King of the Swingers

W f o l rd o s G M ty i e c ri ha a e , V l W te es hi ton e W • Photography Jo

Len Goodman has been a passionate golfer for over 50 years and he’s revelling in his role as of the Variety Club Golf Society

en Goodman really loves his golf, not just the playing bit – which he does a fair bit of – but everything about it. He’s an avid L spectator – “what a three-ball that was,” he says, referring to the recent grouping of Rory McIlroy, Brooks Koepka and Tiger Woods at The Memorial – and any mention of a Sunningdale or Royal Lytham makes him weak at the knees, more so than a perfectly executed foxtrot. It’s one of the reasons why the former head judge on is the perfect captain for

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Feature - Len Goodman.indd 55 25/08/2020 16:43 VARIETY GOLF the Variety Club Golf Society – a “Dancing doesn’t help your golf and role he’s thoroughly enjoying. The Variety Club of Great Britain golf doesn’t help your dancing. Tony Golf Society (now Variety Golf) was Jacklin was terrible on Strictly!” formed in 1965, with the objective of raising money for the purchase of Mitchell. The three-time European it. “You need good technique, you Sunshine Coaches to be donated to Tour winner remains a good friend, need timing, you need rhythm, you schools and care centres looking although Goodman accepts there’s need good posture. Naturally, you after disabled and disadvantaged nothing his old pal can do to help would think if you are a dancer, it children. Fifty-five years later and it his game right now. would help... no it doesn’t. It works has donated nearly 6,000 coaches. both ways. The dancing doesn’t Along the way, Variety Golf has built Time waits for no man help your golf and the golf doesn’t a proud history, with celebrities of “As you get older, you aren’t as help your dancing. Tony Jacklin stage, screen and sport, together good at anything as you were,” he went on Strictly and he was with other charitably minded says matter-of-factly, before setting absolutely terrible!” golfers, helping to change the lives off on a bit of a rant that we can all The two-time Major winner was of thousands of children. relate to. “I’m like all golfers, really. the first contestant to leave the show “When you look down the list of You hit a good one. Next time, back in 2013, when his Charleston who’s been captain, I have to pinch same club, same everything, only failed to impress. Goodman, though, myself. Old Len Goodman, dance this time you nobble it 50 yards despite his Twitter handle teacher from Dartford and here I down the fairway. Why is that? I ‘@GrumpyLGoodman’, is not a am,” says Goodman, referring to think, ‘Well I ain’t done nothing mean-spirited sole – he’s just one of the likes of former captains Sir different. Something has obviously those who calls a spade a spade. He Bruce Forsyth, Jimmy Tarbuck, gone haywire.’” won’t gloss over a poorly struck Russ Abbot and Jasper Carrott. “It’s Surely he can utilise one or two drive, nor would he spare one of his such a worthwhile charity. skills from the dance floor to golfing heroes a few home truths Anything charitable produce a surrounding his moves. Jacklin, that I can do I will do, good swing? though, remains an idol, just like because whatever I am It’s a question Bobby Jones. I got from the public, he’s been Goodman is playing in the Variety so it’s the only little asked before Pro Invitational at Brocket Hall. It’s way I can give back.” – and he’s a warm day and it’s a shame that he Goodman plays most having none of has to lose his cardigan, one Jones of his golf in Kent. He’s a member at the London Golf Club and Variety Club is particularly fond of 1965 his home club, Golf Society Year founded Wildernesse. “Very by the occasionally” he will play to a handicap of numbers 16. It’s not where he’d like to be. Years ago he got as low as eight, although the The latest main reason for this was a “fluke” of Sunshine Coach a round where he chipped in twice being presented and holed putts from all over the place for a round of 73. “I’ve spent the next 20 years going back up 0.1, 0.2...” he laughs. As someone who’s been playing for over 50 years, he’s used to handicap fluctuations – and he’s not really too bothered by it. If anyone’s to blame for the frustrations that emanate from a bad round, it’s the couple he was giving dance lessons to in Dartford who recommended he should take up golf – which led him to a young assistant professional called Peter

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Feature - Len Goodman.indd 56 25/08/2020 16:43 himself would have looked LET player Samantha Head, dapper in. That elegance is still Variety Golf’s corporate there as he sits back, crosses his partnerships manager, have a legs and lights a cigar. His tee Dame Laura Davies lot of work to do. The schedule time is approaching, but he’s not was one of the has been rearranged because of about to commence an elaborate stars on show the virus, but there’s much to pre-round routine. “I don’t look forward to with meetings practise,” he says, sipping on his praise for the generosity shown by at The Berkshire, Hankley coffee. “We’ll just see what the celebrities and members. Common and The Grove all in the happens. I’ve watched top pros top “You’ve got people like Sir Trevor diary. Plus, there’s a ‘Strictly Come it off the 1st. I wouldn’t care if on Brooking who, at the start of the Golfing’ event being planned for the 1st tee there were 10,000 year, will put every single date in October. Goodman will be there to people watching and I duffed it. the diary and turn up to every do battle – perhaps even a dance That’s not my job, is it? Thank God, event,” he says. “Boxer John Conteh off – against . or I’d be absolutely skint by now.” is the same. Over the years we’ve He’s had enough of gardening In the field, there’s an array of had some great captains, people these last few months. Nothing winners from the tours, including like , Steve beats being out on the course. Dame Laura Davies, Trish Johnson, Coppell, Sir Bobby Charlton and Sir “Being in a dance studio in a Simon Khan and Richard McEvoy. Geoff Hurst. They all love giving up confined space, it can get all hot The event sold out in 52 minutes their time.” and sweaty,” he says. “You come and will help raise thousands of out on the golf course and it pounds towards providing more Support from the pros doesn’t matter how worried you Sunshine Coaches. With So do the professionals, and the are about anything – once you are approximately 70 celebrity laughing and joking continues long playing, all you are thinking about members and 300 business after four-time Major winner is hitting the ball and getting it in members, it has the perfect platform Davies finishes her round alongside the hole. It’s lovely.” to generate much-needed funds. John Griffin, founder of taxi and Should you ever meet Goodman Last year, the Variety Club Golf courier company Addison Lee – all in the 19th, don’t give him a Society raised nearly £1 million. outside at a safe distance. Richard blow-by-blow account of your Variety Club director of golf, Jamie Bland – who Little has played golf round. He can tolerate bad Little, a professional who plied his with since the age of 14 – picks up dancers, bad golfers and even his trade on tour for 15 years before the trophy for nudging it around own bad form, but the guy who taking on the role in 2016, is full of the Palmerston course in seven- insists on telling him what went

305 21 6,000 3,000 £65m

Members Sunshine Coaches Sunshine Coaches Schools helped Total raised presented last year to in total donated over the last 55 years by VCGS 21 different schools by the VCGS

under-par, beating fellow European wrong on the 6th... just don’t. “It’s Tour members Matthew Southgate the only thing I don’t like about and Dale Whitnell by three shots. golfers,” he jokes, somewhat A new coach is presented to perplexed by the notion that TreeHouse School, Muswell Hill, anyone would think it’s acceptable which is part of the newly formed to share every shot from the charity ‘Ambitious About Autism’. It previous five hours. “It’s like the caps a wonderful day, one that has History Channel, no one cares!” raised approximately £35,000. He signs off with a famous quote “The beauty of Variety Golf is that from American sportswriter Jim we are a true golfing charity,” says Murray, which he’s typed into his Little. “Our members have kids and phone. “Golf is the cruellest of grandkids and they get what we’re sports. Like life, it’s unfair. It’s a all about. We’re like a big family, harlot. A trollop. It leads you on. It like a golf club almost, but one that never lives up to its promises. It’s a Richard Bland travels round.” boulevard of broken dreams. It took the spoils on the day The next stop on the road is plays with men. And runs off with Bearwood Lakes. Little and former the butcher.”

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