The Alexander Litany by Kori Alston Draft 1/12/16 © 2016 Kori Alston

The Alexander Litany By Kori Alston

for Jaeden.

Characters – Clarence Alexander – Black. 76. He spent years looking at prison walls. Joseph Alexander – Black. 41. He would never admit to his addiction. Max Alexander – Mixed. 19. His fight will be a long one. Jack Alexander – Mixed. 15. Sports are his escape. He’s finding bravery. Naomi Alexander – White. 41. She found herself when Max was born. Warren – White. 18. Smarter than he seems. Often high. Chris – 18. Dark, twisted, and afraid to be alone. A charmer.

Time – 2014 2015

Places – Small town Western Massachusetts Broken neighborhood Albany New York Southern California A place of thought

Note – In this play, love is real.

Prologue.

A poem.

NAOMI: I know why The caged bird Never learned To fly Wings clipped That blackbird Crow Sent after the shiny Pennies and dimes Of the streets And sidewalks. I know why He circles And circles And circles Me and my Shiny shiny Pennies and dimes Smile. I know why he loves me. Now listen to A black man’s philosophy.

ACT 1

Scene 1 – A place of thought.

CLARENCE, JOSEPH, MAX, AND JACK exist within the same space of thought, unaware of each other. Three generations. The Alexander men.

CLARENCE: You can’t teach a boy to be a man. That’s some shit they got to be doin' on they own. Boys learn by doing, that’s how they different from girls. Girls need love – they gotta know that you thinkin’ bout them. Boys gotta know that they alone in this world. Ain’t shit you deserve that you don’t go take for yourself as a man. ‘Specially as a black man. Ain’t nobody wanna give you shit as a black man. They wanna take from ya. Take your future, take your past, take your thoughts. My boys know how to take what they deserve. But I don’t need to give them no lessons or lectures bout how to be a man. I just do it and they watch and learn from me, ya see what I’m sayin’? I handle my shit. I take what I need. I do my business with a smile on my face and my fist in my pocket. But we got a generation of boys who ain’t gonna be men. We losin’ ‘em. They soft. Not my boys, I raised them right. But they raisin’ they own kids differently. They lovin’ them too much – givin’ them too much of the shit they need to be takin’ for themselves. Shit – there ain’t nothin’ worse than weak man.

JOSEPH: All we can do is be better than our fathers were. Nobody’s perfect. We’re all just trying. Kids need someone to tell them that they love them – not just on birthdays or Easter – everyday. Kids need someone to teach them all the things they learned from life. My father didn’t teach me shit. He barely showed up. The only time I saw my father was when he would show up drunk to my grandmother’s house looking for money. I didn’t have a real father. He’s a lazy piece of shit. I’m around for my kids. I make mistakes – I’m not perfect. But I try. I provide for my family. That’s all I can do – I try, I fail, but I try again. They don’t have to like me for that but they need to respect that I am their father and that I am trying the best I can to give them the life I never had. Those boys don’t know how good they have it.

MAX: I don’t tell people about my father. This is a new beginning and I won’t let the past get in the way of that. I tell people that my mom is a single parent. Yeah, she’s still technically married to my dad but he was never a real parent. There’s a difference. A father is biological – necessary for your genetic existence but that’s it. A parent cares for you. A parent would do anything for you. A parent doesn’t lie or make you wait by the window for them to not come home at night. A parent doesn’t forget about you – you’re always on their mind. A parent doesn’t have to tell you that they love you because you already know. A parent doesn’t use your sexuality to justify his inability to connect with you. A parent certainly doesn’t choose a bottle of pills over you. He’s just broken, I get it, but I don’t care – it’s not my job to fix him.

JACK: Max gave up on dad a while ago but I understand. It’s hard. Dad is good at breaking promises. I’ve learned to stop believing them – it makes it easier when he doesn’t show up. Sometimes I still wish he would help me train for

JACK: sports the way he tells people he does. He takes credit for how good I am but he really doesn’t help me at all. Mom’s the one who drives me up to the soccer field to let me practice my shot. Mom’s the one who goes running with me and helps me research the best basketball gear. I definitely don’t hate dad like Max does but its still hard being his son. I don’t know, I guess I just want the kind of dad that my friends have. Like, Kevin’s dad takes him hunting and shopping for bb guns. Connor’s dad drives him all over the state so that he can get the best basketball training. That’s the kind of dad I want my dad to be but I guess he’s got better stuff going on.

Scene 2 – Small town Western Massachusetts.

A Saturday. Jack is fast asleep in bed. 10:14am. The sun is coming through the curtains. A perfect fall morning. His room is messy but not dirty. He hasn’t had the energy to clean it up. Organization doesn’t come easily to him. Trophies everywhere. Sports posters. A PS3. Naomi enters with her cellphone – pink case. Mom’s tough but she loves pink. She sits on the edge of Jack’s bed and rubs his back.

NAOMI: Hey Jackson… hey Jack can you wake up for a minute, kiddo?

JACK: (Typical morning stretch noises.) Yeah…

NAOMI: So bud, I just got off the phone with Adams Academy…

JACK: And…

NAOMI: They don’t think they have the resources you need and think you should try to come back next year once we’ve learned how to manage it.

JACK: No no no I can go back.

NAOMI: Jackson, you’re still having seizures everyday.

JACK: Mom, I’ll be fine. I can’t leave Adams.

NAOMI: I know this is really hard for you kiddo but I think –

JACK: No, mom, I’m okay. I’ll really be fine.

NAOMI: We just need to get you more stable – figure this whole epilepsy thing out.

JACK: I made so many new friends. I started a new life. I can’t just leave.

NAOMI: I know. I’m sorry. But you still have all your friends at Barrington High. You guys will pick up right where you left off. I’m sure they’ve missed you!

JACK: Mom, I can’t go to Barrington. I worked so hard to get into Adams; I’m not leaving.

NAOMI: If we can get you better, you can go back next year.

JACK: Just let me try again. I promise I’ll be okay.

NAOMI: You had a really bad one just last night, J. We will get you better, I promise. And I’ll drive you out to go see the Adams’ games.

JACK: Mom, I left for a reason.

NAOMI: I know, J, I know. But your health is more important right now. Epilepsy is manageable but everything I’ve read about it says that it takes a while to adjust your life around it.

Jack buries his face in his pillow. Naomi rubs his back.

NAOMI: I know…

JACK: You’re sure I can go back next year?

NAOMI: Absolutely. They don’t want to lose an athlete like you.

JACK: But this isn’t fair. I was so happy and now this has to take it away from me. Like why epilepsy? I worked so hard and now I’m just going right back to Barrington.

NAOMI: I’m going to get you all the support you need. I’ve already talked to the guidance counselors up there and they have no doubt that you’ll get what you need out of Barrington. You can take all honors classes and I’m going to talk to them about you not having to fulfill an art and tech requirement so that you can do some independent studies. Everyone knows how hard this is for you, Jack, we do.

Silence. Jack gets up and loads his new video game into the system.

NAOMI: Do you want to call Max? I’m sure he would have good advice.

JACK: I don’t want to bother him; it’s still early.

NAOMI: I was already texting him this morning. He had to get up early for work.

JACK: Oh…

Jack sits back in bed and starts playing his video game. He gets frustrated and stops.

JACK: This isn’t fair.

NAOMI: You’re right, it’s not. But everything happens for a reason.

JACK: What reason? There’s no reason for anyone to have seizures. Not everything has a reason.

NAOMI: I promise you that everything will work out. You’ve got to trust me on this, okay?

Silence.

JACK: Can you hand me my phone?

NAOMI: Are you calling Max?

JACK: No, I’ll text him.

NAOMI: Just give him a call!

JACK: I get nervous to open up on the phone. I’ll text him. It’s fine.

NAOMI: You’re sure?

JACK: Yeah.

NAOMI: Okay. I’m gonna wake your little brother up and then make breakfast. You want an omelet?

JACK: Yeah sure.

NAOMI: Spinach?

JACK: Yeah and cheddar.

NAOMI: Orange juice? Hot cocoa?

JACK: Orange is fine.

NAOMI: Okay… Hey, I’m really sorry this is happening kiddo.

JACK: It’s okay.

NAOMI: No, it’s not okay. You don’t deserve this.

JACK: It’s okay.

Scene 3 – Broken neighborhood Albany New York.

Clarence Alexander is sitting on the couch rolling a joint. He’s retired but he still wears his plumbing attire. He’s watching the news. A big fish tank sits on the bookshelf next to him.

CLARENCE: Hey Viv, bring me a beer. Wait, we got beer? Viv… Vivienne! Woman where the fuck are you? Vivienne! This some bullshit… (To the fish.) This is why you don’t need no women in your life. They act like they there for you and they gonna take care of you, make you feel like a king, and then they just not there. Where the hell is that woman? She probably at the store gettin’ some crab for tonight. She know I love me some crab. (Pause.) Damn look at me, I’m talkin’ to a fish about some crabs. (Laughing) Ain’t that some fucked up shit Mr. Fish – talkin’ to you like you can understand what the fuck I’m sayin’. I bet you’d understand me if I gave you a hit of this shit right here. (He takes a big hit.) See this right here is all you need in life. Some good ass weed, some crab, and a fish to talk to you.

He continues to smoke the joint and flip through the channels. It gets to a gospel channel and stops searching. He sits in silence for a while.

CLARENCE: You know Mr. Fish, Jesus wasn’t even white. Ain’t that fucked up? I don’t care that white people took our music from us and the way we dress from us. I don’t care; white people can take whatever the hell they want from us black folks, but not Jesus. Because they not just takin’ Jesus from black people but they tryna take Jesus from God – tryna act like Jesus look like them. That just ain’t right, Mr. Fish. White people are some mean and nasty thieves. Not all of ‘em – I know some good white folks – but a lot of them are just thieves, Mr. Fish. Mean and nasty thieves.

Scene 4 – Southern California.

Max is sitting in his room with his friend, Warren. They are studying for their upcoming “Gender, Law and Theory” test.

WARREN: 1963…

MAX: Equal Pay Act.

WARREN: 1964…

MAX: Title VII of the Civil Rights Act?

WARREN: And?

MAX: And the establishment of the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission.

WARREN: Dude, you’ve got this.

MAX: It’s not the legislation I’m worried about. It’s all the theory.

WARREN: Yeah same. The only thing I know about bell hooks is that she has something against capital letters.

MAX: You’ll be fine. Just dig deep and find your inner intersectional feminist.

WARREN: Oh I’m digging, man. I’m digging.

They laugh. Silence.

MAX: I’m so ready for break.

WARREN: You have no idea.

MAX: It’s gonna be weird not being with my family.

WARREN: Mi familia es tu familia – you know that.

MAX: I know but still. I just wish I could be there right now, you know?

WARREN: How’s Jack doing?

MAX: The doctors say it’s epilepsy.

WARREN: Oh poor guy.

MAX: Yeah I can tell it’s been hard for him but he’s hanging in there.

WARREN: Well Christmas will come before you know it!

MAX: Yeah I hope so… Wow fuck I sound so ungrateful. Thank you, again, for letting me come eat some turkey with you and the fam.

WARREN: Dude, it’s my pleasure. You’re my best friend – it’ll be fun.

MAX: Yeah totally.

Silence.

WARREN: Your little bros are lucky to have you – you know that, right?

MAX: I guess.

WARREN: You guess?

MAX: Well I left.

WARREN: Yeah but everyone leaves for college.

MAX: Yeah I know, I know, but I still feel guilty.

WARREN: Dude, don’t. It’s college.

MAX: Yeah but I still left.

WARREN: You had to!

MAX: Did I?

WARREN: Yes.

MAX: I don’t know.

WARREN: Everyone goes to college.

MAX: Yeah I know.

WARREN: So don’t stress it, man. You’re doing big things. I’m gonna go smoke, wanna come?

MAX: I’ll come hang outside with you.

WARREN: I totally respect that you don’t but I’ve been meaning to ask you… why is it that don’t you smoke?

MAX: I’m not a big fan of drugs.

WARREN: Why?

MAX: I don’t know – addiction?

WARREN: Yeah but weed isn’t like a real drug.

MAX: Yeah I get that, it’s just – I don’t know. I just don’t want to rely on a substance to be happy.

WARREN: Okay I get that.

MAX: Yeah.

WARREN: Shall we?

MAX: Lead the way.

They exit.

Scene 5 – Small town Western Massachusetts.

Joseph is in the bathroom of his brother’s house. He pulls out a bottle of pills (Percocet) and shakes it. He opens the bottle and takes two. He leaves the bathroom, putting his pills away. He sits down at the table waiting for his high. He gets impatient and picks up his phone. He calls Naomi but she doesn’t answer. He leaves a voicemail.

JOSEPH: Hey I thought that maybe I could see the boys today. I’m not really doing anything right now and it would be nice to see them. I’ve had a really busy week but I have the rest of the day off so I thought that I would come over and take the boys shopping or something. Alright, call me back.

He hangs up the phone. He takes out the pill bottle and takes another one. He waits for his high again. He gets grapes from the fridge and starts eating them. Again he gets impatient and calls Naomi.

JOSEPH: Naomi, this is bullshit. Answer your phone please – you can’t keep my kids from me. And don’t give me that shit saying that they don’t want to see me. If they’ve ever said that it’s because you’re in their heads and you don’t let them think for themselves. I’m still their father and your husband whether you like it or not. You have no right to keep them from me.

He hangs up the phone. Continues eating grapes. Impatience gets the best of him again and he calls back.

JOSEPH: Fuck you, bitch! You completely fucked up my relationship with Max and I am not letting you do the same thing with the other two. I just want to see my kids, okay? Come on, Naomi, it doesn’t have to be like this.

He hangs up. He opens his pill bottle and takes another two.

Scene 6 – A place of thought.

MAX: The Michael Brown verdict was released; so was the Eric Garner verdict. Neither of the cops were indicted. But I’m tired of people saying that the system is broken. The system is working exactly the way it was designed to work. American capitalism was designed to keep the lower class poor, women silent, queer people in danger, and black people as slaves. You can’t fix a system that is working perfectly. People don’t get it. The constant evolution of technology and consumerism makes the world of those in privilege so small that they don’t have to confront the fact that black people are hunted in this country and its always open season. We are angry. We will not be silenced.

CLARENCE: This shit has been happening to black folks since we got here. Ain’t nothin’ changed; they just call us thugs instead of niggers, that’s the only difference. White people have always been thieves – they stole this land from my father’s people and enslaved my mother’s people. That’s why my mama got white in her – white people been raping and killing us black folks for centuries but every time we get angry about it they just kill us some more and tell us that they doin it ‘cause we too angry. I just keep to myself now ‘cause I ain’t tryna be killed. I’m leaving this fucked up world soon anyways.

JACK: I don’t really understand everything that’s going on in Ferguson right now but I know that it’s not fair and it’s really scary. Max posted a long Facebook status about it – something about “systematic injustice.”

JOSEPH: Frankly, I’m not too concerned with everything that is happening. Look at me, I worked my way out of the projects and my life is easier. I know too many black folks that don’t work hard enough to prove that they don’t fit those stereotypes. I’m constantly trying to get my family to speak correctly. Look at Max, he doesn’t act ghetto and he’s now at one of the top universities in the country, even if he won’t give me any credit for it.

Scene 7 – Southern California.

Max is performing poetry at an open mic on campus. Chris is standing in the back of the room but Max is unaware of his presence. Chris is drunk. He’s quite charming, a sociopath in the making. Mysterious. Sick. Charming as all hell.

MAX: Four score and seven years ago I was impossible / we would not drink the same water / we would not use the same bathrooms / we would not attend the same schools / rules were set in place to place faces of the same race in places where they had no space to grow or integrate / we cared more about getting a man in space than we did in keeping our children safe / the fate of our nation rested in the fists of our grandparents and they marched / and they faced the hoses and the dogs and the prisons and the lynchings and they held hands with one another and they dreamed / but to me it seems their dreams have yet to be realized / we’ve disguised the ugly truth with a black president and Beyoncé / we do not live in a post-racial America and let me tell you why / in a post-racial America I would not get followed around department stores / in a post-racial America my college acceptance would not get attributed to the color of my skin / in a post-racial America I would not get stopped nor frisked / the biggest issue with race in America is that we have forgotten that race is an issue in America / 25% of the high schools in our country with the largest Black and Latino populations do not offer algebra two / 33% do not offer chemistry / and we wonder why 1 in 3 black men will end up incarcerated / why 1 in 16 will be diagnosed with AIDS / the group with the highest statistical chance of being shot and killed in his country are 18 year old black men / that is me / I am Kimani Gray / I am Trayvon Martin / I am Mike Brown / but I will not be a statistic / I don’t fear sharks or the dark / my greatest fear is the fear I instill in others / I’ve seen women grab their purses in the elevators / I’ve heard the car doors lock / I’ve watched people cross to the other side of the street when they see me walking by / I stand here a child of the universe just like my white brothers and sister but there is no pain – no pain like seeing someone afraid of you when they don’t even know who you are / they don’t know that you graduated top of your class / they don’t know that you don’t remember the last time you felt safe / they don’t know that you are more afraid of the color of your skin than they are / look into my eyes and you’ll see that fear ain’t only skin deep, at least not for me.

Max takes it all in and leaves the small stage. He takes a seat and finishes half of his water bottle. Chris walks up behind him and sits down.

CHRIS: Good job.

MAX: What the fuck? Why are you here?

CHRIS: Hi works too!

MAX: Hi, Chris.

CHRIS: Surprise.

MAX: Seriously why are you here?

CHRIS: I’m visiting my sister.

MAX: You could have given me a heads up.

CHRIS: You don’t answer my texts.

MAX: Do you blame me?

CHRIS: We could have stayed friends.

MAX: I’m not having this conversation here.

CHRIS: Well then let’s go outside and talk.

MAX: Chris, you can’t do this.

CHRIS: I leave tomorrow morning.

MAX: So?

CHRIS: So this is our only chance to chat.

MAX: So?

CHRIS: I want to talk.

MAX: Okay, let’s go outside.

The two head outside and Chris jumps up and sits on the back of a bench. Comfortable.

MAX: This isn’t fair.

CHRIS: I don’t know why you still hate me.

MAX: Are you kidding me?

CHRIS: You were just as shitty as I was.

MAX: Chris, are you fucking kidding me?

CHRIS: I know you cheated on me after prom.

MAX: I kissed a girl – that’s not cheating! Me, a gay man, kissing a girl when I’m drunk, is not the same thing as cheating, Chris. You cheated.

CHRIS: I don’t see the difference.

MAX: Are you serious right now? You fucked your ex boyfriend, lied to me about it, and then when I found out it was true, you told me that you had fallen out of love with me. Do you really not see the difference, Chris? Really?

CHRIS: Okay well that was four months ago.

MAX: Yeah and it took three months for me to put the fucking pieces of my heart back together. But of course, here you are, just when I’m happy again, just when I’m no longer hurting. You are so fucked up.

CHRIS: I know.

MAX: Stop looking at me like that.

CHRIS: Like what?

MAX: Chris.

CHRIS: Yes?

MAX: You need help.

CHRIS: I’ve stopped cutting.

MAX: Okay.

CHRIS: My wrists.

MAX: I don’t want to know this shit.

CHRIS: But you love me.

MAX: Fuck you, Chris.

CHRIS: Ask me where I cut now.

MAX: No. I’m going back inside.

CHRIS: My legs.

MAX: Goodnight, Chris.

CHRIS: (Smiling. He loves this game.) If you leave, I’ll do it for real this time.

MAX: Chris, stop. Where’s your sister?

CHRIS: With her friends.

MAX: Well go back with them.

CHRIS: You walk away and I’ll do it.

MAX: Why are you doing this to me?

CHRIS: Because you love me.

MAX: Chris, this isn’t fair.

CHRIS: Then go back inside.

MAX: Chris, stop.

CHRIS: No.

MAX: You should be in a hospital or rehab or something.

CHRIS: I went. It didn’t help.

MAX: You can’t just come back into my life after four months and tell me this shit.

CHRIS: Sometimes I just take any pills I can find.

MAX: What’s your sister’s phone number, I’m calling her.

CHRIS: Pain is such a silly thing. I don’t know why everyone makes such a big deal about it – it’s a fun way to past the time.

MAX: Chris, what’s her number?

CHRIS: Have you ever thought about ending it?

MAX: You’re sick. What’s her number?

CHRIS: Kiss me.

MAX: Fuck you.

CHRIS: Don’t you miss kissing me?

MAX: I don’t.

CHRIS: You can lie to yourself as much as you want but don’t lie to me.

MAX: Chris, can you please go back with your sister and leave me alone?

CHRIS: Fuck me, Max.

MAX: Chris, stop.

CHRIS: I miss you.

MAX: Can you please just go home?

CHRIS: Remember what happened last time you told me to “just go home”? Is that what you want? You want me to go home so I’ll go through with it this time.

MAX: No, I want you to go home because you’re drunk and you need help and I need you to leave me alone.

CHRIS: Kiss me and then I’ll leave.

MAX: No.

CHRIS: You want to.

MAX: Stop.

CHRIS: Kiss me.

MAX: Chris, stop.

CHRIS: I’ll leave if you do.

MAX: Why are you doing this to me?

CHRIS: Because you love me.

MAX: I don’t.

CHRIS: Just kiss me and I’ll leave your life forever.

MAX: We both know that’s not true.

CHRIS: Max.

MAX: Fuck you.

(They kiss. It makes Max sick but he doesn’t want it to end. His heroin.)

MAX: Now leave me alone.

CHRIS: Okay. But don’t forget.

MAX: What?

CHRIS: You love me.

MAX: Goodnight, Chris.

Max walks back into the open mic. Chris rubs his wrists.

Scene 8 – Small town Western Massachusetts.

Joseph is standing outside the house. Naomi walks out, unhappy with the prospect of his immaturity.

JOSEPH: What’s up?

NAOMI: We need to talk.

JOSEPH: Okay well I’m here so talk.

NAOMI: Don’t start. Don’t be rude.

JOSEPH: This is bullshit. I’m standing outside my own fucking house.

NAOMI: Joseph, don’t. This is about the boys.

JOSEPH: Can we go inside?

NAOMI: No we can talk out here.

JOSEPH: I’ll leave; I’m not doing this.

NAOMI: Can we please just talk, for once, like adults?

JOSEPH: We can talk like adults inside.

NAOMI: You’re not doing this to me right now. Stop.

JOSEPH: Well what the fuck do you have to say? Just say it so I can go back to my brother’s couch that I’m sleeping on.

NAOMI: Why don’t you just go back to her bed?

JOSEPH: Naomi, I’m not explaining myself to you again.

NAOMI: Oh there’s nothing to explain. You got her pregnant again and you don’t have the balls to admit it.

JOSEPH: She wasn’t pregnant.

NAOMI: Well even if that’s true, that’s all you can say! You were still sleeping with her even after I forgave you for the last child you fathered with the bitch.

JOSEPH: If we’re just here to fight about the past again, I’ll leave. I don’t deserve this shit.

NAOMI: Are you kidding me? Did you really just say that you don’t deserve this shit? You? Never mind. Fuck you.

JOSEPH: I’m leaving.

NAOMI: Wait.

JOSEPH: WHAT?

NAOMI: I need money for Jack’s medication.

JOSEPH: Well I need access to my own home.

NAOMI: Don’t.

JOSEPH: What?

NAOMI: Joseph, don’t.

JOSEPH: What?

NAOMI: You know what.

JOSEPH: This is my house.

NAOMI: Your son needs medicine so that he stops having seizures and you’re seriously going to pull this shit?

JOSEPH: You really want me to help raise my kids without seeing them?

NAOMI: That’s what you’ve been doing for the past 19 years so nothing really has to change.

JOSEPH: Well then you can take me to court but I’m not giving you a fucking cent until you let me into my house.

NAOMI: Do not punish my children for your mistakes.

JOSEPH: Don’t deprive my children of their father.

NAOMI: I told the boys that they could see you whenever they want to but not once has either of them asked to spend time with you. This family was always just one of your illusions. It’s always just been me and the boys, whether you like it or not.

JOSEPH: You’re full of shit.

NAOMI: No, Joseph, I’m just finally calling you out on yours. I’ve wasted twenty years of my life on you. I thank God everyday for my three boys but they are the only thing you have ever given me. Those boys need a father and they don’t have one. You always say that you’re better than your father, that you finally broke the cycle. Well I’m sorry but that’s just more bullshit. At least your father had the

NAOMI: decency to not subject you to his shit. My boys have to live with it everyday. They know, Joseph, they know it all. How do you think it feels for an eight-year-old knowing that his father’s a drug addict? Or how do you expect Jackson to ever have a healthy relationship with a woman when he’s seen you cheat on me and talk to me like an animal his whole life? And what about Max? Do you actually expect him to ever forgive you? And don’t you dare try to flip this around and put this on me. You did this. You destroyed this family before we even had the chance to be one. So you know what, fuck it, you can stay here, on the couch. But we will never share a bed again and this has never been nor will it ever be your family. Now give me the money so I can buy your son some medication to stop his seizures.

Silence. He pulls $60 out of his pocket and hands it to her. She walks inside, leaving the door open. He has a smile on his face full of numb humiliation. He follows her into the house.

Scene 9 – Broken neighborhood Albany New York.

It’s Sunday morning – time for church. Clarence is in his living room watching the news and ironing his pale yellow dress shirt.

CLARENCE: You know, Mr. Fish, men ain’t supposed to be doin this shit. This is a woman’s job – all this ironing and dishes and shit. But of course I marry a woman who takes so damn long in the shower that I gotta go ahead and get this shit done myself. Women just get in the way, Mr. Fish. Stay a bachelor. The fuck is goin on now?

He turns up the news to hear: “12 year old, Tamir Rice, was killed yesterday by a white police officer and more protests have already begun.” He turns the TV off.

CLARENCE: No more of this shit, man. The news ain’t the same thing for black folks. White people get educated about the world when they watch the news. We black folks just get reminded that this ain’t no place for us – never was, never will be. The only nigga they ever let in the damn white house, they won’t even let get shit done. You know, Mr. Fish, I ain’t even mad like most black folks. I’m too old to get mad at this shit. I’m just tired. Living as a black person in this country ain’t no life. What’s crazy is that life was beautiful back in Africa before the white people got there. White people done stole my future before I even had the chance to get to it. But you know what? We pray, and we go to church, and we work hard, and we smoke some weed, and we try to make the best out of this fucked up country they put us in. When you think about it, black Americans are the happiest slaves in the world. Why? Because we keep forgetting that we’re in a cage.

Clarence takes a sip of beer, shakes his head, and continues to iron his church clothing.

Scene 10 – Small town Western Massachusetts.

Jackson is sitting at his desk working on a paper and struggling to stay awake. Naomi walks in. It is late.

NAOMI: Hey bud, you should really be asleep. It’s almost midnight.

JACK: I still have two more pages to write.

NAOMI: When is this paper due?

JACK: Tomorrow…

NAOMI: Jackson, you can’t leave a big paper until last minute like this. You need sleep.

JACK: I’ll be fine.

NAOMI: You know that your seizures get worse when you’re tired.

JACK: Mom, I’ll be fine.

NAOMI: You have to take care of yourself.

JACK: It’s just one night.

NAOMI: But once you get behind, it’s really difficult to catch up again.

JACK: Mom, I’ll be fine.

NAOMI: You have to take better care of your body if you want to go back to Adams Academy next year. Can’t you go to bed and wake up early to finish it? I’ll wake up early with you and help.

JACK: (He puts his face in his hands.) Mom, I’m tired.

NAOMI: I know, J, so get some rest.

JACK: No, not just right now. I’m tired of all of this. I’m tired of not being normal. I’m tired of being jealous of my friends. My life isn’t what I want it to be and I don’t know what to do.

NAOMI: What do you mean, bud?

JACK: I’m tired of these stupid seizures and of Barrington High. I hate that I’m not playing sports at Adams. I’m not happy anymore.

NAOMI: But you have so many friends at Barrington!

JACK: That doesn’t mean that I’m happy.

NAOMI: Jackson, I promise –

JACK: Mom, I feel trapped. I feel trapped in my own body and there’s nothing I can do to get out. Sports used to be my escape. When I play soccer, I forget about all the stuff with dad and I forget that Max is gone and I forget that you have to work so much. And now, I don’t have that. Now I just feel trapped.

NAOMI: I’m sorry, kiddo. What can I do to help?

JACK: Find me a new body – then maybe I’ll be happy.

NAOMI: Happiness wouldn’t magically appear if you had a new body. I used to think that I would finally be happy when my life became what I had always dreamed it to be, but that’s not how happiness works. And Jackson, you’re strong; you’ll get through this. I know how much it sucks right now but you have people around you that love you and will do anything to put a smile on your face. Max will be home in just over a month and then everything will feel normal again. It’s going to be okay, I promise.

JACK: You don’t know that.

NAOMI: I promise.

Scene 11 – A place of thought.

JOSEPH: I’ve changed. I’m not who my family thinks I am anymore. I’ve grown and learned. Life doesn’t push me around anymore; I do what makes me happy. If I choose to do drugs, it’s my choice. If I choose to spend time with someone, that’s my choice. I’m no longer letting my past control who I am in the present. Maybe its too late but I’m finding happiness and that’s what’s important. Don’t ever put someone else’s happiness above your own. Happiness will find its way into your life when you accept that we can’t control anything. I’ve learned to put life in God’s hands and trust that he has a plan for me.

MAX: Change is constant – especially among humans. We are constantly evolving, being molded and shaped by the world around us. There’s a reason we have new favorite songs every few days. I’m most comfortable in change. That’s why I move from one place to the next so easily. I’m at my fourth school in six years. I think I’m afraid of getting stuck like my mom. Her dream was never to raise three boys in the town where she grew up with a cheating, abusive drug addict… but she got stuck. I refuse to get stuck.

CLARENCE: Don’t nothin’ change no more. It’s all the same as it was years ago, it just look different. This world ain’t never change anything except its appearance. People have always loved blindly and started wars in the same way. The only thing that really change is the clothes that people wear or music that they listen to it but people will never change. We are what we have always been and what we will always be. Trust me, that’s the damn truth. You ain’t gotta believe me, you’ll probably be happier if you don’t, but that’s the damn truth.

JACK: Changing schools was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I said all my goodbyes, thought I’d never see my old friends again but now I’m back and it’s weird. I made amazing friends at Adams Academy – people who think like me and care about the things that I care about. I was the happiest I’ve ever been. This place is too small for me… at least that’s what Max says.

Scene 12 – Broken neighborhood Albany, New York.

Clarence is sitting on his couch rolling a joint. He has a beer. He’s watching the news. An anchor says, “An unidentified black teenager was found dead in the streets here in Albany. Police have yet to release a statement about the specifics of the incident but it is suspected to be gang related.” He turns the TV off.

CLARENCE: That’s enough for today, Mr. Fish. Let’s just talk.

Scene 13 – Small town Western Massachusetts.

Naomi and Jackson are in the kitchen. Naomi is doing dishes and Jack is doing his homework at the kitchen counter. A Sunday afternoon.

JACK: Only two weeks, right?

NAOMI: Yeah he comes home in thirteen days.

JACK: Do you think he’s changed?

NAOMI: Max? Probably not. I bet he’ll seem older but he’ll still be his crazy self.

JACK: How is he so smart?

NAOMI: You’re all so smart!

JACK: No, but seriously. He makes it look so easy.

NAOMI: It’s been his escape. He’s been trying to get out of here for years and he knew his mind would take him where he wanted to go. I think it doesn’t really feel like work to him. He doesn’t set limits on what he can do; he’s confident that he’ll get it done and he figures out how to do it.

JACK: I wish I were like that.

NAOMI: You are! You just have to be willing to do the work.

JACK: Oh, mom?

NAOMI: Yes?

JACK: Can Lauren come over this weekend?

NAOMI: Who’s Lauren?

JACK: Just a friend.

NAOMI: Just a friend?

JACK: Yes, mom.

NAOMI: A special friend?

JACK: Mom, stop.

NAOMI: Oh so she is a special friend.

JACK: Yeah I guess so.

NAOMI: You guess?

JACK: Okay yes she is a special friend.

NAOMI: When did you meet this special friend?

JACK: When I went back to Barrington.

NAOMI: And you’re willing to let her hangout in this pigpen?

JACK: The house is barely a mess… and I’ll help you clean!

NAOMI: Oh so now I’m cleaning for your special friend? She better be extra special.

JACK: You don’t have to clean.

NAOMI: Oh stop it; of course I’ll help clean up for your friend to come over.

JACKS: Thank you.

NAOMI: But I mean it, she better be special!

JACK: She’s as special as someone from around here can be.

NAOMI: You think we don’t have anyone special around here?

JACK: Obviously there are some special people but most people around here aren’t that great.

NAOMI: What about you?

JACK: I don’t think that I’m very special.

NAOMI: Well that’s just false.

JACK: You have to say that.

NAOMI: I don’t have to say anything!

JACK: Yeah but you’re my mom.

NAOMI: So?

JACK: So of course you think I’m special! It’s your job!

NAOMI: Then I guess I’m not like most moms.

JACK: You’re definitely not.

NAOMI: Exactly. I wouldn’t lie to my boys.

JACK: What about Santa Claus?

NAOMI: Oh come on, that’s different!

JACK: Yeah but still.

NAOMI: Still nothing!

She smiles. Silence.

JACK: Hey, mom?

NAOMI: Yes?

JACK: Thank you.

NAOMI: Don’t thank me; it’s my job to make you smile.

JACK: Wanna play a game of chess?

NAOMI: Sure, go set it up. I’ll come in and kick your ass when I’m done with the dishes.

Jack leaves to go set up the chess game. Naomi tries to keep doing the dishes but her life suddenly feels less full than it had before. She misses her family. She misses the life she thought she was going to have. She misses making decisions for herself. She stops doing dishes. She calls Max. No answer. She leaves a voicemail.

NAOMI: Hey bud. Just calling to say that we love and miss you. Call us back and let us know how your exam went. We’ll be around all night. Okay, love you, talk to you soon. Bye.

She hangs up and fights back the tears. She just wants her family back. She’s tired of being characters in other people’s stories. She pours two glasses of water and goes to play chess with Jack.

Scene 14 – Southern California.

Max is playing his mother’s voicemail on speaker in his dorm room. It’s hard. Guilt is a heavy cape to wear. He turns it off and sits in silence of a while. A while. He goes to his desk, and grabs a picture of his mom and brothers and stares at it.

MAX: I’m sorry. I’ll be home soon.

Scene 15 – Small town Western Massachusetts.

Joseph is watching a video of Max performing spoken word on YouTube. It’s hard. He slams the laptop shut and starts digging through his mess of a room to find his pills. He finds them. Security. He takes two. He stares at God for a while. He takes two more. He puts on his jacket and leaves the room. He re-enters because he forgot his keys. He sees a baby picture of Max on the dresser. He picks it up and stares at it for a while.

JOSEPH: I’m sorry. Come home soon, son.

END ACT 1

ACT 2

Scene 1 – A place of thought.

MAX: I’m sick of this shit. Every other day there’s a new black body to mourn. Only this time, this time they recorded every shot. Seven in that man’s back. The crime? Blackness. I’m done with the bullshit Facebook statuses and Huffington Post articles – nothing is changing and no one seems to care. Everyone talks and talks but no one is actually doing anything. Imagine if every angry black boy and girl decided that enough is enough – that would be one bloody revolution. The minute black Americans decide to put away the gang violence and take the weapons the government has left in our neighborhoods and point them at every white face with a silver badge, it’ll be over. The only way out is through, right? Well I want out.

JACKSON: I can’t take this anymore. I have no control over my own body. Too much sleep? Seizure. Too little sleep? Seizure. It seems like every other doctor is telling me to put a different chemical in my body every other day and it hurts. I’m not a science experiment – I’m an athlete. I just want to run again. I miss the pain in my lungs after countless laps. I feel strong. I don’t feel strong a lot but when my lungs are on the verge of breaking, I feel invincible. It’s time I take control of my own body again. No one knows my body like me, right? Well let’s see.

CLARENCE: Vivienne been spendin a lot of time down at the church lately. They been prayin a lot – a lot to pray about in the news. I ain’t watch the news in about two weeks because the TV’s broken but I’m sure there have been more black men killed by white cops to pray about. So it’s just been me and Mr. Fish lately. I like that fish – like talkin to that fish. Ain’t right to share your feelings like that to another man but I guess a fish don’t count. (He laughs.) I ain’t never had a real friend – never had another man to talk to. I’ve had countless women but I never really had a real friend. Huh… ain’t that some shit? I like that fish.

JOSEPH: I’m just figuring shit out, you know? I work a lot and it takes a lot to get through each day. Yes, I’m taking a lot of pills but I have things under control. My buddy has a prescription that he doesn’t use so I’m able to take as much as I need to get through the day. I’m doing my best, okay? Working hard – just doing my best.

Scene 2 – Broken neighborhood Albany New York.

Clarence is sitting in front of his new TV with the instructions beside him. He speaks to Mr. Fish, of course.

CLARENCE: Damn smokin that joint was just foolish. Why’d you let me do that, Mr. Fish? Don’t you know I can’t do shit right when I’m high? (He looks at the instructions briefly.) What time is it? (He looks at his flip phone.) Damn Vivienne’s gonna be back from church in 20 minutes. You can’t let no woman see you struggling, Mr. Fish. You know that? Can’t never let no woman see you struggle. Make you seem weak and then they start tellin you what to do. A man needs to run his house. Damn I’m talkin to you like you’re my son or somethin. (Silence.) I wonder how Joe been. Ain’t seen him in about ten years now. That boy may not like me, but he sure wears that last name real nice. He got him a white wife and a job in suburbs and everything. I guess he made it into White America, Mr. Fish. Lucky nigga. (Silence.) I really would like to see him and my grandsons sometime. Toughin those boys up a bit – rough ‘em around some. Weak boys are the ones that turn out sweet. We gotta make them boys into men, not girls. Ain’t no Alexander man sweet, Mr. Fish. (He remembers the task at hand.) Damn TV – shit don’t make no sense.

He goes back to reading the instructions.

Scene 3 – Small town Western Massachusetts.

Naomi is standing in the kitchen in her bathrobe. It is nearly midnight. She is making herself tea. Joseph walks in from outside. He is extremely high – he can hardly stand up straight. His speech is slurred.

NAOMI: You told the boys you’d be home for dinner.

JOSEPH: I know… I know… but I…

NAOMI: How many did you take?

JOSEPH: Don’t worry… I can be fine…

NAOMI: Joe, how many did you take?

JOSEPH: A lot now go away.

NAOMI: You need help.

JOSEPH: I’m fine.

NAOMI: You’re not.

JOSEPH: I’m fine.

NAOMI: What if Jack comes down and sees you like this?

JOSEPH: Oh shut up… he’s asleep.

NAOMI: Please go to bed.

JOSEPH: Fuck off.

NAOMI: Joseph, please.

JOSEPH: Why?

NAOMI: It’s scary when you’re like this.

JOSEPH: But you… fuck you.

NAOMI: Joe.

JOSEPH: You don’t even love me.

NAOMI: You know that’s not true.

JOSEPH: I sleep on the couch.

NAOMI: I’m not letting you hurt me again.

JOSEPH: How many times?

NAOMI: What?

JOSEPH: Did I hurt you.

NAOMI: Too many to count, Joe.

JOSEPH: One more…

NAOMI: What?

JOSEPH: One last one…

NAOMI: Last what, Joseph?

JOSEPH: Chance. I want a chance.

NAOMI: You’ve had enough.

JOSEPH: Please.

NAOMI: No. I’m sorry, Joe.

JOSEPH: Please, Naomi!

NAOMI: I’m sorry.

JOSEPH: Please!!!

NAOMI: Joseph, please stop.

He begins to yell. He isn’t yelling at Naomi – he’s just yelling out the hurt. He really hurts. The yelling turns into an utter breaking down of the construction of man. He cries. Not like “men” cry. He really cries.

JOSEPH: She’s pregnant.

NAOMI: What?

JOSEPH: She’s pregnant again.

NAOMI: Get out.

JOSEPH: Naomi, please.

NAOMI: Get out, now.

JOSEPH: I don’t have anywhere to go.

NAOMI: I don’t care. Get out.

JOSEPH: I…

NAOMI: Now.

JOSEPH: We can figure it out.

NAOMI: Joseph, no.

JOSEPH: Please. It was a mistake. Please, Naomi – I can change.

NAOMI: You’ve had twenty years to change and you haven’t. Get out.

JOSEPH: What are you gonna tell the boys? Huh?

NAOMI: That their father is going to have another child. Get out.

JOSEPH: Naomi…

NAOMI: Out.

JOSEPH: PLEASE!

NAOMI: Get out!

Scene 4 – Southern California.

Max is sitting in his dorm room working on a paper. Warren enters.

WARREN: Hey man, wanna study?

MAX: Sociology?

WARREN: Yeah – it’s a lot of vocab. “Theories.”

MAX: Yeah sure.

WARREN: You’ve got the notes, yeah?

MAX: Yeah right here. (Passes Warren his notebook.)

WARREN: Want me to test you on them?

MAX: I haven’t even looked at them yet.

WARREN: Oh. You know the test is tomorrow, right?

MAX: Yeah.

Silence.

WARREN: Hey, are you alright?

MAX: Yeah – just a lot on my mind. A lot on the news.

WARREN: What’s up, brotha? You can talk to me.

MAX: Wait. What?

WARREN: What?

MAX: You called me “brotha”?

WARREN: Yeah… is that not cool?

MAX: I’m not your brother.

WARREN: Hey, chill. I was just trying to be nice.

MAX: Well you don’t have to call me “brotha” to be nice.

WARREN: Alright man, damn. I’m sorry. (Silence.) I just thought we were close like that.

MAX: Let’s study some other time – I’ve gotta finish this paper.

WARREN: Max, come on man.

MAX: I’ll see you later or something.

WARREN: You’re being a diva. It’s not like I said –

MAX: Said what?

WARREN: Max, come on, I’m sorry.

MAX: Nigger? Faggot? Just get out, Warren.

WARREN: Max, come on.

MAX: Just get out.

WARREN: Come on, man.

MAX: Do you know what its like to fight for acceptance? Everyday, I wake up, walk outside, and have to fight for a place in this straight white world. I can’t get upset without being called a diva. I can’t accomplish anything without someone mentioning the color of my skin and giving a not-so-subtle nod to affirmative action. So no, I’m not your “brotha” and I’m not going to apologize for refusing to be put in a box. Now get out, I gotta finish this paper.

WARREN: Max, you don’t have to be like this.

MAX: Get out, Warren. Get out!

WARREN: What – you think you’re the only one with problems? My life hasn’t been easy too, man. Don’t push me away for something this stupid. You can’t just cut people off when they hurt you a little. I said I was sorry and you know that I mean that. I actually think of you like a brother Max – race and sexuality have nothing to do with that.

MAX: Are you done?

WARREN: Max, come on.

MAX: Whatever, Warren.

WARREN: Seriously dude?

MAX: Yeah.

WARREN: Fuck you, Max. Good luck on the test.

Warren exits. Max sits in silence for a moment. He grabs his binder and throws it across the room.

Scene 5 – Small town Western Massachusetts.

Jack walks into the kitchen. Naomi is cooking dinner. He has just come from his first track meet. He’s beaming.

NAOMI: How was it?

JACK: Amazing.

NAOMI: That’s great, Jack!

JACK: I placed first for both the 100 and the 200.

NAOMI: Jack! That’s incredible, bud. I knew you would do it.

JACK: Thanks, Ma.

NAOMI: Well it’s a good thing you did so well because I’m making your favorite.

JACK: Lasagna?

NAOMI: Yup.

JACK: Oh.

NAOMI: Oh?

JACK: I actually think I’ll pass.

NAOMI: Very funny, Jack.

JACK: No seriously.

NAOMI: Why?

JACK: That’s a lot of carbs.

NAOMI: Carbs? What the hell are you talking about?

JACK: I’m just trying to eat better. It helps with the seizures. Also, I want to get in better shape for track.

NAOMI: Yeah that just means no junk food – you can eat lasagna, Jack.

JACK: No I’m good.

NAOMI: You’re being silly.

JACK: I’ll just have a salad with some turkey.

NAOMI: I made this for you bud.

JACK: I know, thank you. I just think I want a salad instead.

NAOMI: You’re fifteen years old – you don’t need to be dieting.

JACK: It’s not a diet, it’s just eating healthier.

NAOMI: It sounds like a diet, Jack.

JACK: Mom, it’s fine.

NAOMI: I don’t want you playing with your health like this.

JACK: Mom, relax.

NAOMI: No, I’m serious Jackson.

JACK: Okay, I get it.

NAOMI: So you can have a piece of lasagna.

JACK: I want salad.

NAOMI: Jack.

JACK: Okay.

Pause.

NAOMI: I just want you to be healthy, bud.

JACK: Me too.

NAOMI: When’s the last time you had a seizure?

JACK: Last week, remember?

NAOMI: You haven’t had any since?

JACK: Nope, not really.

NAOMI: Yes?

JACK: I had a small one after the meet.

NAOMI: Really?

JACK: Yeah.

NAOMI: Maybe you just stick to one event per meet?

JACK: No Mom, I’ll be fine. I just didn’t sleep enough last night. And eating healthier will help.

NAOMI: Jack, your health is something you have to take seriously.

JACK: And my happiness isn’t?

NAOMI: If you want to go back to Adams, you can’t be having seizures this frequently.

JACK: I know.

NAOMI: So it’s probably smart to stick to one event.

Silence.

NAOMI: Okay?

Silence.

NAOMI: Jackson.

JACK: Okay.

He turns to walk back outside.

NAOMI: Where are you going?

JACK: Out.

NAOMI: Dinner will be done in a few.

JACK: Okay.

NAOMI: I’m sorry, J.

Silence.

He exits.

Scene 6 – A place of thought.

JOSEPH: We have family in Baltimore. It’s crazy down there. All these riots aren’t going to get us anywhere – people need to start working hard and acting right.

MAX: I want to go down there. Destroy to make our anger known – do what has always been done to us. Baltimore is just the next step. Then it’ll be Compton, then Chicago, Detroit, Atlanta, Dallas. We can’t keep our anger bottled up and silenced for much longer. Sooner or later shit’s going to explode. They answer our pain with tanks and swat teams – that sounds like war to me. How many more black bodies need to lay on the pavement until we decide to fight back? Justice can be bloody sometimes but justice is worth a little blood. Riot is the language of the unheard, right? Well listen up.

JACK: I understand the riots. I sometimes feel like breaking things too. Have you ever had a seizure? You feel trapped – like there’s not enough space in the world to contain the energy surging through your body. Your bones shake. It hurts. But what’s worse is how you feel afterwards. After being beaten by my body like that I JACK: just want to take control, fight back. So I run. I run for hours. I run until my lungs break. So yeah, I understand the riots – I feel them every day.

CLARENCE: My whole family down in Baltimore – of course they mad. Why you think I moved up here? Can’t no black man get a job down there. Gangs are bad, shit’s falling apart, schools are bad. And what’s worse is that the white people live C real nice. Maybe niggas don’t got to be burnin shit, but can you blame ‘em for bein angry?

Scene 7 – Southern California.

Max is standing outside the admissions office protesting with several other students. He holds a sign that reads “YOU KILLED HER.”

Chris pushes his way through the crowd and taps Max on the shoulder. Max turns around. Chris has changed, really.

MAX: Not now, Chris.

CHRIS: You knew I was coming.

MAX: I said we could talk later.

CHRIS: I want to talk now.

MAX: Not a good time.

CHRIS: What’s this about?

MAX: Alicia Roberts.

CHRIS: Who’s that?

MAX: A trans woman of color who was attacked on campus last week. The school did nothing about it and she died in the hospital yesterday.

CHRIS: Shit. Did you know her?

MAX: No.

CHRIS: Oh.

MAX: It’s about solidarity.

CHRIS: Got it.

MAX: So we can talk later.

CHRIS: Can’t you just step away for a minute?

MAX: Chris, later.

CHRIS: Max, please.

MAX: You’re lucky I’m talking to you at all. What is this about?

CHRIS: Just give me two minutes.

MAX: Chris.

CHRIS: Please.

MAX: Okay.

They walk away from the crowd.

MAX: What is it?

CHRIS: I’m sorry.

MAX: For?

CHRIS: Everything.

MAX: Okay.

CHRIS: I mean it.

MAX: Okay.

CHRIS: That’s it?

MAX: Yup.

Silence.

CHRIS: Max, I still love you.

MAX: Fuck off. We’re done here.

Turns to leave.

CHRIS: Max, stop. Just let me talk for a minute.

MAX: Okay, Chris. Talk.

CHRIS: I’m getting help.

MAX: That’s good.

CHRIS: I’m taking the semester off and seeing a doctor. I haven’t had anything to drink in weeks. I’m really getting better.

MAX: That’s really good, Chris, but it doesn’t change anything.

CHRIS: You said you wanted to make it work.

MAX: That was almost a year ago, before you cheated on me.

CHRIS: I won’t do something like that again.

MAX: Chris, I’m sorry, no.

CHRIS: Max, give me a chance.

MAX: I can’t, Chris.

CHRIS: I love you.

MAX: Chris, no.

CHRIS: Why not?

MAX: You really hurt me.

CHRIS: I know. I’m sorry.

MAX: Sorry doesn’t cut it.

CHRIS: Just give me the chance to show you that I’ve changed.

MAX: People don’t change – you know that as well as I do.

CHRIS: Yes they do – I have.

MAX: No they don’t.

CHRIS: Max, please.

MAX: I’m sorry, no.

Max turns to leave.

CHRIS: Please.

MAX: Not again, Chris. I can’t.

CHRIS: I’m not your father, Max.

MAX: Goodbye, Chris.

CHRIS: Max.

MAX: Goodbye.

He walks back to the protest. Chris rubs his wrists.

Scene 8 – Small town Western Massachusetts.

An empty church. It’s not a particularly pretty church, but it’s peaceful. Dark and peaceful. Joseph enters. High. He remembers his grandfather – he used to be a pastor in this church. He remembers his Sunday morning sermons that always lasted thirty minutes too long. He remembers thinking his father would show up. He remembers every time he didn’t. He sits in one of the back pews. He looks to God.

JOSEPH: Hey. It’s been a few months, I know. But I really – okay I’m here and I need you right now. I… I need… help… with all this. My mind is all fogged up – I can’t think right now. What do I do? Just give me the answers because I’m all fogged up and I can’t think right now. I love her. She is the mother of my sons and, and I will always love her but I can’t – I need help. I want to disappear. I want to fall into a black hole and disappear forever. This is all too hard, man. I need you. I really really need you, father. I need some advice, help, guidance – I’ve been trying to do this on my own but I’m lost. I don’t know who I am or where I am or where I’m going. Just make me disappear. Just make it go away. I hurt so bad, Lord. Please just make it go away. (Pause.) Why didn’t he love me? All I ever wanted was to spend time with him but he never came around. Why not? Huh? He didn’t love me, right? Well why not?! Why the fuck not?! What did I do wrong? Look at me! Look at me! Where did I go wrong? Help! I need help! Look at me! I NEED HELP!

He drops to his knees.

Scene 9 – Small town Western Massachusetts.

Naomi is at the kitchen table looking at bills. Jack walks in from running. He’s been gone for a few hours. He’s breathing heavily.

NAOMI: Hey bud, you okay.

JACK: Yeah.

NAOMI: You sure? Why don’t you come sit down?

He sits down at the table.

NAOMI: I’ll get you some water.

She goes to the sink to get him a glass of water. He begins seizing. Naomi puts the glass down and runs over to him. It lasts only twenty seconds. When it’s over he puts his hands over his face. Naomi rubs his back.

NAOMI: You okay, bud?

JACK: Yeah.

NAOMI: Deep breaths.

JACK: I know.

NAOMI: Do you want to go lay down?

JACK: No I’m fine.

NAOMI: Okay let me grab you water.

She goes back to get his water. Jack gets up and heads toward the door.

NAOMI: What are you doing?

JACK: Going outside.

NAOMI: Why?

JACK: To run.

NAOMI: Jack, no.

JACK: Mom please.

NAOMI: No. Sit down.

JACK: Ma, I can’t sit still right now.

NAOMI: Well you need to.

JACK: I’m okay. It was a small one.

NAOMI: Sit.

JACK: Mom.

NAOMI: Sit.

JACK: Okay.

NAOMI: Thank you.

Jack sits down.

NAOMI: No more of this. You’re hurting yourself.

JACK: I’m fine.

NAOMI: You worry me, J.

JACK: I’m fine.

NAOMI: Listen to me. You are hurting yourself. This needs to stop. No more running outside of practice, you eat what I prepare for you, and you take your health seriously. You want to be happy? Fight for it, Jackson. I’ve told you this before – if you want it, fight for it. I know its tough and I am here to help you but if to really want to take control, you need to start taking your health seriously. What would Max tell you to do? He’d say, “You gotta fight hard. The world doesn’t want you to win and you get to show them that they’re wrong about you. Enough of these childish diet games. Get smart, kid. Get smart.”

JACK: You’re right.

NAOMI: I know I am.

JACK: I’m sorry, Ma.

NAOMI: Don’t apologize to me – apologize to yourself. It’s time you start loving yourself.

JACK: Thank you.

NAOMI: I love you, Jackson.

JACK: I love you.

Scene 10 – Broken neighborhood Albany New York.

Clarence is drinking a beer. The TV is working now. He is watching a football game.

CLARENCE: Whatchu think Mr. Fish? Think we got it? They lookin real good out there – lookin like a championship team right now. (Pause. His team is about to score.) Okay… okay… OKAY! Just like that!

As he says this, he flings his arms back in celebration. He knocks the fish tank off the side table. It smashes to the floor.

CLARENCE: No no no no no no no no no!!!!

He jumps up off the couch and runs to the kitchen. He fills a bowl with water and runs back to Mr. Fish. He grabs Mr. Fish with his hands and puts him in the bowl of water.

CLARENCE: I’m sorry, I’m sorry Mr. Fish. Please don’t die, please don’t die on me now son. I need you boy – come on Mr. Fish. Please don’t be dead – come on now, you can’t do me like this. Please Mr. Fish. Don’t leave me now man. Who am I gonna talk to now? Huh? Ain’t got nobody to talk to without you. I need you son. Please don’t die, Mr. Fish. Please don’t die.

Mr. Fish is clearly dead.

CLARENCE: Shit. No no no no no shit no. No! NO! NO NO NO NO NO!

He drops the bowl.

Scene 11 – A place of thought.

The future.

JACK: I get healthy. Healthy enough to go back to Adams and run track. I take state two years in a row for the 200. I get a business degree from Stanford and become a sports manager. I manage three Olympic medalists and then go back to school to get a law degree. I’m happy. I marry a beautiful woman and have three beautiful daughters. My wife becomes partner at a big firm so I stop practicing to stay at home and take care of the girls. I’m happy. Sometimes my wife and I fight – not like mom and dad did – but that’s a part of being in love. It’s funny, for a while I thought it wasn’t possible – love, true love. But it is. And it’s messy. And sometimes we fight. But at the end of the day, I’m happy. I visit Ma at least once a month – everything that happened with Max was really hard on her. Max is a great guy but I don’t really look up to him in the same way. He could never let go of our childhood – never really got over dad’s stupid decisions. Mom never went back with dad – I’m proud of her for that. The girls love her – they always ask to stay with grandma after we visit. I’m happy – I think Ma’s happy too.

MAX: I graduate and go on to work as a journalist for a radical black newspaper. I continue to get involved in the movement in any way that I can – I get arrested six times. The last time was bad – I got into an altercation with a cop and it got pretty messy. Scared Ma pretty bad when that happened – she doesn’t quite understand why I fight for what I fight for; privilege I guess. You know, privilege is crazy thing. We rail and rail against it – I do – but I know that if I had it, I sure as hell wouldn’t be making as much noise as I do. But fuck them. My anger is justified. If I have to live in fear, you can too. Keep moving. Keep fighting. I don’t really talk to anyone I used to. Haven’t had a friend in a while. I never spoke to Warren again; that was the last time I saw Chris. I move on. I’m living in Atlanta now. I don’t see Mom for several years at a time – I miss her, I really do, but sometimes its just too hard to remember the past. Keep moving forward. Keep fighting.

JOSEPH: I don’t get clean. All the drugs start to take a toll on my body and I get pretty sick. I end up in the hospital for a few weeks but then get out fine. I cut down. For a little while. I get busted buying from my buddy and spend a few months in jail. Never got sober after that. Addiction is a crazy thing. I’m an addict. I can say that now. I am addicted to drugs. And they say that’s all it takes. You just gotta say it out loud and then you can start getting better. But that’s not true. I’ve said it. I can keep saying it – I’m an addict, I’m an addict, I’m an addict. See, no more denial. But the tricky thing here is that I don’t care. This is my life. I’m not happy; I still wish I could disappear; I am an addict – but this is my life – I am alive. That’s more than I can say about most black men my age. Never really talked to Max again. Haven’t seen the rest of my family in years. “My family” – sounds weird. I guess Naomi was right – just another one of my illusions. Apparently I had a lot of those. I’ll die soon – liver complications. Jack will be the only one at the funeral. I understand. I’ve hurt a lot of people in my life. But don’t forget, they hurt me too.

CLARENCE: I got me a new fish but it wasn’t quite the same. Still miss that fish. Viv leaves me after a few years. I spend the last five years alone – I watch TV, watch the news, but don’t have no real conversations with nobody. I saw Max on the news few months back. He’s gay; sweet lil nigga now. I knew that shit would happen – we losin’ the men of this world. Now two men can get married – that shit just don’t make no sense to me. Find it in the bible – then I’ll understand – but that shit just don’t make no sense to me. Wish I had that damn fish to smoke with. I think about calling Joe up – have my boy come keep his Pops company… I decide not to. Don’t need another man’s comfort. But that fish would be nice to talk to – kinda lonely now. I die alone. Don’t nobody come to my funeral. I ain’t surprised though – I’m just another dead nigga.

END ACT 2

Epilogue.

A poem.

NAOMI: Papa shot the crow. Took too many Pennies and dimes Off the streets and sidewalks. Circled and Circled and Circled too many Times and Papa shot the crow. Plucked the feathers Off and buried that bird In a field of heathers. Told me “Never go back to that field,” But I kept Going back Back to that Blackbird That beautiful, beautiful blackbird. I know why he died for me. Now listen to A black man’s eulogy.

End play.