sometimes’ - Art on sometimes’ -Arton ‘It’s like a jungle ‘It’s likeajungle Will the strikes Will thestrikes Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, The reality of The realityof semester one Sydney Film Sydney Film adult ADHD the street week five Festival go on? on? go Pg 10 Pg 14 pg12 pg 4 2013

honi soit your

what’s in

head?

DISCONTENTS HONI NEWS 6. New Mexico student A Conversation paper censored for sex edition Pierre Ryckmans, an internationally Honi Soit is my education. Being an about teachers that were role models to Lucy Watson renowned scholar, essayist and literary editor has forced me to find value in the him in university, he simply replied “no critic, said in an interview with Radio writing of young people, and this has teacher left as much of an impression 8. The psychology of National’s Late Night Live that his ideal been one of the most beneficial influ- on me as my university mates.” Hope- rape Jokes university was one where students ences this position has had on my day- fully, in 40 years from now, when you’re Nina Ubaldi are not sitting in class and staring at a to-day life. Instead of reading the run a scholar, teacher, journalist, lawyer, blackboard, it is one where they are con- of the mill opinions of 40-something doctor, astronaut or even unemployed, versing. He discovered classical music reporters in publications like the Sydney you will be able to say the same thing. ARTS & through his uni friends that were music Morning Herald, I can be educated in an lovers and he would ascertain new books unexplored territory like the life of an Avani Dias CULTURE when his companions would read parts adult with ADHD on page 10 of this of captivating pieces of literature to paper. I can discover the links between Editor-in-chief 13.Sydney’s live each other. To Pierre Ryckmans, these street art and rap music through the music funeral exchanges were far more important than words of Sam Jonscher, on page 12. Or any of the time he spent listening to a I can read about the intricacies of lin- Jeremy Elphick lecture. guistics by reading the article by Nina 14. Dan Schreiber: This outlook is one that I have been Ubaldi on page 8. lucky enough to inhabit in my years I want you to treat each of the articles Funny Guy at Sydney University. Whatever your in this paper like a good conversation opinions on the classroom, education with one of your friends. Like in a good Cameron Smith standards and teachers, we should be in conversation, you must be generous agreement in this idea that we are lucky when approaching these articles. Gener- THE to have the dispensation of being cul- ous in the sense that you will take on the OIN tivated, cultured and schooled by our ideas you find in these articles and take S peers. Not only will this concept vali- them into new territories. In a beautiful 22. Game of date every time that you decide to ditch progression, you can then discuss them class and have a beer on the grass with with your friends. You can even hate Thrones: Union your friends, but it is one of the reasons the opinions you find in this paper. Just Board Edition I enjoy being an editor of Honi Soit to make sure you talk about them. the extent that I do. When Pierre Ryckmans was asked 23. FINALLY! AN HONI FOR MEN!

Editor-in-chief: Avani Dias

Editors: Rafi Alam, Bryant Apolonio, Max Chalmers, Mariana Podesta-Diverio, Hannah Ryan, Nick Rowbotham, Xiaoran Shi, Nina Ubaldi, Lucy Watson.

Reporters: Georgia Behrens, Cameron Caccamo, Jeremy Elphick, Henry Innis, Georgia Kriz, Sam Jonscher, Stella Ktens, Brad Mariano, Luca Morelti, Justin Pen, Chelsea Reed, Cameron Smith, Caitlin Still, Harry Stratton, Jaimie Summerfield, Edwin Montoya Zorilla WOULD YOU RATHER... Cover Image: Anita Maritz (Sydney College of the Arts)

Photographers and Cartoonists: Darren Lesaguis, Jennifer Yiu Be taught French by a Puzzles: Dominic Campbell, Dover Dubosarsky pretentious, croissant- wielding Burmese The editors of Honi Soit and the SRC acknowledge the traditional kitten? owners of this land, the Gadigal people of the Eora nation. Honi OR Soit is written, printed, and distributed on Aboriginal land. If you are reading this, you are standing on Aboriginal land. Please Brush your teeth with recognise and respect this. a cactus? Want to place an advertisement in Honi Soit ? Contact Amanda FAQ: LeMay & Jess Henderson [email protected] Honi Soit is published by the Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney, Level 1 In what way is the kitten pretentious? Wentworth Building, City Road, University of Sydney, NSW, 2006. The SRC’s operation costs, space and administrative support are financed by the University of Sydney. Honi Soit is printed under the auspices of the SRC’s Directors of Student Publications: Clare Angel-Auld, Adam Well, he’s a cat. And he speaks French. Chalmers, Bebe D’Souza, Brigitte Garozzo, James O’Doherty, Lane Sainty. All expressions are published on the basis that they are not to be regarded as the opinions of the SRC unless specifi- Why is he wielding a pastry? cally stated. The Council accepts no responsibility for the accuracy of any of the opinions or information contained within this newspaper, nor does it endorse any of the advertisements and insertions. Printed by MPD, Unit E1 46-62 Maddox St. Alexandria NSW 2015. He will wield it right into your abdomen, should you screw up your conjugation of être. (It is a sharpened and buttered crois- @honi_soit sant, so it is pretty threatening.)

http://www.facebook.com/honisoitsydney www.honisoit.com letters

At no point was a I threatened with decency. When writing for a publica- chemical violence or a subscription to tion outside of “social media” — as the Socialist Alternative, so I complied you put it — an exclamation mark is with her pointless request. to be used sparingly. In fact, one is The rest of the day was fairly unevent- often precisely one too many. Three ful. A young police officer I spoke to at in a row is just preposterous. & the trough grunted and said the day had Yours in pretentiousness, been “fucking boring”. I spoke to the Christopher J. Browne Carslaw coffee-cart lady who was befud- SOUND Never Leaving VIII dled as to why there were a group of hippies banging trash cans outside her place of business. I informed her they In opposition to Euthanasia fury were most likely trying to disrupt the Dear Honi, students in the Computer Lab, and she Rafi Alam is a hypocrite. In his suggested that they bang their drums opening editorial for 2013, he railed less rhythmically or risk sounding like a Raytheon and the USSC cal faction/Club or Society. Further against the global tragedy of suicide. percussion group. Dear Honi, assertion that all members of said fac- Yet in last week’s issue, we heard Rafi tion/Club buy into groupthink and that Later that day I sought out the smelli- arguing not only for suicide and the I’d like to expand on Harry Stratton’s anyone associated with said faction/ est looking protestor I could find for killing of the suicidal to be enshrined exposure of weapons producer Raythe- Club is untrustworthy and should not some answers. Sadly, it turned out most in NSW state law, but clothed in on’s sponsorship of the USSC, specifi- be taken at their word, especially the of the circulating rumours were false. the legitimacy of our medical com- cally his point about links to the Israeli writer. Spurious claim that rival faction/ There was no acid-assault or siege of the munity. Euthanasia is a barbarous government’s ongoing crimes against Club does not engage in groupthink and chemistry building. There was no Grand regress and something which all stu- the Palestinian people. is always trustworthy. Assertion that all Theft Auto of employees attempting to dents should oppose – if only for Sydney University continues to sup- those who are ‘really interested’ in the breach the City Road barricade. There the sake of the tens of thousands port Israeli institutions complicit in topic at hand should get involved in rival weren’t even any stompings from the of young people who struggle with international crimes, including the faction/Club. One last jab at writer and cops – just a handful of arrests of “rov- despair every year. They need to be Hebrew University and the Technion. their faction/Club. ing picketers”, who in their righteous given support; not handed a plastic Both provide direct material and ideo- frenzy ignored police requests and were Overly formal signoff, bag and a zip tie by the likes of Cate logical support for the Israeli military, duly manhandled out of lecture theatres. Faehrmann. the ongoing illegal occupation of Pales- Sara Amorosi I’ll admit I am completely oblivious Yours faithfully tinian land (UN Resolution 242, 1967) Science/Arts VII to the politics behind the strike, but as Rowan Light and violations of the Fourth Geneva someone who had to be on campus Convention. As recently as 2010, the BA (Hons) IV A-Niche letter on some Ka-Poor that day and was looking forward to a UN found prima facie evidence of war form little social upheaval while everyone else crimes committed during the Israeli mil- pissed off to the beach, I second the Smelly and Impotent itary’s Operation Cast Lead. In response to the review of “Anish Kapoor at the MCA” and the opening words of that constable in the toilet. Dear Honi Soit, Those who are disturbed by the influ- line, “[I] can’t recall the last time con- Power to the people, sure, but with a ence of a missile manufacturer on our I recently opened the bag that temporary art was this fun” makes me little more style than this in the future. studies should be similarly concerned by came with my USU Access Card. laugh and wonder when you were last in Joshua Watt these links. Our university should not be Inside were a number of items an art gallery. However I simply wanted Medicine II supporting other universities, which are which deeply mortified me, viz. not to rewrite a misprint, which is “that it’s complicit in crimes against humanity. one but TWO types of deodorant, hard to believe that Kapoor dropped out An apostrophe becomes a catastro- and a condom. I interpreted this At the next SRC meeting there will be of engineering school after six months phe, again to mean that the USU thinks that a motion to support Sydney academic for struggling with mathematics.” The I smell awful and hence cannot get Jake Lynch’s attempt to sever these links fact is, it isn’t hard, not hard at all. For Lo, how excited I was at the prospect laid. For this affront to my sensibili- and take a stand against the Israeli gov- Kapoor does not make his art, he sim- of a self-titled pretentious law student ties, I insist that the Union send a ernment’s crimes. I urge all those con- ply creates the concept and hands it over correcting some peasant’s grammar in formal apology to Honi Soit to be cerned about our links with Raytheon, to skilled craftsmen who construct the last week’s issue. Unfortunately, Anony- published by the end of the second the Hebrew University and the Tech- math and skill of the artwork to its com- mous, you have made a few glaring mis- week of April. If this does not occur, nion to support Lynch and justice for pletion. Kapoor is simply the rich man takes of your own. For those of us here I will publicly burn my Access Card the Palestinian people. that pays the builders and then stamps a in the colonies, the following tips may in protest. Furthermore, I will ask Cheers, bill quadruple its worth. His work is not prove useful. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad to impose Bjorn Wallin “wondrous” or “expectation-de-fying,” First, when one quotes, one encloses the strictest of economic sanctions his work isn’t even his. the quote with quotation marks and rel- Arts IV (Hons) on the USU. He will surely comply. Laura Bradford egates any punctuation to the outside, I do not think PwC will look fondly unless it forms part of the direct quota- Architecture III upon the results. Meta letter tion itself. Hence: Sydney Law School is Yours Truly, Cheerful greeting, directed to the edi- “taking over my life”. (The surrounding Pedram Mohseni tors, Strike Disappointment quotation marks are excluded here for Arts II Assertion that Honi Soit is my favou- I for one was roundly disappointed clarity.) rite on-campus new outlet, with fur- with the strike. Absent from campus on Second, your liberal use of the excla- ther elaboration on same. Reference Tuesday, my only preparation for the mation mark is an affront to common to article/letter from previous edition. day was alarming stories of mass riot, Summary of article/letter, in particular, acid-hurling liberal freaks, police bru- “Quote.” Assertion that the writer has tality and widespread social unrest. I missed the point. Expression of desire was thus excited and admittedly a little that the writer stick with the facts, with paranoid when I set out from Redfern Anyone can write for Honi Soit ! judgment that personal comment has no station on Wednesday morning. Armed place in journalism. Personal comment with little more than an umbrella and on the topic at hand. Personal comment an ironic print-shirt for camouflage, I Email all letters and submissions to: on the writer of article/letter, with judg- braced myself for a phalanx of pick- ments of a physical/political and bor- eters. Instead of being skewered on [email protected] derline discriminatory nature. Assertion NTEU flags and placards, I was greeted that the writer’s opinion was spurred on by a friendly pensioner who politely by their association with campus politi- invited me to make an alternative entry through the backstreets of Darlinghurst.

Hilarious Journal Article Titles: Pimple Mounds: A New Viewpoint 3 HONI NEWS FREE Week Five Edition “It’s just a jump to the left, then a step to the riiiiiight” An end to the strikes? Max Chalmers reports on developments in the negotiations between USYD management and staff University management and unions said negotiations had taken a positive are grinding towards a deal which would turn since the 48 hour strike. They indi- bring the current round of industrial ac- cated that in the two meetings with the tion to an end. University since the strike, progress had Though both sides are cautious in been made. their public statements, it has become Michael Thomson, NTEU Sydney clear that negotiations relating to the Branch President said this included pro- University’s proposed Enterprise Bar- gress on key issues such as the 40:40:20 gaining Agreement—the document that provision, a clause that dictates the ra- determines the conditions, rights, and tios of research, teaching, and adminis- wages of staff—are making progress. trative work academics are expected to Just days before the most recent 48 undertake. The University had been ar- hour strike, Provost and Deputy Vice- guing for the removal of the clause. Chancellor Stephen Garton sent an Thomson’s counterpart, CPSU email to staff announcing the Univer- Branch President Grant Wheeler echoed sity’s intention to keep several provi- this assessment. “There have certainly sions it had controversially attempted been positive signs…[management] are Protesters stop traffic on City Road. Photo: Stella Ktenas to scrap. In an attached video Profes- showing signs that they’re more willing sor Ann Brewer, another Deputy Vice- to negotiate,” he said. Wheeler believed such as rates of casualisation, revert- 14.5%. Chancellor who is heading up the Uni- the University bargaining team were ing to the standards in the former EBA But even once these issues are settled, versity’s negotiations, announced that now ready to compromise on a clause would not be sufficient. the University and the unions will still anti-discrimination clauses and com- that the CPSU said would have allowed “All they’ve done is agreed to put have to agree upon the rate of wage in- mitments to limiting the number of almost all new General Staff to be of- the clause back in that’s in the current creases. The University has offered 2% casual employees would be kept in the fered transient fixed term contracts in- Agreement. With 50% of teaching at per annum but the unions are asking for new Agreement. The University has also stead of steady full time positions. the University done by casual academics 7%. In light of these continuing dis- agreed to set a target number for Indig- However, both unions were at pains with an increase of casual academics of putes, the NTEU will meet on Wednes- enous employees. to stress that if the University did not 3% over the life of the last Agreement day to discuss the prospect of further Brewer declined the opportunity to continue to negotiate in good faith, in- this isn’t good enough,” he said. action. respond to Honi Soit’s questions about dustrial action would again be taken. Deputy Vice-Chancellor Stephen Though negotiations are moving with the specifics of the current negotiation “If they don’t actually engage properly Garton disputed the NTEU’s statistics, increased pace it will be some time be- process. “It is best that we do not con- in the bargaining there will be further in- arguing that the percentage of casual ac- fore further strikes can be ruled out en- duct our negotiations via the Honi Soit dustrial action, that’s for sure,” Thom- ademic staff has decreased from 24.7% tirely. [sic],” she said. son said. The NTEU and the CPSU in 2001, to 19.9% last year. He added But both the National Tertiary Edu- were confident strike action had played that the casualisation of administrative For continued strike coverage fol- cation Union (NTEU) and the Commu- a major role in forcing concessions. and professional staff had also fallen low @honi_soit nity and Public Service Union (CPSU) Thomson added that on key issues, across the same period, from 14.9% to Katter the mad hatter Georgia Behrens reports on a controversial speech by Bob Katter Federal MP Bob Katter appeared to no-one wanted for hundreds of years, describe pre-colonial Australia as terra and turned a barren country into a pros- nullius in a keynote address on Thursday. perous one.” Speaking at the Australian Intervarsity Mr Katter’s speech also contained an Debating Championships at Griffith appeal to female students to have more University, Katter began a potted histo- children. ry of Australia by belittling Indigenous “[Australian magazine] Marie Claire society in the country prior to 1788. says 85% of women want to have ba- “To start off with, there was no-one bies. They’re not, so I want you to race here,” he said. out there and do it,” he said. This statement was met with vocal The tournament coordinator, Peter outrage from the large audience. Kat- Coulson, says that he respects Mr Kat- ter attempted to confine his comments ter’s right to his own opinion. to pre-Aboriginal settlement, and raised “We support a plurality of views in the possibility of his own Indigenous debating, and thank Mr Katter for gen- heritage. However he then went on to erously giving up his time to share his say: “So, there was no-one really here, views with the contingent,” he said. Katter strikes a pose with University of Sydney debater, Jessica Xiao only a couple of sheep.” Mr Katter’s office has yet to respond “Your forebears took a country that to requests for comment.

4 May the Force of the Operating System Be with You: Macintosh Devotion as Implicit Religion www.honisoit.com news

ceremonies. The Gate has to admit that, published in the Gate last week. USU All the rumours, hearsay, and if anything, we would probably classify President, Astha Rajvanshi, said they downright slander from the world this as a punishment. of student politics and culture were taking the matter “very seriously” and were seeking the advice of a lec- Josh Sprake Zarathustra turer specialising in American indige- SUPRA President resigns over the Manning, Wentworth, and Josh Sprake has resigned as one of the nous cultures. While most of the Board The Sydney University Postgraduate Holme buildings. Plainspeak? The Uni three SRC Queer Officers – whose role members agreed with the action taken, Representative Association (SUPRA) was trying to screw over a student or- is to co-convene the Queer Action Col- USU Secretary Zac Thompson said HONI NEWS has announced that its President, Ange- ganisation. A great struggle ensued lective (QuAC). He resigned last week it was wrong to disrupt the vendor’s lus Morningstar, resigned on Thursday and for some time the future of the after news that fellow Queer Officer “right to trade” prior to expert advice. March 28 after a “long and sustained” USU appeared to be in great doubt. Fahad Ali (with whom Sprake originally Board Director, Tom Raue, also raised discussion at the Council meeting. As this played out, another unseen ran with in the Collective’s election last concerns that the USU’s resolution to battle was taking place in the Board year) and Councillor Evan Van Zijl had support the strike through their mar- When pressed on the matter, Morn- room. Catchlove had been arguing that ingstar explained that he had breached put forward a motion to remove him, to keting department had not been suffi- the USU should allow the University be debated at the April 10 SRC meeting. financial regulations. However, as the ciently acted upon. The USU published to take over the venues. This sparked Ali and Van Zijl accused Sprake of one blog post per day of strike activity. discussion was ‘in camera’, that is, closed tensions as Catchlove appeared to be “failure to show any interest in the Col- “I certainly didn’t assume every time to non-members and without publicly acting in the interest of the Senate lective beyond a desire to attend meet- there was a strike we had to do some- available minutes, the Gate is unable to (which was supporting the take over), ings”, failure to help with organising any thing,” said USU CEO, Andrew Wood- provide any further details. The SUPRA despite the fact the rest of the Board Collective activities, “violating collective ward. Executive said that they “cannot pro- and the broader student body were al- autonomy” and having a “controlling, vide further comment at this time” as most universally opposed to the Uni- dominating and authoritarian presence UNSW NLS splits they are currently seeking legal advice. versity’s venue grab. One long time during meetings that stifles discussion, Following the disaffiliation of Syd- Morningstar has been replaced by for- USU observer described Catchlove impairs consensus and creates an unsafe ney University NLS from the national mer SUPRA Treasurer, Joanne Gad. Ah simply as “Spence’s lapdog.” space”. group, UNSW has also dissolved ties. As the other Board Directors became democracy. In his resignation, announced to David Bailey-McKay, Convenor of the suspicious of his motives, Catchlove QuAC via Facebook, Sprake apologised former NLS branch, has told the Gate claims he became isolated from the for any behaviour that caused members New Pro-Chancellor not pro-USU that UNSW has faced the same prob- Board, excluded from all-staff emails to feel this way toward him, however lems Sydney University did, including a A controversial ex-University of Syd- and not invited to meetings. A source refused to accept the allegations made ney Union (USU) Board Director has “lack of reform”, and that part of the inside the USU at the time told the against him, saying he resigned because reason for the split was “solidarity with been appointed as the University’s new Gate that Catchlove was accidentally he no longer feels “welcomed into Pro-Chancellor. Dr Barry Catchlove, USYD.” not included in one email. Catchlove QuAC,” and believed that the claims Disaffiliation from NLS appears to who will now serve in the ceremonial eventually resigned in bitter circum- were “unfair and unreasonable”, par- Pro-Chancellor position, briefly acted have national groundswell, with James stances just a couple of months into ticularly given he had only attended one Cook University, Griffith, Deakin, and as a Senate appointed member of the his term, much to the relief of every- meeting, because of work obligations. Board in 2011. potentially RMIT having already bro- body. ken ties with the National Caucus. The Gate can reveal for the first time While there had been conjecture that State of the Union the controversial circumstances sur- In response to the split, Kathleen Catchlove’s appointment to the posi- The USU has suspended the sale of Studdert, NLS caucus member, called rounding Catchlove’s time on the Board. tion of Pro-Chancellor was a reward native American-style headdresses by Long time readers of this paper will re- the UNSW ex-NLS faction “spinless for his loyal service to Spence, the Dr a Union vendor following complaints gimps.” member that 2011 was a traumatic year himself pointed out that the ceremo- for the USU as the University attempted nial position is unpaid and mostly con- to prematurely end its Occupation Li- sists of attending hours of graduation cense, which affords the USU control Where your money went: SSAF Cameron Caccamo explains changes to funding for student organisations Student organisations can finally con- dent organisation to improve its posi- firm their 2013 budgets after the Student tion, though only by $10 000. Services Amenities Fee (SSAF) alloca- Both the Students’ Representative tion recommendations were released on Council and the University of Sydney Friday, following a lengthy deliberation Union (USU) took small hits to their process. The SSAF is the $273 that all budgets, while the Cumberland Student students pay at the beginning of the Guild (CSG) has 17% less money to year. It goes towards co-curricular activi- work with this year. ties, student services, and amenities. Sydney University Sports and Fit- The recommendations will be present- ness (SUSF) again received the largest ed to the Senior Executive Group and amount of any of the organisation with the Student Consultative Committee. It its allocation of $3.76 million. is expected they will be passed. These changes to funding levels were The establishment of a ‘Capital Sink- expected by student organisations. USU ing Fund’ saw the University take $2 mil- President, Astha Rajvanshi, said the lion from the pooled funds for buildings Union was “pleased to hear about the and other amenities. Despite this, stu- initial outcome on SSAF allocations and dent organisations were able to split the hopes to continue to foster a collabora- remaining $10 203 401 without the need tive relationship with the University and for major changes from 2012 allocations. other student organisations.” It is yet to In comparison to 2012 allocations, the be seen whether the current allocations Sydney University Postgraduate Repre- will be formalised in agreements that last sentative Association was the only stu- longer than one year, allowing student Organisation 2012 Allocation* ($) 2013 Allocation ($) organisa- SRC 1 493 094 1 420 000 tions to SUPRA 989 118 1 000 000 better plan CSG 725 186 605 000 how they spend the SUSF 3 899 401 3 763 401 funds into USU 3 183 939 3 110 000 the future. Student Support Services 187 000 305 000 Total 10 477 738 10 203 401 * including project grants from the Sydney Life Fund

Unpleasant Odours From Dust-Bins 5 news @honi_soit Department of Corrections News in Jaimie Summerfield discovers there is no city of “Fark Ta” in Thailand, it was simply a typo In remote northern Thailand lives a Bunluesilp’s piece was republished and our brains are zombified. Because we Revue man, his wife and 4600 Scorpions. Suang reappropriated everywhere. Reputable consume and consume mindlessly and Puangsri used to breed scorpions to be if pulply publishing sites like the Huff- unintelligently. Because all bloggers Henry Innis doesn’t dance to devoured by rich Thais and adventurous ington Post did a simple copy and paste think they’re journalists. When in truth, the beat of the EAG’s drum Contiki tourists. And then he changed job, leaving Bunluesilp’s byline intact. most are just typists with a good handle his mind. Well...freed his mind. Suang But hundreds of dodgy bloggers with on the hot keys for copy and paste. Do you hear the people sing? become a Buddhist. Now he lives with no sources other than Bunluesilp’s piece There is no Fark Ta. But it’s such a Singing a song of ‘activist’ men? 4600 of the stingy critters to atone for wrote their own (quotes intended iron- farking boring fact that no one thought Was it music of the students? his sins. Move over Dwayne ‘the Rock’ ically) “original” pieces. Pieces which to check it. Towns can be created by Who will not be beat again! Johnson there’s a new Scorpion King in referenced Suang, his scorpions and his the click of a mouse. Villagers without town. A town called Fark Ta. town. Always his farking town. shoelaces can become internet sensa- And could the picket line chant, If you’ve ever read an article with a But there is no Fark Ta. Fark Ta, tions. Pro wrestlers can be cast in Dis- Echo the beating of the drums, ney movies. I just don’t know what to similar--if less grammatically question- it seems, was a misspelling or a mis- The real strike will start, believe anymore. able--lead you’ve been lied to. Not about translation of the district of Fak Tha; When the EAG finally comes! Suang. Not about his scorpions. Not a much larger area of Northern Thai- even about hilarious but true spelling of land that contains at least 11 separate Will you join in their crusade? Dwayne. You’ve been lied to about Fark villages. Now Fark Ta is a Google-able Or will you be like me in Hermann’s? Ta. There is no Fark Ta. Thai getaway, know for its “lush forests” Manning the beer ‘barricade’, In September of 2009, Reuters jour- and whacky residents. Fark Ta is a fic- And is there a lecturer you long to see? nalist Noppawan Bunluesilp travelled to tional construction born from a lack of (That really, really hot one.) Northern Thailand, to write an article fact-checking. It is town built on a typo. with a lead just like this one. From all I’ve seen ways too many fake baby accounts, her’s was the first of our Scor- carrying eagles to so easily believe every- Make up your decision, pion overlord. She interviewed Suang, thing online. I approached the existence Having said that, your lectures aren’t took some photographs, shot some of a non-pro wrestling Scorpion King free. video and filed her story. Scorpion King with trepidation. “Does he really have went viral. 4000 deadly Scorpions?” “Why the Will you give all you can? For most Gen Y-ers finding an unex- fark would he put them in his mouth?” Or will you give them shouts of ‘get pected picture of your mug online isn’t “Surely his wife is not cool with this!” out!’ exactly unusual--even if you have a scor- But I never questioned the boring stuff. pion in your mouth. But Suang comes I trust Wikipedia articles on dead The campus, divided to a man, from a part of the world where shoelaces presidents and skin conditions because Will you stand with Scriven and shout, Cartoon: Darren Lesaguis are considered high tech. Becoming an I figure, what’s the fun in faking it? But The sunburnt activists, internet sensation was unfathomable. boring things can get farked up too; Not Will charge the pews of lecturers out! Yet Bloggers took to Scorpion King to mess with the zombified brains of like he was a very expressive gopher. internet news consumers but because Seymour Centre gets seedy Mariana Podesta-Diverio is stuck in a gore-tex vortex

In bucketloads groomed dogs and cats ANU victim to Cascaded on our cataracts UNI-VERSE (a summer of cheap sunglasses - embezzlement our pupils sorely scorched!) A call to arms by Weatherzone Nick Rowbotham reports on an embezzlement scandal suggests umbrellas rather than guns at the Australian National University Student Association Which months defy all Bondi reason? In June last year, the Canberra Times ANUSM that it intended to publish a (supposedly) ongoing police investi- This wretched saturation season! reported that an office-bearer of the story detailing the scale of the theft of gation, ANUSA will not inevitably be Australian National University Student student funds. damaged by the theft, as its finances City of Sydney’s “wishful thinking” Association (ANUSA) had embezzled Alternative news website VEXNEWS were insured. But the scandal has raised Isn’t in tune with Bazza’s taste up to $60 000 from ANUSA, the ANU went further in a piece published shortly significant questions surrounding finan- Chased away were elaborate dreams Interhall Sports Organisation (ISO), and after the initial Canberra Times article. It cial security and accountability in stu- of giant, bustling footpath streams ANU Student Media (ANUSM) - which named erstwhile Treasurer of ANUSA, dent organisations. publishes the student newspaper Woroni. Victor White, as the perpetrator of the A further opinion piece published in Thus timeless George is to remain Since then, it has emerged that the fraud. It alleged that White embezzled the Canberra Times last year by an under- A classic of vehicular terrain three organisations were defrauded to the funds by simply transferring the graduate student of ANU implored that ‘Smart’ design shan’t walk us through the tune of over $125 000, after an au- money to his own bank account, an as- for an organisation with a budget of Pedestrian strips with smog-free views dit of their finances was conducted by sertion that was repeated by the Times in over $1 million, ANUSA ought to have accounting firm KPMG. The fraud is its article last December. higher standards of financial manage- And as kids go, they need protection alleged to have occurred over a period Honi Soit spoke to sources at ANUSM, ment and accountability. ANUSA later Inflections in speech from screeching of two and a half years. ANUSA is said who claim that they have contacted po- contended that it had “implemented charities make calls for higher standards to have lost $74 000, ANUSM $34 000, lice on four separate occasions and are more stringent financial controls since echo across children’s organisations and the ISO $18 000. still yet to receive any indication that the start of [2012]”. The Canberra Times published another White is being pursued or that charges But ANUSM sources indicated they The gestation of this group’s call is still piece in December 2012, exposing will be laid. were baffled that theft on such a large in early stages the full extent of the fraud. The piece Honi has also been told that White, scale had gone undetected for so long. Pages of history turn to dust on rusty claimed that a statement on Woroni’s a former student at Knox Grammar government library shelves website—later censored by ANUSA School, has moved back to Sydney and (change is always slowest when we and the university for legal reasons— is currently living with his parents. scrutinise ourselves) as prompted by the Times notifying Regardless of the outcome of the @nickrowbotham

6 Teach Your Grandmother to Suck Eggs www.honisoit.com news US student paper has UNI-VERSE sex edition censored

Lucy Watson investigates the shutdown of a New Mexico student newspaper following the publication of controversial content In a week that saw Tharunka, in an international competition...so content should have been. UNSW’s newspaper, publish an image somebody thinks we’re doing it right.” In a statement, the of the female reproductive system being Americans love their God-given First editor-in-chief, Eliza- ‘fucked’ by a Christian cross, the very Amendment right. Freedom of speech is beth Cleary, said that the thought of censoring a student news- kind of a big deal—one protestor on the CNM administration had paper based on its sexual content seems Chronicle’s Facebook page pointed out “stripped students of unbelievable. In Sydney, maybe, but that “lives, blood, sweat and tears have some basic constitutional some 13 000km away, a student news- been shed” for this right—and so this rights” and that “The paper in New Mexico, experienced just example of unholy censorship was met Daily Lobo will not pub- that. with a backlash on a gargantuan scale. lish printed issues of the The newspaper of the Central New newspaper until the CNM Mexico Community College, the CNM “The 12-page edition...featured administration agrees to Chronicle, published their annual special reinstate Chronicle staff edition at the end of March. stories on sexuality, sex toys, members to their former The current editorial team, headed by abstinence, and BDSM.” positions at the paper editor-in-chief Jyllian Roach, decided and allow the newspaper this year that the focus of their special to remain free of faculty, edition would be sex, in an attempt to Several First Amendment lobby groups staff, or administration discuss, as Roach said, “the more intri- reacted, and the nearby University of oversight.” From there cate parts of sex and the more fringe New Mexico’s student paper, The Daily the news quickly became stuff ” that is often left out of main- Lobo, suspended its print publication national, and word began stream discussions. in solidarity. Their Wednesday edition to spread. contained only its protest statement, Cut to Wednesday The 12-page edition, published on advertisements, and giant crosses where Tuesday, March 26, featured stories lunchtime, 22 hours after on sexuality, sex toys, abstinence, and the edition was yanked BDSM. The day that it was published, from students’ hands. the College’s administration swooped in, The College’s presi- removed all the copies from the stands, dent, Kathie Winograd, The Chronicle’s controversial edition emailed the publication board, “autho- and reportedly even took editions out Roach sees through the bullshit: “my of student’s hands. The administration rising the CNM Chronicle to continue operations immediately.” In the admin- feeling on it is that...someone made then reported that the newspaper would this decision in a very emotional state, be shut down for at least three months. istration’s third statement to the edito- rial team, she said: “the reason that we and after they got a good night’s sleep, The reasons it gave were vague, and they really reconsidered and went ‘well, multiple. pulled this issue from newsracks around campus was that a High School student maybe that wasn’t what we should have The first reason, Roach was told, was was included in this issue and we needed done’.” that “the issue was raunchy,” and the to check on the legal ramifications of It seems the moral of the story here is: second, released in a statement, was that information on a minor in a publication get a good night’s sleep, lest you violate because the college did not have a jour- of the college.” your students’ rights and make an idiot nalism program, none of the students of yourself in the national media. involved in the paper were sufficiently In the US, there are no laws against trained to “operate a newspaper that is contacting minors for comment, and distributed to a student body of nearly the Chronicle had received the minor’s @lucytheriveter 30 000.” Roach responded to this by parent’s permission to publish her com- stating that “we recently won third place ment, as a courtesy.

textbooks • We buy & sell textbooks according to demand • You can sell your books on consignment. Please phone us before bringing in your books. • We are open to USYD students & the public

NEW Location! Level 4, Wentworth Building (Next to the International Lounge) CHEAP! Hours: Mondays to Fridays 9am - 4.30pm Don’t pay full price for textbooks... Phone: (02) 9660 4756 Email: [email protected]

buy them at SRC books. Search for text books online www.src.usyd.edu.au/default.php Call 02 9660 4756 to check availability and reserve a book.

A Mayan ontology of poultry: Selfhood, affect, animals and ethnography 7 opinion @honi_soit

The right reason to hate college OPINION

Georgia Kriz loved her time at college but wants the inequality to end

It’s an unspoken rule around these lia, and I can’t hate them for that. It’s sentation of women in management didn’t offer those opportunities? parts: if you’re not a resident at a col- not just college students who binge and on company boards, and national Then there’s the legacy bias. If a rela- lege, you hate colleges. In some ways, drink—the issue is writ large across the investment in childcare, if you’re not tive of yours attended a USyd college, this is fair enough, there is a lot to hate country and indeed throughout much already aware of the epidemic nature you are almost guaranteed a place at about them. Incessant binge drinking, of the Western world. Rape culture isn’t of this malady. To hate the colleges for that college. And hey, if that relative a pervasive rape culture, and institu- confined to colleges—every day I see mirroring everything around them is not happened to donate a bunch of money tionalised sexism combine to create an new examples of victim blaming, slut particularly productive. to the institution, then you might find archaic set of social norms that anyone shaming, and rape being trivialised and What I can hate, what I do hate, and yourself on the receiving end of a nice would find repulsive. naturalised via jokes, the media, and what I think people everywhere should little Alumni Scholarship. Bad luck for But in this way, colleges are essentially popular culture. And don’t even get me be hating about colleges is something those students whose parents left school a microcosm of contemporary Austra- started on institutionalised sexism—see completely different, and something after Year 10. the gender wage gap, the underrepre- that doesn’t get enough attention. And of course, most importantly, I went to a college. I had a great time. most outrageously, there are the fees. A I made fantastic friends and memories. year (actually around 30 weeks) at a col- But at my college there were people lege will set you back between $16 000 whose parents lived in Mosman who had and $19 000, a needlessly prohibitive their university fees paid upfront. These price tag. Students at St Andrew’s Col- students lived side by side with others lege have their rooms cleaned for them who worked 60 hours a week over the on a weekly basis; St Paul’s College had summer so that they could move from a ferris wheel at their formal last year; their small country town and become Women’s College have different wines the first person in their family to attend selected each week to complement their university. In fact, from what I saw, formal dinners. USyd college residents wealthy Sydneysiders outnumber less live a life of excess and extravagance, privileged students from rural, regional, and it is this extravagance that inflates or interstate areas by at least 2 to 1. That the cost of college until it is well out of is what I hate, and that is worth hating. the realm of the affordable. A number of factors contribute to this I left college because I didn’t believe terrible inequity. Firstly, the selection cri- in it. I didn’t believe in the inequity and terion for colleges is biased towards the the inaccessibility, and I hated that I was wealthy and privileged. Applicants are part of it. I want to see a college system asked to list their co-curricular activities based on need, not wealth and lineage. and educational background, as well as I want to see fewer ferris wheels and provide school reports and eventually more scholarships. I want to see a more ATARs. This is all well and good for multicultural mix of residents. Above north shore private school graduates all, I don’t want any more kids to have who have had access to incredible sport- to work 60-hour weeks in order to get ing facilities, rich cultural experiences, a tertiary education while others just sit and top notch educators, but what about back and watch Mum and Dad sign the the kids from a rural state high school? cheque. What happens if they can’t list rowing, cultural exchange, and flute ensemble on @georgiakriz their applications because their school St Andrew’s College

No laughing matter Research Report

Nina Ubaldi reports on the research that is proving sexist jokes make sexist people “What’s the difference between a proclivity tests, which described a rape received in the context of ‘entertain- Both studies, however, found this dis- bitch and a whore? A whore will screw scenario (without using the term ‘rape’) ment’. In these studies, sexist jokes were turbing effect could be moderated by anyone. A bitch will screw anyone but and asked the subjects how likely they thought to reinforce the kinds of norms altering certain key factors. No amount you.” would be to act as the assailant did in that make it easier for people to act in a of sexist jokes could make stranger rape According to recent psychological the scenario. hostile manner towards women. Other scenarios seem palatable, unlike the sce- research, it is possible that after reading In both studies, men exposed to sex- studies have similarly shown that men narios that described date rape. In other this joke you are more likely to accept ist jokes were more likely to sympathise are more likely to tolerate scenarios of words, the effects of sexist jokes only violence against women. with the actions of the rapist. The Cur- workplace harassment after reading sex- appeared to operate in rape scenarios ist jokes. For anyone who has objected that are still, unfortunately, confusing to It seems intuitive that finding sexist rent Research article also revealed that to dodgy examples of ‘humour’ only some people—think Todd Akin and his jokes funny indicates something about this tendency extended to other areas; concept of “legitimate rape”. your attitude to women; indeed it’s a groups exposed to sexist jokes were theory that dates back to Freud. But can more likely to blame the victim, to con- In both studies, men Furthermore, people that found sex- sexist jokes actively promote discrimina- sider rape a less serious offence, and to ist jokes actively unfunny or ‘aversive’ tion, rather than just reflecting societal recommend shorter jail sentences. exposed to sexist jokes were appeared to be immune to the effects attitudes? The psychologists explained this more likely to sympathise of sexist jokes. If they thought critically about the joke, the unconscious biases To answer this question, studies pub- effect through ‘prejudiced norm theory’, with the actions of the rapist carried by it did not affect their judge- lished in Current Research in Social Psychol- which emphasises the role of humour ment of the rape scenarios. ogy and the Journal of Interpersonal Violence in normalising discriminatory attitudes. According to the theory, prejudicial “Q: How many feminists does it take exposed male university students to to be told, “it’s only a joke”, this Trojan views implied by jokes are less likely to to change a lightbulb? either sexist jokes, or non-sexist jokes. horse-like description of jokes is likely be critically examined because they are The two groups were then given rape to ring true. A: THAT’S NOT FUNNY.”

8 Energetics and the distribution of Vampires www.honisoit.com opinion

A Parliament of jellybeans OPINION Ben Brooks watched Question Time from the front row

Quite by chance, I found myself in and the National Broadband Network, the size of his head. It is literally enor- ity is very different: careerist Cabinet the working corridors of Parliament on and impersonated pirates when Adam mous, and the man projects an aura of ministers orbit heliocentrically around the Thursday of the audacious coup de Bandt asked the Attorney-General about immense intellect. He tends to talk at potential allies; the media sells a narra- Crean. Admittedly, my attention was on Sea Shepherd. In the crossbenches, a people rather than with people—which tive of presidentialism which ignores a plate of taxpayer-funded jellybeans bored Peter Slipper sat alone, while likely exacerbated his reputation as a dif- all but Gillard and Abbott; and vot- when the news broke. Only that evening Craig Thomson cracked jokes with Rob ficult Cabinet leader—but his charisma ers, scarcely remembering the name of would we learn a handful of ministers Oakeshott and Tony Windsor, as if to is irresistible. Nevertheless, no one has their local member, go to the polls like had resigned from their posts—part of prove he still has friends. ever looked so tired and forlorn as Rudd it is a presidential primary. The unhappy the latest wave of casualties in Labor’s Two figures stood out: both former did in that meeting. Simon Crean’s abor- result? A Parliament fixated with vitri- war on cohesion. leaders knifed in their prime. Whilst his tive challenge, less than a day later, thus olic recriminations about personal trust Rewind a couple of days, the Prime colleagues derisively hooted at the gov- came as a surprise. and personal leadership. Minister breathed a sigh of relief as she ernment, Turnbull was relatively sub- The public claims ownership of party If this is the reality, Crean’s incipi- emerged from an uneventful caucus. At dued, and sat apart from the cheer squad leaders even if, strictly speaking, we ent spill was devastatingly ill-advised. least until the May budget, the Gillard formed around Julie Bishop. A quiet do not vote for them. When they are Cycling through leaders is no longer government was secure. Even so, the Rudd likewise spent much of his time deposed by the party, and not by elec- viable, if it ever was. An incontinent halls of power were abuzz with nervous in the backbenches browsing through an tion, we intuitively feel it is illegitimate. Cabinet is falling apart at the seams energy. iPad. It should not be so. In a Westminster and, come September, Parliament will Cloaked in black, a combative Gil- Part of a Global Voices delegation democracy, parties should feel that pol- resemble my plate of jellybeans: lots of lard faced an indecently gleeful Abbott funded by the USyd Arts Faculty, I was icy-making is consensual enough, and tasteless blue, with a small portion of in Question Time on Wednesday. The fortunate enough to meet with Rudd impersonal enough, that their brand can deformed reds. frontbenchers sparred over boat people that day. I spent the time marvelling at survive the departure of a leader. Real- ? ? ? When spell-check strikes DA FUQ? Honi How-To ? ? back: the Cupertino effect

High Five Stella Ktenas looks at some of the best slip-ups in publishing history Before there was Damn You Auto Yes, Word 97 almost single handedly “The Heads of State and Govern- Correct, there was the Cupertino effect. ushered in a great new age of interna- ment congratulated SATCC for the The effect derives its name from the spell- tional peace and Cupertino. crucial role it plays in strengthening check dictionary on Microsoft Word 97, At least NATO and the European copulation.” which only contained the hyphenated Parliament managed to avoid acciden- But not every editor can hide behind spelling of ‘co-operation’. This meant tally thanking anyone for shoring-up sex the Cupertino effect. The following was the British form ‘cooperation’ would be acts, as the Southern African Develop- featured in an Associated Press report automatically corrected to ‘Cupertino’ ment Community did. regarding the resignation of former (in a bizarre coincidence, CIA Director David Petraeus. Cupertino turns out to be a small “Florida socialist Jill Kelley, who town in California which is home initiated the investigation that ulti- to the worldwide headquarters mately unveiled Petraeus’ extramarital of Apple). affair, and her sister had two “cour- At the height of its devastat- tesy” meals at the White House…” ing powers, the Cupertino effect Unfortunately, Jill Kelley is not a ravaged many an important doc- ‘socialist’; she is a ‘socialite’. The Asso- ument, and it wasn’t just naïve ciated Press evidently has a very good student editors who fell victim. sense of irony or a very bad sub- Two of the more renowned editor. The muddled copy went on to examples; be re-posted all over the net and even “Within the GEIT BG the found its way into an online story on Cupertino with our Italian com- The Australian’s website. rades proved to be very fruit- In spite of these examples, the over ful.” (NATO Stabilisation Force, enthusiasm of spell-check can still be Atlas raises the world) better than the total absence of it. The “A consistent and efficient 2012 editors of the Toronto Sun are tax reform approach also will probably wishing their spell-checker facilitate the shoring up broader had been a little more interventionist EU and G-7 support for similar after they tried to issue a correction reform strategies—this in turn which went wrong in the worst pos- would make international Cuper- sible way—they managed to misspell tino easier.” (European Parlia- the word ‘correction’. When it comes ment, Towards a Re-Orientation of to ironic editing fuck-ups, humanity National Energy Policies in the EU? really is the winning team sometimes. - Germany as a Case Study)

Cartoon: Stella Ktenas Classic ‘Mom’

Vampires, Breast-Feeding, and Anxiety 9 feature @honi_soit

Caitlin Still explores the reality of adult ADHD

I have a confession to make. I’ve are frequently trivialised by the media ADD, or Attention Deficit-Hyperactiv- spent five years on my L-plates, and and general public alike. That is, if its ity Disorder, predominantly inattentive. I still can’t drive to save myself. My existence is acknowledged at all. Far from being a surprise, many aspects learner logbook lies gathering dust Focus, in the context of ADHD, is a of my life up to that point began to fall somewhere at my parents’ house, for- complex thing. In the words of Thomas into place. ever at 90 hours. My last attempt at Brown, psychologist and leading expert While we all suffer at times from parking was an ordeal that involved my on the disorder, focus consists of “a inattention and impulsivity, from dif- terrified mother squawking, “That’s an complex, dynamic process of select- ficulty completing essays and blurting Audi on your right! Don’t hit the Audi!” ing and engaging what is important to out statements we immediately regret, Flustered and distracted, my head notice, to do, to remember, moment to these symptoms must have a pervasive was full of irritated thought-noise. I moment.” It appears then that focus, and chronic impact on day-to-day func- had meant to brake, but instead, my under this definition, is essential to tioning to warrant a diagnosis of adult foot hit the accelerator, shunting the numerous every day tasks—safe driv- ADHD. Many adults who receive a diag- car forward. The near-crash resulted in ing among them. Little wonder, then, nosis later in life report a sense of hav- a screaming match between me and my that being behind the wheel gives me ing been different to their peers from mother that went down in history, if the feeling of being in a moving steel the beginning. Many experience feelings only for the fact that it ended as quickly death trap. Despite my best efforts to of anger or grief in the months to fol- as it had begun, in hysterical laughter, stay in my lane beneath the onslaught low, having had their ADHD tendencies when I got out of the car and glanced of road signs, changing speed limits dismissed as character flaws by unhelp- once more at the so-called Audi. and angry horn-beeping, I could not ful teachers, peers, parents and carers, “Mum,” I seethed. “That’s a fucking conceive of how it seemed so effort- especially in childhood, when obedi- Kia.” less for everyone else. After all, the sick ence and attentiveness are frequently Having Attention Deficit-Hyperac- brahs doofing around the Cross on a moralised. Many adults with ADHD tivity disorder, also known by the older Friday night seemed to have no trou- therefore carry feelings of inadequacy term Attention Deficit Disorder, can ble, even as they poked their heads out well into adulthood, having internalised itself be likened to driving an unreli- the windows to wolf-whistle at short- accusations that they are lazy, stupid or able car. Great to drive, perhaps, once skirted women. Perhaps, I wondered, I just plain bad. A long history of depres- you get on the road. If you can get it to was even dumber than they were. sion or anxiety is therefore common in start, that is. All too often, the ADHD For many, a diagnosis of adult ADHD those diagnosed with ADHD in adult- brain will just leave you turning the key comes as a relief. I was no different. hood. The low self-esteem and mood in the ignition to no avail, stalled in the Like many diagnosed in adulthood, swings characteristic of the disorder are middle of the road. While ADHD is I received a diagnosis after moving even known to lead to misdiagnoses of best known as a neurobehavioural dis- out of home last year. The significant other conditions such as bipolar disor- order affecting school-aged children, increase in responsibilities, on top of der, and perhaps more damningly, bor- it is estimated that between two and a larger study load, saw the day-to-day derline personality disorder, resulting in five percent of adults worldwide are of my life progressively unravel. For as further roadblocks to appropriate treat- affected. It is, however, a little-under- long as I could remember, I had been ment. stood disorder, leaving many adults used to being chaotic, messy and disor- Among the most serious conse- suffering undiagnosed and untreated ganised. I was not, however, used to the quences of ADHD is persistent under- from chronic impairments in attention, feeling of narrowly dodging death or achievement, especially in education. It impulse control, and short-term mem- serious injury as I rode my bike to uni, is a common misconception that any- ory, just to name a few. It is a disorder as my mind took protracted excursions one with adequate intelligence should associated with significantly lower lev- into nowhereland. More than once I be able to overcome issues of inatten- els of educational attainment and suc- found myself jolted out of an involun- tion and impulsivity, despite ADHD cess in work and relationships, as well tary reverie by a large four-wheel drive being present in people at all levels of as higher levels of substance abuse, hurtling towards me, angrily beeping its intellectual ability. According to a study criminality and accompanying psychi- horn. More than my academic slackness at Yale of ADHD sufferers with an IQ atric disorder. Despite the pervasive and my sink full of dirty dishes, these range in the top 1-9% of the US popula- effect that ADHD can have on a suffer- numerous, unnervingly close calls made tion, 42% had dropped out of post-sec- er’s life - especially when undiagnosed - me suspect that something was afoot. ondary education at least once. In fact, the effects of the disorder on sufferers Within the month, I was diagnosed with it is now thought that even Albert Ein-

10 Roman underwear revisited www.honisoit.com feature

Caitlin Still explores the reality of adult ADHD

stein demonstrated significant ADHD real disorder, unwittingly siding with tions, the writing of this very article characteristics, before the disorder was others who have accused sufferers of has been fraught with lengthy periods so-named. The fact that ADHD affects sheer incompetence. Others may sim- of procrastination, unsavoury quanti- people of all levels of intelligence and ply tell a sufferer that they don’t “need” ties of caffeine and counterproduc- educational attainment makes the issue their medication. Given that ADHD is a tive power naps. I even lost my laptop of adult ADHD all the more relevant neurobiological disorder, this equates to charger in Fisher Library. If, however, I to us as university students, with stud- telling a short-sighted person that they can improve someone’s understanding ies showing that greater academic incli- don’t “need” their glasses, despite only of adult ADHD as a real disorder, or nation correlates strongly with delayed having seen the world in 20/20 vision. even encourage someone blundering diagnosis. It appears, therefore, that For someone with no lived experience through life as I have with undiagnosed high intelligence and a passion for of ADHD to make such judgements is ADD to get some help, these last few learning do not necessarily safeguard simply uncalled for. days of chaos will all have been worth- against chronic difficulties in applying Despite the challenges my ADD has while. oneself to study. presented over the years, I don’t resent As for learning to drive, I’m no lon- having it. It has made me who I am, ger in a hurry to get my licence. I know and I know that it has even served me now that stupidity and distractibility For many, a diagnosis of in many ways. ADHD is associated with are far from being one and the same. adult ADHD comes as a imagination, originality and a love of Despite his messianic genius for phys- relief. I was no different... fun. Difficulties with following simple ics, Einstein never learnt to drive either. instructions also mean that few with For the man who brought us the theory The significant increase in ADHD are in the habit of toeing the of relativity, operating a motor vehicle responsibilities, on top of line as a matter of course. Although would remain “too complicated.” As treatment can make a significant differ- the unreliable car of my ADD brain a larger study load, saw ence to an ADHD sufferer’s quality of continues to remind me, everything in the day-to-day of my life life, as it has my own, there is no real fix its own time. progressively unravel. for the disorder. Despite my best inten-

The use of stimulant medications such as dexamphetamine and Ritalin for ADHD remains a controversial issue. Sensationalist media on ADHD deals overwhelmingly with the sup- posed overdiagnosis and overmedica- tion of hyperactive children, as well as the well-known potential for abuse that these drugs carry. Stories of children being turned into “zombies” by Ritalin or adults on dexamphetamine being pegged as “drug-seekers” only worsen the stigma attached to taking medica- tion for a genuine disorder. For those who choose to take them, medications can make an enormous difference to the lives of sufferers, allowing for far greater functioning in work and study. Even so, the use of psycho-stimulants still attracts unhelpful commentary from those uninformed about the dis- order. Some support their judgements with complete denial of ADHD as a

Did the Romans Keep their Underwear on in Bed 11 ARTS & CULTURE

THE WRITING ON THE WALL Samantha Jonscher schools you on the fourth pillar of hip-hop

After he schooled New Yorkers on new, and very illegal, signage. They hon- earth and making them tangible. though, he’s telling people that they are etiquette via cheeky but official-looking our the likes of Mos Def, Jay-Z, Kanye, Legend was key for Shells when he on sacred ground, reminding outsiders signs posted on the New York Subway, RA the Rugged Man, Jeru the Damaja, came up with the idea. The artist told of the intertwined identities of New artist Jay Shells is counterfeiting city CL Smooth, and GZA, and breach the New York Daily News that these spots are York City and hip-hop culture, and how signs once again. Armed with a cam- length of New York’s hip-hop history. “really specific locations, a place where the two have shaped each other. Hip- era, nails and a map, Shells took to the When asked what inspired him, Shells you could put a brass plaque in the hop is a prominent character in New streets of NYC to honour the places of told Animal, “I love hip-hop and it’s ground and say, ‘This happened here.’… York just as New York is a prominent rap legend in his newest project, ‘Rap cool to know that you are somewhere That’s the reason I did the project. For character in hip-hop. Shells wanted to Quotes.’ that was called out in a song.” Hip-hop that feeling for someone that might be create elegies for rap history and put Shells created semi-official red park- is a genre born from folklore and place walking by, and that person didn’t know these places of rap myth on the map. ing signs that quote site-specific rap lyr- is a big part of that. Hip-hop is territo- that where they’re standing – that par- How long the signs will stay, nobody ics and then installed them in the places rial. “A lot of rappers [have their] block” ticular point – is mentioned in a song.” knows. Shells admitted to Animal, “I the lyrics mentioned, making an unof- Shells says. He’s bringing that to life by To a passing rap nerd, the signs are an don’t care if people take them, I would ficial walking tour of New York rap pairing the real world with the places of awesome tribute to a culture they love take them, I hope people take them … folklore. Accompanied by culture mag legend. Rappers are bigger than life and and are a part of, an ode to heroes pres- But fuck it, it’s my gift to you, take ‘em.” Animal, Shells hit the streets with his so are their lyrics. He’s pulling them to ent and past. To your average passerby,

Photo: Jennifer Yiu www.honisoit.com culture CRITIQUE Dead live music Bureaucracy killed the radio star, writes Jeremy Elphick Sydney’s live music scene isn’t exactly day out, frequently hosting concerts that to the uncertainty that plagues the live ingly targeted and precise response to thriving. In the last year, the Annandale easily sell out. Despite this, the sound scene in Sydney. When asked what his the flailing Sydney music scene. In light Hotel has gone into receivership, the quality is inferior, the venue poorly set favourite venue in Sydney was, Whale of the Annandale hotel falling into re- Sandringham closed down, and most out and objectively one of the worst of named the now-closed Tone, “which ceivership, the council passed Byrne’s venues in the city have been faced with its size in the city. OAF’s only redeeming filled an important niche for live elec- live music reform in an effort to “make increased regulation on the side. At feature was the Gallery Bar which often tronic music.” The venue “closed sim- Parramatta Rd the official live music the same time, other venues are almost served as the venue for smaller Sydney- ply because the landlord felt they got a district of Sydney” citing the influ- eclipsing their fallen contemporaries. based bands in an intimate setting, how- better offer,” with regulations and loca- ence of New Orleans. Essentially, the GoodGod, a small CBD-based club, ever, even this has shifted in a new direc- tion barely playing into the equation. live music district would, in definition, has managed to surpass the city’s regu- tion. Yet Midian has been closed down On the whole, alongside the lack of have a sense of stability and legitimacy lations, hosting packed out sets from and Oxford Art Gallery is flourishing. smaller venues, these issues remain at that Sydney’s music scene has never Radiohead’s Thom Yorke, and Major I spoke to Marcus Whale, one half of the forefront of the live music debate in truly experienced. Lazer, rising to a lauded position with- Sydney-based group Collarbones, and Sydney. For instance, GoodGod Small Whether Leichardt Council’s reform in the community in the process. The no stranger to the city’s live music scene. Club operates under a license where will herald in a new age of Australian one word completely disconnected After supporting PVT at the Oxford the bar is able to remain open until 5am music in a similar vein to the lauded from Sydney’s live music scene is stabil- Art Gallery several weeks ago, and hav- on Friday and Saturday nights, yet de- golden era, where one could see Mid- ity with new venues popping up every ing played gigs at GoodGod, the Stan- spite booking artists on a similar scale night Oil, The Saints, Hunters and Col- month as older ones fade away at the dard and more, Whale was able to drop of fame to those the Annandale books, lectors, Nick Cave, and the Dirty Three same time. some insights on the workings within this the club has thrived while the latter has at local bars, is yet to be seen. The col- The recently closed-down Midian, a scene stating that “on one hand, the issue faced regulation after regulation. The lective consciousness of the musical venue forced to operate illegally due to is mostly a shortage of smaller venues Annandale dilemma poses a straight- side of Sydney has, however, reached live music restrictions in Marrickville, that are less expensive to book in particu- forward question: is it still possible to an agreement: things need to change. offered a setting where bands played lar, but larger venues too, which means have a successful live venue in a residen- intensely involved sets while the sound they’re often booked three months in tial area? quality in the venue frequently out- advance.” Whilst Whale acknowledged Led by Mayor Darcy Byrne, who shone most of its contemporaries. On the issues of “regulatory constraints” he played an influential role in establishing the other side of the city, the Oxford brought attention to the presence of a the Labor Loves Live Music campaign, Photo: Darren Lesaguis Art Factory (OAF) operates day in and myriad of other issues which contribute Leichardt Council has started a surpris- Looking back on the Film Festival Brad Mariano explores the link between the University of Sydney and the Sydney Film Festival

The Sydney Film Festival (SFF) cel- tion, which had been around far longer, also the last. Looking back at the first Festival. Many of these are now consid- ebrates its 60th birthday this year. New showing ‘talkies’ from as far back as SSF the film choices are strikingly rel- ered classics – as important and varied efforts to celebrate and document the 1929. So a location near the CBD, with evant; at a stage in the history of cin- as Kurosawa’s Seven Samurai, Kubrick’s history of one of Sydney’s most impor- appropriate facilities and a mutual inter- ema where critical attention was placed Dr Strangelove and Haneke’s Funny tant cultural institutions reveal that a est in promoting the art form made Syd- onto classics of the medium, the first Games are just a few of the untold num- significant part of its history is inextri- ney University a natural choice, and the SFF showed retrospective screenings bers of films by major artists that were cably linked with that of our own uni- first SFF in 1954 was a 4 day affair, with of two great silent films – Carl Theodor shown at the time of their release, not to versity. In a city with extremely limited screenings held in the Wallace Lecture Dreyer’s The Passion of Joan of Arc mention recent efforts like Malick’s Tree opportunities for revival screenings of Theatre, Holme Building, Old Teach- (1928) and Buster Keaton’s The General of Life, Anderson’s Moonrise Kingdom, classics and few distribution compa- ers College and in subsequent years, the (1927), along with more contemporary Zeitlin’s Beasts of the Southern Wild, nies or screens committed to showing Quad’s Great Hall. It stayed there until films. Notably included were some of and Haneke’s Amour, which all had their many of the cutting edge foreign and moving to bigger venues in 1967. Da- the biggest names in world cinema Australian debut last year at SFF. independent films, the SFF has become vid Stratton, who was festival direc- at the time, like Roberto Rossellini’s Of the countless great films sure to the bastion of preserving film culture tor for the better part of two decades Germany, Year Zero and curi- grace our screens this year, not much is in Sydney. All of this from humble and has a good anecdote: in a ous gambles that history known as yet – the only ones confirmed sandstone-clad beginnings. rather pathetic attempt to has since vindicated at this stage are Stoker, the gothic hor- Inspired by previous models around steal USYD’s thunder, in – the unknown Jour ror which marks the English language the world (particularly Edinburgh) and 1964 UNSW attempted de Fete, the first film debut for Koren Chan-wook Park (of looking to fill the void that was the starting a rival film festi- of Jacques Tati. These Oldboy fame/infamy), the curious The dearth of quality film screenings in Syd- val – the inaugural UNSW great selections would Act of Killing about those complicit in ney, a committee was set up to form an affiliated film festival was go on to define the Film the killings of alleged communists by inaugural festival. The University of Indonesia’s military regime in the Sydney was known for having made 60s who act out their past in the efforts towards the same end for many style of their favourite films, the years. The Sydney University Film documentary Miss Nikki and the Group (now Film Society or ‘Film- Tiger Girls, about Burma’s first Soc’) of which the first SFF director, girl pop group and German hit David Donaldson, was a member, was Oh Boy about a down and out founded in 1947. There was also slacker whose life changes by a a USYD Film Society dedicated series of random encounters. Stay to the more technical side of posted for more announcements film projec- at www.sff.org.au

‘Case of Artificial Anus in the Loin’ 13 culture @honi_soit

Ballet, Russia and OPINION acid attacks Luca Moretti looks at the dark side of the Bolshoi Sergei Filin was a principal sex were included in an anony- of reality and performance as obvious dancer for Moscow’s famous Bol- mous mass email. Homosexual- as in ballet. The grace and elegance on shoi Ballet; he is now its artistic ity is accepted among Russian stage only come from painful rehears- director. At 11pm on January 17, dancers but is not tolerated in a als, injuries, years en pointe and often Filin was attacked as he walked Russian public figure, and Yanin anorexia. In the past, dancers suffered from his Mercedes to his apart- quickly resigned. There were lost childhoods as the result of the tyr- ment building in Moscow. The further rumours of ballerinas anny of the state. In recent years this attacker’s face was covered as he being pressured to act as escorts has probably been replaced by the tyr- threw a vial of sulphuric acid at to rich donors, who have bank- anny of domineering fathers. Filin’s face. Losing his sight, Fi- rolled a recent 1 billion dollar Dmitrichenko is known for his por- lin shouted as he staggered and restoration of the theatre. trayal of passionate, strong roles, most rubbed snow onto his face. Doc- In Russia, ballet is popular recently Ivan the Terrible. Were those tors now believe the snow, and among a much wider section of performances only possible because Sergei Filin before the attack. the fact that it was -23˚C that night may the population. Details of the Bolshoi of some madness of his own? Can we roles are well-recorded. Dmitrichenko have saved some of Filin’s sight. operations were discussed widely in the separate the dancer from the dance? is described by colleagues as having a On March 5, police arrested Pavel Russian press well before the acid at- Some of Dmitrichenko’s colleagues “fiery temper” and is in a relationship Dmitrichenko and two accomplices. tack in January. The Bolshoi has always have questioned his confession. They with ballerina Anzhelina Vorontsova, Dmitrichenko is a dancer at the Bolshoi been representative of Russia, whether say that he may be unstable but he is whom Filin refused to cast in a number and the alleged ‘mastermind’ of the at- Tsarist, Stalinist or Putinist. And this incapable of the crime he is accused of. of glamorous roles including Odette/ tack, if such a word is appropriate for story of violence, vendetta and vice is a Many believe his words were forced, Odile in Swan Lake, the role Natalie such a brutal and simplistic crime. He morality tale for contemporary Russia. and in Russia’s justice system that sort Portman’s character grapples with in stares out from his mug shots like Ma- In all art there is a separation of of practice are not hard to imagine, al- Black Swan. caulay Culkin staring out from one of product and process, and often a dark- though near impossible to confirm. Perhaps more interesting is the con- his mug shots. ness to the process without which the Ballet is creativity with an unadulter- text of the Bolshoi’s grubby internal The next day Dmitrichenko confessed product would not glow. We do not see ated display of human motion. It is operations. Gennady Yanin was ex- to paying an ex-convict 50 000 rubles the hours Michelangelo spent watching sport without scores, statistics and loy- pected to be appointed artistic director (about $1600) to attack Filin, but not to dissections, but the results are there on alties getting in the way, and now it has when Filin was given the job. That is, use acid. Dmitrichenko’s disagreements the Sistine Chapel’s ceiling. another twist in its backstory that is ev- until explicit pictures of him having gay with Filin over finances, rehearsals and In no other discipline is this divorce ery bit as extraordinary as the art itself.

TOP 5 Top 5 things inspired by astrology For more predictions, call Edwin Montoya Zorilla

Ronald Reagan’s day-to-day schedule Nancy Reagan, a Cancer (nup, I don’t like the connotations either), then first lady, was a big believer in astrolo- 5 gy, and had a personal astrological advisor called Joan Quigley. After the assassination attempt on her husband in 1981, she became very influential in organis- ing her husband’s schedule, perhaps more influential even than any Presidential secretary before her. Perhaps the worst to come from that was a false sense of security that may have interfered with the practical steps the secret service could take in protecting Reagan.

Wall Street omnishambles According to US reports, over 300 Wall Street traders are paying around $237 a year to subscribe to financial astrologer Karen Starich’s newsletter. While the decisions of traders and economists may seem to be guided by factors as arbitrary as the stars, at least a semblance of rationality is 4 important to maintain stability in the markets. Financial markets rely on confidence, and the causal cycle this creates means predictions can become self-fulfilling prophecies. Apparently the most important hint from the newsletter is not to trade when Mercury is in retrograde, which is three times a year because communi- cations tend to breakdown at that time and you get many accidental sales. I wonder how those times match up with the timeline of the financial meltdown.

Jung’s theory of synchronicity In formulating his influential psychological theories of archetypes, Carl Jung, a Cancer, also delved into various forms of mystical beliefs to better understand the symbols that pervaded the cultural unconscious. He came upon the Zodiac and at some point decided that he ob- 3 served a correlation between his patient’s symbolic depictions and the Zodiac. This is where I empathise most with believers in the Zodiac- everybody at some point needs some kind of beliefs in personality types to organize their lives and relationships. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, for example, very popular on social media, although based on purportedly objective psychometric data, stemmed from this tradition.

Farewell, Rangoon Than Shwe, an Aquarius, and the former head of the Burmese junta who ruled the country for almost 20 years using “psychological warfare” against his people, always loved to consult his stars. In early 2005, the government’s favourite astrologers saw his star falling and predicted the regime 2 would do so too unless it moved house. On November 4, he ordered all government workers to be ready to move in two days, and as of the 6th, Pyinmana became the new capital, forcing geography students the world over to re-check Wikipedia. Some also attribute Burma’s change of road orientation in 1970 to zodiac beliefs. According to the junta’s astrologer, Burma had simply gone politically too far left. The quest for baby Jesus According to many religious historians, the Three Wise Men had a strong belief in astrology, which at the time was considered a science, and the birth of Jesus coincided with an astrological phenomenon, denoted in the Bible by “the Star in the East”. This phenomenon could have been 1 one of many, depending on astrological accounts, such as the appearance of Jupiter and Saturn in the same place in the sky at the same time, the alignment of Sirius with the three bright stars on Orion’s belt, or the end of the Roman Winter Solstice. Many Christian astrologers still believe that we are living in the Age of Pisces and that the dawning of the Age of Aquarius will signal the second coming of Jesus Christ.

14 An Outbreak of Foodborne Botulism Associated with Contaminated Hazelnut Yoghurt www.honisoit.com culture

PROFILE I could just tell he’s the best comic. I P R O F I L E got onto the phone to him, but he told me ‘Mate, I’ve got no time!’, he was fly- ing out of Britain in two days to do Yes Man with Jim Carrey. I was desperate, so I said ‘Just give me a day, we’ll go to a house, bring some ideas. We’ll film some,’ and he agreed!” While heading up ComedyBox, Dan also began devising a new radio pro- gram alongside John Lloyd and Richard Turner, called The Museum of Curios- ity, a show themed around bringing to light everyday interesting people. Dan says the idea struck him as a result of Cameron Smith hunted down a guy that has worked with Jimmy Carr, on QI, and has recorded with Paul his work on QI. “During the research I McCartney. Let’s find out just what the hell is in this man’s coffee started going to a bunch of lectures, just Born in Hong Kong to a British It was on that piece of paper I threw in ing for QI, watching the show trans- to take notes. At one of the lectures, I mother and an Australian father, Dan the bin!’” form into one of the most successful saw Alastair Fothergill, the director of Planet Earth, and he was hilarious. I Schreiber was just one of many who left Fortunately for Dan, the cleaners programs on British television. After the state upon its handover to China. the fifth season he decided to try some- had the thought, maybe you could do a were incompetent and he was able to panel show where these academics are Migrating to Sydney’s north shore, it recover Lloyd’s number. The two met thing new. Bouncing around jobs, from was here that he developed a love of as funny as the comedians?” comedy, stumbling on a collection of The idea was put to the BBC, who old comedy novels in a local bookstore. accepted it with some trepidation. “It Chasing this passion, Dan decided to was such a weird format to pitch. Effec- give the HSC a miss at 17, instead devel- tively it’s a comedy panel show, and oping a stand-up routine as his gradu- they’d say ‘Great! What comedians have ating project. “I knew I wanted to do you got?’ We’d say, ‘Oh just interesting comedy,” he says. “The one thing I’d people.’ They’d say, ‘Okay, but you’ve never been interested in was stand-up got teams right?’ ‘No teams.’ ‘Points?’ and I don’t know why but I thought I’d ‘No points.’ Any kind of format they try that. I wrote a one hour show. Hav- understood, we didn’t have it.” ing never seen a stand-up show, I fig- Despite its unconventional format, ured that’s what you do! It all went well the program has been widely successful. enough.” With hosts such as Bill Bailey and Sean At 18, looking to the UK as a possible Lock, and guests including Terry Pratch- springboard into a comedy career, Dan ett and Buzz Aldrin, the most recent lucked a flight to England when visiting season has been drawing around two his grandparents. But it was while stay- up for a drink, and quickly discovered working on a book with Jimmy Carr million listeners per episode. Despite its ing with a relative outside Oxford that they shared a lot in common. At just to developing show ideas for the BBC, list of big name guests, it’s the small and his stars truly aligned, as Dan crossed 19, Dan was offered a job by Lloyd as Dan eventually found himself at War- unheard-of experts Dan believes are the paths with one of the biggest names in a book collector for his new project, QI. ner heading up an online start-up called real drawcard. comedy. It was a natural fit for Dan, and his ComedyBox. Describing the venture, “The consistent thing people say is “It was the most amazing thing!” he keen interest in his work soon landed Dan explains, “The whole idea of they’re not interested in the celebrities, recollects. “My Aunty came home from him a research role on the show. “As ComedyBox was to fund people who they’re interested in tuning in and going, work one day and mentioned she’d met a result of buying these books I’d wouldn’t be given money by TV sta- ‘I’m about to be introduced to someone one of the producers of Blackadder. I get really interested and start reading tions, to make comedy sketches.” I’ve never heard of, but whose books said ‘Oh, there was only one producer, them,” he says. “I was invited to one of During his tenure, Dan produced a I’m going to buy now,’ and that’s what I love about it.” John Lloyd,’ and she said ‘That was it! I the meetings and I just started spouting series of sketches with comedian Rhys told him you want to get into comedy, out some of the stuff I’d read. John just Darby, better known as Murray from and he gave me his number for you.’ went, ‘Fine, be a researcher then’.” Flight of the Conchords. Dan recalls, “I’d You can see The Museum of Curiosity on Then she went white, and said ‘Oh no! Dan spent the next four years work- heard the radio series of Conchords and the iTunes store.

How was the band formed? Comp last year help you? condensed to a slow vibration – that we Like Lars and James from Metallica, we We travelled to Adelaide for the national are all one consciousness experiencing met through a musicians’ classifieds. We final and met some nice winery owners itself subjectively. There’s no such thing shared similar tastes in music and there which is great because my old man only as death, life is only a dream, and we’re was a basic understanding that we would drinks wines from the McLaren Vale, so the imagination of ourselves. We’d pre- not attempt murder on each other. I stocked up on plenty of presents. sumably do a song with John Farnham We met a guy in Sydney who tells for the soundtrack. What’s your approach to live shows? us he is ‘involved’ in the industry and We play songs! Depending on the posi- might be able to ‘get us some spots’ milkk.bandcamp.com / facebook.com/milkk tions of the astral bodies our set will but I’m fairly certain he is a beer rep vary, but repetition will form a constant. who doesn’t drink. He actually got us a MILKK gig somewhere in town recently where What inspires you artistically? someone got naked. Can you put a price Who are you? Rich experiences with nature, familiarity on those sorts of opportunities? Milkk is Luke Bozzetto who plays elec- with others and good art. A good rock tric guitar and is a freelance teacher, Paul autobiography will always inspire a new If you could score an imaginary Jaffe who plays electric guitar and is a riff will spill out. film, what would the film be about? barista, and me Cameron Whipp. I play Probably a film about a man who real- drums and study Education at USYD. How did wining the USYD Band ised that all matter is merely energy

Brechtian Hip-Hop: Didactics and Self-Production in Post-Gangsta Political Mixtapes 15 culture @honi_soit Sweet charity: the rise of crowd funding

Chelsea Reed raises some funds

Musicians are doing it for themselves. the only way to run a successful cam- Gone are the days of hoping to be dis- paign. Simple, right? Apparently not. covered at a gig by a suited A&R man, “You can see it in the success rates cigar in hand. … heart-felt campaigns will rake in big A revolution is brewing in the un- bucks for an established artist … A pret- derbelly of the music scene. And it all ty bland campaign by Björk failed to get comes down to two things: the artist and anywhere near its target … Eskimo Joe the people who like them. ran a pretty sad campaign. I mean really, A lot of us have heard of Amanda you need money to record an album in Palmer’s highly successful crowd fund- the studio you already own? Give me a ing campaign. For Palmer and other big break.” name artists such as Ben Folds, Björk For the rest of the sceptics out there, and even Eskimo Joe, crowd funding is there may still be some unanswered more of a statement than a challenge. questions. And that’s understandable. These artists are revolting against their There’s lots of money being exchanged, labels, breaking down the wall between as well as trust. the artist and fan and making the re- It’s a big move for an artist to put cording process interactive – something themselves into the hands of their fans. the fans can feel a part of. But hopefully it will be the groundswell But for the not-quite-as-big (yet) art- the industry needs, the hurricane that ists amongst us, the idea is daunting. Af- will leave record labels and their suited ter all, they are relying only on people A&R reps behind in the dust. who like them to help fund their project, “I hope it strikes a bolt of fear into the and if this idea doesn’t call up any in- heart of an industry that has spent way securities or doubts, then we have one too long forgetting the artist is actually egotistical muso on our hands. the more important part of any deal.” Sydney based singer/songwriter Bren- Crowd funding: because money doesn’t And for the less sceptical, it can only grow on trees (.... or does it?). dan Maclean decided to take on the be a good thing. The rise of crowd fund- challenge, in the form of a campaign ing means less over-hyped publicity by through the crowd funding website ers will attest to. But his humble nature and fear. To be honest, I almost pulled labels and flash-in-the-pan indie bands Pozible earlier this year. meant he was a “hardcore sceptic” of my campaign because I was terrified I who disappear as quickly as the next one Maclean has been a mainstay of the crowd funding. wouldn’t make a cent. But you discover takes their musical chair. inner city scene for several years and re- “I think we’ve all found ourselves after a while that it’s not the overall idea Independent artists can now remain cording an album seemed like the next frustrated by the endless Facebook of crowd funding that is good or bad, just that – independent and in control. logical career move. posts about funding someone’s poetry it’s how individuals use it.” Just as long as people like them. Brendan is likeable, funny, and talent- zine or a conceptual banjo album but a Like Amanda Palmer, Maclean be- ed, something his loyal twitter follow- lot of that cynicism comes from envy lieves that connecting with your fans is facebook.com/brendanmacleanmusic

GAME REVIEW Star wars in Hazard Rush Justin Pen raises some funds

Surreal Street’s Hazard Rush is the score possible, the player must lure en- a white-hot apocalypse? While not all games lay as many sweaty yet slick love child of arcade folk emy hazards near blue orbs and trigger Other game types include ‘Pacifism’, golden eggs as Angry Birds, Rovio’s heroes Snake and Asteroids. explosions – in turn, converting hazards ubiquitous, runaway success, Passarello Set over a background ripped straight into high scores and point multipliers. remains hopeful. Quite modestly, he ex- from your cool friend’s galaxy print “... do you play plains that game development is “more tights, the player controls a tiny, white of a hobby than future career path.” triangle navigating through hordes of conservatively and pick off Technology, however, is certainly pav- ‘hazards’ to the tune of a thumping a few antagonists at a time, ing its own landscape for content-cre- synth, bass and drums soundtrack. or do you accrue a hornet’s ators and entrepreneurs. A labour of late-night love, Hazard For Passarello, though, video games Rush is the inaugural release by third nest of hazards and then are worth more than the dollars and year Arts/first year IT student Andrew run them straight into a cents they generate. “Though, Hazard Passarello. A dabbler and contributor white-hot apocalypse?” Rush isn’t necessarily one,” he says mod- to several open-source game projects, estly, “There are countless games that Passarello embarked on his first solo en- in which you navigate your way through easily qualify as high-quality art.” deavour in late 2011. And in this simplicity lies the desk- an increasingly precarious asteroid belt, The game’s most generic mode, ‘End- flipping catch: do you play conserva- and ‘Rush’, the only mode available in Hazard Rush is available now on iOS, less’ also demonstrates, ironically, its tively and pick off a few antagonists at a the free-to-play release, which sees the Android, Windows, and Mac. greatest creative flourish. Charged ex- time, or do you accrue a hornet’s nest of player blow up as many hazards as can clusively with achieving the highest hazards and then run them straight into be blown up in a two minute time limit.

16 The Finger in the Urine www.honisoit.com

Special Consideration Ask Abe

What if I am sick for What if I am sick for an assessment or the supplementary Hello Abe, examination? Is examination or there any way not every assessment to get a fail? in a subject? Is Even though it’s still really early in the semester I still feel that I’m heaps behind. I’ve got more assign- You can apply there any way ments due than I know how to deal with. I’m starting for a Special not to get a fail? Consideration. YOU to feel really stressed and finding my studies are Go to the website SHOULD NOT suffering even more – it’s a vicious cycle. Can you give me some ideas that for your faculty F GET A FAIL – will help me? and download the assuming you have application form. See documented why you Busy your doctor (or if yours is could not attend/complete not available, any doctor) and get your each assessment and successfully Professional Practitioner’s Certificate applied for Special Consideration, as Dear Busy, about the possibility of withdrawing (PPC) completed. This needs to be outlined in the policy. from a subject. This may attract an aca- This is the time of the semester when on the same day that you are sick and What is the policy? demic penalty, but you can at least check should not be backdated. Unfortunately many students start to feel the pressure If they reschedule your exam and out what your options are. this does mean that if you are very sick of assignments being due. Deal with assessments, but you are too sick (for you cannot just stay at home and wait each of those aspects one step at a time. A final word of caution, when stu- example) to attend any again, and until the next day to go to the doctor. you apply for special consideration Talk to your tutor now to see if you can dents feel pressured they can sometimes Your doctor should also give a brief each time and your applications are arrange an extension. Talk to someone be less vigilant about referencing and description of the things that you are approved each time, you should not in the University’s Health Service (Level proper paraphrasing when they write unable to do, eg, attend university, leave receive a “fail”. Instead you should be 3, Wentworth Building) or Counselling essays. If you know that you are cut- bed, sit up for longer than 10 minutes, awarded a DNF grade. etc. and Psychological Services (Level 5, ting corners it is best to get help before A DNF is a Discontinued, Not Jane Foss Russell Building). handing your essays in. Talk to a lecturer, If you have a valid PPC, and the doc- Fail. Compared to a Fail (or Absent tor has assessed that you are severely the Learning Centre, counsellor or SRC Fail or Discontinued Fail), a DNF is The Learning Centre runs free courses affected or worse you should almost caseworker and ask for help. This is bet- good for your transcript and good for time management. This can help certainly be granted special considera- ter than putting in an essay you know is for your Annual Average Mark and you get your uni work under control tion. Be aware that you do not have to not up to your usual standard and then good for your Weighted Average Mark while still having a social life. Check out provide more details about you condi- (WAM). being found guilty of plagiarism tion if you would prefer to keep that their website at http://www.usyd.edu. confidential. SO if you can’t do any of the assess- au/stuserv/learning_centre. They also Abe ments in a subject this semester, or in Remember that Special Consideration have online resources for you to work the future, and you have successfully Abe is the SRC’s welfare dog. This column offers is for a temporary illness, misadventure through in your own time. It’s all really students the opportunity to ask questions on applied for special consideration EACH or exacerbation of a long term illness. commonsense stuff but makes a real anything. This can be as personal as a question TIME, then check that your mark is on a Centrelink payment or as general as a It is not for long term illnesses per se. question on the state of the world. Send your recorded as a DNF. You should also difference when you follow it. That should be dealt with through the questions to [email protected]. Abe gathers apply to have a refund or recrediting of If you’ve done all of these things and his answers from experts in a number of areas. Disabilities Unit. Coupled with his own expertise on dealing with your fees. Ask at the faculty office or still can’t cope with your workload you people, living on a low income and being a dog, the SRC for the appropriate forms. Abe’s answers can provide you excellent insight. might like to talk to an SRC caseworker

For undergraduate Free Sydney Uni Students

FREE legal advice, representation in court and a referral service We have a solicitor who speaks Cantonese, to undergraduate students at The University of Sydney. Mandarin & Japanese • Immigration Advice • Credit and debt 法律諮詢 • Tenancy law • Administration (gov) law 法律アドバイス

• Credit & debt • Victims compensation NEED a Justice of the Peace? • Discrimination & harassment • Consumer complaints Our solicitor will certify documents & witness statutory declarations • Traffic offences • Domestric violence Appointments • Criminal law • Insurance law Phone 02 9660 5222 • Employment law • University complaints Drop-in sessions (no appointment needed) • And more ... please ask us Tuesdays & Thursdays 1pm-3pm Location Students’ Representative Council, University of Sydney Level 1 (basement) Wentworth Level 1 Wentworth Building, Uni of Sydney Building, City Road, Darlington 02 9660 5222 | www.src.usyd.edu.au | ACN 146 653 143

Long pants in winter = 10. Long pants in summer = 20. Long pants when naked = 50. 17 SRC @honi_soit

[email protected] President’s Report Students’ Representative Council, David Pink talks about student activism University of Sydney Notice of SRC COUNCIL Wow, what a whirlwind week of activ- there exists a culture of anti-democratic, inac- ism it’s been. We’ve pulled off a suc- cessible and inept student organising, we call MEETING of the 85th cessful two day strike with the NTEU for a broad student movement from outside the Students’ Representative and CPSU. We had a National Day of cadres of aspiring parliamentarians and Council Action that saw hundreds of students union bureaucrats. The CCEAN will mobilize at UTS and march to Sydney provide support to students in their efforts to Uni to help build the pickets. We sat organise autonomously with advice, solidarity, down on City Rd and shut down traffic. and within our means material assistance. We Date: Wednesday 10th April It was amazing. will also support such efforts to organise on a Time: 5pm national and global scale.” Across the country Sydney had the Location: The Professional most successful and well-attended In Hope, National Day of Action. In my opinion The Cross Campus Education Action Boardroom Quadrangle Network Our tutorials are packed. Our Building this was because it wasn’t constrained courses are being cut. Housing costs a by hierarchical organising and was We need to organise now. Our educa- limb. Many of us cannot afford proper Directions: Entrance instead fueled by a genuine grassroots tion has been under attack for decades nutrition. We have to choose between through Nicholson Vestibule movement. CCEAN, the primary body by successive neoliberal governments, having enough money and enough (near the Nicholson Museum). that organized for the National Day of and the attacks by the coming Abbott time to study. We’re stuffed with titanic Up the stone stairway turn left Action in NSW, agrees. It passed the government will probably be more debt that takes years to repay and that enter the door at the end of following motion for consideration by severe than any that preceded it. The many of us never will. We’re resent- the passage education activists around the country: point of the CCEAN motion is that we ful, stressed, we’re bubbling, seething. “The CCEAN calls for the formation of need to start organising ourselves rather It’s time to bring together our anger autonomous rank and file networks in states than waiting for others to do so, and on and begin to build mass organisation. and regions across Australia. We call on these our own terms. The era of student poli- Everything we had, like free education, Students’ Representative Council, networks to fight back effectively and without tics being run by self-interested hacks had to be fought for. We can win it The University of Sydney bureaucracy against the brutal attacks of all fighting for a career, rather than by stu- back, and more. 02 9660 5222 | www.src.usyd.edu.au major parties on education. Where currently dents fighting for a future, must end. General Secretary’s Report [email protected] Dylan Parker let’s us in to the SSAF allocations

Hey, SRC: $1,420,000 means I can begin to finalise the budget Frankly, the situation is by no means So I’ve been holding off on any SSAF SUPRA: $1,000,000 for the 85th Council. ideal because with new funds being raised the SRC deserves to be bet- and budget related reports until we CSG: $605,000 Look, I’ve said it before USyd’s SSAF received more of an indication from the process isn’t perfect. In fact, its not even ter funded. We provide vital services University in regards to our 2013 fund- SUSF: $3,763,401 great. The University has the power to students and should be expanding ing. On Friday, we finally received the USU: $3,110,000 over your money and student organisa- them. However, the good news is that this reduction won’t result in any sig- SRC’s funding outlook from the Uni- Student Support Services: $305,000 tions are forced to play along. Last year versity for 2013, so from now on I can we had to negotiate between ourselves nificant changes to our overall opera- get a little nerdy. TOTAL: $10,203,401 over a fixed figure and the Univer- tions. Our caseworkers, legal service, publications, and second-hand book- In total, USyd student organisations So for 2013 this means that the SRC sity substituted historical funding with store are going to keep on being awe- will be allocated $10,203,401 in SSAF will receive $1,420,000 in SSAF funds, SSAF student money. A large new injec- some for another year. funds, with the breakdown between a reduction the $1,493,093.64 in 2012. tion should have been possible. organisations being: From a budgeting perspective this Vice-President’s Report [email protected] Amelie Vanderstock writes an open letter to the student protesters Dear Students on the picket fence, vote to stop University operations. course administration wishes to isolate We are all at university to learn. We The choice comes when our classes students and staff when they are the are able to do so because we are for- are running. Perhaps, like me, you are of very body placing the educators, and tunate and intelligent enough to be to a faculty such as science, where univer- quality of our education at risk. here, to expand our minds and think sity corporatization is less threatening But even the Vice Chancellor’s debas- about the ways of the future. We hence because it is more ‘economically profit- ing email cannot mask our right as stu- understand that academic freedom, ant- able’. As such, these staff may feel less dents to support the strike: discrimination laws and job security personally endangered, so choose to “No student will be penalized if their are fundamental to an equitable, qual- continue teaching. But although these class does not take place or if they are ity teaching and learning environment. subjects are vital, they need not run at unable to attend their class” We can’t possibly disagree with these the expense of future working condi- Striking is a legitimate reason for endeavors. But, we still allow ‘political tions of all staff on campus. being unable to attended class. We can- neutrality’ or fear of short term aca- Still, as students who value our edu- not be penalized. demic disadvantage to stand in the way cation, concerns with missing valuable The SRC is here to support you make of our value for a worthy and fair edu- classes cannot be overlooked. Unre- the choice not to cross the picket line. cation institution? corded lectures, compulsory tutorials, If you feel you are being unjustly dis- on an NTEU strike day. If the Uni- Striking is a polarizing choice. There assessable laboratories…we feel by advantaged, the SRC Case Workers can versity continues to refuse negotiation is no politically neutral ‘grey zone’ when skipping these we’ll miss out on core help you. Email [email protected] with the NTEU on fair teaching condi- it comes to crossing a picket line. content, or be unfairly disadvantaged. or come see us in the SRC office (Base- tions, there will be another. It is easy not to go to class when our The Vice Chancellor capitalized on ment of Wentworth building). To cross or not to cross a picket line classes are cancelled. That choice is these concerns when sending every The SRC values your education as is an active, polarizing choice, and we made for us by our lecturer who is strik- student an email painting the strikes as you do, and hence asks all students to ask you to choose to act in solidarity ing in solidarity with a majority union an “inconvenience” to our studies. Of choose to stay home, or join the picket with your teachers.

18 Gap year spent in Australia = 10. Gap year spent overseas = 20. Gap year spent with super awesome Contiki friends = 50 www.honisoit.com SRC Education Report [email protected] Education Activists tell us about industrial action in USYD and beyond. No apologies. No regrets. from what they’re talking about? Yes, I am here to learn some theory, yes, won conditions fought for by others The actions of the last few weeks this includes Honi, the emails from but also to create social relations upon in the past; rights you enjoy today and shocked some people. They went USYD management, student commen- which I can realize my existence to the will probably not complain about in the beyond the polite pattern of protest in tators and any other organization or fullest of my ability and to conceive with future. And if you did not know, you the university. Many people wanted an individual that claims to understand or others a future beyond the pressing limi- know now. argument coherent to their liberal sensi- represent the whole or ‘true’ situation. tations of contemporary society. Wide participation in this debate is bilities of freedom of choice promoted We are not some homogenous mass – I don’t care if you’re completing your needed but it can’t be wrapped in some in the neo-liberal orthodoxy. We are we aren’t only students, staff, socialists, PhD, if you study medicine, or if you sexy-hipster-‘feel-good’ packaging for expected to maintain a polite relativ- anarchists or ‘fly-ins’. And even if we do get upset and write an angry article people to consume; it cannot be com- ism but there is nothing polite about identify with these labels, we are more for the next edition, you are not above modified with wristbands. It cannot be the impositions of management and the than them. We are diverse and complex other students and staff that care and another product in the aisle of convic- effects they have on the lives of people and we disagree amongst ourselves. take part in the conflicts of the univer- tions, campaigns and causes if it is to that work with us everyday. If we don’t have the time to think or sity. Nor can you choose to be neutral be an honest process that sets the basis If we are as critical and intelligent as talk about this shit, without all these in the debate and ‘just want to learn’. for a community that creates and liber- we suppose ourselves to be, why do stu- mediators, classifications and gener- Your actions have power and you either ates knowledge instead of being a space dents and staff gain their ideas about alisations, how are we going to change undermine workers by crossing pickets for the spectators and consumers of its what is happening in the university out things? or you don’t and if you do, you are a marketisation. of the bullshit, misrepresentations and I am not at university to make an scab. People sacrificed their wages and Education is a process not a commod- glib summaries from the privileged, self- ‘investment’ in my ‘me first’ future pros- time; they put their career and their ity. interested and those completely removed pect, to make an economic transaction. freedom in jeopardy to guard the hard- Women Officers’ Report [email protected] Emily Rayers talks about colleges and the NUS ‘Talk About It’ survey CLEO magazine may not be the most aspects of the behaviour of the student and forces them to be transparent. We traditional source of reliable or feminist body. need external systems for handling journalism but this month’s Undercover Processing and articulating my dis- complaints and opportunities for stu- at O-Week feature certainly hit the nail comfort with various things that dents to lodge anonymous or general on the head for me. While news cover- occurred during my college experience grievances without naming perpetrators age of college culture always involves an was very difficult at the time due to the or identifying themselves. Speaking up element of sensationalism and relies on pressure from the Student’s Club and in college means ostracizing yourself a weird fascination with young adults as from admin to keep all complaints insu- from your peers, and the majority of 18 opposed to genuine concern for their lar and never to speak to media. In a less year olds – myself included – value fit- wellbeing, I have no doubt that the official manner the separation of college ting in above speaking out. information presented by the media is students from ‘Muggles’ creates a social I urge all women students, whether uncomfortable with any of them. true and comes from honest sources. situation where your good friends are living at university accommodation or Find the survey at https://www.sur- I attended two of the Sydney colleges, other college students and doesn’t foster not, to participate in the ‘Talk About It’ veymonkey.com/s/talkaboutit2012 and starting at a mixed college fresh out of discussion with external viewpoints. It is survey developed by the National Union help us to make this campus a safer and high school and returning 18 months also really difficult as someone new to of Students. This is the second time the more respectful place for all students. later to a single sex college. I look back party culture and to university and col- survey has been open for submissions If you are interested in being more on my college experiences with mixed lege to separate the fun, excitement and and it is vital that we have a significant involved in Women’s Collective or emotions, feeling grateful for the oppor- adventure from the aspects of it that number of responses to work with. All would like to contribute ideas or infor- tunity to make lifelong friends, nostal- frighten or worry you. questions need to be answered in order mation for our campaigns email usyd- gic for the excitement of the first few In order to allow students in university to submit but feel free to answer with [email protected], tweet Wednesday nights at the Sals (the bar accommodation to speak up we need a ‘I do not wish to answer’ or ‘I have no @SRCwomens or join our Facebook at St Paul’s) and discomfort with many system that holds colleges accountable response for this question’ if you are group ‘USyd Women’s Collective’. Ethnic Affairs Officers’ Report [email protected] Marijke Hoving let’s us know about the refugee rights campaign

This is a particularly crucial year for “distressed and confused about their from across the country will converge newly acquired information back onto the refugee rights campaign. With the situation. They are closed in detention on the Northam detention centre to campus. return to the dark days of Howard’s without a process in sight. They feel draw attention to the injustice of Aus- To coincide with the convergence Pacific Solution and the looming federal they have been forgotten.” Refugee tralia’s refugee policy. The prospect of there will also be a protest at the Villa- election, we need all the support we can policy has become a race to the right, an Abbott government implementing wood Detention Centre on Sunday the get to fight for humane refugee policies with both sides of politics disgracefully even harsher policies makes this even 28th of April and ARC will be organiz- that welcome boats, rather than deter competing over who can be harsher on more important. The Northam deten- ing a student contingent to the protest. them. refugees. But we can fight this, by build- tion centre, two hours outside of Perth, By joining the protest students can show The reintroduction of offshore pro- ing a broad political campaign outside Western Australia, opened in June last their opposition to this racist refugee cessing last year has had nothing but det- of parliament. year. Close to 600 asylum seekers have policy and their support for the vulner- rimental effects on asylum seekers. The An important event for the Anti-Rac- been detained there since. Northam is able people currently locked up in Vil- detention centres on Manus Island and ism Collective (ARC) and the wider ref- part of a group of detention centres lawood. isolated from the big population centres, Nauru are already in crisis, with reports ugee campaign each year is the national If you’re interested in joining the meaning asylum seekers are kept ‘out of of hunger strikes, lip stitching and sui- convergence, which this year will be held pro-refugee movement, or want any sight, out of mind’. This is an invaluable cide attempts, not to mention disease at Northam detention centre over the more information, ARC holds meetings opportunity for students to collaborate and mental illness. Richard Towle from ANZAC weekend (Thursday 25 April every Tuesday at 11am on the New Law and discuss pressing issues of refugee the UNHCR has recently reported that to the Sunday 28 April). Students from Lawns. the asylum seekers on Manus Island are ARC, along with refugee rights activists rights with other activists, and bring

Android = 10. iPhone = 20. Rotary-dial handset kept in briefcase = you just fucking win, alright 19 puzzles @honi_soit fin

QUICK CROSSWORD Across Down

1. Breed of dog seen in Monopoly (8,7) 1. Traffic calming feature of the road (5,4) 8. Narrow margin (7) 2. Work too hard (9) 9. Enlarge beyond bounds (9) 3. Boiler used to make tea (9) 10. First name of great Argentine soccer player (5) 4. A system of beliefs accepted as authoritative (6,2,7) 11. A counter where you can get food/drink (3) 5. Sequence of digits that is exchanged (9,6) 12. The lowest atmospheric layer (11) 6. Feeling great sexual desire (vulgar) (7) 16. A show or display (11) 7. More devoid (7) 19. A mixture of gases required for breathing (3) 13. Come to terms (7,2) 20. Writer of Confessions Part II (5) 14. Cause to feel self-conscious (9) 21. A non-spatial whole extending in space without 15. Strong black coffees (9) interruption of substance (9) 17. Alter to make a more desirable appearance (7) 22. Vessels used for urination (7) 18. Like some relationships (7) 23. Bill Gates and Oprah, for example (15)

Zplig

How long is the longest longline fishing T Which nations cover territory What band did Bob line (what a mouthful)! Hint: a longline What is the As of 2010, what is R that spans across continental Katter pelt with fishing line is one where multiple hooks the percentage of boundaries? Contiguous highest record Australians opposed I eggs in the 1960s dangle from the main fishing line. territory only (i.e. doesn’t count distance for a to early abortion in V if the nation owns or occupies due to an intellectual any circumstance? I an island or country in another disagreement with skydive? continent). Hint: there are only their cultural status? A six of these countries. ANSWERS NEXT WEEK!

WHAM, BAM, A N A G R A M ! Easy

H a r d Use the shaded letters to answer the riddle Easy Q: What happens to illegally parked frogs? H a r d A: They get

Across Down 1. High ranking nuns start maintaining recently 1. Misattributes mosque with its revolutionary (9) CRYPTIC CROSSWORD past saints’ hollow wood, say, for each individual 2. Filmmaker’s art is celebrated by a reformed born without limbs (7,8) nation (9) 8. Surre, and Alabama is like a dream! (7) 3. Chosen to overturn Sir Charlie’s indoor and, 9. German play about lieutenant Browser may be apparently, dead vehicles (9) the most defective (9) 4. 4 down is an example of this? (4-11) 10. An unnerving tenor is an observant one (5) 5. Unsupported peacekeepers fill in an encrypted 11. To expose private information is unfashionable data set holding initials of Northern Terrorist (3) investigators (15) 12. That renders foolish, that is in-fertile. You 6. Impressive Unity worker is beaming (7) overheard that half? I need good beginnings... 7. To extend beyond the length of baseball (11) failures with short camera techniques (7) 16. Fabrics used for securing small amounts of 13. Soothing charm all around is returned after a money (11) slow start (9) 19. Logical constant lacks a model to distress (3) 14. Devil rec centre of demoiselles is quite off (9) 20. Enraged Irish terrorists first took-over 15. Accost gambling devices inside to become England’s Western front (5) most eager for wealth (9) 21. Killer captures the core-less Rochester musical 17. Having an Israeli style of Rabbi get confused organisation (9) amidst the beginnings of the Holy English 22. Theism is nice when without a single mess, Church and expelling a bishop (7) like that seen during perilous circumstances (4,3) 18. Restrain characters from the freshmen 23. Mocked angel went crazy for recognition (15) chainsmokers (7) Zplig

20 Bumsters, Big Black Organs and Old White Gold: Embodied Racial Myths in Sexual Relationships of Gambian Beach Boys fin INSIDE: ANDREW THE BOLT’S PRIVILEGE FREE! CHECKLIST FOR WOMEN, QUEERS, AND PEOPLE OF OIN COLOUR! S SOIN EXCLUSIVE FOURTH BOB KATTER: WORLD COLUMN UNOCCUPIED UNTIL BECOMES GREEK ADVENT OF AUSSIES COLUMN

Former independent MP and how Australian society developed flying their Aussie flag proudly current leader of Katter’s language, and is therefore on the bonnet of their car.” Australia Party in the House of responsible for the development Representatives Bob Katter, has of the Indo-European, Sino- “And don’t get me started on declared that the world was Tibetan, Afro-Asiatic, and every currency ... if it wasn’t for unoccupied until the advent of other language family. those Aussie sheep shearers, Australian society. we’d probably be trading on the “And that’s fair dinkum!” arbitrary value of livestock and While promoting his sequel to vegetables.” An Incredible Race of People, the While visibly staggering on the recently published A Fucking stage, holding a half-empty The Soin was unable to contact Incredible Fucking Race of Fucking bottle of VB, Katter attempted to the MP on whether or not he Top People, at a university explain how larrikinism, diggers, meant before Indigenous society debating championship, Katter and the Southern Cross tattoo or white settlement, and whether made the statement to a mix of were integral in the War of the he believed in ethnic variations outrage and confusion. Roses, the Industrial Revolution, through historical, geographical, the Declaration of the Rights and biological evolution. “This world was nothing before of Man and Citizen, and the Australia … literally, no one was Mahabharata. However, in the Good Weekend here before Aussies were.” magazine, he announced that “Mate,” Katter addressed blankly there is a good chance he is the “The wheel? Holden. Mead? to the back of the room, “we product of “Negroid, Mongoloid, Fosters. Irrigation? Bugger, just wouldn’t have the Westphalian and Caucasoid miscegenation.” come to North Queensland.” system of government or the Hindu-Arabic numeral system if “But I’m goddamn Aussie first.” Katter also proceeded to explain it wasn’t for those brave battlers

REVEALED: EASTERN AVENUE ACTUALLY ON THE EAST-NORTH-EAST SIDE OF CAMPUS [@THE_SOIN] 2DAY FM PRERECORDS, NOT ‘2DAY’ [@THE_SOIN] 21 THE SOIN Pro-Liberal before the ALP was EXCLUSIVE UPDATE ON IRON THRONE ELECTIONS With Iron Throne elections cold next to a giant wall,” one campaign manager and mother fast arriving, citizens have antagonised Northerner said. and aunt refuses this accusation. declared their disinterest with the voting process, stating their Rumours indicate potential The favourite for the election, indifference to the continuous secessionist movements in the however, is Stannis Baratheon. self-entitlement and arrogance North and the Iron Islands, Running under “Stannis the Man- of candidates. where growing distrust towards nis!”, Stannis has a considerable the authoritarian nature of the college and conservative base. Responses to our poll, “Do you Iron Throne is leading to mass However, his religious fervour for care who becomes the King anger. Balon Greyjoy, King of the Lord of Light will most likely of the Andals and First Men, the autonomous Iron Islands, alienate progressive voters. Lord of the Seven Kingdoms, has also stated he is prepared to Protector of the Realm?”, invade the North as a matter of Other candidates include indicated an extensive antipathy ‘intersectionality’. Daenerys Targaryen, the Mother towards the empty policies of of Dragons. Pundits have noted past candidates. Despite these problems, officials that Daenerys has a strong from the Iron Throne are chance of bringing back the optimistic about the elections. Targaryen faction’s control of the USU, alongside its current control “This is a great opportunity for citizens to get involved in Robert Baratheon – a part of the their civic experience,” King ‘soft’ faction of the Baratheon Joffrey Baratheon said. Joffrey faction – has resigned from the is understood to be seeking race after being knifed by his re-election, despite mob attacks caucus, and left dead on the One anonymous respondent and popular revolt earlier in the floor. said, “I don’t need more fucking year. bars or parties”, while another Finally, in an exclusive scoop, presented a scathing critique “Citizens should understand that The Soin has been informed of of the process, stating: “this their vote matters … we listen, attempts of the Grassroots- fraudulent election hides the true which is why we’ve implemented Wildlings faction to organise motivations of these candidates: bigger parties!” a coup of the Iron Throne. to expand their resumes and Their demands include direct centralise power within the democracy, non-hierarchical kingdoms.” collective ownership, and literally eating the rich. Centralisation was a broad concern among citizens, with In other news, the Sydney Northerners expressing disgust University Liberal Party has at the Iron Throne’s breach of of the SRC, due to Affirmative denied a connection to the the Northern autonomous space. Rumours that Joffrey is born of Action regulations and her two White Walker movement, a incest and is actually part of fire-breathing dragons. group encouraging resistance “They just don’t have the lived the Lannister faction continue to against reverse racism, despite a experience of living in the fucking dog his campaign, although his A former favourite of the Throne, crossover in executive members.

Letters to the Editors Dear Soin,

I’ve never heard of that movie I’m sup- posed to be in. Is it about me? Because if so, my name is Bana, not banner. It’s a common mistake.

Love, Eric Bana.

Dear Eric,

muahahahhaahaha.

-The eds.

22 ‘TRICKLE DOWN’ ECONOMICS POLICY A FALLACY: IT’S JUST URINE, RUNNING DOWN A WHITE MAN’S LEG [@THE_SOIN] THE This week The Soin ruthlessly abused the brains of Rafi Alam, Stella Ktenas, Mariana Podesta-Diverio, Cameron Smith, and Lucy Watson and the body of Eric Bana. Thanks Eric! SOIN

Show off your heterosexuality with this magazine chock full of ripped sweaty shirtless men! How Steroids Sure-fire ways can help you to make her look more like the scream in bed: Break into her house while she’s sound asleep! Statue of David:: Tell her that her family’s dead! From chiselled pecks Wake her up while wearing a hockey mask! to tiny cocks!!

10 TRICKS FOR PERFECT BICEPS! 1. LIFT. 2. LIFT. 3. LIFT. ... 10. REPEAT. Negging Five new exercises to make your A great way for people with a personality like yours to get a girl!!! penis really INCREASE YOUR stand out!! DEFINITION OUR GUIDE TO PURCHASING HD TV’S. What she means when she says no! (Hint: she means no)

‘TRICKLE DOWN’ ECONOMICS POLICY A FALLACY: IT’S JUST URINE, RUNNING DOWN A WHITE MAN’S LEG [@THE_SOIN] HOMOPHOBE CONFUSES HOMOPHONES, ACCIDENTALLY OFFENDS SMOKERS BY CALLING THEM FAG-SUCKERS [@THE_SOIN] 23