ELLE.Com, We Asked Women Around the World How They Feel About Their Breasts
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she was taking, a side effect of which was ball courts with them braless, without a fuller breasts; she was now a C. Buzzing twinge of pain, without having to think of PROUD off two Bloody Marys, I demanded that them at all. she guess my size, before gleefully whis- When I started to mess around with pering it: “32DDD!” “I don’t believe you,” boys, I noticed that my breasts were de- OWNERS she said. “It’s true,” I replied, grinning pendably responsive to touch. “Start Big or small, utilitarian or with the same kind of satisfaction you get up here,” I’ve been known to mumble, when you reveal that a fawned-over dress or sometimes just silently pick up and decorative, scarred or is from H&M. transfer a male hand that is moving too unblemished, it’s about You might think I should learn to quickly for my tastes. What pleasures embracing what you’ve flaunt my form, stereotypers be damned. they’ve afforded me! So much so that I got. Herewith, five stories But it’s hard to get dressed in the morn- recently bought a dress whose price was of breasts by the people ing without remembering the viral study beyond my means mostly because I could of female college students’ reaction to an- imagine being touched through the sub- who know them best other young woman—chosen by research- limely silky fabric. (My breasts and I are ers because she was “attractive from an divorced from their previous tender, and 1 evolutionary perspective” (small waist, I’ve only once managed to put the dress to I Look Better Naked big boobs)—depending on what she wore. its proper use. We persevere, however; the Never a sound sleeper and prone to over- When the Darwinian ideal “interrupted” money will not go to waste.) heating, I often wake in the morning to a meeting clad in jeans and a T-shirt, the When I’m walking down the street, find that I’ve stripped myself bare over- coeds took the incident in stride; when she my breasts do not call out to men as night. There’s a full-length mirror across was dressed in a low-cut blouse and short do the appendages of the more gener- from my bed, and on summer days I’ll sit skirt, however, they rolled their eyes and ously endowed, which is not to suggest up, catch my reflection, and pause. In this acted hostile in her presence, with one that I’ve lacked for male attention. I’m a barely conscious state, my gaze is noncrit- speculating after she left that she prob- package deal as far as my appearance— ical, my body sleep-warm, and Renoir’s ably wanted to sleep with her professor. nice hair and face, tall and thin—and Nude in the Sunlight crosses my mind. I’m fortunate enough to work at a job plenty of men have greeted my body If you haven’t guessed, it’s my breasts surrounded by supportive, sex-positive enthusiastically, in and out of bed. That I’m admiring; they’re large and round women I trust and admire. The few times really shouldn’t be a surprise, but in and, rightly or wrongly, capture some I’ve worn a top that clings or dips, I’m met our pornified, surgically enhanced cul- kind of cultural ideal. The adjectives em- with “Keziah!” I know what this means. ture, it can be hard to remember that ployed by the guys who’ve come into con- It’s the you-go-girl, feminist-friendly ver- some men (and women) actually prefer tact with them au naturel are “great” and sion of a catcall. And yet, I’m young, with a streamlined aesthetic, and most of us “amazing,” voiced almost reverently. And worth left to prove, and serious women couldn’t care less about size as long as as though my breasts appreciate the com- do not present their bosoms on a platter. our partners throw themselves into the pliments, they’re highly receptive, like the Is America ready for a president who proceedings. mimosa plants I used to play with on trips shows off what nature gave her? Not yet. As for my own eye, I’ve been im- to Hawaii, their sensitive leaves crinkling Like thigh-highs, ample cleavage feels pressed with my breasts’ loveliness. They at a breath or a touch. lewd in a way private nakedness doesn’t. look fetching in a lacy bra, and some- Now comes the inevitable downside. One morning last year, I woke up times I like to watch them as much as Can a woman be completely sanguine alone in a man’s bed; he’d left hours ear- I like to watch the body of the man I’m about her body? Short answer: No. (I’m lier for a flight. It was the first time I’d with; the male body still can be slightly truth-telling here, not propagandizing.) been in his apartment without him, and I frightening to me (though that adds its The ratio of my rib cage (small) to my lingered, taking a long shower and walk- own frisson). My breasts in the right lin- breasts (large) cuts the kind of figure that ing out of the bathroom naked, and then gerie make me smile—is it pride?—and I find difficult to outfit. In structured or making his bed in the buff. As I reached they turn me on. If that is not effectively formfitting dresses and tops—most work for my clothes I caught sight of myself—he co-opting the male gaze, I don’t know clothes—I resemble Joan in Mad Men or, had a mirror, too, right by his bedroom what is.—Laurie Abraham worse, Joan’s older sister. I don’t like the door. Large breasts may make their bear- overtly sexual (or matronly) look. It could ers into walking Rorschach tests, eliciting just be that my sensibilities were formed others’ desire, anger, jealousy, even (fe- 3 in the company of the lithe wisps of the male) solidarity. But that morning in the The Normcore of Boobs San Francisco Ballet—my mother played mirror, the breasts I saw in the reflection, The following logic might seem perverse flute in the orchestra. But it’s more than the breasts he’d exalted just hours earlier, or nonsensical, in only the way a wom- that. I don’t like how I think others per- belonged only to me. —Keziah Weir an’s thoughts about her own body can ceive me when my curves are showcased: be, but here it goes: While I think my as a sexpot, as more body than brains. To slim legs, blue eyes, and delicate wrists 2 BREASTS avoid that, I’ve honed a minimizing pro- are especially fine, the thing I love about fessional uniform, which basically con- What Pleasures They’ve my breasts is that there’s not much to sists of crewneck shirts and loose dresses. Afforded! love about them. Or to hate about them. A LOVE STORY It’s my own personal game of hide-the- The first word that comes to mind when The normcore of boobs, if you will. (If Or two, or three. A special section on the world’s boob, and I’ve gotten pretty good. At I think of my breasts is…trustworthy. my breasts had their own favorite drink, most discussed, displayed, and desired body part— brunch recently with a girlfriend, the They’re small, 34A, so they stick close I imagine it would be a pumpkin spice unk Archive in sickness, in health, and in the imagination Tr conversation turned to a new medication by. For years I ran up and down basket- latte.) A B cup, give or take, they’re small- 138 BEAUTY Subslug BEAUTY Breasts 139 ish in size but not dramatically so. (The even if I did have a very good A), and left one is slightly larger than the right his attention to them was almost always but only inasmuch as the human body the gateway to our sexual encounters. is never perfectly symmetrical—heck, In fact, most of the guys who saw them BREAST HEALTH: their idiosyncrasies aren’t even that idio- over the years approved. They’re tiny by syncratic.) Their pertness, average; their the standards of the billboards in Times shape, more oval than round, I guess? I Square, but they apparently had a cer- MYTHS/TRUTHS actually haven’t given my breasts much tain je ne sais quoi. A college boyfriend When to get a breasts usually shrink says Elisa Port, MD, chief thought in the 16 years since I got them. clamped a champagne glass over one mammogram, slightly from their pre- of breast surgery at Mount And I wouldn’t want it any other way. of them while we were in bed (it did fit what not to worry baby size—with sag being Sinai Hospital in New To be clear, this isn’t some effort to perfectly) and said, “That is a f--king about, and why the result. York. “Nothing could be damn with faint praise or to rationalize ideal, Lisa.” I only wish I’d had the pres- Isaac Newton further from the truth.” my situation. When it comes to much of ence of mind to reply, “That is a f--king could’ve consulted ONLY THE FooL- my body, I feel overwhelmed, caught in cliché, Roger.” for Victoria’s Secret haRDY Don’t gET ALCohoL inCREASES a lifelong struggle to tone things down.