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ROBERT M. PRICE

the first century. He had sought to burden the masses with the terrible freedom/ The Grand responsibility to think for themselves, not to allow the authorities to cow them by the trickery of mystery, miracle, and authority. But who wants such freedom? Takes the Throne Who is equal to bearing such a burden? After the Sanhedrin got rid of Jesus, its successors, the Lords of the Catholic aturally, the media treats the Church, continued its work by keeping selection of the new , Bene- the faithful in a peaceful, dogmatic slum- Ndict XVI, as a blessed event. ber, all answers provided, no troublesome Unlike me, they want to be polite. I find thinking to do, and of course, threats of I cannot regard Joseph Ratzinger’s ele- hell for daring to choose one’s own con- vation to the Cathedra of Peter as a clusions (which is what heresy literally benevolent thing. means: “choice”). Well, the Holy Office of Among the nonsense fogging the air- the is not about to allow Jesus waves like sweet-smelling frankincense to stir up trouble all over again. So he from a swinging censer was the assur- must be burnt at the stake on the morrow ance of one Vatican spokesman that the as the greatest heretic of all. Finally, for selection process would be no mere the sake of nostalgia, the Grand election among professionals recogniz- Inquisitor lets Jesus go free into the night ing the gifts of one of their own. No, the with a warning to get out of town. Holy Spirit would make his will known What do you know? The Holy Office (though it might take him a few rounds make his will known in the choice of the of the Inquisition still exists (in 1965, it of voting to make his choice clear to the next actor to play James Bond. Can they was renamed the Congregation for the cardinals)! I find the idea fully as silly as really be so simpleminded? Or are such Doctrine of the Faith), and it has rather if he had said that the Holy Spirit would statements strictly for the consumption famously set about silencing Catholic of the masses to make them think they mavericks like Hans Küng and Edward dare not disagree with the new pope? Schillebeeckx, though it no longer has Well, obviously. the power to put them to death. Guess The classic statement about insti- who has filled the role of the Grand tutional religion and the favor it seeks Inquisitor for the last twenty-four to do us by saving us the trouble of years? None other than the new pope, independent thinking is Dostoyevsky’s Joe Ratzinger, hard-line conservative “Parable of the Grand Inquisitor” (part and enforcer of Catholic dogma. of his massive novel The Brothers People have the right to swallow Karamazov but often printed by oppressive dogmas if they want to, if itself). In it, Jesus reappears on they have been gulled all their lives by the earth in medieval Spain and Ratzinger and his ilk. But why do they begins to heal the sick and help the do it? It is safe to say that each of them poor. Not for long though, because the has not made a conscious decision to Grand Inquisitor hears of it and dis- trade in his or her intellectual autonomy patches a goon squad to clap Jesus for unthinking submission to a party in a local dungeon. The Inquisitor line. Few even realize that this is what is visits Jesus in prison to explain why his ostensible successors Robert M. Price is a professor of bibli- have offered him so cold a cal criticism at the Center for Inquiry shoulder. It seems that they and the author of Deconstructing Jesus cannot forgive him for and The Incredible Shrinking Son of rocking the boat in Man and coeditor of The Empty Tomb: those far-off days of Jesus beyond the Grave.

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at stake. But you’d think that, after a don’t. Consider Cardinal Bernard Law, rubber-stamp God’s administration of while, believers would realize the cruel- finally pried loose from his Boston epis- the world, especially including the suf- ty of their ecclesiastical masters and copate for conducting an elaborate shell fering of innocent children. How can revolt. Mother Church tells them not to game, moving priestly predators to new the poor Catholics retain any respect for have sex without having kids. No, no to and unsuspecting sheepfolds instead of, their leaders’ “moral authority” at all? birth control. This is cruel enough. But say, turning them over to the cops. What Why do they not simply abandon this then some poor couple wants nothing did his Vatican superiors do to him? wicked and totalitarian institution? They more than to have kids, whom they fully They kicked him upstairs to a higher are like the self-imposed inmates of One intend to baptize, doing their duty to position. They rubbed it in by having Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest. refill the ranks. And they want to try Law celebrate a very public funeral I make it a case of the Stockholm artificial insemination. But what does mass for John Paul II (who, like Syndrome. This is what happens to pris- the Church tell them? Too bad! Can’t Ratzinger, dismissed the molestation oners who eventually come to sympa- use those newfangled methods! It’s scandal as media anti-Catholicism). thize with their captors, not as a ruse to almost as if the curia were trying to fig- Further, his position gave him a major curry favor and ease their torment but ure out how best to frustrate their hap- voice in choosing John Paul’s successor. actually internalizing the oppressor’s less minions at every turn. This is an institution tolerating child claims for authority. You come to think And the child-molestation scandal! abuse by its representatives. And as you deserve what you’re getting. As one Even Father Bruce Ritter, founder of long as the laity tolerate their leaders’ character says in Monty Python’s Life Covenant House, turned out to be a laxity, they are complicit in it. In The of Brian: “Crucifixion? Best thing the molester. The Church has done little, Brothers Karamazov, Ivan, he who Romans ever did for us!” and that only when forced by media spins the parable of the Inquisitor, says The Grand Inquisitor becomes pope? attention, to discipline pederast priests. he cannot in good conscience be a Best thing the Roman Catholics ever did Top church leaders never cared and still Christian as long as it requires him to for us!

Join us in the battle against superstition, irrationalism, pseudoscience, and deception in Latin America, attend the First Ibero-american Conference On Critical Thinking: The Social Effects of Dogmatism and Deception Science and Religion — Pseudoscience — Politics, Economy, and Mass Media Buenos Aires, Argentina — September 17 and 18 Lima, Perú — September 24 and 25 A select panel of scientists, investigators, journalists, and other professionals from Latin America, the United States, and Europe will speak about topics of interest and relevance to scientists, skeptics, and humanists.

Conference speakers will include: Paul Kurtz, Founder and Chair of the Center for Inquiry • Joe Nickell, CSICOP Senior Research Fellow • Benjamin Radford, Editor Jefe of Pensar and Managing Editor of Skeptical Inquirer • Norm R. Allen Jr., Director of African Americans for Humanism • Alejandro J. Borgo, journalist and author, Buenos Aires, Argentina • Richard Branham, astronomer, Mendoza, Argentina • Pablo Mira, economist, Buenos Aires, Argentina • Daniel Altschuler, Senior Research Associate at Arecibo Observatory in Puerto Rico • Hector Avalos, Professor of Religious Studies, Iowa State University • Alberto Hidalgo Tuñón, Professor of Philosophy at Oviedo University, Spain • Peter Schenkel, Author and Science Journalist, Ecuador • Hector Guillen, physician and founder of Arequipa’s Anti-Cults Movement, Peru • Luis Solis, Teacher of Religion and Philosophy at San Marcos Pedagogical Institute, Lima

Sessions to include: Science and Religion: Are They Compatible? Can ethics exist without religion? Pseudoscience: “Alternative” medicine, parapsychology, UFOs, faith healers, psychic powers, and other mysteries. Social Effects of Deception: Politics, Economy, and Mass Media — How the public is deceived, and what we can do to stop it.

For more information on the conference in Argentina, contact Alejandro Borgo at [email protected]; for information on the conference in Peru, contact Manuel Paz Y Miño at [email protected]. For more informa- tion, go to www.pensar.org or contact Benjamin Radford at (716) 636-1425, ext. 331, or [email protected].

17 http://www.secularhumanism.org June/July 2005