Parents Role on Pornography Addiction in Children
Luluk Nadiyatun Nadziroh Faculty of Psychology State Islamic University Maulana Malik Ibrahim Malang, Indonesia
Keywords: pornography, addiction, parent
Abstract: Nowadays, the growth of children is in tandem with the advancement of internet information technology. Unfortunately, internet also provides some disadvantages in the form of vulnerability of information access that is not in accordance with the capacity of child’s growth development, for example pornography. Accessing pornographic content repeatedly will lead to addiction to pornography. Therefore, it is necessary to handle it from closest social relation that is parent. The study aimed to describe the role of parents overcoming children who are addicted to pornography by controlling the behavior of children in accessing pornography does not recur. This study used descriptive qualitative approach with case study research type and the form of single case. Methods of data collection in the study used participant observation and in- depth interviews with nuclear family consist of father (R) and mother (E) as the subjects, also grandmother (AZ) as the informant. The mother (E), as the main subject, had two children which one of them was addicted to pornography. Nuclear family live together with extended family. The result showed that the role of parents to overcome the children behaviour from accessing pornography through (1) controlling, family control the children behaviour from accessing pornography and using gadget, (2) modelling, family being role model for the children in the use of gadget, (3) building attachment with children, (4) building moral understanding that related to prohibition of accessing pornography which is not justified by religion and norms, (5) supporting activity, inviting children to do some activities that can avoid the use of gadget continously.
1 INTRODUCTION "Pornography is a picture, sketch, illustration, photo, writing, sound, animation, cartoon, poetry, Children use internet to do many things. Some use it conversation, gestures, or other forms of for educational purposes, the others use it for communication messages through various media of recreational purposes. As the internet is easy to communication and public performances that access, children is exposed to many kind of containing obscenity or sexual exploitation which information. One of the negative effect of easy violates the norms in society “. Based on that access to the internet is the increase of pornography definition pornography is exotic exposure through content accessed. This will bad to behavioral media to excite lust. problems and will disturb children development. Pornograhy leaves many negative effect toward Most children nowadays use gadgets like cellular the children.(Admin,2005).Accesing pornography phone or tablet in their daily life. This can be the can lead to serious addiction. McConnel and Keith main reason of easy access towards pornography. Campbell (as cited in Sidik Hasan,2008:15) Explains Gadgets are the main media in facilitating internet five effects of pornography exposure. First, the early access that leads to pornography access. The survey exposure. They access the pornography content reveals a shocking data from www.telkomsel.com, once, then it continuously become a habit. The next the survey held by Yayasan Kita dan Buah Hati stage are addiction, escalation, desensitization, and shows that in 2015 children between the age of 10 to action. 12 years are exposed to pornography. 90% percent Addiction is defined as a process whereby a of 2064 children already access pornography behavior, that can function both to produce pleasure contetns, 33% of them access it via internet. and to provide relief from internal discomfort, is The pornography according to the law No. employed in a pattern characterized by (1) recurrent 44 of 2008 in Chapter I, Article 1, Paragraph 1: failure to control the behavior (powerlessness) and
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Nadziroh, L. Parents Role on Pornography Addiction in Children. DOI: 10.5220/0008590604410449 In Proceedings of the 3rd International Conference on Psychology in Health, Educational, Social, and Organizational Settings (ICP-HESOS 2018) - Improving Mental Health and Harmony in Global Community, pages 441-449 ISBN: 978-989-758-435-0 Copyright c 2020 by SCITEPRESS – Science and Technology Publications, Lda. All rights reserved
ICP-HESOS 2018 - International Conference on Psychology in Health, Educational, Social, and Organizational Settings
(2) continuation of the behavior despite significant where the research conducted is because the negative consequences (unmanageability) researcher wanted to have the whole description (Goodman,1990). Lance Dodes states that there are about the subject role as a parent in dealing with the two types of addiction physical addiction, marked child. Besides, the researcher also determined to with addiction toward physical things like alcohol or observe the child behaviour after the exposure of drugs, and non physical addiction, marked with pornography content and the addiction. addiction towards nonphysical things like gaming. This study is a descriptive qualitative using the Pornography addiction includes in non physical approach of single case study/ This study used addiction. Two symptoms that can be recognized descriptive qualitative approach with case study from people who are addicted to pornography research type and the form of single case. Case study contents are dependence and withdrawal (Yee,2003). is use to gain more knowledge on a contemporer One who are dependent on a substance, in this case case. In this research, case study is set to gain pornography and the sensation resulted from it, information about parents role in dealing with child needs to access it in order to feel alive and survive. addiction on pornography. The data use is in the Without it he will be unable to do everyday tasks. If form of primary data from in the interview and he stops accessing it he will withdraw and anxious. observation. The source of the data is from direct Children addiction on pornography is a serious field research. problem. It needs parents, responsibility in solving The subject of this research is a mother of two it. Parents role is very important. Parents role is the children. The subject name is represented as (E). main aspect in dealing with the children addiction Between two children, there is one child who is towards pornography. The previous research exposed to pornography and addicted to it. The child explains that children behaviour determined by their name is represented as (F) a twelve years old boy. parents parenting pattern. Parent need to listen and The subject (E) works from 6 am to 5 pm in the understand their children. They also have to be the factory. As the result, the subject only have a little main role model for their children. time to control her children. During her 13 hours at (Hyoscyamina,2011:8-9). (Covey (in Yusuf 2006: home, half of it is used to sleep and rest. Therefore, 47- 48), that: Modelling (example of trust the amount of time for her children cannot be worthness) means that parents able to give good significantly measured. The subject in this research example for their children; 2) mentoring, means taht is limited to a subject that : (1) have pornography parents can build a good relationship and give their addiction child; (2) have children who are accessing children enough love that their children need; 3) pornography; and (3) that nurse their children organizing, means that parents can help children to directly and themseves. overcome the obstacle their children during their As the research instrument, the research is development; 4) teaching, means that parents teach directly involved and function as the main role in children basic knowledge and norms that applies in doing the pleminary research, data collection, data the society, so that children have “conscious analysis, and data presentation. The other instrument competence” that is used in this researc is interview guidelines This study aim to describe the role of parents in that have been arranged by the researcher. The overcoming children addiction towards pornography interview guidelines in the Table 1, 2, and 3 : by controllling the children behavior. this research tend to answer one question that is what is parents Table 1 : Parents Role role on pornography addiction in children. No. Parents Role 1. Modelling (example of How 2 METHOD trust worthness) means parents that parents able to give become a The research was conducted in an industrial region good example for their role in Gadang sub-district of Sukun, Malang, East Java. children model for based on data by BPS (Badan Pusat Statistik) of their Malang, in this region there are 44 medium and big children? factories on 2016. One of the factories is where the 2. mentoring, means that How subject is work. In 2010 there are 4401 families parents can build a good parents living in this region. It was conducted in the subject relationship and give their give house. The reason behind the choose of the location
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children enough love that attention (powerlessness). stop accessing their children need; to their (Goodman,1990:2) pornography? children? How Does your children control 3. organizing, means that How their behavior? parents can help children parents And how long to overcome the obstacle organize do the children their children during their their can control development children theirselves from activities? accessing pornography? 4. teaching, means that How 2. Continuation of the Does your parents teach children parents behavior despite children basic knowledge and cultivate norms that applies in the significant negative continued to society, so that children norms consequences watch have “conscious and (unmanageability) pornography competence” religion (Goodman,1990) after seeing it teaching the first time?
to their
children? This research uses structural deep interview method and obervation to fully understand about Table 2 : Background in Children Accessing Pornography parents role toward children who are addicted to Backgroun in Children Accessing pornography. The interview was done under the No. Pornography subject agreement and permission. According to Miles & Huberman there are four 1. Internal factor How do the children steps of interactive data models on data analysis on accessing access pornography? tehnique. The first step is data collection, the second pornography step is data reduction, the third step is data display, 2. External factor What external factors and the last step is conclusion or verification. on accessing do affect children in pornography accessing pornography? 3 RESULT 3. External factor From what media do on accessing children accessing The family as the closest environment of children pornography pornography? How play an important role in the process of children do the media development. the family also play a role in influence children on straightening out the abnormal behavior of children, accessing including children who are addicted to pornography? pornography). 4. Frequent How long do the The result shows that the role of parents to access of children accessing control the behavior of children from accessing pornography pornography? How pornography is : (1) controlling, parents control of frequent do the childrens behavior from accessing pornography and children accessing using gadget, (2) modelling, parents being the role pornography? model for children in the use of gadget, (3) building attachment with children, (4) cultivate moral understanding related to prohibition to access Table 3 : Pornography Addiction pornography which is not justified by religion and Pornography Addiction norms, (5) supporting activity, parents provide No. supporting activities that can avoid the use of gadget 1. Recurrent failure to Does your continuously. control the behavior children try to
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Parents role on pornography addiction in children
Picture 1 : Parents role on pornography addiction in children
(Controlling) The role of parents is very dominant use. Parental control in regulating the use of gadgets for the condition of children who are addicted to by children is based on advice from a psychologist pornography, because they become the main control who explains that the introduction of children to holders. Parents become the main control of the pornography initially through the internet accessed behavior of accessing pornographic sites. Parents set from gadgets. prohibition for children to access pornographic sites. “Managing the use of gadget is based on time, miss. “Don’t watch that (pornography, because it is For example, if my kid usually plays with a cell forbidden, and you are not ready for it, if somehow phone a whole day, I, now, limit the time, only from you were treated by God that way, what would you 07.00-08.00 p.m. otherwise, after school, my kid do? (I2/L34) plays with the gadget for a moment or after I come back from working I take the gadget. But it only The role of parents is also included supervision stays for a short time”. (I5/L1) of the use of gadgets by monitoring the history of internet browser. It is because the Gadget is a (Modelling) Behavior of accessing pornography facilitator media that contains various information, cannot be separated from the use of gadget done by including pornography. children. Parents provide examples of rules for using the gadget. Parents work together to establish a “The most important thing, my kid is not alone commitment in providing an example of regulating when he is accessing the gadgets. If I’m there, my the use of the gadget. kids won’t do something suspicious”. (I5/L34). “So, I myself don’t use a gadget as well as my “Every night, miss, I take the gadget from them. I husband in the evening “yah (addressing her don’t allow them to use the gadget. I’m afraid that husband), don’t use gadgets in the evening, so our my kids watch that (porn) without me knowing it.”. kid doesn’t envy” if not doing so, our kid will say (I1/L7). “why can’t I use the gadget, mom and dad also use it”, so to avoid the situation, and to make my kid " Yes, I see the internet history, once a week, understand that I don’t use the phone, so my kid can basically if there is a chance when he goes to bed or do the same.” (I1/L38). play, I check on his gadget at home Miss.."(I5 /L39) Parents set rules for particular of time that are Parents give an example to children in stopping allowed for children to use gadget to avoid excessive the use of gadgets as well as disable it. The effort
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Parents Role on Pornography Addiction in Children
was made to amplify the rules related to the use of stimulate children to choose to do behavior that is in gadgets set by parents. accordance with religion, norms, or moral. So that understanding of behavior - whether it is good “I take my kid’s gadgets, I also deactivate my or bad - will arise from the own self. The parents gadget, and I myself don’t use it. Yes, indeed, I don’t should apply religious teachings which are related to use my gadget. The whatsapp and my number were prohibit accessing pornography. Parents should deactivated, I also don’t play music. So, we are the emphasize to children that there will be same, not accessing the gadget”. (I5/L18) consequences for their sins and behavior. This affirmation is carried out to raise faith of children so Other than setting the rules, parents also need to that they do not repeat the sins. explain to their children that they are not using gadgets. The parents explanation is to build children “I continue to say that watching that kind of picture confidence so that children could imitate parents is including a forbidden thing, it’s a sin. I said “are behavior. you not afraid of a sin”, and then he answered, “I’m afraid”, then I said “so, F must not watch it again”, “Well, now I don’t use gadget, you also should not he said “ok mom”. I also said that it’s not good for use the phone. My phone has been shut down, so you him and he understood, and he also said “why I shouldn’t play with your gadget. Look, I have shutit watched that? (I1/L40) down. So, I really don’t access my gadget, miss.” (I5/L19) “Don’t watch that (pornography, because it is forbidden, and you are not ready for it, if somehow (Building Attachments) There are two ways to you were treated by God that way, what would you bound with children first by fullfilling the do?”. (I2/L34) psychological needs of the children (caring). Second, by being the place where the children can Parents instill understanding of the consequence share their story with (sharing). Accompanying of accessing pornography through YouTube. Parents children during sleep is the right moment for are showing videos that contain related messages as mothers to get close with their children. Building consequences of accessing pornography, especially attachments can lead trust so that children will be on homosexual content. open to parents about all activities and psychological conditions experienced by children. “So, I watch a YouTube video about the impact of watching homosexual porn video. I said to my kid, “Well, miss. Yesterday I accompanied my kid ‘look the impact if you watched the porn. Allah sleeping, and my kid wanted to share his experience would punish you”. (I4/L13). to me. I directly asked about it (porn), also how washe felt after watching it (the intonation of her Parents also explained that accessing voice was raising), and my kid said, “Well, I don’t pornography also violated community norms.Parents know”. (I2/L14) explain the nonacceptance of homosexual by providing a simple example that seeing same-sex Moreover, in this process, parents can also seek pornography is violating human nature because more information about their children experiences in same-sex relationships cannot produce offspring. accessing pornography. "Yes, it cannot be like that, if the person is known, “But, I asked how and where did he look it you will be able to go to prison, be arrested by the (pornography) yesterday. Yes, first he was covering police, because it violates religion, how can men it up, but after a long time, he finally wanted to tell and men have relationship, that is unacceptable, me about his experience. In the past, he said, he then if you do that, what will you be in the future, do knew from his friend, well it turns out he knows that you want to have children? Do you want to marry? after seeing on Google there are pornographic If that the case, you cannot have children. " (I5 / advertisements like that. Because he is curious. So L26) he knows it from there”. (I4 /L12) (Supporting Activity) Because of the lack of other (Cultivation of moral understanding) Commonly, activities available, children will be able to use their parents apply moral understanding in order to gadgets more often. Children tend to be lazy,
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consequently, the activity that supports them is done by the family through monitoring the internet playing their gadget. However, the children misused history. It is usually done by the mother while her the gadget by accessing pornography. To overcome child was sleeping (I2/L16), playing outside, the behavior, parents incite their children with more whenever there is a chance (I5 /L39), and at least adaptive activities than just playing their gadget. once a week (I2 / L15). In addition, the mother does Parents incite children on reciting Al Quran not allow her child to use the gadget at the night. activities. The father is a teacher for their children. The mother takes the gadget so that the child cannot access pornography again (I2/L35). The research “Let’s learn to read Quran. “Yes, but dad is often conducted by Barber, et al (1994) had explained that tired”, “ask him to teach you for a moment, a verse controlling the behaviour of children by parent, by a verse”. At that time, we learn to read Quran deals with their capacity to regulate the behaviour. once a week, but it’s not done lately. Not really Parents who take an active role in controlling the certain, Miss..”. (I2/L22) behaviour of children can cultivate self-control and awareness in children. To invite children to recite the Quran, parents give reward. If their children want to recite the 4.2 Modelling Quran, they will be given a reward of food they like. The reward is given to increase the spirit of the child Parents are the first and leading model for children to recite the Quran. (either positive or negative) and are a "way of life" “We offer rewards first, especially about what he for children (Joseph, 2006); John Locke argues that wants to buy if F wants to learn to recite the a good modelling greatly affects a childs behaviour. Quran.” (I5/L30) The parents should know that children models their behaviour (Sodik, 2014 as cited in Warisyah, Meanwhile, the parents have heard the advice of 2015:132). Modelling can be done by regulating and psychologists to provide activities for children to in restricting the use of gadgets at home. The results of order that they do not stick on accessing the gadget the modelling process lead to decrease in the which can lead them to access pornography. intensity of the use of gadgets by children. Modelling involves four processes: (1) “Well, keep giving them activities in order to avoid Attention, the process by which the observer / them accessing the gadget. The main point is to individual pay attention to the behaviour or make the children busy with other appearance of the model. Jones (2011: 435) activities.”(I1/L36). mentions the variable of attention is the characteristics of modelling stimuli (including, availability, specificity, personal attractiveness, 4 DISCUSSION functional value) and observer characteristics (including sensory capacity, excitatory level, perceptual habits, and previous reinforcement). 4.1 Controlling Children tend to imitate a warm, nurturing and powerful model (Brooks, 2004; 137). Therefore the According to Dwiputra (2017: 2) one of the factors mother acts as a model with a warmth approach to for the internet users, in accessing negative content children. (2) Retention, a process that refers such as pornography, is the lack of self-control individual efforts to include information about the because their attention focused only on the internet. model. Mothers provide an explanation to the child They can spend a lot of time to surfing in the that both mother and child do not use gadget. internet. Therefore, the children, as internet user, Explanation is done repeatedly to build beliefs in need a social control from the environment like the children so he can follow the mother's behaviour as a control parents. Behavioural control refers to the model (I2 / L3). rules, regulations, and restrictions that parents impose on their children, as well as monitoring their 4.3 Building Attachment activities intensely. (Xian Li, 2013: 1). Kakihara (2009) said that behavioural control focus on To obtain information about experiences in managing the adolescent behaviour by creating a accessing pornography is not easy because the regulation structure through several treatment such children were not being open. Therefore parents as monitoring and determining the limits of begin by building attachment with children. Building behaviour. In the result, behavioural control has
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Parents Role on Pornography Addiction in Children
attachment between parent and child is to provide therefore, taught that seeing pornography is an act care according to the needs of the child and become that must be avoided because it is included in an interactive social partner response to the child's immoral behaviour in which the act violates the experience (Brooks,2002: 110). Through these morality contained in religion (I2/L34). In the statements it can be drawn that there are two ways in religion of Islam seeing pornography is a violation building attachment with children that is by of obedience to the command of Allah SWT to providing care and become interactive social partner subdue the views of the material of immorality. who can sharing experiences with children. The Every behaviour has consequences as a result. treatment is related to the fulfilment of Violation of Gods provision has the consequence of psychological needs for children. Therefore, parents getting sin. This is emphasized by the mother to should engage the children by building attachment to strengthen the child's understanding of morality accompany the child during sleep. (I2/L6). violations of religion is done by seeing pornography. Therefore, the time to sleep is used not only by At the age of 6 to teenager, the child accompanying children but also invites children to environment has begun to grow not limited to the share stories about the experience of children during home environment. This is what makes the childs the day at school (I1/L40). interaction also more widely with the surrounding In addition, according to Durkin (1995 in environment according (Adiwardhana as cited in Ervika:16) attachment is a relationship supported by Gunarsa 1983: 69). The interaction between the an attachment behaviour designed to maintain that children and the various environments begins to relationship. The mother as a stimulant, forming develop the moral values that are understood from attachment by accompanying child during sleep the society. So the norms in society become because the child still asked to be accompanied benchmarks. Kohlberg states that at the age of 10-12 (I2/L6/E) as well as grandmother (I1/L40). years, the child is able to know well the reasons or Accompanying child during sleep is a form of principles that underlie a rule (Adiwardhana as cited attachment behaviour that is maintained by the in Gunarsa 1983:69). Children are able to mother to show attachment to the child. distinguish between various moral values as well as In addition to providing careful according by various situations where moral values can be Brooks (2002: 110) that one way to shape imposed. One is the provision of the rule of law. attachment between parent and child is to be an That seeing pornography violates the law and interactive social partner to responding about the consequently imprisoned (I5/L26). In addition child's experience. If seen from the point of view of beside legal norms there is a norm of morality the child, the child asks to be accompanied during associated with the behaviour of children in sleep is an attachment behaviour done to maintain watching pornography who love the genre of closeness and communicate with the figure homosexuality. It violates the norm of morality that according (Ainsworth:1985). the eastern people have believed that the nature of Expression of caring from the mother builds the relationship of two human beings are different security in the child. According (Ronald,2006:155) sex (heterosexuality) rather than a same sex the affectionate statement given by parents can (homosexuality). Explained by the subject mothers builds a sense of security and become part of the that seeing same-sex pornographic material fights family. At that time, mother can ask children about human nature because neighbour relationships the beginning of seeing pornography. Children, who cannot produce offspring (I5/L26) are being open with his /her parents by telling about In the process of learning, the child also learns his experience of seeingpornography (I2/L14). about the consequences of his actions. Reward or positive consequences will increase the potential for 4.4 Cultivate Moral Understanding behaviour to be repeated (Brooks, 2004:137). Similarly, the punishment given by parents to Human interaction has led the rule that is morality. overcome the problematic behaviour of the children, But naturally, the child is unable to understand the will reduce the possibility of such actions to be prevailing moral values without being preceded by repeated. Therefore, the mother confirms the ban on the stimulation of his environment. Parents as the the child by affirming the consequences besides sin closest family have a major influence on the moral by frightening. So that will appear care. The child development of children (Gunarsah: 1983:62). becomes open by allowing supervision on his Parents can teach how children should behave and gadget. what behaviour should be avoided. Mother
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4.5 Supporting Activity REFERENCES
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