Volume 40 • Issue 20 • www.themeliorist.com • Thursday, February 8, 2007 2 Editorial The Meliorist February 8, 2007 Meliorist

mehio-rism (meel'e riz'm, me'le e-), n. the doctrine that the world tends to become better And the saints or may be made better by human effort An autonomous body, separate from the U of L Students' Union SU-166, 4401 University Drive West, Lethbridge, AB T1K 3M4 Phone: 329-2334

go marching in The Meliorist is the student newspaper of the University of Lethbridge, published psychopathic butcher, who then most Thursdays throughout the academic By Chris Hibbard St. Agatha carries a palm martyrs who suffered in Alexandria year by The Meliorist Publishing Society, Editor-in-Chief branch and a plate or platter bearing during a local uprising against slaughtered them and put their an autonomous incorporated body. Please remains in a barrel to be cured and address all correspondence to The Meliorist two female breasts. This is symbolic Christians, and she was tortured 4401 University Drive, Lethbridge, Alberta. So Sunday was the big day of her martyrdom at the hands mercilessly. Supposedly all of her later sold as ham. T1K 3M4. or drop it off at room SU-166. Deadline for submissions is Sunday at noon - Super Bowl Sunday - a day that of a Sicilian named Quintanius. teeth were violently shattered, or The Meliorist appreciates and encourages the allows men to forget that Valentine's Supposedly, Agatha was quite a pulled out one by one. This is before Saint Sebastian, a favorite writing of thoughtful, concise, timely letters subject of renaissance painters, is the However. The Meliorist will only consider for Day is just around the corner. This hottie, but she had made a vow of she threw herself vigorously into the publication those letters which are signed can be a nice thing to forget. chastity, keeping her virginity for fire that she was to be was burned at only martyr said to have died twice. by the author (special arrangements may A Roman soldier and body guard to be made for those wishing anonymity, but Granted. Valentine's Day is a day God alone. So this Quintanius guy, the stake in. Twas not quite suicide, absolutely no pseudonyms), contain the set aside to celebrate love, affection, who wanted to get in her pants, got but rather an embracement of her the Emperor Diocletian, when he authors legible name, address, telephone mad, and since he couldn't win her was revealed as a secret Christian, number and student identification number romance and all that other sweet fate, and a final rejection of the (address, ID and phone number not for stuff, but there is a reason why it's over, he had her breasts cut off. To wishes of her tormentors. he was ordered to convert. Sebastian publication). Letters may be edited for this Agatha coolly responded, "Are refused, and he was sentenced to brevity, clarity and legality. The Meliorist known as a Hallmark holiday. Men reserves the right to edit submissions and and women are expected to buy you not ashamed to cut off from Saint Lucy had it rough too. execution by firing squad (arrows will not print libelous material. each other commodities and goods a woman that with which your She was a young noblewoman who back in those days). Legend has it that somehow express their feelings mothers suckled you?" Legend has it gave away all of her belongings that he somehow survived a body Editor-in-Chief for one another. We are expected that St. Peter kindly showed up with to the poor. The legend attached full of arrows, and was nursed back Chris Hibbard some celestial ointment and restored to health by a fellow Christian. Once to, and pressured to, dish out some to her says that a pagan suitor [email protected] money to show our affection for one Agatha's chest to its former state, was rejected by Lucy, and was so he was better, he began preaching another - as if it makes up for our but her suitor still wasn't happy. He infuriated that he denounced her as the good word of God. When it was Business Manager not showing affection the other 364 had her dragged over hot coals and a Christian to the local magistrate. discovered that he was still alive, he Kelly Kennedy days of the year. imprisoned. God responded to this The magistrate in turn ordered Lucy was beaten to death with clubs in [email protected] with an earthquake during which the gladiator's arena. It can be a dangerous day. Do to burn a sacrifice to the Emperor's Advertising Manager I love you so much that I give you Quintanius, the entire town, and an image. When she refused, she was Maria Berlando candies? Or do I love you so much imprisoned Agatha all perished. Her sentenced to be defiled in a brother. And finally, we come back to [email protected] that I give you jewelry? What if my day is February 5. To this order, she is said to have good old Vally, St. Valentine gift shows less love than yours does? spoken "If thou make my body to himself, whose good deeds and bad Production Manager Sarah Fulcher death have motivated us into feeling Does this mean that I don't love you Similarly, there is St. Agnes, be defouled without mine assent, [email protected] as much as you love me? who carries a lamb which symbolizes and against my will, my chastity obligated to spoil each other rotten Anyway, I prefer to call it the virginity she died to protect. shall increase double to the merit every year at the mall. News Editor Commercial Cash Cow Day. For According to her legend, some guy of the crown of glory." This pissed There are differing opinions as Shannon Frank better or for worse, this this year named Sempronius wished Agnes to off the magistrate, and he had her to the actual St. Valentine but the [email protected] marry his son, and on Agnes' refusal I get to avoid the whole deal. And dragged behind a team of oxen, her most common one is this. A Roman Entertainment Editor while I hope you all have a very he condemned her to death. To make eyes gouged out, and finally stabbed priest, Valentine was imprisoned Amy Dewar Happy Valentine's Day, this year matters worse, since Roman law did with a dagger in her throat. To this and executed on February 12, 269 [email protected] I plan on making myself a lasagna not permit the execution of virgins, day she is pictured holding her own A.D. after defying Emperor Claudius - just to show me how much I he ordered her to be raped first, eyes. II. Legend has it that Claudius Sports Editor Ainsley Doty care. I may even wash it down with but her virginity was miraculously wanted many soldiers for a great [email protected] chocolate for dessert. preserved. When led out to die she Saint Nicholas of Myra, a army and many married men were But I told myself that this article was tied to a stake, but the bundle fourth century bishop, is best known reluctant to leave their families and Features Editor / Office Assistant wouldn't be about love, romance, of wood would not burn, whereupon nowadays as good old Saint Nick, enlist. So Claudius passed a decree Tabitha Schaub and the big V-Day, so it will not the officer in charge of the troops Santa. What many do not know forbidding marriage. Valentine, not [email protected] be. From this point on, this article drew his sword and struck off her about Saint Nicholas, is that he is supporting this decree, continued Photo Editor head. Very pleasant. is about saints. Now, not being sometimes pictured with a barrel full to marry couples in secret, and was Heather MacBeath a Catholic, so I am generally not of young boys. This image derives eventually caught and imprisoned, [email protected] aware of saints, their meanings, St. Apollonia, the patron from a story in which Nicholas sentenced to death by beating, their lives and deaths. But since saint of dentists, and is often miraculously resurrected stoning, and beheading. Supposedly, Webmaster Feb. 14 is named after one of them, pictured carrying what three young boys Matt Sletto during his imprisonment, he became [email protected] I decided to investigate. I found look like pliers. She who had been close with the jailer's daughter. On that Mussolini once said that, was one of a lured into the a letter that he left her, he signed it Distribution Manager "the history of saints is mainly the group of house of a "Love from Your Valentine". Hence, George Andrews history of insane people" and after virgin love letters on Feb. 14. Through his [email protected] doing some research, I'd almost martyrdom, Valentine was anointed agree with him. Production Assistant a Saint nearly 200 years later, and Herleyna AbdulHamid Before I go on, I feel that I should is now considered the Patron Saint [email protected] probably warn you of something, so of Love, Young People, and Happy consider this a disclaimer. There Marriages. Creative Designer seems to be two prerequisites Amber Herbison cdesignerOthemeliorist.com necessary for sainthood. One Nothing makes a holiday has to be faithful, pious sweeter and more special Printing and pure; only to be than than the knowledge Southern Alberta tortured and executed that it represents the Newspaper Group in horrendous ways. beating and execution So the following of a kind and gentle ( ontributors; might be a little person just Chris Jappert graphic for some look at Easter. Kevin Wemple people. But Hut enjoy your Matthew Kout/on Robin Drain check these out <• ho col a tes, Joshua Schroeder - Valentine's your kisses not even Keith McLaughlin and your Robbie Larson of the cooler date; and Grant Cooper saints. Thi may your Matt Call beck ones make big V-Daj Valentine's not result in cl e m i s e a had V.D. s e e ni Feel free to email any concerns, peaceful questions, letters, comments, com­ plaints, story ideas or contributions and quick. to I IN< «< themeliorist.iom. Deadline for ALL submissions is Sunday at noon.

If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me. - Ralph Waldo Emerson February 8, 2007 The Meliorist News 3 Man caught peeping into change room

By Shannon Frank very much judging from the location News Editor of the hole but that measures have \tfgtoj&!t0tf itfujui W WMlfltl'iWftlllll been taken to ensure it won't happen u The A male construction worker was again. construction fired immediately after being caught "The safety of our students and of the physical peeping into the women's aquatic the users of our facilities are critical, education AQUATIC CENTRE change rooms at the U of L. A co­ and we are taking this incident very worker who reported the incident to seriously. All precautions have building gave the supervisor caught the man and been taken to ensure that such an a man The CHANCE BOOMS the university was informed of the incident will not occur in the future," opportunity to incident. says Walker. drill a hole in He had apparently drilled a hole The hole has been covered up the ceiling and in the wood of a crawl space in the with "more substantial covering" look into the ceiling that looked into the hallway and the Lethbridge Regional Police in the change room. have been asked to investigate. So female aquatic Nancy Walker, Vice President of far no charges have been laid and change room Finance and Administration says the peeper's name has not been he would not have been able to see released. Hope for Democrats in 2008?

to use them and wanted to use them If the Democrats really want to By Keith McLaughlin to destroy America. Saddam was emulate Republicans they should Meliorist Contributor also accused of being in cahoots with start by nominating a candidate Osama bin Laden. Independent that demonstrates conviction. Since 1968 only two Democrats analysts and experts knew these Republicans, unlike Democrats, have served as President of the claims not to be "miscalculations are principled, convinced and United States (Carter, 72-76 and of intelligence" but outright lies to unashamed of their convictions; Clinton, 92-00). In 2000 Democratic pursue a war of aggression, which these traits need to be personified Presidential candidate Al Gore won under Nuremberg standards is the by the Democratic nominee if they the popular vote by over a million worst possible international crime. want to win. Barack Obama may be ballots but lost the Electoral College Last fall the Democrats actually that person. when he lost Florida in the most won the midterm elections in Obama is what he appears to be, dubious of circumstances. convincing fashion taking control of that is the immensely articulate fresh The state of Florida was under both the House and the Senate. The face and bright light in America's Republican control governed by Democrats ran a better campaign dower political landscape. He is George W. Bush's brother, Jeb. In this time around which was designed not a radical liberal but a sensible the U.S, elections are administered by Howard Dean, who became one; he supports liberal issues and monitored by state appointed chairman of the party after he was such as health care reform and fair officials in this case Republicans. A sidelined as front man to appease distribution of American wealth. still undetermined amount of votes conservative voters. This election Obama is not ashamed to advocate were disqualified for all sorts of victory however was a public these positions; he articulates them reasons, for instance if a voter did backlash against the Iraq war and in sucli a concise clear manner that not vote at their designated polling the scandal-ridden Republicans not perhaps finally these Democratic station their vote was disqualified. a victory for liberalism in America. policy initiatives will withstand in Back in 2000 Floridians still used The next Presidential election is 20 the minds of the American people the punch-card ballot that has now months away and the Democratic and not be destroyed by Republican been replaced by electronic voting challenger has no easy task; this propagandists and the corporate machines that provide no paper trail; time they won't be able to rely on media. But that doesn't mean they many of these punch-votes were anti-Bush sentiment to carry them, won't try. also disqualified because the punch they will have to run a competent Both Fox News and CNN have card was only partially perforated. campaign and chose a competent already attempted to smear Obama. African-Americans who tend to vote candidate. Likely Republican Television "journalist' Wolf Blitzer overwhelmingly Democratic (90%) challengers include former NYC recently hosted a round table alleged fraud when many voter Mayor Rudolph Giuliani and Arizona discussion about the fact Obama s registration records mysteriously Senator John McCain. Giuliani and middle name is Hussein and that his disappeared - they were not allowed McCain are moderate Republicans last name rhymes with Osama, he to vote. who certainly have to toughen their then proceeded to ask "analysts' how The first recount decided that views on gay rights and abortion that would effect his prosecution George Bush had won Florida by Barack Obama may be just what the Democrats need to win the as to appease the fundamentalist of the "war on terror". Fox News a few hundred votes; Democratic next presidential election, even though he has been attacked for Christians who are highly influential broke a story about how Obama lawyers challenged the ruling and being a smoker, having a name that sounds like Osama and in Republican primaries. attended a Madrasah as a young boy a second recount begun but never because his middle name is Hussein. The front-runners for the in Indonesia. Madrasah is Arabic finished. Republican lawyers Democratic nomination are for school yet Fox implied it means appealed the federal court ruling Senators Hilary Clinton and Barack terrorist training camp. The school to have another recount and the In the lead up to the 2004 election deny them legal council, hold them Obama. Either one if nominated in question turned out to be secular conservative Supreme Court agreed Cheney told a crowd during an without charge for an indefinite would be an historic event a.s no as are the majority of Madrasahs. with the Republicans in a partisan appearance that Americans mustn't amount of time and torture them woman or minority has ever secured Never expect Faux News to fact- political 5-4 ruling that handed make the "wrong decision" in the legally under American law. the nomination for president from check, that's something journalists George W. Bush the Presidency. upcoming election and risk "being The subsequent physical, a party. The Democrats need to do propagandists don't have the Essentially Bush was appointed hit again" by terrorists. Cheney psychological and sensory abuses nominate a candidate that has time. President by the conservative insisted that somehow a vote for along with religious and sexual the courage to stand up for their ()baina can expect more and more Supreme Court under a fraudulent .John Kerry would translate into a humiliation suffered by detainees convictions and not cower to the trivial onslaughts to be sprung pretext. terrorist attack. at Guantanamo is well documented, assaults from the Republicans and upon him fortunately for him he is The crushing election 'loss' in The Democrats, devoid of any few Democrats actually expressed the corporate media. Hilary Clinton super-smart and confident and can 2000 is not however when the convictions, principals and guts any object until it was politically is not that person. counter the media with is piercing already wondering Democrats lost submitted to the Bush White House expedient to do so. Hilary has amassed a small charm and use of logic. Obama is themselves entirely - that happened and the Republican controlled The tactic of emulating Republican fortune to fund her campaign very unlike the timid and scared after 9/11 when Republicans re­ Congress because they feared positions backfired for the largely because of her husband's focus-group Democrats, he has a introduced the politics of fear and appearing weak on the "war on Democrats, as they were defeated connections. Hilary like .John spine and can stand tall. the narratives of "good versus evil" terror" or un-patriotic at a time of easily in the 2002 mid-term Kerry before her formulates policy Democrats are the architects into the American political psyche. national duress. They supported elections losing seats in both houses through focus groups - not on of their own misfortune - simply Immediately following 9/11 the the Administration in their policy of Congress. principals. She has been for the past because they haven't had the balls Hush Administration's rottweilers to term Afghan fighters or any Democrats continued their few years moderating her stances on to combat Republican and media Dick Cheney and Karl Rove insisted suspected terrorist caught anywhere unabashed support for the neo- taxes, health care and the military hypocrisy. In L998 the Republicans that Democrats wanted to forgive the as "enemy combatants", which conservative agenda in the run-up to appease the American right. moved to impeach Bill Clinton terrorists for 9/11 and rehabilitate is simply a legal term the White to the invasion of Iraq. Senior and Hilary has become quite hawkish because he lied about getting a them. Cheney and Rove have made House conjured up so they could leading Democrats including Hilary in the arena of foreign policy as blowjob but in 2007 the Democrats several outlandish and illogical avoid International and Human Clinton and .John Kerry voted for she supported the Iraq war and the will not impeach Bush and Cheney statements in the past several years Rights laws such as the Geneva war with Iraq choosing to side with Administrations foolish Middle- for lying about the war and abusing but they get away with it simply Convention. This allowed the U.S the White House's blatantly farcical Fast policy. She has again changed the Constitution. Clinton did because no one calls them on it save to apprehend terror suspects on claims that Saddam Hussein these positions but only after it was lie about the oral sex but tens of for Comedy Central's dynamic-duo. the battlefield and elsewhere and possessed WMD, had the capability politically fashionable to do so. thousands never died for it. 4 News The Meliorist February 8, 2007 Getting to know our Mayor transforms it into energy that is then used to By Chris Jappert power the treatment plant. Mayor Tarleck's News Contributor view on the environment is "you can't make decisions in isolation." Many U of L students come from places Revamping downtown Lethbridge is also a outside of Lethbridge and are here for just high priority for Tarleck. Recently, there was eight months completing their studies. So it is a public forum to discuss the development of understandable if many students don't know the downtown core. The forum, which was much about city* politics in Lethbridge. called the Heart of our City, was focused on Lethbridge's mayor, Robert Tarleck, has improving the cultural, business and overall been serving in office for a number of years, appearance of the main center. Some of the running and winning in 2001. proposed layout includes a new theatre in the His reason for becoming mayor was to middle of the downtown core and a new look complete a noble vision he has for our town. for the city center. "I want to bring change to this community, a One of the more recent moves made by the sense of partnership," Mayor Tarleck told the Council was the recent smoking ban in almost Meliorist in a recent interview. To accomplish all public places. The ban targets restaurants this goal, Tarleck felt it would be next to and bars especially. Mayor Tarleck stands by impossible to do from the outside. the ban. Originally from Vancouver BC, where he "There have been negative reactions but Bob Tarleck, mayor of Lethbridge since 2001. His vision for Lethbridge includes a it has been 10-1, in favor of the ban." He was well known for his abilities in track and sustainable energy sector and revamping the downtown core. field. In 1957, he held the Canadian record for continues, stating that he has received calls the 100-metre dash. A handful of years later, from employees that are grateful for being together a number of representatives from water. "Water is going to be an incredibly able to breathe. Mayor Tarleck says it is the he moved to Lethbridge and even taught at all aspects of the Lethbridge community important feature in the world." the University. responsibility of politicians to make the right towards improving the economic settings and One plan is an extensive storm water program. calls, not just the popular ones. For 18 years, Tarleck sat as an alderman This program, Mayor Tarleck explained, is workings ofthe city. This October will be an election month for on the city council. After a brief break from being built into all new communities and One ofthe priorities on Mayor Tarleck's list city council. Mayor Tarleck is not saying much politics, he ran for mayor and won, a position subdivisions. It involves building storm water has been the environment. One committee about his plans on that subject. However, he has held ever since. detention ponds and man-made wetlands to that Mayor Tarleck chairs has made a motion he did say this; "...in the spring, I will be One ofthe many projects Mayor Tarleck has help deal with the over fall of rain. As well, and led the charge for the Southwest Alberta reflecting on (running again) and meeting been involved in is Economic Development the wetlands would help to filter and clean the Alternative Energy Partnership. with my committee. My view, the central Lethbridge. water as it reenters the river, and help keep "We have about 35 communities in question is not whether I can get reelected "I thought economic development should southwestern Alberta that are now a part, not water out of basements. reflect not just the interests of the business again but whether or not I can continue to just attracting business to southern Alberta, In addition, Lethbridge has a sewage make a positive impact on this community." community but of the cultural community as (but) of creating an industry for sustainable treatment system that has won awards. The Mayor Tarleck is the 27th mayor of well," Mayor Tarleck explained. energy." treatment system collects the methane gas Lethbridge. The goal of the project has been to bring Mayor Tarleck also intends to help out our from the sewage decomposition process and Aggies prepare for 'best party of the year'

door then remember that Aggies President Shannon Frank Kyle Moir promises speedy service and very News Editor short lines. "We are going to have two beer tubs, a satellite bar and the main bar open Students are invited to join the party at The so nobody should have to wait very long for Zoo this Saturday as the U of L Agricultural a drink." Club celebrates its fifth annual Agapalooza. Tickets are $15 in advance or $20 at the door. The extravaganza includes live country artist A warm up party will be held on the Friday Tracy Millar and country/rock artist Bill evening before the main event. A food drive Hanson, formerly a member of Kidd Country. will also be held where one food item will get Tracy Millar grew up in Hines Creek, Alberta you one chance to win a prize. Students are and is well known for her Top 20 song "From welcome to bring multiple food donations to the First Hello." increase their chances. Most ofthe prizes will Students' Union President Dustin Fuller be Molson sponsored and winners can expect promises students it will be "the best party of things like t-shirts, belt buckles, hats and gift the year at The Zoo." certificates. Doors open at 7:30 and then at 9:00 the real Last year a crowd of 450 showed up for fun begins with the live shows. Live music will Agapalooza and this year the club hopes to fill be playing all night long until 1:30am with Bill The Zoo to capacity. Hanson, who sings a wide range of rock songs Drink specials include $3 cans of Pilsner, $3 and country tunes. He is even expected to Jagermeister and $4.25 Jager bombs. take requests. A DJ will keep the party going Tickets are available at the Service Centre, between live sets. the Students' Union office, at a table in the Agapalooza never disappoints and is shaping up to be the best If that is not enough to get you through the atrium or by emailing [email protected]. ever with live music until 1:30 a.m. and fast service. Daycare update: Task force looking for funding

By Shannon Frank another source of potential funds. News Editor The task force has a representative from the university's Board of Governors, the student There is still a possibility that a daycare will body, the Graduate Student Association, the be constructed on the university campus. Daycare Action Committee as well as staff and After the Board of Governor's met in faculty representatives. Their goal is to create December they asked that a task force be a memorandum of understanding between all created to deal with some of the key issues stakeholders that will govern how the daycare facing the construction of a daycare on will be funded and operated. campus. The main problem is the one million The main operational challenge is giving dollars needed to build a new facility. spaces to whom and based on what merit. Nancy Walker, VP Finance and Spaces may be doled out based on how much Administration, says the university cannot funding each group gives to the construction afford to fund the entire project because it has of the facility or based on need. so many other priorities right now with other If the task force can find enough funds capitol projects. and has a firm commitment for those funds The task force will be looking into getting Walker says, "it is very likely" the U of L will funds from students, faculty and staff. This get a campus daycare. would require a referendum and would likely The Board of Governors has the ultimate ask for $2 to $5 per semester. The university decision and will review the findings of the If the task force can locate financial commitments to fund the building has said it would likely be able to contribute task force in the next few months. A final construction It is very likely that a campus daycare will be built. some funds and the Students' Union may be decision will be made by April. February 8, 2007 The Meliorist News 5

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course devoted to climate change - ENVS 4000. Unfortunately, it By Robbie Larson is filled with 40 environmental Meliorist Contributor science students, and there are no students from other disciplines, such as the social sciences or Lights, camera, action! humanities. We spend a lot of time That's right: Action! discussing the important causes and impacts of climate change. The media spotlight now shines However, finding solutions requires brightlyonclimatechange. Foryears, knowledge of politics, sociology, scientists have been painstakingly history, education, psychology, and making sense of human impacts economics. For example, although on the earth's climate. A chunk of we need to explore the "carrot their homework is now complete, and stick" approach to changing and they conclude that humans are individual and corporate behaviour, causing about 90 per cent of global students in our class know little warming. The stage is now set for about how tough regulations or the rest ofthe actors in the play: you government incentives actually play and me. out in the real world. As students, Last week, the Intergovernmental we need a multifaceted perspective. Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), One third of global carbon dioxide emissions comes from transportation so everyone who owns a vehicle has Our collective failure to act so released its Fourth Assessment a chance to cut their output. far attests to the complex and Report on the physical basis of activities began in 1750); and Antarctic ice sheets melting and challenges, which brings me to multi-disciplinary nature of the climate change. Over 2,500 leading • The globe's average temperature thermal expansion ofthe oceans. my next point: why aren't non- problem. The time may be ripe for climatologists scrutinized this has wanned o.740Csince 1900, and The IPCC also makes future scientists studying this? The other such a multi-disciplinary program report, which was signed off by eleven ofthe last tivelve years rank warming predictions, showing day, I was talking with a friend on climate change at our own 113 of the United Nations member among the 12 warmest years in the warming of at least another i.8°C by about what he intends to do after University. countries. Compared to the 2001 instrumental record (going back to 2100. This means we are likely to finishing his undergraduate degree. The scientists have set the stage. Third Assessment Report, many 1850); surpass 2°C of warming since 1750. "I'm obviously into politics and We must now answer the call as statements have been enforced and • Increased solar output has indeed Mounting evidence from ecologists policy," he said, "but otherwise I responsible actors in this play. expanded. Key findings include: contributed to warming, but this suggests this "two degrees tipping don't know... I don't know." My Someone remember to replace that effect is smaller than previously point" will lead to the collapse advice is to learn about climate spotlight with an energy-efficient • Atmospheric CO2 concentrations believed, and is insignificant next to of entire ecosystems, such as change, because it will be the light bulb, because climate change arc now at 379 ppm,far exceeding the warming due to human-caused ocean fisheries and the Amazon defining issue of our generation is here to stay and begs us to put our concentrations at any time in the greenhouse gas emissions; rainforest. (and knowledgeable people in this best ideas on stage. This is not a last 650,000 years (they were at • Sea levels rose 0.17 m in the 20th Much can be done to move past field will be in high demand). dress rehearsal. 280 ppm before significant human Century, mostly due to Greenland the science and overcome future Fortunately, there is one U of L Wal-Mart under fire helicopter at their disposal. By Shannon Frank After unionizing however, the News Editor store was shut down by Wal-Mart claiming they were losing money A film showed at the U of L and could not afford to stay open. warns shoppers that if they shop The company then opened another at Wal-Mart they are "supporting store just outside of the city. In exploitation" of children in poor court Wal-Mart could not prove it countries and poor workers in their was losing money and was found own town. guilty. Wal-Town: The Film is a The iiberculture group says Wal- documentary of a group from Mart is very hypocritical by not Montreal travelling across Canada allowing workers to unionize to talk to shoppers at Wal-Marts, because they use the same tactic to Wal-Mart employees and city buy products at the lowest possible councillors. Their message: that price from suppliers. Wal-Mart needs to clean up its act They also say that there are many and until it does shoppers should common myths that shoppers not support it. believe that prevent them from "Wal-Mart is making billions knowing the truth and making an upon billions of dollars each year, informed decision about where to shouldn't their employees be the shop. One of the most common is best paid as well?" asks the film. that Wal-Mart creates jobs but Wal- In 2006 Wal-Mart was ranked as Towners say that is not the whole the second largest corporation in picture. They say that better jobs the world behind Exxon-Mobil. Its Wal-Town The Film says human and labour rights abuses, discrimination against women and are lost when other local businesses revenues were $315.6 billion with destroying downtown cores have become the hallmarks of Wal-Towns everywhere. shut down because the jobs created profits of $11.2 billion giving it an do not pay as much and have fewer economy bigger than several large benefits and in the long term more nations, including Norway and impact on communities that retail human rights violations and labour Canadians. Ezra says they want the jobs are often lost than created. Saudi Arabia. The Walton family, corporations have. They believe that rights violations in 25 countries, exact opposite and that Wal-Mart, Last year the government of who own the greatest number of communities lose their creativity 1 400 child labour violations in like many other corporations, could Norway sold over $450 million shares, are the richest people on and their uniqueness when big box Maine and is being sued by 1.5 afford to pay their employees more worth of stocks it owned in Wal- earth with a combined worth of stores like Wal-Mart move in and million female employees for but are not because they are getting Mart because of "serious and $100 billion. hence the name of the film, Wal- discrimination. These women claim away with it. The company even systematic" abuses of human and Rob and Ezra, who are in the Town, because all towns start to they are paid less than an equivalent receives subsidies from municipal labour rights. The stocks were film, are touring to show the film look the same. male co-worker and are not allowed governments to build their stores invested as part ofthe governments along with Sergeo, the Director. The film outlines how many to move up into managerial when they could afford to pay for it pension fund but the government's The National Film Board and the retailers were forced to shut down, positions, even after being promised themselves. Council of Ethics decided it could no CBC have both been involved in its how some employees lost their a higher position. In Jonquiere, Quebec, the longer be a part of Wal-Mart. The making and its success shows that jobs if they complained about poor At Wal-Mart's Canadian head office employees at the local Wal-Mart Canadian government's pension many Canadians are wondering working conditions and how Wal- the CFO says the group in the film is managed to fight against the retail fund continues to invest in Wal- about Wal-Mart's effect on their Mart fights unionization because just a bunch of "activists" "looking giant and became unionized. Mart. community. they "don't want to increase wages, for a target" and that Canadians art- According to insiders who worked In Lethbridge a second Wal-Mart The tour was started from a group give employees a voice in the happy with Wal-Mart. In the film for Wal-Mart's strategic team, is being built on the north side and a (•idled iiberculture who say they workplace or have to give employees even a city mayor in Newfoundland Wal-Mart employs an anti-union proposal for a third one on the west want to resist the commercialization more benefits." accuses them of being "Soviets" team to tight against workers who side is being made to city hall. of culture and the devastating Wal-Mart has been charged with and wanting to take jobs away from try to unionize. They even have a see related story on page 13 STUDENTS' UNION

mm-£ft** ULSU EXECUTIVE COUNCIL UPDATE Nic Barker here. I am a GA Rep people involved. choir members .till Oberg and the girl NOTICE OF MOTION and Director and I have some infor­ After two back-to-back nights told Jill with enthusiasm how much mative things for you. here at the U of L, the show toured to she really enjoyed the whole perfor­ Changes to the ULSU Firstly, I just want to give a shout the U of C on Thursday and then to the mance. For those of you who missed out to ORS for their donation of 276 U of A on Saturday where they per­ this awesome experience, next time. Constitution and Bylaws jars of peanut butter to the ULSU Food formed their final show. Overall this first time perfor­ bank. That was a very self-less dona­ I spoke with some ofthe perform­ mance, which artistically Michael tion, promoting thoughtfulness and ers and they kept/keep telling me that Bernard led the charge on, deserves at The ULSU has proposed changes to its Constitution and Bylaws. understanding within the University they had the time of their life, com­ the least a congratulations on a show To view a copy come to the Students' Union office (SU180) or community. Thanks for helping. pletely a new experience. According well done. Thank-you to all ofthe per­ visit our web site at www.ulsu.ca. For more information contact Dustin Fuller, President at 329-2221 or su.president@>uleth.ca Now for a huge update on the re­ to Adam Cope (one ofthe actors), "Not formers for being proud to show off cent tour ofthe ULSU sponsored show, only was the performance 'Epic' but what you have learned thus far in your "These Proportions are Epic". the relationships forested between all lives. Ifyou see any ofthe performers Constitution ofthe A little back ground you say... ofthe Fine Arts faculties were 'Epic' as let them know what you thought. Students' Union, The University of Lethbridge Article I Name Well, I have been working side-by- well." This show I believe gave a new Another big thanks to our cam­ Article II Definitions side with Michael Bernard since the appreciation for the diversified groups pus radio station CKXU, who worked Article III Governance middle of October on an idea that, be­ of students that blended together to the door and the merchandise table Article IV Membership ofthe ULSU came known as, "These Proportions create this performance. for all of the shows. Article V The Mission, Vision and Objects are Epic". This event was the first of Not only did the students in the And finally, a really big thanks to Article VI Legislation Article VII Membership and Rights of Members its kind here at the U of L, (as far as show have the time of their life but I the Drama Department technicians. Article VIII Students' Council I know) that was completely student also believe that this gave rise to a new Without your support and expertise, Article IX Matters of Executive Character organized, written and owned, incor­ spectacle for audience members to this event would not have been pos­ Article X Amendatory Process porating about 40 student perform­ enjoy. Tyler Nightingale told me that, sible! Article XI Finance ers. I believe that the best part of this "The crowd interaction was intimate, Nic Barker Article XII Quorum initiative was that we tried our best to intense and incredible." I ran into an­ Arts & Sciences Rep / Article XIII Student Organizations Article XV Conflict of Interest intimate a real life experience for the other girl at Starbucks with one ofthe Director Article XXI Membership fees and Student Levies Article XXII The Students' Union Building.

Bylaws ofthe HEALTH & DENTAL PLAN Students' Union, The University of Lethbridge Bylaw I Student Council Traveling Insurance for Reading Week Bylaw II The Executive Council Reading week is just around the from Green Shield Travel Assist will tions through the prescription drugs Bylaw III The General Assembly Bylaw IV Honoraria corner (Starting Feb 19) and many be assigned to your case to help you benefit (for example hepatitis A.) If Bylaw V Council Obligations students are starting to make plans. get the medical care you need. you are traveling to a foreign country, Bylaw VI The President Some of these plans may actually Not only do you have medical please seek advice from your doctor Bylaw VII The Vice President Internal Affairs include some study time during read­ assistance through this program, but about any appropriate vaccinations Bylaw VIII The Vice President Academic ing week, but most students are prob­ you also have travel assistance. Ifyou you may need. Bylaw IX The Vice President Administration Bylaw X The Faculty Representatives ably scheduling some much needed need a translator, emergency funds Please come to the Students' Bylaw XI The Commissioners rime off. transfer, or legal assistance, Green Union office and pick up a Travel As­ Bylaw XII The Residence Representative Some students may be planning Shield Travel Assist is there to help sist brochure to become informed Bylaw XIII The Edmonton Campus Director a vacation that takes them out of the you when you need it most. about the coverage available to you. Bylaw XIV The Calgary Campus Director country. If you are one of these stu­ Unfortunately, Students who Our friendly staff will outline what Bylaw XV The Undergraduate Board of Governors Representative dents, are you aware that the Health a have opted-out of the Student Health you need to do in the event you need Bylaw XVI The Chair ofthe General Assembly Bylaw XVII Code of Conduct Dental Plan has Travel Insurance? and Dental plan, are not able to add to use this benefit. Bylaw XVIII The Removal of Council Members from Office All full-time students, enrolled back on to the student plan to re­ For more information about Bylaw XIX Employees on the Health and Dental Plan have ceive travel insurance. The Students' Travel Insurance or about the Health Bylaw XX Elections, Referendum and Plebiscite Bylaw up to 60 days in travel benefits. This Union strongly encourage you to se­ and Dental plan in general, visit our Bylaw XXI The Chief Returning Officer benefit is provided to ensure you are cure travel assurance, before you leave web site at www.ulsu.ca or come to Bylaw XXII Clubs taken care of during a medial situa­ Bylaw XXIII Clubs Council the country. Incurring large medical our office (SU180) to speak with the Bylaw XXIV Discretionary Monies tion. expenses during your vacation may Health and Dental Administrator. The Bylaw XXV Credit Card If you become ill or injured or jeopardize your education. Administrator may also be reached by Bylaw XXVI Honorarium Advance require any medical services when The Student Health and Dental phone at 329-2039 or via e-mail at Bylaw XXVII Travel, Conference, and Per Diem Expenditures you're away from home, an agent plan also covers a variety of vaccina­ [email protected].

yW-^K^mer CAUCV... Jourda. JC/KLGiARY DrinkSpockifs Men: JugotPilsner $8.50 E •>,. Tues. Pint of Kokanee Gold $3.00 Wed: Pint of Canadian $3.00 Thurs: Bottled Kokanee $3.00 Watch All Of The Flames Games Fri: Bottled Big Rock $3.00 Happy Hour Prices From 4pm - 6pm Including Pay-Per-View! ^tu^% Weekdays At The ZOO! &S&JI-1 On Campus FoodSpecsass Thursday Feb 8& 5 pm Dozen Wings $3.00 Spicy Beef Nachos $8.00 Until March 16 Columbus us Calgary Supreme Fries $7.00 NHL Platter $12.00 Tuesday, Fab 13 & 7:30 pm Steak Sandwich 8, Fries $6. SO Beef Burger & Fries $6.50 Atlanta us Calgary Dozen Wings kohs: Photography studio ofthe ULSU Held in Ballroom B. ULSU Boardroom.

INTRODUCING OUR NEW WEBSITE February 8, 2007 The Meliorist Features 7 The Legend of the Widow's Walk: Part One

By Matthew Koutzun him careful not to trip and lose still haunted him and he could not rest, and then finally to the place head, his breath sour and raw. The Meliorist Contributor his prize. He thought of her as bring himself to help her. He could where she now rests. He stormed spit from his own mouth spraying, such now, like a precious fish that only stare safely from a distance, into the room and took her by mingling with her own that leaked Once, in a place far from here, there would sell for premium at the refusing to let his hands linger her shoulders- a hand firmly on from her mouth still, her coughing was a handsome man. He lived a life town he was suddenly entering. below his waist. Linger, linger, just each, and shook for the life of him, from the cool liquid that ran down beyond what most would even think The shops and market place busy, one finger. It was the one thing he shook: her head bending- snapping- her throat, her coughing... her of ever owning. He sailed the ocean him weaving with the girl in his could do without touching her. jerking in sick and tattered rips of hair tangled and shifting back and and worked hard everyday for what arms, people staring asking the He fed her, exercised her, and even taut relentless cold muscle. Arms forth on her face, her coughing... he had, and could have any woman same questions he did only now, changed her in the coming weeks, swinging, limp and cold. Saliva And still she became. And still he he wished, if he'd only choose. with him as a suspicious twist. becoming bold enough to clean even spitting and dripping from the became. And then he laid her down One day at sea, he noticed someone Women offering apples, as if this the most private places. He had corners of her awkward moving again, her breathing harsher, more thrashing, someone drowning in young girl had not learned enough cleaned and comforted for months, lips. The air stale that came from alive than before. And she opened the water as he pulled up that days of strange apples in her deep sleep neglecting himself and his home, it her lungs, as lifeless as a corpse, her eyes. And he smiled. And she morning catch. He turned his boat of snow, but still the young man leaking from time to time, the fire but one that would not just die. smiled. towards the trouble hoping that continued through the town eager slowing from lack of wood. Women And he screamed to her: why! He he was not too late. The waters to finally reach the town doctor commented on how the young man screamed to her the questions in his www.tineimagery.blogspot.com thrashed around this person stuck whom he believed would have looked: aged and worn in a matter in the sea and he swept them onto answers just like she would have of weeks losing what handsomeness his boat by the cuffs of their sleeves. for him. All he wanted was answers. they once considered noble. The And that's when he found her, He reached the door of the doctor mirrors, he had all broken the first RECIPE OF THE WEEK the one who he would love. Black and slowly released his lady to week, to keep him from vanity, and hair, tight lips, and eyes as green as the ground, the largest sacrifice to hide the want on his face from olives that shut before they could he could manage: her so far from himself. Wet and torn his clothes, so fi^art even grace his own. He thought her him. The wait is what truly killed clean and white hers. He bathed her dead. She must be dead; he could him. Waiting for answers. But with a damp cloth to keep her from hardly hear her breathe. But he had not from the doctor, from her. the thing he had swept her from. Shaped to try, that's all that could be asked The doctor had opened the door The thing he broke next was of him he thought. If he could take that day, relieved the boy to tell penultimate from the last. He her to shore as fast as he could there him that his fair girl was still alive broke the boat, leaving her only pizza was no way that people could ever only in a deep coma, a deep sleep momentarily. The fire was low say that he never tried for love. he said from the shock of the cool and the sheen from her skin had So he sailed onto shore- the one waves from which she thrashed. grown dull one night from the cold, Tabitha Schaub thing that was ever constant- more The boy was told to feed her, he another fear of his from the past of Features Editor constant than the subtle flow that was told to change her, he was told her; when she was still here in the ebbed the water from the moon to exercise her. So that day he took land ofthe wake. The thing that gave I am a huge pizza lover, I like this recipe because its super drawn tide. He rode such waves her home and laid her on his bed. him his prosperity, his popularity, easy to follow and because it's pizza it's a favorite for almost And so he sat there that day, his wealth. The thing that gave to his constant, his land, in hopes anyone, and can be customized for every occasion. that he could salvage what love the world on his bed, its bosom him pleasure, that gave him wind, he could from such a beauty. swelling up and down with each that nurtured him, replaced by the And salvage her he did. He reached subconscious breath. He stared at silhouette of a lady from the sea. He Ingredients that mighty, shore in time to see her for a full two hours, the pail skin broke the stern, the hull, the mast. Pizza dough (homemade or store-bought) her face as constant as his land. As regaining colour being so near the Chopping each with a steadfast a\ Pizza sauce constant and still, as the frozen ice passionate fire that was consuming that did not shine from the moon- Mozzarella cheese he envied that clung to the sand felt the wood faster than his questions. dull as his spirit. Holding his face shores, this curiously cold winter. The skin so delicate, so pure, if taut, holding his ax, holding the air Pepperoni (or whichever pizza toppings you prefer) What made it more curious to only he could touch it and not be dry in his chest. him, as he carried the frozen beauty consumed himself. The wood would be good, it Directions through the brown and dying reeds, He had been to church many times would help her he reasoned, and 1. Form dough into heart shapes - you can use cookie sand grinding and sticking to his and heard of the dread; one man looking at the boat now- it in pieces cutters or get a stencil and cut the dough yourself could have, if he let himself slip into at his feet, the shards and splinters boots, was how such a beauty came 2. Put on pizza sauce, desired toppings, and cheese to be- drowning in the ocean. How temptation, if he so slowly crept off ground into the damp sand that did she get there? Who had dropped the garden path to the bush that froze to his heels he angered. 3. Bake in the oven - follow the directions on her off? Who had forgotten her? was so strange and inviting. The Questions swept through his mind the box for store bought dough. Usually its baked Was she forgotten, or just left? Too clothing she wore was transparent again, more furious than the last until the dough is lightly brown and the cheese is melted. many questions to have when the from the moisture ofthe ocean, and and he marched. He marched one with answers was so cold. was gaining it's thickness from the back to the house that housed her. drying of the fire. Back through the sand, back If you make them smaller you can avoid the hassle of cutting He continued to push through them and they can be served as h'our dourves at house parties. the reeds making it finally to the He wished to change her so that through the reeds, back through yellowing grass full of sinkholes; she could be warmer but temptation the town, to the place he made her Enjoy! 8 Horoscopes The Meliorist February 8, 2007 Val£ntin£§ ©ay Top 10

Tabitha Schaub Features Editor

Valentines day is, in my opinion, one of the more over-rated holidays in our calendar year. I used to get swept up in all the notions of the holiday; chocolate, hearts, romance, love, etc But now I am starting to think that its not as Aries - There is a powerful force that cover is about to blow. Make sure romantic as it is made up to be. seems to be working against you you don't hit anyone when the lid Let's face it, when you hear about a today, but realize that you indeed goes flying off. have the power to produce a Valentine's day proposal you can't help but think that it's a little bit cliche. All the people positive outcome. Use this conflict to Libra - Use today's powerful energy that are without significant others are made find balance in an unstable situation to cut through to the heart of the to feel as though they are less significant and try not to rock the boat too matter and strip away the facade for being without. And for those of you that much with your superiors. Consider that is currently doing more harm declare a night of "anti-Valentine's" with your enrolling in a class or seeking out a than good. Take a controlling buddies, know deep down that you really just path of spirituality. role in the situation at hand and don't want to be alone. let your needs be known. You Taurus- People may seem especially will find that your daily life will So I thought that it might be a good idea to insensitive to your feelings today, improve tremendously when you bring some humour to the event (with hel p but try not to get down on them from the 'Net), in the hopes that single people communicate your needs. Top 10 Signs for it. You may feel a sudden urge and couples can enjoy the day for what it that no one wants to be your valentine to act out in a physical manner, Scorpio - Try not to get blown off is, Wednesday February 14th, nothing that which is fine, provided you do it in a special about it. course by the fire that seems to be 10. Phone sex operators keep hanging up on constructive way. Open your mind raging on around you. Ultimately, you up from the cage it has been sitting you know what is right and wrong, Top 10 Things 9. FOX is starting a new show about you: in and get some perspective on so don't compromise yourself or NOT to Say on Valentines Day "America's Least Wanted" your life. your sense of pride. Control what 8. You get a heart-shaped box filled with angry you can, but don't worry about 10. "Hurry up or we'll be late for dinner at hornets Gemini - Go for the gusto today. situations you can't. Denny's." Nothing can stop you. You have 9. "Roses? Do you have any idea how much 7. The babes just don't seem to go for your home-made Star Trek uniform got a tremendous amount of Sagittarius - Lash up your bootstraps those cost?" 6. You're taking private tutorials with Jocelyn power at your disposal today, so and go in for the kill today. You are 8. "Now, don't eat all that candy. It'll go use it wisely. You can accomplish in a terrific position to make some straight to your ass." Elders a great deal, and make extremely strong and lasting impressions on 7. "I got you this card because the cow on it 5. You have one of them handsome Ito beards positive transformations in your life. others and any sort of group work is reminded me of you." - and you're a woman! Make sure to share the enthusiasm especially favored. Initiate action in 6. "Mom, Dad, this is Killer. I met him in a 4. The last time you got laid was during the you exude with others. the places where issues seem to be prison chat room." Eisenhower administration stagnating. 5. "What do you mean the Super 8 isn't 3. You spend your vacation chasin' lizards Cancer - You may have the sense romantic?" 2. The Pope asks you for tips on celibacy that something is going on around Capricorn -Your fluid, emotional 4. "Give me a break, those aren't real." l.You ain't a Gingrich, but your nickname's you that you just cannot seem nature may seem revved up for 3. "Let me play you a nice love song on my "Newt" to grab a hold of. Your mind is action today, although it could be accordion." bouncing this way and that, as that you don't know what direction 2. "I met my last girlfriend at a wild Star Trek Oh and did I mention that my birthday is the though you were watching a bail to drive in. Try to key into the areas in convention." day before? Maybe that's why it never seems at a tennis match. Things may be your life that need major overhaul. 1. "Shoot, was that today?" to live up to the 'awesomeness' that everyone changing rapidly around you, and Look to transform those areas for else tries to make it. Happy Valentines Day! you may feel as if it is time for you to the better. Initiate the action, or else jump on the bandwagon as well. you may find yourself being acted upon. Leo - An opposing person or situation may be rearing its head at you Aquarius - There is a tremendous today. Realize that you can draw amount of power at your disposal on the same energy that is causing today, and you should take care them to act, and state your point and use it wisely. You have the of view for the record. Sometimes ability to make an extremely strong it is necessary to be a bit rough impression on people today, so think and outspoken in order to provide before you act. If not used properly, peace and balance in an unstable this energy can manifest as an situation. accident or something unhealthy.

Virgo - Today is a great day for Pisces - There may be a big conflict transformation, and your actions in your life that you seem almost have more deep and inner meaning powerless to control at this time. than usual. People might be rubbing It may feel like a war is raging on you the wrong way, making you teel around you and all you want is for Beware the Vampirates like you are a pot of water on a hot it to stop. Take responsibility for your plate. The heat is turned up and the actions and step up to the plate. found on board, and such crimes are not well By Robin Drain looked-upon by the Canadian government. Meliorist Contributor Meanwhile, the captain's hired assassin, Ira Robertson, is closing in on the group—when Have your timbers ever been shivered by he's not getting chewed out by his wife, that BIGEL Johnny Depp lurching around with eyeliner is. Have I mentioned that every one of these and you thought to yourself, "this would be a characters is a vampire? Hassan himself lot cooler if they all drank blood"? Search no is a dark-haired hero with a Robin Hood further, because "Vampirates" is here. complex and a chipper disposition that goes Set in Eastern Canada (and steadily making unhindered by the darker shadows of his past, its way westward), "Vampirates" follows a perfect foil to the much more disillusioned The doctor is in and is open late Toronto native Hassan Qasim in his quest Murphy. to enact revenge on the Last Saskatchewan With writing like that of "Vampirates," no • Physicians accepting n^patients Pirate-yes, just like the song. Captain .John webcomic could go wrong, but Jones goes for Allan (better known as "Tractor Jack") wants the gold with her clean, anime-style linear! • Evening clinics Hassan dead for unknown reasons, and the filled with boys prettier than Keira Knightley dashing pirate is not going to take such an in a tricom. It's an unexpectedly sophisticated • Walk-in patients at Superstore location insult sitting down. level of artwork for a comic so young, and fans He enlists the help of the ill-tempered, black- can only hope that their good fortune will not clad Newfoundlander Patrick Murphy—also run out and "Vampirates" will not fall by the like the song (folk fans may have heard of wayside. •The Night Pat Murphy Died;" Murphy is still The result is a deadly combination of art, rather bitter about the whole occasion). inic East wit, engaging storytelling, and enticing Together they commandeer a ferry off the Bigelow Fowler Clinic \4t«gt , Bigelow Fowler Clinic characters. Unashamedly Canadian, quirky 30 Jerry Potts Blvd. \N* per*tore 1605^th Avenue South coast of Newfoundland with plans to ride it in eveiy way, ifyou read nothing else in the Phone 381-1*444 ,n. z„..*u A DUone J27-3121 up the St. Lawrence River to Thunder Bay, vast plain of the Internet this semester, take OPfN 'MO AM $:3Q PM OPEN Wit WUAYS but hurdles arise in the form of a newly-bitten the time to read "Vampirates." I VIM vi. ( 'INK MON IH.JKS . OPfN II:.ill AM •.:'«> MM H.

*

(if i JTEVEH foo &mu.y ito $#y i LOVE, yooi)

23

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Hearts Candy Roses Pink Romance Red Honey Chocolates Candles Cards Cupid Love 10 TLFs The Meliorist February 8, 2007

Submit your TLF's to [email protected] or visit our website at www.themeliorist.com All TLF's must be submitted via a valid uleth account. Keep in mind that slanderous or offensive TLF's may be edited or omitted. TLF's must be submitted by Sunday afternoon for the following Thursday's edition of The Meliorist. Superfluous TLF's will be held until the next issue.

Happy 21st birthday Dallas with the number of computers in the nizzle, what you sizzle? fo'shizzle Hey Jay and Kyle... Say goodbye often! lots of love from your fiancee library and the quality of services dizzle. to sex... at least you have an Lisa at this school have stayed the excuse... unlike Sunny When did politeness go out the EXACT SAME?! F the Oilers! To: Jim, Buck and window? Jessica is never coming to a Derek From: Chad Does anyone else think that Portuguese family dinner again! To the guy and girl in child hockey sux? cuz i do!! To J V - stop submitting song lyrics, development on MWF, just shut To Myke "with a 'y'" - awesome they won't get in. Props to the Student's Union for up and listen! Or at least whisper job at the Blarney's Kareoke!! To the 2 girls and 1 guy in the front getting your website out of the when you talk! So annoying. row of Christianity. Shut up. If you Since U-pass failed I can stone-age! Pudding and pie! Since when is asking for help in want to talk and read Cosmo rant about the stoplight on I think the English language is a course such a crime? It seems magazine, don't come to class. campus. Why doesn't it flash Benny Benassi is a genius... beautiful and take offense to like we can't get help in physl 050 late at night? And why is there anyone who says otherwise. Pttt. no matter who we ask! If we ask Thankx to the guy who helped a raised sidewalk still? I thought I luv the new website. Note** the wrong person, they slam the me get my car door open when we were smarter than this. ignore the haters. To: you, From: me - HI!!!! door in our face! it was frozen shut. I wanted to hug you! My name is not Monica, I don't Holy peanut buffer Batman! Handshake protocol activated: Valnetine's Day is the tutor math or stats, and I won't Silent Cartographer is hot. reincarnation of Satan in Nerdy New Media Kid replying to return your calls, so stop calling JP- You are wasting my Oxygen. prepare for hard landing. Hallmark form last papers TLF. Could be fun. me!!! You disgust me more than eating Ordained Puma will meet you at the waste from a dead, bloated, landing zone. You want a nerd, I'll be your nerd. Dear Ben, are you single?? I Did you hear about the guy who week old cow. PK If you wish to be swept off your had an amazing time sitting with read the phone book?! He said Dear Blonde girl waitress from feet, I'll gladly take a 20 on the you and talking to you at These there were a lot of characters wat the hell? CKXU; Lethbridge The Zoo, you make my day, trip check. mkalll337@hotmail. Proportions are Epic. I'm really but not plot...haha. public interest (wuts dat?); health everyday. Thanks. com into you. Do you want to go out centre insurance fee (i dont even sometime? - V To the redhead in the back of the use dat place). Yet they r all in Short people in cubicles are just Seeking steak, sausage, bacon, class in Stats 1770A, We all we all MY tuition!!! This is robbery. as much of a tease as small cars chicken, fish eaters across the To the social rejects who don' t see know that you got 13% on your in the parking lot! campus. Join me and we'll take the harm in sniffling all through last test...now DROP the class.. Logic 1000 - Anyone else as over the world, one delicious class. Why don't you try using a confused as me?? I want to rip "Work it harder, make it better, animal at a time, veal.tastes. kleenex like you were taught at To the jackasses who sit in the my hair out. do it faster, makes us stronger; [email protected] age 2. You people disgust me. front of Rel2500. Shut the f*ck up More than ever hour after, hour before I jump over the desk and Shake it like a Salt Shaker.. work is never over." To the person looking for a "cute Buzz, your girlfriend...WOOF!!! beat you. nerdy boy": are you a cute nerdy Hey O, when is our library study Gold jacket, green jacket, who girl? Or are you just looking to pull Congrats to the current U of The servers at the zoo rule! They session? gives a s*it??? a mean prank (shame on you if L women's hockey team for are friendly and take alot of crap this is the case)? Brought to you beating the Alumni 5-4 Sunday. that would not happen at other How come as student enrollment S-N- Double O-P D-O-Double by the man who thinks all men Way to show some supremacy. pubs, so lay off. They are servers and tuition fees have gone up, Gizzee... izzle kizzile, fo'shizzle, my should learn where the clitoris is. P.S. Your coach should ref more not servants. m Talk Vbur Way to the § $

SUi^iiiiakhr ^"aaaflaaaa**. JaaaatjaaRP aaWaW I February 9-10,2007

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school-style dance party featuring a Miller Valentines Day concert at By Amy Dewar plethora of local acts starting at 8:45 7:00 p.m. p.m. Bruon loeuien Entertainment Editor Lethbridge Public Library Tell us a bit about yourself: What do you like most about Tongue n Groove "The Devil's Dream: A film My name is Bryan, and I do the CKXU? February brings with it a variety Washboard Hank at 9:00 p.m. about Guatemala" will be punk show on Fridays from 1:30 to I like CKXU because it gives of occasions, both positive and showing at 7:00 p.m. Afterwards 3:00 pm. I'm 17, and am graduating Lethbridge some taste. Instead of negative depending on your outlook Crime and Punishment: there will be a discussion session from LCI this year. I hope to go to playing the same top forty junk over on life. Between Valentines Day, Appropriation and Intellectual led by Dr. Jamie McKenzie of the the University next year, but who and over and over, we play EVERY midterms and reading week there is Property - a lecture by visiting Anthropology department. knows what will happen, I may take genre of music out there, steering plenty to both rejoice and cry about. artist Shawn Van Sluys at This film explores ethnic and class a year off but university will be very away from the ever so popular Top Lucky for all of us, there are many 12:00 in the recital hall at the tensions in Guatemala, near the end enriching, and I love to learn so Forty music. It gives people a taste distractions available to us. With the university of Lethbridge. of that country's 30 year civil war. hopefully I can. My show is mostly of what is out there in a musical aforementioned distractions we can It closely documents the roots of punk rock, with Indie, Hardcore, create a nice separation between our economic and political oppression, sense. February ioth Emo, Pop punk, any genre of what personal space and school/work. with attention to the burgeoning you kids call punk is on my show What do you have to say The CKXU fundrive is now kicking The Slice Bar and Grill civil society movement, which usually, with the odd techno set or to anyone interested in it into high gear, creating much fun Deon Blyan and Matt Allen and played a key role in bringing the two. volunteering at CKXU? in the process, so be sure to check the Little Buddies at 9.00 p.m. armed conflict to an end in 1996. out some of their events! Centered on the political murder Ifyou are interested in volunteering Why did you choose to Tongue n Groove of a poor Maya subsistence farmer, at CKXU, that would be pretty rad, volunteer at CKXU? Little Miss Higgins at 9:00 p.m. the film presents a diverse range I like fresh, and fresh likes me so I chose to volunteer at CKXU I'm pretty sure we'd get along ifyou February 8th of perspectives—from powerful military and economic elites, because I've always wanted to be were to volunteer at the station. If on the radio! Just something that music is an important part of your The Slice Bar and Grill to religious, student and ethnic February uth has always interested me, it makes life, then give it a shot What have Thursday night blues jam hosted by leaders and movements. The voice me feel like a total celebrity. Just you got to lose? The Slice Bar and Grill of criticism comes through sharply Texas Flood at 9:00 p.m. kidding. But not really. I love to Open stage with Tom Dooley at in the presentation of the Dance of share ray music with others as well What are your top -five Tongue n Groove 4:00 p.m. the 24 Devils, a traditional religious as at the same time broaden my albums? Geoff Berner and Kris pageant which serves as a vehicle for musical horizons, and CKXU has My top five albums right now are: Demeanor at 9:00 p.m. protest and expression of injustice. been a great way for me to do that. 5. Senses Fail - Let it Enfold You February 13th The grand opening for the Health At the end of such a busy week, 4. The Fully Down - Get Lost In a Does your experience at and Wellness Centre is happening Dr. David Townsend will be why not write an article about your Movement CKXU make you want to do at 7:00 p.m. Entertainment includes giving a lecture titled "The Primacy experiences? E-mail e.editor@ 3. Funeral For a Friend - Hours com mercial radio? Ian Tyson, Susan Aglukark, of Teaching in a Liberal Arts themeliorist.com for more details! 2. Ladytron - Seventeen I would love to do commercial the U of L Steel Band and University* from 12:00 - 1:00 p.m. and my ultimate favorite album radio, if it paid well. Here it does the University of Lethbridge in room L1170 in the world is drum roll not. Commercial radio sounds Singers. February please! glamorous though, and it would be 1. The Misfits - Famous Monsters fun. I want to do something that February 14th February Qth ACTUALLY benefits society though, like be a teacher, so that is the route The Slice Bar and Grill The Slice Bar and Grill that I plan on taking. CKXU LOVES YOU! A high Tod Robinson and Shaela #rH The Lethbridge PAW Society Pool Tournament & Silent Auction Sunday, Feb.J..I MIRA Dramatherapy otz Billiard Club Motivation, Inspiration, Revelation, Action I 120 - 2nl Create Meaningful Living Doors open at 12:00 noon, registration starts at 12:30 and the tournament begins at 1:00 P.M. Live a Vibrant Life Participants can register before or on the day of the tournament at Shotz; the registration fee is www.lethbridgelink.com/mira $25. Pizza will be available to players, and prizes will be awarded. All proceeds go to charity.

For further information, contact Diane at 329-8192 or Joan at 732-5708 Or email [email protected] February 8, 2007 The Meliorist Entertainment 13 Joan of Arc and the Lar^ Mao the monster political manipulator with an innate genius By David Moscrop Press Release for the battlefield? Or was she truly guided The Fulcrum (University of Ottawa) by her faith and an unseen hand? Imagine, Uncompromising faith, charismatic a 17-year-old peasant girl in the early 1400s OTTAWA (CUP) - It was once suggested "If leadership, political compromise and betrayal with no education, no status, and no military you go carryin' pictures of Chairman Mao, were all part ofthe life of Joan of Arc and The training manages to convince the uncrowned you ain't gonna make it with anyone anyhow." Lark by Jean Anouilh, the third mainstage French King Charles VII to give her his army, Now we can see why. production of the Department of Theatre and which she then leads to victory over the In "Mao: The Unknown Story", authors Jung Dramatic Arts at the University Theatre Feb. British forces." Joan undertook this seemingly Chang and Jon Halliday present a detailed 13 to 17 at 8 pm. impossible task based on instructions from and lucid portrait ofthe man who ruled China The play, which covers the trial, heavenly "Voices," which told her to rescue for 30 years, and who was responsible for over condemnation, and execution of Joan of Arc, her homeland from the British. 70-million peacetime deaths: Mao Zedong. has a highly unusual ending. Joan recalls Historically, the course of events is quite The book presents a well-researched, important events in her life as she is questioned stunning. "You have to admire the strength chronological exploration of Mao's life that Detailed biography of Mao paints and subsequently condemned to death. The of Joan's convictions, her uncompromising deflates much of the myth surrounding his chilling picture of elusive chairman play, an interesting mix of historical fact faith, her unrelenting commitment, and all reign, which Mao himself worked hard to and quasi-dream sequences, is told from two that she accomplished in a very, very short create. It presents the chairman as a paranoid, never meandering. However, the strength of viewpoints - as a piece of history where those time," says Parkinson. petulant realist whose pragmatism and the book is weakened by too much detail. The who wished to vanquish Joan unwittingly This is a challenging play to stage and this thirst for power trumped any loyalty to the narrative is often stretched too far in order to created a martyr who became a symbol of production has not been set in the traditional "communism" he helped to force on China in get at some specific criticism of Mao. courage and faith, and Joan's own perspective time-frame of 1430. It has been placed out 1949. While this oft-employed manoeuvre does about all that was happening. of time because what happens in the play The Mao that emerges in this book is nothing not stray from the topic of any chapter or "The Lark is a beautifully written play. The could happen at any time or place. The cast short of monstrous. Callous and indifferent to section, it needlessly draws out the book's language is at once powerful and rich and is large with 35 actors. At the centre of the the suffering and death of millions, Mao used length. Some ofthe detail presented is merely delicate and precise. It is a highly moving story is the triangular relationship of church, the lives of soldiers and civilians as pawns in a means to an end, incriminating Mao further piece with an abundance of the nuance that state and the individual in the form of three the chess game of his own power grab. by presenting each of his crimes in grim makes for highly effective dramatic moments" characters the French Bishop Cauchon, Mao is shown to be an intelligent leader, a poor specificity. says Director Brian Parkinson. "It is ultimately portrayed by dramatic arts major Tyson solider, and a pensive poet who was disliked by The book fails to provide sufficient context about betrayal ~ about collaboration and Trachsel; the English Earl, Warwick played almost all who worked with him. Nonetheless, and depth in two key areas: the socio-historical the ethics and morality of right and wrong by Scott Williams (BFA/BEd '05); and Joan he worked incessantly to shape the world context of China at the time of Mao's birth, and political expediency. Joan was willing of Arc played by dramatic arts major Yvonne to his own will, defying orders, lying, and and insight into Mao's psychology. to give her life for Charles VII but once she Maendel. "The role of Joan is surely one ofthe manipulating in order to achieve power. Once The work could have benefited from less had secured for him the French crown, he most challenging female roles in the theatre," Mao gained power, the monstrous behaviour detail of Mao's crimes and more of a focus on effectively 'sold' her to the English and washed says Parkinson. did not stop: indeed it got worse through what allowed this man to emerge, as well as his hands of her." The title of the play comes from Warwick's systematic terror, abuse, and murder. the deeper psychological reasons for which Jean Anouilh's motivation for writing the comments about Joan. "The girl was a lark The book is written in a clear and accessible Mao pursued his sinister and destructive play was the specter, during World War II, of in the skies of France, high over the heads of style with limited jargon and the helpful use path. Vichy France's collaboration with Germany. her soldiers, singing a joyous, crazy song of of abbreviations. The structure of the book is Ultimately, the book is worth the effort. "Anouilh saw startling parallels between the courage. There she was, outlined against the also clear and helpful, broken into six sections Although it is perhaps unnecessarily long at events in occupied France and the betrayal of sun, a target for everybody to shoot at, flying ranging from Mao's birth in 1893 (part one) 801 pages, the generally clear style and brisk Joan of Arc by her King. In both cases there straight and happy into battle." to his death in 1976 (part six). Each section pace make for a reasonable and informative was a disturbing willingness to trade souls Tickets are $15 regular and $9 student/ is then subdivided into chapters based on read. and ideals for peace," says Parkinson. senior at the U of L Box Office 329-2616. significant events in Mao's life and listed by The reader is left with a better understanding Parkinson is fascinated by the multi- The complimentary shuttle bus transports both date and by Mao's age at the time. of how modern China came to be, and lingering faceted Joan of Arc. "Was she simply guided concertgoers from the north parking lot to the Perhaps the book's most notable strength is questions about the kind of world that allowed by faith? Or was she an inspired and astute theatre entrance. its pace and delivery. The narrative moves Mao to control the lives of so many people forward coherently and at a steady pace, while committing such atrocities. Wal-Town: The Real Truth? By Kevin Wemple before answering with an exclaimed "yes it DRINK UP THE WEEK! Meliorist Contributor is!" It was funny at the time. But some of the experiences weren't quite so jovial. When they On Thursday, Feb. 1, an advocate group got to British Columbia one of the advocates showed their film "Wal-Town" at the Galileo revealed how broke and miserable he was and lounge located in the Students Union how he just wanted to go back home. Building. After this part of the film the group, When I first heard of this film I didn't know disappointed with the lack of results, decides just what kind of film to this would be. Would to be more aggressive in their efforts the it be a 'we should all hate Wal-Mart because it's following year, which comprises the second Wal-Mart' film' wherein few, if any, facts are and final part ofthe film. presented and only accusations and emotional To this end they decide to bring on board arguments are given? Would it be a film that another member who had experience in that is full of facts, but all of them completely sort of thing. This time the group holds various negative and giving a one-sided argument? Or demonstrations ranging from barbeques would it be a balanced approach; a film that to skits, many of which had an element of presents both sides of the story allowing the humour - sometimes intentional, sometimes viewer to make up their own mind about just not. During this time the film gives us updates what the truth really is? from the previous year, such as the closure Unfortunately, to my dismay and of the store in Quebec, and presents clips of disappointment, this film turned out to be the other interviews the group conducted. ' type I first describe. A director's commentary ends the film after The film opens with the director introducing which the advocates held a Q & A session. himself and telling the story of how he hooked For the most part the questions were just up with the activists who planned the cross clarifications of certain elements of the film, country trip. He talks about how he initially or about what local advocates could do in MONDAYS THURSDAYS wants to take a balanced approached to avoid order to stop Wal-Mart from opening any MINI JUG MADNESS WITH PILSNER THURSDAYS WITH alienating the future viewers of this film. To more stores, et cetera. But something was said this end he travels to Wal-Mart's Canadian during the Q & A that really got my attention. $4.00 MINI JUGS OF DRAFT $3.00 BOTTLES OF PIL head office located in Toronto in order to The advocates admitted they believed the interview one of their executives. Parts of current economic system was broken and this interview are peppered throughout the needed to be fixed. In a nutshell they admit movie. their attack on Wal-Mart was simply a means WEDNESDAYS FRIDAYS The group decides they also don't want to to an end and only picked Wal-Mart for the COORS LIGHT WEDNESDAYS THANK GOD IT'S RYEDAY alienate any future viewers or the people sole reason it is the largest retailer in the world. They also admit their knowledge of WITH $3.00 COORS LIGHT (T.G.I.R.) WITH $2.00 OZ OF they'll be talking to on what is revealed as the first of a two year trip. For the first trip Wal-Marts in Canada was greatly lacking. BOTTLES, NIGHTLY PRIZE HOUSE RYE AND $3.00 OZ OF from Quebec to British Columbia the group As a result the information they gave the DRAWS AND $0.15 WINGS CROWN ROYAL travels from town to town, stopping at local people in the film was based on Wal-Marts Wal-Marts and handing out fliers describing in the States. However, the group did present various violations the advocates accuse Wal- a solution to the economics problem: Wal- Mart of committing. During this part of the Mart should use part of its profits to pay their film many of the group's experiences are employees more. shown to US. Some of these received rounds While this would work initially the problem Located in Lethbridge Lodge Hotel and Conference Centre of laughter, such as one interview with a unfortunately is this would only help fuel www.lethbridgelodge.com | 320 Scenic Drive | Lethbridge teenaged local where the guy states Wal-Mart inflation which in turn would force prices to Call 331.6914 | Closed Tuesdays & Sundays is the best because of how large they are. rise and also cause the poverty line to rise then When the group confront bun with the fact it ending with the employees being right back takes more than size to be' tWbe$t.-h£iiesifates where they started." -"'•" " X -— ~*l ... 14 Entertainment The Meliorist February 8, 2007 Student film festival No parental guidance here 'This Film Is Not Yet Rated' takes aim at movie-rating body exceeds expectations By Radheyan Simonpillai What Everyone Should Know The Underground continued on rather smoothly. Films shown (University of Toronto, About The Movie Rating System, included "Shades of grey" by Matt Mcintyre, Scarborough) James Albiez, Kevin Meek and Matt Grindle; GENERAL AUDIENCES Nothing thai VKMld o*Kfli) "Sixty second soulmate" by Matt Babinec; parents foi rt

$12 gets you in, and includes three highballs, DJ, and silent auction.

Tickets available at La Bella Notte.

Presumed by GALIA contact [email protected] fer nere inlenellee. February 8, 2007 The Meliorist Careers 15 JOBS JOBS JOBS Career & Employment Services (CES) - Workterm Guides. Terms and (Mar 1) Inspector (Mar 2) DELL, Edmonton - Finance Advisor is a student service office dedicated deadlines: Aug-Dec (Feb 28). Must Camp LG Barnes, Gull Lake - Camp (ASAP) to assisting you with your Job Search be Bilingual. Counsellors FULLTIME Centaur Products Inc., Calgary and Career Planning. We're within PioneerHi-Bred, Edmonton-Summer Brightwood Ranch, Evansburg (These are not part of On Campus - Project Administrator (ASAP) the Career Resources Centre in B610, Research Assistants (Feb 9) - Program Director Out Trip Recruitment. Positions will start Independent Counselling Services along with Applied Studies and the DynAgra, Beiseker, Caresland or Coordinator; Senior counselors; fairly soon. The newest positions (ICE), Southern AB - Roommate Management and Arts & Science Standard - Seasonal Agronomist Wrangler Nurse and others (asap) are generally at the top and the Companion & Relief (ASAP) Cooperative Education programs. (Feb 12) Standard General Inc., Calgary deadlines are in brackets. ASAP HEC Montreal - Professors (Jun 1) CRC office hours are 9am - 12pm Mosaic, Lethbridge-Field Marketing - Construction Labourer (May 31) means they may hire the first Wilde & Company, Vegreville - and 1pm - 4pm Monday-Friday. and Sales (Mar 4) The Mega Yacht Vacation Co., qualified applicant so don't wait!) Articling Student (ASAP) Caribbean & Mediterranean - Crew CBC, Calgary- Regional Comptroller Go to our website for more detailed PART-TIME Member (May 30) BC Grain Producers, Dawson Creek, (ASAP) information on our services: www. Soular Siviculture Ltd., Fernie - Field BC - Research Technician (Feb 12 Talisman Centre, Calgary-Customer uleth.ca/ross/ Picture Butte Golf Course Golf Positions (Mar 15) by 9am) Service Representative (ASAP) Shop Staff (Mar 1) Integrated Informatics, Calgary BP Canada Energy Co., Calgary Nova Scotia Agricultural College Some of our services include: Green Acres Foundation -GIS Internship (Apr 1) - Gas Marketing Accountant (Feb. - Graduate Student Assistantships Maintenance Assistant (Feb 16) West Country Oilfield Services, 11) (Feb 28) CES JOBS ONLINE!!! ....with Independent Counselling Services Drayton Valley - Herbicide DOW Agro Sciences, MB (Winnipeg Allstate Insurance Company of WorkopolisCampus.com - part- (ICE), Southern AB - Roommate Applicator, Office Records Personnel, area) & AB (Edmonton area) - Canada - Agents (ongoing) time, summer, full-time, international Companion & Relief (ASAP) Environmental Driller Helper (Mar Contract Research Assistant in Plant SwiftTrade Inc., Calgary - Stock and volunteer! You can check Hull Child & Family Services, Calgary - 15) Genetics (Feb 28) Trader Trainee (ongoing) postings 24 hours a day, seven Live-in Counsellor for Interdependent Ducks Unlimited Canada, NWT United Rentals, Inc., branch locations Parliamentary Information and days a week, from the comfort Living Services (ongoing) - Research Crew Leaders & in Us, Canada & Mexico - Sales Research Service of the Library of of your own home or elsewhere Safeway, Lethbridge - Various Technicians (Feb 15) Coordinator (Feb 28) Parliament, Ottawa - Internship on campus. For more information Positions & Locations (ongoing) NWT Recreation & Parks Assoc, NWT Atco Midstream, Calgary - Financial Program (Feb 28) about workopolisCampus.com and Convergys - Lethbridge - Customer - Pool & Waterfront Supervisors (Mar Analyst (In Training) (Feb 9) Vulcan County - Rural Extension how to access the site, come in to Service & Tech. Support Associates 31) Headplay Canada Inc., Calgary Specialist (Feb 15) our office in B610. All of the positions (ASAP) Alberta Biodiversity Monitoring - Intermediate Accountant (March Bodycote Testing Group, Mississauga, listed below can be found on CES Bluefox Association, Lethbridge Program - Field Technicians (Feb 9) 15) ON - NSERC PhD graduate (ASAP) Jobs Online. - Various Vocational and Residential Girl Guides of Canada, Chinook City of Calgary, Calgary - Human EnterpriseRent-A-Car-Management COVER LETTERS & RESUMES -we have Relief Positions (ASAP) Area - Camp Caretaker (ASAP) Resources Representative (Jr.) (Feb Trainee (ongoing) handouts for you or drop in and ask Lethbridge Family Services, Dacapo Alberta's Future Leaders Program 13) London Health Sciences Centre, about getting yours critiqued Program - Various Positions (ASAP) - Youth Worker (Feb 28) City of Calgary, Calgary - Human London, ON - Registered Nurse CAREER COUNSELLING - whether London Health Sciences Centre, Parkland County - Pesticide Resources Representative (Feb 13) (ASAP) you are in your first year or about to London, ON - Various Positions Applicators (Mar 2) SHARE (Shareholders Association for Southwest TV News, Swift Current, graduate, if you are wondering what (ASAP) Parkland County - Weed Inspectors Research & Education), Vancouver, SK - Video Journalist/TV Reporter you can do with your major, if your David Thompson Health Region (Mar 2) BC - Development Officer (Feb 15) (ASAP) career path is the right one for you, - Undergraduate Nurses (Mar 2) Parkland County - Horticulturalist Lucerne, Lethbridge, AB - Associate Alberta Finance, Edmonton or how to go about finding a job, David Thompson Health Region (Mar 2) Supervisor (March 1) Finance Application Analyst (ASAP) come in to make an appointment - Nursing Attendants (Mar 2) Kilmorey Lodge/Aspen Village Inn Gullevin International, Various Southland Trailer Corp., Lethbridge with a Career Counsellor! Juice Fare, UofL Students' Union - Various Positions (ASAP) Locations (AB, Canada) Sales/Marketing Assistant EMPLOYER INFORMATION SESSIONS Building - Student Positions (ASAP) Camp Kannawin, Sylvan Lake - Management & Sales Program Management Trainee (ASAP) - watch for upcoming information Kidproof Canada, Lethbridge - Child Camp Counsellor (Mar 31) (March 31) Lakeside Research, Brooks session dates in the Meliorist, on our Safety Instructor (Feb 2) Wynchemna, Calgary or Vancouver North Peace Community Resources Laboratory Technician (ASAP) board on the 6th level of UHall, and Talisman Centre, Calgary - Customer - ESL Instructors (Feb 15) Society, Fort St. John, BC - Sexual Syncrude Canada Ltd., Edmonton your email! Service Representative (ASAP) Caterpillar Financial Services Ltd., Abuse Intervention Counselor (Feb - Analytical Chemistry Internship UNIVERSITY & COLLEGE CALENDARS YWCA, Lethbridge - Youth Support Calgary- Finance Intern (ASAP) 26) (Feb 16) - come to out office to look through Counsellors (ASAP) Yukon Geological Survey, North Peace Community Resources Talisman Centre, Calgary-Customer calendars from across Canada, Saskatchewan Watershed Authority, Whitehorse, YK - Geology Field Society, Fort St. John, BC - Clinical Service Representative (ASAP) some U.S. and international Regina -Technical Assistant, Nursery Assistants (Mar 1) Therapist, Children's Mental Talisman Centre, Calgary - Cashier calendars. 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We're here to help Canadian Food Inspection Agency - Summer Curator/Interpreter (Mar positions and Inbound Call Centre IRM Systems - Customer Service you! - Primary Inpsectors - (Feb 16) 15) Representatives (Feb 28) Representatives (Feb 23) Saskatchewan Watershed Authority, Easter Seals Camp Horizon, Bragg Randstad Work Solutions, Calgary, Young Canada Works, Regina - UP-COMING INFORMATION So SK - Terrestrial and Aquatic Creek - Various positions (Mar 1) AB - Staffing Consultant (Feb 28) Researcher/Writer (ASAP) Biological Technicians - Field Alberta's Central and Northern Alberta Blue Cross, Edmonton, AB Mediation and Restorative Justice Research (Feb 28) Provincial Historic Sites - Historical - Group Underwriter (Feb 9) Centre, Edmonton - Multicultural FRITO LAY CANADA Nature Conservancy, Lethbridge, Interpreters (ASAP) Alberta Blue Cross, Edmonton, AB Community Education Project Wednesday, February 28,h Calgary, Edmonton and Waterton Outland Reforestation Inc., Quebec, - Product Analyst - Group Product Facilitator (ASAP) TBA, Booth in Atrium - Conservation Intern (Feb 26) Ontario, Manitoba, Alberta - Tree Management (Feb 9) Fastenal, Various Locations Hedy Canada, Calgary - Marketing/ planters (Mar 31) Pinnacle Search Group (DHL), Industrial Sales (ASAP) SUNNYSIDE HOME & GARDEN Administrative Assistant (Mar 2) Ace Vegetation Control Service Calgary, AB - Inside Sales Wednesday, March 21 & Thursday, Dow AgroSciences, Calgary - Ltd., Western Canada - Vegetation Representative and also Sales GOVERNMENT OF CANADA March 22 Summer Sales Assistant (Feb 9) Management Technician/Crew Executive postions (Feb 22) (Public Service Commission of 10-4pm, Booth in Atrium Dinosaur Provincial Park Leaders (Feb 16) BodyPrint Inc., Calgary - Personal Canada) Maintenance Service Worker I (Mar The Banff Centre - Summer Trainer (Mar 31) ON-CAMPUS RECRUITING (OCR. 1) Accounting Assistant (Feb 15) BMO Financial Group, BC, AB, Register with the Federal Student Municipal District of Lesser Slave Crowsnest Pass Ecomuseum Trust ON, QC, SK, NS - Various Positions Work Experience Program (FSWEP) - On-Campus Recruiting is the process River No. 124 - Weed Inspector (Feb Society - Bellevue Mine Interpreters (ongoing) summer and part-time opportunities by which employers recruit students 23) (Feb 10) Home Depot Canada, Various with federal government for full-time and summer positions for HyTech Production Ltd., Lethbridge Alberta Tourism, Parks, Recreation & Locations - Human Resource departments! It's all on jobs.gc.ca NEXT YEAR! Full-time positions can and Kimberly, BC - Production Culture - Travel Counsellor (Feb 28) Managers (ongoing) start any time between January Assistants (ASAP) Alberta Tourism, Parks, Recreation & Mattheis Engineering Ltd., Duchess New Grad recruitment - General and September 2007, while summer Frito-Lay Canada, Lethbridge - Culture - Site Supervisor (Feb 28) - Range Manager (Mar 15) Inventory for Post-Secondary positions generally start in May. Summer Route Sales Representative Talisman Centre, Calgary - Sport Armed Forces - Infantry Officer, Recruitment. There is no deadline, Employers often come to campus to (ASAP) Camp Instructor (Mar 9) Armoured Officer, Artillary Officer, but you must get your name into the conduct their interviews You must Greater Vancouver Regional District Ag Pro, Crossfield, Vulcan, Trochu, Signals Officer (ongoing) Inventory in order to be considered sign up for OCR in CES! (B6I0) Go to - Park Patrollers (Mar 2) Lavoy, Killam - Facility Assistant (Feb Cool Jobs Canada - Hospitality for positions, and you must renew our website: www.uleth.ca/ross/ces Parks Canada, Banff - Lifeguards 9) & Retail positions with various your interest every 60 days. for more information. (Feb 9) Kusler Ranch Ltd., Maple Creek, SK deadlines. Student works Painting - Student -Ranch Hand (Feb 16) Communications Security CES Jobs Online also has volunteer, Summer OCR: Painter (Mar 31); Student Marketer Pioneer Hi-Bred, Lethbridge - Canola Establishment - Various internship and international positions (Apr 30) Roguing Crew Leaders (Feb 16) Coe Newnes McGehee •» Quality posted. Be sure to check the site Juno Beach Centre, France Summit Reforestation - Tree Planters Parkland County - Senior Weed Assurance Tester 1 (ASAP) carefully! 16 Entertainment The Meliorist February 8, 2007

A night to remember song about arguing with a parent, am Mighty, and Change the World, and yes, songs about love. After inspired the audience to clap along, By Chris Hibbard this set, there was a break for and looking around, I saw smiles Photos provided by Grant Cooper®, intermission, and we ushers were and wonder - I saw love. colourdesign & Matt Callbeck back on duty. The show ended the way it began, The second act began with a with just a young man and his When CKXU asked for volunteers continuation ofthe aforementioned guitar, as the dancers switched off to act as ushers for last weeks* skit - involving a proposal of all the lamps. performances of These Proportions marriage and excited acceptance. In talking to some people Are Epic, I offered my services. Then the proportions truly grew to afterwards, the show became I had seen all the posters and epic size. Not only was Fitzgerald even more impressive. The whole was curious. I had never heard of joined by bass, guitar and drums, but performance was nailed down in Michael Bernard Fitzgerald, and he was backed by a ten-piece choir, about two days, Fitzgerald said. He thus had no idea of what the show a full brass ensemble, a handful made sure during the show to thank would be like. of enthusiastic dancers, congas, all those involved. "...To CKXU, After all were seated in the bongos, and other percussion, the SU, and all involved...they all University Theatre, I took a chair at plus a violinist and a piano, played worked a lot harder than I did." the back and settled in. The lights expertly by Music Faculty professor The work paid off. What could have went down and a short comedic Bente Hansen. resulted in a chaotic noisy mess (50 skit informed me that what I was This show was incredible. The plus people working together, 30 of about to see and hear was all about dancers moved around the stage them on stage) was instead a high- love. Then Fitzgerald took the stage, to the music, switching on dozens energy musical masterpiece and a bathed in a spotlight, just a young of small lamps. The choir sang perfect example of teamwork and man and his guitar. wondefully, filling the theatre choreography. His first song, a thoroughly with beautiful melody. The guitars This student-organized and engaging version of Hey 'Ya by complemented each other, the student-produced delight was a Outkast, set the tone for the first half percussionists and bass player labour of love for Fitzgerald, and was of the show. Fitzgerald plays guitar kept nearly-perfect rhythm, and made possible through the financial like Ben Harper and sings like John the piano, violin, and brass section support ofthe Student's Union, and Mayer, a fine combination to my sounded enormous, but never was promoted heavily by CKXU. ears. Alone on the stage, he played overpowered Fitzgerald and his If I hadn't known any better, I seven or eight songs, stripped down lyrics. would have guessed that These and intimate, and touched with a Many ofthe songs he performed can Proportions are Epic was a long- self-deprecating sense of humour. be found on his new album, Black running institution, rehearsed and He played a cover of The and White Phonetics (love.). Songs performed nightly for years. It was Decemberists' Red Right Ankle, a like Black and White Simplicity, I just that good.

CKXU Talent / No-Talent Contest The Slice On Monday night, to kick off CKXU's Fun-Drive week, CKXU volunteers and friends raised their instruments, voices, and beers together all in the name of good fun. The most 'tal­ ented' and 'least talented' are eligible to win prizes, but that really wasn't the point. Between magic tricks, solo vocal performances, country and flamenco music, an imitation of a calf being branded, didgeridoo and drums and a spoken-word rap of Lewis Carroll's Jabberwocky, there was truly a little something for everyone. February 8, 2007 The Meliorist Sports 17 TRACK ATTACK! province and is awarded to the top male and By Ainsley Doty female athlete attending University in Alberta. Sports Editor This scholarship was first established in 2001 during World Track and Field Championships The Lethbridge Track and Field team which were held in Edmonton. Since then, has swiftly moved into heavy competition it has been given out 8 times. Four of those season and have made the transition from scholarships were received by University of preparation to competitive action seamlessly. Lethbridge track athletes. The team consists of 32 athletes from across This past weekend, the U of L hosted its first Western Canada and is led by head coach ever CIS meet. The event was a huge success Larry Steinke. At the first major meet of the with Pronghorn athletes dominating the season against the U of L Golden Bears, the majority of competition. Jim Steacy bettered Pronghorns fared impressively well. Hammer his own CIS record with a toss of 23.04 meters Thrower Jim Steacy beat out James Parker of and now sits 4th in the world. His throw also the USA (Olympian and US national champ). established a new provincial men's record With the win Jim moved into first place in CIS and set the standard for the rest of Canada to rankings. The track and field team as a whole live up to. Sean Steacy came in second in the demonstrated spunk, determination, and weight throw with 16.45 (now ranked 4th in ability. CIS), and Scott Paterson threw 15.37 meters The Pronghorn throwers have put the men's (now ranked 5th in CIS). team into the 9th ranked position in CIS. In the women's, Heather Steacy threw 16.38 Throwers compete in a league of their own, meters for the win and to continue her top CIS while other track teams are compiled of athletes ranking. She will be the woman to beat at the who compete in all other events combined. Canada West Championships. Kerbi McKnight In recent Track and Field news, Jim Steacy threw 14.45 meters and put herself into the was named Athletics Canada's Thrower of the CIS top ten, now sitting in 8th. year while Heather Steacy recently received Tartilie Pernitsky won the women's high the Earl and Countess of Wessex Scholarship. jump with a jump of 1.56 meters (her personal It is the largest scholarship given in the best). She is now ranked 4th in Canada West. 18 Sports The Meliorist February 8, 2007 Horns rally twice for playoff berth

By Joshua Schroeder traffic in front of the U of A goal. Late in the Meliorist Contributor period, Lethbridge successfully killed a 5-on-3 penalty kill followed immediately by another Men's hockey in the Canada West conference minor penalty. continues to roll with its weekly excitement and The second period success converted into surprises. This weekend saw the conference third period control for the Horns. With seven turned on its head, as the top three teams minutes remaining, Sorochan made a big mustered a single win between them. Perhaps glove save on Norrie to keep the game within the biggest upset of the weekend took place at reach for the Bears. Costanzo also had several Clare Drake Arena in Edmonton, where the U cracks at sealing the game with a minute left, of L Pronghorns swept their two game series but Sorochan again kept the difference to one. against the two time defending CIS champion, Steve Zmudczynski capped the Pronghorn the U of A Golden Bears. The series marked victory with seven seconds remaining, hitting the first time in a dozen years that the Bears the empty net to complete the 3-1 U of L were swept at home, and the first Pronghorn victory. win in Edmonton since 1999. The Bears were anxious for revenge on The weekend did not begin positively for Saturday evening, and started the game the Horns, however. Twenty-eight seconds quickly once again. The first two U of A shots into Friday's game, Mark Ashton got things of the game found their way past Brandon rolling for the Bears, firing a slap shot past Highton. Another U of A goal on a delayed Blake Ward. Seven minutes later, Ward penalty would leave the Horns in a 3-0 hole corner from close range. Shortly after, Justin the Pronghorn bench erupted in celebration came up big, stopping a Golden Bear chance only six minutes into the game. Midway Cruse would take a pass from Jay Lanager of the surprise sweep over the conference's with the paddle of his stick to keep the Horns through the first, Coach Greg Gatto opted to and fire a point shot through Sorochan's legs top team. Jay Langager was named the first within one. Throughout the first period, change things up by replacing Highton with to even the score at three apiece. The Golden star of both games on the weekend; the U of Alberta generated numerous good scoring Blake Ward. The goaltending change sparked Bears generated several opportunities in the L captain played his typical strong two way opportunities with long stretch passes, a turnaround for the Horns, and they would third, trying to regain their lost lead, but Ward style, especially strong on the penalty kill that especially from goalie Aaron Sorochan. Ward get on the board late in the frame when Devin was at his best, keeping the game even and completely stymied the top scoring team in and the Pronghorn defence were equal to the Featherstone buried a shot during a 5-on-3 forcing overtime. The overtime play belonged Canada West. challenge, keeping the Bears from adding to powerplay. to the Bears, but Ward continued his stellar The second half results for the Pronghorns their lead. Shaun Norrie evened the score on Ward kept Lethbridge's hope alive in the play to bring the game to a shootout. should inspire confidence in the team's fans. a powerplay midway through the period by second period, making a series of big saves, Steve Zmudczynski was the first shooter With two sweeps and five wins in the past six tapping in a Jason Roberts rebound. The goal beginning with a pad stack five minutes in. for the Horns, and he buried a shot from the games, the Horns are on a roll, and three wins would spark some Lethbridge momentum, The scene was the same at the other end of hash marks. Bears' leading scorer Ben Kilgour in four games against the defending national and Mark Shefchyk found himself with a the rink, with Sorochan foiling a number of replied with a goal of his own before Lanager champions has the team looking forward to chance to give the Horns a lead after Norrie Pronghorn opportunities. Steve Zmudczynski and Ian McDonald would alternate misses. forthcoming playoff action. forced a turnover in the Alberta zone. missed a glorious opportunity by shooting The Horns third shot was taken by Mark This weekend will be another important set Shefchyk was unable to control the bouncing wide of the goal on a 4-on-2 rush late in the Shefchyk who made a beautiful deke, pulling of games for the Pronghorns, as they will have puck, however, and the score would remain period. The goaltenders were the focal point Sorochan out of position before snapping an opportunity to move into second place in even at one through the first. ofthe period, keeping the score at 3-1 despite the puck into the top of the net. Attempting the division, a position that would earn them The second period was short on shots, some good scoring opportunities by both to prolong the shootout, Dylan Stanley came a home playoff series. The weekend's games but not on scoring opportunities. Each side teams. in to take the Bears' third shot. Stanley's will take place on Friday and Saturday at 7:00 earned several chances, but the only goal The Pronghorns began making some shot from the hash marks hit Ward, and a both nights against the UBC Thunderbirds. came on another powerplay, as Ryan Costanzo noise midway through the third on another silence fell over the crowd of 1120 spectators. The regular season will conclude the following fired an outside shot that found its way past powerplay. Jason Roberts brought the Horns After a brief moment, and the realization weekend at Max Bell Arena in Calgary against Sorochan with Andrew Courtney providing within a goal by lifting a quick shot into the top that the goal lamp was not going to light up, the Dinos. February 8, 2007 The Meliorist Sports 19

Pronghorn Basketball teams Sunday Sunday Sunday!!! fall to Wesmen and Bisons Peyton Manning led the Indianapolis Colts to their very first Super Bowl appearance aaJaaaaaa^a^aaaaaaW* . ^ W^ *W \ ^^ and victory. This win has altered the Colts legacy, as they have previous­ ly been considered 'choke' nib . artists. Manning and company dominated the Chicago Bears on a rainy Mi­ ami afternoon, winning the big game 29-17.

not allow the Pronghorns to move By Ainsley Doty any closer to the win. The Horns Sports Editor fell 65-79 and dropped to 6-14 for the season. Mackinnon, Bekkering, The Men's Basketball team and Todd McClenaghan lead the suffered a tough pair of losses in this scoring with 15, 14, and 13 points. weekend's CIS action. Friday night The Pronghorns will conclude their they faced off against the Winnipeg Canada West schedule in a pair of Wesmen. During the first ten minutes home games against the University of play the two teams seemed evenly of Alberta Golden Bears on February matched, scoring quickly back and 9th and 10th. forth and going into the second half The Women's basketball team had of the first with a score of 28-22 an equally difficult away weekend. Wesmen. Despite some impressive Friday's match began in favour of Horn 3's and some missed Wesmen the Pronghorns, with the women free throws, Winnipeg still held dominating the first minutes of strong the lead going into halftime. play and leading 8-0 early in the Early on in the second the Wesmen first quarter against the Winnipeg went on a scoring frenzy, upping Wesmen. The Wesmen were quick their lead to ten at 58-48. Midway to take control and began to build through the second, Winipeg power momentum throughout the first house Nasajpour (who scored over half. 40 points during the game) scored Going into the second, the Horns 9 points in a row to move the score trailed 39-25. During the second half, now to 67-53. Lethbridge picked up the the Horns did not fair any better. pace in the latter half of the second After being outshot 22-9 in the third, and with just under 4 minutes to the Wesmen protected a 61-33 lead getting carded go, the Pronghorns tailed by one over our ladies. The Pronghorns deciding point. With the score at fought hard and long with players 81-80 both teams scrambled to take such as Ciana Gregorio snatching is a good thing control of the final minutes of play. rebounds and putting points on Lethbridge fought hard and long with the board, but their efforts simply the SPC Card"gets you exclusive discounts many key players including Scott weren't enough. The Horns fell 48- at hundreds of Canadian retailers. MacKinnon, Matthew Bekkering, 75 to the Winnipeg Wesmen. and Ryan Anderson (21, 18, and The second game ofthe weekend for 14 points respectively) making the ladies did not prove much more vital shots in attempts to take the fruitful than has the men's. During game. Unfortunately, as the buzzer the first quarter, the Pronghorns 4$£2& sounded, the Pronghorns were down held strong to a 5 point lead over by 4 and the Wesmen took the victory the Manitoba Bison. The Herd at 88-84. struck back during the second and The second game of the weekend scrambled their way to a 35-30 point started out rough for our Men. lead going into the half. Although the Half way through the first half the two teams were neck in neck for the Manitoba Bisons were up by 20 first 3 quarters, the Bisons were able and by the half the score was 39-26 to push for a brutal scoring attack in Herd. The Pronghorns fought back the fourth which left the Pronghorns with vigor during the second half struggling to catch up. The Bison coming back within 7 points of the took the 80-64 win and improved to lead. But the Bison continued to play 13-7 for the season, while the Horns strong, smart basketball and would dropped to 3-17. come in today or call 1-800-HRBLOCK H&R BLOCK hrblock.ca Our Graduate Program will put you on the ENTER FOR A CHANCE T8 WIN cutting edge of at a trip for two to a biomedical [•• SECRET I research. to see/ CON Hi rockwithblock.ca

Department of Biochemistry - results vary I participating locations in Canada only. For CatdboliJ may vary, restrictfa Visit our website at: ng 2006 oi (ii) a valid high school . H&R Block locations In Canada. "NO PURCHASE NECESSARY IQ ENTER OR WIN. Purchase www.biochem.ualberta.ca/PhD Block pioducts or wivictt will nol ol winning. Begins 2IM0I and ends 5/15/07 Open to legal res dents of Canada (excluding Quebec lesidents) who aie 1 j ot oldet and were foil-time students tor fooi or more months during 200fc> a; a high school, college ot university, there will be 1 random draw to awaid the pn^e. Skill testing question requited for award of prize See wv.vv.iockvvithblock.ca for Official Rules and how to plav without purchase. Odds oi winning vary based on participation. Void WT] U N 1 V li K S 1 T V O ¥ in Quebec and wheie piohibtai. r\y.;-% ALBERTA ULSU CONNECTING W STUDENTS Become a vital link to the student body! RUN FOR DO Y00 HAVE... ARE YOU. • « • Excellent leadership skills • Enthusiastic STUDENT COUNCIL • Interest in student issues • Highly Motivated • Willingness to participate and • A Team Player EXECUTIVE COUNCIL OR get involved. • Creative GENERAL ASSEMBLY WHAT YOU NEED TO DO: Each Executive Council member is to contribute a minimum of 35 hours per Each GA member is to represent students in their respective week and can only be a part-time student during their term. position and is to contribute a minimum of 6 hours per month.

President: -Liaison between U of L Administration and ULSU Six Arts and Sciences Reps -Chair Meetings One Management Rep -Spokesperson for the ULSU One Education Rep -Acts as a Liaison between VP Academic: -Represent academic issues both internally and externally One Health Sciences Rep students and ULSU Council -Student advisor for grade appeals One Fine Arts Rep -Volunteer time to ULSU -Organizer of speaker series One Residence Rep projects and activities One Board of Governors Rep -Attend monthly meetings VP Admin: -Oversee all financial matters of the ULSU One Calgary Campus Rep -Development of business plans One Edmonton Campus Rep -Assist with employee hiring and review VP Internal: -Responsible for ULSU Clubs -Responsible for constitutional review and adherence -Planning of non-academic events For more detailed info visit our website WWW.ULSU.CA r NO mew, fseiuf IYIOW The Slice (314 8th St. S.) doors at 8:00 PM, 18+, no cover SAT Y6

Tongue n Groove (312 2nd Ave. S.) doors at 9:00 PM, 18+, $3 cover qOcu LPIRtr PRfcSfcR \&W8N%3N •88.3 FMVfl kick-ofGalileo'f wins (SeU & leve cheesl 2) e celebration 7:00 PM FUNDRIVE iMPi&waeB'r™™^8 performances by the U of L Improv Club CKXEVENTU 88.3 FM is Lethbridge'S s only The Penny Coffee House (331 5th St. S.) 6:00 PM, no cover non-profit campus and commu­ 9 nity radio station^Theannual FUN­ CK*Brnfmsw™ drive is a Nftg^^P^ high school style dance Thdoore sSlic at e8:0 (310 4PM 8t,h 18 St+. S.) to getj^efheroand jSlroWt^t&eir $8 advance or $ 10 at the door supoplt. JhisVear we bay& a we Fu£fifURDAY' FEBRUARY 10 fu/pf fi^n^v^nts for you to enjoy^. midnight movie screening Ol^Uiiy^a Wore active j^rthan The Empire Theatre (723 4th7We.S.) 12:00 AM, no cover

Tongue n Groove basement (312 2nd Ave. S.) 7:00 PM, no cover if I ^ |For more information about these events, email fundra Advertised advance tickets available at CKXU (SU164) draBI-JeoKnt Er^rtal^i^^W^h Aye