Churches That Abuse
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FRONT FLAP CHURCHES THAT ABUSE When does a church cross the line between conventional church status and fringe status? What is the nature of the process by which any given group devolves into a fringe church or movement? What are some of the signs or indicators that a given group is becoming abusive of its members and is headed for the margins? When should a member consider bailing out? Churches That Abuse answers these and other important questions about abusive churches. This important new book warns and informs readers about the “fringe” churches and groups that operate in this country—organizations and churches that are not necessarily characterized by doctrinal deviation but have particular traits that make them behavioral and sociological outsiders. It also helps readers identify and beware of abusive tendencies in more “normal” Christian churches. Ronald Enroth identifies what is meant by “abusive churches.” Then, he describes abusive churches, using the ten identifying traits of control-oriented leadership, spiritual elitism, manipulation of members, perceived persecution, lifestyle rigidity, emphasis on experience, suppression of dissent, harsh discipline of members, denunciation of other churches, and the painful exit process. Finally he shows readers how to discern fringe churches and offers several “red flags” that can be discerned when convention churches drift toward the fringe. Churches That Abuse tells who the abusers are, how their techniques operate, and what the consequences are for marriages, small children, and teenagers. Where most books stop after reporting problem areas, this one continues and offers suggestions for those helping victims of abuse. And it can be read beneficially by those who are involved in abusive churches and have no one to turn to. BACK FLAP “It takes someone of Dr. Enroth’s stature and scholarship, as one of the most respected and recognized experts on American religious movements, to take the reader through the experiences of individuals, couples, and families from their first meetings with the various churches that will abuse them spiritually, psychologically, and financially and to let the reader see the inner state such abuse produces. This is the most sophisticated, in-depth presentation yet made of the psychological and spiritual consequences of what various pastoral and church-group abuse produce. Not only of value to the religious community, it will be of great use to psychiatrists, psychologists, social workers, physicians, and academicians. This is a book for those helping and those needing help. Timely, authoritative, and valuable. Gripping reading!” - Margaret Thaler Singer, clinical psychologist and emeritus professor, University of California, Berkeley Ronald M. Enroth is a leading scholar and national resource on cults and cultism whose special perspectives are heartily welcomed by both the secular and the religious society. He is professor of sociology at Westmost College and the author of many books on cults and the new religions including The Lure of the Cults and New Religions and Evangelizing the Cults. CHURCHES THAT ABUSE RONALD M. ENROTH Zondervan Publishing House Academic and Professional Books Grand Rapids, Michigan A Division of Harper Collins Publishers Churches That Abuse Copyright © 1992 by Ronald M. Enroth Requests for information should be addressed to: Zondervan Publishing House Academic and Professional Books Grand Rapids, Michigan 49530 Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Enroth, Ronald M. Churches that abuse / Ronald Enroth. p. cm. Includes bibliographical references and index. ISBN 0-310-53290-6 1. Control (Psychology)-Religious aspects-Christianity-Case studies. 2. Authoritarianism- Case studies. I. Title. BV4597.53.C62E57 1992 262'.8-dc20 91-36097 CIP All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise noted, are taken from the HOLY BIBLE: NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION (North American Edition). Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, by the International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan Bible Publishers. All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means-electronic, mechanical, photocopy, recording, or any otherexcept for brief quotations in printed reviews, without the prior permission of the publisher. International Trade Paper Edition ISBN 0-310-53299-X Edited by Leonard G. Goss Cover designed by The Aslan Group Printed in the United States of America 92 93 94 95 96 97 / D H / 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1 This edition is printed on acid-free paper and meets the American National Standards Institute Z39.48 standard. To Ruth-Anne wife, mother, friend Contents Preface.............................................................................................7 Acknowledgments...........................................................................8 1. INTRODUCTION...........................................................................9 Abusive Churches: A View From Within 2. FRINGE AND FANATICISM .....................................................19 Abusive Churches Can Go Over the Edge 3. PAST AND PRESENT .................................................................28 Abusive Churches Are Not New 4. AUTHORITY AND POWER.......................................................39 Abusive Churches Misuse Spiritual Authority 5. MANIPULATION AND CONTROL...........................................48 Abusive Churches Use Fear, Guilt, and Threats 6. ELITISM AND PERSECUTION .................................................57 Abusive Churches See Themselves as Special 7. LIFE-STYLE AND EXPERIENCE..............................................65 Abusive Churches Foster Rigidity 8. DISSENT AND DISCIPLINE......................................................76 Abusive Churches Discourage Questions 9. EXIT AND ADJUSTMENT.........................................................87 Abusive Churches Make Leaving Painful 10. DISCERNMENT AND RESPONSE............................................97 Abusive Churches Present a Warning 11. CHALLENGE AND CHANGE..................................................108 Abusive Churches Will Always Exist Notes ..........................................................................................119 Page 6 of 121 Preface This has been a difficult book to write because it is a book that is critical of other Christians. One always runs the risk of being misunderstood and labeled "judgmental" or arrogant when you make evaluative statements regarding Christian believers and organizations outside your own immediate circle. The book is about churches and other Christian organizations that inflict psychological and spiritual abuse upon members through the use of fear, guilt, and intimidation. However, when we refuse to pass judgment on any religious phenomenon for fear that such judgments might violate the norm of tolerance so prevalent in our culture, we abdicate our responsibility to the body of Christ to sound a warning where a warning is justified. Some boats need to be rocked, even Christian boats. The years of research that have gone into this book have validated for me the truth of a placard I display in my office: "Those who make it hardest to be a Christian in this world are the other Christians." I can safely predict that not one of the groups discussed in these pages will agree that they deserve such mention. They will protest that they have been unfairly portrayed, that I have listened to "a few disgruntled former members" whose words should not be trusted, and who are not representative of the membership. Let me assure the reader that the information I convey in this book is based not on my own fanciful imagination, but on the actual experiences of real people whose accounts can be independently verified and who, to the best of my knowledge, have been truthful about their encounters with churches that abuse. Despite the defensive protestations of authoritarian leaders that ex-members of their churches lie, distort the facts, and are "accusers of the brethren," there is abundant evidence that a serious problem of abuse exists in the Christian community. Researching and writing Churches That Abuse was often a depressing experience because in recounting their days in abusive environments, the survivors I talked with had to relive the pain and confusion, and, yes, the anger. Sometimes they were embarrassed to admit that they had allowed these things to happen to them. They felt the absence of understanding people willing to help them "pick up the pieces." It is my hope that this book will provide a context for understanding. If we have basic information about a subject, we can sometimes take preventative action. Regrettably, it is not always possible to "get through" to people already caught up in abusive churches. They do not see themselves as being manipulated, or in any danger of spiritual abuse. Hence, the frustration of parents, relatives, and friends who try to reach or "rescue" them. There are no easy solutions to this problem. In the final analysis, the book presents a hopeful outlook. Not only can individuals leave abusive churches and achieve recovery and restoration, but there are encouraging signs that some groups are themselves recognizing the need for change and are moving away from the fringe toward the center. May their numbers increase. Ronald Enroth Santa Barbara, California July 1991 Page 7 of 121 Acknowledgments It is customary for authors to say that without the help of many people their books could not