A Guide to All the Concerts Taking Place at House Of

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WORDS FROM THE WIZARD HEY OTTAWA - WELCOME TO THE HOUSE OF TARG! We’ve got a sweet month of arcade action planned for you with exciting new games to explore, delicious varieties of handmade perogies to sample and a calendar packed with every sort of show/event under the sun! You asked for it so we made it happen - FAMILY FREEPLAY SUPER SUMMER SUNDAYS have been extended for the month of August and we couldn’t be more stoked - unlimited arcade action all day long for the whole family!! Looking for the sweetest deal in town? Look no further - 50% off on any order of handmade perogies off our CLASSIC MENU every Wednesday in August from 5pm till close!!! Thanks for checking out our monthly TARG zine - we hope that you ﬁ nd it useful and entertaining - our 65th issues and still going strong!!!! Thank you for your continued interest and support, we are here to serve you!!!!! #nevergiveup - yogi baddies, then they disappear. A new crop of computerized eyeballs will be introduced after a 5-second interval.

The labyrinth maze contains two types of corridors: long and short. The computerized eyes have an advantage in the extended halls because they move slowly, while the player moves at a rapid speed. Don’t get caught in the long corridors because although the computer’s eyeballs move at a crawl, one shot while you’re making a run for it is all they need. You lose a man if you’re shot by a computerized eye?

In Eyes, the player must be smart. Try to locate a short path or hallway awhile in the long corridor and duck into it. The computerized eyes don’t normally use the small paths, which entices you to collect more items or ﬁ re back at the enemy when they least expect it.

Collect all items to move to the next stage. There are 8 stages in all.

TaIt appears that Rock-Ola’s vid game Eyes See you next month, gamers! may have been inspired once Midway’s Pac- Man (80) Ms. Pac-Man (1981), and Junior Pac-Man (1982) cordially were introduced. Back in the 1980’s, solving maze puzzles was the basic norm.

Set in a labyrinth maze, Eyes is a player playing, well, a giant eyeball that moves around the entire closure while gathering certain items. Now, you can’t just grab the items, you have to shoot them to collect them. The eye contains a paralyzing and invisible beam that zaps the items for points while maneuvering throughout the labyrinth.

While collecting the items, the player must also avoid the computerized eyes that patrol the maze. Use the eye’s beam to stun the electronic Guitar Synth (Ultraboss) this Jam hits like a slow steady groove with FIVE EPIC SYNTHWAVE me to road trip to see her Great to pump up the club or fatal relentless lyrics and chords TRACKS TO GET YOU perform live, since then we cruise down a long stretch of that make you want to make babies have touched base on a few highway. or call up your could be or has been STARTED ON A RETRO occasions and Im a forever guy or lady friend and chat til you FUTURISTIC JOURNEY! fan. This song in particular fall asleep, Chosen as the ﬁ nal song helped motivate me out of the of the night at Dream Warriors ﬁ rst downward spiral I was in at Synthwave Sunday at TARG.. the time, Dana’s voice to me just speaks of my childhood in Toronto growing up downtown in the 80’s which to me also embodies and perpetuates my passion for the genre.

3. RED EYES - ZOMBIE OVERDRIVE FROM THE ALBUM “HYPERION” 1. DREAMS - TIMECOP Released April 22nd 2016 1983 FEAT. DANA JEAN Is an Outrun lovers (me) 5. LETS TALK FM84 FEAT. PHOENIX Dream. Steadily building up the TIMECOP 1983 & JOSH DALLY FROM THE ALBUM tension towards an onslaught FROM THE ALBUM ATLAS “JOURNEYS” of well defi ned melodies and Released April 25 2016 Released June 14 2014 hard rocking electric guitar, FM84 a Scotland native who Probably the song that this track is an unstoppable reached across the pond to San jumpstarted my interest in 2. PULSE POWER - force to be reckoned with. Francisco California to record and Synthwave and its branches DYNATRON make his break holding a steady fi rst knowing Dana Jean FROM THE ALBUM 4. ALL NIGHT - TOKYO toe in the Dreamwave corner of Phoenix from her work here “ESCAPE VELOCITY” ROSE FEAT. LEBROCK AND Synthwave comes through with and then researching more Released November 22nd 2012 ULTRABOSS chilling vocals by Josh Dally who of the artists she has been Perhaps the Monolith of FROM THE ALBUM “THE tells it from the heart and hits you featured with (countless hard hitting atmospheric CHASE - LAST RUN” right in the feels no matter how amazing songs), really helped synthwave grooves Dynatron Released December 22nd 2017 many times you hit repeat, this me to fi nd out who was who in perpetually chugs onward to a With two of the biggest names track always leaves me wanting the scene and even propelled cataclysmic celestial release. in Vocal (Lebrock) and Heavy more Synthwave in my diet. WELCOME TO THE SECRET WORLD OF MY TOY COLLECTION! Canada’s hottest independent bands. Tall COMMUNITY CLOTHING SWAP #4: Back 2 Skool cans of Amsterdam 3 Speed only $6.50 every Edition!! 2pm - 5pm. Admission is FREE and all Thurs. Doors @ 8pm!! ***EARLY START/EARLY ages are welcome - swap for something you want FINISH*** and reduce your carbon footprint - donations accepted at the door for the OTTAWA HUMANE A GUIDE TO ALL THE CONCERTS TAKING PLACE AT FRI AUG 23 - House of TARG and Beau’s All SOCIETY ***FREE FREE FREE*** HOUSE OF TARG THIS AUGUST. Natural present: DÉVAH QUARTET Performing Rush’s 2112 live + OLD JAMES (Ottawa 70’s SAT AUG 31 - House of TARG and Ashton Rock ‘N Roll) + NESSIE (Ottawa Progressive Brewing present: BACK TO ROCK N ROLL HIGH THUR AUG 8 - House of TARG and Whitewater (Brooklyn/Toronto Experimental ) + THE HAIG Hard Rock). DÉVAH are Toronto’s virtuoso string SCHOOL! w/ THE RAYMONDS (A RAMONES Brewing present: DANNY VAN SCENEY (Ottawa CHECK (Ottawa Metamorphic Rock). Take the Trip. quartet returns to TARG to perform RUSH’s Experience MTL) + THUNDERKOK (Ottawa Metal) Space Fuzz Duo) + IN HEAT (Ottawa RAWK) + Tall cans of Amsterdam 3 Speed only $6.50 every masterpiece 2112 - stoked!! ***HIGHLY + THE THRILL (Ottawa Rock) + DJ Steve Adamyk. SIMONAK (MTL Hard Rock). Get LAZERED in the Thurs. Early Show Doors @ 8pm!! ***TAKE THE RECOMMENDED*** Live bands for every clique at TARG Secondary mind by these 3 hard rocking independent outfi ts. TRIP*** School. What gang will yo hang with... The Punks, Tall cans of Amsterdam 3 Speed only $6.50 every SAT AUG 24 - House of TARG and Ashton The HeadBangers, The Rockers or The Nerds? - join Brewing present: MY SON THE HURRICANE us!! ***PICTURE DAY AT TARG HIGH SCHOOL*** Thurs. Doors @ 8pm!! ***EARLY START/EARLY FRI AUG 16 - House of TARG and Beaus All (Toronto Big Funk Machine) + DRFTR (Niagara FINISH*** Natural present:80’s DANCE PARTY w/ DJ Remi Royale + musical guests THE JOHN HUGHES Folk) + CLOUD CITY (Ottawa Progressive Jazz/ THUR SEPT 5 - House of TARG and Whitewater FRI AUG 9 - House of TARG, First Crush ORCHESTRA (80’s New Wave Tribute) the most Funk). MY SON THE HURRICANE are a multi Brewing present: IAN BLURTON’S FUTURE NOW Promotion, Switched On Synths present: PETRA authentic 80’s dance party in the universe is horn, multi drummer, multi singer brass funk (Toronto Heavy Rock) + ESPANOLA (Toronto Rock) GLYNT ((MTL Experimental SynthPop) + ICE CREAM back and everyone’s invited!!!! Dance the night dance party. No dance fl oor is safe. Hailing + THE BAND WHOSE NAME IS A SYMBOL (Ott (TO Electro Duo/PostPunk/Post Everything) + away to all your 80’s favourite tunes brought to from Niagara/Toronto, the band mixes New Psychedelic) + GLENN MILCHEM (Toronto Solo ORCHIDAE (Ottawa Melancholic SynthPop). Super you by our very own wizard and DJ REMI ROYALE!! Orleans style grooves with funk, jazz and hiphop performer /Blue Rodeo, Change Of Heart, Holy stoked for an amazing show featuring a new set Singalongs, lasers galore PLUS live tribute ***GOOD TIMES GUARANTEED*** Fuck). Guitar Wizard and TARG fave Ian Blurton of material from TARG favourite PETRA GLYNT bands!! ***DANCE PARTY*** returns with a new whack of songs and a new WED AUG 28 - House of TARG and PBR group of killer musicians. Expect some old school ***SYNTHY FEM POST-PUNK*** SAT AUG 17 - House of TARG, Hot Tramp present: A evening of PostHarcore/MetalCore. rock, trippy excursions & jaw dropping 6 string SAT AUG 10 - House of TARG and Ashton Brewing Management and Ashton Brewing present: THE EVEN THE TREES (Toronto Progressive Post- magik. Doors @ 8pm!! ***GUITAR HERO*** present: BIG SHINY TUNES LIVE: 4 Pillars of Seattle LEANOVER (Upstate New York/Mtl DreamGroove) Hardcore/Post-Rock) + PARLIAMENT OWLS Edition. Featuring NEVERMIND (Nirvana Tribute) + SPARKLESAURUS (ottawa glitterwve) + THE (Toronto Progressive Post-Hardcore) + YARNS FRI SEPT 6 - House of TARG and Beaus All + HAIL HAIL (Pearl Jam Tribute) + GET BORN MONOTYMES (Ottawa New Indie Alternative - This (Ottawa SoundScape) + HELD IN SECRET Natural present:80’s DANCE PARTY w/ DJ Remi AGAIN (Alice in Chains Tribute) + SUPERUNKNOWN months TARG Pin-Ups) + THE KOMMENDEN (Mtl (Ottawa Metalcore). Doors @ 8pm!! ***50% Royale + musical guests 2 HIP TO BE SQUARE (Soundgarden Tribute) + VJ Jeff The Temp. A KrautPop/ Indie) Excited for this special live OFF PEROGIES FROM OUR CLASSIC MENU (Huey Lewis and the News 9 Piece Cover Band). very special Mega Grunge Edition featuring live music showcase featuring an amazing lineup of EVERY WEDNESDAY IN AUGUST!!*** Dance the night away to all your 80’s favourite Nirvana, Pearl Jam, Alice In Chains & Soundgarden up and coming independent artists - join us!! tunes brought to you by DJ REMI ROYALE!!! Tributes + VJ Jeff The Temp plays all of you fave ***HIGHLY RECOMMENDED*** THUR AUG 29 - House of TARG and ***80’S DANCE PARTY IN THE UNIVERSE*** Whitewater Brewing present: ONIONFACE 90s music vids on the Big Screen ***FOUR (Ottawa Rawk) + CHERRY HOOKER (Toronto SAT SEPT 7 - House of TARG, Shade Nyx presents TRIBUTES, ONE NIGHT*** SUN AUG 18 - Switched on Synths, Toughen Up present: FREE-PLAY SUNDAY: SYNTHWAVE Heavy Glam Rock) + RIVER’S END (Ottawa Post BURLESQUE NITE: Back to School: Bodies of Knowledge! Edition. Come see your favorite Ottawa WED AUG 14 - House of TARG and PBR present: EDITION! A Retro-Futuristic Arcade Takeover… Punk). Guitar driven awesomeness - all cans burlesque babes strip and grind as sexy teachers, VIDEO GAME MUSIC LIVE w/ F8-BIT Yep it’s true - SynthWave Djs + Unlimited Arcade FreePlay of Amsterdam 3 Speed only $6.50 every Thurs. school boys and girls and more! It’ll be one sexy the amazingly talented F8-BIT, Ottawa’s hottest Action + Mega Rad Visuals on the TeeVees + Doors @ 8pm!! ***WAH WAH PEDALS*** faculty!***4TH ANNIVERSARY OF BURLESQUE & most creative musicians, perform brilliant LIVE Perogies Served Late - Adults Only! $6 19+ renditions of you fave video game music - all ages 8pm - 2am **FREE-PLAY WITH A SYNTHWAVE FRI AUG 30 - House of TARG and Beaus All AT TARG *** welcome - a concert the whole family can enjoy!! SOUNDTRACK*** Natural present: FREE-PLAY FRIDAY SKA NIGHT: RETURN OF THE BANGARANG!!! Join us for this FREEPLAY - EVERY SUNDAY NITE - House of ***50% OFF PEROGIES FROM OUR CLASSIC special edition of VOTP featuring Djs LONGSHOT TARG, Collective Arts Brewing present: TOUGHEN MENU EVERY WEDNESDAY IN AUGUST!!*** THUR AUG 22 - House of TARG and Whitewater Brewing present: RAT PARADE (Hamilton Garage MAGNIFICENT, BJORNLATE & TREVOR WALKER UP! w/DJ KJMaxx - Every Sunday night DJ KJMAXX & Guests, spinning 100% vinyl arcade jamz. All pins THUR AUG 15 - House of TARG and Whitewater Punk) + KING SWAN (Ottawa Desert Space Rock) spinning CLASSIC SKA AND REGGAE ALL NIGHT & vids are set to FREEPLAY mode starting at 8pm Brewing present: AN EVENING OF SPACEY + AMALGAMATION (Ottawa Indie/Garage) + + unlimited arcade action & drink specials for for your unlimited arcade pleasure. ***FREEPLAY PSYCHEDELIA with NO MISTAKES IN SPACE CURL (Ottawa Punk Rock) Check out a night just $5 ***DANCE PLAY PARTY*** (Ottawa Indie/Post-Rock) + ANTHEMS OF THE VOID of wicked live music action featuring some of SAT AUG 31 - House of TARG presents: TARG SUNDAY*** of, well, creeps. Stalking, serial killers, riding out a plane crash and other dark subject matter juxtapose with the foot-tapping, upbeat poppy music to create a great listening experience. These could be murder ballads, but designed for the pop sensibilities of today’s young rocker.

As far as the overall sound of the disc, there are obvious nods to the Ramones, Chixdiggit!, Gob, and early Green Day. After repeated listens, I’m sure there are other more literary inﬂ uences at work here as well, maybe some Nick Cave, Tom Waits or HP Lovecraft have “creeped” into the mix.

The band is going strong, with the guys just home from a European tour including a couple THE CREEPS performances at Punk Rock Raduno in Bergamo, LAKESIDE CABIN Italy, so I’m sure you will get a chance to catch It’s Alive Records 2008 them around town soon enough. In the meantime, Mixed by Johnny Love at Paf! Disques if you see Lakeside Cabin, or any of their LPs while digging in the local bins, you can be Mastered by Dave Williams at Rock Among Us conﬁ dent handing over a piece of our music budget to take The Creeps home. This pop punk gem was recorded in 2008 by the band’s Jordan Bell and released a short time later. This is the band’s third full length, and they have had a couple standout releases since, including their latest, Beneath the Pines, and a singles collection ﬁ ttingly titled Old Crimes: Singles Collection 2009-2013, but this album is the one I still spin the most.

The Creeps are Skottie (vocals, guitar), Ian (bass, vocals), and the aforementioned Jordy (drums, vocals). These guys are all longtime ﬁ xtures on the Ottawa scene, playing in a seemingly endless list of local outﬁ ts that I would be foolish to try and list here. Let’s just say they know their way around their instruments, and are experts at mapping out melodic punk songs.

This is a collection of classic singalong pop punk, with Skottie’s unique vocal sound and chugging guitars supported by the steady thump of Ian’s hard picking bass and Jordy’s driving, no nonsense drumming. I wouldn’t go so far to say this is a concept album, but the lyrics often take a sinister turn, with the subject matter revolving around what really does seem to be a cast Larry is one of the owners of Meow! That’s Hot Kitchen + Bar at 519 Bank St., where they feature local products and spin Canadian vinyl all day, every day. He also performs bass duties with local hardcore heroes Slim and Popular, and rockers Thunderuncle. managing the Montreal band Winona Forever, but it’s deﬁ nitely an empowering experience to which usually takes up a couple hours of my gain insight on what you do from those who you day in sending emails back and forth alone! think do it best! I also write for the New York based magazine Pink Things, and am a Board of Directors WHAT WOULD YOU TELL SOMEONE ABOUT member at CKCU. Long story short, my days are TO START A CAREER IN YOUR FIELD? packed! These three things:

TELL US ABOUT A PROJECT OR 1) The Canadian music community is shockingly ACCOMPLISHMENT THAT YOU CONSIDER small. Everyone is friends on Facebook, it’s weird. TO BE SIGNIFICANT IN YOUR CAREER. With this, don’t let anyone hang their connections First Crush Promotion, a passion project that over your head. Anyone can network, but being a unexpectedly launched my total investment nice person stands out! in the music industry. I launched First Crush as a booking “agency” in the Spring of 2017 2) Musicians really are just people that you can because I came to terms that the world is a email and ask to play in your city! More often fucked up place and that I needed to tackle that than not, they will be into it. Try it and see what in some capacity. What got me was that there happens. were so many conversations going on at the time about how venues in Ottawa were unsafe 3) If your not a man, people might try and belittle for members of our community who identifi ed as you and treat you like you don’t know what you’re anything other than white and/or cisgender, and doing. Just remember that anyone who gets in the how failing to recognize that perpetuated the way of you moving forward isn’t worth your time tolerance of discrimination in our scene. While and to trust your gut! WHAT JOBS AND EXPERIENCES HAVE Ottawa, majoring in Communications with a participating in those conversations provided LED TO YOUR PRESENT POSITION(S)? minor in Digital Humanities. Right now I am me with the opportunity to do a lot of learning I would say that my involvement in the on Summer holidays before going into the fi nal and unlearning, I felt useless having all of creative industry has everything to do with year of my degree, and working as the Festival this knowledge and not investing it anywhere. volunteering in community radio as a high Coordinator at CHUO 89.1 FM (University of This became my call to action; to restore the school student. I began at CKCU 93.1 FM Ottawa). Here, I am responsible for setting music community I loved so much from the (Carleton University) in 2014, which fi rst up partnerships with festivals and events inside-out. Since, my unwavering goal has been and foremost defi ned my relationship within the Ottawa region. I really love this to give back to the community I grew up in by with Ottawa’s music scene, as well as the job because it’s allowed me to become more providing a platform for new, up-coming artists Canadian music circuit more broadly. For acquainted with what community connection that are outside of the typical entirely-male- example, without CKCU I would have never and engagement looks like in worlds that I white-dude-rock-Ottawa-band with a focus become attuned to shows going on in Ottawa, was otherwise unfamiliar with or not directly on implementing the safe-space practices or festivals like Ottawa Explosion, of which exposed to. that should have been there in the fi rst place. gave me the fi rst indication that, yes, you Basically, I want to use First Crush as a way to can in fact explore a career in the arts in a Outside of work and my studies, I promote invite more folks to the conversation addressing government town. Likewise, community radio shows in Ottawa under First Crush Promotion. what the community needs and wants. was how I fi rst became exposed to both larger Booking shows is a lot of work, to say the social issues within the local music scene, least - but I really enjoy it! During the Summer WHAT DO YOU LIKE MOST ABOUT but also presented an avenue for ways to months I’ve been taking a little bit of a WORKING IN YOUR INDUSTRY? an upcoming show Zoe’s FIRST CRUSH push back. break, but leading up to an event usually I’m To put it simply, I’ve had the chance to work PROMOTION company is co-presenting at TARG with a lot of folks that I really admire, and that coordinating show logistics, doing social media ABOUT THE INTERVIEWER: WHAT DOES A TYPICAL WORK DAY and promotion for the event, and featuring means the world to me. I won’t name-drop my Sheila is a TARG Perogi Wizard alumni ENTAIL FOR YOU? artists on my radio show at CKCU. During the hometown heroes in fear of embarrassing them & is involved in the local music scene as a promoter & aspiring sound tech. I am currently a student at the University of latter part of this year, I’ve also been tour (you’re all modest - but you know who you are!), nearby to an ancient spring which favourite television cartoon classics may have healing waters. Okko and commercials, plus some bizarre discovers that there are spirits living offerings unfamiliar to the most there that only she can see – ghosts learned of animation geeks. who become her friends, and help her Clearly, our patrons hold memories voyage through her new life. of sugar fi lled cereal, and marathon runs of cartoon watching in a special This family friendly animated feature place in their hearts. It’s always a was directed by Kitarô Kôsaka, packed house, and we always go with a screenplay from Reiko through a ridiculous amount of cereal A BIG SCREEN dominating franchise in everything Yoshida. Kôsaka’s animation credits (the only sad thing in association with from cards to video games to include such legendary classics this joyful event, is that there are no CARTOON, + cartoons. as the aforementioned Akira, and prizes in cereal boxes anymore). Studio Ghibli’s Spirited Away, and SMALL SCREEN Right up to the present day, there’s Princes Mononoke. His previous Extra incentive to attend, we’ll have a no sign of the genre falling out of directorial credits include two Nasu secret announced at this September’s CARTOONS ON THE favour with its loyal viewers. fi lms: Summer in Andalusia, and A edition of Cartoons! BIG SCREEN! Migratory Bird with a Suitcase. The director, screenwriter, and the two FAMILY FRIENDLY ANIME Nasu fi lms were all recipients of ANIME FANS HAVE JAPANESE ANIMATION: 60’s PREMIER THIS MONTH Tokyo Anime Awards. Okko’s Inn was THE POWER! Premiering a Best Animation Film nominee at the Also, we have the possibility to the 90’s Awards of the Japanese Academy. Although Japanese animation at the end of booking more anime Ottawa goes back a century, the modern of August, Premiere’s, hinging on the box offi ce anime style gained popularity in we’ll host success of Okko’s Inn. So, if you’re the 1960s with a boom of talent. an always SATURDAY MORNING ALL- an anime fan, and hope to see more Animation historians often point welcome new YOU-CAN-EAT-CEREAL with us in the future, be sure to buy a at Osamu Tezuka’s work with the addition to CARTOON PARTY! ticket for this special screening! (comic book) manga, and the the anime catalog with Then in cartoon adaptation of Astro Boy as September, the turning point for the industry Okko’s Inn. The fi lm we welcome on the world stage. In the 1970s back one of OKKO’S INN premieres the and 80s there was a deep well of is inspired from a our most week of August 30th! quality television animation making popular its way onto Canadian screens, two children’s novel series events, the of my favourites were Battle of the Saturday SATURDAY MORNING ALL- Planets, and Fables of the Green from Japan YOU-CAN-EAT-CEREAL (with twenty books released from Morning Forest. All-You-Can- CARTOON PARTY returns on 2003 to 2013), written by Hiroko Reijo, with illustrations by Asami. Eat-Cereal Saturday September 7th! Also in the 1980s, independent Cartoon cinema screens in North America That was followed by a manga adaptation with art by Eiko uchi. Party! For more information on these and started showcasing masterpieces other upcoming movies, please visit like Akira, and My Neighbor The story - An orphan named Okko A three www.mayfairtheatre.ca Totoro. And, of course, the 1990s hour saw Pokemon become a planet goes to live in the country with her grandmother, who runs an inn back-to-school edition of your water! Secondly, super-size your about. You must understand, Canada summer by consuming lots of is a country that values QUANTITY “summer only” junk like corn on the over quality. For example, we have cob, slurpees, gin and tonic, BBQ tons and tons of land and we don’t ribs, watermelons and popsicles. care that most of it is uninhabitable Finally, maximize the hot days muskeg and tundra. We just like by minimizing your wardrobe! Try having a lot of it! So, if we can get a wearing the least amount of clothing huge coffee quickly and for next to you feel comfortable in. I usually nothing... well, that’s good enough spend the fi nal hot days of summer for us. We’ll choke it down. Have you wandering around my Mom’s house tried the dark roast? in nothing but my tighty-whities. Trust me End’oSUMMERbummer, if you make the most of the short DEAR MR. SLO’ TOM: I think I’ve THE SUMMERTIME summers we have, you’ll avoid those got swimmer’s itch! It took a little end-of-summer-blues and welcome dip in the canal one night after BLUES, CANADIAN the fall. Good luck! FREE PLAY SUNDAY at House of TARG... and now I’ve got a rash CULTURE AND (you-know-where! ). I’m super itchy! MUTUAL RASHES! DEAR MR. SLO’ TOM: I’m an What should I do? I’ve got a hot American and I’ve recently traveled date coming up, and I don’t think from my home in Poughkeepsie to they’ll be impressed if I’m dancing DEAR SLO’ TOM: Every August I get visit to your fi ne country. While in around scratching my privates the the end-of-summer-blues… and I Canada, I’ve enjoyed the beautiful whole time. Help me Slo’! Signed - get them BAD! Once the evenings scenery, the friendly people and TheITCHisback get cool and the days start becoming the fantastic weather. However shorter I get into a serious August there is something that continues to DEAR THEITCHISBACK: You’ve come funk. What can I do? Have you got confound me. Why are Canadians to the right guy! I’m no doctor, but any HOT tips to help me keep the so obsessed with Tim Horton’s? I poorly planned late night swims in September blahs at bay – Thanks, tried to drink one of their coffees the canal have caused me no end End’oSUMMERbummer and it wasn’t that great. I don’t of trouble (both medical and legal) understand it at all. Any place over the years. You’re pretty lucky if DEAR END’OSUMMERBUMMER: Yeah, that tried to serve coffee like that all you got is swimmer’s itch. In the I hear ya. Summer in the capital is in Poukeepsie wouldn’t last a past, my ill advised moonlit skinny just too damn short and once you week. Can you please explain? dips have resulted in ear and eye get to the end of August it’s hard Thanks - CONFUSEDinNYSTATE infections, respiratory problems, for those mellow summer vibes not a variety of strange rashes, and to be harshed out by the impending DEAR CONFUSEDINNYSTATE: Our love gastro intestinal distress. One time fall. But there are some things you of Tim’s has nothing to do with the they event thought I had cholera! CAN do. First off, make the most quality of their products. Canadian’s Anyway, enough about me. The of the remaining summer you have. love Tim Horton’s because it’s obvious solution for your hot date If you’re like me and like to drink, fast, cheap and because they is to take THEM SWIMMING IN try some weekend camping trips. are everywhere. You can get a THE CANAL! That way you’ll have Camping is an outdoor drunk with GIGANTIC coffee for a Toonie (that’s something in common. Look out the added excitement of axes, fi res, $1.50 for you!). Yes, it tastes like below! Cannonball!!! Good luck, wild animals, and open bodies of shit, but that’s not what we care TheITChisback