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» . o UP WITH THE JONESES.Pa Is Pretty Nearly Itight. By POP. AMTTSEinarra. j KEEPING TO "* ______ s B A Happiness ~ i ELASCO 7. «TTTIMbT I Q > ^ A ComfflT in Thrrr Act* by Harry Jama* Too. -rvV Love BurT r OMLY erf little well tw 30xe3e! vou Doktt v M*w' JES GO (GROUND TO<5 1 Smith (Antho* Mr*. Humpa'cacl LH(h). ctzaes! Vflwre ve ewd- all the My neighbor Johnsing can o' pete MANl' he50 ^p'^lve * nee0 ftny "fwe . "THE EYHHJITOR5' EviTd^NCE OH! IMOGEN a corWTO! tvv coy are ( _/; ?\ WHk NORDSTROM lot of things that 1 afford CkS , suell5 ftN' SCRATCH ON the Door MARIK_ HAVE A Bu UNfc' wfttrrs p,,SIE TOUfllM dollys y'poop- \^~ \y ' yet I'm not envious or bored,cannot: GOlrf An" LET NEXT WEEK.SEATS NOW beneath my collar I'm not hot. HEART! > To QO TC "THEY'LL TOu tN FOR S nothin" 1 UKJtT.' T he Show W ith Champagne I laxof My neighbor Johnsing has a roll , j Davjg 70U that's large enough to choke a MKjHT EVEN wiN * PR»Z1E ) steer; 1 contemplate him and my soul is smiling still from ear to 1 ear. l'or one thing is supremely \N ) ' ^ true.as some one said in ringing tones.that happiness has naught to do with what a human being owns. Old masters hung upon the wall won't bring a nickel's worth of bliss. The rich man in B.F. KEITH'S ' his gilded hall is always saying 'Moved audiences to L .FORMER^ ^ X>OG capacity things like this: ".The gladdest enthusiasm".Post. I time I ever was when 1 spent THEODORE KOSLOFPS lived in yonder shack and had to husband every cent to buv f for my back." I likesuspendersto BALLET RUSSE JACK WIIJO\ TRIO. MA« ! have enough to cat, I like to have Rfvuf." Porter J. AYhtte Co.?r«imp(u some clothes to wear and caskets ^£22" 3 tttelndcln. Six Other Hits. for feet and PoT*.. lit Time Films of Army-Nary Foot Ball Gams my shapely gasoline Kext.Eddie to feed the mare. T like to feel, in Foy, \atalle Alt, Etc. dismal times, upon the day that's nrnnrr * r»\/ nr tar a n n A i/rn I CITY ITEMS. wet and dank, that 1 have half a POSTAL OFFICIAL oconciMni ur »vhn DHr\cn AMUSEMENTS. NATIONALCharles Frohman Presents dozen dimes in in the HDT A IMC uinu DnCITinM storage I UvJI I IWI1 BURGLARS WEST DR.WILLIAMH. UUIHIIMO rilUII VISITS® VIRGINIANS'GUEST bank. Let Neighbor John-village HOLlT escort. Fee, $1.00 per hour. Address OTIS SKINNER Box 219.A, Star office. n» n i > in the Booth smg view Ins roll, through tears juri I Tarkinfrton Comedy, G. Thomson Made Urges Development of the State for VJUI UVll 5 MISTER ANTONIO that make his vision dim; I HONOR GUESTATDINNEF| George Purchasing TWICEWITHIN MONTH j Thermometers. ScKmidt, 719-21 13th St. wouldn't touch it with a pole, Agent for Guggenheim Justice and Hal>^ 4 Subjects when seeing what it's done for New York City. piness. lO l,b«. Gran. SuRnr, 75ci Lbn. Head him. WALT MASOX. His Seventieth Anniver Interests, Steal Another Coat, Valued at $395, Rice. 25c; 4 ll>s. Black-eyed Peas, 25c; Sunday, December 3, 1916 Burton Holmes Birthday 3 lbs. Hominy. 10c; 5 lbs. Buckwheat, Tomorrow Celebrated His Fellow From J. M. Gliding's & Co. 25c; 12 lbs. White Meal. 35c; White 11 A.M.."Nero, and the At\ sary by Two years apo George G. Thomson, Avoiding: politics in his Address, 45c pk.; Sweet Potatoes. 30c pk.;Potatoes, Nlgnt 8:30 Price*. SOc, 75c. 91 CITY NEWS IN BRIEF. of War Baker last 'light talked Apples, 25c pk.; Oranges. 20c doz.; of Rome" J Scientists of Washington. former chief clerk of the 1*081 Office Other Robberies Reported. SecretaryWonder Tea, 29c; Wonder Coffee, 20c; Burning Department, who has a wide circle of to the West Virginia Society of 25c; SEATS SALE An informal reception is to bp pound jars Rockwood's Cocoa, 8 P.M.."The ON P0APT friends in Washington, answered an in Pythian Temple' urgingWashingtonthftt large cans Asparagus, 19c; Gold Medal Business Man Mrs*. Sol Berkowitz. a former tendered Gold Medal Wheat 15c; I'pon the occasion of his seventieth 1 advertisement in a New York Robbers who visited the store of J. the development of the st-'te, where he Oats, 8c; Food, and His of the association, by the Y.president\V. M. his childhood and Cornflakes, 5c; large jars Molasses, 12c; Stenographer" A. birthday l>r. William Henry Holmes paper and was rewarded for it by being Giddings & Co., 1510 H street, the spent young Ivins' Old Dominion War Cake, 3 lbs., Or **The H. tomorrow afternoon, from 3 to 5 news, Association of Men and EltingEEIN "COUSIN WEEK. of November a should be toward justice, of East Flour. $9.00 LUCY NEXT I at 1330 10th street curator of anthropology of the National appointed third deputy commissioner morning 13, smashed manhood,00c; Star the bbl.; Women in Business." $10,000 GOWN iI o'clock, northwest. and 3338 M st. n.w. DISPLAY MONDAY NIOHT. Museum, was tendered a dinner at the of charities of New York city at a big plate glass window and stole a and better living conditions,happiness24 lbs. Old-time, $1.10. A musical program is to be given and and all the J. T. D. Stores. Hotel of a coat valued at were so well extolling the virtues of the state as Pyles tat'1.000 copies of Dr. Gordon's refreshments are to be served. Lafayette last night. salary $.'.000 year. $490, KtATS Now SELLING 1'UB nature's mineral treasure house. "Don't * RIDAT. _ An>-rir,"« the entire group of He now has resigned that position to pleased with their success that they great Worry" sermon will be . __ "WashingtonPractically Life Innnraiice.Old I.lne.Reliable. I-. H, I-Trtr SoPr.n. (>rn. associated paid another visit to the store this The meeting was an annual "apple distributed at the ANNA PACE r,r Charles Franklin Rougeou, scientists interested in anthropology bbcome with the morning; aaasassa/inn/1 LrtuLviiwu cider night" of the West Virginians. D. Fulton Harris, Colorado building. m itt. :3th Mp, (>per# Co. general of the Armyquartermasterand and others were present to do honor tc heim interests as a member of Guggen|the staff morning, repeated the !4 IN RKCITAL. An elaborate was Navy Union* accompanied by Mrs. Dr. Holmes. His hosts were the mer of the American Smelting and Refining and took a coat valued at $395. It program presented. With Charles Gilbert Snroe* at the r.ano. window-smashingMrs. Mary Randolph Pickens gave a Claflin Optical Co.. 907 F St. First Tirk-t-. *2..Vi. $1 V'. tl.M. T:,r. is on a visit to his home, at who have labored with him for Company, at a large advance in salary, was not until after 7 o'clock this William Morsell Congregational Church T Arthur «; Rougeou, reading. sang, See us fo' Glasses. ______ La. Lecompte. years in the government servicethirtyfiveand will have charge of purchasing the that the robbery became known.morning by Byron Blodgett; MissaccompaniedSelma ' . " T"'h "" ' ' and many who have with supplies for all the Persons employed in the vicinity of the Chismond gave a specialty dance, and 1p o l i s co-operated Guggenheim Miss Estelle Murray sang, Plain Skirts Cleaned and Pressed, 75c. km?r.v£ Secretary Tom Crnnt of the him from the outside. with otlices in the Equitable store told Detective O'Brien that the Mats Tu«.. Thur. and Sat., 25c and 5Ce. of interjests, by Miss Emily Bradley. accompaniedPerfect work. Douglas, 1533 14th. N.1159 The Funniest of the Season. Commerce has been namedChamberas building. New York city. As deputy robbery was committed between 6:55 were a Thomas Ye Comedy numbers reading byConcluding Old-Time Straw Rides _ one Volume of as commissioner <>f charities of New of the judges in a marathon race Essays Gift. and 7 o'clock this were Chaplain and a banjo solo by W. C. ON NEW-TIME VKHICIJ28. York Mr. Thomson had supervision of a morning. They Stum PACKARD CHAINLESS MOTOR f to be held under the auspices of A feature of the was the on the p. TRUCKS. 1flUTT & JEFFS WEDDING evening large force of employes, and also was working pavement, they stated, was made Col. J. Gould's Wonder Store, 9th and I sts. Careful a«-fumrao<lHtInK ohanffeurs. Institute this month. Announcement by PLENTY early Carrollpresentation to him of a handsome charged with the purchase and and were certain the window was not William De Grange, chairman of OK 1'KESH STRAW. NEXT WFFK I Clpan nt*"*v truck*. cG-rtricallr I l tribution of great of equipped. lira ma i«- *>nrrrM volume of anthropological quantities suppliesdis. smashed when their work was finished that the society wouldentertainment, and < '< 1NSV LT A N !>E RSt»S. Mr*. Susie Root Rhodes director of anniversaryfor Hie department of public charities. the Confederate convention h'ire Superior Developing Enlargement*. Phono essays. These essays, regarded as at 6:55 o'clock. welcome Co.. !434 N. Y. ave. Went 1841. 3043 K n.w. * municipal playgrounds, is to speak on next May. Columbia Photo. Sup. The Millionaire's Son "The Ideals of the Washington among the most important First Served as Stenographer. Inspector Grant, chief of detectives, The president, Henry S. Baker, Playgrounds" at a meeting of to this science during the past thinks the who made the that the annual banquet of Announcedthe and the Municipal contributionsYears ago, Mr.