slugmag.com 1 2 SaltLakeUnderGround slugmag.com 3 SaltLakeUnderGround • Vol. 23 • Issue #288 • Dec. 2012 • slugmag.com Publisher: Eighteen Percent Gray Marketing Manager: Karamea Puriri Editor: Angela H. Brown Marketing Team: Ischa B., Stephanie Bus- Managing Editor: Esther Meroño chardt, Emily Burkhart, Sabrina Costello, Tay- Contributing Editor: Ricky Vigil lor Hunsaker, Tom Espinoza, Kristina Sandi, Junior Editor: Alexander Ortega Brooklyn Ottens, Angella Lucisano, Nicole Office Coordinator:Gavin Sheehan Roccanova, Briana Buendia, Raffi Shahinian, Copy Editing Team: Rebecca Vernon, Victoria Loveless, Cassie Anderson Ricky Vigil, Esther Meroño, Liz Phillips, Rio Social Media Coordinator: Catie Weimer Connelly, Alexander Ortega, Mary Enge, Cody Kirkland, Johnathan Ford, Eleanor Distribution Manager: Eric Granato Scholz, Alex Cragun, Rachel Miller, Dave Distro: Eric Granato, Tommy Dolph, Tony Stuart, Katie Bald, Katie Panzer Bassett, Joe Jewkes, Nancy Burkhart, Joyce Bennett, Adam Okeefe, Ryan Worwood, Cover Photo: Dave Brewer John Ford, Cody Kirkland, Nate Brooks, Matt Cover Design: Joshua Joye Pothier, Phill Cannon Lead Designer: Joshua Joye Design Team: Eric Sapp, Eleanor Scholz Senior Staff Writers: Mike Brown, Mariah Design Intern: Jeremy Riley Mann-Mellus, James Orme, Lance Saunders, Ad Designers: Kent Farrington, Sumerset Bryer Wharton, Peter Fryer, James Bennett, Bivens, Christian Broadbent, Kelli Tompkins, Ricky Vigil, Gavin Hoffman, Jon Robertson, Es- Maggie Call, Eric Sapp, Brad Barker, Lindsey ther Meroño, Rebecca Vernon, Jimmy Martin, Morris, Paden Bischoff, Maggie Zukowski, Ben Trentelman, Tyler Makmell, Princess Ken- Thy Doan nedy, Sean Zimmerman-Wall, Cody Hudson, Website Design: Kate Colgan Shawn Mayer, Rio Connelly, Courtney Blair, Office Interns: Carl Acheson, Alex Cragun Dean O. Hillis, Jessie Wood, Chris Proctor, Al- Illustrators: Ryan Perkins, Phil Cannon, exander Ortega, Jeanette D. Moses, Madelyn Benji Pierson, Maggie Zukowski, Sean Boudreaux, Gavin Sheehan Hennefer, Robin Banks, Timm Paxton, Dylan Monkeys with Computers: Brian Kubary- Chadwick, Eleanor Scholz, Jared Smith cz, Some Cop Dude, Nate Housley, Dylan Photographers: Katie Panzer, Dave Chadwick, Megan Kennedy, Mame Wallace, Brewer, Barrett Doran, Jesse Anderson, John Tom Winkley, Henry Glasheen, Kia McGinnis, Barkiple, Chad Kirkland, Melissa Cohn, Johnny Logan, Lauren Ashley Paul, Gregory Megan Kennedy, Michael Schwartz, Brent Gerulat, Westin Porter, Cody Kirkland, Timo Rowland, Eric Scott Russell, Alex Pastucha, H., Ryan Hall, Jory Carroll, Ischa B., Alex Weston Colton, Jake Vivori, Gavan Nelson, Cragun, Kendal Gillett, Alex Springer, Nate Andy Wright, Gilbert Garcia Perkins, Brinley Froelich, Justin Gallegos, Scott Videographers: Mary Catrow, Slugger, Farley, Steve Richardson, LeAundra Jeffs, Brian Baade, Andrew Schummer, Brock Steve Goemaat, Darcy Wouters-Russell, Chris- Grossl, Candida Duran, Matthew Pothier, tian Schultz, Blake Leszczynski, Matt Brunk, Audrey Newhouse, Cole Quartuccio, Jordan Devereaux, Anna Kate Gedal, Jesse Perrylane Deker-Tate Thomas, Rebecca Frost, Trevor Hale Ad Sales: SLUG HQ 801.487.9221 SLUG Magazine’s Official Podcast: Angela Brown: Soundwaves From The Underground [email protected] Host: Dan Nailen Mike Brown: Producer: Gavin Sheehan [email protected] Executive Producer: Angela H. Brown John Ford: Associate Producers: Ricky Vigil, Esther [email protected] Meroño, Alexander Ortega, Dan Nailen About the Cover: SLUG photographer Dave Brewer got into the thick of UCW-Zero action to distill UCW superstar Martin Casaus giving Derrick Jannetty a run for his money. Casaus was caught rasslin’ dirty with merciless boot-choking on the ropes—read the full story by Dylan Chadwick on page 38! DISCLAIMER: SLUG Magazine does not necessarily maintain the same opinions as those found in our articles, interviews or advertisements. If you are easily offended, please do not blame us. We are a carrier for the voice of the people and it is not our fault if you don’t like people. Content is property of SLUG Magazine. Please do not use without permission, or we will hunt you down and make you pay for your sins. Now that’s a promise. Contributor Limelight: Dan Nailen – Soundwaves From The Underground Podcast Host Dan Nailen recently added his baritone enthusiasm to SLUG’s podcast, Soundwaves From The Underground, as the new host. Nailen is no stranger to Utah media, having formerly been a writer for the Salt Lake Tribune for over eight years, as well as the arts and entertainment editor for Salt Lake Magazine and managing editor of Salt Lake City Weekly. These days, Nailen has stepped away from his publishing and editorial roles and has taken on the role of Communications and Marketing Manager for the David Eccles School of Business at the University of Utah, where he writes and edits most of the press releases, brochures and catalogs that come from the business school. You can also find him around town going to whatever plays and shows he can get to for his own blog, SLCene. com, and as a freelance writer for Salt Lake Magazine. When he’s not pounding away on a keyboard or recording an episode, Nailen enjoys fine whiskey over a book, usually reading up on the culture of the American West. He roots for the Jazz, but bets on college football, and occasionally plays pub quiz trivia with his team, Chicks, Dicks & Stevie Nicks. Download the show every week to hear our host do his thing! 4 SaltLakeUnderGround slugmag.com 5 Dear Dickheads, lowest unemployment rate of all the states, so I sincerely think I am recently unemployed and been you really aren’t trying hard on the job hunt for a few weeks. Like enough—so, really, stop acting so most of your readers, I am in my entitled. Given your anti-pater- mid-twenties, and have had difficulty nalistic musings about your post- obtaining a job. I am contributing much 20-something elders, you are of this lack of employment on the part clearly a bleeding-heart liberal, of age-ism. On two separate occasions, so let me break this down for I’ve had potential employers generalize you: You’re never going to make me as a Millennial and their apparent any money. Ever. So, what’re a traits. According to the Baby-Boomer few weeks of unemployment? masturbatory aid, 60 Minutes, Mil- Basically, all that’s left for you, lennials are: lazy, ignorant, entitled, twentynothing, is to sell out to opinionated, materialistic and live in the Man at a call center or trade an “everyone wins” fantasy. To every in your liberal arts degree for Baby-Boomer and Gen Xer out there a business degree and hate that feels this way, I say, “fuck you.” yourself for the rest of your life. What did the Boomers do, but give up It seems like you do already, so on changing the world and embrace it should be easy. You could also cocaine-polyester parties? What did the rack up six—nah, fuck it, let’s moody boohoo Gen Xers do except give make it seven figures of debt in America Paul Ryan and... I think that is an endeavor to get through den- it. I’ve worked a job since the age of tal school and attempt to open 16, paid my way through college and up a reputable practice and bend struggled through all of my successes common folks over if you want and failures. I’m highly qualified and to break even someday. You paid these mindless dicks won’t look past my your way through school? You age. I find it disconcerting to be thrown need more debt—you don’t have into the lot of rare trust-fund children and enough street cred, buddy! Milk lazy assholes, when I myself work hard. your freedom and stop whin- How do I combat this ing—you could be like those crust generational stigma? punks with the huge backpacks by the library. Then you’ll REALLY Signed, have street cred, and I’m sure Not a twentysomthing fuck-up. Mom will let you crash in your old room once you get too cold. Dear twenty-fuck-face—or Besides, you’re young: You can whatever, always go retire in Portland. According to the Bureau of Labor xoxo, Statistics, Utah has the sixth- SLUG Mag FAX, SNAIL MAIL OR EMAIL US YOUR LETTERS! Fax: 801.487.1359 • Mailing Address: Dear Dickheads c/o SLUG Mag 351 Pierpont Ave. Ste. 4B SLC, UT 84101 or [email protected] 6 SaltLakeUnderGround slugmag.com 7 8 SaltLakeUnderGround slugmag.com 9 lbino Father originally spawned from the head shit.” He states that he brings the “loud” to the band, late-’80s, shoegaze dance beat. A of Matt Hoenes as a solo project made up of whereas Gordon brings the “pretty.” Until this sum- simple, multi-track recordings on his home computer, mer, Hoenes was the sole composer of all of Albino A humble and eclectic group of musicians who bring annually recording covers of Christmas songs he would Father’s songs, and throughout the past few years, a diverse musical background to the table, Albino give as cheap gifts for the holidays. Originally released has been teaching Green and Gordon the songs and Father avoid confining themselves to just one musical exclusively on the Internet, Hoenes’ solo project official- performing them live as a full band. Gordon says of genre. “I think someone told us we were psychedelic, ly became a band this summer, incorporating longtime their early performances as Albino Father that they so we just started saying that,” says Gordon. Green friends and former bandmates: guitarist BJ Gordon, didn’t really care what Hoenes was teaching them defines them as “playing what they enjoy,” stating drummer Kris Green and Color Animal’s Andrew to play—they would play whatever they wanted on- that, “If there are other bands that are doing the same Shaw on bass. stage, and as loud as possible. thing, give us their names.” Shaw recalls, after mov- ing to Salt Lake, how pleased he was by the diversity Nearly a decade ago, Hoenes and Green began “I’m not much of a lyricist.