See Page 51 $1.00 WWW.5TJT.COM VOL. 9 NO. 43 17 AV 5769 ceg ,arp AUGUST 7, 2009 INSIDE FROM THE EDITOR’S DESK A LONG HOT SUMMER My Favorite Things BY LARRY GORDON Phyllis J. Lubin 18 Beds Are For Sleeping A Reluctant Friend Hannah Reich Berman 22 It’s just not working out; it’s that it is mostly built on any- MindBiz not getting any of the parties thing but substantive ground, Esther Mann, LMSW 26 involved anywhere. I am refer- and therefore has no survivabil- The Skinny On Fat ring to this diplomatic shadow- ity. In a sense, what is happen- Rachael E. Schindler, CAI 33 boxing exhibition that is sup- ing before our very eyes is the posed to double as a peace revision of an attitude that Rav Moshe Chait, zt’l process between Arabs and some people in high places Rabbi Yair Hoffman 42 Israelis in the Mideast. It is not were certain was the only way working, and clearly it will not to peace in the region. President work in the future, because of Obama has been awakened to a the insistence that the process sobering reality that he will be unbalanced and not based on need courage to accept and Above, youngsters in Israel enjoying a cool dip at the beach on an genuine reciprocity. articulate. Someday soon he overheated day. As part of the planning process for a new multimillion- Those acquainted with the may even be a very real but dollar chareidi resort village, the Ashdod municipality is considering a lack of progress of these “peace” plan to reserve part of its beach for the chareidim, who require separate machinations have understood Continued on Page 6 swimming accommodations for men and women. See Page 16 RAV ZELIK EPSTEIN, ZT’L: HEARD IN THE BAGEL STORE

Cedarhurst abuzz with AN APPRECIATION Single Encounter business. See Page 52 BY RABBI YAIR BY LARRY GORDON ing Shabbos away together. The HOFFMAN increasing numbers of single “If you want to write any- men and women we encounter The loss is most profound, thing about us,” she said, staring is not necessarily a new phe- and it will be deeply felt by straight on and in a matter-of- nomenon, but as the population those who knew who he was. fact tone, “just say that, more of our communities has grown He was truly a rosh yeshiva’s than anything else, people exponentially, so have the dif- rosh yeshiva. He was a ba’al should be sensitive to us and ferent subgroups of people eitzah to thousands of people. what we are going through.” within them. He was the last of the gedolei It was a recent summer week- Of all these varying groups, ha’dor of the past generation. end at a resort area not far from however, it is probably the sin- Maran HaGaon Rav Zelik New York City. After shul and gles and their increasing num- Epstein, zt’l, studied in the after lunch we met a small bers that continue to stand out group of young Orthodox Yeshiva University National Continued on Page 11 Jewish women who were spend- Continued on Page 17 Leadership Conference. See Page 43 From West Point To The IDF Old-School DOES MIGHT Dating MAKE RIGHT? Single In Cedarhurst, Part 2 Our Aliyah Chronicle BY TARA FRIED BY SHMUEL KATZ

Recently, a friend told me This week, I am writing not at how dating lingo had caused a all about my personal experi- bit of a mix-up in her house. ence, but rather about current After sending her information events and my take on them. to a shadchan, to be passed Over the past couple of months, along to a certain boy, she was the Israeli media has been abuzz Comedian Yisrael Campbell,

P told that he was “busy.” When with various protests that have h o

Sunday in Woodmere. t o

B my friend reiterated the infor- been taking place in y

See Page 49 S a s

s mation to her parents, her Yerushalayim (and for a couple o n T i r

a father attempted to soothe her of days even spilled over into m CANDLE LIGHTING Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu led a host of officials and frustration by commenting, Bet Shemesh). We have read August 7 – 7:44 PM dignitaries who greeted 55 soon-to-be-drafted soldiers among 238 new “Busy? Well, then, after things accounts of uncontrolled vio- August 14 – 7:35 PM olim arriving on Tuesday's Nefesh B’Nefesh flight to Tel Aviv. Above, some of those young Americans joining the IDF. See Page 45 Continued on Page 13 Continued on Page 8 2 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 3 4 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 5 FROM THE EDITOR mind up early on. He was going to force FEATURES Continued from Front Cover Israel to withdraw from disputed territo- ries, relocating hundreds of thousands of Around The Five Towns 43 reluctant friend of Israel and her Jewish residents from communities P.O. BOX 690 LAWRENCE, NY 11559 approach to peace. around Israel. Then he would ask his Arab 516-984-0079 Book Review And if that occurs, it certainly will not friends in Jordan and Saudi Arabia to [email protected] be the first time it has taken place in make some kind of gesture toward Israel [email protected] Fern Sidman 40 Washington. A similar situation unfolded that the world could interpret as being LARRY GORDON ESTA J. GORDON in the early days of the Reagan adminis- reciprocal and on a par with the forcible Publisher/Editor Managing Editor Classified Ads 66 tration in the early 1980s. Reagan was evacuation and transfer of the West YOSSI GORDON, YOCHANAN GORDON Sales Managers indeed a very pro-Israel president, though Bank’s Jewish population. The Dish in those days it was even more certain Intense political pressure would have CHANA ROCHEL ROSS Elke Probkevitz 38 Editorial Assistant than today that one of the focal points of to be brought on the Israelis to get them any peace was going to be Israel’s total to agree. This evacuation from territories SIDI BARON YAKOV SERLE Insights On The Torah and thorough withdrawal from territo- and cities would be on a scale 30 times Sales Representatives Rabbi Yanki Tauber 24 ries captured in the 1967 Six Day War. greater than that of Gush Katif, which SHMUEL GERBER MICHELE JUSTIC R’ Ben Tzion Shafier 30 When President Reagan appointed would come to be viewed as a training Chief Copy Editor Copy Editor George Shultz as Secretary of State—fol- exercise compared to what was now CONTRIBUTING EDITORS The Legendary . . . lowing the resignation of Alexander planned. Hannah Reich Berman, Anessa V. Cohen, . . . Danny O’Doul 35 Haig—the Arab world celebrated with Yes, of course the Americans would Rabbi Aryeh Z. Ginzberg, Toby Klein Greenwald, glee at their good fortune; a friend of speak to the Palestinians about toning Rabbi Yair Hoffman, Miriam Horowitz, Rabbi Mordechai Kamenetzky, Shmuel Katz, Letters To The Editor 32 theirs had been selected for such a vital down the calls for violence and martyr- Phyllis J. Lubin, Esther Mann, Rochelle Miller, foreign-policy position. Prior to his dom. They might even demand that they Martin Mushell, Elke Probkevitz, Naomi Ross, Luach 9 appointment, Mr. Shultz was the head of take out the references in the school cur- Rachael Schindler, Rabbi Avrohom Sebrow, the Bechtel Corporation, a huge engineer- riculum to the imperative that Jews be Eli Shapiro, Ari Sher MindBiz ing and construction company with murdered and their communities DOV GORDON, ELISHEVA ELEFANT multibillion-dollar projects in the Arab destroyed. Staff Graphic Artists Esther Mann, LMSW 26 world. Over a short couple of years, how- What could they request of the IVAN NORMAN, IRA THOMAS ever, something changed about Mr. Saudis? Well, how about asking that Staff Photographers Mother’s Musings Shultz, after he had been intimately Israeli commercial airliners be able to FRANKEL & CO. Phyllis J. Lubin 18 involved in pressuring Israel to shrink secure flyover rights through Saudi air- Design & Production itself and accede to Arab demands in the space, to shorten El Al flight routes to TALIYE CORLEY Real Estate Art Director hope of bringing peace to the region. Asia. And they’d ask the Jordanians—who Anessa V. Cohen 28 Perhaps it was his becoming aware of the already have a peace treaty with Israel— SARAH GREENBAUM Assistant Art Director duplicity of Yasser Arafat and his terror to open up a trade office in Israel so that That’s The Way It Is! cohorts pretending to want peace. Or per- there would be some semblance of active The Five Towns Jewish Times is an independent weekly news- paper. Opinions expressed by writers and columnists are not Hannah Reich Berman 22 haps it was just a miracle that a true close exchange between the two peace part- necessarily those of the editor or publisher. We are not friend of the Arab world did a complete ners. No one would even have to be in responsible for the kashrus or hashgachah of any product or establishment advertised in the Five Towns Jewish Times. Travel 50 turnaround and began to see things from the office; all the Jordanians would have the mostly proper Israeli perspective. to do is pay rent once in a while for some Barack Obama seems to have made his loft on a side street of Tel Aviv.

6 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Obama may have believed that he had gy, or wasting so much time, trying to get it all set. The Israelis desperately want to Jews and Arabs to get along. There already be loved and admired by the world. And is a “peace process”—and the process there is a sense amongst many centrist itself is not only a means to an end, but a and left-leaning American Jewish leaders sufficient end itself. There is the matter that they could help pressure Israel to go of Iranian nuclear weapons that many of along with this charade. These groups the Arab countries are concerned about and these leaders wrongly subscribe to in the same manner that Israel is. Get the notion that Israel’s development and real, they told Mr. Obama. Let’s stop deal- use of much of the land is an occupation ing with undoable fantasies, and let’s get that is corrupting the moral character of down to dealing with the Iranian threat. the Jewish state and its people. It’s an amazing thing, but I believe that The notion was that only emptying the Saudis and the Jordanians just can- the land of its Jews could bring peace, not believe that a country would surren- and this is what Mr. Obama had hoped to der half its capital city, Jerusalem, or set in motion. But in the interim, per- agree to share it. They just are not con- haps miraculously, Israelis elected a vinced that the Israelis would drag a right-wing government that called for a quarter million people out of their unified Jerusalem, continued building of homes in exchange for some flimsy and settler communities, and no Palestinian unenforceable agreements. Whatever state. If only, however, President Obama their thinking is, the experience has to be could get Netanyahu to utter the words a sobering introduction for Mr. Obama, “two states,” he felt he could get the who may now be gaining a new appreci- involved Arab states to lead the way ation for what Israel has been dealing toward something resembling the nor- with all these years. malization of relations. This episode being played out on the But then over the last few weeks, both diplomatic level is reminiscent of the first the Saudis and the Jordanians made it days of the 1973 Yom Kippur War. Israel known to Mr. Obama that they could not was caught unprepared, and Syrian tanks deliver. They are unable to allow jets were making their way in the direction of filled with Jews to fly through their air- the Golan Heights without any Israeli space, 35,000 feet over their territory. Nor resistance. Back home, the IDF was still do they want to trade with Israel—or mobilizing, as Arab forces, armor and even make believe they are trading with infantry, were on the move. The Syrian Israel. They’ve been telling their public tanks were halfway toward capturing for decades that the Jews are the problem Israeli territory when they received that plagues the world, and they couldn’t orders from Damascus to stop in their suddenly change that now. tracks. The commanders were convinced Additionally, the Saudis made it clear that the lack of any Israeli defense was to the president that they did not under- stand why he was devoting so much ener- Continued on Page 11

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 7 Aliyah Chronicle ing “Shaaabbbiiis” whenever one saw Continued from Front Cover another Jew desecrating the Shabbat. They wanted people to remind them- lence and rage. We have heard accusa- selves that the Shabbat was a holy day, tions and counter-accusations. Yet and therefore the call of “Shabbis” was beneath it all is a struggle for power that not directed outward at the other Jew, is all too familiar. but rather inward as a reminder to keep I am referring to various “protests” and the day holy and special. “riots” that have taken place in response In fact, in story after story, the original to two different actions taken by the rabbanim who were involved in protests Jerusalem municipality. The first was the and activities in honor of Shabbat obser- opening of a parking lot on Shabbat to be vance were incredibly particular not to used by non-religious Jews as well as non- say anything to a Jew who was transgress- Jews who visit the capital city on ing the Shabbat, lest it represent a Shabbat. The second was the arrest of the halachically valid warning. A Jew so chareidi mother who allegedly starved warned is then guilty of violating her three-year-old son. Shabbat on a Torah level and not a rab- Before you get nervous, this is not binic level, something they wanted to another “Shmuel hates chareidim” avoid at all costs. article. I certainly fail to understand Unfortunately, as tends to happen, the more radical of them, but in this over the years and generations this instance I understand their motiva- practice has evolved into an accusa- tions and even agree that—in part— tion against the non-religious Jew— they had no choice but to act as they almost in direct conflict with the did. And I wonder why it is that original intention. things have to come to such straits. About two months ago, the mayor of Many years ago, when the first non- Jerusalem, responding to safety concerns religious Jews began to move to within the city, opened up a municipal Jerusalem, the local rabbinate faced an parking lot for use on Shabbat. It is immediate crisis. For the communities important to note that (i) the lack of park- in the eastern part of the city, the only ing facilities in the city on Shabbat cre- Jews that the majority of their kehillah ates safety issues for pedestrians and had been exposed to were observant. emergency personnel who have to navi- They had never witnessed chillul gate the narrow streets of Jerusalem, Shabbat or any other of a range of which used to be filled with haphazardly transgressions of the Torah. The rabbis parked cars blocking traffic; (ii) the lot is worried that these newcomers would operated by non-Jews on Shabbat with have a detrimental effect on the Jews no chillul Shabbat taking place in the of the city. actual opening and operation of the lot One of the actions they took at the itself; and (iii) the plan was done with the time was to institute the practice of cry- consultation and eventual approval of

8 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES members of the chareidi religious parties out of hand. I am convinced that these him to waste away. The police claim gust. After all, the police and hospital in the city council (who had rejected initial protests quickly became a game there is even a video, shot by the hos- had been very vocal about having evi- using the originally proposed lot and of chicken. I also think that the mayor, pital staff with a hidden camera, of dence, and this was a horrific crime. insisted upon the use of a lot further as well as the secular community, was her removing her son’s feeding tube in How could the chareidim defend this from the chareidi neighborhoods). outraged by the “betrayal” of the charei- the hospital and at times putting some woman and protest her arrest? In my In my opinion, the demonstrations di parties who had helped formulate foreign substance into it. mind I had convicted her of terrible (which have at times turned violent) this plan but who quickly abandoned it Faced with this evidence, the hospi- things; the information being pre- against the opening of the parking lot in the face of public pressure. tal had no choice but to report her to sented was simply too inflammatory. were unreasonable. The only chillul It was this climate (a climate that has social services and the police. However, The mayor, responding to the violence Shabbat being performed was that being continued with protests and sporadic vio- when the police wanted to have her and threat to civil servants in the city, done by private parties, not the munici- lence each Shabbat) that I believe became arrested, the hospital balked and pulled all municipal services from charei- pality. Those who were actually driving the catalyst for the second crisis that refused to allow it to happen in the hos- di neighborhoods. He publicly regretted and parking in the lot were certainly arose. I believe that in their zeal to smack pital. Instead, a plan was devised by the the fact that the innocent were swept up guilty of this, but they would have been down the chareidim, no matter what the police (independent of the social serv- in this punishment, but charged the inno- driving on Shabbat with or without the issue, the municipality overstepped its ice workers who were still investigating cent with restoring order and civility to parking lot being open. (The only argu- bounds with their next step. the issue) to have the woman arrested the area so that services could resume. I ment that is even slightly valid is that Much of the following may be inaccu- outside of the social services offices, in thought this was a long overdue move these drivers might not have come to rate, and for that I apologize. I am trying the heart of her neighborhood. that was certainly justified and commen- Jerusalem if not for the parking—but to sift through the media reports and The chareidi community, outraged at surate with the crimes. historically, that is inaccurate. They accusations from both sides and the the arrest of one of their own, quickly Then came the news on erev Shabbat came and parked in the streets.) result is what I hope is a close approxi- went on the offensive. The social servic- that the mother had been released into I believe that these protests were a mation of the truth. es offices were trashed and torched, the custody of a high-ranking chareidi simple muscle flex being done by the There is a woman in Jerusalem who garbage bins were set aflame, street signs lobbyist, who paid $100,000+ bail for fanatical minority. They saw an oppor- I believe has a terrible illness. Her ill- and traffic lights were destroyed, and her. A deal had been struck where the tunity to inflame people and make a ness has led her to do a terrible thing general mayhem and mischief ensued. woman, after initially refusing to coop- point to the mayor and the country that to her own son, which is an unimagin- There were both violent and nonviolent erate with the investigation, agreed to they are a power and force to be reck- able tragedy. She apparently withheld protests in Bet Shemesh, as well. oned with. I also believe that the city food from her infant son and allowed My initial reaction was one of dis- Continued on Page 10 overreacted and that things quickly got CALENDAR LUACH August 6-August 15 ZIP Code: 11516

17 Av Friday, August 7 Daf yomi: Bava Metzia 104 Z’manim*: Earliest tallis/tefillin: 4:58 am Sunrise: 5:58 am Latest Shema: M. Av. 8:53 am Gr’a 9:29 am P’lag ha’minchah: 6:34 pm Candle Lighting: 7:44 pm 18 Av – Shabbos Saturday, August 8 Shabbos Parashas Eikev Avos: Ch. 4 Shabbos ends**: 8:47 pm 72 min. 9:14 pm 24 Av Friday, August 14 Daf yomi: Bava Metzia 111 Earliest tallis/tefillin: 5:06 am Sunrise: 6:05 am Latest Shema: M. Av. 8:55 am Gr’a 9:31 am P’lag ha’minchah: 6:27 pm Candle Lighting: 7:35 pm 25 Av – Shabbos Saturday, August 15 Shabbos Parashas Re’eih Blessing of Chodesh Elul Avos: Ch. 4 Shabbos ends**: 8:37 pm 72 min. 9:05 pm * from MyZmanim.com ** add a few minutes for tosefos Shabbos according to your minhag

Municipal Calendar

Thursday, August 6. 21st Annual Cedarhurst Summer Sidewalk Sale: Thursday, 10 a.m.–6 p.m. Raindate: Friday, August 7, 10 a.m.–6 p.m. 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 9 Aliyah Chronicle mind. They were wrong to be violent, for, not condemnation and ridicule. The munity? There is no question that people Continued from Page 9 no question. But at what point do we state, which is responsible to be impartial would have been up in arms. But would realize that their anger was justified, if in the effective use of its power, was sup- we have gotten violent? Almost assuredly be evaluated by a psychiatrist two days not their actions? posed to reach out and help, and instead not! Would we have forced the issue by later, on Sunday. I was upset that they The hospital and the mental-health slapped down and figuratively “spat” virtue of our threats? Again, no. So I won- had let her out. How could they cave to professionals both had the ability to upon this family and community. der if maybe we, outside the chareidi the demands of hooligans and rioters? insist that the woman be arrested or have Perhaps this happened because the community, are the fools here. They saw Didn’t the rule of law apply here? a restraining order issued against her. police were smarting. The chareidim had an injustice and acted swiftly, strongly, On Monday, a story was released that Why didn’t they? Perhaps it was because been making a mockery of their efforts to and decisively to address it as soon as the mother had failed to show up for her they felt that with the child in the hospi- maintain safety with the opening of the possible. More knowledgeable people mandated evaluation. The judge was quot- tal’s custody and now being supervised, parking lots, and maybe they wanted to than I have weighed in on the situation ed as saying that he hoped this wasn’t an the woman did not present an immediate get them back. So they jumped the gun and agreed that the steps taken by the effort to undermine the court system, and risk to him. Perhaps also because they and made the arrest. government were indeed well beyond there were quick condemnations. had determined—in their professional So I wonder—and this is really why I what was required. This family was most She eventually presented herself for probably being persecuted. Amazing for evaluation at midnight a couple of days me to say it, but the chareidi community’s later. Within hours, the chareidi commu- emotional reaction to the second crisis nity leaked reports that the psychiatrist was probably right—even though their had concluded that there was nothing actions (which were the catalyst for a fair wrong with the mother and that she did The police took it upon themselves hearing) were still wrong. not constitute a threat to the members of This is why the juxtaposition of the her family. In the ensuing days, the psy- to make a judgment in this case that two crises is so compelling. It is the reac- chiatrists for the prosecution contradict- tion to the first crisis that most probably ed the original psychiatrists, and there caused the second crisis. In one situation, have been claims and counterclaims of they had no business making. a bunch of punks got together to cause misrepresentations and lies. The original trouble because they felt ignored. In the psychiatrist has written a letter retracting other, a community banded together and his evaluation and was discovered to be a took action in protest of persecution. It is disgruntled former employee of the hos- opinions—that she did not present an have gone through the whole sordid story unfortunate that, for this community, pital in question, as well. immediate risk to the rest of her family or with you—what would have happened if they seem to go hand in hand. A judge, having seen the evidence, the public at large. The police, whose job this had been a non-religious mother? Note: After the above was written, the remanded the woman to house arrest. it is to enforce the restraining orders and Would the police have been so quick to child involved was released from the hos- She is allowed to visit with her other chil- maintain law and order, did neither. They act, or would they have let the system pital. He was reported to have gained dren, but not the one she is accused of took it upon themselves to make a judg- process the case normally, waiting for the weight and has shown significant starving. The judge also explicitly criti- ment in this case that they had no expert- professionals to decide the next step? If improvement since being removed from cized the police for blowing things out of ise in and no business making. they had acted, would her community his mother’s care. O proportion. The investigation continues. A woman is sick. Her child is sick as a have “gone nuts” and effectively forced a Shmuel Katz is currently working with Machon So does the posturing. result. That is a tragedy—not a public quick decision on getting her out of jail, or Puah. Shmuel, his wife Goldie, and their six chil- Although in my initial reaction I was relations opportunity. There is a system would she still be sitting in jail waiting? dren made aliyah in July of 2006. Prior to his aliyah, Shmuel was the executive director of the outraged at the behavior of the chareidi to handle these types of issues. Help, both What if it had been someone from my Yeshiva of South Shore in Hewlett. You can con- community, I think I am changing my medical and psychological, were called community, the Religious Zionist com- tact him at [email protected].

10 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES FROM THE EDITOR Rav Zelik Epstein Yerucham that we now have in our pos- ical approach of Rav Shimon. Continued from Page 7 Continued from Front Cover session were written by Rav Zelik when Rav Zelik’s son, Reb Kalman, ylc’t, fre- he was but a young man. Sheets of Rav quently recalled his father’s hasmadah. It not unpreparedness, but rather a trick, a Mirrer Yeshiva in Europe under the great- Yerucham’s shiurim were carefully writ- was a regular occurrence for his father to shrewd military deception that the est of Europe’s roshei yeshiva. A brilliant ten by Rav Zelik, reviewed by Reb be involved in a Talmudic sugyah through- Syrians had not anticipated. talmid chacham, he immigrated to Yerucham, and sent weekly to England. out the night. In the early years after the The Syrian about-face was nothing less America and helped rebuild the glorious war, while living in Williamsburg, than a wonder. Israel then had the time world of advanced Torah scholarship Brooklyn, he developed a close friendship to get its personnel into the field, where that had been destroyed in Europe. He with the Klausenberger Rebbe, zt’l. Often they turned near defeat into great victory. began as a rosh yeshiva in Yeshiva Torah Rav Zelik’s the Rebbe would come to Rav Zelik’s It’s something that can happen only in VoDaas and eventually established home at two o’clock in the morning to dis- the Middle East and only when the coun- Yeshiva Shaar HaTorah-Grodno in Kew unbelievable power of cuss a difficult Rashba. Neither of them try and the miracle of Israel is involved. Gardens, New York. thought anything of the time. Don’t be too surprised if Barack Obama Rav Zelik, who was 97 years old at the In fact, Rav Zelik’s unbelievable power someday becomes a genuine fan and time of his petirah, was perhaps the last concentration quite of concentration quite often caused him friend of Israel and the Jewish people. O link that our generation had with the to lose all track of time. Once Rav Zelik Comments for Larry Gordon are welcome at gedolim of previous times. Rav Zelik com- often caused him to was involved in a deep sugyah and [email protected]. bined outstanding hasmadah, remark- noticed that it was a little too late for his able sensitivity, and profound wisdom lose all track of time. son to still be up and about. He instruct- and insight—all wrapped in one extraor- ed him to go to bed. His son, Reb Kalman, dinary Torah personality. went to bed for the night and arose the How George Shultz Even at a young age, Rav Zelik dis- next morning. When Reb Kalman entered played an exceptional grasp of the intrica- Rav Zelik married the granddaughter his father’s study, he noticed that his cies of Talmudic learning. He also had the of Rav Shimon Shkop. Rav Zelik’s appreci- father was still exploring the very same Became The Most gift of being able to explain and write ation of Reb Shimon’s unique brand of sugyah in which he had been immersed with incisive clarity. Rav Zelik was lamdus inspired his learning in that direc- the previous night. Rav Zelik, however, Pro-Israel extremely close to Reb Yerucham tion, as well. Ultimately, he named and Secretary Of State Levovitz, zt’l. Indeed, the kisvei Rav patterned his own yeshiva on the analyt- Continued on Page 12

BY DONALD NEFF

April 1998—It was 15 years ago, on April 14, 1983, that a chorus of criticism of Secretary of State George Pratt Shultz reached a crescendo in The Washington Post. The newspaper wrote (Michael Getler, April 24, 1983) that “there is a growing body of thought that Shultz may be too quiet, that he may not be forceful enough.” Similar comments had appeared in The New York Times, Time, and Newsweek and by columnists Rowland Evans and Robert Novak, to name only some of the major critics. The criticism had gathered speed after an interview in The New York Times on February 19 (Bernard Gwertzman, February 20, 1983) with Moshe Arens, Israel’s new defense minister. He complained there was “such a degree of frustration and impa- tience and anger” that relations between the United States and Israel were perhaps the worst in history. All this preceded an astonishing change in Shultz. Within months he became a passionate supporter of Israel and spent much of the rest of his time in office promoting Israel’s inter- ests and forging a relationship that turned the United States into the tiny Jewish state’s closest friend at all levels of government. The change was so noticeable by June that New York Times columnist William Safire was writing, “The Reagan administration has suddenly fallen passionately in love with Israel” (June 16, 1983). After that most of the media criti- cism of Shultz not only ceased but his praise as a supporter of Israel grew proportionately.1 Sources in Washington explained that two of Shultz’s closest colleagues, his execu- tive secretary, Charles M. Hill, and Under Secretary of State for Political Affairs Lawrence S. Eagleburger, later

Continued on Page 14

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 11 Rav Zelik Epstein yeshiva once commented, “Rav Zelik was entailed. He never indicated to either one hand that they contained nothing Continued from Page 11 able to do what no other rosh yeshiva of them that he was thoroughly familiar improper. When asked why he had not could do here in America in terms of with the harshness of it all. He let them requested the papers in the first place, rebuked his son, telling him, “I thought building quality talmidim.” explain and “cry on his shoulder.” Why? Rav Zelik responded that the person had that I told you to go to bed!” Rav Zelik’s dedication and love for Because he truly cared about them and felt like a nirdaf, pursued by nearly every- While still in Europe, the daughter of K’lal Yisrael were remarkable. Here was a didn’t want to say, “Yes, I know all about it one. “The person needed to see that the Alter of Kelm, Chana Liba, saw an rosh yeshiva who cared for people as a already.” It would have taken away from someone trusted in him completely. I opportunity. Her father’s precious writings loving parent and grandparent would. He the empathy he was showing them. could not request to see the papers and needed to be collated and were in the attic involved himself in the promotion of Once, a person was going through a contribute to the feeling of redifah that of her home. Somehow she had found out shalom bayis between husbands and difficult divorce. The other side was quite the person was experiencing.” about Rav Zelik’s writing talent and she wives and used his extraordinary wisdom well-connected and wealthy. Rav Zelik Very few people have the extraordi- succeeded in having him work on her to help many hundreds of couples. was receiving phone calls day and night nary sensitivity to empathize with others father’s manuscripts. While typing late Notwithstanding his tremendous has- from gedolim and powerful people in the the way the rosh yeshiva did. He under- into the night, Rav Zelik was startled by a madah, he would take time off to help community, complaining about some- stood the feelings of everyone. Parents powerful knock on the door; the door was couples straighten out issues between thing that the person had filed in court. came to him with problems, along with flung open and flashlights were shined them. I know of one evening when he The person said, “Rebbi, let me show you their children. He understood what they into his eyes. He was face-to-face with the counseled three couples well into the exactly what was filed, so you will have were experiencing and gave suggestions KGB. His writing was abruptly interrupted wee hours of the morning. no doubts.” Rav Zelik refused and said, and advice that really worked. At the with an interrogation in their headquar- He counseled people through their “Chas v’shalom, I trust what you say com- same time, he was able to relate and ters. Thankfully, he explained the situa- most difficult periods. At one time there pletely.” Rav Zelik put himself through speak to the children who were undergo- tion and was promptly released. were two couples who had to navigate the grueling task of having to answer to ing feelings unique to the teenage years. Rav Zelik was remarkably successful in their way through the difficult course of all the pressure without looking for him- He welcomed people with a hadras his goal of transplanting higher academic fertility treatments. Neither couple knew self at the court papers. Finally, the per- panim and a love that was felt immedi- learning onto the shores of the United that the other husband and wife were son brought them over, against Rav ately. When one interacted with him, he States. He was able to develop in his undergoing the very same experiences and Zelik’s protests. immediately knew where the person was talmidim a broad grasp of the deepest hardships. Rav Zelik patiently and with With the papers in hand, Rav Zelik coming from. His sense of hakaras ha’tov sugyos in Shas, combined with a finely remarkable empathy listened to each cou- relieved the pressure instantly by calling with regard to even the slightest of favors honed analytic approach. Another rosh ple recount the difficult processes back the gedolim and telling them first- was also profound. Everyone and anyone felt welcomed by him. He advised and helped single mothers, unemployed people, and the downtrod- den at all levels of society. How many gedolim are there whose counsel is equal- ly sought by—and given to—a rosh yeshi- va, a chassidishe rebbe, a divorcing young couple, and a teenager struggling with emunah issues? Notwithstanding his extraordinary insight into the dynamics of human psy- chology and his greatness in Torah learn- ing, Rav Zelik was a tremendous anav, always preferring to be low-key and remain in the shadows. But he had a fab- ulous sense of humor, too. He adamantly refused to participate in asifos of gedolim. When asked why he did not attend, he responded, “Ninety-five percent of the people who go to these attend because of ga’avah—and I am not from that other five percent!” At another time, he was asked to sign on to a kol korei forbidding use of the Internet, but he refused to do so. When asked why he did not sign, he responded, “K’lal Yisrael’s pants are falling down, and they want me to straighten out K’lal Yisrael’s tie?” Rav Zelik was a very close yedid of Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky, zt’l. The friendship was a deep one, built on an admiration for each other’s profound learning, keen wisdom, and lively personalities. Both of them had a deep grasp of Gemara com- bined with a remarkable worldliness, a combination possessed by few others. Rav Zelik was mesader kiddushin at Rav Yaakov’s second wedding, and Rav Zelik’s own wedding was held in Rav Yaakov’s home. Rav Zelik was profoundly grieved when Rav Yaakov passed away. Other gedolim would travel far dis- tances to seek counsel with Rav Zelik. They found that he was a true thinker. His advice was often “out of the box” but extraordinarily precise. The loss that is felt in the passing of this remarkable gadol is vivid and clear. He was irreplaceable, not only to K’lal Yisrael as a whole, but to our leaders, our roshei yeshiva, who sought his counsel at every turn. We are all orphans now. O

The author can be reached at [email protected]. 12 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Old-School Dating child’s bashert and ultimate happiness, and then drop so low that those mil- from many post-high-school yeshivas and Continued from Front Cover parents are learning to brush up on lions are lost. This same concept seminaries, who make it seem that this is their dating terminology. The dating rings true regarding shidduchim; we the correct and proper way—the only settle down in the boy’s life, he will jargon can become easily confusing; are reverting to the ways of our way—to date. reconsider.” especially for those who are one step European ancestors with the rise of While there has to be some gedarim Trying not to be disrespectful to outside the process, as parents usually shadchanim, but with a modern twist: surrounding shidduchim, being pushed her father, but seeing that he didn’t are, it can be even more perplexing. using résumés, pictures, and refer- to meet in only one specific way should understand, she explained that when Back in my parents’ generation, ences instead of questions of yichus not be perpetuated. While on a visit to someone is “busy,” that means they which was not that long ago, young and dowries. Israel during my first year of college, I are dating someone else, not “busy” singles were urged to talk to each This transition occurred right before visited the seminary I studied at after with life. She then went on educating other and become friends. If they were our eyes, but perhaps we haven’t con- high school. At the end of my stay, a her parents about the terminology interested in one another, they would sciously considered the ramifications. teacher asked to speak with me. I was that is associated with shidduch dat- go out, and hopefully enjoy each The questions that now must be dealt more than happy to comply with her ing, such as “lists,” “résumés,” and other’s company; but if that was not request and eagerly went to talk to her, “references.” He was surprised by the the case, no hard feelings were felt. wondering what she had to sit down new vernacular connected to dating Many times recommendations came and talk to me about. and walked away with some knowl- from other friends and relatives. There “Have you started dating?” she asked edge on shidduchim and a chuckle. was no calling references or looking at While aiding in the earnestly. “No,” I replied. She then went After hearing about this conversa- pictures of the girl to see if she was on reminding me that when I do, which tion and thinking back to my own cute. The only call involved was for pursuit of their child’s should be as soon as possible, I should parents’ education on this topic over the boy to ask the girl out. call up shadchanim, rebbeim, and old the past two years, I began to wonder People in the past met at shul func- bashert and ultimate high-school teachers to let them know I why my generation has this new shid- tions, weddings, and parties. Now, if a happiness, parents are was available. I told her I would try my duch glossary that others did not young man sees a young woman (or best. I then asked, “Well, do you sup- have. I quickly came to the realiza- vice versa) after shul at a kiddush, to learning to brush up on pose I can just meet someone outside of tion that not only has the language walk up to her and talk to her would this system?” Her amazement that I changed, but the whole method of be very curious and rare. Weddings their dating terminology. asked this question was evident by her finding a zivug has. While not every- should be a great place to meet; expression. one has made the change to résumés, everyone is looking their best and cel- Some people do meet in camp, high pictures, and references, these prac- ebrating a simcha. But instead, time school, NCSY—even on an airplane—but tices have become prevalent in and again, separate seating is with are “Who established this practice?” recently the common way for people to Orthodox circles. arranged. Men sit on one side of the and “Who has made it acceptable for it to date is by conforming to this new/old sys- Dating is a process that does not mechitzah and women on the other; remain this way and become the norm?” tem. The runaround with references, involve only the singles, particularly men sit at one table in the back of the Unfortunately, it can partially be attrib- résumés, and lists needs to be reevaluat- if they choose to include their par- room and women at another in the uted to the frum singles community, for it ed. Although in theory matching people ents in the process. Some parents front. Hardly ever are they together is the single person that perpetuates the up can work, this cannot become the know more about the shidduch scene or at adjacent tables. cycle of how the majority of shidduchim only way to date, if we are to succeed in than their child, some take a back Everything in life is cyclical. are arranged today, all while trying to the long run. Reasonable changes—with- seat, and others are eager to support Fashions are “out” for 30 years and break free from it. Others who maintain in halachah—are needed. Hopefully, for their child’s search in any way. then make a huge comeback; stocks this quasi-dated dating system are our the sake of all single men and women, While aiding in the pursuit of their rise high, with millions to be made, beloved rebbeim, teachers, and menahalot they will soon be put into action. O

Your Event… Simply Spectacular

Carefully selected ingredients, Immaculate presentation, Attention to all details. This is what separates us

from the rest. lk

NEW STAR fine catered events lk T: 516 791.0100 T: 718 891.8100

CERTIFIED AND ENDORSED BY THE KEHILAH KASHRUS

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 13 George Shultz evil. Never again would we appease the He left the government in 1974 to join because of its use of U.S. weapons in its Continued from Page 11 aggressor. Never again would we let the the huge international construction invasion of Lebanon. He further pro- Jewish people stand alone against perse- company Bechtel Group Inc. and soon voked Israel in September when he put secretary of state in the last days of the cution and oppression. Today, we honor became president of Bechtel. His work at forward the comprehensive peace plan Bush administration, suggested to Shultz that pledge by standing beside the state Bechtel brought him into close contact that subsequently became known as “the in the spring of 1983 that he try treating of Israel” (New York Times, May 11, 1985). with many Arab leaders, and when he Reagan plan.” Israel disdainfully rejected Israel more circumspectly to see if the Shultz had been appointed by returned to government it was believed it out of hand the next day. media criticism would wane.2 President Reagan on June 25, 1982.3 Born that he would be more evenhanded in All that had changed by the middle of Whatever the facts, the record clearly December 13, 1920, Shultz had been an eco- the Middle East than some of his prede- 1983. How profound the change was shows that from this time forward there nomics professor at MIT and the cessors (see Time, July 5, 1982, pp. 15–16). became clear within five months, when was a sea change in Shultz’s attitude Shultz backed the signing of a strategic toward Israel. He never again seriously alliance agreement with Israel, in effect opposed Israel, or treated the elevating Israel to the status of a strategic Palestinians with anything more than ally of America.4 By mid-1984, Moshe contempt. By 1985 Shultz was openly Arens was describing relations between proclaiming his Zionist credentials. At the two countries as “probably better” the annual conference of AIPAC, the than ever before (New York Times, May 31, American Israel Public Affairs 1984). That description continued to be Committee, he declared: “Our original made throughout Shultz’s time in office. moral commitment to Israel has never Perhaps more telling were the wavered, but over the years Americans heaps of praise bestowed on Shultz have also come to recognize the enor- and Reagan by AIPAC. In 1986, AIPAC mous importance of Israel—as a partner executive director Thomas Dine in the pursuit of freedom and democra- reported at the group’s 27th annual cy, as a people who share our highest policy conference that relations had ideals, and as a vital strategic ally in an never been better between the United important part of the world… Every year States and Israel.5 Dine said that in we provide more security assistance to the process of this development “a Israel than to any other nation. We con- whole new constituency of support sider that aid to be one of the best invest- (L–R): George P. Shultz and President Ronald Reagan in Washington in 1986. for Israel is being built in precisely ments we can make—not only for Courtesy of Ronald Reagan Library. the area where we are weakest— Israel’s security but for ours as well” among government officials in the (Journal of Palestine Studies, “Special University of Chicago before President In fact, he became the most pro-Israel state, defense, and treasury depart- Document,” Summer 1985, pp. 122–28). Nixon appointed him to his cabinet as sec- secretary ever except for Henry Kissinger. ments, in the CIA, in science, trade, The next month in Israel, Shultz retary of labor, then director of the Office Shultz got off on the wrong foot with agriculture and other agencies.” declared that “Israel is the true witness to of Management and Budget, and finally as Israel when, after less than a month in Israel, Dine added, was now treated the Holocaust and the truest symbol of secretary of the treasury, in which job he office, he signed off on a presidential by the United States as an “ally, not the victory of good over evil. Never again. had completely failed to see the disastrous warning to Israel on July 15 accusing it of just a friend, an asset rather than a lia- Never again would we fail to confront 1973 Arab oil boycott coming. violating the Arms Export Control Act bility, a mature and capable partner,

14 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES NOTES: not some vassal state.” would like to strengthen ties with pro- Just how total Shultz had become in 1. Donald Neff, “The remarkable feat of George He added that President Reagan and Western Arabs.” his passionate embrace of Israel was Shultz,” Middle East International, March 5, Shultz were going to “leave a legacy AIPAC’s rise was accomplished in part demonstrated a few months later. While 1988. For a description of Shultz’s meek style henceforth in dealing with the Israelis, see that will be important to Israel’s securi- by Shultz’s willingness to support it by in Israel in mid-October 1987, Shultz inau- Thomas L. Friedman, From Beirut to Jerusalem ty for decades to come.” Shultz, he said, speaking at its annual meeting and, gurated the George Shultz Doctoral (New York: Farrar, Strauss, Giroux, 1989), pp. 500–501. had vowed to him to “build institution- more significantly, consulting it on poli- Fellowships at Tel Aviv University. He per- 2. Donald Neff, Fallen Pillars: U.S. Policy al arrangements so that eight years cy matters. Former CIA analyst Kathleen sonally contributed $10,000 to the pro- towards Palestine and Israel since 1945 (Washington, DC: Institute for Palestine Studies, from now, if there is a secretary of state Christison observed: “The Reagan years gram, an extraordinary gesture by a secre- 1995), pp. 121–24. who is not positive about Israel, he will have witnessed a marked change in the tary of state claiming to be a mediator in 3. Excerpts of Shultz’s testimony in his confirma- not be able to overcome the bureau- lobby’s influence on policymaking. If in the Arab-Israel conflict (Glenn Frankel, tion hearings on July 13, 1982 can be found in Journal of Palestine Studies, “Documents and cratic relationship between Israel and past administrations it was thought to Washington Post, October 19, 1987). Source Material,” Summer/Fall 1982, pp. 333–35. the U.S. that we have established.” have a major limiting impact on policy Little wonder that Shultz’s reception 4. Donald Neff, “The remarkable feat of George Shultz,” Middle East International, March 5, Later in 1986, former AIPAC staffer formulation, the magnitude of its influ- in Arab countries was no more than 1988; Friedman, From Beirut to Jerusalem, pp. Richard B. Straus wrote in The ence today is so great that it can no diplomatically polite. During nearly 500-501. Washington Post (April 27, 1986) that longer be considered merely a con- seven years in office, his principal influ- 5. The text of Dine’s speech, “The Revolution in U.S.-Israel Relations,” is in Journal of Palestine “American Middle East policy has straint on policy. Under Reagan, AIPAC ence on the Arab-Israel conflict was to Studies, “Special Document,” Summer 1986, pp. shifted so dramatically in favor of has become a partner in policymaking.” prolong it by his blatant partisanship 134–143. 6. Middle East Policy and Research Center, Israel” that now it could only be She quoted former Carter administra- toward Israel and thereby to contribute May/June 1987, pp. 16, 17; also see a special described as “a revolution.” He quoted tion National Security Council Middle to the explosion of Palestinian frustra- report on the meeting in the Journal of Palestine Dine as saying that Shultz was the East analyst William Quandt as saying, tion that erupted as the intifada later in Studies, Autumn 1987, pp. 107–113. 7. The text of Dine’s speech is in the Journal of “architect of the special relationship,” “We would sometimes go to the Israelis 1987 with untold cost in suffering and Palestine Studies, Vol. XVI, No. 4, Summer 1987, which, Dine said, “is a deep, broad- in advance of some action and ask them blood. (WRMEA.com) O pp. 95–106; the same issue also carries the text of AIPAC’s 1987 policy statement, pp. 107–114. based partnership progressing day-by- not to make trouble, but we never went 8. Middle East Policy and Research Center, day toward a full-fledged diplomatic to AIPAC. The Reagan administration has Reprinted from Washington Report on Middle May/June 1987, p. 12. East Affairs, April 1998, Page 78–79. Donald Neff 9. Kathleen Christison, “Blind Spots: Official U.S. and military alliance.” elevated AIPAC to the level of a player in is author of Fallen Pillars: U.S. Policy Towards Myths About the Middle East,” Journal of Palestine Straus added: “State Department this game.”9 Palestine and Israel since 1945. Studies, Vol. XVII, No. 2, Winter 1988, p. 50. Arabists acknowledge that Arab inter- ests hardly get a hearing today in Washington. ‘We used to have a two- track policy,’ says one former State Department official. ‘Now only Israel’s interests are considered.’” While Straus credited Reagan’s “gut” support for Israel as a major reason for the change, it was, Straus observed, only after George Shultz finally decided to throw his full weight behind Israel that the “revolution was complete.” By the next year, 1987, Dine declared Reagan and Shultz among Israel’s greatest friends who had immeasur- ably helped Israel.6 In his address, Dine declared that “there is wide agreement that Ronald Reagan is among the best friends of Israel ever to sit in the Oval Office, and that George Shultz has been a friend beyond words as secretary of state… These stalwarts have truly transformed U.S. policy over the past five years, raising the relationship to a new level.”7 Dine said that despite a year in which there was the Pollard spy scan- dal, Israel’s entanglement in the Iran/Contra scandal, Israel’s selling of weapons to South Africa, speculation about Israel’s nuclear policy and lead- ership confusion in Israel, “We have had one of the best years on record in terms of concrete legislation, in the strategic relationship between our country and Israel, and in the gains scored by our cause in the results of the 1986 elections.”8 The New York Times reported in July (David K. Shipler, July 6, 1987) that “AIPAC has become a major force in shaping United States policy in the Middle East… The organization has gained power to influence a presiden- tial candidate’s choice of staff, to block practically any arms sale to an Arab country, and to serve as a catalyst for intimate military relations between the Pentagon and the Israeli army. Its leading officials are consulted by State Department and White House policy- makers, by senators and generals.” It concluded that AIPAC “has become the envy of competing lobbyists and the bane of Middle East specialists who

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 15 Ashdod Beach May Be Restricted To Chareidim

BY OFER PETERSBURG

Will a significant part of Ashdod’s beach be open to the ultra-Orthodox community only? The Minrav Group is hold- ing negotiations with the Ashdod municipality’s econom- ic company ahead of the estab- lishment of a strictly kosher resort village, at a total invest- ment of NIS 160 million (about $42 million). The compound will be locat- ed about 100 meters (328 feet) from the Riviera Beach, in the southern part of the city. The Minrav Group has con- firmed that a resort village with 220 summer cottages and 80 hotel rooms, stretching over 13 acres, would build in the area together with chareidi entrepre- neurs from New York. The project will also include a synagogue, a mikveh, swim- ming pools, a spa, and strictly kosher restaurants. In a document obtained by Yedioth Ahronoth’s economic supplement, the head of the real estate division at Minrav, Chanan Bartal, writes to the manager of the economic com- pany in Ashdod, “Following our discussion with chareidi entre- preneurs and several meetings in your office, it is clear that they are interested in building a chareidi resort village, but a pre- condition is a municipal arrangement for restricting bathing to the chareidi public in the piece of shore adjacent to their plot.” The municipality’s economic company said in response, “Closing the beach off for charei- dim is being examined, but a decision has yet to be made. This is one of the company’s demands for setting up a resort village.” (YNetNews.com) O

For the next issue, deadline for reserving ad space is Monday, August 10 at 5:00 P.M.

All graphics for ads must be in by Tuesday, August 11 at 5:00 P.M.

Call 516-984-0079

16 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

BAGEL STORE ing well and with efficiency. However, as well as organizations have pooled some ly women—being left out of the process. Continued from Front Cover coming across scenes and situations as of their intellectual and other resources to The onus of the process seems to be we did this past Shabbos just tells us that try to figure out how to break this sitting on the shoulders of the women. most. There is a problem that has an the margin of error, so to speak, has Orthodox Jewish singles logjam that has Many—including the ones I spoke to impact on significant numbers of people become way too large and significant. impacted so negatively on so many lives. over last Shabbos—bring an additional every day. But how—as we mark the So what’s wrong with the process? They have brought some of our singles air of urgency to the matter because as observance of Tu B’Av, when girls in bibli- Well, for starters, it moves too slowly; it together and have even been instrumen- they begin to see the age of 40 looming cal times gathered in the fields, in part to is, to a great extent, unnatural; and it is tal in facilitating some matches, but these on the horizon, they are concerned about be noticed by the boys—did we get to lacking in consideration and sensitivity. organized events are not scheduled often their ability to have children. this point? Young people want to get on with their enough and frequently they are by invita- And that’s a frequently unstated and “You can write that we are miserable lives—they don’t want the process of tion only, which leaves a large segment of inequitable factor all around. A man in his and desperate,” one young lady of the finding a partner as their full-time occu- the singles population out of the circle. forties will often only consider a signifi- group was telling me. “It’s a disaster, and I pation or obsession. Meeting someone, cantly younger woman because of that can assure you that though we are smiling developing a relationship, and marrying factor. I have been told that as a young and participating in events and weekends, is supposed to be as natural as breathing lady reaches 40, those who are redd shid- we are not at all happy or pleased with the or eating, rather than being something “You can write that duchim will sometimes have their field of situation,” she said. First and foremost, analogous to open-heart surgery. potential candidates limited to men who she added, I should tell people not to for- We are in a situation today where far have been married, already have children, get about what we are going through. too many young people (and not-so- we are miserable and are either divorced or widowed. When I asked her to explain, she said that young people) are losing hope of ever The reality of the situation can be it’s very nice that young couples invite finding their zivug or bashert out there in and desperate.” difficult and even brutal for some. If them to Shabbos meals, for example, but the wilds of what has become unaffec- this process has accomplished any- if there are only other young couples tionately referred to as the “shidduch thing, it is an injection of an element of there, they should please not spend the scene.” But they are in it today, and it is, We also hear some complaints about misery to a process that was once one entire meal talking about their children. for many, a rough place to be. those who serve, often voluntarily, as of the most anticipated and exciting I don’t think it will help the matter to At the same time, the alternatives that shadchanim. The sentiment from those phases of a person’s life. dwell at length on the subject of how exist out there are not ideal, either. I agree not married is that they are not thought of In an effort to be fair and balanced, we things got to this point. It’s been stated that the purity and the innocence that enough, that their calls are not returned, should mention that there are certainly before, here in this space and elsewhere, were once major ingredients of the for- and that the effort that goes into a shid- substantive and legitimate complaints that this portion of a young man’s or mula that allowed frum men and women duch when one is “redd” is not sufficient from the male perspective on this not-so- young woman’s life was meant to be the to meet has to a large extent also been or done with enough effort or diligence. new and certainly not improved way of most exhilarating and inspiring as they compromised. However, it’s still very pos- In their defense, the professional, or at doing things. Many of the men complain search for a life partner, with open-ended sible and is done properly every day, yet least proficient, shadchanim are overbur- that the women are too picky and indeci- possibilities and the opportunity to too many of our youth have been indoc- dened and overwhelmed. Many are sive, and are reluctant to commit to and accomplish together almost anything trinated with the idea that this is not the answering their phones and meeting facilitate a relationship that can grow. their hearts desire. way to identify a marriage partner. with both men and women at all hours of They feel they are being judged mostly on But somewhere along the line, as you Just the act of going out into the New the day and night. Again, while the the materialistic ability they bring to the know, over the last 20 years or so, the sys- York City singles world is wrought with process does indeed work effectively for table rather than their essence and per- tem or the process has experienced a risks that our young people are not most, over the last years too much of a sonality. The fact is that both sides, male breakdown of sorts. Granted, for most it equipped to handle. Over the last several bottleneck has been created, with far too still is working; for some, it is even work- years some forward-thinking individuals many young men and women—especial- Continued on Page 20

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 17 My Favorite Things

Another Mother’s Musings BY PHYLLIS J. LUBIN

A cool summer breeze; a bride’s smile on her wedding day; a walk on the boardwalk with my husband; a solitary moment staring into the ocean; searching with my children for shells along the seashore; watch- ing my children laugh—these are a few of my favorite things! There are significant moments in our lives that are embedded in our minds forever: the birth of a child, a bar mitzvah or bat mitzvah, gradua- tions; weddings, etc. Then there are seemingly minor moments that catch us by surprise. It’s the memory of those moments in time that make our hearts shine. Approaching my parents’ house this past Shabbos afternoon and see- ing from afar the outlines of both my parents taking a short stroll down the block, with only my mom and a cane to support my dad—that was one such moment! My folks have come a long way since May 4, when my father fell and broke his hip. I remember both my dad, as he tried to take those first few steps just four short months ago after his surgery, and my mom, with her constant sup- port. Originally it took two strong nurses to hold him up. And now he can take more than a few steps with only a cane for support. Every day there is a little improvement, and every day there is an opportunity to say “baruch Hashem.” Monday morning came soon enough, and I was able to get to camp a little later than usual, due to a camp trip. And so Rochel (she is my morn- ing car-mate) and I took the opportu- nity to take a walk along Atlantic Beach. With some extra time avail- able, we walked on the boardwalk one way and we took a jaunt on the beach itself on the way back. Early- morning walks on the beach are irre- placeable: the slightly cool ocean breeze; the untrodden sand beneath our feet; and the discovery of newly washed-up shells. The joy that I saw in Rochel’s eyes as she found the first perfect “cool” shell of the morning made me smile. Another such moment came later that morning: I had a free moment at the pool and I was able to observe my daughter Rivka instructing her young students. My heart was aflutter as I saw her face light up as a four-year- old made it across the width of the pool. At first she didn’t know I was watching her, and then out of the cor- ner of her eye she saw me. Her smil- ing face will be permanently imprint- ed in my internal photo album. Last night I had more moments to add to my internal photo album. Thanks to the kindness of my boss, Shalom Maidenbaum, we had four field tickets to see the New York Mets in their new Citi Field stadium. What

Continued on Page 20 18 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES and inspiring attempts to address the dev- vidual is married, with children in the day- ducing the project to their respective It Takes A Kehillah: astating effects of the tuition crisis, the school system. And until that time, commu- shuls, encouraging their mispallelim to Kehillah fund is a powerful example of nity members are encouraged to contribute participate. Monies are collected monthly NNJKIDS Leaves No what a small group of creative, talented, for the greater good—for their nieces, by credit card or check. A small group of and idealistic individuals can accomplish. nephews, cousins, and neighbors—to give advocates from each shul contacts mem- Child Behind Since its website was launched in June to back to their community and to assure the bers personally and enlists their participa- raise and distribute money to the commu- continuing Torah education of future gen- tion. All monies collected are allocated on BY ROCHELLE MARUCH nity’s day schools, the fund has reported erations of precious children. a per capita basis, based on the number of MILLER that it expects to deliver $250,000 per year, Rather than merely generating money, pre-K through 8th-grade students in the if donations remain at the current rate. Northern New Jersey Kehillot Investing local day schools. Long before the current tuition crisis According to Distenfeld, about 500 families In Day Schools creates achdus and instills While donors are being asked to con- wreaked havoc across the spectrum of the have signed up through the website, with in each member of the community a tribute $1 each day, or $30 per month, as Jewish community, the Talmud told of the average donation being $40. Thus far, sense of responsibility for their beloved a minimum, full community participa- Rabbi Yehoshua ben Gamla, honored as the the organization has raised $40,000. educational institutions. tion at whatever level of financial com- “one who saved Torah for the Jewish peo- Although the kehillah fund has elicited a Not content to rest on their laurels, mitment families can afford is crucial to ple.” Prior to Rabbi Yehoshua ben Gamla, great deal of enthusiasm from Bergen JEFG views its accomplishments as only the continuing success of this project. every family was responsible for educating County’s environs and well beyond, there the beginning. Future plans include addi- NNJKIDS does not purport to solve the its own children. Well aware that provid- are those who question their level of tional endowment programs and initia- school tuition crisis on its own. It is, how- ing children with a substantive Torah edu- responsibility. Consider a single person, or a tives. JEFG will continually seek potential ever, an essential first step in a comprehen- cation was not within every family’s couple whose children have already gradu- sources of support from local, state, and sive solution. Says Dinenfeld, “Through means, this visionary created a network of ated from day school. The response would federal government, corporations, and establishing a sense of unity and working schools throughout the country. Rabbi be that each person should contribute, if non-profit organizations. together toward a community response, Yehoshua ben Gamla dedicated his efforts for no other reason than he or she is a What makes Bergen County the exem- our goal is to progress toward a viable long- to ensuring that no Jewish child be member of the kehillah and because his or plar for successfully dealing with the term solution. We hope our actions will deprived of a Torah education. her contribution is a vital investment in its tuition crisis is the enthusiastic support serve as a model to foster a national net- This noble endeavor is the foundation future. With Hashem’s help, the kehillah NNJKIDS enjoys from the community at work of support for day schools. This show for the NNJKIDS organization: Northern fund will be operational and successful in large. Working in tandem, the community of unity and strength is vital in order to New Jersey Kehillot Investing In Day the future, when the presently single indi- rabbis spearheaded the campaign by intro- effect change.” O Schools. Indeed, Rabbi Steven Burg and Rabbi Cary Friedman of the Union of Orthodox Jewish Congregations of America describe the fund’s creators and administra- tors, as well as those who support it, as “the ideological heirs of Rabbi Yehoshua ben Gamla, who reminded the community that it bore the responsibility for the education of each and every Jewish child.” NNJKIDS is a crucial first step in a broad- er long-term initiative to assure a high-qual- ity dual curriculum and to make day schools affordable for Jewish children. Its parent group, the Northern New Jersey Jewish Education for Generations (JEFG) is a newly formed non-profit organization whose mission is fourfold: • Assuring that every child within the community has access to a quality dual curriculum-education, regardless of a family’s ability to pay; • Revising the current day-school eco- nomic model, which places the responsi- bility for financing day-school education exclusively on the shoulders of parents; • Identifying and implementing cre- ative solutions to reduce costs by collabo- rating across the day-school network; and • Partnering with communities in New Jersey and nationwide to identify and secure all available sources of public and private funding. JEFG comprises a broad coalition of edu- cators and rabbinic, organizational, and lay leaders, who have been meeting regularly to develop far-reaching, transformational solutions to ensure the future viability of the schools in their communities. They have researched solutions implemented by Jewish communities across the country that are grappling with the same stresses. The essence of the kehillah fund is its sense of achdus. “These are our kids and our families. The word ‘our’ represents the essence of a community,” says Gershon Distenfeld, who serves as chair of NNJKIDS and treasurer of JEFG. “While raising money is essential, the method is equally important. The kehillah fund is specifically designed to reinforce a sense of communi- ty responsibility, premised on the under- standing that the spiritual and academic foundation provided to our children assures the strength and continuity of our community as a whole.” Acclaimed as one of the most energetic 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 19 BAGEL STORE Mother’s Musings Continued from Page 17 Continued from Page 18

and female, have similar grievances. an amazing experience! Thank you so “It’s just crazy,” said one young lady last much, Shalom, for giving us this won- weekend. “I don’t understand why they derful opportunity! We were so close don’t even let us sit together at weddings; to the players we could practically it’s just out of control,” she said. Some of touch them! I must admit that I am them asked if I had any ideas that could not a huge baseball fan, but seeing a possibly help them. They spoke as if they game in person can hold my attention. were drowning or even teetering at the And, of course, when I got a little edge of a cliff. I suggested that perhaps I antsy, I was able to take a shpatzier could start a column in this paper that around the stadium—literally. As my each week, in a respectable way, profiled husband and two of my children were two single men and two single women— busy following the ins and outs of the along with their photos—so that they game, I made a full circle around the could possibly field potential shidduch stadium. There was much to see—and candidates outside their immediate circle don’t worry, there were TV screens of friends and acquaintances, shidduch everywhere, so it was virtually impos- meetings, and get-togethers that appar- sible to miss a moment of the game. As ently have not been effective for them. much as I enjoyed the experience, see- Some said they were willing to go ing the excitement on my kids’ faces along with the plan, but others said they made the whole trip extra special. And simply could not do it and that it might thank you again, Shalom—not only make them look more desperate than did these kids get to see a game from they already are. I disagreed. I said I field level, but we have four more tick- thought it could be done on a very decent ets in two weeks, so the rest of the level that would give them the opportuni- crew will get a chance to experience ty to break out of the box they presently this same excitement! find themselves in. Not every moment in life makes my One of the other young women then heart sing, but if we can just isolate those spoke up and said that she thought it might perfect pictures… I saw a wonderful be an idea to explore for the long run. Then movie this past week, and the last line in she said something that really brought out the movie put everything in life in per- the sadness of the whole situation. She spective: “Music is all around us—all you said, “Let’s forget about the newspaper for a have to do is listen!” O minute. I need to know if you have anyone Phyllis Joy Lubin is an attorney with Rosenfeld & that you can set me up with now.” O Maidenbaum, LLP, who resides in Cedarhurst with her husband Leonard and six children: Naftali, Shoshana, Rivka, Rochel, Yosef, and Lea. Comments for Larry Gordon are welcome at She welcomes your questions and comments at [email protected]. [email protected].

20 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 21 spa said, “Customers need to exercise That first interview following the common sense when using tanning warning was with a young couple stand- beds.” Now there’s an oxymoron, because ing outside a salon. (Young people are if these tanned wannabes had any com- more likely to use tanning beds, because mon sense they wouldn’t be using tan- older folks would have difficulty getting ning beds in the first place! into them. And even if we were motivat- Just for the record, has anyone seen ed enough to get in, after lying in one what those “beds” look like? They’re position for any length of time, chances Beds Are For Sleeping In deep and narrow, resembling a cross are high that we wouldn’t be able to get between a coffin and a pod—those out—at least not gracefully!) Apparently some people are more of pity for all the people who will be out pods that appear in some grade B sci- The people in the street answered the interested in appearing healthy than in of business and/or out of a job. Common ence-fiction films. In those movies, the interviewer’s questions with heavy actually being healthy! Last week, when sense dictated that there would likely be pods are sent here by the leader of an doses of skepticism. The female’s the bad news came out that tanning a major decrease in business, but now I’m alien planet in order to foster their response was, “I don’t expect to change beds are most definitely a cause of can- not so certain. Making money is a huge inhabitation of the planet earth. Having what I do, because nothing has really cer, one might have assumed that tan- motivator, so when a negative bulletin watched one or two sci-fi flicks, I know been proved yet and I love to tan.” And if ning-bed manufacturers, as well as the threatens to interfere with that, people a pod when I see one. that response was incredible, it was salons in which they are used, would be fight back—vociferously! Still, we can save our sympathy for nothing compared to the male’s answer. out of business. This is a direct online quote from one manufacturers, salon owners, and their “Well, yeah, sure, okay, so it might be Because I have never availed myself of salon owner: “There’s nothing wrong employees. Not only is the industry dangerous. But hey, lots of things in life this tanning meshugas—and I don’t know with ultraviolet tanning when it’s done in fighting back, but the customers are as are dangerous.” DUH! anyone who has—I never gave much moderation.” It made for good reading, well. Immediately following the To be fair, this couple probably hadn’t thought to the practical aspects of the but in light of the fact that international exposé about the dangers, I saw a tele- seen or heard the television report. Still, business. But many people earn a living cancer experts have moved tanning beds vised “man in the street” interview of to disregard the information that was by providing the tanning experience to and ultraviolet radiation into the top can- tanning spa customers. That was a log- presented by the reporter seemed to anyone willing to pay for it, so, when the cer risk category, a salon owner’s dis- ical choice, since they’re the ones who indicate that these two are dimwitted. news surfaced last week urging people to claimer is hardly comforting. may now face lifestyle changes. And that’s putting a genteel spin on it. stay away from tanning beds, I felt a stab Another owner/operator of a tanning Tanning is a lifestyle. Just hearing about the dangers—even secondhand—should have set off an alarm bell and an alert that this is a seri- ous matter. But it didn’t. It wasn’t clear if these two were a married couple or just friends. Hopefully it’s the latter, because it’s frightening to think that these two dunces might procreate. By television programming stan- dards, the news segment was both com- prehensive and lengthy. It opened with a testimonial by a young woman who had received a devastating cancer diag- nosis, believed to be a result of her long- time exposure to ultraviolet light. Then, in addition to the girl and her personal physician, who also appeared in this report, other doctors were asked to weigh in with opinions. There were no dissenters. They unanimously agreed that tanning bed users are 75 percent more likely to develop cancer. One doctor said that the younger a per- son is when he starts tanning, the more likely he is to run into trouble. Specifically mentioned were the under- 30-year-olds. It’s hard to understand why 30 is the magic number, but there you have it. No matter the age, it sounds like a huge risk. Reports and news bulletins are not always accurate, and opinions are just that—opinions. Additionally, there are usually two sides (or more) to every story, and there is no shortage of scare tactics out there. Therefore, not every exposé can be believed. But, on the out- side chance that this is a real concern, and until one knows for certain that it isn’t, exactly how important is it to have a tan? Some of us scare more easily than oth- ers. I would be in the first category. If a doctor informed me that a practice was dangerous, I would back off, and stay off, until I knew for sure. It will be interesting to see how the public responds. Chances are that most of the people who frequent tanning salons are under 30, and that’s a problem in and of itself. Young people tend to feel invincible. It doesn’t work that way with older folks. We’ve already discov- ered that we’re neither invincible nor immortal. So the likelihood is that many of these young shtarkes will continue dropping into salons to tan in the beds 22 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

and fry themselves like latkes. s”xc That’s bad news for them, but good news for the industry. The only possibil- ity that tanning addicts will call a halt to the activity is if they see evidence of how badly it will age them. That might stop them from pooh-pooh-ing the

Since this is all about vanity, a close-up of the wrinkles might have had more impact.

warnings. The television news explained that the tanning process thins out colla- gen, which is the plumping factor! If only they had shown pictures. Hearing about wrinkles is one thing, but seeing them is another. Since this is all about vanity, a close-up of the wrinkles might have had more impact. Meanwhile, the rest of us will stick to our old-fashioned beds—the ones that come with a box spring and mattress. They don’t cause cancer, and they also don’t provide that healthy glow that’s all the rage these days. But what is looking a little pale compared to staying safe? And health and safety aside, who wants to deal with premature wrinkling and aging? We all get there soon enough without the help of ultraviolet light, thank you! O

Hannah Berman lives in Woodmere and is a licensed real-estate broker associated with Marjorie Hausman Realty. She can be reached at [email protected] or 516-902-3733.

Remember that article? Visit our archive section and find any issue of the 5 Towns Jewish Times online @ www.5TJT.com

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 23 various components and modes of uniqueness as human beings. human life. This is not to say that the animal self is to be rejected in favor of the Divine Food And Fodder human self. These are our two souls, both The Kabbalistic masters tell us that of which are indispensable to a life of ful- each and every one of us has not one, but fillment and purpose. Even as we stimu- two souls: an animal soul, which embod- late the Divine in us to rise above the ies our natural, self-oriented instincts; merely animal, we must also develop and and a G-dly soul, embodying our tran- refine our animal selves, learning to culti- From The Chassidic Masters scendent drives—our desire to escape the vate the constructive aspects of selfhood “I” and relate to that which is greater than (e.g., self-confidence, courage, persever- ourselves. ance) while weeding out the selfish and The Seven Kinds As its name implies, the animal soul the profane. constitutes that part of ourselves that is In the Torah, wheat is regarded as the common to all living creatures: the mainstay of the human diet, while bar- For the L-rd your G-d is bringing you to achievement, there are seven fruits that instinct for self-preservation and self-per- ley is mentioned as a typical animal a good land…a land of wheat, barley, crown the human and botanical har- petuation. But man is more than a sophis- food (cf. Tehillim 104:15 and Melachim 1, grapes, figs, and pomegranates; a land of vest. These are the seven fruits and ticated animal. There are qualities that 5:8; see also Sotah 14a). Thus, “wheat” oil-yielding olives and [date] honey. grains singled out by the Torah as exem- are unique to us as human beings—the represents the endeavor to nourish —Devarim 8:8 plars of the Holy Land’s fertility: wheat, qualities deriving from our G-dly soul. what is distinctly human in us, to feed Our Sages tell us that, originally, all barley, grapes, figs, pomegranates, The point at which we graduate beyond the Divine aspirations that are the trees bore fruit, as will also be the case olives, and dates. the self and its needs (How do I survive? essence of our humanity. “Barley” repre- in the Era of Mashiach. A fruitless tree is The 15th day of the Hebrew month of How do I obtain food, shelter, money, sents the endeavor to nourish and a symptom of an imperfect world, for Shevat is the day designated by the power, knowledge, satisfaction?) to a develop our animal soul—a task no less the ultimate function of a tree is to pro- Jewish calendar as the New Year for Trees. supra-self perspective (Why am I here? crucial to our mission in life than the duce fruit. On this day, we celebrate the trees of G-d’s What purpose do I serve?) is the point at cultivation of our G-dly soul. If “man is a tree of the field” (Devarim world, and the tree within us, by partak- which we cease to be just another animal 20:19) and fruit is the tree’s highest ing of these seven fruits, which typify the in G-d’s world and begin to realize our Excitement Wheat and barley, the two grains among the Seven Kinds, represent the staples of our inner makeup. Following these come five fruits— appetizers and desserts on our spiritu- al menu—which add flavor and zest to our basic endeavor of developing our animal and G-dly souls. The first of these is the grape, whose defining characteristic is joy. As the grapevine describes its prod- uct in Yotam’s parable (Shof’tim 9:13), “my wine, which makes joyous G-d and men.” Joy is revelation. A person ignited by joy has the same basic traits he possesses in a non-joyous state—the same knowl- edge and intelligence, the same loves, hates, wants, and desires. But in a state of joy, everything is more pronounced: the mind is keener, the loves deeper, the hates more vivid, the desires more aggres- sive. Emotions that ordinarily show only a faint intimation of their true extent now come out into the open. In the words of the Talmud, “When wine enters, the concealed emerges.” A joyless life might be complete in every way, yet it is a shallow life: every- thing is there, but only the barest surface is showing. Both the G-dly and the animal souls contain vast reservoirs of insight and feeling that never see the light of day because there is nothing to stimulate them. The grape represents the element of joy in our lives—the joy that unleash- es these potentials and adds depth, color, and intensity to everything we do.

Involvement We might be doing something fully and completely; we might even be doing it joyously. But are we there? Are we involved? Involvement means more than doing something right, more than giving it our all. It means that we care, that we are invested in the task. It means that we are affected by what we are doing, for the better or for the worse. The fig, the fourth of the Seven Kinds, is also the fruit of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil—the fruit of which Adam and Eve tasted, thereby commit- ting the first sin of history. As Chassidic teaching explains, knowledge (da’as) 24 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES implies an intimate involvement with dreds of seeds is wrapped in its own sac Struggle Perfection the thing known (as in the verse, “And of pulp and is separated from its fel- For most of us, life is synonymous As the fig is countered by the pomegran- Adam knew his wife”). Adam’s sin derived lows by a tough membrane. In the same with struggle. We struggle to forge an ate, so, too, is the olive in us contrasted by from his refusal to reconcile himself with way, it is possible for a person to do identity under the heavy shadow of our seventh fruit, the date, which repre- the notion that there are certain things good deeds—many good deeds—yet parental and peer influence; we strug- sents our capacity for peace, tranquility, from which he must distance himself. He they remain isolated acts, with little or gle to find a partner in life, and then and perfection. While it is true that we’re desired to intimately know every corner no effect on his nature and character. we struggle to preserve our marriage; best when we’re pressed, it is equally true of G-d’s world, to become involved with He may possess many virtues, but they we struggle to raise our children, and that there are potentials in our soul that every one of G-d’s creations—even evil, do not become him; he may be full of then struggle in our relationship with well forth only when we are completely at even that which G-d had declared out of good deeds, yet he remains morally and them as adults; we struggle to earn a peace with ourselves—only when we have bounds to him. spiritually hollow. living, and then struggle with our guilt achieved a balance and harmony among Adam’s fig was one of the most If the fig represents our capacity for over our good fortune. And underlying the diverse components of our souls. destructive forces in history. In its equal- total involvement and identification it all is the perpetual struggle between Thus the Psalmist sings: “The tzaddik ly powerful constructive guise, the fig with what we are doing, the pomegran- our animal and G-dly selves, between (perfectly righteous person) shall bloom represents our capacity for a deep and as the date palm” (Tehillim 92:13). The intimate involvement in our every posi- Zohar explains that there is a certain tive endeavor—an involvement which species of date palm that bears fruit only signifies that we are one with what we after 70 years. The human character com- are doing. The pomegranate is hypocrisy in its prises 7 basic attributes, each consisting of 10 subcategories; thus, the tzaddik’s Deed blooming after 70 years is the fruit of “Your lips are like a thread of scarlet,” noblest form: the insistence on acting absolute tranquility—the product of a extols Shlomo haMelech in his celebra- soul whose every aspect and nuance of tion of the love between the Divine character has been refined and brought Groom and His bride, Israel, “your better and more G-dly than we are. into harmony with oneself, one’s fellow, mouth is comely; your temple is like a and one’s G-d. piece of pomegranate within your While the olive and date describe two locks” (Shir haShirim, 4:3). As interpret- very different spiritual personalities, they ed by the Talmud, the allegory of the ate is the fig’s antithesis, representing our self-oriented instincts and our both exist within every man. For even in pomegranate expresses the truth that our capacity to overreach and act in a aspiration to transcend the self and the midst of our most ardent struggles, “even the empty ones amongst you are way that surpasses our internal spiritual touch the Divine. we can always find comfort and fortitude full of good deeds as a pomegranate [is state. It is our capacity to do and achieve The olive in us is that part of our- in the tranquil perfection that resides at full of seeds].” things that are utterly incompatible selves that thrives on struggle, that the core of our souls. And even in our The pomegranate is not just a model with who and what we are at the pres- revels in it, that would no more most tranquil moments, we can always for something that contains many partic- ent moment. escape it than escape life itself. Just find the challenge that will provoke us to ulars. It also addresses the paradox of The pomegranate is hypocrisy in its like an olive, say our Sages, which yet greater achievement. O how an individual may be empty and, at noblest form: the refusal to reconcile yields its oil only when pressed, so, the same time, be full of good deeds as a oneself to one’s spiritual and moral sta- too, do we yield what is best in us Based on the teachings of the Lubavitcher Rebbe; pomegranate. tion as defined by the present state of only when pressed between the mill- adapted by Yanki Tauber. Courtesy of MeaningfulLife.com via Chabad.org. Find more The pomegranate is a highly com- one’s character; the insistence on acting stones of life and the counterforces of Torah articles for the whole family at partmentalized fruit: each of its hun- better and more G-dly than we are. a divided self. www.chabad.org/parshah.

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 25 Dear Esther, agement skills. They tend to engage in a My story is complicated. My daughter, lifelong painful pattern. It takes a heavy “Rose,” is 23 years old. For as long as I can toll on them and also on all the people remember, she has had a serious prob- who orbit their world. It also can affect lem with being on time. Though the rest their self-esteem, which only exacerbates of the family is OK in the time-manage- the issue. ment department, Rose has always been It’s easy for people like yourself or extremely out of control. your husband to believe that Rose’s Her tendency to be late has caused intention is to annoy you or disrespect her many serious problems over the you, or that she simply doesn’t care years. School was a constant problem. about anyone else’s schedules or needs. Besides showing up late for classes, she In fact, in most cases like the one you would procrastinate doing papers and describe, it really isn’t personal at all. often failed to get them in on time. She The fact that chronically late individ- is very bright and probably would have uals show up late for things they really been a star student, but this problem love as well as things they’d rather really sabotaged her. avoid, even when being late can really I know that over the years it has affect their lives in a very negative way, caused her problems with friends, tells us that it is very likely that they are always keeping them waiting. I can think hardwired to be late. Their problem may of at least two dear friends who ultimate- be deeply embedded in the lobes of ly moved on because they just got so their brains. Therefore, telling someone tired of always being kept waiting. like Rose not to be late is like telling a We’ve had numerous yelling matches naturally overweight person not to eat over the years, since it drove me nuts. But so much. Somehow, the message never at some point, I decided she was grown quite has the powerful punch we expect up, that it was no longer my problem, and it to have. I stopped trying to “fix” her. I know that it It sounds as though you have figured has caused problems for her at work, but most of this out for yourself, and until I’ve tried hard to disconnect from the you remarried you managed to arrive at consequences. a place of acceptance—which I’m sure Now here is where it gets complicated. was great for your overall relationship I got divorced from Rose’s father about six with Rose. Now you’ve got Jack to worry years ago. Thankfully, last year I remar- about, and you’ve raised the bar really ried a very lovely man, “Jack.” He has a lot high for yourself and your family. of great qualities but is also very serious I appreciate your desire to bend over and a bit rigid. Rose is single, and she does backwards in an attempt to be the best not live at home. However, when I invite wife and deliver the perfect family to my children over for one reason or anoth- Jack. We should all try to be the best we er, Rose is—as always—very late. It drives can be toward our spouses, whether my husband crazy. we’ve been married for 6 months or 60 I think that when women remarry years. However, as I so often say, ulti- (and I hope the same is true for men), we mately you can only be responsible for try extra hard to make sure that it’s a suc- your own behavior and not the behav- cessful marriage. We’re older, smarter, ior of your family members. and still suffering from past hurts, so we There are no perfect families. I’m sure try to be on really good behavior. We there are some quirky individuals in want to make everything perfect and Jack’s family who won’t be 100 percent stress-free. to your liking. You’ll learn how to deal Several weeks ago, it was my birth- with them, just as Jack will have to learn day. Jack arranged a dinner for me and how to deal with Rose. There is a won- both of our families. It was supposed derful book by the name of Never Be to be a surprise. When I showed up, Late Again: 7 Cures for the Punctually everyone was there except for Rose. My Challenged, by Diana DeLonzor. It husband was fuming. He wanted every- wouldn’t hurt to buy a copy for Rose, but thing to be perfect. We decided to not also to buy a copy for Jack, so that he can start the dinner until she arrived, develop greater insight into Rose’s which was a good half-hour after I behavior and perhaps find some com- arrived. For the rest of the evening, Jack passion toward her struggles. was upset, and the entire evening was In the meantime, particularly consid- ruined. ering the fact that Jack is a rigid kind of I’ve tried really hard to disconnect guy, there is nothing wrong with decid- from Rose’s problem. And I thought I did ing together with Jack on certain rules a pretty good job. Now I feel as though to live by, so that the two of you never I’ve been pulled right back in, because I find yourselves sitting around twiddling have to watch Jack’s reaction, and I feel your thumbs, waiting for Rose to finally his contempt for the situation. show up. For instance, if you’ve invited I don’t know how to handle Rose, her Rose over for dinner at a certain time, lateness, Jack’s anger over it, and the and she (surprise, surprise), doesn’t whole mess. Any thoughts? show up at the appointed time, begin Caught in the Middle your meal without her. Same goes for meeting at a restaurant. Dear Caught, This is not meant to be a punishment People who are chronically late suffer from much more than poor time-man- Continued on Page 28

26 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 27 things. No representation means that you much more in money, unknowns, you get what you see: If it works, fine; if and aggravation than buying an avail- it doesn’t, it is your problem. The bank able ordinary home for sale. Does this does not want to know about or be mean that you should avoid all foreclo- responsible for anything that does not sure sales? Not necessarily, but it does work, is not finished, is broken, etc., on mean that you must go in with your eyes that property. wide open and be very meticulous about A lender also will not give representa- checking everything out before you Foreclosure Pitfalls tion on whether work done on a proper- move ahead. O ty by a previous owner was done to I can no longer count the number of a different turn, and the lenders hold- code. Nor will they represent if there are Anessa Cohen lives in Cedarhurst and is a licensed real-estate broker and a licensed N.Y.S. times the phone has rung and the cus- ing these properties are not of the any open permits or certificates of com- mortgage broker with over 20 years of experience, tomer on the line has asked me if I have same mind and spirit they were in pletion on any construction. They will offering full-service residential and commercial any foreclosures I could show him. A prior years. not even represent if a certificate of real-estate services (Anessa V Cohen Realty) and mortgaging services (First Meridian Mortgage) in foreclosure, some perceive, means the Due to the drop in real-estate values, occupancy exists on the property. The the Five Towns and throughout the tri-state area. opportunity to purchase a more valu- many lenders today are finding that foreclosure sale is basically a “buyer She can be reached at 516-569-5007 or via her website, www.AVCrealty.com. Readers are able house than they would ordinarily they have properties on their hands beware” situation. encouraged to send questions or comments to be able to afford. The reality, as opposed whose values have dropped below the I have even been involved in deals [email protected]. to the perception, of “foreclosure equals mortgage amounts currently owed to with new construction foreclosures bargain” is another story. them. This leaves the lenders in a where the builder did not follow the Many years ago, a foreclosure on the quandary over whether to accept the architectural plans approved by the market would mean that the vultures offers from buyers interested in those Building Department and built homes MINDBIZ were flying over the house, just waiting foreclosed properties (settling for less that exceeded the size of the approved Continued from Page 26 for the opportunity to jump down and than the full amount of the mortgage plans. The lenders obviously gave no grab that free meal sitting there waiting still owed to them on a property, known representation, and the buyers who for Rose, but rather a way of protecting for them. The lender, stuck with a house as a “short sale”), as opposed to holding purchased these homes in foreclosure yourselves from the sense of chaos that they never wanted, was happy to sell it at on to those properties until such time sales had to either go for variances and can often ensue when dealing with peo- a bargain price to a ready and able buyer, as they can recoup the mortgage monies file new architectural drawings, or hire ple who have Rose’s problem. Go about just to be able to get the house off the red due on them. builders to demolish the parts of the your business, do what you need to do, in its books. There were always opportu- A short sale situation does not (at house that did not comply and rebuild and don’t make it about Rose. Don’t nities available for real “finds” for some- least in the Five Towns area) necessarily them to conform to code—all very make her the center of your organized one with ready cash and the ability to create the atmosphere for getting a bar- expensive additions to what they paid lives. Enjoy her for who she is, for the close quickly. The key to this way of gain, although a buyer might get a slight for those foreclosures. In the end, great qualities she possesses—not for doing business for the lenders involved reduction in price, due to the common these purchases became overpaid her ability to play by your rules. You’ll all was that their priorities were always that conditions that go together with a typi- nightmare foreclosure sales (my own be much happier that way. of protecting their investors by recoup- cal foreclosure process. What do those terminology). Esther ing their full mortgage amounts due on conditions consist of? A foreclosed What is the moral of these foreclo- those properties; they were not interest- property offered for sale by the bank, sure tales? Unless you are a very sophis- Esther Mann, LMSW, has a private practice in ed in how much the houses sold for for one, is usually offered with no repre- ticated buyer with deep pockets, foreclo- Lawrence. Esther is a psychotherapist and life coach and can be reached at 516-314-2295 or beyond that. sentations made on the property. sure is not for you in this economic envi- [email protected]. She works with individuals, Today’s foreclosure market has taken Translated, this can mean a host of ronment. In fact, it can end up costing couples, premarital couples, and families.

28 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES and anger and anti-Semitism, is truly dif- ferent from the one that existed before the Second World War. History On The Heart His essay was characteristically bril- liant and lyrical. But it was also as wrong as any collection of words has BY RABBI AVI SHAFRAN It is a singularly Jewish trait to be so does not, make them less relevant. For ever managed to be. Hitler may be his- attuned to history. only our own determined actions and tory (in the colloquially flippant use of How we came to meet is a long Even Jews who are not religiously devotion to G-d and to others can merit the word) but his proud progeny, unfor- story, and of no particular import here. observant have history on the heart. That the end of Jewish travail. Only then can tunately, are alive and well. The Nazi- But a guest in my office several years is why Jews love to seek out their roots, the mourning stop. And so Tishah B’Av inspired imagery common in Arab ago was a young non-Jewish musician, why they inquire about those of other remains the saddest day. newspapers and scrawled on European the lead member of what he called a Jews they meet, why there are Jewish Jewish history-headedness yields not grave-markers are not without mean- “neo-punk” band. genealogical societies, history lectures, only memory, but fear as well—and the ing. The building of gas chambers may As he left, he gave me a gift, his Holocaust museums and commemora- contemporary world scene does not not be under way, but the aiming of group’s most recent CD. Although my tions. And Jews who embrace their reli- reassure. One sees nations that are missiles assuredly is. And while it may musical tastes run in other directions, gious heritage more fully are even more lethal mixtures of advanced weaponry be heartening to imagine best-case sce- I was touched by the gesture and exquisitely sensitive to the past, not only and retarded reason, cauldrons of con- narios, history-honed hearts can easily thanked him. Then, realizing that he the recent but the long ago. tentiousness heavily spiced with vio- imagine other possibilities. would probably want a report that I This Tishah B’Av, like on every one, lence, cruelty, and, of course, passionate And yet, the Three Weeks are pointed- had given his work a listen, I told him observant Jews fasted and wept over hatred of Jews. ly followed by the “Seven of that I would be unable to do so for a the tolls taken by the travails of the Weapons of mass destruction are Consolation,” when the synagogue read- number of days, since it was in the Jewish past. They sat low like mourn- well on the way to being produced in ings from the Prophets consist of Divine middle of the “Three Weeks” period ers for much of the day, and read about Iran, where a presidential deputy was reassurances that, although we have suf- during which observant Jews refrain the destruction of the Temples, recit- recently forced to resign his position fered grievously and often, suffering from certain joyous pursuits and do ing poetic dirges for hours about those because he dared express something need not be our future; things can be not listen to music. I explained that Jewish catastrophes and others other than utter hatred for Israeli Jews. better. The comfort, though, derives not the period commemorates the (including the previous century’s; And while Pakistan, whose nuclear from any Wieseltierian refusal to coun- destruction of the two central Jewish there may be concern about the lessen- capability is well established, may be tenance the truth about Jew-hatred Temples in Jerusalem, the first one ing attendance at Holocaust commem- something of an ally today, it is crawling throughout history or the possibility more than two millennia ago, as well orations, but as long as there is Tishah with Islamic extremists (not a rare breed that what was could ever again be. It as a number of subsequent Jewish his- B’Av there will be Jewish memory). anywhere these days). comes, rather, from being reminded of torical tragedies. Many of us this year bemoaned, too, In 2002, Leon Wieseltier famously Who is in charge, Who alone can pro- He seemed puzzled by the fact that the tarnished image of observant Jews entitled a piece he wrote for The New tect whomever He chooses, whoever events so distant in time could be so these days, the result of recent head- Republic “Hitler is Dead.” In it, he decried merits His protection. pressing in the present as to evoke fast- lines. It seemed almost appropriate to the “mythifying habit” of perceiving Jew- And with that hope the sensitive Jew ing or refraining from music. “That’s include newspapers among the dirges hatred over history as a cohesive evil, takes heart, and sets himself to the quiet just too funny,” was his response. I recited on the day. scoffed at those who perceive the possi- work of being better. O think he meant that he found the The fact, though, that most of the bility of a future “second Holocaust,” and This essay was adapted from an earlier version notion mystifying. And it might be, to mourned events took place hundreds, proposed that Jews come to recognize published in 2004. Rabbi Shafran is director of someone from my guest’s background. even thousands, of years ago did not, and that our world, even with all its bluster public affairs for Agudath Israel of America.

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 29 valuable. However, to a wealthy man engaged in teaching that Torah to the even vast sums seem small.” Since Jewish people. At this point in his life, Moshe had attained such spiritual per- he was a giant of a man, and in no way fection, these things seemed simple to could he be compared to the typical him; hence, he used the expression, person. So while these things may not “What does Hashem want from you have seemed lofty to him, to his audi- but this?” ence they were gargantuan! Why would Why would Moshe Rabbeinu compare Moshe use his own experiences as the himself to the average person? measuring rod against which the aver- The difficulty with this Gemara is age person should compare himself? The Shmuz On that it implies that Moshe was using The answer to this question is himself as the standard of measure- based on a different perspective on ment for the average person. It’s as if human capacity. To gain that view- The Parashah he were implying, “If I can reach this, point, let us take a look at an interest- then so can you.” Yet we know that ing phenomenon. Moshe towered over every other Being tied to a peg in the ground. In Limiting Beliefs of, “What does Hashem ask from you human ever created. He reached dizzy- parts of Asia, the elephant remains the R’ BEN TZION SHAFIER but this?”—as if to imply that it is but ing heights of perfection that no beast of choice for lugging heavy loads. a small request. other human before or after will As part of its workday, an adult elephant And now Yisrael, what is Hashem your The Gemara in Berachos is troubled attain. After 80 years of unparalleled will pull logs weighing thousands of G-d asking of you, but to fear Hashem, to pounds through long stretches of forest go in all of His ways, to love Him, and undergrowth. Yet at night, that same ele- serve Him with all of your heart and soul. phant will be controlled by being tied to —Devarim 10:12 a small peg in the ground. In this pasuk, Moshe Rabbeinu set While it would be clear to you and before the Jewish people the categories There are many situations where we me that a 14,000 pound creature could of human growth and accomplishments: easily break away from the light ropes 1. To fear Hashem; don’t reach up for greatness because holding it, the reality is that it cannot. It 2. To go in all of His ways; cannot escape—not because it isn’t 3. To love Hashem; motivated, and not because it doesn’t 4. To serve Him with all of your heart we are contained—not by ropes, but want to, but because in the elephant’s and your soul. understanding, it just can’t be done. Each category is a world in and of by limiting beliefs. In that part of the world, the baby ele- itself and would take man a lifetime to phant is tied to a peg in the ground accomplish. Together, these four group- shortly after birth. At that stage in its ings comprise all service to Hashem and development, it might weigh 250 are the measure of the perfection of the pounds and isn’t strong enough to break human. by this and asks, “Is fear of Hashem a growth, he spent 40 days without the rope that holds it. From that point Yet, amazingly, when Moshe intro- small thing?” The Gemara answers, food, drink, or sleep, and was taught forward, every day of its life, the ele- duces these concepts to the Jewish “Yes, to Moshe it was a small thing. To the entire Torah by Hashem. phant will be tied to that peg in the nation, he begins with an expression a poor man, even small items seem For the next 40 years, he was ground. Even when the animal has

30 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES reached maturity and will be called rectly and the ability to find the right upon to lug felled trees weighing over path. 4,000 pounds, it will remain tied to a That process of making the right small peg. The understanding is firmly choices shapes me into a different per- fixed in its mind: it can’t escape. son. It starts the process of change. Limiting beliefs. Many times we are Once that process is engaged, if I con- tied to pegs in the ground. There are tinue on it and consistently choose many situations where we don’t reach up what is right and proper, step by step I for greatness because we are contained— will become a different person and not by ropes, but by limiting beliefs that view life itself from a different van- prevent us from breaking away from the tage point. habits and lifestyle choices that stunt our While it is true that serving Hashem growth. requires work, there is a part of each per- Moshe Rabbeinu was providing an son that naturally yearns to do that invaluable lesson to us. He was demon- which is right. There is a part of me that strating the capacity of the human. He deeply desires a relationship with was showing us how great a person can Hashem. By attuning myself to that part, be. At the end of the day, Moshe was and by using role models who have made of the same substance as you and I. reached such plateaus, I too can reach the He was a person with drives, desires, and dizzying heights of greatness for which I inclinations. He overcame them. He was created. O made himself great. He took the natural The Shmuz, a life-changing mussar shiur, is strengths and weaknesses that he was available online at www.TheShmuz.com or on given, and by constantly making the right Kol HaLashon at 718-906-6400 (press 1,4,1). choices, he changed his inner nature. Finally, he reached the point that he could look at the absolute heights of per- fection and say, “So what? This isn’t a big deal. It can easily be done.” Remember that article? The lesson to us is that we too have that capacity. All of life is but an opportu- Visit our archive section nity to make choices. If from this moment forward every decision that I and find any issue of the made were the proper one—if I were to put away all of my self-interests and ask 5 Towns Jewish Times myself, “What do I think is the right way to act? What do I think Hashem wants online @ me to do in this situation?” (not “What do www.5TJT.com I want?”; not “What do I desire”; but “What is the proper way?”), I have the intuitive sense to be able to answer cor-

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 31 have to do so altruistically, without getting donated a kidney. But not enough people paid. I haven’t encountered any rabbis in general are donating a kidney. There are who are opposed to live kidney donation. approximately 80,000 people waiting for Anyone who donates a kidney has to a kidney, but fewer than 18,000 kidneys be in good health. Before donating a kid- were transplanted last year. Thousands ney, one must go through medical test- die each year waiting for a kidney, includ- ing. They are given medical tests that they ing people on my list. (A few others on my might not otherwise take—in fact, many list got sicker on dialysis and are no longer Halachic Organ Donation should understand that there is a black lives of would-be donors have been saved eligible for a kidney transplant.) Dear Editor, market for organs because of the huge through this medical testing. For exam- It’s so important that the public be edu- Thank you for publishing the article shortage of organs available for those who ple, a young person found out he had can- cated about kidney donation, so more “The Halachah of Kidneys” by Dr. Daniel need them—and that increasing the sup- cer through one of the medical tests to lives can be saved! A person can live just Eisenberg in the July 31 issue. It was a very ply of cadaveric donations could eventual- donate a kidney. He didn’t know. He had as well with one kidney as with two. Most comprehensive presentation on the vari- ly eliminate the illegal sale of such organs. no symptoms. The cancer was removed, people who are on dialysis because of fail- ous halachic issues regarding live kidney Let’s hope that more Jews educate them- and he was fine afterwards. Had he not ure of both kidneys—when one goes, the donation, and hopefully will reassure selves about this important subject, so that offered to be tested to donate a kidney other usually goes at the same time. Orthodox Jews of the permissibility of we can help save lives ethically and legally. for someone else, the cancer could have Women can still have children after kid- donating a kidney. Michael Feldstein spread. Many lives of people wanting to ney donation. (I had made a kidney match The other more complex and frequent- Member of the Board, donate a kidney have been saved through in August 2007; the kidney donor in that ly misunderstood issue vis-à-vis organ Halachic Organ Donor Society their efforts to save another life! match had a baby last month. I also know donation is the permissibility of donating A study published earlier this year sug- of other women who have had a baby organs after death. Many people don’t real- The Kidney Matchmaker gests that kidney donors have no increased after their kidney donation.) Kidney dona- ize that several major poskim, including Dear Editor, risk of kidney disease (end-stage renal dis- tion carries less risk than childbirth! How Chief Rabbis Shlomo Amar, Ovadiah Yosef, I am an Orthodox Jewish woman ease) and they live just as long as the gener- many people know that about 1 in 750 and Mordechai Eliyahu, have ruled that who donated a kidney to a stranger. al population (“Long-Term Consequences people are born with only one kidney? A brain-stem death is halachic death—and Since my kidney donation, I have been of Kidney Donation,” New England Journal great number of people who have donat- that it would be permissible (and even a wanting to do more. So, I now have a of Medicine, January 29, 2009). See my web- ed a kidney have had people try to talk great mitzvah) to donate one’s organs after project to help others who are in need site, www.KidneyMitzvah.com, for links to them out of it, thinking that the person death in order to save lives. Please check of a kidney. My brother donated a kid- other articles. will need both of their kidneys. Some of out the Halachic Organ Donor Society ney, as well, to someone on my list of I am in touch with many Orthodox those people who try to talk others out of website, www.hods.org, which includes a people in need of a kidney. Jewish people who have donated a kidney, it can possibly be walking around with complete discussion of this complicated I am a kidney matchmaker. People in mostly to strangers, including Rabbi Steven only one kidney and may never know it! subject, a list of rabbis who carry organ need of a kidney have contacted me from Moskowitz, who teaches at Machon Most people don’t know all these donor cards, and video testimonials from many parts of the USA, and international- HaTorah. Many of the kidney donors are important facts about kidney donation. If major poskim about the issue. ly as well. A match I made in Israel was chassidim and have large families. And no people knew all the facts, more people I’m sure there were many Orthodox covered recently by the Jerusalem Post. one got paid for their kidney donation. All would consider donating a kidney, and so Jews who were repulsed after the story My project is endorsed by Rabbi Dovid of us kidney donors are doing great, baruch many more lives could be saved. broke about the Brooklyn man who was Goldwasser. Hashem. None of us has any regrets, and Sincerely, accused of selling organs illegally. Without I don’t get paid for making kidney some of us wish we could do it again. Chaya Lipschutz, getting into the question of whether or matches, and I don’t charge a fee. And if Yes, it is impressive that many people Brooklyn not selling organs should be legalized, we anyone wants to donate a kidney, they in the Orthodox Jewish community have www.KidneyMitzvah.com

32 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES ing too much insulin throughout your ble, depressed, confused, or just plain The Skinny On Fat body desensitizes your tissues to lousy. When sugar levels drop precipi- insulin, which also increases your risk tously—and they will if you are continu- of developing type II diabetes and ally bombarding your body with sugar- BY RACHAEL E. dinners, candy…). other diseases of obesity. yielding foods—you are placing your SCHINDLER, MA, MS, CAI, What’s not right with this picture? You If you are trying to lose weight, the body under a great deal of stress. Your CPT are consuming a steady stream of sugar- constant stream of simple sugars body responds as if you are under attack rushing, metabolism-wrecking glucose. (including white flour), even in small and starts pumping stress hormones Throughout my experience I have So what does your body, a great and effi- quantities, will sabotage your efforts. (“fight or flight”) throughout your body. found that it is unreasonable to expect cient machine, do? It does what it’s sup- When your body has a choice of burn- These hormones, in turn, trigger a chain anyone to stick to a meal plan if they are posed to! It gets rid of the excess sugar in ing a ready source of fuel like sugar or of reactions in which your body quite lit- constantly feeling hungry or deprived. the blood via insulin. As the insulin packs digging deep into your fat stores to erally prepares for battle. That is why Ultimately, even the most well inten- away the excess sweets and stores it as burn fat, it will take the easy way out you often feel nervous or jittery when tioned dieter will fail if the meal plan is fat, your blood sugar drops, leaving you and burn sugar. However, if you don’t you are coming down from a sugar high. too hard to follow. The problem is that feeling ravenous and craving more carbo- give your body a choice—that is to say, (Did you ever notice how your kids most of the popular weight-loss diets hydrates. So you eat more starchy and you cut back on sugary carbohy- behave before and after they eat a sugary are too restrictive, either in the amount sugary carbohydrates, over and over again drates—it will be forced to burn fat! snack, or two or three?) of food (you must weigh only a quarter In order to calm down, you reach for cup of xxx and only 7 2/3 pieces of yyy) the endorphin-producing, comfort-food or variety of food (no bread, cookies, ice carb. This is the absolute worst thing cream…) they allow. More broadly, in you can do. The relief is short-lived terms of diet plans, many high-protein In large quantities, even supposedly healthy (remember, “a minute on the lips, a life- diets require that you go for weeks or time on the hips) and the cycle keeps months without ever eating a real piece repeating itself. This is why the wrong of bread (a “carb”) or a fruit. Most high- foods, such as whole grains, bread, pasta, and carbohydrate at the wrong time may carbohydrate, low-fat, low-calorie diets sap your energy and cause you to quick- are too low in protein, which means ly put on weight. that dieters on those plans will be con- even fruit, may be harmful to your waistline. And I’m not just talking about obvious stantly hungry. junk carbohydrates like candy, chips, or So what can you do? The answer is soda. In large quantities, even supposedly simple yet not so simple. The secret lies healthy foods, such as whole grains, with fat! That’s right, fat! Let me throughout the day (and night). The bottom line: If you want to switch bread, pasta, and even fruit, may be harm- explain. You start off your day with a If you were to graph the highs and from being just a food burning machine ful to your waistline. Although these bagel or sugary cereal, have some cook- lows, it would look like this: up, to being an efficient fat burning foods have more nutrients than outright ies at your coffee break, grab a slice of down, up, down, up, up, down, down, machine, you must reduce your intake junk food, they can still cause a steep rise pizza, pasta, or panini (the 3 P’s) for CRASH! This is precisely when you of sugar-yielding foods. in blood sugar that will produce the lunch, and snack on a frozen yogurt reach for the candy bar hidden in For those who are particularly sensi- aforementioned yo-yo effect in sugar-sen- later on. By late afternoon you are starv- your special drawer. Unfortunately, tive to sugar, its roller-coaster ride can sitive people. ing, and you reach for something—any- it’s not the day-to-day that is the put you in a really bad mood. As many of These foods are touted as beneficial by thing—to get you through until dinner worst of it; it’s the year-to-year. The you already know firsthand, glucose (protein/cereal bars, leftovers from kids’ prolonged amount of time of pump- spikes and dips may make you feel irrita- Continued on Page 34

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 33 The Skinny On Fat Continued from Page 33

the medical establishment, and according to the U.S. government’s food pyramid guide, we’re supposed to eat as many as 11 servings a day of starchy carbohydrates. That leaves barely any room for protein— about only two to three small servings’ worth! So why do the experts want you to fill up on sugar-yielding carbohydrates and not eat protein? It’s not that they are so keen on carbohydrates or that they have anything against protein. It’s that they don’t want you to eat too much fat! Since the 1980s, groups such as the American Heart Association, American Diabetes Association, and American Dietetic Association have advised people to strictly limit their fat consumption, because some forms of fat in the diet may boost cholesterol levels in the body and in turn may increase the risk of devel- oping heart disease. Unfortunately, protein has become a casualty of the fat fight, since protein-rich foods happen to be a major source of fat in the diet. Reducing fat consumption in effect reduces protein intake. The problem is that ever since these well-respected organizations put their seals of approval on the food pyramid, the obesity rate in the U.S. has nearly doubled! Two decades ago, 30 percent of all Americans were over- weight; now that number has jumped to more than half. There is no dispute that Americans are getting fatter. If you don’t eat fat or protein, what’s left? Those sugary carbohydrates. I’m not advocating a high-fat diet, but I think it is ridiculous to not eat protein because of a misguided “fat phobia,” or to not eat any fat. Then your body will never shrink; it will just keep all those plumped-up fat cells as is! Considering the fat aversion people have, you would think it was a use- less, unhealthy nutrient that the world would be better off without. Nothing could be further from the truth. Fat is essential for a healthy body, since it provides raw material for cholesterol and hormones, and it is the structure of cell membranes— the protective covering of all cells. Fat is also necessary for the absorption of the fat-soluble vitamins, namely A, D, E, and K. Your brain also contains a high concentration of fat. If you don’t eat enough fat, your skin will dry out and your hair and nails will get brit- tle, as often happens to people on very low-calorie, low-fat diets. Not all fats are the same. There are many different types of fat in the food we eat, and some are better for you than oth- ers. In the next article, we will explore all about fat—including the types of fat and their benefits and drawbacks. As the say- ing goes, “other people’s opinion of you does not have to become your reality.” So too with fats: don’t put them in the recy- cle bin just yet. Nutrients, satiety, and taste are but just a few reasons to keep the right fats in and not out! O

Rachael E. Schindler, MA, MS, CAI, CPT has over 18 years’ experience in exercise physiology, Pilates, and nutritional counseling and teaching, as well as multiple degrees in forensic and developmental psychology. She specializes in food and behavioral issues for both children and adults. Insurance is accepted. She can be reached at [email protected] or 917-690-5097. 34 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

Stealthy Living In The Five Towns

BY THE LEGENDARY D ANNY O’DOUL

I don’t usually feel that I am on the same page, or even in the same chap- ter, as Goldman Sachs, but yesterday Lloyd Blankfein and I were totally in sync, on the same wavelength, and speaking the same language. You see, Lloyd Blankfein (or, as I usually prefer to call him, Lord Blankfein) was busy telling the Goldman bigwigs that, while he knew and they knew and everyone else knew they were getting bonuses exceeding the gross national product of Kurdistan, there was no reason to go around rubbing it in the faces of all the “Regular Joes” and poor schmoes who work for a living. Most important, they wanted to avoid attracting any attention from the president’s financial czars and czarinas. Just one misstep, and these bureaucratic despots would turn the entire financial system on its head and effectively reverse centuries of stock market etiquette and take Wall Street back to its early days, when trading was done outside on the curb and wampum beads and sea shells were used as currency. Maybe they would even void our deal with the Indians, as against public policy, and return the island to them, who will gladly return our $24, in the form of Mohegan Sun casino chips. They may even generously just toss us a green and proclaim, “Keep the change!” Thus, Lloyd is hoping that his “stealth living” advice to his soldiers will be followed, and when the cur- rent Great Recession fades, the boys can go out and buy their penthouse triplexes, Tesla Roadster electric supercars, and kobe steaks the size of calzones. (If only we Jews in the Five Towns could be so disciplined.) So, you may see some of these Goldman Sachs neo-Puritans in their Amish- revival attire, traveling The Avenue of Pomp and Circumstance, riding on three-speed Chinese bikes purchased at Wal-Mart, and donning modest black suits and off-the-rack white dress shirts. When they actually do enter a store, it will be only for things that they absolutely need, such as milk, bread, cheese, and eggs. Gone are the days of splurging on French artisan- quality mineral spring water with just the right amount of “gentle bubbles.” No more filet mignon, free-range bison, baby lamb chops, and venison. Even Zomick’s break-away challahs might be abandoned in favor of Brach’s house brand challah rolls. Hundred-dollar bottles of Château du Chat Noir cabernet will give way to Baron Herzog white zinfandel, and black calfskin Bruno Magli loafers to Payless slip-ons. Oh, how the mighty have fallen. However, you know that each won- derful, newly minted “ish anav” may

Continued on Page 37 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 35 36 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Stealthy Living with the North Korean despot, grab Continued from Page 35 the two young journalists, and be back home in time for morning brunch at live as low-key, austerely, and stealth- the Burbank Diner. ily as he wants to, but if he doesn’t And, best of all, it got him away come home with a gorgeous gift for from the wife for a couple of days— the wife, he will be out of the and saved her a fruitless trip, not to McMansion and in the doghouse. So, mention wear and tear on the elbow, all you undercover GS execs, before to visit the ailing North Korean you finish biking home, first stop at leader. Clearly, things are so bad, Siman Tov Fine Jewelry on the corner what with the economy and our gov- of Cedarhurst and The (Central) ernment down there in Moscow, er, I Avenue of Glittering Gold, and pick mean, Washington DC, that we all out an exquisite yet value-priced long for the good old days when Michele watch, many featuring President Clinton lit up the world sparkling diamond bezels and alliga- with his smile. Even Albert Gore tor straps. Not only are they richly looked “better than Biden,” with his impressive, but they’ve also passed ruddy head and unchiseled Pillsbury muster with Lloyd, as well as the pres- Doughboy physique. ident, who will kick in an additional I let my mind drift back to just a $100 towards the purchase price if you few short years ago, when the trade in an old watch which requires a Sunday-morning news programs ran bigger, less efficient battery. the latest installments of “the And—speaking of the president— Monica and Bill Show.” Oh, how here’s the quintessential example of freshly innocent those wonder years “stealthy living.” Not only is his seem now, before socialism and administration extending olive same-sex marriage became en vogue. branches, seaweed, and salmon to the If ever there was a poster boy against North Koreans in an effort to wean “stealthy living,” it was Bill Clinton. them off nukes, but we are too polite Even the plane he flew back on was to put up much of an official stink worthy of the current president—or when two American journalists are even Lord Blankfein himself. forcibly persuaded to make “aliyah” So, all this gets me back to my to North Korea. recent you-heard-it-here-first exclusive Former VP Al Gore had to enlist the scoop about the imminent grand help of his partner in crumb cake, for- opening of Kalman’s of Korea glatt mer president Bill Clinton, whose kosher Korean barbecue restaurant, to great patriotism, need for the spot- open in the old Tea for Two and fea- light, and genuine love of succulent ture tables with barbecue grills on Korean barbecue compelled him to immediately fly over and do dinner Continued on Page 39

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 37 sparingly when experimenting. Balsamic vinegar can be used for cook- ing or, combined with olive oil and spices, as a tangy salad dressing. It is com- monly used as a sauce or marinade for chicken, meat, or sautéed vegetables. PERSONAL CHEF When using balsamic vinegar, do not use aluminum pots or containers. The pan or Balsamic Vinegar from Modena so expensive. Luckily, a lit- marination container should be non-reac- Balsamic vinegar has become a very tle balsamic vinegar goes a long way. At a tive. If you want to mellow out the flavor, popular condiment in America. Italians minimum, the aging process can take up heat it (this will sweeten the vinegar) and have been enjoying this rich, full-bodied to 12 years for true balsamic vinegar. The boil out the acidity. If not, use it without vinegar for centuries, while we have only longer it is permitted to age, the higher heat, or add it at the very end of the cook- begun to appreciate it in the last two the quality and price. Some balsamic ing process. A teaspoon or two of balsam- decades. The intense, slightly sweet flavor vinegars, depending on age, can cost hun- ic vinegar can wake up the flavor in a of balsamic vinegar readily lends itself to dreds of dollars for only half a cup! bland soup, stew, or sauce. It is a great vinaigrette dressings and gourmet sauces, accompaniment drizzled over grilled and it brings out the sweetness of fresh asparagus, onions, or grilled bread for a 2 Tbsp. butter substitute fruits such as strawberries and peaches. simple appetizer. A sprinkle of balsamic Directions: Although it is considered a wine vine- vinegar on fresh sliced strawberries or Combine olive oil, rosemary, garlic, gar, it is not made from wine, but from Some balsamic watermelon with a bit of sugar really salt, and pepper. Marinate lamb chops for grape pressings that have never been per- brings out the flavor of the fruit and will at least 20 minutes. Sear lamb chops on mitted to ferment into wine. Most bal- vinegars have have you addicted. very hot pan for 3 minutes on one side, 2 samic vinegars read “of Modena” on the minutes on the other. bottle, because the trebbiano grape, Rosemary Balsamic Lamb Chops In another pan over medium heat, 1 native to Modena, Italy, is most com- been aged for Ingredients for lamb-chop marinade: heat 1 ⁄2 teaspoons of olive oil until hot. 1 monly used to make the vinegar. The ⁄4 cup olive oil Add shallots and cook for 1 minute. Add process begins by boiling the grape juice over 100 years. 1 Tbsp. fresh rosemary, chopped (or 1 tsp. garlic and sauté for 30 seconds. Add bal- until it becomes a thick syrup. It is then dried rosemary) samic vinegar and bring to a boil. Add transferred to the wooden barrels to start 2 garlic cloves, chopped rosemary and reduce the mixture till 1 the aging process. Over the years it grad- salt and pepper thickened, about ⁄4 cup. Season with salt uates to smaller and smaller kegs made Luckily, there are less expensive bal- 4 baby lamb chops and pepper. Remove from heat and add 2 of chestnut, cherrywood, ash, mulberry, samic vinegars available for home cooks. Ingredients for vinegar sauce: tablespoons of butter substitute. Stir till 1 and juniper until it is ready for sale. All of A pint of imported Italian balsamic vine- 1 ⁄2 tsp. olive oil melted. Drizzle sauce over lamb chops these woods progressively add character gar, aged for less than 12 years, can be pur- 2 Tbsp. chopped shallots and serve. to the vinegar. As it ages, moisture evapo- chased for under $20 and is suitable for 1 tsp. garlic rates out, further thickening the vinegar vinaigrettes, sauces, or marinades. Since 1 cup balsamic vinegar Eating quality, delicious meals is easy when all the work is done for you. Hire a personal chef to and concentrating the flavor. the flavor is so intense, most recipes call- 1 Tbsp. fresh rosemary, chopped (or 1 tsp. prepare your dinners, Shabbos meals, or small Some balsamic vinegars have been ing for balsamic vinegar use one-fourth of dried rosemary) parties. For more information, contact Take Home aged for over 100 years. It is this aging a cup or even less. Overuse of balsamic 1 tsp. salt Chef personal chef services by calling 516-596- 8865, writing to [email protected], or 1 process that makes true balsamic vinegar vinegar can actually ruin a dish, so use it ⁄2 tsp. black pepper visiting www.TakeHomeChef.net.

38 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Stealthy Living gest such stealthy spots as Wildwood, Best of all, you may actually meet up Good Shabbos—one in which your Continued from Page 37 N.J., Lake George, N.Y., and Mystic, with some stealthy Goldman execs who spirits are elevated and your kid- Conn. They sure are stealthy, as your may feel flushed enough to buy you dushim are stealthy. Remember, you which patrons can crisp their own more “above the radar” friends are and your family fountain Cokes, and should always dress modestly and low- beef with choice of sauces right there probably going to be nowhere near you may even run into Lloyd himself, key in shul; otherwise, people notice at their tables. Whether or not Bill these places. You can bring your own who may pony up for a group photo of you when you waltz in after 10:00 a.m. Clinton, Al Gore, and the Kimchi sis- food to lovely efficiencies in these trav- your family and the Goldman Family And this is not just Lloyd’s advice; this ters will all be present at the gala kick- el destinations, and local attractions riding the Rockin’ Sockin’ Blue-Chip comes straight from the expert him- off ceremony is still not known at are not only reasonably priced, but Stockin’ Roller Coaster. self, The Legendary Danny O’Doul, press time. One person I know who may feature the lovely aromas of fun- This is The Legendary Danny O’Doul reigning King of Coming into Shul will definitely not be in attendance is nel cakes and hot dogs. signing off and wishing you a Great During Yekum Purkan. O President Obama, whose culinary tastes run more to the Chicago school of cuisine. Now, you’re probably asking your- self, “Self, how do I live stealthily here in the Five Towns?” Well, I think I can help you: before making any major or minor purchases, you just need to ask yourself, “What would Lloyd do?” Would Lloyd counsel his frum execs to forgo the racing stripes on their new tzizis purchase? Definitely yes! Would Lloyd buy the premade ham- burger packages at Supersol, or go for a family pack of raw chopped meat? Definitely make them yourself! Or, bet- ter yet, Lloyd may tell you to buy the “white box special” of frozen premade patties, made by Levi, the celebrity butcher, with the same loving care as the fresh patties—but available this week for the Stealthy Low Price of $2.88 per pound with 2 filled books of Supersol Savings Stamps. Yes, I am defi- nitely a “stamp collector” and I implore you to join me in my hobby—even Lloyd is an active philatelist and now just an ordinary customer of Levi. And, for those of you thinking about your summer-end vacations, may I sug-

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 39 The Apple Doesn’t Fall Far From The Tree BY FERN SIDMAN over fist, enjoying all the material posses- grandfather personally, as he was born six sions that he acquired, dating non-Jewish years after Reb Shraga Feivel was niftar in A review of “Just One Jew: The Grandson women, and never entertaining the 1948, Moishe Mendlowitz speaks of Reb of a Gadol Tells His Story,” Moishe notion of returning from whence he came. Shraga Feivel’s stellar accomplishments in Mendlowitz, Feldheim 2009. In this auto- It wasn’t until a near-death experience the world of Torah with profound respect biographical account of the vicissitudes in a horrific car accident, seven months and deep admiration. Of his grandfather, of his journey back to Hashem and a subsequent to his father’s passing, that he says, “What defined him more than Torah life, Moishe Mendlowitz, the grand- things began to change. “I was a total suc- anything was his love for Klal Yisroel. He son of Rabbi Shraga Feivel Mendlowitz, cess and a complete failure,” he says. “The constantly put the interests of the whole zt’l, reaches deep into the hearts of his former was how I appeared on the out- ahead of his own. He sent his donors to readers, teaching profound lessons that side, the latter was what I couldn’t even other yeshivas that needed shoring up; he resonate within our souls. As an added admit to myself,” he ruefully observed. sent his best students away to yeshivas bonus, this memoir is replete with vin- The year was 1986. As a man in his early where there was greater need for their tal- tage black-and-white photos of genera- tions of prominent rebbeim and mem- bers of the Mendlowitz family. In Just One Jew, Mr. Mendlowitz does not mince words as he offers a refreshing- He could not learn Torah every day in ly candid full disclosure of his departure from a Torah-observant lifestyle, as a stu- dent at Brooklyn’s Yeshiva Torah Vodaath. Monsey and then return to a completely He chronicles both his immersion into the abysmal darkness of secular deca- non-religious life in Rhinebeck. ha’ra, his desire to change finally pre- dence and his return to an observant life vailed as he committed himself to learn- with unbridled passion and honesty. ing Torah again, this time in Monsey. The son of Avraham Mordechai Before long, he came to the stark realiza- Mendlowitz, z’l, a hard-working kosher thirties, Mr. Mendlowitz took the first ents; his constant aim was not building tion that he could not learn Torah every butcher in Crown Heights, young small step in transforming his life by up his own yeshiva but improving educa- day in Monsey and then return to a com- Moishe rejected the lifestyle of his shearing off his long hair, out of respect tion in America for all Jews.” pletely non-religious life in Rhinebeck. antecedents after graduating from Torah for his family. As he points out through- Irrespective of the love and guidance It was a maiden voyage to Eretz Yisrael Vodaath. The next 15 years were spent out this book, he was never shunned or of his family, and the constant help from with his sister and brother-in-law that building an entrepreneurial career that ridiculed by his family for his aberrant his prominent uncles, Rabbi Sender turned out to be a significant turning included a highly successful string of lifestyle, and it is clear that the uncondi- Linchner and Rabbi Yitzchak Karpf, Mr. point in Mr. Mendlowitz’s life. He began lucrative businesses. tional love of his mother and sister Mendlowitz found himself negotiating to become cognizant of Hashem’s munif- Living in a palatial home in Rhinebeck, served as a source of moral strength some uneven terrain on the road back to icence throughout his entire life, yet he New York, Mr. Mendlowitz seemed at ease throughout his odyssey. a Torah life. Struggling with inner con- did not fully comprehend that a multi- in his secular life—making money hand Never knowing his revered and holy flicts and battling with his own yetzer tude of blessings and miracles were still

40 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES to come. Having experienced the holiness Hand of Hashem that guided Mr. this major void was something that Mr. organization called Just One Jew (hence of Jerusalem and the sublime ruchniyus Mendlowitz’s footsteps throughout his Mendlowitz was determined to fill. He the title of the book). of davening at the Kotel, he decided to journey. Having met and connected with was still single and wanted to get married The premise was simple: Each frum stay in Eretz Yisrael a bit longer. two outstanding figures in the world of and establish his own family of Torah person would commit himself to mentor- “I touched the wall, and just like that, kiruv work in Jerusalem, Rabbi Meir Jews. With a broken heart, he cried out ing a secular Jew who wished to learn an overwhelming flood of emotion Schuster and Jeff Seidel, it wasn’t long incessantly to Hashem, davening with more about Judaism. Based on his previ- washed over me. I burst into tears and before Mr. Mendlowitz’s prayers were kavanah and pouring out his supplica- ous experiences in the world of kiruv could not stop crying. In that moment, answered as he was afforded the opportu- tions to the One who orchestrates all work in Jerusalem, it became clear to him something that was closed opened, and nity to realize his mission in life. shidduchim. After a litany of disappoint- that when we commit to authentically something that was broken healed. I Working part time at the famed ing dates, Mr. Mendlowitz found that yet devoting our time, energy, and resources would never be the same again,” he recalls. Heritage House in the Old City of again his prayers were answered when he to a person who is seeking to re-connect And indeed, it was tefillah that would Jerusalem saw him convincing young met Esther, the woman who would with Hashem, we are shaping the future become the central aspect of his life— of K’lal Yisrael in a formidable way. something he engaged in with a palpable Mr. Mendlowitz deftly illustrates that zeal, something that he felt the compul- within the soul of each Jew lies an enor- sion to cling to, as it was the first mitzvah mous power that often remains dormant that he had discarded as a teenager. unless and until it is rekindled. It is the After returning home, he sold his “I knew that I wanted to do kiruv, power to change; to transform the mun- estate and lived with his sister and broth- dane into the holy; the power to over- er-in-law in Lakewood. While there, he but where and how, I was not come adversity and personal travails; the committed himself to learning Torah, to power to lead others and ourselves to an fitting in to the community by making awareness of the glory of Hashem and drastic modifications to his lifestyle, and sure. I knew that Hashem would the fulfillment of a Torah life. O to increasing his level of observance. After a brief and bitter marriage, Mr. point the way.” Mendlowitz was now divorced; yet his soul yearned for the completeness that Submit your photo to the had hitherto eluded him. Despite it all, he 5 Towns Jewish Times! recalls, “I will always consider my years in Lakewood as the turning point in my life. backpacking Jews to accept free accom- become his wife. Today, they both active- It was there that I regained the love of modations at the vibrant kiruv center ly work in kiruv while raising their daugh- learning Torah, started to appreciate the amongst their brethren rather than lodg- ters and son. You can upload your significance of family and the impor- ing at Arab youth hostels in the Old City, The reader cannot help but be amazed digital photos and see them tance of surrounding myself with people as well as escorting young Jews to the by Hashem’s hashgachah p’ratis as who were greater than I.” homes of those who gladly took in guests Moishe Mendlowitz recounts the innu- printed in the weekly edition In September of 1996, Mr. Mendlowitz for Shabbos meals. This was a period of merable stories and anecdotes of those decided to move to Eretz Yisrael. “My soul exponential growth in ruchniyus for Mr. whose lives he touched and who in turn of the 5 Towns Jewish Times was home at last,” he writes. “I knew that Mendlowitz, as he was now learning touched his life in such miraculous ways. I wanted to do kiruv, but where and how, Torah several hours each day and guiding His love for each and every Jew, regard- I was not sure. I knew that Hashem other lost Jews to yeshivas and a frum life. less of background, became the impetus www.5tjt.com/sendphotos would point the way.” Indeed, it was the There was only one thing missing and for his attempt to form a new kiruv

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 41 Leibowitz’s rebbi, the Alter of Slabodka. Israel of Bayswater in Far Rockaway. His formidable powers of description Once a wealthy member of the communi- Rav Moshe Chait, zt’l once again had that time-machine quality, ty was behaving in a truly horrifying man- and there you were in the Slabodka ner. Rav Chait and the shul’s president BY RABBI YAIR HOFFMAN ha’tov to one and to all. Hakaras ha’tov Yeshiva itself, hearing shmuessim from the approached him. His reaction to the even to an inanimate object. This bed Alter. Don’t ask how it could be—it was. shul’s president was violent. At this point No one who knew him was unaffected refreshed you. It revived your spirit—you, And then he transported you some- in the narrative, there are different ver- by him. His love for his talmidim, for his a tzelem Elokim, a reflection of the Divine how to Rav Yitzele Peterberger, and to Rav sions. But suffice it to say that Rav Chait congregants, and for K’lal Yisrael was seen Spirit. Reflect upon what that bed is, and Yisroel Salanter himself. Regal, tall, and caused this man to stand down, and the in his warm, loving smile and in the hand allow it to once again be in its most dig- angelic Rav Salanter. man begged for Rav Chait’s forgiveness. that extended over your shoulder as he nified state. Make that bed. Rav Moshe Chait told us of Rav Chazal tell us that a nitzutz, a spark, of spoke to you. His intellect and his grasp Your coat kept you warm. Treat it prop- Salanter’s reaction to the cholera epidem- the neshamah of the father is present in of the entire oeuvre of the mussar litera- erly. Hang it up. ic in the 1800s in the Great Synagogue of each of his children. And one can see it in ture were both quite formidable. Rav We rushed to turn the mundane into Vilna. Somehow, some way, he had what every one of Rav Chait’s sons: Rav Dovid Moshe Chait, zt’l, was unique in that he kedushah. We ran and made our beds. seemed was a firsthand account. Chait, the current rosh yeshiva of Chofetz combined all of these qualities in one, as A question: Rebbi, could this also be His hakaras ha’tov toward others was a Chaim in Yerushalayim—warm, wise, and he served as the rosh yeshiva of Chofetz why Chazal established the berachos? To mussar lesson in and of itself. I was once loving; Rav Boruch Chait, creative and Chaim’s branch in Sanhedria sanctify the mundane? Rav Chait’s warm zocheh to be a shaliach in a large dona- brilliant, the founder of Maarava, the HaMurchevet in Yerushalayim. smile gave you the answer. And he felt tion to the yeshiva so that the yeshiva founder of modern Torah music (the He was a master pedagogue whose pride in your question—like a loving could have a copying machine. Years later Rabbi’s Sons), author of those remarkable powers of description were nothing short father. Vast erudition and love. He con- he still warmly expressed his hakaras ha’- illustrated halachah and mussar books; of a time machine. Listened to his quered hearts. tov. He was real and genuine. He put into and Rabbi Reuvain Chait—fearless, brave, shmuessim, one was transported to anoth- His passion was mussar. And he loved practice everything that he spoke about. and inspiring, yet loving and caring. Each er time and place. I remember his vivid his beloved Midrash, the Yalkut Shimoni. Even years later, one swells with appreci- of his children carries part of his description of Shavuos on South Ninth Trained by the scions of the “Mussar ation of having known someone who neshamah. They are him. His daughters, I Street in his beloved yeshiva in the 1930s. movement,” he had the ability to unfold was so genuine, even amidst an outside am told, have equal qualities. His description of it all, especially the feel- the latent mussar gem that lay within the world full of sheker. Rav Moshe Chait personified what the ings of ruchniyus that permeated his feel- words of the Midrash. Indeed, he had Rav Chait personified humility in its ideal rosh yeshiva could and should be— ings, made it so real and palpable even for studied this text for over four decades. He very essence. His yeshiva was one of delivering passion in every shiur and the listener. You felt as if you were there. knew it through and through and was remarkable growth for its students and shmuess; exhibiting visible, palpable love You, too, were a talmid of Reb Dovid attuned to the subtle differences between was most assuredly not a cult of person- for talmidim, Torah, and K’lal Yisrael; and Leibowitz, zt’l. You felt the connection. it and other versions of the same Midrash. ality. And yet he also had a remarkable possessing an ability to speak, inspire, His shmuessim were so uplifting and He kept in touch with talmidim and strength of character. and transform. inspiring that talmidim who studied with wrote them letters. Which rosh yeshiva I was too young to be zocheh to hear It is most fitting that he passed into him would continue to listen to his writes letters to talmidim past? It is his shiurim in Gemara. There too, his the Olam HaEmes close to Tishah B’Av. It recordings for decades to come. He dis- unheard of. powers of analysis were remarkable. He should not just be the family and his cussed the mundane and transformed it There was no question that he was a was equally comfortable in the mussar talmidim that mourn this remarkable into a religious experience. link to Torah past. But he connected you texts as he was with a Gemara and a shaleim. All of K’lal Yisrael is now mourn- I remember once when some of the to it. You were that next link in the chain. Tosefos in front of him. ing. The loss is indescribable. O bachurim (myself included) were not He linked you to his rebbi, Reb Dovid In yeshiva, there were stories about his The author can be reached at making their beds. A shmuess: Hakaras Leibowitz. He linked you to Reb Dovid years in rabbanus, as the rav of the Young [email protected].

42 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

Fourth Annual accomplish great things for the well- ChampionsGate Conference being and future of our people,” Rabbi For three days in July, Orlando was the Brander said. center of a series of nationwide conversa- Speakers included Jewish leaders such tions among Modern Orthodox commu- as Malcolm Hoenlein, executive vice- nities, as more than 200 rabbinic, educa- chairman of the Conference of Presidents tional, and lay leaders from 50 communi- of Major American Jewish Organizations; ties across North America convened at Barry Shrage, president of the Combined the fourth annual ChampionsGate Jewish Philanthropies of Greater Boston; National Leadership Conference to Rabbi Ephraim Buchwald, founder of the address the most pressing challenges fac- National Jewish Outreach Program; Rabbi ing the movement. Dovid Stav, chair of Tzohar Rabbis in YU President Richard Joel presents Rabbi Jonathan Muskat and Dr. Yael Muskat of Oceanside The annual conference, sponsored by Israel; and Rabbi Abraham Cooper, associ- with the Community Growth Award. Yeshiva University’s Center for the ate dean of the Simon Wiesenthal Center. Jewish Future (CJF), is made possible by The program brought to the fore the the vision and support of Mindy and Ira expertise of YU staff and faculty. Harry Mitzner, who offered their Champions- Bloom, director of planning and per- Gate resort as the conference venue at no formance improvement for YU’s charge. Mr. Mitzner also recently Institute for University-School endowed the deanship of the CJF, held Partnership, spoke about ways to by Rabbi Kenneth Brander, in honor of address the chronic challenge of making his father, prominent philanthropist Jewish day school more affordable in a David Mitzner. session on “Community Economic The program addressed key issues in a Realities, Priorities, and Values.” direct and open manner, based on the Dr. David Pelcovitz, the Gwendolyn input of participants throughout the year, and Joseph Straus Professor of Jewish as well as the changed economic and Education at Azrieli Graduate School of social landscape since last year’s confer- Jewish Education, addressed generational ence. “Our intention was to inspire and shifts that are impacting young adults’ provoke substantive dialogue, reach con- religious observance after the post-high- sensus on the issues that we can really do school experience in Israel and other something about, and create working social dynamics, while Dr. Efrat Recognized for their leadership in the YU Community Growth Initiative Task Force are (L–R): Rick Guttman of Houston; Barbara Ast of St. Louis, MO; David Zoller of Dallas; YU President plans that will enable lay leaders and pro- Richard M. Joel; Josh Kahane of Memphis; Rabbi Daniel Alter of Denver; and Rabbi Ari Rockoff, fessionals to enrich Jewish life and Continued on Page 44 director of community partnerships at CJF.

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 43 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS technology to connect community mem- First Annual BACH Summer actually make one of their own. The after- Continued from Page 43 bers and continue the conversations that Carnival, August 16 noon continues with entertainment took place at ChampionsGate, generate Long Beach has become a most excit- including jugglers, face painting, stilt Sobolofsky, director of YUConnects, a CJF ideas to address issues affecting Orthodox ing summer destination and on Sunday walkers, and live music. There is some- program that facilitates social network- singles, and develop best practices for gov- August 16 there’ll be no place more excit- thing for everyone at the BACH Jewish ing for singles, discussed the perceived erning boards and institutions. ing than the BACH Jewish Center’s first Center’s first annual carnival and admis- pressures on young Orthodox singles. The conference highlighted the work annual summer carnival. If you’re looking sion is free. Dr. Steven Nissenfeld, clinical profes- of the Community Growth Initiative, for a fun filled day with your entire fami- For more information and to buy your ly come down to 2 East Broadway (corner discounted bracelets in advance, contact Broadway and Edwards Blvd.), 12:00-5:00 the BACH Jewish Center at 516-897-2473 or p.m. Walk in off the beach or drive in visit www.BachYouth.com. O from town. There will be amazing carni- val rides, game booths, local artists, glatt An Unexpected Lesson From Prison kosher food, music, and more. As she went through the mail at the Of course no event is complete with- Shuvu office in New York recently, one out treating deserving children to a day of particular envelope caught the secretary’s laughter and fun. As its special guests, the eye. It was an envelope from the United BACH will be hosting children from the States Treasury. Her bewilderment grew OHEL Children’s Home and Family as she opened the envelope and saw that Services. OHEL was founded in 1969 to it contained a donation check for Shuvu provide homes and families for aban- for $10 from the Treasury. She then doned, neglected, abused, and disabled noticed that the agency name listed on Jewish children. Together, the BACH and the check was the Department of Justice, the Long Beach Jewish Community wel- Bureau of Prisons, in Washington DC. come the opportunity to brighten the day “How did Shuvu get a donation from for these children. Sponsorship opportu- nities are available. With all the fun you’ll be having you Jeremy Pava of Springfield, MA; Charles Harary of Woodmere; and Rick Guttman of Houston. will want something to eat and drink too. There will be a huge variety of hot glatt kosher food at the carnival. Hot dogs, sor of management science at Sy Syms which was a product of a task force team falafel, knishes, and other favorites such as School of Business, spoke about his expe- formed at ChampionsGate last year. Co- cotton candy, popcorn, snow cones, cold rience running leadership seminars to chaired by Rick Guttman of Houston, drinks, food with Israeli flair, and more! help rabbinic and lay leaders work more Texas, and Barbara Ast of St. Louis, There will be more than enough fun to collaboratively. Morris Isaacson, director Missouri, the project introduced go around for the whole family. Children of interactive media, introduced partici- YUvillage.org, a website that will be a will surely love the Arts and Crafts pants to new technological tools that will “one-stop shopping” resource for young Pavilion where they can make and take create community. Jews looking to move to smaller commu- home holiday crafts. Featured this year The $10 donation to Shuvu sent from Conference participants have formed nities and cities outside the New York will be the Shofar Factory, where children Jonathan Pollard via the task forces that will look into ways to use metro area. O can see how a real shofar is made and U.S. Bureau of Prisons.

44 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES prison?” Mrs. Schon asked her- self. But then, as she read fur- ther, the answer became clear. The following lines read: 09185016, Pollard, Jonathan; charitable contribution. Despite being incarcerated for over 20 years, Jonathan Pollard has not forgotten the importance of a Jewish educa- tion for the children in Israel—a Shuvu education—and with the limited funds he has access to, he made a donation to Shuvu. Pollard’s donation was in response to an emergency cam- paign launched recently by Shuvu to save six of its schools—and their 1,366 stu- dents—on the verge of closure due to the financial crisis. (An anonymous donor has agreed to match all donations over $100, thus making each donation even more meaningful.) What Jonathan Pollard real- izes in prison, many free Yidden do not yet realize: the future of Am Yisrael lies in the education received by the chil- dren. Only an education including strong Jewish identi- ty and values can achieve and guarantee this future. May it be a lesson for us all. O

From West Point To The IDF: Oleh Joins Record 430 New IDF Soldiers Making Aliyah This Summer This summer’s second charter aliyah flight, organized by Nefesh B’Nefesh and the Jewish Agency, arrived on Tuesday, bringing 238 North Americans. The new arrivals are joining over 3,000 Western olim coming to Israel this summer on 16 aliyah flights—comprising 4 charter and 12 group flights. On this week’s flight were 55 olim soon to be drafted into the IDF, who are among 430 young North Americans and Britons arriving this summer through Nefesh B’Nefesh’s recently expanded soldier aliyah fund. One of the new soldiers, Tsvi Mark from Maryland, who plans to enlist in the IDF’s elite Egoz unit immediately after making aliyah, was training at the West Point U.S. Military Academy when he decided to make aliyah. “I had always wanted to join the U.S. army and train at West Point, but once I was there I realized that what I really wanted was to go home, to our land, our people, and our army.” Also on board was a large contingent of 35 olim from Cleveland, Ohio. The CEO of American Greetings Corp- oration, Zev Weiss, joined them to accompany his dear friend, and CEO of Intellectual Property Joseph Mandelbaum, who made aliyah on the flight. This charter plane featured the winning logo of the Nefesh

Continued on Page 46 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 45 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS ed: Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu; cal, and social obstacles of aliyah. The sup- write about it, and to bring pressure to Continued from Page 45 Director General of the Ministry of port and comprehensive social services pro- bear on anyone and everyone who can Immigrant Absorption Dmitry Apartsev; vided by Nefesh B’Nefesh to its 20,000 possibly help. B’Nefesh and BabagaNewz.com, an educa- Chairman of the Jewish Agency Natan newcomers, has ensured that 98% of its At Camp Kochavim in Greenville, N.Y., tional website for Jewish middle-school- Sharansky; Head of the Education olim have remained in Israel. Gilad is remembered every day. As the ers and teachers, ‘Destination Israel’ logo Department in the IDF’s Education and www.nbn.org. O boys enter the dining hall, they face a design contest, which encouraged stu- Youth Corps Colonel Roni Sulimani; CEO larger-than-life picture of Gilad and a dis- dents in Grades 4–7 to create an aliyah of El Al Israel Airlines Haim Romano; and It’s Gilad Shalit’s Birthday—What play of over 1,100 numbered ping-pong plane logo. The winning entry, drawn by Co-Founders of Nefesh B’Nefesh Rabbi Can We Get For Him? balls inside a glass case. The poster hang- sixth grader Esther Bellinsky, was painted Yehoshua Fass and Tony Gelbart. By Avrumi Ben Porat ing over it says: “The numbered ping on the side of this flight. Founded in 2002, Nefesh B’Nefesh in Gilad Shalit was captured over three pong balls ‘held captive’ below, represent Hundreds of families and friends, as cooperation with the Israeli government years ago by Arab terrorists. Nearing his the number of days Gilad Shalit has spent well as Israeli dignitaries, gathered at Ben and the Jewish Agency for Israel, is dedicat- 23rd birthday, he has now spent over 1,100 in captivity. As we pass this display each Gurion airport to welcome the country’s ed to revitalizing aliyah from North days in captivity. Gilad needs us to bring day, let us remember Gilad, amush, and newest olim at the Nefesh B’Nefesh America and the UK by removing or mini- his situation back out into the public daven to Hashem that the terrorists who arrival ceremony. Those present includ- mizing the financial, professional, logisti- forum. He needs us to talk about it, to are holding him release him, and all other P h o t o B y S a s s

o Rabbi Avrumi Portowicz, director of Camp Kochavim; Sholom Reches, Golani Survivors CIT, n T i r

a of Baltimore; Jacob Komarow of Clifton, NJ; Gabriel Miller of Woodmere; Yaakov Dov of Far m Rockaway; Yechiel Kirschner of Flushing; Tzvi Mitzman of Spring Valley, NY; and Rabbi Schiller, A flight chartered by Nefesh B’Nefesh and the Jewish Agency arrived in Israel on Tuesday carrying learning director of Camp Kochavim standing in front of the “Remember Gilad Shalit” display 238 new olim from North America. on day 1134 of Gilad’s captivity.

46 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES prisoners, immediately! May our tefilot of humiliation, low self-esteem, and pro- them overcome their impulsive behavior. development of self-esteem, and commit- reach the Kisei HaKovod, and may we be found isolation, causing pain that often Unfortunately, such facilities are scarce. ment to growth and spirituality. A profes- zoche to the Geulah Shelaima, b’mharah leads to substance abuse, eating disor- Tzofiah in Israel does fill this crucial gap sionally designed academic curriculum, b’yameinu, Amen.” ders, promiscuity, vandalism, theft, and in services. The Tzofiah staff is knowl- which includes opportunities for individ- At Camp Kochavim, they are davening even suicide. edgeable and extremely dedicated. For ual growth and creative self-expression, for Gilad, and last month they had a Jewish adolescents from Orthodox the first time, these girls feel that some- provides a strong foundation for future “Tzitzis Awareness Day” in his z’chus. homes face particularly challenging cir- body understands them. I have met some academic pursuits. This month they are planning a chesed cumstances. The religious expectations of the Tzofiah alumni who have returned For information about Tzofiah and its day in his honor, where the campers and of their families and communities often to happy, constructive, and respectable therapeutic program, visit www.tzofiah staff will go around town doing acts of place excessive pressure on them and can lives. These young women can be helped, .org or e-mail [email protected]. O kindness such as cleaning the public create bitterness directed at Judaism. but we must overcome our denial and park, helping shoppers carry their bags Shame and fear of rejection discourage recognize the need,” says Rabbi Dr. Lido Beach Synagogue Summer to the car, and distributing cold bottles them from admitting a problem and seek- Abraham J. Twerski. Movie Schedule of vitamin water. This will not only be ing the help they need. This reality is Tzofiah is a place where young The Lido Beach Synagogue Summer for his z’chus, it will bring his plight into more problematic for girls than for boys, women can transform into their best Movie Series, coordinated by chair- the limelight in Greenville and its envi- as girls face particularly harsh ostracism selves; where they are motivated to cre- woman Sandy Sutain, is scheduled to rons. A letter-writing campaign to the for deviant behavior. ate, develop, think, examine, and grow; begin on Saturday, August 8 at 9:30 p.m. Prime Minister of Israel, Benjamin As a result, their situations often dete- where intelligent, sensitive young The surprise film will be followed by dis- Netanyahu, and to the President of the riorate until the problems become women can explore—often for the first cussion and refreshments. The series will United States, Barack Obama, is also inescapably severe. Those who do seek time—their Jewish heritage on their own continue on Saturday, August 22 at 9:15 scheduled for this month. help often feel that there is no one to terms and take pride in their Jewish iden- p.m. with Blessed Is the Match: The Life Let’s all try to get Gilad out before his turn to. As a result, the number of at-risk tities. Tzofiah gives them the second and Death of Hannah Senesh. This film birthday next week! O adolescents (especially girls) in the chance at a quality of life they were tells the story of a great Jewish-Hungarian orthodox Jewish community is growing denied at home and couldn’t get through heroine of WWII. Both films will be Tzofiah: Saving Lives every year. any other program. shown in the Lido Beach Synagogue ball- Contemporary society has seen an These girls are vulnerable at a critical Tzofiah’s unique therapeutic approach room. A $10 donation is suggested; admis- alarming increase in the number of at- time that determines the quality of the provides them with a safe, family envi- sion is free for sponsors. Call 516-889-9650 risk adolescents from across socioeco- lives they will lead. If they are to succeed ronment in Israel where they can make a for more information. O nomic, cultural, and religious back- as adults, they must develop self-esteem, fresh start. Tzofiah recognizes that each grounds. The Jewish community is no which requires resolving emotional, girl is a unique individual and that the Witnessing Greatness exception. More and more Jewish adoles- familial, educational, and religious issues. best way to achieve success is to recog- By Braha Bender cents engage in anti-social, self-destruc- That’s why Tzofiah is here to help, nize and honor that unique individuality. “The Akko of today is not the same tive behavior. They struggle to cope not addressing the complex emotional needs Its highly trained staff of educators, ther- as the Akko of yesterday. HaGaon Rav only with the particular challenges of of Jewish girls at risk from Orthodox apists, mentors, and creative directors Steinman purified the city, and we adolescence, but also with some of the backgrounds. Indeed Tzofiah has been develop supportive relationships with need to keep it that way,” declared emotionally hurtful phenomena too saving lives for ten years. In an environ- the girls, tending to all their needs with Rabbi Dovid Abuchatzeira, shlita, fol- often found in modern life: divorce, ment where schools and programs have sensitivity and warmth. lowing one of HaRav Aharon Yehuda domestic violence, verbal or physical failed, Tzofiah has stood the test of time. A loving and supportive environment, Leib Steinman, shlita’s, rare talks. child abuse, and sexual trauma. “These girls need a residential facility combined with professional expertise, However, the rosh yeshiva’s talk had not In many adolescents, such events can where they can feel accepted and that encourages open and honest communi- precipitate confusion, anger, and feelings will genuinely care for them and help cation, creativity, exploration of self, Continued on Page 48

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 47 AROUND THE FIVE TOWNS of the rosh yeshiva to spread Torah order to lend them even further impact Camp Nageela Bake Sale, Continued from Page 47 throughout the world despite his com- on the students. August 12-13 promised physical stature, Rav Despite his own venerable stature, Over 200 Jewish children are discover- been presented to the thousands of Grossman told the story of a Rabbi Abuchatzeira insisted on holding ing Yiddishkeit for the first time this sum- learned men hungry to hear the words Vietnamese boy of nine who carried an Rav Steinman’s microphone for him mer. They are in JEP-LI’s Camp Nageela. of one of the foremost Torah leaders injured 13-year-old on his back for an during the entire speech, emphasizing Like thousands of other children, they are and scholars of our generation. HaRav extended length of time. When asked that this is “like the experience at Har having loads of fun, enjoying the country, Steinman had taken time out of his how he had the strength to carry a Sinai.” Commenting to the children taking exciting trips, and making new busy schedule recently to visit a youth weight so much greater than his own, about the tzaddik’s humble behavior, friends. They are also experiencing unbe- cultural center in Akko (Acre) and speak the boy’s simple response was telling. Rav Grossman told them that the right- lievable spiritual growth. They daven to to several hundred 7th- through 12th- “He is my brother,” he said. eous Abuchatzeira family is one of the Hashem and they know He is always lis- grade students currently learning “Rav Steinman undertakes projects great gifts given to our generation. tening and that He cares about every about Judaism through Arachim. Rav that are not appropriate for his The end of the moving presentation detail of their lives. They eagerly look for- Steinman was accompanied by Rabbi advanced age, but for the sake of his on both of the rabbis’ parts left stu- ward to learning Torah daily and almost Abuchatzeira, who sidestepped his brothers, he gathers the strength,” dents very emotional. Many universally attend the optional extra own honor to introduce the rosh yeshi- Rabbi Grossman explained. approached the rabbanim to ask for learning clubs. They’re meeting Torah- va and impress upon the students the Arachim CEO Rabbi Yoseph Wallis berachos as they prepared to leave the true role models and are inspired by the greatness of this special event. continued the introduction by describ- center. Before the rabbanim left the mitzvos that govern every moment of HaGaon HaRav Steinman and ing his own teenage years and how he hall, one of the teenagers requested a existence, and they are overcome with Chacham Rabbi David Abuchatzeira decided to devote his life to spreading moment on the microphone and, the 25-hour weekly experience called had appeared together last year in Torah awareness. besides thanking the rabbanim for Shabbos. Nahariya for an Arachim event that had HaGaon Rav Steinman and Rabbi their beautiful words, he concluded The navi Zecharya promises us that taken place on the Israeli Indepen- Abuchatzeira entered the hall follow- that the students’ greatest thanks to there will be a time when there will be a dence Day vacation. However, while ing introductory speeches by Arachim the rabbanim was for the gift they had famine in the world—not for food or that event had been geared towards rabbis providing the background infor- given the boys by their very presence. water, but to hear divrei Elokim. In Camp further strengthening Arachim alum- mation students needed to appreciate “When they ask you what true Nageela there are 200 Jewish boys and nae, this event was the first time that Rav Steinman’s extraordinary character Jewish heroism looks like, now you’ll girls who are hungry and thirsty for the rabbanim had appeared before and leadership. The students, who had know exactly what to tell them. Torah. As the girl’s half drew to a close last youths so unfamiliar with Torah as to no previous familiarity with Rav Believe me, you’ll be talking about Monday, 16 girls decided they want to be unaware of even who the venerable Steinman, now awaited him with great this day with your grandchildren,” switch to yeshiva for the coming school rosh yeshiva was. Some of the children excitement. Rabbi Grossman told the students in year. If there was a treasure chest from had been attending Arachim’s regular Ascending modestly to the stage, conclusion. which we could pull out $10,000 for every classes organized by Rabbi Yosef Fogel, HaGaon Rav Steinman used simple But for Rabbi Grossman, the event camper who wanted to attend yeshiva, director of Arachim’s northern Israel words to describe the experience of the only truly concluded by coming upon there could be even more who would branches. Witnessing and meeting the Jews at Har Sinai. His message spoke to the manager of the hall sitting and cry- make the switch. Money needs to be lights of our generations was a power- the hearts of the young students: every- ing. Approaching the adult man to ask raised in order to cover the difference ful experience for the children. thing given at Har Sinai belongs equal- what the matter was, the man between what the parents are willing to The event was led by HaRav ly to each of us. As the rosh yeshiva explained to Rabbi Grossman that pay, the scholarships the yeshivas can Nachman Grossman, veteran Arachim spoke, one of the accompanying avre- although he had attended many events give, and the massive cost of yeshiva day speaker and lecturer at Arachim’s Tel ichim simultaneously typed his words in his professional life, never had he school in America. Many counselors Aviv yeshiva. In describing the efforts to be projected on a slide projector in witnessed one so deeply moving. O already pledged generous amounts of

48 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES their personal money, but tens of thou- sand of dollars are needed so each of those 16 girls can attend yeshiva this fall. Some of the counselors, inspired by the campers’ commitment, are deter- mined to make their dream into a reality. They are holding a bake sale next week, Wednesday and Thursday, August 12 and 13, at the home of Moshe and Jeanette Lamm, 634 Oak Drive, in Far Rockaway. The sale will be open from 5:00 to 9:00 p.m. on Wednesday and from 10:00 a.m. to 10:00 p.m. on Thursday. Show these Jewish children how much the frum com- munity cares while enjoying delicious homemade cakes, cookies, challahs, and more! For more information, please con- tact Chana Weissman, 516-220-5685, Gali Weissman, 516-987-5607, or Tali Sasson, 516-652-5383. O

Vaudeville Is Being Revived Every Sunday Night In The Five Towns! The Sunday Night Showcase is a new variety show featuring new and unique acts each and every week. Catch an amaz- ing live show without having to schlep to the city. This is not just comedy. The weekly showcase contains different acts ranging from comedians, magicians, jugglers, hypnotists, ventriloquists, sideshow per- formers, and more. This week, Sunday, August 9, at 7:00 p.m. come and see the amazing Jared Rydelek and the uproari- ous Yisrael Campbell. Jared’s perform- ances are unlike any that you have wit- nessed before. His shows are a strange blend of circus sideshow skills and con- tortion. Yisrael was born “Christopher Campbell,” raised Catholic, and grew up in Philadelphia. He studied theater and became a comedian. He is now an Orthodox Jew and lives in Jerusalem. Yisrael has been seen on TV, Aish.com, and performing for comedy clubs and theaters around the world. His new one man show, “You Can Never Be Too Jewish,” opens Off-Broadway in New York in 2009. For more information or to purchase tickets, visit www.SundayNightShowcase .com or call 718-673-8207. The Sunday Night Showcase takes place every Sunday night at Backstage Night Club, located at 948 Broadway in Woodmere. Tickets cost $15 online, $20 at the door. There is a one drink minimum. Online ticket sales clos- es at noon on the day of the show. Invite your friends for a great night out. They will thank you! O

WHAT’S YOUR OPINION? WE WANT TO KNOW! E-MAIL US AT [email protected] OR UPLOAD YOUR COMMENTS AT www.5tjt.com

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 49 Let Egged USA Take Care Of Your Israeli Guests Are you worried about how to entertain guests coming from Israel? The Egged USA tour com- pany has the solution. They will take your guests to the most beautiful places. Egged USA has vast experience and the tour guides speak Hebrew, so your guests will not have a language problem. For more information, call 732-363-2036. O

For the next issue, deadline for reserving ad space is Monday, August 10 at 5:00 P.M. All graphics for ads must be in by Tuesday, August 11 at 5:00 P.M.

Call 516-984-0079

50 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

and Security website lists the law is void.” ing to Mustafa. Obama To End U.S. initiation of an embargo status The Syrian diplomat noted Mustafa was present last against Syria as commencing in that Israel’s lobby isn’t as strong week for a meeting between December 2003 under the Syria as America’s industrial and Syrian President Bashar Assad Embargo Against Syria Accountability and Lebanese financial companies, which are and U.S. special presidential BY MALKAH sanction against Syria, with Sovereignty Restoration Act of harmed by the anti-Syrian envoy to the Mideast George FLEISHER more suspensions to come, 2003. Congress passed the law embargo. The Boeing Company, Mitchell, in which the parties according to Syrian Arab News “to sanction Syria for its support developers of aircraft technolo- discussed a warming of rela- The United States has alerted Agency (SANA). for terrorism, its occupation of gy, is particularly interested in tions between the countries. Syrian diplomats that America Syria may now participate in Lebanon, its pursuit and devel- nullifying the embargo, accord- (IsraelNN.com) O has decided to lift various the market for civil aviation opment of weapons of mass embargos against Syria, with safety and plane components, destruction and missiles, and its more suspensions of embargos and may purchase communica- failure to support the stabiliza- on the way. tions and information systems tion and reconstruction of Iraq,” Dr. Imad Mustafa, Syria’s equipment and technology, according to the website. ambassador to Washington, such as software, hardware, and Mustafa told Syrian televi- told Syrian television that internet-related equipment. sion that Obama’s administra- President Obama has suspend- The U.S. Department of tion is “working on suspending ed several articles of the U.S. Commerce’s Bureau of Industry articles one at a time until the

If you should say in your heart: These nations are more numerous than I; how can I dispossess them? You shall not be afraid of them (Devarim 7:17-18) When you understand that the nations are more numerous than you, and that you, with your own power, cannot defeat them but are totally dependent on G-d’s help, then you need not fear them. But if you begin to believe that you can defeat them on your own, then you indeed have great cause for fear. (Maasei Hashem)

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 51 Cedarhurst Sidewalk Sale: Day 1

Wednesday was the first day of the long-awaited Cedarhurst Business Improvement District’s Annual Sidewalk Sale, which brought out hundreds of shoppers from in and around the Five Towns. Streets were full and vendors were busy ringing up sales as they slashed prices, bringing smiles all around.

Top photo: Shopping for bargains outside The Crystal Tree.

Middle row: Left—There was no minimum age (or dollar amount) required at this outdoor extravaganza. Right—Irene Steiner and Michael Edery compare metzios they found along The Avenue.

Bottom row: Left—Jerry Cohen, owner of Trees and vice-president of the Cedarhurst BID. Right—Amy Haimm, owner of Sunflower Hats in the Cedarhurst Center. 52 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

At Equity Trading Capital, we teach you to practice on our free simulation program. Step 3. Analyze your mistakes and What Is Day Trading? successes. Know what worked and what didn’t. Equity Trading Academy can teach you professional methods of ana- BY ELI GOLSHAN They don’t hold stocks overnight to market will continue to drop or recover lyzing your daily profits and losses so EQUITY TRADING CAPITAL avoid any losses due to bad news. In and go back up (trade long or short.) you can make effective adjustments to fact, they may hold stocks for only a 2. You don’t need to invest a lot of your trading style. Day trading is basically daily, online few seconds to limit risk. For exam- money to make profits. stock trading with very short investment ple, at 11:00 a.m. a day trader might 3. Awareness of day trading stock picks Importance Of Having A Mentor. horizons. The individuals who do this buy 1,000 shares of stock just as the allows a day trader to gain maximum At Equity Trading Academy, you will every day are traders, not investors in the price begins to rise, then sell it at 11:04 returns from the market by being in the find experienced, senior traders to help traditional sense. Day trading is available a.m. when it’s up by 1/4 point ($0.25). right stocks at the right time. you maximize strong positions and to anyone with an Internet connection They would make $250—minus 4. Positions are closed at the end of the guide you safely past potential obsta- and there has been a recent unprecedent- today’s cheap commission that means each trading day, so any sudden news cles. Our team of mentors will help you ed surge in its popularity. a quick $234! event doesn’t adversely affect your posi- to learn more rapidly whilst making Most never master the art of day To some, day trading is just a numbers tions. fewer mistakes—which in turn means trading because they lack an experi- game and they just watch for moving far fewer losing trades. enced, successful mentor and practical stocks with good spreads. Others use Becoming A Day Trader They’ll also help you develop a trading trading methodology. Typically they go more scientific methods and rely on Step 1. Get educated. Equity Trading strategy that suits your style and person- it alone or attend countless seminars. news and technical analysis to catch Academy offers affordable training ses- ality whilst you fine tune your technique That is not enough to produce excellent price fluctuations. sions that will help you master concepts and determine your trading goals. O results. and skills. Some day traders work shoulder-to- Benefits Of Day Trading Step 2. Start out with practice trades For more information about Equity Trading shoulder in trading rooms, while oth- 1. You can profit when the market is and ensure you are consistently win- Capital training classes please call 347-594-2998 or ers work from their homes or offices. going down, as you can speculate that the ning before you start using real money. visit www.Equitytradingcapital.com.

Thus I fell down before G-d forty days and forty nights… because G-d had said He would destroy you (Devarim 9:25) There was not a corner of the heavens with which Moshe did not grapple to attain G-d’s forgiveness of Israel… When Israel committed that act, Moshe arose to appease G-d and said: “Master of the Universe! They have given You an assistant, and You are annoyed with them? Why, this calf which they have made will be Your assistant: You will cause the sun to rise while it will cause the moon to rise;You will look after the stars and it will see to the constellations; You will cause the dew to descend and it will cause the winds to blow;You will make the rains come down, while it will be responsible for the growth of plants.” Said G-d to him:“Moshe! You err as they do! For there is nothing real in it.” Said Moshe:“If this be the case, why should Your wrath burn against Your people?” (Midrash Rabbah)

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 53 war which included the Kaiser himself, to be tried by the allies, as called for by the treaty. The Road To Munich Over time, more German violations followed. By 1930, Germany stopped paying war reparations as called for by BY LARRY DOMNITCH looked aside. check by its provisions. the agreement. Signed at the Palace of the The Germans always resented the In 1933, Hitler, now chancellor of The Road to the Munich Pact of Versailles, outside Paris, the Versailles agreement. From the time it was rati- Germany showed disregard for the 1938 was paved by a decade of Treaty of June 28, 1919, was intended to fied, it was considered a humiliation. agreement. It should have come as no appeasement. surprise as the Fuhrer had expressed in Neville Chamberlain’s infamous Mein Kampf his disdain for Versailles. debacle of September 1938 of negoti- Hitler had also announced his territori- ating and signing the Munich Pact, al ambitions in Mein Kampf. was one among many that helped The Nazi leader rose to power and precipitate the catastrophe of World The Germans always resented the 1919 he also showed the brutality of which War II. It was the end of a decade he was capable. Just nine months after which saw the rise of Nazism in agreement. From the time it was ratified, becoming chancellor, he established a Germany, fascism in Italy, and aggres- concentration camp in Dachau for sive militarism in Japan. The Munich opponents of the regime. His inten- Pact was an opportunity, following it was considered a humiliation. tions were obvious. many others to stop Hitler. Some- With World War I and its horrors thing Chamberlain and the world in memory, few wanted to confront community were not willing to do. the dictator and risk war. Many Years prior to Hitler’s demands for punish Germany. According to its Germany had infringed upon some of sought refuge in the wishful thinking the Sudetenland and Chamberlain’s terms, Germany was to be held its terms from the start, when it had that Hitler would be reasonable. betrayal of Checkeslovakia, Germany accountable for WWI, and any future refused to surrender those whose Britain was suffering the effects of was beating war drums as the world military ambitions were to be held in actions violated the conventions of the Great Depression and not in a war preparation mode. America, which had joined WWI war late, in 1917, was instrumental in defeating the central powers and then reverted back to its earlier pre-war isolationist policies. But the German people and their chancellor were on a different course. By 1935, the Versailles Treaty was of no value. The treaty stated that Germany should have a limited army with no submarines, military aviation, German General Staff, or army con- scription. The Germans had it all. An air force of 2,500 planes, an army of 300,000 troops with an announcement by Hitler that he was imposing a draft in order to increase the army size to 550,000. In 1936, German troops marched into the Rhineland of Germany to reoccupy a zone specifical- ly prohibited by Versailles. Germany also reclaimed sovereignty and forti- fied the tiny neutral but strategic island of Helgoland, another violation. Yet through it all there was no interna- tional opposition to Hitler. As the Versailles agreement was nullified, Hitler intensified the bru- tal German dictatorship threatening non-Aryans. Among a host of repres- sive measures, the Nuremburg Laws of 1935 censured Jews from German society. The world inattentiveness to Hitler emboldened aggressiveness of other dictators, whom feared no repercus- sions. In 1935 Italy’s fascist leader Benito Mussolini invaded Ethiopia, murdering tens of thousands of civil- ians. The League of Nations declared Italy the aggressor but took no action. In an impassioned appeal before the League of Nations, on June 30, 1936, Haile Salassie, Emperor of Ethiopia stated, “Are states going to set up a terrible precedent of bowing before force?” In Asia, Japan invaded Manchuria in 1931 and then China in 1937 in order to procure raw materials for their war machine. These invasions wreaked havoc and caused horrific civilian casu- alties. Massacres at the hands of the ruthless were taking place with virtual impunity in Asia and Africa. 54 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES In 1938, as Germany’s war machine was in high gear and its generals were preparing future invasions, Hitler claimed to harbor no further territorial ambitions, or desire for war. The world was preoc- cupied in wishful thinking and misguided hopes. He then pressed for the ‘rights’ of eth- nic Germans living in the Sudetenland. Nazi Germany began a propaganda campaign alleging Czech abuses of the Sudetens, as he clamored for their ‘liberation,’ and reunit- ing with their ‘homeland.’ Hitler ranted and world lead- ers sought to prevent the inevitable. When the Munich Pact was signed granting the German army occupation of the Sudetenland, on October 10, 1938, the Czechs who strongly opposed the deal were informed by their western ‘allies’ that they could either resist alone or cooperate. They were sold out in their hour of need. But in fact, Chamberlain and his allies who cosigned the agreement, sold out the free world. Five months later, on March 14, 1939, Slovakia had seceded from Czech and became a pro-Nazi state. The next day, the Czechs with little hope to resist, accepted the German occu- pation of what remained of its country. A week before the German Blitzkrieg into Poland on August 22, 1939, Hitler stated, “Poland is the position I wanted.” The Munich Pact, disas- trous as it was, should not be seen in a vacuum. It was a debacle among many that pro- duced disastrous results dur- ing a decade when evil was given the opportunity to rise and threaten civilization. O

Deadline for Advertising in the Next Issue is Monday, August 10 at 5:00 P.M. Call 516-984-0079

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 55 office that is responsible for outreach Security named to its official advisory simple anti-terror measure—and now he with Muslims around the world.” council the head of an Arab American is at the DHS. Obama His sent his number two woman at the organization whose officials have labeled That’s not all. Obama has, in a stun- White House, Valerie Jarrett, to speak at deadly anti-U.S. jihadists as “heroes” and ning act of sponsoring terror, invited the racist hate-fest staged over the Fourth opposed referring to Hamas as a terrorist the propaganda television station of Unmasked: of July weekend by the Islamic Society of organization. This is a continuing trend, Hamas, Al-Quds TV, to film propaganda North America, an unindicted co-conspir- as indicated by the appointment of Arif here in the United States on the dime of ator in a case involving the funding of the Alikhan as Assistant Secretary of the U.S. taxpayer dollars. 40 Czars Later Hamas terror group. At the ISNA confer- Department of Homeland Security—an Then, Obama honored an enemy of ence, pure hate speech and Islamic anti- appointment that is troubling in many Israel. According to journalist Richard Semitism were promoted, and the ways. Baehr, Obama announced that he was BY PAMELA GELLER Obama administration was there. “Congratulations to Mr. Alikhan on “presenting the Medal of Freedom to Imam Warith Deen Umar spoke about this well-deserved appointment,” said Mary Robinson. So who is Mary The Obama administration has created his books, Jews for Salaam: The Straight Hussam Ayloush, executive director of Robinson? An enemy of Israel to begin, and appointed upwards of 40 “czars.” But Path to Global Peace, and Judaiology. the Los Angeles office of another unin- and the host and mastermind of the first there is one appointment he has not Umar, the former head of New York pris- dicted co-conspirator in the same Hamas Durban conference”—the conference made—an omission that speaks volumes. ons’ Muslim chaplain program, repeated- funding case, the Council on American- that made Islamic anti-Semitism official Barack Obama has instructed the State ly described Jewish conspiracies to con- Islamic Relations. “Mr. Alikhan’s new United Nations policy. Department to create a new appoint- trol the world: “Why do this small num- position reflects his and the community’s Obama has instituted the “U.S. Muslim ment, U.S. Special Representative for ber of people,” he asked, “have control of dedication to helping preserve the securi- engagement”—a blueprint for appease- Muslim (Ummah) Outreach, who reports the world? …There’s some people in the ty of our country. The American Muslim ment that amounts, in the final analysis, directly to the Secretary of State. This was world says no Holocaust even happened. community can be proud of him.” to the advancement of our dhimmitude at the urging of the head of the Some of their leaders say no Holocaust One chief reason for their pride may in America. Organization of the Islamic Conference, even happened. Well it did happen. These be Alikhan’s instrumental role in pressur- But there is one appointment Obama Ekmeleddin Ihsanoglu, who, while at the people were punished. They were pun- ing the Los Angeles Police Department to has failed to make. The Jerusalem Post White House, “urged the U.S. to quickly ished for a reason, because they were seri- scrap a plan simply to count area reported: “The Obama administration appoint an envoy to the Islamic bloc”— ally disobedient to Allah.” mosques and determine the nature of has failed to name an envoy for moni- which prompted BHO to create the “new Obama’s Department of Homeland their membership. Alikhan opposed this toring and combating anti-Semitism around the world, as mandated by U.S. law, since the previous ambassador was relieved of his duties at the start of the president’s term more than six months ago, officials said Thursday.” Rafael Medoff, director of the Washington DC-based David S. Wyman Institute for Holocaust Studies, explained: “Foot-dragging on the selec- tion sends a message that anti- Semitism is not of great importance to the United States.” Obama sat in Reverend Wright’s pew for 20 years. Twenty years—and he disingenuously claims that he didn’t hear that anti-Semitic hate preacher over the state of the art sound system in that church? He heard every word. And from the looks of his policies since he has become president, he agreed with what he heard. Heartily. Bishop E. W. Jackson, Sr., of Exodus Faith Ministries, sounds the alarm: “Those who are paying attention and thinking about these issues do not find it unreasonable to consider that President Obama is influenced by a strain of anti-Semitism picked up from the Black community, his leftist friends and colleagues, his Muslim associations, and his long period of mentorship under Jeremiah Wright. If this conclusion is accurate, Israel has some dark days ahead. For the first time in her history, she may find the president of the United States siding with her enemies. Those who believe as I do that Israel must be protected had better be ready for the fight. We are. Never again!” I would not be surprised if, when Obama finally names an anti-Semitism envoy, he takes the opportunity to appoint an Islamophobia czar. (Arutz Sheva) O

You can now upload your display ad directly via our website at www.5tjt/com/ad

56 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES

threat of annihilation. Iran wants to drive from the series of disasters that befell the of Israel is unlike the attachment of any The Land Of Israel: Israel into making suicidal concessions. Jewish People over 2,000 years: persecu- other people to their homeland. The Secondly, there is a disconnect of the tions, expulsions, pogroms, blood libels, relationship is unique. Is There An Alternative? Jewish commitment to the Land of Israel murders—which reached its climax in Modern Zionist resettlement in the that Chabon and Rovner imply. The Land the Holocaust, an unprecedented tragedy Land of Israel began before Hitler was BY MOSHE PHILLIPS of Israel is called the “Promised Land” for in the history of nations. There are those born. Tel Aviv was established in 1909. a reason. It was not promised to the who say that without the Holocaust the The desire of Jews to return to the Jewish Mahmoud Ahmadinejad wants to Muslims. The Holy Land was deeded to State would not have been established, homeland never left the Jewish People wipe the state of Israel off the face of the the Jewish People in the Holy Bible. Does but I say that if the State of Israel had throughout our exile, and Jews through- planet. Sadly and strangely, two any people anywhere in the world have a been established in time, the Holocaust out history lived in Jewish communities American-born Jewish writers seem con- clearer deed than that? There was never an would not have taken place. The in Jerusalem, Hebron, Tsfat, and else- tent to go along with the idea. One of the independent Muslim nation in the Land tragedies that arose from the Jewish where for hundreds of years before writers explains: “Sometimes I think it of Israel in all of history. Moreover, how People’s helplessness show very sharply Zionism was reinitiated. Jews from Iran, might have been better had Herzl would the U.S., Israel, or the West benefit that we need a protective state. The right Iraq, Egypt, Yemen, Afghanistan, Libya, dreamed of a Jewish state in a place less from the creation of yet another hostile to establish our sovereign state here, in Morocco, and elsewhere in the Islamic embattled than the Middle East.” The Muslim state—wherever it would be? the Land of Israel, arises from one simple world did not return to Israel because of defeatism from these writers—and far Lastly, for President Obama as well as fact: the Land of Israel is the birthplace of European anti-Semitism. Jews from too many others—is blatant. Chabon and Rovner, there is a misunder- the Jewish People.” throughout the world made their way to Pulitzer prize–winning author Michael standing of Zionist history as it stands Netanyahu, tragically, missed the Israel for the same reason as did Jews in Chabon was the first Jewish writer to apart from the Holocaust. Zionism was essential point, just as he does far too the times of Moses and Joshua—it is the recently examine the modern history of not born of a wish to escape Nazi perse- often. Yes, the Land of Israel is the birth- Divinely established homeland for Jews. plans to establish sovereign and semi-sov- cution or any other modern forms of place of the Jewish People—but that is There is no other. O ereign Jewish territories outside of the anti-Semitism. not all. G-d decided that the Jewish Land of Israel. Chabon’s 2007 novel The Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu, People be given the Land of Israel as Moshe Phillips is a member of the Executive Yiddish Policemen’s Union is set in an in his June 14 foreign-policy speech at Bar their only homeland for all time; it was Committee of the Philadelphia Chapter of imaginary Jewish settlement in Alaska. In Ilan University, summarized it as follows: not a decision the Jewish People the Americans for a Safe Israel (AFSI). The chap- ter’s website is at www.phillyafsi.com and Chabon’s alternate universe, Israel was “The right of the Jewish People to a Jewish People made of their own voli- Moshe’s blog can be found at destroyed in the 1948 war and a proposal state in the Land of Israel does not arise tion. The Jewish connection to the Land http://phillyafsi.blogtownhall.com. by Harold L. Ickes, President Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s Secretary of the Interior, to develop parts of Alaska as a “haven for Jewish refugees from Germany and other areas in Europe where the Jews are subjected to oppressive restrictions” had been implemented. Now, Hollywood filmmaking mavens Joel Coen and Ethan Coen are reportedly planning to make The Yiddish Policemen’s Union into a movie. So, tragically, these long-forgotten ideas will be romanticized for still larger audiences throughout the world. Adam Rovner is writing a nonfiction book that examines the proposals to cre- ate a Jewish refuge on the island of Madagascar off the coast of Africa and “various [other] proposals to establish Jewish ‘homelands’ around the globe.” In an article in the May/June 2009 issue of Moment magazine titled “Madagascar: An Almost Jewish Homeland” Rovner writes, “Early Zionists debated a host of proposals to settle Jews in remote regions of the world, and one of them was Madagascar. I’m an American-born, natu- ralized Israeli citizen and sometimes I think it might have been better had Herzl dreamed of a Jewish state in a place less embattled than the Middle East. That’s why I am so curious about this would-be promised land that, at least until a recent military coup, was a relatively pacific republic in the Indian Ocean.” As if the dream of a Jewish state origi- nated with Herzl. Hatikvah, the anthem of modern Zionism, was written in 1878, 18 years before Herzl published The Jewish State. The dream began in Biblical times with Abraham, and survived Babylonians, Greeks, Romans, Arabs, Mamelukes, and Ottomans. There are three key points to consider when looking at this nonsense from Chabon and Rovner: First, at the core of Ahmadinejad’s rhet- oric is a strategy of breaking down Israel’s will to survive. Chabon and Rovner play right into his hands. If Ahmadinejad real- ly wanted to nuke Israel, G-d forbid, why would he declare it? What would be his advantage to warn Israel of his plans? Ahmadinejad wants to destroy Israel’s key security asset: its morale. He wants to force Jews to reconsider the value of a national Jewish homeland versus the 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 57 modern state surrounded by enemies. It only one insurance policy that catalyzed was a different era, a different state of this man into a diamond. A gem unbreak- A Whisper Of Love being. Nothing was taken for granted and able, impenetrable, shining light and wis- every new day was a miracle of existence. dom upon his surroundings. Life was harsh, difficult, the winters cold, Formed from material by which BY ARI BUSSEL Let us remember this awful past. A and the summers hot and humid. heroes were crafted, he was later to seven-year-old boy had to lock his three- Livelihood was not plentiful and the per- become an officer in the Israel Defense A new boy was born last week to Israeli year-old sister in the room for the day, ils were many, but the country was theirs Forces. From there rose the motto of a parents. Mother and son are doing well. day after day, while he hung out with a and the promise was embodied in every- leader, “Follow me!”—a person who leads The sister awaits the new “gift” to arrive; she gang of other young law-breaker children. thing they did. and does not bid a difficult job to others, is expecting to dress and bathe it. A young They collected cigarette butts and stole It was a never-forgotten promise, whis- or hide behind women and children as brother, a son, a grandson has arrived to the leftovers to get food for him and his sis- pered along generations, a promise of the do Israel’s enemies. world, not knowing the maelstrom that ter, and to obtain some milk for his moth- Almighty to His people, a Grand Deed This is the generation that built Israel, will soon threaten to take us over. er, hospitalized with an incurable disease signed in heaven, irrevocable, forever last- fought its wars, raised families, and saw The new baby boy will be cherished by with no chance of recovery. ing. It was G-d’s promise to protect His chil- the children of its children. This is the his parents, uncle, grandmother on one Can a seven-year-old have enough dren. Surrounded by never-ending love, the generation that now is slowly starting to side, and grandparents on the other side. disappear, leaving with hesitation, since Each will savor the look, the cries, the utter the job is not done and the perils stronger dependence, each movement, each new than before. This is a generation that year discovery, and mostly the embodiment of after year spent a month and more on the family’s DNA and the promise of conti- They collected cigarette butts reserve duty, and when it reached the age nuity. Each proud relative will undoubted- of dismissal continued to volunteer. This ly give his or her life to protect the new is the generation to whom we owe every- baby boy—and yet, none of us has been in and stole leftovers to get food thing we now take so easily for granted. such situations in recent memory. These hard fought battles for our very There are those among us that some existence brought about our comforts, seven decades ago were placed in situa- for him and his sister. our education—an asset that can never tions that the mind cannot fathom, that be taken from us—and our future. They reason will rebuke, and that President are our eternal debt to them. Ahmadinejad of Iran thus claims are an As a new Israeli son arrives on the eighth utter impossibility. Indeed, who can maturity and courage to handle what life children of Israel, at least in the story, were day of the Hebrew month of Av, in the sum- imagine keeping a stale piece of bread brings at such an early age? I doubt many covered with a blanket of warmth: those mer ending the first decade of the second and not giving it to your dying sister, just adults several times his age would do who bless you, O Israel, will be blessed…. millennium, he is surrounded by never- so that you might have a reserve for your- what innocence of childhood, and under- The seven-year-old boy continued to ending love. May he never face the obsta- self if the situation gets even worse? Who standing reserved only for children well build. The wisdom of horrors no other cles and unfathomable horrors of only can imagine a situation in which a moth- beyond their years, enabled in him, generation had seen, the maturity of a seven decades ago. May he have no painful er to a newborn will be in a train car with bestowing a resolve not otherwise seen. child deprived of childhood under the stories buried inside and never repeated by her child and husband, with more people That young boy’s mother recovered, immense burden of life’s demands, creat- virtue of the enormity of the horror they than the cattle it is meant to haul, and the sister survived, and they escaped from ed a new breed nothing could stop. It was possess. May he grow to see children to his there is not a drop of liquid to feed the Europe never to return. They arrived in the realization that there is no other children and always live in peace in the screaming newborn? Israel as the country was born anew, a choice, there is only one country and land of his forefathers. (Arutz Sheva) O

58 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 59 60 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES And thus, in my opinion, the main les- son to be drawn from the expulsion is Routine, Expulsion, Eretz Yisrael that Eretz Israel is a supreme value for which we leave behind our everyday lives BY NADIA MATAR with their families who wanted to move obligation to leave our everyday lives and and go forth to a real struggle, and not to the Gush, live in the settlements and participate in the struggle for Eretz Israel. only to symbolic protest demonstrations. Four years after the destruction of be partners in the struggle had to pass an Here is the place to raise an additional It is ironic that it is the peoples of the Gush Katif and northern Samaria, what acceptance committee, even a few weeks subject, one that is no less painful. In my world who teach us of the importance are the lessons? What must we learn before the expulsion. Many were not humble opinion, we lost the struggle for and centrality of Eretz Israel. The peoples from the expulsion, so that in another accepted and they had no choice but to Gush Katif and northern Samaria because of the world don’t care if we all study four years we will not have to write, leave the Gush. we did not relate to Eretz Israel as a Torah, eat kosher, or observe Shabbat. But Heaven forbid, of the lessons to be Our family, too, was not accepted in supreme value for which self-sacrifice is if five Jews climb some hill in the area of learned from the expulsion from Judea N’vei Dekalim. Apparently because we needed. If there had been some prepos- Judea and Samaria and dare to build a hut and Samaria? were identified with the “activist” wing. terous government decree that IDF sol- on it, then the United Nations, the In my humble opinion, we must, first And so, our family and additional Women diers must enter the homes of Jews on European Union, the Obama administra- of all, internalize the fact that we do not in Green members stayed in Kfar Yam Yom Kippur and forcibly feed them non- tion, and who knows who else go out of have the luxury of immersing ourselves with the family of Arik and Datia Yitzhaki, kosher food, I assume and hope that a their minds and try to prevent it. in routine life. Rather, each of us must who received us with open arms. wall-to-wall consensus would take shape Undoubtedly, in light of the brazen- take part in the struggle. I will never for- It is difficult for me to commit those among our public on the need to refuse ness of the Obama administration and get that meeting in N’vei Dekalim, about memories to writing. Our brothers from to obey this anti-Jewish and anti-moral the Europeans, who are returning us to a year before the expulsion, organized by Gush Katif suffer enough, and I don’t order. The victims of the “forced-feeding” the time of the White Paper, more and the more hard-line activists of the Gush, intend to hurt them by raising these mat- would not begin a “With Love We Will Be more elements within the people of in which a proposal was already raised to ters, but I feel obligated to speak about Victorious” campaign; rather, they, too, Israel are coming to their senses. With double or even triple the number of Gush the subject as lessons learned for the would vigorously resist. G-d’s help, the tremendous forces inher- inhabitants by bringing new residents struggle over Judea and Samaria. I do not And I ask: Why is that which is so clear ent in our people will be realized and this into the houses, or even in tents in the mean to say that we should erect tents in regarding Shabbat and kashrut obser- time we will succeed in defending Eretz yards. our yards now, but today, in light of the vance not clear regarding Eretz Israel? Israel, and increase building, settlement, One woman stood up and angrily bitter experience undergone by our This is the million-dollar question I and development. (Arutz Sheva) O declared: “I don’t agree! I refuse to ruin brothers from the Gush, we must under- have been asking myself for the past four my lawn, and I won’t agree to turn my set- stand that “routine” and “expulsion” are years since the expulsion. tlement into a refugee camp! I want to connected to each other. In Hebrew, rou- If Eretz Israel is a supreme value, like continue with my everyday life!” tine is shigra and expulsion is gerush— Shabbat and kashrut, then the way to Deadline for Advertising One of the speakers turned to her and words with similar root letters. struggle against the decrees of the wondered: “Don’t you think that it’s Already now, when there is just talk of destruction of settlements and the hand- in the Next Issue is worth it to somewhat undermine routine the destruction of the outposts—which ing over of parts of the homeland to the life for a few months, in order to preserve everyone knows is the first stage of the enemy entails self-sacrifice. We can trans- Tuesday, August 11 the routine in the long term?” destruction of the settlement enterprise late this self-sacrifice into refusing orders at 5:00 P.M. The proposal, however, was rejected as a whole, with the goal of establishing a and mass nonviolent civil disobedience. I and the leaders of the Gush preferred to Palestinian state in its stead—we must am certain that if these two methods of Call 516-984-0079 continue everyday life, taken to an make the mental switch and internalize struggle had been implemented in 2005, extreme. Supporters from the outside that each of us has the responsibility and we would have saved the Gush.

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 61 The Remarkable Journey From Intermarriage To A Torah-True Home

BY ROCHEL WEINSTEIN ily dynamics of Jewish intermarriage, determined. to become involved with the Reform Linda was startled to discover that many She contacted a rabbi to map out the congregation that had facilitated her Sitting in a church as a young girl, children raised with two religions even- process of conversion. He inquired conversion. Guitars and female can- Linda felt distant to the environment and tually keep neither, since the choice of a whether clergy from another religion tors, however, left the new couple rituals. The other congregants had come religion is often equated with the choice would be involved in their wedding cere- uninspired. Instead, she felt drawn to to express faith in their religion; she was of a parent. Based on her research, there mony. Without any exposure to the true learn more about the people walking there to please her grandmother. Young was no question that she would want to nature of Jewish conversion and all the home from shul in the Orthodox part Linda grew up without much spiritual raise their children with one consistent halachic requirements that must be met, of town. But how? satisfaction, yet deep within was an religion—Judaism. Now all she had to do Linda intuitively knew that something When the first of her two children was inherent belief in the existence of G-d. was convince not only her future hus- was amiss. born, providence led Linda to a “Mommy Linda never imagined that one day it and Me” playgroup at the local JCC. There would manifest itself within every corner she met a diverse population of Jewish of her life. mothers, including those from the It all started with her Jewish fiancé, Orthodox community who invited her David. Based on similar interests in classi- While this detail shocked Linda, and David to discover the beauty of cal music, a mutual friend introduced Shabbos and the true meaning of them and the professional orchestra play- it simultaneously planted within her the hachnasas orchim. ers formed an immediate bond. Religious The couple eventually purchased a barriers were non-existent: Linda consid- house within the eruv, making it easier ered herself on a spiritual quest that had desire to learn all she could about the for them to walk to shul and visit their nothing to do with her religion of origin; friends on Shabbos. As Linda immersed David’s intrinsic disinterest in Judaism mysterious religion of her future husband. herself in the Torah way of life, she came meant that they would date for months to a realization that rocked her world: before Linda would casually discover that The procedures of the conversion had he was Jewish. While this detail shocked not been enough to make her, or her Linda, it simultaneously planted within band but also her Lutheran family that Moving Through young toddler, Jewish. her the desire to learn all she could about this was, indeed, the right thing to do. The Rhythms Of Life Linda had not come this far to give the mysterious religion of her future hus- At first, David was ambivalent about Linda and David eventually mar- up on her spiritual quest. It had always band. Linda’s decision; agreeing to it would ried, joining together not only a fan- been an uphill battle. In her youth, she A visit to the library was the first step. guarantee alienation from his vehement- tastic classical CD collection, but also faced the emotional challenge of her But the only information available lacked ly anti-Orthodox family. Her own family the similar goal of building a Jewish parents’ tumultuous divorce. And when, the meaningful spiritual dimension she was devastated that she wanted to leave home. David’s commitment was just as an adult, she was in the midst of con- desperately sought. Intrigued by the fam- their religion all together. But Linda was budding, so Linda was eager for them structing a meaningful Jewish life, rela-

62 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES tives and in-laws disowned the couple. desire to become a Jew. Ten years after dedication to mitzvah observance needed verify his motivation and commitment. It (Although suffering emotionally from the Reform conversion, she underwent to be strengthened. Leah knew that there provided standard halachic guidelines in their parents’ disapproval, Linda says her second and final conversion. Linda was little she could do to influence her learning and the resources needed to that the most difficult thing about her became Leah. The road had been long, husband. She had always been advised to accomplish them. conversion was seeking out new “fami- but now she had what she had always guide him without pressure. But now she When the family was finally united, ly” to sort of “replace” those family dreamed of: unquestionable Jewish sta- utilized the one thing in her power that they continued their spiritual growth, members who rejected their desire to tus within any community. Leah could could directly invoke change: She prayed. which was nurtured and closely moni- live a Torah life.) David was challenged not wait until her children had the same To Leah’s surprise, David’s commit- tored through EJF. At the local with relating to his family as his wife precious gift. ment began to grow. Soon he rearranged Orthodox day school, the children blos- attempted to pull them into new spiri- But there was another bend in the his work schedule to accommodate his somed. EJF was crucial in the family’s tual realms. At times, the pressure of road: the bais din determined that the commitment to keep Shabbos as a sacred integration into their Jewish communi- standing up to their parents was too children could not be converted since day and opened himself to learn more ty. Leah and David claim that, if they much for them to handle. David’s commitment was lacking. Soon about his precious heritage. hadn’t had EJF to navigate the process, Interestingly, David’s own family was a after, the bais din dismantled altogether, it may have been months or even years major player in Linda’s steadfast motiva- leaving Leah to search for help elsewhere. Reaching For Spiritual Harmony before they would have accomplished tion. In the early 1900s, his great grandfa- With renewed determination, she set out When David’s company informed him their goal. Finally, in March of 2009, the ther had left Lithuania to serve as the to accomplish yet another goal in her of a position on the East Coast, Rabbi children’s conversion was complete. It rabbi of a Midwestern town. Although family’s spiritual existence. Jacobs advised the couple to take it. He was especially meaningful that another the local school board resisted his efforts, A friend of Leah’s, who also had to informed them that there was an 28 years would not have to go by for he went on to establish a Talmud Torah. search for a different solution in order to Orthodox community nearby, and living them to fulfill the mitzvah of birkas Still, the environment was not conducive complete her own conversion, directed there would facilitate the process of their hachama as a family. to the spiritual survival of his family; out Leah to Eternal Jewish Family children’s conversions. The couple saw At the ceremony, Leah and David of his nine children, no descendants International, an organization which this opportunity as a direct sign that accepted upon themselves the awesome remained connected to authentic Torah assists intermarried couples who are sin- Hashem was clearing the way to their responsibility of raising their children as Judaism—except Linda and David. cerely dedicated to building Jewish goal. Torah Jews and proud members of Klal Linda’s best efforts were not enough to homes. Leah sought the approval from David took the position and left Yisroel. They were told to make Judaism make her Jewish, but she had not come her rabbi who had no doubt that EJF alone to set up their new life. Leah enjoyable in their home and to remem- this far to give up on making it happen. could accomplish what she could not do stayed behind with the kids to pack ber that any spiritual investment into This time, Linda wanted a curriculum on her own. up the house. This separation would their children will be passed on to their that ensured the certainty of a complete- That such a support system existed be a blessing in disguise. On his own, descendants. ly acceptable conversion in all spectrums was a dream come true. The couple without his wife’s influence or his After years of study and so much frus- of Judaism. She approached the shul’s contacted Rabbi Dovid Jacobs, EJF’s parents around to discourage his tration, EJF helped Leah and David assistant rabbi and bonded with his wife, executive director, whose understand- growth, David was finally able to nur- cement the family as one. It removed who eventually served as her teacher and ing and foresight was pivotal in guid- ture his own spiritual commitment. any doubt regarding whether they mentor. The shul’s chazzan and his wife ing the family. He arranged a meeting With the help of a kiruv rabbi, he would be considered as full-fledged also warmly welcomed the family. with various rabbanim from Daas immersed himself in adult Jewish Jews by any rabbinic authority. It gave Mishpat, a bais din in Monsey, New studies, carving time from his sched- the couple the most precious gift: a unit- How To Orchestrate York, in order to determine the specif- ule to learn each day. ed Jewish family. O A Kosher Conversion ic halachic standards that would have From the beginning, EJF remained in Rochel Weinstein is the Director of The regional bais din was contacted to be met. constant contact with David’s rabbi, mon- Communications for Eternal Jewish Family and Linda proved to them her sincere EJF confirmed that David’s personal itoring his learning schedule in order to International.

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 63 64 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Your Ad Could Be Here.

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 65 SERVICES SERVICES PROVIDED PROVIDED

Photography - Small Event Specialist G'Mach Chasdei Yisroel — Lending Bar/Bat Mitzva - Bris - Yeshiva/Shul money to people in Klei Kodesh & for Functions - Family Portraits Klei Kodesh purposes. In the Far Reasonable prices - Quality Work - Fast Rockaway-Five Towns area. Please call 917-822-9910 for more info. Or email Turnaround. [email protected]. In Memory of Call Eli - 516-319-7709 R' Yisroel Ben Binyamin, a"h. Shomer Shabbos. Cheapest Rates ever Limudei Kodesh tutor available. Works from Ben Gurion to Jerusalem day or well with special ed children. night 180 Shekel four passengers + four Call 212-203-3794 suitcases included. Call 050-6341-234 Speak to Shaul.

The Computer Place HELP WANTED Computer Consultants, Technical Support, Network, Internet Solutions. Call 866-583-2443 Shevach High School seeks a Living Menadvim— Furniture and Appliances. Environment teacher for September ’09. Master’s Degree preferred. Like new to Donate and Receive. Call Fax resume to: 718-263-3759. or e-mail 718-MEN-ADVIm (718-636-2384) We to [email protected]. deliver.

1000 ENVELOPES = $10,000 guaran- New Table and Chair Gemach for teed! Receive $10 for every envelope short-term simchas. 740 Mador Ct., Far stuffed with our sales material. Free 24 Rockaway. Call 718-471-0368 hour recorded information. 1-800-491-9377. Nehora Tours Travel. Not a gimmick. Best rates ever, best service JFK Mindscape Trading, LLC is recruiting NY/Newark NJ to Ben Gurion all credit experienced traders with proven track cards accepted best deal all airlines. records, for their office located in [email protected] Hewlett, NY. Members benefit from a technologically advanced trading envi- “Used or Abused” Before you buy a used ronment with payouts and cost struc- car, come in for a free frame (structural) tures that surpass other firms. check. Precision Auto Body 691 Burnside Mindscape welcomes experienced Ave, Lawrence. 516-371-1137. Friends traders of all backgrounds and trading don’t let friends drive junk! strategies. 516-792-3690

Aviv Painting, sheetrock and plaster. 5 Towns boys yeshiva is looking for Interior and exterior. Handyman servic- licensed 8th grade language arts es. Finish and plaster. Any sized job! teacher. Mon-Thurs, 2:15-3:45. Shomer Shabbos. Call 347-729-8688 Please fax resume 516-374-9376

HK Ilanas Agency — Provide you with screened, Experienced Nanny, BUSINESS Housekeepers, Aids, Companion to the OPPORTUNITY Elderly. 21 years in the Industry. Licensed and bonded. 718-575-1700, 212-967-5797 Colorado — Established glatt kosher grocery deli, restaurant, banquet facili- Study with Steve. One-on-one tutoring. ty includes 20,000 sq. ft. building. SAT Math prep, regents, high school $3.5Mil gross sales, $435K+ owner net. and elementary math, high school Retirement physics. Call 516-371-5522 Mark Doran ChoiceBizOps.com 303-758-4200 Relax your body and calm your soul. Body work, facial treatment by Mary Luz at Quorum. Call 516-374-1144 REAL ESTATE

Coming to Israel for Rosh FOR SALE Hashana/Succos? Or would you like to help out your married children who are making Yom Tov in Israel? Offering a Lawrence: OURS ONLY!! variety of Heimish home-cooked catered BRICK, C/H COL, Stately BRICK, w/old dishes. Full Menu filled with Delicious world charm, Hi ceilings, 6Br, 4.5 Gourmet Food. Excellent Prices, BTHS, Kosher Eik, Lg. FDR, Library, Delivery Available, References avail- Fin. Bsmt., Lg Prop., WALK ALL. able upon request. Contact Tehila to ...... $995K have the menu e-mailed or faxed 845- 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 364-7164 Best location, most prestigious block in Boro Park Ladies’ Hat Gemach and Far Rockaway! By owner. Elegant, Girls’ Coat Gemach now accepting spacious 4 BR, 3 bth home, LR with cathedral ceiling, separate DR, large these items in excellent condition. Drop EIK, huge family room with gorgeous off available in Woodmere. To donate stone fireplace, sub-basement, 2-car call 718-972-3211 garage, beautifully landscaped grounds with ig sprinkler system. 410-358-0566, Simchas Naava 410-358-4464 Share your simcha flowers! Be m’sameach other simchas! Donate your 5 Town Homes 516-569-5712 fresh flower arrangements! We will Cedarhurst: NU 2 Mkt. Lg LR, DR, match your simcha date with EIK, Den, 5BR, 3bth, Skilits, Cabana, simchas following yours or deliver them Lg prop, IGPool, Walk to all $659K to nursing home residents. To donate or obtain flower Far Rockaway: Coop, 3Br, 1Bth arrangements call 516-239-6066 Lr/Dr, Walk to All ...... $179K In memory of a special friend, Naava Wassner Katlowitz Call 516-322-3555 66 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES REAL ESTATE REAL ESTATE REAL ESTATE FOR SALE FOR SALE FOR SALE FOR RENT

Cedarhurst: 1st. Show Woodmere/Cedarhurst Oppty! Woodmere Cedarhurst — Nu House CH Col. LR, 1st. FLR, FDR, 2BR. 2BTHS Terrace. 12,000 sq. ft. approx. 90’x150’, Colonial, Open House, Sunday 8/9. 11-12:30, 1030 FDR, Kosher EIK, Den, 4BR, 3BTHS. Views of Gdns, W/D 17 rooms, full bsmt. with hi ceilings, Fordham Lane. 1st show, 4BR, 3bths Bsmt. For Rent ...... $2,500 Lo maint, Grt. loca’n, Walk all . $319K clean 2 car garage plus storage, 6 space large rooms, prime location. Meet Pat 5Town Homes ** 516-569-5710 ...... $599K 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 parking, 2 family, professional use, Sue Schachter Realty 516-295-1860 accountant, Esq., medical and/or educa- Far Rockaway: 2 Fam. All NU Far Rockaway — 2 Huge Office Spaces. tional and religious uses. Grand colonial 3 over 3 Br. 4Fbth, Dr, Full bsmt West Lawrence/Far Rockaway - Condo 6,000 and 2,500 Sq Ft. 2nd Floor. Near with charm and great possibilities. All features ...... $779K New Construction Open House Sunday Subway & LIRR. Build to Suit. Can be Available at once . . . $875K Negotiable Call 516-263-6417 Owner 516-322-3555 11-1 P.M. or by appt divided. Owner 917-359-9776 Steps to beach Lawrence — NU 2 Mkt. Col., Brk., Vacation Village — Lakeview detached 146 B. 9th St. for rent 1 and 2 bdrm North Wdm. — house rental. Hi-ranch Large property, near ALL, 5Br, 3.5Bth, 1 family ranch w/ 3 BR, 2 bths, C/A, apts starting at ...... $1,300 in MIC. 4 br, CAC, den, on quiet street. Den, full bsmt ...... $1.9M huge porch, tennis ct, restaurant, 156 B. 9th St. for sale or rent, 2/3 bdrm 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 Call 516-322-3555 indoor/ outdoor pool. Steal $149,990. Call choice waterfront apts available 917-407-4169 Cedarhurst — Nu House Far Rockaway: 2 Family. All NU, also Commercial space with private CH Col. LR, FDR, Kosher EIK, Den, 3 over 1 Bdrm, 3 full baths. Great Far Rockaway — New to Market. Brick entrance Location ...... $599K 4BR, 3bths, Bsmt. Call 516-322-3555 side hall colonial, prime location, 4BR, 1256 B 12th St. for rent 3 bdrm 2 bth For Rent ...... $3,300 full finished basement, wrap around new townhouses 5Town Homes ** 516-569-5710 Far Rockaway — Great location. porch, deck, pretty property, $699K neg. 332B 13Th St. 2 brdrm home, full base- Detchd MIC. Open California style Lawrence — New to market. Large ment lg prop ...... $275K house on deep property. 5BR, 4 bths, Neilson Street — Brand new construc- home. High ceils. Skylight. 4 BRs up, 3 227 Beach 3rd St. 11-12:30 NU! 5 bdrm high ceilings, LR, DR, office/ den, hard- tion. 3/ 4 bedrooms, 2 full baths central fl bths, study/BR plus BR in basement, townhouse ...... $655K wood floors throughout, prime location, air, laundry hook up, parking. No granite kit., LR open onto split-level Lawrence - Co-ops Condos By Appt. low taxes, close to all ...... $789K Rental Fee. Call Avromy, 347-752-0948 376 Central Ave. 1 bdrm 1.5 bths apt deck, large tree-lined yd ...... $935K Weissman Realty Group 516-791-6100 Lo taxes. No brokers. 917-488-7711 ...... $399K Far Rockaway — Large One Bedroom Pugatch Realty Open Houses 8/9/2009 250 Central Ave. Jr 4 ...... $139K Apartment for rent. Beautiful elevator Lawrence — The Carlyle — Bright Hewlett 284 Central Ave. 2 bdrm 2 bth . . $219K bldg. Nice tenancy. Great location at sunny corner apt, 1 BR, 1.5 bth, 24-hour 129 Harris Ave, 3-4:30 ...... $395K 261 Central Ave. 2 bdrm 1st flr . $179K Neilson and Cornaga, near Shor Yoshuv, doorman, W/D, terrace, brand new car- Lawrence 1 Rosalind Pl. 3 bdrm 3 bth . . . . $349K transportation, and shopping. pets and floors, low taxes, parking 250 Central Ave, A202 11-12:30 . . $275K 360 Central Ave. 1 bdrm 1.5 bth reno- Asking $1,100. Call 718-692-2525 ext. 180 included ...... $479K North Woodmere vated ...... $469K 516-374-7006 263 Hungry Harbor Rd, 12-1:30 . . $699K 2 Herrick Dr. renovated 2 bdrm 2 bth 822 Glenridge Ave, 12-1:30 . . . . . $749K Far Rockaway — Lg. Hse Rental: 4br, elevator bldg ...... $369K Woodmere 2bth, bsmt., hi-ceilings, NU bths, W\D. Milky Forst Properties Inc 1077 Highland Place, 3-4:30 . . . . $699K Call 516-322-3555 Your Real Estate, 950 Midway Dr, 4-5:30 ...... $799K 516-239-0306 711 Arbuckle Ave, 11-12:30 . . . . . $659K Office sublet. 750 square feet. medical Service, or 823 Jefferson St, 11:30-1 ...... $469K COMMERCIAL REAL or commercial. 290 Central Ave, in www.pugatch.com 516-295-3000, 833-6004 Lawrence. Dr. Feivusch 516-375-8894 Help Wanted Ad ESTATE FOR SALE Hewlett — Col. MIC, 4br, 2bth, 2fpl, full Rockville Centre — 3,500 sq ft, fully Here deck, wood flr, Lg. den. Walk to all. wired for Web, partitioned, will divide...... $729K 2 six-family apt. buildings, in the heart Call 516-322-3555 5 TOWN HOMES 516-322-3555 of Far Rockaway, stable tenancy, Every Thursday income producing. Valley Stream: Nu 2 Mkt. Brick ranch, Weissman Realty Group 516-791-6100 Large 3 BR, first floor, huge LR and 100,000 readers great condition, quiet street. Nu EIK, DR, 1.5 bths, w/d hookup, best block in look forward to LR, Den, Lg Prop ...... $409K Far Rockaway. $1,750 per month, avail- For Rent ...... $2,500 FOR RENT able immediately. Call 917-697-4260 what’s happening 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 Cedarhurst — House Rental LR/FDR, Lawrence: OURS ONLY!! in the den, 3br, 2.5bth, Fin. Bsmt . . . . . $2,300 BRICK, C/H COL, Stately BRICK, w/old Cedarhurst — NU House, CH Col., LR, world charm, Hi ceilings, 6Br, 4.5 Call 516-322-3555 5 Towns by reading FDR, Kosher EIK, Den, 4BR., 3BTHS. BTHS, Kosher Eik, Lg. LR W/FPL, Lg. Bsmt ...... $3,200 The Five Towns FDR, Library, Fin. Bsmt., Lg Prop., Lawrence — Coop Rental. 1BR. 1NU 5 TOWN HOMES Jewish Times. WALK ALL. Bth, LR, DR, EIK...... $1,300 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 516-569-5710 5Town Homes ** 516-569-5710

Lawrence — 18 Berkley Place Lawrence — Oversized garden apart- Bayswater — New 2 BR basement apt, ment. 1,000 square feet, 2 BR, 1 BTH, Center hall col., 4 BR, 3 bths, stunning Deadline is Monday full kitchenette, full bth ...... $900 LR, DR, many closets, hardwood floors, cul-de-sac, best location . . $4K monthly at 5:00 p.m. 718-327-5782 well-lit, quiet, great location, price Call Irene 516-652-7099 negotiable ...... $219K Cedarhurst — All new, bright 3 BR, 1.5 1 Week ...... $35 Call 201-417-6197 Lawrence — Home on Broadway, close to Far Rockaway. 5 BR, 3.5 Bath, bths, ground floor apt in 2-family house, 2 Weeks ...... $60 Law: Hi Ranch. Must see, 4br, 2.5bth, Excellent Condition, By Owner. . $3,600 LR, FDR, EIK/ w new appliances, new 516-302-7394 fam rm, CAC, 2 car garage, large carpet, w/d included, yard and parking. 4 Weeks...... $100 prop ...... $800sK Walk all ...... $2,250 Far Rockaway — Brand New Building Ced: Nu2Mkt, 2Fam, 3br/3br, 2fpl, by the Beach Luxury Apt. Rentals 1 & 2 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 deck, all new, grt loc, full bsmt $795K Weekly Ads of up to beds, Granite kitchens, balconies with Cedarhurst: CH col., new quality water views, shabbos elevator, W/D Cedarhurst: Office rental: Executive 2 25 words construction. 7 bedroom, 4.5 bths, den, hookup, parking. Starting at $1,300 Bths, Fully Web wired, 1,250 sq. ft., LR, DR, oversized gourmet, granite Weissman Realty Group, LLC CAC. 5TGR 516-322-3555 EIK, huge FDR, 9' ceiling, finished Call: 516-569-0502 516-791-6100 basement prime location. Lawrence — Basement 2 BR, LR, and Asking ...... $1.25M Neilson Street — Brand new construc- Fax: 516-977-0608 kitchen, large and light, separate 5 TOWN HOMES 516-569-5710 tion. 3/4 bedrooms, 2 full baths central Or E-mail ads to: air, laundry hook up, parking. No entrance, parking. Asking . . . . . $1,295 14 Hazel Place, Woodmere By Owner. Rental Fee. Call Avromy, 347-752-0948 Call 516-647-0045, 516-901-9770 [email protected] Expanded Ranch, 4 BR, 3 Baths, EIK, D/R, Den, IGS, CAC, Oversized Cedarhurst — Garden apt. Nu 2 Mkt. Classified Ads are Include payment info. Property Quiet Street, Mint Condition, 2BR. 2Bth, Mint, 1st Flr, heat & prk Walk to worship...... $549K incld ...... $2,500 Continued on the Next Page. 516-232-3321 No Brokers. 5Town Homes 516-569-5710 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 67 CLASSIFIED ADS COMMERCIAL REAL Continued from Page 67 ESTATE FOR RENT MISCELLANEOUS Deadline for FOR RENT Advertising Inwood — Near JFK, class A modern FREE DIRECTV 5 months! Includes building, deluxe office suite, 500-6000 265+ Digital Channels and Movies! Ask in the Classifieds How! NFL Sunday Ticket is here. No square feet, use of facilities including start costs. Free DVR/HD receiver. Woodmere — For rent by owner. 2 bed- conference room, internet, fax & phone Packages start $29.99. DirectStarTV. room, 1 bathroom, eat-in-kitchen, living for the Next Issue is services, copy room, parking included. 1-800-306-1953 room/dining room, private entrance. 516-902-8686 Minutes from all shuls. $1,600+utilities. DIRECTV FREE 5 months! Includes Monday, August 10 Call 917-327-1291 5 Towns commercial locations avail- 265+ Digital Channels and Movies! Ask How! NFL Sunday Ticket is here. No able. Warehouses, offices, stores, land. start costs. Free DVR/HD receiver. Cedarhurst/Woodmere — All new 4-5 5:00 P.M. Long term and short term leases. Packages start $29.99. DirectStarTV. bedroom house for rent. Living room, A Realty 516-239-1552 1-800-973-9027 dining room, kosher kitchen with gran- Call ite counter, family room, 2 full baths. Office space for rent, Cedarhurst. OCEAN CORP. Houston, Texas. Train for New Career. Underwater Welder, Call 917-337-0962 Prime location on Central Ave. 1-4 Commercial Diver, NDT/Weld Inspector. 516-569-0502 rooms. 1 flight up, CA, CH. Please call LAWRENCE RENTAL — Lovely 3BR Job placement and financial aid for 917-417-5725 those who qualify. 1-800-321-0298 apt., 1st floor of private house, close to Shaaray and LIRR. Please call 516-318-9153

833 Central Ave. — Large studio apt, 24-hr security, no board approval, great location. Only ...... $900/month Weissman Realty 516-791-6100 COMMERCIAL REAL Your Ad ESTATE FOR RENT

Far Rockaway commercial space. Brand new construction. Ideally suited Could Be Here. for medical professional offices or com- munity facility. High ceilings. Very bright and airy. Many amenities, ocean views, reasonable rent. Weissman Realty Group, LLC 516-791-6100

68 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES Lawrence School District Faces First Amendment Lawsuit

Attorneys for public-school children in this happens, it is widely speculated that the Lawrence School District filed a feder- the board is set to use the sale proceeds to al civil rights suit against the district, sponsor tax breaks to aid Orthodox fami- claiming the Orthodox Jewish majority lies in paying yeshiva tuition.” on the school board has violated the First However, Albert D’Agostino, the attor- Amendment rights of parents and their ney representing the Lawrence district, children. The suit, filed in the Eastern noted that the court denied a temporary District of New York, claims that the restraining order requested by the plain- board of education has “unlawfully made tiffs Tuesday to keep the school open. laws and public policies regarding the The court said they had “little likelihood establishment of religion,” according to of success on the merits” of the case, court papers. D’Agostino said. He said the district One major issue is the board’s March “absolutely did not” violate the First 2009 decision to close school Number 6 Amendment rights of the public-school in Woodmere. This school was the parents. And “there are no plans at this newest and considered to be in the best point with respect to the disposition of physical condition. It is the only elemen- that school,” D’Agostino said. “There is a tary school with grass fields, the only process that has to be gone through handicapped-accessible elementary before any determination is made and school, and occupies the largest parcel of the public will not only be aware, but any of the schools, according to the plain- they will participate in that process.” He tiffs’ attorney, Rob Agostisi of Garden said no decision has been made on City. He said the district’s own consultant whether the school will be sold but it is expressed shock that the board would “doubtful” it would remain open. An shut the district’s best school, and further August 18 court date is set to determine suggested that the decision was based on whether a preliminary injunction to keep the school’s high resale value, instead of it from being sold will be granted. O educational considerations. District school buildings have been operating far beneath capacity for many years. “It is now widely speculated that the WHAT’S YOUR OPINION? board, consisting now of six out of seven Orthodox Jews who educate their own E-MAIL US AT children in yeshivas, plan to sell or lease School Number 6 to a yeshiva,” Agostisi [email protected] said in a statement. “Regardless of whether

5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 69 people who rather than skipping a work- second glance, I began to realize that, hey, I Lost Weight. They Say I Look Great. out because all the kids are home from maybe I fit into my new role quite well. school, will run up and down their flight of The race for perfection: Is there an Now What? stairs 100 times. One of my clients who was end? It’s always the same scenario. A different times of the day, even moving extremely disciplined to exercise every day client comes in and says, “I’d like to work BY TANYA ROSEN the scale to different parts of the room, all went running close to midnight every on my … (fill in with back, stomach, legs, in hopes of getting a better result. night after her very own sheva brachos. arms, etc.)” This is the body part I am not What will I eat for lunch? (thought Not believing compliments. In my gym, happy with. I say, “No problem.” So we This article is dedicated to anyone who about during breakfast) and What about I often overhear a lady complimenting work on it. Within some time, the client has lost a significant amount of weight, at that wedding? (thought about a month another lady saying something like says, “Wow, I really love how my … looks or knows someone who has. It is a ahead): These are constant thoughts that “Wow! You look great. You lost tons of now. However, I’ve been noticing my … straightforward and a real glimpse into run through a dieter’s mind. It is all about weight/inches”! Almost always, the (fill in blank with a new body part) and the ugly side of beauty. You may be enter- the next meal, or the next big event, or response is something like “Nah, I’m just would love to work on that.” I say again, tained, shocked, or simply relate and rec- the next holiday. This could be a great wearing black,” or “There was a fast day “No problem,” and the cycle continues. It ognize yourself in one of these vignettes. thing as it helps people be in control of this week, that’s why.” Meanwhile I had never fails. I have seen people go down A little background about myself first. their meals. Or it could take over an personally measured and weighed the more sizes than my age and still say that. After losing a significant amount of entire family’s life. I once got a call from woman receiving the compliment and Willing to try anything. If there is a weight myself, I became a personal train- a frantic husband telling me that his wife know for a fact (and so does she) just how new video promising to make you sweat er and aerobics instructor. Very quickly, I has gone nuts and that it is my fault. much she’s lost. And no, this is not a trait like never before, you buy it. A new piece became successful and busy with more When I calmed him down, he explained of humbleness. When these same of equipment comes out, you order it clients than I imagined. Aside from the that ever since I told her she should plan women are complimented on their cook- immediately. Any new health shake, sup- fact that people loved the results they her meals ahead of time, she has been ing, or houses, or jewelry, they proudly plement bar, tea, or vitamin that claims were seeing, they loved that I had been making lists for Chanukah, Purim, and smile and say, “Thank you.” to do the trick, and you’re hooked. This is on a similar journey and was able to lis- Pesach (This was in July). Feeling like an imposter in your own a common trend I see amongst women ten and empathize with them. This arti- Is she skinnier than me? In one of my body. I remember the first time ever that I who normally, in their regular lives, make cle is based on years of stories from hun- classes recently, I noticed a usually happy was officially a size “small.” I went shop- clear and rational researched decisions. I dreds of women of all shapes, all sizes, all (and very thin) lady looking worried and ping, and the saleslady asked what size I had a very mature and logical client tell saying the same thing, that is, that they glancing nervously to the sides. When we am, so she could help find the garment I me once that she’d do “anything” for a flat will never feel fully happy and content in lay down to do floor work, she lay down was looking at in the correct size. I took a stomach. Jokingly, I asked, “Even eat a tur- their own bodies, no matter how far next to me and whispered: “Tell me hon- long moment and then finally said “Uh, tle?” She looked at me completely seri- they’ve come. Read on to learn some of estly, is she thinner than me?” Shocked, I small.” I waited for her to laugh, roll her ously and asked, “Alive or dead?” the common phenomena and struggles realized she was referring to a new (also eyes, and look me over with disbelief— This article could be a book, and these women go through: very thin) lady who had joined my classes something to show that she knew I was a maybe one day it will be. Until then, do My best friend (or worst enemy), the recently. I reassured her that they were lying skinny wannabe. But she did none of your best and try your hardest, but most scale. On my diet plan, the rule is that you both very thin but she was not content. those. She simply went ahead and got me importantly, love yourself and when you are not allowed to weigh yourself more She absolutely needed to know that she a size small to try on. It’s almost like the get a well deserved compliment, smile than once a week. I do this because on was thinner. first time I wheeled a stroller on the street. and say, “Thank you.” They really do most women’s daily plan is to weigh them- The fear of one day without exercise. For I thought the whole world was complete- mean it and you REALLY do look great! O selves every single day and play what I call people who lost weight with diet and exer- ly aware that I was a brand new mom and “The scale game.” The scale game consists cise combined, exercise often becomes a had no clue what I was doing. However, as Tanya Rosen is a certified nutritionist and the of trying your luck in different outfits, at major part of their daily routine. I know everyone passed by without so much as a owner of Shape Fitness.

70 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES August 7, 2009 71 72 August 7, 2009 5 TOWNS JEWISH TIMES