July 2005 Vol. 2 No. 2 sangha, that community in the zendo. whose support I am upheld Eventually, though, obsta- by even when I am not physi- cles give way to opportunities cally present. for practice. Anxieties fade And, yet, obstacles to long- as I let go into the structure distance practice abound. of each new day, as I give Ironically, my practice is myself over to the rhythm of most vulnerable when I am the sangha—the sitting peri- driving from home to sesshin. ods punctuated by kin-hin, Like clockwork, about half work practice, meals taken way between Maine and together, rising at the dawn Still Garrison or Seven Meadows bell, retiring after chanting . Farm, my mind asserts itself. the evening gatha. I know News from Still Mind Zendo "David, why are you driving that with proper effort and five hours in order to sit attention, I will be carried by around with folks whom you the sangha. For one who has barely know? Are you crazy? for so long practiced in soli- Why not just save yourself tude, this discipline and these some trouble, turn around, rhythms are profoundly It Is Not Near, and go home?" restorative. I cherish each Last November, caught in a moment, knowing that just late autumn snowstorm in this will sustain me in the Massachusetts, I did exactly weeks and months ahead, that. After a raging inner when my spine weakens and It Is Not Far debate, the pull of being at my practice flags. home with family won out The Sandokai says: "When by David S. Heald over driving through haz- you walk the Way, it is not ardous, uncertain conditions near, it is not far." For the only to arrive exhausted in long-distance student—for New York. As difficult as it any of us—what is near? was, I believe I made the What is far? In an ultimate right decision, but knowing sense, we are all right here On the low wooden altar and encouraged, my energy that it would be nearly eight right now, taking the ever against the wall a candle is lit renewed, my determination months between sesshins was present path—the and a stick of incense burns; strengthened, my faith nearly the undoing of my Enlightened Way—together. there is a small figure of the restored. It never ceases to practice. I spoke with Sensei At one level, it makes little Buddha, a flower, and a bowl amaze me. What minutes on the phone several days difference whether we live of water. At 9:05 A.M, I take before may have felt like a later. There was no judgment three hundred miles or three my place on the cushions in lost cause now feels like the about my failing to show up, from the zendo. the corner of my study set most important work I do. only compassionate clarity, On several occasions, aside for zazen, portable At times, it feels like being reflecting that still mind that Sensei has said that she phone in hand, and dial a long-distant student is nigh was present all along, neither would not have the strength Sensei from my home in unto impossible. More and here nor there. to practice alone as I do. But southern Maine. Janet more I have come to appreci- Other obstacles occur upon I do not practice alone. answers. As always, I am ate that there can be no arrival at sesshin. Distance Thanks to her efforts and to struck by her energy, her enduring Zen practice apart makes familiarity difficult. I yours, the practice has been enthusiasm, the sense that she from the sangha. Over the have come to know many of graciously extended to me is genuinely delighted to be long haul, solitary sitting can- the members of the sangha, and to the other long-distance speaking with me. It has not be sustained. It is just too but there are those whose students. However infre- been at least two weeks since difficult to motivate oneself, names I should know but quently we may meet in per- last we spoke, possibly to be one’s own monitor, to have forgotten. Inevitably, son, you are my sangha. You longer. At times I wonder create one’s own structure. there are those new members sustain the impossible work how I will ever fit all that I But it is possible—just possi- whom I have not met. And of my practice as, in whatev- have to report since our last ble—if one has a teacher who there is the zendo protocol. er small and distant way, I "phone daisan" into our con- meets one half way, if listen- Will I remember the proper trust that I sustain yours. versation. At times I feel ing to dharma talks has been "etiquette" or will I make a And for this I bow and am deeply reluctant about shar- made easy, if there is a physi- fool of myself? Sitting alone deeply grateful. ing the details of what feels cal sangha in whose life and all those months, will my sit- like a flagging practice. At practice one may periodically ting posture be correct? My still other times it seems as if participate and where one is heart races as, in the first I have nothing at all to say. made to feel welcome. For afternoon of sesshin, the Thirty or forty minutes later, me, Sensei is that teacher. monitor slowly passes by me I hang up feeling supported And Still Mind Zendo is that To sit alone day after day without "zendo energy"… and companionship that prac- The sangha leadership and tice with a sangha brings, myself do as much as we can deeply reinforces my own Zen to be of support. Thanks to work. It’s true that all daisans Mark Rubin, our creative web Learning from are a source of energy and an master, we provide internet ever-widening vision for me. audio transmission of dharma I’ve always considered it a talks a few days after they are the zendo’s long- deeply moving experience to given; Long-Distance be able to speak with people Students are always included on such an intimate and deep in zendo service when they are level, speaking a "language", with us, either at sesshin or on distance students the language of Zen, that zazenkai days; and we stay most people are not able to connected through internet speak. It never ceases to pro- membership posting and By Janet Jiryu Abels, Sensei pel my own practice – to stiff- email. But none of this can en my lagging spine, to add remotely compensate for what further resolve, to show me a zendo and a physical sangha The practice of Zen, as we members the Long-Distance how to see with new eyes and, can provide. all know, can be extremely Students. Their right effort above all, to confirm my faith And this, of course, is one of elusive, even for long-time encourages us all. and confidence in the Way. the great difficulties of sangha practitioners. It can drop out The Long-Distance Daisan is never tiring for in such a large country as the from under us in the blink of Students are men and women me. It is invigorating. United States. Zen, in addition an eye when crises arise, who either practiced with our But daisan with Long- to the primacy of zazen, is when familiar patterns are sangha in New York City and Distance Students provides a greatly based on the broken, when the pull of the then moved to other cities level of energy that is, at student/teacher relationship – relative world and the condi- and towns or who have sat times, extraordinary because I that one-to-one contact tioned mind is strong or when with us at sesshins in the past never cease to marvel at their through which dharma is the body is weakened through and wanted to remain con- level of commitment. transmitted. When student and illness. Developing a daily nected to us in spite of living Although one can never know, teacher practice in the same zazen discipline at a continu- far away. of course, I don’t think I could zendo, this relationship is not ally challenging level, no So, how is this relationship sustain, on my own, the deep too difficult to sustain. When matter where we are in our maintained? Their physical level of practice that the Long student and teacher live hun- practice, is the only way to be connection to the sangha is Distance Students sustain. To dreds of miles apart, the chal- prepared for such events and maintained primarily by their sit alone day after day without lenge is greater. the only way to live a life of necessary participation in the "zendo energy", to have no Facing this challenge and equanimity. summer week-long sesshin outer schedule provided, no finding solutions for it is one Sitting with a sangha, in a and in the two or three of the monitoring encouragement, to of the tasks we, at Still Mind zendo which provides a weekend sesshins we hold have none of the supportive Zendo and I as a teacher, are scheduled structure, supports during the year. Sesshin is, of companionship found in the striving to address by setting us in the development of this course, the heart of Zen prac- sangha room, no sharing at up our long-distance discipline. tice and without this such a sangha meetings – in short to student/teacher model.