Boyband Battle

BOYBAND BATTLE

By Shaun Blake

A SMITH SCRIPT

This script is protected by copyright laws. No performance of this script – IN ANY MEDIA – may be undertaken without payment of the appropriate fee and obtaining a licence. For further information, please contact SMITH SCRIPTS at [email protected] Boyband Battle

Boyband Battle

A Jukebox Musical based on Boyband songs By Shaun Blake

Version 8

Boyband Battle

Characters: Note due to difficulty it can be to source 10 men, the other ‘male’ characters who are not in the bands are all gender neutral, also 1 member of each band (Nick and Dave) are optional so you can have 4 piece bands instead of 5.

Cast size recommended – 8 male, 6 female, 3 can be either male or female and 2 other optional characters male.

The Monday Boys / Jetpax

Jason Anthony – Lead singer of Jetpax

Dan Riffster – second main singer and generally band leader

RU (Ryan Ugo) – bad boy persona

Sam Garber – most musical person/songwriter and backing vocalist, wishes to be singer but Jason is selected due to looks etc.

Nick Genio – dancer. Very camp and OTT (Optional character – most of his lines can be either cut or re- allocated to the other guys if the character doesn’t feature)

Catapultz

Scott Bernard – Leader and lead singer. Talented but not the brightest person.

Gary Lynch – A confrontational jerk

Mike Prater – Scott’s friend and has an interest in Kayla.

Zack Johnson – The comedian of the group.

Dave Raymond (Optional character, only use if you have Nick or enough men in the cast – has very little dialogue)

Fans of Catapultz

Kayla Bernard – Scott’s sister and Jason’s potential girlfriend

Christine Mosely – Scott’s girlfriend

Michelle Whyte – friend of Kayla and Christine. Also serves as a backing singer

Georgie Lynch – friend of Kayla and Christine. Also serves as a backing singer

Others

Richard/Ruby Robertson – Record producer and manager of Jetpax

Amy Sullivan – A Choreographer

Judge Smith – A Judge (can double with other characters)

Charlie Hudson – Lawyer prosecuting (can double with other characters)

Debra Thomas – Lawyer defence (can double with other characters)

Craig Gardener – Reality TV Judge (can double with other characters)

Guard & Journalist (can double with other characters)

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Boyband Battle

Boyband Song List

Act 1

One Way or Another – One Direction

When Will I Be Famous – Bros (Matt Goss version)

Take On Me – A1 (Closer to A Ha version)

Everybody Get Up – 5Ive (only the chorus)

I’m Glad You Came – The Wanted (based on a mix between Megan Nicole version and Boyce Avenue’s version)

Everybody in Love – JLS (just the chorus once, based on their acapella version)

Let’s Dance – 5Ive (shortened to a bridge and chorus)

Blame It On the Boogie – Big Fun (Soul City version) or Rock the Party - Five

Uptown Girl – Westlife (with the intro taken from a live version but the rest more like the original)

Invisible – D-Side (only a verse and chorus)

I Want It That Way – Backstreet Boys (based on Max Schneider and Alyson Stoner’s version but maybe with backing a little more like the original)

No Place That Far – Westlife (Sarah Evans and Vince Gill’s version – Only the chorus once)

Live While We’re Young – One Direction (Megan Nicole version maybe raised a key or two to suit female singers better)

Bye Bye Bye – Backstreet Boys (based on Lily Rouge version but more theatrical)

If Ya Gettting Down – 5ive

Act 2

Step By Step / You Got It The Right Stuff – New Kids on the Block

All Rise – Blue

All or Nothing – O-Town (optional song if you need time to change the scene from courtroom to jail)

Fool Again – Westlife (based on Penelope Matanguihan version in terms of key but would prefer backing more like the original)

Picture of You – Boyzone

Gave It All Away/Baby Can I Hold You mashup – Boyzone

Knockout – Triple 8/Super Junior

The Wild Boys – Phyxx

When You’re Lookin Like That - Westlife

Flying Without Wings – Westlife (based a little on Bryan McFadden and Deltra Goodrem’s version for vocals but with the Westlife version backing)

Can you Feel It – V (Based on a choir version similar to The Jacksons version)

Keep on Movin – 5Ive

Some alternative suggestions to slot in where appropriate if you have issues getting the rights:

Larger than Life, Everybody Backstreet’s Back, If You Come Back, Drowning, Words, Walks Like Rhianna, What Makes You Beautiful, End of the Road, From The Heart, Dirty Pop Version 8

Boyband Battle

Song List (Musical Numbers)

Act 1

One Way or Another – Scott, Gary, Mike, Zack, Dave (Catapultz)

When Will I Be Famous – Dan, Ryan and Sam

Take On Me – Dan, Jason and Ensemble

Everybody Get Up - Catapultz

I’m Glad You Came – Christine, Georgie and Michelle

Everybody In Love / Let’s Dance – Jason, Dan, Nick, Ryan, Sam and Amy

Blame It On the Boogie or Rock the Party – Solo girl and Ensemble

Uptown Girl – Jason, Sam, Dan, Ryan and Nick (Jetpax)

Invisible - Mike

I Want It That Way – Kayla and Jason

No Place That Far – Kayla and Scott

Live While We’re Young – Georgie and Michelle, Christine and Kayla

Bye Bye Bye – Christine and backing vocalists

If Ya Gettting Down – (Jetpax and Catapultz) – Both bands, led by Jason and Scott

Act 2

Step By Step – Amy, Dan and Sam and backing vocalists

All Rise – Judge Smith, Jason, Charlie, Debra and Company

Take on Me (Reprise) – Jason

All or Nothing – Christine (optional)

Can You Feel It (slow version verse) - Jason

Fool Again – Kayla

Picture of You – Sam and Amy

Gave It All Away/Baby Can I Hold You – Richard/Ruby, Jason, Kayla, Scott, Christine

Knockout - Scott, Gary, Mike, Zack, Dave (Catapultz)

Wild Boys – Jason, Sam, Dan, Ryan and Nick (Jetpax)

Flying Without Wings – Jason and Kayla

Can You Feel It or Keep on Movin – Company (can use both songs if you wish)

Megamix – Company

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Boyband Battle

Synopsis

Act 1

The show starts with a load of fans at a big concert. The concert is for a band named Catapultz, and they perform (Larger Than Life or No Strings Attached). They are cheered by their fans and the lead singer, Scott greets his girlfriend Christine along with his sister Kayla and Michelle and Georgie. On the way out the boys mistreat some of their stage crew/and front of house staff, Dan, Sam and Ryan, and Catapultz taunt them. Dan, Sam and Ryan, feeling a bit jealous of Catapultz success (and wondering why they are acting like jerks to them) vent to each other and decide to try to form their own band, spotting an ad for auditions (When Will I Be Famous). Dan then goes to his friend Jason to try to persuade him to audition for his band (Take On Me).

Christine talks about her excitement about Catapultz and her boyfriend’s futures with Kayla, Michelle and Georgie (I’m Glad You Came). People are trying to set Kayla up with Catapultz member Mike, but she is not interested in him.

The auditions are held by manager Richard and after a bunch of interesting auditions, Jason shows up at the last minute, along with new member Nick. The band is formed and they are called The Monday Boys. They begin practice after being introduced to choreographer Amy (Everybody In Love/Let’s Dance)

During a party celebrating Catapultz’s award, the two bands have a dance/off competition to try to impress the crowds. During said party, Jason catches the eye of Kayla and the two start a romance (Blame it On The Boogie). This is broken up when Dan and Scott cause a scene and the party is drawn to an abrupt halt.

Jason tells the guys of his newfound feelings for Kayla (Uptown Girl). The Catapultz continue to prank Sam, during which Mike sees Kayla who tells the boys to leave Sam alone. Mike shows worrying signs of stalking Kayla (Invisible). Kayla and Jason meet up again (I Want it That Way). Kayla tells Jason the story of Scott and herself and how Scott has lost his way with fame (No Place That Far).

Christine believes Scott is going to propose on their next date, but instead he sets up the mood, only to gloats about his career and then announces he’s added additional dates to his tour meaning they will spend less time together. The girls cheer her up with an impromptu ‘Hen Party’ mistakenly believing Scott is about to propose (Live While We’re Young). However at their date, Scott does not propose, and spends the whole time talking about himself and his career. Getting fed up with his absenteeism and flippancy she gives him an ultimatum (Bye Bye Bye).

Catapultz, who are less than pleased with the growing success of Jetpax, plus unhappy with discovering that Jason has started dating Kayla, and then after a conflict over booking the same studios, challenge them to a dance off (If Ya Getting Down). Ryan gets out of control and a brawl ensues and Scott is injured after Mike from Catapultz stages an incident to make it look like it was Jason’s fault.

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Boyband Battle

Act 2

Jetpax attempt to continue working without Jason, with a bit of assistance from Amy (Step By Step/You Got It (Right Stuff)). After rehearsal Amy discovers Sam is a songwriter and tries to give him encouragement to step up his game. With the negative stories about Jason in the press as he has been accused of assault. Jetpax contemplate that they may need to continue without him. After a court case, Jason is put into custody (All Rise). Christine’s friendship with Kayla is jeopardised (All or Nothing). Jason is however concerned for his future, realising that although he loves Kayla, he feels he cannot be with her if she remains friends with Christine, who is adamantly loyal to Catapultz. Therefore he tries to end things with her but she refuses to give up on him and convinces him to rejoin Jetpax. However feeling responsible for what happened to Scott he pushes her away (Fool Again).

Sam worries about how the band will be able to perform at their upcoming festival, especially without Jason, when they have a chance to show themselves up and to prove their worth to Catapultz. He confides his fears to Amy and shows her more of his talents. During her choreographing his dancing, the two then realise they have feelings for each other in the rehearsal (Picture of You) Jason is acquitted when it is discovered Mike was the one who pushed Scott however this is kept from the rest of Catapultz.

Christine helps Scott to recover. Jason, Kayla, Richard, Scott and Christine talk to various supporting characters to try to reflect on their choices and actions and where they will go from here (Gave It All Away/Baby Can I Hold You). At the pop festival, Jetpax and Catapultz are both performing. Catapultz, being a major established band, feel they have their fans in the bag, and even attempt to one up Jetpax by stealing their setlist. Scott recovers and performs with his bandmates (Knockout), Jetpax are forced to improvise at the festival with a different song (The Wild Boys). Jason decides to win Kayla back (When You’re Looking Like That) then he and Kayla reconcile (Flying Without Wings). The truth about Scott’s accident is revealed to have been a set up by member Mike, resulting in him being kicked out of the band.

The fans show their appreciation for both groups and they come together, finally having found a mutual respect after Mike is kicked out of Catapultz. Catapultz apologise for the way they treated the others when they were tech crew etc to their new crew and Jetpax decide not to one-up the other groups. After a decision from Scott to go solo, he proposes finally to Christine, Kayla is given another chance at a music career and the bands combine for the finale (Can You Feel It and/or Keep on Movin)

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Boyband Battle

Staging My recommendation is that if you have a live band, this is one of the shows where you can have the band on stage behind the cast at the back. Advantages to this means if you do not have an orchestra pit, it could help the sound (feel free to have drum shields). The idea is much of the show is to look like either a pop concert or a recording studio or a rehearsal studio. So that’s the look to head for so you can have a black background and use the band almost as the set to a degree. Also you can use handheld mics for much of the singing and make use of them in the choreography If you wish to use headsets this is ok as well, but again, it’s ok if these are visible due to the nature of the show. It may be an idea also to have at least one mic if not two fixed that look like a recording mic. However this can just be a prop and does not have to be real. Keep the sets for the hospital/bedroom and pub to a minimum. Scenes/sets: Act 1

Prologue Backstage Scene 1 On Stage Scene 2 Pub Scene 3 Rehearsal Studio Scene 4 Rehearsal Studio Scene 5 Dance Hall or Club Scene 6 Pub Scene 7 Front of tabs/outside? Scene 8 Recording Studio – transitions into stage Scene 9 Bedroom & Open space Scene 10 Restaurant Scene 11 Rehearsal Studio & Open space

Act 2

Scene 12 Rehearsal Studio and open space on the other side Scene 13 Courtroom Scene 13b In front of a tab if needed to clear courtroom Scene 14 Jail Scene 15 Recording Studio Scene 16 Hospital / Physio and Jail Scene 17 Backstage Scene 18 Backstage / On Stage Scene 19 Rehearsal Studio Scene 20 Pub

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Boyband Battle

Act 1

Prologue

During the audience entering, three guys come on stage (Dan, Ryan and Sam). They are dressed in all blacks (Ryan wearing a cap) and are carrying stage equipment (anyone in the audience would think they are stage crew for this show). They ad lib a bit giving each other directions of stuff to sort out on stage and generally moving some stuff around, showing off their personalities. Sam occasionally breaks out into song randomly, irritating Ryan. Most of what they are saying can be adlibbed until the real stage manager comes on and gives the que to start the show proper. Then the lights will lift and the dialogue will be as follows:

Dan: Ok you ready for a sound check?

Sam: (sings to the tune of Elton John ‘Are You Ready for Love’) “Are you ready? Are you ready for sound check? Yes I am, are ya!”

Ryan: Sam! Put a cork in it.

Sam: Sorry, didn’t realise that was out loud.

Dan: You can sing in a minute. Hear put this on. (puts a headmic on Sam)

Sam: Why we even bothering with a sound check? We know they’re gonna mime anyway.

Ryan: Mime? Isn’t that what those weird dudes with white makeup and silly wigs do with their hands, freezing still then suddenly out of nowhere, waving them all over the place over your faces hoping you’ll put money in their baskets. Wooooo look at mee! Yahoooooo wahaaaa (starts mimicking a mime artist very over the top, waving his hands over Sam’s face, irritating him, Sam slaps his hand away). Means this’ll be pretty crappy for a music concert.

Sam: Lip syncing you twat.

Dan: We’ve gotta soundcheck the band, and they’re gonna do shout outs to the crowd anyway. (Mimic’s) “Hey how you doing?”

Ryan: Who’d wanna hear them singing anyway?

Dan: 10000 many people apparently. Ok that’s on right. Can you say something?

Sam: Testing 1 2 3

Dan: Anything but that! You now have permission to sing, irritate us all you want.

Sam: Hey. My singing doesn’t irritate anyone!

Ryan: Hahaha ahem!

Dan: Ryan shut up!

Sam: Ok. Ummm. (Sings)

Dan: Ok that’ll do

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Boyband Battle

Ryan: Ok I’ll admit, pretty good. Why don’t you let me do the singing on the sound check?

Dan: Why don’t you sound test a bunch of voodoo and animal noises etc? You may as well do as that’s what you sound like!

Ryan: Now that’s uncalled for. I do good impressions I do. Like this (does a very cringworthy bad impersonation)

Dan: Aaaand…. That’s why we don’t let you do the sound check! Now get those lights sorted.

Catapultz (Scott, Gary, Zack, Michael and Dave) all enter from one side of the stage

Sam: Hey, have a great show guys!

Dave: Move out of our way losers! (Shoves Sam over, Michael laughs and points at him.)

Zack: The stars are coming through now. We’ve no time for little people like you.

Dan: Who are you to tell us………

Scott: We are here to tell you to just do as we tell you, when we tell you, how we tell you.

Ryan: Try saying that fast 50 times

Scott: Just get out of our way and do your job!

Catapultz exit

Sam: Nice fellas.

Dan: Come on, let’s just get to our posts.

Dan, Sam and Ryan exit

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Boyband Battle

Scene 1

The lights come up on Catapultz who are already in position. Big pop concert number this is.

Song: One Way or Another (Teenage Kicks) - Catapultz

Crowd goes nuts, lights go off Catapultz (who have returned to their starting positions before the number) and we are back to the crew. The Catapultz members exit during the ensuring dialogue ready to enter from off stage

Ryan: They really still going? This has been like the longest hour ever.

Dan: It’s their last song now. Besides our job’s done now, until we have to pack all this crap away.

Ryan: They get the easy job, one hour of performing then they just go. Whatever happened to musicians coming in and setting up their own equipment, with their own roadie, playing and the clearing away themselves like proper musicians’ right?

Sam: Why are you complaining? We get paid for this!

Scott and Jack walk on unnoticed by Ryan, but noticed by Sam and Dan.

Ryan: Yeah well when I signed up for stage crewing at this arena, I thought I was gonna be working for (mentions some famous bands) not these Disney princesses.

Scott and Jack are joined by the other three, who during this next speech start to surround Ryan looking unamused. Sam and Dan try to gesture Ryan to shut up.

Ryan: I bet they haven’t worked a day in their lives. Hey hey, I reckon their mamma’s still do their washing, makes their beds etc. And they probably like watch chick flicks in their limos all day, while drinking prosecco. Never beer, always prosecco. You know I bet also that they rehearse wearing tutu’s, with bloomin hairbrushes in their hands which they use as mics, and they’re so vain they comb their hair in the middle of their rehearsals too. Cause sings, ‘they’re so vain, they probably think this speech is about them’ stops singing. They’re standing behind me aren’t they? (turns starts to back away)

Scott: And that, pal, is why we go out there, and you’re stuck in here, laying down our red carpets, and cleaning out our trash.

Zack: Yeah maybe you guys would actually get somewhere in life if you didn’t hang around with Captain Idiot over there.

Dan: Look I’m sure he didn’t mean any of that.

Ryan: You know what I did actually. Who do you think you guys are, pushing us around like earlier? You know, you wouldn’t even have a bloody show if it weren’t for us.

Gary: Please, if we didn’t have you guys, we’d find some other stupid unqualified muppets to take over the running of our shows. Actually even better, why not we get some people who actually have a life.

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Dan: Makes you feel big does it? Shoving around guys you feel you’re superior to? Acting like you own the place.

Scott: We will own the place. We’ll own the whole music industry, while you guys will still be cleaning our toilets for all I care.

Mike: Why we wasting our time with you losers? You’re never gonna amount to anything. We’re going up up up to the top.

Zack: We’ll see you losers at the our band of the year award party. Where we’ll show everyone the difference between you and us. Where we are the top. And you are the flop.

Catapultz exit

Sam: Why don’t we start our own band?

Ryan: What you’re having a laugh aren’t you?

Dan: No I think Sam’s onto something here. Let’s do it!

Ryan: Do what?

Dan: Form our own band. We’ll start out with pub gigs, rise up the circuit, maybe do some festivals, get an album out. And then when we’re big and famous. We can one up those guys, and show them who’s bros!

Sam: You mean ‘boss’

Dan: Right. Boss!

Song: When Will I Be Famous – Dan, Ryan and Sam

During this number the guys are generally messing about with various bog standard mundane items and some of of their tech gear. The idea is they are looking rather normal and acting playful but bored of their ‘normal lives’. Playing around with a brush while sweeping the floor etc.

All exit in beat to the music, whistling.

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Boyband Battle

Scene 2

The scene changes during the next song as we set up a pub a few tables and chairs and Jason and Dan meet, shake on it, and head over to a table with a couple of bottles of beer. Once the first chorus is done, we go into dialogue.

Song: Take On Me – Dan and Jason (with ensemble)

Dialogue

Dan: Heya check this out (gives Jason his phone, Jason looks at it)

Jason: What’s this? Boyband auditions tomorrow? You’re not going for that are you?

Dan: Why not? It’ll be a laugh.

Jason: Yeah a laugh at your expense.

Dan: Look you know I’ve been to your shows in here many a times, you’re good, you can do better than the pub circuit.

Jason: Look, I know these kind of auditions, they’ll have you queing for hours, they’ll wave some silly camera around, get a bunch of “crowd shots” to make it look really popular, filming of some dorky presenter messing up his lines, then wait for ages while they set up the rooms they could have done at the start. Then wait even longer, then get like 30 seconds of singing only for them to give you a no with no feedback and you’re on your way back on a train having wasted the last 12 hours.

Dan: Come on, its only a few days until that Catapultz band have their celebration party for winning that stupid award. We gotta go in there and have something to show for it?

Jason: You mean they actually invited you guys?

Dan: Oh get real. Only to try to show us up. You only get one life Jason. Time to take a risk, what you just gonna hang around here for the rest of your life not knowing what you’re doing? You gotta get out there man.

Jason: Ok I’ll think about it.

Dan: I’ll take that as a yes.

Jason: But

Dan: Great, I’ll meet you at 11 tomorrow!

Song continues

All exit

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Boyband Battle

Scene transition, this happens to the music of “Everybody Get Up”

Sam walks by only to pass Mike, Zack and Gary. He tries to go the other way or ignore them in the hope they don’t see him. However they spot him, run after him, grab him and tip into a trash can. They exit laughing. Sam then picks himself up, scrapes himself off and exits with no complaint.

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Scene 3

Cataplutz are rehearsing in their studio, behind Amy who is trying to choreograph this number.

Song: Everybody Get Up - Catapultz

Christine, Kayla, Georgie and Michelle enter and start dancing along, which is distracting the boys

Georgie: Ya got ta keep it reaaal!

Song stops as Georgie was ‘overdancing’

Michelle: Uh, Georgie, what the heck are you doing?

Zack: You keep going girl.

Christine: Hey stop embarrassing me!

Scott: Hey beautiful. (kisses Christine)

Christine: Afternoon handsome!

Amy: Excuse me do you mind? We’re in the middle of rehearsing!

Zack: Oh go take a hike twinkle toes.

Amy: Really? Oh this is ridiculous. You can find yourselves another choreographer with that attitude.

Amy storms out in a huff

Zack: Didn’t need her anyway!

Scott: And how’s my lovely sister? Glad you made friends with them. They’re treating you alright I hope?

Kayla: I’m alright.

Mike: Hey Kayla! How is it looking at our glamorous life?

Kayla: Ok I guess.

Zack: Hey, Scott, get a room

Scott: Alright boys, clear it.

Zack: Oh man was just kidding!

Scott: Skedaddle (gestures for the other boys to leave)

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All the boys except Scott exit

Scott: What was that about Kayla, thought you were getting on with Mike?

Kayla: Yeah well getting along isn’t enough. Not even close.

Scott: You could do a lot worse

Kayla: He’s a bit of a jerk sometimes

Scott: Ain’t we all. Ain’t that right Christine

Christine: Yeah ain’t you the biggest jerk of all

Georgie: Ha big jerk, get it, get it? Hahaha (laughs until she realises no one else is laughing with her)

Kayla: Stop, or I might throw up

Scott: So you’re still coming to the party with me tonight?

Christine: You betcha.

Scott: See you later princess (kisses her and the boys exit)

Georgie: Oooohhh Christine, so when’s the big day?

Christine: Whoah there. We’re not even engaged or anything.

Michelle: But you’ve been with Scott forever

Christine: Oh I don’t know why don’t we ask his sister?

Kayla: Don’t look at me I don’t know anything.

Christine: Guess he’s just trying to appear to be ‘available’ for the fans

Michelle: Lameo!

Christine: But I wouldn’t trade him for anything. It’s still just like when we first met:

Song: I’m Glad You Came – Christine, Michelle and Georgie

Blackout

Scene Transition, Sam is crossing the stage and Gary and Mike are there again. This time Sam tries to exit the same way he came off but they chase him again. Just as they get him, Dan shows up. They are about to ‘scuffle’ then Kayla shows up and crosses. She does not look at them but Mike gets distracted and goes after Kayla, leaving Gary on his own. Gary looking to see he’s outnumbered, ‘hot foots’ it off.

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Scene 4

Scene lights up on Richard who is on his mobile

Richard: Hello………………….Yeah I know…………………. I know, and I would, but the thing is I can’t right now……………………..Oh come on you know this business.. Our outcome can only be based on our income……………Well there has to be some……………………….You can go on all you like but that won’t magically produce the money……………… Lookey here. If you want to get money simply by talking nonsense, you should have picked a different career. Maybe a politician…………………. Yep I expect to hear from you again. I’m going now, got an appointment. (puts phone down).

Ok next!

Sam and Dan enter

Richard: Ok you two here for auditions?

Dan: Yes

Sam: What already? We’ve only just got here, I thought there’d be a big queue outside.

Richard: I’m only looking for the best. You both think you got what it takes?

Dan: Yeah look. Could you wait a moment? A mate is supposed to be here but he hasn’t shown up yet…..

Ryan enters

Ryan: Way haaaaaay!! How you doing boys, great? What you doing here so early? I always told you, it’s always fashionable to arrive late, that way you’re keeping em keen right

Richard: Ahem. Being fashionably late, might impress a bunch of girls at your school prom, but it won’t impress me. As such you can audition last. Can I get your names?

All three answer at once

Richard: Hey hey hey. All I heard was walloballowhfuiewhuiawffhaiweufh. One at a time please.

Dan: Dan

Sam: Sam

Ryan: Ryan, but you can call me R-U.

Richard: Why?

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Ryan: Ryan Ugo

Richard: That’s a crap last name. We’ll have to change that.

Ryan: Oh come on. R-U works . Like how R-U. Like JB. AJ, DJ?

Richard: How about N-O

Ryan: N-O?

Richard: Spells no. Need a lesson in English?

Ryan: N-O, Noooooooooooooooooooooooo

Richard: Ok maybe you do. So what’s your performing experience so far?

Sam: Well we worked with Catapultz

Richard: Ah great, so you’ve already worked with a Boyband. That helps a lot. What were you doing? Were you backing dancers, backing vocalists, publicity?

Dan: We’re the stage crew and technical support.

Richard: So……you were just ‘techies’?

Ryan: Say that again?

Richard: (starts uncontrollably laughing) You guys seriously think you can become a hotshot boyband, and all you’ve done is fix microphones and stuff! I’ve never heard anything so preposterous in my life.

Dan: Hey excuse me. We don’t have to take this. The very reason we showed up here today is because we were getting called this sort of stuff by those jerks in Catapultz, and that’s why we want to prove to them that we can do anything they can do. The last thing we wanna hear right now is the same crap that they gave us from the very person we were looking to

Richard Alright keep you hair on. Lets see what you got then.

All three start singing at the same time a totally different song in a different key and it’s a mess. After a few seconds he gestures them to stop.

Richard: (sings) Gobbledeygook. Again. One at a time.

Ryan: Ain’t nobody leading me around.

Richard: I’m not asking you. And F.Y.I . “R U”. You will be being “leaded around”, by one person. Me. Comprende? Sorry s’cuse me. “R-U” understanding me?

Ryan is unimpressed by this attempted joke but nods reluctantly.

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Richard: As I was saying before I was so “R-U” dely interrupted. (Ryan rolls his eyes at this remark).

Richard: Right. “R-U” ready to audition.

Ryan: Fine

Optional section

Nick enters.

Richard: Ok things looking up. Name?

Nick: Oh yes, I’m Nick darling, pleasure to meet you.

Richard: Goodness. You enjoy “camping”?

Nick: Oh no. Camping’s just gross. I like a good hotel me.

Richard: Good to know. Look maybe let’s not play the stereotype. You perform before?

Nick: Every night babe!

Richard: Don’t call me babe. Let’s see what you can do.

Music starts (drum solo), and Nick does a large freestyle dance routine that builds and is really good, he finishes on the splits (if the actor can do it but if not then a flamboyant finishing pose)!

Richard: Is that all?

Nick: What you mean dear?

Richard: I mean do you sing?

Nick (pause). …… Not really no.

Richard: Suppose I could manage with a dancer.

Richard: Still looking for a lead vocalist. (To Dan) You’re too average, (to Sam) You’re too unconfident (to Ryan) You’re “R-U” and You (to Nick) “Not really no”.

Jason enters.

Dan: Where the hell have you been?

Jason: Sorry I’m late. Got caught up.

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Richard: You’re just in time. Sort yourself out and we’ll do an audition.

Ryan: Hey that’s unfair. I’m not as late as he is and I get a b’llking. He arrives late and everything’s peachy?

Richard: At least he apologised. And he doesn’t have a ridiculous name. Right boys. Time to see if you can harmonize. Take it away. And a one, and a two and……

Song: Everybody In Love – Jason, Dan, Sam, Ryan (and Nick if included)

Song ends. Amy enters

Richard: Ok so next I’d like to introduce you to our choreographer! Amy Sutton

Song: Let’s Dance – Amy and the boys

Amy: Alright lads lets get to work. Come one. Step 2 3 4, back 2 3 4 do the spin and there you go. Now you try

Sam: I haven’t got it yet

Amy: Just give it a shot.

Boys try and fail miserably.

Amy: Okaaaaaay.

Dan: How are we?

Amy: Want the truth?

Jason: Probably not, can we try again?

(song)

Amy: Now you guys try.

Boys do slightly better this time around. If Nick is in the production, he does really well and the others can’t keep up with him.

Amy: Ok better, you still have a ways to go

Ryan: What you talking about? We’re killing it lady!

Amy: Yeah, you’re the one who’s killing it. And that’s not a compliment. Try again.

(The boys dance to this and finally nail it)

Richard: So we have our band! Great, rehearsals start tomorrow here at 8:00

Version 8

Boyband Battle

Ryan: What already?

Richard: Oh yeah, see we gotta get in there quick. Look at the times, the boyband craze is dying out now. Everyone wants another Adele and Ed Sheeran types, the craze is for soloists. Take my advice, you need to make as much success as you can until the flame burns out.

Exits. Then abruptly re-enters

Richard: Oh by the way, thought I’d mention now. If this pulls off, you will all hate each other within a year or two, so if you’re gonna be friends, cherish it now. Thank you (exits)

Ryan: In a year? I hate this guy already (addressing Nick)

Nick: Feeling’s mutual my dear

Blackout

Version 8