January-February 2013

Winter in the Connecticut Hills, by Frederick Childe-Hassam.

The President's Letter

While writing this letter, I found it hard not to think about all that has happened over the last few weeks and couple of months. Yes, we celebrated the birth of our Lord, Jesus Christ, and rang in the new year! Joyous times! However, we were also deeply saddened by the loss of life. The tragedy at Sandy Hook Elementary School shook all of us to our cores! Several brothers and sisters in our community also lost loved ones over the past few weeks, myself included. However, we are reminded that he is always here--walking beside each of us, holding each of us in the palm of his hand. God does not discriminate; he listens to all our prayers. This was one of the many messages spoken during "A Night of Hope and Healing" that was held January 15 at The Webster Bank Arena at Harbor Yard, in Bridgeport. The evening was put together to provide strength and "Healing" a month following the tragedy at Sandy Hook. Max Lucado provided inspirational messages and reflections. , , , and were

among the Christian musical groups that helped to heal the emotional wounds of all those affected. I was moved Who Am I - Casting Crowns to the point of tears, especially when the lights were dimmed and all the names of those lost on December 14 were flashed around the arena. As I mentioned earlier, I also lost a member of my family, my Aunt, on December 18th. While going through her many papers, I came across a spiral notebook filled with her poems, prayers, and other writings. Here is one I would like to share with you, that I also shared at her memorial service.

The greatest Gift is God's love of Love itself and for those who feel it so deeply, for him and for others. These are the ones He blesses with the joy as well as the pain. The one does not cancel out the other, but the two flow side by side, each making the other more real, more poignant, more beautiful. For in Love, all are blessed, those who give and those who receive. The giving is the gift, for then the heart is opened and ready to receive. It stands joyous and trembling on the threshold of God's wondrous kingdom, a child filled with hope.

As we continue on our journey on our 4th day, and as we think about all we need to and want to do, as individuals and as a community, may we remember the free gift of God's love. We are all children of God, priceless and loved - Our God is an awesome God!

In Christ, Mark Thunem President

Note: The videos on YouTube from the Night of Hope and Healing are of poor visual quality, but videos of the songs performed are available elsewhere. Use the icon above to listen to "Who Am I" by Casting Crowns.

Also in This Issue

Getting Ready for Women's 97A From Candidate to Pescador: A Guide for Sponsorship The Tortoise and the Hare: Reflections on the Right Speed for a Spiritual Journey Announcements

Gardens at the Nazareth Spiritual Life Center in the spring. Scenes like this will greet the candidates for the next women's weekend, May 2-5.

Getting Ready for Women's 97A

By Debbie O'Meara Having served on several teams since my candidate weekend in 1993, I was feeling fairly confident that one day I would receive a call to serve as rector. Through the years, when I read a devotional or a scripture that touched my heart, I would rip it out of whatever booklet I was reading and tuck it away in a manila folder in my desk drawer. Over time, I would have several devotionals on the same scripture, and I stapled these together into little packets. The week before Thanksgiving (my favorite holiday), I received that phone call asking if I would serve as rector on Women's 97A. Knowing it would be a large time commitment, I prayed on it for a few days, checking and double checking my calendar for any obstacles. Seeing none, I called back Tim Pfeiffer, Chair of Rector's Nominating Committee, and said yes, I would be honored to serve. Dave Marks was kind enough to bring me an early Christmas present, the rector's start-up manual with step- by-step instructions. I noticed the first step was to pick a scripture for the weekend. It was time for me to sort through all those scraps of paper. My first choice had been used on a recent weekend, so I moved along to another packet, pondering it while my husband and I drove to Florida to spend Christmas and New Year's Eve. We arrived in Daytona Beach on Christmas Eve, and I called around to several churches to check worship schedules. We chose the 6:00 p.m. Christmas Eve service at Our Lady of Lourdes Catholic Church only a mile down the road. When we arrived, the church was aglow both inside and out in beautiful Christmas lights. The children were assembling in the foyer for the Christmas pageant, and everyone was singing and clapping, enjoying the joyous prelude music. We felt like we were at a secuela! It was wonderful! As I read the church bulletin to preview the service details, there-in front of my eyes- was the scripture I was pondering for the weekend:

"And whatever you do, in work or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." (Colossians 3:17)

I knew then this was the scripture God was calling me to use on Women's 97A! Along my Christian journey, I try to walk the walk and talk the talk. Both our words and our actions need to convey the same meaning. Whatever I say, whatever I do, I do through Him as a child of God "in the name of the Lord Jesus." Yes, some days I fall short, but I pick myself up and keep right on going. I appreciate that every day is a new day and every day is a gift from our Father above. I am most thankful for that gift and for all the joys in my life. I give thanks for the team and the community which will be supporting us in prayer and palanca as we prepare to receive the candidates God sends to attend Women's 97A. God's peace to you in the New Year.

To download candidate and sponsor forms, click the links below or go to to to the Resources tab on the Tres Dias Fairfield County website.

Candidate Application Sponsor Form

The Men's 97 weekend, postponed from last October, has been rescheduled for March 14-17. For a meditation on the weekend scripture by rector David Stubbs, see the September 2012 issue of The Upper Room, on the Resources tab at the Tres Dias Fairfield County website, tdfc.org.

From Candidate to Pescador... Understanding Your Role as Sponsor By Tracy and Denise Davis

We can be easily lulled into the belief that sponsorship is as simple as asking someone to attend a Tres Dias weekend. On the contrary-it's much, much more than that. Successful sponsorship is thoughtful and planned, and it must be a prayer-filled process. Sponsorship is best thought of as analogous to the three-legged stool we discuss on the weekend. In this case, however, we're talking about the three "legs" of the pescador's journey (the pre -weekend, weekend, and fourth day phases). Your job is to walk with and support your candidate on each leg of that journey. Begin with prayer. Ask God who He would have you sponsor for a weekend. Our best advice is to recall the love that you felt for God during your weekend and open your heart for showing and sharing that love. This is indeed the best way to promote both Christianity and Tres Dias.

Recall how your sponsor invited you. Either Your role as sponsor is to support they told you something that made you want your candidate on the three "legs" more or you saw something in them that made of a journey...the pre-weekend, you want to experience what they had. weekend, and fourth-day phases of Arrange for a time to speak to your friend. the Tres Dias experience. Be honest about your weekend and how it affected you. Give factual information about what goes on during the weekend, which you can do without spoiling the surprises. Promoting any kind of secrecy does more harm than good. Once your candidate has agreed to attend, review the application with your prospect. Ask about special needs or requests. These can be sleeping arrangements, diet restrictions, allergies, or anything the candidate feels he or she will need to be comfortable for the weekend. Most communities do their best to accommodate all reasonable requests, but it is important to team planning to know these things ahead of time. Be sure to encourage equal commitment from the candidate's spouse if applicable. Stay in contact with your candidate and his or her family during the pre-weekend phase. Make sure you let them know when you will be picking up the candidate for travel to the weekend site. Also, make sure the family has an accurate information on the length of the weekend and when to expect the candidate home on Sunday. Reassure the family and make sure they have contact information in case of emergencies. Support the weekend with prayer and palanca. Either you or your spouse should attend the mananita. Support the family by checking in on them and offering support or assistance. If you are serving on the weekend, request that your spouse check in for you. Perhaps the most neglected leg of the sponsorship journey is the fourth day. Make a point to meet with, call, and/or mail a note to the new pescador in the first few days after the weekend. Talk through the experience with him or her; help the pescador get connected with a reunion group. Invite him or her to accompany you to next sequela. Provide information for serving on future Tres Dias weekends. Encourage your new pescador to sponsor candidates by instructing them in the process. Overall, remember that successful sponsorship is prayerful and purposeful. When done in this manner, we help fulfill our mission of training servant leaders for their churches, and we create healthy Tres Dias communities as a byproduct.

Note: This article originally appeared in the Fall 2010 issue of the International Newsletter

The Tortoise and the Hare Reflections on the Right Speed for a Spiritual Journey By Gordon Mackenzie

I have no trouble recalling how I felt in the weeks leading up to my Tres Dias weekend. The session actually occurred over ten years ago, but it still seems so vivid and meaningful in my mind that the passage of time has not erased my feelings. In spite of the fact that my pastor had been so strong in her enthusiasm for what this experience would mean to my spiritual development, I still had some deep currents of apprehension. These negative feelings had their roots in several areas. First, I felt my Christian "maturity" was barely at the puberty level, and I feared I was about to enter a den of Bible-quoting experts who would know not only all the appropriate passages for every situation but also the correct chapter and verse. Secondly, my religious upbringing was sketchy at best; my parents were occasional Unitarians (need I say more?), with my younger brother and myself dispatched by bike on Sundays to attend the local church Sunday school. Later, at boarding school, I was required to attend church five designated times a week, which was enough to make my teenage soul rebel against any future religious dogma and conformity. Lastly, the apparently intentional secrecy and mystery surrounding the contents of the program ("just wait until you get there, please") was not a happy response to my personality profile, which abhors a vacuum. But my soul had grown thirsty for spiritual growth. At age 35 I had married Sally, a Wheaton College (Illinois) graduate with a strong church background who was attending church regularly. As time went by our three children came along and they became involved as well with church programs. I began attending on a regular basis, and then getting more involved with church volunteer activities. And this led to my arrival at the Tres Dias program. I could feel the warmth and support of the volunteer staff right from the start. I could see that everything was organized and structured with expertise and prayer. The attendees came from everywhere in the region, and from all walks of life--I was a corporate executive with IBM and my roommate was an ex-con who worked in a frozen-meat locker! It was during one of the early Rollos that I felt some of my apprehension return. The speaker told of how his young daughter had struggled against an incurable disease and, in spite of the best medical care and prayers from so many, the child passed away. It was not only emotional for him to tell it, but for all of us to hear, as we shared each painful step along the way. There was not a dry eye in the room, including mine. The message was how faith in God had sustained him and his family through this terrible ordeal. In fact, their faith was not only sustained but intensified. I wondered to myself how I would have done in the same situation. Another Rollo was given by a young man who was a recovering alcoholic. The nadir of his drinking life, after divorce and job loss, came when he found himself literally lying in a gutter, with his father dragging him away. He told how finding Christ saved him from himself. It was a conversion experience that gave him the will and determination to change his life for the better and to reach a pinnacle in his commitment to Christ and His teachings. I asked myself, "I wonder if it's necessary to hit bottom before you can truly attain a conversion-level spiritual experience and rise to the mountain top? Do you have to know deep darkness in order to see the light? Was my comparatively blessed and crisis-free life a hindrance to becoming a good Christian? " As the years have passed, I think not. I believe the development of a strong Christian faith can be accomplished one step at a time, while others may reach that destination quickly, perhaps accelerated by the catalyst of tragedy and crisis. I see many others whom I perceive as solid Christians whose life stories are similar to mine- -a happy childhood, with modest religious experiences and commitment in early life, followed by a spiritual void that is gradually filled through church service attendance, Bible studies, self-reflection, prayer, small groups and other church community activities, and participation in church leadership. And in my own experience, the Tres Dias program was the most important step along this journey. Yes, I believe the "tortoise" can reach the mountaintop as well as the "hare."

News and Announcements We would like to thank all those who responded to our recent appeals. To date, we have received almost $5,000, which allows us to say to each candidate, "Your weekend expenses are fully paid." (At the end of the weekend, candidates are invited to make a gift to support future candidates, but total contributions generally fall short of total weekend expenses.)

It's not too late to make a contribution. Send checks to Nathaniel Christian, Treasurer, 94 William Street, Yonkers, NY, 10701.

Upcoming Weekends Consider sponsoring a Secuela at your Church! Men's 97--March 14-17, 2013 Women's 97A-May2-5, 2013 Tres Dias International Men's 98-October 3-7, 2013 also Women's 98-November 14-17. publishes an e-mail 2013 newsletter. Click this link to read recent issues and subscribe. International Newsletter Visit our website Send comments to this at tdfc.org issue to the editor, Don Bohl: [email protected]