Random Character Advancement for Old School Dungeony Dragony Pcso

Random Character Advancement For Old School Dungeony Dragony PCso

by Zak S., Reynaldo Madriñan, Jeff Rients, Chris Wilson, Nick Kuntz, Matt Halbauer, and lots of other cool people

Warrior (fighter) (Zak) Bard (Jeff)

Wizard/Witch (M-U) (Zak) Paladin (Reynaldo)

Crowdsourced Witch Variant (curated by Zak) Anti-Paladin (Reynaldo)

Thief (Zak) Lizardfolk (Chris)

Barbarian (Zak) Half-Orc (Jeff)

Ranger (Zak) Half-Elf (Jeff)

Elf (Jeff) Gnome (Jeff)

Dwarf (Jeff) Red Dragon Fighting Society (Jeff)

Halfling (Jeff) Gnome Wrestler (Nick & Matt)

Cleric (Jeff) Pandimensional Vagabond (Jeff)

Insano-Libs Cleric (Jeff) Everyone Else (Jeff) 2

WARRIOR (Fighter Variant)

...you start with your normal 0 level hit points and saves. Write those down.

At first level, and each time you level up, you get your hit points as usual, but instead of the attack bonus and saves improving on a schedule, you roll twice on this table. Do what it says--there are also indicators of what to do if you re-roll that same result over again in places where that's hard to figure out...

1-30 +1 to hit. Trust me, you'll be glad you have it.

31-50 +1 to all your saves Aren't you mr special goose? Or ms special goose

51-55 In battle there is no law, but you're kinda in charge. Once per fight you can give any other PC an extra non-attack (that is: not a traditional "roll to hit, roll for damage" type weapon attack), non-spellcasting action. Re-rolling this lets you do it one more time per fight.

56-57 When you hit things they tend to stay hit: +1 damage. If you roll this again it jumps to +3, then +5, +7 etc

58-59 You have learned where not to stand. +2 to jumping out of the way (reflex save, breath weapon save whatever it's called in your system). +1 thereafter if you re-roll this.

60-61 You smoke less and have been getting some exercise. +2 vs toxins, poisons and whatever other saves might be considered derivable from your general good health in the system you're using.

62-63 You've gotten real good at shoving. On a melee hit you can do your usual damage plus knock a human-sized opponent back ten feet. If you try it twice on the same opponent they get a save or str check or something against you. If you roll this result again you get 2 free shoves before the saves kick in. After that, re-roll.

64-65 You're good at getting people out of your way. On a melee hit you can do your usual damage plus knock a human-sized opponent prone. If you try it twice on the same opponent they get a save or str check or something against you. If you roll this result again on this table, you get 2 free knockdowns before the saves kick in, then 4, etc. After that, re-roll.

66-67 You're good at aiming for the fingers. On a hit you can do your ordinary damage plus disarm an opponent if they fail a simple str check. If you reroll this result they get a penalty to their check, +1, then +2 etc.

68-69 You're grabby as fuck. On a melee hit on a human-sized or smaller opponent you can do your ordinary damage plus your opponent is grabbed if they fail a strength check. Note grabbing is not always what it's cracked up to be since now you're vulnerable to attack from elsewhere, but enjoy it while it lasts. If you reroll this result they get a penalty to their check, +1, then +2 etc.

70-71 You've been getting out and meeting new people. You are now +2 to hit from horseback or +2 to hit in unarmed combat or +2 to hit with a bow or crossbow. Your choice. If you eventually roll all of those and keep re-rolling this result, you start getting +2s to weird fighting situations you can make up, like fighting blind or on fire or whatever GM approval blah blah blah 3

72-73 Finally! A second attack per round. You divide your attack bonus however you like between opponents/strikes. You get an extra attack per round every time you re-roll this result.

74-75 Christ you're big. +2 to checks to intimidate people. +2 when your re-roll this thereafter, you're getting like Wolverine scary.

76-77 You shall be splintered! Basically you can use the Shields Shall Be Splintered rule on a limb of your choice: A single hit that normally would have killed you just maimed you instead. You lose an arm below the elbow or leg below the knee, your choice. If you re-roll this you can "bank" another one or, if you've already lost a limb, the next time you get magically healed it comes back.

78 AHA!!! You've heard a rumor in a tavern--that thing you wanted? The riding panther? The Axe of Ninety Nymphs? That king totally willing you lend you his army? The parasitic extra limb that grants you immortality? That romantic subplot? It's there. 4 sessions worth of adventure away or less. Tell your GM, who then must place it.

You must have a fair shot at it--like any other treasure, but there's no guarantee you will get it. If you don't get it by the fourth session you can keep trying or let it go and roll again on this table. However if you choose to roll again and then you do get the thing somehow anyway, you lose whatever gimmick you rolled. GM think up some clever reason why.

79 Your smashingness inspires awe in lesser beings. You have an exceptionally (though not supernaturally) intelligent and loyal henchman, hound or horse (your choice). This individual cannot be slain, kidnapped or otherwise traduced "offscreen" by the GM, so if he or she's in trouble and your PC is not around you get to play it out. Of you re-roll this and your previous one is not dead, you get to add another hit die to your pal.

80-81 You're totally a skullsplitter. Your crit range extends by one. Now you double damage on a 19 or 20. Keep rolling this and it keeps extending.

82-83 You get those sunken eyes like Bronn in Game of Thrones. Immune to fear. If you re-roll this, your companions gain a +2 vs fear if they can see you, then +4 etc

84-86 Hold fools! I hear something.... Which of the following environments has your PC spent the most time fighting in: city, dungeon, wilderness, desert, or sea? Whichever it is, you can now anticipate wandering monsters a round ahead of time in that environment and are immune to nonmagic surprise there. If you re-roll this again you can pick a second environment or get an extra round of anticipation.

87-88 You have learned to aim jusssst above the eyes. When fighting an opponent with adjacent eyes you can do your normal damage plus partially blind it by getting blood in its eyes. It'll take the opponent an action to wipe the blood away and this trick only works once on any given opponent. If you re-roll this it takes two actions to wipe away, if you re-roll it again you can totally de-eye an opponent on a successful hit, if you re-roll it a fourth time then just re-roll until you get a different result. 4

89-90 You've been like hunting and stuff with your Ranger friends. You can now knock prone or shove anything that is animal intelligence up to the size of a bear in addition to also doing usual damage on a successful melee hit. Subsequently re-rolling this result gives you a +2 to damage vs animal-intelligence foes.

91-92 You have learned the Impetuous Immortal Leaping Strike. You leap six feet in the air and for a mere -2 to hit you can do double damage if you connect. You can't pull it twice on the same foe (even if you miss) and it's kinda exhausting and puts you in a bad position, defensively--you cannot attack in the round afterwards. If you re-roll this, the damage goes up by 2 points each time.

93 Hey whoa, been going to the gym, huh? +1str up to racial max. Numbers in excess go to con or dex.

94 Hey whoa, been doing like laps in pools of the tears of the families of your fallen foes? +1 con up to racial max. Numbers in excess go to str or dex.

95 You have an annoying drinking buddy who thinks throwing like wadded up paper at you is fun. +1 dex up to racial max. Numbers in excess go to str or con.

96-97 You have become unbelievably metal. You do triple damage on a crit. Re-roll this: you do quadruple, etc.

98-99 You're like a decapitator. If you roll a natural 20 against something with a head in melee and its level/HD is equal to or less than yours, it does not have a head anymore. Re-rolling this means you can do it against things your level or one higher, then 2 higher, etc.

00 Ab..ra...kaaaa..what? Holy hell, someone managed to teach you a spell. The formula is bouncing around in your brain dying to be unleashed. It's any spell you want, up to 8th level, and it will work as if cast by a 15th level Wizard. It will work once, period. Ever. You have to be able to speak in order for it to work but no other restrictions apply.

The Warrior must not become dazzled by the embarrassment of combatly options. You get 10 seconds to pick what you're doing once it's your turn, got it?

In addition, the Warrior gets one other gimmick.

Warriors count foes slain (Michael Moscrip's idea, but spontaneously invented by fighter players everywhere since D&D began)--race and number.

For each combatant of a species (human, goblin, dragon, etc.) slain in-game (Warrior delivers the killing blow) the Warrior makes a notch. Once per encounter with that species (any time during the encounter), the Warrior's player may assess the creature. You assess by rolling percentile dice-- 5

-if the first d10 is under the number slain, the AC, current hit points, and attack bonus of the creature are known, -if the 2 d10s, taken as a 2-digit number, are lower than the total slain, the Warrior knows what the creature will do in the next round of combat (action and target, if any).

Swarms don't count, max is 90, slain after that just goes to bragging rights at your FLGS.

GMs are free to determine what constitutes a "species", fighters are free to bore everyone by killing endless orcs in their little orc sentry pits for no reason just to notch up, and the other players are free to have a little talk with them if they abuse these rights and perhaps should view them doing so as a nice little red flag.

WIZARD/WITCH (Magic-User Variant)

...you start with your normal hit points and saves etc. Write those down. Do everything pretty much the way you would in your system.

However, when you level up: For each new spell slot you get, roll on this table instead of just filling the slot…

1-68 Fill a slot with a spell as usual. Borrring.

69 I sense a great disturbance etc etc You have a form of postcognition that allows you to detect the presence of cast spells, eldritch creatures and the like (not omnipresent magic or currently magical things going on like Detect Magic could) in a given 30x30 foot area within the last day. You will know whether it was a spell or creature or effect or what. Re-rolling this allows you to know the nature of it broadly (enchantment, demon, etc). Re-rolling this a third time tells you exactly what it is. Re-rolling it a fourth time allows you to function as a walking "Detect Magic" spell. After that re-roll.

70 Further advancement will require you to placate obscure gods. You have to adopt a taboo a la the Wu Jen like: ● Cannot eat meat. ● Cannot have more treasure than the character can carry. ● Must make a daily offering (food, flowers, incense) to one or more spirit powers. ● Cannot bathe. ● Cannot cut hair. ● Cannot touch a dead body. ● Cannot drink alcoholic beverages. ● Cannot wear a specified color of cloth. ● Cannot light a fire. ● Cannot sit facing a specified compass direction.

Each time you re-roll this you need to take up another one. 6

71 Wizard Lie. You can tell one lie per day (one sentence long) and be automatically believed by anyone at least half your level (round up). Re-rolling this means you can tell two lies, then three, etc.

72 After long eons of patient and lonely research you've found it--that thing you wanted? The Star Swallower? The dragon egg? The mountain fortress? It's there. 4 sessions worth of adventure away or less. Tell your GM, who then must place it.

73 Cruel curse. This is basically a spell usable once per day. Range: 100'. Area of effect: 1 creature per level. Duration: 1 day/level Save negates.

To trigger the curse, the caster must observe the target (any creature with fewer hit dice than the caster) perform the same action for at least two consecutive rounds. The caster may then invoke one of two effects: a) The target creature must continuously do one thing chosen by the caster that it was doing in the last two turns,

or… b) the target can never do some chosen thing it was doing in the last two turns.

The repeated/forbidden action cannot be anything the creature normally always does (breathe, touch the ground, etc). The effect of the curse can be something that will probably kill the creature in its current circumstance but it cannot be something that would inevitably kill it regardless of circumstance. For example: the curse could not compel a creature to stop breathing but it could compel a creature to continue walking in a straight line even if that line (in the particular situation) would lead it off a cliff.

No two Cruel Curses may be identical (which is why curses tend to be weirdly specific).

74 Your powers inspire awe in lesser beings. You have an exceptionally (though not supernaturally) intelligent and loyal henchman, hound or horse (your choice). This individual cannot be slain, kidnapped or otherwise traduced "offscreen" by the GM, so if he or she's in trouble and your PC is not around you get to play it out. Of you re-roll this and your previous one is not dead, you get to add another hit die to your pal. 7

75 BAH! You have glimpsed primal vistas both horrific and majestic in your meditations. The mundane world does not concern you. Immune to fear. If you re-roll this, your companions gain a +2 vs fear if they can see you, then +4 etc

76 You now have a familiar. It has one hit die. If you already had one, it has 2 hit dice.

Roll:

1. Cat 2. Crow 3. Weasel/Marmot 4. Toad 5. Pick one 6. Make one up that's approximately as powerful as one of the creatures listed

It obeys commands, you can see through its eyes and use its special sensory abilities, attacks on it affect you, too, blah blah blah

77 I think I know the counterspell for this… By making a successful saving throw you may turn any spell cast on anyone in line of sight back on the original caster. It's an immediate-interrupt of course but that counts as your action for that turn or the next turn. You can do this once per day. Each time you re-roll this result you get +1 to the save.

78 The dweomers are beginning to fear you. +2 to save vs spell. +1 more every time you roll this.

79 The constant influence of interdimensional radiation has twisted your body. Gain a random deformity. Describe it. -2 to charisma checks where you're trying to make someone like you, +2 to ones where you're trying to intimidate them or freak them out. +2/-2 more each time you re-roll this.

80 The wyrdness has definitively infected you. You have a mutation that goes beyond mere deformity: an eye that floats an inch outside of its socket, a head with no neck supporting it, a third arm, etc. You can roll a random mutation if you like or pick something. You know those freaky wizards with like 3 extra faces that Thundarr The Barbarian fights? They rolled this a bunch of times.

81 This glove is made of sleep. Take a spell you already possess and bind it into an object. You may now use the spell twice per day and it functions as if you were a level higher. However: the spell is now bound to that object, not you. Whoever has the object can use it. Nonwizards and lower-level wizards use it as if it were cast by a wizard one level lower than you.

82 You always were reading ahead of the rest of the class. Receive a random spell one level higher than you are able to cast. Remember: random.

83 In case of fire cast lightning… One of your existing spells (pick one) is also attached to a form of the Contingency spell. A second "copy" of the spell is set to activate as soon as a trigger event of the caster's choice occurs. The caster may only cast and set a new contingency once a week. In essence, contingency means that rather than having 7 copies of a spell per week at will, the caster now has 8, but the 8th one is only activated by the specific condition. Re-rolling this result allows for another contingency to be set with a different spell.

84 Poorly memorized spell. The caster may select any spell of a level s/he is not normally allowed to cast, only it has a 50% chance of backfiring. Re-rolling this result improves the caster's odds by 1%. 8

85 Take what you can get in a world of Vancian scarcity… Receive 2 random spells of whatever the highest level you are able to cast is.

86 I know this foul pottery… Roll under int +1 on a d20 to identify obscure pieces of lore and magic items. Add +1 for each time you re-roll this until you get to 19.

87 You been practicing talking slowly and lighting candles. You get one 8th level spell of your choice as a ritual. (9th level if you are able to cast 8th level spells) This means either (your choice):

-it takes 24 minus your Int score hours to cast it and you have to stay in the same place (30x30 square) doing nothing else the whole time, or…

-you have to do some dumb elaborate ritual thing that takes only an hour as described by the GM for this effect

Either way the target/are of effect must be right there unless you have a separate scrying spell or suchlike and the spell must be used immediately. You may cast your ritual spell once per month. Rolling this again gets you another one.

88 All this watching people fight has actually sunk in. +1 to hit every time you roll this.

89 You are learning the languages of inanimate objects. You may ask and receive an honest answer from one once per day--plus one more every time you re-roll this.

90 The laws of the unseen world are ever more clear to you. You may write a magical contract. Anyone freely agreeing to such contract and signing it will take d6 damage per your level if they break it. The damage goes up by one die every time you re-roll this.

91 Look out world: You bought chalk! You may summon a demon or similar extradimensional creature with one less hit die/level than you have once a month. It will serve for 6 days plus one more for each time you re-roll this result. If you have a familiar, it will possess your familiar and serve through that. If you do not have a familiar but do have any henchindividuals, then it will possess them and serve through them.

When the time is up, the creature gets to stay on the material plane and do what it wants. So….good luck with that.

Re-rolling this result means you can summon a creature with HD equal to your level, then one more, then one more etc etc

92 The souls of common folk are easily read. On a successful wisdom check you can read both the aspect and aura of anyone at least 2 hit dice/levels lower than you. You know if they're lying, if they are under magical influence, and if they are what they seem. Re-rolling this adds one to the check.

93 You crackle with misappropriated energies. On a successful save against magic you not only successfully resist a spell, you may release it any time in the next 8 hours--effectively casting that spell as if it were your own. You may not cast any other spells until you release the stored spell. This only works on spells that affect only you or an area only you and/or your familiar occupy (like if Rock to Mud was cast and you were the only one in the room, you could absorb that). If you re-roll this result, you may use it on spells targeting you and one other person, if you re-roll it again then it goes for you and 2 other targets, etc etc.

94 Stuff that shouldn't come off does. You have one removable limb or organ (pick: hand, eye, heart, etc). It functions as normal when separated from you and you receive any sensory information it picks up. It can travel a maximum of 100' from you before you are in trouble. Each time you roll this, pick another.

95 The sorcerer has a second shape... You can turn into one other thing at will because hey, wizards sometimes are like that. It can be another humanoid shape, like just some random otherwise-looking person or it can be an ordinary animal somewhere between your size and cat size. You have to decide what the thing is: its stats are exactly the same 9

as yours and it has no special movement or sensory powers. I mean, if it's smaller than you it can move through smaller doors but otherwise whatever. Each time you re-roll this you get one other shape you can assume.

96 Your studies have unleashed a wild dweomer into your mind. Basically this means you have one spell (of whatever level you were rolling this result to replace) which is totally random each morning. Roll to see what it is. Re-rolling this result means you get another one plus one extra random spell each morning. And if you re-roll it again you get another plus two extra, etc. So the first time you do it you're like "Mannn, I shoulda just played a regular wizard" but after that you start racking up bonus random spells, which is nice, right?

97 Vile indeed is this corrupted earth…so you hover an inch above the ground at all times because magic. If the ground falls out from under you you still fall, you just land an inch above where you normally would. -d6 to all falling damage. -d6 more each time you re-roll this result.

98 What the hell is he doing over there…? Your unnatural metabolism no longer handles what humans call "food". You eat something else--pick--it must be something that might be present in a forest but not in a bare prison cell. Likewise, your blood, tears, sweat, saliva, etc no longer "taste" human and there is a 1 in 10 chance carnivores will ignore you. This chance goes up by one each time you reroll this result.

99 Zubzubzub ZAAAAAA Once you cast a spell you may hold it to increase its power. It can only be an attack or otherwise baleful spell (not healing or whatever, got it?). You may do nothing else but walk, chant magic words, and make wizardy spellcasting gestures while holding the spell and if you are interrupted the spell is lost. However, for each round the spell is held, either it works as if cast by a wizard one level higher or the save is at -1 (pick). You may do this once per day. Twice if you re-roll this result, three times if you re-roll it again, etc etc

00 Spooky wisdom. If you sleep, you will receive a minor prophecy in a dream. It will communicate some true or likely thing about the outcome of whatever's on your mind as you sleep.

D100 Witch Traits

If you're playing a witch or warlock, you can roll on this table instead of taking the usual level-up extra. Spells known, spell slots, saves, proficiency and combat advance as usual.

To make a witch/warlock out of an old system that doesn't have one, make a cleric, druid or magic-user and just give up one 1st-level spell each level for a witch trait.

I only wrote the first one--the rest was crowdsourced here . I erased 50- odd entries to pare it down to a clean 100, leaving out ones that seemed least likely to be useful in play. However, some of them were fun, so it you're in my Google+ circles, you might want to take a look.

I've made a few suggestions in parenthesis to make some more gameable. 10

1, By concentrating, you can cause any sleeping creature you have observed before to open its eyes and look around for 3 rounds, during which you can see through its eyes.

2, You may talk any domestic (Or ordinary--including wolves, bears, etc) animal into suicide (in a number of rounds=its hd).

3, You always spoil milk around you. You can't choose.

4, You can smell emotions. It's 70% accurate.

5, Your spit burns the holy. (d4 per holy class level?)

6, If you prepare a corpse, crows will come and tell you news.

7, Domestic animals hate you (can't think why).

8, healing spells still work on you but replace portions of your flesh with tattooed holy scriptures/tracts, which the cleric's god hopes you will read and thereby learn the error of your ways;

9, If you eat something, you can cause someone else to vomit it up. This could be used in odd ways e.g. sending an ally in prison a key. Or you could just make paladins disgorge huge quantities of blood and spiders etc. etc.

10, Your fingernails grow long and hard, and are excellently suited to digging in unconsecrated ground. (Claw attack.)

11, When you laugh (or cackle, really), your true nature is exposed through any disguise or illusion. The upside: this also causes Fear (act at -4 or run away) in living creatures that hear it and fail a saving throw. 11

12, You ate your twin. It gives you advice sometimes, in dark places.

13, If you bring a statue an acceptable gift it will tell you about something it has seen.

14, One of your hands is a chicken’s claw. If you let it scratch idly in the dirt it writes down the secrets of those close to you. But sometimes it writes down your secrets and you never know which secret belongs to who.

15, You know a secret demonic process to turn the fat of children into a skin cream, rubbed on furniture, it can bring the furniture to life (although the ambling desk or wardrobe is no smarter than a child).

16, By talking to anyone for about five minutes, you somehow come to know their deepest childhood fear.

17, Can cause miscarriages or deformed stillbirths by staring at people and blinking in certain patterns.

18, You can spontaneously cause really innocuous mishaps. If you pin them on someone else the mishaps suddenly become a much bigger deal.k

19, Teeth will not stay in your mouth for longer than a day; everyday you must implant teeth other than you already wore in your mouth. The teeth may tell you secrets or give you a bite attack.

20, They tried to execute you once, but somehow it didn't work. Roll 1d6 to determine the method of your almost- demise : 1 Burning 2 Drowning 3 Hanging 4 Pressing with stones 5 Beheading 6 Poking with brands You still bear the marks/scars of your execution. Depending on how you survived, this may be minor or may be e.g. you are literally carrying your own head around.

21, Trigger local epidemics of infectious disease by humming lullabies in the garden of someone who's offended you. At night of course.

22, Guilt makes people weak to your magic. If someone commits a crime or a sin, they have a saving throw penalty against you; if you can trick a good person into doing something awful, you can rewrite their destiny.

23, Your tongue splits like a snake's. You gain bonuses to telling lies and casting suggestion spells, but when you tell the truth people might not believe you.

24, If you make a man cry you can discover what he truly fears.

25, You become diabolically attractive - probably in a very lush, sensual way. Unfortunately, someone powerful becomes stalkerishly obsessed with you. You might be able to influence them, but then again they might try to have you judicially murdered for rejecting their advances.

26, Cats spy for you.

27, Your bodily fluids can bring shadows to life as your servants.

28, Insects will guard you while you sleep.

29, Birds will steal small items for you.

30, Demons cannot resist dancing with you. 12

31, Uncanny ability to quickly learn foreign languages, written or spoken, lip read, sign languages, codes.

32, Can mimic precisely infants crying or the sounds small animals make.

33, Cold skin, slow heartbeat - excellent at feigning death.

34, Occasionally sucking on boiled bones will turn you invisible.

35, Propensity to break into saccharine and uplifting musical numbers. Ability to present self as the real victim in all circumstances, regardless of actual state of affairs.

36, Your appetite becomes enormous and almost insatiable. Fortunately, you can now dislocate your jaw and distend your throat, which will help when you try to swallow that cow.

37, Can only step through a threshold when walking backwards.

38, You have a single, detachable eye.

39, You have two "sisters" - not necessarily female. Perhaps you were both reborn at the same initiation ritual. Whatever the reason, you know everything they are doing, feel a sympathetic twinge if they suffer pain, death or love, and can cast more powerful spells if you work together with them. Unfortunately, they are ghastly people, of a sort you would never otherwise want to know.

40, Extraordinary sense of smell.

41, Deeply narcissistic, will watch yourself speaking if a mirror or reflective surface is within sight rather than looking at whoever you are speaking to.

42, You can shape shift into an appropriate animal. In the absence of other cultural contexts, choose one of the following: hare, fox, deer, cat or owl.

43, Eyes in the back of your head. They work.

44, If you can get a sexual partner to submit to you, you can transform them into a useful animal under your control - a horse, for example, or a guard dog. They are aware, but in a kind of dreamlike state. They do not age. When they are killed, when you are killed or when they are touched by a holy symbol, they will revert to their original form.

45, Extra fingers, they smell like exotic spices and the fumes can intoxicate people who's faces you stroke.

46, Perhaps you could repel water, like magnetic repulsion. You could never touch water again (or drink it). It would roll away from you. Maybe you would be thirsty a lot. You would need to take sand baths. You could not pick up things in puddles or pools. Sailors might try to capture you, put you in a cage and use you to create a bubble or bathysphere for deep sea exploration.

47, While you sleep, your hands autonomously scratch writing onto your belly. The writing has a 40% chance to be blasphemy, 40% chance to be mere insults (against you), and 20% chance to be a warning about something you are likely to encounter tomorrow. When possible, combine these categories. 13

48, You can't cross running water, or enter sanctified grounds

49, Clerical turning works against you as if you were undead

50, You can only enter religious establishments or sacred ground with the intent to fornicate within.

51, If you incubate an egg over two weeks, it will hatch into an intelligent, mean-spirited rooster that will nevertheless be completely loyal to you as long as it in the same room as you. However, if you are ever dropped to 0 HP, the rooster will rush over to you, suck all of your blood out of your eyes (killing you) and turn into a 6' anthropoid cockatrice hybrid-thing with no allegiance except its own.

52, You are not beautiful. Yet. Every so often, you will become obsessed with a particular feature of some stranger. Perhaps they have an aquiline nose or a striking eyes. They may not be conventionally attractive at all. You will stalk them, incapacitate them, cut off that feature using a special knife, then cut off the corresponding piece of your own face and, with careful motions, stitch your new acquisition into place. (It will work--you'll appear to be them.) For some reason, the brief period of elated self-contemplation that follows deliquesces, inevitably, into dissatisfaction, envy and further crimes.

53, But if someone paints an eye on it, so that it stares back at you, your powers will not work on it until the eye is defaced. You know when you have entered the country of witches by the omnipresence of eyes.

54, You are linked to the last person who drank some amount of your saliva (or other bodily fluids). At will, you can cause the linked person to vomit leaves and dead crows, but this terminates the link.

55, You can transform harpy eggs into "disaster eggs". http://dndwithpornstars.blogspot.com/2011/01/dungeon- mistress-mandy.html?m=1&zx=2b5a5eb063d414e

56, There is a small creature living in your stomach. (Rat/octopus/unborn twin/beetle, rolled randomly). You must feed it a live mouse (or equivalent) every day or it will begin to gnaw on your liver, but in exchange, any poison you would normally suffer is delayed for 1d6 hours.

57, You radiate an aura of spiteful informational decay. That is: stories in books start to change to have unhappy endings; actors performances become clumsy or clownish in tragedies, inexplicably heartbreaking in comedies; messages in letters twist subtly to warp the intended meaning and sew division. Everything around you is in a perpetual state of Chinese whispers, with the worst possible outcomes.

58, Babies spontaneously cry around you. However, if you make a Charisma check, you can subtly influence the babies to speak whatever words you want (even if the baby hasn't learned to talk yet).

59, You are two people (physically, not just mentally, like a were-human human). They have the same stats/race/class but are opposite genders. They have separate names, and you switch between them whenever you sleep. They hate each other, and will often try to inconvenience/embarrass the other via traps or subtlety.

60, By stripping naked and killing a goat, you can pass through its body into another LIVING goat within 1 mile. You make a bloody exit from the second goat, killing it. 14

61, Whenever you and your companions are well and truly lost (i.e. you don't know where you are AND you don't know how to get back to safety/destination), you become hirsute, horned, and incapable of speech. You get +2 to hit and are incapable of getting un-lost, although your allies can lead you out.

62, Whatever you gift to a corpse cannot be found by others, but the corpse may not want to give it back to you, either.

63, You may suck sickness from the skin of an innocent, but you suffer the effects until you can spit it on a child.

64, Whenever you are enclosed in a coffin and buried at least 6' underground, you can speak with any corpses within 500'. Treat this as speak with dead except that the dead all speak to you at once, and are very talkative and frequently hostile. Requires a save to avoid some bad-but-not-lethal mishap.

65, Magpies gossip to you about the petty jealousies of local villagers. If you bring them new gossip, they might consent to stealing something for you.

66, If you stuff a live frog's mouth with hair and throw it into a fire, the owner is rendered mute as long as the frog burns.

67, You can induce seizures in holy people + clergy + paladins by kissing them. Lasts 1d6 rounds, but if you spend at least a minute making out with their twitching body, they will lie there enervated and frothing for another 1d6 hours.

68, If you smoke someone, you learn their secrets. This usually requires an enormous hookah, big enough to shove a living person inside, that would normally cost 1000g to construct.

69, If you fill your mouth with virgin tears, you can either spit out a few ounces of acid or a black arrow, as if fired from a bow (treat as a +1 arrow vs angels).

70, Any spell you cast is brought into this world by vomiting blood.

71, As long as you spend 1 night every week hanging from a gibbet by your neck, you cannot be strangled or suffocated. (Must be a legitimate gallows, where criminals have been hung.)

72, Whenever you are in a marshy or swampy area, toads will flock to you in reverence. They will lick your body, groom you with their clumsy hands, and eat any skin/hair parasites that you have. They will also vomit out gifts for you. These gifts are mostly gross, but there is a 10% chance that they give you a small piece of jewelry or something.

73, Venomous creatures that bite you are also poisoned in return, and suffer the effects of their own venom if they fail a save.

74, You have 6+1d6 molars at the start of the game. By throwing one of your molars in the fire, it will hatch into a 1 cm tall imp. The imp cannot fly and moves about a 1'/min, but if it crawls inside someone's ear, it can implant itself in the womb (or large intestine, if male). The imp-fetus grows quickly and painfully over 6+1d6 hours, hatching forth into a full grown 1d6 HD demon if it is not removed. Females survive the process, but menfolk must save or die, due to the more traumatic nature of the exit.

75, You cannot tell the truth to a child, but deep down they believe everything you say. 15

76, Hanging yourself from a tree puts you into a death-like sleep until someone cuts you down or the rope rots away.

77, Cats, royal fools, and children under 5 cannot see you. These last become extremely distressed when confronted with proof of your presence.

78, You have scary-starey Aleister Crowley eyes (http://www.energyenhancement.org/aleister11.jpg) possibly as a result of hours spent practicing your glaring in a mirror. You gain a slight (+/-1) bonus to seduction attempts and spells of charm, domination, fear or suggestion. You suffer a slight (+/-1) penalty to first impressions, attempts to placate or avoid scandal and anything connected with a lawsuit.

79, Eating a bird's eyes allows you to view everything it saw for the past 24 hours.

80, You can heal the most horrid internal wound if you can make the victim swallow some thread, needles and a razor blade.

81, You cannot enter a door if its threshold has a pentagram painted with salt or blood.

82, You must do 7 evil things each month or the devil will come to get you. Sacrileges, incitement to a deadly sin or murder count but stealing or fornicating with animals do not.

83, You can sleep only on a sack of rancid hay. Everything else feels really uncomfortable and drives you nuts.

84, Once a day, you must redirect the blame for something bad that happened on the day before to yourself. This can be anything, an unfortunate death, spoiled milk, the weather or a poor decisions made by an otherwise reasonable person. Failure to do so means the GM gets to pick, at their leisure.

85, If a enamoured woman, an orphan or a widow in distress ask for your help in a desperate matter and offer you a single gold coin then you cannot reject them and must act up to three times towards that cause. You can however interpret the problem to your taste...

86, You can enchant a severed tree branch of your height to have it, at night, carry you through the air to the nearest witch or hag coven.

87, To you, hot is cold and cold is hot. You stride naked in the snow but must bundle up ridiculously in heat.

88, You can read anyone's aura. It tells you how gullible they are. You may make a Charisma check to sense their Wisdom penalty, if any.

89, With an overnight ritual, you can weave any spell you know into the flesh of an apple still on the branch. It retains the magic for 24 hours or until eaten.

90, You can peel footprints off the ground and place them wherever you want.

91, You can punch, kick, & grab other people's shadows as if they were their physical bodies.

92, Your are a name thief. You may steal one victim's name at a time. The victim is normal in all respects except that no one will remember their name, even if it is written down. No extraplanar entity or spirit will be able to do business with the victim. Also, any curses or demonic contracts are transferred to you. To cast a spell, eat a letter from your 16

victim's name. Once all of the letters are consumed, the victim gets a pile of random Scrabble tiles, as many as their name had, to build a new name. Obviously this process can be interrupted, but the name is still missing any letters you ate when you give it back.

93, You cannot die during an eclipse, but suffer all harm inflicted upon you when it ends

94, When you dance, so do the dead.

95, You are completely invisible to domesticated dogs, house cats think you're three feet to the left of where you really are, and swine always act in your presence as if under the influence of a charm spell.

96, You can ensure that a willing supplicant's unborn child is later born healthy and free of physical flaw. If the fool who promised fails to carry out the favor when called upon, you can call their debt due, resulting in a turn of bad luck that results in the child being maimed in mind or body. (e.g. Paralyzed after the parent attacks them in the night due to mistaking them for a burglar.) If the original supplicant dies before the debt is called due, the debt is inherited by the child.

97, Areas where you have often trod develop a fungal growth under the surface that sometimes erupts in mushrooms at night. A pig can be used to trace you back to your home, but the pig must wear a muzzle, as consumption of the mushrooms or fungus by any creature may (1 in d4) cause d6 random minor spells to go off, plaguing or injuring the pig and any handlers nearby. The witches who develop this trait would also like to know more about how and why the fungus is sometimes harvested by unknown creatures burrowing up from deep under the earth in small tunnels.

98, The many scabs under your hair may be picked at, releasing thousands of small ant-like insects that seek out and form a trail to drink from the eyes of sleeping children and virgins.

99, By sewing your lips together, none may speak in your presence.

100, Your footprints are those of the last thing you have killed.

Entries contributed by: Reynaldo Madriñan , Jason K , Logan Knight , Anthony Picaro , Chris H , Matthew Adams , Mandy Morbid , Arnold K. , Reece Carter , Courtney Campbell , Brian Murphy , Daniel Dean , Ryan Silva , Mateo Diaz , Enzo Garabatos , David Sánchez and , Anders Nordberg , Evan Edwards , Joshua Macy , Lucien Reeve , Timothy Franklin , Cole Robotshenanigans , Adam Silkey , Lior Wehrli , Eric Nieudan , Axis Mundi , Bennet Akkerman , David Pretty , Simon Forster , Jack Mack , Marcus Tsong , and Scrap Princess

Thief (Variant for all old-style D&Ds)

Here's how it works:

1. Hit points work as usual. D6 every level. 17

2. If you're using a 3-save system, give yourself a +1 dex save, if you're using LOTFP or another old-style Death Ray save system, give the thief saves that are one worse than usual. In LOTFP that's: Paralyze 15, Poison 17, Breath 16, Device 15, Magic 15.

3. The automatic thief skills are: Climb, Search, Find traps, Sleight of hand, Sneak attack, Stealth and Tinker. In LOTFP these all start at a 1 in 6 chance* and go up by one each time you add skill points. The exception is sneak attack which starts at normal damage then goes to double damage then to triple, etc. Anyway: add 2 skill points anywhere you want to your skill list as opposed to the usual 4.

If you are not using LOTFP follow that asterisk for suggestions on how to allocate your 16.6666 repeating percent improvement. Or if you're using a system with a thief-abilities-by-level chart (like AD&D), you could just interpret "using your 2 skill points" as moving up one level up on the chart. If you do this you'll eventually end up with something like a 6th level thief who performs thief functions at like 3rd level plus has a few of the below gimmicks. Not as hard to keep track of as it might seem so long as (like wizards everywhere) you write all your important stuff on your character sheet.

4. At first level and every time you level up, roll twice on the table below. What happens if you roll a thing twice (consecutively or otherwise) is also explained.

(some of these include stuff about ability score bonuses, if you have an ability score minus, just ignore that)

1-20 Heyyy, I've seen this thing before... +1 to all your saves.

21-70 Sitting in that corner flipping that coin over and over really improves the hand-eye coordination: 2 skill points or just slide up to the next thief- function bracket if you're using 1e.

71 You're an experienced mugger with an eye for detail. For each combat round you spend just watching someone (i.e. you're not doing anything except maybe moving and you are not being attacked yourself) you get +d10 to hit and +d10 to damage or +d10 to any attempt to trip, grab, or otherwise mess with the target when you finally do decide to attack. This only works on targets that are alreadsy engaged or that you can sneak attack in the round where you finally act. The ability can only be used once per fight on anyone smart enough to notice what you're doing. Also: only works on things with organs (like, not on oozes). Re-rolling this raises the die to d12 then d20. After that you start getting 2d10 then 2d12 then 2d20 etc. 18

72 Ok, you're not totally useless in a fight. Add your dex bonus to your attacks in melee combat. Re- rolling this this just adds +1 more. If you have no dex bonus, add +1.

73 So I found this scroll in this old man's house, right? You have learned one magic-user spell. It functions as if cast by a 15th level wizard or your level whichever is higher. Determine the spell randomly (d8 for level). It works once, that's it.

74 Oh, sorry ma'am didn't mean to... You can super- easily trip any basically human-sized creature that is otherwise engaged with someone or something else on a successful roll-under dex d20 roll. This only works once per fight unless the enemy is mindless like zombies or for some reason can't see you pull off this tactic. Re-rolling this result means the trip does damage: d4, then d6, then d8 etc.

75 Eeeny meeny miney....moe... You are real good at stabbing people in places they really wish you hadn't. If you successfully attack a foe with basically understandable anatomy (like: organs and stuff) with a dagger (or bodkin or whatever), you have the option to leave the dagger in--in some horrible place. The dagger will do d6 ongoing damage per round and will do d20 if they take it out. Yes you can just keep doing this to them over and over like they're a pincushion if you buy a lot of daggers. Magical healing will allow safe extraction of the dagger as will decent mundane medical attention. If you re-roll this result the die of damage for the ongoing damage goes up: d8, d10, d12, d20 etc.

76 All that drinking in the Melting Strumpet has finally paid off. You know a secret. One of two kinds of secret, to be precise: either a piece of useful lore about a legendary treasure or magic item that you encounter or an embarrassing fact about an NPC. Mechanically: once per session you may astound your party's condescending wizard by pulling this lore or rumor out of your ass by making a successful roll-under int check. If you fail, screw it, you can't do it this session. Re-rolling this means you try for this twice per session, then 3 times, etc

77 You've been getting steady work in the city and are familiarizing yourself with the tools of the trade. If you garotte someone they automatically lose a turn on a successful hit, if you bola a running target they will fall down, if you whip somebody successfully you will entangle a limb for at least one round (or one round longer than normal depending on the rules) and if you drop caltrops or marbles and someone with legs steps on them they will automatically fall down. Re-rolling this result adds damage to any of these +2, +4, +6 , etc

78 The old smack and nick... On a successful melee hit, you may immediately make a Sleight of Hand attempt to grab an item (other than the target's weapon) off a target. This won't work twice on anyone above zombie-intelligence who sees it. Re-rolling this result means you get a bonus to the sleight roll for each re-roll +1, +2, +3 etc.

79 Ok, you're kind of a ninja. You are capable of great acrobatic feats and dodges and leaps. In combat, this allows you 2 separate move actions at any time and you can attack and break off being attacked with no danger of reprisal once per . So you could go: attack move move or move attack move or move move attack. You may do this once per fight plus one more for every time you re-roll this result. (Note this is slightly stingier than the Ranger version of this ability.)

80 You've been practicing with flower pots on old ladies. You are +(entire charisma score) to hit with any suddenly improvised weapon the first time you strike against any intelligent foe (who the hell knew you were going for the breadbox?) and add your whole charisma score to the damage. This trick only works once per fight. Re-rolling this adds +2, then +3, then +4 to the damage, etc. 19

81 Score! You have d6 doses of horrible drugs that are bad for you. They work by ingestion or insinuation. Unless the GM has some crazy drug table, I'm going to say victims must save or act as if under a Confusion spell for 4 rounds.

82 You're a pro at conning. Your silver tongue gives you a +2 charisma bonus to lying. If charisma checks don't come up much in your game, just say someone of ordinary intelligence you can talk to will pretty much automatically believe one lie you tell per day. If you re-roll this result it goes +2 more, +4, +6 etc. or extra lies per day.

83 The gods of luck smile upon your worthless thieving hide. You may escape death or another equally awful fate exactly once. You must spend at least a round playing possum to build tension but....surprise, you jumped out of the way just in time! Re-rolling this means you get to do it again.

84 Oooo, skull and crossbones... You can make 1+ int bonus doses of poison given 12 hours in a city or large town and 15 gp of materials. It's good for d4 hours and does d10+int bonus damage ingested or insinuated on a failed save. You also have been dealing with the stuff so much that you get a +2 bonus to save against poison in general. Re-rolling this increases the save by 2 and means you can make another dose per 12 hour period.

85 Yesssss! Finally you've found it--that thing you wanted? The big score? The Jewel of the Throckmarten Throne? The parasite that eats bad karma? The magic knife that slits throats all by itself? The comely sibling of the monstrous vicar? Whatever. It's there. 4 sessions worth of adventure away or less. Tell your GM, who then must place it.

You must have a fair shot at it--like any other reward, but there's no guarantee you will get it. If you don't get it by the fourth session you can keep trying or let it go and roll again on this table. However if you choose to roll again and then you do get the thing somehow anyway, you lose whatever gimmick you rolled. GM think up some clever reason why.

86 Ohhh... your head hurts and why is this countertop marble? It's hard to reconstruct but you are pretty sure you scored 5000 units of the local currency (GP? SP? Kroner?) and spent it all in one night. Here's how it works: you have exactly ten seconds real time to say what you bought. You now have all that stuff, assuming it adds up to less than 5000 gp. You do not get xp for this treasure.

87 Being something of a coward has paid off. You are + 4 to hit with a bow or crossbow if you spend a round aiming. Re-roll? +6, +8 etc.

88 Haaaa! It was me all along! You have learned the art of disguise. Mostly. It's a your Int vs. their Wis roll, assuming you have access to about 40 gp worth of stuff or the kind of materials you'd find in a civilized area. Every time you reroll this you get +2 to the check.

89 You've been working on doing convincing squiggles. You are adept at forgery. Mechanical details work like disguise above: (Int v Wis, 40gp, +2 on a re-roll, etc etc)

90 You've been watching Antiques Roadshow. You can appraise treasure to a nontrivial and nonboring degree: you can estimate the value of nonmagical things flawlessly and if a piece of treasure is not what it seems on any level you will get an inkling. As in, you'll go "Is this not what it seems?" and the GM will go "Yeah, you've seen a lot of jade urns in your day and this is not what it seems somehow--you're not sure how." If a treasure has some unusual or hidden feature of a mechanical or physical nature you will sense that it is there on a successful Int roll. You won't know what it is, but you'll sense that it is there. You also have an extra +1 (in 6) and + int bonus (if any) chance to notice unusual features or traps in rooms if you are familiar with the culture that built the room. If you re-roll this result you are reading now, just roll again.

91 Keeping one step ahead of the law is hard work. +1 Dex to racial max, excess goes to Str or Con. 20

92 You are the steely-eyed one at the end of the bar. +1 Wis to racial max, excess goes to Int or Cha.

93 You're not as dumb as you look. +1 Int to racial max, excess goes to Wis or Cha. Note: You look no smarter.

94 It's weird, people are beginning to believe you when you talk. +1 Cha. to racial max, excess goes to Wis or Int.

95 The whole stop, drop, roll thing has finally sunk in. +2 to reflex save or whatever saves can plausibly be derived from "jumping out of the way" in your system. If a save normally means you take half damage, you take none.

96 You've developed highly advanced avoidance strategies. If you are attacked in a round that you spend doing nothing but dodging and your attacker misses, s/he or it will not only miss but fuck up and lose his or her next turn (if s/he or it has multiple attacks, s/he will lose a number of attacks equal to your level). This only works once on anything of better than zombie intelligence that sees it happen. If you re-roll this result, you get it twice, then three times, then four, etc.

97 He's a card player, gambler, scoundrel--you'd like him. You have pals all over. You have one contact for each thief level you have (write these pals down when they appear). This ability can be triggered in any civilized area (or uncivilized areas that travelers frequent) and HEY, IT'S YOU!!!. (GM, get rolling some random NPCs.) These will generally be low-level underclass types--thugs, mountebanks and freakshow performers and, though they have information, they will not be adventurer-material (i.e. they won't help you fight things or open trapped doors for the most part). However, if you re-roll this result you may do one of the following things: "upgrade" an existing contact to upper class status (inheritance? big score?) or "upgrade" an existing contact to adventurer status (that is: you've made it look like fun and they want some, too.)

98 You're utterly forgettable. First: you are skilled at playing possum--if you pretend to go down in a fight you will most likely be ignored thereafter even if everyone else is already dead and will get a +2 to any sneak attacks thereafter. Also: In combat, you can stealth up on people even if they have already seen you and are in daylight so long as they are already fighting someone else or otherwise engaged. If you re-roll this or if your GM is the kind that already assumes that you can do this kind of thing, then this ability lets you pretty much keep stealthing over and over in the same combat so long as you switch targets or you can attack the same target so long as you spend one round not fighting them. Subsequent re-rolls after that just add 2 pips to your stealth up to the max and after that you should roll a different result.

99 You're so used to walking around in the dark it's like you're a bat. You treat night-time illumination as if it was just an overcast day and lightless pitch nine-levels underground darkness as if it were night-time (on account of your other senses being developed and/or some kind of creepy Lamarckian evolution). If you re-roll this or are using some variant rules where you are some species that can already see in the dark, you have a Daredevil-like radar sense allowing you to find your way around fine in even magical darkness or fog or when blinded plus your regular sight extends another 20'.

00 You are Dr Relaxed. You've seen and done so much that nothing phases you--you are immune to insanity or confusion in any form. Even mind-altering cosmic horrors from the far edge of the cosmos are like whatever. You still do fear. Fear is good. Fear keeps you alive. Re-rolling this means any allies who can see you likewise get a bonus (+2) to their saves on account of your steady eye.

The Thief player must not become star-struck by this glittering cache of combatly options. You get 10 seconds to pick what you're doing once it's your turn.

In addition to all this, thieves keep track of their scores. Write down things you have heisted or stolen (anything that was itself actively guarded or trapped--not just things that were lying there in the dungeon). Any criminal who knows who you are personally or who has any connection to the criminal 21

underworld whose total number of experience points is equal to or less than the xp value of your biggest score (in LOTFP: over 1200--2nd level, over 2400--3rd level, over 4800--4th) will treat you as if your charisma is 18 (or, if it actually is 18, then 20).

BARBARIAN (Variant On The Classic Class for DIY D&D games)

So, start with the hit points and saves for a 0-level Fighter in your system (if it has a Ranger, hey, even better). Write those down.

1-29 +1 to hit. Because fucking barbarian, hello?

30-45 +1 to all your saves. Getting wizard controlled gets old after a while.

46 Yes, you can have one axe in each hand, munchkin. You have a second attack per round. You divide your usual attack bonus however you like between opponents/strikes. You get another extra attack per round every time you re-roll this result.

47-48 You're tough as jerky. +1 con up to racial max. Numbers in excess go to str or dex.

49-52 CROM SAYS DIE!!! You are extra motivated about killing really big things that fucked you up. If a creature more than 10' tall knocks you down to half or fewer hit points, you may summon your angriosity to inflict triple damage on a hit. This only works once per opponent. Unless you re-roll this result, then it works twice, or three times, etc etc.

53 Mmmm, I know this beast... In any wilderness environment like that of your native land you will know whatever organic life has been there in the last 24 hours including all typical wandering monsters, and you know about anything that's been there in the last week on a successful roll-under-wis or roll-under- 22

level (whichever is higher) check. Re-roll this result and it extends to dungeons, then to cities, then to inorganic life. Then if you keep re-rolling you can always do the "everything in the last week" thing in the wilderness, then in dungeons...

54 The Great Crone has spoken: that thing you wanted? The Jewel of Carmathroq? The Map To the Pleasure Pits of Mazuun? The Spiked Club of Oool? It's there. 4 sessions worth of adventure away or less. Tell your GM, who then must place it.

55 You grunt and things listen. You have an exceptionally (though not supernaturally) intelligent hound, henchman, or horse (your choice*). This npc cannot be slain, kidnapped or otherwise traduced "offscreen" by the GM, so if he or she's in trouble and your PC is not around you get to play it out. If you re-roll this and your previous one is not dead, you get to add another hit die to your pal.

56 "'Grrr?' GRRRRR!". You can intimidate hostile beasts of animal intelligence into accepting you as dominant so long as nobody in your party has attacked them. Basically, roll d10 and add your charisma or level (whichever is higher) and the GM rolls d10 + the creature's meanness, rated on a scale of 1-20 by the GM with 20 being like some mama bear that just watched you eat all her baby bear's heads and is also mind-controlled by a hostile witch doctor. If the "charisma attack" works, the creature will calm down. If the charm offensive fails, you are at effectively unarmored, flat-footed AC the next round because you are really not scaring them there and are walking right up to the animal. Good luck with that. Re-rolling this result raises your AC by one if the charm offensive fails.

57 This not right... You are totally used to tromping around in the wilderness. In any wooded environment (or whatever other one you are a native of) you cannot be surprised and will always notice anyone coming at least 2 rounds away. Your experience with the landscape and the way it grows allows you to search a wilderness hex at twice the ordinary speed and if you are pursuing or being pursued through the wilderness you add your level, in feet, to your relative speed for purposes of determining who catches who. If you re-roll this, the expertise extends to all outdoor environments, re-roll again and it goes for dungeons, re-roll again and cities, again and it works in like the planes, re-roll again and you should probably just re-roll on this table until you get something different. 23

58 These pythons are not cosmetic. +1str up to racial max. Numbers in excess go to con or dex.

59-60 Roll out the hogfat and corpsepaint. Ok: Take half an hour out of your busy schedule and eat the heart of an animal that you and your party (of 10 or fewer people) killed ( a regular, nonmagic animal, though prehistoric animals and maybe some other weird monsters count at the GM's discretion). You yourself must have delivered the killing blow. After you do that, you gain the offensive strength of that creature for one hour (# of attacks, bonus to attack, damage) but are also kind of nuts and cannot speak except in short grunts (you can point). You can preserve the heart for as long as you want before doing this. Do this more than once per day and you will go completely crazy. Re-roll this result and the effect lasts an extra hour.

61 Slaughtermaster. You know exactly where to put it: +1 damage. If you roll this again it jumps to +3, then +5, +7 etc

62-63 Hearty motherfucker. +2 vs toxins, poisons and whatever other saves might be considered derivable from your general good health in the system you're using. +3 vs inebriation. Same bonuses again each time you reroll this.

64-65 Smacktastic. On a melee hit you can do your usual damage plus knock a human-sized opponent back ten feet. If you try it twice on the same opponent they get a save or str check or something against you. If you roll this result again you get 2 free shoves before the saves kick in. After that, re-roll.

66 Human steamroller. On a melee hit you can do your usual damage plus knock a human-sized opponent prone. If you try it twice on the same opponent they get a save or str check or something against you. If you roll this result again on this table, you get 2 free knockdowns before the saves kick in, then 4, etc. After that, re-roll.

67 The ways of your people are murderous ways. You are now +2 to hit in 2 of the following situations: from horseback, in unarmed combat, or with a bow or crossbow. Your choice. If you eventually roll all of those and keep re-rolling this result, you start getting +2s to weird fighting situations you can make up, like fighting blind or on fire or whatever GM approval blah blah blah 24

68-69 Eye of the Deeply Uncivilized. +2 to checks to intimidate people -1 to charm or lie to fancies. +2 when your re-roll this thereafter.

70-71 ...but that day is not this day. Basically you can use the Shields Shall Be Splintered rule on a limb of your choice: A single hit that normally would have killed you just maimed you instead. You lose an arm below the elbow or leg below the knee, your choice. If you re-roll this you can "bank" another one or, if you've already lost a limb, the next time you get magically healed it comes back.

72-73 Headcrusher. Your crit range extends by one. Now you double damage on a 19 or 20. Keep rolling this and it keeps extending.

74-75 Killed you a bar when you was only 3. You can now knock prone or shove (10') anything that is animal intelligence up to the size of a bear in addition to also doing the usual damage on a successful melee hit. Subsequently re-rolling this result gives you the same advantage against creatures of any intelligence, then a +2 to damage vs animal-intelligence foes, then vs people.

76-78 You are yet more metal than before. You do triple damage on a crit. Re-roll this: you do quadruple, etc.

79 You hate heads. If you roll a natural 20 against something with a head in melee and its level/HD is equal to or less than yours, it does not have a head anymore. Re-rolling this means you can do it against things your level or one higher, then 2 higher, etc.

80-82 Enhanced Frazetta armor. You may add your charisma bonus and strength bonus to your AC when not wearing armor. If you have no charisma bonus or strength bonus then you are a fucking putz of a barbarian but treat this roll as if you just upped your charisma by one. Re-rolling this means your charisma goes up by one.

83-84 There's nothing wrong with them that you can't fix with your hands... You do d6+str damage unarmed. You go up one die each time you re-roll this.

85-86 Nelson is your middle name...On a successful hit you can hold anything whose strength and dexterity are both less than your strength for an extra round automatically before it starts to get checks to escape. You get another round each time you re-roll this. 25

87-88 You are deeply used to being haunted by the ghosts of the fallen. You are immune to fear from any kind of undead and are +1 to save vs any kind of spooky undead special power by any kind of ethereal dead. +2 more each time you re-roll this.

89 Bah! It is nothing. You have 2 points of damage resistance to any kind of energy that is like the weather condition typical of the harsh environment in which you were spawned--like if you're from the desert, then heat does -2 to you, if you're from the arctic wastes, cold does -2 to you, if you come from a seagoing culture, then you take -2 from water damage.

90 Heedless charge. On the first round of any combat (and only on the first round) you may gamble any number of your hit points on an attack. If you hit--you do that much damage, if you miss, you take that much damage (a miss indicates your foe was able to set up to receive your charge). You must be in the first rank of combatants (i.e. nobody gets to soften them up or test them before you pick how much you're gambling.) Each time you re-roll this you get +1 damage to the attack.

91-92 You're so sick of dealing with these decadent merchants you've started to DIY it. You can make your own weapons given a week and 25% of the usual cost of this merchandise. Each time you roll this (including the first time) you've had enough free time and luck to custom-craft one for your hand and fighting style, allowing you a +1 to hit and damage with that weapon.

93-94 These people have no clue what's out there. Your scars, tattoos and monstrous speech speak of exotic lands and distant adventure to the gullible folk of civilized lands. +2 to lie about where you've been or what you've seen to any of these so-called "sophisticates"--they'll believe anything. +2 more each time you re-roll this.

95-96 The spirits of earth and air know your name--and are beginning to wish they did not. +1 vs any cleric or druid spell, +2 if you have personally slain a cleric of that faith. +1 more each time you re-roll this.

97-98 There is a reason this axe is this big. On a successful hit you may distribute the damage rolled between any two targets within reach so long as they have an equal or lesser armor class to the one you just hit. Every time you re-roll this you get one more target up to a maximum of 5.

99 Re-roll on the ranger table.

00 Re-roll on the fighter table. _ 26

* or roll on this table I stole from JOESKY's barbarian

YOU GET A FOLLOWER, ROLL ON THIS TABLE 1D12: 1-3 NERD: HE IS THE OPOSITE IN MANY WAYS OF YOU, AND HE TALKSLI KE A FAG AND HIS SHITS ALL RETARTED, BUT HE IS OKAY FOR NOW 4 – 6 SEXY CHICK: MAYBE GOOD WITH A BOW OR SOMETHING, CAREFUL THE HOT ONES ARETRICKERS! 7-9 LOSE CANNON WIZARD: ALWAYS DRUNK 75% OF TIME 10-12 ORNERY CRITTER: GOOD IN A FIGHT BUT EATS ALLOT AND WILL PEE ON YOU TO COMIC AFFECT

RANGER (Variant On The Classic Class for DIY D&D games)

So, start with the hit points and saves for a 0- level Fighter in your system (if it has a Ranger, hey, even better). Write those down.

1-25 +1 to hit. Hitting things is good, right?

26-45 +1 to all your saves. That's nice.

46-47 Look at you all dual-wielding. You have a second attack per round. You divide your usual attack bonus however you like between opponents/strikes. You get an extra attack per round every time you re-roll this result.

48 You're a ranger and you're ok, you work all night and sleep all day. +1 con up to racial max. Numbers in excess go to str or dex.

49 You are indeed limber. +1 dex up to racial max. Numbers in excess of the max go to str or con.

50-53 You--there! You--behind that boulder! You're very good at ambushes. Here's how it works: when you set up an ambush on an unsuspecting foe, everybody in your party (up to 8 creatures) gets an extra non-regular-attack, non- spell action in the first round. Like: somebody can pull a tripwire (not a regular attack) and hit somebody with a sword in the same round. Re-rolling this again means you get a +2 to not being detected each time. 27

54-56 Y'know what? You're really good at shooting arrows. Bow or crossbow, if you roll maximum damage the arrow lands wherever you want. Like exactly. In the eye, through the hand, whatever. Yes that means the smaller bows are slightly more accurate. Kinda makes sense, right? I think so. Anyway: Re-rolling this result gives you an extra arrow or quarrel shot per round if all you do that round is shoot.

Also, you can use the Called Shot Mechanic with a bonus allowing you to get the first extension of your crit range "free" (i.e. crit: 19-20, fumble: 1) and you get more "free" extensions if you re-roll this result.

57-60 The bigger they are... You're a hunter used to taking on vast beasties and know a thing or two about anatomy. Given a round to aim (if using a missile weapon), or a round of observation in melee (for these purposes, "observation" means spending a round in melee doing anything but attacking--including climbing on your opponent) you can inflict triple damage on any bigger-than human (size L) opponent with a sharp weapon on a hit. This only works once per opponent. Unless you re-roll this result, then it works twice, or three times, etc etc. It doesn't work on like Cthulhu shit with no organs or gelatinous cubes or stuff like that. 61-63 The sand people ride single file to disguise their numbers... In any wilderness environment you will know whatever organic life has been there in the last 24 hours including all typical wandering monsters, and you know about anything that's been there in the last week on a successful roll-under-wis or roll-under-level (whichever is higher) check. Re-roll this result and it extends to dungeons, then to cities, then to inorganic life. Then if you keep re- rolling you can always do the "everything in the last week" thing in the wilderness, then in dungeons...

64 THE LEGEND IS TRUE!!! You've heard a rumor in a wild and forgotten place--that thing you wanted? The sunken galleon? The Claw of Thirty Thrones? The steampunk compound bow? The little fairy that helps you find cake? It's there. 4 sessions worth of adventure away or less. Tell your GM, who then must place it.

65-66 Your rakish charm inspires awe in lesser beings. You have an exceptionally (though not supernaturally) intelligent hound or horse (your choice). This beast cannot be slain, kidnapped or otherwise traduced "offscreen" by the GM, so if he or she's in trouble and your PC is not around you get to play it out. If you re-roll this and your previous one is not dead, you get to add another hit die to your pal.

67 You're the most hardcore beastmaster. On your adventures you're gonna meet some dangerous animals. One of them is going to be your friend. Which one? Here are the restrictions: it has to be a real-life animal (prehistoric ones count at the GM's discretion) and it has to be something that either isn't hostile to you or that you or your party subdued. If it's big enough to ride--an elephant, a rhino, a sabre-toothed tiger then whatever: you can ride it no problem. Also you have to name it. Re-roll and now you have another pal to replace it or you get to add to the other pal's hit points.

68-69 Sniper. If you spend a round aiming a missile weapon you get +4 to hit (or 2 better than usual in your system). If you re-roll this it goes to +6, then +8, etc. If you keep re-rolling after +10 you start getting a second missile attack at +0 in the same round. Then +1 then +2, etc.

70-71 Traptastic. You are good at setting snares. If you're in a verdant environment or any area with like furniture or other materials handy you can cannibalize then you can fashion a snare or trap in 10 minutes if you can describe it in at least 3/4-assed detail to the GM. Detecting your trap is d10+ (creature's int) vs. d10 + (your Int or level-- whichever's higher) as is any other check associated with it. Unless your description of the trap says otherwise, if it's the kind of trap that inflicts damage it'll inflict d6. If you have a steel bear trap or the like you can set it in a single melee round. If you re-roll this, the trap becomes more effective by +2 to both damage and to any checks associated with it. 28

72-73 Critter whisperer. You can try to soothe hostile beasts of animal intelligence so long as nobody in your party has attacked them. Basically, roll d10 and add your charisma or level (whichever is higher) and the GM rolls d10 + the creature's meanness, rated on a scale of 1-20 by the GM with 20 being like some mama bear that just watched you eat all her baby bear's heads and is also mind-controlled by a hostile witch doctor. If the "charisma attack" works, the creature will calm down. If the charm offensive fails, you are at effectively unarmored, flat-footed AC the next round because you are trying to be all Timothy Treadwell there and are walking right up to it. Good luck with that. Re-rolling this result raises your AC by one if the charm offensive fails.

74-75 Hark! You are totally used to tromping around in the wilderness. In any wooded environment (or whatever other one you are a ranger of) you cannot be surprised and will always notice anyone coming at least 2 rounds away. Your experience with the landscape and the way it grows allows you to search a wilderness hex at twice the ordinary speed and if you are pursuing or being pursued through the wilderness you add your level, in feet, to your relative speed for purposes of determining who catches who. If you re-roll this, the expertise extends to all outdoor environments, re-roll again and it goes for dungeons, re-roll again and cities, again and it works in like the planes, re-roll again and you should probably just re-roll on this table until you get something different.

76-77 Swallowed the Monster Manual: Your Ranger PC knows everything you, the player, do about any monsters in the game plus s/he can unerringly know the next action (including target if there is one) of any animal intelligence organic creature in combat. Re-roll this and it applies to any organic creature, period, re-roll again and it applies to everything except like inscrutable energy beings like Xay-Ye and Xeg-Yi. After that, if you keep re-rolling you start getting +2 to hit things (in the same order: animal, then anything organic, then inorganic)

78-79 Your are one of those swashbuckling rangers from the movies--you can do crazy acrobatic BS like Legolas or Robin Hood. You can do a number of these stunts equal to your dex bonus per fight. These allow you to automatically achieve feats that are on the extreme edge of what is acceptable for your the game's grit level. If you use one of these tricks to attack, you can basically add an extra movement (half normal speed) onto your turn after the attack without any chance of getting hit back. So: leap in, attack, end up out of range again OR attack, then move then move again so you are a full 60' (or whatever) from the target. (If you have no dex bonus, you just get a +1 to dex for rolling this result instead of the crazy acrobatics.) Rolling this result twice adds one to the number of stunts you can perform or to your dex.

80-81 Scout. You have invested even more heavily in green makeup than the average ranger and are a master of camouflage: In wilderness environments you are effectively invisible at night until you attack, and during the day you can move at normal speed and stay concealed. People trying to find you need to pass a check pitting their wisdom vs your dexterity or level, whichever is higher. Re-rolling this allows you to add new environments--city, then dungeon.

82-83 You've been alligator wrestling or whatever. You can now knock prone or shove (10') anything that is animal intelligence up to the size of a bear in addition to also doing the usual damage on a successful melee hit. Subsequently re-rolling this result gives you the same advantage against creatures of any intelligence, then a +2 to damage vs animal-intelligence foes, then vs people.

84-85 Kingsfoil aye it's a weed... If you are in the wild or have been in the wild in the last 4 hours, look out world: we're going to assume you've collected some leaves and know how to use them. You've got two doses of some vegatabley bandages which can cure d4 hp of damage. After 4 hours the plants aren't fresh enough to work. If you reroll this result, we'll assume you are good enough to screw up less and have 4 doses, re-roll: then 6, etc etc

86-87 Don't mind me, just collecting berries... You can prepare two doses of minor league poison given one hour in your preferred wilderness or environment like it. The victim must save or be entertainingly screwy (as Confusion probably) for 2d4 rounds and take d6 damage per round. The poison stays potent for an hour and can be injected or ingested. Re-rolling this result increases the damage potency to the next higher die (d10, d12, d20, d30...). 29

88 That anthropology degree has totally paid off. You can perform this ceremony, right? And it takes half an hour and requires you to eat the heart of an animal that you and your party (of 10 or fewer people) killed ( a regular, nonmagic animal, though prehistoric animals and maybe some other weird monsters count at the GM's discretion). You yourself must have delivered the killing blow. After you do that, you gain the offensive strength of that creature for one hour (# of attacks, bonus to attack, damage) but are also kind of nuts and cannot speak except in short grunts (you can point). You can preserve the heart for as long as you want before doing this. Do this more than once per day and you will go completely crazy. Re-roll this result and the effect lasts an extra hour.

89 The art of fighting without fighting. You are one of those smug pseudo-pacifist types who beats the fuck out of people up by directing their own strength against them. On the first round of combat, if the enemy strikes first (or if you let the enemy strike first) with a mundane physical melee attack you can announce you're are "fighting without fighting". You get no attack this round, but instead do a kind of clever dodge or redirect. The net effect is that if the enemy's attack would've hit, s/he does however much damage s/he would've done to you to him, her or itself instead (regardless of the enemy's armor class). Re-rolling this result means you can keep doing it in subsequent rounds.

90-91 Mappy. You pay extra attention when mapping--if the player playing the ranger maps a wilderness area, then, the second time the ranger PC passes through that area (provided at least an hour or one pitched combat has passed-- to cleanse the ranger's mind of initial impressions), the ranger PC will automatically notice any concealed or hidden features in that area, and also any changes since last time. A mappy ranger will also notice any differences between a players' map drawn by someone else and the actual landscape and can find food or fresh water in any mapped wilderness terrain within an hour. Re-rolling this means it works in cities too, then in alien terrain, then in dungeons.

92 You know exactly where to put it: +1 damage. If you roll this again it jumps to +3, then +5, +7 etc

93-94 Dodgy. +2 to jumping out of the way (reflex save, breath weapon save whatever it's called in your system). +1 thereafter if you re-roll this.

95-96 The robust outdoor life serves you well. +2 vs toxins, poisons and whatever other saves might be considered derivable from your general good health in the system you're using.

97 Shovey. On a melee hit you can do your usual damage plus knock a human-sized opponent back ten feet. If you try it twice on the same opponent they get a save or str check or something against you. If you roll this result again you get 2 free shoves before the saves kick in. After that, re-roll.

98-99 Trippy. On a melee hit you can do your usual damage plus knock a human-sized opponent prone. If you try it twice on the same opponent they get a save or str check or something against you. If you roll this result again on this table, you get 2 free knockdowns before the saves kick in, then 4, etc. After that, re-roll.

00 You have roamed, and your experiences have been rich and varied. You are now +2 to hit in 2 of the following situations: from horseback, in unarmed combat, or with a bow or crossbow. Your choice. If you eventually roll all of those and keep re-rolling this result, you start getting +2s to weird fighting situations you can make up, like fighting blind or on fire or whatever GM approval blah blah blah

The Ranger player must not become dazzled by the embarrassment of combatly options. You get 10 seconds to pick what you're doing once it's your turn, got it? 30

In addition to all this, Rangers love to range. Who knew? The Ranger player can keep a list of all the places his/her PC has gone in the campaign and creatures seen. Whenever one of these creatures is seen again or a new kind of creature, NPC or thing which has its origins in one of those places (and the GM is free to define "creature", "thing" or "places" however narrowly) is encountered, the Ranger will have at least one fact at his or her disposal about it. This is not necessarily a combat fact but is something true and with a decent chance of being useful in the session--I heard this person usually hides their treasure in a... these kinds of goblins tend to use the following tactic, these objects are left by the cult of... this person is a Priest from Reelac, thus.... In WOTC-D&D terms, the player automatically succeeds on a lore check or gather information check once per game session. This is by virtue of having been to the place the thing in question is from and having spent time there and/or having been able, since then, to ask around about it.

Also, you may make an intelligence check to know how to speak a sentence in any language that comes up from a place you've been. (Like you just knew it all along because you heard it somewhere.) You can learn to speak well enough to basically get along after a week somewhere and can master it in a month. .

Plus you can track people and monsters, no surprise there. Any tests related to your tracking ability are proportional to your wisdom or your level, whichever's higher. These abilities work as usual in the wild or in towns, and at -d4 in a city or dungeon.

BX ELF

...you start with your normal hit points and saves etc. Write those down. Do everything pretty much the way you would in your system.

However, when you level up:

For each new spell slot you get, roll on this table instead of just filling the slot…

1-59 Gain a spell slot as usual.

60-64 You gain +1 to-hit on all attacks

65-67 All your saving throws improve by +1

68-69 You become more attuned to the secrets of nature. Instead of an empty slot you fill by memorization, you gain a random druid spell of the same level as a daily power. 31

70 You learn the ancient elven art of spell-cobblery. Taking one day and 100gp times spell level in materials, you can create a pair of shoes that will hold a spell you can cast, until used by the wearer or seven days have elapsed. A second roll of this ability allows 3 uses of the spell before the shoes lose their magic. A third removes the one week time limit.

71-72 You know how you are immune to ghoul paralysis? That’s your inner light protecting you. That light grows stronger. Now wight level drain won’t affect you either. If rolled again follow this progression: mummy rot, vampire level drain, all special damage effects of all corporeal undead.

73-75 Spell dilettante: Instead of gaining the spell slot normally indicated, you gain 2 more slots of the next lower level. If you were rolling for a first level slot, in addition to 2 zero level slots you also gain 2d6 cantrips of your choice to add to your spellbook. (See the original Unearthed Arcana or some other source of 0-level spells.)

76-77 You get good with a traditional elfy weapon. Gain +2 to-hit with the weapon indicated by die roll on the d8 chart below:

1-2 Long sword

3-4 Short sword

5-7 Shortbow

8 Spear

Non-standard elves do not use this chart. Drow always get hand crossbow. Sea elves always get trident. Grey elves always get ray pistol.

On subsequent rolls the player may opt to take +2 damage with a weapon they already have +2 to-hit with, or they may re-roll for another +2 to-hit. You may not get better than +2 to-hit/+2 damage with any one weapon.

78 You learned the traditional art of elf baking from your granny. Taking one day and 1,000gp in materials, you may bake a batch of a dozen cookies, all of which have the properties of a single standard potion type of your choice (i.e. something in the first edition DMG or whatever). You can only do this once for each time you roll this entry, and it must be a different recipe (potion type) each time.

79-80 Your horns grow. What, you didn’t know very old and/or powerful elves have horns? Usually they take the form of spirally ram’s horns or deer antlers. Your horns grow d6 inches in length (starting at zero unless you've rolled this entry before). For every 4 inches of horn or fraction thereof, you are +1 charisma when dealing with other elves, fairies of all sorts, most forest creatures, and many goblinoid types (but NOT hobgoblins, those guys fucking suck). However, you are -1 CHA when dealing with dwarves, halflings, and any human not of druidic faith. Maximum horn length is 12 inches plus your level. They are not used for combat, you cretin. 32

81-82 The arcane arts of the elves encompass spells beyond the reach of mere mortals. Add to your spellbook a spell from a supplement or edition not normally used at your table. Its level can be no higher than the highest you can cast. However, you only have 24 hours of real time to research and select your new spell. If you do not email your DM with the complete text of the new spell before the time elapses, you lose this opportunity.

83 You remember a bit of the ancient elven art of making living toys. Pick any monster in the core book that is both small size and possessing no more than half your hit dice. You now have a wooden version of the same as a henchman.

84-85 You grow d12 inches taller. At each whole foot of height above 5’, you gain +1 Str but lose -1 Con as you become a spindly mofo. At Con 2 you must retire from the World of Men, cross the sea, and enter a special home for elvish invalids. If you reach 8’ you can use ogre sized weapons. At 10’ you can start using smaller giant weapons. If you have not previously determined your height, assume you start at 5’6”.

86 You gain a mount or pet.

1 Cooshee (elven dog)

2 Giant Owl

3 Giant Lynx

4 Hippogriff

5 Unicorn

6 Griffon

If you roll this again, you can only get a second of the same type of pet if the first one is still alive. Otherwise, the stink of death is upon you and that kind of monster will never associate with you willingly. The second of 33

the same type will be the other half of a breeding pair and subsequent rolls of the same type will be young (half hit dice, half damage).

87-88 You shrink d12 inches. For each whole foot below 6’, you gain +1 Dex but lose -1 Str. At Str 2 you must retire from the World of Men, cross the sea, and enter a special home for elvish invalids. If you reach 3’6” halfling weapon restrictions apply. At 2’ you can only use daggers and pixie, sprite and certain kobold weapons. At 0 inches tall you shrink out of this plane of existence altogether. If you have not previously determined your height, assume you start at 5’6”.

89-91 The elements possess less dominion over your material body. You now take half damage from a random damage type:

1 Fire

2 Electricity

3 Cold

4 Esoteric magical energies such as magic missiles and prismatic walls

However, you also gain a vulnerability, cold iron and blessed/holy weapons do double damage to you. Reroll if this entry comes up a second time.

92-93 Your ears grow improbably long, even for an elf. Gain +1 listen at doors, etc. If rolled a second time, +1 more to listen and halve surprise chances but disguising your elven nature becomes nigh impossible. Reroll all subsequent rolls of this entry.

94 Fear rarely touches elves the same way it does other races. Gain +4 saves versus all fear effects. If you roll this again, you become completely immune to fear, but you also become so inured to death that you lose the ability to ever again acquire new hit points via level advancement. Reroll the third and subsequent rolls of this entry.

95-96 Roll on the crowd-sourced Witch Table curated by Zak

97-98 Roll on Zak’s Ranger Table

99 Once per session when you spend at least 6 hours doing that creepy meditation thing that elves do instead of sleep, you can query the elf hivemind/social media/akashic record. The DM must answer one question, provided that any elf in the past or present would have access to the answer BUT that answer is filtered through the perceptions of the individual knower(s) (i.e. it may not be 100% completely and objectively correct). If rolled again, the number of questions increases by 1, but the number of times per session does not. I.e. a second roll allows a follow-up question in the same meditative trip on one subject. 34

100 You’ve become so attuned to the elven hive memory that you no longer need to use a spellbook. However, you may only select one spell of each level from among the spells you know, the rest are generated randomly from the complete official elf/MU spell list for the edition you are using. If rolled again two spells of each level may be selected from the spells you know, etc.

Dwarf The normal BX (or whatever) Dwarf-as-Class rules apply at first level. When you level up you get more hit points but attacks, saves, etc. do not advance. Instead, roll twice on this chart:

DWARF

1-39 You gain +1 to-hit.

40-48 You gain +1 to all saves.

49-52 You gain d4 more hit points.

53-54 Roll on Zak’s Fighter chart.

55 You have a nose for gold. Once per day you can smell the largest pile of gold in the vicinity,similar to locate object in range and duration (120’ feet, 6 turns). This power does not function when troglodytes, ghasts, dungeon skunks, large piles of dung, etc. are within range. Reroll if you get this result a second time.

56-59 You can really hold a grudge. Pick any type of monster you encountered in the previous session. You are now +2 to-hit that type of being. Alternately, chose a single individual and you are +4 to-hit them and do double damage dice. You can roll this multiple times, but you must pick someone different each time. Also, the group and individual bonuses do not stack. If you pick orcs on one roll and the Orc King of Bloodsplatter Gulch on another, you are still only +4 to hit the Orc King.

60-62 Your strength, endurance, and packing skills are so finely attuned that normal treasure and equipment only costs you half encumbrance. Huge objects are still a bother, though. Reroll if you get this result a second time.

63-64 You are an expert on thin dungeon walls, the kind that are only a pencil tip wide on the map. You can detect such walls when searching for stuff and you can listen through them as easily as a standard dungeon door. If rolled a second time, you gain the ability to punch a dwarf-sized hole through such walls with only a single pickaxe blow and a successful Open Doors roll. Reroll if you get this result a third time. 35

65-66 Your clan has long standing good relation with the gnomes. You speak Gnomish (if you needed this ability before now those gnomes obviously spoke a different dialect) and get +1 reaction rolls from gnomes. If rolled again you can also speak to burrowing mammals, but only possess bad tourist level vocabulary. If rolled a third time, re-roll.

67-68 The dwarves have been recording their memories in song going back to before the making of the world, and you have memorized a metric crapton of them. Once per session you can sing a song to remember a clue related to any ancient mystery. The DM must provide something useful, but they also get to make an immediate check for wandering monsters. Reroll if you get this result a second time.

69-71 Dang, you are getting good with that crossbow. You are +2 to-hit and the die size for damage bumps up a category. You can reroll this as many times as your DM lets you get away with.

72-73 Your clan used to do business with the folks of the Deep Down. You speak Undercommon and get +1 reactions when dealing with troglodytes, drow, svirfneblin, aboleth, kuo-toa, etc. but NOT those damn duergar. Reroll if you get this result a second time.

74 You once got a glimpse at a partial copy of the Ultimate Treasure Map of the Dwarven Kings (a.k.a. the Worlogog), the original of which purportedly shows every hidden treasure in the entire multiverse. You know the location of whatever crazy MacGuffin you seek or simply a spot where a Type H treasure lies. It is no more than 4 sessions away. You must have a fair shot at it--like any other treasure, but there's no guarantee you will get it. If you don't get it by the fourth session you can keep trying or let it go and roll again on this table. However if you choose to roll again and then you do get the thing somehow anyway, you lose whatever gimmick you rolled. The DM must think up some clever reason why.

75 You find a back door out of here. The next time you are in a dungeon and your goose is cooked, you discover a secret door leading to safety BUT only 1d6 people may pass through it. You are guaranteed the #1 spot, but your friends may have to dice for who survives and who is left behind. Also, the DM totally decides where your escape tunnel leads. You may get another Get Out of Jail Free card on gaining a 36

further level if the next time you roll this you have already expended the previous one. Otherwise, you lose both opportunities and do not get to reroll.

76-78 You have an extraordinary memory for lineages and family history, even for a dwarf. Every time you encounter another dwarf you can recite the history of the great alliance of their clan and yours for +2 reactions, include morale for henchmen and such. Or, you can recite why their clan sucks and yours rules, gaining +2 morale bonus to hit the poor bugger. Finally, any time you fight alongside another dwarf PC against traditional dwarf foes (orcs, goblins, etc.) you can both gain +2 to hit as you recite the history of your clans' joint efforts to wipe out those jerks. Reroll if you get this result a second time.

79-80 Shields shall be splintered and you’re just the fucker to do it. Any time you roll max damage on a melee attack versus an armored opponent they lose d3 points of Armor Class, starting with their shield. Yes, you can totally game this by taking a weapon with a smaller damage range, but be a mensch and stick with a d4 warhammer or handaxe, for Moradin’s sake. Reroll if you get this result a second time.

81-83 People who build monsters out of stone or metal make you laugh. You never need magic weapons to do damage to golems, robots, or other constructs made of stone, metal, crystal, etc. Also, if you do employ a magic weapon you can crit the bastards like normal, scoring things like bleeding results even though it makes no damn sense. Reroll if you get this result a second time.

84-85 You really know how to get the most from rocks. Given two fistfuls of dungeon rubble, you can fashion any standard dungeon equipment (a 50’ rope, a day’s worth of iron rations, a single torch, whatever). It works just as normal--though the rations taste terrible--until used or the end of the session. You may use this talent once per session. Reroll if you get this result a second time.

86 Too tough to die. You may escape any one death that is narratively plausible--e.g. this won’t help you if you’re beheaded--but the DM may delay your reappearance as long as deemed dramatically necessary. You may get another free life on gaining a further level if the next time you roll this you have already expended the previous one. Otherwise, you lose both mans and do not get to reroll.

87-91 You’ve decided it’s time to grow that mohawk. Immediately roll on Zak’s Barbarian chart. From now on, every time you level up, roll once here and once on the Barbarian chart. If you ever lose your mohawk, you lose all your barbarian abilities (including to-hits and such) until you get it back. Obviously, you stop wearing helms. Every time this result comes up again just make another throw on the barbarian chart.

92-93 You have an ear for metal, my righteous bro. You are +1 to any Listen attempt that could involve metallic sounds, such as orcish swords and armor on the other side of the door. Furthermore, if you roll a 1 to Listen the DM must give you some further information about the nature of the metallic sound. Reroll if you get this result a second time. 37

94 Flame eater: you are perfectly happy walking around a dungeon with a mouth full of Greek fire. When you spit it out make a normal flaming oil attack at +2 due to the surprising nature of it. Note that you do not need any mechanism to light the stuff. Maybe it’s the beard? Iron teeth? I dunno. The downside is that your PC cannot speak while loaded. Reroll if you get this result a second time.

95-97 Discerning greed: Whenever there are otherwise identical gems or jewels to split up (like 5 gems worth 100gp each) try to get the first pick of them when splitting the treasure. If you get the first pick, your item is worth 50% more than advertised. You must be greedy and secretive about this fact. You keep the bonus gold value and xp to yourself or else in the ensuing argument you drop the item and it shatters. Reroll if you get this result a second time.

98-99 Oh, man, your beard is getting way effing long, even for a dwarf. Thanks to your sweet beard-fu once per combat you may attempt a bonus trip attack in addition to your normal melee attack. The downside is that all friendlies in melee range (including yourself) also trip and falls on any to-hit roll of ‘1’, in addition to any other fumbles rules in play. If you roll this a second time, you get better at controlling your beard, eliminating the fumble effect. If rolled a third time, re-roll.

100 You have an eye for obscure dwarvish magic items. Unless the DM has already specified the origin of an item, you may declare any found magic item of less than artifact status to be Dwarven Made™. This applies even if it is not normally usable by dwarves. Now it is. Furthermore, it has additional powers ONLY usable by dwarves. The DM should roll on the same chart that lists the item or the nearest equivalent. (BX-based example: Not only is that Wand of Illusion now usable by dwarves, but in their grubby little hands it now also functions as a dwarves-only Staff of Power! Holy shit!) You may use this ability just once. You may roll this result again, but if you have not used the previous roll, you lose both opportunities.

HALFLING

A first level Halfling works just as Jesus and Tom Moldvay intended. Each time you go up a level roll hit points as normal, but otherwise you only gain the abilities indicated from two rolls on the following chart:

01-03 You get nothing. Sucks to be you.

04-22 +1 on all attacks

23-35 +2 on all missile and thrown attacks

36-43 +1 on all saving throws 38

44-47 +2 on one category of saving throw. If you are a FLAILSNAILer, pick both an old school category like Death Ray and one of the Reflex/Endurance/Will trio. If you end up in a single saving throw game, this only counts as +1.

50-51 Gain d4 hit points

52-54 Once per session you may gluttonously devour a week’s worth of rations in one turn. You heal d6 hit points. Pigging out does not heal any special or critical effects, only abstract hit points. Reroll if you get this result again.

55-56 You are an expert at cowering under human-sized shields. If you take no other action, the shield becomes +4 AC instead of the usual bonus and it grants you damage reduction of 10 points for a wooden shield and 15 points for metal ones. Any single attack doing double the damage reduction amount shatters the shield. Reroll if you get this result again.

57-58 In melee you can spend a round to climb on any foe that is larger than man-sized. On following rounds you may backstab as a thief. Use your current level as the guideline for the backstab bonus but it does not advance further as you level up. In order to buck you off, the monster must sacrifice d3 melee attacks, either all in the same round or consecutively. You will take 1d6 damage when that happens. Reroll if you get this result again.

59-61 You may befriend any one monster of animal level intelligence. It must be solitary when encountered and you must have some tasty treat to offer it. No dice rolls are necessary, you simply make a new friend who will follow you and be loyal as long as you treat it well. You may only use this ability once. Reroll if you get this result again.

62-63 You must have some Tallfellows in your family tree. Roll on the Elf chart. If you get a result like "Gain a spell slot as usual" you are now in the magic business. Generate a 1st level spellbook that you find on a dusty shelf in your library.

64-65 You must have some Stoors in your family tree. Roll on the Dwarf chart.

66-68 You’ve gotten really good at blowing smoke rings with your pipe. Once per battle you can use this power to distract any one creature within 30’ for d3 rounds by directing the smoke to its face. This is really good for ruining the spellcasting of enemy magic-user types, but melee types still get to attack at -2. If rolled a second time you can fill an entire 10’ cube with copious smoke, distracting all within. This can really help with making a quick getaway. Reroll if this result comes up a third time.

69 Some halflings still know a bit of nature magic. Gain a random 1st level druid spell as a daily power. If rolled again, you get a second level spell, etc.

70-72 You are an expert at parlor games, cards, board games, and other frivolous pastimes. Whenever such things come up, the DM must give you some clear advantage when determining the winner. This does not include gambling dice, which are unseemly, but does include both poker and chess. Reroll if you get this result again. 39

73-74 You’ve got it deep down where it counts. Once per session you may stay up all night, force march 24 hours, or exhibit some other feat of tremendous endurance with no ill effect. After the adventure is over you’ll need a week at home with tea, good books, and fuzzy blankets. Reroll if you get this result again.

75 You’ve gone native. You can wear shoes or boots and only hate yourself a little. -2 reactions from other halfings if they catch you so indecently attired. Reroll if you get this result again.

76-77 When armed with a single dagger and no shield you get an extra melee attack each round. Reroll if you get this result again.

78-80 You are just as sneaky in studded leather and ring mail as you are in leather or no armor. If rolled again, add chainmail to the list. Reroll the third and subsequent rolls of this entry.

81-83 Party Mascot: It is good luck just to have you around. Once per session you can grant another party member a reroll on any die throw after the results of the dice are known. You must be within 60’ of the party member who rolled and you cannot use this power on yourself. Additionally, if anyone (friend or foe) ever uses a wand of wonder in your presence, you get the choice of two rolls as to the effect. Subsequent rolls of this entry grant you additional rerolls for party members, but no additional wand of wonder effect.

84-85 You get a Wisdom check before you put anything deadly or nasty into your mouth. Useful with poison potions as well as the kind of DM who likes to trick PCs into acts of cannibalism.

86-88 You can throw small stones just as effectively (range and damage) as if you had a sling. Furthermore, if you roll max damage you can bean the foe on the forehead and stun them, knock an item from someone’s hands, or some other cool trick. Reroll if you get this result again.

89 You are preternaturally effective with a thread and needle. Given d6 turns work you can re-size any magic article of clothing to fit anyone from a sprite to a hill giant. Reroll if you get this result again.

90 Once per session when you get lost your nose will lead you to the nearest source of good food or drink. Reroll if you get this result again.

91-93 Evasive little bugger: Any time you would normally save for half damage, you take only ¼ damage if you save. If you roll this item again a save for half roll becomes a save for no damage situation. On a third roll you take half damage if you don’t save, no damage if you do. If you roll this a fourth time you get nothing. Do not roll again. 40

94 Riddle Master: You can challenge dragons, giants, and other fairy tale monsters to a riddle contest You may not win, but you will delay them at least 1d6 rounds. Reroll if you get this result again.

95 Mr. Filch: Once per session you may pocket any reasonably small item, so long as no one is looking. Even stuff you can’t reach or that should set off an alarm or trap or something. You’re not even sure what exactly you did. Reroll if you get this result again.

96-98 You get your choice of two rolls when using a Potions Miscibility Chart. If your DM does not use a random chart for potion miscibility, send them to me for a stern talking-to. Reroll if you get this result again.

99-00 Roll on the advancement chart for Zak’s Alice class.

The following chart was designed for the vaguely Christian cleric of typical pseudo-medieval games. You'll probably need to revise this chart heavily if you've got a lot of weird gods in your campaign.

Random Cleric Advancement

Start with a normal undead-turning, no-spell-at-first-level cleric. Advance hit points, to-hits, saves, and turn undead normally. For each new spell slot you would normally gain, roll on the following chart instead.

01-05 You gain +1 to hit instead.

06-15 You gain +1 on all saves instead.

16-62 You gain a spell slot as normal.

63-65 Your ability to Turn Undead increases by one level.

66-68 You gain the ability to convert one memorized spell per day into healing of d6 per spell level. If you roll this at 2nd level you can heal d6 as a daily power.

69-70 You start to hear voices. Once per session you can ask them a question. The DM will roll a secret reaction roll check for you. The truthfulness of the answer will depend on the roll. Reroll if you get this result a second time.

71-72 You start to see visions. Once per session you can use clairvoyance, as per the 3rd level MU spell. If you roll this a second time, you may opt to use wizard eye (MU 4) instead, on a case-by-case basis. Reroll if you get this result a third time. 41

73-74 You are really getting into the sl miting end of this business. Any time you roll maximum damage with a melee weapon, your opponent must save vs. paralyzation or be stunned for d3 rounds. Reroll if you get this result again.

75-77 You can turn something besides undead once per day. Roll on the chart below:

1. Demons, devils, etc. 2. Elementals of all sorts. 3. Constructs and robots. 4. Stupid mash-up monsters like owlbears and dracolisks 5. Goblinoids 6. Elves and fairies 7. Lycanthropes 8. Anything cthulhoid and tentacley

Your DM will have to decide the equivalency on their turn charts, based roughly on hit dice. If you get this result again, roll on the above chart again. If you get an already-obtained result, your ability to turn that kind of monster goes up to 3x per day. Reroll anything that is already 3x per day.

78-79 Fanatical Followers: Any henchmen or hirelings you obtain who do not already have a strongly documented faith gain +2 morale from your contagious religious fervor. Reroll if you get this result again.

80-81 Create Holy Water: So long as you can cover the cost of 1gp each for the vials, you begin every new adventure with d6 holy waters. Reroll if you get this result again.

82-84 Declare a Crusade: Pick a single species of monster or other type of foe that really cheeses you off. All your party members are +1 to hit and damage against these creatures so long as you are standing with them. This works up to and including massive army scales. You do not get the bonus. If you get this again you must declare a new crusade against someone else. The old bonus no longer applies.

85-86 Last Rites: If you spend 1 turn and sprinkle holy water on a corpse, it cannot return as undead (excepting the occasional revenant). This has no effect on corpses that are already undead. Reroll if you get this result again.

87 Power Word: Marry. (Thanks, Samuel Kleiner!) You can declare any two sentient beings to be united in holy wedlock, and they will totally go for it, as if they had been in love the whole time. You can do this exactly once. Reroll if you get this result again and haven't already used it.

88-89 Pilgrimage: The thing you seek, the MacGuffin or whatever, is located in the tomb of a saint nor more than 4 play sessions away. You must have a fair shot at it--like any other treasure, but there's no guarantee you will get it. If you don't get it by the fourth session you can keep trying or let it go and roll again on this table. However if you choose to roll again and then you do get the thing somehow anyway, you lose whatever gimmick you rolled. The DM must think up some clever reason why. 42

90-91 Some servants of the Lord have strange gifts. Roll on the magic-user spell table equivalent to the highest level spell you can cast. Add that spell to your own spell list. If you don’t have any spells yet (e.g. you’re rolling for second level), gain a random 1st level MU spell as a daily power.

92 Future Saint: The site of your death becomes holy. No undead may enter there and any of your faith who rests here regain spells in half the usual time. Oddly, this still applies if you are resurrected or raised (don't tell the pilgrims). Reroll if you get this result again.

93-94 You gain a spell slot as usual AND a bonus slot of the level below it. If you were rolling for a first level slot, you gain two first level slots.

95-97 You gain an acolyte (1st level cleric) as a free henchweenie.

98 Word of your holiness has spread. When travelling through the countryside, peasants will be happy to feed and shelter you and your friends in exchange for your divine presence. They will also hide you from Johnny Law. The jaded inhabitants of the city require a favorable reaction roll for you to pull this off. Reroll if you get this result again.

99-100 When you are really in the soup you can call on an angel of the Lord (or whatever) to help you. Throw two six siders. Those are the levels of the wandering monster charts the DM should roll dice on. The DM should combine the two monsters in as horrific a creation as possible (contact with the divine is often terrifying). Additionally, the creature can fly 180’, is immune to non-magical attacks, and has one special power of the DM’s choosing. It probably glows, too. It will perform one service on your behalf, subject to DM interpretation, or join in a single combat. If you are not in dire straits when you call on it, it will arrive in its vengeful form: roll a third monster to combine with it and now it wants to smite the shit out of you. You can call on the angel but once. Reroll if you get this result again and have not summoned the angel. (I.e. you can't bank more than one angelic bail-out.) 43

Insano-Libs Random Advancement Cleric

So here's an attempt to do random cleric advancement that tries to account for the vagaries of worshiping a variety of weirdo gods. It's a step above the first random chart I made for clerics, and hopefully less time-consuming than writing a chart for each faith.. All first level clerics are the same as normal (hit dice, weapons, armor, saves, no spell, turn undead). For each spell slot you would normally gain via leveling up, roll on the chart below.

Basically, you define each god using 20 parameters: [1st level cleric spell] - You know how 3e clerics can burn spells to power healing? This is like that only you can choose a different spell that's more appropriate. You can ignore the "1st level" or "cleric" designations if you want to, but don't over do it. [location] - A place where your god has slightly more power/your cleric has slightly stronger faith. [Lesser Miracle] - Some miscellaneous power, roughly equal to a 1st or 2nd level cleric or MU spell. If it's weak, designate it 3x a day (or at-will if it is really puny), otherwise list it as a daily power. [Greater Miracle] - These can be as powerful as you want, but if they are really potent set them at once per session or just one use period. [weapon] - The weapon used by clerics of this faith. If you have no idea, just select mace. [enemy] - a group, race, or species loathed by the faith [basic lore] - something many clerics of this faith know. Like many clerics of the god of blacksmiths know how to make stuff out of iron. [secret lore] - a more advanced knowledge, or something actually secret, maybe even something campaign world important [ritual activity] - something that clerics can do that would take maybe a single dungeon turn that would look pointless or dumb to non-believers but imbues the cleric with a little extra holy power 44

[object] - something material that is holy to the faith but not an actual holy symbol (like the chalice used at a Mass) [ally] - a group that has good relations with the clerics of the god [class] - a non-cleric class somehow relevant to the god. If you're using the DDG, check what class besides cleric the god has the most levels in. That's probably what you want. [servitor] - whatever fulfills the role of angels for this god [color or symbol] - a thing that a cleric could see that would fill them with renewed zeal [clothing] - some sort of holy garb [animal] - literally what sort of pet the god could send to a cleric [element] - the force, energy, or element by which the god can smite enemies [food] - something the cleric can hand out to allies, like communion wafers or witch's brew [taboo] - something the cleric can do to cheese off the god [time] - a part of the day, week, month, or year sacred to your god

Two things to keep in mind when setting this stuff up for your gods: It would be easy to overdo this stuff. Try to keep in mind the relative power level of your deity, especially when setting the two Miracles. Also, try not to be too consistent when developing this profile. Religions often look like nonsense to the outsider. A little inconsistency actually makes a faith more plausible.

I made a Google Form for this process, which dumps the results into a spreadsheet. I already put a handful of gods there to serve as examples of what I have in mind. Please consider using these docs so everyone can have access to a collection of ready-made cleric options. And if anyone knows how to do a mail merge in GDocs, let me know so we can output individual charts for each god.

(BTW, the Great Cosmic Flailsnail is a newly declared god. Zak almost stumbled across Its existence back in 2011, but he didn't realize that the titanic polyhedron he was describing was the shell of a multiversal snail-entity.)

Anyway, here's the chart:

INSANO-LIBS SPECIALTY CLERIC ADVANCEMENT Start with a normal undead-turning, no-spell-at-first-level cleric. All acolytes of all faiths operate exactly the same under this scheme (except for those badguy clerics who can Cause Light Wounds and Recruit 45

Undead). Advance hit points, to-hits, saves, and turn undead normally. For each new spell slot you would normally gain, roll on the following chart instead. 01-05 You gain +1 to hit instead. 06-15 You gain +1 on all saves instead. 16-62 You gain a spell slot as normal. 63-64 Your ability to Turn Undead increases by one level. 65-67 You gain the ability to convert one memorized spell per day into [1st level cleric spell]. If you don’t have any spell slots yet then you gain that spell as a daily power. If you roll this again, you can convert as many spells as you want into [1st level cleric spell] (or you gain 3 per day usages, if you still have no spell slots). Reroll this result after that.

68 When standing at [location] you feel the power of your god flow through you. Make a Wis check every time you cast a spell there. If you succeed, you do not lose the memorized spell. If you roll a “1” you channel too much divine energy and take 1d6 damage for each level of the spell. Reroll if you get this result again. 69-71 You gain the ability to [Lesser Miracle]. Roll again if you get this result a second time. 72 You gain the ability to [Greater Miracle]. Roll again if you get this result a second time. 73-74 You get better at wielding a [weapon]. If you are not proficient with this weapon already, you gain proficiency with it. Otherwise, you gain +1 to hit and +1 damage with that weapon each time you roll this result. 75-77 You can turn [enemy] once per day, using the nearest equivalent hit dice undead on the Turn chart. If you get this result again, your ability to turn that kind of creature goes up to 3x per day. On a third roll, you can make as many attempts to turn [enemy] as your level (min 3). Reroll this result after that. Note that this ability is always standard Turning Away, even if you are one of those badguy clerics who normally Recruit Undead. 78 Fanatical Followers: Any henchmen or hirelings you obtain who do not already have a strongly documented faith gain +2 morale from your contagious religious fervor. Reroll if you get this result again. 79-80 You gain the knowledge of [basic lore]. The DM may require an Int roll to take advantage of this. On a second roll of this result, you gain the knowledge of [secret lore]. Reroll if this comes up a third time. 81 No more than once per session (sometimes it may not be practical) you can perform [ritual activity] and immediately refill your empty spell slots. Reroll if you get this result again. 82 When holding aloft a [object] dedicated to your god (which you can achieve with a simple bless spell), all attempts at turning are at +1 on the turn and number/hitdice turned rolls. If you roll this a second time, the hallowed object also functions in your hands as a bludgeon against [enemy], magically +2 to-hit 46

and doing 2d6 damage, but there is a 50% chance at the end of the combat that the object falls to pieces. Roll again on the third or subsequent occurrence of this result. 83 Declare a Crusade: Pick a single species of monster or other type of foe that really cheeses you off. You cannot select [ally], [class], or [servitor], though you can declare a crusade against a group that a minority of these might belong to. All your party members are +1 to hit and damage against your declared foe so long as you are standing with them. If you choose [enemy], the bonus becomes +2. This works up to and including massive army scales. You do not get the bonus. If you get this again you must declare a new crusade against someone else. The old bonus no longer applies. 84 The mere sight the mark of your god fills you with hope. Once per session when you happen across [color or symbol] in the course of play (i.e. you can’t stage it), you can either regain a single used spell slot or heal yourself of 2d6 damage. 85 When wearing [clothing] you are +2 on all saving throws. A second roll makes you +4 and a third +6. Reroll after that. 86 You gain a pet [animal]. On a second roll of this result, you gain the ability to communicate with any [animal] as well as any monster similar to it. On a third such roll you may attempt to charm any [animal] or any monster similar to it once per day. Reroll after that. 87 Once per day you can channel the power of your god into a burst of pure [element]. It does 2d6 damage to one target, no to-hit roll needed, at a range of up to 60’. For each memorized spell you burn, you can add 1d6 damage or add another target adjacent to the first. Only those diametrically and cosmically opposed to your god are allowed a save for half damage. Among mortals, only enemy cleric and (anti)paladin types normally qualify for a save. 88 Pilgrimage: The thing you seek, the MacGuffin or whatever, is located in the tomb of a saint nor more than 4 play sessions away. You must have a fair shot at it--like any other treasure, but there's no guarantee you will get it. If you don't get it by the fourth session you can keep trying or let it go and roll again on this table. However if you choose to roll again and then you do get the thing somehow anyway, you lose whatever gimmick you rolled. The DM must think up some clever reason why. 89 Holy Consumables. You may begin each adventure with [food] imbued with the power of any first level cleric spell of your choice. Whoever ingests it can use the power of the spell. You have as many portions as your current level. If you roll this again you may select a second level spell instead, etc. 90 You get +2 saves versus [element]. A second roll of this grants you the ability to take no damage when a successful save results in half. A third roll make save-for-half situations into save-for-none/take half damage if the save fails. Reroll fourth or subsequent occurrences of this result. 91 If you personally witness someone violating your faith’s taboo of [taboo], you are +2 to-hit them in melee and they are -2 to save against any spells you throw at them. However, if you witness party members or other allies doing the same thing then your cure spells will no longer work on them. Reroll if you get this result again. 92 Future Saint: The site of your death becomes holy to your faith. No [enemy] may enter there and fellow adherents who rest here regain spells in half the usual time. Oddly, this still applies if you are resurrected or raised (don't tell the pilgrims). Reroll if you get this result again. 93 You gain a spell slot as usual AND a bonus slot of the level below it. If you were rolling for a first level slot, you gain two first level slots. 47

94 Timing is everything. When it is [time], your spells take effect as if you were 2 levels higher or you get +2 on dice (such as Cure Light Wounds). 95-96 You gain an acolyte (1st level cleric) as a free henchweenie. 97 You gain a spell slot one level higher than you were rolling for! However, if you ever violate your faith’s taboo of [taboo], you lose that spell slot forever. 98 The next time you find a magic [weapon] or [object] of unspecified provenance you can declare it a minor relic of your faith. Any cleric or adherent of your faith can use it, despite class or other restrictions. Furthermore, roll once on a random potions chart. In the hands of a cleric of your faith, it has that potion ability as a daily power. Work out with your DM how bad potions like poison or delusion work to the benefit of the user. 99 Roll on the chart for the [class] class. If that chart does not yet exist, roll on something similar (e.g. use the Thief chart if directed to a non-existent Assassin chart) OR roll on the Miscellaneous chart. 100 When you are really in the soup you can call on a [servitor] to help you. It will perform one service on your behalf, subject to DM interpretation, or join in a single combat. You can call on the creature but once. Reroll if you get this result again and have not summoned the servitor. (I.e. you can't bank more than one divine bail-out.)

Bard Minstrelsy is a contagion that strikes as many as 1 in 12 adventurers. To play a Random Advancement Bard, you must begin as a member of any of the more respectable classes, such as Toad Licker, Sewer Urchin, or Pustule Piercer. Just grab a ukulele and begin hey-nonny-nonnying your way across the countryside. 48

THE BARD A member of any class who possesses a Charisma of at least 12, a stringed instrument (30gp new) and a lowered sense of self-worth may elect to become a Bard at any time. You continue to follow all the normal rules for well-adjusted members of your original class, but each time your character advances a level you substitute one or two rolls (your choice) on your normal advancement chart for rolls on the one below.

Note 1: You cannot use any of the song-based powers below unless both your voice and your instrument are in working order. Note 2: Nothing on the chart below functions when wearing any armor heavier than chainmail. Even stuff that should. On the other hand, stuff below that shouldn't work in chainmail totally does.

01-03 You get nothing. No one said show business was easy. 04-09 You get generally better at fighting: +1 to-hit 10-25 You get +1 saves 26-27 +d4 hit points 28-35 If you are already a spell caster, gain a spell slot as normal. If not, pick your new side gig of Wizard, Druid, or Illusionist and gain the abilities of a first level caster. Every time you roll here after that, advance by one level in spellcasting ability. New amateur wizards and illusionists should generate a starting spellbook using the normal rules. How you happened across such a thing is up to you and the DM to decide, but you probably stole it. 36-43 If you are already a thief or otherwise get Thief Abilities (like monks and assassins do), then advance one level in your thiefly skills. Otherwise, gain the skills of a 1st level thief and advance one level every time you roll this result again. 44-50 Work the crowd: By playing and singing for an hour or two you can gain d4gp worth of coins in a village, d6gp in a town, or d8gp in a city. You must roll a Cha check to get the loot but if you get a 20 the crowd goes all angry mob on you. Every time you roll this result you can increase the dice sizes, until it maxes out at d10/d12/d20. Reroll this result after that. 51 Gain +1 Dex. If you already have max Dex, gain +1 saves vs. anything that could possibly be dodged. 52-53 Cunning Linguist: gain knowledge of a language of your choice 54-55 Item Identification. Once per session you can identify any magic item with an Int check. Subsequent rolls grant additional attempts per session. 49

56-57 Countersong: Once per session you can negate sonic effects and attacks with your own music. You can do this for a number of rounds equal to your level plus your Con bonus (minimum 1). Reroll if you get this result again. 58-59 Fencing prowess: Gain proficiency with swords, scimitars, and shortswords if you did not already possess it. Otherwise you are +1 AC when wielding such a sword and not surprised, flat-footed, or otherwise subject to sneak attack. Gain +1 more AC for each reroll of this result. 60 Dancing fool: When affected by Otto’s Irresistible Dance, the poison of the tarentella spider, the music of korreds, etc., you will dance upon a missed save just like everyone else but you may act normally while doing so. 61-62 Sorcerous secret: Gain a random standard first level MU spell as a daily power. Unless you already cast MU spells, in which case roll from a list in some more obscure book of MU spells. If you get this result again gain a 2nd level spell, then a third, etc. 63-64 “Was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl Harbor?” Once per session you may give a rousing but nonsensical speech prior to the start of a combat. All allies who can hear your oration gains +1 to-hit for the ensuing battle and NPCs gain +1 morale. Reroll this result if it occurs again. 65-66 Impress the ladies/lads. Once per session you can play a love song and make a Cha check to seduce a member of any sentient species, provided their orientation includes your gender. 67-68 Hard drinker. Once per session you may down a skin/bottle of ale or wine in one turn to replenish d6 hit points. If this is already a rule in your game, then increase to d12 hit points. Each time this is rerolled you may down an additional skin/bottle, but the DM is allowed to invoke inebriation rules after the first such occurrence. 69-70 Druid secret: Gain a random standard first level Druid spell as a daily power. Unless you already cast Druid spells, in which case roll from a list in some more obscure book of Druid spells. If you get this result again gain a 2nd level spell, then a third, etc. 71 Pied piper: Once per session you can use your music to charm any group of identical monsters of less than one hit die, up to a number equal to your level plus Charisma bonus. The monsters stay charmed for no more than three session or until you charm monsters of another species. 72-73 Illusionist Trickery: Gain a random standard first level Illusionist spell as a daily power. Unless you already cast Illusionist spells, in which case roll from a list in some more obscure book of Illusionist spells. If you get this result again gain a 2nd level spell, then a third, etc. 74-75 Gain +1 Charisma. If you already have max Cha then gain a 1st level henchperson of a random class. 50

76-77 Magic instrument prowess. When using a magic instrument not specifically for Bards it is generally 50% more effective in your hands. Reroll if you get this result again. 78 The skin of your teeth. The next time you die you mysteriously reappear somewhere safe d6 days later, bereft of all equipment and treasure save for one item of your choice. Note that your undergarments count as an item. You may do this exactly once. 79-80 Music soothes the savage beasts. Before combat is joined you can spend a round to play a little ditty to placate any creature of animal or less intelligence. If it fails a save versus spells it will not attack and insteads sits idly for d6 turns or withdraws (50/50 chances). This effect is negated by attacking the monster, stealing its treasure, yelling at it, etc. You may do this once per session. Reroll if you get this result again. 81 Repairer of Reputations: Pick a person that you have been talking up in your original compositions. They’re a little famous now. Everyone in the local region is now +1 reactions with that person. Yes, you can use this for yourself. 82-83 Place lore: Once per session you can know something useful about a place relevant to the current adventure. Reroll if you get this result again. 84-85 Dual wield: You can make an extra melee attack with no penalty by wielding a dagger in your left hand. (You gain dagger proficiency if you don’t already have it.) However, you are a bit of a danger to your friends. If you roll a natural 1 with the dagger attack you automatically stab the nearest friendly. If no ally is within stabbing range, then you must throw the dagger at the nearest adventure buddy. If they are out of range they’re safe, otherwise roll to-hit. Reroll if you get this result again. 86-87 Noble lore: You know all the ins and outs of heraldry, family trees, royal gossip, etc. Once per session and upon request the DM must supply you with a juicy tidbit that can help you in your present situation. Reroll if you get this result again. 88 You may declare any magic item you find to be an Ancient Bardish Artifact. This has no effects on the item or your ability to use it, but everyone else in the party must honor your claim to it unless they are willing to resort to violence. You may do this exactly once. 89 You gain a random mutation. Because fuck you that’s why. 90 El Kabong! Once per session you may use your precious lute or whatever as a bludgeon. This is so surprising that you get +2 to-hit, doing d6 damage and the foe must save versus paralyzation or be knocked out cold. However, if you successfully hit then your instrument is shattered. 91-92 Riddle or fiddle: The next time you are confronted by a monster but a fight hasn’t started yet, you can challenge them to either a song or riddle contest. Negotiate the stakes and both sides roll d20, higher roll winning. You have no mechanical advantage to the roll but the monster will automatically accept the challenge and abide by its results. You may do this exactly once. 51

93 Ruiner of Reputations: Pick someone you dislike. Your latest original compositions have all contained digs at them. They are now -1 reactions for everyone in the region, but there is a 1 in 6 chance they find out it is your fault. 94 Silver-tongued devil. Once per session you may tell of lie of nearly any magnitude and a number of creatures equal to your level will believe it. Reroll if you get this result again. 95 Use any item. You can use any magic item for any class with a successful Int roll per usage. If you roll a 20 you experience some sort of mishap determined by the DM. 96 Lucky bastard: Once per session you can reroll any roll after you know the result. The second roll applies whether it is a better result or not. 97 Admirer. Gain a creepily devoted 0-level loser as a henchweenie. 98-99 Gambler: When resolving gambling attempts you always get the better of two rolls or the draw of an extra card or whatever. You can take the best of a third draw/roll/whatever but there’s a 1 in 6 chance your cheating is detected. 100 Song of Making: Bards know that the world was called into existence by means of a Great Song. You know just enough of this primordial music to call into existence any nonliving object on your ruleset’s price lists, including things like a ship or a tower. You can do this exactly once. 52

PALADIN The paladin is a champion of good and order, a sword and shield for those who have neither - any less is insufficient for their code. While they may revere or even worship various goodly deities and religions, it is generally understood that their quest is much greater and much more earthly at the same time. If they serve anything unflinchingly, it is the well being of other sentient creatures. All Paladins begin as squires, peasants who have long talks with angels, kids who stumble on a magic sword or something like that. So begin with your normal, standard starting HP and saves for whatever system you are using. At first level, its assumed you've at least started being really knightly so go ahead and roll twice on the table below and apply it to your character. Do the same for each time to level up. You also get an additional hit die with each level as per whatever system you happen to be using.

1-20: Training with your mentor, repeated battles, participation in combative sport or any number of other things pay off, add +1 to your chance to hit in combat.

21-40: Intense discipline, resolve and dedication pay off. Improve all your saving throws by 1.

41-50: You value all virtues equally, but you are an exemplar of a particular one. Choose one of the following every time you roll this result:

Valor - While you know fear like anyone else, it cannot conquer you. No longer will you be subject to the effect of magical fear from spells, and even the great dread caused by terrible monsters cannot shake your noble spirit.

Mercy - No matter how great your wrath, it pales before your ability to forgive. When striking a living creature with a blow that would be fatal, you may opt for the hit to instead send them into unconsciousness. Assuming they do not perish through some other means afterward, they will be aware that you spared them and may think of you more favorably from then on.

Truth - Your own honesty allows you to see through lies created by wicked forces. Even magic cannot hide the truth from you - you can see the true form of a shape-changer, polymorph subject, or anyone else whose original form has been changed. You spot all illusions for what they are. You will be briefly aware of invisible creatures when they pass your field of vision, but you receive no other boon against them.

Diligence- Even potentially fatal wounds will not deter you. You may keep acting even once your Hit Point total has reached 0 or less. You only stop when the task you were attempting (Such as holding a position or combating an evil foe) is completed, or when your accumulated negative HP is greater than your (Constitution score + your level) 53

Vigilance- You know your foes all too well. You may take an action to Detect Evil at will.

Patience- Your forbearance is such that arduous tasks that would frustrate or dissuade others are simply a matter of time for you. Once a day, If you have plenty of time and are not interrupted, you may automatically succeed in a task that would normally require an ability score roll. This virtue may be taken multiple times, granting you another automatic success a day each time. The DM may rule that a given task may be impossible for you to do without specific training or tools, even with the application of this ability.

Hope- When all seems lost, you can snatch victory from the jaws of defeat. Once a day, you may re-roll one dice per session if you are in the process of some noble quest or attempt. This virtue may be taken multiple times, granting you another re-roll each time.

Humility- While nobility and rugged mercenaries alike cannot quite understand your humble ways, you are well loved by commoners, freemen and even other knights who appreciate your down to earth mannerisms. You can expect to be received well by such people, automatically passing all Charisma checks involving them that don't involved risky or unreasonable requests.

META-NOTE: Paladin codes can be kind of touchy, but if your character has one of these one can assume it should be incorporated into role-playing how they act and what they do. Just saying.

51-53: Your spiritual strength is equally apart of your physical might now. Add your charisma bonus to hit and damage on top of your normal strength bonus when fighting against a foe perpetuating a wicked deed. Further rolls of this result will grant you a cumulative +1 bonus to damage in this situation.

54-55: An paragon of a particular bestial or extra-planar species has decided to assist you as a mount, guide or partner in battle. It will answer your call once a day and will remain with you until your need for it is complete. This is usually a war-horse, but it can be anything approved by the GM with the following restrictions; It cannot have more than 1 hit die more than you, and if can do anything cool (Fly, spit fire, etc) it counts as one more hit die per ability for the purposes of qualification. Whatever it is, it's good- aligned and also can communicate with you one way or another

Rolling this additional times after the first means another creature can be chosen, with your new level taken into consideration.

56-57: Just as you will never abandon those in need, your weapon is always there when you need it. You may nominate a favored weapon that you can summon whenever needed, wherever it may be. Alternatively, you may create a weapon forged from your soul - you decide the type when this is rolled; the weapon hits on a +1 and is always considered holy/magical for the purposes of dealing damage. Ranged weapons of this type may only be fired every other round, since ammunition for them is formed only after a shot is fired. The weapon remains in till dismissed and can be summoned again instantly. 54

Rolling this additional times will allow a paladin to nominate or create another weapon independently of the first one.

58-59: You are the chosen of the Sun and it grants you its strength. When the sun is at its peak (Usually at noon) you receive a +3 bonus to any die rolls you make during combat or ones that involve utilization of your strength score. This is reduced to a +1 at any other time of the day, and vanishes completely at night or if you are hidden away from the sun. If this is rolled multiple times, add an additional +1 to both values. The Daylight spell will grant you the lesser of the two bonuses.

60-61: So glorious is your countenance that even those most wretched execrations melt away in your presence. When first encountering a cursed person, item or place, there is a (50% + Your level) chance that it will be affected by a Remove Curse spell. If this result is rolled again, add a +5% to the above.

62-63: No malady or plague will take your before your time. Your body is fortified against all mundane diseases. If this result is attained again, you become immune to all magical afflictions, such as mummy rot or lycanthropy. Any further rolls for this ability grant you protections against some other harmful substance or affliction (Petrification, Poison, etc)

64-65: You're devotion to the lives of others allows you to summon great strength in times of need. Once a day, when performing a feat of strength that will save the life of another you are counted as having the strength of a giant, allowing you to lift, throw or hold things a normal human should be incapable of. This may not be used to harm another - further rolls of this result allow you to do this once more a day.

66: The old man foretold of this and the lady of the forest confirmed it; that great relic awaits you somewhere not too far from here. A holy sword, invincible shield or some other enchanted object (Of your choosing, approved by the GM of course) that would help you immensely in your quest is 2-3 sessions worth of adventure away.

67-69: Your righteous wrath is well known, and your gaze alone is enough to deter the wicked. If your intent to fight them is clear, you project a 15' aura of fear against evil creatures of 1 HD or less. Rolling this again increases the effected HD by a step ( 1 HD - 1+1 HD - 2 HD, and so on) 55

70-71: The armor of your soul will always protect you. You may nominate one favored suit of armor; you may summon this armor whenever you are without, and it will slowly appear on you at the rate of 2 armor class points a round, rounded up. As an example, a suit of plate mail that improves your AC by eight points would form fully on you in 4 rounds. Alternatively, your own soul can manifest its own mail, allowing you summon celestial chainmail that is equal mechanically to elven chain, save for it is a brilliant gold color. Further rolls of this result allows you to nominate another article of clothing to be summoned (Such as a cloak or magical helm) or grant the ability to manifest a holy shield (Acts as a normal shield, but is weightless for the Paladin)

71-72: Sometimes the just are a bulwark against the darkness; you gain the ability to turn undead and other foul creatures as a cleric equal to your current level. This requires you to shout loudly or present a symbol or weapon, making stealth unlikely. Further rolls on this table increase the your turning level by one.

73-74: Your wrath undoes the wicked; once a day you may strike an evil or chaotic (non-good) foe with a blow that receives a damage bonus equal to your hit dice total. This strike also counts a magical or holy one for purposes of doing damage to creatures requiring such weapons to hit them.

Further results of this type grant the paladin additional strikes of this nature per day.

75-76: You are a living symbol of hope and those who have allied with you know this. As long as you stand and fight alongside them, all those you've considered as comrades in battle will receive a +1 to hit while within 15 ft of you. Those who you feel need your protection instead receive a +1 bonus to their Armor class. Repeated results of this type increase these bonuses by 1.

77-78: A Queen or King of the Fae has found you to be intriguing. They will save your life or grant you one boon that is within their power when called upon. When this happens, you may make a charisma check; if you succeed, your inherent nobility has struck an unknown chord within them. They will gain a soul and be reborn as a human, perhaps one day meeting you again.

79-80: You have found a saint's relic of some kind; a vial of tears, a set of teeth or nails, a lock of hair. It may be presented, pressed against, or otherwise invoked to cast Dispel Evil. This relic may be used 1d4 times before it disintegrates into nothing, but granting the Paladin a +1 to their wisdom score.

81-88: From within your heart comes great power. You may pick one spell from the cleric spell list that is no greater in level then half your own, at a minimum of one. You can cast this spell once a day. This spell should be something that will aid you in your quests to further the cause of good. Additional results of this kind can be used to pick new spells, or allow you another use per day of a previously chosen spell.

89-90: You cannot leave this life while those on it still need you. If you perish fighting for a great cause that remains undone and if even one person calls for you to return, you may stand again once 56

more regaining half your total hit points. This power also allows you a moment or so of invulnerability, so that if you fell prey to some sort of death trap you may pull yourself free of it.

This power only works once per time this result is rolled. There are limits to even your spirit.

91-92: You ride and with you comes the dawn. Once a year, you may banish the night from its throne and bring forth the sun regardless of the time. It will move to its zenith for the remainder of the interval between its arrival and whenever the night was to fall on the next day.

93-94: Your touch brings comfort and succor. You may lay on hands once a day, either relieving the subject of a natural disease or healing 2 HP per your hit die total. Additional results of this kind grant you more chances to use this ability per day.

95-96: Wicked magic is often unable to withstand your great wiell power. Any hostile spell cast upon you has a 25% + your level chance of fizzling before harming you or anyone else.

97-99: Your very touch surges with holy power. Your unarmed strikes do 1d6 + your strength mod in damage and are considered magical for purposes of doing damage to certain types of creatures. Additional rolls of this result grant you a cumulative +1 to hit and damage with such attacks.

100: Reality itself is no match for your will to make the world better. You may once, pereform a great Miracle. This is equal in all ways to a Wizard's Wish spell except for the following caveats; this Miracle may only be used to save or assist others in some way and the Paladin's intent is considered when the Miracle is announced, as opposed to his way of asking for it.

Once the miracle is performed, the Paladin is officially a saint. 57

ANTI-PALADIN

The Rights of the Anti-Paladin;

Suffer not the weak, they are insult to your glory.

Deference is owed only to strength, and should be refused at the first sign of inferiority.

Passion, desire and drive are what makes humanity what they are. Deny any of these and become less than human.

Ethics and morality are but the lies of the lesser, made into philosophical shackles for those better than they. Those who support these falsehoods must be made to suffer.

No being can tell you from where those who become Anti-Paladins draw their strength. Though many of them become (temporary) servants of demons and dark gods, their inherent abilities are not infernal in nature. They stand in direct opposition of their benevolent twins; they are slaves only to their own lusts and ambitions.

It can be assumed that even a beginning Anti-Paladin has seen his fair share of violence and villainy. Each begins with the normal starting Hit points and Saving throws for whatever system you are using. At first level, roll a 1d100 twice and apply both results to your PC; Do the same for each time you level up. Do not forget that you also gain an additional hit die each level per normal. You will probably need them.

1-20: Violence is often the swiftest path to one's goal. Add +1 to your chance to hit in combat.

21-35: No lesser creature shall strike you down, nor will some paltry malady halt your march to fruition. Improve all of your saving throws by 1.

36 - 50: Others deny their vices, but you revel in them. You fancy a particular evil above the others however; Choose one of the following every time you result:

Cruelty - Wounds you make leave deep scars. Every time you do damage, at least one Hit point worth of it can only be healed naturally. Any attempts to use magic to heal the wound will simply leave the subject in unbearable pain, requiring a saving throw versus paralysis to act at all that round or not cry out.

Deceit - Your tongue is silver and words silk; you may lie with impunity and are immune to the effects of things like Zone of Truth. You may re-roll any failed attempt to deceive someone outright.

Pride - You think so highly of yourself that you won't here anything to the contrary. You receive a +4 bonus to any saves or tests when something tries to mentally or spiritually dominate you, and will probably react to such attempts with violence.

Despair - Your toxic words can fell even the most determined spirit. You may force anyone to re-roll any successful attempt as long as failure would have serious, negative (for the target) consequences. This option may be chosen more than once, granting you another forced re-roll each time. 58

Avarice - Greed may not be good, but it has given you much. Your equipment should always be as fine and decorated as possible and your bearing demands respect from the lowly. While you will be instinctively despised by the peasantry and other children of the earth, rich merchants and high nobility will take a liking to you - granting you any reasonable favors you might ask for.

51-53: There is nothing sweeter then the cries and blood of your enemies; you're blows are excruciating and brutal. You may roll two dice instead of one when rolling for damage, and choose the higher result. Further rolls of this result will grant you a cumulative +1 to your damage rules.

54-55: A supreme specimen of monstrous, chaotic or infernal nature has chosen to follow you out of interest, even condescending to fight with you or even serve as your mount. Your surprisingly strong will has bound the beast to your service and you may call it to you once a day, and remain in till your ordered task is complete. Large quadrupeds are the most common creatures for this purpose, but it can be anything approved by the GM with the following restrictions; It cannot have more than 1 hit die more than you. Any useful special ability it may have (Such as flight or a breath weapon) counts as one more hit die per ability for purposes of qualifying. Regardless of what it is, its thoughts are known to you and yours to it.

Rolling this additional times after the first means you may bind another creature, with your new level taken into consideration.

56-57: Attempts to catch you defenseless are as fruitless as pleas for mercy. You may nominate a favored weapon that you can call forth whenever you need it, regardless where it might be. Alternatively, you may forge a weapon out of your own dark desires; you decide the type when this is rolled, the weapon hits on a +1 and is considered unholy/magical for the purposes of dealing damage. Ranged weapons of this type may only be fired one every other round, since ammunition is formed only after a shot is fired. The weapon remains in till dismissed and can be summoned again instantly.

Rolling this any additional times will allow you to nominate or create another weapon independently of the first one.

58-59: The darkness will not betray you like others may. You gain the chance to Hide In Shadows and Move Silently (Or Stealth if the game you are using has that ability) equal to a thief of your experience level at the time this result is rolled. This ability is not hindered by armor of any kind.

If you roll this result again, simply adjust your chance to your match current experience level.

60-61: Woe to those who have earned your ire; once a day you may call down a terrible curse upon an enemy. The unfortunate may attempt to make a saving throw versus spell. If failed, they are hexed; this curse may either halve one ability score, or impose a -4 penalty to all ability, skill, to hit, or saving throw rolls, and it lasts for a number of days equal to the Anti-Paladin's hit dice. There is always some obvious and mortifying manifestation to curses granted in this manner. A person whose charisma has been halved may be suddenly covered in horrible boils, a nimble rogue robbed of their deftness may become flabby and immense or a mighty warrior's iron thews may shrivel with magically induced age.

Additional rolls with this result will allow you to attempt another curse a day.

62-63: No matter fine your exterior, inside your body writhes with numerous plagues and maladies - though none shall ever harm you, others may not be so lucky. Not only do you become immune to all forms of normal disease, you also gain the ability to once a day unleash them upon others. This may be performed by a touch or normal attack and is most terrible to watch - the cancer itself seeps from your skin and attempts to crawl into your victim. Unless they make a saving throw versus poison, they contract some horrible sickness as decided by your GM.

If you roll this result again, you are granted an additional chance to spread disease a day. 59

64-65: While being able to see their face is often fun, sometimes an unexpected attack is needed. When attacking someone from behind who didn't know you were coming, or at least truly believed you wouldn't do such a thing, you gain a +4 to hit and do double damage on a successful blow. Further rolls of this sort increase your damage modifier by one. (x2 - x3 - x4, etc)

66 - The Oracle managed to spit it out before she finally died and her bleating servants attested to the fact - some artifact of great power is sealed away somewhere close by. A black sword that consumes souls, a crown that dominates the minds of others or some other foul item (of your choosing, approved by the GM) that would please you mightily is a mere 2-3 sessions worth of adventure away.

67-69: Your countenance either belies your evil or announces it; your features contort and change to either make you an unearthly beauty or a hideous monster (As chosen by the player.) The former makes your allure undeniable, granting you a re-roll in any failed attempts to seduce, charm or persuade another party. The latter makes you unbearable to behold, granting a similar effect for intimidation or other bullying. Further rolls of this result grant you mutations that befit your new form; luminescent skin, wings, horrible claws or slitted eyes. The nature of these mutations are up to the GM, but should ultimately be useful in some way.

70-72: Creatures twisted by evil energy might as well be marionettes to you. You gain the ability to control undead or other foul creatures as a cleric equal to your current level. This requires you to cackle evilly, proclaim your superiority, or at least reaching out and pantomiming puppeteer motions. Further rolls on this table increase your commanding level by one.

73-74: You are quick to show others the folly of opposing you. Once a day you may smite a foe with an attack that receives a damage bonus equal to your hit dice total. The target must be defending someone weaker then them or have made their intent to hinder your current goal clear somehow. This blow counts as an unholy one for purposes of doing damage against other creatures, meaning it may be ineffective against demons or the undead.

Further rolls of this result gain you an additional attack of this type a day.

75-76: Your infamy has earned you the assistance of a small gang of minions; these are usually 1d4+2 1HD creatures (Goblins or Kobolds are the standard, but they can be something else if you desire and your GM approves.) The creatures are unwaveringly loyal thanks to not really knowing better and will follow your orders to the best of their ability. They will insist on calling you "Master" or sometimes "King" or "Queen" regardless of your apparent gender.

Rolling this again means you may increase the HD of each of these creatures by 1, or roll again for a new band of minions. Your minions can never have more HD than you do, however.

77-78: An angel pines for you, but its pleas for you to join the side of light have become weak. Eventually losing themselves, they will save your life or grant you one boon that is within their power when you whisper their name longingly. When this happens, you may either let them leave you forever in shame or attempt a charisma check. If you succeed, your darkness has enraptured them and they will lose their angelic status, becoming your mortal slave. If you fail, they will finally see you for what you truly are and attempt to destroy you once and for all. 60

79-80: You have learned something terrible about a well loved and influential personality. They may be a Duke, Merchant, Royalty or even a local divine force or presence. This dark secret maybe a past deed or secret vice they hide from everyone - for good reason; it is something you can use to torment or blackmail them.

81-88: When your will is strong enough, you may command forces beyond the understand of normal men. You may pick one spill from the cleric spell list that is no greater in level then half your own, at a minimum of one. You may cast this spell once a day. The spell will naturally be something that will aid you in your goals or cause someone else suffering. Additional results of this kind can be used to pick new spells, or allow you another use per day of a previously chosen spell.

89-90: Your wickedness is so great that even Hell will no longer take you. An hour after the time of your death, you shall rise again as a Undead creature. Your stats are virtually identical, save for you gain all the strengths, weakness and immunities that your unlife entails. If you are ever destroyed again, it is the end of you - your soul's own evil will rend itself apart and leave you to oblivion.

Further rolls of this type will allow you to choose a spell just like the previous entry, though it should be from the Wizard's spell list instead of the clerics. These spells may only be cast once you are undead.

91-92: You may spread the gifts of chaos wherever you go. Once a day you may attempt to spread corruption to a helpless (or willing) individual. They must make a saving throw versus death magic; failure means the subject gains 1d8 random mutations from your favorite table of this kind. A second saving throw must then be made, this time against spell - success means they are driven mad but retain their freedom. Failure means they are now under your control, and will do as you ask.

Corrupted creatures never heal, and are dead forever once they are brought to 0 hit points. A creature with higher HD than you succeeds the second save automatically.

93-94: Succor must be given or stolen, and you're not really in the giving business. Once a day, you may touch someone to drain (2 HP per your hit die total) from them and add it to your own. This may temporarily raise your HP above your maximum, but never more than twice that. You must make a successful attack roll to utilize this with an unwilling participant. Additional results of this kind grant you another chance to use this ability per day.

95-96: Magic is the primary tool of any number of detestable weaklings. Any hostile spell cast upon you has a 25% + your current level chance of fizzling before harming you or anyone else.

Additional rolls of this result recalculate your resistance according to your current level.

97-99: Your hands grow talons, turn to iron or sprout spines, making your unarmed strikes do 1d6 + your strength modifier in damage, as well as being considered magical for purposes of harming certain types of creatures. Additional rolls of this result grant you a cumulative +1 to hit and damage with such attacks.

100: Your vile words can poison reality itself. You may utter one, horrible Wish. This is equal in all ways to a the Wizard spell except for the following caveats; The wish may only be used to do something harmful or malign, and the Anti-Paladin's desire is considered when the Wish it declared, as opposed to the way they ask for it. 61

Once the wish is granted, the Anti-Paladin will forever be known to the gods as an enemy.

Lizardfolk Roll up stats and chose a class. Whenever you level up you can spend one or more of your rolls on this chart.

01 Nothing! It ain't easy being a lizard.... 02-11 +1 to hit 12-21 +1 to all saves 21-30 +1 damage 30-50 Your hide gets harder. +1 unarmored AC.

51-53 You get really good at climbing. Now you can now climb at normal speed without restriction on what you can wear or wield. Also you take half fall damage. Re-roll this result if you get it a second time.

54-56 Your scales sprout sharp spikes. Your non-weapon, non-spell attacks deal 1d4 extra damage and foes that hit you must save versus Breath Weapon to avoid your spikes or take the extra damage. Rolling this result again increases the damage to d6, then d8, and then d10. After that re-roll this result. 62

57-59 You gain an extra d6 hit points. If you roll this result again increase the hit points gained to d8, then d10, then d12, and finally d20.

60 Once per day you can transform into a crocodile for 1 turn (AC 14; HD 2; 1 Bite for 1d8 dmg). When you roll this result again you gain +1 to AC, HD, or damage for your croc-form. After rolling this result three times you can spend your +1 to add weird shit like flying wings or extra appendages.

61-63 Now you can consume the flesh of another creature to be imbued with the secrets of the flesh. Next time you encounter a creature of the same species as the one you devoured you'll learn their statistics (AC, HD, etc) and what they want, why they are here, etc. After that you lose all benefits. Rolling this result allows you to repeat the process again.

64-66 +1 Con. If your Con is already maxed out your size category increases by one increment. For example if you're Medium you are now Large. After a second size increase reroll this result.

67-69 Being struck in combat now has a chance of inducing a blood rage within you. Every time you're hit roll % and subtract the damage from the result. If it's 20% or less then you're officially in a blood rage. While blood-raged you can make a number of attack per round equal to your hit dice, dividing your to-hit bonus evenly, and you can move at running speed. Rolling this result again increases the chances by 5%.

70 The next time your party makes camp you can recount a tale passed down through your tribe from ancestors to ancestors. The people, places, and things featured in this tale are henceforth 100% factual and your GM must incorporate them into his or her setting. 63

71-73 Your Bite/Claw/Claw attack increases to 3d4 damage. Re-rolling this result increases the damage to 3d6 then 3d8. After that re-roll this result.

74-76 Your scales evolve to blend in with your surroundings. Once per day you can cast the invisibility spell on yourself for 1 turn. Re-rolling this result increases the duration by 1 turn.

77-79 You can shed your scales, effectively making a suit of armor with AC equal to your unarmored AC. Also if you have spikes, camouflage, or any other special abilities associated with your scales the suit gets those too. The shedding process takes a full day and your scales regrow after 1 week has passed. Re-rolling this result lets you do it again.

80 You can shed your tail to avoid one hit against you. It takes you 1 week to regenerate your lost tail. Re-roll this result if you get it a second time.

81-83 Your Bite attack is now imbued with your own naturally produced poisons. After a successful Bite attack your foe must make a Poison save or suffer the consequences. Re-roll this result if you get it a second time.

84-86 You can projectile launch streams of blood from your eyes like a horned toad at a cost of 6 hit points. Your foe must make a Poison save or be blinded (-6 to hit). Re-rolling this result gives your foes an additional -1 penalty to their save.

87-89 Your tail grows a club, giving you a bludgeoning attack for d6 damage. Whenever you hit with this Bludgeon attack your foe must make a Paralyze save or be knocked prone. Re-rolling this result increases the damage to d8 then d10. Afterwards re-roll this result.

90 You're really good at swimming. You can effectively hold your breath three times as long and swim as fast as you can walk/run. Re-roll this result if you get it a second time.

91-93 You're really good at running. You can move at running speed while being able to attack/interact normally. Additionally you can run over water for a distance equal to your walking speed before falling in if you get a 10 foot head start. Re-roll this result if you get it a second time. 64

94-96 Now you can regenerate lost limbs (arms, hands, legs, etc.) at a rate of 1 limb per week. If you have no lost limbs you regenerate 1 hit point every turn. Re-rolling this result increases the regeneration by 1 point.

97-99 Your jaw becomes larger and more alligator-like. Now any foe you hit with your Bite must make a Paralyze save or be pinned between your jaws. While in this state your foe takes a -2 to all actions except Poison and Magic saves and takes 1d4 crushing damage from your fierce grip every round. However your foe is allowed a save at the end of each round to escape your clutches. Re-rolling this result gives your foe an additional -1 penalty to their saves.

100 You enact the ancient Lizardfolk ritual of scale-inscribing. Through the use of an ink- mixture, your own blood, and a lot of drugs, you etch a rune into one of your scales giving it magical properties. In game terms you gain a random first level spell from a random spellcasting class that you can cast once per day. Re-rolling this result allows you to repeat the process.

THE HALF-ORC In order to play a half-orc roll up stats and pick one of the human classes: Warrior (fighter), Wizard (M-U), Thief, or Cleric. If you have at least a 9 in the Prime Requisite for the class and a Charisma score of 12 or less, you can opt to play a Half-Orc of that class. You can do the same for Zak's Barbarian class, but you need a Str and Con both of 9 or better.

Every time you are entitled to two or more rolls on the advancement charts, exchange one of those rolls instead for a roll on this chart. Initially, you won't be much different from a human of your selected class, because you get no starting half-orc abilities. But you will eventually grow into your half-orciness.

01 You get nothing. Being a half-orc really sucks sometimes.

02-25 You get better at fighting. +1 to-hit.

26-47 You get better at not dying. +1 to all saves.

48-52 You get better at taking a beating. +1d6 hit points.

53-66 If you belong to a spell casting class then you gain a spell slot as normal. If not, you gain the ability to tell enemy spellcasters to get bent: You can shrug off any one incoming magical attack or effect. If it is an area effect it can still affect others around you. This ability works just once.

67 Thick skull. Any time you would be knocked out by a blow to the head, killed by a head critical, etc., you get a saving throw versus Death Ray to avoid it. Reroll if you get this result again. 65

68-69 You lose one point of Charisma vis-a-vis humans, demihumans, faeries, angels, and other such good guys, but gain +2 points of Charisma when dealing with monsters and bad guys. E.g. if you had a 9 Cha and rolled this, your Charisma is now 8/11. If you drop below 3 Charisma you can no longer find any place in polite society. If you gain 18 Charisma with respect to monsters, you find yourself propositioned regularly by all sorts of horrible creatures. Reroll if this result would lower you to zero or raise you above 18.

70-71 Master of ambushes. Any time you have the advantage of surprise a natural to-hit roll of 20 will outright slay any foe that possesses internal organs/that is subject to critical hits. If you roll this again your 'ambush range' becomes 19-20, etc.

72 You can declare one magic weapon, shield, suit of armor, or helmet to be made by the Orc Wizard-Smiths of Old, providing the provenance of the item has not already been established. This item can now be used by orcs and half-orcs of any class and the DM must roll on the Miscellaneous Magic charts to give it additional powers that are only usable by such characters. You may make such a declaration only once. Reroll if you get this result again and have not used it yet.

73-74 The next time you fight a bunch of humanoids of bugbear size or less, you can recruit the sole survivor of the encounter . You know, that one remaining baddie that always causes arguments about whether to kill them or tie them up or whatever? That dude is now your loyal henchweenie. Use the fighter charts to track XP for them (assuming a 2 hit die gnoll is a 2nd level fighter, for instance), except for kobolds, xvarts, and goblins. Treat them as 1st level thieves. You can reuse this as many times as you reroll this result, up to your Cha limit for henchmen. Reroll this result after that.

75-76 Orcs are fierce. Orcs are violent. Orcs are mean. Orcs are also incredibly lazy. Any time you have to do a non-combat task more complicated than digging a ditch, make an Intelligence check to find a way to get it done for less effort. Reduce the time on task or the materials needed by 50%. Reroll if you get this result again.

77 You have found and mastered a legendary Orcish Double Axe. You may attack twice per round for normal battle axe damage each time, but at -2 to- hit for each attack. If rolled again, you lose the penalty. Reroll if you get this result a third time.

78-79 Where there's a whip, there's a way. Any time someone beats you with a whip, you take no damage. Instead, you become invigorated as if you had an 18 Constitution for purposes of initiating or staying on some arduous task. Reroll if you get this result again or if you already have an 18 Con.

80 Given an armful of old leather, scrap metal, and bits of wood, you can put together a suit of improvised armor. You need one turn to make the equivalent of standard leather armor, 6 turns to make the equivalent of 66

chain, and 3 days to make plate. Any sort of critical hit, a blow by something of giant strength, or a fall of greater than 10' shatters the armor. Reroll if you get this result again.

81-82 Half-orcs tend to make their way through the world by walking on the corpses of their friends. You may save your bacon from death, level drain, or any other imminent doom by allowing another PC to take the fall. This can be used in any situation where cleverness and treachery can be brought to bear. You can do this only once, but once is enough.

83-84 Your beady little eyes have adjusted to the gloom of dungeons. You gain 60' infravision. If you roll this again you gain +1 to any sort of search check (such as finding secret doors, locating traps) when in the twilight world below the surface. Reroll if you get this result a third time.

85 You're so resourceful and vicious in combat that nearly any object is a deadly weapon in your hands. It will do d6 damage with no to-hit penalty and can probably be thrown like a hand axe. Every time you do damage with it there is a 50% chance the item breaks. It will take you a whole round to retrieve another object. Reroll if you get this result again.

86-87 Once per session you can consume the flesh of any slain enemy except undead to regain d6 hit points. This horrid feast takes 1 turn and freaks out most non-orcish NPCs in the party. Increase die size to d8, d10, d12, and d20 with subsequent rolls. Reroll if you get this result again after that.

88 You get some wicked sick tattoos and/or ritual scarring. Humans, demihumans, and humanoids of bugbear size or smaller are -1 morale when facing you in melee. Other than orcs. They might dig the ink, but they aren't scared of it. Reroll if you get this result again.

89 You know how to talk to monsters. If you don't already know orcish, you gain that language. Otherwise pick any monster tongue.

90-91 Your hide grows thicker and maybe a little greener, too. +1 armor class.

92 You gain the ability to fashion a cup out of the skull of an enemy you have slain. This requires a sharp tool, 100gp in materials, and 8 hours of chanting. If you pour a potion into this cup then drink it, the duration of the potion is doubled. Instantaneous effects like healing are not altered in any way. If you pour poison into the cup you save at +2. The skull can be used a number of times equal to the hit dice of the creature. Half or partial hit dice don't count. (Only wimps drink from kobold skulls.) You may only 67

have one such cup at a time and the powers work for no one else save a blood relative. Reroll if you get this result again.

93-94 You gain +1 Con. If you already have max Con, add it to Strength instead. If you already have maxed out on both stats, then up yours. You get nothing.

95 Everyone knows that dungeon doors hold some sort of animus against surface dwellers. That's why monsters seem to be able to open them easily but PCs have to roll. You confuse doors. +1 to Open Door rolls. Reroll if this would take you past a 5 in 6 chance to open.

96-97 Your let your wild side out. Roll on the Barbarian chart. If you already are a Barbarian, roll twice and take your pick of the two.

98-99 Those fangs aren't just for show. Once per combat you may surprise a foe with a bonus bite attack. You get +2 to hit and do d4 damage (plus Str bonus, if any). Reroll if you get this result again.

100 The taint of chaos grows inside you. Roll on a handy random mutation chart.

The Half-Elf To play a half-elf you must roll at least a 9 Charisma. You must then make... the Choice of Elrond and Elros [insert dramatic musical sting here].

Option 1: a humanish elf

If you have at least an Intelligence of 9, you may opt to play using the Elf class as your basis. Build a normal first level Elf. Every time that you level up you will make one random advancement roll for every spell slot you would gain under the standard BX-type rules. Here's the deal though: the first advancement roll you make for each new level must come from the random chart for any human class of your choice.

If you add a spell slot from the Cleric chart (or any other non- MU spellcaster chart), then you gain spell slots for that class. By rolling on the cleric chart, you're signalling that your PC has found religion in much the same way that choosing the Anti- Paladin chart would say something important about your character.

If your new level entitles you to more than one spell slot, make all additional advancement rolls past the first one on the Elf charts. 68

Option 2: an elfish huma Pick any human class as your base. Your are that class for all intents and purposes, save when you are entitled to a random advancement roll. Your first roll each new level must come from the Elf advancement chart. Subsequent rolls use your normal class chart. If the Elf chart grants you a spell slot and your base class doesn't use spells, follow the progression for the Elf class. I.e. your first such roll gets you a first level Elf spell. Your third grants you a second level spell. The first time that happens, you get whatever sort of starting spellbook your are entitled to under your ruleset and add spells as normal. Note that Half-elves made under this option do not speak Elvish unless they take it as a bonus language due to Int, are vulnerable to ghoul paralysis, can be slept/charmed, and must follow the armor & spell rules of their base class.

The Gnome 69

To play a gnome you need to have both Int and Con of at least 9. You use d6 for hit dice and use the halfling chart for XP. Like halflings, you are limited to 8th level (suck it up, that's how BX rolls). Your initial saves are as an Elf 1. You can wear any armor and there's a 50% chance that magic armor sized for halflings or dwarves will fit you. Weapons allowed: hand axe, shortbow, light crossbow, dagger, shortsword, club, sling, spear, warhammer. You speak gnomish and common initially, can listen at doors on a 2 in 6, and have 60' infravision. If you can get your sorry gnomish butt past first level then each time you level up you may roll d6 more hit points and make two throws on this chart:

01 Roll on the Elf chart instead. If you get the "gain a spell slot" result, treat it as 26-40 below. 02-18 You get more fighty, +1 to-hits. 19-23 You gain +1 to all saves. 24 You gain d4 more hit points. 25 Gain a language, roll d6: 1) dwarf, 2) elvish, 3) goblin, 4) hafling, 5) orc, 6) svirfneblin. If you end up here again and roll the same language you are now so eloquent in that tongue that all reaction rolls are +1 when using it with native speakers. Reroll subsequent rolls of the same language. Reroll if you collect all six twice. 70

26-40 You gain a random 1st illusionist spell as a daily power. On subsequent rolls you get a second level spell, then a third, etc. (For a source of illusionist spells, I like the 1st edition Player's Handbook & Unearthed Arcana or Best of Dragon vol. 1) Reroll this result if you actually gain one spell of each level through 7th. 41-50 The first time you roll this you gain all the skills of a first level thief. Ever subsequent roll advances your thievery by one level. Note that you can only sneak and climb while wearing no armor, leather, studded leather, or ring mail. 51-52 You get additional training with a traditional gnomish weapon. Roll d8 for weapon type. 1. warhammer - If you roll maximum damage against a foe with platemail, a shield, or a chitinous shell, you then also reduce their AC by d3 points as you bust up their armor. 2. crossbow - Your crit range improves by one. 3. shortsword - Your ability to parry grants you +2 ac versus melee opponents of man size or smaller 4. spear - +1 to hit and damage 5. shortbow - You may fire two arrows per round of combat. 6. club - Thanks to secret Gnome Fu you can hurt creatures normally only struck by magic weapons. 7. sling - You do triple damage against ogres, trolls, giants, and titans. 8. gnome hooked hammer - You can make one bludgeon attack for d6 and one piercing attack for d4 each round or a single trip attack at +2 to-hit. (One of these babies costs 20gp new, by the way)

If you roll this result again, you can collect additional weapons training, but reroll the d8 if you get the same result a second time. Reroll this result after you have all 8.

53-55 You've got the tinker gnome thing going. You adventure with half a backpack full of gears and springs and steampunk nonsense and a bunch of tools on your belt. Once per session you can build a contraption of some sorts to solve a problem (open a door or chest, set up a diversion for an ambush, or darn near anything that a smallish machine might be able to accomplish). It will generally do its job but there is a 1 in 6 chance that it goes horribly awry. Reroll if you get this result again. 56 You can't kid a kidder, as my uncle Jim used to say. Once per session you can attempt to disbelieve an illusion so hard that it is completely dispelled, no roll required. However, if you try to disbelieve something that is real, you must save versus paralyzation or be stunned d3 rounds. 71

57-58 +1 Intelligence. If you already have max Int, gain +1 Wis instead. If you have max Wis as well, then you get nothing. Do not reroll. 59-60 Stone Lore. Underground you can detect slanting passages, traps, shifting walls, and new construction 2 in 6. Subsequent rolls of this item increases it to 3 in 6, then 4 in 6, finally 5 in 6. Reroll after that. 61 Goblin Loathing. You are +2 to hit against goblins and +1 versus other goblinoid creatures (hobgoblins and bugbears, for instance). If you roll this again you also gain +2/+1 damage. Reroll the third and subsequent rolls of this item. 62 That big nose ain't just for show. You're only surprised 1 in 6 thanks to your advanced sense of smell. Does not help against noncorporeal undead, ethereal or astral monsters, and other immaterial foes. If you roll this a second time, you can now smell those jerks as well. Reroll after that. 63-66 Giant Fighter. Against any anthropomorphic foe of at least gnoll or bugbear size you are +4 AC. If you roll this again you gain the ability to knock such foes prone anytime you get the maximum result on your damage dice. Reroll this result after that. 67 Once per session you can get out your gemcutting tools (cost 100gp, takes up half a backpack) and re- cut a gem to attempt to improve it's value. Roll a d12. If you get a 1-2 you succeed. If you get a 12 you shatter the gem. 3-11 no effect. Upon a successful roll a gem of 10gp value or less becomes worth 50gp. A gem of up to 50gp value becomes worth 100gp. Up to 100gp become 500gp. Up to 500gp becomes 1,000gp. Up to 1,000gp becomes 5,000gp. You cannot attempt to improve a gem worth more than 1,000gp. If you roll this a second time your success rate improve to 1-3 on d12. If you roll a third time you now roll a d20, 1-5 improves but you only shatter the gem on a 20. This is all about resale value, you do not get more XP for the improved gem. 68-70 You gain the knowledge of d6 arcane cantrips of your choice (I recommend using either the 1st edition Unearthed Arcana or Uncle Gary's original cantrips articles in Dragon #59 and #60.) You can cast 3 cantrips per day, no memorization required. On subsequent rolls of this item you gain d6 more cantrips to choose from, but do not get more uses per day. 71-73 You can speak to normal, giant sized, and enchanted burrowing mammals (such as badgers and rabbits). If you roll this a second time you gain the ability to speak to any mammal. Reroll this result after that. 74 Your infravision increases to 90'. Reroll if this result comes up again. 75-77 Kobold Hate. +1 to-hit, +1 damage, and one additional melee attack when fighting kobolds. Also, you get double XP for kobolds slain (but not captured or routed). Each subsequent roll of this grants you +1 to-hit, damage, and another attack, but the XP multiplier increases to triple, then quadruple, etc. 78 If you don't already, you start wearing one of those pointy red hats (10gp new). Here's why (roll d6): 1. Once per session, when you need a piece of standard dungeoneering equipment you don't have, you just happen to have one under your hat. Even something that doesn't fit, like a 10' pole. 72

2. Once per session you can pull a random 1st level wandering monster out of your hat. They will obey you for d6 turns, even doing wildly suicidal things if you so command them. Upon death or the d6 turns elapsing they disappear in a poof of smoke. 3. Once per session you can take off the hat and use it to negate an incoming spell attack. The target must be you personally, an adjacent ally, or you must be standing in the area of effect. The hat ingests the spell effect then lets out a small burp. Touch spells are unaffected. 4. Once per session you can fill the hat with 100 coins (no more, no less) of the same type, hold it closed, and give it a good shake. When you pour them out, d100 of the coins will have transformed into the next most valuable currency (copper become silver, silver become gold, gold becomes platinum, platinum becomes 10gp gems). If you take 1 turn on the second or lower level of a dungeon to do this, the transformation will affect the XP earned from the session. However, there is a 1 in 6 chance that the hat eats the coins instead. 5. Once per session if you face a creature with a gaze attack, the hat suddenly grows two sizes and falls over your eyes. You do not need to save to avoid the gaze, but you are blind and can't remove the hat until the encounter is over, at which time it returns to normal size. 6. Once per session you can avoid some sort of instadeath situation by sacrificing the hat. You avoid the dragons breath but the hat is incinerated, the assassins poisoned crossbow bolt nails the hat to the wall, etc.

Each time you roll this item you may collect a new hat effect, but you may not duplicate the d6 results. Reroll this item if you somehow collect all six and end up here again.

79 Hench-illusion. You gain a henchman of unusual type (Seriously, go wild. Work with your DM to bust out something really ridiculous.) who is completely loyal. However, if they are ever subject to a dispel magic, dispel illusion, or are successfully disbelieved by a foe they evaporate instantaneously, for they never actually existed. 80-82 You gain +2 saves versus any magical effect. On subsequent roll this becomes +4, +6, etc. 83 Peacemaker. According to legend it was the gnomes who first got the dwarves and elves to sit down and hash out their differences. Assuming you have a means of communication with both parties, you may negotiate a fair and honorable peace between any two warring parties, from squabbling spouses up to feuding intergalactic civilizations. Except kobolds, because fuck those guys. If you can get both parties in a room together, this process takes d6 hours. Otherwise, the limits of local communications technologies become a factor. The peace will hold for d100 years. You may do this only once. 84-86 You get a pet. Roll d4. 1. Badger. Ac 4, Move 60' (swim 30'), HD 1+2, claw/claw/bite d2/d2/d3 2. Giant badger. Same as above but man-sized. HD 3, d3/d3/d6 3. Wolverine. Ac 5, Move 120', HD 3, d4/d4/d4+1, +4 to-hit due to surliness, if anyone attacks its rear they get a skunk-like musk attack, save or be blinded d8 hours, even if saved they are 50% Str and Dex for 2d4 turns 4. Vorpal Bunny. Ac 0, Mv leap 120', HD 3, damage d6, crits on 18+ If you roll this a second time and your prior pet(s) is still alive, then you get another of the same. Otherwise reroll if this result comes up again. 73

87-88 You're a bit of a tinker gnome back home in your workshop. You've devised some sort of fairly reliable device that you carry with you on adventures. Work with your DM to figure out what it is and how it works. Whatever other details you arrive at, every time you use it there is a flat 1 in 6 chance of catastrophic failure. 89-90 Gain a 1st level Illusionist spell of your choice as a daily power. On subsequent rolls you get a second level spell, then a third, etc. (For a source of illusionist spells, I like the 1st edition Player's Handbook & Unearthed Arcana or Best of Dragon vol. 1) Reroll if you actually gain one spell of each level through 7th. 90-91 If you attempt to put on, use, or otherwise activate a cursed item, you get a save versus Magic to avoid the curse, as you get a tingling sensation just before you fall for it. 92-93 In any situation where the floor, wall, or ceiling of an underground location is unsafe, you have a 4 in 6 chance of detecting the problem in time to give you an action to save yourself and any other gnomes in the party. If you roll a 1 you can warn non-gnomes in time as well. Reroll if this result comes up again. 94-95 Amateur Alchemist. You start each new adventure with a homemade potion of random type. However, when they are used (not tested) there is a 1 in 6 chance the recipe isn't quite right. Roll on the Potion Miscibility Table (1s edition DMG page 199) to see what happens, rolling another random potion if necessarily to adjudicate the miscibility results. If you roll this result again you start with an additional random potion. 96 You have built a good ol' fashioned Gnomish Battle Harness. It's like that thing Ripley fights the Alien queen with, but all steampunky. While using it you are effectively human-sized, wearing platemail, have an 18 Str, and 5x current level additional hit points. You also halve your dexterity while wearing/using it. You can pop out of it in one round, but it takes a whole turn to strap yourself back in. The extra hitpoints cannot be healed, but you can repair d6 points with a day of work and at a cost of d100gp in materials. 97-98 If you find a magic item that is a gem or has a gem set in it and the provenance of the item is unknown, you may declare it to be/contain one of the Lost Gnomish Gems of Power. The item is now usable by any gnome (Unless it's like a two-handed sword of something. Don't be a clod about this.) and it has additional powers only usable by gnomes. Roll d4 spells of level d6, generated from any spell list handy. If the spell is 3rd level or lower, it is a 3x a day power. Higher level spells become daily powers. (You can and should ask the DM if any encountered magic item has a gem set in it. If the DM doesn't know, they should give a flat 1 in 6 chance of it being so, except for potions and scrolls and other wildly inappropriate items to bejewel. Again, don't be a clod.) You may do this only once. 99 +1 Constitution. If you already have max Con, gain +1 Dex as well. If you already have max Dex too then you get nothing. 00 Roll on the Dwarf chart instead. 74

Red Dragon Fighting Society

If you can find one of Archduke Jackal's rogue dojos and have a thousand gold pieces burning a hole in your pocket, then you too can learn the exquisite art of kicking butts and taking names. After completing the initial training, you get one roll on the table below. And you get a cool embroidered patch like the one pictured in the ad, suitable for sewing onto your denim jacket or wizard hat. Displaying the patch gets you +1 reaction rolls from fellow Society members, but -1 reactions from other monks and martial artists, who tend to view the Archduke as a huckster ruining the reputation of the fighting arts by half training a bunch of dangerous amateurs.

After the initial training, you may also use this table any time you level up in lieu of one (just one) of your normal advancement rolls.

01 You get nothing. Maybe this Kung Fu stuff is bullshit after all.

02-15 You get better at fighting: +1 to hit in melee only.

16-19 You toughen up: +1 on all saves.

20-24 You learn the art of being punched and not flinching: +1d6 hit points.

25-28 You get some basic weapon training. Roll d6 for the particular weapon.

1. dagger 2. hand axe 3. polearm (choice of polearm if that matters in your game) 4. spear 5. staff 6. club

You get a damage bonus with the weapon rolled equal to your level. If you don't have basic proficiency with the weapon, then you gain that but only get half your level (round up) as a damage bonus. Should you roll this again and the d6 turns up with the same weapon, your damage bonus advances to your new level. 75

29 Anime Leap. If at the start of combat the distance to your nearest foe is 10 to 30 feet away and the ceiling is at least 10 foot high, you can leap/charge at your foe. If you hit, they take triple damage. If that kills them, any friends of theirs must make an immediate morale check. Reroll if you get this result again.

30 You get stronger. +1 Strength, up to your racial max or the max in your system. Reroll if you are already at maxxed out Str.

31-38 Your unarmed attacks become deadlier, following this progression d4, d6, d8, d10, d12 damage. Reroll after you get to d12. If you want to be any deadlier than that with your fists, then you should have became a proper Monk.

39 You get some exotic weapon training and a set of weapons to go with.

1. Pair of Sais: attack twice per round (no penalty), damage as per daggers, +1 AC for each sai (i.e. +2 AC when using the pair.) 2. Pair of Nunchucks: attack twice per round (no penalty), damage d6 each, but if you roll a natural 1 to-hit you whack yourself 3. Advanced Quarterstaff Technique: You get d4-1 staff attacks per round, if you roll a zero you spend the round parrying instead, +3AC when that happens 4. Katana, motherfucker! If you wear no armor and use no shield it does d20 damage! Holy shit! Under any other circumstances it is just a sword. 5. Shuriken. Each one has the range of a thrown dagger and does d3 damage, but you can throw as many in a round as your level plus Dex bonus (min 1). You get the family pack of 20 throwing stars. 6. Chainwhip thingy: d6 damage, melee with foes up to 15' away, pull Indiana Jones style whip tricks

If you roll this result more than once, reroll the d6 until you collect all six skills. After that, reroll the percentage dice if you get this result again.

40 You become more nimble. +1 Dexterity, up to your racial max or the max in your system. Reroll if you are already at maxxed out Dex.

41-44 You are getting good at spotting opportunities for kicks and punches. Any round you are in melee, roll a d6. On a 1 you get an extra unarmed strike. When you roll this again, increase the range for extra attacks. E.g. someone who has rolled this 3 times has a 3 in 6 chance of getting an extra unarmed strike each round. Some cheater who has rolled this 7 times always get an extra strike each round and has a 1 in 6 chance of getting another one. 76

45-46 You know how to roll with the fall. You take no damage from falls of 10' or less, including getting knocked down in combat, throws from horses, etc. You take half damage from falls of up to 30' feet. Additional rolls of this item add 10' to the no damage range and 15' to the half damage range.

47-48 Ghost Punch Style. Your unarmed attack can affect creatures that are only vulnerable to silver or cold iron. If you roll this again, you can punch creatures that need +1 or better magic weapons to harm them. A third roll allows you to pummel monsters needing +3 or better as well as ethereal and otherwise nonmaterial foes. Reroll this result after the third roll.

49 You become hardier. +1 Constitution, up to your racial max or the max in your system. Reroll if you are already at maxxed out Con.

50-51 Dang, you're fast. +10'/round to your base movement.

52 Your devotion to kung fu brings you closer to the natural world. You can speak with animals once per day. You may have one question-and-answer exchange for each level of experience you possess. Reroll if you get this result again.

53-54 Under a situation where you can save for half damage and dodging could be the reason why, you instead take one quarter damage when you save. If you roll this again, a save now indicates no damage. Rolled a third time and a failed save does only half damage to you. Reroll if this item comes up a fourth time.

55 The inner machinations of your mind have been transformed into a beautiful lotus jewel, dazzling to others. Any time someone tries to read your mind or use any psionic funny stuff on you, there is a flat 50% chance it will fail. Reroll this result if it comes up again.

56-58 Any time you make a successful unarmed attack against a foe with a functional brain and the to hit roll is 19 or better, they are stunned for d6 rounds. Every time you roll this, the stun range becomes one wider, going to 18+, then 17+, etc.

59-60 You reflexes become catlike. When the surprise dice indicate the baddies have the drop on you, you get a Wisdom roll to act anyway. Reroll this result if it comes up again.

61-62 Crouching Tiger, Hidden Parkour. One a successful Dex check you may run up to 30' straight up a wall and over obstacles and junk. Reroll this result if it comes up again. 77

63 Hadoken! You can now summon and shoot blue balls of kung fu energy. The range is 60' and they do 2d6 damage to one target. It takes a full round of spellcaster-like concentration to summon one and you have to roll to-hit. +1d6 damage for each subsequent reroll of this item.

64-65 You so regulated your metabolism that neither haste nor slow spells affect you any more.

66 The next time you score a critical hit (or natural 20 to-hit if your DM doesn't use crits) you may opt to rip out your opponent's heart and show it to them before they die. You may do this only once. Obviously, this will only work on certain kinds of creatures.

67-68 Mr. Miyagi hands. You may heal yourself or someone else once per day for d6 hit points, though critical strikes and other special effects are not cured. Subsequent rolls increase the die size of the healing to d8, d10, d12, d20. Reroll this result after that.

69-79 Ki shout. Once per session you may begin a combat by shouting "Hi-YAH!" or some other nonsense. The enemy must make an immediate morale check. The roll is at -1 if you have just charged them. Reroll this result if it comes up again.

80 Elegant Step. When you opt to exit melee no one gets any sort of back attack as you withdraw. Reroll this result if it comes up again.

81-82 Now you are the sensei. You may train all your henchmen in any one other thing you have rolled on this chart. Reroll if you are rolling on this chart for the first time or otherwise have nothing to pass on.

83-85 Trip and throw specialist. Any time you roll the exact number you needed to hit a foe in melee, they are also thrown to the ground, provided they are no larger than man-sized. If there is a ledge or vat of acid or something handy, you can make a Dex roll to drop them into it. Roll this result again and you can throw anything ogre-sized or smaller. A third roll allows you to throw any foe smaller than the universe. Reroll after that.

86 Pick an object, any object that is not normally thought of as a weapon and wouldn't normally do a lot of damage. A quill, for instance. Or a spoon. That kind of object now does d8 damage in your hands. Pick another object if you roll this again.

87-88 Shattering strike. Once per session you can punch any single, non-magical wooden object to a gazillion splinters. Great for that one dungeon door no one can open. Roll again and you can also do that with non-magical metal or stone. Rolled a third time and you can affect magical objects as well. Reroll this result after that. 78

89 Stooge Fu: Once per combat you can do the ol' double eyepoke. If you hit the foe takes normal unarmed damage and is incapacitated for d4 rounds. Doesn't work on anything you can't eyepoke, either due to lack of eyes, too many eyes, or too widely spaced eyes. Reroll this result if it comes up again.

90-92 You may bat away normal non-magical thrown and missile attacks by saving versus petrification. If you roll a 20 for the save, you snatch the weapon out of the air and throw it back for an immediate counter-attack. Cool! One a second roll of this item, you can also bat away catapult rock and giant-thrown stones, etc. Reroll this result if it comes up again after that.

93 Kip Up. Any time you are prone you may make a Dex check to stand up and still act in that round. Reroll this result if it comes up again.

94 Inner Peace. By meditating you can rest and recuperate twice as fast as normal.

95-97 You get better at dodging blows. Your AC is +1 when unarmored. Each subsequent roll you can opt for another point of AC or expand it to include leather, then chain, then plate. By multiple rolls you can eventually end up with +5 unarmored, +3 in leather, +2 in chain, or +1 in platemail. Past that, reroll if this result comes up again.

98 Omae Wa Mou Shindeiru. After any successful unarmed strike you may declare the foe "already dead." They then take your choice of the worse (higher) of two d20 rolls in damage or your pick from two throws on your DM's handy crit chart. You may do this just once.

99 Crane Strike. Once per combat you can spend a whole round entering the Crane Stance. Your next unarmed strike is against Ac9 [10], no matter what sort of armor or Dex the foe possesses. Only Ac bonuses from cover or concealment apply.

100 You grow more wise. +1 Wisdom, up to your racial max or the max in your system. Reroll if you are already at maxxed out Wis. If you ever reach 18 Wisdom using this method of advancement, you realize this whole amateur chop socky scene is a bit rubbish and you may never use this chart again. 79

Gnome Wrestler If you travel to the pocket dimension known as Vyzor, you can find THUNDERGNOMEThundergnome in the Gnome Quarter, north-east of the Castle of the Blue Sorcerer. Gnomes can train with the few remaining masters of the gnomish grappling arts. Non-gnomes can pay a fee of 500gp for the opportunity. Orcs and half- orcs need not apply.

Unlike Red Dragon kung fu (above) you do not get a free roll on the chart below. You may substitute a roll on this chart for one of your normal advancement rolls no more than once per level advancement.

01 Your Really know how to take the heat out of a room: Your Charisma drops by -2.

02-15 Master of Ring Psychology: You gain a +1 to attack rolls.

16-19 Say Your Prayers and Take Your Vitamins: Your saves improve by 1.

20-24 Paying Your Dues: Gain an additional +1d6 HP.

25-28 Face: The people are behind you and your dedication to you ideals (gods and country, honor, drinking lots of beer). You get a +2 on reaction roles because you are so likeable.

29 Baby Face: You stand for everything that is right and good in this world. Moms love you (+2 on reaction rolls with Lawful beings). Bad guys hate you (-2 to reaction rolls with Chaotic beings) but you are great at beating them up. Your bare hands are treated as magical weapons when fighting Chaotic entities like demons or dragons or whatever. You alignment is Lawful (or just changed to it if it wasn’t before).

30 You are Over: Due to a minor change in your gimmick, people now love you. Your Charisma increases by +1.

31-38 Big Finisher: Once per combat, you can attempt your signature move known for giving your opponents the old K.O. Spend one round preparing for the move, then make an melee attack at a bonus equal to your level. On a hit, in addition to damage, the target must Save vs. Death or be stunned for 1d4 rounds. 80

39 Flashy Move: You really know how to sell a highly infectual move like an elbow drop or slow but high kick to the face. Attack by rolling a d20 modified by Charisma. On a hit, your opponent takes 1d3 damage and must make a Save vs. Paralysis or lie prone on the ground 1d4 rounds. On a reroll, the time prone increases to by an additional 1d4 rounds. It maxs out at 3d4 rounds.

40 Aerial Wrestler: Your Dexterity goes up by +1.

41-44 From the Top Rope: From an elevated position, you perform a highflying maneuver in your opponent. On a successful attack roll, they take 1d6 damage from every 10ft. you jumped plus they are now prone. If you roll a natural 1 on the attack, your opponent catches you instead.

47-48 High Risk Wrestler: You hurl your body at your opponents with reckless abandon. Upon declaring an attack, you can choose to do an additional +1d4 damage to your target taking half yourself. On a reroll, it increased to +1d6 damage and on a third roll it maxs out at +1d8 damage.

49 Submission wrestler: Your Constitution goes up by +1.

50-51 Submission move: You know how to lock up your opponents in positions that will break them. On a successful attack, you capture a foe one size bigger than you or smaller in an incredibly painful position. This is instead of damage. Each subsistent round the submission hold is held, the foe makes a Constitution contest versus your Strength. If they succeed three times, the make free of the hold. If you succeed three times, they must made a morale check. On a failure, they surrender. Each round after, they must keep making Constitution and morale checks until either they are free or have surrendered or the hold has ended. 81

52 You’ve Gone Up a Weight Class: Your Strength goes up by +1.

53-54 Stiff Worker: Your melee attacks gain +1 to damage but your Charisma drops by -2 because you’re a dick that no one likes to work with.

55 You’re a real heel: You besmirch their hometown. You trash-talk their favorite sports teams. You hate on their moms and insult their intelligence level. Once per fight, on a successful Charisma check, you give your enemies a -2 to morale checks with your vicious crowd work.

56-58 Skilled on the mic: You know how to cut a wicked promo. Once per day, you can make a creature make a new reaction roll to change its disposition to you.

59-60 This Mic Is A Pipe Bomb: You know how to cut a promo that makes your foes lose it. Once per session, drop some vicious taunts and your enemies have to make a morale check. If they fail, they stop what they are doing to attack you. If they succeed, their morale is -2 until the end of battle.

61-62 Hardcore Style: You treat improvised weapons like they are weapons your class can use and get a +1 to hit with them. On a reroll, their damage die goes up by one. On a three roll, large ones (like a table or chair), stun your opponent if they fail a Save vs. Paralysis roll.

63 Street Brawler: Your true schooling was on the streets and alleyways of Vyzor. Your unarmed attacks are +1 to hit and do 1d4 damage. On a second roll, it becomes a +2 to hit and 1d6 to damage. On a third roll, you can throw your opponent and do damage at the same time.

64-65 International Object: You have mastered the art of secreting objects to use against your opponents in a fight. Once per combat, make a bonus attack with something like a chair or barbwire or a training sword that you get from seemingly nowhere. The object does 1d4 damage. On a second roll, the object either does 2d4 damage or 1d4+stuns your opponent for 1 round. 82

66 A real slobber knocker: You know how to tie up an opponent in one-on-one exchange of blows. If you are facing each other solo and hit in consecutive successful exchanges of blows, your and your opponents damage increases in a chain (+1d3, +1d4, +1d5) maxing out at +1d6.

67-68 Low Blow: After an opponent has successfully hit you with an attack, on your next attack you can choose to take a cheap shot like a hit to the groin or a poke in the eyes. On a successful hit, your opponent must make a save versus paralysis or they send the next 1d4 rounds reacting and doing nothing else. This attack does no damage.

69-79 Kick out: Once per session, on a successful Constitution check you are able to reroll one save immediately.

80 “Woo!”: You manage your pain by exclaiming, “Woo!” on a hit. A number of times a session equal to your Charisma modifier (minimum 1), you can strug off damage from a non-magical attack by choosing to become stunned for 1 round instead.

81-82 Whip: On a successful attack, your opponent moves their full movement past you. If they reach a barrier like a wall or door or ropes, they must move back your direction to finish their move. If they reach you, you get a free extra melee attack.

83-85 Distracted Ref: The DM had something in their eye. Reroll a failed roll once per campaign.

86 Mist Attack: A strange colored mist, water, beer; pick one. You spit a spray of it into your opponent's face blinding them for 1d4 rounds on a successful range attack. If they fail a Save vs. Breath Weapon, you get a free follow-up melee attack.

87-88 Wrestle Above Your Weight Class: You can attack, grapple, etc. opponents a size bigger than you normally should be able to (example: a small Gnome can grapple a large Ogre).

89 Hulk-out: You feed off the strength of your rapport with your audience. A number of times per session equal to your Charisma bonus (minimum of one), after combat has started, you can spend 1d4 rounds building up energy with the “crowd.” Afterwards, you get damage reduction/2 until the end of combat.

90-91 Surprise Entrance: You have really mastered how to make an unexpected appearance that grabs everyone’s attention. As a surprise action, you make an flashy entrance that leaves opponents gobsmacked. For 1d4+Charisma bonus rounds (or after your first attack whichever comes first), their only action is looking around in amazement with their mouth hanging open.

92 Run-In: Once per campaign, an ally of yours makes an unexpected appearance in a fight you are in from out of nowhere. They stay for 1d4 rounds to attack an opponent before running off and vanishing. 83

93 Stunner: You drop your opponent with a move that leaves them stunned. Once per combat, on a successful attack you can choose to force your opponent to make a saving throw versus paralysis instead of doing damage. On a failed save, they are paralyzed for 1d4 rounds. On a reroll, you gain to immediately perform a second stunner on a new opponent after making a successful one.

94 Tune Up The Band: You spend 1d4 rounds playing to the other characters present, granting you an increase in die size for damage on your next attack equal to the number of rounds:

1 round = +1d3 damage

2 rounds= +1d4 damage

3 rounds= +1d6 damage

4 rounds= +1d8 damage

94 Halls of Vyzor/The Cave Crab: On a successful melee attack, opponent makes a Save vs Death/Poison. On a success, their speed drops by -10ft. for 1 round. On a failure, their speed drops by -10ft. and the act last in a combat round until the end of combat.

95-97 Valet: You have a fiercely loyal 0-Level assistant with a morale of 12. On a reroll, your valet can distract one enemy for 1 round per combat.

98 Match Stipulation: Your enemy hates your guts and is ready to kill you? How about, instead, you throw out a new goal (as an example: whoever losses is banned from stepping foot into the dungeon or the loser serves the winner for a year) which reframes the whole immediate conflict. You can do this once per campaign.

99 Tinker Bell Spot: The fans really believe in you. Once per game, after you have failed a saving throw or hit 0hp, make a Charisma check. On a success, you kick back with 1hp or negativing the effect of the failed save.

100 Change of gimmick: You have been given a new angle in order to try to get over better. Reroll all your HP, taking the new total for your max HP. Also, pick a new alignment. 84 85

PANDIMENSIONAL VAGABOND

Walkers among worlds gain stranger powers during their uncanny peregrinations. To qualify to roll below, the character must have participated in adventures in at least three different dimensions/planes/campaign worlds, including their homeworld. This random advancement chart may be used as a one-off substitution for a single normal advancement roll. To use it again, you must adventure in a previously unvisited world, level up afterwards, and sacrifice a roll on another chart. Note that several items on this chart assume that your crazy dimension- hopping PC has some undocumented, noncanonical adventures between your known exploits. 01-03 You gain an extra d8 hit die but you must reroll it every time you visit a new campaign world/plane/dimension. 04-05 You gain +3 saves versus any sort of energy attack that isn't one of the four Greek elements (i.e. fire/heat, air/wind, water/cold, or earth). Reroll if you get this result again. 06 You've gotten really good at first aid. If immediately after combat you bind wounds, you can heal d4 damage to a number of people equal to your level. 07-09 You know what surprised you the most about travelling between universes? A whole lot of Creation really stinks. No, literally. You are now +4 saves versus reek attacks like stinking cloud, ghast farts, troglodyte B.O., etc. 10-11 You've been in barroom brawls in all the trashiest universes. You may make 2 unarmed strikes per round for d3 damage each. If you roll a 19+ your foes must save versus paralyzation or be knocked out cold. 12 Seeing how big the universe is tends to make a lot of human conflicts seem petty. You gain +1 Wisdom and your alignment shifts one step closer to true neutrality. You do not lose any class abilities due to this change. If you are already true neutral, you gain +2 Wis. 13-15 Smug know-it-all: Once per session after another PC has blown some non-combat roll of some sort you may attempt to do the exact same thing, but with a +2/+10% to the roll. You may do this with things anyone can do, like listening at doors, but you may also attempt specialty skills you don't even have, like disarming traps.

16-17 You know the basics of piloting/operating some kind of vehicle. You can bank this knowledge until you need it, then announce with a grin "Sure, I know how to fly a T-16 Skyhopper!" or whatever. 19-20 You don't survive the cosmos by paying retail. Once per session you may make a purchase at 75% of list price. 21-23 You've knocked back so many Pangalactic Gargle Blasters in filthy dives across the multiverse that you are now +2 to save versus any ingested poison. Rerolls of this increase the bonus by an additional +2. 24-25 Once per session when you have to make a die roll where only sheer dumb luck is involved (i.e. no modifiers for skill or items or anything else), you may take the better of two rolls. 26 You can see the cracks in the structures of individual universes, allowing you to dimension door once per session. 86

27-28 Before someone near you does something that will rip a hole in the fabric of reality, you get a Wisdom check to recognize what a Very Bad Idea it is. Reroll if you get this result again. 29-31 You gain a random mutation. 32-33 You seen and done so much, it's getting harder and harder to surprise you. Any time you are surprised for one or more actions, you may make a Wisdom check to avoid one segment of surprise. Reroll if you get this result again. 34 Weird pet: go through some monster book and find a critter (not a person) of hit dice equal to half you level. It cannot be an ordinary earth animal. One such creature is now your special buddy. 35-36 You've bummed around with so many wizards and elfs and whatnot that you've picked up an extra bit of magic. You gain a random MU spell of d6 level as a once per session power, but you have to make an Int roll to cast it successfully. If you roll a 20 it goes hilariously awry. 37-39 Neanderthals and other cave primitives just immediately realize that you're cool. +2 reaction rolls from the paleolithic set. If you roll this again, gain a cave person as a henchweenie. Reroll the third and subsequent occurrences of this item. 40-41 You learn a new language for a monster species not normally considered to be a sentient speaking race, like Green Slimish or Skeletonese. You may parlay with members of this species as if they were regular people. 42 There's a certain hill on the southern continent of the Dreamworld where you once got a really good panoramic view of the entirety of Creation. It was pretty rad. Since most confusion effects are based on overriding the brain's ability to filter out the complexities of the cosmos, you are now immune to confusion attacks. Reroll if you get this result again. 43-44 You gain a loyal first level henchweirdo. They cannot belong to a race or class in any D&D core rulebook. 45-47 You spend a LOT of time talking yourself out of trouble. +1 Cha. 48-49 Choose a standard class. It cannot be your own. You may now use any magic item allowed to that class. 50 You make a lot of strange friends bumming around the cosmos. You may declare that a hostile or indifferent nonhuman but intelligent monster is, in fact, an old drinking buddy. Roll (or reroll) reactions at +2 on the dice. This works once. 51-52 You understand the basics of operating machinery and electronics well beyond the ken of most people from backwater medieval fantasy universes. There's always at least a 1 in 6 chance you really screw up, though. Reroll if you get this result again. 53-55 You're really good at jury-rigging repairs with whatever is handy. Once per session you can fix a broken or malfunctioning device with an Intelligence check, but the DM can require the sacrifice of any d6 items you and your friends happen to have on them. Reroll if you get this result again. 56-57 Any time you are swallowed whole by a monster they must save versus poison or puke you up. Reroll if you get this result again. 58 Dogs just like you. +1 reactions from any canine encountered. 87

59-60 You pick up some training in another class. Pick any other random advancement chart (including the ones for other races), you get to use it right now and you may now use that chart for one advancement roll per level hereafter. 61-63 Smooth talker from out of town: +1 reaction rolls to seduce people who have never left their home universe. 64-65 Any time you would take half damage from a successful save, you can take no damage instead BUT you must sacrifice either an item in your hand or something you are wearing. Reroll if you get this result again. 66 You can sometimes see into extra dimensions. Once per session you can see invisible, ethereal, astral, etc. stuff for up to 1 turn. Rerolls add 1 turn to the duration. 67-68 You gain +1 on finding secret doors. +2 if rolling on a d20. 69-71 Once per session you may pull a useful item out of your pocket/backpack/whatever. This item is roughly as useful as anything on the standard miscellaneous equipment list, but it can't be any of those objects. Like if you need rope, you can't select that but you could have a folding ladder in your backpack. 72-73 Once per session if the DM is using a die roll to see who among the party is attacked or affected by something bad, you can simply opt out of the determination. It's as if you weren't there. 74 You can immediately recognize a wand of wonder or any other magic item with a similar random chart of dumb effects for what it is, just by looking at it. If you roll this again, you may use such items and make an Int roll to control what happens (i.e. you get to look at the table and pick an effect). If you roll a 20 for your Int check then d6 effects happen to you and you alone. Reroll the third and subsequent rolls on this chart. 75-76 If come across a magic portal that is dangerous in any way (like maybe it zaps for damage when you use it), you get an Int check to recognize that fact before you use it. Reroll if you get this result again. 77-79 You've picked up a little Venusian Aikido somewhere along the way. Roll once on the Red Dragon Fighting Society chart or Gnome Wrestler chart, your choice. 80-81 Demons and other extraplanar entities can see from your aura that you are a walker among worlds and not some local yokel. You have +1 reaction rolls when parlaying with such beings. Rerolls increase the modifier. 82 Whenever you find yourself suddenly dropped into a hostile environment (under water, in a volcano, on the moon, in the heart of a black hole, etc.) you may make a save versus magic to act normally, sustaining no environmental penalties or damage, for d6 turns. You may do this exactly once. 83-84 The next time you are subject to a curse effect it somehow skips you and is inflicted on another random party member. This works just once. 85-86 Wanderers such a hobos, nomads, the Galactica refugee fleet, etc., recognize you as one of their own. They will hide you from the police, smuggle you and your friends across the border, etc, but you may end up having to marry someone in the tribe to get their help. 88

87-89 If you have any missing or mangled body parts, you gain a cybernetic replacement at some chopshop down the street from Callahan's Crosstime Saloon. If you are not missing an eye or a hand or whatever, roll d10 on this chart to find your new mechanical enhancements: 1. Xray Eye - Clairvoyance 1/session 2. Lazor Eyes - Shoot beam attacks up to 120' for 2d6 damage, 10 shots then recharges over 24 hours 3. Flame Arm - Integral flamethrower 3d6 save for half, cone 30' long, 20' wide, once per session 4. Robo Arms - +2 Str 5. Murder Hand - One of your hands is now a vicious melee weapon of some sort, doing d8 damage. Choose randomly which hand it is. If it's your sword arm, you're +2 to hit. If it's your off arm you get a second attack per round at -2. 6. Robo Legs - +20' per round running speed 7. Dermal Plating - +1 AC 8. Filter Lungs - +4 saves versus poison gas 9. CyberLiver - +2 saves versus ingested poisons 10. ComputoBrain - +2 Int, -2 Cha, +2 saves versus charms Reroll the d10 if the same enhancement comes up a second time. 90-91 You are +2 to-hit with your favorite weapon. If you lose that specific weapon, it will take you a whole session with no bonus to adjust to a new one. You cannot simply replace the weapon with a better one, the old one must be lost or destroyed. If this is rolled again, you gain +2 damage as well. A third roll grants you an extra attack each round with the specific weapon. Reroll subsequent rolls of this item.

92 If you are ever teleported stealthily, like in a labyrinth to mess up mapping, you instantly know you've been ported.

93-94 You gain +1 to a random stat.

95-97 If you are a spellcaster, you gain a new spell slot one level higher than you should. If you are not a caster, you gain random 1st level spell from your choice of the cleric or MU charts as a daily power.

98-99 Your body and equipment now vibrate at a strange frequency. Any attacks by you count as silver or cold iron. If you roll this again, they count as +1 magic. Reroll subsequent rolls of this item.

100 The next time you die you leave a pile of empty clothes, like Ben Kenobi. You reappear elsewhere in the cosmos, bereft of equipment but alive. This works only once. You may never return to the world where you died without immediately dropping dead.

Catch-all Random Advancement 89

I normally roll with games that use the canonical seven BX classes, but FLAILSNAILS PCs are a motley lot. This chart is designed for the nice people for whom the existing charts are a less than ideal fit.

When your weirdo PC goes up a level, you can opt to roll on this chart but once, but you have to sacrifice something. That would take the form of a spell slot you would otherwise gain, your new hit die, a special class ability, a boost to your saving throws or to-hits. Note that all that stuff can be found on the chart below.

If there is an existing random advance chart for your class, you can burn a roll on that chart to roll here. You can only do that once per level.

(By the way, many entries on this table is pretty dungeon oriented and may not be appropriate for a campaign with a different focus.)

01-02 You get nothing! Sorry, friend.

03-10 You gain +1 to-hits.

11-17 You gain +2 to-hit with a weapon of your choice, all normal unarmed attacks, or a single spell that requires a to-hit roll. If you roll this again you must select a different attack.

18-25 +1 on all saving throws

26-34 +2 on one category of saving throw. If you are a FLAILSNAILer, pick both an old school category like Death Ray and one of the Reflex/Endurance/Will trio. If you end up in a single saving throw game, this only counts as +1.

35-42 Gain a bonus hit die. If you are Name Level and no longer getting dice, you get one anyway.

43 You gain +1 Constitution. If this puts you past the max allowed in your rule set (e.g. there are no 19 stats in BX), roll again, but you are allowed to exceed AD&D1-style racial maximums. 44-52 You gain a spell slot of your highest current spell level. Not a spell caster? Roll d4 on this subchart: 1. You’ve become a tree hugger. Each day you get a random 1st level druid spell. 90

2. You found religion. Pick a faith if you don’t have one. Each day you get a random 1st level cleric spell. 3. Turns out you have some previously unknown sorcerer blood. Each day you get a random 1st level magic-user spell. 4. Find some other weirdo caster class and get a random 1st level spell of theirs each day.

If you are not a caster and end up back here, don’t roll d4. Instead, give yourself a random 2nd level spell each day, then a random 3rd, etc. up to 6th level. After that, reroll this result.

53-54 You gain +2 weapon damage against some monster type you fought last session. You pick. If you can cast spells, you can choose to gain this bonus with spell attacks instead of weapons. The bonus would apply to individual magic missiles but act as a flat +2 on a single fireball. If you get this result again you must pick another kind of monster.

55 You gain +1 Wisdom. If this puts you past the max allowed in your rule set (e.g. there are no 19 stats in BX), roll again, but you are allowed to exceed AD&D1-style racial maximums.

56-57 Subject to any special attacks last session? If they were the kind that require a saving throw, you are now +4 to save against one of them (like giant spider poison), whether you saved previously or not. If they were the kind that didn’t get a save (spectre level drain, for instance), you now get a saving throw to avoid. Specify both the monster type and the attack when you record this bonus. If you roll this a second time you must pick a different special attack. If you were not subject to any special attacks last session, 91

reroll this result.

58-60 Admirer: You have attract the attention and adoration of some 0-level numbskull. If you can get them through 3 adventure sessions without killing them, they become a 1st level henchweenie of your character class.

61 You gain +1 Charisma. If this puts you past the max allowed in your rule set (e.g. there are no 19 stats in BX), roll again, but you are allowed to exceed AD&D1-style racial maximums.

62 You’re now tougher than leather. +1 armor class. Reroll if you get this result a second time.

63 You gain +1 Intelligence. If this puts you past the max allowed in your rule set (e.g. there are no 19 stats in BX), roll again, but you are allowed to exceed AD&D1-style racial maximums.

64-65 You’re getting quite good with adventuring equipment. Pick an item on the standard equipment list, something that isn’t a class-specific tool. You are now an Expert with that kind of equipment. There’s 92

no mechanics attached to this, but the DM should give you some extra leeway when putting that item to use.

65 You gain the next special ability for your class early. This is anything of the non-spell slot sort that appears in the far right column of your class progression chart, as well as things like extra attacks, scribing scrolls, reading magic, building castles, etc. When that item comes up in its regular progression you can double down if that’s possible, otherwise roll again on this chart.

66 You gain +1 Dexterity. If this puts you past the max allowed in your rule set (e.g. there are no 19 stats in BX), roll again, but you are allowed to exceed AD&D1-style racial maximums.

67 Your last dungeon expedition has left you irrevocably altered. Roll on the nearest mutation chart.

68-69 Did you have any conversations with monsters last session? Even if they were brief or didn’t go well, you learned a valuable lesson on negotiating with them. +1 reaction rolls with an encountered monster type. If you roll this again, you must select a different monster or re-roll.

70 You gain +1 Charisma. If this puts you past the max allowed in your rule set (e.g. there are no 19 stats in BX), roll again, but you are allowed to exceed AD&D1-style racial maximums.

71-73 Your dungeon skills get better. Your choice of +1 Listen at Doors, +1 Find Secret Door, +1 Open Doors, or +1 Find Traps. If you roll this again you must pick a different bonus. If you get all four, reroll the fifth time you get this result.

74-75 You’ve been practicing operating in heavier armor. You can use your class abilities with the next heavier set of armor. For example, a thief could sneak around in studded leather or ring mail, a wizard could cast spells while holding a shield, etc. If you are already an “any armor allowed” type, your armor always counts as one category less encumbering for all purposes (swimming, climbing, leaping, etc.) EXCEPT movement rate.

76 Torch Fighter: you are an expert fighter with a weapon in one hand and a torch in the other. By warding off attackers you can use the torch as a shield-- though it is useless against fireproof entities--or you can make a second attack each round at -4 (your primary attack takes no penalty, so why the hell not?). The torch works as a d4 club against fireproof beings, but does d6 to all others. Plus if you roll a 6 you set them aflame. Sweet. Also, you know what you are doing sufficiently that these shenanigans will never extinguish your torch unless you do something like clobber a water weird. Reroll this result if you have already rolled it or if your character has infravision.

77 You gain +1 Strength. If this puts you past the max allowed in your rule set (e.g. there are no 19 stats in BX), roll again, but you are allowed to exceed AD&D1-style racial maximums.

78-80 Thousand Yard Stare: You are +4 saves against fear effects and never freak out when you see gruesome violence or comrades die. Part of you is just too dead inside to care anymore.

81-82 New weapon: Pick a weapon forbidden to your class. You are now proficient with it. If you already can use any weapon, work with the DM to develop some exotic new weapon your PC can use. 93

83-84 You know the location of a your heart's desire or simply a spot where a Type H treasure lies. It is no more than 4 sessions away. You must have a fair shot at it--like any other treasure, but there's no guarantee you will get it. If you don't get it by the fourth session you can keep trying or let it go and roll again on this table. However if you choose to roll again and then you do get the thing somehow anyway, you lose whatever gimmick you rolled. The DM must think up some clever reason why.

85-86 Dungeon survivor: If you get hopelessly lost in a dungeon you can make your way out no more than d6 days later. You emerge naked-- though you may be covered in gods know what kinds of slime, filth, and blood--and exhausted, but alive. You can only save d6 other party members. If you don’t roll high enough to account for the whole party, you must choose who lives and who dies. You are not allowed to settle this question by die roll, drawing straws, or any other form of cop-out. The responsibility is entirely yours. You can use this power only once, unless you roll it again.

87-89 Admit it, every adventurer is a thief of sorts. Gain your choice of Move Silently plus Hide In Shadows (both), Find & Remove Trap, Pick Pockets, Open Locks, Climb Walls, or Back Stab at proficiency equal to your new level. This ability does not advance unless you roll this again and pick the same thing. Note that Move, Hide, and Climb won't work in armor heavier than studded leather. If you already have all these skills, reroll.

90-91 You’ve developed a seventh sense about the undead. If the shambling corpse or spooky phantom you’ve just spotted can drain levels, you just know. Reroll if you get this result again.

92-93 Expert Looter: In any situation where the GP value of loot is determined by die roll, you get the better of two rolls for your share only. If you have to quickly swipe one item from a trove, you always get the item worth the most. If you quickly fill your backpack, it will always end up at least 50% full with the best stuff available. This ability has no effect on magic items. Reroll if you get this result again.

94-95 You’re getting good at rolling with the fall. You take half damage from any fall of 30’ or less, as well as any damage from wrestling throws, trips, bucking broncos, etc. Reroll if you get this result again.

96-97 Hardscrabble Fighter: Once per combat and before you roll to-hit in melee you can declare that you are fighting even dirtier than usual. You get +2 to-hit and if you succeed the foe is stunned d3 rounds due to eye gouge, purple nurple, ball crush, etc. Does not work on foes with no discernible weak points. Reroll if you get this result again.

98-99 An Item Just For You: Unless the DM has already specified the origin of an item, you may declare any found magic item of less than artifact status to be also usable by your class. Furthermore, it has additional powers ONLY usable by members of your class. The DM should roll on the same chart that lists the item or the nearest equivalent. (Example: Not only is that Staff of Curing now usable by death masters, but in their grubby little hands it now also functions as a death masters-only Wand of Illusion!) You may use this ability just once. You may roll this result again, but if you have not used the previous roll, you lose both opportunities. 94

100 You’ve Seen A Lot of Crazy Shit: Once per session you can know a relevant fact about darn near anything. The DM will make a secret Intelligence check for your character. If it succeeds, they will be both truthful and informative. If it fails, they can provide partially correct information, but they aren’t allowed to automatically doom you unless a 20 is rolled. Reroll if you get this result again.

NOW GO FORTH AND BE WEIRDOS