Renaldi Aims to Emulate Sylvester Dias

Monday 2nd 14 August, 2010 Facts, true stats and non-fiction – the SSC pitch fiasco . Death in the afternoon line facilities available in the second When it was over, he grumbled with innings. the incredulous comment: “This SSC The Chesterfield Files When this tour was rushed through pitch is getting slower and lower with early last month by the unelected govern- each series. This body (he was then 34), ment appointed ad-hoc coterie known as can’t churn out so many overs a Test for the Interim Committee, and the schedule much longer. I really need to talk to the was released, Muralitharan knew at curator about the bounce. No bowler is once, why his swansong would be at going to enjoy these conditions if they Galle. All anyone need do is look at the continue to be like this. It was really plethora of statistics from this latest Test hard work, among the hardest I have had SSC debacle for an explanation. to bowl in.” Galle International’s congenial con- The late Bob Woolmer, a good friend fines offered a better chance of a result of mine, once described the SSC pitch as than the soulless pitch prepared at SSC. the “difference between condemning Murali wanted one where he knew he bowlers to hard labour instead of honest had a chance of getting his eight wickets toil,” (a quote from the drawn 2006 for 800. At the Maitland Place venue, the game). It is why it has defeated local run factory would have denied him Harbhajan Singh; in four games, his BY TREVOR CHESTERFIELD such an opportunity. record is nine wickets at 71.44. and Shane He had enough experiences of the Warne’s three games also earned him SSC conditions through the noughties nine wickets with best match figures of Officials and administrators to give him nightmares for the rest of 6/207. mouthing platitudes won’t help either, as his fruitful retirement. He was asked to There was a comment once that Sri they have all been said over and over. But perform like any sweating labourer, con- Lanka should switch from using the just maybe, those responsible for this lat- demned to some chain gang by a Kookaburra to the Dukes (England) or est farce, where rain didn’t interfere in fiendish curator who has a problem SG - Sanspareils Greenlands (India). The the result (what result?), should be asked understanding how Test cricket needs a latter two are made from buffalo hide a few questions of what they are trying pitch like those at Galle and and have a more pronounced seam that to achieve. Also, the interim committee Saravanamuttu, which are creative and lasts for fifty overs; the Kookaburra is of SLC needs to explain their policy to India’s captain M. S. Dhoni . tongue in cheek suggestion about “dead fifth days” of bring results. made from cowhide and the seam lasts allow such a pitch in what became a a Test explains his disgust It is four years since Muralitharan about twenty-five overs. As Fanie de tired, desultory exercise of run-factory here is a book on one of my bowling was minus the retired Muttiah gave the SSC pitch conditions a back- Villiers once said, he preferred the making. library shelves titled “Death in Muralitharan and injured Lasith handed compliment. In 2006, he had just Kookaburra as the inside seam allowed Why, to attract larger than normal TThe Afternoon”. Malinga. India’s was headed by a couple taken 10 wickets for the 54th time on a for better reverse movement. spectator numbers, they even opened cer- It is a non-fiction paperback written of rookies and an unfit Harbhajan Singh. pitch that produced a world record part- This suggests that offering criticism tain gates so that the public could find a by Ernest Hemingway, first published in History through the noughties shows nership of 624 between Kumar of weak bowling attacks is camouflage new place to sleep undisturbed. 1939, about bullfighting. This is a sport a high percentage of draws at the SSC, Sangakkara and Mahela Jayawardene and such comments in these files are not Last November in Motera, Sri Lanka that has been popular since the mid- even with better bowling resources than against a struggling South African bowl- going to be appreciated or enjoyed, but and India played out a similar farcical 1700s in many Spanish-speaking coun- the two sides have had at their disposal ing attack. He was the only bowler to statistics as these are of the fact, not the game as Sri Lanka relied on the aging tries, although, Yahaluweni, there are this Test, and where even bowlers like make an impression in that Test, with pulp fiction variety and suggests that the Muralitharan to bowl the side victory. It those animal rights protest groups who Muralitharan have at times, struggled to Nicky Boje giving away 221 runs in 65 International Cricket Council now need didn’t happen; in fact, it was never going disagree with it being called a “sport”. It make an impact. And here, forget games overs of toil and trouble. A wicketless to have a points system for Test venues, to happen. has now been banned from the Catalonia involving Bangladesh, Zimbabwe and Boje’s philosophical post-match com- starting with Motera, Ahmedabad. It is why when reviewing Day Four of (Barcelona) region of Spain. West Indies; there are times they could- ments were, “I guess someone has to set Someone has to accept accountability. that Motera Test for an Indian website While not quite death in the after- n’t beat their own shadow. records. How many bowlers have conced- What there was, however, over the and Mumbai tabloid, and hearing the noon on this latest occasion, “slow stran- As it is, Murali heads the list of wick- ed double centuries at this venue?” five days for the SSC Test is an utter dis- remarks around the Colombo traps at the gulation” is perhaps, a more apt et-takers at SSC: 166 in 24 matches at To this, South African all-rounder grace. But they won’t probe the reasons time of that game, these were of how the metaphor to describe what happened at 20.69; trailing in his wake are Chaminda Andrew Hall added the laconic, “It for this farce. It explains the lack of Murali doosra and other fancy tricks, the second Test at the Singhalese Sports Vaas, 80 wickets in 21 matches at 25.05, explains it all. How he (Muralitharan) transparency surrounding such tricky would give Sri Lanka a first Test win in Club that ended on Friday. Test cricket, Sanath Jayasuriya (26 wickets in 22 can get the ball to turn on this slab of issues. It would be interesting to know India. It was not smart thinking. already in trouble, is in danger of losing games), Rangana Herath (22 in six concrete suggests the difference between what Andy Atkinson would have to say if It ignored the off-spinner’s declining serious public appeal if this disgrace is games), Lasith Malinga (20 wickets in six a genius and a clairvoyant.” he had a look at the SSC surface. The ICC success rate in 2009. His final match allowed to carry on unchecked. matches), with Dilhara Fernando prop- On that occasion, South Africa were pitch inspector has already made unhap- analysis of 3/221 at Motera was far It also suggests either those responsi- ping up this list (18 wickets in nine missing both Graeme Smith and Jacques py noises about Premadasa Stadium. worse than the 2005 effort, giving him an ble for this latest dereliction of preserva- games with an average of 41.22). Kallis, both recovering from operations And little wonder that India’s captain Indian career return at that stage of 34 tion of Test cricket are in fact paid up In fact, Anil Kumble (16) and Daniel and watching the carnage at home. Mahendra Singh Dhoni poked fun at the wickets at 42.58. members of the local flat earth society, Vettori (12) have fair records for the Boje’s record at SSC is eight wickets in thought of finding a better way to spend It is why venues such as the SSC is or are just plain scared to prepare a pitch number of games they have played at three matches, the first was a haul of the fifth day of such a dead contest. earning a reputation as a killjoy in terms where there are results likely to favour SSC. Being a top spinner helps as apart five in the third, rain-affected third Test “Chuck suck tracks” seemed to be his of Tests and SLC need to seriously think the opposition, preferring instead, a from the odd sortie (Brett Schultz, nine of the 2000 tour. nose thumbing criticism of what has their options of whether they are just legion of meaningless records. wickets) and Mohammad Asif (six) tour- Muralitharan’s contribution in that long been wrong with the pitch and plain frightened to produce a pitch Naturally, the national curator ing teams seam and swing bowlers have 2006 Test is ten wickets for 172 runs dur- where a Sri Lanka attack minus Muttiah where the opposition will win; as was the Anuruddha Polonwita is going to appor- generally struggled. It was Schultz’s left- ing 82.2 overs, explaining how in such Muralitharan struggled to take wickets. case in 2006 in Kandy where Mohammad tion blame somewhere else for the latest arm pace in 1993, which condemned Sri conditions why he was long the back- While mischievous, this Dhoni com- Asif wrecked Sri Lanka’s batting on the in a string of drawn matches at SSC.

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