PAGE 16 THE RETRIEVER WEEKLY FEATURES November 19, 1996 THE PEEL DEAL / MOVIE REVIEWS

New on Video... Independence Day Is a Close Encounter of the Worst Kind Schwimmer Makes Some New Friends in The Pallbearer

Jamie Peck Retriever Weekly Staff Writer

Independence Day (* 1/2 out of four) Huge spaceships hover over important cities. Slithery aliens blow up national monuments. America gets together and launches a counter attack. What's not to like? As it turns out, a lot. Independence Day is one of the year's biggest File Photo overstuffed bores and very worst It's the end of the world as we know it when aliens attack United movies. States army camp in Independence Day. The movie is patterned like one that they're practically impossible to their $4 to see this movie? But it of those all-star 1970s disaster get interested in. all fits into the big picture, because flicks, and, at least, in its cast, it This is the kind of film where insult its viewers' intelligence is doesn't disappoint. It stars, to name someone punches out an alien after what Independence Day does best. a few, Jeff Goldblum, Will Smith, seeing it for the first time, or WARN- We're supposed to root for the Bill Pullman, Randy Quaid, Judd ING! PLOT GIVEAWAY a virus is human characters here -- but John Doe / Touchstone Pictur Hirsch, Mary McDonnell, Robert downloaded from a laptop onto a they're so cardboard that you Mel Gibson hits the local airwaves to turn on his son's abductors in Ron Howard's Ransom. Loggia and Harry Connick, Jr. spaceship that was made some-bil- kinda want the aliens to win. And However, they're all used poorly. lion light years away. what's so scary about the aliens? For a movie in which the White There's one scene where the presi- They're rarely seen, and when they Ransom: Howard's Great Payoff House blows up, it's surprisingly dent (Pullman) criticizes someone for are, they're derivative of the short on thrills. The situations In- finding the mass death exciting. Isn't beasties in the Alien trilogy. Oh, dependence Day offers up are so he, in effect, criticizing the millions but these things have tentacles. Mel Gibson Plays a Terrified Dad in a Riveting New Thriller! illogical and devoid of any feeling of movie-goers who plunked down Whatever. Jamie Peck He offers the ransom as a bounty on over. Retriever Weekly Staff Writer the kidnappers' heads. The scene The kidnappers, by the way, fund Mrs. Winterbourne (•) Ricki through the role like she'd rather where he does this — over local tele- tion as good film villains. The scenes} Lake plays pregnant white trash who be somewhere else. She and the What would you do if someone vision — works astoundingly. We're in which they torture Sean both men-: lands in the right place at the right rest of the cast brandish her baby you loved disappeared in broad day- shown split-second reaction shots of tally and physically are uneasy to bet time — a train wreck where her new with the utmost jerkiness, making light? That's the question posed by the antagonists themselves ... it sure, but the movie doesn't linger rich companions are killed and she you fear for the child's safety ev- Ransom (•••1/2 out of four), Ron makes for great, thrilling drama. over them. They very easily could is mistaken for one of them, throw- ery time someone picks him up. Howard's dark, masterful thriller that Here's where things get tricky: We have been turned into manipulative ing her right into the lap of luxury. Judging from this movie, Lake features a smart, complex screenplay the viewers know, as Tom can only exploitation, but in the hands of With Shirley MacLaine as Lake's should have an episode of her own by Richard Price and Alexander suspect and Kate and the FBI surveil- Howard, it's not. Ransom contains crumudgeonly, alleged mother-in- called "What's Up? My Courtesy of Ignon and a surprising tour de force lance team watching things from some very exciting twists and turns law, you've got the makings of a Big Movie Was a Big Flop." She from star Mel Gibson. their house (and lead by Delroy which I will not even dream of re-3 Ricki Lake is welcomed by good comedy, but the movie manages can interview herself. At least that He plays Tom Mullen, an ex- Lindo) do not, that the kidnappers vealing, most involving the kidnap Winterbournes Brendan to be both totally contrived and ri- would be more entertaining than tremely rich and successful airline have no intention of returning their pers, whom I have purposely saidf Fraser and Shirley MacLaine. diculous, and the lead actress walks Mrs. Winterbourne. tycoon. He has a seemingly happy son alive. After they pick up the cash, little about. homelife with his wife, Kate (Renee they want to dispose of the child. If Ransom has a few drawbacks^ The Pallbearer (•••) David Russo), and his son, Sean (Brawley Therefore, his motivations seem per- though, one of them must be their Schwimmer (Ross on NBC's Nolte, son to Nick). Until, that is, fectly logical to us. plan. At first they seem too unorga- Friends) plays Tom Thomson, a Sean disappears at a science fair in What's unique and surprising nized to pull off something like thisj sleepy-eyed 25-year-old who is Central Park. about Ransom is the way that it ex- and hope to get away with it. But that asked to deliver a eulogy at the fu- Before long, Tom and Kate receive plores the dilemma for the other shaky tangent is killed off quickly.! neral of an old schoolmate. e-mail — a ransom note complete point-of-view. Howard leaves the tug Another gripe: Gibson and Russo's" Problem: He has no idea who the with pictures of their son tied to a bed of war of wills hanging in your mind grieving scene upon finding out their guy is, even after sleeping with his and demanding a two million dollars for quite some time after the movie's son is being held captive is restricted femme fatale-ish mother (Barbara for his safe return. to a brief, one-minute segment. Hershey). There's a fantastic sequence where They're believable, but it wouldn't But that's O.K., because Tom's Gibson makes the drop off — he's have hurt to show the actors play up newfound elevated status also more or less led on a wild goose the emotion a little bit more. gives him the opportunity --and the chase that includes side trips to the Speaking of the actors, all .are cast courage -- to go for the girl ■ local pool and ends up at a construc- smartly (and in Gary Sinise-'s case, (Gwynyth Paltrow) he never had tion sight. Without giving away what against type, too), but this is Gibson's the guts to ask out. happens, the whole situation goes movie and he is fantastic in it. If you think it sounds like The wrong and ends in a hail of gunfire. Ransom climaxes with a spectacu- Graduate, you've hit the nail on the Tom, of course, survives the incident, lar mano-a-mano showdown that's head, but the overly-familiar sce- but he takes with him the feeling that one of the best on-foot chases in quite nario brings about way more nos- even if the transaction was made, his some time. It's a showcase for both talgia than dislike, and Schwimmer son would still die. director and star, who establish ten- does the nerdy loser thing with Courtesy of Entertainment Weekly So, he does the unthinkable. He Renee Russo, as Gibson's wife, sion and make it run through the deep conviction. It's a surprisingly launches a scheme that may or may would rather go ahead and pay movie from opening scene to clos- dark movie, lightened occasionally David Schwimmer and Gwyneth Paltrow have a rollercoaster not endanger the kid's life even more: the kidnappers off. ing credits. by the warmness he and Paltrow ra- romance in The Pallbearer. diate. churns up its final (and heartbreak- It thankfully avoids the super- r The Pallbearer is by no means ing) surprise twist, you'll be intoxi- happy upbeat peppiness it could groundbreaking, but by the time it cated with its pleasantly gloomy tone. have very well possessed. Also Playing at Your Local Theater... The Associate (**l/2 out of els, an obese lawyer (Robert John And playing tomorrow night on Stealing Beauty (*l/2) Bernardo flirts her way through the villa's four) plays an Burke) is cursed by a gypsy into campus is... Trainspotting (•••!/ Bertolucci returns to cinematic disas- male populace and makes every- overlooked financial advisor on quick and easy weight loss ... but 2) Brit Danny Boyle's extremely ters after 1993's Little Buddha with one horny. Wall Street who hits it big when she Jenny Craig is nowhere to be found. dark comedy depicts what turns this totally appalling romantic drama Stealing Beauty is pleasing to invents a Caucasian male alter-ego. Stupid, ugly and very much a waste people on about heroin - thus ren- set in Tuscany and starring an inter- the eye — both Tyler and the scen- The movie never quite establishes of 92 minutes. dering it immediately controversial national cast of weirdos. ery are absolutely luscious - and comedic momentum, but it's pleas- William Shakespeare'sRomeo & during its summer release - but it Liv Tyler plays the main character Jeremy Irons is quite good as an ant, and Dianne Wiest is simply Juliet (••) This '90s Bard-adapta- also has a protagonist (played here — an American named Lucy who ailing gentleman, but it's depress- marvelous as a brainy secretary. tion has a huge drawback - it can't charismatically by Ewan Mac- Courtesy of Entertainment Weekly arrives at the residence of her ing that they're trapped in a totally Dear God (••) A sloppily-writ- decide whether to be a glittery send- Gregor) who knows he's on a Jeremy Irons and Liv Tyler family's friends to get in touch with uneventful, unerotic story. Go see ten trifle made survivable by Greg up or a modern straight-lace. The re- downward spiral. The movie fal- talk up a storm in Stealing her roots and lose her virginity. In- her in That Thing You Do! at the Kinnear's smug, effortless charm. sult is alternately obnoxious and nice ters a few times, but has depth and Beauty. stead, you'll lose your sanity as a she dollar theater instead. He plays a con artist forced to work and always disjointed, with the titu- insight and some great, memorable in the postal dead letter office and lar star-crossed lovers played won- characters. finds himself responding to miracu- derfully by Leonardo DiCaprio and What do you think? E-mail com- WHY DID BOB DOLE HAVE A PROBLEM lous requests. Claire Danes. ments [email protected]. High School High (•••1/2) WITH TRAINSPOTTING? Jon Lovitz teaches at a notoriously deadly inner-city high school in this THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO FIND OUT... David Zucker helmed Dangerous Minds spoof. The jokes and sight gags are pulled off with maximum THE SEB PRESENTS velocity, and this funny flick is the best send-up since the Naked Gun series. Sleepers (•••) Four young face sexual torture at the hands of pe- dophile guards in a boys' correc- tional facility in the '60s; when they're all grown up, they hatch an intricate and unintentional plan of revenge. This one's full of gaping plot holes, but stellar performances Place - Lecture Hall II and Barry Levinson's slick direc- Showtimes - 7:30 & 10 p.m. tion pull it off. Stephen King's Thinner (no File Photo Admission Price - $1 stars) In this el-cheapo take on one He's not taking the Nestea plunge... Ewan MacGregor goes the of the horror poobah's early nov- distance for drugs in Trainspotting.