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The Help Book Movie Compare Outline James Saylor # 21957737 #500469 176 Rainberry Drive Mooresville, NC 28117 [email protected] Dear James, You’ve made great progress here once again. You now have a developing thesis idea argument, many differences to discuss, and developing analysis. Given these foundational aspects, you are at a reasonable point to begin work on your essay. However, I pass this outline with reservations, as there are still many important improvements you’ll need to make as you draft your essay. Please focus on the following revisions: 1) Introduction—condense it, and get to your thesis sooner. 2) Thesis—see yellow-highlighted marginal comment. Hone in on ONE specific argument—that you’ll prove EITHER the book or the movie more strongly and directly shows how much power white women had over black women in the 1960s. 3) Differences—focus on only one per paragraph. (You do this well in many areas but have a couple places where you still lump together multiple differences, which is confusing.) 4) Evidence—for each difference, provide specific quotes and descriptions from the book and movie that prove the difference exists. (Make sure you provide in-text citations for the pages from which you get the quotes / descriptions.) 5) Analysis—all analysis must support your exact thesis statement. See the marginal comments in your analysis sections for help in this area. If you have questions on this feedback or what areas still need improvement as you begin drafting your essay, please contact the school for additional help. Instructor (VGG) Penn Foster English 300: Advanced Composition Comparison and Contrast Prewriting Pass Return Thesis, Ideas, and Content -The thesis makes a focused claim that can be sustained in a longer essay. X (w/ -The outline/organizer provides a close reading of book and film using reservations) comparison and contrast patterns of development. -The main points analyze the significance of the changes between book and film. Organization -Ideas are logically arranged and help move paper forward. James Saylor # 21957737 #500469 176 Rainberry Drive Mooresville, NC 28117 [email protected] -Each proposed main point is focused on one aspect of the topic and helps X (w/ support the thesis statement. reservations) Style and Voice -Maintains a consistent point of view on topic X (w/ -Proposed evidence will engage readers’ interest in the topic. reservations) Bibliography -Properly formatted using MLA guidelines. X -Provided six potential outside sources for research. Conventions -The outline/organizer has been spell-checked and proofread to check for errors X in word choice and typos. -The paper is reasonably free of errors that interfere with a reader’s ability to understand the content. Format -The prewrite is developed as an outline or graphic organizer. X - It includes all required information in a properly formatted header. Exam Number: 500469 Grade: Pass, w/ reservations Date: 3/28/17 Instructor: VGG IMPORTANT NOTICE Along the right-hand side of your evaluated exam, you should see marginal or "bubble" comments from your instructor. You should also see a series of highlighted numbers in the evaluation chart identifying the rating you earned on each trait. If you don't see this feedback, click on the "View" tab and "Print Layout" or click on "Review" and the option "Final Showing Markup." If you still cannot see the feedback, please contact the school for the complete evaluation. I. Introduction A. Background information on topic (“The Help”) For decades, the film industry has adapted bestselling books into movies. Yet, screenwriting and Commented [VGG1]: More general info than needed. filmmaking necessitate changes from the text of the book itself. The reason for this requirement Condense your intro so it gets more quickly to your specific subject (i.e. your book / movie comparison). James Saylor # 21957737 #500469 176 Rainberry Drive Mooresville, NC 28117 [email protected] is that films are more costly to produce and involve many more people and resources; therefore, they must reach a wider audience. Moreover, films must tell the story within a short period of time, keep the audience engaged, and do so in ways that both elucidates the original perspective and illuminates nuances or underlying tones that captivate the audience. Whereas some films differ widely from the books upon which they are based, The Help written by Kathryn Stockett and the 2011 movie, adapted and directed by Tate Taylor, upon which it is based, both the film and the book have many similarities. They both showcase the disparate social class institutions in the Deep South in the 1960s (Francois 1; Stockett “Synopsis,” Stockett “Interview”). But aAlthough both mediums use in-character narration, dialect, dialogue, black and white characters, separate spaces and places, and historical memory to do so, they also harness the voice of Skeeter, a young college graduate returning to Jackson, Mississippi, to narrate paradoxically the Help’s lives and thoughts. Since societal conventions, norms and roles are linked with levels of self-empowerment, freedom from societal conventions in role and place, the maintenance of position in the rigid segregated Deep South play central roles in the book and the movie. Commented [VGG2]: Confusing. You must get more quickly to what the differences are and what your thesis will However, the idea that freedom comes only from changes inspired by the book be. publication about the help and by the help and from private moments in private space between “the help” and Skeeter is not entirely true. Rather, as evidenced more clearly in the book, social Commented [VGG3]: Very confusing wording. I cannot understand what you are trying to say here. order, degrees of personal freedom, self-efficacy and empowerment and even freedom from societal conventions and expectations arise from the complexity of interactions in public and private space, courage, and from a willingness to tell the truth; so does the sense of belonging. Commented [VGG4]: Again, you have a lot of ideas here, but they are too vague and unexplained to make sense and lead directly and clearly into whatever your thesis argument B. Thesis Statement: While both the book and the movie address X topic, TheX, Y, and Z will be. type of differences between the book and movie cause the book to more pointedly demonstrates James Saylor # 21957737 #500469 176 Rainberry Drive Mooresville, NC 28117 [email protected] how white women in particular, expected to marry, raise families and hire maids to perpetuated the cycle of segregation and inequality and heold all the power over the help, their life choices, and their ability to control aspects of their lives. Commented [VGG5]: Your thesis is developing very well here! It needs just a little more work. First, make it clear that you’re saying that both the book and II. Book Movie Comparison movie try to show the detrimental role white women (not just white people in general) had on black women’s lives during the 1960s. Then, make it clear how well EACH version does Body Paragraph 1—Idea to write the book difference so; it sounds like you are saying the book does a very good job of showing how dire the situation is, while the movie makes it seem as if white women have less power over black Difference: In the book, the idea to write “The Help” comes from Abileen’s deceased son women’s lives (in the 1960s) than they actually did. Finally, make sure you list the types of differences you’ll discuss. through Abilene’s recollection of his aspirations to become a writer; in the movie, however, the idea comes instead from….. Aibileen, a housekeeper, who has tended babies for more than thirty Commented [VGG6]: In each body paragraph, make it clear UP FRONT in the topic sentence what the difference is. years and known Skeeter since Constantine, another housekeeper raised her, conveys the idea Commented [VGG7]: Who? for the book to her when Skeeter confesses to Aibileen that her resumes and queries to the Commented [VGG8]: Who is “her” here? Skeeter? publishing company in New York have been unsuccessful. In the movie, Skeeter comes up with the book idea about what it life is like for bBlack maids who work for white families. Skeeter pitches the idea to the publisher directly. The publisher-client relationship seems well established. Skeeter then approaches Abilene and asks for her help. Commented [VGG9]: Okay—so, Abileen herself has the idea in the book version and pitches it to Skeeter. Skeeter has the idea in the movie and only later comes to Abileen. It is Analysis of how the difference proves the thesis: Even though Skeeter has more choices and clear WHAT you will argue the difference is. But where is your evidence? Show the part in the book where Abileen approaches Skeeter with the book idea (and why). Then, education than Aibileen because Skeeter is white and comes from an upstanding, wealthy family, describe the part in the movie where Skeeter pitches the book to her publisher and then asks Abileen for help. (What the conversation between Aibileen and Skeeter in the book version demonstrates how self- is the dialogue?) empowerment and freedom emanate from this conversation in private space. It illuminates how Commented [VGG10]: Avoid vague statements. What self-empowerment? What freedom? What private space? the interdependence of trust, private space and the exchange of private thoughts between the help Commented [VGG11]: But your thesis says that the book and Skeeter can coauthor freedom. In the book version, Aibileen realizes she can contribute to proves more directly how white women were in control of the help’s / black womens’ fates and lives at the time. How does Abileen being able to go to Skeeter and pitch this book Skeeter’s continued professional development and to Skeeter’s freedom from the Deep South.
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