Tie One on This Is What They Do with Ties at Touché’S Leather Eye for the Preppy Guy Contest

April 9, 2008 #939

Tie One On This is what they do with ties at Touché’s Leather Eye For the Preppy Guy contest. inSIDE page 18 Jinxy, we hardly knew ye. Ready to give up? Try this! page 16 page 10

out in the stars by Charlene Lichtenstein Venus and Mercury in Aries impress those in authority now and Mercury benefit anything conjunct and unleash a blast so make your best pitch. How involving fun, creativity, the that makes us feel more about four balls? arts and games. Gay Archers confident and invincible. Let’s may decide to pursue a new, try to contain the energy and LEO (JULY 24 - AUG. 23) more artistic path. If so, step April 9, 2008 have it glow inside of us rather Partners are demanding some into the spotlight and speak #939 than wastefully splash it all attention. So give it to them. Out. I can’t hear you. around town. And yet, do I feel Book your flight and don’t fly a drop? solo, proud Lion. A romantic in- CAPRICORN (DEC. 23 - JAN. cover terlude is in the stars if you get 20) What do you truly value in PREPPY ARIES (MARCH 21 - APRIL off your duff. This goes double life, pink Cap? Venus and Mer- BONDAGE 20) Venus and Mercury put for single malts and spices up cury can make your dreams photo by Male Image you full face into the glare of old married salts. come true. Recalcitrant family the spotlight with excellent comes around and you can Photography results! Even if you clumsily VIRGO (AUG. 24 - SEPT. 23) make your home life what trip on the way to center stage How sexy can a queer Virgin you want it to be. If it’s tawdry INDEX it will appear as the perfect feel? Venus and Mercury times you’ll have to wait until THAT GUY diplomatic and graceful move. promise more than a light flirta- next week. 6 They don’t call you the magic tion. Don’t waste this fabulous THE DJ, THE MUSIC mouth for nothing! surge on just anyone. This is AQUARIUS (JAN. 21 - FEB. & YOU definitely the time to explore 19) Seek and ye shall find, 10 TAURUS (APRIL 21 - MAY each and every meaningful you lucky thing. Speak loudly, WHAT DO YOU WANNA 21) Can we talk about closets, pulsation. The beat goes on proudly and carry on with a big DO? queer Bull? Yours will be and on! schtick. This week, anything 12 blown off its hinges. This week you set your mind to do, you DATELAND offers numerous opportunities LIBRA (SEPT. 24 - OCT. will do admirably. The real 14 to weave your dreams into 23) The temptation is to mix question is - what have you set THE SPREAD magic webs. For those whose business with pleasure, but your mind to do? 16 INTERMISSION dreams are more earthbound, steer clear of the office casting 22-23 use this time to spice up each couch. You can get anything PISCES (FEB. 20 - MARCH WHERE MY BAR AT? salty idea. you want by thinking it out 20) Guppies are tempted to 24 carefully first and then applying use money on impractical WHAT’S UP? GEMINI (MAY 22 - JUNE 21) the right mixture of clear trinkets. And why not? Blame 25 Compadres provide more than logic and pure sugar... and not your irrepressible, spendthrift FROM THE BOOTH just the usual escape from necessarily in that order. inner child on the vagaries of 28 the mundane. Your mission, the cosmos and lavish yourself should you choose to accept SCORPIO (OCT. 24 - NOV. with little gifts. I hear mink un- it, is to extend your current 22) Any health or exercise derwear doesn’t come cheap, circle and see who else you regime has immediate but then neither do you.... can lure into your net. And for benefits. Even the day-to-day any international ventures, try job offers opportunities to get (c) 2008 THE STARRY EYE, LLC., All the Internet. on track. But all things in time: Rights Reserved. For Entertainment Purposes Only. Take things slowly and do not CANCER (JUNE 22 - JULY overdo, whether it’s at the Can’t get enough? Join the blog: 23) Carefully planned efforts grindstone, on the treadmill or thestarryeye.typepad.com/queer in your career take you at the dinner table. Lichtenstein’s “HerScopes: A Guide several steps forward. Step To Astrology For Lesbians” is an back, survey the highway and SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 23 international sensation and has just think about what you need to - DEC. 22) Dive into new pas- “come out” in its 6th printing. Buy it do with this life of yours. You times with a vengeance. Venus and feel the vibration.

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April 9, 2008 #939 PUBLISHER Tracy Baim ASSISTANT PUBLISHER Terri Klinsky Managing Editor Kirk Williamson Photography Mel Ferrand, graysong, DJ Greg Haus, Kirk, Kizzy, Ryan Kolodziej, Steve Starr CAST OF CHARACTERS Andrew Davis, Andrew Georgiou, graysong, Joan Jett-Blakk, Charlene Lichtenstein, David J. Magdziarz, Jennifer Parello, Randy Pubert ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVES Terri Klinsky, Suzanne Kraus, Kirk Williamson, Kathleen Ulm, Amy Matheny, Jerry Nunn, Cynthia Holmes, Terry Wiegel, Kat Fitzgerald, Diane Mareci NATIONAL ADVERTISING REPRESENTATIVE RIVENDELL MEDIA (212) 242-6863 Promotions Kathleen Ulm DIRECTOR OF NEW MEDIA Jean Albright Office Cynthia Holmes, Robb Olson, Amy Wooten Calendar Editor Amy Wooten

Copyright 2008 Windy City Media Group/Lambda Publications Inc. All rights reserved. Reprint by permission only. Back issues available for $3 per issue (postage included). Return postage must accompany all manuscripts, drawings, and photographs submitted if they are to be returned, and no responsibility may be assumed for unsolicited materials. All rights to letters, art and photos sent to Nightspots/Windy City Times will be treated as unconditionally assigned for publication purposes and as such, subject to editing and comment. The opinions expressed by the columnists, cartoonists, letter writers, and commentators are their own and do not necessarily reflect the position of Nightspots/Windy City Times. Publication of the name, photograph, or likeness of a person or organization in articles or advertising in Nightspots/Windy City Times is not to be construed as any indication of the sexual orientation of such person or organization. While we encourage readers to support the advertisers who make this newspaper possible, Nightspots/Windy City Times cannot accept responsibility for advertising claims.

Tie One On nightspots 5315 N. Clark St. #192, Chicago, IL 60640 This is what they do with ties at Touché’s Leather Eye For the Preppy Guy contest. 773.871.7610, fax 773.871.7609 www.WindyCityMediaGroup.com inSIDE page 18 Jinxy, we hardly knew ye. Ready to give up? Try this! [email protected] page 16 page 10 A Victory Gardens Theater Fresh Squeezed Event at the newly remodeled Biograph Theater A VERY SEXY VARIETY SHOW Burlesque Sketch Comedy Improv Titillating Tales Sex Advice FEATURING The Flaming Dames GayCo 2nd Story The Neo-Futurists with Time Out Chicago Sex Columnist Dr. Debby Herbenick Hosted by Hell in a Handbag Productions’s David Cerda

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2433 N Lincoln Ave. Chicago, IL 60614 that guy by Kirk Williamson I feel I must start off this week Gay Idol at Crew was a smash with gigantic thanks to all the success. For the first time in Gay wonderful photographers, namely Idol history, we had a three-way Male Image Photography, DJ tie for second place, which led Res-5 and somebody from Mary’s to there being four finalists Attic, who took all those splendid advancing to the semis at Circuit. shots and sent them in while I I ended up hanging out with Jinx was away on a mountaintop in Titanic after the show. So several Denver. Oh, that mountain air did shots later, here’s me singing, me a world of good! guess what, Prince. I was waiting for Jinx to ask me to sing with Two quick recommendations if him at his final show, but it was you find yourself in the Mile High not to be. City: Of course, I went anyway. It was 1) Every weekend at the Bump Jinx Titanic’s final show at the and Grind Cafe, Denver’s rough- Flesh Hungry Dog’s third anni- est and toughest queens serve versary show at Jackhammer and up eggs and irreverence at the you wouldn’t believe how packed Petticoat Bruncheon. Just don’t it was. Rock at its finest. Which, tell them it’s your birthday. Want unfortunately, also meant that to know why? Alright, tell them some overpumped idiot threat- and see what happens. ened to “hurt” me for jumping in front of him to get pictures of the 2) Any South Park fans out there? show. Put this in the “shit I have Then you may know that Matt to go through to bring you this and Trey come from not too far column” column. Sorry, it’s the outside of Denver. What may be a Catholic mother guilt kicking in. FROM TOP: Ripley surprise is that Casa Bonita, the Caine and Davy Joans ludicrous Mexican restaurant that For more on Jinx’s latest project, at Jackhammer, Cartman kidnapped Butters just see gospeltitanic.com. Doin’ up a little Prince to attend, actually exists! And it’s at Crew; every bit as ludicrous as it was in Do you enjoy sexiness? What From the Petticoat the show. Fire jugglers, gorillas, about variety? And shows? Get Bruncheon at Bump Black Bart’s cave, the whole en- off to all three at Literally Sexy: A and Grind Cafe chilada. And the worst enchiladas Very Sexy Variety Show at Victory you’ll ever eat. But you won’t Gardens Theater on Friday, April remember it for the food. 11. Just look at that ad on page 5; I dare not to masturbate. And although it’s all family friendly and shit, we saw plenty of other homos there. [email protected] Of course, as it is with any vacation, I came home right into craziness.

6 April 9, 2008 Wednesday 4/16 Windy City Gay Idol Come be a Scarlet Star! Sign-up Begins at 7 pm, Show Starts at 8 pm, $5 Cover, $10 Contestant Fee To Perform $3 Buds/Bud Lights

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8 April 9, 2008

the dj, the music AND FOR THOSE WHO HAVE GIVEN UP... and you by DJ Res5 Gimme More: The Column With A Little Extra I want to start off by saying that I actually enjoy Pretty Odd, the new Panic! At The Disco album. I think a big reason I can do this is be- cause I respect them for taking a huge risk and stepping away from the Fall Out Boy-clone image their debut LP projected. Proving that every opportunity has its cost, Panic!’s decision to infuse folk music into their alternative rock can be a little off-putting to anyone yearning for the second coming of their 2005 debut. My rock aficionado friend David griped that groups like Bright Eyes have done the folk infusion better, but this isn’t his column...

Now something most of you will enjoy are the remixes coming down the pipe for Janet’s “Rock With U.” While GRACEFUL LOUNGING no one has delivered a mix that actually incorporates This beautiful rich bold caftan, printed over a jac- rock music into the track, what I have heard so far has quard woven polyester fabric has an allure all its been sexy as hell! The mixes by Alexander & Mark own. Slim silhouette styling and free flowing design VDH, Ranny, and FND do the best in what is a very make this caftan perfect for wearing while entertain- strong field thus far. Expect to hear one of these mixes ing guests or simply lounging around the house. Fig- on April 15 at the next Grown & Sexy party. ure flattering fashion import fits sizes 6-24. http://www.ordogof.com/details.cfm?item=10141 Something you probably won’t hear is the new M.I.A. single “Paper Planes.” Most of the ‘TENDER mixes are hip-hop, and of the presents five versions on the maxi, only one is at a speed over 95 beats LOVE per minute. I am not saying The Barback Edition they are bad, but given how strong the Kala album is, the remixes are definitely a letdown.

Last word’s on me this week. I uploaded a beat mix from last year. You can download it for a limited time from Media Fire. http://www.mediafire.com/?w2lmywczyry. I hope you all enjoy it, and remember to go green.

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wannaNightspots’ do? Free Dating Advice (you’re welcome) by Michael Hampton COME TO Looking for a new place to go? Uptown has O myriad options within just a few blocks of each B N G other. I

You can head over to Crew at 4804 N. Broad- way for some sports on the TV and above par MARYOKE bar food. Play a game of pool, drink a lot of booze and perhaps enter their Friday night Hot THIS SUNDAY Jock Contest to show your date what you’re made of. AT The Annoyance Theatre at 4830 N. Broadway offers subversive shows that make you laugh whether you are drunk or not. They have a great bar to hang out in and you may get to meet some of Chicago’s improv theatre gurus like 5400 N. CLARK ST. Mick Napier or Susan Messing.

Marigold at 4832 N. Broadway is a new Indian FOR YOUR CHANCE TO WIN restaurant that is sure to give some spice to your night. Bright colors and flavors will surely A SHOT AT LOVE create some sparks. WITH TILA TEQUILA: So give Uptown a try. Even though the once THE COMPLETE terrible neighborhood has begun gentrification, UNCENSORED FIRST you can still see the occasional hooker giving a handjob in a dark doorway, so it hasn’t lost all of SEASON its charm. from MTV Home Entertainment www.worldsgreatestbar.com Available April 15! www.annoyanceproductions.org www.marigoldrestaurant.com email me at [email protected]

COURTESY OF

12 April 9, 2008 Windy City Gay Idol Wrap-Up Crew

4 2 3 1

5 6

1) Finalist Kevin swallows a black girl (apparently). 2) Finalist Jennifer classes up the joint with a little bilingual- ism. 3) Finalist Edward pulls out an old standard. No, not that one. 4) Finalist Jennifer (yes, there were two) gives a fruity punk twist. 5) Sofia says something witty. 6) [Top: L-R] Finalists Edward, Kevin, Jennifer and Jen- nifer. [Center] Judge Kirk Williamson. [Bottom: L-R] Judges Dylan Rice and Sofia Saffire, host Amy Matheny and judge Jinx Titanic. photos by Kirk

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Available everywhere NOW! TO WIN: Email [email protected]. In the subject heading enter “CHANTAL” In the body, include your full name and mailing address. Good luck! * A Windy City Media Group Promotion 14 April 9,2008

datelandby Jennifer Parello fast-food? emptiness youfeelaftereating Did itleaveyouwiththesame confusing, andkindoficky? anything otherthanawkward, 2) Was thesexyouengagedin stranger again!” can’t waittohavesexwitha telling yourself,“Oooh,Ijust the nightbefore),happily clothes youwerewearing the street(stillwearing have youeverskippeddown 1) After aone-nightstand, these questions: your sexualpast. Ask yourself take anhonestassessmentof angry rebuttal,Iwantyouto your computertotypeoutan Before youmarchoverto them.) impersonal sexandIsalute have masteredtheartof what Iunderstand,gaymen applies tolesbiansonly. From (Another note: This advice night stands. They arenofun. piece ofadvice: Avoid one- With thatsaid,here’s myfirst sad strangers. nights spentwithsomevery earned fromsomeverylong Rather, itisabitofwisdom you isnotamoralindictment. clear thatwhatI’mabouttotell ace myremarksbymakingit one-night stands.Letmepref- Today we’regoingtodiscuss parello.com/les101.html. posted athttp://www.jennifer- each subsequentone,willbe Lesbian 101. This lesson,and Welcome tothethirdlessonof Rules For AOne-NightStand 2) Donotcryatanypointdur- morning. make aquickescapethenext night atherplacesoyoucan 1) Insistonspendingthe of fun. with grace,dignity, anda bit will enableyoutohandlethem So, hereareafewrulesthat keep havingone-nightstands. mistakes, andwe’regoingto But, weneverlearnfromour doesn’t happenit’s upsetting. the stranger, andwhenthat or b)wanttofallinlovewith stranger tofallinlovewithus, stand. We eithera)wantthe is inherentintheone-night- bling sex.So,disappointment until we’rewellintothefum- that ithasalimitedshelflife time thing.We don’tdetermine thinking thatitwillbeaone- rarely enterasexualencounter with one-nightstands—women Here’s thebiggestproblem one-night stands. a prettymiserablehistorywith 99.9% ofalllesbianshavehad a relationship,Isuspectthat relationship orlongingtobein lesbian Iknowiseitherina Considering thatevery encounter? (regret ordisgust)followingthe ful (affectionate) orsour into somethingmoremeaning- this stranger(lustful)deepen 4) Didyourinitialfeelingsfor girlfriend? the recentlossofacheating at somepoint,bemoaning involved breakoutintears 3) Didoneofthetwowomen Books oron Amazon.com. Children First,Unabridged buy DatelandatWomen and Hey, Iwroteabook. You can well-defined expirationdate. Remember “one-night”hasa don’t sleepwithheragain. over yournaughtiness,but Then youcanshareagiggle bump intoeachotheragain. with realaffection whenyou allow youtogreeteachother the disappointingeveningand will makeyoueachre-evaluate to meet. This simplecourtesy nice time,butmakenoplans and tellherthatyouhada 8) Giveheracallinfewdays with envy. but actuallywillbepeagreen counter. They’ll actoutraged, and tellthemaboutyouren- friends whoareinrelationships 7) The nextday, callallyour bath. forget totakeahot,cleansing at yournaughtiness. And don’t yourself thenextday. Giggle 6) Donotfeelbadabout with herpets. 5) Donotfallintoarelationship with yourparents. breakfast thenextmorning are, donotinvitehertohave 4) Idon’tcarehowdrunkyou basics. to figureitout.So,stickthe and you’vegotonlyonenight doesn’t knowwhatyoulike, know whatshelikes,and try anyfancystuff. You don’t 3) Keepthesexsimple.Don’t ing theencounter. #5"37).9/57). /52&2)%.$3!4"5$7%)3%2!2%')6).'9/5!#(!.#%4/7).#5"34)#+%43

chicago Cubs vs 7!4#(4(%#5"3!4 Brewer tickets #2%7!02),4(63 at wrigley field ADMIT ONE SUBJECT TO 2%$30-&/29/52 tue April 29th, 2008 vs7:05pm CHANGE READ CONDITIONS chicago Cubs ON BACK. NO REFUNDS #(!.#%4/7). ADMIT ONE Brewer tickets SUBJECT TO CHANGE at wrigley field READ CONDITIONS ON BACK. NO REFUNDS 0).43 tue April 29th, 2008 7:05pm

Mondays at Crew PUB

QUIZ $7 '2!0%&25)4 -!2'!2)4!3 NIGHT -!.'/ N ,%-/.$2/03 ARY-ONISTAT (OSTEDBY3ISTER- 3/'//$ #,!33"%').3!40- 4(%92%3).&5, "!24!"&/27)..).'4%!- $5.#%02):%3&/24(%7/234 HappyHour HappyHourMonday-Friday 4-6pm HappyHourhalf price appetizers #2%7s."2/!$7!9s7/2,$3'2%!4%34"!2#/- photos by Kirk A farewell to Jinx at The Flesh Hungry Dog Show at Jackhammer

photos by Res-5 Goin’ down Under the Sea at Circuit’s Nitro

photos courtesy of Mary’s Attic A surprise fit for a queen (Mercedes, to be exact) at Mary’s Attic photos by Kirk General sexiness at Sidetrack

16 April 9, 2008 theSPREAD

...open wide

photos by Kirk A farewell to Jinx at The Flesh Hungry Dog Show at Jackhammer

photos courtesy of Mary’s Attic A surprise fit for a queen (Mercedes, to be exact) at Mary’s Attic photos by Kirk General sexiness at Sidetrack

17 April 9, 2008 Pick a preppy, leather him up, then all night you’ll have good luck! Leather Eye For the Preppy Guy at Touché photos by Male Image Photography

18 April 9, 2008

Windy City Gay Idol Wrap-Up The Closet

1) Finalist Alexis goes all Broadway on the crowd. 2) Finalist Lori shows ‘em how it’s done in Lockport. 3) A little Depp action for this nice, young man. 4) [Top: L-R] Host Amy Matheny, judge Kirk Williamson, finalists Lori and Alexis. [Bottom: L-R] Judges DJ Dragonfire and Emily White. photos by Kirk THURSDAYS AT HYDRATE...

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5)&8*/%:$*5:5*.&4/*/5)"//6"- M_dZo9_joJ_c[i_ii[[a_d]je h[Ye]d_p[)&ceh[ekjijWdZ_d] 4&&,*/( B=8J_dZ_l_ZkWbiWdZj^[_hWbb_[i mêWh[kdZ[h)&o[Whie\W][$ /0.*/"5*0/4 %FBEMJOF'SJ "QSJM 6/%&35)*35: "8"3%4 Efdè\\jj_flc[Y\le[\i*'p\Xijf]X^\Xe[j_flc[_Xm\dX[\jfd\jlYjkXek`Xc Zfeki`Ylk`fejkfk_\C>9KZfddle`kp#n_\k_\ièk_\Ô\c[jf]\ek\ikXèd\ek#gfc`k`Zj# _\Xck_Xe[&fifk_\iXi\Xj% K_\efdèXk`fej_flc[Y\(''nfi[jfic\jjXe[j_flc[jkXk\n_XkXZ_`\m\d\ekjfi Zfeki`Ylk`fejk_\efdè\\_XjdX[\%EfdèXkfijj_flc[èZcl[\k_\ìfneeXd\jXe[ ZfekXZkè]fidXk`feXjn\ccXjk_\ZfekXZkè]fidXk`fef]k_\efdè\\%

Gc\Xj\\dX`cefd`eXk`fejkf8e[i\n7N`e[p:`kpD\[`X>iflg%Zfdfi]Xokf8e[i\n ;Xm`jËXkk\ek`fekf..*$/.($.-'0%

=fccfnè^k_\gfc`Zpèjk`klk\[è)'',k_Xkè[`m`[lXcjZXefecpnèfeZ\#k_fj\_Xm\nfek_\XnXi[jèZ\k_Xk p\XiXi\è\c`^`Yc\]fik_`jp\XiËjXnXi[j%?fefi\\jn`ccY\efk`Ô\[èDXpXe[i\Zfê`q\[èAle\% Intermission PSME Special Guest: Survivor host Jeff Probst JEF 8FJSE

All Hail Matt and Trey www.southparkstudios.com This provides more evidence that Matt Stone and Trey Parker, the creators of South Park, may be two of the coolest humans, evah. They have made every episode of South Park available online... unedited... for free. And if that’s not cool enough, they’ve added Canadians to the South Park Avatar generator. Now when you post to international discussion groups, you can disguise your Americanness.... at least until President Obama takes office next January. 0111010101110101011010101101011010101101010101011101010101110 It’s a mad, mad, mad, mad, mad World www.youtube.com/watch?v=AaAmlhzELpw Usually the NYT (reporting on John McCain’s love life aside) is not a prime location for finding anything for this column, but this little interactive galllery is a gem. It features a selection of the back cover fold-ins from Mad Magazine. So that no one out there attempts to fold his flat screen (and then sues the Times) the editors have thoughtfully created an interactive Flash-thingy to do the folding for you.

0111010101110101011010101101011010101101010101011101010101110 Now 98% Lion-free www.ultimatechristianwrestling.com “Professional Christian Wrestling.” No matter how I parse that phrase it only comes out one way: WTF? I watched a short clip of the film about these fellers, God’s Tackle Box, and realized that this was the pro wrestling of my youth, back in the days when wrestlers tussled in county auditoriums and high school gyms and were uniformly fat. I was momentarily taken back to those more innocent days, then one of the wrestlers crossed himself, and I threw up in my mouth a little. 0111010101110101011010101101011010101101010101011101010101110 Way Better than a Rickroll www.youtube.com/watch?v=AaAmlhzELpw

A video of Marilyn Manson’s “The New Shit” performed in American Sign Language. Once the guy “shuts up” and starts performing the song, it’s pretty brilliant and way more watchable than La Pequeña Hillary Clinton.

0111010101110101011010101101011010101101010101011101010101110 22 April 9, 2008

April 9, 2008 9, April 23

Bowling pin shaped Bud Light—lots and lots of it... a bowling alley full of queens having a blast... the mildly fetid scent of the suburbs (smells like Des Plaines)... must be at Vital Bridge’s Strike Out Against AIDS.

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Percy Sledge is, so why not? not? why so is, Sledge Percy - graysong - - graysong -

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Pop Museum where her old old her where Museum Pop Sweaty jocks... take take jocks... Sweaty by Santa and the Easter Easter the and Santa by

No way. Isn’t there a Crappy Crappy a there Isn’t way. No Beer and brats. - Kathleen - brats. and Beer Yeah, he was getting tag-teamed tag-teamed getting was he Yeah,

Baseball season makesyou

it. - Creaoke - it. - Creaoke - Only on Ghostbusters. - Amy - Ghostbusters. on Only

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absolutely. - Robb - absolutely. costs. - Robb - costs. Cosby... and it scared the shit shit the scared it and Cosby...

Pop Singer Hall of Fame, Fame, of Hall Singer Pop Avoiding Wrigleyville at all all at Wrigleyville Avoiding I saw Ghost Dad with Bill Bill with Dad Ghost saw I

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winter. - Kathleen - winter. Ever seenaghost?

Yes. - Pubert, Kirk Pubert, - Yes. Hot dogs. - Pubert, Amy Pubert, - dogs. Hot Just my pale, white skin in in skin white pale, my Just

Absolutely! - Kathleen - Absolutely! - Andrew - sheet. - Robb - sheet.

of beer and desperation. desperation. and beer of too, please. - Andrew - please. too, a couple eyeholes in a white white a in eyeholes couple a

think of... Crowded “L” trains that reek reek that trains “L” Crowded Yes, but put Tina Turner in it it in Turner Tina put but Yes, No, but I’ve been known to cut cut to known been I’ve but No,

playing ball. - Jeff Jeff - ball. playing there and it sucks. - Jeff Jeff - sucks. it and there Yes. - Creaoke, Pubert Creaoke, - Yes.

summer doing nothing but but nothing doing summer her--even though I’ve been been I’ve though her--even Yes--Britney’s “career.” - Andrew - “career.” Yes--Britney’s

and spending my entire entire my spending and lucky “f*cking” stars to have have to stars “f*cking” lucky Jeff - us. of all

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SPOTS night MAFIA WHERE MY BAR AT? BOYSTOWN minibar/winebar Joie De Vine Prop House 3160 3341 N. Halsted St. 1744 W. Balmoral Ave. 1675 N. Elston Ave. 3160 N. Clark St. 773-871-MBAR 773-989-6846 773-486-2086 773-327-5969 www.minibarchicago.com Lost & Found The Southside www.Chicago3160.com North End 3058 W. Irving Park Rd. Chesterfield Club 3733 N. Halsted St. 773-463-7599 Berlin 1800 W. Pershing St. 773-477-7999 954 W. Belmont Ave. Man’s Country 773-376-9511 773-348-4975 Roscoe’s 5017 N. Clark St. (bath) www.clubchesterfield.net www.BerlinChicago.com 3356 N. Halsted St. 773-878-2069 Club Escape 773-281-3355 Bobby Love’s Scot’s 1530 E. 75th St. www.roscoes.com 3729 N. Halsted St. 1829 W. Montrose Ave. 773-667-6454 773-525-1200 Scarlet 773-528-3253 Escapades 3320 N. Halsted St. www.scotsbarchicago.com www.bobbyloves.com 6301 S. Harlem Ave. 773-348-1053 Bucks Saloon SoFo 773-229-0686 3439 N. Halsted St. Sidetrack 4923 N. Clark St. InnExile 3349 N. Halsted St. 773-784-7636 773-525-1125 5758 W. 65th St. 773-477-9189 Cell Block Spyners 773-582-3510 www.sidetrackchicago.com 3702 N. Halsted St. 4623 N. Western Ave. www.innexilechicago.com 773-665-8064 Spin 773-784-8719 Jeffery Pub 800 W. Belmont Ave. www.cellblock-chicago.com Star Gaze 7041 S. Jeffrey Ave. 773-327-7711 Charlie’s 5419 N. Clark St. 773-363-8555 3726 N. Broadway Ave. www.spin-nightclub.com 773-561-7363 773-871-8887 Steamworks (bath) www.stargazechicago.com The Burbs www.charliesonline.com 3246 N. Halsted St. T’s 773-929-6080 5025 N. Clark St. Club Krave Circuit 13126 S. Western Ave. 3641 N. Halsted St. 773-784-6000 Blue Island, IL 773-325-2233 www.tsbarchicago.com ANDERSONVILLE 708-597-8379 www.circuitclub.com @mosphere Touché Hideaway 5355 N. Clark St. 6412 N. Clark St. The Closet 7301 W. Roosevelt Rd. 3325 N Broadway Ave. 773-784-1100 773-465-7400 Forest Park, IL 773-477-8533 www.atmospherebar.com www.touchechicago.com 708-771-4459 www.theclosetbar.com The Anvil Wilde Pug www.hideawaynightclub.com COMING SOON!!! Cocktail 1137 W. Granville Ave. Hunters 3359 N. Halsted St. 773-973-0006 www.worldsgreatestbar.com 1932 E. Higgins Rd. 773-477-1420 Big Chicks Elk Grove Village, IL FireFly 5024 N. Sheridan Rd. DOWNTOWN 847-439-8840 3335 N. Halsted St. 773-728-5511 The Baton www.huntersnightclubs.com 773-525-2505 www.BigChicks.com 436 N. Clark St. John L’s Place Halsted’s Bar & Grill Crew 312-644-5269 335 154th Pl. 3441 N. Halsted St. 4804 N. Broadway Ave. www.thebatonshowlounge.com 708-862-2386 773-348-9696 773-784-CREW Club Reunion Maneuvers www.worldsgreatestbar.com Hydrate 811 W. Lake St. 118 E. Jefferson St. 3458 N. Halsted St. Eagle 312-943-5397 Joliet, IL 773-975-9244 5015 N. Clark St. Generator 815-727-7069 www.hydratechicago.com 773-728-0050 306 N. Halsted St. www.JolietManeuvers.com Kit Kat www.ChicagoEagle.com 773-738-9971 3700 N. Halsted St. El Gato Negro Gentry on State indiana 773-525-1111 1461 Irving Park Rd. 440 N. State St. www.kitkatchicago.com 773-472-9353 Dick’s R U Crazee? 312-836-0933 1221 E.150th St. Little Jim’s Hamburger Mary’s/ www.GentryofChicago.com Hammond, IN 3501 N. Halsted St. Mary’s Attic Second Story Bar 219-398-1871 773-871-6116 5400 N. Clark St. 157 E. Ohio St. www.dicksrucrazee.com Lucky Horseshoe 773-784-6969 312-923-9356 Encompass 3169 N. Halsted St. www.hamburgermaryschicago.com 2415 Rush St. 773-404-3169 Jackhammer Near North Lake Station, IN Manhandler 6406 N. Clark St. Crobar 219-962-4640 1948 N. Halsted St. 773-743-5772 www.encompassnightclub.com 1543 N. Kingsbury St. 773-871-3339 www.jackhammer-chicago.com 312-266-1900 24 April 9, 2008 Wed April 9 form to promote their cocktails and silent auc- general admission from CALOR HAH: Hombres new EP, “B+TEC.” 3159 tion, 8 p.m. dinner, cel- groups of 10 or more, Apoyendo Hombres. For N. Southport Ave., see ebrate until 1 a.m. with Whitney M. Young High gay/bi men with HIV/ www.bitchmusic.com or live music and dancing, School, tickets at www. AIDS, in Spanish. 7-9 www.myspace.com/bitch Hilton Chicago, Interna- theatermania.com p.m., 3220 W. Armitage, for more info tional Ballroom, 720 S. Crew Pub Quiz Night with 773-235-3161 ext. 223 Michigan Ave. Sister Mary Monistat, Equality Illinois Lobby Fri April 11 Davenport’s Beckie Menzie 4804 N. Broadway, 773- Day for Civil Unions in CALOR Conexiones: Social & Tom Michael perform 784-CREW, worldsgreat- Illinois. Free, busses de- support group for gay/bi in new show, Postcards estbar.com part on Chicago’s North Latino men 25 and older. from the Road: The Travel Side att 7 a.m. to Spring- Bilingual. 8-10 p.m., Show. Every Saturday in Tue April 15 field after a short stop 3220 W. Armitage, 773- April. 8 p.m., $18 cover, Crew Watch the Cubs v. in Bolingbrook, depart 6 235-3161 ext. 237 two-drink minimum, Reds at 7:05 p.m. for p.m., see www.eqil.org, Hydrate DJ Alyson Cala- 1383 N. Milwaukee Ave., your chance to win Cubs 773-477-7173 or email gna, 3458 N. Halsted St., RSVP recommended at tickets, $2.75 Bud Light [email protected] hydratechicago.com 773-278-1830 pints, 4804 N. Broadway, Windy City Gay Idol 2008 University of Illinois at Hydrate DJ Scotty Thom- 773-784-CREW, worlds- Sixth event of 6th annual Chicago Race, Sex & The son (yum!), 3458 N. Hal- greatestbar.com talent search contest. Spoken Word, an evening sted St., hydratechicago. Elmhurst College Histo- 9 p.m. signup/10 p.m. of performance and poet- com rian and professor John start, Club Krave, 13126 ry with Staceyann Chin, D’Emilio speaks on “Ho- S. Western in Blue Is- Achy Obejas, Marcus Sun April 13 mophobia and Social land, www.windycityme- Van. 8-10 p.m., 728 W. Achurch4me/MCC Worship Justice: Lessons from diagroup.com for rules/ Roosevelt Rd., free and service. 11 a.m., Center the Life of Bayard Rus- regulations open to public on Halsted’s Hoover- tin.” 7 p.m., Frick Center, Women & Children First Victory Gardens Literally Leppen Theatre, 3656 N. Founders Lounge, 630- Bookstore Isabel Al- Sexy, a very sexy variety Halsted St. 617-3033 or charleyh@ lende: The Sum of Our show, featuring The Flam- Archdiocesan Gay and elmhurst.edu for info Days. Tickets free with ing Dames, GayCo, The Lesbian Outreach Chi- Homolatte Xan and Liz book purchase, Swedish Neo-Futurists and more, cago Sunday Mass. 7 Snavely perform. 7:30 American Museum, 7:30 hosted by David Cerda, p.m., 700 W. Belmont, p.m., free, Big Chicks/ p.m., 5211 N. Clark St., $15, 10:30 p.m., 2433 N. ww.aglochicago.org, Tweet, 5124 N. Sheridan, call 773-769-9299 to Lincoln Ave., 773-871- aglochicago@sbcglobal. www.homolatte.com order book and reserve 3000, victorygardens. net, 773-525-3872 The Spot Michael Hutch- ticket org/literallysexy Brando’s L Lounge, a party ings and Keith Stonek- Women & Children First designed by women for ing’s latest cabaret, “Mi- Thu April 10 Bookstore Nancy Gold- women. 9 p.m.- 2 a.m., chael and Keith Hit the About Face Theatre Wonka stein: Jackie Ormes: The 343 S. Dearborn, free ad- Spot.” Tuesday nights, 8 Ball kick-off party. 7-9 First African-American mission p.m., $10 at door, The p.m., Hamburger Mary’s, Woman Cartoonist. 7:30 Take Back the Night- Spot, 4437 N. Broadway 5400 N. Clark St., RSVP p.m., 5233 N. Clark St., DuPage Chicago NOW to membership@about- 773-769-9299, www. members and YWCA pres- Wed April 16 facetheatre.com womenandchildrenfirst. ent social bands and Jackhammer Destination Lifeline Theatre 25th An- com non-profit organizations DJ contest, help choose niversary Benefit, featur- to raise awareness. $6, Chicago’s next top DJ, ing “Strangers with Can- Sat April 12 North Beat in Downers $8, 10 p.m., 6406 N. dy” actress Amy Sedaris. Asians and Friends Gay Grove, [email protected] for Clark St., 773-743-5772 6:30-10:30 p.m., $100 a Beach Blanket Bingo. more info Windy City Gay Idol 2008 ticket, Chicago Cultural 7-10 p.m., $10 for first Seventh event of 6th an- Center, 78 E. Washington three Bingo cards, Joel Mon April 14 nual talent search con- St., 773-761-4477 for Hall Dance Center, 1511 AIDS Foundation of Chi- test. 7 p.m. signup/8 tickets W. Berwyn, BYOB, RSVP cago Gospel benefit, p.m. start, Scarlet’s, 3320 Ronny’s Girl in a Coma per- at 312-409-1573 “Surely He’s Able to Carry N. Halsted St., www. forms, local band 8 Inch Center on Halsted Human You Through,” featuring windycitymediagroup. Betsey opens. 2101 N. First 2008 Gala, a ben- 18 vocalists from church- com for rules/regulations California Ave. 9 p.m., efit gala to support COH. es throughout Chicago. $7, www.mpshows.com Emcee/host: Kate Clin- 6:30 p.m. doors open, 7 Schubas Bitch and the ton. Honoring Dr. Pat- p.m. performance, $25 Exciting Conclusion per- rick Sheahan. 6:30 p.m. general admission, $20

25 April 9, 2008 PRESENTS

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