Awe’reR communicatingCADIA

WELCOME TO AMERICA

Arcadia Productions WELCOME TO AMERICA

Main Characters Luca Ricci Italian immigrant Official Immigration Official Narrator Statue Statue of Liberty Vito Vito Corleone, The Godfather Al Al Capone Horace an Elvis Presley look-alike Doris a waitress in a diner John a banker from San Francisco Gary a banker from San Francisco President President of the United States of America Mrs Jones The President’s oldest member of staff Neil Neil Armstrong, the first man on the moon Director Director of NASA Fred silent film director Valentino Rudolph Valentino

WELCOME TO AMERICA by Graham Spicer © All rights reserved

ARCADIA PRODUCTIONS s.a.s. via Vespri Siciliani 16/4, 20146 Milano tel: 02 4231459 www.arcadia.info

1 Welcome to America

NOTES FOR TEACHERS

Welcome to America is an introduction to American life and history. While touching on many of the topics that Italian school teachers cover in the classroom, it does so in a fun way: entertaining and educative.

Politics is kept far away from the script, though various moral issues are mentioned, and parts of the American Constitution - similar to that of the Italian Constitution and many others - are used which contain the universal principles of equality and freedom. In this context, Abraham Lincoln and the abolition of slavery, and Martin Luther King and the end of segregation, are presented to the audience.

There are scenes about some of America’s greatest achievements (space research, Hollywood), some of its stereotypes (cowboys, mafia bosses), its music, fast food, and so on. During the “Multimedia Tours” between scenes we see and hear American life with its nature, cities, monuments, history, icons, etc. All of this is seen via the story of an Italian immigrant who has arrived in New York to find the American Dream.

Spellings throughout are in British English, not American. Pronunciation is with a very light American accent to make every word clear, though in some parts (the cowboy scene and the mafia scene) use is made of regional ac- cents for comic effect.

2 Arcadia Productions ACT ONE

ELLIS ISLAND

In the main reception hall on Ellis Island. A United States official is finishing questioning a young Irishman.

Official What is your destination Mr O’Brien? Where do you want to go in America? O’Brien I’m going to Boston, Sir. I’m a labourer; I’ll help build the new roads. Official Good. Well, that’s the last question, Mr O’Brien. (he stamps a piece of paper and gives it to him) Welcome to America! Next!

O’Brien exits. Luca Ricci has arrived from Italy and is the next in line.

Official Good morning Mr…? Luca Ricci… Luca Ricci. Official (writing) L-u-c-a R-i-c-c-i. Age? Luca 35. Official Height? Luca 1.77m. Official (he looks at a chart) That’s… err… 5 foot 10 inches. Colour of eyes? Luca Brown. Official Hair? Luca Brown. Official And can you read and write, Mr Ricci? Luca In Italian I can. English it is not so easy. I am learning. Official How much money do you have? Luca 25 dollars. Official What is your job? Luca My job? Official Your occupation. What do you want to do in America? Luca I’m a cook. Official Spaghetti? 3 Welcome to America

Luca (he laughs) Yes, spaghetti… but many other things too. Official And are you married Mr Ricci? Luca Yes, Sir. Official Children? Luca Yes, Sir, five. Three girls and two boys. Official Are they here with you? Luca No Sir, they are in Italy. I hope that they will join me next year. Official So why did you leave your wife and children and travel more than 4,000 miles to come to New York?

We hear a short extract of the song “The American Dream” and see images of America at the beginning of the 20th Century: Statue of Liberty, Ford Car, people working in offices etc

MUSICAL NUMBER: THE AMERICAN DREAM (from “Miss Saigon”) What’s that I smell in the air… The American dream? Sweet as a new millionaire… The American dream? Pre-packed, ready-to-wear… The American dream? Fat, like a chocolate éclair, as you suck out the cream, Luck by the tail! How can you fail? And best of all, it’s for sale, the American dream!

Official Mr Ricci… Mr Ricci… MR RICCI! Luca (awakes from his dream) I’m sorry. What did you say? Official Mr Ricci, why did you travel more than 4,000 miles to come to New York? Luca I want to live the American Dream. Official And what is the American Dream? (Luca takes a piece of paper out of his pocket) What’s that? Luca Words from the Declaration of Independence. It says, “… all men are created equal”; it says that all people have the right to “Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness”. Official Very good, Mr Ricci. Luca Abraham Lincoln was born in a log cabin, his family lived in just one room, and he became President! Official Yes, you’re right. Luca That’s the American Dream… that’s my dream.

4 Arcadia Productions

Official You want to become President of the United States of America? Luca (he laughs) No, Sir. I want to work hard. I want to have my own restaurant. I want my family to be healthy and happy. Official That’s a good dream. Luca Sorry for my English. Official You speak English very well Mr Ricci. Complimenti! There, you see, I too have learnt a little Italian. Every day I meet Italians… Germans… Russians. Hundreds, thousands, no millions are coming to America. What is your destination Mr Ricci? Luca I want to stay here in New York. I want to work in a restaurant. Official Well, that’s the last question. (he stamps a piece of paper and gives it to Luca) Welcome to America!

The song The American Dream starts again and finishes the scene. The office disappears and Luca is left alone in the darkness.

The Narrator, talks to the audience.

Narrator This is the beginning of Luca’s American adventure. The year is 1922. More than 4 million Italians came to live in America before Luca. He left a small Italian town and is now about to enter an enormous American city: New York, home to 3 million people.

We see an image of a crowded street in 1922.

This is Mulberry Street, an area of New York that everyone calls “Little Italy”. 10,000 Italians live here. Luca has been studying and he has learnt English, but most people who live here only speak Italian. They eat Italian food, wear Italian clothes… it really is a “Little Italy”. Luca now has a document that says that he is a legal immigrant. He can leave Ellis Island.

As Luca walks out of the building, he sees the Statue of Liberty.

5 Welcome to America

The Statue of Liberty Narrator Next to Ellis Island is the Statue of Liberty. It was the first thing that Luca saw from the boat. She welcomes immigrants arriving from abroad, and she holds the American Declaration of Independence… It is Luca’s dream: “All men are created equal”, all men should have the same opportunities in life.

The Statue of Liberty speaks to Luca.

Statue You’re looking worried. Luca You speak? Statue Sometimes, when I feel like it! So why are you worried? Luca I’m scared. Statue Why? Luca This is too much for me. I come from a small Italian town. There are too many people here, it is too far from home, everything is too… big! Even the statues are too big! Statue Sorry. Luca No, you’re beautiful, but… big! And maybe the American Dream doesn’t exist. Statue Remember Abraham Lincoln! Luca Maybe it doesn’t exist for me: I’m 6,000 kilometres away from home, in a country I don’t know… it isn’t a dream, it’s a nightmare. Statue What’s changed? You were excited before. Luca I’m scared. I’m worried. If this doesn’t work out, what will I do… what will my family do? Statue But it is working out, for millions of people. Luca Is that true? Statue Sure, it’s true.

The Narrator speaks to the Statue. Luca doesn’t hear them.

Narrator He seems downcast. Statue He’s nervous. This is a big adventure and he’s all by himself. Narrator Then let’s show him that it will be ok. Statue How? 6 Arcadia Productions

Narrator Let’s show him America. America in his time – 1922 – and America now… my time. Statue A tour? Narrator Yes, a tour! He can see what America is, and what it will become. For good and for worse. Statue The successes… Narrator And the failures. Statue We can show him the cities… Narrator Nature… Statue Presidents… Narrator Film stars… Statue Technology… Narrator Music… Come on Luca. Smile. Things will be ok. Statue Luca… Welcome to America! Narrator Welcome to New York!

MULTIMEDIA TOUR: NEW YORK

We hear a medley of songs about New York and see images of the city as it is today: skyscrapers, Times Square, Ground Zero and so on, and at the end we go back in time to the early 1930s in Little Italy.

LITTLE ITALY

The Godfather, Vito Corleone, is eating lunch in Ciro’s Trattoria in Little Italy, New York. He has a large plate of spaghetti in front of him. Johnny, the waiter, is grinding pepper on it.

Vito Johnny, get me the phone will you? Johnny Yes, Godfather.

Johnny returns with the phone.

Vito Dial Al Capone in Chicago?

Johnny dials. Al Capone appears and answers the phone.

Al Yeah? Vito Al Capone? Al Yeah…

7 Welcome to America

Vito Hi Al, it’s Vito Corleone. Al Godfather! How’s Little Italy? Vito Fine, fine. And the Windy City? Al Chicago’s just great Vito. Vito Business? Al Ok. But it could be better. Vito It can always be better Al... I’ve got a plan. Al Yeah? Vito Yeah. You… me… a collaboration. A partnership. Al You want to steal my customers? Vito Al, do I seem like a dishonest man? Would I step on your territory? Would I steal your clients? Al Yeah Vito. Yeah, I think you would. Vito Al, have faith. Just come and join me for dinner; hear me out. Al Is this a trap? Vito Al, I’m telling you, it’s a business proposition. Al Why don’t I believe you, Vito? Vito Al… Al! Come on, a little fiduccia. What business are you in right now? Al The usual. Bootlegging... Vito Illegal whisky! Al ...and gambling. Vito Illegal gambling! The old-fashioned mafia. I have an idea for a modern mafia. Al A modern mafia? Vito Yeah, that’s right. So, are you coming to New York for dinner or not? Al Tell me more. Vito Over dinner… Ciro’s in Little Italy. 8 o’clock. Tomorrow night. Al Ok Vito, Ciro’s. 8pm. No tricks. Vito No tricks. A domani. Al Ciao Vito.

The next day at Ciro’s Trattoria: Vito is sitting at the table and Al enters.

8 Arcadia Productions

Vito Al! Al!

They do the stereotype greetings that are seen in American gangster films.

Sit down and join me. Al No thanks Vito, I’m not hungry. Vito I’m not going to poison your food. Sit down. Al I’ll stand. Vito Ok, ok. You do what you want. I’m hungry. Johnny!

The waiter arrives to take his order.

Spaghetti al pomodoro, Johnny, and a glass of water. Johnny Yes, Godfather. Al So what is your proposition Vito? Vito Slow down. We’ve got all evening. Don’t you boys eat in Chicago? Al Tell me your idea. Vito Well, Al, I think you can help me. Al And why should I help you? Vito Friendship. Al Friendship? Vito Yeah, friendship!

MUSICAL NUMBER: FRIENDSHIP (from “Anything Goes”) If you’re ever in a jam, here I am, If you’re ever in a mess, SOS, If you ever feel so happy you land in jail, I’m your bail,

It’s friendship, friendship, Just a perfect blendship, When other friendships have been forgot, ours will still be hot.

If they ever black your eyes, put me wise If they ever cook your goose, turn me loose If they ever put a bullet through your brain, I’ll complain

It’s friendship, friendship, Just a perfect blendship, When other friendships have been forgit, ours will still be it!

9 Welcome to America

Al Ok, so what’s the idea? Vito All right, all right. You know Harry Winston, the jewellers on Fifth Avenue? Al Of course, everyone knows Harry Winston’s. Vito Well, they have a diamond necklace in the window worth 30,000 dollars. I want that diamond necklace. Al Ok. (interested; he sits on a chair) You gotta a plan? Vito Yeah. You wanna to eat? Al Just tell me the plan. Vito Ok. We will get Rubberface Rino as the driver. He will wait in the getaway car opposite the jewellers. Al Ok. Vito Then you, Al, will go into the jewellers and ask to see the necklace. Al Yeah? Vito While you are looking at the necklace, Fatman Franco will go into the jewellers with 30,000 dollars in his pocket. Al Then? Vito Then he’ll give you the money and you will give the money to the jeweller. The jeweller will give you the necklace and and you and Fatman Franco will walk out of the shop. Al But I…? Vito Don’t interrupt me. You get in the getaway car and Rubberface Rino will drive you her, to Ciro’s trattoria. You will enter the trattoria, join me at this table, and give me the diamond necklace. Al That’s it? Vito What do you think? Al I don’t get it. Why do we give the jewellers the money? Vito Well they’re not going to give us a diamond necklace if we don’t pay for it, are they! Al No… that’s why we steal it! Vito Steal it? But that’s illegal! Al Yeah. Vito You can’t steal things, Al. It’s wrong. Al What? Vito Times have changed… we’ve modernised. 10 Arcadia Productions

Al Look Vito, we go in there with a gun… Vito A gun? Are you crazy? Guns are dangerous! Al But… Vito This is the modern mafia. Al Well, we could smash the window of the jewellers and grab the necklace… Vito Smash and grab? Someone could cut themselves on the broken glass. Al But… Vito This is the modern mafia: no stealing, no guns, no violence. Al (Al slumps into his chair) So how do we get money? Vito I’ve thought about that… Al …and…? Vito …we work. Al Like a real job? Doing what? Vito I’ve thought about that too. We’re both good with money, so I thought we could work in a bank. Al I understand. We work at the bank and after a few weeks we blow up the safe and steal all the money. Vito No. After a few weeks, they give us an envelope with money inside. Al Ah-ha… but why? Vito It’s called a wage packet… busta paga. Al Why don’t we just run off with all the money to South America? Vito I’ve already told you, stealing is illegal, and this… Both …is the modern mafia. Al Johnny, I need a drink. Bring me a whisky. Vito Al! Al Oh yeah, whisky is illegal. Vito Bravo. Al Johnny, bring me a glass of water. Vito (to Johnny) Make that sparkling water, Johnny (to Al) It’s my treat. (he starts eating his spaghetti) Al Vito? Vito Yes?

11 Welcome to America

Johnny pours Al a glass of water, which he drinks.

Al What’s the diamond necklace for? Vito Tomorrow is my wife’s birthday. I want to give her a nice present.

Al starts choking, and grabs at his throat.

Johnny. Johnny Yes, boss? Vito There’s a problem with the water. Al seems to be choking. Did you give him sparkling water? Johnny Yes, boss.

Johnny gives Vito the bottle, he turns it round, and we see the label, “Poison”. Al collapses on the floor.

Vito Oh Al… the modern mafia? (he and Johnny laugh, and sing) It’s friendship, friendship, Just a perfect blendship, When other friendships have been forgot, ours will still be hot.

MULTIMEDIA TOUR: MUSIC

A montage of American popular music moving from the black music of spirituals to jazz to rap; country music; pop music from Frank Sinatra to Katy Perry; finishing with the King of Rock and Roll, Elvis Presley.

AT THE DINER

The lights come up on an American Diner. It’s the 1960s and Elvis Presley is King!

A waitress, Doris, is serving food and a man, Horace, who is dressed like Elvis, sits at a table by a jukebox. He puts on a record and Elvis sings “All Shook Up”; all the music at the beginning of this scene is sung by Elvis; Horace never speaks.

“All Shook Up” A well I bless my soul

12 Arcadia Productions

What’s wrong with me? I’m itching like a man on a fuzzy tree My friends say I’m actin’ wild as a bug I’m in love I’m all shook up!

Doris Good evening Sir, welcome to The Happy Diner. Would you like to see the menu?

Doris has a big cut-out smile that she holds in front of her face after every sentence; she gives him the menu and goes to get cutlery. Horace puts on another record.

“It’s Now or Never” It’s now or never, Come hold me tight Kiss me my darling, Be mine tonight Tomorrow will be too late, It’s now or never My love won’t wait.

Doris (she returns) Elvis! The King! So, have you decided, Sir? May I take you order? (smile) “Love Me Tender” Love me tender, Love me sweet, Never let me go. You have made my life complete, And I love you so.

Doris That’s impossible, you’ve just met me… Love me tender, Love me true, All my dreams fulfilled. For my darlin’ I love you, And I always will.

Doris (getting angry) Please Sir, we’re very busy today. I need to take your order. (smile) “Don’t Be Cruel” Don’t be cruel to a heart that’s true. 13 Welcome to America

I don’t want no other love, Baby it’s just you I’m thinking of.

Doris (shouting angrily) Stop it! I need your order! (smile) “Love Coming Down” If you can find it in your heart to forgive me I’ll try to keep both my feet on the ground

Doris Good. So what would you like to order, Sir? (smile - she reads the menu) We have hamburgers, cheeseburgers, chicken burgers?

Horace points at the menu.

Doris Hamburger. And would you like it rare, medium-rare or well- done?

Horace points.

Doris Medium-rare. And would you like it with lettuce? Bacon? Tomato? Onion? Pickles? Cheese? (Horace points one by one, until he has chosen all the fillings) And what would you like on it: mustard? Mayonnaise? Ketchup? Relish? (again he chooses them all. Doris reads back the order quickly). Right, so that’s a hamburger, medium-rare, with lettuce, bacon, tomato, onion, pickles and cheese, with mustard, mayonnaise, ketchup and relish. And what would you like to drink? “Shake, Rattle And Roll” Well I said shake, rattle and roll, I said shake rattle and roll.

Doris Ok, so that’s one milkshake. Flavour? “Tutti Frutti” Tutti Frutti, aw rooty, tutti frutti, 1aw rooty , Wop-bop-a-loom-a-boom-bam-boom

Doris Very good, Sir: a tutti frutti milkshake. “Shake, Rattle And Roll” Well get in that kitchen Make some noise with the pots and pans 1 aw rooty = all right 14 Arcadia Productions

Doris Yes, Sir. Coming right up! (she goes into the kitchen)

Horace goes towards the audience.

“I’m All Shook Up” My hands are shaky and my knees are weak I can’t seem to stand on my own two feet Who do you thank when you have such luck? I’m in love, I’m all shook up

Horace sits at his table. Doris arrives with an enormous hamburger! As she puts it in front of him, she repeats very quickly his order.

Doris Here’s you are: a hamburger, medium-rare, with lettuce, bacon, tomato, onion, pickles and cheese, with mustard, mayonnaise, ketchup and relish, and a tutti frutti milkshake!

Horace presses a button on the jukebox and drops to his knees in front of Doris.

“You Don’t Have To Say You Love Me” You don’t have to say you love me Just be close at hand You don’t have to stay forever I will understand.

Doris presses a button on the jukebox, and the songs she chooses are sung by Barbra Streisand. They have a conversation in song.

“Down With Love” Down with eyes romantic and stupid, Down with sighs, down with cupid. Brother let’s stuff that dove, Down with love! Horace “Can’t Help Falling In Love” Wise men say only fools rush in but I can’t help falling in love with you. Doris “No More Tears (Enough Is Enough)” Enough is enough is enough I can’t go on, I can’t go on no more no.

15 Welcome to America

Horace “Blue Suede Shoes” Well, you can knock me down, step in my face, Slander my name all over the place. Doris “So Long Dearie” (from Hello, Dolly!) Goodbye, Goodbye, Goodbye. Don’t try to stop me Horace, please... Wave your little hand and whisper So long dearie You ain’t gonna see me anymore Horace “Don’t Leave Me Now” Don’t break my heart This heart that loves you They’ll just be nothing for me If you should leave me now Doris “I’ll Know” (from Guys And Dolls) I’ll know when my love comes along I’ll know then and there... Horace “You Don’t Have To Say You Love Me” You don’t have to say you love me Just be close at hand.

Horace takes Doris’ hand.

Doris “He Touched Me” He touched me, He put his hand near mine And then he touched me. Horace “All Shook Up” She touched my hand what a chill I got Her lips are like a volcano that’s hot I’m proud to say she’s my buttercup I’m in love, I’m all shook up! Doris “Taking A Chance On Love” Here I go again I hear those trumpets blow again All aglow again Taking a chance on love

16 Arcadia Productions

Doris and Horace press the same button on the jukebox (and Presley and Streisand sing a duet)

“Love Me Tender” Love me tender, love me dear, tell me you are mine. I’ll be yours through all the years, till the end of time.

They both hit another button and to the music of “Jailhouse Rock” they dance together as the scene finishes.

MULTIMEDIA TOUR: NATURE

We see a film compilation of the American landscape. Luca was right, everything is big: Niagara Falls, Yellowstone National Park, the Mississippi river, deserts, mountains, lakes. We finish in the desert near the Grand Canyon and see images of Native American Indians, cowboys, gold-diggers, and an old Western town.

COWBOYS

John and Gary are visiting a Ghost Town in Arizona. There is a large cactus, a saloon, a horse etc. John enters and Jimmy follows him nervously.

John Well, here we are! Gary Where? John Stone Creek. Gary And why are we here again? John We talked about this. Gary Remind me, because right now it doesn’t seem a good idea. John We’ve left the city and come to Stone Creek to remind ourselves how life was for the early pioneers in America: no running water, no television, rattlesnakes… Gary Sounds a bad idea John. John Don’t be afraid partner! (he says in a Southern accent) Gary Why are you speaking like that? John That’s how cowboys used to speak. 17 Welcome to America

Gary We’re not cowboys. John Just for today we are. Come on, put on this waistcoat, the scarf, the hat… (they get dressed as cowboys) Gary It seems dangerous to me. John Dangerous? No one lives here, that’s why it’s called a Ghost Town. Gary Ghosts? John It’s called a Ghost Town because no one lives here anymore. It’s abandoned. Gary Then why is smoke coming out of that chimney. John It’s stuff they do for the tourists. See that cactus? It’s just plastic. See that rock? It’s made of polystyrene. Gary It looks real to me. John Well, of course it looks real, stupid. Gary Why don’t we go to Las Vegas? It’s just 5 miles away. Come on… electricity, taxis, restaurants, showers… (he sniffs under his arm) Eurgh, these clothes stink! John Gary, you have no spirit of adventure. Thank goodness you weren’t a pioneer. Gary I like to be comfortable. John Put on the boots. Gary John please… John Hurry up.

Gary takes of his shoes and picks up a boot.

Gary Phew John! What an awful smell. Where did you get these? John They were in the saloon. Gary Are you sure that we can just take them? John Of course, they’re for the tourists. Gary Ok. (he puts on the boots and walks very uncomfortably) Can’t I wear my trainers? John Shut up Gary. (John opens his guide book and reads) “Stone Creek was a mining town from the 1860s…” Are you listening Gary? “There’s gold in them thar hills!” Gary Will you stop doing that ridiculous cowboy accent? John Sorry. (reads) “There was a bank, a hotel, a general store, 18 Arcadia Productions

and a saloon. The saloon served miners, fur-trappers, gamblers and cowboys.” That’s us. Gary No John, that’s not us. We are two bankers from San Francisco. John Gary, you can be so boring! (we hear a metal plate fall on the ground) Gary Did you hear something? John What? Gary There was a noise. There’s someone in the saloon. John It’s probably just the wind. Or a rat. There must be hundreds of rats. Gary Rats? This is meant to be a holiday! And I definitely heard a noise. (he starts backing away, nervously looking at the entrance of the saloon) John (reading) “The town was abandoned in 1940 after the gold ran out.” You see, there’s no one here but us.

Gary keeps walking backwards and reverses into the cactus. He yells.

Gary Aww! John What is it now? Gary The cactus. You said that it was plastic! (he turns round and he has cactus needles sticking out of his bottom) John (laughing) You look like a porcupine. Gary For the tourists… hah! It’s not plastic, John, it’s real. John Ok, keep calm… and keep still. (he plucks the needles out of Gary’s bottom) Better? Gary Just perfect! Come on let’s go. (he turns to leave) Agghh! John What now? Gary A snake! (we hear a rattle) It’s a rattlesnake! John Gary… Gary Yes? John What is it? Gary A rattlesnake! John Yes, but made of…? Gary Plastic? John Yes, a plastic rattlesnake for the…?

19 Welcome to America

Gary Tourists? John Good Gary. Listen, “Rattlesnakes rarely bite unless provoked or threatened; if treated promptly, the bites are rarely fatal.” Gary Fatal! John And plastic snakes never bite, so calm down. Gary (panicking) Calm down…calm down… John Are you calm? Gary Yes. John Hey look! (John finds some tin cans on the ground) Come on, let’s do some target practice. (he lines them up on a rock) Gary What with? John With a gun stupid. (he runs into the saloon and returns with a gun) Gary John, where did you get that! John On the table where I got the clothes and boots. Gary For the tourists? John Of course. You try first.

Gary points the gun at the tin cans. His hand shakes. We hear the rattling noise again, and the snake appears on the cactus, by Gary’s head.

Gary What’s that noise? John It’s your hand shaking. Gary It sounds like the plastic snake. John Concentrate!

The rattling gets louder and Gary slowly turns and is face to face with the snake. His gun goes off and there is a scream offstage. The snake disappears.

(laughing) Not even close! My turn.

He aims, fires, and hits a can, which flies off the rock.

John There! That’s how you do it cowboy! Go on, try again.

Gary trembles, the snake appears from the cactus making a very loud rattle, and again he turns and is face to face with the snake. Slowly he backs away from it. There is a whooshing sound as an arrow flies across the stage, close

20 Arcadia Productions to Gary’s head, and sticks into the wall of the saloon. He turns quickly and his gun goes off, firing into the saloon. There is another shout.

Gary Did you see that! An arrow… an arrow! Is that for the tourists too?! John Probably. Gary John, that is not for tourists, and it’s not plastic. That is a real arrow. I’m getting out of here. There are Indians nearby. John Gary, calm down. Stone Creek is a Ghost Town.

Voices from the saloon:

Cowboy 1 Where are my clothes? My boots? Cowboy 2 Who’s stolen my gun? Cowboy 1 Who tried to shoot us? Gary Sound effects…? John …for the tourists.

Gary picks up a sign lying on the ground. It says “Welcome to Death Hollow”.

Gary John… John “Welcome to Death Hollow”. So we’re not in Stone Creek? (he opens his guide book) That’s funny, I must have turned off the road too soon… Gary This is no time for looking at the map. That’s a real arrow, that’s a real snake, and I shot a real bullet at a real Indian (he points past the cactus) and real cowboys (he points at the saloon) …and we are wearing their clothes. John And you’ve got one of their guns! (Gary yells and throws the gun to John, who throws it back) Cowboy 1 Look, there they are, and they’re armed.

The Cowboys start firing bullets from the saloon, the Indians on the other side start firing arrows. John and Gary, crouch on the ground, taking off the cowboys’ clothes, and crawl off stage saying “Sorry, sorry… big mistake… sorry…” The remaining tin cans fly in the air. Then there’s silence. John slowly and cautiously crawls back.

Gary (from offstage) What are you doing? John My guidebook!

21 Welcome to America

John picks up the book and the snake drops on to his shoulders from the cactus; he yells and throws it into the saloon; the shooting starts again. John dodges the bullets and arrows as he runs offstage. A cowboy enters laughing. Picks up the clothes and the plastic snake.

Cowboy 1 Hahaha… I love fooling tourists. (he uses the plastic snake like a ventriloquist’s dummy) “So do I!” Hahaha… (he goes into the saloon, roaring with laughter)

MULTIMEDIA TOUR: BROADWAY MUSICALS

A short montage starting with Oklahoma and other Western musicals, followed by clips of some of the most famous American shows.

BROADWAY FINALE

22 Arcadia Productions ACT TWO

MULTIMEDIA TOUR: HISTORY

A film compilation of Christopher Columbus discovering America, and other important historic events, finishing with Martin Luther King making his “I have a dream” speech in front of the Lincoln Memorial in Washington DC.

Narrator Ah yes, Luca, everyone has a dream! Martin Luther King was a leader of the African-American Civil Rights Movement, and in front of the Lincoln Memorial – Abraham Lincoln was the President who abolished slavery – he said, Luther King “I have a dream... It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream: “We hold these truths to be self-evident: that all men are created equal.” I have a dream that my four children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the colour of their skin but by the content of their character. I have a dream today.” Narrator The date was 1963. His dream was to end racism in the United States. He wanted all men, black and white, to be equal. That’s Luca’s dream too: all men should have an equal chance in life. The President in 1963 was John F Kennedy who watched the speech on TV in the White House, which is just a short walk from the Lincoln Memorial. Kennedy, too, has a dream, and was trying to pass a law to abolish discrimination based on race, colour, religion, sex, or national origin. Exactly 100 years before, in 1863, President Lincoln gave his famous Gettysburg Address. In that speech Lincoln reminded his listeners of the contents of the Declaration of Independence - the words that Luca loves so much - that all men are created equal, therefore slavery must end... and it did. Let’s see who is in the White House today.

23 Welcome to America

THE WHITE HOUSE

NOTE: This seems a complex scene in the script because it is very visual; in the theatre it is very simple to follow.

A modern President is meeting his staff to finalise plans for the White House Open Day on 4 July, Independence Day. He illustrates what he is saying with a slide-show presentation.

President Good morning everyone. I’ve called this meeting to explain to you all what we’re going to do on the Fourth of July here at the White House and in Washington DC. As you know and we are expecting many important guests. We want this to be an thrilling experience for each one of them and I have many exciting plans!

He puts on a tall hat and a jacket.

I, for example, will be Abraham Lincoln! And Mrs Jones will be Mary, Lincoln’s wife. (he calls) Mrs Jones, please come in… (pause) Mrs Jones? (nothing) She’s a bit deaf.

He speaks in the intercom

Can you send in Mrs Jones please?

The door opens and Mrs Jones enters. She is very old, and dressed as Mary Todd Lincoln.

You all remember Mrs Jones, the longest serving member on the White House staff. How long have you worked here Mrs Jones? (silence; he raises his voice) I said, how long have you worked here? Jones Nearly eighty years. President (loudly) Eighty years! So tell everyone how old you are. Jones Ninety-six. President Ninety-six! Mrs Jones will be Mary Todd Lincoln for us on the Fourth of July. (loudly to Mrs Jones) You look wonderful in your costume, but where’s your hat?

Mrs Jones hands him a large bonnet that the President puts on her head. Every time she moves it flaps around, and she has an old person’s tremor in her hands, and she walks very slowly.

24 Arcadia Productions

Perfect.

The President returns to the conference table. As he speaks Mrs Jones walks very slowly toward him with a piece of paper, which shakes and makes a noise.

So I will be dressed as Lincoln, Mrs Jones as Mary, and we will be here in the Oval Office and talk about how Abraham Lincoln brought the American Civil War to an end and abolished slavery.

Mrs Jones arrives at the table with the piece of paper. The President takes it.

My lines… thank you Mrs Jones. (she goes back towards the door very slowly) I thought I’d start with the opening of the historic Gettysburg Address, which Lincoln read in 1863 honouring the soldiers who had died at the Battle of Gettysburg: “Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.”

Oh, Mrs Jones… MRS JONES!!! (she has reached the door and she turns) Could I have a cup of tea please? (she can’t hear and walks back towards the table) A CUP OF TEA! (she carries on walking) No, stay where you are Mrs Jones. STAY THERE! (she arrives by the President) I said, could I have a cup of tea? Jones Tea? President Yes, Mrs Jones, tea. Jones Of course. You just have to ask.

She begins her long walk out of the room while the President speaks.

President So I’ll start with the speech, then we’ll show our guests some photos of Lincoln (we see the photos), his wife Mary, the Civil War and the freeing of the slaves. Then I’ll read the end of the Gettysburg Address: “…This nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom— and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth.”

(the staff applaud) Thank you, thank you.

25 Welcome to America

Mrs Jones enters pushing a trolley with teapot and cups. She starts pouring tea into a cup.

President Mrs Jones… MRS JONES!

She turns, but keeps pouring, and the tea goes all over the floor.

Mrs Jones, what do you say? WHAT DO YOU SAY?

She puts down the teapot and cup and slowly walks to the President.

So I finish the Gettysburg Address and Mrs Jones says: Jones I beg your pardon? President No, Mrs Jones, you don’t say “I beg your pardon”, you say: Jones I didn’t hear you. President YOUR LINES MRS JONES. WHAT DO YOU SAY AFTER I FINISH READING THE GETTYSBURG ADDRESS? Jones “Welcome to the White House everybody”. (the staff applaud) President Good! Can you keep this safe?

The President gives her the piece of paper and she slowly walks back to the trolley, the piece of paper shaking noisily in her hand.

Now, Peter (he points to one of his staff) will wear a George Washington costume and greet visitors by the Washington Monument, (we see a photo), which is the biggest obelisk in the world.

Mrs Jones pours the tea and takes it to the President making a loud rattling noise during the next part.

Peter will explain how there was rivalry between the North of America and the South, so the first President of the United States, George Washington, decided to create a new city to be the capital city of America.

Mrs Jones hands him the cup.

Thank you. Could I have a biscuit? A BISCUIT? Jones Yes, Sir. I’ll go and get them.

She walks slowly back to the trolley.

President This new city was not in a State, but between two States 26 Arcadia Productions

and he called this area the District of Columbia. Why Columbia? Because it was named after Christopher Columbus. The city was called Washington, after the first President, and that’s why we call it “Washington D.C.”!

Mrs Jones puts very hard biscuits on a china plate, which makes a lot of noise. Then she walks over to the President, but her tremor makes all the biscuits fall on the floor, one by one.

President Then you, Anne, will be in front of the government building, the United States Capitol (another photo) dressed as the Statue of Freedom2 and can tell our visitors about why we celebrate the Fourth of July. You will explain that it’s because it was on that day, in 1776, that America declared its independence from Great Britain.

Mrs Jones hands him the empty plate. The President gives up.

Ok, Mrs Jones. That’s all. You can go now. Jones Is that all? President YES MRS JONES. YOU CAN GO. Jones I’ll go then.

She slowly walks out with the trolley and closes the door.

President The day will finish with the traditional firework display, like thousands of other cities all over America, and the band will play The Stars and Stripes Forever. Then we will come back here for a glass of champagne. Now who is responsible for catering? (he presses the intercom) Can you send in the caterer for the Fourth of July party please?

The door opens and Mrs Jones walks in again.

Jones Yes? President Oh no! It will be the longest party in the history of the United States! Jones Another cup of tea? President Not now Mrs Jones. Meeting closed!

2 The Statue of Freedom is the statue on the dome of the United States Capitol building. 27 Welcome to America

The President and his staff exit. Mrs Jones sees that she is alone in the Oval Office, and suddenly becomes much quicker and sings and dances.

MUSICAL NUMBER: Thank God I’m Old (from “Barnum”) When you see the shape the world is in, When the way it is ain’t what it’s been, When folks just care for gold, Thank God, I’m old! When you see the way folks misbehave, When it’s only good times that they crave, When kids are much too bold, Thank God, I’m old!

MULTIMEDIA TOUR: CITIES

A film compilation of American cities is shown: Washington, San Francisco, Las Vegas etc, finishing in Houston in Texas at the NASA Headquarters. We see the 1969 film of Neil Armstrong stepping onto the moon, and he says his famous phrase: “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.”

FIRST MAN ON THE MOON

It is 1969. At first, it seems as though Neil Armstrong is on the moon surface: coming out of the Eagle Lunar Module, walking in slow motion to plant the American flag. However, it is just a set for astronaut practice. Then the Director of NASA walks past him at normal speed.

Director Still practising Neil? Neil Yes, Sir. Director Isn’t it a bit late? Go to bed. Tomorrow’s the big day! Neil I know. Director And on 21 July 1969, you’ll be the first man to walk on the moon. Neil Yes, but I’m worried I won’t get it right. Director Get what right? Neil Well… the first man on the moon. It’s a big responsibility. Director Of course it is Neil, but you’ve been through the training programme. You are prepared. Neil I know, but it’s the thought of all those people watching on 28 Arcadia Productions

television. Director Half a billion people. Neil Don’t remind me. Director Five hundred million! Neil Yes, I understood the first time. Director It will be ok. Neil But what will I say? Director What do you want to say? Neil I don’t know. Director What will you feel like saying when you step onto the moon? Neil “Yeah, I made it!” Director Neil, you say, “Yeah, I made it!” when you catch the last train home… you say, “Yeah, I made it!” when get indoors just before a thunderstorm… you don’t say, “Yeah, I made it!” when you’ve travelled 240,000 miles and landed on the moon! Try again. Neil (pause as he thinks) “Wow, it’s lonely up here!” Director Great… why don’t you just say, “Where are the Martians?” Neil But it’s the moon, Sir; Martians are on Mars. Director Neil, it was a joke. You can’t just say, “Hey, it’s lonely up here.” Come on, don’t you have any other ideas? You step onto the moon and say… Neil “Hi Mom!” Director There will be half a billion people watching! You can’t say hello to your mother in front of half a billion people! Neil Oh yeah, right. Director Think of something meaningful. Neil Errr… Director Something important. Neil Errr… Director Something that people will remember. Neil Nope. Sorry. Can’t think of anything. Director Well, go back inside the lunar module, and come out again. Maybe you’ll be inspired. Neil Ok, Sir. (he starts to walk in slow motion towards the lunar

29 Welcome to America

module) Director Neil, you’re not on the moon. Hurry up. Neil Sorry, Sir. (he runs to the lunar module) Director Ok, now come out (Neil opens the door), and walk down the steps (he does so) and put your foot on the surface of the moon. Ok, now what do you say… Neil Ow, I’ve got cramp! Director Be serious! Neil No really, I’ve got cramp! Ouch. That’s a giant step. Director No it’s not; you missed one. Neil Oh sorry… (he comes down a step) That’s better. Director So now take the last step down on to the moon, and then say something. Neil Right, so I take one small step, and then I’ll say something. Director Yes! That’s it! Neil Ok. Director No, that is it! That’s one small step for you, but it’s a giant leap for mankind. That’s what you can say when you step onto the moon. Neil Are you sure? Director It’s everything we want: it’s meaningful, important, and something that people will remember. Try.

Neil takes the small last step.

Neil That’s one small step for you, but it’s a giant leap for mankind. Director Not me! You. Neil I said you. Director Are you sure you passed the Astronaut Intelligence Test? Neil I don’t understand. Director You are a man, and you’re stepping on the moon, it’s only a small step for you, yes, but for mankind it’s a giant leap: after years of research and experiments we’ve finally done it, put a man on the moon! Neil I see. Director Try again, Neil…

30 Arcadia Productions

Neil goes up on the first step, and tries again. As he steps down we see the 1969 film again of him stepping onto the moon, and he says: “That’s one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind.”

MULTIMEDIA TOUR: ICONS

We see a montage of American Icons: the American Bald Eagle, Uncle Sam, the Dollar Bill, Baseball, and so on, finishing with movie images (Marilyn Monroe and her white dress etc), and the Hollywood sign.

HOLLYWOOD

We are on a film set in Hollywood in 1922 where the Italian heartthrob, Rudolph Valentino, is filming one of his greatest hits, “Blood and Sand”. His co-star Nita and director Fred are on set with him.

Fred Valentino, where are you? Valentino, everyone’s waiting! Valentino!

He opens Valentino’s dressing room door and Valentino is wearing a dressing gown and putting gel on his hair.

Are you not ready? Valentino I don’t think I can act today. Fred But Rudi, everyone is here: the cameraman, the lighting man, Nita your co-star... they are all waiting for you. Valentino I don’t like my costume. I feel ridiculous. Fred Why?

He throws off his dressing gown and he is wearing the costume of a toreador.

Valentino Look at the jacket… Fred …too flashy? Valentino Not flashy enough! It needs more gold, more sparkle. And look at the trousers… Fred …too tight? Valentino Not tight enough. Fred Oh… Valentino I can’t act in this. Fred But Rudi you look great!

31 Welcome to America

Valentino Do I? Fred Yes. You look magnificent. Valentino You think so? Fred Yes. Valentino Ok, I do it!

Valentino uses a last touch of hairspray, walks out of his dressing room and onto the movie set. Fred follows him and yells, “Action!” A pianist starts playing...

Valentino Stop! I cannot do it.

He returns to his dressing room. Fred follows.

Fred What now? Valentino I can’t do it. Fred Why, Rudi, why? Valentino I don’t look good today. Fred Don’t look good? Don’t look good?! Don’t be foolish. I don’t look good, not you. Every woman is in love with Rudolph Valentino: you are the most handsome movie star in the world. Valentino Not today. Fred Rudi please. I think you look good. Valentino You do? Fred Yes. Valentino Well, what do they think? Fred Who? Valentino Them. (he points at the audience) Fred What do they think of what? Valentino Do they think I look good? Fred I don’t know. Valentino Well ask. Fred Why? Valentino They are Italian, they have good taste…. buon gusto. Fred All right. (he talks to the audience) Hello, I’m sorry to disturb you but Valentino… (to Valentino) This is embarrassing…

32 Arcadia Productions

Valentino Just ask. Fred …Valentino would like to know if he looks good today. (he gets a piece of paper out of his pocket and improvises according to the schools present) Is there a school here from Verona? Kids Yes! Fred Great. Now do you think Valentino is looking good today?

The children will yell ‘yes’ or ‘no’ etc and the scene becomes improvised.

(to Valentino) There, they said you look good. Valentino I heard a ‘no’! Fred That was just someone being funny. Valentino Well, it’s not enough. Fred Not enough? Valentino I am Rudolph Valentino, the most handsome movie star in the world. I need to be more than good. Fred More than good? (Valentino nods; Fred talks to the audience again) I’m sorry, but I need your help again. Is there a school from Padua? Kids Yes! Fred Great. Now do you think Valentino is looking handsome today? (the audience calls out as before) Good. (to Valentino) You see, they all think you’re handsome, especially that teacher in the third row. Valentino (Valentino look at the teacher) Are you sure? She thinks I’m handsome? Fred She thinks you’re very handsome. Valentino But it is still not enough. Fred Still not enough? Valentino No, I am Rudolph Valentino, the original Latin Lover,3 I need to be more than handsome. Fred More than handsome? (Valentino nods; Fred talks to the audience again) Sorry, this is the last time I’ll bother you. Is there a school from Piacenza? Kids Yes! Fred Great. Now do you think Valentino is looking attractive

3 Th term “Latin Lover” was coined for Rudolph Valentino. 33 Welcome to America

today? (they call out) Valentino More… Fred Do you think Valentino is looking fabulous today? Valentino More… Fred Beautiful? (Valentino shakes his head) Magnificent? (shakes it again) Wonderful? (Valentino whispers in his ear) Ok, all of you, from Verona, Padua and Vicenza, do you think Valentino is looking PERFECT today? (they call out) There, they all said you look perfect. Valentino All of them? Fred Yes, every single person here thinks you, Rudolph Valentino, look perfect. Valentino And her? (he indicates the teacher in the third row) Fred Oh, the teacher in the third row? Yes, especially her. (he calls out to the teacher) Don’t you think he looks perfect? Teacher Yes! Valentino Ok, I do it!

Valentino uses the hairspray and goes back on the set. The music plays and Fred yells, “Action!” and instructs Valentino:

Fred You put on your toreador hat… (he does so) You put on your toreador cloak… (Valentino waves it like a bullfighter) and Nita watches you secretly. You notice her... (Valentino turns to Nita) you bow to her… you take a rose and give it to her… you say “I love you!”... (Valentino mouths silently the words) Nita says “I love you!”... (Nita does the same) and you kiss… (their lips move slowly toward each other but Valentino stops) Valentino Stop! I cannot do it.

He returns to his dressing room like before. Fred follows.

Fred What now? Valentino I can’t do it. Fred What? Valentino Kiss Nita. Fred Why? Valentino Her breath smells. (he points at the teacher in the third row) I want to kiss her. 34 Arcadia Productions

Fred You can’t. Valentino Why not? Fred She’s a teacher. She’s not in the play. You’ve got to kiss Nita. It’s in your contract. Valentino Contract… blah, blah, blah. All right, I’ll do it (to the teacher) but I’ll be thinking of you!

Valentino goes to join Nita. The music starts.

Fred You say “I love you!”... (Valentino mouths the words) Nita says “I love you!”... (Nita does the same) and you kiss… (their lips move slowly toward each other, Valentino turns to look at the teacher, and Nita grabs his head and kisses him).

Valentino and Nita dance a comic tango, and slowly it becomes the film itself.

RETURN TO ELLIS ISLAND

Luca is watching the Valentino film.

Narrator Do you like it. Luca Valentino! I’ve seen his photo in the newspaper. He’s Italian like me. Narrator It’s his latest movie. Luca I’ve never seen a movie. There isn’t a cinema in my town. Narrator This is nothing Luca, in a few years there will be sound, then colour, and 3D.

Luca picks up his bag and the document he received from the Customs Official.

Where are you going? Luca To New York. I’m ready now. Thank you. Narrator For what? Luca For showing me America. Narrator Go and find your dream, Luca. Luca I will… and I’ll go to the movies too. Narrator Movies are all about dreams.

35 Welcome to America

The Narrator steps into the light of the cinema projector and the movie plays on his face and clothes.

It’s all fiction. Just play. Dreams projected on a white screen...

MOVIE FINALE

We see short tributes to the most famous American movies of all time: Gone with the Wind, Titanic, Star Wars, Singin’ in the Rain, Psycho, Wizard of Oz, Raiders of the Lost Ark, E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial, The Lion King, Ben-Hur, The Sound of Music, Avatar, Pirates of the Caribbean, etc.

Luca Wow. Narrator You see Luca, in the cinema, anything’s possible. Luca Fantasy... Dreams… Narrator Now go and find your dream. (they shake hands) Luca Ciao. Narrator Ciao, Luca.

Luca with his bag and permit leaves the Ellis Island. The Statue of Liberty comes in to view, the Declaration of Independence in her hand, and says:

Statue “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.”

36

A A A A

A A AA

ARCADIA PRODUCTIONS sas via Vespri Siciliani 16/4, 20146 Milano tel: 02 4231459 fax: 02 700419101 email: [email protected]