Disciplinary Disruption: Exploring the Connection between High School Sanctioning and
Black Collegiate Women’s Experiences
Dissertation
Presented in Partial Fulfillment of the Requirements for the Doctor of Philosophy in the
Graduate School of The Ohio State University
By
Tiffany Lorraine Steele, M.Ed.
Graduate Program in Educational Studies
The Ohio State University
2020
Dissertation Committee
Marc Johnston Guerrero, Advisor
Susan R. Jones
Wendy G. Smooth
Copyrighted by
Tiffany Lorraine Steele
2020
2 Abstract
Limited research exists on the potential outcomes of experiencing disciplinary action in educational spaces for Black girls. More research is needed to explore how negative experiences with discipline and policing in their K-12 educational journeys influence Black girls’ thoughts around post-secondary education. Specifically, what role do disciplinary actions and their consequences have for Black girls as they pursue higher education? Therefore, the purpose of this dissertation study was to explore first-year,
Black collegiate women’s experiences with disciplinary action in high school and the influence of discipline on their experiences in higher education. Through portraiture methodology, I explored the stories shared by five participants about their experiences with high school discipline, messaging received that shaped their views of higher education, and how these two instances collide to describe the influence high school discipline has on the collegiate experiences of Black women. Data for this study were collected through two individual interviews and one focus group interview. Participants were recruited from a large, midwestern, public institution of higher education. Data analysis was conducted through the development of participant portraits and emergent themes across portraits as a means to highlight the authentic voices and experiences shared by participants. Implications are shared for policy, practice, and research with a focus on supporting the needs of Black women and girls as they prepare for and transition ii to institutions of higher education and challenging biased disciplinary policies that can influence their educational trajectory before entering postsecondary education.
iii Dedication
I would like to dedicate my work to my late maternal grandmother, Flossie
Renfro. When I remember the stories you shared about the miles you walked to the school house as a child for an education, I can’t help but to be humbled at my ability to carry that torch. And carrying that torch meant being the first in my family for many educational feats so they are no longer an exception but reality for all. Thank you for your strength, guidance, lessons, care, and most importantly, unconditional love.
Although I lost you at the start of my doctoral journey, your spirit has been with me the entire time. I am proud to say that I “kept my eye on the prize” just like you asked.
iv Acknowledgments
When I reflect over the past four years on this journey, there are countless people and memories that I wouldn’t trade for the world. Just know, those who are in these pages have made a huge impact on my life and my ability to complete this process. If I fail to mention anyone, please charge it to my head and not my heart.
As with all things, it is a must to give all honor and glory to God for not only calling me to pursue a Ph.D. but for the way He meticulously calculated this journey.
Each moment leading up to this point was met with confirmation and support from the most unexpected places causing me to only count it towards His work and masterful plan for my life. He has never left me nor forsaken me. He has provided me with resources, rest, and community to pull me through one of the toughest journeys of my life. I am forever grateful that He chose me to do this work and to complete this walk.
To my mom a.k.a ma a.k.a. mommykins a.k.a. Gertrude, I just love you. I couldn’t imagine learning the power of strength, love, and compassion from anyone else.
Thank you for always supporting me along this journey and listening to me complain, allowing me to come home when I just needed to get away, sending me money to buy my favorite comfort foods, and reminding me how perfectly and marvelously made I am because of God. The moment you told me how proud you were of me after finishing my dissertation defense made all of this worth it. My goal is to continue making you just as v proud with each decision I make. This is OUR degree! And I can’t wait to see all that we do with it. I love you.
To my dissertation committee, Drs. Guerrero, Jones, and Smooth, thank you all for believing in me. There were countless times I doubted myself, my ideas, and my ability to even complete this project but you all collectively reminded me of how much I had to offer the field and the necessity of my presence and scholarship. Thank you for learning alongside me through portraiture and pushing me to claim my thoughts as valuable contributions to the field of Higher Education and society as a whole. This would have been impossible without you.
Dr. Guerrero, I just don’t know where to start when I try to put into words all that you have done for me in this program. From taking me on as an unexpected advisee, to fiercely supporting my dreams and voice, to advocating for me behind close doors, I thank you. Your genuine concern about my wellbeing and my life outside of this program has been one of my favorite parts of this experience. Thank you for the countless amount of times you’ve allowed me to cry at your desk from carrying the weight of life on my back during this journey. Thank you for not making me feel imcapable or insufficient.
Thank you for affirming that I’m not crazy and that any microgression I experienced was real. Thank you for seeing me. Thank you for letting me be me.
To my lifelong friends, who know me better than I know myself and have been with me every step of the way (Dailyn, Grace, Will, Rhy, Denzel, Jakia, and DJ), thank you for allowing me space to pursue my dreams. I know many times I was distant and
vi failed to communicate because I just didn’t have the words or mental capacity to even explain my thoughts but you all continued to love and support me.
Dailyn, thank you for the quick check-ins when you knew in your gut something was wrong with me. I needed to talk more in those moments than you will ever know.
Grace, thank you for every funny meme and conversation that allowed me to feel human and not just a grad student. They were subtle reminders that I can still have joy in the midst of everything.
Will, Rhy, and Zel, my best friends since basically the beginning of time, thank you for always lifting me up whenever I tried to downplay my accomplishments and for celebrating me at all times even from a far. You all are the family I never knew I needed.
Jakia, my sis in scholarship and my best friend in this thing called life, thank you for walking on this journey with me, letting me facetime you so I can find the motivation to write, letting me visit whenever I needed to get out of Columbus, and gifting me with my beautiful nephew, Tre. You are the epitome of loyalty and true friendship.
Last, a specific shoutout to DJ for even introducing me to the idea of Ph.D., my first publications, Associate Editorship on an ENTIRE BOOK, and continued support in making sure I landed my dream position. YOU ARE THE GOAT. I literally wouldn’t even be in position to write this acknowledgement without you.
To the best cohort a woman could ask for, Antonio, Kaity, Lane, Courtney,
Shannon, Ashley, and Laura, I love and appreciate you more than you know. Thank you for the intentional check-ins throughout the journey, the trivia outings in the summer, the
vii potlucks and barbecues, and the continuous celebration of each accomplishment we all achieve. HESA did something special when they put us together.
Tiffany Polite, you have been so instrumental to my grad experience that you deserve your own section! Thank you for taking me under your wing as Tiffany #2 since
I arrived in Columbus. From showing me around the city to making room for me on your couch whenever I just needed someone to remind me I’m not crazy, I thank you. Thank you for walking this path before me and making sure that I had what needed to make it out of this process as whole as possible.
To my church family at New Salem Baptist Church, thank you for welcoming me to Columbus with open arms. I’m thankful to have had a spiritual covering throughout this journey that has been a space of safety, comfort, exposure, and celebration throughout this journey. Even down to Pastor Troy and Mrs. T checking on me to make sure I had everything I needed to see this journey through, I am forever thankful. And from New Salem, I am thankful for the friendships that emerged from ministry and genuine love.
Christopher, thank you for introducing me to New Salem and to the people who are some of my best friends today. Thank you for supporting me through this journey the best ways you knew how rather you were here in Columbus or in North Carolina. Thank you for listening to me vent, letting me cry when anxiety got the best of me, and reminding me of just how “dope” God made me. I couldn’t imagine this journey without you. I love you.
viii Tanikka and Denarian, thank you both for being best friends and siblings. The amount of love and laughter you grant me is undeserved. I appreciate all the late nights you all spent with me, all the tears you let me cry, all the tv binging you joined me for, the road trips we’ve taken, the surprise celebrations, and the genuine love you give me. I don’t know how we ended up together but I am glad it happened.
Dr. DTK better known as Derrick, you have been a great friend and mentor throughout my time here. Thank you for opening your home to me during the times where I couldn’t write at home by myself. Thank you for listening to me read my dissertation over and over again just to make sure it made sense. Thank you for affirming my voice and point of view even when I was unsure of myself. Thank you for your selflessness and love.
Jori, sis!!!! Thank you for understanding me, supporting me, and making sure that
I celebrated myself even when I didn’t want to lol. Thank you for hearing me when I was angry, hurt, sad, or confused. Thank you for being a genuine friend to me. And thank you for holding me accountable on my spiritual walk throughout this journey.
Edwin, thank you for being like a brother to me from the beginning. Even when you had to give me stern talks about not giving up on myself, God, or my purpose, I knew I could trust your words because they were genuine. You always reminded me of what you saw in me early on and you never stopped pushing me to be great. Love you bro!!!!
And of course, to my care group, Generations (Ash, V, Wanda, Fran, Ms. Susan,
Demi, and Jaz), I love you all! Thank you for celebrating my victories, praying for me
ix continuously, and for the genuine love and laughs. I have appreciated my time growing alongside you in Christ but also learning from you as women.
Finally, I would like to thank the participants of this study, Angel, Marissa, Kiara,
Monique, and Serenity. Thank you for trusting me with your stories. This literally could not have happened without you. I hope that you know you are so much more than what society says about you, than your accomplishments, than your intellect and your abilities.
You are amazing women and overall people just because of who you are. Everytime I read your interviews or remember our moments together I get inspired. Thank you for giving me a why.
x Vita
2010……………………………………………………………...Renaissance High School
2014………………………………………...….B.A., Psychology, University of Michigan
2014-2016 …………………………..Graduate Assistant for Housing and Residence Life,
Grand Valley State University (GVSU)
2015…………………………………... Graduate Intern for Housing and Residential Life,
California State University, Sacramento
2015……………………………………Graduate Intern for Sophomore Academy, GVSU
2016……………………………………………M.Ed., Higher Education, College Student
Affairs Leadership, GVSU
2016-2017……………………Graduate Research Associate, Center for Higher Education
Enterprise, The Ohio State University (OSU)
2017………………………………. Graduate Research Associate, University Institute for
Teaching and Learning, OSU
2017…………………………………………..Graduate Administrative Associate, Dennis
Learning Center, OSU
2017-2019…………………………………….Graduate Administrative Associate, Young
Scholars Program, OSU
xi 2019-2020…………………………………..Graduate Research Associate, Managing
Editor, Review of Higher, OSU Education
Publications
Steele, T. (2017). Retaining Black female college students: The effects of meritocracy on
their ideas of success. College Student Affairs Leadership, 4(1), 1-10.
Mitchell, D., Jr., Steele, T., Marie, J., & Timm, K. (2017). Learning race and racism
while learning: The experiences of international students pursuing higher
education in the Midwestern United States. AERA Open, 3(3), 1-15.
Mitchell, D., Jr., Gipson, J., Marie, J., & Steele, T. (2017). Intersectional value? A pilot
study exploring educational outcomes for African American women in
historically Black Sororities versus non-historically Black sororities. Oracle: The
Research Journal of the Association of Fraternity/Sorority Advisors. 12(2), 44-58.
Steele, T. (2018). Toxicity in the work environment: Retaining staff members of color at
a predominantly White institution. College Student Affairs Journal, 36(1), 109-
123.
Mitchell, D., Jr., Marie, J., & Steele, T. (Eds.). (2019). Intersectionality & higher
education: Theory, research, and praxis (2nd ed.). New York, NY: Peter Lang.
Fields of Study
Major Field: Educational Studies
Specialization: Higher Education & Student Affairs
xii
Table of Contents
Abstract ...... ii Dedication ...... iv Acknowledgments...... v Vita ...... xi List of Tables ...... xvii Chapter One: Introduction ...... 1 Background of Study ...... 2 Problem Statement ...... 5 Purpose and Research Questions of the Study ...... 9 Guiding Theoretical Frameworks ...... 10 Operational Definitions ...... 12 Research Design...... 14 Significance of the Study ...... 17 Delimitations ...... 18 Summary ...... 20 Chapter Two: Literature Review ...... 21 The Influence of Black Girl and Women Tropes...... 22 Mammy ...... 22 Sapphire ...... 23 Jezebel ...... 24 Strong Black Woman ...... 25 Super-Girl ...... 26 Black Girl Magic...... 26 Black Girls’ Experiences in K-12 Education ...... 27 Encounters with Teachers and School Officials ...... 28 xiii Tempered Expectations of Black Girls ...... 31 Exposure to Disciplinary Sanctioning ...... 34 Negative Educational Environments...... 37 Positive Influences ...... 38 Black Collegiate Women’s Experiences in Postsecondary Education ...... 39 Institutional Environments ...... 40 Positive Influences ...... 47 The Influence of Non-Educational Factors on the Experiences of Black Girls and Women ...... 49 Familial Obligations...... 49 Parental Relationships ...... 50 Interpersonal Relationships ...... 51 Psychological Stressors ...... 52 Summary ...... 53 Chapter Three: Methodology ...... 54 Epistemological Framework ...... 55 Constructivist Epistemology ...... 56 Critical Epistemology ...... 57 Critical Constructivist Epistemology ...... 58 Guiding Theoretical Framework ...... 60 Black Feminist Thought ...... 60 Approaching Black Girlhood ...... 63 Approaching Black Girlhood Through SOLHOT ...... 64 Methodology ...... 65 Portraiture ...... 66 Elements of Portraiture ...... 68 Sampling Criteria and Strategy ...... 72 Shared Collegiate Context ...... 73 Participants of the Study ...... 73 Data Collection ...... 76 Initial Individual Interviews ...... 76 Focus Group ...... 77 Follow-Up Individual Interview ...... 78 xiv Informed Consent...... 78 Participant Incentives ...... 79 Data Analysis ...... 79 Positionality ...... 81 Trustworthiness ...... 83 Ethical Considerations ...... 85 Summary ...... 86 Chapter Four: Participant Portraits ...... 88 Marissa Watkins: The Shy Soul ...... 89 Angel: The Quiet Storm ...... 96 Kiara: The Rebellious Spirit ...... 105 Monique: The Social Butterfly ...... 113 Serenity Davis: The Prickly Pear ...... 121 Summary ...... 128 Chapter Five: Findings ...... 130 Entering High School ...... 131 Seeing High School in Black and White...... 131 “I was a good student” ...... 134 Varying High School Discipline ...... 139 The Ambiguity of Discipline ...... 144 Coping with Discipline ...... 149 Entering College ...... 157 Perceptions of College ...... 157 Experiencing College for Themselves ...... 161 “It’s not as diverse as they say” ...... 167 Perceptions of College Discipline ...... 170 Coping Mechanisms and Managing Emotions ...... 174 Summary ...... 175 Chapter Six: Discussion, Implications, and Conclusion ...... 177 Researcher Reflection ...... 178 Discussion of Findings in Relation to the Literature ...... 179 Racialized Experiences Overshadow Gender ...... 180
xv Socialized as Black Women Only...... 183 Collegiate Success Defined by Black Evolving Women ...... 185 Understanding Collegiate Conduct ...... 188 Implications...... 190 Implications for Research ...... 191 Implications for Practice in Secondary Education ...... 193 Policy for Secondary Education...... 195 Practice for Higher Education ...... 195 Limitations ...... 197 Future Research ...... 198 Seeing Black Evolving Women ...... 201 References ...... 203 Appendix A. Letter to Nominators ...... 219 Appendix B. Letter to Potential Participants ...... 221 Appendix C. Social Media Recruitment Post ...... 223 Appendix D. Participant Demographic Survey ...... 225 Appendix E. Individual Interview Protocols ...... 227 Appendix F. Focus Group Timeline and Interview Protocol ...... 231 Appendix G. Photo Elicitation Prompt ...... 233 Appendix H. Informed Consent ...... 234 Appendix I. Email to Selected Participants ...... 237
xvi List of Tables
Table 1 Participant Information from Demographic Survey……………………………75
xvii Chapter One: Introduction
“I want to go to college! I love science. I think I want to become a doctor or something like that, but I always get kicked out of my science class. My mom sometimes calls me, so I answer the phone and get in trouble but it’s my mom so I’m going to answer. And then, sometimes, the other kids in my class be pickin’ on me when I’m trying to do my work. I try to ignore them, but I get mad and cuss them out so they leave me alone and then I end up getting in trouble and my teacher kick me out.”
– a Black middle school girl in a summer mentoring program for Black girls with behavioral issues
“I’m not doing good in my classes because my teachers don’t give me the help that I need. My papers say I need help, but they don’t listen. So, in class, I be mad and act out, but I get frustrated because I can’t do the work, and nobody will help me. When I act out, the teachers just send me to the counselor’s office. She tells me that I need to watch my attitude but she’s the only person that listens to me. I only have a good grade in my other math class because he [the teacher] actually tries to help me.”
– a Black high school girl with an individualized education plan (IEP) of her documented areas of needed support in school
Two different girls, varying grade levels, from different schools expressing the harsh reality of learning through school discipline that Black girls don’t matter in education.
I met these two young girls at distinctly different times in their educational journeys, but was troubled by the current conditions they similarly experienced in the K-
12 educational environment. Children with hopes and dreams related to the pursuit of education, whether current or future aspirations of succeeding, but still deemed as
“problems” in the classroom and treated as such. Questions that formed immediately in my mind related to the influence this treatment may have on a student’s developing 1 perceptions of institutions of education and the potential of furthering their education.
From a higher education lens, I pondered: With constant policing and punishment in an educational environment, could these students eventually see themselves succeeding in a college classroom? My lack of perceived answers from administrators who worked with these students highlighted how invisible (and/or) invaluable this shared experience was in the grand scheme of educating children, specifically, minoritized children of color. Two girls, in different stages of their educational journeys and at two different schools had a shared experience centered on discipline without consideration of their circumstances.
Unfortunately, my fear is that these stories are more common than most would like to believe and prevalent within elementary, middle, and high schools across the nation.
Inadequate attention to these experiences can lead to students getting lost in the transition from K-12 to college environments. Those who suffer, specifically Black girls and women, are left to manage their potentially traumatic journey through education alongside unjust expectations of their academic success.
Background of Study
In the field of higher education, research on Black pre-collegiate and collegiate women is limited. As noted by Patton (2016), over a 22-year span, only 48 articles focused on the experiences of Black college women were published in comparison to 62 articles published on Black college men within the span of one year. Amongst existing studies, researchers tend to focus on the success and resiliency of Black college women in comparison to their Black male counterparts (Banks, 2009; Muhammad & Dixson,
2008; O’Connor, 2002; Schwartz & Washington, 1999). Justifiably, from 2007-2008,
2 Black women were the largest female minority group to receive bachelor’s degrees
(NCES, 2010). In addition to the dated literature on this specific population, articles that emphasize the comparison of Black girls and women to peer populations typically promote an erasure of the authentic lived experiences and trials faced at the intersections of their most marginalized identities. These false narratives do not interrogate the unique journey of Black girls and women through education and the transitions they experience between institutions of education, such as, high school to collegiate environments.
Statistics might suggest that Black girls and women are successful in educational performance or gaining access to institutions of education in comparison to Black males, but it is important to problematize this notion by asking the question, “but at what cost?”
Within past literature, Black girls’ and women’s experiences have been explored through a dichotomy of deficit perspectives or inherent resilience. In higher education, more researchers, specifically Black women scholars, are pushing for the field to go beyond comparing Black women to peer groups to develop research and, instead, value the stories of Black girls and women solely as valid scholarship. To broaden these stories and gain deeper understanding of how some lived educational experiences of Black girls and women came to be, I find it important to start this evolution of research on Black women before they enter the college environment. More knowledge is needed on the experiences that shape them into the evolving women that they are today and the environments that shifted their paths towards higher education. The use of the term evolving is intentional as participants of this study defined their womanhood as space of evolution from girl to woman. Collaboratively, participants chose the phrase Black
3 evolving women to describe themselves and therefore, this term will be used throughout the study in reference to participants.
When peeling back the layers of the educational experience of Black women, specifically beginning with K-12 education, it is possible to identify key factors that potentially influence their current life journeys. One specific factor explored in this dissertation study is first-year Black collegiate women’s experiences with disciplinary sanctioning and policing before entering higher education. Experiences with disciplinary action and policing at such young ages can be described as what Monique Morris (2016) calls the criminalization of Black girls in schools or pushout. Specifically, Morris (2016) defined pushout as a “collection of policies, practices, and consciousness that fosters their
[Black girls] invisibility, marginalizes their pain and opportunities, and facilitates their criminalization” (p. 24). However, these stories and lived experiences of young Black girls who experience disciplinary action are typically unheard or not explored in relation to the pursuit of higher education and collegiate outcomes. A deficit narrative is more likely to be crafted about the capability of the students who become victims of pushout and the pipeline out of education. One repercussion of pushout for Black girls that has yet to be explored is the influence of criminalization on Black girl’s educational aspirations and experiences beyond high school.
Black girls are overrepresented amongst the population of K-12 students who are disciplined (Crenshaw, Ocen, & Nanda, 2014). In comparison to other female students of other races and ethnicities, Black girls are suspended more across the nation (Wun,
2016). The number of Black girls who are “criminalized” in educational settings has also
4 increased with the introduction of zero tolerance policies (ZTP). Although Black girls represent a small percentage of students in the K-12 educational system, 43% of Black girls have experienced a school-related arrest. An experience with ZTP can lead to various consequences that impact college choice such as underachievement in school and, most related, dropping out of school entirely (Carter, Fine, & Russell, 2014). However, studies on the influence of high school disciplinary action and policing on the experiences of Black women in collegiate environments have yet to be explored.
Problem Statement
A reoccurring topic on the experiences of Black children and K-12 educational system centers around the presence of disciplinary action and policing. Current statistics show that Black boys experience at least two to three discipline sanctions while Black girls are disciplined at higher rates than other female students across all racial groups
(Hines-Datiri & Carter Andrews, 2017). Specifically, while “Black teenage girls represent less than 17% of all female students, they account for 31% of school children referred to law enforcement and 43% of girls who experience school-related arrest”
(Wun, 2016, p. 2). The severity and persistence of disciplinary actions in this realm of education have been perpetuated by the use of Zero Tolerance Policies. Zero Tolerance
Policies (ZTP) can be defined as “school discipline that imposes removal from school for a broad array of school code violations ranging from truancy, to violent behavior and even dress code violations” (Losen & Skiba, 2010, p.2).
Black students who are reprimanded under ZTP are more likely to be removed from classroom learning environments and more likely to soon become involved with the
5 juvenile justice system (Carter, Fine, & Russell, 2014; Hines-Datiri, 2015). The school- to-prison pipeline concept is supported by this research and calls for action in the educational system to create better futures for Black students, but mainly focused on the well-being of Black boys. Although important, this research mimics higher education literature by ignoring Black girls who face similar consequences at higher rates. The continuous disciplinary sanctioning of Black girls and its relation to the perceptions held by K-12 educators and officials of Black girls was crisply captured by Neal-Jackson
(2018):
Overall the school officials’ accounts of their Black female students personified
negative dominant narratives about Black girls and women by positioning them as
undisciplined in their academic habits and unequivocally misaligned with school
norms. School officials suggested they were unapproachable, unteachable, and
ultimately fully responsible for the limited academic opportunities they
experienced. (p. 515)
This statement evokes a certain notion of the “need” for correction or discipline in the lives of Black girls in order to make them adhere to societal norms and teach them to become anything other than themselves. Creating structure in the teaching environment is beneficial to maintaining a sense of order amongst students, but not at the expense of the humanity of a few. And with this loss of humanity in the eyes of authoritative figures,
Black girls and women develop even stronger coping methods for survival in academic environments such as interacting less with teachers and school officials (Crenshaw, Ocen,
& Nanda, 2015; E. Morris, 2007; Neal-Jackson, 2018). However, this mechanism for
6 survival contradicts what higher education identifies as a necessary key for college success, faculty interaction.
News reports are shared regularly about the mistreatment of Black girls in society and in the assumingly safe spaces such as public classrooms. Excessive monitoring and policing of Black girls in educational spaces can lead to stories such as 17-year-old
Brittany Overstreet who was left with a broken jaw and knocked unconscious by school resource officers in 2015 for being falsely accused of bringing pepper spray to school
(Agorist, 2015). In the same year, Diamond Neal, of Baltimore, Maryland, was given ten stitches from being hit in the head with a baton by a school resource officer for trying to defend her cousin, Starr, who was shoved into a wall by the same officer (Miller, 2015).
These images and stories imprint levels of concern and mistrust of authorities amongst
Black girls in educational environments and, consequently, deem these spaces as unsafe or places where they do not belong. Although Black girls are seen as responsible for experiencing their environments in such ways, teachers and school administrators need to reevaluate the hostile environments they create for Black girls.
The adultification of Black girls by teachers and school officials aid in the creation of uncomfortable and unsafe environments for learning (E. Morris, 2007). When viewed similarly as Black women, Black girls face harsher repercussions for actions that are genuine expressions of their femininity or cultural understanding. However, the lack of competence around the ways of knowing of Black girls and assumptions of womanhood eliminate the possibilities of Black girls being viewed as owners of childlike innocence. With consistent messaging through practice and policy of the need to change
7 or correct their behavior, Black girls can begin to develop negative thoughts associated with the general idea of education.
The challenges of educational experiences before college can be eerily similar to transitional issues, socio-emotional difficulties, and psychological stressors encountered by Black students during college. For example, education psychology researchers have begun developing race-related school belonging studies to illuminate the importance of adopting anti-oppressive institutional standards in the K-12 system to combat traditional methods that devalue Black cultural ways of knowing (Gray et al., 2018). In relation, higher education scholars, have delved deeper into sense of belonging research specifically for minoritized populations to enlighten colleges and universities on ways to promote welcoming (Strayhorn, 2019). Although explored in both K-12 and higher education literature, a specific focus on the experiences of Black girls and women and the factors, such as discipline, that influence their unique experiences of isolation within educational environments is close to nonexistent.
When discussing Black women in higher education, most literature identifies the influence of individual factors on their current experiences in college instead of exploring institutional responsibility (Winkle-Wagner, 2015). Some of those individual factors include racial battle fatigue (Quaye et al., 2019), stereotype threat (Steele, 1995), and other microaggressive behaviors from peers within the classroom setting (Commodore et al., 2018). This is especially difficult for Black collegiate women who hold the "strong
Black woman" schema (Commodore et al., 2018). Researchers found that both Black girls and women may feel pressure to “prove-them-wrong” in order to separate
8 themselves from common stereotypical ideologies they are aware their peers, teachers, or professors hold of them (Neal-Jackson, 2018; Shavers & Moore, 2014). Therefore, the development of the “strong Black woman” narrative and other problematic tropes can occur for all Black women as early as K-12 through the process of adultification or age- compression (Love, 2019). This connection is one example of the similarities of experiences in K-12 and higher education for Black girls and women and the importance of exploring the experiences together instead of in vacuums. This dissertation explores how negative experiences with discipline in K-12 educational journeys influence Black collegiate women’s thoughts around post-secondary education. Specifically, I explore the role of K-12 disciplinary action and policing played in influencing the ways in which
Black collegiate women interpreted their current experiences in college.
Purpose and Research Questions of the Study
The purpose of this study was to explore first-year, Black collegiate women’s experiences with disciplinary action in high school and the influence of discipline on their experiences in higher education through portraiture methodology. As discussed, there is a dearth in the literature as it relates to post-secondary outcomes and high school disciplinary sanctioning. As students transition from one educational environment to another (e.g., high school to college), their memories, experiences, and the lasting effects of these experiences travel with them. This study initiates the discussion on the influence of high school disciplinary sanctioning and policing on Black girls by exploring the reflective narratives of Black college women through portraiture. In addition, this study also begins to bridge the gap between K-12 and post-secondary education research in
9 relation to Black girls and women to continue to develop research focused on the K-20 educational pipeline. The guiding theoretical frameworks of Black Feminist Thought and
Black girlhood were used in the approach to analyzing literature, data collection, and analysis to: a) center the voices of Black women; b) lean on participants as experts of their own experiences and oppression; and c) create spaces and data collection methods that encourage knowledge development through dialogue and community. To begin, this study was rooted in the following questions for investigation:
1. What stories do first-year, Black collegiate women tell about their experiences
with disciplinary sanctioning and policing in high school?
2. What messages shaped participants’ views and perceptions of higher education?
3. How did experiences with disciplinary sanctioning and policing in high school
influence participants’ views on higher education?
4. How does past disciplinary sanctioning influence Black collegiate women’s
current experiences in college?
Through these research questions, my goal was to better understand if and how disciplinary action alters the thoughts and experiences of Black women as they pursue higher education.
Guiding Theoretical Frameworks
Black feminist thought and Black girlhood were theoretical frameworks utilized in the creation and implementation of this study. Black feminist thought was essential in developing intentional ways to center the experience of participants in the study. Black feminist thought, first, supported my aim to “build new knowledge about the social world
10 in order to stimulate new practices” in terms of the treatment of Black girls and women in educational spaces (Collins, 2016, p.135). Following its roots in Afrocentric feminist epistemology, Black feminist thoughts outlines four elements that allow the stories of
Black women to be seen and valued as they are: viewing Black women as the experts of their own experience, using dialogue to develop knowledge, using an ethic of care, and using an ethic of personal responsibility. These elements were used in this study to develop an ethically responsible study with Black evolving women.
Black girlhood as a theory was birthed from Black feminist thought. Research on
Black girls currently may use seminal theories such as intersectionality, Black feminist thought, and womanism to help contextualize their experiences but the element of girlhood can be lost in theoretical works that center the experiences of Black women
(Collins, 2000; Crenshaw, 1989, 1991; Phillips, 2006). Therefore, Black girlhood as theoretical framework is utilized to acknowledge the childhood Black girls are so often not allowed to have within society. To define Black girlhood is a complex exercise as it describes an infinite number of stories, experiences, and ways of life that are not limited to a particular set of Black girls. Within the term Black girlhood, the “messiness” of racial and ethnic identification is embraced as Black represents the heterogeneity of girls across the African diaspora (Gill, 2012; Johnston-Guerrero, 2016). As defined by Brown
(2009), Black girlhood is vital to exploring the invisible innocence of Black girls as they are found in research to experience the antithesis to childhood while developing and maneuvering in society. Specific to this study, Black girlhood was utilized to avoid further adultification of participants as they explored vulnerable memories from their
11 high school experiences. Black girlhood also made room for the development of the phrase “Black evolving women” developed by participants’ of the study. In addition, various methods of reliability and study development were influenced by this framework and will be further explored when discussing Methodology in Chapter Three.
Operational Definitions
Through exploring the literature on Black girls and women to illuminate their past secondary experiences and current higher education experiences, I identified terms that may be unfamiliar for those who may not engage in K-12 literature or higher education literature. Each term is relevant to understand in relation to this study.
1. Adultification: the process of being perceived as more socially mature when
compared to others to justify the use of harsher punishment to reconcile issues in
comparison to their peers (E. Morris, 2007).
2. Black/ African American: For this study, Black/African American will be self-
identified by participants who view themselves as having racial origins within the
African diaspora.
3. Black collegiate women: This term refers to individuals enrolled in college as
undergraduate students enrolled at accredited 2-year or 4-year institutions that
also identify as Black/African American and women who are at least 18 years old.
4. Black evolving women: This term describes the “emergent adulthood”
experienced by participants in the study who saw themselves within the gray
space of Black girls developing into Black women. Participants collectively
decided that this is how they would like to be identified.
12 5. Black Girlhood: This term can be described as a continuous paradox and tension
between: (a) the joy of being a child and the pain of being treated as an adult; (b)
the strength in resilience and pain in vulnerability; and (c) the enlightenment from
genius being mistaken as incompetence (Brown, 2009).
6. Disciplinary action/sanctioning: For this study, disciplinary sanctioning will be
defined as punitive techniques such as “unpleasant verbal reprimands, ‘‘the evil
eye,’’ proximity control (e.g., standing near the student), and taking away
privileges (e.g., recess) to much harsher forms such as suspension, expulsion,
removal to an alternative education program, and corporal punishment” (Bear,
2010, p.3). Throughout this document, disciplinary action and disciplinary
sanctioning will be used interchangeably.
7. First-year college student: For this study, a first-year college student is a full-time
undergraduate student entering their first year of college directly after graduating
high school.
8. Goodness: For this study, goodness describes the intentional illumination of
positive outcomes and strategies participants utilize to persevere.
9. Policing: For this study, policing will be defined as the constant and overbearing
surveillance and/or monitoring of behavior.
10. Pushout: This term describes how K-12 educational systems can force Black girls
off of their educational trajectories through mechanisms such as criminalization
(M. Morris, 2016).
13 11. Traditional college student: For this study, a traditional college student is a full-
time undergraduate student pursuing their degree under the age of 25 after directly
enrolling into college from high school.
12. Zero-Tolerance Policy: This term can be defined as “school discipline that
imposes removal from school for a broad array of school code violations ranging
from truancy, to violent behavior and even dress code violations” (Losen & Skiba,
2010, p.2).
Research Design
Portraiture methodology (Lawrence-Lightfoot & Davis, 1997) was used to guide this study’s focus on the influence of disciplinary action and policing on the views and experiences Black women have in college recruited from a public, large, university located in the Midwest, Midwestern University (pseudonym). As a methodology, portraiture allows researchers to blend both artistic and empirical points of view to capture the complexity of the human experience (Lawrence-Lightfoot & Davis, 1997).
The use of this methodology intentionally allowed me to choose authenticity as a form of
“researcher reliability” through focusing on documenting and interpreting participant’s perspectives while capturing the specifics of the interview experience to elicit audience familiarity with the Black evolving women of the study (Lawrence-Lightfoot & Davis,
1997). Under the guidance of a critical-constructivist epistemology, I conducted individual and focus group interviews of first-year, college, Black evolving women who have experienced disciplinary sanctioning in their high school educational career.
Participant driven photo elicitation was used as an activity to guide the content explored
14 within the focus group interview. Utilizing the influence of the chosen theoretical frameworks; Black feminist thought, and Black girlhood studies, participants whom identify as Black collegiate women were viewed as the experts of their own experiences and contributors to the development of the study as their stories and photos were analyzed on an on-going basis.
Students from Midwestern University were recruited to participate in three elements of the study: two semi-structured, individual interviews and one focus-group activity and interview. Participants eligible for this study must have identified as first- year college students and, most importantly, Black women who have experienced disciplinary sanctioning or policing in their secondary education. Through a critical- constructivist lens, participants’ reflective stories of their past experiences with discipline in high school aided in highlighting and critiquing institutional oppression that occurs through constant behavioral monitoring and, ultimately, disciplinary action. However, both the participants and I experienced transformation through participation in the study due to the collaborative approach of doing research “with” one another garnering responsibility on both parties to contribute knowledge to the space as experts of our own experiences.
The initial individual interview asked participants specifically about their experiences in high school and the emergence of discipline during this journey. This initial discussion developed context of the environment’s participants navigated during their secondary education and potentially illuminate factors that contributed to their experience with disciplinary sanctioning and policing. Initial interviews were followed by
15 a focus group activity and interview centered around a participant driven photo elicitation. Participants presented a photo of an object that represented or explained how their high school disciplinary experience made them feel. An interview was used to debrief the activity and investigate how participants internalized this experience with discipline. Of the five participants, all provided photos for the focus group activity and four participants were present for the focus group interview. Last, participants completed a follow-up interview to move forward in unpacking how their experience with discipline in high school were showing up in their current collegiate lives and understanding of discipline in college. Questions were also asked about the institutions the participants attend in order to develop more contextual knowledge about their new educational environment. A more detailed description of the methodology and methods of choice is explored in chapter 3.
To complete this study, portraiture methodology was utilized to capture the life experiences of study participants as it related to their experiences in high school and college through the context of discipline. Through the two interviews and a focus group, participants provided me with explicit examples of their high school environments, experiences with discipline, and their current collegiate experience. Data provided was analyzed to illuminate the shared and contrasting experiences across participants’ stories in addition to the development of portraits. Participant portraits are the researcher’s descriptive account of the experience of interacting with and interviewing participants and a slight interpretation of body language and the meaning of stories. Utilizing the
16 Listening Guide, I Poems are created from participants’ interviews to illuminate the story hidden within the story (Gilligan et al., 2003).
Significance of the Study
To date, research on disciplinary action in the K-12 educational system focuses mostly on outcomes related to the school-to-prison pipeline, racial disparities, improving classroom management, and policy reform (Burden, 1995; Lewis, Butler, Bonner II, &
Joubert, 2010; Losen & Skiba, 2010). Accompanied with a limited focus on Black girls as recipients of discipline in K-12 education, limited research captures exactly how Black girls are disciplined and what influence this discipline may have on their desire to pursue a college degree. Several studies admire Black girls for their resilient nature in such daunting spaces in leu of holding institutions accountable for their inequitable structures that trigger a mode of survival (Evans-Winters, 2005; Evans-Winters, 2014; O’Connor,
2002; Paul, 2003). Similar to views of Love (2019), using intersectionality to study the experiences of Black girls and women “does not ignore Black and Brown boys who endure many similar issues; it merely adds complexity to our understandings of how institutions such as public schools are oppressive in different ways to different people”
(p. 6).
This dissertation explored new territory in relation to the aftermath of excessive disciplinary action towards Black girls in relation to their experiences as Black women in post-secondary education. New observations highlighted positive change that occurred with inhabiting new educational spaces and exposed negative instances that have yet to be reported about Black girls’ and women’s relationship with disciplinary action. In
17 terms of implications for practice, research and policy; the pursuit of this study has developed the following: a) identified the potential influence disciplinary action and policing has on the educational trajectory of Black collegiate women, b) provided a more in-depth understanding of the punitive and long-lasting effects disciplinary sanctioning on Black collegiate women, c) suggested policy change in the K-12 educational realm in terms of restorative justice practices and rehabilitation for students versus harsh punishment, d) suggested policy and practice change in higher education that promoted access and transitional support for incoming Black collegiate women, e) suggested policy change in the realm of collegiate conduct to address issues of understanding and bias, and f) expanded the literature on the lived experiences of Black evolving women in college.
Delimitations
In order to narrow the scope of the study, three delimitations were created. First, this study was focused on a particular population of students amongst Black women. I purposefully focused on the experience of women who have had experience with disciplinary action instead of leaving the participant pool open to all Black women. I believe carving a space for this particular population of Black women aids in creating a non-monolithic picture of the experiences of Black women. The current narrative of
Black women in research is one of resilience, motivation, and successful college matriculation and completion. These Black women can be viewed as “the exception” upon entering the academy according to white dominant norms and depictions of who can gain access to higher education. This assumption erases the stories of Black women
18 and girls who have been reprimanded at the expense of their identities and barred from educational access due to perceptions of their capabilities.
Second, this study’s central focus was not that of Black women identity development. When reviewing the literature, many components factor into the behavior some Black girls’ exhibit within the classroom during the K-12 experience. The behaviors that trigger the need for discipline from the perception of teachers and officials are attached to cultural nuances of independence, responsibility, and knowledge creation that is not readily accepted or understood by those outside of Black culture. The perceptions of teachers and officials also can influence how Black girls and women than perceive themselves and their development. Although important to investigate, Porter and
Dean (2015) offered an in-depth look at the identity development of Black undergraduate women that could better articulate the presence of culture in how Black girls and women learn to make-meaning of themselves and the environments they occupy. However, this study only aimed to explore how disciplinary influences the collegiate experiences of
Black women.
Last, this study focused on participants who attended a predominantly white, large, public, research institution. It was intentional for me to sample from one institution to aid in limiting the amount of difference amongst experiences due to institutional type or environment. When considering Bronfenbrenner’s ecological model (1979), students are constantly interacting with their environment in a cyclical nature. Therefore, although told from the perspective of the participants, narratives can be influenced differently by experiences in the surrounding environment. For example, various studies have
19 articulated the distinct positive differences Black student’s experience when attending historically Black colleges and universities in comparison to predominantly white institutions (Fries-Britt & Turner, 2002; Kim, 2002; Kim & Conrad, 2006). In relation to my study, although reflective of past instances, current institutional context was important to the development of participant’s views of higher education and how they connected cues from their current environment to their past experiences with disciplinary sanctioning and policing in high school.
Summary
In this chapter, I discussed what led to my interest in pursuing the topic of the influence of disciplinary action on the view and experiences of first-year Black women in college. Next, I explored the problem statement followed by the purpose of this study.
Within describing the purpose, I shared the research questions and design used to guide this study, including theories of Black feminist thought and Black girlhood. Operational definitions were discussed to help inform readers of terms and their meanings that are essential to this study. Next, I explicitly stated the significance of the research study and the potential developments that could occur from this study. Finally, I closed this chapter by exploring the clear delimitations that will be used to identify what will be explored in this study. The next chapter will explore important literature that provides a foundational understanding of educational attainment for Black girls and women along with factors that can promote or inhibit their aspirations, such as disciplinary sanctioning.
20 Chapter Two: Literature Review
Institutions of education, both secondary and post-secondary, contain unique factors that influence the trajectory of the students that inhabit them. For this dissertation
, it is essential to explore educational experiences of Black girls and women in relation to surrounding contextual factors. A limited amount of literature exists that focused on the experiences of Black girls and women in education and of that literature, the population was written about from a deficit point of view. Therefore, to combat this norm and honor the search for “goodness” in these experiences, I will acknowledge the realities of Black girls and women shared through literature while also expounding on actual positive instances highlighted within studies. I begin this literature review by assessing societal schemas and tropes that are used to define the lives of Black women and girls, discussing educational factors that influence Black girls in the K-12 education system, examining higher education literature about Black collegiate women, and exploring non-educational factors that also influence the educational experiences of the population of study. The literature reviewed in this chapter helps inform the purpose of this study which focused on first-year, Black collegiate women’s experiences with disciplinary action in high school and its influence on their view of and current experience in higher education.
21 The Influence of Black Girl and Women Tropes
As described by Melissa Harris-Perry (2011), societal tropes used to describe
Black women place them in the analogy of a “crooked room.” Black women continuously fight to find their balance within the “crooked room,” but it can be hard to stand up straight. In order to find balance, Black women are left to make the decision that most aligns themselves with the societal tropes to appease the white dominant point of view and survive. The stereotypes that fill these rooms are rooted in historical narratives and roles given to Black women dating back to slavery, which limit the public thought on the value of Black women (Epstein, Blake, Gonzalez, 2017). The unfortunate truth is that no
Black woman is alone in this “room.” There are other Black women there “standing bent, stooped, or surprisingly straight” (Harris-Perry, 2011, p.31). Unfortunately, these stereotypes model perceptions held of Black girls during childhood and adolescence. In this section the following tropes are discussed in relation to societal experiences and views of Black girls and women: Mammy, Sapphire, Jezebel, Strong Black Woman,
Super-Girl, and Black Girl Magic.
Mammy
The caricature of mammy is used to personify the historic domestic roles of Black women to white households over time. Through simple adjectives, mammy can be described as devoted, nurturing, self-sacrificing, and loving. However, these positive attributes are solely reserved for the enjoyment of white families. In addition, her unattractive appearance is important to her identity as the “asexual, omnicompetent, devoted servant” (Harris-Perry, 2011, p.71). As Black girls are given more responsibility
22 within their home environments in the form of caretaking, a display of mammy-like characteristics may plague their thoughts in relation to decision-making. Caring for siblings or providing financially for households can become the main priority for Black girls and a new expectation of family members moving forward (Crenshaw, Ocen, &
Nanda, 2015; Smith-Evans et al., 2014). Therefore, when considering the option of pursuing higher education, Black girls may sacrifice their own needs and desires to maintain their familial role. This choice can manifest as under-matching to local institutions in order to stay close to family, choosing majors based on monetary gain to support family, or the choice to not attend at all. If devotion to family is a strong component to the identity of Black girls, there is possibility that their school choice can be negatively influenced.
Sapphire
Black women described as sapphires, also known as angry Black women, are noted to be more domineering, aggressive, emasculating, and loud (Epstein, Blake,
Gonzalez, 2017). The root of their anger is understood as frivolous as it is the nature of this woman to always be angry. This need for consistent anger eliminates the possibility of sadness for Black women, slowly dehumanizing them (Harris-Perry, 2011). This one- dimensional character exudes less traditional feminine traits and rarely shows any forms of vulnerability or empathy. Being viewed through the lens of sapphire aids in the justified invisibility of Black women until they display behaviors of anger and loudness.
Unfortunately, this perception of irrational anger is projected on to Black girls by teachers and school officials when they attempt to conceptualize their Black femininity in
23 comparison traditional white feminine norms. This misunderstanding can lead teachers and school officials to attribute a lack of traditional femininity and influx of anger and unruliness to the need for discipline and correction (Neal-Jackson, 2018). An increased potential for discipline in relation to the traits of the Sapphire trope can hinder Black girls’ educational growth and lower their educational engagement. Treatment by teachers guided by this trope potentially conclude in a lack of interest in education and the idea of college.
Jezebel
Assumptions made about the sexuality of Black women lead to the trope of
Jezebel. Jezebel is a representation of the hypersexualized image of Black women’s bodies. Characteristics of their identities include seduction and strong tempters of men to expose their weakness. They are visually depicted in current pop-culture as scantily dressed video vixens idolizing men and exchanging their bodies for gain. The hypersexualization of the bodies of Black girls is perpetuated through policies in relation to “appropriate” dress and the ability to punish students for the shapes of their bodies.
Black girls report how instances of constant monitoring and policing of their bodies create hostile and uncomfortable school environments (Smith-Evans et al., 2014). The jezebel trope depicted through pop-culture can encourage the harassment of Black girls in school by peers through the assumption that one can think of Black girls and women synonymously including their innate desires to be only sexual beings. This view of Black girls as simply sexual beings can steer their trajectories towards sex work and trafficking at early ages, removing them from school environments completely (Crenshaw, Ocen &
24 Nanda, 2015; M. Morris, 2016; Smith-Evans at el., 2014). The level of discomfort felt by
Black girls can ultimately lead to decision to no longer to attend school due to safety and eliminate future aspirations to obtain higher education.
Strong Black Woman
This identity is one in which Black women are expected to embody and Black girls aspire to become. The strong Black woman is known to confront all her problems directly while managing the large task of supporting and protecting her family. She sacrifices her well-being in order to provide emotional care to others while keeping a lifted spirit. The ideology of the strong Black woman is one that is viewed positively amongst Black women and especially, amongst the Black community. This myth of always being strong and maintaining a high emotional tolerance can pressure Black women to seek perfection and feel shame when they fall short (Harris-Perry, 2011). For
Black girls, the model of the strong Black woman encourages the development of independence and responsibility. With this growth, Black girls can be described in classroom settings as socially mature and lacking a need for direction or assistance. This myth, therefore, catalyzes the invisibility of Black girl issues leaving them to go unnoticed or addressed (Patton, Haynes, & Croom, 2017). Black girls may address the issues they experience within the school system through support from peer networks or more negatively through rebellion and attention-seeking behaviors in class to avoid being ignored. As for Black collegiate women, Strong Black Woman is both positive and protective in terms of coping but also negative in the fact that it can be sign of poor mental health practices (West, Donovan, & Daniel, 2016).
25 Super-Girl
More recent in development, Super-Girl is a theoretical concept created to explore the shared strength and sadness of Black girls during their educational journeys (Nunn,
2018). Through the use of grounded theory methodology, Nunn (2018) aimed to unpack experiences of gendered racism that Black girls experience in school settings. The use of
“Super” designates Black girls in relation to superheroes as they protect and defend themselves and others while carrying multiple identities (Nunn, 2018, p. 241). Nunn intentionally capitalized the “G” of girl to identify the power Black girls hold in defining themselves in contrast to the negative stereotypes and perceptions hold of them. The development of strength emerges as Black girls continue to self-navigate the educational terrain but accompanies a historical sense of sadness that comes from past pain and the potential of future unfortunate circumstances. The intention of the theory is to expose areas of combined racism and sexism in education and challenge these factors through creating a blueprint towards liberation for Black girls (Nunn, 2018).
Black Girl Magic
The whimsical feeling of Black girl magic exudes positivity as Black girls and women are characterized as always conquering adversity. To embody Black girl magic, means to be seen as ordinary to the naked eye with underlying extraordinariness that emerges in response to trials. Ladson-Billings (2017) articulated Black girl magic in the everyday task Black women accomplish such as feeding families, maintaining and providing shelter, and conserving integrity and dignity in the face of societal efforts to diminish their light through racism and sexism. The capacity of Black girl magic is
26 almost superhuman in comparison to the trope of “strong Black woman” because to have
Black girl magic, one must consistently exceed the expectations of others. Although this aids in the development of high personal and academic aspirations of Black girls, it can also be damaging to Black girl’s ideas around what is deemed successful. Exceeding expectations set before them by teachers and school officials can be achievable but the cost of consistent labor in doing so can be taxing and detrimental to physical and mental well-being of Black girl magic. Although mostly positive in its current use, Black girl magic can create the false of identity of always being the exception.
Black Girls’ Experiences in K-12 Education
The presence of Black girls in educational spaces is readily a form of resistance to a systemically oppressive structure that includes ambiguous disciplinary policies. The oppressive structure is evident in the maltreatment of Black female students before reprimand through silencing in the classroom, exclusion from knowledge, structural barriers to resources, and preconceived notions held about their level of intelligence
(Neal-Jackson, 2018). Essentially, they are judged before they can act through consistent surveillance yet, ironically, ignored for their exceptional academic performance and engagement (Crenshaw, Ocen, & Nanda, 2015; Smith et al., 2014). Researchers are beginning to acknowledge how previous studies admire Black girls for their resilient nature in such daunting spaces without ever holding institutions accountable for their inequitable structures that trigger a mode of survival (O’Connor, 1997; Williams &
Bryan, 2013).
27 Similar to higher education literature, research on Black girls in K-12 education is limited in the point of view taken or experiences explored for this population. Research on Black children in school highlight a lack of successful academic performance due to various factors that are both social and psychological. Related to the higher education literature centered on Black students, Black boys are focused on particularly for the level of difficulties they have within K-12 education. This literature focus translates into a discussion on the school to prison pipeline for Black boys and interventions are then created in order to begin alleviating this prevalent problem. However, the existence of
Black girls and their experiences as successful students are only acknowledged in comparison to Black boys. More research is needed, specifically in the K-12 literature, about the overarching experiences of Black girls in education while also understanding what it takes for Black girls to be successful in school (Neal-Jackson, 2018). The acknowledgment of positivity does not diminish the realities of their experiences and lives. I begin this exploration by discussing educational factors that influence Black girls’ experiences in the K-12 education system including encounters with teachers and school officials, access to resources, and uncomfortable educational environments.
Encounters with Teachers and School Officials
Research shows that the presence and perspectives of teachers and school officials are pertinent to the development and educational experiences of students (Neal-Jackson,
2018). Within the foundational education period of K-12 studies, students begin to develop attitudes to learning, their potential as individuals, and their abilities to excel in the classroom. Therefore, teachers and school officials, particularly guidance counselors,
28 play a critical role in the shaping of behaviors and thoughts about students succeeding in educational spaces and the opportunities they have access to in order to grow.
Unfortunately, most investigations of the experiences of Black girls expose unfavorable and discouraging interactions with teachers or guidance counselors during their educational journeys (Archer-Banks & Behar-Horenstein, 2012; Evans-Winters, 2005; E.
Morris, 2007; Murphy, Acosta, & Kennedy-Lewis, 2013). Neal-Jackson (2018) captured this experience through a culminating review of research conducted on Black girls in K-
12 education.
Specifically, teachers were found to hold negative perceptions of Black girls in the classroom that impacted their interactions and approach to engaging Black girls in the learning environment (Brickhouse, Lowery, & Schultz, 2000; Francis, 2012; West-
Olatunji et al., 2010). To begin, the manner in which Black girls engage with teachers and the classroom environment sometimes differs from the expectations of teachers in terms of appropriate behavior. Being direct, consistently speaking in regard to class topics, and answering questions posed by the teacher seemed to be met with adverse reactions from teachers when Black girls performed these acts (E. Morris, 2007). Morris
(2007) depicted this portrayal in his observation of a teacher threatening to punish a classroom due to the consistent participation of a Black female student in her class. Filled with embarrassment, the female student placed her head down on her desk and disengaged from classroom activities for the rest of the period (E. Morris, 2007). Stories such as these are spread far and wide through K-12 classrooms as some teachers misinterpret the actions of Black girls as disrespectful behavior.
29 Much of the research focuses on how teachers can feel threaten by Black female students because the practice of their femininity does not mirror dominant, white norms on traditional displays of femininity. Essentially, teachers are described as trying to socialize Black girls into "acceptable" behaviors young women should display such as modesty, quietness, and less authoritative (Neal-Jackson, 2018). The method in which
Black girls engage the educational space is viewed domineering causing teachers to use their authority towards Black girls whom they feel are challenging their control (E.
Morris, 2007). However, this idea of children challenging and controlling the space is more so limited to Black girls based on their “adultification” (Ferguson, 2000).
Adultification in relation to Black girls simply put means that Black girls are viewed as more socially mature than peers and therefore, treated differently from other students (E.
Morris, 2007). Although teachers do not directly describe Black girls as adults, the descriptions of their behaviors such as controlling, loud, dominating, or “thinking they are adults too” highlights a parallel to the authority actual adults and teachers, specifically, feel that they should hold in educational spaces (E. Morris, 2007; M. Morris,
2013). The adultification of Black girls can lead to negative instances in their educational development because they become viewed as independent, self-sufficient, and undeserving of help and support (Brickhouse, Lowery, & Schultz, 2000).
The feeling of always being "othered" or ostracized in front peers can lead to not only disengagement from the learning environment but a decrease in sense of belonging.
Morris (2007) discussed how perceptions of teachers led them to ignore Black girls in the classroom environment and fail to support their needs or acknowledge their academic
30 potential. Black girls and students who felt neglected in the classroom were more likely to "act out" or demand the attention of teachers in the classroom through excessive participation and speaking during class. Aside from behavioral perceptions, most teachers were also found to underestimate the academic capabilities of Black girls.
Researchers found that many teachers categorized their Black female students as average students even though these students were performing high-level activities such as teaching materials to their peers, completing their assignments, and scoring well
(Brickhouse, Lowery, & Schultz, 2000; Carter, 2005; Neal-Jackson, 2018; West-Olatunji et al., 2010). Again, when asked about the performance of Black girls in the classroom, teachers focused more on their behaviors and less on the educational contributions they made in classes. In addition, teachers also had limited expectations about the potential of
Black girls regardless of their performance in class.
Tempered Expectations of Black Girls
Most teachers, when asked about a Black female student’s level of attainment, limited their potential to ideas such as vocational tracks, two-year institutions, only high school diplomas and employment (Neal-Jackson, 2018). The influence of these perceptions can potentially be related to the overrepresentation of Black girls in vocational and general education tracks during their K-12 education journeys
(Muhammad & Dixson, 2008). Due to lower expectations, Black girls were found to be less likely recommended or considered for academically rigorous programming such as gifted tracks or advanced placement courses (Campbell, 2012). Secondly, Black girls who attended public schools within more impoverished areas were more likely to have
31 less qualified teachers in their classrooms. The limited access to quality teaching can be considered a hindrance to the academic preparation Black girls need in order to transition more smoothly to institutions of higher education (M. Morris, 2013; Neal-Jackson, 2018;
Smith- Evans, George, Graves, Kaufmann & Frohlich, 2014).
Similar to negative teacher perceptions, hostile dispositions towards Black female students were found in the behaviors of guidance counselors as well. When considering access to institutions of higher education, guidance counselors, precisely at the high school level, can be viewed as gatekeepers for students. Guidance counselors mostly hold the unique position of preparing students for the next stages after their high school careers and introduce the possibility of attending a four-year institution, community college, or vocational school. They also privy to information in regard to how students prepare for their next steps through college preparatory programming and options for funding their education such as grants or scholarships. However, guidance counselors can similarly underestimate the capabilities of Black girls in relation to performed behavior and in result withheld information from this population such as scholarship opportunities, pre-requisite courses for college admissions, or potential advanced course options such dual-enrollment (Hubbard, 2005).
In addition to recommendations and access to opportunities, the ability to engage in such programming may be limited for Black girls creating more barriers to academic development and growth due to a lack of transportation or financial burdens associated with advanced placement courses, required materials such as books, or cost for more private supplemental programming. Specifically, researchers highlighted the importance
32 of extracurricular activity to the academic achievement of K-12 students and how Black girls are underrepresented as participants in said activities (Crenshaw, Ocen, & Nanda,
2015). Overall, women who engage in athletic activities are more likely to excel in and graduate from high school while also performing exceptionally well on standardized tests
(Crenshaw, Ocen, & Nanda, 2015). In addition, Black girls who continue to play sports during their collegiate journey are 27% likely to graduate from college (NCAA Research,
2013).
Although there is a clear acknowledgment of benefits from extracurricular engagement, less focus is placed on the barriers that inhibit Black girls from participating. Crenshaw, Ocen, and Nanda (2015) highlighted that, similar to a lack of adequate teachers, that schools that have high populations of Black female students, more urban and impoverished public schools, lack materials and instructors to lead and maintain extracurricular activities for students to engage in. Also, more social factors also impede their abilities to participate such as familial or care-taking responsibilities
(Crenshaw, Ocen, & Nanda, 2015). Black girls can traditionally be expected to assume the role of caregiver in order to assist their guardians through being available to watch younger siblings or even work to contribute towards household income (Crenshaw, Ocen,
& Nanda, 2015). The pressure to provide for family through financial and emotional support can be a challenging responsibility to balance during the educational journey of
Black girls.
33 Exposure to Disciplinary Sanctioning
When discussing school discipline, the experiences of Black boys inform society’s understanding of who is most often disciplined in school. Although true, in a report constructed by Smith-Evans and colleagues (2014), it was documented that Black girls are suspended six times as often as their peers. Wun (2016) found similar reports in regards to Black girls experience with discipline in comparison to female students of all racial groups and males who identify as white or Asian. The overrepresentation in discipline in comparison to the underrepresentation of Black girls in the general K-12 student population highlights earlier sentiments around teacher and school official bias towards the behaviors of Black girls (Wun, 2016). Studies show that while other students are sanctioned for more concrete offenses, Black girls were found to be punished for more subjective offenses such as being disrespectful, loud, or defiant, which are solely determined at the discretion of those in authority. However, the classroom management practices of teachers in the K-12 system may not include culturally relevant pedagogy on engaging and interacting with students of color, particularly Black girls (Neal-Jackson,
2018). For this reason, Black girls are commonly misunderstood in the area of discipline and are typically forced to disengage from the learning environment which can lead to a decrease in their academic achievement and development of aspirations.
Most disciplinary actions experienced by Black girls develop from the use of zero-tolerance policies (ZTP) in the K-12 system. Current statistics show that Black boys experience at least two to three discipline sanctions while Black girls are disciplined at higher rates than other female students across all racial groups (Hines-Datiri & Carter
34 Andrews, 2017). The severity and persistence of disciplinary actions in this realm of education have been perpetuated by the use of ZTP. Zero tolerance policies can be defined as "school discipline that imposes removal from school for a broad array of school code violations ranging from truancy, to violent behavior and even dress code violations" (Losen & Skiba, 2010, p. 2). Black students who are reprimanded under ZTP are more likely to be removed from classroom learning environments (Hines-Datiri,
2015) and more likely to become soon involved with the juvenile justice system (Carter,
Fine, & Russell, 2014).
When focusing on Black girls specifically, “Black teenage girls represent less than 17% of all female student, they account for 31% of school children referred to law enforcement and 43% of girls who experience school-related arrest” (Wun, 2016, p. 2).
Within Ohio specifically, during the 2012-2013 school year, Black girls were
"disproportionately disciplined for disobedience/disruptive behavior, fighting/violence, harassment, and even truancy" (Smith-Evans et al., 2014, p. 15). These implications have clear consequences on the pursuit of higher education and the ownership of the issue is placed on the students who receive the disciplinary infractions. When considering the influence of disciplinary sanctioning on the educational experiences and aspirations of
Black girls, Monique Morris (2016) coined the term “pushout” to describe how K-12 educational systems can force Black girls off of their educational trajectories through mechanisms such as criminalization through discipline policies.
According to Morris (2013), “Black girls represent the fastest growing population in residential placement and secure confinement and have experienced the greatest
35 increase in the rate of exclusionary discipline” (p. 5). With an increased presence of law enforcement within public schools, students who are reprimanded for behavioral issues or class disruptions also can be arrested on school property (Smith-Evans et al., 2014). Of students disciplined, approximately 43% of Black girls who experience disciplinary action are also arrested for a school-related offense (Smith-Evans et al., 2014).
Dependent upon the level of offense, students can be brought in the juvenile court system and unfortunately, removed from the classroom and learning environment entirely
(Smith-Evans et al., 2014).
Through a case study analysis of Black girls in Northern California, Morris
(2013) found that 88% of the Black girls interviewed from juvenile court schools were consistently reprimanded in school through suspension and 65% of the girls faced expulsion within their districts. Of these girls, educational aspirations and experiences were limited to the juvenile court schools that, similar to issues shared by Black girls in public schools, housed underprepared teachers and curriculums that were not comparable to district high schools the students hoped to transfer (M. Morris, 2013). “Girls who are suspended face a significantly greater likelihood of dropping out of school” (Crenshaw,
Ocen, & Nanda, 2015, p. 24). Although extreme, this example of Black girls subjected to harsh disciplinary action highlight the limited educational opportunities provided to them leading to more limited academic experiences, aspirations and unfortunately, potentially exiting the realm of education entirely.
36 Negative Educational Environments
The increase in security measures within K-12 institutions mentioned can also cause students to feel various levels of discomfort in their school environment. Crenshaw,
Ocen, and Nanda (2015) noted one student who felt discomfort from the presences of metal detectors and being physically patted down before entering school each day. She described the experience as not only intrusive and anxiety-inducing but enough of a threat to lead her ultimately deciding to stop coming to school (Crenshaw, Ocen, &
Nanda, 2015). Although this was one story, it is a very common experience of Black girls who attend more urban, lower-resourced schools. Black girls who are already reprimanded for their behavior felt the pressure of consistent monitoring from teachers and school officials (Neal-Jackson, 2018). Students felt that the main interactions they experienced with teachers were negative based on only being addressed when in trouble.
From this excessive monitoring, students expressed feeling limited in their academic success.
Consistent monitoring within schools not only focused on behaviors but also issues such as inappropriate dress (E. Morris, 2007). Black girls were very clear about the unfair expectations and treatment they experienced in relation to their peers (Neal-
Jackson, 2018). In addition to negative monitoring, some students expressed being monitored and held to the extreme standard of being "role models" for other students.
Although potentially positive, students discussed the pressure they felt as the sole positive representation of Black students and overall, Black girls in school. Some students discussed worrying about how other students would view them based on the
37 positive praise and interactions they were seen having with teachers or school officials.
The concept of “acting white” and being shunned by their peers left them feeling discomfort in educational spaces due to the expectation of positive behavior (Neal-
Jackson, 2018). Rather garnering attention for positive or negative behaviors, Black girls seem to find monitoring as a distraction to focusing on their academic capabilities since they are always approached about their behavior.
Positive Influences
Although more issues and negative instances in relation to Black girl’s educational journeys were shared, researchers also mentioned positive moments Black girls experienced. First, a common theme discussed by most researchers was the importance of peer networks for Black girls to establish goals and ideas of success
(Hubbard, 1999). Within peer networks, students would hold each other accountable for making decisions that aligned with their goals and keep them on track. Hubbard (1999) found that most peer networks, also sometimes difficult to establish, were centered around academic achievement. Students took pride in performing well and identifying individuals who would push them to maintain or enhance their performance. The development of the peer networks, however, were very organic and could potentially be invisible to teachers or school officials. In addition, messaging from teachers can influence who Black girls allow into their peer networks which can be detrimental to relationship building (Eggleston & Miranda, 2009). More research is needed on the ways to help facilitate the construction of peer networks for Black girls specifically as a means of support and empowerment through their educational journeys.
38 A second positive educational factor for Black girls was the presence of supportive teachers. As discussed, Black girls who feel ignored in educational spaces have the potential to act out in class in order to be seen or heard. However, some students expressed positive interactions with particular teachers who met their needs and provided them with support upon request (Evans-Winter, 2005). For some students, the amount of support available was so limited that it was easy to identify individual teachers they knew were accessible and willing to provide support. Support for students included assistance in understanding concepts and listening to student’s academic concerns (Murphy, Acosta,
& Kennedy-Lewis, 2013). Other students also discussed teachers who provided them with genuine encouragement and acknowledgment that allowed them to feel more positive about the academic experiences and capabilities. Unfortunately, although this treatment was an anomaly for some Black girls, this treatment meets the basic expectations and standards of the support teachers should provide to students. The factors explored during the K-12 educational journeys of Black girls set the foundation for their experiences and interactions with post-secondary institutions.
Black Collegiate Women’s Experiences in Postsecondary Education
Informed by the previous literature, many factors from the K-12 system exist in higher education although they manifest differently. In addition, new factors or issues emerge from campus culture and environments presenting Black women with new obstacles and expectations to navigate. Researchers in the realm of higher education have started the conversation on the unique experiences of Black women on college campuses; however, the amount of literature is still limited as illustrated by the 48 articles found to
39 center Black women over the span of 22 years (Patton et al., 2016). Specifically, most research conducted on the success or educational experiences of Black collegiate women focuses on the influence of individual factors instead of exploring institutional responsibility (Winkle-Wagner, 2015). Therefore, more factors that influence the experiences of Black college women could be categorized as non-educational factors. In this section, I will discuss the influence of the overarching educational factor that supports or hinders the academic progression and development of Black women within institutions of higher education: The institutional environment. Within this factor, lack of representation and socialization and acculturation can occur and negatively influence experiences of Black collegiate women as a result of the institutional environment. This section ends by exploring educational factors that have a positive influence on the experiences of Black women.
Institutional Environments
Most research on Black women occupying college campuses is based on their experiences at predominantly white institutions (PWI). Therefore, most of the negative factors discussed come from this lens. For this literature review, the institutional environment includes everything that a college campus can inhabit (e.g., students, faculty, staff, resources, buildings). To begin, researchers have found that Black women experience extreme instances of isolation as they navigate PWI campuses due to being overwhelmingly underrepresented amongst the student and faculty population
(Commodore, Baker, & Arroyo, 2018). The experience of isolation is not limited to certain spaces as it can be apparent in classrooms, residence halls, and common areas
40 across campus (Fosnacht, Gonyea, & Graham, 2020). In addition, the lack of support or understanding from family and friends for Black women can be a harsh reality to manage culturally as most Black families ascribed to more communal values (Winkle-Wagner,
2015).
The development of this isolation begins with the idea of Black women, and
Black students overall, as not deserving of admission to selective PWIs stemming from a history of segregation and general exclusion in education (Commodore, Baker, & Arroyo,
2018). Rooted in disagreement with the use of Affirmative Action in relation to race,
Black students experience being challenged by white peers and faculty about their position in the university and their academic merit (Commodore, Baker, & Arroyo,
2018). Ostracization continues when Black women enter classrooms to find themselves as “the only one” in the learning space (Robinson, Esquibel, & Rich, 2013). This marginalization is even more prevalent in certain academic disciplines such as STEM
(Perna et al., 2009). Similar to the pressure experienced from monitoring for Black girls,
Black women also feel pressure in these uncomfortable spaces when they are expected to represent not only themselves but their entire race and culture (Winkle-Wagner, 2015).
Several racial and gendered microaggressive events are experienced by Black women as they navigate these spaces in order to learn (Commodore, Baker, & Arroyo, 2018). This added stress from existing as one of the few Black students in a predominantly white space can be very distracting from being attentive to academic concerns and needs
(Winkle-Wagner, 2015).
41 In addition to feelings of isolation, studies have shown that amongst Black women at PWIs, competitiveness can develop leading to increased isolation. Littleton
(2003) found that competitiveness stems from there being a small number of Black women present at PWIs. Although peer networks are important for the collegiate success of Black women, the need to be competitive can breed hostile environments for women in need of support (Porter & Dean, 2015). There is potential for competitiveness to develop amongst Black women at different institutional types, but research has yet to be conducted on the level of severity it has on academic outcomes of Black women
(Commodore, Baker, Arroyo, 2018). Black women also have fewer resources on university campuses specific to their experiences and needs. The intersections of their identities can easily be lost amongst various campus resource centers so it is vital to find spaces in which they can bring their whole selves (Winkle-Wagner, 2015). The lack of resources in institutional environments specific to Black women can potentially hinder the development of their academic self-concept (Banks, 2009).
Lack of representation. As alluded to, Black women at PWIs create a small mass of the student population (Bartman, 2015). This small population can be the result from selective institutions requirements and barriers such as standardized testing, lack of college preparatory curriculum exposure, navigation of college applications, and the cost of attending a college or university (Commodore, Baker, & Arroyo, 2018). Besides a potential lack in college preparation, the small population of Black college women can also be related to biases in the recruitment of Black female students held by high school guidance counselors and college admissions recruiters (Neal-Jackson, 2018). Aside from
42 students, the amount of Black women faculty across disciplines is also quite limited
(Kena et al., 2016). According to Kena and fellow researchers (2016), in 2013, Black women made up only 5% of all instructors, 4% of assistant professors, 3% of associate professors, and 1% of full professors. Therefore, if Black collegiate women are seeking mentorship from a Black woman on campus, specifically faculty, there are limits on the number of opportunities (Commodore, Baker, & Arroyo, 2018). Mentorship is important for the success of Black college women in order to aid in the development of their academic self-concepts but also for the potential emotional support provided when mentored by Black women (Bartman, 2015). However, the population of higher education administrators is growing allowing for new sites of potential support to develop for Black women on campus (Winkle-Wagner, 2015). Overall, the importance of representation linked to mentorship possibilities relates to the experiences Black collegiate women have with socialization and acculturation.
Socialization and acculturation. In relation to the influence of the institutional environment, the adjustments that Black women make to “fit” into their surroundings vary. To begin, I would like to provide distinctions between socialization and acculturation for this section. Acculturation is “the process by which an individual learns of and begins to express the values, principles, and behaviors of a group to which the individual does not belong” (Commodore, Baker, & Arroyo, 2018, p.41). When Black women enter college campuses, following typical transition models for all traditional- aged college students, they are expected to relinquish their old values and beliefs in order to make room for the values and beliefs of their new surroundings (Winkle-Wagner,
43 2009). Winkle-Wagner (2015) found that acculturation for Black women can be a fearful process as they worry about their ability to blend in with the surrounding campus population and culture. However, as mentioned, Black women, and Black students generally, come from very familial and communal backgrounds that define the way they make meaning. Therefore, conflict may emerge for Black women as they try to balance their original values with new beliefs gathered from the campus environment (Winkle-
Wagner, 2009). The discrepancy can also lead to tension between Black women and their families if they are perceived as being “too different” or changed (Winkle-Wagner,
2015).
Conversely, socialization can be defined as the combination of symbolic and instrumental acts that are present within an institution and create shared meaning
(Tierney, 1997). These symbolic and instrumental acts are essential to inducting new members into an organization. Organizations, specifically institutions of higher education, maintain various cultures towards the norm of the campus. Black women may experience the socialization once they enter their major or program of study such as pre- medicine, business, or pre-law. However, with relevance to mentorship and student- faculty relationships, students tend to successfully be socialized to their fields of study through the guidance of current members such as faculty or older peers (Twale,
Weidman, & Bethea, 2016; Winkle-Wagner, 2015). This can be an issue from Black collegiate women who experience isolation and alienation amongst faculty or peers in their field (Haynes, Stewart, & Allen, 2016). Similarly, to acculturation, Black women are held to a standard of dominant, white norms when beginning the socialization process
44 during their educational journey leaving them susceptible to academic difficulties or lack of degree completion (Rodgers & Summers, 2008). Difficulties in acquiescing to various socialization processes within institutions of higher education can lead Black women “to self-support and navigate alone through the process” (Phelps-Ward, Allen, & Howard,
2017, p. 55).
Collegiate conduct and discipline. When understanding Black collegiate women’s experiences with discipline and conduct in higher education, there is very limited research. Most studies centered on collegiate discipline and conduct experiences of administrators (Arao, 2017; Negal-Bennett, 2010; Olafson, Schraw, & Kehrwald,
2014; Parnther, 2015), student development from judiciary experiences (Bittinger, Reif,
Kimball, 2018; Howell, 2015; Nelson, 2017), or overarching conduct models (Cooper &
Schwartz, 2007; Dannells, 1997; Stimpson & Janosik, 2015). However, evaluation of student conduct processes and their influence on college student development are limited.
Therefore, it leaves students of color, specifically Black collegiate women exposed to unjust treatment in the college judiciary system and routine discipline practice.
Researchers affirm that the purpose of collegiate discipline is not punitively driven but more so focused on socializing students to adapt to the norms of the collegiate environment (Schuck, 2017). However, studies found that presence of campus police, in addition to student affairs professionals, negatively impacts student graduation rates particularly related to offenses including drugs or alcohol (Schuck, 2017). This could be attributed to the major focus on continuing zero-tolerance policies on college campuses instead of community-based practice. In addition, college campuses with students who
45 were more socioeconomically disadvantaged and less residence life facilities were more likely to have higher percentages of arrest (Schuck, 2017). Although broad, it is important to recognize the large amount of Black students who identify as having low
SES on predominantly white campuses.
In addition, when focused specifically on the practice of student conduct officers on campus, Black students were 7% more likely to have their parents notified of an offense by white staff members and 18% more likely to be sanctioned to take alcohol/drug assessments by non-white administrators in comparison to their white peers
(Starcke & Porter, 2019). However, findings from this study were subjective as researchers used “Black-sounding names” in vignettes to judge the prejudice and bias of student conduct officers. More research, both quantitative and qualitative, is needed to evaluate the sheer numbers of students represent in college conduct cases across the country and their experience of facing accusation while in college. One study that attempted to understand students’ learned perceptions of the judicial process found mixed reviews of their experience including some participants stating that they had learned nothing from the process aside from acting remorseful and telling conduct officers what they want to hear (Howell, 2015). In addition, in Howell’s study, nine out of the ten participants identified as white males.
When reflecting on the stated purpose of collegiate discipline of socialization,
King found that most students found no actual value in being sanctioned in college
(2012). However, similar to Howell (2015), 85% of participants identified as white and
0.6% identified as Black. Therefore, in terms of collegiate conduct, research
46 demonstrates discrepancies in the expected outcome of discipline and the student experience. What is even more concerning and relevant to this study is the lack of attention to the experiences and perspectives of Black students and specifically, Black women. As it stands, institutions are actively engaging in conduct and judiciary practices that may counter their attempts of equity and inclusion based on who is sanctioned and their experiences within the judiciary system. However, this issue remains invisible and institutions avoid responsibility due to the lack of research in this area.
Positive Influences
Almost analogous to the experiences of Black girls, Black women find positive support and experiences in relation to the factors of mentorship, specifically including student-faculty relationships and peer networks. In addition to these shared factors is the importance of institutional type on the experiences of Black women in college. Many studies have concluded that Black women are generally more pleased with their educational experience when attending historically Black colleges and universities
(HBCUs) in comparison to PWIs (Winkle-Wagner, 2015). Attending HBCUs has a positive influence on the racial identity development of Black students and lessens the possible discomfort in the acculturation to the campus environment (Seymour & Ray,
2015). There is also a stronger presence of Black faculty creating more pathways to racially aligned mentoring experiences (Seymour & Ray, 2015). In addition, the experiences of HBCU women colleges may also increase positivity in educational experiences of Black women due to the recognition of both their racial and gender identities (Commodore, Baker, & Arroyo, 2018).
47 As mentioned, mentorship is a crucial component for success in the lived educational experiences of Black women. Mentorship specifically provides Black women with clear guidance and understanding of new environments and cultural norms to assist their navigation. Unique to mentorship relationships between Black women is the presence of “other mothering” in which mentors can take on or be viewed in a familial role to students and provide a sense of comfort in their new collegiate environment
(Guiffrida, 2005; McCallum, 2020; Winkle-Wagner, 2015). However, this does not suggest that Black women are unsuccessful when mentored by non-Black women or men.
In relation to mentorship is the importance of student-faculty relationships for Black college women. The development of a relationship with faculty allows for Black women to have a more formal sense of mentorship that allows for ease in field-specific socialization (Bartman, 2015). Nonetheless, studies show that Black women may find difficulty in developing these relationships due to differential treatment which also signifies the importance and need for outside mentorship opportunities for Black women
(Suarez et al., 2003).
Finally, Black women find much success and support in being involved with peer networks on the collegiate level. Peer networks can vary in the forms of friendships, formal or informal student organizations, or sororities. Black women are positively pushed and encouraged to grow cognitively by their peer networks (Winkle-Wagner,
2015). In addition, involvement in peer networks aids in the removal of issues such as isolation and discomfort within the campus community by developing a sense of belonging for students of color (Strayhorn, 2019). As noted by Porter and Dean (2015)
48 “feeling part-of-a-bigger-whole” and being in community with other Black women help lighten the burden of continually navigating issues experienced during the educational journeys of Black women (p. 23). The importance of Black women having peer networks highlights the need for this population to find educational spaces that exude communalism (Shavers & Moore, 2014).
The Influence of Non-Educational Factors on the Experiences of Black Girls and
Women
In contrast to educational factors that can potentially support or hinder the educational experiences of Black girls and women, there are non-educational factors that consistently have negative influences. The non-educational factors more so exist within the home and surrounding communities of Black girls and women. Although Black girls and women can leave spaces in pursuit of education, the repercussions of experiences can follow them and extend from one educational journey to the next. Therefore, in this section, I will discuss the non-educational factors that affect the educational experience of Black girls and continue on to influence their collegiate journeys: familial obligations, parental relationships, interpersonal relationships, and psychological stressors.
Familial Obligations
It is common for Black girls and women to experience the responsibility of caring for others (Smith-Evans et al., 2014). The introduction to this new familial role can begin as early as primary or secondary schooling dependent on family structure. Aligned with the Mammy trope, these obligations include but are not limited to looking after younger siblings, caring for elders of the family, or also providing financial support for the
49 household (Smith-Evans et al., 2014). In each role, Black girls and women experience limited childhood as they are forced to mature quickly to take on adult-like demands.
From these experiences, Black girls and women, collectively, have limited participation in extra-curricular activities that can be pertinent to their academic development and future opportunities (Smith-Evans et al., 2014). In addition to the caretaking of siblings, studies find that Black girls may experience higher susceptibility to early pregnancy during high school through college (Crenshaw, Ocen, & Nanda, 2015). For girls in secondary education, early pregnancy can lead to exiting high school prematurely due to lack of support and resources such as childcare (Crenshaw, Ocen, & Nanda, 2015).
Similarly, Black college women who are mothers may also consider leaving college or pausing their educational to care for their child although some studies found it to be a source of motivation to graduate (Sealey-Ruiz, 2007).
Parental Relationships
Studies have discovered conflicting findings around the influence of parental relationships on the educational experiences and, more so, aspirations of Black girls and women. For girls in secondary education, parental relationships can be encouraging for the achievement of educational success (Carter, 2005; Eggleston & Miranda, 2009;
Smith, 2008). However, parents of Black girls from low-income backgrounds may have limited academic engagement with their children due to working full or over time
(Archer-Banks & Behar-Horenstein, 2012; Smith, 2008). Smith (2008) described Black parents to fall into three categories during the college choice process of Black girls: those who believe attendance is automatic, encourage students to exceed their own level of
50 education or discourage the pursuit of education (p. 149). This categorization displays the number of potential influence parents can have on the educational trajectory of their children. More positively, parental relationships for Black college women can provide comfort as they navigate stressful events and adjustment issues during their collegiate journey (Love, 2008; Porter, Green, Daniels, Smola, 2019).
Interpersonal Relationships
An unfortunate finding of research on the experiences of Black girls is the likelihood of them experiencing some form of interpersonal violence (sexual assault, trauma, harassment, sex trafficking, physical altercations, etc.) at a young age (Crenshaw,
Ocen, &Nanda, 2015; Smith-Evans et al., 2014). Smith-Evans and colleagues (2014) reported that 56% of Black school-aged girls report experiencing sexual harassment whether it be at home or on school property. In addition, a report conducted found that
67% of African American girls in a survey reported being touched, grabbed or pinched in a sexual way during school (Smith-Evans et al., 2014). The danger of interpersonal relationships also includes physical altercations in which Black girls report the highest rates of “being threatened or injured with a weapon on school property” (Smith-Evans et al., 2014, p. 21). Each instance of current or past trauma from interpersonal violence relates to Black girls decreased interest in school, educational achievement, but increase in behavioral issues and disciplinary issues (Crenshaw, Ocen, & Nanda, 2015). Untreated through counseling can cause Black girls to harbor these experiences and emotions during their collegiate journeys if they decide to continue their education.
51 Psychological Stressors
Emotional distress from stressful events and environments can affect both Black girls and women in different ways. For Black girls, psychological stressors can go unnoticed depending on counseling resources available to them. Aside from negative interpersonal relationships at school and home, psychological stress can occur for Black girls and women in relation to race. Claude Steele’s (1995) concept of stereotype threat can be experienced by Black girls and women within classroom environments. As described, Black girls and women may feel pressure to “prove-them-wrong” in order to separate themselves from common stereotypical ideologies their peers, teachers, or faculty members hold of them (Shavers & Moore, 2014).
The presence of stereotypes in the classroom can also cause for Black girls and women to experience microaggressive behaviors that can distract their learning and educational growth (Commodore, Baker, & Arroyo, 2018). Black college women have been found to suffer from racial battle fatigue in predominantly white settings in which they are always defending their existence, challenging negative views, and viewed as a representation of their race (Commodore, Baker, & Arroyo, 2018). Experiences with racism have also been found to impact the identity development of Black students as they seek to develop a deeper understanding of self (Commodore, Baker, & Arroyo, 2018).
Although we are aware that Black girls and women experience challenges with mental health, there is still a negative stigma in the Black community on the seeking professional help (Commodore, Baker, & Arroyo, 2018; Crenshaw, Ocen, & Nanda, 2015; Winkle-
Wagner, 2015). This is especially difficult for Black women who hold the “strong Black
52 woman” schema (Commodore, Baker, & Arroyo, 2018). In relation to student transition models, more research is needed on the specific experiences of Black collegiate women to inform new models of “successful” student transition that accounts for both educational and non-educational contextual factors.
Summary
Informed by the literature review, there is more room to learn more about the educational experiences of Black girls and women. From what is known, there is a clear connection between societal tropes of Black girls and women and their lived experiences in education documented through research. Experiences shared in literature of Black girls in education are similar to those of Black collegiate women although they may manifest differently. In each educational setting, contextual factors exist that influence the experiences of Black girls and women, however, there is still more to be learned from an asset-based approach that identifies what is working for Black girls and women in education in order to allow society to view this population as “possibility models”. In addition, more research is needed to understand the potential positive influence of non- educational factors on the experiences of Black girls and women. Most importantly, more research is needed to explore the relationship between disciplinary experiences of Black girls and women and their connection to their experiences in higher education. With the limited research present, this dissertation study addresses this gap in the literature. In the following chapter, elements of the study’s methodology such as guiding theoretical frameworks, data collection, and analysis will be shared.
53 Chapter Three: Methodology
In this chapter, I will review the methodological design for this dissertation study.
The purpose of this study was to explore first-year, Black collegiate women’s experiences with disciplinary action and policing in high school and its influence on their perceptions of and current experience in higher education. The study utilized a qualitative research design, specifically using portraiture, a creative process of recording participants’ narratives as layered stories to articulate the human experience (Hill-
Brisbane, 2012). I begin the chapter by discussing how epistemological frameworks, constructivist and critical, were used in tandem to construct my methods for data collection and analysis. Next, Black Feminist Thought and Black girlhood were reviewed to articulate how these theoretical frameworks were used to inform how I engaged the population of study, Black collegiate women. I, then, share the methods I used to identify and recruit sample of participants and pursue data collection and analysis. Finally, the chapter closes with a discussion of my positionality as a researcher followed by tools to ensure trustworthiness and an assessment of potential ethical considerations. To embark on this journey of understanding the potential connection between high school disciplinary sanctioning and experience in higher education, I asked the following research questions:
1. What stories do first-year, Black collegiate women tell about their experiences
with disciplinary sanctioning and policing in high school? 54 2. What messages shaped participants’ views and perceptions of higher education?
3. How did experiences with disciplinary sanctioning and policing in high school
influence participants’ views on higher education?
4. How does past disciplinary sanctioning influence Black collegiate women’s
current experiences in college?
Through these research questions, my goal was to understand how disciplinary sanctioning informs Black collegiate women’s perceptions and current experience of higher education. My first research question was used to investigate how Black girls reflect on their experiences with disciplinary sanctioning in high school. The second question was used to gauge what messages they received about pursuing a college degree.
The last two research questions were the heart of this study by exploring how their experience of disciplinary action influenced the view first-year, Black collegiate women hold of college and their current educational experiences in higher education.
Epistemological Framework
Jones, Torres, and Arminio (2014) defined epistemology as “assumptions about the acquisition of knowledge” (p. 10). In relation to the purpose of this study, constructivist and critical epistemologies are particularly important in terms of my position as the researcher and the intentionality of bringing a better understanding to an oppressive societal structure and policies such as K-12 education and disciplinary sanctioning. In line with a constructivist and critical epistemology, my approach to research is influenced by Black feminist thought through the belief that a better understanding of the lived experiences of Black women can only come from authentic
55 collaboration with Black women themselves in research (Collins, 2000). In the following sections, I will explore both constructivist and critical epistemology and their collective usage to appropriately conduct my research and data analysis. Following, I describe the theoretical frameworks that guided the study.
Constructivist Epistemology
Constructivist epistemological perspectives are inherently opposite from post- positivist beliefs of objectivity and one ultimate truth (Jones et al., 2014). When understanding constructivism, how an individual forms knowledge about the world becomes less objective and more centered around interactions between people and the world (Crotty, 1998). These interactions that develop and perpetuate knowledge are also based on the particular social context that the knowledge creators inhabit (Jones et al.,
2014). In terms of methodology, constructivist researchers aim to create knowledge through the research process alongside their participants. Research is no longer conducted about a specific population but, instead, conducted with the population of interest as contributors to the development of knowledge. The intention of conducting research is to improve current practices through the outlook of participants experiencing a certain phenomenon (Jones et al., 2014).
This process is essential for my study as I aim to not only better understand the potential influence disciplinary action has on the perceptions Black evolving women have of higher education but also as a means to propose changes to disciplinary policies that would cause less harm to Black girls and their educational development. Aligned with
Black Feminist Thought, constructivism also acknowledges that truth comes from the
56 experiences of participants or described by Collins (1998) as “Black women having a self-defined standpoint on their own oppression” (p. 747). Within this study, it was important for me to focus on collecting various forms of data, interviews, and reflective activities that highlighted the authentic experiences of the Black evolving women to illustrate their ways of knowing and processing of knowledge (Collins, 2000). The trustworthiness of my study was also dependent upon collaboration amongst researcher and participants to ensure that the data collected on “the phenomenon occurring within a bounded context” are not lost in analysis (Merriam, 1998, p. 27).
Critical Epistemology
Critical epistemology serves to acknowledge the flaws that can potentially emerge when interpreting knowledge or truth (Jones et al., 2014). Although critical theory can emerge from constructivist epistemology, critical epistemology calls for a clear evaluation of the dismal and sometimes illusive nature of societal structures (Jones et al.,
2014). As defined by Kincheloe (2005), “critical theory is concerned with extending a human’s consciousness of himself or herself as a social being in light of the way dominant power operates to manage knowledge” (p. 10). Following this belief articulates the main purpose of critical epistemology, liberation. In relation to my topic, a critical perspective was appropriate to critique current oppressive structures such as school discipline policies in educational spaces and explore their influence on the experiences of first-year Black collegiate women.
Due to covertly gendered racism exercised through disciplinary policy and excessive monitoring of Black girls’ bodies and behaviors, Black girls are left to be
57 recipients of unfair and unsafe treatment. However, liberation can emerge from acknowledging Black girls’ ways of knowing when developing policy within the educational system and ensuring foundational pieces such as inclusion and equity are discussed at the forefront of policy writing. Current education policies are written and interpreted so broadly, specifically in the realm of discipline, that they perpetuate negative stereotypes and tropes of how Black girls and women have been characterized to move through the world. There is a clear need to complicate this traditional approach to policymaking in order to encompass the unique needs of Black girls and women
(Smooth, 2013). The typical oppressive nature of the world needs challenge as it can skew what is perceived as truth. Strongly influenced by the works of Freire, one must approach research, education, and the like as not just interactions individuals experience in reaction to the world, but as proactive choices individuals make while navigating the world (Freire, 1970; as cited in Shor, 1993). Understanding the lived experiences of
Black girls and women inform what knowledge we currently have about this population.
With the knowledge constructed through critical epistemology, discussion and action become feasible in order to evoke change (Jones et al., 2014). From this study, change to disciplinary policies that inherently target Black girls in educational spaces are suggested in order to alter potential negative perceptions developed about potential experiences in higher education.
Critical Constructivist Epistemology
The usage of critical constructivist epistemology supports the creation of knowledge that not only critiques the oppressive nature of the world but also causes self-
58 reflection. In this reflection, one acknowledges how what they perceive as knowledge is constructed and influenced by society (Kincheloe, 2005). Therefore, I believe that the responsibility of the researcher is to, first, evaluate their own positionality in relation to the topic of interest. In doing so, one may be able to clearly locate bias during each phase of the research process. Abes (2009) also supports this notion of combining epistemologies on the basis that when standing alone, all epistemologies are incomplete.
Building upon Gloria Anzaldua’s groundbreaking work on borderland theory, theoretical borderlands articulates the need to engage in bricolage of perspectives in order to understand the complexity of society through research (Abes, 2009). For this particular study, the perspective of critical constructivism supports an interpretive nature of analyzing lived experiences of Black evolving women in education to critique the residual oppression of school disciplinary policies on their views of college and experience within institutions of higher education.
Although constructivism is a beneficial approach to avoid limiting the perspectives and voices of study participants, participants of the study may not be aware of what outside forces or societal structures indirectly influence their everyday existence.
Therefore, the inclusion of critical perspective to the research approach allows for the researcher to analyze more insidious structures that create oppressive experiences. The most common example in current research is the connection between the perceived behavior of Black girls in the classroom and the amount of subjective disciplinary actions they receive (E. Morris, 2007). A student can be misled to believe that their disciplinary sanctioning is solely based on their individual responsibility without considering the
59 presence of negative stereotyping in relation to tropes of Black women and the adultification of girls. Therefore, critical constructivist epistemology calls for the participant and researcher to be active members of the research process through the self- reflection of participants and the critical analyses of shared information in context by the researcher.
Guiding Theoretical Framework
In the development of this study, two theoretical frameworks were used to inform the construction of this study; Black Feminist Thought (BFT) and Black Girlhood. Black feminist thought was utilized to ensure that each element of this study design centered the experiences of Black collegiate women. In addition, contours used to identify methods that would allow for acknowledging participants as experts and honored their ways of knowing. In addition to BFT, Black girlhood was used to counteract the potential adultification of participants. Through specific methods used to recognize of Black girlhood, various guidelines were reflected upon to inform practice as a researcher intentionally engaging with participants to produce research. The following section summarizes important characteristics of each framework that have specifically informed this study.
Black Feminist Thought
To explore the experiences of Black evolving women, Black feminist thought
(BFT) was used to inform the overall research design of this study. As described by
Patricia Hill Collins (1989), Black feminist thought specializes in formulating and rearticulating the distinctive self-defined points of view of Black women. In this regard,
60 Black women are the experts of their own oppression and offer a different view of experiences within particular structures such as political, educational, or economical systems and how these experiences catalyze a unique development of consciousness.
Black women’s self-definition challenges the power of controlling negative images attached to them by validating the power of Black women as human subjects (Collins,
1986). This form of independent thinking threatens the internalization of societal norms which cause more powerful groups to find ways to suppress the utility of this thinking in the lives of Black women in order to maintain control and dominance.
Collins (1989) described Black feminist thought as constructed through contours that shape ways of knowing for Black women: a) the use of knowledge and wisdom; b) the use of dialogue; c) the ethic of care; and d) the ethic of personal responsibility. The use of knowledge and wisdom, as described by Collins, is unique for Black women as knowledge is not enough for their survival (1989). Within the Black community, previous experiences develop one’s wisdom in determining how to navigate the world and wisdom is recognized as more valid then mere knowledge gained from absorbing text. In order to develop new knowledge, there is a necessary component of connectedness that is essential to validate the developing knowledge amongst Black women through dialogue
(Collins, 1989). However, the ethic of care highlights how the validation of knowledge cannot be separated from “the value of an individual’s expressiveness, the appropriateness of emotions, and the capacity for empathy” (Collins, 1989, p. 767). Most importantly, Black women have a personal responsibility for the knowledge they develop
61 and possess as this knowledge is viewed as connected to their personal values, morals, and beliefs (Collins, 1989).
When conducting research on the lived experiences of Black women, it is imperative to understand the ways of knowing that define those experiences. In qualitative research, we often try to find themes and similarities amongst a group of participants but sometimes this causes individual narratives to lose their authenticity. For example, in the case of studying Black women, we do more harm than good by generalizing their experiences and not acknowledging their unique positioning within their stories if we grouped them within a larger population. Black feminist thought helps to articulate the presence of a common experience shared by Black women while also emphasizing the unique perspective of individual women. It is also empowering by clearly stating that all knowledge produced about Black women, even when written by others, still need the Black women’s experiential knowledge as the foundation for validity. This knowledge is used by Black women to navigate societal structures that are oppressive by nature and this knowledge of survival is shared amongst a community.
Through this point of view, Black women are acknowledged as the authors and owners of their own oppression with the ability to define themselves in spite of experiences with oppression. Okello (2018) expands BFT into the realm of student development theory by identifying this point of view as “self-definition” in relation to the foundational self- authorship theory. Therefore, the acknowledgement of participants’ self-definitions aligned with the liberatory nature of this critical constructivist study.
62 This framework can be categorized as critical in nature due to its challenge to dominant norms of white individuals being in control of the creation of knowledge and the gatekeepers of who can introduce new and valid knowledge. To articulate the importance of BFT in addressing patriarchal, racist, and sexist forms of oppression within education, Collins (1989) explains how the knowledge validation process for all scholars in education is based in Eurocentric, masculine points of view. The politics of who can produce knowledge and remaining valid in controlling the dissemination of knowledge favor white male norms that, in turn, suppress Black female scholars. The usage of BFT centers Black women to identify interlocking systems of oppression (Collins, 1989).
Through identification, these systems can then be challenged by honoring the experiences of Black women as factual and worthy of validation.
Approaching Black Girlhood
In efforts to avoid the potential adultification of participants currently and as they relived their past experiences in high school, it was necessary to incorporate the theory of
Black girlhood. The use of Black girlhood allows space for Black girls to be seen as children who can make mistakes without being held to the standards of adult women.
When approaching this study form the mindset of Black girlhood, as a researcher, I was better positioned to empathize with participants and their stories instead of reproducing the harsh judgments and treatment they previously experienced. To develop a culture of embracing Black girls and acknowledging the validity and existence of Black girlhood, scholars of Black girlhood studies have developed collectives and practices specific to centering Black girls as knowledge producers. “Saving Our Lives, Hear Our Truths”
63 (SOLHOT) serves a creative space for Black girls and women to inhabit in the name of uplifting Black women and girlhood through acceptance of the whole self. Second, Black girl reliability is a practice used through interaction with Black girls to articulate important ways to create and be present in spaces that center the lived truths and experiences of Black girls. The usage of Black girl reliability will be discussed further in the chapter in relation to the trustworthiness techniques utilized in this study. SOLHOT will be described to better understand ways suggested for researchers to formally and informally immerse themselves in the study of Black girls.
Approaching Black Girlhood Through SOLHOT
Created by Dr. Ruth Nicole Brown (2009), SOLHOT is described as political project that focuses on centering the experiences of Black girls. SOLHOT specifically
“values the contradictions, paradoxes, and truths that emerge from articulating Black girl celebration as a worthwhile goal” (Brown, 2009, p. 1). Brown’s project includes the gathering and collaboration of Black girls, families, and scholars in order to reimagine the genius complexity of Black girls. The purpose of SOLHOT connects to the need of shifting the view of Black girls in research from deficit-narratives to more asset-based life possibilities. Including the use of music, art, poetry, and dance as forms of free expression, SOLHOT is a significant space for Black girl learning and development. As eloquently described by poet Nikki Finney (2009), SOLHOT is “the meeting house, where the soul and the eyes of Black girls connect.” Tangible steps for creating a positive atmosphere through SOLHOT begins with following a particular analog that focuses on unlearning projected societal norms on the treatment of Black girls.
64 The analog of SOLHOT engages committed individuals in the “practice of being with the girls to envision freedom” (Kwayke, Hill, & Callier, 2017, p. 2). Within this practice is the vow to not inflict Black girls with difficulties and experiences of our own past. To facilitate the creation of a new normal, Black girls are not silenced, policed, or shamed for the way they navigate and interact with their environments (Kwayke, Hill, &
Callier, 2017). Also, individualism is not an option as collective work and responsibility amongst those in the space facilitate a learned experience and growth. When considering this analog in terms of conducting research, SOLHOT principles outline the responsibility of the researcher to be more intentional in their approach of data collection from Black girls through the development of thoughtful surveys, interview protocols, or observations. The mechanism of being with Black girls also highlights the significance of including Black girls in the analysis of data and in the review of research interpretations to ensure an accurate and collective depiction of their shared lived experiences. The intentionality used to center and engage with participants’ stories throughout the entire research process were informed by SOLHOT for this study.
Methodology
Qualitative research methods are essential and necessary to the world of scholarship to illuminate unique yet similar circumstances of a particular population that cannot be captured just with numbers. The ability to analyze and interpret words into new meanings contributes new language and points of view on issues that may plague the population of study. Qualitative research is especially useful when collaborating with marginalized populations whose stories are typically limited in quantity or skewed in
65 research. In addition, the methodology of portraiture, specifically, was imperative in the exploration of this topic in order to develop an authentic foundation for this new space in research.
Portraiture
“I was never treated or seen as object, but always as a person of strength and vulnerability, beauty and imperfection, mystery and openness” (Lawrence-Lightfoot,
1997, p. 4). The artistic nature of portraiture is evident when reflecting on the way Sara
Lawrence-Lightfoot describes her experience with an artist creating her portrait. The artist was meticulous in capturing every part of who she was in an image. There was no right or wrong in the story told but more so, contours and folds that could potentially contradict each other, and yet, told the authentic truth of who she was in that moment.
This experience unlocks the true essence of portraiture methodology, researchers critically representing participants and their experiences through the lens of empathy and subjectivity (Dixson, Chapman, & Hill, 2005). This essence is what guided this dissertation study.
The development of portraiture methodology can be attributed to Sara Lawrence-
Lightfoot’s (1983) awarded winning research entitled The Good High School: Portraits of Character and Culture. Through her study Lightfoot introduced how the use of artistic portraits in her life informed a new methodology to expose the essence of human experience. However, in addition to a different methodology, Lawrence-Lightfoot (1983) also wanted to evoke the use of “finding goodness” in research as a counter to the pathology and pessimistic stance of most studies . With the utilization of portraiture,
66 Lightfoot was able to illuminate elements of six high-achieving high schools to explore the realities of these educational institutions and those who inhabit them. The purpose of this study was to try to develop a context for what works in order to inform praxis for other schools rather than highlight their suffering or failures. From this research, portraiture was birthed and eventually, evolved through collaboration with Jessica
Hoffman Davis (1997) to develop a guide for portraiture methodology, The Art and
Science of Portraiture.
When described, portraiture is seen as a blend of multiple qualitative methodologies, ethnography, phenomenology, and narrative inquiry, that allow for both an artistic and empirical approach to research (Dixson, Chapman, & Hill, 2005; Hill-
Brisbane, 2012). As a challenge to the positivist view to what is defined as “research,” those who use portraiture methodology believe that engaging in this form of qualitative research is both science and art that cannot be separated (Lawrence-Lightfoot, 1997).
Therefore, it can be used to problematize and address the world’s issues through the goal of intervening, helping and healing those in need (Lawrence-Lightfoot, 1997). In addition, portraiture acknowledges the presence of researchers and allows for their experiences to be a part of the research in order to challenge the power dynamic between researcher and participants. Throughout portraiture studies, both researchers and participants are seen as contributors to the development of knowledge based on the lived experiences they bring to the study (Dixson, Chapman, & Hill, 2005).
Described as a more radical approach to research, portraiture methodologists are expected to imagine more for their participants, research, and overall, field of study in
67 order to evoke liberation and change (Lawrence-Lightfoot, 1997). Through an asset- based lens, researchers focus on representing the overarching story in a way that arouses emotions from readers. Therefore, the focus of the study is not to maintain an “inner circle” conversation amongst those in your field but to produce practical research that can readily be understood broadly to make change (Lawrence-Lightfoot, 1997). However, with the expectation of practical change comes large ethical responsibility of authentically (re) presenting participants’ stories entrusted to the researcher. Undertaking this responsibility should produce an outcome of social transformation for the researcher and participant through the use of dialogue and actively listening to and interpreting the story within the stories participants share (Lawrence-Lightfoot, 1997).
Elements of Portraiture
Portraiture methodology consist of five elements: context, voice, relationship, emergent themes, and aesthetic whole. The following sections describe each element of portraiture and its presence within this dissertation study.
Context. When developing a portrait, researchers need to understand the context of the participants’ experience. Specifically, the element of context speaks to the understanding how surrounding environments and circumstances frame the experiences of participants within the research site (Hill-Brisbane, 2012). Developing a context for participants’ experiences allows researchers to develop rich descriptions of factors that may influence thoughts and actions participants share or display. In addition, there are various types of context for researchers to consider during data collection and analysis
(Lawrence-Lightfoot, 1997). In relation to this study, historical and personal context were
68 very important for the interpretation of data collection. Historical context includes the exploration of the origins of a participant’s history in order to understand the evolution of their experience. For this study, the historical context of participants’ high school experiences was explored through interviews in order to develop context around the nature of their discipline. In addition, experiences with family and family history emerged in some participants’ stories in order to provide me with context about their backgrounds and ways of knowing.
Voice. The most essential element to portraiture methodology is voice. Within this element, the researcher and participants’ voices are both important to the research and the development of portraits through a) voice as autobiography and b) voice in dialogue. Voice as autobiography speaks to how the researcher’s voice is connected to their own experiences that influence the interest in the topic of study. With this in mind, it is necessary to share their experiences that relate to the study topic and what evoked their pursuit of the study (Lawrence-Lightfoot, 1997). Researcher’s voice is key to the interpretation of participants’ stories as they develop portraits of their understandings of participants and their experiences. Therefore, the job of the researcher is not only to monitor their own voice, but also look for the participant voice through what is shared orally but also physically and emotionally. However, to gain stories for analysis, voice in dialogue is utilized by researchers to engage participants in discussions that conjure stories to develop portraits (Hill-Brisbane, 2012). For this study, voice in dialogue was demonstrated through both informal and formal conversations between me and participants and also, amongst participants within a focus group discussion. Voice in
69 dialogue is the core of portraiture as the dialogue allows researchers to gain access to stories, examine patterns across participant stories, and influence researcher interpretation of data (Hill-Brisbane, 2012; Lawrence-Lightfoot, 1997).
Relationship. The element of relationship emphasizes the importance of rapport building between researcher and participants in order to develop a genuine relationship and interest in participants as humans not subjects (Lawrence-Lightfoot, 1997). When a less sterile relationship is developed between the two parties, researchers have the responsibility to handle participants and their stories with a higher ethic of care and empathy. Through this extra lens of understanding, researchers are expected to be able to identify the goodness within participants’ stories. Within portraiture, goodness is the intentional illumination of positive outcomes within a story. With goodness, it is important for a research to share what works or how participants persevere instead of harping on issues that participants face. As goodness is key to portraiture, relationship is then vital for humanizing participants and allowing participants to see beyond what participants share as their experiences (Hill-Brisbane, 2012). For example, when engaging with participants who blamed themselves for discipline or used self-deprecating language to describe themselves, the relationship we formed made space for me to affirm their experiences and provide words of encouragement and also shared experiences. In addition, relationship also made space for having intentional informal conversations with participants as a form of reciprocity in providing support for their academic needs outside of the context of an interview.
70 Emergent themes. Similar to the way themes are typically described in qualitative analysis, themes should also emerge from participants’ stories and portraits.
Emergent themes in portraiture, however, are centered around common patterns or metaphors heard amongst participants’ stories. To verify the presence of an emergent theme, researchers need to ensure using triangulation amongst data collection methods to help illuminate patterns, metaphors, or the consistent mentioning of contextual factors such as cultural or institutional rituals within participants’ experiences (Hill-Brisbane,
2012). Specifically, for this dissertation study, emergent themes from participants’ portraits are further described in Chapter Five.
Aesthetic whole. Although each element of portraiture can be discussed separately, aesthetic whole represents how each element fits together to create a bigger picture (Lawrence-Lightfoot, 1997). The aesthetic whole represents the culmination of portraiture methodology where science and art meet to develop a rigorously developed narrative that is rich in description and tells a captivating story to audience readers.
Within the aesthetic whole four parts need to be present: conception, structure, form, and cohesion (Hill-Brisbane, 2012; Lawrence-Lightfoot, 1997). A portrait constructed as an aesthetic whole tells an overarching story (conception) in sequence of layered themes
(structure) to illuminate the developing participant narrative (form) with authenticity and integrity (cohesion). For this dissertation study, an aesthetic whole was developed for each participant to represent the unique story their shared across each point of data collection.
71 Sampling Criteria and Strategy
Participants for this study were recruited from a large, research, public institution in the midwestern region of the United States, Midwestern University. Criteria for participation in this study was limited to:
1. Participants who self-identify as Black women.
2. Participants who have experienced disciplinary sanctioning during their secondary
education.
3. Participants who are classified as first-year, traditional aged college students.
4. Participants who are enrolled as students of a large, midwestern university.
First, it is important in this research study to honor Black women by allowing them to self-identify as Black to participate in the study. This allowed for participants to have agency and ownership over their racial identity within this study. Second, in order to adequately explore the experience of disciplinary sanctioning, students had to have memories to reflect on about their encounters with sanctioning during their high school journeys. Next, it was important for participants to be able to recall their experiences of disciplinary sanctioning in high school and therefore, I identified first-year students as more likely to have close to accurate recollections of these experiences. Finally, sampling participants from one institution aided in removing the variability of environmental context amongst participants in regard to a shared collegiate experience.
In terms of sampling strategy, criterion sampling was used in order to identify eligible participants for this study. Criterion sampling can simply be defined as all individuals who meet the specific criteria determined by the researcher (Creswell, 2013).
72 For this specific study, criterion sampling was important for accurately addressing posed research questions that center on the experiences of first-year, Black collegiate women who have experienced disciplinary sanctioning in high school. Students who fit the criteria were recruited through email by identified gatekeepers of the research site.
Gatekeepers for this study were identified as administrators who were involved with campus programming or offices that served a large population of first-year Black collegiate women. In addition, I contacted undergraduate student organizations on campus whose membership consisted of majority first-year Black women to distribute a research flyer that introduced the study, defined the sampling criteria, and participant requirements.
Shared Collegiate Context
Midwestern University was the shared collegiate context of participants in the study. Midwestern University is a four-year, public, land grant institution. Under
Carnegie classification, Midwestern University is categorized as a doctorate granting, research institution. The university is embedded within a larger metropolitan city. In terms of undergraduate populations, Midwestern University has a predominantly white student population with a 22.4% minoritized student population. Each participant of the study was a full-time student at Midwestern University and lived on campus due to their first-year live on policy.
Participants of the Study
A demographic survey was distributed through a Qualtrics link and QR code by the gatekeepers identified for this study. In addition, a recruitment flyer was shared
73 publicly through social media platforms, such as Facebook and Twitter, to garner more participation. Through both mediums, recruitment materials reached an estimated 50 potential participants. This a small subset of the student population at Midwestern
University where Black women make up about 3% of the student population. In total, 11 people completed the demographic survey in its entirety. Using sampling criteria, I narrowed the 11 interested people to five study participants. Study participants were primarily chosen because they fit the criteria for participation. In addition, participants provided a range of experience with discipline in terms of level of severity. Therefore, the participants chosen provided diverse understandings of discipline to help with developing rich descriptions and capturing nuance amongst the experience examined in the study.
When completing the demographic survey, questions that pertained to identity were left open-ended in order to allow for participants to self-identify in the areas of gender, gender pronouns, race, ethnicity and age (see Table 1).
74 Table 1
Participant Information from Demographic Survey
Gender High School Name Age Race Ethnicity Discipline Experienced Identity Type Non- Not denominational, Angel 18 Black Hispanic or Female co-educational, Embarrassment in front of peers Latino Christian school African Early college, Marissa Watkins 18 N/A Female Embarrassment in front of peers & detention American public school Embarrassment in front of peers, ignored from participation in class, unpleasant verbal Public magnet African reprimands, intimidation, calling Serenity Davis 18 N/A Female alternative high American parents/guardians, sent to principal’s office, school detention, loss of student privileges, suspension, & in-school suspension calling parents/guardians, sent to principal’s African Public high Kiara 18 Black Female office, detention, suspension, & in-school American school suspension African Public high Monique 18 American Female calling parents/guardians & detention American school
75 Data Collection
In order to develop the context of a participant portrait, data was collected through three different forms. For this study, individual interviews and a focus group were the most useful ways to address my research questions. Each piece of data collected was viewed as “one piece of the ‘puzzle,’ with each piece contributing to the researcher’s understanding of the whole phenomenon” (Baxter & Jack, 2008, p. 554). Within my research focus, Black women’s stories were puzzle pieces to create a shared image of the influence of discipline on their collegiate experiences. Each direct interaction with participants was guided by Black girl reliability. Black girl reliability is a practice used through interaction with Black girls to articulate important ways to create and be present in spaces that center the lived truths and experiences of Black girls. The purpose of this reliability measure is to curate an experience of safety and reciprocal sharing amongst
Black girls and the researcher (Hill, 2018). Black girl reliability will be revisited as a means of garnering trustworthiness in future sections of this chapter.
Initial Individual Interviews
To begin data collection, I conducted initial interviews with each of the five individual participants. The content of the first interview focused on developing context around the discipline each participant experienced during their high school journey.
Questions to illicit understandings of self and situation were asked in order to help the researcher develop this context in order to see if environments of discipline were situational for each participant or similar in description. I asked participants to describe how they viewed themselves in high school to understand how self-perceptions were
76 created and what factors influenced these perceptions of self, including discipline.
Throughout the interview, participants also reflected on how they developed their views of higher education during high school and the influence discipline had on this view. The initial interview concluded with participants sharing advice they would share with their past high school selves. Based in reflection, the initial interviews informed the flow and conversation within the next phase of data collection, a focus group.
Focus Group
After all initial individual interviews were completed, a focus group including four of the five participants was held, as Serenity was unavailable. Inspired by BFT’s contour, the use of dialogue, the focus group provided study participants with a sense of comfort and community in having a discussion about their shared experience. As a continuation from the initial individual interviews, participants engaged in photo elicitation. Simply defined, photo elicitation is “inserting a photograph into a research interview” to create a dialogue (Harper, 2002, p. 13). To understand more in-depth how participants internalized their experiences with high school discipline, participants were asked to bring a photo of an object (picture, detention slip, drawing, poem, etc.) that represented their memory of discipline shared in their initial individual interview.
Participant driven photo elicitation was chosen in order to align with my epistemology of co-constructing research, but also to empower participants to engage creatively and guide the research process based on what they presented in the focus group (Copes, Tchoula,
Brookman, & Ragland, 2018). Participants in the focus group presented their images to each other and explained why they chose their particular images. A semi-structured group
77 discussion followed the presentation of participants’ photos to elicit more conversation and highlight shared themes amongst participants’ stories.
Follow-Up Individual Interview
To complete data collection, a follow-up individual interview was held with the five participants after the completion of the focus group. This follow-up interview focused more on exploring the participant’s current experiences in higher education and how their internalized feelings about their past experiences with discipline were present during this time. Questions posed in the semi-structured interview examined participant’s current view of higher education and their journey but also, if their high school experience with discipline was influencing the ways in which they navigated institutions of higher education. Similar to the initial interviews, participants were asked to describe how they viewed the college environment and themselves as students navigating the environment. I collected general information about their current academic and co- curricular interest as well to further develop context of their positioning in higher education and Midwestern University. In addition, I asked participants to describe their understanding of collegiate discipline/conduct and potential experiences of discipline on campus. The semi-structured interviews concluded by participants sharing if they felt their past experiences of discipline influenced their current perceptions and choices in navigation of higher education.
Informed Consent
In order to participate in this research study, participants agreed to the consent form. The consent form was shared at the beginning of the demographic survey, read
78 orally during the initial interview for each participant and revisited briefly in summary at the beginning of each following point of data collection. Participants were informed that their participation was voluntary, and they could choose to end their participation in the study at any point in time.
Participant Incentives
Participants received a $10 amazon gift card after the completion of each interview. This left participants with the opportunity to receive a maximum of $30 in amazon gift cards if they completed the initial interview, focus group photo elicitation and interview, and follow-up interview.
Data Analysis
Individual interviews and the focus group discussion were transcribed in order to begin data analysis using Rev.com. To honor the more artistic and story centered nature of portraiture, I used elements of Gilligan’s Listening Guide to reanalyze participant interviews to first develop participant portraits. The purpose of the form of qualitative analysis is to “bring the researcher into relationship with a person’s distinct and multilayered voice by tuning in or listening to distinct aspects of a person’s expression of their experience within a particular relational context” (Gilligan et al., 2003 p. 159). The
Listening Guide consists of four steps that allow researchers to identify individual participant voice within a transcript: listening for the plot, developing I poems, listening contrapuntal voices, and composing an analysis.
When listening for the plot amongst participants’ individual and focus group interviews, I listened to each interview twice while taking notes. In addition to listening, I
79 also read each transcript twice to take more notes and observe any developing patterns within and across stories. I poems were developed by me from portions of participant transcripts that answered the research questions of the study. Portraits of Angel, Marissa
Watkins, Serenity Davis, Kiara and Monique will be provided in Chapter Four. Next, listening to contrapuntal voices was essential when identifying emergent themes across participant stories and interpreting those themes to be presented in chapter five of the study. During this phase of analysis, I reviewed transcripts in order to identify how they relate to or answer posed research questions in order share an entire story. Last, to compose an analysis of what I found in the data in relation to research questions, I chose to develop individual participant portraits to identify and honor unique elements of each participants’ story (Chapter Four) while also additionally analyzing and interpreting emerging themes shared across portraits (Chapter Five).
To complete the findings chapter following participant portraits, more traditional methods of coding were used during the review of transcripts. Based on the amount of data collected and continuous nature of analysis, the constant-comparative method was used to converge each piece of data collected (Glaser & Strauss, 2017). The constant comparative method consists of forming categories and finding conceptual links between each category in order to interpret the data more clearly (Merriam, 1998). As hinted in the name, this was a tedious task that happened continuously with the collection of new data throughout the data collection process. Specifically, open coding of data was conducted initially to generate codes to then be followed by axial coding to develop connections between codes. The development of overarching themes was generated to
80 articulate a rich description of the shared experiences across transcripts (Merriam, 1998).
Analysis of transcripts took place in the qualitative data analysis system NVIVO. Using
NVIVO, codes were defined and tracked across transcripts. In total, across all participant transcripts, there were 100 codes and 10 categories resulting in 10 themes explored across participants’ high school and collegiate experiences. Findings from this analysis will be discussed further in Chapter Five of this study.
Positionality
As I approached this work, I brought my authentic self to the process of conducting research. “Researchers’ positions indicate the influences that come from their own social identities” (Jones, Torres, & Arminio, 2014, p. 41). When reflecting on conducting research with participants in this study, I could have never anticipated the transformational nature of this experience on me as a researcher. Although originally inspired by the stories of two young girls who struggled with discipline issues, experiences with participants caused me to reflect more internally about why this topic and population were so important to me. What I began to notice is that I was eerily similar to these participants during high school. I was viewed as a “good student” full of promise, super involved in all the extra-curricular activities, who performed well academically, and yet, I still found myself “in trouble” due to my actions and choices.
However, this study helped me realize that there was more to the story than that. When I felt like I was not heard in high school, I lashed out vocally and behaviorally. When I felt attacked or teased by other students, I lashed out emotionally. There was always a reason for my reaction that others never spoke to and that I never acknowledged until now. I
81 carried a lot of guilt during high school as I blamed myself for most of my experiences and worried about how these experiences would impact my future and my ability to care for my family one day as this was an expectation communicated to me early.
That guilt and worry followed me to college and actually grew to an overwhelming level of anxiety and depression. I worried about not being able to control my emotions as I navigated a whole new world in comparison to my home in Detroit as first-generation, low income student. I worried about not performing well enough in classes to become a medical doctor to support my family. I worried about not being able to blend into my predominantly white environment because of the way I spoke, the lack of preparation I received in high school, the lack of money I had to buy the nice clothes I saw my white roommate wear, or to pay outstanding tuition bills. Bombarded by constantly being chosen to represent my entire race and home to explain the innerworkings of urban settings. Being mistreated by my roommate to the point of almost physically fighting to defend myself and release all the frustration and anger she evoked in me within just one semester. Being accused of stealing because I fit the description of a Black girl with braids in the place I lived and worked. I was and still am these participants. My life mirrors their lived experiences and sadly shows how universities have yet to change since I have completed undergrad. However, the story becomes much sweeter when I reflect on now being in the position to finally illuminate issues of Black evolving women and call for change.
Therefore, as a researcher I became more invested in the portrayal of participants’ stories. It was not good enough for their stories to be just described by me. I was adamant
82 to receive participant input along each step of this journey. I cried countless tears in fears of not doing their stories justice and not representing just who these Black evolving women are. They deserved more than just being viewed as subjects. Angel, Marissa,
Serenity, Monique, and Kiara deserved more than only hearing their stories and experiences through these pages. Although this positionality statement is meant to be a brief portrait of my experience, these Black evolving women are weaved through each word as I saw myself in their stories. And the importance of their stories made this journey and transformation well worth it.
Trustworthiness
Several strategies were used to garner trustworthiness during this study (Jones,
Torres, & Arminio, 2014). Staying true to the usage of BFT, the stories and experiences participants shared were the primary focus of the study and therefore, viewed as valid sources of knowledge. Considering the focus of the study, it was important to follow the
Black girlhood studies principle of Black girl reliability to gain trust of participants. In order to use this tool successfully, the researcher must create inclusive and affirming research spaces for participants, show forms of sincere empathy and understanding towards Black girls sharing their stories, and the ability to envision Black girls as original sources of knowledge (Hill, 2018). Black girl reliability was maintained through common practices of member checking to allow for participants to participate in the development of the study alongside the researcher and affirm or trouble my interpretations of their stories (Hill, 2018).
83 In order to be Black girl reliable, Hill (2018) identifies three key ingredients that ultimately shape a researcher’s approach to interacting with Black girls. First, space created for the intentional inclusion of Black girls should have room for growth, imagination, and celebration of all facets of Black girlhood. Spaces should be affirming by nature and facilitate maintain relationships amongst one another, defining of self, and encouragement of possibilities (Hill, 2018). Second, although relationships are important, deliberate intimacy, defined as “an affinity and empathetic sentiment with and toward,” amongst researchers and Black girls is important (Hill, 2018, p. 400). Hill (2018) clearly outlines how this intimacy directs the language used in studies such as “conducting research on” to “creating communal teaching with” in the space making of Black girls.
Finally, a new level of understanding Black girls is needed in which a researcher envisions themselves in the circumstances of Black girls and viewing Black girls as original sources of knowledge. Each element of Black girl reliability was utilized to develop interview protocols, identify safe spaces for interviewing participants, member- checking of interview transcripts and portraits, define how participants would like to be identified and the use of a focus group to elicit dialogue and relationship building amongst participants.
Triangulation was used to confirm, contextualize, and further critique the multiple forms of data collected. Through the use of triangulation, comparison and convergence of data across the individual and focus group interviews was used to confirm emerging findings (Merriam, 1998). Continuous reflexivity was documented in my researcher’s journal throughout the research process. Specifically, I engaged in both prospective and
84 retrospective reflexivity in order to continuously document how my position as a researcher affected the research collected and how, in turn, the research affected my views as a researcher (Edge, 2011). Expert and peer debriefing were necessary in order to check biases and unpack the complexities of the data (Anney, 2014). As mentioned, and to align with the purpose of co-constructing research, I engaged in member-checking with participants of the study to assure that their authentic stories were being illuminated and understood. This was important when collecting data through the lens of co- construction to ensure that both the researcher and participants were responsible for creating a collective meaning of events studied and experiences shared (Jacoby & Ochs,
1995). The need for member-checking also aligned with Black feminist thought’s anchoring notion of Black women being the experts of their own experience. From member-checking, participants were given the opportunity to review their interview transcripts and challenge my interpretations of their stories through the portraits I created if needed.
Ethical Considerations
Multiple ethical considerations emerged from conducting this dissertation study.
First, the topic of past disciplinary sanctioning was a sensitive subject for participants to explore. This called for intentional development and review of research questions as participants were asked to rehash unpleasant memories of being disciplined in school
(Merriam, 1998). Clear measures were considered in order to support participants who showed signs of distress during interviews. In addition, as a Black woman conducting research with Black evolving women, certain moments of participants’ stories were
85 unexamined because they were assumed to be an embedded part of race and readily understood by me as a Black researcher (Duster, 2000). Therefore, it was important for me to ask participant’s clarifying questions to encourage further explanation and challenge the idea of shared knowing based on race. Last, in relation to my epistemology,
I believed it was important to contribute to the space during the collection of my research to show reciprocity and honor stories entrusted to me from participants. As participants are first-year students, I offered to provide advice for navigating the institution using my administrative expertise in transitioning from high school to college. This advice took place as informal check-in meetings after the conclusion of participant’s individual interviews.
Summary
In this chapter, I explained the methodological approach and overall research design used to conduct this inquiry on the influence of disciplinary sanctioning on first- year, Black collegiate women’s thoughts and experience in higher education. First, I discussed how I used the epistemological framework of critical constructivism to shape the foundation of my methodology. Then I explained how the theoretical framework of
Black Feminist Thought and SOLHOT were used throughout data collection and analysis to shape the way in which I approached the study as a researcher centering the experiences of Black women. Next, a description of participation criteria was described to define the sample of participants within the study, followed by tools for data collection and analysis. The chapter concluded with a brief review of my positionality as a researcher approaching this study, methods employed to ensure trustworthiness, and
86 ethical considerations for the study. In the next chapter, participants’ portraits are shared in order to capture their true essence and unique experiences with discipline in high school and their collegiate environment.
87 Chapter Four: Participant Portraits
The purpose of this dissertation study was to explore first-year, Black collegiate women’s experiences with disciplinary action in high school and the influence of discipline on their view of and current experience in higher education through portraiture methodology. A significant element of portraiture methodology is capturing the true essence of participants as they are and the overarching storyline they share. The conception of a portrait “must reflect the weight of empirical evidence, the infusion of emotional meaning, and the aesthetic of narrative development” (Lawrence-Lightfoot &
Davis, 1997, p. 248). Black feminist thought complements the use of portraiture because the stories of participants are centered but developed through dialogue. In addition, the stories participants share follow a common thread but are unique and true to the participants’ lives. Related to Black girlhood and methods such as SOLHOT to develop understanding of working with Black girls, the portraits “value the contradictions, paradoxes, and truths that emerge” from articulating Black girl stories and moments of celebration and goodness (Brown, 2009, p. 1).
In this chapter, each participant’s portrait will be shared. Within each portrait, I
Poems are shared. Following the Listening Guide as a tool of analysis, I Poems purposefully focus on the voice of participants through highlighting first-person pronouns used throughout an interview (Gilligan et al., 2003). Specifically, I Poems allow for researchers to identify rhythms within a participants’ speech but also hear how the 88 participants speak about themselves (Gilligan et al., 2003). The I Poems that follow were developed from portions of participants’ one-one-one interviews that directly responded to the research questions. Aligned with the artistic framing of portraiture, throughout each portrait, I have written outside of APA formatting such as direct quotes from participants being italicized and I Poems shared as block quotes. In addition to participants’ alias names, Marissa, Angel, Kiara, Monique, and Serenity, I provided a descriptive title that summarized the character of each participant when reflecting on our interactions throughout data collection.
Marissa Watkins: The Shy Soul
Marissa was very friendly when we met for the first time. I could tell, however, that she was very shy in nature and so agreeing to be interviewed was a step outside of her comfort zone. With this in mind, I was very careful about making her feel comfortable in the space and very clear about expectations, so she felt the least amount of pressure about participating in the study. As we began the interview, I could see Marissa being slightly apprehensive in her responses. She didn’t share a lot about herself when we initially began talking. However, after we moved the focus to discussing high school, she loosened up a bit. There was a slight shift in her demeanor as she allowed her body to relax and sit back in her seat across from me.
From her description of her high school environment, I got a sense that Marissa had always been used to standing back in a crowd versus intentionally standing out.
Intentionality is key here as her school was predominantly white. To my surprise, however, Marissa described being overly involved in high school as she participated in
89 various clubs and activities. Her participation in class, on the other hand, resembled the shyness I experienced in her interview as she shared that she never really spoke out or rose her hand in class. “I don't like speaking out in class because I'm afraid having the wrong answer and feeling embarrassed.” Since she was so quiet in class, she described that her teachers really didn’t know much about her besides the fact that she was a
“good” student because she completed her work and also hung around the “good” kids who were invested in their education. “I mostly hung out with the good kids and the, not smarter kids, but like the kids that actually cared about what they got in class.” This image shifted slightly for her when Marissa received her first detention in high school.
When reflecting on these experiences, it was clear that Marissa questioned if she was being treated this way because of her race. It was as if she thought this to be true, but it was a fact that she did not want to commit to or face. You could feel the apprehension in her choice of language. There were times when she would say, “I don’t want to say” or “I don’t know” but follow those phrases with, “but maybe it was because of my color.”
Below is Marissa’s I Poem describing her experience in high school:
I went to the high school I took college classes I don’t want to say it was predominantly white I guess I can say I was in different clubs I played tennis I was in yearbook I was in the talent show and drama club I was on the leadership team I just forgot
90 This poem highlights some of Marissa’s discomfort with identifying race as a salient factor in her high school experience. However, although attending a predominantly white school, as mentioned she was still heavily involved in extra-curricular activities. In her own words, she perceived herself to be too involved in activities outside of the classroom.
Still, Marissa was able to avoid the spotlight and attention of teachers until she had her first experience with discipline in high school.
Marissa had a friend who did not neatly fit into the “good” student category during her time in high school. This friend created a post on social media sharing mean thoughts about another student. In turn, Marissa commented on the post laughing at her friend’s message but also mentioning that she was being mean. The following day,
Marissa found herself being sanctioned to detention for replying to the post without any discussion or explanation of how she had broken school policy. Marissa was hurt and confused because she felt she did nothing wrong. She was hurt because administrators did not give her the benefit of the doubt as she was a “good” student. She felt like her reputation was tarnished in the eyes of her teachers and administrators. “It did make me more cautious on how they might perceive me in class and stuff, like if I was a bad kid or not, or something like that.” She felt embarrassed for getting in trouble and a strong sense of disappointment when she reflected on how her mother would react to her actions. Marissa did not only carry the weight of being “good” in school but also at home.
In the following I Poem, Marissa describes how her experience with discipline in high school made her feel:
I didn’t really like it I didn’t think I did anything wrong 91 I just felt uncomfortable I kind of did think it was cause of my skin color I feel like if it was a white person I don’t think I acted differently
This I Poem describes the essence of how being disciplined caused Marissa to feel. As mentioned, essential to Marissa’s overall high school experience was the question of race and how it was impacting her experience with others. She continuously wrestled with how she was treated in comparison to her white peers especially after being disciplined. It was one thing for her to witness the behavior and another to be on the receiving end of the bias treatment. But overall, emotionally, she was at a place of confusion and discomfort because it was never made clear to her what she did wrong. With being a
“good” student, it seemed important for Marissa to understand how others perceived her actions in order to make decisions going forward that aligned with the “right” thing to do in any circumstance. This need to be viewed favorably, however, seemed to stem from
Marissa’s upbringing.
Growing up, Marissa always learned what not to do by watching her older sister.
She learned how to please her parents, how to act in school, and overall, how to be a
“good” person because of the consequences and trouble her sister faced. “Just watching my sister…whenever she did get in trouble, she would cuss out the faculty people and that'll just get her in trouble more. I've just learned from my siblings what not to do in certain situations and that has helped a lot.” However, this learning turned into pressure.
There was pressure to always be good, to always do what’s right, pressure to say the right thing, pressure to not act out in anger, and pressure to do more than her sister. Therefore,
92 getting in trouble and facing less severe consequences felt very large and very detrimental to Marissa both behaviorally and emotionally. However, college would be a new space for her to have a new start.
Marissa was eager to go to college outside of her hometown. She viewed the opportunity as a new space, new people, and new opportunities for growth. I witnessed
Marissa’s growth and steps into becoming her own person when we met for our second interview. I believe she began to trust me a little more due to our conversation after the first interview. I allowed her time and space to ask me any questions or seek advice about navigating her first year of college. Through this conversation, I could see that Marissa longed for more opportunities to step outside of her comfort zone but also become more involved on campus. We discussed simple ways she could try to build relationships with peers in her daily life while also seeking more formal opportunities to connect. This more informal conversation humanized me as a researcher for Marissa in which she began to let her guard down for our second interview.
We began our second interview from a less sterile place as I complemented
Marissa on her new nose piercing. It was shocking to me at first to see someone who I viewed as meek and mild to make such an adventurous choice. I was proud of her. Her confidence in her choice and her happiness in exercising freedom at college radiated off of her. She smiled from ear to ear as she told me about the whole story of how she decided to get the piercing. This excitement was reflected in the way Marissa was currently experiencing college. She was enjoying herself, slowly making friends, and also trying new things. She seemed lighter in this interview, like there were less worries she
93 had to carry being on a college campus. However, when we started to discuss college discipline, she began to slowly retract into herself as the worries and concerns she carried in the back of her mind were brought forth. The following I Poem depicts Marissa’s initial impression of her collegiate environment:
I didn’t know I guess it wasn’t I came I kind of figured it was mostly white I didn’t notice how much I wasn’t surprised I was surprised at the fact they preached diversity I don’t really think it’s that much diverse I’ve seen I wasn’t surprised
Similar to high school, the significance of race was prominent as Marissa began to evaluate her surroundings. When transitioning to college, although excited for the new opportunities that awaited her, she searched for familiarity in different ways and what she found was a similar racial makeup to her predominately white high school environment.
There was a glimmer of hope that possibly her college environment would be more diverse than what she experienced based on how the college advertised the “diverse” environment they cultivated. However, what was “preached” versus reality affirmed
Marissa’s background thoughts and concerns around how race would impact her experience, particularly in relation to discipline.
Marissa hadn’t experienced any trouble in college, but similar to her learning from watching her sister, Marissa was learning about college discipline through examples of others. She heard of other Black students being targeted on her college campus by police. She saw how Black students were treated by their white peers in the residence 94 halls. In society, she saw how Black girls and women were being treated by in-school officers and police officers within the community. “You just always see police brutality. I remember in class...we were just talking about how officers treat Black girls in high schools and how they wrestle them and stuff compared to a white person.” Each of these examples that she presented to me painted an image of the possibilities she imagined for herself when it related to college discipline. These thoughts made her more apprehensive about engaging with authority figures on her campus and especially, made her guarded around campus police. The following I Poem simply explains her constant thought around her potential to “get in trouble” on campus:
I’m a good student I don’t know I guess I’m Black I don’t know
Marissa could not escape the concern that her mere existence as a Black student could warrant trouble for her as she moved through college. She knew who she was and could declaratively state that “I am a good student.” Unfortunately, she was not confident that this would be enough to spare her. She could always be seen as inherently “bad” and judged as such. It was simply an unavoidable thought that she held in educational spaces since high school.
However, I was inspired by Marissa. I asked her if these thoughts kept her from doing things she wanted to do, and her response was simply “no.” Although her fears and worries were real, she knew that she couldn’t allow them to keep her from seizing opportunities to grow, explore, and embrace her new environment as her own. She
95 exuded so much confidence when telling me what she deserved not only as a Black person but a Black woman on her campus. “I shouldn’t be afraid to do what I want to do as a human being because of the possibility of those things happening to me.” The sternness and volume in her tone when declaring freedom from fear were moving. I don’t think Marissa was fully aware of the strength she exhibited in that moment, but it foreshadowed who I believe Marissa will grow to be in her journey as a Black evolving woman. Fearless, unapologetic, and confident.
Angel: The Quiet Storm
Meeting Angel for the first time was a very laid-back experience. Related to what she described as her chill personality; Angel carried herself with a very quiet confidence.
Just from the way she entered the room for our interview, I could tell she had a true sense of who she was and what she brought to any table. Now this was definitely surprising when considering she was only 18 years old, but Angel had an old soul. It was like what my grandparents would say; Angel had been here before. Her energy was refreshing as it put me at ease when beginning the interview. I began with following typical steps of informed consent. The formalness of the process seemed to make Angel a little uneasy as she also described herself as a more-so private person. Although a little worried about how much she would be willing to share or engage with the interview questions, I dove right in to learning more about her high school experience.
After the first few questions, Angel was like an open book. The emotion she exuded when reflecting on her past experiences was a stark contrast to her original laidback demeanor. As Angel described, she attended a predominantly white Christian
96 school. Receiving a letter of recommendation from her pastor, also grandfather, was key to her admission. Therefore, whiteness and Christianity created her high school context.
However, this was distinctly different from the home environment Angel described.
Within her household, her parents were open about discussing Black history and establishing a salient identity as a Black family regardless of their surroundings.
Therefore, this led to Angel initially having difficulty in adjusting to her high school environment. “…I felt like I was by myself. So, there were some things that I couldn't do or felt like I couldn't be myself, so the way I talked, code switching is real, so I had to change how I talked when I talked around other people.” During her early years in high school, Angel was exposed to many microaggressive behaviors in the classroom from both teachers and peers. She was either seen as the “cool Black friend” or the
“exceptional Black student.” In every area of her high school journey, race infiltrated her experience. As one of two Black students she could recall in her graduating class, navigating her high school environment was alienating and isolating at times. She expressed experiencing early on the challenge of bringing her whole self into spaces. In addition, the challenge to choose between assimilation or showing up whole in order to not be judged or policed by others was a daily struggle.
To understand more of her experience, I began to ask questions about Angel’s experiences with high school discipline. Immediately, all issues seemed to stem from racial difference and bias on behalf of authority figures. One prominent example that still infuriated Angel to this day was the issue of her writing an English paper about the connection between the Black Panther party and the Black Lives Matter movement. The
97 topic aligned with her worldview and was supported by her parents. But what was most significant is that the topic was important to Angel. She was excited about researching the Black Panthers and learning more about how they contributed to the Black community. The amount of pride and passion she had was displayed through the descriptive details she gave me of how long she researched the topic, discussed the topic, and the commitment to doing each group justice in her paper. “I spent three or four months working on it, and so I even had my dad help me. He knew a couple Black
Panther former members, so I talked to some of them, and asked them things about it.”
However, her English teacher was totally against the idea.
When describing the teacher in question, Angel’s faced scrunched with disgust as she recalled moments she experienced in his class. If it was not isolating enough to be one of the only Black students in class, the isolation was perpetuated by this teacher calling her out in class to negatively discuss the latest article or news report about the
Black Lives Matter movement. “I was highly discouraged from my English teacher [into not doing it], and in class he would specifically target me, and talk about Black Lives
Matter and how they were doing terrible things and all this kind of stuff.” It was as if he wanted to prove a point that he knew what was best, but also crush her spirit as she continued to pursue the topic. I assumed through her description and experience that the teacher was white but in addition, he was reported to openly post online about his support of Trump. So, this personal opinion felt like more of a personal vendetta against Angel and her views. The idea of representing your entire race was experienced early by Angel
98 as the same teacher would evoke racially charged debates in class to challenge the opinions Angel held. In doing so, he curated a space of alienation and isolation for Angel.
When provoked to discuss racial inequities in class, Angel would respond passionately within the conversation. However, the passion she exuded was used against her to paint her as angry or always “complaining” in relation to racial injustice. “I would start talking and people would just be like, ‘Oh, here she goes again.’ It was that kind of thing.” As a response, Angel stopped responding to avoid the frustration and judgment from her teacher and peers. However, this form of silencing trickled into how Angel began to perceive authority figures and the ways they used their power within classroom settings. Instead of making herself small to appease those around her, Angel found a new way to navigate her environment. She was put in a position where she was forced to create boundaries and distance in her peer and teacher relationships, she had to in order to protect herself. Although she was cordial in her interactions, she did not let down her guard to develop genuine relationships with those around her. The following I Poem describes how Angel chose to navigate the high school environment after experiencing discipline:
I don’t really mess with any of y’all I’ll speak I’ll say hi I don’t have to I really don’t have to I’ll say hi I don’t have to go above and beyond I kind of realized I was like people really expect I understand be nice I’m totally down I’ll just say hi 99 I don’t owe you that
In addition to blatant issues related to race, Angel shared experiences of gendered racism in the form of body policing. Specifically, Angel discussed her school’s ritual of making sure student’s attire for special events were “appropriate”:
My dress was about almost the same as another girl's but she was white, and they
told me I couldn't wear my dress because it was three inches above the knee…But
another girl had…and she was allowed to wear it because she was smaller than
me. And I was like, "I really don't understand? Why can't I wear this dress?" And
we went back and measured it and it was fine, but they were like, "No, it just
doesn't look appropriate."
The continuous monitoring and reprimand for both Angel’s actions and body exacerbated her need to distance herself from peers and authority figures in her high school environment. This moment was a reminder of how policies and procedures meant to keep order were never made with her experience or her body in mind.
As our interview ended, this experience provided me more context about Angel and the way she navigated spaces. There was a guard up, but it was warranted and she was intentional about keeping distance before fully engaging. When reflecting on our first interview, I believe the guard was slightly disarmed by my lack of judgment to her stories and the true thoughts she shared. When wrapping up our time together, Angel began to show more vulnerability when she showed that she needed help and trusted me to provide her with just that. We discussed simple things like how to utilize campus resources and navigate collegiate academics. Although this may seem trivial to most, I
100 took this as a sign of rapport building with Angel as she allowed me to see some of the areas in which she may not have been as confident. This interaction set the tone for our second interview experience.
As Angel entered the room for our second interview, there was a level of openness and familiarity between us two. We celebrated her success in feeling confident in her math course after receiving help from her professor but also the slight weariness she felt about completing the upcoming quiz. As I learned in the interview, building relationships with peers was difficult for Angel which made this moment of celebration more important to me. However, these feelings mirrored Angel’s overarching feelings about currently being in college. When describing the college environment and the mere fact of being on a college campus, Angel spoke from a space of awe and pride. Before entering college, she thought a lot about the idea of going to college and being successful.
However, she worried about how she was going to handle college since most of what she heard was about the difficulties of college. As she began to maneuver through her first semester, the worry she initially felt transformed into a sense of pride. She was proud of her accomplishment of just getting to college while still being somewhat in disbelief that she was currently in college and doing well. The following I Poem depicts Angel’s thoughts about currently being in college:
I think I thought I’m going through I find myself I’m going through college I didn’t think I was going to be here I’m proud 101 I’m almost through I haven’t really put a lot of thought I came here I got here I’m going to do it? I’m doing it
Although joyful about her current circumstance, worries of a different nature began to intrude Angel’s mind. As I moved into the portion of the interview protocol about discipline on college campuses, I could feel a shift in Angel’s energy. The topic was one she did not want to revisit as she had recent experiences with discipline in the first few weeks of the semester. When asked to describe the incidents, I heard a similar passion in her voice as when we discussed difficult times in her high school experience.
And similar to her experiences in high school, race played a prominent factor in her stories. The first incident described by Angel centered around miscommunication from student staff and a lack of understanding of residence hall policies.
As Angel described the story, the race of those in authority become more prominent to share. From her prior experiences and natural inclination, Angel felt that she and her friends were being targeted by the white staff members.
There was an inability on behalf of the staff members in question to acknowledge the unclear rules and expectations presented to Angel. The lack of acknowledgment was masked with accusations by staff members of Angel and her intentions. However, Angel developed a tone of justification and bravery when she devised a plan to address the issue and prove her innocence. “I'm not about to sit here and get in trouble for something that I didn't do.” With college discipline, Angel had more to lose and refused to leave her future in anyone else’s hands except her own. She advocated for herself and made sure 102 her side of the story was told. She was going to tell her truth to avoid what she imagined to be the harsh consequences of discipline in college. In doing so, she sought support from family who had collegiate experience in residence life to affirm that she was not wrong. The following I Poem epitomizes Angel’s determination to stand up for herself in the face of discipline:
I didn’t want it I didn’t I don’t know I’m more about standing up I didn’t want to be I didn’t say anything I could get in trouble I’m going to I can I’m presenting myself I knew I was telling the truth
Unfortunately, this story would not be the only time Angel experienced racially charged issues within her residence hall.
After the first incident shared happened and was resolved by the charges and accusations against Angel being dropped, she experienced another issue with her roommate. Originally, Angel lived in a room with four roommates, two of whom were white and close friends. However, within the first week of classes one of the white students moved to feelings of “discomfort.” “…my roommate said she felt threatened and she felt uncomfortable having my black friends in the room.” From then on, Angel and her other Black roommate experienced microaggressive instances with their white roommate that stemmed from cultural differences and general upbringing. The differences eventually came to a head when the white roommate reported Angel and her 103 other Black roommate to their resident advisor for having multiple friends over in a shared study room. Again, the feelings of “discomfort” and uncertainty of their intent to steal her belongings caused her fear and a need to report her roommates. Before Angel and her roommate could respond to defend themselves, their resident advisor had documented their information to file an incident report. The following I Poem uses
Angel’s words to describe her attempts to be seen for her “goodness”:
I care what people think I already had I was the good kid I made mistakes I think I am I think I’m more intentional I don’t want I went above and beyond I want it I think I didn’t really have to I was
Angel was beyond frustrated with this experience. As she described her interactions with her white roommate, I could see that Angel pushed herself outside of her comfort zone, pulling down her guard, to get to know her roommates better. She was offended and hurt that such accusations were not only made about her intentions but also that they were considered as evidence or fact without conversation. As Angel spoke, I was reminded of similar stories she shared about her high school experience in relation to racially charged incidents and discipline without discussion. She was tired of being misunderstood, accused, and assumed of bad intent when she viewed herself as a “good” student and person. Nonetheless, Angel’s choice to defend herself in college was a 104 display of growth in her confidence as a college student. It finally clicked for me that
Angel was quietly confident as a form of strategy to navigate her environment. Still in demeanor but strong in self.
Kiara: The Rebellious Spirit
When meeting for our first interview, Kiara was ready to participate. She showed up 10 minutes early and was already waiting for me as I entered the room to prepare for the interview. Even though she was sick, she was very positive and excited about sharing her story. Unlike other interviews, Kiara and I sat side by side, facing one another during the interview. For me as the researcher, I was concerned that this would make Kiara uncomfortable, but she was actually perfectly fine with the closeness of proximity. The informal nature of seating shifted the feeling in the room. It was less of a power dynamic of sitting across from one another and I drill her with questions to a more relaxed conversational atmosphere. Kiara confirmed this as she sat peacefully in her seat, legs crossed, resting her head in her hand as she leaned on the table. As we began the interview, Kiara was overtly transparent with telling her story. Her energy became lively as she started speaking swiftly as she began to answer my general ice-breaking questions.
Within the first question about high school, Kiara started to paint vivid pictures to help me understand how she saw her high school environment. Kiara attended a predominantly Black high school within an urban setting of her hometown. This played a factor in her being comfortable in her school environment but also, the negative portrayal others held of her school.
105 Her openness and vibrance was evident in her high school experience as she described her persona and interactions with peers, staff, and teachers. She described herself as being likeable to the point where she could get along with anyone in her school. She had an affinity for hanging out with older students who treated her as the
“little” sister. Being seen as the little sister at high school was a change of pace for Kiara as she is the oldest of 10 children. The relationships she garnered also encouraged her to be very involved and supportive to others in high school. I saw a lot of myself in Kiara as she described all of her extra-curricular activities. From making signs to support her big brothers on various sports teams to helping them with homework, Kiara was always more naturally helpful to others and their needs. This knack for helping also caused her to be called upon for service and support by teachers and administrators. She was seen as a vital member of the high school community and her opinion mattered to most teachers and administrators when they were considering new ideas or wanted overall support with a project. Kiara didn’t mind helping others because her involvement kept her occupied in school. Although she was in honor’s classes amongst a majority of white peers, the high school curriculum bored her. However, this was not a shock to Kiara or her family as she had always been gifted academically from a young age. The following I Poem represents how Kiara viewed herself in high school:
I think I was always held to a high standard I was in classes I didn’t act like them I didn’t talk like them I pretty much had a good relationship with my teachers
106 Challenges during her high school career began to unfold when outside circumstances started to impact how Kiara felt emotionally. Losing a parent to murder at a young age is a hard concept for anyone to accept and the same was true for Kiara. The hurt she felt about her loss was easily provoked by other students who even mentioned her deceased parent. For Kiara, she experienced a variety of emotions when faced with these issues. There was anger for the lack of decency others had for her pain, there was sadness from grieving and being misunderstood by others, and there was disappointment in the teachers and administrators who would try to punish her for her reactions to things happening around her. In addition, to carrying emotional weight, Kiara was also considered responsible for her younger siblings and cousins who she attended school with which led to her also defending them in physical altercations.
Any other time if I got in trouble, it was for getting in a fight with another student,
like another girl. But it was never really me, it was my little cousins. You know, if
one fight, we all got to fight. That's how we were raised.
As Kiara described physical altercations were commonplace in school masking the emotional toll Kiara was experiencing and causing it to be nearly invisible to school officials. The weight of her emotions eventually combined in a spirit of rebellion that her teachers and administrators could no longer ignore.
After the passing of her parent, Kiara experienced another emotional incident with her high school boyfriend. His behavior triggered something deep down in Kiara that caused her to be enraged. Some administrators who knew her well advised her that ending her relationship would be in her best interest. However, the relationship came to a
107 head when Kiara reacted publicly to her boyfriend’s behavior. They had physically fought before in front of others, but the situation escalated when Kiara threw a chair at her partner. When describing this moment to me, I imagined Kiara as a balloon ready to pop from all the emotions she had been holding in. She was embarrassed. She was shocked. She was hurt. “I’ve never been humiliated like that before…I felt crazy and it was disgusting.”
Those teachers and staff who knew her affirmed her through comments like,
“You’re too beautiful…Forget him” or “I would have reacted the same way.” On the other hand, others made judgmental statements such as, “told you so.” The mixed messages of support and judgment festered into rebellion. “They've never seen me broken. I was losing weight. There were teachers that were just noticing everything about me.” Due to her actions, Kiara was required to spend a week in a counseling-based program in her school as a less punitive form of discipline. She acknowledged that she should have received harsher consequences, but the counseling program had an adverse effect on her healing. “They make you feel crazy in there.” And due to this feeling, Kiara rebelled by not engaging with mentors present in the counseling program. This sentiment was reinforced by the looks and comments other staff members would give her after the incident. “Oh, you’re the girl from the library” was now her new identity and it felt as if no one could see past her mistake. The following I Poem makes explicit the emotional toll the incident had on Kiara and her way of coping:
I feel I already feel like you’re not on my side I felt I just felt 108 I couldn’t control myself I’m crazy I did everything to not be in school I really did everything not to be in school I don’t want to be here I’m dropping my work off I’m getting my work I’m leaving I just feel like everyone was staring
With this new identity placed upon her, Kiara started to believe it. As described by Kiara, she did everything in her power to not have to be in school. Feeling misunderstood, judged, embarrassed and abandoned, Kiara slowly withdrew from being involved, building relationships, and engaging with those at her high school. She powered through her senior year with the intent to graduate, attend college in a new city, and to remove herself from what now became a judgmental environment. However, the amount of anger and resentment she felt was displayed to others as “attitude” in which she received pointed advice from those close to her to change her behavior. She was told that no one would be accepting of her “attitude” in college and this behavior was necessary for her to change if she planned to be successful. Kiara took this advice to heart as she prepared herself to begin her collegiate journey which we discussed further in her second interview.
As Kiara entered the space for our second interview, she was less enthusiastic as she was when we initially met. Our interview took place during a tough exam week at her institution and therefore, she was exhausted and drained from her preparation. However, as we began to discuss her current collegiate experience, this aloof feeling was also present in how she described college from her point of view. Although college was new
109 in terms of environment and people, it wasn’t necessarily the refreshing experience Kiara expected when coming to campus. To describe her daily life on campus, Kiara used words such as alone and different. Although there was a positive air around her descriptions, the truth and weight of her words shed light on the difficulties she was experiencing navigating her new environment. Kiara’s discomfort in her new environment influenced the ways she chose to (dis)engage in activities that would typically interest her. The following I Poem centers the feelings of loneliness and confinement Kiara expressed about her college environment:
I thought I was going to be fine I thought I was prepared I’m going to be away I’m alone I stay alone I’m at home I came I didn’t I can’t spaz out I can’t do anything I think I think it helps I feel I’m down I’m just going to be down
As we moved further into the conversation about her college experience, Kiara seemed very thoughtful and intentional about “changing her behavior” and portraying herself in a different light at her university. She discussed how being alone and in a new environment with less familiar faces caused her to focus more on self-control. She could not react in ways that were natural to her in fear that others around her would see her as
110 “crazy”. Her experience in high school clearly haunted her in some ways and gave her reason to temper her emotions. In addition, the lack of connection Kiara felt on campus amongst faculty, staff, and peers reminded her that there was less support available to her to process her emotions. “…I can't spaz out here, I can't do anything. Ain't nobody here to save me.” The interesting thing about this point in the interview was Kiara’s demeanor as she talked about her experience in college. Her body language portrayed confidence and strength outwardly but her words eluded to deep fear and sadness. It hurt me to watch her try to mask her emotions through this strong persona, but I realized that it was what she taught herself to do in order to survive environments. Emotions led to trouble for
Kiara in the past and in college, trouble is what she wanted to avoid.
The more we discussed Kiara’s collegiate experience, she began to identify spaces on campus that added to her sense of loneliness and made her feel like she did not belong.
One particular space was her residence hall, as she recalled being the only Black student on her floor. The ease in which her white peers could build relationships and navigate the college campus was a reminder to Kiara that she did not belong. When describing her observations of peers, the weight of being a first-generation college student informed how she interpreted their actions. Going to college was a natural progression for her white peers and an expectation for them to complete as they followed in the footsteps of their family members. In contrast, Kiara some time questioned her decision to pursue college because it caused her to leave her family behind and, ultimately, choose discomfort. However, the responsibility Kiara felt as a first-generation college student
111 also influenced her need to avoid trouble in college, especially when considering the lack of clear knowledge she held about the collegiate discipline and conduct.
As our conversation transitioned to discuss collegiate discipline, I was happy and relieved that Kiara had yet to experience discipline in her college experience. When garnering more information about what she knew about college discipline and its consequences, Kiara’s main concern was the potential to be removed from school or being arrested due to her being of age. Each of these consequences drove Kiara’s desire to avoid trouble but also to not disappoint people back home. As mentioned, the idea of a changed attitude and behavior were important to Kiara and supported by her family’s advice before she came to college. So, when considering the potential of being disciplined in college, Kiara was adamant that this could only happen through a clear misunderstanding of college conduct policies and expectations. The following I Poem describes how Kiara imagined herself to respond to any future discipline in college:
I did I did something I got in trouble I just didn’t understand I got in trouble I never did I really didn’t think I would have I probably would have I would be confused I would be probably more irritated I don’t know I did something I know I will get in trouble I’d be irritated I did I didn’t know 112 I was going to get in trouble I’d be irritated either way
For Kiara, the independence of college and the responsibility she began to acknowledge and develop for her actions made it necessary to “own up” to any things she knowingly did wrong. However, the emotions behind even the thought of getting in trouble represented disbelief, frustration, and ultimately, disappointment.
To me, Kiara represented what it means to grow. Although, she was unhappy with her surroundings she chose to have a positive outlook on what her experience was teaching her. Although alone, she used this time to develop independence and self- control. Although emotional, she challenged herself to persevere in a new environment to continue developing into the woman she longed to be.
Monique: The Social Butterfly
Monique was the happiest participant to engage in the study by far. Not that it was a competition, but she had such a positive outlook when considering the topic we were going to address. This positivity she exuded presented itself in the form of laughter and light-heartedness. Even in the uncomfortably intimate space in which her interview took place, Monique embraced the environment. It was refreshing to say the least to be greeted with such optimism, but I knew that her ability to “look on the bright side” of each situation stemmed from somewhere before we ever crossed paths. Eager to share her story, Monique began describing her experiences with teachers and discipline in high school within the first introductory question of the protocol. I was shocked by her openness and preparation. It felt as if she knew the questions before I could even ask them. As I got deeper into the context of Monique’s high school experience, her story in 113 relation to her positive attitude began to make sense. What I was seeing as a researcher in
Monique was a complete picture but there was a process she had undergone to get to where she was.
Monique attended a majority Black public high school. Her first year there was somewhat difficult as she had troubles transitioning to and trusting within the space. She was very guarded and kept to herself when it came to teachers, staff, and peers. As explained, Monique entered high school after a traumatic middle school experience. She was attacked during her last year of middle school by a group of students and physically assaulted. Fearful about her protection, Monique brought a weapon to school to defend herself against the students in question as she was fearful of being harmed again. As she described the story to me, I could feel myself becoming emotional when thinking about
Monique during that time. How could someone want to harm her? How could she survive that and still smile? Answers to my subconscious questions were answered as Monique continued to discuss her experience. Although she found her first year in high school difficult, Monique slowly began to allow herself to trust. She shared how she had to reframe her thinking about high school and identify how this environment was different from her previous middle school. It was powerful to not only hear about this active choice Monique made over five years ago as a freshman in high school but to also see her still living by that choice as a first-year college student. A part of that choice for Monique involved being more social and engaging with those in her environment. The following I
Poem depicts Monique’s journey of isolation to engagement within her high school environment:
114 I think I went I don’t like y’all I stick to myself I’m here I started I would I was I was I’m here I was always focused I’ve always been like that
Monique could easily recall having intentional and genuine relationships with people in her school, including teachers, administrators, and peers. After her first year,
Monique became very involved in her high school through various programming that allowed her to build these unique relationships, particularly with administrators. In addition to involvement, Monique did very well academically in high school as shown by her graduating as valedictorian. Therefore, with the combined reputation of doing well academically and heavily engaged in her high school community, Monique found it easy at times to avoid disciplinary infractions from teachers. However, as we began to discuss issues of discipline in high school, Monique started to recall instances immediately that she experienced.
The first instance we discussed was concerning an assignment that she had to complete and requested help from her teacher. The teacher in question ignored
Monique’s request for support in completing her assignment and sent her to another teacher who was not a part of the class. The grade Monique received on the paper reflected the need she expressed for help and sent a red flag to her mother about the class and teacher. In support of her daughter, Monique’s mother called the teacher to receive 115 an explanation about the assignment, grade, and lack of support she gave to Monique.
Overall, the teacher claimed that she felt unsafe or threatened after talking to Monique’s mother but acted in what Monique felt was resentment for the rest of the school year. She felt targeted by this teacher and felt that any move she made was examined under a microscope and warranted discipline. Monique recalled multiple examples of being sent to the principal’s office or assigned detention to the point of administrators questioning the teacher’s reasoning for discipline. Before I could assume, Monique made it very clear this teacher was a white woman and that this experience was common practice. “…she only targeted the black kids. The other white kids, they ain't never have no other issues.”
It seemed that Monique felt targeted by teachers in most of her classes as well for being so outspoken and social. Some teachers honored her chattiness by engaging her in the learning environment. Monique shared multiple examples of teachers allowing her to come to the front of the room and explain concepts to her classmates. Others, however, viewed her talking as what seemed to be an interruption or distraction. Monique’s description of most of her classroom environments displayed a lack of classroom management. From other student’s yelling and acting inappropriately in class without much consequence, it was confusing to Monique when trying to explain or understand why she was singled out so much. “I was in the corner and I was doing something, and literally the whole classroom is yelling, hopping over tables. ‘Monique! I'm going to call your mom if you don't sit down.’ But she just did a back flip in the middle of the floor…but you're worried about me.” With a lack of clear justification for discipline and
116 also the continued support from administrators, Monique developed a lack of concern with high school discipline and it showed in her actions.
She began to make riskier decisions in her behavior such as breaking clear rules because she was conditioned to have no concern about discipline in school. These behaviors included leaving school grounds to get lunch and even challenging teachers who attempted to discipline her. Examples of this behavior varied amongst security officers threatening to write letters to her parents about her attendance in school to teachers sending her to the office for getting a drink of water in the hallway. To Monique, authority figures were making her high school experience harder than expected or needed. “…They definitely just made it harder. Like, ‘I don't even want to do her paper because she just irritates me.’ It got to the point where it was like, ‘I don't even want to ask for help on this assignment because I just don't feel like hearing her mouth.’”
Although difficult, Monique did not let these experiences deter her from still pursuing a college education, the challenges became more of a motivation for her to move forward.
The following I Poem expresses how Monique was experiencing her instances with discipline in high school:
I was walking I didn’t have a pass I’m just going I’m right here I’m not walking I’m not going
I start walking I was like, don’t touch me I’m going I got to I was 117 I could I explained
I don’t even want to I don’t even want to I just don’t feel I would just go I just went
Monique’s drive to pursue a college degree began with observing her older sister go after a college degree despite being the first in their family to do so. With a full scholarship to a prestigious university, Monique’s sister set the example that college was attainable at the highest level. Having this role model made it easier for Monique to
(re)center herself during difficult times in high school. In addition, Monique had a second motivational push from her mother. Although she never attended college, Monique’s mother was supportive and proud of the academic accomplishments both of her daughters made. She supported Monique in seeking resources that would be beneficial to bringing her closer to a college degree. It was moving to hear how Monique described her relationship with her mother and the support she received even in navigating negative feedback from family members. “…my aunt would be like, ‘You're going to end up like your mom, on food stamps, on welfare.’" Even in the face of doubting minds, Monique focused on making her parents proud regardless of their educational experiences and backgrounds. Therefore, choosing to go to college at Midwestern University was exciting for not only Monique, but her family as well.
When discussing Monique’s current experience in college, it was clear that she was having an easier time than others with transitioning. It wasn’t that Monique was smarter or more experienced than others, but she chose to put herself out there. That 118 social personality that some others may have frowned upon in high school was now her ticket to actually enjoying her time on campus. Her willingness to engage and the lack of fear or concern with how others would perceive her was almost liberating for Monique as she maneuvered her new campus environment. Within her short time at her university,
Monique had already established lines of communication with her professors in case she needed help academically while also finding community amongst Black students on campus through student programming and organizations. I was in awe when listening to all that Monique had accomplish thus far relationship wise amongst faculty and peers, but she made it very clear as to why. Monique realized early that the amount of distance between herself and others around her could be detrimental to her college experience but also, her future. There was a potential to build relationships, which she was very fond of, but to also lose those relationships based on pure time and proximity. The following I
Poem describes Monique’s urgency in building and maintaining relationships:
I feel I see you here I see you there I don’t know I mean I understand I know I know I got to I’m kind of getting I like building I like meeting I may never see you again
This same positive outlook and social personality shielded Monique from even considering potentially being disciplined in college. In addition to the previously
119 discussed conditioning to high school discipline, Monique immediately defined college as the “real” world in comparison to high school. The unnecessary troubles of being in the hallway or on her phone in class could not find its way into the college environment from her point of view. When asked to describe what could cause discipline on a college campus, it was clear that Monique was only exposed to the academic consequences of discipline such as the issue of plagiarism. With a lack of information about what all could lead to discipline and the types of disciplinary infractions possible within a college environment, Monique created her own delineation between what was right and wrong.
More serious actions such as cheating or stealing were ranked as main causes of discipline on college campuses in Monique’s eyes and also, major things that she was sure to avoid. When discussing how she would feel if she ever was to receive a disciplinary fraction on her campus, Monique’s summary was one of complete ownership. “I think I would kind of feel kind of bad because I feel like in order to get disciplined in college you have to do something. I really feel like you have to do something.”
With less worry in mind about the potential for discipline, I decided that I wanted to better understand just how Monique reached this point in her life. From severe discipline in middle school to uttered joy in navigating college, I wanted to understand how Monique evolved into the person in front of me. So, with a moment of reflection, I simply asked Monique, “what did you learn from high school?” Her answer was not only personal and simple but also insightful in terms of how discipline should be changed within the secondary education system:
120 “…I had to learn kind of to take accountability. Even though it was little petty
stuff. At the end of day, it was still wrong. It was still against the rules and you
have to own up to it, you have to deal with the consequences… they're trying to
prepare us for the real world for what's to come.”
“…find different alternatives... Or even try to hear them out. Don't just be like
"I'm the authoritarian and you just don't say anything” …And least try to give
them the benefit of doubt.”
Simply put, Monique learned to take accountability but expected to be heard in return.
Serenity Davis: The Prickly Pear
Serenity was the first to be interviewed for the entire study. I was just as nervous as she was as we began to engage in small talk before jumping into the interview.
Serenity was calm yet serious. She was direct in her communication yet soft spoken. I could gauge from these initial cues that Serenity wanted to share her story but there was pain and discomfort connected to it. My attempts to be inviting were well received as we engaged in small talk and introductory questions within our first interview. Serenity cautiously made herself more comfortable in her chair across from me almost as a signal of trust between the two of us. However, the trust also mirrored her trying to brace herself for the stories and experiences she was going to revisit. From here, I proceeded carefully to learn generally about her high school environment.
Unlike other participants, Serenity had experiences with two separate high schools as she transferred to a new school at the beginning of her sophomore year. When describing the first high school she attended, it almost felt like a scene from a movie. The
121 traditional, urban high school filled with violence amongst students and the surrounding community that is held together by supportive teachers. Serenity made it clear, however, that support was more aimed at making sure students stayed out of trouble and could make it home safely instead of being academically focused. Serenity reflected on the messages about college at her first school and it was pretty clear that it was not an expectation or priority for all students. “It was more like if you're not going to play sports, or you're not going to dedicate your life to college, you're not going to get there.
And that's pretty much what they taught us because they wanted us under the impression that we weren't worthy enough to go to college because college isn't for poor black kids.”
This story I knew all too well and therefore, was thankful when Serenity began to discuss her second high school.
Her second high school experience occurred in a magnet school for gifted students with special emphasis on the arts. The comparison between the two schools was like night and day when Serenity began to describe the new environment. This large school gave Serenity more access to pursue her passion, dance, while also honing her academic skills to prepare her for college. She was introduced to the possibility of even taking college courses while enrolled in high school. With a fresh start, Serenity began to take her high school by storm through engagement. When not performing in dance concerts, Serenity could be found supporting school administrators in the development and planning of programs aimed at unifying her high school community and exposure to attending college. Although encouraged and celebrated for her level of engagement, this
122 began Serenity’s disciplinary issues in school. The following I Poem eludes to Serenity’s high level of involvement in high school:
I was I went I did I danced I was I liked twirling I’d dance I was I don’t even remember I was I danced I started I am I was I did
With being so involved in her high school, Serenity sometimes missed classes in order to support the administrators in planning and preparing for events. A particular instance she shared was with her Spanish teacher who called her mother and marked her absent from school each time she missed her class. From Serenity’s point of view, she had permission to miss the class to help out and was also excelling in the class because she had experience with learning Spanish prior to this course in which she completed all her work and test even without being present. When contacted, Serenity’s mother was confused but less concerned with the behavior the teacher was sharing because she knew
Serenity was a “good” child. When describing this to me, Serenity seemed to define good with academic performance. In that area, she was quite gifted and successful in her courses causing little concern from others. Therefore, it was hard for Serenity to make sense of the issue with missing class if she was performing well academically. However,
123 Serenity was a leader and especially in the classroom environment. It was so natural to her that she led entire rooms of people without even noticing her influence. Her Spanish teacher finally shared with her why it was necessary for Serenity to be in class. “She just didn't agree with me missing class. And I didn't really understand why until she told me, when I'm in class, that's when participation's up.” Although frustrating, Serenity had a better understanding of the “why” behind the issue and this was important for her as this is how she was socialized to work through conflict, discussion.
The second prominent memory of discipline for Serenity occurred later on in her high school career, when she began to sell snacks to her peers in school. Serenity was excited and also proud of the fact that she was taking her first step into entrepreneurship.
From her description, I could feel the pride she had in her ability to take ownership of her business and the success that it garnered. However, it was not well received by teachers or administrators. Serenity’s troubles began when her sales started to interfere with the school’s sales of healthier options. When called to the office to discuss the need for her to end her business, she was met with a proposition from her principal, “So then when I got sent to his office, he had told me, ‘Well, in order for you to continue selling snacks, you have to give the school a percentage.’" Angry and confused, Serenity denied the principal’s request for the school to profit from her sales. From that day forward, Serenity reported feelings of being watched by school officers, staff and teachers. The following I
Poem describes Serenity’s feelings of being under scrutiny in school:
I feel I was I feel I had 124 I dance I’m carrying a duffle bag I wasn’t in class I had a duffle bag I’m just walking I kept I would tell I did I just felt I was walking I seemed suspicious I had I was getting in trouble I’m not supposed to be I can eat I think I felt like a target
Serenity described the high school environment as becoming more and more unwelcoming as she got closer to graduation. In addition to feeling like a target, her principal continued to threaten her admission to college once he heard wind of her acceptances. Isolated by teachers and staff and monitored by administrators, Serenity no longer trusted her surroundings or environment. “My duffle bag was getting searched every other day. If I wasn't in class and I had a duffle bag, someone's like, "let me see your duffle bag." One of the officers or if I'm just walking down the hallway with a group of friends, ‘what are you doing, you're not supposed to be selling snacks.’" Not only did she feel unsafe, but she also felt judged and misunderstood. However, the feeling of needing to escape the space was used as motivation to graduate high school and prove those who doubted her wrong.
As we ended the first interview, I could see a sense of relief from Serenity. She was so used to having to defend her point of view or being misunderstood that being
125 heard without judgment was a welcomed surprise. She began to open up to me once the interview was over about some of the trouble she was having academically in college, specifically writing. As we talked through her paper and explored her ideas, I saw vulnerability in Serenity. It was a moment of her letting her guard down and showing that she needed something from someone instead of being worried about how they would react. I could tell that this was not the person people got to see in her high school or rather did not take the time to acknowledge. From that conversation, we both left the space at peace in comparison to the way we entered it.
As the second interview began, Serenity was more talkative and willing to share some of the personal things she had been experiencing since the last time we met. I took this as a good sign and moved into our interview. When Serenity began to discuss her experience in college, you could begin to see the discomfort in her experience manifest in her body. She looked uncertain and uncomfortable as she began to reflect on her time in the space. There was more difficulty centered around acclimating to the environment that was different from her home environment. “It's kind of a lot to adjust to, especially coming from a community where there is African-Americans everywhere and you really don't see them a lot here. It's very different and it's kind of hard to navigate and feel comfortable and just for now.” Although it was easy to attribute the uneasiness to issues of transition, Serenity’s discussion of discipline in college illuminated the picture she was trying to paint of her college experience.
The first experience Serenity had with discipline occurred with her roommate, who identified as white, in her residence hall. From the beginning of their time together
126 Serenity expressed a disconnect and lack of understanding between the two of them.
However, Serenity choose clear and direct dialogue to discuss with her roommate what she did and did not like in their shared space. With her roommate choosing to discontinue talking, the level of discomfort rose between Serenity and her roommate. Issues came to a head when Serenity mentioned in a conversation to a friend that she had a water gun in her room from her summer program. Her roommate reported her to residence hall staff due to feeling threatened and concerned for her safety. Without Serenity’s knowledge, police were called to search her room and she was heavily interrogated. Serenity was not only confused by the incident but overwhelmed as she was bombarded with questions from both the police and residence hall staff, who also identified as white. There was a sense of panic in Serenity’s voice describing the event to me. She was caught off-guard and wanted to clear her name. Eventually, with no evidence of a weapon within the room, the allegations and charges were dropped in addition to her roommate moving out of the space.
This experience left Serenity with bad memories and a quick reminder of why she should not trust in educational environments. In her own words, Serenity described her coping mechanism as “staying out of the way.” For her, it was easier to avoid trouble by not engaging with authority figures of any type and especially not campus police officers.
Serenity now carried a burden of protecting herself through the self-deprecating method of making herself small and as close to invisible to others as possible. This was not her norm. She was used to talking to others, helping, engaging, discussing, and now that was more dangerous than ever for her college experience. When reflecting on how she saw
127 her high school experiences connecting to college, Serenity was somber. The following I
Poem portrays the disappointment Serenity felt from what her experiences taught her:
I would say I ask I was I feel I got I feel I think I realized I didn’t do anything I could still end up in trouble I mean I have to I’m not wanting I feel I kind of have to I’ll make it I don’t talk
Serenity found that navigating the campus in silence was her best option for survival.
She could not jeopardize her future even if it meant playing small to appease those around her.
Summary
In this chapter, portraits of participants were revealed to help humanize the experiences of participants while sharing the overarching stories within their interviews.
Overall, each participant discussed elements they found significant in their stories to help provide context about their experience with discipline. In addition, participants also reviewed how they were currently experiencing their collegiate environments and experience or potential of experiencing discipline at Midwestern University. In the
128 following chapter, findings across participants’ stories are explored in order to begin analyzing their experiences.
129 Chapter Five: Findings
The purpose of this study was to explore first-year, Black collegiate women’s experiences with disciplinary action in high school and its influence on their view of and current experience in higher education through portraiture methodology. To support the portraits of participants shared in chapter four, the findings of this study highlight the commonalities and differences amongst participants’ experiences with discipline and policing in high school and their collegiate experience. As outlined further in the following paragraphs, the findings are separated into themes that emerged from my analyses across participants’ stories.
This chapter was written in order to explore the unwritten story participants told through sharing a similar lived experience. In addition to providing context around participants’ experiences with discipline upon entering college, I wanted readers to understand that high school experiences and experiences in college do not occur in siloes.
As depicted in the findings, high school experiences had much influence on the way participants chose to navigate Midwestern University in order to avoid the potential of discipline. More traditional methods of coding were used during the review of transcripts using the constant-comparative method. There were 10 themes explored as participants’ stories unfold from entering high school to transitioning to college.
130 Entering High School
Participants were asked to describe certain elements of their experience including environment and persona to develop an understanding of their high schools in context.
The description of environments allowed me to envision how the participant perceived their high school setting. In addition, participants shared how they felt others perceived them in high school including teachers, administrators, and peers. Identified as high school persona, this description illuminated a shared meaning of what participants defined as being one of the “good kids” in school.
Seeing High School in Black and White
Each participant described their high school environments and what they felt were unique attributes of their school to provide context, however, the characteristic of racial demographic was heavily stressed. Essentially, high school environments matched the polarizing nature of society to define spaces as either Black or white. For participants, terms like “predominantly Black,” “predominantly white,” or “people like me” were utilized to help me understand the context of the school environment and also, preface explanations of comfort or discomfort in navigating their high school environments.
Overall, within each participant story, the presence of race in the high school environment developed a context of who should be disciplined and what was considered an offense that warranted disciplinary sanctioning. As described by Angel, the experience of being the “only one” was engrained into her memory and consistent through her time throughout high school:
131 …I went to a predominantly white school, so I was the only Black girl in my class
for two years out of high school. The other year there was one other Black girl, so
there was two Black girls. I mean, my class was small. We had about 33 kids, but
I mean, two out of 33 is still a small amount.
Participants who attended predominantly white high schools, Angel and Marissa, also described instances of tokenization and discrimination within their environments since they were one of few Black students at their respective schools. Both Angel and Marissa were highly visible within their high school environments due to their Blackness whether they were aware of it upon entering high school or after experiencing discipline. As described in her portrait, Angel was tokenized to provide the “Black perspective” in class when discussing racial differences and inequities amongst her white teacher and peers.
Similarly, Marissa discussed moments of questioning if she was being treated unfairly and disciplined due to her Blackness. When asked to reflect on a memory of being disciplined, Marissa shared:
I don't want to say... I don't know how to say it, but I just feel like they said
something to me and the other two people, because of our skin color… I felt like
they favored the white people more than the Black people at that school.
Therefore, Marissa and Angel were consistently aware of the polarizing nature of race in their high school environment due to the oversaturation of the population being majority white across staff, teachers, administrators, and peers. Beyond representation, race was a primary factor in how they were treated in their environments and ultimately, how they experienced discipline.
132 In contrast, Kiara, Monique, and Serenity attended predominantly Black high schools. Within their environments, participants experienced feelings of belonging based on the ease they found in engaging with other students in their schools. However, the division of race still occurred in their high schools but was limited to specific spaces or enforced by certain authority figures, specifically white teachers. Kiara described her honor’s courses as being majority white and the clear difference she began to see between herself and her white peers, “…I [was] always held to a high standard, because I was in classes with people who didn't look like me, but my grades looked like their grades. But I didn't act like them. I didn't talk like them.” Although Kiara was qualified to be in the academic space of an honor’s class, the number of white students in the space created a distinction for Kiara of spaces where she “fit” or did not belong due to her Blackness and behavior. In addition, Kiara acknowledged how she changed behaviors when in the classroom versus in social settings with her friends. The predominantly white class settings triggered this need to act differently for Kiara in which she described:
I pretty much had a good relationship with my teachers, but they only knew the
classroom me. When I wasn't in the classroom, or out in the hallway with my
friends, it would just be something totally different that they wouldn't expect to
see.
Even though participants’ school environments were predominantly Black, they could still identify instances of being targeted amongst their non-Black peers by white teachers, staff, or administrators. For example, during her interview, Monique identified a white teacher who targeted Black students in her classes to receive disciplinary sanctions.
133 Monique was more so frustrated with this experience because she was involved in unifying her high school peers who identified as majority Black but came from different cultural backgrounds. Monique described how this specific white teacher undermined her efforts to develop inclusivity through bias treatment, “she only targeted the Black kids.
The other white kids, they ain't never have no other issues. So, I don't know if she was racist or what.” Therefore, predominantly Black environments that initially provided participants with comfort and security also included spaces that created racialized dichotomies between Black and white and treatment based on this difference. While navigating these environments, participants developed personas that would be seen as positive in each environment.
“I was a good student”
To successfully maneuver and/or survive their high school environments, participants developed the persona of being “good students.” The ability to be seen as
“good” was what each participant clung to in order to gain access to support networks amongst teachers and administrators, educational benefits, and most importantly, avoiding discipline. When reviewing how they described themselves, it was clear that the idea of being good was related to what was rewarded and celebrated by their teachers, staff, and administrators in their high school environments. Elements such as being academically successful and highly involved in their high school community were key factors participants highlighted that set them apart from their surrounding peers.
However, each participant experienced feelings of dissonance when their perceived benefits of “goodness” were unattainable due to their salient identities as Black girls.
134 Each participant expressed their ability to excel in the classroom while also maintaining involvement in various extra-curricular activities such as sports, clubs, school programming, and academic organizations. For most, staying involved was a way to maintain focus in school since they were not overly challenged by their high school curriculum. Kiara shared, “A lot of things that I did in high school was to keep me on track and not to lose motivation, because I hate being bored… So, I just kept busy so I could push.” In addition to maintaining focus, participants noted that being involved was a way to get involved but also would be beneficial for college admissions. As stated by
Marissa, “I just wanted to meet different people and try new things, and plus it’s good like for my college applications to be involved in things.” When asked to describe their
“high school personas,” each participant initially alluded to their academic success as a characteristic of their identity in high school:
“I would care a lot about my grades, so I did well. When I didn't do well is when I
didn't feel like doing well.” – Angel
“I was just a supportive little sister, but I was also really smart. Sometimes, some
of the boys would need help or whatever. I would help them.” – Kiara
“I [got] great grades. I graduated as valedictorian.” – Monique
“It [her academic performance] was good. Mostly A's and B's… I think I was
number nine, so I was on the edge of top 10 [in her graduating class].” – Marissa
“My academic performance, I would say, really, really good. I graduated top of
my class, I was always at the top of my class.” - Serenity
135 Participants seemed to perform well academically and engage with school activities because of genuine interest but also as a means to develop a positive reputation.
The burden of overinvolvement. The need to be viewed favorably in addition to performing well academically encouraged participants to also be overly involved in extra-curricular activities. For example, Angel was involved with multiple activities in addition to identifying as a student athlete. Marissa was involved in the drama and yearbook club. Kiara was also a student athlete and very involved in several clubs including being a photographer for student home games. Monique was a member of the international club that created unified programming amongst the diverse student population of her high school. While involved with the arts at her high school, Serenity also developed and planned a college access event in her high school to utilize her school’s alumni network. Each student played an integral role in the success of their schools while maintaining high academic achievements amongst their graduating classes.
From their ability to balance academics and involvement, participants became viewed as dependable by teachers and administrators leading to an increased amount of request and expectation for them to become more involved in extra-curricular activities.
Students could identify benefits from being involved in various activities in high school as it relates to access to opportunities, however, the balancing act of maintaining stellar academics and overinvolvement socialized participants into the “Strong Black Woman” or “Superwoman” trope. The “Strong Black Woman” is a misconception of Black women’s ability to always be strong and maintain high emotional tolerance in turn pressuring Black women to seek perfection and feel shame when they fall short (Harris-
136 Perry, 2011). For Black girls, generally, and participants of this study, the model of the
“Strong Black Woman” encouraged the development of independence and responsibility.
The encouragement from teachers and administrators to continue involvement further reinforced to participants the importance of increasing their amount of service to their high school community.
The burden of overinvolvement and expectation of administrators for participants to be involved caused some participants to miss class continuously. In describing the hectic nature of her high school schedule, Serenity stated:
I was never really in class, especially at [high school], because I was either
performing, or [on] someone's committee, coming up with something, helping the
principals with something, I was just always doing something. I was just all over
the place. I did a lot.
Marissa alluded to a similar pressure of being overly engaged in high school activities.
When asked how involved Marissa was in high school, she simply stated, “So much involved that it stressed me out.” Overall, participants were called upon to be involved and encouraged to believe that they would benefit from their level of involvement in terms of faring better in the college admission process but also by developing closer relationships to administrators.
Selective protection from discipline. From their involvement, most participants developed a distinct level of access to upper administration in their schools, such as principals, that sometimes created an occasional false security in their ability to escape punishment for smaller offenses with teachers. Monique described knowingly breaking
137 school rules because she did not fear punishment from her principal due to her relationship developed with them through her involvement:
…we did used to leave school to go get lunch. We did. But one thing I can kind of
say is, since my principal knew who I was, he kind of let me. I was one of the
smart kids who could kind of get away with certain stuff.
Kiara also shared similar sentiments of being protected from discipline due to the relationships she established with administrators:
My principal didn't want me to get suspended, because it was my last offense
before I lost my scholarship… So, he put me in that [in-school suspension] for
five days. It didn't count as a suspension, but to my teachers it looked like a
suspension. He really should have suspended me, because I destroyed the library.
Therefore, participants’ thoughts around the benefits of being “good” were sometimes supported when administrators would treat them as if they were exempt from consequences because of their reputation. However, this selective protection from administrators projected an unclear messaging to students about whose authority counted and the possibility to always be exempt. In addition, as mentioned this form of protection was not guaranteed and backfired for participants multiple times when attempting to avoid discipline. It is important to note that some of the disciplinary infractions participants received were a result of their extra-curricular involvement even though it was sometimes perceived as related to a student’s behavior or attitude.
138 Varying High School Discipline
When asked to reflect on a time where they experienced discipline in high school, each participant could immediately identify more than one instance vividly. The level of severity in disciplinary sanctions varied amongst participants from detention to out of school suspension. When compared across participant stories, decisions for disciplinary sanctioning or policing were very ambiguous yet targeted. In addition, there were complaints from participants that some disciplinary infractions they received were harsher than their actual offense. With each incident shared, participants expressed a lack of clarity around the exact cause for the sanction they received while also acknowledging how the racially polarizing environment influenced their experience with discipline.
Attack on academics. As mentioned, participants performed well academically during high school. However, some teachers chose to lower their grades through documenting behavioral issues as “participation points.” Angel described her experience with this form of discipline:
she made us all download a behavioral app, and she would give behavior reports,
and we would get graded off of that. So, my grade would go down because she
would put me in for a zero, because I was quietly talking to a friend next to me,
asking them a question.
In addition, some participants shared experiences of their grades suffering when teachers did not support them in the completion of assignments as a form of discipline. In both
Monique and Angel’s portraits, grades they received on particular assignments were reflective of difficulties they expressed having with a specific teacher. In Angel’s case,
139 her refusal to change her Black Panther and Black Lives Matter paper topic based on the opinion of her teacher led to her receiving a B- on her paper, one of the lowest grades she received in high school. Similarly, Monique requested help from a teacher who she had difficulties within the classroom and was sent to another teacher and then received a 70% on her assignment.
Verbal reprimand. Each participant had experienced discipline through a verbal reprimand of an authority figure during high school. The verbal reprimands experienced span from directions to call parents or guardians to being yelled at during class. Across each story, participants expressed a feeling of being targeted amongst their peers through the use of verbal reprimands. For example, similar to the specific example shared in
Monique’s portrait, Monique also spoke the most about being “yelled at” to be quiet or threatened with a phone call home in front of peers for usually speaking in class. When participants were reprimanded in class in front of peers, they experienced a sense of confusion and embarrassment and these feelings were exacerbated as the severity of discipline increased.
Isolation. Continuing with the idea of targeting individuals in the classroom setting, participants also shared times in their high school classes where they were separated from their classmates. Two participants remembered times when teachers would move their seats to areas in the class away from their peers. In doing so, the student could not engage with classroom learning and was also ignored by their teacher as if they were invisible. Monique recalled her reaction to be asked to sit outside by the same teacher several times, “The teacher, my sophomore year. We got in trouble; she
140 would put a desk outside. So, I had to sit out there a couple of times... I didn't really care.” Although shared humorously during the focus group interview, Kiara also shared a time of being isolated from classmates:
And my teacher, I was in the corner away from all the other students…I'm like,
“Wow, my teacher really had me in the corner.” She had me in the corner! – Like
this chair in the corner, and all of y'all just ... Her desk over there, and y'all just
engaged.
When teachers chose to isolate students from others to maintain order in class, participants explained how this disrupted their opportunity to learn and engage.
Removal from the learning environment. Some participants felt that teachers wanted to “get rid of them.” This included placing students outside in the hallway while class was in session, pulling students out of class to discuss past disciplinary issues, and sending students to the office. In each of these instances, students were unable to engage within the learning environment as a punitive measure to address issues of discipline.
Kiara described an instance of being pulled out of class to discuss an off-campus disagreement with another student:
The police officers came, so I just got up out of there and went home. Monday
comes, and I go back to school. They pull me out of class. I'm already mad
because I know what it's about. Don't pull me out of class for this. Don't pull me
out of class for this.
Participants expressed their frustration with this tactic to correct student behavior and how it does not align with the purpose of attending school, gaining knowledge. Kiara
141 shared her point of view about high school discipline being strictly punitive and less beneficial:
Just send me back to class. Let me be here in class…I feel like the way they did in
my high school for disciplinary, it wasn't to fix it...Y'all just got rid of us, or you
tell me you're going to teach me a lesson because I don't care to be in here and
talk to this girl when I'm in a physics class that I am struggling in.
Most participants shared comparable views on high school discipline being mostly excessive when considering the nature of their offenses and the interference with their learning.
Detention. Detention was used as another form of disciplining students after school hours. Most participants shared a similar experience of being sequestered to a room with other students and held in silence for a certain timeframe. During this time students were expected to reflect on their “wrongdoings” in hopes to not return.
However, this form of discipline actually caused some participants more frustration and confusion. As discussed in Marissa’s portrait, her experience with detention for commenting on a friend’s Facebook post left her confused, “But I honestly saw nothing wrong in what I did.” Angel shared similar confusion and frustration as Marissa when she was given detention two times in one week by the same teacher. Angel was sentenced to detention because she was perceived to be speaking in class. However, Angel felt targeted by her teacher because she felt her behavior was miniscule in comparison to her peers who blatantly spoke out in class:
142 Don't teach high school kids if you don't know how to handle a classroom,
especially freshmen, like they're going to be childish. And so, it was me almost
every day…I would get a detention. I got a detention one time, two times in one
week, for looking at a friend. And it was kind of like ‘how’?
Similar to confusion of being removed from the learning environment, participants who experienced discipline in the form of detention did not understand the purpose of this sanction. Instead participants developed feelings of frustration from being ostracized for unexplained reasons.
Suspension. The last and most severe, punitively, type of discipline experienced by participants was suspension. Of the five participants, only two mentioned experiencing a form of suspension during their high school experience. Kiara briefly discussed her experience with in-school suspension in the form a mentoring program for students who were displaying behavioral issues or experienced recent disciplinary sanctions. Reflected in her portrait, Kiara’s emotional responses are what led to her experiences with suspension. Although fully aware of the severity of her actions and the expected consequences, Kiara did not engage during the in-school suspension programming. Kiara stated, “I didn't want to talk to nobody. Y'all just think I'm here going crazy over a boy, but y'all don't know what's going on. I didn't want to talk to nobody…I just did my work, that was it.”
On the other hand, Serenity experienced out of school suspensions during her high school experience. Although, in comparison, out of school suspension is the most severe form of discipline explored in this study, Serenity viewed it as a small offense.
143 Her perception of this disciplinary sanction was based on the small offenses committed that led to her suspension:
…and every time I felt threatened, or I felt like you were trying to hold me back, I
always kind of just used my mouth, and it always got me in trouble. Three-day
suspensions, or one day in-school suspensions, small stuff like that. I think that's
small because I think I was just trying to defend myself, but I guess it was big
enough for suspension.
Across participant experiences, there was significant variability in adhering to high school disciplinary policies and the level and type of sanctioning per offense. As the decision was left to the discretion of those in authority, these examples depict the ambiguity of policies and how students are then impacted by the choice and opinion of others. The ambiguity of policies does not necessarily aid students in the morally reflective process of developing an understanding of why certain behaviors are deemed
“good or bad.” Instead, participants experienced punishment that led to frustration or aversion to those in authority. The ambiguity and lack of clear understanding of discipline was further exacerbated for participants based on discrepancies amongst authoritative figures and other areas in their life where they experienced discipline.
The Ambiguity of Discipline
Disciplinary sanctioning that occurred in the high school setting varied based on who was left to enforce the original sanction. Participants discussed the differences in teacher and administrator attitudes toward discipline in school. When acted upon, the differences supported a participant’s false security of escaping discipline. This lack of
144 cohesiveness in the regulation of discipline further increased the level of ambiguity and understanding participants developed in times of trouble. In addition, when locating a frame of reference for the discipline experienced in school, participants used discipline experienced in home and/or community settings to make sense of their sanction.
However, the lack of similarity in reasons for discipline and how issues were addressed caused participants to experience dissonance when acknowledging disciplinary sanctions in school.
Undermining of teachers by administrators. Although discipline severity varied amongst participants, teachers who issued disciplinary sanctions did not always have the support of administrators. As described by participants, administrators had the power to change or ignore disciplinary sanctions issued by teachers. The choice of administrators to change or cancel sanctions issued by teachers, ultimately, undermined the authority of teachers in front of students. In addition, when completing duties for extra-curricular activities, most participants were working directly with administrators in their schools such as principals. The relationships formed with administrators during these activities supported the development of the “good student” persona. However, this continuous cycle of viewing teachers and their discipline being undermined by others sent a message to participants in the study to not take discipline seriously.
Depicted in Serenity’s portrait is a clear example of discrepancies between administrative staff and teachers in participants’ high schools. In this example, Serenity was involved with planning a program for her high school and was allowed by administrators to miss class to support their planning efforts. However, this involvement
145 was not communicated to the teacher who assumed Serenity was willfully missing her course. In the midst of being disciplined, Serenity felt empowered to continue missing this course due to the support of administrators and their assurance of not adhering to the teacher’s sanctions. Similarly, Monique experienced discipline that was also undermined by administrators in her high school. Monique shared the outcome of being sanctioned for detention:
…I had another lunch detention for the same reason. And then the other principal
seen me, he was like, “Why are you here?” And I was like, “Because I went to go
get food.” He was like, “Sit here for five minutes and then you're gone.”
However, this conflicting message only perpetuated the amount of disciplinary sanctions participants experienced due to unchanged behavior. Participants assumed they could rely on administrators who viewed them as “good students” to address disciplinary concerns of others. However, the relationships participants had with administrators did not always save them from being discipline overall as discussed in previous sections. The discrepancies in discipline amongst administrators and teachers was also present when considering differences between discipline in school and out of school.
Discipline at home versus in school. In addition to in-school discipline, each participant also acknowledged being disciplined in other environments, mostly at home amongst their parents and guardians. The form of discipline, either physical or verbal, differed from what students experienced in the school setting. Participants could find valid reasoning in the discipline they experienced by parents. In addition, the response to discipline at home did not match the need for dialogue participants longed for in school
146 settings to understand the issues with their behavior. Serenity explained how being disciplined by her mom was preparation for the real word:
I've been disciplined a lot at home, but that's mainly just learning what to do, what
not to do, my mom trying to teach me about the world which I don't really
consider discipline, which is more a learning experience, but it's still considered
discipline.
There were fewer reports of ambiguity which led to clearer understanding of why discipline was necessary in certain situations.
In addition to clearer expectations from parents and guardians, parents and guardians also exposed participants to other ways to understand reasons for discipline and restorative practices. Serenity explained that her mother instilled in her the importance of being able to communicate across difference and understanding. Growing up, her mother experienced abuse and refused to subject her children to a similar upbringing. Serenity explained, “she [her mother] was abused. So, she doesn't want that to happen to me, so her way was talking and coming to an understanding. Which is like how I try to do now with people.” However, this lesson learned from home did not translate to the school environment she inhabited. As teachers attempted to discipline Serenity for reasons unexplained, she initiated conversation to challenge their decisions. With a goal for her point of view to be heard, she expected for those in authority to communicate with her while also accepting her feelings and thoughts. Serenity recalled:
I think I was always communicating to the point where my teachers was like,
“I've never had a student really tell me they don't like how I teach, or they feel I
147 should teach this way.” And I think they were kind of like ... I don't know, not
threatened by it, but it made them feel a little uncomfortable.
Although some participants expected to engage in dialogue with teachers about their disciplinary sanctions, teachers were not open to this communication leading to harsher consequences for Serenity. In a similar fashion, Angel was also vocal in her high school classroom. The difference between the participants is Angel’s need to speak in class came from a space of engaging in her learning environment. As her teacher posed questions to the class, Angel would respond to fill awkward silences or pauses in class because she knew the answers. This behavior was accepted by her teacher for some time until one day
Angel spoke out in class and was told to stop speaking.
I mean, it was just she liked me at first because I was like answering questions. I
thought she was pretty cool…And then she was like, “You know what? No more
talking.” …And then I was talking to my friend, but quietly, like I mean, it wasn't
like I was super-loud, and she was like, “Angel, that's strike one.”
Similar to Serenity, this experience was different than the way Angel experienced discipline amongst her parents. Serenity described how her mother handles issues of discipline at home:
Well, I felt like with my mom I can kind of just like talk to her, be like, “You
know, I really don't like that.” And even if she doesn't agree, we can at least have
a conversation about it…Because with my mom I could just be like, “You know, I
don't really understand this.” And sometimes moms be like, “Oh, well, I don't
have to explain it to you.” But my mom isn't like that all the time.
148 As described by Angel, although her mother was firm in her role as an authority figure, she also considered engaging in dialogue with Angel about her behavior. Therefore, home environments created learning experiences from discipline that participants could understand through dialogue which was a stark contrast from participants experiences with teachers in school.
Coping with Discipline
After experiencing discipline in high school, each participant expressed their reaction to this experience. Some reactions were mostly emotional in nature while others were complete shifts in the mindsets of participants. Although participants experienced different types of discipline during high school, the discipline experienced influenced the ways they chose to engage with others and navigate their high school environments going forward. Some of the ways participants decided to cope could also be seen as self- deprecating in nature.
Limited participation. As a result of “getting in trouble” or being disciplined during high school, some participants expressed losing certain privileges. These privileges were typically connected to their level of engagement or participation in their extra-curricular activities, including both academic and athletic opportunities. Kiara explained how her suspension revoked her eligibility to participate in the National Honor
Society:
I couldn't be Treasurer. I couldn't be in National Honor Society. Then the next
year, senior year, I got inducted in National Honor Society again. That stuff with
my other boyfriend happened, I couldn't be in National Honor Society again.
149 Although Kiara acknowledged her ability to participate was a consequence of her own actions, she and other participants also mentioned how teachers who were involved with extra-curricular activities created barriers as well. Related back to the development of reputation and the perceptions of teachers, some participants were judged based on prior issues with discipline and barred from participation. In addition to academics, participants who were members of athletic teams or groups also experienced limited participation due to discipline. Serenity described being unable to perform although dance was a part of her high school curriculum and vital to her experience:
…most of my punishment with my coaches or outside activities was, “Well, she
can't participate in the show,” even though we had worked really, really hard from
start to finish on this show, or for this event, and you're telling me that I can't host
it, or I can't dance in it.
Even with already receiving a sanction for their actions, the consequences of their actions moved beyond their sanctions into their ability to engage within their high school communities.
Lack of trust in authority. Participants also expressed how their experiences with discipline, particularly instances that seemed excessive or unnecessary, left them not trusting of most teachers or administrators. Specifically, the disciplinary actions taken against students by administrators and teachers caused participants to then question their behaviors and motives going forward. Angel discussed her approach to relationships with others after experiencing challenging issues with discipline:
150 I kind of just kind of pulled back and kind of looked at everything, and was like, I
really don't know who these people are, so I just kind of was like, I'm going to just
chill, I'm not going to go out of my way trying to be best friends with people…I'll
say "hi" and that's all I have to do.
Kiara, on the other hand, began to evaluate the actions of those who sanctioned her after the incident. She was not trusting of their intentions and rather distance herself from those in question. Kiara stated: “You didn't want to talk to me before I got here, so why are you trying to talk to me now.”
Finding support. Participants instead clung to teachers or administrators whom they already had close relationships with as they continued to move through high school.
When reflecting on systems of support in high school when experiencing discipline, the list of trusted council was short. Four of the five participants could at least identify one teacher or administrator they could rely on for support. When explaining how they found support from these select individuals, participants unanimously described their supporters as advocates, truth-tellers, and most importantly, listeners. Advocacy for participants was a person’s display of protecting or speaking up for them in times of trouble. Kiara reflected on the support of her guidance counselor as an advocate:
There was a police officer who came and got me. My counselor was like my best
friend. He's a guidance counselor at our school, but he was telling them, "Let me
talk to her first. Let me talk to her first.
The willingness of the counselor to intervene on Kiara’s behalf before the situation escalated spoke volumes to her about her ability to trust her counselor. This display of
151 care and concern was not displayed by all administrators or teachers, making it easier for students to identify those they could seek for support.
In terms of truth-telling, most participants also acknowledged their appreciation of teachers or administrators that gave honest feedback about their behavior or disciplinary infractions. This truth was acceptable from certain teachers and administrators because participants had an established relationship with them. In addition, the feedback they received was not judgmental in nature but more so based in honesty and sometimes harsh realities. Kiara shared what a Black female counselor told her about how Black girls are perceived by others:
Ms. James [pseudonym], one of her bosses was like, “These Black nigger girls, all
they want to do is fight.” She was like, “Y'all just proving them right. I can't even
argue, because y'all just proving them right.”
Although the truth of their behavior and the perceptions of others were hurtful and hard to hear, it forced participants to reflect on their actions. Kiara was left to consider how her behavior was supporting a negative narrative that ill-representative of who she was as
Black, developing woman.
Serenity shared a similar experience with her assistant principal and psychology teacher as truth-tellers. Each person allowed Serenity the space to explain her point of view and affirmed her thoughts before explaining what could have potentially led to her discipline. She described how her assistant principal would help her understand both sides of disciplinary infractions while also challenging Serenity to review her decision- making and behavior:
152 …I got sent to him so much and it was always over the smallest things, and he's
just like, “Sit here and we're going to talk about it. I'm going to show you how to
understand from his or her point of view, and then I'm going to send you to your
next class.”
The readiness of the trusted teachers and administrators of participants to listen to their point of view also facilitated most of the growth and bonding that occurred in their relationship. Participants who identified support within their high school environments consistently shared that the feelings of being heard, understood, and treated with respect encouraged them to continue seeking help from their supporters and to maintain the relationship they were developing.
Parental support. Participants referred to family or close friends as support for them when experiencing disciplinary issues in high school. Parents seemed to be the most prominent support when disciplinary infractions affected the academic performance of participants. Monique shared her difficulty in receiving help from a teacher she had disciplinary history with and how her mother advocated on her behalf:
So, I had this paper due and I asked her for help. And she wouldn't help me. Or
she would do the bare minimum to help me. Or she would send me to the other
teacher who's not even grading the paper and then I got a 70 on it and it was the
most weighted part of our grade… So, my mom calls her and she's like, “If she
asked you for help, why couldn't you help her?”
Although Monique attempted to address the problem on her own, the support of her mother affirmed her experience. Unfortunately, the teacher’s biases were revealed as she
153 chose to continue to unnecessarily discipline Monique due to resentment towards her mother for demanding support for her child.
Serenity had a similar experience with discipline, academics, and parent involvement. In relation to Serenity missing class to support school events and projects, her teacher did not agree with her attendance in class and called her mother daily to address her concerns, “ …she would call my mom. And my mom would answer the phone because my mom's like, ‘My daughter doesn't really do much, so if you're calling, it must be important.’” Serenity’s mother showed support by establishing a positive narrative of her daughter before engaging in conversation with the teacher. In turn,
Serenity felt supported enough at school and home to continue to engage in extra- curricular activities without her academics being impacted. For most parents, a drop in their child’s was an alarm that there was an issue happening in school that needed to be addressed. In addition, most parents came to the defense of their children as they knew their children to perform well in school regardless of the subject or level of difficulty.
Although not present in school with participants, the amount of dedicated support from parents was meaningful to participants who felt misunderstood by most in their high schools.
Disinterest in school. The final consequence of discipline for some participants was a disinterest in school. Their disinterest in school was an overall generalization of not enjoying educational environments. Angel described how overall disinterest in school developed from her interactions with teachers during high school:
154 I still don't like school. But I'm trying to think when did I stop liking school,
because I definitely stopped liking school. I used to like school, you know, get up,
you know it be when you're younger. But I think it when I stopped liking my
teachers is when I stopped liking school. It was just kind of like, “I don't even
want to come to class because my teachers are ridiculous.”
According to participants, it was teacher’s negative and bias behaviors that led to a disinterest in their schooling environment. This was especially true if participants felt consistently targeted in particular classrooms. Monique expressed how the behaviors of certain teachers impacted her motivation and how she avoided engaging with teachers who she felt targeted by:
Like, “I don't even want to do her paper because she just irritates me.” It got to the
point where it was like, “I don't even want to ask for help on this assignment
because I just don't feel like hearing her mouth.” So, I would just go, “Okay, she
can't help me. Let me ask another English teacher. [Or] Let me ask another math
teacher who can explain this.”
For other participants, disinterest in school was displayed through retreating from being engaged in extra-curricular activities. The environment of their schools after discipline made participants withdraw and ultimately, look for ways to not have too much relationship with teachers, administrators, or peers. Kiara described her plan to retreat from school after being disciplined in response to an emotional experience she had:
My senior year was terrible because of that. After that, like I told you, I did
everything to not be in school. Then I really did everything to not be in school.
155 And, football season was over. It was just like, “Yeah, I don't want to be here. I'm
dropping my work off, and I'm getting my work and I'm leaving.”
Like other participants shared, Kiara coped with the difficulties she was experiencing from discipline in high school through attempts to remove herself from being in community. She understood that certain mechanisms of high school were important to her future, such as academics, but her best option for preservation was disconnecting from those around her as she lost trust in her high school environments. The need to preserve energy by detaching from their environment was also true for Serenity. Serenity discussed how she preserved her energy for her education by socializing less in order to avoid being policed by others:
I would say I always had a strong connection to my education. I think me and that
getting in the way of me socializing really made me grasp and hold tighter to
education, because it was hard for me to socialize without being accused of
something...So, I would say it made me grasp on tighter, because I was just
staying out the way, and in order to stay out of the way, I'm either studying or
doing something or trying to find something to keep me busy…
As stated by Serenity, “staying out the way” or avoiding conflict and discipline in school led to some participants removing themselves from activities they benefitted from and enjoyed. In addition, some participants disengaged also in learning spaces as a way to not draw attention to themselves to avoid discipline. Overall, the intentionality of participants avoiding discipline indirectly led to participants developing a disinterest in different elements of their high school experience.
156 It is depicted through participant’s high school experiences with discipline, from simple infractions to high levels of severity, that these experiences matter and influence future actions of participants and perceptions of new environments. For my participants, their experience with discipline either indirectly or directly, influenced their collegiate experiences and the ways they choose to navigate spaces, specifically amongst figures of authority. In the following section, findings centered around college and collegiate discipline are shared to show how high school experiences manifest within their new collegiate journeys.
Entering College
As mentioned, participants of the study identified as first-year collegiate students and in addition, interviews took place during their first semester. Specifically, participants completed each phase of interviewing during the first three months of their first semester in college. However, in what may seem as a short period of time, participants displayed similarities in the ways they chose to navigate collegiate experiences and potential discipline. Overall, the decisions participants made in navigating their new environment were reflective of their experiences with disciplinary infractions during high school.
Perceptions of College
When participants described their experiences in college, they began the description with what they imagined college to be and the potential of their experience.
The ideas they generated were overwhelmingly based on advice from others, limited exposure to college settings, and also, high school experiences. This information about
157 their experiences helped provide the foundation of how they made sense of discipline on collegiate level.
College is your only option. When considering the messaging participants received about college, the first message was clear: college was the next step after high school. This messaging was articulated through various mediums such as college preparatory curricula and access to dual enrollment courses. However, in Serenity’s portrait, she provided a distinction between the messaging of attending college depending on the high school environment. Therefore, participants in urban high school settings could experience less encouragement around pursuing higher education. Other participants, however, discussed not fully conceptualizing the idea of attending college in high school even though it was clear expectation pressed upon them. Angel shared how she questioned if the pursuit of college aligned with her interest:
“This is what we do.”... And then once I started applying, I was like “Do I
actually want to go to college?” Because when you think about it, like you're
being told to go to college, so it's just like, “Oh, I'm going to go.” But then once
you get there, you're like, really?
Angel wrestled with idea of being influenced to pursue a degree against identifying what her actual desires were for her future. Monique shared a similar instance of being pushed to pursue college through pre-collegiate program that guaranteed financial support. This was significant to her family but less of Monique’s concern at the time:
158 …the Gifted Minds [program] really was pushing. Because when I was in 6th
grade, I'm not thinking about college. Okay, I guess, whatever that is. My mom
was all excited, “Oh, my god, you got in!” I'm like, “I got in.” Okay.
Participation in such pre-collegiate programs caused Monique to shift her focus in school to preparing to attend college. In addition, all participants shared that the pursuit of college was incentivized for them by the financial support they received. Although, focused on college being a part of their individual futures, some participants acknowledged who had the opportunity to explore options beyond college. Angel, specifically, discussed the liberty of her white female peers to consider more vocational routes instead of college:
There's some people, and it was more of like the white people, that were like,
“Oh, I want to go to cosmetology school.” But that's from people who have
money. And people who didn't were like, “I'm going to go to college and...”
which it costs a lot more money. But you feel like you got to do better and be
better so that you can be successful.
She made sense of this difference by sharing what she found to be a universal understanding amongst the Black community in relation to achievement and “getting ahead” in life. The perception of college directly influencing participants’ futures created more pressure for students to avoid discipline and “succeed”. In addition to reinforcing college as the only potential option for participants after college, certain advice was given about elements of college leading participants to develop various expectations of what they would experience in college.
159 Misinformed expectations of college. Words of wisdom shared from others to participants about the college experience centered mostly on the difference in academic expectations. However, the information shared with participants was counter to what they actually experienced in college. In addition, none of the advice given prepared students for the specifics of collegiate discipline.
Most participants consistently received messaging around the difficulty of college course work and limited help from faculty members in the learning environment. Marissa shared how others described college as an independent and difficult journey:
…it's definitely not like high school. Like the professors won't like be on your
neck about turn in the assignment or like that, more free-time to do whatever you
want, so you have to definitely stay on it… So, you're on your own, you have to
figure things out on your own.
Monique shared similar advice shared with her that encouraged to become more independent and vocal in high school in terms of help-seeking in academics:
…But they would just say that nobody babysits you in college. Your teacher is
not going to tell you, “Oh yeah, you have a paper due tomorrow. Make sure you
get that turned in.” Or, “Nobody's holding your hand. You have to learn how to
study. And if you need help, you have to go get help”… I did not want that to be
my story.
Although there was much conversation about the difficulty of academics, independence in the college environment was also shared. Participants each expressed the initial excitement they had when imagining the freedom of being a college student. In the
160 development of excitement, many participants reflected on comparing the strict nature of high school to the flexibility in all elements of the college experience. Angel shared advice she was given about the freedom in college:
“If you hate high school, you're going to love college.” So, I was like, ‘Oh, it'll be
a better experience’…a positive aspect, just the way that older people were
talking to me about and they were just like, “Oh, college is super-fun, you get to
do what you want. You kind of get to make your own decisions.”
The advice about independence in college caused some frustration for participants while they were still under strict rules in high school. Therefore, participants began to associate college with a “real-world” experience in comparison to high school. When discussing perceptions of college, participants all described the belief that their undergraduate career was essential to their futures. In relation to seeing college as the real world, participants entered their collegiate experiences with distinct academic focus and networking.
Similarly, to their high school experiences, participants understood and valued relationships with others, specifically teachers and administrators, who understood their point of view. However, students’ experiences countered much of the advice they received about what to expect in college.
Experiencing College for Themselves
When considering the advice participants received about college, certain perceptions and expectations they held were challenged or proven wrong during their experience. The transition to their new environment was different than participants expected as they anticipated independence and a more diverse population. In addition,
161 participants shared a similar surprise in their ability to interact and build relationships with faculty although academically focused. Last, participants shared a lack of preparation for collegiate discipline and utilized coping methods that somewhat resembled methods used during high school.
Fresh start. Some participants entered their collegiate journeys with the idea that college would be a new, fresh start. They saw college a new space with new opportunities in which they could shed any drama or concern from high school. Because they viewed this space as new, there was less worry about “getting in trouble” or facing discipline on campus. However, some participants were more hopeful than others about making the transition to their new environment. Marissa shared how her new collegiate environment would be beneficial to her career, “I see it as a new place to connect with more and... Just to network more with people to build my career and new people, new faces, new relationships… New ideas. Just new everything.” Marissa identified college as new space to advance herself professionally but also socially. The aspect of being social was new for Marissa when reflecting back to high school. Although, she longed for social engagement, as mentioned in Marissa’s portrait and shared above, participants were not adequately prepared to identify and address their social needs when entering college.
In contrast, other participants identified the novelty of their college environment difficult to manage and navigate. In terms of adapting to a new environment or developing relationships, being optimistic within the new environment was difficult.
Kiara summarized her thoughts about her new college environment:
162 I guess it's just the mentally as far as keeping positive thoughts and not being
around your normal people, being in your normal setting. So, I think it's overall
different, new. Just new or something, I don't know. I'm getting used to it, I guess.
It's not that bad.
Similar to Marissa in terms of relationship building, Kiara also expressed difficulty in creating new relationships to aid in her transition to her collegiate environment.
Although, participants were not necessarily prepared or given direct advice to prepare for the social discomfort of college and relationship building, their need for connection and relationship displayed their understanding of how important these relationships are in college.
Importance of relationships and reputation. Entering college with a new focus on the future, the importance of relationships and reputation took on a new meaning for participants. Participants sought after having good relationships on campus for a variety of reasons. Initially, when considering opportunities connected to their futures and careers, it was important to build relationship with faculty, staff, and also peers to broaden networks. However, a part of developing and maintaining “good” relationships in college for students was reputation. Marissa described the potential of damaging networks due to behavior:
I guess it does, but not because I'm afraid of getting in trouble. I guess it's because
I'm afraid of being embarrassed and my peers… I would probably be a little bit
more cautious about my actions that I take on this campus, but not for the reason,
like getting in trouble, but different reasons.
163 The connection between relationships and reputation mirrored some of the similar understandings participants shared about the importance of both in high school. The relationships and reputations gained in college would allow for them to seen as “good students.” However, the benefit or outcome of that persona was related to mobility and access to achieving their career goals. Unlike high school, less of these connections were attributed to protection from discipline in college due to distance in creating relationships. Monique described distance in college as she explained her attempts at relationships building:
I feel like college people are more distant. In high school, even though in my
high school nobody really liked each other, but we were more like everybody
knew everybody…I like meeting new people, making new friends and it's just
like, Yeah, I may never see you again on campus.
When considering the difficulty in developing peer relationships, although important, participants were pleasantly surprised at the level of accessibility faculty members displayed in class.
Engaging with faculty. All participants immediately assumed that it would be hard to build relationships with faculty members. This assumption was due to the advice they received from others before entering college “no hand holding.” However, since each participant performed well academically in high school, they were determined to do well in their college courses too. The need to do well forced students to actually seek help from faculty members. To their surprise, they had mostly positive experiences with faculty who were willing to meet with them individually and provide support in the
164 classroom. However, some students attributed this to them being able to display that they were hardworking and not lazy. Angel described her perception of her psychology professor’s acknowledgement of work ethic:
My psych professor…he's quiet, but we've had meetings about my exams, and
stuff, and he's actually been pretty helpful. He could tell that I wanted to work
hard... I don't know if he would do that for every student, because that doesn't
seem like his personality, because he's like “You need to work hard.”
Angel provides an example of how the view of relationships with faculty differed from relationships with teachers in high school and the new ways to be seen as a “good student” centered around work ethic. From these interactions, students then identified
“good” faculty relationships as ones in which they could receive support academically.
Serenity felt she had a relationship with her biology professor even without direct conversation or one-on-one interaction. Serenity described her interactions with her professors that defined their relationship:
…my biology professor, she knows when I make my face. She's like, okay, we're
going to backtrack real quick…oftentimes when I'm asking questions, there's
people around me like yeah or I don't understand that either. It kind of brings the
quietness in the classroom to a stop. I think I kind of play a role in connecting the
class to the professor. I think that's why I feel some kind of relationship.
This was a distinct difference from the relationship building they experienced with their select high school teachers and administrators. There was no longer an interest in getting to know each other personally and more so, transactional interactions. Although
165 participants did not develop deep and personal relationships with faculty, they still believed that the reputation they developed amongst faculty could potentially be beneficial if and when they were disciplined in college. However, no participants in the study referred to faculty support when exploring how they handled instances of discipline on campus or how they would handle hypothetical instances of discipline.
In addition, a limited number of participants had a Black professor during their first semester. For those who did, they found a space of comfort and understanding in the class. It also encouraged them to have interest in what they were learning even if it was a general education course. However, students with Black professors/instructors were still apprehensive about developing relationships with such faculty. Angel shared her excitement with having a Black professor and her apprehension in connecting:
…my other professor, she's Black and I really enjoy that, because I've never had a
Black teacher before… That was really cool, but I haven't really gone and talked
to her, because I don't know. I actually don't know why I haven't gone and talked
to her.
As participants continued maneuvering their collegiate journeys and demystifying the college experience for themselves, pieces of past advice still seemed to cloud their judgment. Although most participants found faculty approachable, there was still apprehension in developing relationship with faculty outside of the realm of academic support. In addition, when reflecting on the presence of faculty relationships, students seemed to be aware of the lack representation amongst faculty during their short time at the university. However, participants seemed to be more impacted by the lack of diversity
166 and representation amongst the student population due to the role this played in their discomfort within the collegiate environment.
“It’s not as diverse as they say”
The consideration of race was present through every part of participants’ collegiate experience. Similar to their high school context, being on campus was very polarizing for participants and this was exacerbated by the majority white population of students. Participants discussed or mentioned race in terms of representation in the classroom, residence halls, and amongst faculty to help develop a context for their new collegiate environment. Although participants knew their institution was predominantly white, the observed student population did not match the institution’s messaging around diversity. Marissa shared her views on diversity at Midwestern University:
I wasn't surprised. I was surprised at the fact they preach it's a diversity, like
diverse university. In my opinion, I don't really think it's that much diverse from
what I've seen. Yeah. I wasn't surprised to see a lot of white students here.
Angel shared similar sentiments with Marissa about the makeup of the current student population. Although both participants attended predominantly white institutions, there was an assumption based on university messaging that student diversity was a priority and present on campus. Angel stated:
I mean, I knew it was a PWI, but I thought I was still going to see more Black
people than what I do but going to a white school in high school it's not super
different. I'm used to not seeing a lot of Black people, but I did think I was going
to see a lot more Black people when I got here, which I don’t.
167 This lack of representation amongst the student manifested into experiences of isolation within various campus spaces. In the classroom, students identified feelings of isolation as they were one of few Black students and this experience was exacerbated when it was a large lecture classroom setting. Serenity shared an overtly racist incident she experienced in her biology class:
some people really just don't like me because I ask questions… so some guys said
somebody need to get her Black ass out of here… He said that because I was
asking a lot of questions, but I wasn't asking questions just for me.
Serenity’s feelings of isolation were only exacerbated as her peers and professor failed to address the male student and his unacceptable comment. This experience challenged
Serenity’s idea of what it means to be in relationship in college as there was no support or allyship for her while she attempted to help others in class through asking questions.
The residence hall was another prominent space for feelings of isolation or othering. Many participants alluded to being the only, or one of few, Black women on their floor. This caused most participants to be slightly defensive, especially if rooming with a stranger. The issue of race manifested in the form of cultural differences when participants experienced difficulties in residence life. Specifically, participants who had white women as roommates experienced the most difficulties in navigating their roommate relationship. The difficulties and lack of understanding led to the current disciplinary issues some participants were facing in college during their first semester.
Participants were immediately categorized by their roommates as threats to their safety based on assumptions of their roommates. When issues we presented to residence hall
168 staff, the response was bias in terms of who was punished, who was sanctioned, and in determining whose story was true. As discussed in Angel’s portrait, she experienced what she perceived as bias treatment with residence life staff at Midwestern University:
she [hall director] was like they said…that you guys are trying to drag them
[residence life staff] down…And [to] say that we were trying to drag them down
from our mistake, and I didn't appreciate it because, I mean, it was two Black girls
against two white people.
With limited amount of time spent in the college environment due to being first- year students, when asked about potential to be disciplined, the thought of race triggered concern. Participants were aware that their institution was predominantly white leaving them to be considered the minority in most spaces. This experience was similar in relation to high school experiences of being singled out, isolated, or targeted in school due their Blackness. Of the five participants, only three had not experienced disciplinary issues in the collegiate environment. When considering the potential of discipline, some participants reflected upon examples of discipline they heard of or witnessed other students experience so far in their college experience. Marissa shared a story she heard of bias treatment of police towards Black students on campus:
…there were parties going on and the police were called and only went to the
Black frat party house and I just thought it was kind of weird because there are
other parties around it, but they weren't Black. They were white, but they just
went to that one.
169 Hearing stories such as this reinforced the influence of race as an element used to understand campus but also in the determination of who is more susceptible to be disciplined on campus. However, Monique, who experienced less severe disciplinary sanctions in high school, was less concerned with the potential for her to experience discipline. Her reasoning related back to the perception of college being more representative of reality in relation to discipline that she found unnecessary and ambiguous in high school. Specifically, Monique answered the why she was not worried about being disciplined in college:
…I don't because it's just, I don't know. High school, they nitpick. College you
just have more room to wiggle. But I mean if you're doing something crazy like
plagiarism. Then I mean, you deserve to kind of get in trouble which I don't plan
on doing anything like that.
From Monique’s perspective, the presence of race was not related to discipline due to her perception of what college discipline includes. However, across participants, there was no clear or realistic understanding of college discipline due to limited information and ambiguity in their experiences with current policies.
Perceptions of College Discipline
In general, there was a misconception around discipline in college, types of discipline and various consequences of discipline. For students, they believed that the consequences were harsher than high school in which they deemed college “the real world.” From their limited knowledge, participants were under the impression that the main consequences of college discipline were arrest and expulsion. In addition, college
170 discipline also had the potential for more practical consequences such as a “tarnishing of image.” Consequences also held more weight in terms of maintaining a positive reputation. Participants viewing college as the real world also believed that it was directly connected to their future trajectories. When thinking of networking amongst faculty, staff, and peers, participants were concerned with making a good impression in order to make sure they were eligible and considered for all opportunities. So, in comparison to high school, reputation was more connected to their futures after college such as careers or graduate school. This consideration of reputation is similar to the ideas, participants formed about reputation in high school. The “good” student persona then allowed them to be involved, supported by most, and also successful in gaining access to college. That same notion is now being applied to moving forward into their careers and lives.
Although participants were first-year college students, each participant entered the collegiate environment with preconceived notions of what college should be developed during their time in high school. When finally entering the college environment, the way participants perceived it varied some from previous expectations. However, in both instances, experiences in high school guided participants navigation of the collegiate terrain, specifically, considering college conduct and ways to avoid trouble in their new environment.
Avoiding the harsher consequences. When using high school discipline as a reference, participants immediately categorized college discipline as harsher in consequence. Unlike high school, some participants recognized the importance of being
171 of legal adult age in college and the potential implications for consequences involving police. Serenity described her concern about being of legal age in relation to discipline:
It seemed here, I think mainly my age and the consequences I could receive for
being 18 and fighting or jail time and stuff like that. I think that kind of life scares
me and kind of reserves me a little bit when it comes to problems.
Viewing college as a microcosm of reality led participants to also use societal moments of Black people exposed to police brutality as examples of what could be their fate on college campus. As shared in her portrait, Marissa shared how the experiences she witnessed in media coverage of unfortunate moments of brutality towards Black bodies influenced her thinking around potential discipline. Social media and news outlets repeatedly discussing instances of injustices were imprinted in the minds of participants.
Therefore, the presence of campus police and safety officers left some participants feeling unsafe and bigger potential targets of unjust disciplinary action.
However, a lack of knowledge around campus disciplinary policies allowed for participants to assume the worst outcomes of disciplinary sanctioning during the university conduct process. In addition, most participants summarized the main outcome of discipline college as dismissal from the university. Again, this assumption was connected to a lack of clear understanding and exposure to university conduct policies.
When asked about the conduct/disciplinary policies on their campus, most participants responded similarly as Marissa said, “If I'm being honest, I'm not familiar with
Midwestern University’s discipline…policy.” When asked if they were familiar with institutional policies of conduct, only participants who had experiences with the conduct
172 process at the university knew some information about policies, the conduct process, and what can be deemed as an offense within the university. Angel shared how during her experience with discipline she had to rely on others to help understand the policies correctly:
My mom’s best friend, my aunt, she was a RA here… [she told me] they weren't
even supposed to take a picture of my friends’ ID and they took a picture of my
friends’ ID. It was stuff like that, that I wouldn't have known if I hadn't talked to
her.
Angel’s experience was a perfect depiction of how college conduct policies are not widely discussed unless a student is receiving an infraction and additionally, still not widely understood. This becomes a deeper issue because participants who experienced this form of discipline were left to advocate for themselves without a sense of context or understanding what policy they actually violated. Similar to their experiences in high school, the issues in which they were being sanctioned were not clearly stated or explained within the collegiate environment. It was as if participants were fighting a battle blindfolded since they had no prior knowledge of the policies in specifics and how they can manifest in different ways.
With limited campus support, students relied on family or trusted staff to help them make sense of the discipline and determine the best next steps. In the end, the discipline was in vain because the foundation was built on biases and one-sided stories without any factual evidence or support. Unfortunately, the experience of almost being disciplined impacted the ways students than chose to navigate their residence halls and
173 interactions with staff or those in authority. A lack of trust developed for those in authority and their judgment of students of color. This supported the assumptions that majority of participants had about entering a predominantly white college space. This also supported their belief that the institution they attended was not as diverse as they portrayed. Therefore, the lack of diversity on campus, the bias experienced through discipline, and the continued challenge of navigating cultural differences with others supported a genuine concern that most participants shared even during high school, “is this happening because of my race?” However, participants shared ways they coped with the difficulty of transitioning and handling or avoiding disciplinary issues on campus.
Coping Mechanisms and Managing Emotions
As participants maneuvered their first semester in college, they defined ways they chose to cope. Overall, related to their sense of isolation in their new environment, many of the coping methods shared by participants aligned with individualism. No participants expressed using campus resources or support staff as a means to cope with the difficult times they experience on campus. In summary, strategies for coping and managing emotions could be categorized as: a) changing attitude to avoid trouble, b) containing emotions, and c) becoming less involved. Some participants were influenced to consider avoiding trouble as an individual responsibility of changing behavior. As college was expected to be a place of independence and less coddling, losing defensive and more confrontational attitudes was expressed as necessary in order for some participants to manage their environments. Kiara shared receiving advice from her uncle about her attitude, “He's just like, ‘You need to change your attitude before you go to
174 school’…‘You can't. We're not letting you. You can't do that. You're blocking your blessings."
As mentioned, participants found ways to channel their emotions inward to cope with what they were experiencing in their environments in more creative outlets such as journaling or listening to music. However, these coping mechanisms supported the idea of isolation and becoming less involved in college. In addition, there was concern about fitting in and belonging to the different organizational spaces. This was vastly different from the high school experiences of participants who were all overly involved in the programming of their high school. Those who were successful in becoming more involved were also the participants who present as more extroverted and outspoken.
Although some participants were more socially driven, their amount of involvement in college was significantly lower than during their experience in high school.
Summary
The purpose of this study was to investigate the influence high school discipline had on the collegiate experiences of first-year Black collegiate women. The findings above expand upon participant narratives by highlighting areas of similarity or contrast through both their high school and collegiate experiences. Overall, from exploring experiences with discipline in high school and current collegiate experiences, participants seem to rely heavily on their disciplinary experiences to inform the way they navigated institutions academically and socially. In addition, this study illuminated a lack in understanding of collegiate policies amongst students, specifically Black collegiate women. Furthermore, most instances of discipline in their current collegiate environment
175 stemmed from racial biases and occurred frequently in residence life. In the next chapter
(Chapter Six), participant portraits (Chapter Four) and the thematic findings from this chapter will be discussed in relation to the literature, along with implications for practice, policy, and research, and ideas for future areas of inquiry.
176 Chapter Six: Discussion, Implications, and Conclusion
The purpose of this dissertation study was to explore first-year, Black collegiate women’s experiences with disciplinary action in high school and its influence on their view of and current experience in higher education through portraiture methodology. This study examined the influence of high school discipline on the collegiate experiences of
Black women and begins to bridge the gap between K-12 and post-secondary education research in relation to Black girls and women to develop further research on the K-20 pipeline. To achieve this, the following research questions were used to guide this study:
1. What stories do first-year, Black collegiate women tell about their experiences
with disciplinary sanctioning and policing in high school?
2. What messages shaped participant’s views and perceptions of higher education?
3. How did experiences with disciplinary sanctioning and policing in high school
influence participants’ views on higher education?
4. How does past disciplinary sanctioning influence Black collegiate women’s
current experiences in college?
In Chapter Four, participant portraits were shared in order to captivate their authentic stories of experiences with discipline in high school in addition to surrounding contextual factors. In addition, their understanding and experience of their current collegiate journey was explored. 177 In Chapter Five emergent themes across participants’ portraits were discussed in further detail. The themes follow their journey from entering high school to transitioning to college. Themes throughout Chapter Five provided more information to answer the research questions by complementing participant portraits and illuminating experiences with discipline in high school, strategies developed to maneuver further discipline, and the usage of these strategies in their new collegiate environment. This chapter provides a researcher reflection after concluding the study, a discussion of findings in relation to existing literature, implications for research, practice, policy and theory, and potential ideas for future research.
Researcher Reflection
When first considering the idea of exploring discipline and its influence on the lived experiences of Black evolving women, I was unaware of how much of an impact this journey would have on my own life. The anger I felt from hearing the narratives of participants and the confusion I shared with them when hearing the disciplinary consequences they faced often had me nervous about undertaking this research. But more importantly, the beauty in the process of their sharing their stories through interviews, finding community amongst one another within a focus group, and the validation of being heard through the development of portraits was well worth it. The transparency in their stories caused me to reflect on my own experiences as a Black woman and question if I would be able to navigate the experiences they shared if I was in their shoes.
Engaging in the work of Black girlhood and honoring the stories trusted to me called for me to step back and place myself in their shoes; however, it is one thing to read
178 about it and another to experience it. And from this experience, my eyes have been further opened to a world of issues and concerns too often ignored in relation to Black evolving women. Even the decision to acknowledge them as such was an opportunity gifted to me through this study. Seeing these students beyond the typical researcher- participant relationship and more as humans in a shared experience was transformational for me. When envisioning research, I used to imagine a transactional experience of give and take between researcher and participants but engaging in this study from an unconventional methodology pushed me to develop relationships with participants of my study. The relationships developed informed the level of intentionality through which I approached portraits, data analysis, and crafting meaningful contributions in this chapter to guide others who may engage this population.
Discussion of Findings in Relation to the Literature
Experiences of Black evolving women shared throughout this study were supported by the existing literature on Black girls and women in education. In addition, this study brought forth more topics of discussion as it relates to how researchers understand this population, their experiences, and the lack of support still not provided to them by educational institutions. In the following section, the conversation continues to explore deeper layers of participants’ stories and the influence of societal messaging to understand the following themes: a) racialized experiences overshadow gender, b) socialized as Black women only, c) collegiate success defined by Black evolving women, and d) understanding collegiate conduct.
179 Racialized Experiences Overshadow Gender
Gender was essential throughout this study as it was used to define the specific population of study, identify important literature and theoretical frameworks to support the study, develop a sampling criterion, and inform critical interpretations of participants’ stories. However, what emerged from the findings was unexpected to me as the researcher. As participants shared details about their experiences in high school, the inclusion of gender was not mentioned. Participants in the study could attribute more of their experiences to being Black rather than women or Black women. Throughout conversations and examples of discipline, race was brought into the story to help me as a researcher develop context of the situation. Although participants were not prompted with questions explicitly about race, this subtle inclusion of race signaled to me that behind participant’s words was the belief that racism had more to do with their sanctioning than their gender identity.
This could be a result of the racially polarized environments participants experienced in both high school and college. However, the literature discusses issues of discipline with Black girls in school to stem from a place that compares their existence and ways of knowing to traditional white heteronormative ideals of femininity (E. Morris,
2007). Examples provided by participants aligned with almost textbook examples of white authority figures’ attempts to socialize Black girls into the white norm of being meek and mild instead of boisterous and independent (E. Morris, 2007; Neal-Jackson,
2018). When met with more non-traditional norms of how a girl “should” act in school, teachers then viewed students as disruptive or threatening and disciplined them in order
180 to re-establish authority (E. Morris, 2007; M. Morris, 2013). For example, Angel’s experience with engaging in class verbally and being punished for speaking out of turn depicts how Black girls’ ways of knowing and learning in education can be misinterpreted as disrespect or class disruption. Serenity shared a similar experience when she tried to defend herself and engage her teacher in dialogue about the discipline she was receiving. Each example shows how dialogue, for some Black girls, is a tool used to not only engage in their environments, but also navigate issues of concern.
However, from lack of understanding, teachers responded to student’s dialogue with punishment.
Participants’ lack of acknowledgement towards the role that gender plays in their experience is an issue lacking from current research and illuminated in this study. As described by Jones and Abes (2013) when discussing elements of the Model of Multiple
Dimensions of Identity (MMDI), participants’ experience with gender was weaved into existence through other salient identities such as race. When reflecting on the idea of being Black and women, it can be assumed that participants are brought up to acknowledge both identities together. This is reflective of the idea “braiding of gender” and how gender is weaved so much into other identities that it is difficult for others to see, critique, and investigate each identity singularly (Jones & Abes, 2013, p. 73). This is not to say that individuals do not find their gender identity important but more so attached to a more salient identity.
In addition, Jones and Abes (2013) mention how contextual factors influence how individuals think of their gender identity in relation to other salient identities. For
181 example, Kiara’s experience with discipline in relation to her emotional outburst with her high school boyfriend was one of few times she mentioned her identity as a “girl.”
However, the mentioning of her gender was in relation to how others perceived her as
“the crazy girl” after her outburst in school. In other examples, Kiara spoke more broadly as being seen as a “Black student” when discussing her experiences with discipline.
Lastly, when expressing the importance of representation amongst high school teachers and college faculty, participants also focused more on the race of the teacher or professor rather than race and gender combined. Therefore, the perception of their own race and gender seemed to inform the way they identified others in the space based on contextual factors such as polarizing racial environments.
However, these common examples of the differential treatment Black girls experience can also be described as gendered racism. Potentially Black girls and women may perceive gender as “braided” or entangled amongst other salient identities such as race but the societal perception of these identities, specifically race and gender, create a unique form of oppression that Black girls and women experience. From gendered racism emerges the continuous use of negative tropes to describe and stereotype Black girls and women such as the Jezebel, Sapphire, Mammy, and so forth. Participants in this study provided examples of gendered racism when they described being policed in educational environments. From being silenced in class to being told they could not wear certain clothes that other white students could wear freely, Black girls bodies and presence were considered abnormal when compared to white female students and Black males.
182 Participants’ choice to be defined as Black evolving women also further supports the notion that gender identity is important to how they see themselves even though it is not always discussed separately. Although it is an individualized experience, the process of defining the space between girl and woman led to conflict and consequence for participants as they navigated educational spaces. Their ways of knowing as Black evolving women were not honored or recognized in these spaces and deemed deviant. To survive, participants identified ways of coping that allowed to them to continue navigating their educational environments and perceptions others held of them.
Therefore, participants of this study personified the Super Girl frame defined by Nunn
(2018) due to their need to protect and defend themselves and others while carrying multiple marginalized identities. Participants’ experiences as Super Girl seemed to foreshadow their potential future of falling into the Strong Black Woman (SBW) trope as they became more socialized in high school to defend themselves, notice the needs of others, while also giving to the community through labor similarly argued by Harris-
Perry (2011). Overall, participants’ stories displayed society’s ability to force Black girls, evolving women, and women into detrimental tropes and center their experiences around the issue of racism rather than gendered racism.
Socialized as Black Women Only
Eluded to in the previous section, societal messages for Black women are typically placed upon Black girls as well. This is evident in Morris’s (2007) study when teachers were asked to describe characteristics of the Black girls in their classroom. It was unanimous that Black girls were described as independent, mature, and in need of
183 less help in the classroom (E. Morris, 2007). Related to past litertature, Monique shared a similar experience of not receiving help in class after requesting support from her teacher as form of discipline. In addition, we need to revisit other contextual factors that aid in
Black girls’ socialization by society to see themselves as women. No matter the type of high school, each participant confessed to being overly involved in high school in the area of extra-curricular activity and service towards their high school communities. The celebration of this level of involvement at an early age mimics the societal tropes held for
Black women such as the Strong Black Woman (SBW). As described by Zora Neale
Hurston (1937), participants of this study were being conditioned to be the “mules” of their high schools through their involvement.
In relation to the SBW (Harris-Perry, 2011) or Super Girl (Nunn, 2018) trope, being “the mule of the world” for participants meant laboring for their high schools outside of the educational requirements for the benefits of others. The nature of the labor was exploitative as participants were asked to support more of the schools’ needs without concern of how this labor was impacting their educational outcomes and susceptibility to discipline. This experience with adultification led to participants finding themselves in the gray area between girl and woman. They knew they were no longer girls due to life experiences, but they were not comfortable with the idea of being identified as full adult women. However, this thought contradicts the messaging Black girls are exposed to in school and sometimes home environments. Theories such as emerging adulthood (Arnett,
2000) or self-authorship (Baxter Magolda, 2001) would be beneficial in understanding this point in their development through putting words to this sensitive time, but both lack
184 focus on minoritized populations and contextual factors that create barriers during this developmental phase (Hope, Hoggard, & Thomas, 2015). Therefore, Black evolving women from the study were left to make sense of their womanhood on their own as they do not have access to an idea such as emerging adulthood within society. Black evolving women need a theory of their own that centers their experiences and the ways they make sense of being an evolving woman.
In addition, the implications of Black girls and women being viewed as the cause of their own demise but the saviors of their own stories, fuels the dangerous societal tropes ascribed to Black girls and women such as SBW and Black girl magic. Black girl magic as a trope specifically allows for all societal institutions to fly below the radar as threats while celebrating the unnamed labor or “magic” of their success (Ladson-Billings,
2017). This is not sustainable for the health of Black women as the research increases on the physical and mental health disparities experienced linked to issues such as gendered- racial battle fatigue. Reports of increased anxiety, depression, and other mental health concerns (Commodore, Baker, & Arroyo, 2018; Crenshaw, Ocen, & Nanda, 2015; Hope,
Hoggard, & Thomas, 2015; Winkle-Wagner, 2015) can be attributed to pressure and stress related to the need to continuously perform.
Collegiate Success Defined by Black Evolving Women
The idea of what a “good” student was or is was a continuous thread throughout the stories of each participant as they transitioned from high school to college. To them, being a good student meant performing well academically while also engaging in their high school communities. In a way, the “good” student was assumed to be the exception
185 because of the reputation of succeeding. However, the schema of the good student did not match the experiences participants had with discipline. The amount of dissonance between the persona of being “good” and receiving a disciplinary infraction for participants brought about confusion and a lack of clarity of what could have caused their discipline. Yet and still, the assumption remains that reputation and the development of reputation will be beneficial to the success of participants as they navigate new environments.
When participants spoke of reputation in college, it was more reserved as a weapon to help them get ahead for their future in addition to avoiding trouble. Therefore, the “good” student identity evolved when participants entered their collegiate environment. With this in mind, participants maintained the reputation they maintained of being quiet and reserved, social and engaged, and academically responsible and hard- working. However, their status as college students emphasized the importance of reputation based on who they knew and not what they knew that would move them ahead into their futures (Shavers & Moore, 2014). This frame of thinking made sense when considering that participants were conditioned to think of college as the “real world” and the key to their futures. Another part of the upbringing in high school was the idea of college being the only option.
All participants shared an understanding of college as being the next steps in their future due to the messaging portrayed through their high schools. This similar experience also illuminated the shared advice given to participants about their upcoming college experience. However, the advice given to participants about college did not align with
186 traditional factors that garner collegiate student success. When discussed, the context of college was described to participants as challenging courses, faculty who were inaccessible, and an expectation for students to become completely independent.
Although some of these aspects could be true during college, participants were not then adequately prepared for their transition to college from the high school environments, specifically in terms of considering defined collegiate success and disciplinary infractions. In terms of “successful transition” including aspects such as developing faculty relationships and social engagement on campus, participants were not socialized in high school to see those elements as necessary for success in college (Tinto, 1993). In terms of involvement, participants were encouraged to view that as a steppingstone to gain entry to college, rather than something to continue to pursue once they arrived in college (Astin, 1999). Therefore, the benefit of involvement was also not seen as necessary for successful transitioning to the collegiate environment and was more so described as a means of access to college.
Although effective for some, most participants decided from a place of rebellion that called for disengaging from the learning environment and those within it. With a new association between learning environments and discipline, this coping behavior was used in their new collegiate environments. However, these behaviors directed students away from what we espouse in higher education as successful traits of transitioning to college: building faculty relationships, becoming involved on campus, and building peer relationships (Tinto, 1993). Therefore, what needs to be considered in the development of defining student success outcomes are contextual factors that may prevent students from
187 operating in “true” success (Museus, 2014). To further complicate the issue, the Black evolving women of the study were still succeeding academically although somewhat suffering socially. Therefore, there needs to be a reexamination of what truly equates to collegiate success and how to support students holistically including social engagement
(Museus, 2014).
Understanding Collegiate Conduct
Although the study focused on memories of discipline from high school, there are still necessary changes that need to occur on the collegiate level. Specifically, in relation to collegiate conduct and disciplinary policies, better mechanisms for understanding college discipline and transparency of the conduct process are needed. The experiences participants described with discipline on college campuses and the lack of knowledge they could define about the conduct policies shows a clear disconnect between student understandings and implications. In addition, participants provided clear examples of how biased conduct policies are when left up to interpretation of staff or even campus police (Shuck, 2017). Several examples of bias in collegiate conduct were shared across participant experiences. Marissa shared learning about how campus police targeted a majority Black party while white students were left unbothered. In addition, Angel and
Serenity both shared instances in residence life where staff displayed bias towards their sides of the story while supporting the white students who accused them of an offense.
It is the institution’s responsibility to be proactive in teaching incoming students the culture and rules of the institution in ways that are accessible to them (Shuck, 2017).
In addition, it is also the responsibility of the institution to ensure that employees
188 understand the true purpose of the conduct policies and address issues of implicit bias when involving students (Janosik & Stimpson, 2017) . However, through my own research, the influence of conduct on Black students and Black collegiate women is not a priority within institutions of higher education. When searching for publicly available data on conduct issues within the site of the study, there were no records available outside of the institution’s Clery Act report and no response from their conduct office in the release of demographic information of students reported in conduct cases. What is more troubling is the variation in the conduct processing amongst different entities within the institution. In the case of my study, residence life had a huge influence on participants being involved with disciplinary cases which was an unexpected finding that emerged from participant interviews (Fosnacht, Gonyea, & Graham, 2020).
When locating readily available information online about the expectations of living within a housing facility, I had to use the search function to locate the document that encompassed all rules and regulations of the housing facilities. In addition, the conduct policies could be handled in house or in conjunction with their conduct office, leaving more room for ambiguity with interpretations of policies between the two offices
(Dannells, 1997). Last, participants’ disciplinary experiences within residence life illustrated bias treatment as I found policies within the community standards that their white roommates had not followed but were not disciplined for at all. The lack of readily available data on conduct issues across the institution and within specific units of the institution allow for the institution to no be held responsible in maintaining and ensuring equitable practices in disciplining all students and charging them with infractions.
189 Implications
The experiences shared by Black evolving women of this study pointed to a larger issue around institutional responsibility for the care of Black girls and women.
Educational institutions across the P-20 pipeline need to be held responsible for the lack of care and concern they bestow upon Black girls and women. This study is one example of how the lack of care has prolonged consequences for those who are left invisible and ignored while receiving education. As discussed in the literature, the lack of care for
Black girls and women can stem from the new model minority myth placed upon Black women. The myth that they are superhuman, successful, and less worthy of warranted research attention. Beyond research, this mentality trickles over into the practice in which the needs of Black girls and women are misunderstood and ill-treated. The ill-treatment is painted through the countless stories shared of the harm Black girls and women face and the blind-eye turned towards their experiences.
When reflecting on the lack of responsibility attributed to institutions of higher education, Black girls and women are left with taking ownership of issues and struggles that they did not cause. This place the population in the position to fight battles and ultimately, survive the setbacks placed before them by educational institutions. However, their ability to succeed in these unfair instances call forward researchers who identify the population as “resilient” or “persistent” and nullifying the fact that the circumstances they are under should have never been present in the first place. Aligned with the intent of this study, I have provided implications for research, policy, and practice in both secondary
190 education and collegiate settings while also providing implications for student transitioning from secondary to higher education.
Implications for Research
Pursuing this study has highlighted many areas of growth in terms of the research conducted for, with, and about Black girls and collegiate women in education. Overall, when considering the population of Black collegiate women, researchers need to be intentional about naming their participants. From this study, I have witnessed how easy it is to perpetuate the adultification of Black traditional-aged college women by assuming they necessarily identify as adult women. The participants of this study highly identified with the gray area between girl and woman. However, I would have never known this if I did not ask students how they perceived themselves in terms of gender identity. The need to represent the true identities of participants called for me to employ the use of frameworks that could possibly illuminate this area of adolescence for Black evolving women through Black girlhood and Black Feminist Thought. Therefore, when conducting research on undergraduate Black evolving women, researchers need to be intentional about gaining clarity on how participants identify along the spectrum of gender to avoid assumptions, the perpetuation of societal tropes, and the adultification of their participants lives and experiences. This can be done by simply including study participants in the decision of how they will be identified within a study through seeking their suggestions in demographic survey instruments or interviews.
In addition, researchers who attempt to study Black girls and women (along all points of evolution) in education need to be intentional in employing non-traditional
191 methodologies that align better with the ways of knowing of this population. As this is a population that is understudied and underrepresented in higher education literature, researchers should consider unconventional methodologies that help paint pictures and humanize Black girls and women. Traditional qualitative methodologies, such as phenomenology, case study, or grounded theory, have the potential to stifle and suppress the stories of Black girls and women due to the methods utilized to evoke stories and the intentional outcomes of these methodologies (an essence, a case, or a process). The purpose of these type of methodologies do not always illuminate participant’ stories. For example, the use of portraiture as a methodology allowed me to not only present the stories of participants, but also paint them into existence amongst the findings to highlight their human nature and needs. This is directly counter to the current myths held of Black girls and women that cause for them to go unseen in research. So besides, highlighting stories and understanding experiences, when doing research on Black girls and women, it is the responsibility of the researcher to visibly present their participants as humans to a field that has treated them as invisible for so long.
In addition, researchers need to intentionally choose methodologies that allow for
Black girls and women to be seen for their successes and “goodness,” while also holding societal institutions responsible for the contextual factors that influence the lives of this population. Much of the literature that currently exists around experiences of Black girls and women has negative portrayals of their lives and experiences leaving audiences to view the population from a deficit perspective (Patton, 2020). In addition to a deficit lens, most literature on Black girls and women is written from an individualistic perspective
192 removing responsibility away from institutions. Intentionally choosing methodologies or frameworks that center finding the “goodness” or positivity in the lived experiences of
Black women while also being critical of institutions is beyond important in moving research forward as it relates to the stories of Black girls and women. Last, it is important for researchers to find methodologies and methods that allow for appreciation of the unique experiences of Black girls and women. As it currently stands, with limited research on this population, studies tend to lump individuals of this population together as one monolithic group. Identifying methodologies that center individual stories while connecting stories across themes is imperative moving forward.
Implications for Practice in Secondary Education
Based on the experiences of participants, there is much work to be done in relation to the practice of working with Black girls in high school. First, teachers, staff, and administrators need to be aware of the level of involvement of Black girls in school.
Participants of this study all experienced being overly involved which led to feelings of stress, distraction from school, and sometimes, discipline in school. However, the amount of service provided by and expected from Black girls continuously exploits their labor for the benefit of the school.
The lack of clear communication between students, teachers, and administrators in the level of severity and intention of discipline needs to be addressed. Teachers should clearly communicate to students why they are being disciplined and what conduct policy they have violated. In turn, administrators and teachers should have a shared expectation
193 and response to disciplinary infractions to cause less confusion for students and portray a united front in discipline versus undermining the authority of one another.
More training is needed for teachers, staff, and administrators in the areas of classroom management styles that are culturally appropriate and responsive to the needs of students. This includes addressing implicit and explicit biases of teachers towards children of color and specifically, Black girls and their ways of knowing. A part of the training could consist of proper facilitation of dialogue between teachers and students to deescalate moments of conflict or heighten emotions. In addition, more restorative disciplinary options need to be enacted in high school settings. The current punitive measures not only impact students emotionally and trigger unfavorable responses, some also call for more time of the classroom diminishing students learning capacity. An array of restorative practices may also allow for administrators that specialize in mental and emotional health of student to address issues in student’s lives that may cause adverse emotional reactions.
Last, teachers should attempt to engage all students and develop genuine relationships with their students. Participants of the study had fewer disciplinary issues with teachers who developed relationships with them and got to know them. This act of developing student relationships invites students to open up and also, allow teachers to see students as humans. This understanding of the student may allow for teachers to also have a better understanding of the context the student comes from that influences their experiences in school.
194 Policy for Secondary Education
The utility of disciplinary policies in high school should be revisited based on the adverse experiences and lasting repercussions and impressions these policies leave on students, particularly Black girls. First, what is defined as an infraction and overarching disciplinary policies need to be reviewed through a critical lens at the district level to identify ways in each policy oppresses and targets children of color. This review should also address the level of ambiguity that leaves room for bias treatment towards children of color through the use of said policies. Specifically, for Black girls, it would be important to review aspects of policy that utilize traditional, societal, white norms such as femininity to establish rules, policies, and a means for discipline towards this population.
In addition, clarity needs to be provided and shared about the use of policy in context and what is deemed as an appropriate use of policies when necessary. With no shared understanding or clarification on policy students are left to suffer the consequences of someone’s opinion rather than actual rules of conduct established by a school or school district. Last, there needs to be clear repercussions for authority figures that misuse disciplinary policies to target children of color. Without a clear system of checks and balances for the use of disciplinary policies across a district and within schools, children of color will always be at risk of being overrepresented in the population of those disciplined.
Practice for Higher Education
Institutions of higher education need to enhance their practices in order to fit the needs of Black collegiate women, acknowledge their presence, and remove barriers that
195 further isolate and stigmatize them during their journey. First, some participants expressed concern with being targeted and misunderstood in their residence life environments due to cultural differences. There needs to be more done to prepare and equip students to maintain healthy and safe living environments for all. This is especially the responsibility of the institution if they uphold a live-on campus requirements for all students. This could potentially be an in-depth training for incoming students to learn to discuss difference or address issues of concern beyond an online training module.
Students need to understand their response to discomfort has real implications and to humanize those in which they find themselves in difference with to encourage communication.
In addition, institutions need to provide better mechanisms in communicating expectations and conduct policies to all students. When reviewing the conduct policies for the research site, the document felt convoluted and riddled with jargon that was beyond the reach of incoming students. Also, the number of of policies across the institution and specific to units makes it even more challenging for students to clearly understand. Institutions should be proactive in communicating their expectations to students, the ways discipline shows up in college, and the various repercussions of disciplinary infractions based on type of discipline and specific units on campus. Students cannot abide by rules and policies within an institution if they are not aware that the policies exist and if the policies are unclear.
Last, more public data about around issues of discipline and conduct should be made public in order to hold institutions accountable. As of now, the research site, like
196 many other institutions, have gatekeepers of such data and create barriers to gain access.
However, if no one is reflecting on the demographics of students who are represented more in college discipline, there can be underlying issues of bias that are not readily seen by the campus community.
Limitations
After concluding this study, there were several limitations to note. First,
Midwestern University as a predominantly white institution could only provide a particular context in relation to collegiate experiences that may have been different from students at other institutional types such as historically Black colleges and universities or
Hispanic serving institutions. Second, the interview protocols utilized to gain participants’ stories did not include any questions specific to gender or elicit conversations around their experiences explicitly as Black girls in high school. Therefore, this could have contributed to participants more immediate racialized focus in terms of discipline. As a researcher with previous knowledge of how gendered racism is experienced by Black girls in educational spaces, I entered with an assumption that participants were aware of this experience as well and would naturally discuss instances of gendered racism in their responses. However, what this study has shown me is the importance of researchers asking clear and specific questions about gendered and racial experiences. Focusing research and interview protocol questions will allow for researchers to begin acknowledging Black women’s intersectional experiences of injustice in their own words versus theoretical interpretations. Last, asking participants to reflect on their experiences in high school, although first-year college students, still
197 displayed the difficulty participants may have with sharing completely accurate memories of their experiences or all instances in which participants experienced discipline. In this study, participants were more likely to share the most memorable instances of discipline versus a totality of their disciplinary experiences.
Future Research
Engagement in this research has left much room for expanding the current knowledge and research centering the experiences of Black girls and women. From participant’ experiences, it was concluded that they collectively experienced difficulties in developing relationships with peers on campus. However, context of relationship for
Black collegiate women seems to be a topic less explored in the literature. Findings from this research may also address issues of college success and transition models in the realm of social engagement and involvement for Black women.
As discussed, participants in the study made little to no mention of their gender in relation to the issues they were experiencing with discipline in both high school and college. This leaves me to wonder about how Black college women begin to explore, define, and experience their gender. Is this piece of their identity always so tightly intertwined with their racial identities? What contextual factors influence the development of a racialized gender identity for Black women? More research is needed in order to understand how Black collegiate make sense of their gender/ racialized gendered identities.
This study provides more examples of the adultification experienced by Black girls and women within educational institutions through the enforcing of disciplinary
198 infractions. The socialization of Black girls to see themselves as adult women before they accept this title for themselves is unfair and leads to actualized consequences for the life trajectories of Black girls. When talking with participants, they identified with a gray space that has yet to be defined and explored for Black evolving women in higher education literature. Similar to the idea of emerging adulthood, what is the experience of
Black evolving women and their process of development into adult Black women? What are the implications of the discrepancies in the perceptions Black evolving women hold of themselves versus society’s view?
Participants in the study who did experience disciplinary issues in college all reported having issues within the housing/residence life unit of their institution. A central theme to these experiences also consisted of unaddressed cultural difference, racism, and bias in terms of addressing and resolving conflict. More research should be conducted to understand the experiences of Black collegiate women in residence life. Most institutions have housing/ residence life units and some also have requirements that making utilizing these facilities as mandatory. Although higher education literature indicates higher levels of student success when involved in residence life, this is not the case for all students and participating in housing or residence life could potentially be more detrimental and harmful to their experience and collegiate success. Therefore, more knowledge is needed to understand the needs of Black collegiate women in relation to utilizing housing facilities when attending predominantly white institutions.
All participants of this study shared the experience of not fully knowing the conduct policies of their institution. If they were privy to any policies, it was due to
199 witnessing others receive infractions or their own personal experiences with the disciplinary conduct process at their institution. Therefore, I was left to ponder, how are collegiate conduct policies communicated to students and overall, what is the effectiveness in this messaging for the consumption of students? I believe that institutions are currently operating under the assumption that students subconsciously know the difference between “right and wrong” as they navigate their new environment. However, the ambiguity and specific nuances of the various conduct policies and categories may be far more advanced than those they may have experienced in high school. Therefore, to proactive and responsible institutions should be clear and upfront about issues of conduct and student expectations. More research is needed to verify that this is happening to a degree that is understandable for all students to inform their choices and decisions.
When reflecting on their experiences with discipline, most participants took issue with the level of severity of their disciplinary sanctions when compared to the action that led to their discipline. In addition, participants and research mainly focuses on mostly punitive measures for discipline in primary and secondary education. Although more research is beginning to expand our understanding of some harmful outcomes of punitive disciplinary sanctions, more research is needed to analyze the importance and utility of restorative discipline practices.
Although participants had difficulties in certain areas of their lives, the all seemed to succeed academically. However, there is still a lack of research to understand Black collegiate women’s relationships to success in higher education. Research can be expanded by first examining the ways in which Black women define academic success.
200 From this understanding it is also important to then understand more about what exactly contributes to the success of Black collegiate women. By understanding more about how
Black women define success and what they utilize to be successful, institutions can provide more of those resources to fit the needs of Black women and actively support their success.
Seeing Black Evolving Women
The purpose of this study was to explore first-year, Black collegiate women’s experiences with disciplinary action in high school and its influence on their view of and current experience in higher education. Although this was achieved, so much more emerged from this study and of those things the need to understand the experiences of
Black girls, evolving women, and women in education shined through. So much of society implicitly and explicitly presses the message of denying Black girls and women of value to the point where the girls and women begin to believe it themselves:
“At first, I was like maybe my little incident wouldn’t matter…” – Monique (the
social butterfly)
“I didn’t think like my little things would matter…” – Kiara (the rebellious spirit)
“I just feel like there needs to be representation for people who feel like their
stories don’t matter.” – Angel (the quiet storm)
“I didn’t [think] like my things… didn’t matter.” – Marissa Watkins (the shy soul)
but when I thought about it more, I knew.
These statements are from four Black evolving collegiate women. Their initial true thoughts about their experiences expressed. And the questions I would ask these
201 evolving women would be, in what other areas do you feel this way about your existence? What environments or situations affirm this negative train of thought? But also, what opportunities allow for you to challenge this passed-down notion? That “aha moment” of knowing your existence matters. The realization that you are not alone and that there is nothing inherently wrong with you. The response of society to your being is not your fault or responsibility to carry. You can exist just as you are and challenge your environment to bend versus the expectation of self-sacrifice.
I believe that moment was experienced in this study and not from my own doing and expertise, but from my willingness to listen and acknowledge these evolving women as experts of their own experiences. That is the power of research and through this document, I invite readers to do the same. See these Black evolving women as experts of their lives; full of hope, full of knowledge. Individuals who have experienced deep pain, even at a young age, but also great triumph and success. See them, hear them, know them, and allow their stories to be just that, their stories
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218 Appendix A. Letter to Nominators
Letter to Departments
Subject: Seeking Participants for Study about First-Year Black College Women
Hello:
My name is Tiffany Steele, and I am a doctoral candidate in the Higher Education and Student Affairs (HESA) program at The Ohio State University. I am writing to you to see if you could assist me in recruiting potential participants for my dissertation research. This is for an Ohio State research study that has been determined exempt from IRB review.
My study seeks to understand first-year Black college women’s past experiences with disciplinary action and policing in high school. Specifically, I am looking to explore how these experiences with discipline and policing influence their thoughts and current experiences in college. What is required of students is participation in two one-on-one interviews, each lasting approximately 60-90 minutes, as well as a focus group activity and interview lasting approximately 90 minutes.
To assist me in recruitment, potential participants must meet the following criteria:
1. Participants who self-identify as Black women. 2. Participants who have experienced disciplinary action and/or policing during their secondary education. 3. Participants who are classified as first-year, traditional aged college students (18- 19 years of age). 4. Participants who are enrolled as students of a large, midwestern university.
219 Students who are selected to participate will be provided a $10 Amazon gift cards per interview for a maximum of three interviews.
Please forward them the email listed below this message, as well as the recruitment flyer attached. Important: please be sure that you take every possible step to protect students’ identities (e.g., email students individually or BCC them on the email so they cannot be directly identified). Any writing/presentations that result from this study will mask the students’ identities, as well as any identifying information specific to the college or university.
If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me. I have also listed the contact information of my advisor, Dr. Marc Guerrero. Thank you in advance for your assistance with my research. I truly appreciate your help.
Tiffany Steele Dr. Marc Guerrero Doctoral Candidate Associate Professor Higher Education & Student Affairs Higher Education & Student Affairs [email protected] [email protected] 313-212-1345
220 Appendix B. Letter to Potential Participants
Subject: Information about a study about First-Year Black College Women that You Might Be Interested In
Hello:
My name is Tiffany Steele, and I am a doctoral candidate in the Higher Education and Student Affairs (HESA) program at The Ohio State University. I am writing to you to see if you could assist me in a research study that I am currently conducting. This is for an Ohio State research study that has been determined exempt from IRB review. My study seeks to understand first-year Black college women’s past experiences with disciplinary action and policing in high school. Specifically, I am looking to explore how these experiences with discipline and policing influence their thoughts and current experiences in college.
All that is required of you would be participation in two one-on-one interviews, each lasting approximately 60-90 minutes, and a focus group activity and interview lasting 90 minutes. It is my hope that this research influences how colleges and universities support and acknowledge the lived experiences of Black collegiate women. Students who choose to participate be provided a $10 Amazon gift cards per interview for a maximum of three interviews.
Please note that in order to participate in this study, you must fit the following criteria:
1. You must self-identify as Black women. 2. You must have experienced disciplinary action and/or policing during their secondary education. 3. You must be classified as first-year, traditional aged college students (18-19 years of age). 4. You must be enrolled as students of a large, midwestern university.
If you are interested in participating, please fill out a secure demographic form that will be accessed through Qualtrics. This process will allow me to obtain a diverse sample for 221 this research. The link to this secure form is here: [https://osu.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_9z7r5wnrWMpCDo9]
Should you choose to take part in this project, you have the option to stop your participation at any time. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to contact me. I have also listed the contact information of my advisor, Dr. Marc Guerrero. Thank you in advance for your assistance with my research. I truly appreciate your help.
Tiffany Steele Dr. Marc Guerrero Doctoral Candidate Associate Professor Higher Education & Student Affairs Higher Education & Student Affairs [email protected] [email protected] 313-212-1345
222 Appendix C. Social Media Recruitment Post
Facebook Post **Invitation to Participate in a Research Study about First-Year Black College Women**
**Help me spread the word (by reposting and sending information to students) to help identify participants for a study on the ways that high school discipline and policing influence their thoughts about and current experiences in college.**
Call for Participants:
You are invited to participate in a research study about the ways that high school discipline and policing influence their thoughts about and current experiences in college.
In order to participate: 1. You must self-identify as Black women. 2. You must have experienced disciplinary action and/or policing during their secondary education. 3. You must be classified as first-year, traditional aged college students (18-19 years of age). 4. You must be enrolled as students of a large, midwestern university.
If you meet the above participation criteria, please complete the Interest and Demographic Form: (https://osu.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_9z7r5wnrWMpCDo9). What is required of students is participation in two one-on-one interviews, each lasting approximately 60-90 minutes, and a focus group activity and interview lasting 90 minutes. Students who choose to participate be provided a $10 Amazon gift cards per interview for a maximum of three interviews
If you have any questions, I can be reached by email ([email protected]). Thanks for considering being a part of this study!
[INSERT RECRUITMENT FLYER HERE]
Instagram Post
[INSERT RECRUITMENT INSTAGRAM POST HERE] 223
Seeking participants for a study on understand first-year Black college women’s past experiences with disciplinary action and policing in high school. Please #repost on your accounts and share with students who attend Midwestern University you believe may be interested. Information about the study can be located in the Interest and Demographic form found here: [https://osu.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_9z7r5wnrWMpCDo9]. Questions? Contact Tiffany Steele at [email protected]. #highered #blackcollegewomen
Twitter Post
Seeking participants for a study on understand first-year Black college women’s past experiences with disciplinary action and policing in high school. Please repost on your accounts and share with students who attend Midwestern University you believe may be interested. Information about the study can be located in the Interest and Demographic form here: [https://osu.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_9z7r5wnrWMpCDo9]. Questions? Contact Tiffany Steele at [email protected]. #highered #blackcollegewomen
[INSERT RECRUITMENT FLYER]
224 Appendix D. Participant Demographic Survey
Please take some time to fill out this form. As much information that you can provide about yourself will be helpful. Questions relating to identities (Gender, Race, Ethnicity) are left open ended so that you may self-identify. If you do not feel comfortable answering any of these questions, you may abstain, but they will be helpful in obtaining as diverse a sample as possible. For the purposes of this study, disciplinary action and policing is defined as punitive techniques such as “unpleasant verbal reprimands, ‘‘the evil eye,’’ proximity control (i.e., standing near the student), and taking away privileges (e.g., recess) to much harsher forms such as suspension, expulsion, and corporal punishment” (Bear, 2010, p.3).
Full Name: College/university you attend: Possible pseudonym (A fake name/alias): Primary email address: Pronouns (she, he, they, zie, etc.): Age: Gender identity: Race: Ethnicity: Year in school: First year Second year Third year Fourth year Fifth year Other: Program of study (Major): Name of High School you attended: City of High School: Have you experienced disciplinary action or policing in high school? : Yes No What form of discipline/policing from authority figures have you experienced in high school (check all that apply) : 225 embarrassment in front of peers ignored from participation in class unpleasant verbal reprimands intimidation calling parents/guardians sent to principal’s office detention loss of student privileges suspension in-school suspension expulsion corporal punishment
What is your general availability for a 60-90 minute interview during Monday through Friday? For interviews, would you prefer to connect via a video conferencing service or in person in a place near Midwestern University? Anything else you would like to share at this time?
226 Appendix E. Individual Interview Protocols
Initial Interview Protocol
Explain that we will be discussing first-year, Black collegiate women’s experience with high school disciplinary sanctioning and their collegiate journey. Discuss my positionality and what led me to this research. Try to orient participant in thinking about their experiences with high school disciplinary action/policing.
In terms of this study, disciplinary action and policing are defined as punitive techniques such as “unpleasant verbal reprimands, ‘‘the evil eye,’’ proximity control (i.e., standing near the student), and taking away privileges (e.g., recess) to much harsher forms such as suspension, expulsion, and corporal punishment” (Bear, 2010, p.3).
Say: A reminder that you can skip any question or stop the interview altogether if you would like. If you choose to do so, then all the data you have provided will not be utilized in the study. If you have any more questions, please consult the consent form.
1. Introduction: To get us started, please state your chosen pseudonym, age, and a fun fact about yourself. Reflection about High School 2. As you know, this initial interview pertains to your high school experience. To begin, could you describe your high school environment and experience? a. What type of high school did you attend? b. What was your level of involvement during high school? c. How would you describe your academic performance? d. What messages did you receive about college in high school? 3. Continuing reflection on high school, could you describe your high school persona? a. How would your friends describe you? b. How would your teachers describe you? Remembering Discipline 4. How often have experiences with discipline or policing in high school (detention, in-school, suspension, exclusion)? a. When did these experiences occur?
227 5. Tell me about a specific time where you experienced discipline or policing in high school. a. What were the circumstances that led to this experience? b. Why do you think this occurred? 6. Are there other times you want to share? Outcome of Discipline 7. How were you treated by others (parents, teachers, school officials, etc.) before and after your experience with sanctioning? a. If you experienced a change, what was your response to this treatment?
8. In what ways, if any, did this experience with discipline influence your attitude towards education? a. If they share ways: What do you think contributed to this shift? 9. In what ways, if any, did this experience with discipline influence your attitude towards higher education? a. If they share ways: Why do you think this shift in attitude occurred? b. If they do not share ways: Why do you think this shift in attitude did not occur? Disciplinary Factors 10. Were there other places you experienced discipline? a. If yes: What were they? i. Did this vary from the discipline you experienced at school? 11. What factors do you believe contributed to you experiences with discipline? Barriers of Discipline 12. What barriers did your experiences with discipline create for you, if any? a. If yes: Why? i. What did these barriers keep you from? Potential Positive Areas 13. What support did you receive during your experience with discipline? a. If yes: from who did you receive support? i. Why was this support helpful? 14. After reflecting on this experience, do you wish that things would have happened differently? a. If yes: Why? b. If no: Why not? Final Reflection 15. What advice, if any, would you give your high school self?
228
Follow-Up Interview Protocol
Explain that in this interview, I want to talk more about how your high school experiences with discipline we discussed in the previous interview connect to your current experiences in higher education.
Say: A reminder that you can skip any question or stop the interview altogether if you would like. If you choose to do so, then all the data you have provided will not be utilized in the study. If you have any more questions, please consult the consent form.
Participants View of their College Persona 1. Currently, how would you describe your experience thus far as a college student? a. Are you involved on campus or interested in becoming involved? b. How would your professors describe you? c. How would other students describe you? d. Does any of this differ much from high school? Participants’ View of Midwestern University 2. Please describe your initial impression of Midwestern University. 3. Why did you decide to attend Midwestern University? Midwestern University Environment 4. How would you describe the Midwestern University environment? a. Has the institution been easy for you to navigate as a student? b. What are your impressions of faculty members at Midwestern University? c. What are your impressions of staff members? d. What are your impressions of other students? Discipline/ Conduct at Midwestern University 5. Are the Midwestern University policies similar to any disciplinary policies you experienced in high school? a. If yes: In what ways? b. If no: How do they differ? Do Encounters with Discipline Continue in College 6. Are there any worries you have about potentially being sanctioned for disciplinary reasons in college? a. If yes: Why? b. If not: Why not? 7. If you received a disciplinary sanction in college, how would you feel? a. How would handle the situation? b. Would you reach out to anyone for support? i. If yes: Who and why? 8. How would your response to discipline now be similar or differ to your response in high school? 229
Connecting High School Discipline with College Experience 9. In what ways, if any, do your past experiences with discipline inform your current experiences as a college student?
230 Appendix F. Focus Group Timeline and Interview Protocol
Focus Group Timeline & Interview Protocol
Explain that we will be discussing how the experiences of high school disciplinary sanctioning in their initial interviews will be discussed more in-depth through the use of photo elicitation. Discuss my reasoning for using photo elicitation and what led me to this method of data collection. Try to orient participant in thinking about the internal emotions they connected with high school disciplinary sanctioning through their photo representation.
Say: A reminder that you can skip any question or stop focus group participation altogether if you would like. If you choose to do so, then all the data you have provided will not be utilized in the study. If you have any more questions, please consult the consent form. All photos shared in the group will be uploaded to the researcher’s computer which is password-protected. For purposes of participant protection and developing a safe space, I ask that all information discussed and shared within this focus group meeting to not leave this room.
Focus of Time Period Length of Time Review of Informed Consent and Questions 5 minutes Group Introduction and Icebreaker 5minutes Overview of the Purpose of Study 1 minutes Brief review of focus group assignment and the purpose of 5 minutes photo elicitation Participants randomly selected to determine order of sharing 2 minutes photo with the group Each participant is given 4-5 minutes to describe their photo 20 - 25 minutes and what it represents to them Transition to focus group interview 5-7 minutes Focus Group Interview 40 minutes
Total Time of Focus Group 90 minutes
231 Focus Group Interview Protocol
1. Please share your overall reactions to this activity. 2. What similarities or differences did you notice in the photos shared today with the group? a. Did anything surprise you? Why? 3. After seeing each participant’s photo, do you still believe your object represents the feelings you hold about your experience with disciplinary sanctioning? a. If no: what would you change about this object? i. Would you pick a different object? Why? 4. In what ways have you experienced these feelings in your college experience? 5. Based on the feelings you associate with your object, what advice would you give your younger self about discipline in high school?
232 Appendix G. Photo Elicitation Prompt
Focus Group Photo Elicitation
Focus group photo elicitation prompt: Take a photo of an object that represents the focal memory of discipline you shared in your initial individual interview. Feel free to be creative in picking the object that best represents what you remember feeling from this disciplinary experience. This object can be a picture, detention slip, drawing, poem, etc. or any other thing that helps represent how you felt. Once selected, please email your photo to Tiffany Steele ([email protected]) in preparation for the focus group discussion. In this discussion, you will share your photo and what representation you connect to this object. After each participant shares their object, you will participate in a brief focus group interview.
233 Appendix H. Informed Consent
The Ohio State University Consent to Participate in Research
Study Title: Disciplinary Disruption: Exploring the Connection Between High School Sanctioning and Black Women’s Collegiate Experiences in Higher Education
Researcher: Dr. Marc J. Guerrero Tiffany Steele
Sponsor: None
This is a consent form for research participation. It contains important information about this study and what to expect if you decide to participate.
Your participation is voluntary. Participants will receive a $10 amazon gift card per interview for a maximum of three interviews.
Please consider the information carefully. Feel free to ask questions before making your decision whether or not to participate. If you decide to participate, you will be asked to agree to this form online by checking the “Yes” option below and clicking next to proceed to the survey. Please retain a copy of this consent form for your records if you wish.
Purpose: This research study seeks to better understand if there is a connection between high school disciplinary sanctioning and college experiences of Black women. Dr. Marc J. Guerrero, along with Tiffany Steele in the Higher Education and Student Affairs (HESA) program will facilitate this project. Specifically, researchers will work to achieve this by exploring first-year, Black collegiate women’s experiences with disciplinary sanctioning in high school and its influence on their view of and current experience in higher education.
Procedures/ Tasks: Data collection per participant will occur in three steps: semi- structured initial individual interview and a follow-up interview to allow participants to elaborate and to make sure that the researcher interprets their responses accurately. In addition, participants will be asked to participate in a focus group discussion guided by 234 photo elicitation. Participation in focus group discussion will call for maintaining the utmost privacy in regards to those involved in the focus group and the content of the discussion.
Duration: The semi-structured interviews will last approximately 60 minutes – 90 minutes, twice within the semester. The focus group activity and discussion will last approximately 90 minutes, once within the semester. The research project will occur during the Fall 2019 semester.
You may leave the study at any time. If you decide to stop participating in the study, there will be no penalty to you, and you will not lose any benefits to which you are otherwise entitled. You will not directly benefit from participation in this study. Your decision will not affect your future relationship with Midwestern University.
Risks and Benefits: There is minimal risk involved in this study. During the research, participants may process through difficult experiences they have had in relation to high school disciplinary sanctioning and their current collegiate experience. In the event that this occurs, the investigators will have resources from the university’s counseling center on hand.
Future Research: Your de-identified information may be used or shared with other researchers without your additional informed consent.
Confidentiality: Efforts will be made to keep your study-related information confidential. While we ask other group participants to keep the discussion in the group confidential, we cannot guarantee this. Please keep this in mind when choosing what to share in the group setting. However, there may be circumstances where this information must be released. For example, personal information regarding your participation in this study may be disclosed if required by state law. Also, your records may be reviewed by the following groups (as applicable to the research):
• Office for Human Research Protections or federal, state, or international regulatory agencies; • The Ohio State University Institutional Review Board or Office of Responsible Research Practices; • The sponsor, if any, or agency supporting the study.
Participant Rights: You may refuse to participate in this study without penalty or loss of benefits to which you are otherwise entitled. If you are a student or employee at Ohio State, your decision will not affect your grades or employment status.
In this study, you may skip any questions that you do not wish to answer without penalty or loss of benefits. 235
If you choose to participate in the study, you may discontinue participation at any time without penalty or loss of benefits. By signing this form, you do not give up any personal legal rights you may have as a participant in this study.
This study has been determined Exempt from IRB Review.
Contacts and Questions: For questions, concerns, or complaints about the study, or you feel you have been harmed as a result of study participation, you may contact the P.I. Dr. Marc Guerrero at [email protected] or the Office of Responsible Research Practices at 1-800-678-6251.
For questions about your rights as a participant in this study or to discuss other study- related concerns or complaints with someone who is not part of the research team, you may contact Ms. Sandra Meadows in the Office of Responsible Research Practices at 1- 800-678-6251.
Signing the consent form
I have read (or someone has read to me) this form and I am aware that I am being asked to participate in this survey that is part of research study. I have had the opportunity to ask questions and have had them answered to my satisfaction. I voluntarily agree to participate in this interview and focus group.
Do you consent to participate in this survey? Yes No
Signature:
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Appendix I. Email to Selected Participants
Hello,
I hope this message finds you well. First, I would like to thank you for expressing interest in participating in my dissertation study entitled: Disciplinary Disruption: Exploring the Connection between High School Sanctioning and Black Women’s Collegiate Experiences in Higher Education. I am contacting you to schedule your first interview starting October 28th. Your first individual interview should be no more than 60 minutes so, please budget about an hour for this interview. Please use the following link to schedule your 60-minute interview during the month of October through the beginning of November. If these times do not work for your schedule, please let me know so we can find a more appropriate time: https://calendly.com/tiffanysteele92/60min
Thank you again for your time and consideration. If you have any questions or concerns, please let me know. I look forward to meeting you soon.
Best,
Tiffany
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