· BULl ~RATE U.S. POSTAGE PAID Permit No. 2419 lPE ·lpm~l· I.C.,M•. FREE FREE NUMBER 11 YOU'LL NEVER GET RICH READING THE PITCH SEPTEMBER 1981 THE PENNY PITCH SEND L.~TT. ERS TO CtiAR\..ES CHANCE" JR. :still to make, in my next book. Very sincerely yours . CK/Q PI:. NY PITCH1 q12~ BROADWAY .e." 0 641 1 1f~~ Thanks for your consideration, LETTERS DR. FOGG is published by Another Strange Case (Dear Dr. Fogg: Dear Mr. Chance: If one were to make a partial list corre­ Thought you PITCH readers could separate lating national types of response during sheeps from goats for me concerning the .recent UFO encounters, it would probably 4128 BROADWAY following document: KANSAS CITY, MISSDURI64111 look like this: (816) 561·1580 2 May 1956 French - feet Bri tish - fists Edi tor ••.••......•..• Char Ie s Chance, ,Jr. Dear Mr. Burke: Koreans - head Americans - gun Assista.nt Editors ••.•. Rev. Dwight Frizzell Thank you for the clippings from Irish - shilelagh CONTRIBUTORS: Jay Mandeville the Kansas Times and Star. It is, of Mexicans - peyote Marla Edwards, Dan Conn, Sid MUsso, LeRoi, course, impossible for me to offer any Dave Conn, Chad Musso, Ala Mandelbaum, direct comments on this film, said to David "EJ" George, Charlie Wrobble, Iggy incorporate USAF material, which it had Pop, I-Sheryl, Willie Irie, Dennis Brown, been denied they even had in their secret Scott 0 I Kelley, Linda Bondank, Psychedelic files; for I have not seen it, and it may Furs, Brian Colgan, Mark 01 son, Chris be a very long time before it gets across Owens, David Brown, Fay Keller, Mark Roper, here. But if it is any consolation to Richard Van Cleave, Joe Steinger, Blind you, I should say that the Washington Teddy Dibble, Rodney Franks, Youseff Yancy, depts appear to number men and officials, Brookes DeSoto, Rev. Dwight Frizzell, Jay in their ranks, who have been in the Mandeville, Rosie Scrivo, John Sitter battle of Bunker I s Hill and don I t know it I S over yet. By which I mean they are INSPIRATION: L .M.B., NEW VALUES hopelessly out of date; for if intelli­ gence reaching me is true, I am told that some 10 people were in the last 5 years reported missing from farms in one region where not only have ufos landed--it is in the States, too--but entities have landed as well. I am far from liable to disse­ minate silly yarns, and I wish for good reasons that there might be no truth in it. However, I do not believe that these missing people vanished in the way known to normal police files. And if it is more consoling to you, I should also s mountain-sized head on the Marcahuasi say that, if your own Air Dept has not plateau, Peru has an uncanny resemblance come clean, the idiots here, in our Air to Sherman Blount who disappeared during Ministry and Royal Air Force have called UFO infestation 1954-56, northern Missouri. on the public to foot a bill for a ufo from Box 999 inquiry, and then arbitrarily removed from the public any knowledge of what Guy Sharpless #04498 they did or did not ascert in. Your Box 999 - Dorm official oysters at least do spiITSome Canon City, CO 81212 pearls; our bloody clams do not open even to vomi t and . ~~~l ~~i\!~~d some i;-h~~",~~~jtJ;J~~~Ii,<!,""",\*~\.:.a\f\'f.:~~~~?,!,~l?l-\~r**\~-0'v,:~,":":~''''~'\''''00:*. \ FIGURE 15.14 Young Joe Grimaldi as a monkey performing with his father, an eccentric buffoon, at Sadler's WeDs. Seen here is an accident in which a broken chain precipitated Young Joe into the audience. Engraving by George Cruikshank. From Memoirs 0/Joseph Grimald~ ed. by Boz (Charles Dickens), voL 1 (1838). THE PENNY PITCH PAGE 3 BACK-TO-BACK BACK TO SCHOOL SOUNDS ~K:::::~~~= now -00 Modeni Records. as a most distinctive new Includes the single, "Stop singer/~riter. This pop/jazz Draggin' My Heart Around:' based new LP takes her a step further with 'Songs like" A Lucky Produced ~,~im~~ ,~!1!:, Guy" and "We Belong .mm Together:' z :~~;;:GJk"~~':;;~~7!!Ii!tIIr'flv~'~" O~Wamer...B... R ...... wtTaPllS';*:rt 77'r;-' .'. enyeach other so they can discuss how :",~"'t T~<l:d! pO send me the "Penny Pitch". (Dear Jerry: Some of the PITCH staffers fre­ Ya got that? Thanx. kick-ass Styx or Journey was and argue quent CITY LIGHTS and agree that your wine about whether they played 4 or 5 encores. selection is great. Wine guzzlers to de­ G. Sharpless We actually listened to John Lennon, and manding connoisseurs should palate a Sutter­ Bob Marley before they died. And we also home White zinfandel, a Cubaison Chardonay, P.S. The prison won't support a prison listened to the Doors before that trashy Estrella River Reisling, or a Gundlach­ book came out and made Jim Morrison fash­ Bundschu Cabernet. Check it out yourself.) band. So we don't support the prison. ionable. Maybe someday our fellow subur­ (Dear Guy: Yea, we got it and you'll get banites will join us. But I wouldn't hold it too as it comes out. Read this to mean my breath, or stay up nights. .MUSIC INDustRY we support the realization of a prison Dear Rex: band.) Tastefully yours, Adam Cohen a.k.a. '(Aluih, Uncle Bob) These days everyone wants to be a song­ writer. I am no exception! Havinq Penny Pitch, P.S. We also have our share of bands with little exposure to the music industry­ good taste. Check out the Members or the I'm not sure where to go from here. I love your paper, thanx for all your Excuses. I've written alot of songs and really crazyness. need your next issue: "Opening the P.P.S. Good luck Charles, and thanks Big Man's Door" Quick! Warren. Novice Too Long .(Dear Adam: For lack of a better term, Love our dear Mr. Cohen, we ENCOURAGE, wholeheartedly, your search for the (Dear Love: We, ,. too, eagerly await the deprav~d and decadent in Johnson County. blinding millenium when the big man's Hard to come by in any part of town, but door opens for you.) perhaps even more difficult to uncover Callin" All Slcaptics_, in the suburban twilight ••. ) Bush's No.• Spot Dear Charles: Hi! MOIl. WIN. Well I'm about to treat all of you skeptics I'd like to thank all those special Kansas too a little known secret. Not all of us Dear Sirs, Citians who put Kate Bush's Never Forever Johnson County Bighschoolers (for lack of in the II spot on the Imports better sel­ a better term) are into suburban rock, I appreciate the fact that one of your staff lers list. I thought nobody'in K.C. knew pseudo heavy metal, or other terms of considered and wrote a review,of my restau­ who she was except me! It's nice to find trash for cash. Yes astonished ones rant, The City Light. However your reviewer out otherwise. believe your eyes. I admit in these de­ is misinformed and has made an error that -Although Kate is very well known in Eng­ praved and decadent times this seems about should be corrected. land, I imagine it will be a long time as likely as seeing Nancy Reagan at the before I stop hearing comments like: Grateful Dead; but some of us do have Apparently he assumed that a table tent, Kate Who? When I try to turn people on what you called musical taste. Yes there used to inform the public of periodic wine to her unique style of music. is a small but evergrowing group of us. specials, was our entire wine list. in I've got a few articles about Kate that We acutally enjoy listening to people like fact, there are 20 other wines on the list were sent to me from friends of mine in the Stones, The Who, Dylan, The Clash, representing the best of the California England. If any of yo'u Kate fans are etc. with a liberal sprinkling of Dead "boutique" wineries. interested in having copies of them free, Heads also. Can you also believe that just drop mea line. Include your tele­ some of us like black peoples music too: I am justifiably proud of-our list and our phor.e number if you want to and I'll get We have our share of Blues afficionados .role in bringing K.C. some unusual wines back to you. Thanks. I and Rasta Brothers. We would also like of excellent quality. Please inform your to declare that we have nothing in common ~eviewer of this, perhaps he would like to Vickie Mapes with the hordes of twisted people who write a retraction. 524 Benton Blvd. 114 C enjoy cramming themselves into Kemper If any questions arise do not hestitate to K.C., MO 64124 a to sit a ~ mile from their respective call me at 444-6969. heartthrobs and rock heroes; just so Put out the Light. then put out the light­ they can acquire a T-shirt to wear the Yours, Vibes in the sky invite you to dine, Dust to dust. Blow to Blow, I next day. These shirts help,them iden- Jerry Meyor Bolan and Moony are heading the show tonight by Kate Bush i THE CONCLUDED DINOSAUR UPDATE ~~--------~===---~------~ The Roy Mackal-Herman Dear Pitch, Regusters Expedition to the African Continent Of course; I'm no expert, but asa longtime in search of the elusive obeserver of the "scene", I must boldly "mokele-mbembe"--a suggest that there is a renaissance of sorts creature believed to be going on in Westport.