Friday,THE March REAL STUFF 31, 2000 Technique • Friday, March 31, 2000 • A1

Complete Student Baseball team rides three game TECHNIQUE Government Association winning streak into Raleigh “The South’s Liveliest College Newspaper” election results. against NC State. ONLINE http://cyberbuzz.gatech.edu/technique REAL NEWS page 2 REAL SPORTS page 4 Serving Georgia Tech since 1911 • Volume 85, Issue 26a • 4 pages This is the real stuff, so believe what’s in these four pages. You can take your chances on the rest.

SGA Run-off Election High turnout marks elections The Undergraduate Presidential By Matt Gray tion process, since no one candi- today, with the voting ending at Assistant News Editor date for President received 50% of 5pm, and results available on the Run-off between Matt Mason and the vote, only the top two candi- SGA website at 6pm. Both candi- The results of last week’s SGA dates proceed to the run-off, which dates hope that the turnout for the J.R. Spriggle ends today at 5 p.m. elections have been announced, with does not include Stopp. run-off will exceed that of the gen- a run-off for UHR President be- “I had a great time during the eral election. Vote online at elections.gatech.edu. tween J.R. Spriggle and Matt Ma- campaign period,” said Stopp. “I’m “Win or lose, I hope that we son to take place. While the obviously pretty disappointed that have an even higher turnout this announcement has not been made I lost, but I truly hope that no mat- time around,” said Spriggle. as to who won the GSS Presidency, ter who wins, SGA will do a lot for All three of the original candi- Young entrepreneur donates $15 David Moeller was elected as UHR the student body in the next year. I dates hope to work together after Vice President, with over 3000 stu- especially enjoyed running the Stopp the election. “Dave Stopp and J.R. million to College of Computing dents voting. and Go taxi service. It allowed me are both extremely qualified candi- Dale Russell will serve as Presi- to meet so many people and get dates,” said Mason. “I only hope By Jennifer Dykes said Elizabeth Campbell, Tech dent of the senior class, Scotty Crowe such a wide variety of campus per- that all three of us will continue to News Editor spokeswoman. for the junior class, Tiffany Massey spectives.” work for students regardless of who The plans call for a $50 million for the sophomore class, and Alissa Since leaving the race, Stopp has gets elected.” Twenty-six year old Christopher dollar building and design will start Aiken for the freshman class. given his endorsement to Mason. “I The winners of other races were Klaus donated 15 million dollars to later this year, with construction “30% voter turnout is the high- have spoken with both Matt and eager to start. “I am extremely ex- Tech to help build an advanced com- beginning in next year. est of any major university in the J.R., and although I feel I could cited about being elected junior class puting complex to be named after Klaus does not meet the profile country, and I think it speaks to the work well with either candidate, it President and continuing my time him. The donation, the fifth-larg- of the typical donor, who is usually desire of the student body to take a is my opinion that I would best be in the Undergraduate House of Rep- est in Tech history, is pending ap- a man over 65 and thinking about a more active role in the issues that able to accomplish my goals for Tech resentatives,” said Crowe. “I have proval by the Board of Regents. legacy to leave behind. affect students all over campus,” said within the framework of Matt’s lead- several ideas for the upcoming year, Klaus made money in his start- While Klaus did not receive his Kevin Stogner, Chairman of the ership,” said Stopp. “It is for this many of which pertain to SGA con- up company Internet Security Sys- degree while at Tech, he is a free Elections Committee. reason that I am supporting Matt tinuing to bond closer to every stu- tems, ISS. It is now worth $5.1 part-time instructor for the College In the race for President, Mason Mason’s bid for the presidency.” dent on campus and truly billion. of Computing. received 36% of the vote, Spriggle Moeller won his for Vice Presi- representing its constituents.” The company sells software aimed “I’ve always been a big believer earned 35%, and David Stopp re- dent, defeating Johnny Jones. “I The Elections Committee was at protecting networks from intrud- in education as a driver in helping ceived 29%. am very excited about the prospect happy with the way the vote was ers. The company works for 21 of the economy and helping society as “I’ve learned during the cam- of serving the student body in the handled this year. “The elections the 25 largest US commercial banks, a whole,” Klaus said. paign that Tech students really care,” capacity of student government Vice were very successful; the entire Elec- several large telecommunications Other top donations in Tech his- said Mason. “As much as we com- President,” said Moeller. “I feel that tions Committee is to be commended companies, and dozens of govern- tory include over $25 million from plain about things like parking, when a large portion of campus is con- for the countless hours they spent ment agencies, including the Pen- Lettie Pate Evens and similar it comes down to it, students vote cerned about my platforms, prima- rewriting the Elections Code to make tagon. amounts from George W. and Irene because they care about Tech’s fu- rily restoring a voice to the students, it more clear and concise, building He left Tech before receiving his K. Woodruff, and Mrs. Lee Can- ture.” and I see the voting as reflective of relationships with OIT, and inter- degree in the mid 1990’s to focus dler. Candler’s donation to the Ath- Said Spriggle, “I used to think this. I also want to make sure I ad- acting with candidates as needed to on the company, which he started letic Association came in the past that by being in SGA I knew a lot of dress the issues Johnny ran on, mainly make sure that everyone had their in his dorm room. year. These gifts were mostly from students on campus, but by cam- recruitment of non-engineering ma- respective questions answered,” said The donation is “the largest sin- their estates, according to Camp- paigning, I’ve met so many new jors.” Stogner. gle outright gift while living that bell. Thomas Dupree, Jr. has also people.” The run-off for President is the Georgia Tech has ever received,” pledged over $25 million. Through the rules of the elec- only election that is taking place See full results on page 2 Undergraduate representatives support bookstore move to Fifth Street By Matt Gray tail establishments as well, includ- Despite the decision, the move Assistant News Editor ing a restaurant. This is not an off is still a ways from actually occur- campus destination, it is an exten- ring. “The Bookstore move is quite At last week’s meeting, SGA came sion of our campus, as it was ex- controversial and the move is far out in favor of supporting the pro- tended in the recent past when all of from being over,” said Popick. “There posed move of the bookstore to a the west campus apartments were are still pertinent issues being de- location on Fifth Street. If the relo- built.” bated in SGA in these closing ses- cation occurs, the bookstore would Meyers added, “Eventually, the sions.” move to Fifth Street along with a area will become a thriving dining/ In addition to the argument over number of additions to the area, retail area where Georgia Tech and whether or not the move should and could possibly be taken over by midtown merge into a “College take place, a second argument is a national retail company. Town” atmosphere. We believe the dealing with what should happen The proposed move has been relocation will be a winning move to the freed-up space if the move very controversial, with a number for everyone.” does occur. So far, most of the dis- of students opposing the idea. How- Several members of SGA are still cussion has revolved around office ever, SGA’s support helps bring the concerned over the possibility of space for organizations and extend- project one step closer to becoming the privatization of the Bookstore, ing the Student Center. reality. which could cause the prices of text- “The relocation will also release “Georgia Tech is growing,” said books to rise. the current bookstore space for a Rosalind Meyers, Vice President of “It has been the fear of some of much needed expansion of the Stu- Auxiliary Services. “The Master Plan us that students will be hurt by priva- dent Center,” said Meyers. “Our envisioned Tech expanding beyond tizing the Bookstore, as it appears Student Center, which was construct- its current boundaries. The 5th Street would be the case if the Bookstore ed in 1975, is now almost 30 years Project is part of Tech’s planed moves,” said Stephen Popick, an old and was designed to serve a stu- growth. The project is much more Economics representative. “The dent population of 8,000. We now than a bookstore. It will be a com- Bookstore should move and remain have 14,000 students at Tech.” plex composed of a hotel of over ‘the Georgia Tech Bookstore,’ not For the most part, supporters 200 rooms, a 1000 car parking deck, ‘Barnes and Noble with GT Text- look at the move as a way to develop a continuing education building, books.’ SGA should step up and Midtown and add a college feel to an executive conference center, a represent the students by ensuring the area. new college of management build- that textbook prices are protected. “It is safe to say that by the end ing and several retail stores. The As Georgia Tech students, we have of this decade, Georgia Tech will be Courtesy of The Office of the President retail will have the Bookstore as its more important things to worry nested in a much safer and social This is what the Bookstore is planned to look like should the relocation to anchor store, with some smaller re- about.” atmosphere,” said Popick. Fifth street occur. SGA’s support brings it one step closer to happening. A2 • Friday, March 31, 2000 • Technique THE REAL STUFF

Results SGA elections

Undergraduates AE David Brown OPINIONS Christopher Matson Marty Hinson President- RUN-OFF Technique • Friday, March 31, 2000 Matt Mason Architecture INTA J.R. Spriggle Matt Steele Erhan Yilmaz Vice President Coleman Watson OUR VIEWS Consensus Opinion David Moeller Management Biology Allan Coye Freshman Rep Trey Haunson Kevin Sparger UHR Irresponsible Alissa Aiken-President Amelia Dean CHE ME Julie Johnson Aaron Schueneman Kimberly Spuller UHR’s decision to endorse the bookstore move to 5th St. Dusty Riddle Sean Stephansson was completely irresponsible. The representatives should make Nate Watson Physics CS Robert S. Fletcher an attempt to represent the opinions of students, who clearly Sophomore Rep Eric Moore oppose the move. Instead, UHR chose to endorse the move Christian Ashlock Charles West STAC Quincey Kyles Joey Katzen without making more than a token effort to contact their Tiffany Massey- President ECE (EE & CMPE) constituents. Clay Scroggins Robert Kischuk Textile Craig Tommasello Brian Lasseter Nicole Howard UHR has delusions of grandeur about the possibility of Andrew Nalven turning the current bookstore space into study rooms and Junior Rep Luis G. Salas Scotty Crowe- President Eric Woods student organizations’ offices. If UHR was far-sighted enough R. Jason Fowler to wait a few more years for the planned Undergraduate Scott Gaskill HTS Craig Hoover Candace Swint Graduates Living Center, we would have the best of all possible worlds by Aubrey Smith keeping our centralized bookstore and also the benefits of the Economics President Senior Rep Stephen Popick Not yet announced Undergraduate Living Center. Monali Desai UHR is shirking their obligation to the students by jump- Kim Gran IE Vice-President ing on the bandwagon of moving the bookstore. Let’s just Dale Russell- President Neal Belcher Matt Kaufman hope that the administration does not mistake the UHR resolution for student approval of the bookstore move. College Republicans offensive, disrespectful to guest speaker I recently attended the talk giv- akin to, “We know you support I’m glad the Republicans want Editorial Board: en by Dr. Elders—the keystone event condoms in school to decrease teen- to promote intellectual diversity. of Women’s Awareness Month. age pregnancy, do you also support I think that their tone reflected Adam Toner, Editor I was amused to see the Campus necrophelia and bestiality as pre- poorly on our campus and certainly Republicans handing out flyers dis- ventative measures?” reflected poorly on their organiza- Jennifer Dykes, News Editor cussing Dr. Elder’s position on con- The tone of disrespect contin- tion. Becca Cutri-Kohart, Opinions Editor traceptives and education. ued as another member of the party The fundamental part of shar- Chris Baucom, Campus Life Editor I think it’s great that they used attempted to engage Dr. Elders in ing one’s views is respecting some- Sarah Graybeal, Entertainment Editor their symposium last weekend as a debate during a question and an- one else’s opinions. Mindy Wiggins, Sports Editor springboard to start discussing their swer session. They may have been offended Matt Bryan, Managing Editor views on campus. When asked to relinquish the by Dr. Elders, and even by her re- Matt Flagg, Online Editor However, I was mortified when microphone so others could ask sponses to their questions, but this Christina Freyman, Advertising Manager at the end of Dr. Elder’s lecture, the questions, the young man charged is no excuse for disrespect, especial- Dale Russell, Photography Editor group of protesters began to behave “suppression” and asked if his “con- ly when they carry the reputation of in a manner that showed utter dis- servative message was really that Georgia Tech and Women’s Aware- Consensus editorials reflect the majority opinion respect for Dr. Elders and the orga- dangerous.” ness Month on their shoulders. nizers of Women’s Awareness Month To me, the comments sounded of the Editorial Board of The Technique, but not events. like a tagline from their recent con- Jana Scott necessarily the opinions of individual editors. The first comment made was ference. [email protected]

Only then will you find that money cannot be eaten -Cree Prophesy THE REAL STUFF Technique • Friday, March 31, 2000 • A3

Want some REAL live music? Dogwood Festival arrives next week By Alan Back 7:15 p.m. each night. charge of booking acts, a job she COTTON CLUB (152 Luckie St.) (404) 233-7699 Doesn’t joke around with the news New additions for 2000 include first took on in 1994 and has held (404) 874-1993 3/31—Derek Trucks Band, Susan demonstrations of electric vehicles every year since 1996. 4/1—Doubledrive, Stereo Mud, Tedeschi Spring is here again, and you’re donated by Georgia Power and a “It’s like Wheel of Fortune—spin Darling Machine 4/1—No Doubt, Suicide Machines 4/6—JGB, Suicide Kings 4/7—Blueground Undergrass, Vassar probably begging for some excuse full-fledged exhibit by the Magic it and see what comes up,” she said, 4/7—Paydirt, Audiobridge, Blame, Clements, Good Medicine to shovel that festering pile of un- Garden Program. This organization explaining the varied submissions Hundred Dollar Day Web site: www.consopro.com/ finished homework into the nearest works to improve Atlanta’s elemen- she receives. Web site: www.consopro.com/ roxy_body.cfm desk drawer and go have some fun. tary schools by setting up outdoor She fields questions from roughly cclub_body.cfm Next weekend will give you the per- learning areas and teaching children 400 bands every year, some from as SMITH’S OLDE BAR (1574 Piedmont Ave.) fect out: the 2000 Atlanta Dog- about the environment. Cash do- far away as France and Russia. DARK HORSE TAVERN (404) 875-1522 wood Festival. nations and money from food/bev- “I could go on and on about the (816 N. Highland Ave.) 3/31—Bloodkin, Everyday People Piedmont Park will become the erage sales will go to the program. acts that are playing that I think are (404) 873-3607 4/1—Seely, Lift, STB 3/31—Stewart and Winfield, Adam 4/2—Howard Shaft site of countless acts of wanton out- One special feature is Bank of ‘big,’” Aiken commented. She point- Payne Band, Jason Marcum Band 4/3—Evenfall, Kathy Fly, Something 5 door enjoyment, open from noon America’s Down Under Tour, a trav- ed to Reed, Hampton, and David 4/6—Monochrome, Soulspeak, Sonia 4/4—Heritage Cherry, Uncle Lightnin’ to 8 p.m. on April 7, 10 a.m. to 8 eling exhibit designed to teach visi- Ryan Harris as a few of the best- Tetlow Band 4/5—Snake Oil Medicine Show, p.m. on April 8, and noon to 7 p.m. tors about Australia and the Sydney known local performers, Clements 4/7—Elephant, Crave, HAL 9000 Velvet Hammer Admission is free. Olympics. and Billy Joe Shaver as acts with 4/6—Push Stars, Collapsis, Lester’s Farm Businessman Walter Rich start- Julie Johnston, Event Coordi- name recognition on a wider scale. ECHO LOUNGE (551 Flat Shoals Ave.) 4/7—Tommy Thompson, Big Sky, ed the Festival in 1936 as a celebra- nator for the Dogwood Festival, Big or small, though, the bands that (404) 681-3600 Turnstyle tion of springtime in the South. In pointed out, “There will be an am- play each year have one thing in 3/31—Myssouri, The Changelings, Web site: dev.cln.com/mall/smiths recent years, the event’s scope has phitheater, and around it will be common: “There are no amateurs Spectralux 4/1—Stagger Lee, Truckadelic STAR BAR (437 Moreland Ave.) grown to include environmental several different pods…One pod will here; these are vary well-liked and 4/6—Sean Nana, Holy Childhood, (404) 681-9018 improvement through education, be a 10-foot-high rock climbing well-seasoned performers.” Mindseye 3/31—Subsonics, DQE, Jo Jo the community work, and donations. wall—there will be folks showing Now, how to get to the scene of 4/7—Lizardmen, Cherry Valence, Monkey Boy This year’s corporate sponsors how Olympic athletes climb the wall, all this brouhaha? A shuttle bus will Candy Lions 4/1—Blacktop Rockets, Ditchdiggers include Coca-Cola, Heineken, Geor- things like that.” run between the Arts Center MAR- Web site: www.echostatic.com/ 4/2—The Comas gia Power, Mercury Mountaineer, Last but not least: the live music. TA station and Piedmont Park all echolounge 4/5—X-Impossibles, Catfight!, King and the Georgia Lottery. Bands from all over the South (and day Saturday and Sunday. Consid- Lear Jet Over 200 artisans will be on hand a few from elsewhere) will play on ering the size of past crowds (200,000 EDDIE’S ATTIC (515-B N. McDonough St.) 4/6—Hifi and the Roadburners, Cave all weekend long to display their three stages, starting at noon Satur- to 250,000 for the 1999 Festival, (404) 377-4976 Cat Sammy 3/31—Billy Pilgrim, Right As Rain Web site: www.cloun.com/starbar.html wares—photography, jewelry, paint- day and Sunday. Headliners include by Johnston’s estimate), driving in 4/1—Jennifer Nettles ing, pottery, mechanized creations, Col. Bruce Hampton and the Code might not be the smartest idea in 4/2—The Kennedys, Small Potatoes, TABERNACLE (152 Luckie St.) and just about anything else you Talkers, Francine Reed, Pierce Pet- the world; drop a couple of bucks Cowboy Envy (404) 659-9022 can think of. Acclaimed folk artist tis, and Mandorico. Georgia Tech and take advantage of our lovely 4/4—Newton Smith 4/6—Third Eye Blind, Tonic Rev. Howard Finster will come in will also be represented; the Jazz mass transit system instead. 4/5—Kristen Hall, Rick Taylor, Andrew 4/7—Galactic all day Saturday as well. Ensemble is slated for Sunday at 2 Let’s review. Free outdoor activ- Hyra, Kristian Bush Web site: www.tabernaclemusic.com Scope out the canine Frisbee con- p.m. ities? Check. Environmental aware- 4/6—Don Conoscenti tests (noon-5 p.m. Saturday and A kickoff party will be held at ness? Check. Edible stuff and lots of 4/7—Ben Wakeman, Eva James, VARIETY PLAYHOUSE Sunday), or turn the two-legged crit- the Roxy (3110 Roswell Rd.) at 8:30 it? Check. Live music? Check. The Jennifer Daniels, Dave Sutherland (1099 Euclid Ave.) Web site: www.eddiesattic.com (404) 521-1786 ters loose in the children’s area, fea- p.m. on Friday, with Blueground parts are all here, so go outside and 4/1 and 4/2—Jerry Jam 2000 turing crafts, contests, and a few Undergrass, Vassar Clements, and play. MASQUERADE (695 North Ave.) 4/6—Lucky Dube surprise guests. Visit the Eco-Vil- Good Medicine performing. Tick- (404) 577-2007 4/7—Joan Baez lage to learn a few new tricks for ets are $15 in advance, $20 at the For more information on the Atlanta 3/31—Methods of Mayhem, Crazy Town Web site: www.variety-playhouse.com being nice to the planet, gain some door, with proceeds benefiting the Dogwood Festival, visit its Web site: 4/1—Main Street Saints, A Global altitude on the 24-foot rock climb- Magic Garden Program. www.dogwood.org. Call (404) 233- Threat, Brass Knucke Boys, The Check out the Tourdates Web site ing wall, and stick around to watch Dogwood Festival Entertainment 7699 to buy tickets for the April 7 Neglected (www.tourdates.comwww.tourdates.com) to see where your the hot-air balloon exhibitions at Coordinator Caroline Aiken is in kickoff party at the Roxy. 4/5—Agnostic Front, Anti-Heros favorite bands will be appearing next. 4/7—Dog Fashion Disco, Caustic Some of these names may sound a little Thought, Beorscipe, Icepick funny, but the listings are 100% genuine. Web site: www.masq.com ROXY (3110 Roswell Rd.) These four pages consist of factual news. The other 32 do not.

I’m a busy man! I say, either agree with me or take a hike! I'm right, period! End of discussion! - Calvin A4 • Friday, March 31, 2000 • Technique THEpage REAL A4STUFF

Dogwood Festival April Fools SPORTS Alan Back previews the annual Football’s season opener Peidmon Park gathering. against Virginia Tech changed. Technique • Friday, March 31, 2000 Page A3 Page 31 Beesball ends week by pouring on the runs By Seth Andrews scoring two runs off four consecu- on an RBI from Lewis. Again, Tech Totally Clueless tive two out hits. Both Duke and was unsuccessful coming back in Tech scored runs in their respective the ninth inning, squandering a two The Tech baseball team contin- halves of the eight inning, setting on and one out opportunity. Asham- ued its march through the season up the controversial ending to the edly, the Blue Devils took two of this past week, and met some bumps game. three in the series to improve their on the road on the way. In the bottom of the ninth Tech record to 11-20 and 2-4 in the Last Friday Tech won its ninth tried to mount a comeback. Lewis ACC. straight against the Duke Blue Devils hit an infield single and Teixeira The Jackets tried to rebound as 14-1. Tech was powered offensive- walked, and then were adveanced Charleston Southern came to town ly by the round tripper, as eight of to second and third on a sacrifice for a two game series. In the opener their fourteen runs came off home bunt. Goffena was intentionally on Tuesday, the Jackets broke their runs. Junior Cory Vance improved walked, bringing the Basil to the two game losing streak by a 6-3 to 5-1 by pitching seven innings plate. Basil then grounded into a margin. All-American Mark Teix- and allowing only a solo home run controverial double play. Basil was era had another big game, going 3- to J.D. Alleva. He tallied nine strike- called out because of runner’s inter- 4 with a home run and two RBI. outs to bring his season total to 57 ference by Goffena, with the um- Starting pitcher Steve Kelly earned K’s in six appearances. Tech scored pires claiming that Goffena impeded the victory for the Yellow Jackets, early and often, plating two runs in the throw to first base. Neverthe- working six innings and allowing the bottom of the first inning on less, the Jackets’ nine game winning two runs. Andy Mitchell picked up singles by Richard Lewis, Bryan streak ended. his second save of the season, pitch- Prince, and Mark Teixeira. Teixei- Sunday was a duplicate perfor- ing a perfect ninth inning. ra struck again in the third with an mance of the previous day, with the Tech won again on Wednesday, RBI double and Jason Basil added a Jackets coming up short again by this time pouring on the runs to two run shot to increase the Jacket the score of 4-3. Tech displayed an win 12-5. Teixeira was the hero again, lead to 5-0. Lewis, Tech’s leading inability to get the men on base going 4-5 with four RBI. Freshman hitter at .495 hit a three run blast in around the horn to score runs, as Phillip Perry won his first career the fourth inning and Brad Stock- Tech stranded 13 runners. Duke game as a Jacket, pitching five in- ton added another homer in the starter Kevin Perry scattered ten hits nings and allowing three earned runs seventh inning to bring the lead to in seven innings to earn the victory on two hits. He also had eight strike- 10-1. Derek Goffena, not to be out- for the Blue Devils. Tech starter outs. Tech used various offensive done, added his own two run shot Rhett Parrot took the loss, pitching weapons to open up an unsurmount- As the Jackets head into the second half of the season, catcher Bryan in the eighth to cap a four run in- 6 1/3 innings and allowing four able lead for the Buccaneers, scor- Prince, as well as his teammates, hope to come up with some ACC wins. ning. runs on six hits. After Duke put two ing runs in each of the first five Saturday, the Blue Devils exact- on the board, sophomre sensation innings. Richard Lewis increased ed revenge against our Jackets, win- Mark Teixeira tripled and scored to his hitting streak to 18 games while The team has reached the half- Tech needs to finish in the up- ning 4-3.Tech ran into solid pitching cut the lead in half. Duke came pounding out three hits, scoring two way point in the season, and the per third in conference play to earn from Ryan Caradonna,, who worked back to plate two in the seventh on runs in the first two innings. Jason meat of the ACC schedule is at hand. a bid in the NCAA tournament. eight innings and scattered eleven an RBI single and a sacrifice fly. Basil added a two run blast in the The Jackets continue play against Tech needs to combine the good hits to only allow three runs. Duke Teixeira again took matters into his third inning. Brad Busbin and Rob- the North Carolina State Wolfpack pitching of late with their potent took a 3-0 lead before the Jackets own hands, jacking his eighth homer bie Robinson closed out the game in a three game series on the road. offensive play, and then they will be could respond, but the Jackets of the year in the seventh. Tech in the mound to improve Tech to N.C. State has a 16-11 record and able to make some noise in the bounced back in the fifth inning, trimmed the lead to one in the eighth 20-8. looks improve against the Jackets. postseason. Softball team has .500 week prior to their FSU matchup

By Prezre Lease in control of the game early as they earned the victory as she allowed Making a comeback got on the board in their first at bat just three hits, walked two and struck taking a 3-0 lead behind an RBI out one. This week has been a topsy tur- single from Kori Jacobson and two During the weekend’s win, sec- vey one for the Yellow Jacket’s soft- Bears' errors, allowing two addi- ond baseman Ellen Styer belted a ball team. Last Saturday, they faced tional runs to score. one-run triple and rightfielder Ja- Southwest Missouri State and came However, Brown took the lead cobson went 3-for-3 while driving up with a win. for good in the top of the fifth, in two runs to help lead the Jackets However, they couldn’t keep the scoring all five of their runs on four over Southwest Missouri State (15- streak alive against Brown on hits, two walks, and one Yellow Jacket 13) by the score of 6-2. Wednesday. error. Tech head coach Kate Madden Held to just three hits on the Jamie Smith (9-10) received the thus scored a victory over her alma afternoon, Tech (18-22, 0-2) fell to loss for Tech as she gave up seven mater in the Jackets' first meeting Brown (4-7) by the score of 5-3 in hits, walked one and gave up five with the Bears. Wednesday’s game. runs. The Bears jumped out to an ear- The Yellow Jackets looked to be For the Bears, Aleana Sutton ly 2-0 lead in the top of the fourth as Annie Medico had a two-out dou- ble to knock in two runs. But, Georgia Tech would bounce SPORTS BUZZ back as they exploded for six runs behind seven hits in the bottom of Yellow Jacket baseball will be out of town this weekend, the fifth. In that inning, the Jackets received RBI hits from Lindsay taking on the 16-11 N.C. State Wolfpack. Wood, Jamie Frost, Styer and Ja- cobson. Tech’s softball team will be out of town this weekend, also, Freshman pitcher Tiffany Good- as they will travel to Florida State for a double-header. man (9-12) received the win for the Jackets as she pitched seven strong They will be in action at home next Wednesday, April 5 innings allowing two runs on seven against Georgia Southern. hits and striking out three. Sarah Nemlowill took the loss for the Bears as she came in in relief and allowed Golf participates in the U.S. Collegiate Championship, four runs on six hits. April 7-9 at the Black Dimond Rance in Lecanto, FL. The Jackets softball squad will be in action again this Saturday when For more information on sporting events, visit they will travel to Tallahassee to take on Florida State (28-27, 0-0) By Dale Russell /STUDENT PUBLICATIONS www.ramblinwreck.com. in a double header, which will be The Yellow Jacket softball team is hopeful of improving their record this crucial to their ACC standings. weekend against FSU and using that momentum for the rest of the season. page 6

Pithy words of wisdom: “The first of April, some do say, DOGMA Is set apart for All Fools' Day. But why the people call it so, Technique • Saturday, April 1, 2000 Nor I, nor they themselves do know. But on this day are people sent On purpose for pure merriment.” OUR VIEWS Consensus Opinion - Poor Robin's Almanac (1790) Awesome Auxiliary Jedi Council: Auxiliary Services have been wonderful to campus. With- out the courtesy, efficient, and customer-centered dining, Major TonAd LeSt., Emperor housing and parking services, life here would be miserable. The food is absolutely wonderful, entirely nutritious and General DykJe Fo'Mor, Hutt Gangster Lord Koh ReCuErit, Grand Moff well-rounded. We especially enjoy eating spaghetti and cold General BauChDiMac, Jedi Master hamburgers every day for an entire semester. Admiral Gra Sa Sa'Cha, Dark Lord of the Sith We have no complaints about parking, either. Spaces are WigMi Cl'Bru, The Force Major RusDaBrHah, Jedi Knight easy to find and permits are incredibly cheap. And the staff has Lord FreChKeAlb, Yoda’s Lost Apprentice courtesy and customer service at heart. General Fla MaPiLan, Bounty Hunter It goes without mentioning how much we are endeared to BryMa RiLak, Stormtrooper housing. The rooms are spacious, the air conditioning and heat is always set to the right temperature, hot water is always available. But most of all, we love how there are apartment style rooms for everyone at campus at such a low price. No one ever gets denied a place to live. We love you auxiliary services! ’Nique Spills the Beans Being on the Technique editorial staff has tons of benefits. And since the requests we’ve been getting for information about our perks are overwhelming, we’ve decided to spill the beans on what really happens behind the closed doors of the ’Nique office. Contrary to popular belief, we don’t just do this job for the rewards of serving our fellow student. In fact, the YOUR VIEWS Letters to the Emperor Technique editorial board is taking bribes from every major player on campus. Stinging Buzz cruel stereotype of friendly, defenseless insect We have free parking in every zone on campus, with a I am so frustrated that I have just are too big and disproportional to a staff, as the only major weekly pub- about had it! I am shocked and ap- normal body of such an insect. His lication on campus, endorses this master Buzz card for all gates, and diplomatic immunity from palled at the gross misrepresenta- tail is also not that wide. If you are derogatory portrayal of this insect. the police. In fact, we are actually above the Tech law, and we tion of Yellow Jackets as is portrayed going to mimic him, at least be ana- From ads to articles, your paper feeds get an automatic reprieve from all tickets. We get priority by your mascot, smugly named tomically correct. the fire. “Buzz.” I’ll have you know that not all You should know better than to registration for classes, with a guaranteed 4.0 GPA, a six-hour Buzz, your black and gold mas- yellow jackets “sting.” They are ac- do that this is slanderous. Students “A” each semester for working on the ’Nique, and exemption cot, infringes on animals’ rights, tually quite nice animals. It is not and people on campus look to you from all finals. Each one of us has our own six-person apart- namely insects. Going to a few games their fault at all that they are little for news and facts, not some cheap this past year, I have noticed he and cannot fend for themselves. I, logos of bees that grin, stand tall, ment, provided for free by housing, and Marriott delivers all does things that make people think for one, have many insects as pets and sting. the good food to our doorsteps. The cable in our room includes of stereotypical representations of and they are very nice if you treat You are giving a derogatory rep- Showtime and Cinemax, and we have priority access to a yellow jackets. People push him and them with the dignity they deserve. utation to these wonderful insects bother him. He runs around Bobby It makes me cry to think that who not only protect the environ- special Gigabit internet connection. Dodd Field doing stupid things to there are people and places out there, ment, but also deserve ethical treat- We sit in the President’s box at every football game. We are make people laugh. Well, I wasn’t like your institute, who are shallow ment. laughing. enough to make fun of insects. all members of ANAK. We are pawns of auxiliary services, Buzz does not even look like a And why did I chose to write to B. Z. Sharpe student government, the administration, and the faculty. Our real yellow jacket. For one, his eyes your so called “news” paper? Your Humane Society for Yellow Jackets pay is six figures per issue, with free tuition, and unlimited funds on our Buzz card. We also take free trips to New York, Religious walkway zealots urge conversion to cult worship complete with limousine transportation. [Editor’s Note: The following re- the indeterminable depths of dark- earth I can spend my limited amount And, of course, we get free pizza every Tuesday night at 7 fers to the consensus editorial “Jesus ness like Leonardo DiCaprio’s sap- of time wearing what I want (or only loves you on the Skiles walkway” py and girly character. even nothing at all), engaging in p.m. in the Technique office. in the February 25, 2000 issue of the Skiles activists made me realize hallucinogenic drug use, practicing Technique.] that my sinful life of listening to free sex, and being vain and beauti- I was raised as a devout atheist bands that have parental advisory ful before being reincarnated to en- McDow for Prez until my life was changed by the warning stickers on their albums joy yet another life of the same Skiles walkway. Sarah’s editorial will never be forgiven, since I have wonderful and fulfilling activities. I Randy McDow gets Technique’s endorse- opened my eyes to the amazing reli- no strong desire to accept Jesus into no longer feel guilty about my life- ment for Undergraduate Student Body Pres- gious resources available from our my heart, wear pastel colors, play style. I have adopted a Goddess name friendly Atlanta neighborhood zeal- the guitar, and work as a camp coun- and I practice Yoga every morning ident. His third-party candidacy is especially ots. selor. I am now repulsed by the instead of stressing out about the important in light of the close runoff situ- These people truly have strong saccharine smiles of campus activ- opinions others have of my appear- ation. Even though he isn’t actually an and often aggressively overpower- ists with their long blond hair, flop- ance. ing belief systems. After reading her py Bibles, and faded Birkenstocks, If it were not for those on the undergraduate and his position as a Geor- editorial, I decided to do some re- as they seek not to increase my spir- Skiles walkway, I would never have gia Tech staff member would probably search on my own, and what fol- itual awareness through kind invi- taken the initiative to seize the mo- represent a conflict of interest, he would do a great job as USG lowed was a thrilling and eye-opening tation, but rather to “save my soul” ment of my spiritual existence. I adventure down the path of self- with a keen precision better reserved would never have sought out the President. He even has genuine leadership experience as former discovery. for government employed Nation- bosom of She who truly is my mother. president of the ULC hall council. He tries his best to be the For instance, I realized that I al Security snipers. Even if I am damned to an eternal wind beneath the wings of campus leaders. He will make an have no hope for salvation, as I like In response to this epiphany, I fiery pit, I will at least live my life to to wear black and have several body have made the decision to charter the absolute fullest while I am here. outstanding President! piercings. Like the Titanic, it is only the Student Cult Alliance, where I Thank you Sarah, for showing me Consensus editorials are the absolute truth as spoken by the a matter of time before an inevita- can worship the Goddess, who loves my true path in life. ble iceberg collision will render me me, in the company of my sisters prophetic members of the editorial board of the Technique. destroyed and doomed, sinking to and brothers in the bond. Here on Lady Flower Wolf Moon Child DOGMA Technique • Saturday, April 1, 2000 • 7 EDITORS’ VIEWS Staff Opinions TECHNIQUE “The South’s Liveliest College Ten things I hate about you... errr, things I love about Tech Newspaper” I don’t know about all you read- create a terrific social life. Though I Established in 1911 ers out there, but I, for one, am “Rain or shine, that nice, elderly hear that the men at some technical tired of hearing student after stu- schools spend each of their waking Editor dent complain about this wonder- man drives [the Stinger] slowly hours in front of a computer screen Adam W. Toner ful institution of ours. Seriously folks, enough to catch even the worst playing Quake, that certainly isn’t can you imagine having such a top- the case here. People are always out • • • notch educational experience, both of stragglers.” and about. News Jennifer Dykes, Editor in and out of the classroom, at any Roy 9) Students are healthy and well- Matt Gray, Assistant Editor other university? What an utterly Your Momma’s Editor rested. During my four years on Angela Swilley, Carl Valentino ridiculous concept! this campus, I can’t recall a single Mindy Wiggins To really prove my point, I now night in which I got less than the Opinions Becca Cutri-Kohart, Editor offer you a list of ten things I love hall. Hot, fresh, and never greasy… my claim, I offer two words: SAC recommended eight hours of bliss- Karen Feigh, Jennifer Hinkel, Brinda about Georgia Tech. And before I always leave satisfied, without hav- fields. I went flying with a friend ful slumber. No late nights slaving Ramaiya you poo-poo them, think about what ing to resort to cold french fries and last Sunday and believe me, you can over lab reports or studying for kill- Campus Life I’m saying. It’s important! I’m even half-cooked chicken sandwiches. see those things from miles away. er finals for Tech students! And since Chris Baucom, Editor Brinda Ramaiya, Assistant Editor thinking about forcibly handing out There are always plenty of choco- Absolutely, positively green. we wake up each morning feeling Robert Hill, Jennifer Hinkel, Angela copies of this article on the Skiles late chip cookies too! (Mmm, I love 6) Professors are always fair. I so good, campus is so much happi- Swilley, Ewe Ire, Prezre Lease walkway between 11 and 2 this com- those.) The silverware is always made can’t even remember the last time I er. People actually look straight ahead Entertainment ing Tuesday. out of real metal, never plastic, while received a grade any less than A in instead of at their feet, and say “hel- Sarah Graybeal, Editor Michael Epstein, Jennifer Hinkel, Jon 1) Housing is available. Now the plates are never made of styro- even my most difficult Aerospace lo” when they pass their fellow Kaye, Jamie Schulz I’ve heard the horror stories, but foam. And the dining environment Engineering classes, especially Vi- Techies. itself is so pleasant—the tempera- bration and System Dynamics. In 10) Everyone reads the Enter- Sports just can’t take them seriously. De- Mindy Wiggins, Editor spite the rumors, everyone that I ture is never too hot or too cold, my experience, tests are always fash- tainment section. Now I know that Seth Andrews, Assistant Editor know got housing for next year; in and that bright new paint job does ioned in a way that students have the Technique does a great job of David Williams fact, I don’t know a single person wonders. more than enough time to com- providing you, the reader, with news Production who didn’t get a great room in one 4) Stingers are prompt and effi- plete the problems and check the you can use about administrative Christina Freyman, Advertising Mgr. Anar Desai, Production Mgr. of the apartment buildings! Room- cient. Every time I walk out the work. I’ve also found my professors decisions, campus life interest, and Gavin Cramblet, Copy Editor mate requests were consistently hon- door, the Stinger is there for me. have been sympathetic to my busy sports, but we all know that the true Christina Honea. Jamie Schultz, Matt ored, and I must say that I really There is never a wait, and the 20- routine, scheduling tests at least a heart of the paper is the Entertain- Photography liked the no-down-payment policy minute interval between buses is week apart so as to give me ade- ment section. Where else could a Dale Russell, Editor Alisa Hawkins, Assistant Editor adopted this year. accurate enough to set my watch quate study time. student possibly go to find the same Wade Burch, Darkroom Mgr. by. Since they run each route twice, 7) Class offerings are diverse. top-quality and timely reviews of Eric Moore, PMT Technician 2) On-campus parking is cheap Josh Freeman, Jordan Hall and spots are easy to find. Nothing once in each direction, I can always Let me tell you how pleased I am recent movies and music releases? makes me happier than coming home get to my destination as quickly as with my fall schedule. I may be an We get the hottest new CDs and Online Matt Flagg, Editor at 11:00 on a weekday night and possible. Rain or shine, that nice, engineering major, but that doesn’t passes to movies with the coolest finding that I have my choice of elderly man drives slowly enough mean I don’t like to read an occa- stars. Sometimes we even get flown Managing Editor Matt Bryan great parking spaces. Each one is to catch even the worst of strag- sional book or paint a masterpiece to Hollywood—boy is that a treat! Andy Dykes, Computer Support conveniently located less than a glers. And I love the way that one every few days, and the abundance The Entertainment section is what Board of Student minute from my door. I’ve never guy holds my hand. of literature, social science, and as- students in the know turns to first Publications been towed, my ticket appeals are 5) Green space is abundant. sorted liberal arts classes offered by each Friday. Dr. Carole E. Moore, Chair RoseMary Wells, Publications Mgr. always successful, and darn it if those There is so much grass and so many Tech makes it possible for me to So there you have it my friends, Hoyt Coffee, Faculty Adviser ladies behind the desk in the park- trees here that it’s an effort not to indulge my creative side. a list of what, in my humble opin- ing office aren’t some of the nicest just go bounding across campus sing- 8) Social lives are easy to get. ion, makes Tech so great. I won’t Advertising and Accounting Nancy Bowen, Ad ReservationsMgr. people on campus. ing at the tops of my lungs: “The With professors making it so easy stand for any more of your silly, Marcus Kwok, Accounts Mgr. 3) Brittain is yummy. I enjoyed hills are alive…” Now is the best to finish homework early in the week silly complaints. Until we meet on • • • the best meal of my life the other time of year, so get out there and and, in some cases, letting students the Skiles walkway, I leave you with day at our very own Brittain dining smell all those flowers. If you doubt exempt Friday classes, it’s easy to these words: April Fools!! Copyright Notice Copyright © 2000, Adam W. Toner, Editor, and by the Board of Student Publications. The Technique is an official Seventeen things I love about my car... Oh, I mean the EvilCar publication of the Georgia Tech Board of Student Publications. No part of this paper may be reproduced in any manner It’s April Fools day, and by now 14) My car has a nickname. Yep, without written permission from the you’ve probably figured out that it’s called the EvilCar. Does your Editor or from the Board of Student Publications. The ideas expressed herein most of this paper is filled with false “It’s called the EvilCar. Does your car have a cool nickname? An evil are those of the editor or the individual information. So I don’t see much nickname, perhaps? authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Board of Student point in writing an editorial about car have a nickname? An evil 15) My car gets good gas mile- Publications, the students, staff, or faculty something in which I don’t actually nickname, perhaps? age. How’s that for environmental of Georgia Tech, or the University System believe. friendliness? of Georgia. My car, on the other hand, is Prezre Lease 16) My car has a smokescreen. Advertising Information Information and rate cards can be found definitely something in which I be- Campus Strife Editor Whenever I want to elude some- on our World Wide Web site at lieve. I’ll list for you, dear reader, one, the EvilCar emits a green cloud http://cyberbuzz.gatech.edu/technique/. The deadline for reserving ad space and the reasons why. And I’m only get- of smoke and I make my escape. submitting ad copy is noon on Friday, one ting away with this because it’s April 4) It’s boxy, yet stylish. My car ter time. Honestly, my car starts That’s actually my only option since week prior to publication. There are no exceptions to this policy. For rate Fools. has character, at least in my opin- putting out heat less than five min- I can’t outrun anybody... information, call our offices at (404) 894- 1) It gets me home safely after ion. It’s also a windblock, but that utes after I start it up. 17) It has “very sturdy” head 2830, Tuesday through Friday from 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Advertising space cannot be deadline. What more could I want high performance, normally aspi- 9) It only fails to start once in a restraints on all four seats. Every- reserved over the phone. TheTechnique in a car? I routinely stay in the Tech- rated, single overhead cam 2.3 liter while. And it has only left me stranded one who rides in my car complains office is located in room 137 of the Student Services Building, 353 Ferst nique office until 2 or 3 a.m. on four cylinder engine really compen- at home or at Tech—never in some about them, but my passengers will Drive, Atlanta, Georgia 30332-0290. Questions regarding advertising billing Wednesday nights, and my car pa- sates for the extra wind resistance. far away place. How’s that for de- never suffer from whiplash if I’m should be directed to Kristina Moores at tiently waits outside to wing me 5) It has side impact protec- pendability? rear-ended. (404) 894-9187, or RoseMary Wells at back to my home on East Campus. tion, but not those newfangled side 10) It has several siblings on the Okay, so maybe my car isn’t all (404) 894-2830. It didn’t stop me from being pulled airbags. Yep, I have good, old fash- Georgia Tech campus. Identical that great. But I’m still planning to over after making an illegal left turn ioned, three inch thick doors with twins, I mean. Or maybe that’s trip- drive it until the wheels fall off. Letter Submission Policy The Technique welcome all letters to the from Cherry Street on to North steel beams inside. That’s all the lets... There are at least two other With any luck, that will be a very editor and will print letters on a timely and space-available basis. Letters should be Avenue at 4:00 a.m., though. That side impact protection I need. cars on campus that look exactly long time from now. And then I’ll hand-delivered, mailed to Georgia Tech was my own fault. 6) It has an airbag. For me, any- like mine, and several others that give it to one of my kids, and he or Campus Mail Code 0290, or E-mailed to [email protected]. Letters 2) The headlights come on au- way. My poor passenger has to rely- are pretty similar. she will be embarassed to drive such should be addressed to Adam Toner, tomatically. When it starts to get on a lowly seatbelt in the event of an 11) It’s comfortable for short an old car to school. Editor. All letters must be signed and must include a campus box number or other dark outside, I never have to manu- accident. The miles of hood and trips. But not long ones. I’ve actu- Or maybe I’ll donate it to the valid mailing address for verification ally turn on the lights. That’s a big fender help, too, as does the tre- ally had people complain to me about Technique when I graduate. It’s tax- purposes. Letters should not exceed 350 words and should be submitted by 8 a.m. plus for someone as absent-minded mendous inertia of a two-ton car. how sore my seats make their seats. deductible, you know (hint, hint). Wednesday in order to be printed in the as I am. I recently borrowed my Bigger and heavier usually beats lit- Six hours in my car on the way to Then we’ll have our very own Swed- following Friday’s issue. Any letters not meeting these criteria or not considered by dad’s car and got pulled over after tle tin can. anywhere... Yuck! ish version of the Ramblin’ Reck to the Editorial Board of the Technique to be deadline one night for not having 7) It is easy to repair. I can al- 12) It has breathtaking acceler- complement our electric golf cart of valid intent will not be printed. Editors reserves the right to edit for style, content, my lights on. I actually just leave ways amaze my mechanically in- ation. Yeah, right. Don’t hold your from Canada. and length. Only one submission per my car’s headlights on all the time. clined friends simply by opening breath—I’d lose a drag race against person will be printed each quarter. 3) It’s built like a tank. It also the hood. Yep, there’s enough extra a go-cart. Prezre’s editorial doesn’t even com- looks like a tank and handles like a room under there to stand up. That 13) Its trunk is exceptionally pare with Roy’s, but he still tries. Prezre Contacting Us [email protected] tank, but that’s no so bad. Really, means easy access when things go large. It’s great for stashing all my also forgot to give Ewe Ire her byline [email protected] it’s not. I feel very safe while driving wrong. stuff when I have to move across in the Campus Strife section, but that [email protected] all 3,800 pounds of my car. It has 8) It has darned good heat. Ap- campus or go home over the sum- sort of thing happens during dead- almost 190,000 miles and it’s still parently, Sweden has really cold win- mer. I’ve even carried a human back line. Prezre is also upset that he didn’t Online going strong, so that certainly says ters. The air conditioner is crummy, there before. It was just across cam- get ritualistically dunked in the foun- http://cyberbuzz.gatech.edu/technique/ something for longevity. but I’ve never been cold in the win- pus... Really! tain last night. Hmph. 8 • Saturday, April 1, 2000 • Technique DOGMA Recent scrat attacks victimize students Parking enforcement solves problems with ray gun strategy I’m writing to you concerning black eyes turning red and the froth I am very pleased of the Tech- This state of the art, experimental twelve billion dollars to have their my hideous encounter with a par- of saliva making a trail. I was losing nique’s favorable coverage of the technology developed by the School car released from impoundment. ticular group of vermin on campus. hope. Parking office over the years. Even of Electrical Engineer will instanta- Of course, these new parking These fat atrocious little crea- I tripped, stumbled, and ended though I am new in my position, I neously transport any car parked procedures will eliminate the need tures that were either spawned from on my back. The thing took a final have read with glee all the past glow- without a permit to one of the outer for ticketing and towing. Thus, the nuclear waste in the raw sewage that leap towards me and instinctively, ing remarks you have made about moons of Jupiter. parking department has decided to stinks up the sidewalks or created all I could do was put my treasured our services. downsize. The whole office will be by some maniacal grad student who’s bag of spicy fries, five pieces of chicken Based on all this student input, I disbanded. Our former building pet bio-engineering project went a tenders, and cup of honey mustard think it has come time for the park- “... cars without will be turned into a coffee shop wry. under my back as I tried feebly to ing office to mend all our old wounds. with a beatnik theme. Only one Last Friday, I decided to treat fend off the scrat. So, from now on, there will be permits will be employee will remain. He will be myself to some Junior’s after a hard The fiend was determined to take some policy changes. First of all, zapped into the on a lifetime contract, and will live week’s worth of work. my meal. It went to my side and every student on campus will be in the parking office as a hermit. I walked out of Junior’s with my made attempts at pulling the bag mailed a free parking permit. They vastness of space” He will be completely detached from order of tenders when, in a trash from my back. will be assigned a lot most conve- Dod Neis reality and will handle all requests can adjacent to the French build- It took bites at my hands, arms, nient to where they live. And, of Director, Interplanetary Travel for your car to be returned to the ing, I heard some loud noise. Now and belly, doing whatever it could course, they will also be allowed to planet Earth. granted, I’ve come across rummag- to get the package. I was getting park in the lots with the nearest to Parking has always had the stu- ing sounds from mice, rats, and cats, fatigued and could no longer fight their classes. dents concerns at heart. I hope this but this sounded like a small poodle it off. Built into each permit will be a No appeals process will be nec- new policy meets the expectations having a blast in the trash. Students saw the entire episode chip that functions both as identifi- essary, since only cars without per- all our happy customers have about This creature, the size of rac- and were shocked. Someone called cation and a transmorgifying ray mits or parked in the wrong zone our fine staff. This is just one way coon, jumped out of the can and campus police as well as the EMT’s, gun. will be zapped into the vastness of Auxiliary Service can serve you. perched itself on the rims of the so that I could get some medical This will solve the problem of space, the violators will get the pun- container. It had a pointed noise, assistance. illegal parking, as your ray gun will ishment they deserve. Violators will Dod Neis black beady eyes, a curled bushy tail Ladies were screaming, guys were remove anyone parked in your space. be expected to pay an estimated Director of Interplanetary Travel the size of a fox’s, and gray fur com- amazed, and people in white lab pletely covering its body. coats were jotting down notes. I The beast sat there with a spicy passed out. Its easy to appreciate aged architecture, retro perspective fry in its paw just staring at me. As I lay on this cold, white hos- I just wanted to write-in and say Mason Dixon line. Cainprov building with a “hurri- Then it happened. The thing pital bed taking my how beautiful I think the new Beat that MIT yanks! My only cane proof” building (lucky for Ver- raised its fat little head, started sniffing thirteenth...ouch...fourteenth shot MRDC II building is. regret was that the Wall Film Festi- non, he always wanted his own the air, and realized what I had. for rabies I urge my fellow brothers Its not even complete yet, and val never caught on. building). It wanted the gourmet stuff and sisters to take this little story as the large vertical flat walls with a Another architectural wonder on I say one can never be too pre- straight out of the fryer. I was scared a warning about a new family mem- combination of brick and exposed this campus, which, in my opinion, pared. and hungry, so I took off running. ber here on campus. concrete gives a very attica look that has been overlooked in recent years My cousin, Bobby Sue was in an I ran down toward Skiles and Tech has accepted visitors like seems to be lacking in other parts is the VanLeer building. awful mess when her house was de- down the steps. I don’t understand Stumpy the bear, Sideways the dog, on this campus. To the architect, my hat is off to stroyed in the last hurricane. This my rationale at the moment, but I and our venerable mascot, Buzz. It is my personal opinion that you, the creative use of ceramic tile mistake may save our lives one day. felt the Student Center was the saf- The Junior’s scrat may not have this new building is only second with the glass was sheer brilliance! May the architecture department est place I could be. been received by the campus with behind the Hightower building in No one should never over look continue is fine tradition of struc- The vermin literally jumped the open arms, but it is here to stay. pure aesthetics. the elegant functionality of the Skiles tural elegance into the 21st century. entire set of stairs at Skiles and was Though we were on the right building. closing in. Alvin Fraid track with the Boggs building, that Now some people still blame the Ms. Ugina Uni I looked back and could see the [email protected] is the prettiest wall this side of the architect for mistaking the Harry [email protected]

"The first of April is the day we remember what we are the other 364 days of the year. " - Mark Twain CAMPUSpage 11STRIFE Technique • Saturday, April 1, 2000 • 11

All the news that’s fit to print... Hey, they don’t call us “The South’s Liveliest College CAMPUS STRIFE Newspaper” for nothing. Read about all those things you dreamed would happen. Or maybe nightmared. Technique • Saturday, April 1, 2000 ULC suspended after numerous counts of misconduct By Henrietta Schminkel to distract everyone from com- ULC suspension is still a mys- Queen of England plaining about not getting rooms tery. next year,” said Burdell. Buzz, the Georgia Tech mas- The ULC, or Undergradu- Tech alum Terry Singer fond- cot himself, was forcibly detained ate Living Center, was suspend- ly recalled his days as a resident last Saturday after leaving the ed from campus yesterday after of ULC. “The best part was when ULC around 2:00 a.m. He re- authorities heard reports of mis- we all got to go out in the hall- fused to speak when questioned conduct ranging from inappro- about his activities, but did per- priate use of country music to form a dance and twenty push- impersonation of a university ups on the top of Curran Street mascot. parking deck. The building has been on “I don’t live in ULC, Several ULC residents are probation since incidents involv- but I go there every arguing that the suspension is ing hallway football and fire sprin- based on unfair standards set by klers were investigated last year. weekend.” the behavior of the “typical” Tech The low level probation was up- Janice Panikowski student. graded to Secret Double Proba- CS Student “Just because we don’t sit tion after authorities discovered around and play Quake, the ad- diagrams outlining how to steal ministration is all over us,” said the T in a study lounge. senior Industrial Design student “This is ridiculous,” said ULC way and throw chairs at each Matt Johnson, chair of the ULC president Gregory Burdell, neph- other. Of course, it was really all social programs committee. ew of the well-known George P. about conflict resolution in pos- “I don’t live in ULC, but I go Burdell and third-year Electri- itive manners.” there every weekend,” said fresh- cal Engineering student. Gre- The department of housing man CS major Janice Panikowski, gory has spent almost two years has refused to comment on the who lives on the fourth floor of in the ULC, and is the regular situation, but an anonymous Harrison. “With ULC suspend- host of the party room known as source from the inside said, “To ed, the parties will stop. Social Taken directly from the mascot wall... Club 1323. “This is just a cover- Hell with Georgia!” What this Space filler man makes his triumphant return as a disgruntled ULC resident. up by the housing department statement has to do with the See ULC, page 12 Wouldn’t you have a similar reaction if your dorm got kicked off campus? Hiss, hiss! Introductory computer science Marriott improves food quality By Angel Smiles pointed by the ‘I wouldn’t feed The proposal also aims to dif- Campus Life Staff this to my dog’ and ‘just plain ferentiate between the taste of classes declared the anti-shaft crap’ ratings of the past two years.” the fish and chicken patties. Com- This Monday, Marriott an- Dandy feels that the initiative mittee member Jacob Smith, the By Buffy The CS Department has devised an nounced an initiative to imple- points the campus’s food towards token student on the commit- Vampire Slayer, The outline that is similar to many other ment sweeping changes in the FIC’s aim of edible. tee, claims that you no longer reputable institutions’ CS programs food quality in Britain and Woo- The first aspect of the pro- have to look at shape to tell the In an effort to be more aligned such as the one at University of Geor- druff Dining Halls. The plan posal came about when a health difference. with other schools across the coun- gia in Athens. comes after a month-long de- inspection finally forced the din- Smith states, “It used to be try, the College of Computing an- Under the new revisions, CS 1311 bate by the Food Improvement ing hall kitchen to be cleaned fish was square, chicken was nounced this week that they are revising will continue to be an introductory Committee (FIC). and fumigated. round. Now, you can actually course outlines of all computer sci- class. However, it will now be enti- The Committee met every- Dining hall worker Emma taste a difference!” ence classes. tled “Introduction to Computers.” day and intensely debated how Woodhouse reports that she was Another radical change “We want CS to be the ‘Anti- Gone will be psuedocode and in its to raise the food at the dining peeling off years worth of dust planned in the meat served at Shaft’,” commented Program Man- place will be weekly labs with no quizzes halls to a National Dining Hall when she discovered “these the dining halls is the plan to ager D. Shaft. “We understand that or homework. Review Board (NDHRB) rat- strange bottles with plant parts.” discontinue the practice of add- students here DO have other things Lab topics that are currently be- ing of “edible.” She exclaims that, “Turns out ing rubber to its “meat” patties. to do besides working on their CS ing planned include Installing Soft- Committee member J. T. they’re called ‘spices’ and are Committee member Bob Fromb classes. We want our students to be ware, Connecting to the Internet, Dandy states that, “We have been supposed to be used on food to states that, “We know it will be well developed and well, actually Keyboarding (which is a prerequisite aiming for the edible rating for add flavor. I’m real excited about HAVE a life.” to 1311), Formatting a Disk: Part 1, years and have been so disap- what these spices can do.” See Food, page 14 The renovations will take place E-mailing and your Prism account, slowly, according to Shaft, and will and Identifying Basic Computer Parts begin with implementing the new and Units. Also slated are nightly rec- structure to CS 1311, 1312, and 2330 itations that will extensively cover access Not enough guys to go around this Fall Semester. to porn, warez, and mp3s on the In- So what’s new for incoming fresh- By I. M. Woman tistic adds frustration to Tech Several women have turned men to look forward to in the fall? See CS, page 12 The Original Campus Ass females as they pursue relation- to alternative sources of men to ships with the few men found in find potential mates. Since the Many female Tech students the Colleges of Computing and addition of Ethernet to residence believe that they would have more Engineering. halls and sorority houses, many fulfilling relationships if they “I’m tired of asking out guys women have used the Internet could actually find dates, but and being rejected. I bet the guys as a means of finding compan- the lack of males at Tech pre- here just think they’re great now ionship. vents them from having active EE senior Michela Ward said social lives. that after attempting to date three Tech women, having long Tech males, she decided to look suffered from a disproportion- “What does it take online for love. “I got onto ate male/female ratio, are reach- to find a real man www.amanforyou.com, and ing new levels of sexual started e-mailing this guy I met frustration. A recent survey con- here?” in a chat room who said he was ducted by annoying zealots along Michela Ward from Roswell. Turns out ‘he’ the Skiles walkway between class- EE Senior was really a 45 year-old impris- es indicates that Tech females oned obese woman named Ber- are tired of not having enough tha from Nevada. What does it men on campus to form healthy take to find a real man here?” dating habits. because there are so few of them,” Others have taken advantage The ratio of males/females at said one angry IE sophomore, of local colleges and area high Tech has long been a sore point who asked to remain anonymous. schools when searching for dates. By Alan Dale Russell / STUDENT PUBLICATIONS for many women. Current reg- “They must have some psycho- Alexis Robinson, a ME jun- No more hard CS classes? Thanks to the College of Computing’s new system, istrar’s information shows that logical/self-esteem problem, be- ior, praised the men she’s met at only the very basics of computing will be taught—such as how to surf the ‘Net. there are three females on cam- cause they won’t go out with pus to every one male. This sta- me.” See No guys, page 15 12 • Saturday, April 1, 2000 • Technique CAMPUS STRIFE

among other new features. A maxi- Kroger manager D. Storemahn campaign to reinstate ULC’s char- CS from page 11 mum time of five hours a week will ULC from page 11 stated the following in a press con- ter with the department of housing. be required for working on games. ference yesterday evening: “We are The band will be present at his kick- ternet. Free caffeine and carbonated bever- life on campus will grind to a screech- all well aware that lactose rich prod- off rally, where they will perform “CS is or never has been very ages along with fresh donuts will be ing halt. We might have to start ucts, specifically milk, have played such timeless classics as “Ramblin’ difficult when you come to think of provided in the CoC every day. going elsewhere and spending our Wreck” and the Budweiser theme it,” points out Junior Teaching As- “Since this class is restricted to weekends in Athens! Perish the song, “You’ve Said it All.” The rally sistant A. Punk. “And the CoC is only CompE and CS majors, we thought!” will take place at the shaft on Satur- just trying to step it up a notch. want the students to be able to have Even more disconcerting than “Social life on day, April 1, at noon. Buzz, Presi- These are tools that people will need plenty of resources available for them the loud country music and hall- campus will grind to a dent Clough, Robert Woodruff, for the rest of their lives, not just to use,” stated Professor Greenleaf. way sporting events is the uncon- Tyler Brown, Britney Spears, useless information that they will “I want at least 50% As and Bs in firmed report that students living screeching halt. We N’Sync, Rebecca Romain-Stamos, never use. We would never do that this class. There’s more to life that the ULC are known to consume might have to start and Prince William will be among to students. I mean why create a your computers; CS shouldn’t be large amounts of the dangerous sub- the international celebrities who have linked list for example when we have hard. I don’t know about other pro- stance known as milk. spending our taken up the ULC’s cause. a class in Java that already has it? I fessors, but I care, I really do.” Rumors of milk parties late into weekends in Athens! Miss Spears will perform her new never want to see a CS class that All CS classes will go through the night are just one of the ques- hit single “Baby, Baby, Take me to makes students do that…it would some general changes. Grades will tionable practices in which ULC Perish the thought!” the ULC.” N’Sync will debut a new just be wrong. We should utilize be turned in as soon as homework residents may be engaging. A re- Janice Panikowski song with the assistance of the Geor- what we have.” and labs are done so students can cent campaign to make students Freshman CS student gia Tech Chorale led by Dr. Will- As for CS 1312, Georgia Tech’s see how they are performing in class. aware of the dangers of milk may iam Caldwell. official three hour In- Acme is also set to have failed to alert residents of po- The poignant lyrics get to the troduction to Pro- be fixed to ensure that tential hazards. heart of the issue: ULC is where I gramming class, “CS shouldn’t be turnin, workon, and The Kroger on Howell Mill Road, a large role in the recent ULC sus- need to be, oh yeah, oh yeah, yeah Industrial Engineers getback work prop- a grocery store frequented by Tech pension. We are currently investi- baby, Ohhhhhhh, Give me a par-tee, will also no longer hard. I don’t erly and efficiently. students, will be increasing security gating ways to regulate milk use, in the ULC, baby yeah. be required to take know about other Instead of the stan- in the dairy case due to pressure possibly by increasing beer sales.” [Editor’s note: ULC 119 is where 1312. In the place dard one to two week from local authorities. Gregory Burdell has launched a it’s at.] of Java, grades will professors, but I period between as- now be based on how care, I really do.” signment turnins, ev- many levels and/or erything will be due areas a student can Prof. Greenleaf at the end of every clear various games CS Department month, a more fea- such as Quake, Star- sible time frame ac- craft, and WarCraft cording to professors. 2. However, the grades will also be Other new proposals for CS class- based 40% on the rigid time re- es will be announced as soon as the quirements. Basically this states the Georgia Tech Computer Science faster a student can clear a certain Department approves the new revi- part of a game, the higher their grade. sions. “I know this may seem tough,” One statement sums up the goal says Shaft, “but we have to have of the College of Computing re- some sort of standards. We are after garding these revisions. all, a highly reputable institute.” “We would NEVER make stu- The current proposals planned dents do things that are unneces- are updated to CS 2330 “Languag- sary and without reason or purpose. es and Translations.” This class We want our students to above all, will now offer lecture slides online be happy.” ATTENTION

To whom it may concern: The Technique is no longer going to accept advertising. We’ve had enough of having to write content to fill the space. We are going to give our ads reservationist a vacation and we are going to have 4 page paper for the rest of this year. The staff of the ‘nique is going to sleep, study, and maybe have fun. They are going to do all the stuff that they don’t have time for when we have giant papers: have a life. Thanks and have a nice day. Please call 404-894-2830 to place an ad.

The Teen Idol exposed! CAMPUS STRIFE Technique • Saturday, April 1, 2000 • 13 Campus thong Housing buys Westin for dorm Parking office builds new deck on campus By Posh and Ginger Spice Housing Department. Celebrity guests will still be wel- We’re making a comeback Students in the new apartments come in the hotel’s penthouse. Ex- The parking office recently announced plans to build a six level will enjoy 24 hour concierge ser- pected guests include Weird Al parking deck on campus. The new deck will be located where the on- We’ll tell you what we want, what vice, complimentary massages, un- Yankovich, Marilyn Manson, Julia campus bookstore once was located on the Skiles walkway. Applica- we really really want: Housing in a limited access to health club and Roberts, Pamela Lee, and the very tions for the new deck, which will be called Z07, are now available high-rise downtown flat. sauna, unlimited meal plans for Sun- anticipated Prince William. (You online. Shag me silly, but that’s what dial Dining Hall, tip-free room ser- know we think he’s sexy. Girl Pow- the Housing Department is pro- vice, and on-call housekeeping er!) Spring Break to begin in April this semester posing for next year. personnel to satisfy every housing Talking about Girl Power, fe- Plans to purchase the downtown requests. Personal limousine service male students are raving with ex- In lieu of the extensive length of this spring semester, Georgia Tech Westin, converting the hotel rooms will transport students to classes in citement. We hit the streets of North declared that finals will be canceled this semester. Instead April will be to luxury dorm apartments, is al- place of the Stinger busses. Limo Avenue to interview undergrads who declared Spring Break. They apologize for any inconveniences they ready underway. Sundial, the res- will soon be relocating to the Wes- may have caused. taurant at the top of the Westin, tin. will be converted into an exclusive “Like, I wonder if “The Housing department is fi- Loveline, Dr. Drew to come to Tech next week dining hall for residents and Club nally treating us like we deserve to TECHno, a closed party dance club room service will be treated. Rad,” said sophomore In an effort to help Tech men and women relations on campus, Dr. for Tech students. deliver strawberries Bilinda Henkle. “Limo service to Drew and his team from Loveline are coming to the Student Center “The idea here is to reward Tech class is a huge perk. Like, I wonder next week. The various topics will include “How to Talk to a Girl” and students for all of their hard work. and champagne on if room service will deliver straw- “Dating: Riding on MARTA doesn’t count.” Dr. Drew will also be Now, after only 45 hours, a student request?” berries and champagne on request, available throughout the week to help assist students and their various will be eligible to move into the or what. This is sooooo cool, like, questions. new Westin Apartments. Freshmen Bilinda Henkle you know?” For more information, visit http://www.techguysneedhelp.gatech.edu/ will now live in the West campus Sophomore Tech’s high speed computer net- speakers/dr_drew/index.html. apartment buildings, except, of work will be expanded into the course, the recently suspended Westin as well. Extra phone lines, Brittain Dining Hall win’s “Bon Apetit” Award ULC,” commented Housing Di- service will be expanded ito include moist towelettes, HBO and Show- rector Gimme Phish. a Buckhead Loop, Little Five Loop, time, along with extra long beds “Bon Apetit” magazine recently named Brittain Dining Hall among Another housing department Midtown Loop, and Highlands Loop will also be provided. the top five North American eating establishment. Congratulations to administrator said, “We are all about before the start of fall semester. “We don’t want anything pro- our fine dining facilities. making our students comfortable The new “Downtown Housing vided on campus not be provided at and being fair.” Office” will be established in com- Westin Apartments,” exclaims Ph- Technique going out of business sale starts today In a surprise announcement, ing weeks adjacent to the Hard Rock ish. “We understand students’ in- Due to insufficient funds and lack of staff memers, The Soused Housing declared just this week that Café downtown. Martha Stewart is dividual needs and are always there Libelous will cease production after this week. Computer equipment, the priority lottery numbers for up- anticipated as the new Coordinator for support and to answer any ques- including several Power Macintoshes and a Nikon digital camera, will per-classmen are actually the room of Downtown Housing. tions or concerns.” be auctioned to the highest bidder at 12:00 noon tomorrow. E-mail numbers of their new Westin Apart- She said in a recent interview “I “I personally am glad Housing is [email protected] for more information, or check ments. All students will therefore will provide all my residents with doing something right!” says super- out http://www.goingoutofbusiness.nique.net. Thanks for your sup- be guaranteed housing. Georgia Tech fresh sheets and towels from my K- HOT and shaggable CS major Gene port and readership over the years. Really, it means a lot. has also incorporated the Westin mart collection as a house-warming Maurice. “Everything’s finally work- Hotel’s full staff as employees of the gift next semester. I am so excited!” ing for us now.”

All Women’s Technique again! AND we get Ice Cream too! 14 • Saturday, April 1, 2000 • Technique CAMPUS STRIFE

ing them. puter, if they remember to tear them- trée a day to two, but we think it Food from page 11 FIC also plans to begin buying selves away and venture out to the will be worth it. We hope it will not “real” jar or canned spaghetti sauce. dining hall, we want them to have a cause any problems for the students more expensive to use real meat and be served every day for a month. Dandy feels that the students “just healthy alternative. So, we came up to learn how to select between the soy, but we think it is time Tech Fromb says, “I believe a week don’t like this just add water pow- with a low-fat, high carb diet. Of huge number of two choices. We students stop eating rubber. Unless straight is long enough for a student der sauce we use now. Maybe it is course, it is not limited to CS ma- think Tech students are up to the they enjoy it of course.” to be served the same dish.” just too hard to get it right, measur- jors, anyone can order the CS menu challenge.” Another aspect of the plan in- Fromb feels that it may actually ing water and all. We think jarred selection of the day.” The initiative still has to be ap- volves regulations on how many days cut down on the work for dining or canned sauce should help.” FIC member Patrick McSalrots proved. Bureaucracy may stall the in a row that the same exact food hall employees because if they peri- The Committee also came up is proud of the initiative’s goal of plan for a short while, but since this can be served. Fromb realizes that odically cook fresh dishes they will with the new CS major diet. Fromb doubling the entrée selection. plan will be moving at Tech speed, this means hiring more chefs since no longer have to scrape mold and feels that “with the amount of time McSaltros claims that “it may be students can start looking for it to the exact same food can no longer fungus off all the entrees before serv- they spend sitting behind their com- hard to go from producing one en- be implemented by Fall of 2025.

"I've got better things to do than argue with every wrong-headed crackpot with an ignorant opinion! CAMPUS STRIFE Technique • Saturday, April 1, 2000 • 15

No guys from page 11 other schools. “I was dating this 16 statements on newsgroups, and de- Genetic experiment gone terribly amok year-old from North Cobb High faced posters promoting the upcom- School for a little while, but I broke ing Men’s Leadership Conference. leads to squirrel rats terrorizing campus up with him because his parents When all else fails, however, many wouldn’t let him stay out past his students turn to alternative sources By Bobby Mountain been mingling with the rather large been limited to students that where curfew,” she said. “I am looking of entertainment and quit the search Multitalented Individual rat population, giving rise to hy- taking out trash that included one around, though. I met a guy from altogether. brid “skrats.” One source reports or more Papa John’s pizza boxes. Southern Tech the other day, and I Andrea Silverstein, a ChE soph- Atlanta animal control officials that these so called skrats have “They went strait for the garlic hear Emory’s got a few good men.” omore, says she relies on all-night are baffled by a recent flood of also been sighted in New York butter sauce” recalls Justin Dis- Unfortunately, the lack of di- Quake tournaments and Indigo Girls calls by Tech students reporting City’s Central park. ney, a 4th year Mechanical Engi- versity on campus has left a sour conventions to help pass her free having beefy, ill-tempered and Others have speculated that neering undergrad. He went on taste in many female students’ time. quite strange looking squirrels ac- the opening of the New Biotech- to say “They were truly vile mouths. “Who thought up this “Since I discovered Tori Amos cost them by a number of dump- nology building earlier this year things,.Sure they only wanted my Men’s Awareness Month? We’re all music and Ellen DeGeneres mov- sters on both East and West and the recent sightings of scrats garlic butter sauce today, but how aware that they’re not here,” added ies, who needs men?” says Silver- campus. Described as “long nosed, across campus is no coincidence. can we be sure they won’t thirst Ward. stein. with beady black eyes, grey fur One student, who asked his name for blood tomorrow? I feared for An unidentified female ARCH Although many women have and a particularly long bushy tail” not be released, pointed out that my life.” student admitted that the ratio had found alternatives to meeting men local officials are baffled by the “rats are so, like gross, why would The scrats have been last seen made her act irrationally at times. on campus, most seem to feel that reports, as there is currently no a cute fluffy squirrel get giggy with in sight of the cappuccino cart in “It drives me crazy. Sometimes I’ll there is only one solution to their record of any known animal in- a rat unless the Man was involved? the architecture building, and stu- get drunk and call my ex-boyfriends dilemma: recruiting more men. digenous to Georgia that would “Currently the biology department dents are cautioned to walk in at 2 a.m., just to annoy them. Do “I hope that the admissions of- fit the descriptions of eyewitness- denies any such animal experi- groups after dark, or least carry you know how long it’s been since fice understands that we need more es. This has lead some to conjec- mentation. copious amounts of garlic butter I’ve ‘gotten some?’” She also said men. We’re dying out here!” Rob- ture that campus squirrels have So far attacks seem to have sauce with them at all times. that she has placed many anti-male inson said.

“But it’s not funny...we want something funny.” YOURpage MOMMA 17 Technique • Saturday, April 1, 2000 • 17

RAT cap explosion Naked FBTF YOUR MOMMA From the runways of Paris to the Feel like there aren’t enough places to streets of Milan, RAT caps are what’s just get naked on campus? Festival in style this millenium. Page 21 2000 will change that! Page 23 Technique • Saturday, April 1, 2000 Pools, entertainment facilities to be installed in all dorms By the Brittain Beach Bum hard to be the residence hall on pool, as well as full sound sys- Harris pool regular campus selected to beta-test the tems to pump out music when- pool. It’s smashing, baby!” ever pool-goers desire. In a shocking but exciting The only real complaint was The popularity of the beta- turn of events, the Housing De- with regard to entertaiment. test pool brought even non-Harris partment announced last week “What fun is sitting in a swim- residents out of the woodwork. that by the beginning of sum- ming pool if there’s nothing there “I was over there scoping out mer semester, each dorm on cam- to keep you entertained?” said those scantily clad, hot Harris pus will be outfitted with a first-floor resident Paul Egas. “I chicks,” admitted Fourth Street swimming pool. Initial reaction want music, and lots of it!” resident Chris Baucom. from students has been extremely Former building resident If- Some students even expand- positive, as the idea of coming takhar Mohammed also added ed the idea. “I think we should home after a long day of class to input: “It might also be nice to cement the Burger Bowl and turn unwind by splashing happily have a place for a guy to grill a it into a giant lake, with paddle about becomes a reality. nice juicy steak. Swimming ain’t boats and everything,” said Bec- In order to test the feasabili- fun without some good eats.” ca Cutri-Kohart. ty and overall appeal of the idea, In response to these negative All in all, Housing’s pool plan Housing installed a small scale comments, Housing is working seems destined for overwhelm- version of the new dorm pool with SGA and RHA in an effort ing success. Future Harris resi- on the lawn adjacent to Harris to divert funds from the now- dent Joni Aiken said, “I look Hall last Thursday night. Pre- defunct Spring Concert to the forward to being able to take a liminary results indicate almost recently created Pool Entertain- dip between classes no matter 100% satisfaction from all stu- ment Fund. The money origi- where I am.” But perhaps no dents involved. nally intended to secure a great one related their feelings as elo- “I’m very excited,” said Leila musical act should be more than quently as Nick Downey, fear- By Sarah Graybeal / STUDENT PUBLICATIONS Tolle, vice president of Harris’ enough to purchase new grills less Harris Hall Council Harris residents show their satisfaction with the beta-test Housing swimming pool. Plans Hall Council. “We pushed very to be installed alongside each President: “Get wet or get out.” call for full-size pools to be installed next to each dorm by the beginning of summer. Band nominated for Grammy award, musicians cash in By the Trombone Correspondent blin’ Wreck, and a techno mix band after his. The man is an We slide where others finger of the Alma Mater has been on inspiration. He’s almost a god the underground British club in the music industry at this Where would Georgia Tech circuit for almost five weeks. point.” tradition find itself without such “This has all come as such a classic songs as “Ramblin’ Wreck” suprise,” Johnson told Technique and “Up with the White and “They have so staff. “I never imagined that we Gold?” These songs of the South- would become such a hit.” land are as deeply embedded in much the hot and Johnson is not the only band the lifestyle of Tech as are dreams sexy! No there are luminary who has become a big of growing up and planning to shot. The entire tuba section has steal the T. band geeks at the been released on pin-up posters. Therefore, it should come as Georgia Tech.” Girls across Europe and Canada no surprise that the Georgia Tech are raving for more releases. Ap- Yellow Jacket Marching Band European Band Fans pearances on the covers of sum- has been nominated for a Gram- Working on their English mer issues of Teen People and my Award. Their album, Game Cosmo Girl magazines have al- Day, has sold a record number ready been scheduled. of albums internationally. “Bucky” Johnson, director of Spokesperson for the tuba sec- The rendition of “She Blinded the bands, has quickly achieved tion, James “Happy” Froelich, Me With Science” has become celebrity status. said “There are plenty of us to By Daniel Uhlig / STUDENT PUBLICATIONS an overnight cult hit in Europe. “He is truly a man that we go around. We just want to make These band members may look calm and composed, but inside they’re ecstatic about Spanish university students have can all admire,” said Dave Mat- the Marching Band’s recent Grammy nomination. Their 15 minutes of fame are here! created their own lyrics to Ram- thews. “I wish I could model my See Band, page 21 98 Degrees will say “I do” to Tech women at fall concert By Michael Epstein problems faced this semester, they the freedom to choose between The Walter Winchell of the ‘Nique planned ahead. Surprisingly Weird Al Yankovic, 98 Degrees, enough, it turns out that the and Goo Goo Dolls. Without As you may or may not know, SRC turned right around and any further ado, the SRC has the Ad Hoc Student Retention used the money they obtained announced that 98 Degrees will Committee came to SGA and from SGA and RHA to send out perform at the Fall 2000 Con- RHA for quite a bit of money in bids to seven new acts in the cert. You may ask what the rea- order to put on a Spring Con- hope of getting an early start. soning behind this decision is, cert. The hopes were that the These seven acts are: Lauryn so we went to the committee concert would serve as an incen- Hill, Weird Al Yankovic, Lit, themselves. tive for students to stay at Tech. 98 Degrees, Limp Bizkit, the One committee member said: The Student Retention Com- Goo Goo Dolls, and Busta “We wanted a group that would mittee originally offered bids to Rhymes. Each of the bids was best cover the Georgia Tech stu- five top-notch acts: Third Eye sent out on Tuesday, March 14, dent body’s diverse musical tastes. Blind, LL Cool J, Live, Dave just after spring break. Answers 98 Degrees has a little of every- Matthews Band, and the Red were expected back by Friday, thing; they’re part rock, part r&b, Hot Chili Peppers. Unfortunate- April 6. With amazing speed, with a little soul, acapella, coun- ly, all five bands turned down responses have come back from try, and even a little punk.” the bids. But just because the all seven acts leading the SRC to So, there you have it. 98 De- concert won’t happen this se- give the Technique the exclusive grees will be the performer at mester doesn’t mean that the to who will be playing. the Fall 2000 Concert sponsored dream is dead. For starters, four groups by the SRC, SGA, and RHA. Be The SRC has already begun turned down the bids: Lauryn sure to grab your tickets when work on a concert to be held Hill, Lit, Busta Rhymes, and they go on sale this fall, they’re By Mark Fellman / NEW LINE CINEMA during the coming fall semes- Limp Bizkit. Though disappoint- sure to go fast. The concert is Think these women look crazy, running down the street decked out in wedding ter, and in order to avoid the ing, the SRC was still left with tentatively set for late October. gowns and carrying bouquets? Just wait until 98 Degrees comes to campus this fall! 18 • Saturday, April 1, 2000 • Technique YOUR MOMMA ...01010101010101010101010101010101010...... Two Bits

You know folks, despite how have a human female give birth to a formances of everyone in the mov- much good Two Bits does for the baby alien during the evening’s fes- ie. He noted that he would have world, there are still a few people tivities. welcomed Bening on stage with him, who think that Two Bits is a non- “We chose Annette Bening,” said but “she could barely crawl up the sensical piece of rubbish that could Rabezerquazitiin Quarlox, “because stairs, since she’s going into pro- better be replaced by some hard- she will most assuredly win the award duction soon,” referring to her late hitting journalism. for Best Actress in a Leading Role.” stage of pregnancy. Spacey’s con- Being that I try my best to please Convinced that American Beauty cern for co-star Bening prevented all people, I’ve decided to make this would score Bening an award, the her second opportunity to have the week’s a special edition dedicated thirty-five year old dignitary observed alien child on stage. to covering the news in the most that she would have the alien baby In a conference immediately fol- serious and unbiased manner that I lowing the Academy Awards, rep- can. In other words, I will write resentatives from both star systems with the same journalistic integrity met with a bevy of reporters, all of used in The Star as I bring to you a whom wanted to know why the true story from the Oscars. Kevin Spacey’s galaxy far, far away had failed to Extra! Extra! Read all about it! concern for co-star produce another Hollywood resi- Kevin Spacey and Hilary Swank dent, and what would become of Stop On-Stage Birth of Alien Baby! Annette Bening the life held within the actress. Quar- Every year at the Academy prevented her second lox responded that the baby within Awards, mutant aliens from a gal- Bening would be converted to a axy far, far away, release a new alien opportunity to have human child before the nearing birth into Hollywood. This time hon- the alien child on so as to keep the already-nosey neigh- ored tradition usually happens while bors at bay. they present the Thalberg Award. stage. In response to reporters’ asser- As the audience is lulled into obliv- tions that there would be no new ion by the tragically boring award, alien this year, interplanetary rep- they sneak a tuxedo-wearing alien on stage as she claimed the statuette resentatives stated, “It is the official By Francois Duhamel / COLUMBIA PICTURES into the back door. Certain govern- for her “stellar performance.” policy of the galaxy far, far away to If you thought Annette Bening looked rather large last weekend at the ment groups suspect that Rosie Unfortunately for the summit, bring one new alien to Hollywood Academy Awards, you were right—she was pregnant with an alien baby! O’Donnell and Keanu Reeves are Quarlox had underestimated the each year to maintain the casts of both from this galaxy far, far away. acting prowess of first-time nomi- Fox programs. As such, we will bring “as both a humanitarian effort and greatest gesture of kindness ever be- However, in an effort to boost nee Hilary Swank. As she took the a new one this year; since our chance as an issue of good public relations, stowed upon the town: He con- public relations between Earth and unexpected award, she left the gal- to emigrate an alien at the Oscars please do not eat french fries this sumed the somewhat-annoying the galaxy far, far away, ambassa- axy far, far away without the oppor- failed, we will send the alien in the year.” Hollywood pundit in a single bite, dors from both etherial planes an- tunity to provide an on-stage live form of a potato. We implore the After the moving anti-potato stepped into his flying saucer, looked nounced at a press conference birth. good people of Earth not to eat any speech, Joan Rivers caught a brief out the window, and loudly pro- Tuesday before the Academy Awards Later in the evening, another french fries this year until further interview with Quarlox. In the abrupt claimed, “Until I digest Mrs. Rivers that they wanted to modernize their opportunity presented itself—as notice.” discussion, Rivers asked, “What are and get enough energy for my four 2000 summit. Kevin Spacey received his Academy The President of the Hollywood you wearing? It’s fabulous!” o’clock tennis game, I am the alien In doing so, they would scrap award for Best Actor in a Leading Foreign Press Association reiterat- Rather than answering, the alien dignitary from a galaxy far, far away, the use of the Thalberg Award to Role, he observed how the award ed the wishes of the residents of the dignitary made what many Holly- and these are my generous offers to introduce a new alien, and instead was in a way reflective on the per- galaxy far, far away, requesting that wood insiders consider to be the your planet.” ATTENTION Today is dress like Chris Baucom day. Wear khakis, a lumberjack shirt, and brown shoes.

Oh me, oh my. Much laughter during this deadline. YOUR MOMMA Technique • Saturday, April 1, 2000 • 19

Band from page 17 RAT caps rise to fashion heights our fans happy.” have been offered modeling and act- By Yvette Vogue He quietly added as an aside: ing contracts, and even more of their Technique Fashion Editor “You don’t see the UGA (sic) Red ranks are using their celebrity to Coat Marching Band being nomi- support philanthropic causes. The new spring fashions are in, nated!” Percussionist Christine Felice will and all across Italy and France, one “They have so much the hot and be featured in a series of “Got Milk?” new accessory is paving the way to sexy! No there are band geeks at the ads to run on the international mag- greater heights of style. The hit ac- Georgia Tech. There are the beau- azine circuit beginning in late July, cessory of the coming season is nei- tiful men of the band,” was the gen- whereas twin clarinet players Megan ther the new faux fur sandals nor eral consensus of female students in and Jessica Kirk will begin an inter- the sparkly thong underwear as in- top European universities last week national tour in September, speak- dustry analysts had predicted, but (don’t mind their English). ing out against the use of land mines. rather the RAT cap. Band members are cashing in on Wesley Wakeman, Kristi Graves, RAT caps were first seen in the their fame while they can. Drum Ashley Prisant, Jennifer Hinkel, and opening shows in Milan. Versace majors Cristal Clark and Billy Bell Ashley Hilliard will tour next Spring opted to use the classic yellow in an have collaborated on a tell-all ex- with their new all-girl group, Band understated epitome of classic yet posé of their band experience enti- Spice. cutting edge fashion. Armani’s suave tled The Truth About Dwarfing. “We’re trying to take our leader- menswear edition sported black let- Other band members are lobbying ship in the band to the next level,” tering and a bold “AX” on the up- in congress to declare Game Day as said Wakeman in an exclusive Tech- turned brim. Valentino took a a national holiday. nique interview during a group photo different approach, glitzing tradi- By Josh Freeman / STUDENT PUBLICATIONS “I guess this means we’ll be stay- shoot for Detour last Monday. “The tion with thousands of miniature Though he’s only a lousy stinkin’ bulldog, even Uga keeps up with the ing in nicer hotels for pep band Grammy nomination has really rock- diamonds trimmed in gold for a fashion trends. If RAT caps are what Lassie is wearing, Uga will follow! trips,” said flute freshman Molly eted our ratings to the top,” com- sumptuous and stunning effect. Bikini. mented Hinkel as she posed for the In Paris, Gucci went for a stream- which is the experience of being a to a resurrection of the tradition on Baritone section leader Sam Chit- camera. The group is known for lined version: a bare, buff colored neophyte in any organization or campus has yet to be seen. wood has already signed a multi- their hot precision dance moves based RAT cap and a sheer and translu- place. The RAT experience is uni- “This fall, I’m expecting to see a million dollar deal with Miramax on traditional marching formations cent gold cape that called attention versal, and that is what I try to ex- complete RAT cap renaissance. Stu- to replace Keanu Reeves as the star and hilarious song lyrics. to the accessory of the new millen- press in my incarnation of the dents will be wearing them every- of the sequel to The Matrix. “It’s Music critics predict that these nium with the minimalist mantra accessory.” The Hilfiger RAT cap where, from football games to nights our section’s favorite movie,” he said women may be winning their sec- of noveau chic. Donna Karan paired will most likely be seen on shelves out in Buckhead,” said Billie Pendle- in an interview with Entertainment ond Grammy, not as members of a deep, saffron yellow cap that was in time for summer. ton-Parker, Assistant Director for Weekly. “We watch it all the time.” the Marching Band, but as a group much larger than life with coordi- “The beauty of the RAT cap is the Center of Fashion Enhancement Horn player Adam Agress has in their own right. nating miniature tube top and hot that it is part of a retro style that is at Georgia Tech. signed an endorsement contract with President Clough is thrilled that pants, sufficiently injecting the ac- very much becoming popular for Although many expensive and Oakley sunglasses to model their the music department has gained cessory with a sexy, svelte style. the current season. We’ve seen the glamorous editions of the cap have high-end eyewear. As part of his such a prestigious honor. “I fully Tommy Hilfiger deviated from return of the big white shirt, flat been seen, most campus fashion contract, Oakley has agreed to pro- support the Tech band, and I will the traditional yellow with a ver- front pants, and kitten heel shoes. analysts expect that if the RAT cap vide band-issue sunglasses to the be sure that the funding for the sion in a very Americanized red, The return of the RAT cap was only does become a fashion staple for entire band—more than 300 pairs. band quadruples in the next two white, and blue. “I was trying to get a matter of time for the fashion fall, it will most likely be in the “Hey, it’s all part of being famous, I years.” back to a very American tradition industry,” said the senior fashion classic and timeless Georgia Tech guess,” stated Agress. “I plan to milk with the RAT cap, and the Ameri- editor of Elle. gold, embellished only with a white it for all it’s worth.” The band will be featured next week can colors just emphasize the uni- Whether the advent of RAT cap “GT” and decorated with hand-writ- Various women in the Tech band on VH1’s Behind the Music. versal experience of being a RAT, resurgence on the runway will lead ten game scores.

Chris is my favorite white rapper. He is also our newly- appointed Technique editor for next year. Makes quite a resume, don’t you think?

I made a penguin. He is hanging from the ceiling here in the office. If you don’t believe me, come see for yourself. 20 • Saturday, April 1, 2000 • Technique YOUR MOMMA FBTF a chance to party in the buff By Englebert Humperdink However, there seems to be a tyrs, a third year ME student. Jay- Wearing a fig leaf certain condition for anyone antic- son, who has been a Chili Peppers ipating this year’s Festival. Both Blink fan for some time, thinks that this Those disappointed about the 182 and the Chili Peppers are known year’s festival will be one of the best cancellation of the spring concert for their atypical performance styles, ever. “I have no problems going can breathe a collective sigh of re- and that is where the condition lies. entirely nude to the concert. It’s in lief. This past Wednesday, Dina Hafe The Chili Peppers will be perform- May, it’ll probably be hot and hu- announced that Georgia Tech’s Con- ing wearing nothing but their trade- mid, and we’ll all be walking around cert Committee has secured not one, mark tube socks, while Blink 182 half-nude anyway. My biggest con- but two bands to perform at this will perform as they have appeared cern will be getting sunburned.” year’s Festival Behind the Fence. in their first two videos—stark na- The Student Center Festival Both Blink 182 and Red Hot Chili ked. The two bands have also stated Committee have scrapped the orig- Peppers have agreed to play at FBTF. that they will only play if the people inal plans for FBTF, now dubbed “I’m very ecstatic about this year’s attending appear the same way. “Festival 2000,” and have moved Festival. It came as a surprise to “It seems a bit strange, but we the tentative date to better coincide hear from a spokesman from both are willing to comply,” says Hafe. with the date Blink 182 is perform- bands. I’m still shocked, but we’re She has already taken steps with ing in Atlanta. The new Festival is already making preparations,” says SGA in acquiring a permit for a scheduled for Saturday, April 29, Hafe. She received the call from Iva public event such as the one im- and will consist of a new host of Bent, tour manager for Blink 182, plied. An SGA representative said activities, closely tailored to previ- earlier in March, saying that the that the school’s response “has been ous Woodstock activities. Hafe hopes band would be willing to add an- somewhat positive. The adminis- to be able to flood parts of the Burg- other venue to their tour in addi- tration seems to be in favor of this er Bowl to allow a mud mosh pit. If tion to the May 21 performance. event, but are wary of the possibili- the budget allows, there may be a According to Richard Gosin, man- ty of negative attention that this virtual gaming area, along with sev- ager for the Chili Peppers, “they year’s Festival could draw.” Gener- eral hose stations (much like the have been throwing around the no- al consensus is that if enough stu- cooling stations found at last June’s tion of doing a campus tour, and dents back the festival, the school 99X RockFest) to keep the concert- By Sarah Graybeal / STUDENT PUBLICATIONS this is a great opportunity to start will allow the concert to occur. goers cool or clean after the mud This hard-to-embarass Tech student should be excited to hear the news out on it.” “I’m all for it,” says Jayson Pat- moshing. that he can go to Festival 2000 dressed just as he is here—stark naked!

Join the technique. i’ll smile for you tuesdays. 7 p.m.

I hear that in the Cook Islands, you get stoned for being naked. Now that’s a real shame. 26 • Saturday, April 1, 2000 • Technique SPORTS The wait is over; Jenga is coming to Tech By Peerless the Cat ularity of the sport of Jenga. Each former Jenga star from Unadilla, has Jenga is his middle name and every February, 64 of the best already agreed to come aboard and college Jenga teams compete in a tour- be the coach of both the men’s and Jenga!! Jenga!! Jenga!! There are nament known as February Mad- women’s teams. no sweeter words to hear than those ness to determine the national “Having someone like Monalique for fans of the world's greatest sport. champion. This year's tournament as our coach will really help our pro- Jenga players across the country live saw a slew of upsets that destroyed gram establish itself,” stated Braine. for the moment when their oppo- most people's brackets as the Bar- “She is truly one of the great Jenga nent causes the stack of blocks to fall neyville Fighting Purple Dinasours, players of our time and has a lot of down, allowing them push their ad- a five seed, held off an eight seed, the insight she can offer our kids. Plus versary aside and yell that magical Chula Chalupas to win the title. just the aura of greatness she carries word, “Jenga!” It truly is a magical This year’s crazy tournaments gave will be invaluable to our team.” word whose use is starting to tran- hope to everybody that it is possible The Yellow Jackets will play a scend beyond merely the sport into for anybody to field a quality Jenga relatively soft schedule this season as everyday life itself. From bars to squad. As a result, Georgia Tech has they are newcomers to the sport and television broadcast booths, the word decided its time to embrace this fast- don't have a solid recruiting base yet. Jenga is becoming commonplace growing sport. Athletic Director Dave However, they do plan to upgrade across the globe as it can be used in Braine announced this past week that their schedule in the coming years, just about any setting. Georgia Tech will field both a men’s once the program is established. With By Monalique Mullins / GA TECH JENGA TEAM However, ultimately this word has and women’s Jenga team for the 2000- Monalique running the show, that Tech has finally decided to welcome the game of Jenga with open arms. taken off because of the sudden pop- 2001 season. Monalique Mullins, a should happen very soon. Coach Mullins will see to it that February Madness comes to campus.

It happened twice! Twice! SPORTS Technique • Saturday, April 1, 2000 • 27 WWF stars to take the field in gold as they make a run for the 2000 campaign By Big Monster tion we believe that we can provide that we want to be.” Step into it!!!!! these great athletes with a great ed- In conjunction with the educa- ucation that they assuredly lack, and tion movement for WWF stars, the Stunning breaking news from their athletic ability and intensity is cheerleading squad is now inundat- the Edge Center sent shockwaves ed with the WWF divas. across Tech campus as the entire The new players that have been football staff was fired and the World “All you pansies out brought to campus include the Rock, Wrestling Federation was hired to there in college football Cactus Jack, the Undertaker, Sgt. direct the football program. Most Slaughter, and the Big Show. The of the current players have been re- had better watch out .” Undertaker is expected to be the leased from their scholarships to make The Undertaker leader on the defensive front, and is room for the players that the WWF New Tech defensive standout looking forward to the opportunity entourage that is coming to the Flats to get an education. next season. “All you pansies out there in col- The majority of the former play- lege football had better watch out ers will transfer to Division I-AA second to none.” because I am gonna be droppin the schools so that they will not lose a WWF president Vince McMa- hammer on anyone who tries to year of eligibility. hon commented, “We wanted to mess with me. I also think that I will Georgia Tech athletic director appeal to a higher class crowd, and be a helluvan engineer.” Dave Braine made the surprise de- we thought that some higher edu- Some football purists have been By Josh Freeman / STUDENT PUBLICATIONS cision under serious scrutiny. Braine cation would help us become the This will be a familiar sight to Tech football fans this fall, when the commented, “At this great institu- world dominating wrestling league See WWF, page 30 revamped, WWF Jackets take the field. Minus the uniform, of course.

And Buffalo Creek. “I was looking forward to cheer- ing on Grant Field,” she sobbed. from page 31 from page 29 Horned Cocks Come September, it should be WWF interesting to see how the Jackets going to go out and give it my best “It’s a farce, if you ask me,” he out in protest against the WWF dorsement deal with Gillette has will match up against the Horned regime, holding candlelight vigils been signed because of the body shot against Tech.” scoffed. “Nutt is nothing. He only Cocks. It will be a marquee match- The Savannah Bananas, who al- wins because he cheats.” in front of the Heisman statue. “I hair shaving that will undoubtedly up and should draw a lot of press. In know that he [John Heisman] is occur. ways finish dead last in the EG-16 Bananas athletic director David fact Horned Cock merchandise will rolling over in his grave,” said Tech NCAA rulemakers are already standings, were also in contention Carl refused to comment on the soon be making its way to Atlanta. to play the Jackets this year, but the situation. Rumors have been circu- superfan Paul Oliver. rumored to be clamoring to make If you haven’t already seen the green The biggest change next year will new rules trying to curtail expected Horned Cocks were easily chosen lated that heated arguments have Horned Cocks shirts floating around over them. taken place between Nutt and Davis be the jerseys. The football team cheap shots and unorthodox tack- campus you will soon. It’s going to has decided to wear no equipment ling methods. Other teams in the Bananas new offensive coordi- over the Tech game, but nothing be a great game. HC4L!!! nator Mike Davis, who is well known official has been reported yet. or pads, except a jockstrap, and they ACC have already wet their prover- will paint their numbers on their bial pants in anticipation of the se- for his constant bickering with Coach Emily Downs, head cheerleader For more information about the famed Nutt during his time as a receivers from the Banana Splits, the team’s chest. Many things have been re- rious clobbering that they will have Horned Cocks, visit www. quested to be added to the Edge to endure this fall. Excitement for coach at Unadilla, was not at all famous cheerleading squad, was also hornedcocks.com. pleased with the decision. very disappointed in the ruling. center, including tanning beds and the Tech football team has never Do you really think this is funny? an anabolic steroid i.v. drip. An en- been this high.

Nextweek: allnude ‘nique

all the stories will be about nu- dity. the stories will be written in the nude. the pictures will be taken in the nude. the paper will be put together in the nude. all nude all the time.

Go for the moon... Jackets shun Hokies for Horned Cocks in BCA Classic By Gloria and Billy have a good team, but it's going to they have a great offense, and the 4.5 hours of power take a lot to beat them. I just hope defense seems much improved from that no one gets hurt.” last year,” he said. "The Yellow Jackets With spring practice in full swing, The Horned Cocks dwell in the are something else. We have to be the Jackets are hopeful about this tiny south Georgia town of Unadil- on our toes when we play them. fall’s campaign, even though they la, which lies about an hour north You have to know when to hold ‘em will be taking on the endeavor with- of Valdosta. Don’t think for a sec- with the Jackets, and know when to out 1999 Heisman trophy runner- ond that the team's surroundings, fold ‘em.” up Joe Hamilton. They are returning which consist of peanut fields (Un- Despite the Horned Cocks im- many strong players from last sea- adilla is, by the way, the nut capital pressive records from the past, they son, but the team knows that this of the world), have inhibited them are currently having problems within season will be a challenge. The chal- in any way. They have considerable the team with some of their key lenge just got tougher, following an depth, which will be threatening to players. It has been questioned wheth- announcement from Dave Braine's the Jackets. Their rise towards er or not quarterback Phil Ramos office on Wednesday. will start against the Jackets. He is Instead of playing Virginia Tech still serving suspension time from a in the first game of the season, the “The Yellow Jackets are curfew violation which took place Jackets will square off against the something else. We at the end of last season, and Coach treacherous Unadilla Horned Cocks. Nutt isn't at all pleased with him. The esteemed Horned Cocks com- have to be on our toes Apparently, there has always been pete in the very prestigious SG-75 when we play them.” tension between Nutt and Ramos. conference where they compete There have also been rumors about against national powerhouses like Houston Nutt Ramos skipping a practice session the Macon Bacon and the Barneyville Horned Cocks Head Coach to take part in a "Power Hour" com- Fighting Purple Dinasours. The petition which Nutt is furious about. Horned Cocks have recently sup- “There's always something with planted the Macon Bacon as the promience in 1998 was quite sur- Ramos, and I'm sick of it. From SG-75's premier team as they have prising and many thought they would now on, when he acts up, he's not captured the conference crown in struggle with the departure of the going to start. I’m not going to put each of the last two seasons. Their graduating Peerless. However, they up with his crap anymore,” snapped remarkable rise from the bottom to stormed back to win the conference Nutt, when questioned about his the top can be traced to the arrival again in 1999 as Plaxico Burress quarterback. of flambouyant coach Houston Nutt stepped in to replace Peerless. He Nutt hasn’t officially crossed and the play of wide receiver Peer- will be gone this year, but Nutt has Ramos' name off of the roster yet, less Price, considered to be the best brought in another stellar recruit- so for now, it seems that he will player in the history of the SG-75. ing class. start. “Wow. I wasn’t expecting this Nutt was very pleased to hear “Coach Nutt is known for giv- to happen,” said Tech head coach the announcement that the Cocks ing people second chances, and that’s George O’Leary. “Playing the would be meeting the Jackets. all I’m asking for,” said Ramos. “I’m By John Orefice / HORNED COCK SPORTS INFORMATION Horned Cocks is going to be tough “This is a team that I think we Despite rumors that he won’t be starting against Tech, Horned Cock on us. I’m not saying that we don't can beat. It will be tough, because See Horned Cocks, page 30 quarterback Phil Ramos has spent hours powering up for the contest. Tennis Check out our Nationally Ranked Men’s and Women’s Tennis Teams as they prepare to Challenge for the ACC Title!! Men Upcoming Matches Women Virginia.....4/1...Sat...12:30 p.m. Virginia.....4/1...Sat...10:30 a.m. Miami...... 4/15...Sat...1:00 p.m. Maryland...4/2...Sun..11:00 a.m. FSU...... 4/16...Sun..1:00 p.m. Clemson....4/15..Sat...10:00 a.m. Virginia Match Promotions T-Shirts to 1st 50 Free Pizza (Served at Noon) Serve Contest & Baseline Contest Plus Many More Promotions and Give-Aways

Merry Christmas, Phil. I never liked you, but congratulations anyway. page 32

Jenga!!! More wrestling... DEPORTES Tech finally receives a high- Tech basketball isn’t the only ranked Jenga team. thing going WWF. Da ’Nique • Saturday, April 1, 2000 Page 27 Page 29 Tech fans, players shocked by new coach By Krindy spect in college basketball, not Coach Cremins’ lively coaching Making krindage to mention the ACC, when their style when he announced his re- coach makes them sprint out tirement last month. Apparent- With the ACC Tournament onto the court for every game, ly, Tech wanted to remedy the ending less than a month ago, growling and spitting? I can’t situation. Tech supporters everywhere were believe this.” Rocker, who, according to shocked to hear the news that Braine rationalized the deci- sources, has opted to clear his was passed down from Dave sion. According to him, the move mind by going on a month-long Braine’s office yesterday. The was “the perfect deal.” hunting excursion, was unavail- Athletic Association has wasted The Braves were trying desper- able for comment. no time in finding a replace- ately to get rid of the mouthy In his discussions with mem- ment for Yellow Jacket legacy closer, and the Jackets were in a bers of the GTAA, Rocker ex- Bobby Cremins, and a new coach frantic search for a new coach. pressed a desire to “spice up” the has already been announced. basketball team next year by giv- “We are pleased to announce ing it a WWF feel. that John Rocker will be com- “We didn’t want to The GTAA, in its actions over ing on to serve as head basket- replace Bobby with the past few weeks, has reflected ball coach for the Yellow Jacket a desire to liven up Tech sports. program next season,” said ath- someone A chunk of the football team letic director Dave Braine, in a lackluster...Rocker is has been replaced with wrestlers, press conference that took place too. (See the story on page 29.) via satellite. definitely animated.” “Things have gotten entirely The reaction from fans, team Dave Braine too boring around here lately,” members, and other members Tech Athletic Director said Braine. “We wanted to do of the coaching staff can be de- something about the conserva- scribed in one word—bewilder- tive nature of Tech sports. The ment. Current team members fans will like our new image a lot refused to comment. They were “We didn’t want to replace more than our old one; I’m will- obviously traumatized by the Bobby with someone lacklus- ing to guarantee it.” announcement, and could not ter; we wanted someone animat- The Rambling Wreck Club muster words in response. ed,” reasoned Braine. “Rocker has also reacted to the announce- Former standout Stephon is definitely animated. It worked ment of the new coach. They Marbury was available for com- out perfectly for everyone, if you have been collecting crates of ment, and was just as startled as ask me. The Braves needed to batteries, so that they can be By Dale Russell / STUDENT PUBLICATIONS everyone else. get rid of him, and we needed a passed out at basketball games Most Yellow Jacket team members were appalled to hear that John Rocker would “This is just horrible; abso- coach.” next season. If you would like to be stepping in to replace Coach Cremins, and are expecting many changes. lutely ridiculous,” said Marbury. Fans and players everywhere make a donation (no size Ds, “How can a team gain any re- spoke of how they would miss please), visit the ticket window.

Thicket Buthth Tragic accident leaves Tech mascotless

By Little Monster to follow would prove that as- Okay, let’s get a few things It’s hard work... sumption wrong. straight. I’m sure you’re won- In a state of delirium, Buzz dering why Thicket Buthth is Last weekend was a tragic one insisted on doing push-ups ev- back, right? As you probably for those who love and admire erytime the Jackets scored a run, Tech’s cuddly mascot. During a matching his football antics. know, I’m not in college any- freak incident at a baseball game However, tragedy struck late in more, and don’t want to behave against the University of Geor- the sixth inning, when the Jack- as such, so I stopped writing Ticket gia on Sunday, Buzz lost his life, ets pounded the Bulldogs and Buzz long ago. However, for this leaving millions of Tech fans ev- plated their 32nd run of the game. erywhere in shock and in mourn- In the process of attempting his special, special issue, I’ve decid- ing. 28th push-up, Buzz collapsed, ed to go out of my way and drag “This is a sad, sad day for and became unconscious, never myself away from “The Sopra- Georgia Tech,” said President to awaken again. The stands grew nos,” (the best show on earth; I Wayne Clough. silent, and According to the game was highly recommend it) to enter- witnesses, the “This is a sad, sad called. tain you. Plus, I thought that accident oc- day for Georgia An autop- making a comeback would help curred when Tech.” sy revealed out the lowly (low to the ground, Buzz was spirit- that Buzz ha!) sports editor, who is a STAC ed and adventur- Wayne Clough died from a ous, as he usually Tech President malfunction major and will soon be living in is. It all started with his poverty. when the famed stinger, mascot was which was Let me remind you that the search dancing wildly in the stands along apparently damaged during his the first base side of Russ Chan- collapse earlier in the game, fol- for a basketball coach is ongo- dler Stadium. Because he was lowing the foul ball episode. ing. I know someone who is qual- facing the fans and not paying Buzz’s family is pursuing a law- ified. Solve this riddle to figure attention to the game, he was suit against the outfielder who out who he is, and put in a good hit in the head with a foul ball hit the foul ball, but there is no By Daniel Uhlig / STUDENT PUBLICATIONS that came off the bat of a Geor- official information on the sub- Buzz left the world by doing what he always did best for Tech word for him: “The short rat gia outfielder. ject yet. fans—providing laughter during athletic events. He will be missed. masters the web and tattoo art.”He Yellow Jacket team trainers “I shouldn’t have let him do has great insight; don’t forget it. rushed to the mascot’s side im- those push-ups,” said the Tech source of fun and laughs. Tech officials hope to find a mediately, just as he passed out, trainer who attended Buzz after The school does not plan on replacement for Buzz by the be- sinking into the lap of one of the he was hit by the ball. “Anyone replacing the beloved mascot with ginning of the football season. Oh, before I go, remember to fans. He was soon revived when with any shred of common sense another Yellow Jacket. They have already started inter- check out the Tech Jenga team he was fanned with floppy hats, could have been able to tell that “Buzz holds a special place in viewing candidates. The Taco this weekend. The first 300 fans and resiliently sprung up from he wasn’t acting normally at that all of our hearts. I don’t see how Bell dog, Blarney a purple, irish will get a GT-engraved block. the lap of the observer. He indi- point.” another Yellow Jacket could come dinosaur and Scruffles, a large cated to everyone around him Tech will certainly miss Buzz’s close to that, at this point,” said white lab rat, are among the can- that he was fine, but the events antics at games. He was always a Clough. didates being interviewed. Friday,THE March REAL STUFF 31, 2000 Technique • Friday, March 31, 2000 • A1

Complete Student Baseball team rides three game TECHNIQUE Government Association winning streak into Raleigh “The South’s Liveliest College Newspaper” election results. against NC State. ONLINE http://cyberbuzz.gatech.edu/technique REAL NEWS page 2 REAL SPORTS page 4 Serving Georgia Tech since 1911 • Volume 85, Issue 26a • 4 pages This is the real stuff, so believe what’s in these four pages. You can take your chances on the rest.

SGA Run-off Election High turnout marks elections The Undergraduate Presidential By Matt Gray tion process, since no one candi- today, with the voting ending at Assistant News Editor date for President received 50% of 5pm, and results available on the Run-off between Matt Mason and the vote, only the top two candi- SGA website at 6pm. Both candi- The results of last week’s SGA dates proceed to the run-off, which dates hope that the turnout for the J.R. Spriggle ends today at 5 p.m. elections have been announced, with does not include Stopp. run-off will exceed that of the gen- a run-off for UHR President be- “I had a great time during the eral election. Vote online at elections.gatech.edu. tween J.R. Spriggle and Matt Ma- campaign period,” said Stopp. “I’m “Win or lose, I hope that we son to take place. While the obviously pretty disappointed that have an even higher turnout this announcement has not been made I lost, but I truly hope that no mat- time around,” said Spriggle. as to who won the GSS Presidency, ter who wins, SGA will do a lot for All three of the original candi- Young entrepreneur donates $15 David Moeller was elected as UHR the student body in the next year. I dates hope to work together after Vice President, with over 3000 stu- especially enjoyed running the Stopp the election. “Dave Stopp and J.R. million to College of Computing dents voting. and Go taxi service. It allowed me are both extremely qualified candi- Dale Russell will serve as Presi- to meet so many people and get dates,” said Mason. “I only hope By Jennifer Dykes said Elizabeth Campbell, Tech dent of the senior class, Scotty Crowe such a wide variety of campus per- that all three of us will continue to News Editor spokeswoman. for the junior class, Tiffany Massey spectives.” work for students regardless of who The plans call for a $50 million for the sophomore class, and Alissa Since leaving the race, Stopp has gets elected.” Twenty-six year old Christopher dollar building and design will start Aiken for the freshman class. given his endorsement to Mason. “I The winners of other races were Klaus donated 15 million dollars to later this year, with construction “30% voter turnout is the high- have spoken with both Matt and eager to start. “I am extremely ex- Tech to help build an advanced com- beginning in next year. est of any major university in the J.R., and although I feel I could cited about being elected junior class puting complex to be named after Klaus does not meet the profile country, and I think it speaks to the work well with either candidate, it President and continuing my time him. The donation, the fifth-larg- of the typical donor, who is usually desire of the student body to take a is my opinion that I would best be in the Undergraduate House of Rep- est in Tech history, is pending ap- a man over 65 and thinking about a more active role in the issues that able to accomplish my goals for Tech resentatives,” said Crowe. “I have proval by the Board of Regents. legacy to leave behind. affect students all over campus,” said within the framework of Matt’s lead- several ideas for the upcoming year, Klaus made money in his start- While Klaus did not receive his Kevin Stogner, Chairman of the ership,” said Stopp. “It is for this many of which pertain to SGA con- up company Internet Security Sys- degree while at Tech, he is a free Elections Committee. reason that I am supporting Matt tinuing to bond closer to every stu- tems, ISS. It is now worth $5.1 part-time instructor for the College In the race for President, Mason Mason’s bid for the presidency.” dent on campus and truly billion. of Computing. received 36% of the vote, Spriggle Moeller won his for Vice Presi- representing its constituents.” The company sells software aimed “I’ve always been a big believer earned 35%, and David Stopp re- dent, defeating Johnny Jones. “I The Elections Committee was at protecting networks from intrud- in education as a driver in helping ceived 29%. am very excited about the prospect happy with the way the vote was ers. The company works for 21 of the economy and helping society as “I’ve learned during the cam- of serving the student body in the handled this year. “The elections the 25 largest US commercial banks, a whole,” Klaus said. paign that Tech students really care,” capacity of student government Vice were very successful; the entire Elec- several large telecommunications Other top donations in Tech his- said Mason. “As much as we com- President,” said Moeller. “I feel that tions Committee is to be commended companies, and dozens of govern- tory include over $25 million from plain about things like parking, when a large portion of campus is con- for the countless hours they spent ment agencies, including the Pen- Lettie Pate Evens and similar it comes down to it, students vote cerned about my platforms, prima- rewriting the Elections Code to make tagon. amounts from George W. and Irene because they care about Tech’s fu- rily restoring a voice to the students, it more clear and concise, building He left Tech before receiving his K. Woodruff, and Mrs. Lee Can- ture.” and I see the voting as reflective of relationships with OIT, and inter- degree in the mid 1990’s to focus dler. Candler’s donation to the Ath- Said Spriggle, “I used to think this. I also want to make sure I ad- acting with candidates as needed to on the company, which he started letic Association came in the past that by being in SGA I knew a lot of dress the issues Johnny ran on, mainly make sure that everyone had their in his dorm room. year. These gifts were mostly from students on campus, but by cam- recruitment of non-engineering ma- respective questions answered,” said The donation is “the largest sin- their estates, according to Camp- paigning, I’ve met so many new jors.” Stogner. gle outright gift while living that bell. Thomas Dupree, Jr. has also people.” The run-off for President is the Georgia Tech has ever received,” pledged over $25 million. Through the rules of the elec- only election that is taking place See full results on page 2 Undergraduate representatives support bookstore move to Fifth Street By Matt Gray tail establishments as well, includ- Despite the decision, the move Assistant News Editor ing a restaurant. This is not an off is still a ways from actually occur- campus destination, it is an exten- ring. “The Bookstore move is quite At last week’s meeting, SGA came sion of our campus, as it was ex- controversial and the move is far out in favor of supporting the pro- tended in the recent past when all of from being over,” said Popick. “There posed move of the bookstore to a the west campus apartments were are still pertinent issues being de- location on Fifth Street. If the relo- built.” bated in SGA in these closing ses- cation occurs, the bookstore would Meyers added, “Eventually, the sions.” move to Fifth Street along with a area will become a thriving dining/ In addition to the argument over number of additions to the area, retail area where Georgia Tech and whether or not the move should and could possibly be taken over by midtown merge into a “College take place, a second argument is a national retail company. Town” atmosphere. We believe the dealing with what should happen The proposed move has been relocation will be a winning move to the freed-up space if the move very controversial, with a number for everyone.” does occur. So far, most of the dis- of students opposing the idea. How- Several members of SGA are still cussion has revolved around office ever, SGA’s support helps bring the concerned over the possibility of space for organizations and extend- project one step closer to becoming the privatization of the Bookstore, ing the Student Center. reality. which could cause the prices of text- “The relocation will also release “Georgia Tech is growing,” said books to rise. the current bookstore space for a Rosalind Meyers, Vice President of “It has been the fear of some of much needed expansion of the Stu- Auxiliary Services. “The Master Plan us that students will be hurt by priva- dent Center,” said Meyers. “Our envisioned Tech expanding beyond tizing the Bookstore, as it appears Student Center, which was construct- its current boundaries. The 5th Street would be the case if the Bookstore ed in 1975, is now almost 30 years Project is part of Tech’s planed moves,” said Stephen Popick, an old and was designed to serve a stu- growth. The project is much more Economics representative. “The dent population of 8,000. We now than a bookstore. It will be a com- Bookstore should move and remain have 14,000 students at Tech.” plex composed of a hotel of over ‘the Georgia Tech Bookstore,’ not For the most part, supporters 200 rooms, a 1000 car parking deck, ‘Barnes and Noble with GT Text- look at the move as a way to develop a continuing education building, books.’ SGA should step up and Midtown and add a college feel to an executive conference center, a represent the students by ensuring the area. new college of management build- that textbook prices are protected. “It is safe to say that by the end ing and several retail stores. The As Georgia Tech students, we have of this decade, Georgia Tech will be Courtesy of The Office of the President retail will have the Bookstore as its more important things to worry nested in a much safer and social This is what the Bookstore is planned to look like should the relocation to anchor store, with some smaller re- about.” atmosphere,” said Popick. Fifth street occur. SGA’s support brings it one step closer to happening. A2 • Friday, March 31, 2000 • Technique THE REAL STUFF

Results SGA elections

Undergraduates AE David Brown OPINIONS Christopher Matson Marty Hinson President- RUN-OFF Technique • Friday, March 31, 2000 Matt Mason Architecture INTA J.R. Spriggle Matt Steele Erhan Yilmaz Vice President Coleman Watson OUR VIEWS Consensus Opinion David Moeller Management Biology Allan Coye Freshman Rep Trey Haunson Kevin Sparger UHR Irresponsible Alissa Aiken-President Amelia Dean CHE ME Julie Johnson Aaron Schueneman Kimberly Spuller UHR’s decision to endorse the bookstore move to 5th St. Dusty Riddle Sean Stephansson was completely irresponsible. The representatives should make Nate Watson Physics CS Robert S. Fletcher an attempt to represent the opinions of students, who clearly Sophomore Rep Eric Moore oppose the move. Instead, UHR chose to endorse the move Christian Ashlock Charles West STAC Quincey Kyles Joey Katzen without making more than a token effort to contact their Tiffany Massey- President ECE (EE & CMPE) constituents. Clay Scroggins Robert Kischuk Textile Craig Tommasello Brian Lasseter Nicole Howard UHR has delusions of grandeur about the possibility of Andrew Nalven turning the current bookstore space into study rooms and Junior Rep Luis G. Salas Scotty Crowe- President Eric Woods student organizations’ offices. If UHR was far-sighted enough R. Jason Fowler to wait a few more years for the planned Undergraduate Scott Gaskill HTS Craig Hoover Candace Swint Graduates Living Center, we would have the best of all possible worlds by Aubrey Smith keeping our centralized bookstore and also the benefits of the Economics President Senior Rep Stephen Popick Not yet announced Undergraduate Living Center. Monali Desai UHR is shirking their obligation to the students by jump- Kim Gran IE Vice-President ing on the bandwagon of moving the bookstore. Let’s just Dale Russell- President Neal Belcher Matt Kaufman hope that the administration does not mistake the UHR resolution for student approval of the bookstore move. College Republicans offensive, disrespectful to guest speaker I recently attended the talk giv- akin to, “We know you support I’m glad the Republicans want Editorial Board: en by Dr. Elders—the keystone event condoms in school to decrease teen- to promote intellectual diversity. of Women’s Awareness Month. age pregnancy, do you also support I think that their tone reflected Adam Toner, Editor I was amused to see the Campus necrophelia and bestiality as pre- poorly on our campus and certainly Republicans handing out flyers dis- ventative measures?” reflected poorly on their organiza- Jennifer Dykes, News Editor cussing Dr. Elder’s position on con- The tone of disrespect contin- tion. Becca Cutri-Kohart, Opinions Editor traceptives and education. ued as another member of the party The fundamental part of shar- Chris Baucom, Campus Life Editor I think it’s great that they used attempted to engage Dr. Elders in ing one’s views is respecting some- Sarah Graybeal, Entertainment Editor their symposium last weekend as a debate during a question and an- one else’s opinions. Mindy Wiggins, Sports Editor springboard to start discussing their swer session. They may have been offended Matt Bryan, Managing Editor views on campus. When asked to relinquish the by Dr. Elders, and even by her re- Matt Flagg, Online Editor However, I was mortified when microphone so others could ask sponses to their questions, but this Christina Freyman, Advertising Manager at the end of Dr. Elder’s lecture, the questions, the young man charged is no excuse for disrespect, especial- Dale Russell, Photography Editor group of protesters began to behave “suppression” and asked if his “con- ly when they carry the reputation of in a manner that showed utter dis- servative message was really that Georgia Tech and Women’s Aware- Consensus editorials reflect the majority opinion respect for Dr. Elders and the orga- dangerous.” ness Month on their shoulders. nizers of Women’s Awareness Month To me, the comments sounded of the Editorial Board of The Technique, but not events. like a tagline from their recent con- Jana Scott necessarily the opinions of individual editors. The first comment made was ference. [email protected]

Only then will you find that money cannot be eaten -Cree Prophesy THE REAL STUFF Technique • Friday, March 31, 2000 • A3

Want some REAL live music? Dogwood Festival arrives next week By Alan Back 7:15 p.m. each night. charge of booking acts, a job she COTTON CLUB (152 Luckie St.) (404) 233-7699 Doesn’t joke around with the news New additions for 2000 include first took on in 1994 and has held (404) 874-1993 3/31—Derek Trucks Band, Susan demonstrations of electric vehicles every year since 1996. 4/1—Doubledrive, Stereo Mud, Tedeschi Spring is here again, and you’re donated by Georgia Power and a “It’s like Wheel of Fortune—spin Darling Machine 4/1—No Doubt, Suicide Machines 4/6—JGB, Suicide Kings 4/7—Blueground Undergrass, Vassar probably begging for some excuse full-fledged exhibit by the Magic it and see what comes up,” she said, 4/7—Paydirt, Audiobridge, Blame, Clements, Good Medicine to shovel that festering pile of un- Garden Program. This organization explaining the varied submissions Hundred Dollar Day Web site: www.consopro.com/ finished homework into the nearest works to improve Atlanta’s elemen- she receives. Web site: www.consopro.com/ roxy_body.cfm desk drawer and go have some fun. tary schools by setting up outdoor She fields questions from roughly cclub_body.cfm Next weekend will give you the per- learning areas and teaching children 400 bands every year, some from as SMITH’S OLDE BAR (1574 Piedmont Ave.) fect out: the 2000 Atlanta Dog- about the environment. Cash do- far away as France and Russia. DARK HORSE TAVERN (404) 875-1522 wood Festival. nations and money from food/bev- “I could go on and on about the (816 N. Highland Ave.) 3/31—Bloodkin, Everyday People Piedmont Park will become the erage sales will go to the program. acts that are playing that I think are (404) 873-3607 4/1—Seely, Lift, STB 3/31—Stewart and Winfield, Adam 4/2—Howard Shaft site of countless acts of wanton out- One special feature is Bank of ‘big,’” Aiken commented. She point- Payne Band, Jason Marcum Band 4/3—Evenfall, Kathy Fly, Something 5 door enjoyment, open from noon America’s Down Under Tour, a trav- ed to Reed, Hampton, and David 4/6—Monochrome, Soulspeak, Sonia 4/4—Heritage Cherry, Uncle Lightnin’ to 8 p.m. on April 7, 10 a.m. to 8 eling exhibit designed to teach visi- Ryan Harris as a few of the best- Tetlow Band 4/5—Snake Oil Medicine Show, p.m. on April 8, and noon to 7 p.m. tors about Australia and the Sydney known local performers, Clements 4/7—Elephant, Crave, HAL 9000 Velvet Hammer Admission is free. Olympics. and Billy Joe Shaver as acts with 4/6—Push Stars, Collapsis, Lester’s Farm Businessman Walter Rich start- Julie Johnston, Event Coordi- name recognition on a wider scale. ECHO LOUNGE (551 Flat Shoals Ave.) 4/7—Tommy Thompson, Big Sky, ed the Festival in 1936 as a celebra- nator for the Dogwood Festival, Big or small, though, the bands that (404) 681-3600 Turnstyle tion of springtime in the South. In pointed out, “There will be an am- play each year have one thing in 3/31—Myssouri, The Changelings, Web site: dev.cln.com/mall/smiths recent years, the event’s scope has phitheater, and around it will be common: “There are no amateurs Spectralux 4/1—Stagger Lee, Truckadelic STAR BAR (437 Moreland Ave.) grown to include environmental several different pods…One pod will here; these are vary well-liked and 4/6—Sean Nana, Holy Childhood, (404) 681-9018 improvement through education, be a 10-foot-high rock climbing well-seasoned performers.” Mindseye 3/31—Subsonics, DQE, Jo Jo the community work, and donations. wall—there will be folks showing Now, how to get to the scene of 4/7—Lizardmen, Cherry Valence, Monkey Boy This year’s corporate sponsors how Olympic athletes climb the wall, all this brouhaha? A shuttle bus will Candy Lions 4/1—Blacktop Rockets, Ditchdiggers include Coca-Cola, Heineken, Geor- things like that.” run between the Arts Center MAR- Web site: www.echostatic.com/ 4/2—The Comas gia Power, Mercury Mountaineer, Last but not least: the live music. TA station and Piedmont Park all echolounge 4/5—X-Impossibles, Catfight!, King and the Georgia Lottery. Bands from all over the South (and day Saturday and Sunday. Consid- Lear Jet Over 200 artisans will be on hand a few from elsewhere) will play on ering the size of past crowds (200,000 EDDIE’S ATTIC (515-B N. McDonough St.) 4/6—Hifi and the Roadburners, Cave all weekend long to display their three stages, starting at noon Satur- to 250,000 for the 1999 Festival, (404) 377-4976 Cat Sammy 3/31—Billy Pilgrim, Right As Rain Web site: www.cloun.com/starbar.html wares—photography, jewelry, paint- day and Sunday. Headliners include by Johnston’s estimate), driving in 4/1—Jennifer Nettles ing, pottery, mechanized creations, Col. Bruce Hampton and the Code might not be the smartest idea in 4/2—The Kennedys, Small Potatoes, TABERNACLE (152 Luckie St.) and just about anything else you Talkers, Francine Reed, Pierce Pet- the world; drop a couple of bucks Cowboy Envy (404) 659-9022 can think of. Acclaimed folk artist tis, and Mandorico. Georgia Tech and take advantage of our lovely 4/4—Newton Smith 4/6—Third Eye Blind, Tonic Rev. Howard Finster will come in will also be represented; the Jazz mass transit system instead. 4/5—Kristen Hall, Rick Taylor, Andrew 4/7—Galactic all day Saturday as well. Ensemble is slated for Sunday at 2 Let’s review. Free outdoor activ- Hyra, Kristian Bush Web site: www.tabernaclemusic.com Scope out the canine Frisbee con- p.m. ities? Check. Environmental aware- 4/6—Don Conoscenti tests (noon-5 p.m. Saturday and A kickoff party will be held at ness? Check. Edible stuff and lots of 4/7—Ben Wakeman, Eva James, VARIETY PLAYHOUSE Sunday), or turn the two-legged crit- the Roxy (3110 Roswell Rd.) at 8:30 it? Check. Live music? Check. The Jennifer Daniels, Dave Sutherland (1099 Euclid Ave.) Web site: www.eddiesattic.com (404) 521-1786 ters loose in the children’s area, fea- p.m. on Friday, with Blueground parts are all here, so go outside and 4/1 and 4/2—Jerry Jam 2000 turing crafts, contests, and a few Undergrass, Vassar Clements, and play. MASQUERADE (695 North Ave.) 4/6—Lucky Dube surprise guests. Visit the Eco-Vil- Good Medicine performing. Tick- (404) 577-2007 4/7—Joan Baez lage to learn a few new tricks for ets are $15 in advance, $20 at the For more information on the Atlanta 3/31—Methods of Mayhem, Crazy Town Web site: www.variety-playhouse.com being nice to the planet, gain some door, with proceeds benefiting the Dogwood Festival, visit its Web site: 4/1—Main Street Saints, A Global altitude on the 24-foot rock climb- Magic Garden Program. www.dogwood.org. Call (404) 233- Threat, Brass Knucke Boys, The Check out the Tourdates Web site ing wall, and stick around to watch Dogwood Festival Entertainment 7699 to buy tickets for the April 7 Neglected (www.tourdates.comwww.tourdates.com) to see where your the hot-air balloon exhibitions at Coordinator Caroline Aiken is in kickoff party at the Roxy. 4/5—Agnostic Front, Anti-Heros favorite bands will be appearing next. 4/7—Dog Fashion Disco, Caustic Some of these names may sound a little Thought, Beorscipe, Icepick funny, but the listings are 100% genuine. Web site: www.masq.com ROXY (3110 Roswell Rd.) These four pages consist of factual news. The other 32 do not.

I’m a busy man! I say, either agree with me or take a hike! I'm right, period! End of discussion! - Calvin A4 • Friday, March 31, 2000 • Technique THEpage REAL A4STUFF

Dogwood Festival April Fools SPORTS Alan Back previews the annual Football’s season opener Peidmon Park gathering. against Virginia Tech changed. Technique • Friday, March 31, 2000 Page A3 Page 31 Beesball ends week by pouring on the runs By Seth Andrews scoring two runs off four consecu- on an RBI from Lewis. Again, Tech Totally Clueless tive two out hits. Both Duke and was unsuccessful coming back in Tech scored runs in their respective the ninth inning, squandering a two The Tech baseball team contin- halves of the eight inning, setting on and one out opportunity. Asham- ued its march through the season up the controversial ending to the edly, the Blue Devils took two of this past week, and met some bumps game. three in the series to improve their on the road on the way. In the bottom of the ninth Tech record to 11-20 and 2-4 in the Last Friday Tech won its ninth tried to mount a comeback. Lewis ACC. straight against the Duke Blue Devils hit an infield single and Teixeira The Jackets tried to rebound as 14-1. Tech was powered offensive- walked, and then were adveanced Charleston Southern came to town ly by the round tripper, as eight of to second and third on a sacrifice for a two game series. In the opener their fourteen runs came off home bunt. Goffena was intentionally on Tuesday, the Jackets broke their runs. Junior Cory Vance improved walked, bringing the Basil to the two game losing streak by a 6-3 to 5-1 by pitching seven innings plate. Basil then grounded into a margin. All-American Mark Teix- and allowing only a solo home run controverial double play. Basil was era had another big game, going 3- to J.D. Alleva. He tallied nine strike- called out because of runner’s inter- 4 with a home run and two RBI. outs to bring his season total to 57 ference by Goffena, with the um- Starting pitcher Steve Kelly earned K’s in six appearances. Tech scored pires claiming that Goffena impeded the victory for the Yellow Jackets, early and often, plating two runs in the throw to first base. Neverthe- working six innings and allowing the bottom of the first inning on less, the Jackets’ nine game winning two runs. Andy Mitchell picked up singles by Richard Lewis, Bryan streak ended. his second save of the season, pitch- Prince, and Mark Teixeira. Teixei- Sunday was a duplicate perfor- ing a perfect ninth inning. ra struck again in the third with an mance of the previous day, with the Tech won again on Wednesday, RBI double and Jason Basil added a Jackets coming up short again by this time pouring on the runs to two run shot to increase the Jacket the score of 4-3. Tech displayed an win 12-5. Teixeira was the hero again, lead to 5-0. Lewis, Tech’s leading inability to get the men on base going 4-5 with four RBI. Freshman hitter at .495 hit a three run blast in around the horn to score runs, as Phillip Perry won his first career the fourth inning and Brad Stock- Tech stranded 13 runners. Duke game as a Jacket, pitching five in- ton added another homer in the starter Kevin Perry scattered ten hits nings and allowing three earned runs seventh inning to bring the lead to in seven innings to earn the victory on two hits. He also had eight strike- 10-1. Derek Goffena, not to be out- for the Blue Devils. Tech starter outs. Tech used various offensive done, added his own two run shot Rhett Parrot took the loss, pitching weapons to open up an unsurmount- As the Jackets head into the second half of the season, catcher Bryan in the eighth to cap a four run in- 6 1/3 innings and allowing four able lead for the Buccaneers, scor- Prince, as well as his teammates, hope to come up with some ACC wins. ning. runs on six hits. After Duke put two ing runs in each of the first five Saturday, the Blue Devils exact- on the board, sophomre sensation innings. Richard Lewis increased ed revenge against our Jackets, win- Mark Teixeira tripled and scored to his hitting streak to 18 games while The team has reached the half- Tech needs to finish in the up- ning 4-3.Tech ran into solid pitching cut the lead in half. Duke came pounding out three hits, scoring two way point in the season, and the per third in conference play to earn from Ryan Caradonna,, who worked back to plate two in the seventh on runs in the first two innings. Jason meat of the ACC schedule is at hand. a bid in the NCAA tournament. eight innings and scattered eleven an RBI single and a sacrifice fly. Basil added a two run blast in the The Jackets continue play against Tech needs to combine the good hits to only allow three runs. Duke Teixeira again took matters into his third inning. Brad Busbin and Rob- the North Carolina State Wolfpack pitching of late with their potent took a 3-0 lead before the Jackets own hands, jacking his eighth homer bie Robinson closed out the game in a three game series on the road. offensive play, and then they will be could respond, but the Jackets of the year in the seventh. Tech in the mound to improve Tech to N.C. State has a 16-11 record and able to make some noise in the bounced back in the fifth inning, trimmed the lead to one in the eighth 20-8. looks improve against the Jackets. postseason. Softball team has .500 week prior to their FSU matchup

By Prezre Lease in control of the game early as they earned the victory as she allowed Making a comeback got on the board in their first at bat just three hits, walked two and struck taking a 3-0 lead behind an RBI out one. This week has been a topsy tur- single from Kori Jacobson and two During the weekend’s win, sec- vey one for the Yellow Jacket’s soft- Bears' errors, allowing two addi- ond baseman Ellen Styer belted a ball team. Last Saturday, they faced tional runs to score. one-run triple and rightfielder Ja- Southwest Missouri State and came However, Brown took the lead cobson went 3-for-3 while driving up with a win. for good in the top of the fifth, in two runs to help lead the Jackets However, they couldn’t keep the scoring all five of their runs on four over Southwest Missouri State (15- streak alive against Brown on hits, two walks, and one Yellow Jacket 13) by the score of 6-2. Wednesday. error. Tech head coach Kate Madden Held to just three hits on the Jamie Smith (9-10) received the thus scored a victory over her alma afternoon, Tech (18-22, 0-2) fell to loss for Tech as she gave up seven mater in the Jackets' first meeting Brown (4-7) by the score of 5-3 in hits, walked one and gave up five with the Bears. Wednesday’s game. runs. The Bears jumped out to an ear- The Yellow Jackets looked to be For the Bears, Aleana Sutton ly 2-0 lead in the top of the fourth as Annie Medico had a two-out dou- ble to knock in two runs. But, Georgia Tech would bounce SPORTS BUZZ back as they exploded for six runs behind seven hits in the bottom of Yellow Jacket baseball will be out of town this weekend, the fifth. In that inning, the Jackets received RBI hits from Lindsay taking on the 16-11 N.C. State Wolfpack. Wood, Jamie Frost, Styer and Ja- cobson. Tech’s softball team will be out of town this weekend, also, Freshman pitcher Tiffany Good- as they will travel to Florida State for a double-header. man (9-12) received the win for the Jackets as she pitched seven strong They will be in action at home next Wednesday, April 5 innings allowing two runs on seven against Georgia Southern. hits and striking out three. Sarah Nemlowill took the loss for the Bears as she came in in relief and allowed Golf participates in the U.S. Collegiate Championship, four runs on six hits. April 7-9 at the Black Dimond Rance in Lecanto, FL. The Jackets softball squad will be in action again this Saturday when For more information on sporting events, visit they will travel to Tallahassee to take on Florida State (28-27, 0-0) By Dale Russell /STUDENT PUBLICATIONS www.ramblinwreck.com. in a double header, which will be The Yellow Jacket softball team is hopeful of improving their record this crucial to their ACC standings. weekend against FSU and using that momentum for the rest of the season.