American politicians are moderate terms of a line. On the far right are the extremists. They all agree on fundamental freedom-lovers, government-haters, anti- ideas about capitalism, individual liberties, gays and gun owners; while on the far the construction and workings of govern- left are the baby-killers, tree-huggers, pot ment and a fundamental dedication to the smokers and socialists. Our two party constitution. They may differ on how and system divides us politically between two to what degree each of these ideas should be perceived positions: the economically implemented, but at some level they share a involved and socially permissive Demo- dedication to “the American system.” All of crats and the economically hands-off, but the differences highlighted in the media are socially conservative Republicans. simply differences of degree. This sort of thinking polarizes American American politics assumes that we are voters, and creates a false dichotomy in right in our basic ideas and are just looking political viewpoints. It creates a farcical for the right way to implement them. If we imperative to choose a side, for in such a are to awaken our political minds, we must climate, moderation is apathy. We treat our begin to explore the entire plane of political politics like we treat our sports: pick a team, thought, rather than the line that we have root for them and boo the other guys. grown to accept. The problem with this is that since This is the reason that calling your we’ve bought into this linear view of poli- opponent a Marxist or a Communist is tics, we have developed a media, which, CARTOON BY ANDREW SHAUGNESSY guaranteed to garner some sympathy from for the entertainment of its viewers, paints American voters. We don’t need to know if everything in the ugliest extremes. the American system refuses to recognize and only becomes more alienating with time. our politicians are right, as long as their poli- Our political conceptions rule out half anything off its political spectrum. Even Even worse than a two party system is a tics are American enough for us. Moderation of the political plane. While all over the within America, many people are left with- one party system, when you consider the fact is the American political position and the world right-authoritarians and left-liber- out a political leg to stand on. Our voting that the American system of government is filibustering buffoons on Capitol Hill are tarians develop their political philosophy, system ensures the promotion of two parties, in and of itself a political system. Ameri- radicalized moderates, the worst kind of all. 8 Sports The Vitality of Rivalry a column by Nete Drexler little smelly we cut and run? That we [email protected] don’t want to be involved with such a mess so we’re going to close the doors Things are shifting for Covenant to our mountain and not come visit College athletics, and it is going to you either? There’s something wrong affect more than just the players. with that picture. In the past two years, Covenant has Greg Ford has his hands full, but been in the process of bouncing from the stripping of this rivalry seems to the NAIA to the NCAA’s Division imply a distrust of Covenant student’s III. And while this means a lot of ability to handle themselves, and things (most of which you and I don’t that’s no good. care about), one thing it definitely I propose this: Let’s keep book- means is that our Scots are playing ing the Bryan games, and in the against “new” teams. It also means we meantime count our blessings for stop playing many of the “old” teams, having a common enemy that once and it’s a shift that will ultimately lead a year brings the entire student body to the death of a rivalry. together in unity, passion, and excite- In the switch, and in light of the re- ment. Let us continue to celebrate cent, unfortunate anecdotes between sport the way that it’s been celebrated Bryan and Covenant, the powers for thousands of years! of the athletic department decided Here’s the good news: Since my that, while they have the option of article is not going to change a thing, scheduling an annual Bryan soccer and because I don’t want anyone to game, they are not going to do it. So, worry, there’s rumor of a new rivalry the rivalry is officially dead. No more on the block. Enter Maryville College, red vs. blue, no more jokes about who, being only an hour and a half curfew, and no more epic showdowns away in Knoxville, TN, is also called on Scotland Yard. Nothing. the Scots (fact, not rumor). They don’t In looking back, one will see that the live on a mountain, but they have history of sports is littered with stories pretty solid athletic teams (hearsay). and examples about what happens And get this -- they have even made when athletics become too important, a trophy specifically for the Covenant and when fans and players take a step men’s soccer game which they have or two over the line. Indeed, the world called the Highland Cup (rumor). has seen players throw vicious punches, It gets better. The Maryville Scots pull hair, gouge eyeballs, bite ears, choke have been fairly well-matched against out, and even paralyze their opponents. Junior Natalie Weber gears up for a soccer game earlier this fall ANNIE HUNTINGTON our Scots the past two years, which It has seen fans run out onto the field means that in most years, whoever to attack coaches and players that they Graf?!?”... keep reading). in other sports, too, but none seem to I absolutely allow for some of these wins this mid-season Highland Cup simply don’t like, it has seen spectators Rivalry, in its simplest form, is com- bring quite the sensational gravita- anecdotes that we’ve seen in recent match will also probably end up interfere with plays, and it has even seen petition for the same objective or for tion that the annual soccer game years. Sure, it costs money and time winning the regular season GSAC people trash entire cities in response to a superiority in the same field. At least does.) There was vandalism, maybe a to repair real acts of vandalism, but conference title. Also, I shouldn’t fail loss (or sometimes a win). that’s how Merriam-Webster defines it. skirmish in the parking lot after the maybe instead of uprooting a tradi- to mention that the cup (at least this In 2004, eight major league players Today, as these above examples show, game, and probably a big handful of tion, we might think about strategi- past year in the game at Maryville) were ejected after a beanball brawl in we see it as something a little more small infractions that ended up on cally placing some security officers was escorted to the center of the field New York. In 1994, Andres Escobar than mere competition, though. To us, Greg Ford’s plate. But does nixing the near the soccer field. (Hint: they usu- by a group of bagpipers during the was shot to death after putting in it represents a deep-rooted tradition of rivalry really solve the problem? ally attack the night before the game). starting lineup announcements for an own goal in the World Cup. In animosity between two entities. I would argue that it does not. Fights are simply no good, and both the players and fans to survey. 1993, Monica Seles was stabbed by While I understand the reason- Emotions are meant to fly in com- there’s certainly no excuse for Cov- What we have here is potential for a diehard Steffi Graf fan. And we all ing of how Covenant’s switch to the petition for both the fans and the enant kids to engage themselves in rabblerousing... but don’t take it too remember Tanya Harding bash- NCAA affects things, the conjecture players. There’s no question about such activities after games, but if one far. Stay behind the lines, keep your ing Nancy Kerrigan’s knee during at this point is that the decision was that. It is seen at every level of every or two parking lot skirmishes mean voices down, hope they don’t vandal- the Olympics. Even way back in largely made based on a string of sport, and in every year of history the end of the rivalry altogether, then ize us, and hope that our fans don’t Constantinople in 532, over 30,000 problems in the last year revolving (See: Rome, 532 A.D.). what message are we putting out get too caught up in the rivalry… Romans were slayed after a Chariot around the Bryan vs. Covenant soccer I certainly do not make an argu- there? That we live on a mountain or Covenant may have to leave the Race (you’re all like, “who is Steffi game. (Note: Covenant plays Bryan ment for violence and mayhem, but and when we start to see things get a NCAA and go back to the NAIA. Covenant FINAL SCORES: Cross-Country Women’s Soccer @ Birmingham Southern (1-2 L) Senior Hannah Matthews and Sophomore Jona- Women’s Volleyball @ Oglethorpe (3-2 W) than Preg both placed in the top 20 at the NCCAA Men’s Cross-Country @ NCCAA National Cham- Cross-Country National Championships in Ce- pionship (10th of 28) darville, Ohio this past weekend. Because of their performances, these two Scots received All-American Women’s Cross-Country @ NCCAA National Honors, and helped Covenant's cross-country team Championship (15th of 21) successfully top off its 2010 season.