July 2005 Vol. 2 No. 2 sangha, that community in the zendo. whose support I am upheld Eventually, though, obsta- by even when I am not physi- cles give way to opportunities cally present. for practice. Anxieties fade And, yet, obstacles to long- as I let go into the structure distance practice abound. of each new day, as I give Ironically, my practice is myself over to the rhythm of most vulnerable when I am the sangha—the sitting peri- driving from home to sesshin. ods punctuated by kin-hin, Like clockwork, about half work practice, meals taken way between Maine and together, rising at the dawn Still Garrison or Seven Meadows bell, retiring after chanting . Farm, my mind asserts itself. the evening gatha. I know News from Still Mind Zendo "David, why are you driving that with proper effort and five hours in order to sit attention, I will be carried by around with folks whom you the sangha. For one who has barely know? Are you crazy? for so long practiced in soli- Why not just save yourself tude, this discipline and these some trouble, turn around, rhythms are profoundly It Is Not Near, and go home?" restorative. I cherish each Last November, caught in a moment, knowing that just late autumn snowstorm in this will sustain me in the Massachusetts, I did exactly weeks and months ahead, that. After a raging inner when my spine weakens and It Is Not Far debate, the pull of being at my practice flags. home with family won out The Sandokai says: "When by David S. Heald over driving through haz- you walk the Way, it is not ardous, uncertain conditions near, it is not far." For the only to arrive exhausted in long-distance student—for New York. As difficult as it any of us—what is near? was, I believe I made the What is far? In an ultimate right decision, but knowing sense, we are all right here On the low wooden altar and encouraged, my energy that it would be nearly eight right now, taking the ever against the wall a candle is lit renewed, my determination months between sesshins was present path—the and a stick of incense burns; strengthened, my faith nearly the undoing of my Enlightened Way—together. there is a small figure of the restored. It never ceases to practice. I spoke with Sensei At one level, it makes little Buddha, a flower, and a bowl amaze me. What minutes on the phone several days difference whether we live of water. At 9:05 A.M, I take before may have felt like a later. There was no judgment three hundred miles or three my place on the cushions in lost cause now feels like the about my failing to show up, from the zendo. the corner of my study set most important work I do. only compassionate clarity, On several occasions, aside for zazen, portable At times, it feels like being reflecting that still mind that Sensei has said that she phone in hand, and dial a long-distant student is nigh was present all along, neither would not have the strength Sensei from my home in unto impossible. More and here nor there. to practice alone as I do. But southern Maine. Janet more I have come to appreci- Other obstacles occur upon I do not practice alone. answers. As always, I am ate that there can be no arrival at sesshin. Distance Thanks to her efforts and to struck by her energy, her enduring Zen practice apart makes familiarity difficult. I yours, the practice has been enthusiasm, the sense that she from the sangha. Over the have come to know many of graciously extended to me is genuinely delighted to be long haul, solitary sitting can- the members of the sangha, and to the other long-distance speaking with me. It has not be sustained. It is just too but there are those whose students. However infre- been at least two weeks since difficult to motivate oneself, names I should know but quently we may meet in per- last we spoke, possibly to be one’s own monitor, to have forgotten. Inevitably, son, you are my sangha. You longer. At times I wonder create one’s own structure. there are those new members sustain the impossible work how I will ever fit all that I But it is possible—just possi- whom I have not met. And of my practice as, in whatev- have to report since our last ble—if one has a teacher who there is the zendo protocol. er small and distant way, I "phone daisan" into our con- meets one half way, if listen- Will I remember the proper trust that I sustain yours. versation. At times I feel ing to dharma talks has been "etiquette" or will I make a And for this I bow and am deeply reluctant about shar- made easy, if there is a physi- fool of myself? Sitting alone deeply grateful. ing the details of what feels cal sangha in whose life and all those months, will my sit- like a flagging practice. At practice one may periodically ting posture be correct? My still other times it seems as if participate and where one is heart races as, in the first I have nothing at all to say. made to feel welcome. For afternoon of sesshin, the Thirty or forty minutes later, me, Sensei is that teacher. monitor slowly passes by me I hang up feeling supported And Still Mind Zendo is that To sit alone day after day without "zendo energy"… and companionship that prac- The sangha leadership and tice with a sangha brings, myself do as much as we can deeply reinforces my own Zen to be of support. Thanks to work. It’s true that all daisans Mark Rubin, our creative web Learning from are a source of energy and an master, we provide internet ever-widening vision for me. audio transmission of dharma I’ve always considered it a talks a few days after they are the zendo’s long- deeply moving experience to given; Long-Distance be able to speak with people Students are always included on such an intimate and deep in zendo service when they are level, speaking a "language", with us, either at sesshin or on distance students the language of Zen, that zazenkai days; and we stay most people are not able to connected through internet speak. It never ceases to pro- membership posting and By Janet Jiryu Abels, Sensei pel my own practice – to stiff- email. But none of this can en my lagging spine, to add remotely compensate for what further resolve, to show me a zendo and a physical sangha The practice of Zen, as we members the Long-Distance how to see with new eyes and, can provide. all know, can be extremely Students. Their right effort above all, to confirm my faith And this, of course, is one of elusive, even for long-time encourages us all. and confidence in the Way. the great difficulties of sangha practitioners. It can drop out The Long-Distance Daisan is never tiring for in such a large country as the from under us in the blink of Students are men and women me. It is invigorating. United States. Zen, in addition an eye when crises arise, who either practiced with our But daisan with Long- to the primacy of zazen, is when familiar patterns are sangha in New York City and Distance Students provides a greatly based on the broken, when the pull of the then moved to other cities level of energy that is, at student/teacher relationship – relative world and the condi- and towns or who have sat times, extraordinary because I that one-to-one contact tioned mind is strong or when with us at sesshins in the past never cease to marvel at their through which dharma is the body is weakened through and wanted to remain con- level of commitment. transmitted. When student and illness. Developing a daily nected to us in spite of living Although one can never know, teacher practice in the same zazen discipline at a continu- far away. of course, I don’t think I could zendo, this relationship is not ally challenging level, no So, how is this relationship sustain, on my own, the deep too difficult to sustain. When matter where we are in our maintained? Their physical level of practice that the Long student and teacher live hun- practice, is the only way to be connection to the sangha is Distance Students sustain. To dreds of miles apart, the chal- prepared for such events and maintained primarily by their sit alone day after day without lenge is greater. the only way to live a life of necessary participation in the "zendo energy", to have no Facing this challenge and equanimity. summer week-long sesshin outer schedule provided, no finding solutions for it is one Sitting with a sangha, in a and in the two or three of the monitoring encouragement, to of the tasks we, at Still Mind zendo which provides a weekend sesshins we hold have none of the supportive Zendo and I as a teacher, are scheduled structure, supports during the year. Sesshin is, of companionship found in the striving to address by setting us in the development of this course, the heart of Zen prac- sangha room, no sharing at up our long-distance discipline. tice and without this such a sangha meetings – in short to student/teacher model. The It is, therefore, a continuing relationship could not be sus- have none of the many bene- dedication of the Long- source of admiration and tained. fits of sangha we, who live Distance Students is proving deep respect for me, as a Zen They also meet with me in within walking or commuting to us that it works. teacher, to observe and be what we call "phone daisan" distance of the zendo so take privy to the work of practi- at least once a month, if not for granted, must be extraor- tioners who do not have more often. We try to have dinarily difficult. access to a physical zendo or this take place right after a Yet, these good people do it. Sensei Abels is the resident one that is compatible with morning sitting – I sitting at And I can only salute them. teacher at Still Mind Zendo. their practice and who, in the NYC zendo and they sit- spite of this, ting at home. The session is continue to longer than the five to ten develop, on minutes in a daisan room – wild candle flame their own, a usually about thirty minutes no matter incense fiercely com- long, and it covers, as do all what you say mitted prac- daisan exchanges, practice, love tice that not koan work and life issues. it's clear Sensei Abels only sustains Doing phone daisan is one of on its leash them but, more often than the most satisfying things I not, changes the whole direc- do as a teacher. Sharing in tion of their lives. the difficulties of a mostly Gregory Abels © 2003 Gregory Abels © 2001 At Still Mind Zendo we call solitary practice without the this handful of practitioner infusion of energy, strength Here/There Still. News from Still Mind Zendo from The Seven By Dominic Cappello Meadows Poems Vol. 2 No. 2 July, 2005 I meant to move to Paris and gory called "must move." Be Editor leave the sangha. All my ener- in touch with my body as I sat Cynthia Brown gies were going into the move, with each "reason" to move. Many times Design anticipating it, imagining the I went home and took out my Mark Rubin new and better life I would sketchbook. I drew a tangled I have stopped have in a more attractive city mass of cords. The tangled Poetry Editors At this spot Jean Gallagher and a more enlightened coun- mass represented the reasons Gregory Abels try. I had given notice on my why I had to move. In many On the bank of the stream apartment in New York. ways this mass was a self-por- Production Personal items were going into trait. Then on the opposite Staring at the water and rocks Stephen Nadler storage with friends. Now I page I drew a number of Trying to make a poem Enso (sumi circle) was telling my Zen teacher that straight lines— the same artwork by I would soon be leaving. cords, untangled. I labeled Mayumi Ishiro I was more than ready to get each of the lines: money, out of the States. Of that, I was career, home, friends, politics, Today I see Still Mind Zendo is a non-sectar- convinced. Somehow I would spirituality. Why it was in vain make the move happen and Then I sat. I sat with the ian Zen community in the somehow re-create my person- image of the tangled cords. I Soto/Rinzai lineage of the White Plum Asangha. It was founded al, professional and spiritual sat with the image of the in 1994 by its now resident life as an expatriate. But I was straight lines. I sat with the teacher Sensei Janet Jiryu Abels. anxious, and after two years of words and issues. And then, I was looking Still Mind Zendo is incorporated sitting, my practice wasn’t most importantly, I sat with as a not-for-profit organization helping. I could not control nothingness. For one thing in the State of New York and run the thoughts of the move rac- The next morning I woke up by a Council (the Board of ing through my mind. after the first good sleep I’d Directors) made up of SMZ The teacher must have had in a month. members. sensed the anxiety I could not I realized that Paris would admit to. The "somehow" and always be there. It wasn’t Gregory Abels © 1999 Council President: Tom Carney the "better" in what I said may going anywhere–and neither Vice President: Gregory Abels have been what produced a was I. I was just where I need- Secretary: Julia McEvoy response so simple, direct, and ed to be, for now. Treasurer: Bill Manty pragmatic. Sit with all the I had used the tools I had Asst. Treasurer :Peggy Grote issues raised by the move. forged at the zendo to make a Cynthia Brown Look at all those issues care- huge decision, and along the Jean Gallagher fully— and individually, for way, rediscovered my commit- Peter McRobbie there really is no one big cate- ment to sitting. Mark Rubin Spiritual Director: Janet Jiryu Abels Ango:A Deeper Commitment Submissions for articles and poetry for Still. In the fall, Still Mind Zendo will be undertak- participants will be strongly encouraged to should be sent to: [email protected] ing its first Ango. The word "ango" means attend the November sesshin, as well as the "peaceful dwelling" and is traditionally a period extended zazenkai marking the Buddha's that monks set aside to devote more time and Enlightenment on December 10th, which will deeper commitment to practice and study. Such be the closing day of the Ango. A small fee commitment in a lay community, when practi- will be charged which will include materials for tioners must continue living in the world, is the the study evenings. Further instruction and particular challenge that Ango offers us. information will be given in the fall. Ango will cover six weeks, and those who The dates for Ango are as follows: Tuesday, Still Mind Zendo wish to participate will formally but privately November1st through Saturday, December 10th. The study Wednesdays will be November 2nd, 37 W. 17th Street sign on for various ways they can deepen their New York, N.Y. 10011 practice, both in the zendo and in life-Zen, dur- 16th, and 30th. The fall sesshin is November Phone 212-414-3128 ing that time. There will also be study time on 11th to the 13th. [email protected] three Wednesday evenings, led by Sensei, www.stillmindzendo.org devoted to exploring a Zen text or sutra, and Still Mind Zendo Schedule Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Morning Sitting Morning Sitting Morning Sitting Morning Sitting Morning Sitting Morning Sitting Arrive 7:20 A.M. Arrive 7:20 A.M. Arrive 7:20 A.M. Arrive 7:20 A.M. Arrive 7:20 A.M. Arrive 8:45 A.M. Sitting 7:30-8:30 Sitting 7:30-8:30 Sitting 7:30-8:30 Sitting 7:30-8:30 Sitting 7:30-8:30 Sitting 9:00-11:00 Tea (optional) Evening Sitting Intro to Zen* Evening Sitting Arrive 6:40 P.M. 1st and 3rd Wed. Arrive 6:40 P.M. Sitting 7:00-9:00 eve. of each month Sitting 7:00-9:00

For First-Time Visitors About Becoming a Member Focusing Workshops: Ango to Still Mind Zendo Membership is an option for Intro Evenings: November 1 - December 10 Whether you are new to sitting those who have decided to Wednesday October 12 and Study Wednesdays: or have a long-held practice, make a longer-term commit- March 8 November 2, 16, 30 please call Still Mind Zendo at ment to their Zen practice with Weekend Workshops: (212) 414-3128 prior to visit- SMZ. Further information Saturday/.Sunday October 22- Registration for all Events ing the zendo for the first time. membership can be found on 23 and March 18-19 Please contact the zendo or For first-time Zen practition- the Membership Registration visit the web site for event ers, we recommend that you Form available at the zendo or Zazenkai (all day sitting): information and registration. register for our Introduction to on our website. September 17 Zendo Location & Contact Info Zen. October 15 Still Mind Zendo December 10* 37 W. 17th Street, 6th floor *Introduction to Zen Special Dates and Events January 14 New York, N.Y. 10011 Twice a month the zendo Weekend Sesshin: March 11 Between 5th & 6th Avenues offers newcomers an November 11-13, 2005 May 20 Introduction to Zen workshop. February 10 - 12, 2006 June 24 Telephone: (212) 414-3128. Please visit our website for –Garrison, N.Y. From 9A.M. to 5:30 P.M. [email protected] details or call us for a April 7-9 (at SMZ in the city) * 8:00 A.M.– 9:00 P.M. www.stillmindzendo.org brochure.