Shalom

tidingsA BI-MONTHLY CATHOLIC MAGAZINE FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017

WEDDING NIGHTS AND WEDDING RINGS EMILY WILSON

THE MERCY OF HOSPITALITY CARDINAL DONALD WUERL A Leper for Christ GOD BRANDON VOGT PREPARES A PATH AND LEADS US TO PEACE B eloved Mother, help us to trust in the Almighty when adverse moments arise in our lives, as you did all throughout your life. Fill us with the hope that God is in charge and His grace will set everything right this year. Amen. EDITORIAL NOTE

SEEKING HIS WILL

There are instances in our lives when we are confused about which path to take or which decision to make; for big and small matters. Every moment of our lives involves decisions, from choosing to sleep or pray, to what toothpaste to buy, what food to eat, what clothes to wear, or what words to say—all of these are daily, moment-to-moment decisions. Knowledge, wisdom, past experiences, and future goals are some of that factors which influence our decision making.

Bad decisions are sometimes the reason why we face failures in our lives. For every decision there is a positive or a negative consequence. How will we know which is the right decision? It is important that we realize the will of God in every circumstance we are experiencing. God will reveal His will to people who genuinely seek it and believe that God’s will is the best option in their lives.

There are faithful who take decisions without seeking the will of God or who make the wrong decision knowing that it is not God’s will. When problems arise, those people go to their spiritual directors or people with the gift of the Holy Spirit to know the will of God. This may not always be because of their desire to fulfill the will of God, but because of their fear of the consequences which can result from their wrong decisions. For example, a person who is dishonest in his job because he is stealing money from his company does not seek the will of God about his job; but if he is sick, he prays and seeks the will of God about the doctor he is going to see.

Through sin we do not make the right decisions. Jesus Christ taught that a person who sins is a slave to sin. A slave is unable to freely make decisions. The things that make the heart lose its freedom is sin. One of the greatest gifts God gave humanity is free will. To sustain free will we need to avoid all factors of sinfulness. Otherwise the darkness in our minds will lead us to bad decisions. In other words, it is through contrition and repentance that we gain the grace to make good decisions.

Our decisions impact our future. Therefore, before making any decision, think to yourself: “Is this the will of God? Will this bring me closer to or further away from God?” When we hold tight our own desires and make our goal luxurious lives for ourselves, we are unable to seek the will of God. The main reason that a person makes the wrong decision is because his or her ultimate goal is not eternal life. Scripture says, “This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live” (Deuteronomy 30:19).

Prayer My Lord God, many times, in my quest to fulfill my own desires, I have not sought out Your will. I regret making wrong decisions in the past. Lord, give me the grace to seek Your will and make the right decisions. Amen.

BENNY PUNNATHARA

FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 SHALOM TIDINGS 3 CONTENTS

5 Let the Letters Unfold | JEROME KILEY 8 Where Is Your Treasure | ALAN SCOTT STRAHLEN SMITH PATRON, SHALOM MINISTRIES 11 Is God Magic? Is God Real? | H.E. Baselios Cardinal Cleemis CARDINAL DONALD WUERL Major Archbishop-Catholicos of the 13 The Mercy of Hospitality | Syro-Malankara Catholic Church TOMSON SCARIA 15 What is the PSI Today? | PATRONS Bishop Bosco Puthur 19 A Leper for Christ | BRANDON VOGT Syro-Malabar Eparchy, Australia 21 Wedding Nights and Wedding Rings | EMILY WILSON Bishop Daniel E. Flores Diocese of Brownsville 24 Learning to Let Go | JOE PHILIP Bishop Mar Jacob Angadiath 27 I'm All In | TONY AGNESI Syro-Malabar Diocese, Chicago 31 The Danger of Teaching False Mercy | MARLON DE LA TORRE Bishop Thomas Mar Eusebius, Syro-Malankara Exarchate, USA 36 Call and Answer | HEIDI BOCK SPIRITUAL DIRECTOR 36 Coming Back Home | BILLY GILLESPIE Father (Dr.) Roy Palatty, C.M.I. 45 Growing Old With God | RICHARD MAFFEO EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Chevalier Benny Punnathara

CONTRIBUTING EDITOR Joe Philip

SENIOR SUB-EDITOR Mary Job

EDITORIAL COUNCIL Joseph John Jinto Mathew Loreto Xavier

DESIGN Mustard Tree (www.mustardtree.in) EXORCISM PRAYER 34 SHALOM TIDINGS February/March 2017, Volume V Issue I BRINGS RESULTS (ISSN 2327-4549) is published bi-monthly by Shalom Media -JAMEY BROWN USA Inc., 211 East Wisconsin Road, Edinburg, Texas 78539. Periodicals postage pending at Edinburg, Texas, and additional mailing offices.

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4 SHALOM TIDINGS FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 LET THE ome time ago, I was a volunteer at the Italian Home for Children, a last-chance home for children Swho either have no family or have been taken out of their families for any of a number of reasons. I would come on Wednesdays to spend time with the children, and then there would be a Bible lesson in the chapel afterwards. Other volunteers would come, too, and children would be matched up with a volunteer for the chapel time. Someone would lead the lesson, either the LETTERS in-house Franciscan sister, Sister Margaret, or one of the volunteers. In one class, in early November, there was a woman from a nearby church teaching the class. She asked the children, “There is a big holiday coming up soon— what’s it called?” To my amazement, no one knew! After a pause, I leaned over to the girl next to me and whispered, “It begins with a ‘T’.” Well, the boy behind us heard the whisper and his hand shot up. “Oh! Oh! Oh!,” UNFOLD By Jerome Kiley

FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 SHALOM TIDINGS 5 THEY THAT HOPE IN THE LORD WILL he began. The teacher looked at him with relief and said, RENEW THEIR “Okay, what is it?” And the boy blurted out with all the enthusiasm that clear, unfettered certainty can convey: STRENGTH “TOMORROW!” ISAIAH 40:31 He had the first letter and thought he knew the whole word! A while back there was a YouTube video that went viral around the Internet. It was about a woman on the descendants, or where he was going to end up. God only TV gameshow “Wheel of Fortune” who was able to guess gave him the first step to take. Abraham had to let the a whole phrase when she only knew one letter. The video steps unfold. went viral because it is almost impossible to guess a When the time comes for God to call you and reveal whole phrase when you only have one letter! In reality, what your life-long love is, you will not know where you you have to let the letters unfold until you get that certain are going to end up. You do not know the whole word at “Aha!” the start—you only get one letter at a time. You have to One day, about fifteen years ago, I went for the first reach a point where you really get an authentic “Aha!” of time into one particular church in Boston with the light. For that, there is only one thing to do. conviction in my mind that I would find my life-long Let the letters unfold. love in that very Mass. That day, the priest preached a homily unlike anything I had ever heard. I then thought, “I want to do that!” And a word came to my mind: priest. I thought that God had just shown me that I am called to be a Catholic priest. But that never really sat well with me. Well, you know the problem: I only had the first letter © JEROME KILEY is a lay missionary who lives in Boston and Ecuador. A whispered to me and I thought I knew the whole word! former engineer and basketball coach who was won over by the mercy When God called Abraham, He basically said: leave of Jesus, Kiley dedicated himself to a broad array of lay pastoral and your land and go to a place that I will show you. Abraham outreach ministries in the Catholic Church before reaching Ecuador in had no idea his name would change in the process, 2010. He loves the people of Ecuador and is happy living the Gospel and sharing it. You can find his reflections at www.ALivingMonstrance. he had no idea what the journey would be like or how wordpress.com, and in 2017, you will be able to discover more about his long it would take, he had no idea how he would have mission to Ecuador at www.barriers2bridges.com.

6 SHALOM TIDINGS FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 Every third Saturday of the month at 7:30PM ET/GMT

SHALOM WORLD'S new original series brings viewers a big joyful Catholic family. This program brings the concept of family in God's plan--as a small community of faith, hope, and charity; while breaking common misconceptions related to big families. Discover the challenges, love, and joy involved in the faith journey of truly joyful families. www.shalomworldtv.org WHERE IS YOUR

TREASURE? By Alan Scott

8 SHALOM TIDINGS FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 or years I lived a life that was not very healthy. started caring about what was good for me. I developed a “less-is- I am not talking about bad food and little exercise. I mean, more” way of thinking (except for my garden perhaps!). F sure, there is that, but that is not where I am going with this. And with all these time-consuming things now removed from my What I am talking about is that I was leading a life that was not life, I attempted to give more time to things that matter, especially very conducive to maintaining a healthy soul. Although, we can use in my relationship with God. as a comparison consuming unhealthy food and drink: when we Now, with that said, that does not mean that I have given my tend to over-indulge in too much red meat, too much sugar, or too heart perfectly over to things that truly matter. I continue to be a much alcohol, the negative side effects creep up on us, and soon work in progress. I fully admit that I allow too much social media enough, start to take their toll. into my life. And I am not exactly sure why. Unless finding out Likewise, other things we put into our minds and into our what burger my friend had for lunch (and snapped a picture of) is hearts also tend to take their toll on our interior. Treasure that is somehow beneficial to my life. not perhaps real treasure. And I am working on this. I am purposely spending far less time on Facebook and Instagram. I am rarely on Twitter anymore, and WE BECOME WHAT WE CONSUME I am about ninety percent ready to shut down my Twitter account We basically become what we consume on a daily basis. entirely. And as for all the other social this-or-that apps out there, I Just as how we tend to become unhealthy if we eat too much have made a promise to myself to never start using them. unhealthy food, this is also true in regards to the shows we watch, But everyone is different. Some people may not even use social the books we read, the music we listen to, and the Internet we media, or are great at limiting themselves to only perusing social often spend countless hours on. All of this, our supposed treasure. sites for a few minutes a day. Each of these things, often without our direct knowledge, will begin to shape our minds and our hearts. And this is very AN HONEST ASSESSMENT OF OUR TREASURES important. Each person must ask themselves: what am I giving my time to? Just as we often in life make a decision to eat healthier, or walk My heart to? My soul to? And the most important part of this more often, perhaps we should also take a time out to determine if evaluation: you have to be honest with yourself. what we are feeding ourselves on a daily basis—the non-food type As human beings, we were created to worship. Everyone has of consuming—is what is best for us. chosen his own path. Those who choose to worship God give Is playing video games for a couple hours each day serving us their hearts to Him and let everything else take a second, third, well? Is spending over an hour each day reading status updates on etc. place. Those who choose not to worship God will worship Facebook helping us to be better people? Is watching and reading something—always. It could be their car, sports, a person, a pet— the mainstream news creating negativity in our lives? Is caring the list goes on. about which celebrities are dating doing anything to improve our Where your treasure is, there also will be your heart. What are lives? you giving your heart to? I cannot answer those questions for you, but I can speak from my personal experience. WHERE IS YOUR TREASURE? About twelve years ago, I moved into my current home. Because If you immediately start to defend the time you spend on certain I spent so much time in front of the television in my previous aspects of your life, the exercise is futile. You must go deep into apartment, I decided that for my new life in my new home, I would your heart for the answer. And by doing this, you can bring about have no television. After a couple of months without it, a surprised positive changes into your life that you never imagined, or even friend of mine asked me if I missed watching TV. thought possible. The answer was no. Always choose carefully what you surround yourself with. The changes you make might just change your life. TREASURES REALIZED I realized that my life had drastically improved without television. Instead of staring at a box all morning and evening, watching shows that had no positive impact on my life, I was actually doing things that did have a positive impact. I was reading more. I was spending time with friends and family. I was outside planting a garden. I was learning more about my faith. © ALAN SCOTT is a writer and graphic designers residing in Virginia. A former I was living. agnostic, Scott converted to the Catholic Faith in 2004. In 2014, he started www. And broadcast television has never made an appearance back GrowInVirtue.com, a blog about the journey towards a life filled with more virtue, faith, into my home since. I also unsubscribed to many of the magazines simplicity, generosity, and far less complexity—all held together by a love for God. It is I was receiving, especially those filled with news (world and his account of the personal joys and struggles that we all seem to have in common, written with a hope to challenge and inspire others. Scott’s work has been published entertainment), and those that promoted superficiality. I stopped on the Catholic Exchange, One Peter Five, The Stream, and The Remnant. Reprinted caring about trends—what other people thought was important, and with permission.

FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 SHALOM TIDINGS 9 aving a family can feel like you need to give of yourself twenty-four hours a day, seven days a Hweek. This is true whether you spend most of your waking hours at your career or at home with the kids. And WE-TIME yet, this feeling is not limited to family life. It is part of the life of service to which every Christian is called. Imagine the daily life of a priest in a typical suburban parish. Every minute of their days seems filled with IS BETTER THAN celebrating Sacraments, saying Masses, and endless phone calls and meetings. Priests typically have more “spiritual children” than any layperson could ever have. Religious brothers and sisters are not exempt, either. The Benedictine philosophy of work, for example, is 8 ME-TIME hours of work, 8 hours of prayer, and 8 hours of rest. (Think prayer is not demanding work? You try praying for By Karee Santos 8 hours.) In short, the life of a Christian always requires giving until it hurts. This does not mean that leisure time or relaxation is bad (unless it is totally self-centered!). Leisure time spent in strengthening our relationship with family and friends can renew our spirits and bring joy to our life. Leisure time spent developing our talents can bring us closer to the person God wants us to be. It can also help us to enjoy God’s creation. For example, Saint Pope John Paul II frequently spent time in the great outdoors, hiking and skiing in the natural beauty that God created. Leisure time is actually a wonderful gift from God. On the seventh day of creation of the world, God rested and showed us that rest was good (Genesis 2:2-3). Rest is necessary to restore our physical and mental health. You could almost call it a duty. Jesus Himself once commanded the apostles, “Come away … and rest a while” (Mark 6:31). Rest is not the same as “me-time,” which today’s culture relentlessly attempts to convince us we need. Can you imagine telling Saint Teresa of Calcutta that she just needed a little “me-time” at the mall, with a coffee-shop latte or a fast-food burger? True leisure is also not slumping on the couch watching hour after hour of questionable television shows that leave us feeling drained rather than rested. Healthy, holy rest rejuvenates us so that we can resume work more energetically and cheerfully, ready to share with others what God has given us.

© KAREE SANTOS is the founder of the Can We Cana? (www. canwecana.blogspot.com) blog and also has written for Catholic Match Institute, Catholic Digest, National Catholic Register, and CatholicMom. com. Together with her husband Manuel Santos, M.D., she co-authored “The Four Keys to Everlasting Love: How Your Catholic Marriage Can Bring You Joy for a Lifetime” (Ave Maria Press, 2016). The Santos’ designed and taught a pre-Cana marriage preparation course, and they write a monthly marriage advice column on CatholicMom.com called “Marriage Rx.” They also contribute to FAITH magazine's “Your Marriage Matters” advice column. The couple live in Long Island, New York, with their six children.

10 SHALOM TIDINGS FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 IS GOD MAGIC? IS GOD REAL? OUR REAL

LIFEVS MAGIC By Strahlen Smith

he church was quiet. The congregation listening with varying I smiled, “God can do ANYTHING—even more than magic. degrees of attentiveness to the pastor’s sermon. Unfortunately, God knows everything. He can do anything. He is all powerful. Tmy four year old was one of those less attentive members. God IS real, Kaleb” “Mommy, is God magic?” his clear high pitched voice whispered “Ohhhhh…” whispered my sweet baby, and then he sat thinking loud enough for those in nearby pews to hear. I could picture him quietly for about thirty seconds before becoming distracted by thinking Harry Potter, Mickey Mouse kind of magic. whatever caught his attention next. “No sweetie.” I whispered trying to hush him quickly. But I could not leave the conversation so quickly. If you had Immediate disappointment swept over his face, and I knew I asked me years ago to describe the childhood that I wanted to give had to clarify. my children, I would have summed it up in one word—magical.

GOD IS REAL MY IMAGINARY, MAGICAL LIFE “God is better than magic, baby,” I whispered. “Magic is pretend. I would have pictured the ideal family—beginning with a two parent God is real.” household, a couple of kids, and maybe a dog thrown in for good He looked at me with his widening eyes, “Is God real life?” measure. I could see the wheels turning in his little head. “Can God do I would have spoken of pancake breakfasts together on magic?” weekends, family barbecues in the summer, and trips to our local

FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 SHALOM TIDINGS 11 IF YOU HAD ASKED ME YEARS AGO TO DESCRIBE THE CHILDHOOD THAT I WANTED TO GIVE MY CHILDREN, I WOULD HAVE SUMMED IT UP IN ONE WORD— MAGICAL. ice cream stand at every opportunity. check on my little one at bath time, and tuck all my little cherubs I would have told of vacations spent camping and seeing our into their beds. great country, participating in church activities—everything from Our lives are still wrapped in love and laughter. We choose pro-life meet ups to Veteran’s Day food drives, and attending to wrap our lives in laughter and love. Mom loves the children. sporting events—hiking, canoeing, sleigh riding, basketball, Children love the mom. Children love each other. baseball, football, whatever! Do I wish there was husband loving wife here? Absolutely. That I would have talked of playing good cop/bad cop at the dinner is part of my magical family, my magical life. But it was also unreal, table with children who did not want to eat their vegetables, tag a dream, a fantasy. I had lived in an illusion of what I had hoped it teaming sleepy little ones at bath time, and reading bedtime would be. stories to cozy sweet smelling cherubs tucked in their beds. Our life now may not be magical, but it is real. And real is better And all of it would be enveloped in love and laughter. Husband than magical. Real is what is given to us by God. loving wife. Parents loving children. Children loving parents. And God is real. God knows everything. He can do ANYTHING. Children loving each other. He is all powerful. The life I was to give my children was wrapped in love and And, because of that, our real life is really good, even better laughter—magical! than magic. And for that I can be really thankful.

OUR REAL, REAL LIFE Now, as a single mom, life is not what I pictured. That dream of the magical childhood I wanted to provide my children with is gone. And yet, when I look at my life, we still make pancakes, have © STRAHLEN SMITH is a single mom of five boys. Smith hopes to reach out to barbecues and eat too much ice cream—way too much ice cream! other divorced and hurting Catholics and let them know there is Hope and Love We still go camping, participate in church activities, and attend in the Catholic Church. Today, she and her five sons work hard for everything that comes their way, but they are also successful, happy, and faithful. They enjoy camping, sporting events. sports, and (highly competitive) board games. Check out more of their story at www. I now fight more creatively to get my kids to eat their vegetables, SingleMomSmiling.com. Reprinted with permission.

12 SHALOM TIDINGS FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 THE MERCY OF

HOSPITALITY By Cardinal Donald Wuerl

ravel to any community in the country and you will likely find motels, hotels and restaurants that T are happy to provide you – for a price – a room for the night or a hot meal. So extensive is the modern hospitality industry that some schools even offer degrees in managing these services. It is all a very convenient and useful social good. Traditionally, however, the concept of hospitality has had a rather different meaning, one that did not involve the payment of money in return. This older concept of hospitality, observed in many cultures, more resembled the gratuitous reception that is given now to family, friends, neighbors, co-workers and other guests. On this smaller, more personal level, it is an almost ingrained ethic today to ask a visitor – whether in the home or the office – “Welcome. Would you like something to drink? Something to eat?” A good host wants his or her guest to be comfortable. We open our homes also for holidays, parties, graduations, funerals, and we host wedding receptions, offering food, drink, sometimes entertainment or a place to stay, and just as important, camaraderie. Mothers and grandmothers are especially renowned for their hospitality, not only to their own family members, but to others as well. How many of us remember going to a friend’s house when we were growing up and being asked if we were staying for dinner? This hospitality extends outside the home as well, expressed in etiquette and social conventions of holding the door for others, giving up your seat to a pregnant woman or older person, offering a portion of your lunch to someone who has none. Our parishes too should be places of warm welcome and sustenance. In these small ways, these small mercies, we help make the world a little bit better. This attitude of hospitality and warm welcome, sometimes expressed as, “Mi casa es su casa – My house is your house,” was in older times even freely

FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 SHALOM TIDINGS 13 extended to complete strangers and travelers, rich Holy Scripture provides an example of the hospitality and poor alike, including foreigners. Before the age of we should practice when the Lord appeared to Abraham interstate highways and pervasive hotels and restaurants, in the form of three men. Abraham waited on this it was understood to be a vital social virtue, religious manifestation of the Trinity, providing food, shelter from ethic and moral duty for both the elite and common the hot sun, and water for the three visitors to wash their people to open their doors and show generosity and feet. The Lord then blesses Abraham and his wife Sarah courtesy to those away from home and widows and with a son in their old age (Genesis 18:1-16). In the orphans too. Of course, the clergy and monasteries of the First Book of Kings, we read how the widow Zarephath Church opened their spiritual homes as well to provide received the prophet Elijah and, even though she was hospitality to people in need. in dire straits with her food nearly gone, she gave him a The roots of this hospitality go back to the ancient portion. Again God gives his blessing – Zarephath is given world. Particularly in places like the desert regions of enough food to survive and when her son dies, the Lord the Middle East, access to water, food and shelter was a restores him to life (1 Kings 17:8-24). matter of life and death for a traveler. God in his mercy “Do not neglect hospitality, for through it some had provided these necessities to his chosen people have unknowingly entertained angels,” we are told and so he instructs them, “You shall treat the stranger (Hebrews 13:2). Having been received in mercy by the who sojourns with you as the native among you, and you Lord, hospitality is among the essential qualities that shall love him as yourself, for you were strangers in the he expects of his good and faithful people, including land of Egypt” (Leviticus 19:34). The Lord commands concern not only for family and friends, but for those we this kindness be show to even foreigner travelers despite do not know, for domestic travelers, foreign immigrants foreign domination being a constant prime concern of and refugees, and for all who are downtrodden, Israel. vulnerable and marginalized. Whether it is in the home, at work, in the Church, or in our nation, as a matter of justice and gratitude for what we have been given, we are called to be welcoming and hospitable to others. By these acts of gratuitousness, we help build up the kingdom of God. IF YOU HAVE GOD AS THE CENTER OF ALL YOUR ACTIONS, YOU WILL REACH THE GOAL. BLESSED PIER GIORGIO FRASSATI

© CARDINAL DONALD WUERL (www.cardinalsblog.adw.org) serves as Archbishop of the Diocese of Washington, D.C. He is known for his teaching ministry and is involved in many education, health care, and social service organizations. Cardinal Wuerl is the author of numerous articles and over a dozen books. He serves on a number of national and international bodies and is chairman of the Board of Trustees of the Basilica of the National Shrine of the Immaculate Conception, chancellor of The Catholic University of America, chairman of the board of the Pope John Paul II Cultural Foundation and also of The Papal Foundation. He serves on various Vatican Congregations, Councils, and Commissions including those for the Doctrine of the Faith and for Bishop. Cardinal Wuerl has served as chairman of numerous committees of the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops. Reprinted with permission.

14 SHALOM TIDINGS FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 WHAT IS THE PSI TODAY? By Tomson Scaria

ecently Singapore, Malaysia, and Indonesia index greater than 300 is considered as hazardous. experienced severe haze which caused even the This got me to thinking about another PSI—the Rschools to be closed for a day. The air pollution `Personal Spirituality Index’ which is an indication of was so much that people were affected by respiratory one’s spiritual condition. Any wise person will take time illnesses, flight delays, and traffic, etc. Protective masks to monitor his PSI level so that his soul is always in a were distributed to help those who were going outdoors. safe zone. When the pollutants (sin) affect his soul, then The effect of the haze was measured by an indicator sicknesses start showing up. Minor level of pollutants called PSI (pollution standard index) which is a type of will show up as venial sins. When the pollution level air quality index, used to give an easily understandable increases, the bigger effects shows up as capital sins indicator of how polluted the air is. If the PSI is greater and mortal sins which lead the soul to dangerous levels. than 200, it is considered as very unhealthy and an Wearing a mask can only give limited protection in a

FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 SHALOM TIDINGS 15 strong hazy condition. In the spiritual life, we too often the time of fulfillment. The kingdom of God is at hand. resort to wearing masks—first of all by telling ourselves Repent, and believe in the gospel” (Mark 1:15). The that we are ok and are like everyone else and secondly Apostles too followed His example and announced, showing others a nice picture of ourselves, hiding the real “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name self inside, which is in an infected state. At the slightest of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins; and you provocation, the real self will come out as abuse, hurtful will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. For the promise is words, revenge, etc. God says in Matthew 15:8, “But made to you and to your children and to all those far off, the things that come out of the mouth come from the whomever the Lord our God will call” (Acts 2: 38-39). The heart, and they defile. For from the heart come evil Church with her prophetic role is also asking us to do the thoughts, murder, adultery, unchastity, theft, false witness, same. blasphemy.” In John’s Gospel, we read that “Some of the Pharisees The permanent solution to eliminate haze in who were with him heard this and said to him, “Surely Singapore is to put out the fire from its source in the we are not also blind, are we?” (9: 40-41). Jesus said to forests of Indonesia. Similarly in our spiritual life too, them, “If you were blind, you would have no sin; but now the real solution is to clean the inside often whenever you are saying, ‘We see,’ so your sin remains.” darkness starts precipitating; which needs real a We must ask Lord Jesus to open our eyes to see the thorough cleansing, i.e. a deep rooted repentance hazy conditions of our souls, and beg Him to lead us to associated with fasting and prayers, followed by a sincere a deep-rooted repentance, so that we turn to Him for confession and filling the soul with the light of Jesus the cleansing of our own souls and to be missionary through the sacraments and the Word of God. Then we disciples. will be able to see clearly and live healthy, and others What is your PSI reading today? also will be able to see us as we are. This is what Prophet Jonah told the people of Nineveh, © TOMSON SCARIA is an engineer who resides in Malaysia with his wife, Pearly, and their three children. He is a lay preacher and has “Forty days more and Nineveh shall be overthrown,” been involved in numerous Catholic Charismatic and Catholic youth (Jonah 3:4). Jesus also proclaimed the same, “This is organizations over the years.

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Subscribe online at www.Shalomworld.org/tidings or download the Shalom Tidings App in Google Play or on iTunes. MARRIAGETHREE ‘SINGLE’ THOUGHTS ON By Jessica Keating

THOUGHT 1: Marriage is a gift. make you an interesting person to be around. Meet the Single people often hear the message, “If you want to get Holy Father. Go on pilgrimage. Be holier. Do not curse. married, make yourself someone worthy of marriage.” It Pray more. And for goodness sake—find a patron saint is in magazines and media. It is in the advice of friends to pour your lonely heart out to because people do not and parents. Be interesting. Take up another hobby. want to hear about it! Also be skinnier, happier, and Smile more. Make yourself more beautiful, skinnier, and more beautiful. If you just become a better Catholic, you happier. Be aggressive. Go after what you want. It is in will find a spouse. The obvious implication in “worthy-of- the competitive air that we breathe. Marriage is seen as marriage” talk is that being unmarried is the fault of the a personal achievement. It is a life goal, a marker that single person. In the words of Janis Joplin, “You just gotta you have made it: You are one of the elite, the worthy try a little bit harder.” ones, willing to do the hard work of earning marriage. The very idea of making oneself “worthy-of-marriage” And if you are not willing to work hard, you will be left undercuts the reality of sacramental marriage, which is out. It is a dog-eat-dog world. Blood, sweat, and tears, not a reward for the holy but a gift for holiness. The love and all that. This is a battle, people! of another cannot be earned; we cannot make ourselves The Catholic world talks about being “worthy-of- worthy of being held in the gaze of the beloved. Indeed, marriage” a little differently, but it is the same idea. to demand that another love us or to think that we could Read more “Theology of the Body.” Have experiences that earn their love is actually a kind of anti-love, the basis

OCTOBER/NOVEMBER 2016 SHALOM TIDINGS 17 that always makes a claim on you. Sacramental vows initiate spouses into a life-long process of learning the meaning and discipline of love. Marriage is a school of love. In the words of Wendell Berry, spouses continually practice “submitting to the redemptive power of love,” by which they “‘die’ into their union with one another as a soul ‘dies’ into union with God” (Sex, Economy, Freedom and Community, 137; 138). It is the heart of community life because in marriage our love learns to bear with the indignities of life, the idiosyncrasies of the beloved who hums absentmindedly, who of which becomes coercive. The love exchanged between never gets the dishes cleaned, or who laughs when they spouses is entirely unmerited. Man and wife stand before are uncomfortable. one another and before God, impoverished, unworthy, Marriage is a discipline of making room for the and loved. vulnerabilities of the other. It takes everything. You cannot be partially in because partially in will not get THOUGHT 2: Marriage is a discipline. you through the messes, the real messes of disease, Gymnast Simone Biles captivated me during the addiction, heartache, and loneliness. But if you are all in, Olympics last summer. I even tweeted her to tell her the messes become the icons of hope. that I liked her commercial for CorePower, which was all about her commitment and discipline to her sport—and THOUGHT 3: Marriage makes room CorePower, I guess. The tag line of the commercial was, for others. “Yeah, I could’ve hit snooze.” The discipline of marriage makes space for others. For someone who hits snooze five or six times in Marriage is a particular form of commitment, but not an the morning, I felt galvanized to break this bad habit. isolated self-enclosure of two individuals and no more I did not, not even once. Simone Biles is not a great except for the occasional dinner party. Marriage is “the gymnast because she does not hit snooze; she is great heart of community life,” making room for children, for because she is disciplined, and not hitting snooze is a godparents, for friends, and for the poor. “Lovers,” writes small practice of discipline. Like gymnastics or writing Berry, “must not, like usurers, live for themselves alone. or praying, marriage is a discipline—it is the doing of the They must finally turn from their gaze at one another thing day-in and day-out. back toward the community…. They say their vows to the A natural parallel to the idea of “making yourself community as much as to one another” (137-8). worthy for marriage” is the idea that marriage is a reward; Some of the marriages I most admire are those that that it fits into the overall program of self-improvement invite others into family life, where front doors are left and personal happiness. This is why it is so easy to open for the friend who might walk in unannounced, opt-out when we find our results have plateaued and where babies are turned over to whomever might be able our happiness decreased. Marriage is not a promise of to lend a hand, where children often have snot crusted happiness. It is the promise of love. It is a discipline, on their noses and dirt under their fingernails, where the and disciplines require commitment and sacrifice. It floors are sticky from who-knows-what and are littered means waking up to the same face, day after day, year with blocks and musical instruments. Marriage makes after year—a face that will grow increasingly time-worn room for human messiness, for the chaotic practice of and imprinted with the joys and sorrows of life. It means love that radiates out from its bonds and draws others in. meeting the gaze of another, a gaze that will sometimes sparkle with joy and pierce the heart, a gaze that will © JESSICA KEATING is the director of the Office of Human Dignity and Life Initiatives in the Institute for Church Life at the University of Notre sometimes be clouded with anger and contempt, a gaze Dame. Article originally appeared on the Church Life Journal (www. that will sometimes be exhausted and indifferent, a gaze churchlife.nd.edu). Reprinted with permission.

18 SHALOM TIDINGS FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 A LEPER FOR CHRIST Saint Damian of Molokai and Solidarity By Brandon Vogt

hen Damien de Veuster arrived in Hawaii in missionary work. He asked the local bishop for 1864, he found an island-community beset permission to go to Molokai, and the bishop not only Wby infections. Over the years, travelers and granted approval, but personally accompanied Damien to seamen had introduced diseases like influenza and the island. He introduced Damien to the 816 community syphilis. Yet none were as bad as Hansen’s Disease, members as “one who will be a father to you and who more commonly known as leprosy. First reported in loves you so much that he does not hesitate to become Hawaii in 1840, leprosy devastated people in many one of you, to live and die with you." ways. First, because the disease was highly contagious This introduction did not surprise Damien, who had no and untreatable until the 1930s, people contracting illusions about what his mission would entail. He knew it had no hope of recovery. This often led to deep working in the disease-ridden colony virtually guaranteed depression among its sufferers. Second, leprosy caused that he would become infected too. Yet he never wavered a progressive degeneration of their skin, eyes, and limbs. in his commitment. It thus disfigured people and eventually immobilized At first, the conditions around the lepers proved them. Finally, few diseases isolated people from their overwhelming. Damien often felt as if he had opened a communities as much as leprosy. Sufferers were seen as door to hell. Victims wandered about, their bodies in ruin outcasts and cautioned to stay away from everyone else. and their constant coughing the island’s most familiar In 1866, to curb the spread of the disease, Hawaiian sound. Damien could hardly bear the stench: authorities decided to consign lepers to an isolated "Many a time in fulfilling my priestly duties at the community on the island of Molokai. On three sides, the lepers' homes, I have been obliged, not only to close colony, called Kalaupapa, bordered the Pacific Ocean, my nostrils, but to remain outside to breathe fresh air. and the fourth side featured massive, 1,600-foot cliffs. To counteract the bad smell, I got myself accustomed to Once the lepers were out of sight and no longer a threat the use of tobacco. The smell of the pipe preserved me to the general population, the government turned a blind somewhat from carrying in my clothes the obnoxious eye to their basic needs. Shipments of food and supplies odor of our lepers." slowed down, and the government removed most of Eventually Damien overcame the distressing sights its personnel. The result was a highly dysfunctional and smells. His superiors had given him strict advice: community marked by poverty, alcoholism, violence, and “Do not touch them. Do not allow them to touch you. Do promiscuity. not eat with them.” But Damien made the decision to Puritan missionaries became convinced that leprosy transcend his fear of contagion and enter into solidarity stemmed from the people’s licentiousness. But Damien with the Molokai lepers. He committed to visit every leper knew that was not true. He believed the people on on the island and to inquire of their needs. Molokai were basically good, not corrupt, and that sin One early realization was that to show the lepers the did not cause the spread of the disease. value of their lives, he had to first demonstrate the value In time, Damien came to see the neglected colony of their deaths. So he built a fence around the local as the answer to his boyhood longings for adventurous cemetery, which pigs and dogs regularly scavenged. He

FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 SHALOM TIDINGS 19 also constructed coffins and dug graves, committing Clifford in 1888, "and the cheerful people, the lovely that each leper, even if marginalized throughout his life, landscapes, and comparatively painless life were all would receive a decent burial upon death. This had a surprises. These poor people seemed singularly happy." remarkably uplifting effect on the community. Despite the idyllic community Damien had built Damien also devoted his attention to the sick. He through a decade of work, the moment he feared finally brought the sacraments to bedridden lepers. He washed arrived in December 1884. One day, while soaking his their bodies and bandaged their wounds. He tidied their feet in extremely hot water, Damien experienced no rooms and did all he could to make them as comfortable sensation of heat or pain—a tell-tale sign that he had as possible. contracted leprosy. The disease quickly developed, What surprised the lepers most was that Damien causing Damien to write to his bishop with the news: touched them. Other missionaries and doctors shrank “Its marks are seen on my left cheek and ear, and my from the lepers. In fact, one local doctor only changed eyebrows are beginning to fall. I shall soon be completely bandages with his cane. But Damien not only touched disfigured. I have no doubt whatever of the nature of the lepers, he also embraced them, he dined with them, my illness, but I am calm and resigned and very happy he put his thumb on their forehead to anoint them, and in the midst of my people. The good God knows what is he placed the Eucharist on their tongues. All of these best for my sanctification. I daily repeat from my heart, actions spoke volumes to the dejected lepers. They ‘Thy will be done.’” showed that Damien did not want to serve them from Soon, he also wrote home to his brother: “I make afar; he wanted to become one of them. myself a leper with the lepers to gain all to Jesus Christ.” Damien was careful never to present himself as Even before contracting the disease, Damien spoke a messianic figure, soaring in from a higher, more of himself and the people of Molokai as “we lepers.” He privileged position. He invited lepers to join in the work, identified closely with those he came to serve and thus, turning his service to the community into an act of before and after the disease, offered a powerful, concrete solidarity. He had them help build everything from coffins expression of solidarity. And it was for that reason he to cottages. When the colony expanded along the island’s become known not by his homeland, but by the island peninsula, his leper friends helped construct a new road. community he served—Saint Damien of Molokai, patron Under his supervision, the lepers even blasted away of lepers. rocks on the shoreline to create a new docking facility. Damien also taught the lepers to farm, raise animals, © BRANDON VOGT (www.BrandonVogt.com) is the Content play musical instruments, and sing. Although the lepers Director at Word on Fire Catholic Ministries. He is an award- were used to being patronized or bullied, Damien spread winning writer, blogger, speaker. He's been featured by several media among them a new cheer and sense of worth. outlets including NPR, CBS, FoxNews, SiriusXM, and EWTN. Brandon This refreshing spirit impressed visitors to the island. converted to Catholicism in 2008, and in 2011 he released his first book, “The Church and New Media: Blogging Converts, Online Activists, "I had gone to Molokai expecting to find it scarcely less and Bishops Who Tweet” (Our Sunday Visitor, 2011). Vogt lives with his dreadful than hell itself," wrote Englishman Edward wife, Kathleen, and their four children in Central Florida.

20 SHALOM TIDINGS FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 WEDDING NIGHTS WEDDING&

RINGS By Emily Wilson

nyone who has walked the road can tell you… healthy eating and exercising has made a difference saving sex for marriage is a challenging journey. within days or weeks, it makes it easier to press on. AYou can listen intently to people who say it is But the commitment to save sex for marriage is not worthwhile and read all about it and see some concrete like a weight loss journey, or paying off your graduate fruits of it in your dating relationships, and believe school loans little by little and watching the dollar wholeheartedly that it will all have been worth the wait if amount go down. There is no way to really know in the you enter into a new life with a carefully chosen spouse. thick of it just how worthwhile it will be to endure all the Everyone who makes this choice makes it for a different name-calling and laughter in a world that tells you sex is reason… some make it for reasons based on faith, some as casual and commonplace as ordering a pizza. people make it for health reasons, and some people I have walked the road with all it entails. This is what recognize the many benefits outside of faith that come I have learned; I want to share it with you from the other along with such a commitment. Whatever the rationale side. behind the choice, it is a challenging journey filled with Saving sex for marriage is worthwhile because the tough decisions, hard conversations, and plenty of snide day after your wedding night you see this ring on your left commentary and patronizing remarks. hand. I picked a sparkly double row diamond band and This decision, however, is not like other tough long- he chose a white gold pipe cut band. We shopped long term decisions. Consider a weight loss journey —when you and hard to find the perfect ones. decide to lose forty pounds—you work off ten and you There is a common misconception about wedding can feel yourself thinking, “Wow! This is worthwhile. I’m rings, and I know this because I am a woman who has going to keep at it even though it’s really tough.” When been in conversations with groups of friends about you have tangible proof that every little hard choice of attractive men observed in public—women trying to

FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 SHALOM TIDINGS 21 check to see if he has a ring. When they see the ring on his left hand flash by: “Darn it, he’s married!” Here is the thing, though—this ring does not just mean that he is married. His ring is a sign that a woman promised her life to him. The ring is a sign of her promise, not his. The one she wears is the sign of his promise. As he puts the ring on her hand, he says to her, “I give you this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity.” So when you see a wedding ring on someone’s hand, it is a concrete sign that there is someone, somewhere in the world who promised to love that person forever. On New Year’s Eve 2015, I woke up with a sparkly wedding ring on my hand. The day before, my spouse had placed it on my hand and promised to love me—in good times and bad, in sickness and in health, for all the days of his life. Waiting until that ring was on my hand to give my virginity to a man was the best decision I have ever made (other than my decision to follow Jesus, of course).

This ring on my hand was the assurance that none of those questions were necessary. This ring meant he would call. It meant that he would still be around in three weeks, six months, and five years.

Why? Because this ring did not leave any room It is a worthwhile decision to save sex for marriage— for worry. This ring eliminated any possibility of regret, whether you ever end up getting married or not. And even panic, or fear. This ring made it impossible for me to if you have not waited until that ring was on your hand, worry about what would happen next. It eliminated the you can decide to begin anew today. I have countless questions that can fill people’s heads after sex with a friends who came to an impactful day in their lives when stranger, with a boyfriend or girlfriend, with a friend: Will they decided that, “From this day forward, I will wait for he call? What is she thinking? What did I just do? Are my husband or wife.” Do not underestimate the power of we now in a relationship? What happens now? What if our good God who promises to make all things new. someone finds out? What if I get pregnant? Should I feel My friends, there is often great difficulty in making guilty? commitments which uphold our dignity, worth, and This ring on my hand was the assurance that none value—these resolutions consistently go against of those questions were necessary. This ring meant he everything the culture proclaims from the rooftops about would call. It meant that he would still be around in three who we are and what is good and what love is. But these weeks, six months, and five years. It meant that if I got are the decisions which bring about true fulfillment, pregnant, he would be right beside me for every moment lasting peace, and authentic love. These are the of the pregnancy, of raising a child, of seeing that child decisions you will never regret. These are the decisions into adulthood. It did not leave any room for feeling guilty, which made our wedding night beautiful. sad, regretful, or scared. It only made way for feelings of © EMILY WILSON planned her whole life to become a sports reporter deep joy, peace, and the knowledge that I am loved—all but ended up as a Catholic musician and speaker at the hands of God. of me—exactly as I am. She lives out of her suitcase and travels across the world speaking Do not let anyone convince you otherwise. and singing with people of all ages. The heart of her ministry is offering Waiting until that ring is on your hand is the best thing encouragement to teen girls in their search for their true identity. “The world doesn’t need what women have, it needs what women are.” Saint you could ever do for your current self, your future self, Teresa Benedicta of the Cross. You can visit her website and listen to her and your future marriage. music at www.emwilsonmusic.com.

22 SHALOM TIDINGS FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 JOIN OUR GLOBAL MISSION OF EVANGELIZATION This is a call to partner in prayer and pledge financial support with our international ministry that is bringing Christ to the ends of the earth through television, the Internet, through retreats and educational conferences, via publications, and through community engagement.

Donate today by visiting ShalomWorld.org/donate! LEARNING TO LET GO By Joe Philip

efore I got married, my future wife challenged me felt that I did not need to revisit the past. However, my with a simple request. She suggested that I go on a fiancée noticed what I could not—that even though I Bretreat to work on my faith and revisit some issues had moved forward in my life, I clearly had a hard time that I had experienced in my past. I laughed. I reminded looking back. God was at work through her. To really grow her that I go on retreats all the time. In fact, I was just deeper in my relationship with her and Him, I had some on a retreat the previous weekend. She then pointed out work to do. that I was not on a retreat, but that I was giving a retreat. So, I signed up for a retreat. And not just any retreat, (Working in Catholic youth ministry, I tend to lead a lot of I went all out—I signed up for a silent retreat. In the retreats for young people on a regular basis.) ensuing weeks leading up to it and the months preceding Now, not including the retreats that I had led, she it, I discovered many things about God and myself. asked me, “When was the last time you had gone on First, even though I did not care much for silence—let a retreat for yourself?” At this point, I was no longer alone silent retreats—it was good to give God permission laughing. In fact, I was ashamed. It had been years. and opportunity to encounter me in ways that are not I liked to believe that I was future-focused and so I always comfortable. A silent retreat is not my style. No

24 SHALOM TIDINGS FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 good things, mind you)—could I encounter His presence in a new way. Second, I discovered that God wants to save us not just from sin, but from the (well-intentioned) incorrect views of how healing works. See, I had these experiences as a teen that ranged from addictions to failed relationships, which led to some serious spiritual and emotional issues. As I got older, much of the advice and direction I was given led me to believe that when God forgave me of my sin, if I truly believed it, then I would receive instant healing and wholeness. A secondary consequence of this was the following: if I am still struggling, then something is wrong with me and my faith. I was told elements of truth, but the bad theology that underlined what was said to me was manipulative and harmful. Things about God were said in a way to convince me that faith worked like math. It was a formula that I MY PAST IS THE VERY needed to understand and apply. All I needed to do was “let go and let God” or some other trite quasi-spiritual THING THAT I AM INVITED sounding phrase and everything will be better and I will be good. TO SHARE WITH HIM. HE I think it is fair to say that real life is not so easy and choices and outcomes are not so binary. Some of our DOES NOT TOLERATE IT. most painful experiences can be so complicated that we cannot clearly see the who, what, where, when and why HE TREASURES IT. MY for a really long time, if ever, this side of heaven. And when you consider that there is a world of people around EXPERIENCES, INCLUDING you dealing with similar realities, things get even more complicated. THE UNRESOLVED ONES, Sometimes the other people in our lives commit harm with direct intention, but sometimes they do not. ARE MINE. AND I AM HIS. Sometimes they harm, betray, or burden us because they themselves are affected by things beyond their immediate control. And so even as we work towards forgiving and asking for forgiveness, we cannot ignore the fact that choices have consequences that do not always self-correct immediately after. We may be left with outcomes that require healing, or grieving, or counseling, or time, or … This is often what the well-intentioned people with their bad theology omit in their formulas talks. No music. No other people. No thanks. And yet, about faith. this is what was necessary. To sit with the awkwardness The effects of sin, psychology, place, perspective, of a week of silence and let God dictate the terms of the purpose and a host of other things that are part of the experience—that was weird. human experience are not so easily untangled. A lack of After the retreat, I realized that though I had a empathy and awareness is why their quick calculations personal relationship with God, my relationship was and right sounding answers do more to bind us in guilt, pretty much on my terms. God was my friend, but confusion, and frustration than bring us into the freedom whenever we spent time together, the time was always we see offered in the Scriptures, saints, and the teaching planned out by me. I always made sure our time was of the Church over the centuries. moving and meaningful. But on this silent retreat, it was The third thing that I discovered is that God’s love as if God just dropped by unannounced and plans were works in and through all our experiences, not outside or not in my control. It was just God. And it was just me. For apart from them. He does not see me as a project with days. Only by absence—the absence of dynamic talks, a deadline for completion. I am neither surprising Him powerful worship music, and small group interactions (all nor disappointing Him when I finally admit that parts of

AUGUST-SEPTEMBER 2016 SHALOM TIDINGS 25 I REALIZED THAT THOUGH I HAD A PERSONAL RELATIONSHIP WITH GOD, MY RELATIONSHIP WAS PRETTY ❝MUCH ON MY TERMS.

the foundation is not as secure as I pretend it to be. My of reminding myself that everything that is given to God past is the very thing that I am invited to share with Him. as a gift is united with the sacrifice of Christ and made He does not tolerate it. He treasures it. My experiences, pleasing to the Father. Other times, I would suddenly be including the unresolved ones, are mine. And I am His. aware of this letter sitting uncomfortably in my pocket So then, all of this is between us. It is ours. That is how and would make myself speak words of truth and say He works. something like: That is also how he heals us. Not by waiting outside “Jesus, I love You and I trust You with this. Jesus, help of our experiences, but by being present in those me to love You and trust You with this.” experiences. Think about that. He is in the storm, and “Jesus, I can’t undo this knot. I’m tired of reliving this. He is there not only to lead us to the shore. He is in the I’m tired of trying to resolve this. I surrender this to You.” storm because He wants to be with us. And where He “Jesus, thank You for what You have done, are doing, is, where He longs to be, is where and when the healing and will do in my life.” begins. The God who begins the work of healing will see “Jesus, here is my heart. Here are all the pieces. My it to completion, but the timeline is His, not ours. heart isn’t strong enough to survive this. I need Your The fourth and final thing that I learned is how to heart to love again.” bring my past before the Lord in a way that is authentic And somedays, all I have are words like this: and consistent. It is a simple thing, but it has allowed “Jesus, I’m so broken. I’ve got nothing left. Save me me to actively fight my unhelpful tendencies by being again.” mindful of God’s presence. Here is what I did. On a sheet “Jesus, You are so good and faithful. Make me good of paper I briefly wrote down a specific unresolved issue and faithful. Finish what You started.” from my past. I had to limit how much I wrote because “Jesus... Argh!.. Mercy.” I needed to relearn to trust that the same God who Of all the things I learned, this practice of carrying is here with me as I write things down was also (and my past in a physical and concrete way and presenting in a mystical, but real way, still) there with me when it regularly to God kept me from denying God what was those events happened. This meant that once I finished rightfully His. Me. And eventually, in God’s time, He has, there would be no adding or omitting. No additional He is, and He will fulfill His promise and set me free. explanations necessary. Then I folded up the paper as small as I could and tied it together with some string. I JOE PHILIP (Twitter @joephilip101) is a theology teacher and retreat carried it with me constantly and as often as I became coordinator for Powers Catholic High School in Flint, Michigan. He holds aware of it, I would present it to the Lord. Some days his M.A. from Franciscan University of Steubenville, Ohio. He and his it was easy and some days it was not. Sometimes at wife, Tara, travel and share their love for Jesus and the Church by leading and speaking at retreats. They are happy parents to three young children. Mass, I would use my imagination and place it in the Philip served as host of the Shalom World TV original series, “SEEKERS.” collection basket during the offertory. It was a good way He serves as Contributing Editor to “Shalom Tidings” magazine.

26 SHALOM TIDINGS FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 I’M ALL IN By Tony Agnesi

“…one body and one Spirit, as you were also called to the one hope of your call; one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.” –Ephesians 4:4-6

or the first time in fifty-two years the city of Cleveland, Ohio, has a championship. The Cleveland F Cavaliers won the NBA title and all of Ohio has been “All In” for the team. Just like in playing poker, being “all in” means to invest everything, put everything on the line for one goal.

FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 SHALOM TIDINGS 27 Over 1.3 million people arrived to attend the it would become the main topic of conversation as the championship parade and rally, some braving three-hour Cavs have become in Northeastern Ohio. waits at the bus and train lines, others parking miles Instead of hiding our faith, we would be wearing tee away and walking to the parade. shirts declaring our devotion being “all in” for Jesus. Our hometown hero, LeBron James is being called Just imagine it! How would our world be the ‘chosen one,’ Cleveland’s ‘savior.’ Main Street in Akron different? Can you imagine the love, good will and has been renamed “King James Way,” and pundits are common purpose that would exist if more Christians were referring to his leaving Cleveland for Miami and returning “all in?” as his “crucifixion” and “resurrection.” So what can we do to be “all in” for Jesus? Yes, Cavs fans are ALL IN! ◗ Celebrate His victory! Jesus’ life, death, and Being a long time Cavaliers fan, I am thrilled. I resurrection is the greatest victory ever. Not only was it a attended game three of the finals with my son who flew victory over death, but He died for our sins, not just yours in from Florida, a tradition that began last year with and mine, but everyone’s. the loss to Golden State in game six of the finals, and “But thanks be to God who gives us the victory continued this year, only this time with a title. Hopefully, through our Lord Jesus Christ.” –1 Corinthians 15:57 we will be together as the Cavaliers defend their ◗ Find victory in the trials of others. Being a cancer championship next June. survivor myself, I take great pride in celebrating with But, for me, being “All In” begs the question, “Am I “all friends their victory over life’s many trials. Beating cancer, in” for Jesus, too?” finding a job after a long wait, overcoming a physical With the love, good will, camaraderie, and common handicap, and succeeding when others might question purpose, just imagine if we were as passionate about our why even try—these things are worthy of us being “all in” salvation through Jesus Christ. The message of Jesus; the in our recognition of these victories. chosen one, King of kings, who truly was crucified and “Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you encounter rose from the dead for the forgiveness of our sins, would various trials, for you know that the testing of your faith look at lot different if more Christians were really all in for produces perseverance. And let perseverance be perfect, their faith. so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in Instead of church attendance being on the decline nothing.” –James 1:2-4 since 1950, churches would be overflowing, people ◗ Give God the glory. Having the physical attributes, patiently waiting in line just to get a seat. height and weight, and the skills to be a great athlete are Instead of being afraid to share our faith with others, often genetic. We need to thank God for these gifts. For most of us, our gifts are different. We have the skills to be great in other areas. But, remember to thank God for these gifts. “And whatever you do, in word or in deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.” – Colossians 3:17 It is a wonderful thing to celebrate a world championship for your town, especially when it has been over fifty years since the last title. Cleveland deserves it. But, let me ask you: Are you “All In” for Jesus, too?”

© TONY AGNESI is an inspirational storyteller, author, blogger and radio host. His passion is sharing his Catholic faith and helping others discover a more joyful life through God’s grace. You can follow his stories and podcasts at http://tonyagnesi.com.

28 SHALOM TIDINGS FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 IT’S ALL IN THE TRYING By David Torkington

he Curé d’Ars said that, “All that we do, without offering it to God, is wasted.” He is of course T right, but it must be emphasized that the Morning Offering is not a magic formula. It does not automatically transform the forthcoming day. That is why something further is required. My mother told me that after she had made her Morning Offering she would spend a few minutes reviewing the day ahead and making a few resolutions that would enable her to try and consecrate every moment of the day to loving God directly in prayer, and indirectly to loving our neighbors through all that we say and do. It might be to do humdrum tasks that we keep putting off, like changing the sheets on the bed, putting air into the car tires, defrosting the freezer, or something that is more important. There is always that friend or relative who is sick or in need, who we should phone, or write to, or even visit. Alternatively, perhaps we should make a resolution to apologize to a family member, a friend, or someone at work, for the way we behaved towards them. It is very difficult to stand up for someone who has been abused by authority at work, or elsewhere, or to speak the truth when no one wants to hear it, or to make a stand for what we know is right. Nevertheless these are some of the more important things that could occupy our minds as part of Morning Prayer.

FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 SHALOM TIDINGS 29 destination depends. It is the place where the whole of the forthcoming day is dedicated to loving God through a continual process of prayer, self-sacrifice, and the service of others. In this way, all that is said, done, and suffered, all that is enjoyed and celebrated, is offered in, through, and with Jesus to our common Father. This is the new worship in spirit and in truth that Jesus promised to the Samaritan woman. We are called to take part in the priestly action of Jesus every moment of every day. We can be encouraged by the words of one of the Desert Fathers, who insisted that we will ultimately be judged, not so much on what we have achieved, but on how best we have tried. In the word of the Jewish philosopher Simone Weil, “A person is no more than the quality of their endeavor” and that is how God will judge us if nobody else does. Perhaps we could end with the most important resolution of all, which is to try and make the forthcoming day one in which we try as best as we can “I WAS HUNGRY AND YOU GAVE to enable God’s love to draw us up; not just into the life of Christ, but into His priestly action. It is only there that ME SOMETHING TO EAT, I WAS we will be able to love God as we should, by offering THIRSTY AND YOU GAVE ME Him all that we are and all that we do. But most of all by offering Him the way that we have tried to serve Him in SOMETHING TO DRINK, I WAS A and through the neighbor in need. In this way, every day STRANGER AND YOU INVITED ME is a day in which we spend every single moment trying to observe the New Commandments, firstly by loving God, IN, I NEEDED CLOTHES AND YOU and then in loving Him, loving our neighbor in need. CLOTHED ME, I WAS SICK AND One of the most important truths of the spiritual life that we neglect at our peril is that we will not ultimately YOU LOOKED AFTER ME, I WAS be judged by the wonderful feelings that we have IN PRISON AND YOU CAME TO experienced in prayer. We will not be asked how many ecstasies we have had, how many miracles we have VISIT ME” worked, or how many people we have healed, but, rather, MATTHEW 25:31-46 how have we served God in the neighbor in need. If we have done this—even if we have failed in so much else— we will be invited to share in His glory, because He will © DAVID TORKINGTON (www.DavidTorkington.com) is a Spiritual say to us, “I was hungry and you gave me something to Theologian, Author and Speaker, who specializes in Prayer, Christian eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I Spirituality and Mystical Theology. He was educated at the Franciscan was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes Study Centre, England, and the National Catholic Radio and Television and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after Centre, Hatch End, London, where he was later appointed to the post of Dean of Studies. He was extra mural lecturer in Mystical Theology me, I was in prison and you came to visit me” (Matthew at the Dominican University in Rome (The Angelicum). In addition 25:31-46). to giving Retreats and lecturing all over Europe, he undertook five But if we fail to do this, then we will be condemned prolonged lecture tours to Africa, mainly Equatorial Africa, speaking to hear other frightening words, “Depart from me, for I on Prayer and Spirituality to Religious, Monks, Diocesan Priests and lay people. His personal spirituality is predominantly Franciscan, his was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty Mystical Theology Carmelite, all welded together with a solid blend of and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and Benedictine moderation. He has sold over 300,000 books in more than you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did twelve different languages. His most successful book is "Wisdom from not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not the Western Isles," the popular "Peter Calvay Trilogy" (Hermit, Prophet, Mystic) re-edited in one volume in which he teaches the reader how look after me. For in truth I tell you, whatever you did not to pray, from the very beginning to what Saint Teresa of Avila calls the do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me” Mystical Marriage. He is at present working on his latest book, "Wisdom (Matthew 25:31-46). from the Christian Mystics" which will be followed by his autobiography The Morning Offering and its implementation then "Injured Innocence." When not writing, he spends time on his boat on the peaceful Beaulieu river in the New Forest, Hampshire, and exploring is not just a nice pious practice for those who have the Jurassic coast, Dorset. He is a member of The Athenaeum, Pall Mall, the time to do it, but something on which our ultimate London.

30 SHALOM TIDINGS FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 THE DANGER OF TEACHING FALSE MERCY By Marlon De La Torre

ne of the primal gifts parents offer our children is human being is created with an inherent worth created unconditional love. Because of the unique bond in the image and likeness of God. This unique covenantal Owe hold with our children, the natural order of bond is very important to address and affirm because it things is to care and nurture them to the best of our creates an honest and authentic understanding of our abilities because they are our children, our own flesh and role as children of God, and our responsibility not just blood. A unique but important way of understanding our to ourselves, but to God first and then to those around role as authentic Christian witnesses toward our children us. The Prophet Jeremiah (31:31-34) articulates the is the emphasis of our children’s dignity. importance of this covenantal understanding in the The gift of dignity reflects an understanding that each following way:

FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 SHALOM TIDINGS 31 “But this is the covenant which I will make with the THE DANGER OF TEACHING FALSE MERCY house of Israel after those days, says the Lord: I will put In basic terms, false mercy is an unwillingness to my law within them, and I will write it upon their hearts; address moral virtue for the sake of satisfying disordered and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. And passion(s). This means that “my child doesn’t have the no longer shall each man teach his neighbor and each right to everything he wants just because he says so.” It his brother, saying, ‘Know the Lord,’ for they shall all know does not mean that “he can do no wrong because he is me, from the least of them to the greatest, says the Lord; God’s gift to this earth.” for I will forgive their iniquity, and I will remember their Genuine mercy aims to help our children “find sin no more.” themselves” by recognizing their own faults and “owning up to them.” The parable of the Prodigal Son reflects THE HUMAN PERSON, DIGNITY, AND MERCY this point very clearly where the son comes to “find A human being should not be denied the opportunity himself” (Luke 15:17). That is, he finds his moral sense to recognize and embrace their own dignity in the and realizes that the decisions he made did not lead to image and likeness of God. All of us are part of a grand better state in life. False mercy rejects the idea of finding covenantal bond instituted by God reinforced by Christ yourself because the attitude is “I am just fine.” If parents and faithfully transmitted by the Church. The “Catechism profess this distorted ethic of life, children will never of the Catholic Church” reminds us that the dignity of see the need for moral conversion, let alone a genuine the human person implies and requires uprightness of relationship with Jesus Christ. Genuine mercy challenges moral conscience (1750). This means that inherent to all of us to recognize our dignity as children of God which our nature we possess a genuine moral compass that in turn will guide us to act on the spiritual and corporal assists us in basing the judgment of things on the dignity works of mercy to those in greater need than ourselves. of those arounds us, including ourselves. Blessed Cardinal John Henry Newman reminds us In light of our covenantal relationship with Christ, that, “Virtue is its own reward, and brings with it the genuine mercy directs our actions to seek those who truest and highest pleasure; but if we cultivate it only have lost their sense of dignity as a child of God. This for pleasure’s sake, we are selfish, not religious, and will means that the role of a parent is to foster a mercy never gain the pleasure, because we can never have the of conversion rooted in charity with the aim of guiding virtue.” children toward an intimate communion with Christ and His Church (Luke 15:7). At the heart of our parental identity toward our children is the revelation of God’s love © MARLON DE LA TORRE (www.KnowingIsDoing.org) serves as the through His Son Jesus Christ and the enormity of this Department Director of Evangelization and Catechesis for the Catholic love found in the Paschal Mystery. Diocese of Fort Worth, Texas.

32 SHALOM TIDINGS FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017

EXORCISM PRAYER BRINGS RESULTS By Jamey Brown

was having a bit of a conflict with a cashier at work. We always banter back and forth, joking, sometimes Ikidding each other, but he sometimes says hostile things such as, “Cabdrivers are stupid” or “You think you’re an expert mechanic; you don’t know anything.” I had oscillated from trying to befriend him to ignoring him. Recently, we seemed to have a breakthrough and he opened up and told me a lot about himself, such as he wanted to be a professional soccer player but could not get into college because he had to take remedial classes and then just gave up. Then, when I saw him a few days later he was back to his old “cabdrivers are stupid, and you know nothing about mechanics.” I was stewing over it for a few days, thinking of lambasting him with some of the personal things he had revealed to me. I was rehearsing in my mind what to say to him, things such as: “Cabdrivers are stupid? You couldn’t even get into college—a lot of drivers, including myself, have gone to college! Mr. Expert!” I was really thinking of letting him have it; taking him down a peg. I also thought it might be better to just avoid talking to him; he is sort of a poison person. EXORCISM PRAYER BY SAINT ANTHONY Then I saw this Exorcism Prayer by Saint Anthony posted on Facebook: Begone, all evil powers! The Lion of the tribe of Judah, The Root of David, has conquered! Alleluia, Alleluia!

34 SHALOM TIDINGS FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 I was riveted. What perfect timing, I thought. I will just and encouragement and offer some suggestions for how say this prayer before I see him and say it to him when I he could find out about careers online, and even get free see him. No further discussion. I practiced and learned instructions in areas he might want to pursue for a better the prayer. Maybe this will drive the devil out of this job? He loved soccer, why not check out careers in sports guy because I sometimes think he is a devil. I was also medicine and physical therapy?” Duh? still rehearsing some of my put-downs of him in case I This idea just seemed so right, so calming. I said a changed my strategy. prayer of thanks. Of course, the thought occurred to me many times, Then a second thought came, “He seems to have “You’re a Catholic and you are really not supposed to drifted away from the Catholic Church. Help him to come be putting anyone down. You can say things to correct back, and bring his wife and child with him. This is the someone’s behavior, but say it with love.” most important thing of all.” I also had a counter thought, “Yeah, but this guy is so I then thought, “Well, let me first rebuild the friendship proud and arrogant, someone has got to put him in his with the career suggestion, and if there’s an opening I’ll place. Knock him down a few pegs.” I realize this is just bring up religion. But let me rebuild the bridges that have an excuse for anger, so I kept wavering between anger, been burnt first.” It seemed like a good plan. silence, and the Exorcism Prayer. Well, guess who my next customer was?—a guy who As I plowed my Yellow Cab up Madison Avenue had been in sports medicine and knew everything about through a cold rain, I stopped at a red light and glanced it. His destination?—back to Greenpoint and a stone’s down at my cell phone. Someone had posted a story throw from Calvary Cemetery. about a demonic house, where a local priest had The Lord does not operate any plainer than that. performed exorcisms, being torn down in my hometown of Gary, Indiana. How odd, I thought, that there would be THE EXORCISM PRAYER WORKED two stories about exorcism in one day, not yet knowing I also realized that the Exorcism Prayer had worked—on that there would be yet a third. me! It had driven out the demons in me, not the other Near the end of my shift something extraordinary guy. Oh, what a lesson I learned! happened. As I dropped a young woman off on Nassau “And why behold the speck that is in your brother’s Avenue in Greenpoint, Brooklyn, about five blocks from eye, but consider not the beam that is in your own eye?” Calvary Cemetery, where the priest who confirmed me (Matthew 7:5) in the Catholic Faith in 2008, worked when he was a When I did see the cashier later, I could see that he teenager, this thought came to me, “Why don’t you help was a little tense and defensive but when I offered my that cashier? Instead of lambasting him because he suggestions he relaxed. We were friendly again in an could not get into college, why not give him some hope instant. He was not too interested in my suggestions, but he started joking and we were kidding each other in a very good natured way. I have been thankful ever since. The Lord is always right when He says that hostility and hurting others never works. Always use kindness, charity, and love. Be careful with this Exorcism Prayer, it might work in “AND WHY BEHOLD ways you would never have dreamed of. THE SPECK THAT IS IN YOUR BROTHER’S EYE, BUT CONSIDER NOT

© JAMEY BROWN converted in 2007—the greatest day of his life—by THE BEAM THAT IS IN the miracle of EWTN. Off the drink and drugs for seventeen years—by the grace of God. Brown is a Bible Study group leader and guitar player for five years as well as an RCIA assistant leader for two years. He is a former YOUR OWN EYE?” atheist and then a crystal-gazing New Ager. He is a former musician (guitar) raised in Indiana, who now uses the big bucks he makes writing MATTHEW 7:5 Catholic blogs to finance his dream of driving a cab in New York City. Article original appeared on www.CatholicStand.com. Reprinted with permission.

FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 SHALOM TIDINGS 35 CALL AND

ANSWER By Heidi Bock everal years ago, I was given a housewarming gift unlike any I had ever received before. Christ the I AM NOT ALONE, SPantocrator, an icon written and given to me by a most beloved friend. An exquisite, incredible work of art. BECAUSE JESUS IS It is a window into the soul of Our Blessed Lord, with its bright gold brush strokes surrounding and haloing the WITH ME, AND WITH dark brown of Christ’s hair and stoic frame. It is, however, His eyes that seem to pierce right through the soul as one HIM I FEAR NOTHING. cannot help but gaze into them. A small crumb of Heaven, DIARY OF SAINT FAUSTINA KOWALSKA, 746 it is a great treasure, though it has become more to me than an object. It is an invitation, an encounter with the Divine right here in my little home. ill. I do not just mean sick, but terminally ill. They gave If you grew up with or are accustomed to “art forms” us three to six months. The devastation of that kind such as Jesus at the Bat or Precious Moments, icons of diagnosis goes beyond expression. I spent much may at first seem rather serious and perhaps even a time in confusion, pain, and fear. Sometimes I went for little drab to the malnourished eye, the nature of an icon what seemed like days without sleep, hovering over her being that of solemnity and profundity; but like many sickbed; at other times, I felt I that I could not get out worthy and even acquired tastes, icons present a singular of bed. And as I would gather my belongings to go out presence and awareness that no other art form can offer. the door to the hospital, my eyes would turn to that icon. Brother Victor-Antoine D’Avila-Latourrette, a resident There He was. He was always there. I would take Him with monk at Our Lady of the Resurrection Monastery in me, in my heart, a little oratory within of that beautiful, Millbrook, New York, says, “In the icon, there is never serene Presence. And when I came home at three o’clock room for creative fantasy or a fancy imagination. In its in the morning some days, He was still there, as if He austere sobriety, the icon and the iconographer never had never left my side. Little by little, I let Him enter in— step beyond the Scriptures or the virtues of the holy and He came, never demanding, never threatening, but person they represent. Icons are truly vehicles of prayer, softly, peacefully, and oh, so gently. My love grew, as did for besides instructing us in the mysteries of the faith, mom’s cancer and when she finally died, He was there they also embellish God’s house with the beauty of a still. My Beloved: before me, beside me, above me, within mysterious supernatural presence. To pray daily before me, around me. an icon is to become aware in a unique way of the I do not know if I could have come out of that presence it represents. During the veneration of icons, a tragedy with the peace and joy that I feel today had it daily experience in our monastic worship, prayerfully we not been for that little icon. His presence filled my soul come into physical and spiritual contact with the mystery with a courage that even others were aware of and often or person portrayed in the particular icon. This powerful, inquired of me about. That daily, small, divine invitation intangible contact feeds not only our faith, but also our produced spiritual fruit that I have no doubt will last prayer and our piety.” my whole life, and continues to be fruitful each and I remember placing it gently upon my mantel, thinking every day. It is not something that you can experience it a proper spot for such a piece of art. (Icons were in a Precious Moments image. The icon transcends the something quite familiar to my upbringing as my mother timeline of history, as our gaze reaches into the heights also shared a friendship with the iconographer already of Heaven, giving us renewed strength, determination, spoken of above. In fact, it was her art that played a and a willingness to fulfill our earthly obligations with significant role in my mother’s “ongoing conversion,” as profound hope and an unspeakable joy in God Almighty. she used to call it, and to mine as well). I would walk Do you have icons in your home? Do you make time past it in the mornings, blindly reaching for the coffee each day to have even a small encounter with the Divine pot, and it seemed as if He was looking at me, present Romance? Consider purchasing an icon, perhaps of and yearning. A quaint hello was at the very least a Our Lord or His Blessed Mother, and place it in a prayer polite response on my part to so longing and tender an corner within your home. Go there, in times of joy and expression of love. And then there would be the diaper especially in times of sorrow. He will be there. He will changes before the fireplace, or the family prayers at always be there, giving you strength, stability, tender love, night, and there He was again . . . waiting, hopeful, lovely, and hope. I can attest to this reality in my own little life. and so, so beautiful. I found myself falling deeply and truly in love with so loving a Face. A mere glance at His serene countenance would give me a gentle peace, a calm encouragement in my vocation. © HEIDI BOCK is the found of Brave New Family (www.bravenewfamily. It was not long after that, that my mother became net). Reprinted with permission.

37 SHALOM TIDINGS FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 SHALOM TIDINGS 37 MEDIA SCAN

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MUSIC: DANIELLE NOONAN Danielle Noonan, a songwriter, worship leader and musician, began leading music at the age of thirteen at her small mission parish in East Texas. Her gift and ability to pray through music was encouraged by her family who was involved in many of the ministries within her local parish. With a heart for the poor, the needy and orphaned, Noonan uses her music, testimony and storytelling to give light to the importance of unity, community and authentic prayer. With her soulful passion in her recent EP “Undone,” Noonan shares her journey of authenticity, healing, and the true goodness of Christ that she's witnessed in her life and in the lives of her family. As the youngest of fourteen, who is also an adoptee, her unique and prayerful insight as a daughter of Christ shines through her music and strives to promote the dignity of all people as well as the beauty of Christ meeting each person right where they are. Noonan has been leading worship for churches, youth groups, and retreats professionally the past five years. Visit www.daniellenoonanmusic.com to find out more.

38 SHALOM TIDINGS FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 COMING BACK HOME

By Billie Gillespie

ife was good. Or so I thought. I was living in New York City during the day and performing sketch comedy in clubs at night. Yes, on the upper Westside with my new bride, and working as life was good. But let me back up a bit. L an actor. Maybe you have seen one of my award winning I was born in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and raised Catholic. performances: Dunking my face into a bowl of baked beans, We went to Mass every Sunday and on holy days, and fasted from singing into a chunk of Velveeta cheese, talking with a mouth full meat on Fridays. This fasting thing was not good for me. See, I of cookies, or maybe as the bright neon orange and green live hated fish at the time and I dreaded the Fridays when we had version the very popular toy at the time, “Big Frank.” As well as in tuna fish casserole. I attended Catholic school for six years. I can film, TV shows, theatre, and something very dear to me, Third Rail remember when I was about eight, sitting in a dark auditorium at Comedy, the sketch comedy group I was a founding member of. school with my mom and dad watching my older sister and younger One of our reviews at the time said we were “rude, crude and lewd.” brother in the school Christmas play. She was a candy cane and We considered that a badge of honor. I was auditioning or filming he was an elf. And while gazing up at their brilliant performance

FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 SHALOM TIDINGS 39 THE MORE I WENT TO MASS, THE LESS SENSE IT MADE TO ME. I MEAN, WHO IS THIS GOD? THIS BEARDED MAN I IMAGINED IN MY YOUTH. I FOUND IT A CHALLENGE TO GRASP THE CONCEPT OF WHO OR WHAT WAS GOD. IF HE WAS NOT AN OLD MAN IN THE CLOUDS, WHO WAS HE?

on stage I remember thinking, I would never, ever want to be on a Bible, but found it all rather boring and hard to comprehend. I did stage in front of people. not take the time or effort to investigate further. I was an extremely shy and introverted child. It is nothing less So, like any good son, I just went along without complaint. Okay, than ironic that I wound up an actor. But that is another story. By maybe a little complaining, but inside I knew it would never really this time, our family moved to Florida. In seventh and eighth grade, get very far. The more I went to Mass, the less sense it made to I attended weekly catechism classes while in public school. And I me. I mean, who is this God? This bearded man I imagined in my was an altar boy. My mom and dad, brother and two sisters and I youth. I found it a challenge to grasp the concept of Who or what were by all accounts a Catholic family. Looking back, I remember was God. If He was not an old man in the clouds, Who was He? I it all fondly and feel quite fortunate to have had a faith centered thought that if I could just get a picture of what God looks like in family. But in my early teen years, seeing kids in the neighborhood my mind, then I would be able to understand. But that image never playing and having fun while I had to get dressed up and head to materialized. Instead, my frustration grew and my doubt multiplied. church began to be a real drag. While at college, I moved out on my own and that is when the I began to realize that I went to Mass because that is what drifting really began. On weekends while at home, I would attend we did on Sunday, not because I wanted to go. My faith was not Mass. But for one reason or another I would not make it to church something I believed, but something I went along with. I began to on many Sundays. There were times that I would make an attempt wonder if what went on during Mass was real and true or just made to seek out a Catholic church close by the college, but never up rituals and stories. I made half-hearted attempts to read the followed through on showing up on Sunday. There was always an

40 SHALOM TIDINGS FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 urge inside me that wanted to seek out she was symptom-free. About a year later, our son was born. God, to go to Mass, but I tried my best to As any new parent can attest, those first few months were ignore that feeling, thinking that it was just joy-filled exhaustion. Bringing new life into this world, learning a habit from always going to Mass with my how to be a parent, hoping you do it “correctly,” whatever that is. family in my youth. I also allowed negative I was smitten. That little guy filled me with a type of love I had news in newspapers or television about never experienced. How I am going to guide and teach him was a the Catholic Church to put a deeper wedge constant thought in my mind as I would gaze at him asleep in my between me and my faith. arms. One thing I knew for sure was to give him as much love as I thought that if the Catholic Church humanly possible. At my mother’s insistence, our son was baptized did not satisfy me, maybe a non-Catholic into the Catholic Church. That first year with our son was a blast church or another religion might be a and a blur working and enjoying our new family. better fit for me. I tried non-denominational After our son’s first birthday, my wife’s health declined Christian churches, unity churches, found dramatically. Vertigo, exhaustion, difficulty walking, and temporary my way to a few different Buddhist temples partial blindness filled her with fear. After many tests with her and a Baptist church, but none of them neurologist, she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. We were satisfied me. So I decided to ignore that devastated to say the least. After the initial shock of the diagnosis, urge and enjoy college life. One thing for with my wife’s positive attitude and constant smile, we began to sure, I was spiritually adrift. find our way with this new wrinkle in our life. After graduating college as a newly Vaguely familiar with the disease and with the doctors saying minted theatre major, I began auditioning symptoms are different for everyone, I began to research and learn at professional theaters in the area. The all I could about this thing called MS. At that time, I felt invincible. I local theater scene was coming into its did not need anyone’s help, I could do it all: Assist my wife, care for own and I found a nice fit with a theater my son, work, and so on. There was no thought of going to Mass, company and enjoyed performing in a asking for or needing God’s help. I could do it all. And I did. For a number of productions. while. One day, after a morning rehearsal for a As an actor, there is time during the day between auditions that play I was performing in, I joined my family I could take care of our son, assist my wife, grocery shop, and do in the hospital waiting room where my mom whatever else came up. I had tons of energy and relished the fact was having surgery. As we sat awaiting that I could do all that I did. I would get my wife and son situated, word on my mother’s outcome, I scanned then go and audition or film, then come home and do what needed the room and at the other end, I noticed a to be done. Then, I was off again. A few evenings a week I would familiar face. A very attractive girl that I had rehearse or perform with my sketch comedy group at clubs around gone to high school with, but never said New York City. At times it seemed like I was always in motion. Living hello to because I was very shy. As I was in New York City was convenient in that everything was a train, bus, deciding whether to say hello or not, her or cab ride away. aunt spoke up and said, “I think she knows About the time our son was two, the urge inside of me of going you.” Two years later, Dede became my wife. back to church was getting harder to suppress. I began to think After meeting with some success locally that maybe we should go to Mass as a family because that is with my acting, we decided to take a bite out of the Big Apple. That what I did growing up. So we began our half-hearted attempts of first year in New York City was an exhilarating and frightening time. attending Mass. We were often late, I was easily distracted by my What a rush for me it was walking the streets of Manhattan going son who could not sit still for a second, and many Sundays we from audition to audition! After about six months of beating the could easily talk ourselves out of going to Mass for one bad excuse streets, I began booking commercials. I did thank God for my new or another. But, even through the distractions and excuses, that found success, but did not bother to follow that urge inside me to urge was ever present in my heart. attend Mass. On the surface, exploring what this island metropolis There were periods of time when my wife was almost symptom- had to offer, with my wife, made that first year even more exciting. free and could get around and have a “normal” life, which we did I began living the dream of every actor: Working only as an actor. our best to enjoy to the fullest. As time went on, however, walking And in New York City no less! became more of a challenge for her and getting around proved Then, without warning, my wife began experiencing neurological more difficult. And that began to put a strain on both of us. issues. After consulting with a neurologist and undergoing many As time passed, I realized that life in New York City would medical tests, it was discovered that she had Lyme disease. A tic- become a major challenge for my wife because to her diminishing borne illness which mimics multiple sclerosis and at that time was mobility. So we decided to relocate to California. Settling in the rather rare. There was controversy on the best protocol to effectively valley just over the hill from Hollywood, it had everything that we treat this illness. After two years of treatment with a doctor who was were looking for: Lots of space for my son to play, easier for my very knowledgeable with the disease and whom we both trusted, wife to navigate, and opportunities for acting work. After a time, we

FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 SHALOM TIDINGS 41 became acclimated to our new area, not to mention that we loved Church, which was a two year program for ninth and tenth grade, the weather. then he should continue with the non-required catechism classes I cannot remember how, but I found a church nearby that we third through eighth grade. Even though I had my doubts, I felt that would attend on occasion. When we attended, I found myself sitting to give my son a fair shot of knowing the faith, he should have the in the pew questioning many things about the Catholic faith and benefit of those classes which coincided with a typical school year. the Mass. Why Mass? I mean, is all that takes place in the Mass So, we continued our routine of my son going to catechism necessary? At times I would be half asleep. I would complain to class on Sunday, then we attended Mass right after. We would take myself that the readers are boring or that the priest is boring. Does our position in the pew about three quarters of the way back of he really believe what he is saying? Other times I found myself the church, sometimes further back but never closer. I suppose getting very angry during homilies. So much so that I would get up it felt safer back there, like the priest could not see that far back and walk out of the church in a huff. and we could get lost in the crowd. I doubted almost everything I I was not happy. I did not quite realize it at that moment, but knew about the Catholic Church. Does the bread and wine really somewhere along the way, I developed an attitude that someone transform into the body and blood of Christ? Was Mary really else was to blame for whatever was going wrong in my life. a virgin? And even more unbelievable to me—did Jesus really Impatience, frustration, anger, and many other emotions churned resurrect from the dead? Now come on, really? Week after week I in my mind as more responsibilities began to pile up and I was would ask myself those questions and more. Is all that takes place becoming more resentful of my circumstance. My focus shifted in the Mass necessary? I would say to myself, “there has got to be from what I can do for my wife to, look at all this stuff I have to do more to this (the Mass) than just this (what I am seeing).” for my wife. After about five years of asking the same questions wondering if Through the anger and frustration, I still had that urge inside there was more to the Mass than what I am seeing…it happened. pulling me to Mass. When my son was in kindergarten, I began to There I was, in the pew with my wife and son, I am slouching, think if I should have him go through the sacraments, reconciliation half asleep, and mind wandering when I began to feel an odd and first Holy Communion being the first two. I really struggled with sensation in my chest. I began to feel a warmth, a heat in the this decision. I mean, I was struggling with my faith or lack thereof, center of my chest. I sat up, I looked around to see if anyone else so why push him into something that I had many questions with? might be feeling what I was feeling. In a matter of moments this After much thought, I decided that I would have him go through the heat intensified and my chest felt as if it was opening and this sacraments and when he finished confirmation, he could decide for himself if he wanted to continue. After signing up for the Sunday morning class, I found out that the Holy Communion/Reconciliation class is a two year process and on top of that, parents had to “volunteer” two times in the class. And if that was not bad enough, the class began at 9AM on Sunday. I struggled making it to Mass at 10AM! Oh great, I thought. My plan was to “volunteer” the first two classes and get the obligation over with quickly, then I would not have to deal with it for the rest of the year. My plan worked, sort of. I attended the first class with a few other parents and our job was to help keep the kids focused. A bit of a challenge, because there were thirty some kids packed in that classroom. I do enjoy children, so interacting with them and doing my best to keep them focused was a fun challenge. And something else began to happen, I found myself listening to what the instructor was saying. I remembered the Bible lesson she was teaching the kids from when I went to Catholic school, but somehow it felt like I was hearing it in a new way. I felt drawn to all she was saying. I went back the next Sunday and again, found myself listening intently to everything this catechist had to say. My “volunteer” obligation fulfilled, I went back week after week to help out and get reacquainted with the faith in which I was raised. I ended up helping out the two years of required classes for Reconciliation/First Holy Communion. I actually looked forward to those classes. I was very happy for my son, but still very confused and had many doubts about my faith, the Church and if it was real and true. But that feeling inside of me, that urge, would not let go. I decided that if my son was to be confirmed in the Catholic

42 SHALOM TIDINGS FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 heat turned into an intense fire, burning in my chest. An incredible burn in fire in front of me. Yes, I know, that is hard to believe. It fire with the most amazing indescribable feeling of love. A love took me a couple weeks to realize that this was really happening so intense, so beautiful, so unconditional just flowing from my to me. Each week, I was not expecting, just accepting of what was chest along with this intense burning fire. I began saying to myself, unfolding to me and taking in all that was offered. This continued “I get this, I get this, I get this,” but I did not know what I was for about eight weeks. The fire and feeling of love in my chest getting. Then, in my mind I could see curtains opening. Curtain stayed with me for several months, then slowly it began to dissipate after curtain, one after another opening, deeper and deeper in my with time. But to this day, almost every time I enter a Catholic mind. Then, every question every doubt I had about the Catholic church I feel that connection and a bit of the heat in my chest. faith, about the Mass, about Mary, about, about everything—it was I have been asked, “Why did you get to have this experience?” answered at once. YES! It is all true. It is all real. My smart alec answer is, because I am super-duper special. But As I was sitting there, having this life altering experience, I was in reality, to God, we are all super-duper special. I honestly do not unsure what to do next. I just had every doubt and question about know the answer. It may be a combination of reasons. I was so my Catholic faith that I ever had, answered in an instant. I am determined to know what was going on in the Mass. Not just what sitting there, with my chest open with a roaring, surging fire ablaze we could see but, all that we cannot see. The spiritual, mystical, with the most incredible feeling of love that I ever experienced and unseen aspect of the Mass. I just kept asking over and over and I am thinking, what do I do now? Should I walk up the aisle and over again. Week after week, month after month, year after year, stop the priest during Mass and tell him what is happening to me? “There has got to be more to this (the Mass) than just this (what Should I stand up and shout with joy of my experience? I wanted I’m seeing).” And on that day, God answered me. Maybe He was so to, but thought the people would think I was a lunatic. So, I just sat tired of me asking that He finally said, “Stop your whining, here’s there, trying to comprehend what was happening to me. your answer.” For whatever reason, I am thankful. That gift brought After Mass I did not say anything to anyone, not even my wife. I me back to the fullness of the faith in a huge way. I am a full just was not sure what to make of this fiery love burning inside of participant in the Mass, searching and opening myself to an ever me. It was with me the whole week and I could not wait to get back deepening understanding of my Catholic faith. I expect to always to church the next Sunday to see what was going to happen next. be discovering more of this incredible Church that Jesus founded Upon entering the church, I felt an instant connection in my and handed over to Saint Peter, the first pope all the way through chest, almost like I was being plugged back in. Although I had the to Pope Francis. fire ablaze in me throughout the week, it As my son continued through the CRE program at church, each felt like this is where I needed to be. The week I would sit outside of the confirmation classes. I would peek church. Week after week it continued in the classrooms as I walked by and would become distressed at and I found myself moving up a pew or what I was seeing. Teens looking like they were half asleep, ignoring two every week. After about four weeks, the teacher. In another classroom, the kids were clowning around we were sitting in the front pew and all I with one another not even paying attention to the teacher. Each could say in my mind as this fire of love week the same thing. I would sit at the benches and think, oh no, burned in my chest was, “How do I get when these kids get confirmed, they are never going to come back there?” The tabernacle. I just wanted to church! Someone has got to do something. I began getting to be as close to the Holy Eucharist as the urge to tell these kids my story, so that maybe they would humanly possible. understand how important their Catholic faith is. Each week I would As I write this, I cannot help but think the same thing but resisted that urge inside of me. think of the angels and saints desiring Okay, yes I know, I am slow at understanding that God is to be near and praising Jesus at the speaking to me. It eventually clicked that I had to tell them my tabernacles in Catholic churches around story. A friend introduced me to the director of religious education. the world. Oh to be near You Jesus, The next year, I was teaching one of the confirmation classes oh to love You, stripped of ego and all and in the first class of each group of teens, I tell them my story. pretense! I have been a confirmation catechist for the past nine years and Now, as challenging as this story I continue to grow in passion about my faith and seeing the would have been for me to believe if kids respond in a positive way to my story and classes is truly a someone told me this over ten years blessing to me and I trust, a blessing to them. All thanks to God! ago, this part of the story would have And yes, I am following the urging (yea I know, what took me been even harder to accept. As we sat so long?) to share my story through this story in the quest to in the front pew each week, a word or help more and more people grow in their faith, come back to their a phrase from a song, a reading, the Catholic faith or come into the Catholic Church. As the song says, homily, basically anything that was “all are welcome in this place.” uttered or sung during the service, whatever the Holy Spirit needed me to © BILLY GILLESPIE (www.RedemptionStreet.net) is an Actor, Catholic Speaker, and think about, that word or phrase would Confirmation Catechist residing in Los Angeles, California.

FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 SHALOM TIDINGS 43 Call for writers

Shalom Tidings seeks to bring the hope found in Christ through His Church to the world. Fostering a kerygmatic and charismatic spirit, our mission is to share personal stories, practical teaching, and faith-filled reflections on how people of all ages are responding to the call to conversion and holiness that not only leads to their joy but bears fruit in the world through the power of the Holy Spirit.

ENGAGE: provide insight on ENCOUNTER: show how Christ ENJOY: celebrate the joy, EVANGELIZE: inspire others issues that impact culture has revealed Himself through challenges, and victories through stories of men and through a Catholic worldview experiences that give hope of living as a disciple in all women of all ages on mission which is faithful to the and inspire others to seek stages of Christian life. as they use their talents to Magisterium of the Church, Him, whether they are new to respond to the call to take the pastoral in its approach and the journey or they walk daily Gospel out into the world. speaks to a popular audience. with Christ.

We welcome articles by writers who are with the Church and for the Church. Articles should be between 700 and 900 words. Author bios should also be included. Please note that the Editorial Council reserves the right to edit all submissions. For more information and to submit articles, please e-mail [email protected]. had not slept well the night before, and weariness settled over me like a heavy rug. Nancy and I returned Ihome from Mass, ate lunch, and were unwinding on the couch where she continued our conversation about her passion for art. But I could not keep my mind from GROWING drifting. As it did, my eyes focused on her face. I had noticed her changing features before, but somehow this time I saw her anew. Creases now feather her cheeks and forehead where her skin was once smooth and supple. Gone is her naturally dark auburn OLD WITH hair. She colors it blonde to mask the gray When I asked Nancy to marry me over four decades ago, I thought I knew her. I thought I loved her. Now, half- listening to her describe the colors she planned to use in her next project, I realized how little I really knew or loved her in 1975. We have weathered many storms during our years together. Some of them were tsunamis. I do not even like to dredge them up in my memory. Our son suffered through divorce. Nancy’s beloved stepfather died. Two years later, I lost mine. Financial crises and long periods of unemployment rocked our marriage from time to time. Friends turned their backs on us because of our GOD By Richard Maffeo

FEBRUARY/MARCH 2017 SHALOM TIDINGS 45 commitment to Christ. And then there were a dozen military-related moves from one end of the country to the other, which forced us to leave family, friends, and familiar places. Sometimes I wonder how we survived it all. God’s grace? Unquestionably. Intervening from the shadows, often without revealing His hand, our Father brought peace when turmoil overwhelmed us, and freedom when guidance about moving from Florida. Gerry needs a job. fear bound us. He quieted us when, in frustration, we Helen’s son is ill. But because of that eighty percent, lashed out at each other instead of going to our knees because I communicate so often with Him, I know how before our God. to be intimate with Him when battles rage beyond my God’s grace, certainly. But something else has proven control. vital to our relationship: our communication with each other. In the first stanza of his poem, “Rabbi Ben Ezra,” I suppose better than eighty percent of our Robert Browning wrote, “Grow old along with me! The best discussions over the years have been casual. You know is yet to be. The last of life, for which the first was made, the kind: what’s for dinner, what happened at work, the our times are in His hand who said ‘A whole I planned, kids have colds . . . . But because of that casual eighty youth shows but half; trust God: see all, nor be afraid!” percent, she and I can also meet in intimate, deeply As husbands and wives grow old together, they learn personal conversations. We are able to talk about our what love and intimacy with each other looks like. When hopes, joys, fears and dreams because we have spent so men and women grow old with the King of Glory, they much of our time learning about each other. That is why learn what love and intimacy with Him is like. When I know her—and love her—so much more today than I did life’s storms rip at our foundations, when the hot breath when we married. of satan prickles down our neck, our deeply personal Which brings me to the real point. knowledge of God will be our fortress. Our passionate Thirty-nine years ago, I thought I knew Jesus. I thought love for Him, born through intimate communion, will I loved him. But, oh, how my knowledge of Him and my be our strength. Surely, that is one reason the prophet love for Him are so very different today than they were urged: “Seek the Lord while He may be found, call Him when I first offered Him my heart. while He is near” (Isaiah 55:6). Why? Unquestionably, because of God’s grace. But I am sure there is something else at work. © RICHARD MAFFEO was born into a Jewish home. Twenty-two years later, he discovered Jesus to be his Messiah. During the next Early in my walk with Christ, I learned the importance thirty-three years, he and his wife, Nancy, worshipped in evangelical of communing with Him in prayer, study of Scripture—and Protestant churches where he learned what it means to lean on Jesus since 2005 when I entered the Catholic Church—in the and to listen for His voice. Maffeo also earned his baccalaureate and Sacraments. Over the years, I have worn out three Bibles, seminary degrees from Assemblies of God schools. Then, in 2005, after discerning Catholic teaching in the light of the Scriptures, the Holy memorized scores of Scripture texts, and can allude Spirit led him into the Catholic Church. He continues to mature in his to a hundred more. I have spent time with Him in the passion for Christ, the Sacraments, prayer, and Scripture. Maffeo is a morning, the evening, and throughout the day. Fourth Degree Knight, has written three books, authors a blog (www. To be honest, most of my prayers—eighty percent?— TheContemplativeCatholicConvert.blogspot.com), and serves Christ in his parish, St. Benedict’s Catholic Church in Duluth, Georgia. This article are not what I would call passionate. You know the kind: is an excerpt from Maffeo’s second book, “Lessons Along the Journey.” Lord, I need a good evaluation at work. Mom needs Reprinted with permission.

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