The student newspaper of Imperial College H F Issue 1062 ELIX June 26th 1996 LIVE MUSI SHOWGIRLS A live hard house from JAMESHOCKLEY ROOM 1 Poodle Chaos CHA with live percussion from doh! featuring DJ Cosy Slippers, SOUND SYSTEM J-Trance (New Decade) ;StT: The Bard (Starfish),Billy McCIimenes ROOM & tarot card reader 3 CHILL-OUT ROOM 1 COLOUR LASER & COCKTAIL BAR ROOM 4
TREE ! Glass of Archers S- Lemonade MEGA BUFFET & BARBECUE CLUB DECOR THROUGHOUT STRING QUARTET, JUGGLERS ETC FRI JUNE 28TH 9 - 3am £5/ £4 (ENTSCARDS) mm (mora on door) ZSk
ROAR siywo/tTeo *»V.ST>» T-w>nvci_ rmsr*»Eftt>\.L college re.-.a. orzf sat Tickets on sale NOW ! from ICU office & DaVinci's Bar CONTENTS FELIX WEDNESDAY 26TH JUNE 1996 . THREE
NEWS Ghassan Karrian resigns Commemoration Day postponed Physics technician goes around the world on a tandem
6 THE YEAR IN REVIEW The outs and ins of 1 995-1996 Sir Ronald Oxburgh, Rector of IC looks back on the year
10 THE STATE OF THE UNION This year's Sabbatical team consider the future prospects of ICU Alex Feakes looks forward to next year's Felix
14 So Now WHAT? Nooman Haque considers the prospects of today's graduate
16 Fii: ARTS, SCIENCE & COMMENT Claes Oldenberg at the Hayward Gallery A butterfly flaps its wings in the Amazon: Ben Wilkins talks to Netspedition Simon Baker reviews the year Films: Kingpin, Back of Beyond, Beyond the Clouds, Beautiful Thing, Jack and Sarah Theatre: Who shall be happy? Music: The Blue Nile, 808 State, Sleeper, Longpigs, Porno for Pyros, Placebo, Dissident Prophet
24 So LONG... The staff on the Editor An Editor's last stand * Letters & Editorial Credits The Felix 95-96 Team
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Pictures, left-right and top-bottom: Alex Feakes, News Editor this year and Felix Editor next year Nooman Haque, prolific Feature writer Ben Wilkins, Science Editor Jeremy Thomson, Arts Editor Vik Bansal, Music Editor and Wei Lee, Film & Video Editor FOUR. FELIX WEDNESDAY JUNE 26TH 1996 NEWS Commemoration Day "blunder" BY ALEX FEAKES a pop group booked into the Hall Imperial College's 1996 for the week before were unable Commemoration Day celebra- to move. Questions remain, tions were salvaged from disaster though, as to why three weeks last week when they were went by after the blunder's dis- rescheduled for the 31st covery before Registry notified October, instead of the 24th. anybody of their mistake. The Registry Division responsible The Rector was told last for the ceremony had overlooked Wednesday, and apparently a mistake in the booking of the unimpressed by the situation Albert Hall in what was declared that "those who [made described by the Rector, Sir the mistake] would have to sort it Ronald Oxburgh, as a "gross blun- out." Sarah White, ICU presi- der. " dent, described the affair as "very Commemoration Day, when unfortunate" and said that it was graduating students receive their "lucky that it happened in time degrees, is traditionally held on for the students that were leav- the closest Thursday to the 25th ing," though it was too late for of October, which allows the PHOTO: WILLIAM LORENZ overseas students. Albert Hall to be booked for the Proud parents photographing their son at this year's post-graduate ICU sources put the cost of event years in advance. However, ceremony. October's Commemoration Day for undergraduates has the Commemoration Ball in the this year the graduation ceremo- been the victim of a "gross blunder," nearly scuppering the event. region of £15,000, which is nor- ny is pencilled in for the 31st mally covered by the double tick- October instead of the 24th, a have had to move the £90 a pair Registry to solve the problem, et price of £90. However, it is fact that nobody in Registry dis- Commemoration Ball forward a but they were unable to move the now doubtful whether or not the covered until recently, when week. ICU narrowly avoiding a date to the 24th October. Speak- overheads of the Ball will be met preparations for the ceremony repeat of the May Post-graduate ing to Felix, Vernon Mclure, head from ticket sales alone. Sarah and the Ball following it were Ball debacle in which they of the Registry Division since the White, incredulous that the well under way. incurred a penalty for cancella- beginning of May, confirmed that Registry had made yet another In particular, invitations to tion at short notice due to anoth- they had made efforts to "sort it mistake, suggested that some of the event had already been sent er Registry mistake. out," but plans to move the event the cost of the Ball may be passed out, and Imperial College Union Efforts were made by the to the 24th were scotched when on to the Registry. Athletic Clubs Committee LSE moves to top-up fees
Colour Awards BY ALEX FEAKES Claire Lowrie, LSESU's In a move marked as a "sad day treasurer, commented that The following people have been Social- E. Wratten, R. Curran, S. for students," the London School "Tuition fees should be an option awarded colours for their sport- Baron, B. Arnold, S. Chaturvedi of Economics' academic board of the very last resort," and sug- ing achievement. Rugby: Full- T. Oldham, J. Pert voted to recommend the princi- gested that poorer students and Half- B. Maddison, A. Mayes, ple of top-up fees to its governing those from less privileged back- Boat: Full- A. Kershaw, J. Jean-Phillipe Oesterle, S. Fuller body as a way to reduce a pre- grounds would be put off coming Purnell, A. Trickey, T. Gale, M. Social- S. Hall, J. Evans, D. Lee, dicted £3.7 million deficit. to university. However, the Mesenholler, A. Hindley, R. T. Salter If implemented, the LSE Director of LSE, John Ashworth, Lucas, K. Jourdan, S. Ic Miere, S. Ladies Rugby: Half- L. Hewitt, would become the first universit- said that "as [LSE] are an inter- Dennis, A. McDonald, N. Tan, Adel Kirkman Social- E. Friel ty in the UK to charge top-up nationally renowned centre of A. Warnock, S. Frackowiak, P. Football: Half- R. Herris, M. tuition fees for EU students. The excellence, we must not let our Wilson, A. Smith Farina, M. Jarvis Social- P. vote, 43 for and 12 against, reputation be damaged by the Cricket: Half- S. Trussel, G. Siverns, N. Hemsley reverses an earlier decision not to reduction of state funding." Parry Social- J. Isherwood, M. Ladies Football: Half- E. Bern- support the fee. Imperial College officials Dawkins rud Social- H. Brindley, T. Locks Estimates for the size of the have consistently denied that IC Ne.tball: Full- J. Dallimore, S. Cross-Coimtry: Full- A. Over- fee have ranged from a prelimi- would begin to charge top up Godleman, A. Dyre Half- M. end, L. Kipling, E. Collins Half- nary figure of £850 to a £3500 fees. However, it remains to be Ataw C. Fishlock, G. Johnson, K. charge which would recover the seen whether the London School Swimming: Full- J. Fox Half- M. MacDonald Social- C. Burge School's budget deficit. Other, of Economics' move will start a Yung, C. Davies Fencing: Full- N. Manton, Yuen short term measures had also domino effect of high-flying uni- Hockey: Full- K. Jabbour, I. Kai Chan, E. Rysdale, S. Saba, R. been agreed by the academic versities succumbing to top-up Crampsie Half- M. Roberton, S. Kalam, C. Cooper, A. Davies board, including raising the fees fees, and whether or not Imperial McTavish, S. Thomas, C. Bryan, Orienteering: Full- M. Halligey for overseas students and reduc- College will be able to resist J. Groenendaal, G. Thompson Half- D. R. Nutt ing staffing costs by 4%. these pressures. NEWS FELIX WEDNESDAY 26TH JUNE 1996 . FIVE Karian resigned to no confidence ULU President quits to preempt QMW motion
BY ROBIN RILEY In retaliation, QMW students In Ghassan Karian's absence, still had to be discussed at the The University of London Union voted to ban Mr Karian from ULU Vice-President Tara GUC meeting even though president Ghassan Karian ten- their Union premises. Jefferson has stepped in as acting Ghassan's resignation rendered dered his resignation in a letter to Speaking to Felix, QMW president until the end of July, in the result entirely academic. the University of London Union sabbatical Anthony Hume ques- a brief interview with Felix, Ms Ironically, the motion was defeat- General Union Council on tioned Ghassan's motives in Jefferson was downbeat and ed by the narrow margin of two Tuesday, pre-empting a vote of pushing through both 'New expressed her frustration at the votes, so Mr Karian would have no confidence in his presidency. Solutions' and the new ULU con- course of events, claiming "It was remained ULU president had he Mr Karian had partially with- stitution, in light of his new posi- brilliant when he was doing the not resigned. However, Anthony drawn from the presidency much tion. He also expressed anger at work and not getting paid... We Hume, the motion's original pro- earlier, on May 17th, when he Mr Karian's lack of accountability were getting maximum value out poser, claims that if this had been accepted the offer of a position as to the students he represented, of Ghassan." Ms Jefferson went the case, stronger arguments for West London elections cam- who had been paying his wages on to express her dismay at Mr sacking Ghassan would have been paigns co-ordinator for the for at least the majority of the Karian's forced resignation, and put forward and the result would Labour Party. Ghassan was con- year. More specific complaints denied rumours that she too have been radically different. tinuing his administrative duties included Ghassan's refusal to call would resign. The repercussions of Mr as president, but was no longer a GUC meeting until forced, his Concerning the objections Karian's resignation may well drawing a salary from ULU. The contravening of the ULU consti- raised by QMWs Union officers continue into the next academic apparent conflict of interest led tution in holding the two jobs at regarding Ghassan's policies now year. Sarah White, ICU presi- delegates from Queen Mary and once, and his failure to give the that he was working for Labour, dent and ULU president elect, Westfield College led to the pro- required one month's notice Ms Jefferson said "Perhaps they will be denied the usual handover posal of no confidence in the before resigning. should have tried harder to win period of training by the outgoing president. These arguably trivial com- those arguments at the time." president. This could conceivably Dissent was strongest at plaints may have led to Ghassan's However, when pushed on knock-on to the incoming ICU QMW following an incident ear- description of QMWs Union whether Mr Karian's overt politi- president, Eric Allsop. lier in the year when Ghassan officers as "petty politicians, who cal affiliation was appropriate, Ultimately perhaps only fiercely criticised their NUS con- have nothing better to do than Ms Jefferson conceded that the Ghassan Karian himself can claim ference delegates, who had been grind their axe," (Felix 1061) but other ULU sabbaticals were all any victory from these proceed- mandated to support his New Mr Hume was adamant: "We either apolitical or Labour Party ings, as his rapid rise within the Solutions (for funding higher hold the moral high ground, I members themselves. Labour Party seems assured education) proposal, but ignored feel, without a shadow of a Under the ULU constitu- despite the souring of his term as their mandates and voted against. doubt." tion, the motion of no confidence ULU president. China to England by tandem for IC duo
BY ALEX FEAKES cyclists. The idea grew on him For the first month of their and India. They travelled through An expedition by a post-doctoral and he attended a course on bike year-long trip they stayed in Pakistan and Iran, which Dave researcher and her boyfriend who building, and built their own tan- Beijing, then headed south described as "brilliant" and some- cycled from China to England dem. through Vietnam, across to Nepal where he would like to go back reached its conclusion a few to, and then to Turkey. Everyone weeks ago when the couple final- they met on their travels was ly arrived to a champagne recep- friendly, and willing to help the tion in Ramsgate. unusual travellers. It seemed that Dave Montain, a technician everywhere they went they in the Physics Department, ini- attracted attention, and were tially received the suggestion often chased by curious locals. In from his girlfriend Bronwen with one Indian town they nearly surprise. Bronwen was nearing caused a riot as onlookers crowd- the end of a year's research in ed around. the Chinese capital, Beijing, and When they reached Europe, wanted to take the opportunity they found that this feeling of to do something adventurous. being 'special' soon wore off, but "I'd been saving up for some- they were glad nonetheless when thing like this for a while," Dave they disembarked the cross-chan- recalls, "but when Bron suggested nel ferry at Ramsgate and were it, I was a little surprised." - nei- Dave and Bronwen met a Pakistani homeopathic doctor who cycled greeted by Bronwen's parents ther of the pair are dedicated around the world in the sixties. with champagne. six . FELIX WEDNESDAY JUNE 26TH 1996 NEWS REVIEW
The Outs and Ins of '95 - '96 Andrew Dorman-Smith cuts the losses of the year, and sees what we've been left with.
1. The RCS II Building grip on the high revenue potential Option', enabling the Union to of Beit Quad. Since Biology expand into some of the space building project which featured would be departing to enter the vacated by the Biology prominently, it was another of new Biomedical building, the Department. the Estates projects which really logic was that ICU should follow Elsewhere on campus, shone out as the issue that could the botanists and zoologists out preparations for the new library not be avoided in 1995/6. of the way, but this time into the extension began with the appro- IC had been fortunate to sumptuous surroundings provid- priate degree of controversy. The obtain adequate funding for a ed by the Sherfield building. first stage of the developments, new Imperial School of ICU sabbaticals and officials excavating the concrete-filled Medicine, but the logistics of the were not particularly receptive to basement, untactfully started as scheme didn't appear to follow as College overtures, with one the third-term exam season got happily. As meaty arguments 'senior official' suggesting that underway. "We think the worst is between the constituent medical there would be a staff sit-in if any over," the Rector said. schools and College continued pressure was brought to bear to over the provision of social space, vacate the Quad. In what was to planning applications were caus- be the first of many incisive quo- Out (eventually): RCS II ing concern. The old RCS II tations Sarah White, the then building should have been demol- newly elected President, said that Every year a number of subjects ished by Christmas 1995, but it she was "extremely cross." seem to reappear in Felix with was still standing three months Communication started to such regularity that you wonder later. English Heritage weighed improve with an "amicable yet if they will ever disappear. Last in because the site was a desig- frank meeting" between the year it was the unending spree of nated 'Conservation Area', and it Director of Estates Ian Caldwell, computer thefts and the on-off- was mid-March before 'Green and the four ICU sabbaticals. But on NUS referendum. This time Light for BMS' graced the front it seemed that rising costs had College estates developments page of Felix. more to do with College's even- dominated the news. We were told of a wall of tual decision to put the plans 'on While the proposed exten- silence from college authorities as hold' than ICU's preferences. sion to the IC's boat club premis- they plotted and planned in an Still on the ICU agenda was the es at Putney may have been one attempt to wrest ICU from its adoption by College of the 'Beit In: rubble and building sites
away whisky and vodka at a motions by resigning. 2. Rag fresher's reception. The matter It was just two weeks later was highlighted when one inebri- that they were once again in the Richard Willis, elected as Rag ated newcomer was found in a headlines, this time with even Chair at the AGM in June 1995, 'barely conscious state' by a worse news. A missing £300 was opened his year with a blustering College official. Happily the stu- the subject of this latest contro- attack on the return without dent recovered. versy as the rudderless group compensation of a pilfered mas- Mr Willis was less fortunate struggled to come to terms with cotry item. 'It's a bloody dis- as he found himself subject to the "the mentality of someone who grace' he shouted as Felix showed full force of the disciplinary would steal from charity." Reggie, King's College stone lion, might of the Union, brought on Jon Lambert took the helm, being handed back by the Royal in part by the embarrassment without a noticeable improve- In: the lonely life of an College of Science. caused by the incident. While a ment to the group's fortunes. ex-Rag chair The Rag man had barely set- technicality and an appeal looked There was an incredibly poor tled into his new job when he like delaying his departure, the turnout at the normally boister- Rag Fete at the end of May. This himself graced the front cover Rag Chair eventually preempted ous Mines Dirty Disco as part of has traditionally been held on the with a report that he had given the outcome of the censure a similarly disappointing Rag Queen's Lawn to show apprecia- Week. Even the famous Beer tion to those who have cam- Festival, a highlight in many IC paigned throughout the year and student calendars, was under to raise even more money. With subscribed as the trend contin- rain forcing the event inside, the ued. crowds failed to materialise with The final nail in the coffin of a pitiful six students visiting the what must be one of their less stands - a miserable end to a mis- Out: the heady days of charitable success auspicious years came with the erable year for Rag. NEWS REVIEW FELIX WEDNESDAY JUNE 26TH 1996 . SEVEN
3. Ghassan 4. Higher Education Funding Karrian Beyond Imperial, the national debate on the future funding of The Rag politicking was nothing higher education came to the when compared to the machina- fore this year. We learnt in tions at the University of London December that Imperial was to Union. Following close behind in lose £2million through the gov- the 'most mentions' category was ernment's decision to transfer that long-serving friend of ICU, money from higher education to that unavoidable Ghassan Karian the primary and secondary sec- (formerly called the ULU tors. President). You could hardly Out: friends together While Gillian Shephard was Out: fat of the land have missed his transformation 'trumpeting' the action, those from 'friend of IC to 'villain of itics seems only too happy to who had lost out were under- not support this move, insisting the year.' travel. standably feeling somewhat inse- that "IC has no intention of It all started with a soft 'New Labour' connections cure. The Rector of Imperial charging a £300 fee." focus study of a rather drunken had been well-documented in College described the cuts as Whatever the real feelings of Mr Karian and even more inebri- previous issues, but Mr Karian's "derisory," and one vice-chancel- this disparate group of University ated Sarah White - ULU/IC employment by Tony Blair's lor went as far as describing them and College heads, the desired relations seemed to have a bright party came as a shock, especially as "an act of vandalism bereft of effect was achieved with the future. The Labour Councillor as he still had two months of his any strategic direction." Secretary of State for Education was pushing his initiative to over- contract to finish. Breaking As some of the hardest hit being manoeuvred into an turn the NUS policy of fighting agreements clearly did not pose a universities were openly debating embarrassing 'backtrack' by the for a return to 1979 grant levels. problem for the soon-to-be top-up fees as an alternative high profile campaign. With dis- He was not alone, with ICU's Labour spindoctor. source of funding, opposition was agreements between Govern- President attending his 'New "I just don't understand mounting. The rather uncoordi- ment Ministers themselves, the Solutions' group in an unofficial him," Sarah was quoted as saying nated spectacle of the Durham's Tory's education 'policy' looked capacity. What could possibly in one of her analyses of events SU President suggesting one in increasing disarray. stop this budding relationship surrounding the debacle. The move, while Manchester's But while Richard Wilson, of bearing fruit for both parties? problem was that the ICU Student Union leader suggested 'One Foot in the Grave' fame, The cooling-off started in President would have limited another, may not have evoked was getting elected as Rector of February, when Mr Karian training for her new role which optimism, but help was at hand Glasgow, the National Union of attended a ICU Council meeting the July handover period was from a rather unexpected party. Students had greater issues to which was debating his proposal supposed to provide. So far had That well known opponent consider. The great funding for a new ULU constitution. they travelled from their drunk- of student poverty, Her debate - whether the NUS With accusations of "half-cocked en intimacies at the beginning of Majesty's Tory Government, should still demand a return to appeasement," but still with the the year. scared of losing even more of its 1979 grant levels - continued to support of other ULU sabbati- Worse was to come as Ms falling middle class vote, moved dominate proceedings at student cals, his proposal was eventually White was hard-pressed to stop in behind the students against gatherings. accepted. ICU Council from forcing her to the universities. They insisted When Douglas Trainer, the Next in the ULU/Karian propose a motion of no confi- that there was "no need for top- moderate Scotsman, was elected saga came the revelation that dence in her former friend. A up fees," and expressed concern to be next year's President, it ICU's own Sarah White was bid- compromise whereby she would over the suffering that tolls looked as if last year's decision ding to become Karian's succes- support a motion only if it was would cause those students from would be overturned. With the sor. A result of 35-23 in Ms proposed by others seemed to "less well off families." The Pro ubiquitous Mr Karian insisting White's favour, even if she did have got Sarah off the hook. Rector suggested that the that, "The [present] policy is think that it was "A bit closer' With friends rapidly falling Government was "getting other unachievable and will not address seemed a good omen for an ever away from the previously-popu- people to do their dirty work," the problems we face," the long- closer relationship between the lar Karian, the ICU compromise but College authorities admitted standing, and much-criticised, two Unions. But nobody was looked increasingly meaningless that they were seriously consid- policy was summarily aban- ready for the final slide into the as a motion of no confidence ering how top-up fees could be doned. mire through which student pol- became inevitable. The ULU imposed. President was now on the attack The political calling his opponents "petty posturing increased politicians who have nothing bet- as a divided ter to do," insisting that he Committee of Vice "would prefer not to have to do Chancellors and two jobs anyway." Principals decided The year of friction drew to to impose top-up a close with Ghassan Karrian fees in the run up to resigning his position before the the next Genera vote of no confidence went Election. Imperia ln: all alone ahead. College's Rector did In: let them eat cake EIGHT . FELIX WEDNESDAY JUNE 26TH 1996 FEATURE The View of the Tower
Sir Ronald Oxburgh, Rector of Imperial the departments can be ready and so that the surge of building offers the opportunity to College and Science, Technology and library is set up - we can't have everything give the whole campus a face lift in a way it Medicine. A man with a lot to answer half finished and half done when the intake has not had for twenty years. Frankly quite a for, I reckoned. It was to be an inter- arrives. You may think that people have been lot of the campus is getting pretty run down view of tough questioning and hard- badly inconvenienced - and they have - but - if you come here every day, you tend to hitting journalism. But as soon as I not half as badly as they could have been had accept it. But on a worrying number of occa- was shown the tomato plants in grow we not bent over backwards. We've spent an sions people have come and looked round, bags on the balcony of his Sherfield awful long time trying to schedule work in and they've also been to some of the newer balcony, I fell apart. So here it is: our such a way that the inconvenience would be universities, with their very attractive accom- Rector appeared to me as a sincere, minimal. In a few cases that came unstuck, modation and settings, and they've said caring, enthusiastic and eminently where it was outside our control. "Well, I'd rather go there." We can't afford approachable man who left me in no But in some cases, on the grounds of stu- that. We are unlikely ever to compete with doubt that at least part of the Powers dent inconvenience, we have changed the the best for accommodation, but we've got to that Be really do care more than we overall plans. We have delayed the health a maintain a particular decent standard, and I give them credit for. think we're getting perilously close to falling So I apologise for the following: below that at the moment. Some of our halls after a year of this I'm blatantly in not Some of our halls of of residence frankly I'm ashamed of, and we much of a state to fight any more bat- really have to do something about that. tles. I suspect that this man could have residence, frankly, easily persuaded me that it would be The union move best for students to dig up the library I'm ashamed of... It was the way my year started: fear and at the start of the exam season every loathing from my new employers, concerned year. Alarming, my predecessor wrote centre: we thought we had it planned in such that they were to be moved to the concrete something similar last year, too. a way that it would give the best result all monstrosity that is the Sherfield building so Perhaps it is simply that after a year of round, but what hadn't been recognised was that Beit Quad could be turned into a confer- ever-mounting cynicism Sir Ronald that the noise in the lower part of Southside ence centre. Or something like that. What was Oxburgh's honesty and frankness is would transmit throughout the Southside it all about, and where are we now? refreshingly straightforward. For one structure. Perhaps that should have been Fundamentally the union was opposed, I thing, of all the people in the Sherfield recognised, but it wasn't foreseen. We had think probably for the wrong reasons, to mov- Building I have questioned over the planned to move the health centre across over ing. We looked at the cost of moving them past couple of years, the Rector is the the summer, so that it would be up and run- over here, and it was going to very substantial. first to admit to a mistake. He is cer- ning for next September. It won't be ready If the Union had said "yes, this is a great tainly the only one to use the phrase now until sometime in the autumn term - opportunity," (and I think it was, I think 'enormous cock-up,' although I think there will be disruption in the service then. they've blown it, to be quite honest) saying he said to not quote him on that. So whatever you do, you're actually going to "we want to do it, we want to make this lose out somewhere or other. In the end, we work," we would have said "okay, we'll try to have to say, 'it's Hell for us, but won't it be find the money." But it was not worth push- Estates development nice for those who come after?' ing it. It was a jolly expensive idea. I started well, asking whether the current It's going to be miserable for the next But there are many different ways of estates developments, particularly the con- three or four years. But we think the worst is doing it. We can expand the Union facilities struction of the biomedical sciences building over on the BMS site. There's going to be over there: it's pretty clear that we're going to and excavation of the library during the exam quite a bad period next year when enormous have to find more meeting rooms and things period was indicative of a caring and sensitive tankers and lorries are going backwards and of that kind, and we're going to have to give student-focussed college. He had an answer for forwards, pouring concrete on the structure, quite a lot of thought to that. It may be that everything: the digging up of the library base- which will probably last four months. But we can provide some Union society rooms ment was, indeed, much noisier than anyone once they've got the basic structure up it will over here in Sherfield. had anticipated. Apparently the college actually be much quieter, because the work records were incorrect, and the contractors will mostly be internal. The library will be Higher education funding came across areas of solid concrete which were going on in parallel, but mostly out of term: a We are in the privileged position of having a simply not present in the plans. They then had lot of it will be done this summer. Rector who also happens to sit on the Dearing no choice to bring in pneumatic drills. "It Committee, which has just met for the first builds character," he said, laughing, "I live Campus renaissance? time to consider the whole area of higher edu- beside it." The overall building program that is underway cation funding. Will Sir Ronald be trumpeting preparing Imperial for its medical school and the cause of the elite science and technology We haven't really got much choice, given taking the College into the twenty first centu- establishment, I wonder, or representing the that the first medical intake arrives in ry, has been dubbed 'the campus renaissance.' common or garden undergraduate-in -penury October 1998. We have to have everything So what's that then? in a an expensive part of London? ready at least six months in advance so that Looking at the college as a whole, this I don't consider myself as representing FEATURE FELIX WEDNESDAY JUNE 26TH 1996 . NINE
Sir Ronald Oxburgh spoke to Rachel Walters of his perspective on Imperial over the past year. anyone. I see myself bringing what experience I have of universities, in different parts of this country, in different parts of the United States, and in different parts of Europe, to a massive national problem. In looking at the composition of the committee, no doubt those who set it up tried to make sure that there was sufficient breadth of experience, so that all important aspects of the problem It's not a simple problem. But these are the different customs: everyone's customs are would be looked at. I have a particular affini- problems we have to look at. long-cherished, and dearly held: the problem ty toward research orientated universities. is they are all different! So melding this group Everyone is selected bringing their own expe- The Rector's year into a coherent working whole, but on the rience, but that's different from representing So how was it for you? What events stand out other hand finding a way of not submerging a particular group. in Sir Ronald Oxburgh's 1995-96? their individuality is a challenge. I think the principal uncertainties of the In the year as a whole a number of great year are external... these are the things we are things happened, but I think winning exposed to when we have really only one University Challenge was really great, proba- The overwhelming impression that lump-money sensitive customer for the bly giving the college a greater shot in the arm comes across from a conversation with greater part of our services, which is the than many other changes. What delighted me the Rector on the future of Imperial Government. The really dramatic reductions was not only that they won, but that all sorts College is that, while we're certainly in funding is absolutely amazing: student of people said to me, "What a nice group!" not short of ideas for improvement, financing has dropped by about 25% in real People who didn't know the College were we are sadly lacking in the capital to terms over the last decade. rooting for them to win because they were realise them. In the course of an hour I suppose, fundamentally, I would like to such decent people. I thought that was we discussed building new halls of see a system where tertiary education was a tremendous; looking back on the year that has residence, expanding the sports centre basic right for those who wanted it. But the and the Union, redesigning the inside economic situation and the rapid expansion of of Sherfieid to make better use of the higher education makes this an unrealisable Winning University space, landscaping the Imperial objective. Under those circumstances, my College Road and Queen's Lawn area own personal preference, without having seen Challenge probably and building a car park in Dalby any of the alternatives, is for some sort of Court. The potential sources of fund- graduate tax on those who benefit. It would gave the College a ing ranged from the National Lottery need to be spread over a longish period, and and Medical Research Charities to the delayed until they were sufficiently well greater shot in the Private Finance Initiative and the established to pay it - in other words they had Millennium Fund. He described the actually seen some benefit from higher edu- arm than many BMS building as the last of its kind, cation in terms of salary increase. But the dif- simply because it will be built with ficulty is that it is very unattractive to politi- other changes £40million from the Higher Education cians, because they wouldn't see the benefit Funding Council. The other major pro- of it for ten years. to be one of the highlights. ject underway, the refurbishment of The Chancellor is concerned about the Looking back earlier, we finally got agree- the library, will be largely funded by a public sector borrowing requirement, and ment from the various medical institutions to bequest. what you are talking about would put a big join us, then obtained the funding for the new I imagine Imperial is hardly alone loan on the PSBR. So what a government that building, getting over £40 million for it. At amongst universities by appearing to went that way would do, would be to actual- the same time, we were able to attract a first be an institution deprived of the free- ly set up something first class, the benefits of class principal for the new medical school, dom to determine its own destiny, which would be felt by two governments poaching him from Edinburgh, and then got scrabbling for finances to realise its down the line. Although it's probably the planning permission to then get everything goals. right thing for the country, it's not necessari- underway. Of course, this medical school, ly something that is immediately appealing there are going to be big problems with it: any for a government with a financial problem. initiative which brings together tribes with TEN . FELIX WEDNESDAY JUNE 26TH 1996 FEATURE The State of the Union
The once scorned Friday night Ents are almost invariably packed full by 10pm. The "Last summer refurbishment of the bookstore in the early was horrible, but nineties turned a reasonable trading outlet it made us think into a major going concern. A referendum about things a held last year on rejoining the National Union lot: think about of Students received an unexpectedly loud how we use the voice calling for autonomy to be maintained. building, and If not actually fighting off the mythical demon how we can of disinterest, is Imperial College Union at improve it. It least making inroads into determining its own forced us to future? question why we are here, and we're coming up The academic year began with the Union with constructive stubbornly refusing to budge on a College responses." proposal to move them to the Sherfield Building. ICU now looks likely to retain its Beit Quad premises, but with an influx of hundreds of medical students beginning in 1998, the scope for expansion looks limited. College are planning to put management of the bookstore out to tender, potentially depriving the Union of it's major Sarah White, non-Governmental source of funding at a time when capital funding across the spectrum ICU President of Higher Education is set to drop by 50%.
With the benefit of a year's hindsight, the ur location seems a lot more secure than it did a year ago, Sabbatical Officers of 1995 -1996 consider which means we can think about our future. The uncer- what future there is for the Student's Union of O tainty which was hanging over our heads meant that we Imperial College... couldn't go ahead with projects such as the refurbishment of the Ents lounge. Now we are getting things up up scratch: our long-term aim is to get to a public Ents license, so that we can have bar exten- sions with more ease - the University of London Union can keep their bar open until lam whenever they like. And we would also be able to use more of the building, and get bands in. "Last summer was horrible, but it made us think about things a lot: think about how we use the building, and how we can improve it. It forced us to question why we are here, and we're coming up with constructive responses. "I think it's quite likely that we will be able to get some of the Beit basement space when Biology move out: there's nothing else to put in therel All we can do with the existing space is improve the service, but we can't expand on what we do. "We're also considering what else we do, and how we make stu- dents more aware of what's on offer: there's no point in waking them up by putting posters up saying 'Come to the bar.' The resource centre should be good. It will hopefully have phones, a fax machine, photocopiers and computers and all the things clubs and societies need. They'll pop in and think, 'I know, I'll pop into the advice centre and sort out that dodgy contract while I'm here.' The easiest way of telling someone what you do is to show it to them - make them walk past it. "The big issue of the future will be coping with the cuts in high- er education funding. Whether you go somewhere with a decent sports' hall is less important than whether you are there at all." FEATURE FELIX WEDNESDAY JUNE 26TH 1995 . ELEVEN
C is sorted academically: IC's student development is not. "The next I We're in a brilliant position, if only we can develop ideas. The five years clubs and societies have a massive base of activity, and we have are nice venues and good facilities, especially if the refurbishment of fucking the Ents lounge and the development of the sports centre goes crucial. ahead. We have the foundations, but we need to invest in student The situa- development. ICU is there to enable students to do what they tion looks couldn't do on their own, but ii we're so insular we never look out, brilliant we'll never get anywhere. from one "We need to consolidate our position, decide what our key angle, and functions are, and focus on them. It's like a war: if we deiend on all dire from sides we will end up losing on all sides. The next five years are fuck- another." ing crucial. The situation looks brilliant from one angle, and fucking dire from another. I think that's why the staff are really happy on some days, and then miserable as Hell the next. "IC academically is second to none, but students haven't got the support network that they would have if they went somewhere equally demanding, like Cambridge. The one-to-one system there Tim Townend, means that if you miss a single tutorial there is someone worrying about you. I guess that's why employers like IC graduates: they Clubs and Societies haven't been spoon-fed. But we do need improvements in our tuto- rial system. If they don't change attitudes, we're never going any- where, and it's ICU's job to make sure those attitudes are changed."
e're as certain as we'll ever be that we will be staying put in Beit. Ideally we would like to expand into some of the "We can get W space, but we ground floor at the front of the Quad. The promise of some basement space would be significant. It might end up as some can't get kind of a bargain; College could put money into it, and in return money, which control it over the vacations. If we get that, it will give enough room is an improve- to expand the ents lounge into the Print Unit, and possibly move ment on last the snooker rooms into the basement too. And if the new sports' year, when we centre goes ahead, we could convert the gym into rooms for clubs, couldn't get societies and welfare. The basement area is huge: apart from any- either." thing else, it would give us more storage space, and that's one of the biggest problems we've got. "To sum it up, we can get space, but we can't get money, which is an improvement on last year, when we couldn't get either. So we need to make our own money, and that's under attack as well. We just don't know what's happening with the future of the bookstore. At the moment we're working on a proposal for what we would Matt Crompton, offer, assuming it goes out to tender. The benefits of us running it far outweigh the benefits of anyone else running it, but no doubt the Finance and Services argument that it's better to keep the money within the IC com- munity will fall on deaf ears."
"Where are you like to think that Felix is continuing to improve its role as a going to get bridge between College and students. There's so much happen- £15 I ing at the moment, and because we're not a particularly con- million to pay frontational student body, much of it goes by without any chance for a Students' for discussion. Besides, I think that College would get a lot more Union in these support for the positive developments if there wasn't such a strong days when perception that so much is completely underhand. everything is "What I find slightly worrying is that the current location of funded by either the Print Unit is the one prime target for the extension of enter- the PFI or the tainment facilities. It would a very great shame if we were moved National to some inaccessible grotty basement. The current location is bad Lottery?" enough, but I'm not sure if we are a priority as far as the Union is concerned! Being completely selfish, a move to Sherfield would have been superb for us: we were looking at a purpose built 2-level print shop in the middle of things. But then I wonder if it could ever have happened: where were they going to get £15 million to pay for Rachel Walters, a students union in these days when everything is either funded by Felix Editor & Print Unit Manager the PFI or the National Lottery?" A BIG FINISH
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Situations vacant'' it said, white on black. This is (or me, I thought, this is what a :.':rf" soon-to-be-sitting-his-Finals-dreaming-about-what-he's-going-to-do-next tvpe person needs, a vacant situation into which I can slide, without comedy, and without an incumbent. IP 1 read on: "No experience required" - even better, since in my experience, my experience to satiate was minimal, (my girlfriends past had always said that I was a man with no experience"} :this must be for me! What was next? "Luxury accommodation." Superb I thought, fully furnished,! well appointed, perhaps a penthouse flat? (A subtle irony here). I paused, put down the ad and took I |a few sips of coffee. "Felix Editor / Print Unit Manager," I mused, hmmm, I could do that. Four months later and soon-to-be-editing-Felix is sitting his Finals, interspersing bouts of revision! II with visions of fonts, front pages and what-the-hell-are-you-doing-get-baek-to-work-you-procras-:i tinating-fool. Six mind-numbingly exhausting exams in a week and it's more-ordess over, bar the fj shouting, drinking and gad-it's-rushing-up-on-me-and-l-don't-know-the-lirst-thing-about-edit-: ii ing-how-the-hell-do-you-recharge-the-photoeopier-cards-oh-good-griet-my-typing-has-gone-1 111 dyslexic-damn-collating-machine-go-back-whence-vou-eame-and, and, oh, everything.
Actually, CP I I'm quite looking forward to it. , When run- Ining around the various halls of resi- Idence that surround Princes Gardens in a fit 1 iof campaigning fury, my prime purpose was to iii meet the people who read Felix each week. It | had occurred to me, while tweaking the news I pages late one Wednesday evening a few weeks beforehand, that what people read in Felix - what I was writing or editing - must make an impres-: sion. This was borne out when, after knocking on doors and relating my breathless: If banter, the occupants would ask me questions, wanting to know more. This primitive 'meeting the public' exercise was very satisfying, and reassured line that the enormous number of Felixes that we distribute each week weren't just ::: f picked up by cleaners. It showed that people were reacting, taking in what was reported, and II I ruminating on what piqued their interest. In a way, they were taking part in their Felix, keeping I ^rieH their end of the unwritten, unspoken contract between the writers here and the eclectic masses |beyond the office doors. And that process is mirrored every time they move to pen a letter or tap a key, allowing them toil participate in the production side of Felix, stepping across the invisible line that marks out the read-ft |ers from the producers in the relationship. Some have been moved to come and see lor themselves, |trying their hand at a review, picking up a news-assignment, reporting on a hockey match or whatev- |jer - they are engaging themselves in Felix, and reflect a little ol themselves into the reading. So the reader-mannequin aquires a bit of life in its perusal of Felix. Felix gains in the partic i- /-A- flttj, pation of its readers. Felix and readers alike benefit when they interact. How will you interact with Felix? How will you benefit? FOURTEEN . FELIX WEDNESDAY 26TH JUNE 1 996 FELIX FEUX FELIX WEDNESDAY 26TH JUNE 1996 . FIFTEEN "What wrong* How not to impress Graduate recruiters
George/Best recalls a story woen he returned to a ; would still be Untouched by the ideals of another White Collar Heaven, and take stationery' home w-tth- themselves on the end of a phone all day, when ttote: -room wth o sack full of cash he had just won company and therefore:! would be just as malleable. out asking. actually they are paid to push Prozac across Europe- in the;casino:; he was completely pickled: and watt: In addition I would have gained a hard edge to my You never wanted to be an accountant? Yes, the most content person I Know graduated with a fhg for pi n on the bed was the current Miss UK. A character. At the very least I would probably return but you never really Know until you try, do you7 And 2.1;tri;biochemistry. and for the last three years has Pott boy offers; "we room and takes one look at with an experience j could recall which would answer the salary s rather good (the salary potential is taken home £150 a week (casn in hand) for serv- George faded football: sta-. ano asks. "What went a.question on onepf their 300 page application unmatched; You studied zoology and didiyour pro- ing/Chiipse food to people in the Midlands. His won*?' forms. ject on genetic mutabon in Qmsophila ambtons are obviously small, and he represents a George -augf-ia. I he bei boy doesn't Sett. Not everybody joins one of the large companies melanogasier? Who cares? Haven't youiitiadi the ttrw minortlv- of graduates. Most of us require some "What went wronj? initially, and not everyone goes globetrotting or to graduate literature9 Wo accept any discipline' ana isOft of intellectual challenge greater than pouring hoiquestren has flaunted mefora week now. Parliament immediately after graduation. A few besides, we pay more than: teachings"s"". /III |i,y|f||iii| a/c|ijtip::te; fei; i|i jevef ic. Wren|iiWrong?; : And so you will learn about valuation of stock;;: lill:;^ do several:: Ice nveMmml Itwnker interviewing me was at historic prices: recording of cash f-ow under SSAP /|f ||i|||i;i||||||i|i||||i: partly efet^iit to : ?::.: So/iffel bad/|doneilpbfig) in thbse tiffe-iiyears/i who takes on sucri a job "or that matter: As a real-:: |l|||ri|i|||!il::i|i |||l:»«i1nf:' haflif? ter of fact I m patt;ai to an accrual or two myself. |||||||::i||||^ thi||fiiep.was; a preooncgpon: on hl'sii: However, it is the case that sorne graduates accepi il||||i|f|1|i|l lv»* -il'tf. tuoftpnt crapitates. if they do not enter such jobs in the nooq that t'-ieywiil find tiiem inter- /r||||||||ii^^ ;:||||o:pcan d.:-n;i^soarch. aiitompcalfy choose to esting. Many do, but a fee/ don't. Ana it isn't easy ? i')''} ,t 1, ij-c 111 iw$0y with an estaolishea grad-: to leave a ;ot > wit n attract-vu aonefits and -'potential- i;:; i /;:;//i|/H i/^iS^l; i^pl *c^*^ i: il^/i i PH^^ ^^t?t: i :^^ ^^j:/ i^ ^:*^^ i i */T^ ^ /': i; /f^7 ^ i :|iii||||ihgi eve1. -.Um i s < »{,'! „s a fte experience as a signi? can Uearniog environment. A too quickly. You may have had responsibility and : i he made and there has to an acceptance Wat any him furtnc.He twistech-s^ee.:scratched his head row did. hut my banker fnend was clearly under the faced extreme p ressure, worked weekends and late job will have a degree of meciocr ty wfiichi-was never:; -and made me reel like a scientifre cucosity for;my fntpression that one year in the students union into the night even, but you won't have had the. if:/ expected, regardless of the type or size of compa- ' ' u nconver rtidiidt';:pehaviour . Wtenni an extension of undergraduate life; a dope 'depth' you see. Stick at it a few more years then ny. So now tAm9 You've slam the corporate drag- fuelled trip discussing Marx, punctuated by demos, re-apply. Goodbye. Thank vou 'or your interest n Ail of which suggests that we should give more on and. driven by an nexpfcabie passion, votive marches, sn-ms and body painting. our company. thought to what we want::tQ do while we're;;study- reahsec a I a!ongWat)OU vocation \m mistieetthe- Jn the end I managed to convince him that we is it possible to heat trie Blue Chips7 Well, yes-. : ing. Another tainor > otjse'vtvtson ot mv investment atre. Except vou get Porectiaftei ri >ecc ape hp*; a were not living in the 60s but his approach remind- but it's not easy. The easiest option is of course to nanker -!u>"\;c.:vct. fcv. in.isf t>:; the aoop'owho title more mature and -love -"leaceo yo < -,-an? A er: me of the McCarthy Communist witch hunts in join them. Accept the high salary, structured train- leave aaive'sitv vvi-.u tie ;oo ihevrexpectoo when 'real' job. the liS. Here was a man making 'tie feel that I had ing, and enviable prospects for the future. After all, tiicv nuH-fcu i'tite ;f>,:!sc cxaosure to a mat; . On de>:.-. 'Ac are oar-:, a* sou - c t> 10 So .e :-: done something wrong; in pursuing a little inde- you mm .t.tfiat despire ' v-. occasional pressure at- tudc of e*jwioi ices tuko tjw-rt0«. Scientists, in par- ... t;v -ofpY-nno gb.to wechte^iisiv:':i-;;; : :/ './ '; ;: . 're pcncpnce I had apparently giventhe impression that uni##t\. r was auSicaly a doss, arid no,: you iCfJiar iiifl-distllasionnient creeping un, --is fno -'uli One wnoc 'reurec; tmv\ -^t; ?:' iif"- a?ici I was not a decent et /errand could oerranly never |§l§|ft Baptism of Fire fih^igtiififtdncti' of thou work is reaiiseci. A -cond tr o\oc caco. Aap;;ati|:t:ic,vhcn .the:|^:3§tsped 00: OOv Tr : ii he a part of h:s. organisijtijpn. |||||P '" ttet btfejlK if&£* tt£%%l&s£ -don ; ; : :: : 0§:ki^^^^^M^^'\^r to 'find myself |!l|!§fIfPllf/;of -t^igr^i:}ec(»«tti tg:af iltPpirifitahcy: c'ti options in the Cilv lor that very reason. t-:.::,:;.,-.. : hisyitostisP'i'C ecu: s\ n ^a|h |||ii:|i|e/i " : :; liiiB^^^^iftll'it w«h Eastern buropeai i firm'?Any g:Rl! \oc la.JvWnvf earned lor m^.s-iftg Sec I! isn't all doom though. Two extremely happy '; "What .went cao-y ?" C :. f|0§^ o' my riow nook. tures and copying wOfk v.d! \m mm extreme close-up picture, in the same Oldenburg selects mundane consumerist object the pop-art tradition, uses them in a way that is enti different and much more interesting than that intenc Unlike pop-artists before him, he does this not by st; ing lots in a pile, but by making them HUGE. Ice lo become furry giant teddy sized sculptures whose rid asness makes them brilliant. A speared meatb; e man-sized and is brought wholly out of cont ;aes' work is amusing, intelligent and fun. It is n case of questioning the artistic value of the w ause it's so appealing. Go and see it - if there's child left in you, you'll enjo Fancy a trip to the >in Imagine trying to carry out your scientific research in a tropical jungle: forty degree heat, high humidity, snakes, insects etc. virtual jungle? The logistical problems involved would deter all but the most intrepid of scientists. But By Ben Wilkins and Tony Heenan what if the field operation was connected to the internet? Wouldn't it be possible for many of the researchers to stay at home, remain in the comfort of their offices and take part in the field operation exclusively via the information super- highway? The only problem now is how on earth do you set up and maintain an internet link in the middle of a jungle...? which will take them as far up find rotting fruit irre- the Orinoco River as possible. sistible will be caught From there, they will open when they try to fly their rucksacks and unpack away. Unfortunately, three 18-foot foldable canoes, 90% of butterflies don't paid for by the Harlington like fruit. So how will Trust. They will then travel by the team catch these? "By mnning around the canoe along along the river jungle with nets," says Tony Heenan. through a remote area the size But he stresses that these experiments are of Wales. In total the team will by no means trivial: "You don't demonstrate the spend six weeks together potential of this technology if you do Mickey away from civilisation. Mouse science... As far as we can tell, nobody The primary goal of the expe- has been there for the express purpose of study- dition is to show that it is pos- ing butterfly populations before. People just sible to transmit from the jun- don't know what's there. The chances are we'll gle. To do this the team will be come across maybe a dozen new species." using a lap top computer and a If the team find a species which is new to 'sat phone' - a $35,000 mobile them, they will send images of the live butterfly phone which was lent to them to the collaborating scientists who will try to by California Microwave. identify it. Eventually the specimens collected According to Tony Heenan, from the Orinoco will end up in the Natural using it couldn't be easier: History Museum and the Museo de Artropodos "You open the box, unfold the satellite dish and What do two aeronauti- in the University of Zulia. away you go." cal engineers, a bio- Along with the scientific objectives, chemist, a materials sci- Along the way the team will measure char- Netspedition intends to be the first truly inter- entist, a physicist, a acteristics of the river such as temperature, pH active expedition on the Internet. As the team Venezuelan entomolo- and conductivity. Simple chemical analysis will journeys through the Amazon, sounds, images ft gist and a lap-top com- be used to determine the levels of salinity, hard- and video of the flora and fauna, the diverse ani- puter have in common? Give up? Well, they ness and nutrients in the water. The idea to mal life and of the scenery of what is one of the are all about to embark on a unique expedition study butterfly species diversity came from an most beautiful regions on this planet, will be to study butterfly populations and the Orinoco ex IC student, now at the Open University, who digitised using a CCD camera and the multime- river in Southern Venezuela. read about the expedition on the Internet. The dia facilities of the lap-top.. This information, What makes this venture, called team will be studying how the local conditions along' with a continuously updated log of their Netspedition, unique is that they will be using such as light, and river parameters affect the. daily life, will be released onto the Web site. It the latest in portable computer and satellite species diversity. All their results will be fed into will be possible to e-mail the expedition team, technology to transmit each day's results and the computer, along with their location, as given ask them questions and help them with any sim- their experiences to Imperial. Back at IC, a sup- by their satellite global positioning system. ple decisions they might face. port team will release the data onto the Scientists from all over the world will be able to Would you like to get involved in Netspedition web page. Netspedition was the analyse the results and feed back comments, to Netspedition? The team are still looking for stu- brainchild of Matthew Lewis, one of the six who the group. Tony Heenan believes this technolo- dents and staff to help maintain the Web site will be going this summer. "The main idea was gy could "open up new methods of remote and also provide scientific support to the team in to go on an expedition. I've always been an research on a global scale." the field. Why not check out the web site at: Internet fanatic, and I wanted to find a way to Before the team can start to study the but- http://sunsite.doc.ic.ac.uk/netspedition and combine the two." terfly population, they will have to catch them. then get in contact After landing at Caracas, the expeditioners These days this is a lot more sophisticated than with the relevant team will meet up with the sixth member, the ento- running round the jungle with nets. Instead they member. Join us if you mologist from the University will use something called a fruit trap, which is dare... of Zulia in Venezuela. The six 5^^^J_J_ basically a 14-inch plate -covered with rotting will then hire a bush plane fruit with a net above it. Those butterflies which simon baker but his response to the no And now, the end is near, confidence vote was and so I face the final dead- beyond belief. How dare line. After 9 months and he compare his disgraceful nearly 20,000 words, I have behaviour with the course run out of opportunities to of action taken by Lady vent my spleen on you, the Thatcher in 1990. She was good folk of Imperial. I have effectively the victim of a also reached the end of my coup d'etat, whereas this degree. Not averse to the despicable rat has shown odd cliche, as you all know by now, I must say that he couldn't give a toss about the people he that it has gone incredibly quickly. represents or the post he occupies. My friends, I'll say it clear. I'll state my case I also wish that I had intervened in the of which I'm certain. In October 1993, little old ConSoc fiasco earlier. It all seems such a long me pitched up at Linstead Hall, found the bar time since these pages were filled with letters and the rest is history. I arrived as a young, happy- from the legendary triumvirate of Bayley, Boon goducky idealist and leave as, well, form your and Summers, firing off salvos willy-nilly like a own opinions. I've seen people, buildings and, of machine gun with Parkinson's. They moaned course, signs come and go, the latter not neces- about the national press, they moaned about the sarily on a one-in-one-out basis. Felix certainly College press, they've even moaned about each hasn't missed out change over the last three other. In fact, they attacked everyone except the years. Many of you will remember this august people who they're supposed to, namely IC publication under the stewardship of my dear Labour Club. Such was the self-destruction old friend Beccy 'as vital to the mnning of Felix achieved by these three clowns that they have as David Mellor is to the Elite Model Agency' been forced to remain tight-lipped for the rest of Land, who printed one of my letters criticising the year for fear of further embarrassment. All her under the banner, "Will he ever shut up?" this at a crucial time in British politics, where a Clearly no. Last year was a dramatic improve- little debate would not have gone amiss. We can ment under the control of Owain Bennallack, but hope that next year's incumbents do a bet- though I did have cause to rattle the cage of Mr ter job, and let's be honest, that is not the great- Marcus Alexander, aka 'Prater Fiam'. A blind est challenge facing mankind. seven-year old could extract more meaning from Yes, there were times, I'm sure you knew, the Portuguese version of the Maastricht Treaty when I bit off more than I could chew. After than some of his writings, but there you go. As receiving the first letter of complaint in the first for this year, modesty forbids me to be specific, term from Sarah White about New Solutions, I but I must congratulate Rachel on a brilliant job thought that I'd be a bit clever. She moaned that and thank her for giving me this space with I hadn't read any of the relevant documents, so which to amuse and entertain you, I hope, I immediately asked for copies, hoping that she throughout the year. wouldn't have them. Of course, she did, and And more, much more than this, I did it my kindly provided me with one. She also tipped way. Regrets, I've had a few. And I'd had a few me off about a meeting at Goldsmith's College that fateful night at King's a few weeks ago. (issue 1043), attended by Mr Karian and some Dance like a demon, I tell you. It does seem a of the most left-wing people on the face of the shame that despite the way we avidly followed Earth, which proved to be very enjoyable, so no each other's careers, Ian Caldwell and I never harm done. Anyway, I must wish Sarah all the met. I put it down to some swine pinching all the best for next year, safe in the knowledge that she Rector's dinner invitations from my pigeon hole. will do a better job than him at ULU and stay When it comes to College Estates I did what I the distance. But through it all, when there was had to do and saw it through without exemp- doubt, I ate it up and spat it out, which brings me tion. I planned (members of said department nicely to College Catering. When I was at school, unsure of this word's meaning are referred to a an article I wrote about school dinners got me dictionary] each charted course of action, each hauled up before the Headmaster to explain careful step along the satirical byway. Who am I myself. It is therefore reassuring that tilings are kidding? Attacking Estates was like shooting fish dealt with a little more rationally at Imperial. in a barrel, as taxing as stealing candy from a Criticism is at least accepted, but mismanage- baby. I suspect that all the noisy building work ment and inefficiency seem to get the ostrich around College will be suspended now that the head treatment of blissful ignorance. It would be exams are out of the way, since we wouldn't great to think that one day the current outfit want to disturb the paying guests over the sum- might be booted out after competitive tender- mer, dear me no. ing. We can't go on propping up the MDH to the tune of nearly £200 000 per year, a loss partly The post of ULU President being occupied disguised by selling mediocre sandwiches at vast- by Ghassan Karian is also regrettable, although I ly inflated prices in the JCR and the efforts of hear he has now resigned, giving me yet another Southside Shop, where multinational corpora- excuse to spend some money in Southside Bar. I tions could be bankrupted buying the weekly have long held reservations about him, con- groceries. Is it unreasonable to expect hot and- firmed by his moonlighting for Uncle Tony Blair, cold meals which are both edible and affordable? could not have come at a more opportune time, I think not. given the beef ban and the resultant tide of / loved, I laughed and cried, I had my fill,Euroscepticism my . Those of you who have closely share of losing. Up until recently, the fortunes ofollowef d this column will realise that I am as the England football team had closely followed likely to jump into bed with the federalists as my stunning success on the National Lottery. Elle Macpherson is to jump into bed with me While I still throw money away on a weekly (realism had to dawn eventually), as over the basis, the expected upturn following the replace- year I have had cause to question the path which ment of Anthea Turner by Bob Monkhouse hav- has been chosen for Europe by France and ing failed to materialise, the boys with three lions Germany. It is frustrating that the debate in on their shirts are now playing better than I can Britain is split between the extremes of mone- ever remember. The stunning demolition of the tary union or out, both of which are very dam- Dutch last week was incredible, and the sound aging aims. We are accused of anti-European of Rule Brittania bellowing out of Wembley was behaviour over the beef ban, but let us not forget deeply moving, and now as tears subside, I findthe way that France helped prop up the entire it all so amusing. To think they did all that,GAT and T Agreement to secure what it wanted for I I may I say, not in a shy way, that game will go its farmers, almost causing the collapse of five down as one of my greatest sporting memories, years of painstaking negotiation. I refuse to take and I am sure I am not exaggerating. By the time lectures on co-operation from countries whose you read this we should be in the semi-finals, self-interest is so fiercely defended regardless of having despatched Spain, but let's not tempt anything. fate. On the basis of their current form, they And that's yer lot, kids. May I thank every- could and should win it, which would give the one who has read my humble prose over the country an incredible boost and remove the self- year and especially those who have commented doubt that many have about Britain (or should on it with ideas, criticisms or praise. Oscar Wilde that be England, as my Celtic flatmate has was absolutely right about being talked about. It observed?). We can but hope. If they do win, has been very enjoyable and, I'd like to think, John Major could do worse than call a snap gen- li made a few ripples on the Imperial pond. eral election to take advantage of the rampant For what is a man, what has he got, if not feel-good factor which would sweep the country. himself then he has not. To say the things he truly It worked for Harold Wilson after 1966 and I see feels and not the words of one who kneels. The no reason why it wouldn't work again. record shows I took the blows and did it my way. England's resurgence on the football field Yes, it was my way. Simon Ings: Hotwire M'MMM\eBjMM:7'M a summer reading listsa ulnl.s 'ZiMRMMM$M:&M ''SPMpi Sentient cities, manufactured organisms and ifii |I;: I st -ffia*:C'iP P pm<. 2M$: 7] Looking through the four bookcases which I can technology-ambivalent societies are the scenery. pin gp 777J./ BPliB' C>i:pc!||f;: .'. i:.?! now justifiably call my 'library', I am reluctant to The foreground is a story ofmisunderstood love, : ; v ftiOP; t h t'..: b H:3j8i::> £ - si.PP7$7 S single out those books which I like a lot from and the blurring of the distinction between nat- those I like a little less. What follows is not so ural and manufactured. iPP'oaP: d'MPiP: to PSoy «p: much a list of favourites as a selection of recom- Ursula K. LeGuin: The Dispossessed i'!< k< ' : ' :'fPi5'iCPip b:2ari™'. 'P'P:ijiP- mendations, and if you notice a propensity The story of one man's development of a meta- "PPiiii ,p PP: pPPPiilrlP' towards a certain genre, you are correct. I make physical communication theory, set against the 'PipPcP.p>.yiCP. i w< ! < no apologies. juxtaposition of two ideologically opposed soci- 1 Pa y' P'PPPPP >M tvP'-thc j.rny-i:" Whatever you read, have a good summer! eties. As each system tries to manipulate him, he iSy C <' t'iPi'V PPPpPP i | C i' |Pp-- - P: becomes convinced that neither is best. LeGuin i |!1 ilP argues that solutions are not found in ideals. IPiiPpP : Iain Banks: The Crow Road Plpp iKpi'lpiij/'iAij stPPPPr.P ; The 'archetypal' Scottish Novel, of a young man Nicholas Royle: Counterparts : '.:i'p.»aP': i i ii.;;''-;-P:v,.i :.Uii:i Ti iPPcPy ;; finding his way and the settling of old family The lives of an aspiring actor and a tightrope feuds. A mixture of the macabre, black humour, walker are interwoven through dreams and ' P: i PP fly y HP 1 y P pp:;y, / other blurrings of reality- Although very readable, PP -:;:',v. yppp «,p.i:iyiifycaP-i-. ' ; a few deaths, and an atypically upbeat ending :':; : :. .pyC gyiey pippPsP : make a very readable novel. it's not for the squeamish. ' i P yyPPPiyPPPPs' 'i-i'Tttrr--.. John Brunner: Stand on Zanzibar Neal Stephenson: The Diamond Age I a . , i >. ' i:; tJ'i rye .' . . , ' o i r - If you want to understand the origin of 'road Although somewhat tongue-in-cheek, this novel ;.?!.;' 7 s: P' ixw sW, '. gu est PP s / 7 rage', then this chronicle of overcrowding is very of education in a high-nanotech, stratified society ;> '-"i'ii i"*:P.;'3aviii';; i riipPipi: ny? convincing. The unique style, which uses still has real ideas to discuss. Kurt Vonnegut: Slaughterhouse 5 iP.ee;.glAs;yxP/iy;liei'K ajid P extracts from fictionalbooks , takes a while to get : A i;'i'iOO.iH.iy. vPrtv'P3i,..B.B dote 5pjn;::sat-sun leaves, she follows and she tells, "I killed my father - stabbed him twelves times". Story 3: Don't look for me. A married man .' .' ' "i (Peter Weller) has an affair with a young woman (Chiara Caselli). Exasperated by his inability to ,: !.((;; : 'i' 5W35533 0/:0.-K decide between his wife or the young seductress, ::.!:': cp'::>.: ,v.0 >;stfj . .* his wife leaves him. She moves into a rented flat .":":5'.': 3 '555, 533.30 and meets Carlo (Jean Reno) whose wife has just left him and taken all the furniture with her. i ''3 0,. 5 35, 0 539 i0 Story 4: The body of dirt. Vincent Perez : v isi'i 'CT '/: :" .' : „. ;,:; , 33hamesmead estate. "film: beautiful thing ,: ,, Coming out would be so much simpler if all If I had to name the worst part of Beautiful mothers got used to the news of a gay son as 3355: 53x Thing, I'd have a hard job deciding between the quickly as Sandra (Linda Henry). There is a hor- 355::X:..: . soundtrack and the ending. Very much a feel rendously naff wailing violin soundtrack, with ;':';' ]'.;:;,'35233..2335 good movie, it tells the tale of Jamie (Glen some Mamas and Papas thrown in from next- 3 5:; 3.30;5-,:235,_5};..;(3- ..' 3 5 55:! 3 ' ' Berry) and Ste (Scott Neal), two teenage boys door neighbour Leah (Tameka Empson) and her ' 535,3 353.305 who fall in love. Two straight actors play the main drunken antics, but if you can ignore it the scat- tering of humour brings out a good laugh. In fact .5 < '5 : parts and give a realistic edge to some of the awk- it is the humour which saves the film, with some : 2/:5 -.35.. 5.33, 9,2{j wardness of the early steps of realisation, but the : : !.; :.3CV' bu:,- , film's biggest fault lies in the speed and simplicity excellent one liners from Sandra's prat of a 55 -'v-r*- 3.3 i .;o3.-');.: ; :,:3. with which they come out. If anything the plot boyfriend Tony (Ben Daniels). And the ending? b< tiiv (ipin belittles the (difficulties the boys would face in Well, the less said the better. reality, especially in the uninviting setting of the ,-.' - .:; ' 5 . '22 O is only when Amy leaves, having told Jack she's tiitso 120, 431,1).4(1, S.^ -video: jack and saraht fed up with being taken for granted, that Jack Oc ',:;:.": :" 0: ,s :' P. 3 3 d||f Rchard E. Grant (Withnail & I) plays Jack, a realises how much he has come to love Amy. . ' '". 5 „'': successful lawyer married to the pregnant Sarah Richard E. Grant plays the middle-class, (Imogen Stubbs). After moving into their new prospective father in the typical way: appearing house and having a house-warming party at flustered, over-protective, and totally unpre- 335/ 35x which Jack gets hideously drunk, Sarah goes into pared for fatherhood. Dame Judi Dench plays 5>« ::33;:5,xO labour. In the ensuing panic Jack is knocked Jack's mother a woman, who has no faith in her ' : ' ,3,50 unconcious. He awakes later to be told that son's ability to cope with a new-bom baby and i3>3 MrM 2 3, 52.7, 9.:: Sarah has died giving birth to a baby daughter, certainly doesn't agree with his choice of 5:ix;0 :p;". whom Jack names Sarah. At first Jack turns to babysitter. -: : ;:. ..I5'..:i. ,;2 :0,> the bottle for comfort, but his parents soon The film, although dealing with rather tragic make him face up to his responsibilities by circumstances takes a rather light-hearted view leaving baby Sarah with him. During his adjust- of it and has some extremely fonny scenes, the ment to fatherhood he hires Amy (Samantha dialogue including some wonderfully timed sar- Mathis) an American nanny with too little expe- castic one-liners from Jack. rience in looking after small babies, resulting in This video is well worth checking out if several arguments between her and Jack. After you're after a video which requires the min- regaining his feet Jack begins dating again but it imum of concentration to follow the story-line. album: the blue nile - singles:, Never before have the drums been left so peace at last, dick barren of effects as on 'Love Come Down', ; 5 4;4:.30 5V->; - 9' < '[ 553' refreshing in their simplicity. Not that everything ' .:Vr:Pp3lPsS*r.sp:; Your faith can be sorely tested when the sign on the album works; Holy Love' is the worst 0:055295055505 25 5555500:' you've been waiting for is not quite all that you thing they've ever committed to tape, and expected. So it was with me when 'Hats' (The thankfully short. Whilst the music is still largely .M4i''J']iiMi7?4'4iii4444:; Blue Nile's second album) was released in 1989, resplendant, the lyrics are strangely limp. You 112-5t:»Pl2 '.-.A 005555 55 00:5 some six years after their first stunningly beauti- can only sing love and yeah yeah yeah so many .2llll|pj 4'ii ful creation. The two now sit side by side, never times before it becomes passe. far from the CD player, the gap next to them Redemption comes in the form of 'God waiting to be filled by Paul Buchanan's next Bless You Kid' and the obligatory sparsely-deco- vision. And here it is, seven years on (and with rated 'Family Life'. These two are the true sav- 4444:44i4i>:: :M'M.s v '444' only one tour to their credit, where the religious iours but I now know from experience that the 44005i44'i4fi: 44; 00": ' ' -.)VP fervour of the audience was all-encompassing). rest will reveal themselves in their own good 'iiis9.} ii:|295'2.'; J 5 5v55o5.*0.5::. But what of this, the latest offering? Best time.When a Blue Nile disciple hears the strains V joo i'iii 0Miiii 251 <: yo act described as earthy, perhaps. The polish of the of 'Tinsel Town in the Rain' emanating fromhi s : 44'4' y555: 1 i::\i;":4*i. W0.5. first two albums has been tarnished to a degree neighbour's house, he is seen to nod sagely - where the accompaniment for the first track, belief is never more powerful than this. Only the hen folds five v. here s 'Happiness', is a foot tapping on echoing floor- most hardened agnostic will not be swayed by at :M44'X/'W4i:4i'M' boards. And it works beautifully, growing into a least some part of this album. Go on... light a 5#V::4444'4' ' v ii44>444: 5 rousing gospel praise-be. candle (8) 44xfi» 44§4M4'4]74M4:;A.}:4 album: 808 state - .. M444iM4'::' ' 9|52p: ;s:: Manic Street Preachers, and the 'Pacdie'-esque don solarise 'Joyrider', but the rest oi it is rather ll&rentO, 3|55'» 4>.44444oi 53,; r; 44:i J.:, 1.!.; o 4 Almost every tune vomes oxer If i poar ii4$44:ii:44i4 ollllllli mixtu people's work, sounding in turn ; ; 0552 |0f o55;250||li5; 5553 W$4 i late 802, and tunes like 'Pat ifk and 'Lulnk' will like Mike< )ldfield, 'ah Wobble, Aphex Twin and 47iMM&t4i4i4444i474744: alwa) s i '\ oke happy memories. 'Ex-El' was a pio- ']?M4M44ii4'i: neering alhtim*sifid ahhoueh diey haven't released anything siq||l§992, 805 re ' ;.iMW'' &4;4:4r:i::>. 5'5555.0l5 : : 5;3ii '4vM4iiWM4i[rii4ii4i Bomb the Bass and Bfork. £447 55oMo'5>s525iC055..0cr50 I nl. jrti.ilately, this album faUs disappoint- oill55:4M4i' ". ii i 5f/o5|o52o5K: i 5 '4:4i355355.5:4.7:044' up with sonic pretty good tunes, such as on to emulating die craft of its 'influences', and just .-::iMi4i447:''^M§W44.i. ljopcz. sung by James Dean BradfieJd of the ends up urt*l and cliche-fcd A hu> let-down (2) gig: sleeper + longpigs + denly guitarist Jon Stewart is illuminated by two octopus™^ piercing spotlights, frantically stmrrrming the first chords from Dress Like Your Mother'. The It was an Indolent night at Brixton Academy, drums kick in and then Louise appears - the kids with all three bands from the same label. First up go utterly bonkers. And this is just the start. was Octopus, who supported the Auteurs at Louise commands all the attention, scam- their last London gig. They've improved vastly pering round the stage like a rabbit on speed, and since then; the trumpets have tightened up and mad-man drummer occasionally stands up to the lyrics are delivered with passion. The band beat the hell out of his kit. All this energy builds play fairly middling songs which tend to become up into 'Inbetweener', the Sleeper anthem. The a little confusing at times, due to so many things crowd descend into total insanity - everyone in happening at once. It seems as if all the band the gig is pogoing up and down, including the members are playing a solo simultaneously. thMysomething couples with their arms around Having said that, the final track of the set is the each other. Most of the rest of the material is excellent current single 'Your Smile' and the from 'The It Girl' but the old favourite band leave on a high note. Delicious' sends all the teenage lads into a fren- By the time Longpigs come on, Brixton zy, and one even makes it onto the stage. academy has turned into a sweat box and the Sleeper hammer through 'Sale of the frenetic moshing encouraged by Crispin and co. Century', 'Ue Detector', 'Good Luck Mr does little to cool the air. Brilliant renditions of Gorsky' and several more until the set ends with the brilliant tracks on a brilliant album makes the the loudest bit of feedback/random drumming I set, well, brilliant. The whole crowd join in with have ever heard. The encores were that scream from 'She Said' and the band leave 'Shrinkwrapped' and the band's debut single the venue buzzing with excitement. Alice', a blast from the past if ever I heard one. I have to admit it, I thought Sleeper were That's how wrong I was - top tunes, top going to be crap live. How wrong can you be? lights, and a top bird - what more can you ask The stage starts off in pitch darkness and sud- for? POO singles: -album: porno for pyros - Don't get me wrong, 'Good God's Urge' is musically a very good album. Compared to the good god's urgepaili output of most other American alternative bands these days, it is brilliant. It's definitely better than Jane's Addiction albums were always inspiring. the previous album, which was universally slated They invoked emotions, whether it was the sad- for its sheer mediocrity. The crucial point is that ness of 'I Would for You', the angry resentment despite using many of the same musical styles might like Stonysleep. of 'Had a Dad' and 'Been Caught Stealing' or the and ideas of Jane's Addiction, the end product Pi obleru is that it's not mellow wistfulness of 'Mountain Song'. Every just doesn't quite hit the spot. song made you feel something. The new tracks touch on a new vein of psy- Sonic Youth have ai reach, Unfortunately the same can rarely be said of chedelia and blissed-out coolness but the sound Pomo for Pyros, the current project led by ex- is still the same. The overall impression is that io ' : st "". , c Janes ffontman Perry Farrell. The problem for Perry has calmed down, stopped being angry and Perry is that his new baby will always be judged has now gone all mystical. 'Tahitian Moon' and Pf p i|lta.r m' a elfIIP if; against the immensely high standards of its older 'Kimberly Austen' stand out in this respect, and brother. The sad truth is that Pomo for Pyros are the ones that come close to repeating past 53'sg .iS^^^SlHIilJ^lspl seem increasingly unable to reach these stan- glories. The rest is good - occasionally 'rocking', %;. it sol elpf ilif ;t&5llf, dards. occasionally beautiful - but rarely brilliant (7) amazing hyperspeed album: placebo - as in the possibly autobiographical 'Nancy Boy' where the lead singer's bisexuality comes to the P§IH placeboia fore. An immense feeling of sadness and sorrow bedroom.. permeates most of the record, particularly in Placebo arrived on the music scene at a point songs such as 'I Know' and 'Lady of the Flowers', when Britpop seems to have nearly run out of a trait seen in some great albums of the recent goya dress c rush steam and a multitude of clone bands have past such as the Smashing Pumpkins' 'Siamese swamped the charts. Undeniably there are still Dream'. some very good Britpop bands out there but it There is another side to Placebo, heard in indiepop singles. Sounds seems that Placebo are heading in just one of the their debut single 'Bruise Pristine' and the cur- PtllSig directions that new guitar-based alternative rent '36 Degrees', which are full of sheer exu- pI5§|g^ music is progressing towards. berance and racing grating guitars. Placebo sound Si ptember. The lead singer has a very distinctive whin- very progressive and the release of this album is ing voice and has spent most of his life in the tiny bound to herald the emergence of more 'alter- country of Luxembourg. There is an ever pre- native' indie bands. Who knows, it might even sent sexual undercurrent throughout the album, do some good (7) in-M Massive Attack. i nl. Perfect hiII-out :|»I|lc;;..;.:,:;:i:| |p253 i;P33ffiiffiP|53 :;I5#335|3 ;-^y^|}'^BPS&ht clif Pi i|f 6if p!5i355P5(?Pi P5|| -' . gig: dissident prophet then you would be if you were all expert musi- cians' who played rock songs which have more A few months ago I 3 passion, more quality and more substance than "the Ivst new band in Britain" about this you'd find in the dreams of almost any other unknown Brummie loo. wii ih - jo still ''5p52cypn 5.r-M unknown Sut if anything they're getting 1«11 3;ii ifley canlillij play 'Unconditional so it can only be a matter of tft^^^re oth< 1 s Love', a tour de force of wrenching beauty, yet are saying the same things about them. still play a set which lacks nothing (other than For a group who've been together for a rel- some crowd input, but then no crowd, no input) atively short length of time, they are disamw a says everything about their output and their tal- confident (note: not arrogant or swaggering). But ent. May their musical reign be ushered in soon... thanks: all reviewers - bEA, Caroline, the ever-mysterious Davros C. Dick, Ian, Jason, Jim, K.S. Pulaski, Uttle Jack and everyone elsev,k Horne-y, Lucas, Mark, Max, Mr. Happy, Mr. Trout, Nick, Paul, Paul Shore, and Rachel) who Okay, so this is my opportunity to come over all have contributed to the music pages over the last cheesy and soppy (that's a warning by the way, year and made life easier for me. Thanks also to not an apology). Catfish for stepping in with the hatchet at regu- I just want to thank all the people (Alok, lar intervals. Andy Steele, Andy Thompson, Babe Magnet, You can vom now... TWENTY-FOUR . FELIX WEDNESDAY JUNE 25TH 1996 THE STAFF ON THE EDITOR What is she like? The first time I met Rachel was around 18 months ago. [t;Wli;:less than a week into my term as DP(F&S) and Rachel Came to interview me. Even at that early stage she demonstrated her eye for an interesting story as well as her passion for various metals (the interview was regard- ing the Union's plumbing!). It was here that I first wifnessed arguably Rachel's greatest strength; her ability to charm the socks off absolutely anybody. Her natural friendliness and approachability hove been a great k. Dan Look Apparently it's 'traditional' to write some nice words about the outgoing Felix editor in the last issue, and as one of the general no-lifers and permanent fixtures of the office, I've been nabbed as one ofihe men to do the job. Errn... what to say? OK, I'll be methodical about it 1. Comparison with Other Felix Editors I Have Known That only gives me Owain (last year) to compare to. Very different! More prone lout than Owain, and shorter too. Also more female, Rachel has been very successful this year in getting on with - and talking to t.upstairs' in the Union Office. This can only be a good thing, and I've been very impressed with the long-term attitude she has taken to mon ilanning issues. I've heard too many grim tales of Editorial Folly in the past, but this year I think Rachel has left a positive mark on Felix Oi Print Unit. The Great Separation of Felix and Print Unit is upon us, and Rachel has also spent a huge amount of time ensuring that the Hand >k gets produced more efficiently (or at all). 2. General Compliments on Character, Style and Punctuality Rachel is - when not doing twenty things at once - one of the most disarming!/ friendly people I have come to know at Imperial. She's coped with having to justify and defend Felix under attack from some quite hideously rude and two-faced people this year (no names) and managed to do so politely (although it's just as well they don't hear what happens when they leave the room). Rachel is very supportive of her Felix 'lackeys' and has had to perform emotional open-heart surgery more than once this year. She's been more than just an Editor, but a great friend to many people, and I doubt whether I would have survived this year without her. 3. But is She a Babe? Undoubtedly. Mark Baker So you read Felix this year - what did you think the person who organised it was like? Did you read those editorials and think "My God, what the heck are they on?" Or wonder at the belief that things could change? Or maybe you didn't even realise that Felix has a full time edi- tor. What many people don't recognise is the job's isolation, something that I still find incredible. The trouble is that when the Editor has to spend the vast majority of their time cooped up in a dreary office (as much as they may try to get out) the public all too often consists of the minority of readers who come in to complain. Positive reaction from students or staff had a similar positive effect on Rachel as it did on last year's editor. As the year progressed it was frightening to see how Rachels reactions to events became so similar to her predecessor's. Perhaps seventy-plus hours a week in this office has an effect that is impossible to withstand. But can it be a year since Rachel bounded down the stairs in the Union ecstatic at her decisive victory in the elections? It seems like anoth- er lifetime when we were planning those hustings speeches which filled me with terror. Like everything else that resulted from her election, she managed to take it all in her stride. There is no doubt though that her time as Editor has had significant effects on Rachel, not all of them things that she might have liked. I suspect that it may be quite some time before Rachel is seen around the Union, or in College at all, after July. Disillusionment with vast tracts of College, the Union ana journCiifsm seems to have increased as the year has progressed;;: For those of us left, it is sad that Rachel feels so strongly about getting out of Imperial since it was here that most of us met her. There aren't many people who can talk Irish politics and organised religion in an inebriated state and still vaguely make sense. Andrew Dorman-Smith LETTERS AND EDITORIAL FELIX WEDNESDAY JUNE 26TH 1996 . TWENTY FIVE LETTERS TO FELIX Dear Felix, Dear Felix, Felix I and the rest of the band "Urban 'We are sensitive to exam pres- FOUNDED 1949 Spice" were very suprised to read sures, although some students PRODUCED FOR AND ON BEHALF OF IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION that our performance at the union may not believe that.' Ian Caldwell PUBLICATIONS BOARD on February 9th had won an is so sensitive to exam pressures PRINTED BY THE IMPERIAL COLLEGE UNION PRINT UNIT award as we didn't know we'd that as Head of Estates he allows BEIT QUAD PRINCE CONSORT ROAD LONDON SW7 2BB been entered (Feiix 1060). We the library to be taken over by TELEPHONE/FAX 0171 594 8072 would like to thank STOIC for workmen intent on making the life EDITOR: RACHEL WALTERS PRINTER: ANDY THOMPSON sending the tape in and selflessly of those studying inside a misery. BUSINESS MANAGER: JULIETTE DECOCK taking all the praise on our behalf. Considerable numbers of stu- COPYRIGHT FELIX 1996. We must all congratulate dents were so disrupted in their ISSN 1040-0711 STOIC on their success as so many study over Easter Vacation by the unscrupulous people these days horrendous drilling beneath Suggestions for a final editorial, suitable for all occasions would not ask the band before Southside that some of them had entering a video of one of their to be given a second room in a) One last irritable snipe back maybe you all had very high gigs into a competition now would Weeks Hall. Maybe the fact that at the enemy expectations for what is still just they? they have been monetarily recom- There are a few final ends to a students' newspaper. If the Urban Spice (Simon Wilkins, pensed leads Ian to the conclusion tie up: the Warden of Selkirk Iranian Society speaker's name Stefan Finch, Rick Aldred, John that he is 'sensitive' to student and Tizard Halls was quoted in was misspelt, maybe it was Martin, Russel Stothard) needs. an ambiguous context last week, because someone spent hours P.S. Do you know they The latest, and most sicken- for which I apologise. When he trying to track down a knowl- charged us £10 for a copy of the ing incident of college's blatant said that "there is no security in edgeable source before giving up video too! disregard for students is the Halls other than that which the to go to his Aeronautics lecture recently exposed 'Week's inci- students provide themselves" I instead. We're tried our best. Dear Felix, dent'. It just happened that work think he was trying to say that I am extremely disappointed at the started at 8am each day and that we are all responsible for those e) Bid for freedom quality of your news reports. The a 'Let's impress the high and we let in. He was certainly not Look, lighten up, will you? If article on the Iranian Society ban mighty' event was due to occur a expressing any lack of confi- you're not going to take it all in last week's Felix (issue 1061) few days later. The story may have dence in security staff. But I with a pinch of salt and a healthy was full of inaccuracies, misrepre- been believable at the time, but have to say, Dr Hassard, that I set of expectations, then I'm off. sentations and even spelling mis- how is the dispassionate Director would feel much more inclined Up north to make girders lor takes. of Estates going to live this one to offer an apology if I had got British Steel, actually. Wouldn't First of all, I am not sure what down? the complaint directly from touch journalism with a ten-foot your news team mean by the "inci- If he is willing to stand up for yourself, rather than second barge pole ever again. dent in the Huxley building". what he did - and justify it - then hand. Despite hot weather, poor air con- maybe he deserves to be listened I) Littlc-kid-meets-VIP awe ditioning system and a late start to, otherwise the man is exposed b) Luwie tear-jerker There was something imposed by the college security, as a fraud. At the very least Felix Mum and Dad: thank you tremendously inspiring about the lecture went extremely should investigate every word of for supporting me through it. I meeting the Rector. Somehow, smoothly, and no particular "inci- what he says before believing that promise I'll get a proper job now. and I don't know how, he made dent" took place. the man is ever out for students Inky: it's been fabulous. me feel really proud to be part of Secondly, I found your rather than his precious VIP's and this tremendous institution. description of Dr Soroush (not the plaudits of His Royal Highness c) Straight forward apology Sonosh!) as someone who "is the Rector. I'm sorry: I tried to meet g) Genuine nostalgia known to Scotland Yard" extreme- Yours, the students' complaint of "too I'm very, very tired right ly offensive and derogatory. Dr Disgusted of Southside boring!" and the staff complaint now, but I'm still not looking for- Soroush is an internationally (name witheld by request) of "too sensationalist!" and failed ward to saying goodbye to it all. renowned thinker and philosopher at both. I'm moving on now - I've had superb fun... and you who has been invited to some of Dear Rachel, time for someone else to have a know, there are bits of it I'm the most prestigious academic COMMEMORATION DAY 1996 - go- quite proud ol. institutions in Europe and North CHANGE OF DATE America. In any case, the fact that Please note that the date of d) Pathos-laden bid for the sym- h) All of the above, he spoke here at Imperial College Commemoration Day this year has pathy vote can only add to the college's inter- had to be changed from Thursday It's been really, really diffi- Thanks for bearing with me. national reputation. 24 October to Thursday 31 cult, and at the end of the day I very much hope that, in October due to the Albert Hall future, greater care is taken fo being unavailable on the earlier EDITORIAL TEAM: ensure that college news is report- date. NEWS: ALEX FEAKES FEATURES: MARK BAKER ed accurately and without distor- Yours Sincerely, SUB-EDITING: TIM ST CLAIR MUSIC: VIK BANSAL tion. Jackie Sweet CINEMA: WEI LEE PHOTOGRAPHY: IVAN CHAN Yours sincerely, Assistant Registrar PUZZLES: CATFISH ARTS: JEREMY SCIENCE: BEN WILKINS A member of the audience none!: MARK, TIM, JEREMY, ALEX, ROBIN, JON & MARK H (Name withheld by request) COLLATING LAST WEEK: ALEX, MARK, GIDON AND ROBIN TWENTY six . FELIX WEDNESDAY JUNE 26TH 1996 CREDITS There really isn't enough room to thank all those who have contributed this year, even less so those who have supported, counselled and advised. The people who have been involved in Felix 95 - 96 have encouraged and inspired me, and a great many have become superb friends. What follows is 1 600 words of in-jokes to thank just a few of them: it will probably not mean a great deal to anyone but those concerned, for which I make no apology. Allow me one last page of self-indugence... Miles Ambler encouraged me to stand for the job in the first place and I still feel guilty that he didn't get his, but hey, he got the last laugh! Is there anything that marhBahEr can't do? The ultimate in technical assistants, he was the one who actually got things done, and really is the person without whom it would never have been possible. What a starrr... So damning had Simon Baker been on my predecessors I was terrified to actu- ally ask him to step over to the other side. I am still overwhelmed at his instatiable enthusiasm and perseverance long after I could be bothered to keep pushing the points. VIK bflllSflL : The most laid back man I've ever met, dedicated to the end, despite it being two days before his wedding! This man has more moral fibre than the rest of them put together, and I respect him immensely. Nat Barb : Infectious enthusiasm, and a female to boot! Nat had an amazing knack of appearing just when there was no one else around. Thanks! OWAIN BENNALLACK : What can I say? Hero, inspira- tion, mentor, person to take the piss out of... In retrospect I'm beginning to realise that I probably was quite useful to you, which might go in some small way towards returning the favour of giving me everything I have had. The world is a better place for the idealism of MARK BRIDGE. I'm sorry I was too cynical for him. It is a very great shame that Felix hacks of the future will never have known Terry Briley: our man on the inside; endlessly enter- taining, but far more importantly someone who never hid the fact that he actually had rather a soft spot for students. Ian Caldwell : Scapegoat '95 - '96. Single handedly helped achieve the one goal I really felt I made: to actually begin to tell the students what was going on. I need say nothing other than that Ivan Chan is a truly lovely guy, who probably never realised how much 'Mom!' appreciated his straightforward dedication and enthu- siasm. The fact that the one major argumental upset I've had all year was with Matt i l« flint! II is a very great shame, because I have much fonder memories of that day when we had our photographs taken on the roof of the chemistry building. I think he has done a great job, though I continue to be intimidated by the tidiness of his desk. Juliet* &)eeae&vjas the great unsung behind-the-chaos heroine of the early days, and the person who I really deserved nothing from at all. Thank you. The presence of PAUL MAS has a lot to do with me being here in the first place. That he has hardly spoken to me since is, quite frankly, crap. MUMUW DORMAM-VMIIH never let me get away with anything without an argument, which was pretty cool: I'd trust this man with my life. The craic's been good, and I'll miss you. I honestly don't know what to make of fcWlWW P WMJWlWW: normally peo- ple I like aren't quite so infuriating! Thank you: for putting up with being patronised, for wanting to be here next year, and for Robert Fisk on the sofa. Dipak Ghosh was superb (until he disappeared!), happily gifted with the unusual combination of being really keen and a good writer to boot! I wish I'd had the courage to ask Hikf flnflSETfor help earlier; not many in Sherfield are so honest, even if it's not what you want to hear. [l00IHanHa(|llB: the most prolific writer I have ever met, and, in the end, not like all the other kids... As Tories go, Stephen Hamilton isn't all that bad! Besides, any- one who turns up just when the interest is beginning to thoroughly flag and quite happily takes on the most tedious job of the lot gets my vote! Sarah HickingbOttOm is one of very few of my old friends that actually weighed in, which meant a great deal. .Katie Hopkins, Jenny Ho and Adrian Berry were the great cogs on the frighteningly reliable cinematic team. They were so remarkably efficient I never got to know them, which is a bit of a shame. Thanks for all the effort! What's great, what's exciting, what's fabulous? MB*)* HOMIS is definitely one of the good guys from upstairs, and one who seemed to appreciate how it was. "Whatcha, sex-god?" Somehow Jane Hoylehas managed to come to terms with the great fiscal mess that is the Felix/Print Unit finances. Tirelessly helpful: it was great to have her around. I have enormous admiration for Mandy Hurford and appreci- ate the fact that she listened to what I had to say. Thank you for making me feel worthwhile! The only problem I have with Jon Jordan is that he makes me feel thoroughly inept: this man seems to produce brilliancy in everything he touches. But I like to think a little of it rubs off, and besides, he made exceptionally good company last summer. Wei Lee has been the most reliable of the lot (by a long chalk) this year. He could never real- ly appreciate how high an accolade that is. If only William torcur's talent was matched with the willingness to sacrifice his degree in the way this place demands! He's taken some superb pictures this year. Not every Felix editor gets their own personal management consultant: I got Da,r% Look, an endless provider of 'meaningful management information'. Suffice to say that I couldn't have done it without him. Michael LudlaiTI is the only person who has really driven me to despair this year, so I thank him for heightening the experience. There's no point in working your third consecu- tive 100 hour week if can't have someone utterly unreasonable giving you abuse at the end of it. Joe McP-aJJen is just about the only person who didn't patronise me as if Thursday evening stress was a great sign of weakness. Thank you for your support I find GIDON MOONT fascinating because he's interested in all sorts of things I'm not! Thanks for all you've done. Steve Newhouse is the only member of the old school that made me really feel proud to be part of some sort of a heritage. Also an exceptionally useful information service! Ah, the life of Ro6in Rifey, late-comer on the news team and all round good bloke Gfaire SamueJ pottered in and out during second term with an enormously uplifting cheery smile and some rather good theatre reviews. If only it didn't sound like such faint praise to thank Tim Si.Oair heartily for being so thoroughly useful all year. Good luck in whatever you end up doing. j\ndy SinWaray's idealism and continual enthusiasm provided a motivating force at many of those times when I real- ly couldn't be arsed any more. I'm really sorry he couldn't make it back in the end, but am touched that he cared so much, -Erie Stables will proba- bly not remember the November morning he stopped me on the walkway at 8am on a Friday morning to tell me how much he enjoyed Felix. It helped immeasureably. PtT)(i|) TFforripsoi): If not quite God, than certainly a god of some sort. Things have changed since this time last year when I told Jeremy Thomson that he terrified me: If only he wasn't so damn unreliable! His enthusiasm has made it all worthwhile. ^^ed&^Affi&a^ has been saying supportive things at sporadic intervals all year, generally making me feel big and important. People like that help a lot! Most misunderstood '95 - '96: Hi Mill] has really pissed me off a couple of times this year, but underneath that bulldozing exterior there is a highly motivated, enthusiastic, inno- vative and hugely intelligent man. If only he could learn the meaning of tact and diplomacy more might have realised what an exceptional job he's done this year (Bral)ain tCresttt made me a lovely pizza once, and he has been a great escape. There have been a couple of occasions when I have really wanted to thump JfeufflMWM£bM WMmWIP But when he was sober he showed a great knack for writing and at least he was funny when he was pissed. Andrew Tseng told me smuggly I was bound to end up as editor about a fortnight after I first walked into the Felix office. Thank you for your confidence in me! I am forever grateful that t>*n J*r Slr»«l-«^ indulged my game of playing shops whilst explaining VAT to me for the 17th time. Thank you for your patience. Sarah "White put up with me patronising here all year. This woman has remarkable patience and has been a superb ambassador Ben Wilkini has provided the only part of Felix that I could say has been consistently excellent. He also has an inexplic- able, but damn handy enjoyment of collating. And if that wasn't enough, he's a lovely, caring and hilarious bloke. The first time I met Piers Williams I thought he was utterly horrendous: my first impressions have always been useless. Thanks for explaining all that Pub board stuff I knew nothing about, and good luck next year! Yvonne Woods and lan Richardson: thank you for feeding me. Emotional sustenance only goes so far! FELIX 1995 - 1996 FELIX WEDNESDAY JUNE 26TH 1996 . TWENTY SEVEN Back, left to right: Carlo Massarello (science), Paul Christian (music), Jenny Ho (cinema), Katie Hopkins (cinema), Wei Lee (advertising, cinema editor), Andy Thompson (printer), Jason Ramanathan (music), Vik Bansal (music editor), Robin Riley (news), Jeremy Thomson (arts editor, assistant printer), Adrian Berry (cinema). Front, left to right: William Lorenz (photography), Nick Osborne (music), Jim Wright (music), Mark Baker (features editor, layout and design), Rachel Walters (editor), Tim St.Clair (puzzles, sub-editing and proofing), Alex Feakes (news editor), Aunindya Sinharay (news), Andrew Dorman Smith (news). Absentees deserving a special mention: Simon Baker (columnist), Ivan Chan (photographic editor), Juliet Decock (business manager), Nooman Haque (features), Jonathan Trout (sport), Ben Wilkins (science editor). | F F % F % F % 1II ix ELIX ELIX ELIX ELIX ! ii/b-ul'f iihnr Move into Imcx'si : ;U'l last Day; .tve mm tmperitM I'i iii. ess Aime at iilei.. ling Be«s Ot»d? IB* j « I ~ » jjg| B 111 Mmmmmm L% F I F I FELIX F ELIX FEUX «,11:1 ix ELIX I ELIX Sissik-frts Switch EC i ,.sn £2 MiJksn ['. M! < lie- isiarss ieirs.'det in Vlwfe I FELIX ^ FELIX ^ FELIX FELIX k FELIX Medics !:h(e;sti'ii ? in ^ FELIX | FELIX % FELIX | FELIX * FELIX Mayhew: IRA. must call Jokes pre S; m CHMX SAIHIT! HITS RCS2 I FELIX I:LIX -4 FELIX FELIX JC vsnivc-rs-ilK' 'mdi.;ifcnt;ei:, 1 -; IC: «a ranks 3rd LjixH.s parti mil: in Ttn« league i & FELIX i FELIX Anane disaster 'No co Felix 95-96 Editor: Rachel Walters Printer: Andy Thompson Thank you.