What Makes Sex So Special?

6. Jahrgang MBS Te x t e 132 2009

Thomas K. Johnson What Makes Sex So Special?

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Hope forHope Europe for Europe TableInhaltsverzeichnis of Contents

The Question: What’s So Different about Sex?...... 3 The Answer: What Is So Different about Sex!...... 5 Annotation...... 10 The Author...... 11 Impressum...... 12

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He who troubles his own house will inherit the wind. Institut für Lebens- und Proverbs 11,29 Familienwissenschaften

1. Aufl. 2009 What Makes Sex So Special?

What Makes Sex So Special?1 Thomas K. Johnson

The Question: What’s So Different about Sex?

“Thou shalt not commit adultery.” add, “Didn’t modern contraception Exodus 20:14 set us free from all this crazy nonsense about keeping sex within marriage?” “Why shouldn’t sex be treated like A third voice might say, “If you think any other activity? Why should we your God wants to keep sex inside mar- consider it moral to play tennis with riage, it shows that your God is not very somebody we don’t love but immoral to nice or has a bad sense of humor. Does have sex with somebody we don’t love? your God just want to take all the fun Why should we consider it moral to eat out of life?” lunch with somebody of the same sex Questions of this type are extremely but immoral to have sex with that same important to many people, and impor- person? Why should we be permitted to tant questions deserve honest, thought- go to a movie purely for pleasure but ful answers. As a Christian I believe not have sex purely for pleasure? What’s that our truly BIG questions are so different about sex that it requires answered by the Bible. This means that such special rules?”2 in regard to understanding our sexual- To be fair to Olen and Barry, edi- ity, we should look for answers that are tors of the book in which this declara- informed by the Bible. However, before tion occurs, we must notice that they jumping to answers, it may be wise to are attempting to articulate the ideas ask a counter-question – really a ques- embodied in the so-called Sexual Rev- tion about the questions. This counter- olution of the late twentieth century. question should be as follows: They may not fully agree with these Observers of modern secularism ideas, but they have nicely summa- point out that, because of secular- rized some very common opinions and ization, people are often left with a questions of our time. People are ask- reductively naturalistic interpretation ing, “Why should we think traditional and experience of life. The “naturalis- sexual ethics are anything but arbitrary, tic” part of this refers to thinking and irrational taboos?” Someone else will talking as if all that really exists is that

Ho p e f o r Eu r o p e 3 Thomas K. Johnson which is natural, material, or physi- I am not the only person who thinks cal. The “reductive” part of this phrase Goldman put the wrong title on his refers to the way in which a naturalistic essay. If sex is what he thought it is, worldview tends to be “reductive” or to a better title might be “Empty Sex” reduce our understanding of our own or “Sub-Human Sex.” Because Gold- life experience. If all that exists is what man is a naturalist, his understanding is natural or physical, the only experi- and experience of life are dramatically ences one expects to have will be physi- reduced. He has a reductive under- cal experiences. The Sexual Revolution standing of sexuality, meaning his was closely tied to the development understanding and experience of sex of secularism.3 The Sexual Revolution is reduced to much less than sex was proclaimed sexual freedom; however, meant to be. His philosophy would wasn’t the real result quite different – a support what many call sexual free- reduction of sex to an empty, shallow dom, but the cost of this freedom is physical experience? The best support astonishingly high: the loss of every- for this counter-question or critique thing human about sex. I find this of the Sexual Revolution comes from price far too high. Might there really reading the writers and philosophers be something so different about sex that who were supporters of secularism and it requires special rules? the Sexual Revolution. The secularist loss of an understand- One of the most articulate philosoph- ing of sexuality is also evident in the ical supporters of the Sexual Revolution writings of Jean Paul Sartre.5 He wres- was Alan H. Goldman, especially his tled with how to create meaning in a article “Plain Sex.”4 Goldman point- meaningless world. According to Sar- edly rejects any “means-end” analysis tre, if God does not exist, there can be of sex; that is, he rejects any under- no “essence” of human life that comes standing of sex that connects sexual before the “existence” of particular activity to another purpose, whether people. This means there is no proper “reproduction, the expression of love, pattern or scheme of life that people simple communication or interpersonal should follow or that gives meaning to awareness.” To understand sex properly, life; we are forced to choose freely how he claims, it must be “plain sex” – with- we want to live. In the realm of sexual- out other associations. Sexual desire is ity, this means it is impossible to say nothing more than desire for contact that monogamy is better than polyg- with another person’s body. Goldman amy, polyandry, or constantly chang- thinks false views of sexual moral- ing relationships. We are condemned to ity arise from the silly idea that sex is freedom. However, this does not close properly something more than physical the topic. In his novel Nausea, he shows contact, whether love, communication, that people use love and sex as a way of or whatever. searching for meaning in life, though

4 MBS Te x t e 132 What Makes Sex So Special? this effort is not always successful. For ture people. Their foolishness and Sartre knows that love and sex can eas- immaturity were supported by a culture ily become meaningless, manipulative, that says sex should be treated like any or boring if meaning is not brought other activity, not much different from into the relationship. having lunch with someone. Their lives The terminology of Sartre is entirely embodied a message we hear all around, different from that of Goldman, reflect- in schools, in books, and in the media. ing different philosophical traditions. Might we be ready to receive some wis- However, their overall perspectives are dom from the past and from on high? remarkably similar regarding sexuality. Is there no better way? They agree that sexuality has no neces- sary meaning or distinctive content that would lead to particular moral rules The Answer: What Is So governing sexual relationships. They Different about Sex! also agree that there is no fixed pattern for responsible sexual activity, whether The Bible gives profound answers heterosexual monogamy, homosexual- to the question of what is so different ity, polygamy, or continuous fluctua- about sex that it requires special moral tion. In this way, they would both sup- rules. I would explain those answers in port the Sexual Revolution and reject these terms: Sex can best be described any traditional Christian perspective as an “interpersonal sacrament” which on sexuality. I am left wondering if the should properly occur within mar- quest for sexual freedom has cost us a riage, a “creation order”, because there large part of our humanness. is a close correspondence between the Recently I was moved to tears by a meaning of the interpersonal sacra- “reality show” on a German television ment and the creation order. The bibli- station. Young unmarried couples with cal commandments about sexuality are children were offered paternity tests to not arbitrary rules from a fun-hating see if the mother’s current partner was deity; they are designed to protect our the biological father of the woman’s humanness. This perspective leads to a child or children. A young mother was much richer understanding and experi- “sure” her current partner was the father, ence of the closest human relationships. though she acknowledged it could pos- This is a very substantial alternative to sibly be either of two men, given the the reductive naturalism that says that week of conception. On live television, sex is only about physical contact. This the couple received the report from a alternative says that there is a created genetics laboratory that her current pattern or “essence” of human life, and partner was not the biological father. following this pattern is one of the steps The tears they shed were not just the that gives us meaning in everyday life. result of the foolish choices of imma-

Ho p e f o r Eu r o p e 5 Thomas K. Johnson

How is having sex with someone dif- “The man said, ‘This is now bone ferent from having lunch with that per- of my bones And flesh of my flesh; She son? Briefly stated in other words, sex shall be called “woman,” For she was requires special rules because God cre- taken out of man.’ ated us in such a way that marriage and “For this reason a man will leave sex fit together in a particular way. This his father and mother and be united is what we see in the pages of the Bible to his wife, and they will become one and in everyday experience. A crucial flesh. biblical text is Genesis 2:15–25. “The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.”6 “The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it We are told in this text describing and take care of it. And the Lord God the origins of the human race that a commanded the man, ’You are free to man will “be united to his wife,” or eat from any tree in the garden; but you as our older translations read, “a man must not eat from the tree of the know- will cleave to his wife.” The Hebrew ledge of good and evil, for when you eat word translated “cleave,” “dabaq,” is a of it you will surely die.’ very interesting way of describing the “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good sexual embrace, for it brings together for the man to be alone. I will make a two meanings of the same word. On helper suitable for him.’ the one hand, this word means to cling “Now the Lord God had formed physically to something. This word is out of the ground all the beasts of the used when a person’s tongue clings to field and all the birds of the air. He the roof of his or her mouth (Psalm brought them to the man to see what 137:6) or when a man’s hand clings to he would name them; and whatever his sword in battle (2 Samuel 23:10). the man called each living creature, On the other hand, this word is used that was its name. So the man gave to describe tight bonds of loyalty and names to all the livestock, the birds of affection. During a time of intense the air and all the beasts of the field. uncertainty and fear, King David’s “But for Adam no suitable helper army was described as clinging to him was found. So the Lord God caused (2 Samuel 20:2). Clearly, this word is the man to fall into a deep sleep; and describing deep, heartfelt commitments while he was sleeping, he took one of of loyalty and affection that endured the man’s ribs and closed up the place through good and bad times. with flesh. Then the Lord God made a In Genesis 2, it is not immediately woman from the rib he had taken out obvious if this word refers to Adam and of the man, and he brought her to the Eve physically clinging to each other man. or emotionally bonding to each other. Nevertheless, this is not a question

6 MBS Te x t e 132 What Makes Sex So Special? that needs a simple either/or answer, bolic manner. Because of the way we especially if, as I think, we are read- were created, sex is one of our strongest ing sacramental language. In relation forms of nonverbal communication; sex to God, we should understand a sacra- is a promise of affection and loyalty, not ment to be a symbolic action instituted only to each other but also to the chil- by God that serves as a sign and seal dren who may result from the relation- of the covenant of grace between God ship. The physical union is a sign of a and His people. A sacrament confirms more comprehensive union, including both His grace to us and our faithful spiritual, emotional, and social aspects loyalty to Him. Sacramental language of life. This is what makes sex so differ- has a distinctive feature; because of the ent from casually having lunch or cof- close association between the symbolic fee with someone. Sex communicates action and the meaning of the symbol, promises of a very significant nature, the names of the action and the mean- whether or not the couple is aware of it. ing of the action are freely mixed and It is foolish to try to separate sex from transferred. In the Old Testament, the the process of bonding inside a mar- term “circumcision” could refer either riage or from the children who may be to the symbolic action or to the cove- conceived through that bonding. nant relation symbolized by this action. If sex is a sacrament of marriage, Something similar happens in the New obviously one must ask, “What is mar- Testament regarding Holy Commu- riage?” Is it merely a worthless docu- nion and Baptism. (Standard biblical ment from a useless government office? examples are Genesis 17:10; Matthew Our answer to this question today can 26:28; and Titus 3:5.)7 easily be prejudiced by our tendency When Adam and Eve were clinging to to think that only physical objects can each other, this was not a sign and seal truly be real. Since marriage is not a of their relationship with God. How- physical object that one can touch, ever, on a human, interpersonal level, some tend to think it is not real or a it was a sacramental action signing and real thing. Without thinking, a person sealing a covenantal bond. Their “cling- may be comparing marriage to some- ing” to each other was both the sexual thing like a coffee cup, a window, or embrace and the bonded relationship a streetlight. This is a serious mistake symbolized and confirmed by the sexual that influences how we act. Moreover, embrace. In this sense, Protestants have unfortunately, our English translation historically called sexual intercourse a of the commandment “you shall not “holy sacrament” of the covenant of commit adultery” does not immedi- marriage.8 Stated differently, more psy- ately correct this mistake. However, chologically, sexual intercourse com- the Dutch (niet echtbreken) and Ger- municates much of the marriage cov- man (nicht ehebrechen) translations enant and vow in a nonverbal and sym- are a little better, since both of these

Ho p e f o r Eu r o p e 7 Thomas K. Johnson

Bible translations refer to not breaking a man and a woman solemnly covenant a marriage. This way of talking has a to become life partners. Those who significant advantage, since it says more think marriage is just a piece of paper clearly that a marriage is something real have confused one part of the public that can be broken, though obviously declaration of the marriage (the legal the way in which a marriage can be part) with the covenantal reality that is broken is quite different from how one being publicly declared. In the original breaks a cup or a window. creation, the only thing that was not So what is marriage, this thing we good was that Adam was alone. God must be careful not to break? One of the corrected this deficiency by creating best descriptions is a “creation order.” Eve and by creating marriage. Marriage This means it is a relational structure is a creation order with a lifetime cov- given by God in creating us that serves enant as its internal content; sex is an our good as well as God’s various pur- interpersonal sacrament that confirms poses. This way of describing marriage and communicates this covenant in a invites a comparison with other God- nonverbal way. given structures we call creation orders, Though it may be hard for us to think such important realities as work, gov- this way, marriage truly is something ernment, and worship, through which real, even though it is not a physical God organizes our lives. It also means object. In addition, it has some endur- that marriage is not exactly something ing characteristics that we cannot that we create; it is something that change; it is monogamous, heterosex- already exists, with some defined rules ual, exclusive, and it lasts a lifetime. and boundaries, before we ever enter These characteristics are given by cre- into it. By our foolishness and sin we ation, with the result that many people can break a particular marriage, but and cultures find these enduring char- marriage will continue to be a common acteristics to be “natural;” the biblical part of human societies because it is a descriptions of marriage and sexuality normal and normative part of God’s confirm and clarify these characteris- creation order. tics given in creation. Marriage can be The term “creation order” tends to compared to the law of gravity, which lead us to view marriage somewhat is also very real, though we cannot see from the outside, as a social structure. it directly. However, the likelihood of We should also emphasize that mar- people getting hurt by ignoring the riage is a lifetime covenant between a reality of marriage is greater than the man and a woman, and this covenant is likelihood of getting hurt by trying to publicly declared so everyone can know ignore the law of gravity. Most of us that a particular man and a particular just accept the law of gravity, whereas woman stand in this lifetime covenant.9 some try to ignore the reality of mar- This is the internal content of marriage: riage.

8 MBS Te x t e 132 What Makes Sex So Special?

Once we grasp something of the normally shared with other people. close connection between sex and mar- Nevertheless, in most of these plea- riage, it makes sense to ask about the sures, the people with whom we share purposes of sex and marriage together. the pleasure are all together relating This really should be one question, to something else, the sport, music, rather than separating the purpose of or film, which gives them the shared sex from the purpose of marriage. Of experience. Our attention, emotionally course, many people think of the pur- and mentally, is focused on the sport, pose of sex as being pleasure, emotional music, or whatever brings us together. release, or bonding, while they see the However, sex is different in the impor- purpose of marriage as primarily in the tant sense that it is the other person who realm of financial/legal questions. This gives pleasure, not some other entity or separates matters that more properly event. Our attention is totally focused belong together. on the other person. Sex is much more One of the first purposes of marriage clearly an interpersonal event or experi- is companionship. Adam, Eve, and ence than are our other normal forms most of the rest of us find it is simply of pleasure. The pleasure, sometimes not good to spend our lives alone. Most intense, could be seen as a gift of God of us need a life partner. Our work, specially added to the companionship, our toys, and our pets are simply not a distinct type of pleasure that helps enough. Companionship is the primary confirm and strengthen the covenantal thing we should both seek and seek to ties between a husband and wife. preserve in marriage.10 Closely tied to In the wisdom of God, the context this is one of the purposes of sex, that in which children should normally of total-person bonding. We read that come into the world is this context Adam and Eve were naked but not of bonded, loyal companionship and ashamed. Their comfortable physical love. The companionship that men and intimacy contributed to a very wide- women need forms the right situation ranging unity of their lives. for children to get a start in life. We People today are quite aware that sex should not hesitate to say that child- can be very pleasurable. What needs to bearing/child raising is one of the pur- be added to that is an understanding poses of marriage and sex. This is not that the pleasure of sex is different from to say that a childless marriage is not a other types of pleasure. Some pleasures proper marriage. And this is also not to can be enjoyed almost as much alone say that sex always has to be intended as with other people. This is obviously to lead to pregnancy or even to be open very different from normal sex. Other to pregnancy. Nevertheless, it is very pleasurable activities, whether a sport- unwise for us to separate sex, marriage, ing event, a concert, or a movie, are and childbearing. There are natural

Ho p e f o r Eu r o p e 9 Thomas K. Johnson connections among marriage, sex, and experiences that help bond a man and childbearing in the biblical descriptions woman into lifetime partners, and the of people and in our lives today. habits they are developing will make it As I write these words, I am riding more difficult for them to experience on a train from Berlin, Germany, to such satisfying bonding in the future. Prague, Czech Republic. Three or four Very likely, they do not appreciate the rows behind me is a group of young way the prostitutes reduce them to German men who have been into their something as exchangeable and dispos- beer since mid-morning. If I under- able as a piece of bread; nor that hiring stand their drunken songs and slurred a prostitute is dehumanizing in a way speech correctly, they are headed to that it is not dehumanizing to hire a Prague to enjoy the strip show discos taxi driver or a dentist. and “sex professionals.” While listen- The ancient words written in stone, ing to them, I have been reminded of “You shall not commit adultury,” do the wry comment in Proverbs 6:26, not call us to a joyless, boring exis- “The prostitute reduces you to a loaf of tence. By giving us a firm “No” and bread.” Very likely, these men will have some unchanging rules, God calls us some interesting sexual experiences to a richer, higher, more human type this weekend. But they probably have of life. Why can’t we acknowledge that not thought much about what they are sex is different from other activities – missing or how they are being treated different in a way that requires special (or the probability that the prostitutes rules? are being held as slaves by highly orga- nized criminals). They are missing the

AnnotationAnmerkungen

1 Much of the content of this essay was originally 3 This interpretation of secularism is dependent published in a series of articles on the Ten Com- on Thomas C. Oden, Two Worlds: Notes on the mandments written for the World Reformed Death of Modernity in America & Russia (Inter- Fellowship (www.WRFnet.org) under the title varsity Press, 1992).

“Written in Stone” in 2002 and 2003. This con- 4 tent is reused with gratitude. Contained in Olen and Barry, pp. 86–97. 5 2 Jeffrey Olen and Vincent Barry,Applying Ethics: This interpretation of Jean Paul Sartre is depen- Existentialism: The A Text with Readings, fourth edition, (Wads- dent on C. Stephen Evans, Philosophy of Despair & the Quest for Hope worth Publishing Company, 1992), p. 72. (Zon- dervan Publishing House, 1984.)

10 MBS Te x t e 132 What Makes Sex So Special?

6 Quotation from the New International Ver- 10 We must be careful not to think that marriage sion. (or sex) will provide total meaning or salvation,

7 thereby solving all our problems. As an atheist, See also Westminster Confession of Faith, Sartre recognized that sex and marriage do not chapter 27, for the way this theme was taught in provide meaning; meaning must be consciously historic Reformation theology. brought to the relationship. Christians should 8 Herman Bavinck, The Philosophy of Revelation say even more clearly than did Sartre that sex (Longmans, Green, and Co., 1909; Baker Book and marriage do not provide meaning; they have House, 1979), p. 276. meaning if received as a way in which we can glo- rify and enjoy God in gratitude. 9 A covenant is both similar to and different from a contract. A contract is usually very specific, well-defined, and limited in scope, such as a contract to rent an apartment or do a particular job. In contrast, a covenant may not be so well- defined, since we simply cannot know what may come our way in a lifetime. On the other hand, a covenant is also unlimited, since it involves one’s total life, not something as limited as commit- ting to a job or apartment.

TheÜber den Author Autor

Thomas K. Johnson received his Ph.D. in ethics from the University of Iowa (1987) after being a research scholar at Eberhard Karls Universität (Tübingen). He has an ACPE from Missouri Baptist Hospital (St. Louis, 1981), a Master of Divinity (Magna Cum Laude) from Covenant Theologi- cal Seminary (St. Louis, 1981), and a BA (Cum Laude) from Hope College (Michigan, 1977). He is a pastor of the Presbyterian Church in Ame- rica and planted Hope Evangelical Church (PCA) in Iowa. Johnson was adjunct professor of philosophy at Kirkwood College 1991–1994; visiting professor at the European Humanities University in Minsk, Belarus, 1994–1996. (UHU is a dissident, anti-Communist university, forced into exile by the Belarusian dictator in 2004.) Since 1996 he and his wife have lived in Prague, Czech Republic, where he taught philosophy at Anglo-American University (4 years) and at Charles University (8½ years). He is MBS Professor of Apologetics and Ethics (2003) and Vice President for Research (2007). His wife, Leslie P. Johnson, is director of the Christian International School of Prague.

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