Mindful Emotion Coaching Health Professionals Introductions
Dr Sarah Temple - GP - ww.emotioncoaching.co.uk
Karen Leafe -Parent Family Support Advisor Ham Hill Primaries 3 Focus For Today
- understanding the HOW TO of emotion regulation - Dan Siegel’s metaphor The Hand Model
- John Gottman’s 5 steps of Emotion Coaching 4 Focus for Today
Confidentiality – Rules of the Group- Flip Chart
Safeguarding
Working Together 2015 5 Feelings Matter - Warm Up
Are you disrespecting me?
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=are+you+disrespecting+me+teacher+pupil+lauren&&view=detail&mid=2381ABCD4088E66511932381ABCD4088E6651193&FORM=VRDGAR
think about the feelings going on underneath the behaviour in the pupil the teacher
The importance of a meta-emotion philosophy(Gottman, 1997) 6 Feelings Matter- Exercise
Ups and downs of working with people
What are the situations you really enjoy? What are the situations you find really stressful?
Can Emotion Coaching and Mindfulness help YOU do things differently?
How can YOUR Emotions and Mindfulness help create change? 7 Mindfulness
www.headspace.com
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=you+tube+headspace&view=detail&mid=0DBEE8B4D1D451AD4CE90DBEE8B4D1D451AD4CE9&FORM=VIRE
.be 8 emotioncoaching.co.uk
www.emotioncoaching.co.uk
-attachment theory – the brain as a social organ -neuroscience of emotions -mindfulness -emotion coaching 9 Emotional Responses
Paul Ekman – Core Emotions
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=joy+and+sadness+best+moments&view=detail&mid=62A9A7410912BD44156062A9A7410912BD441560&FORM=VIRE
Disgust Fear Anger Sadness Joy
Innate , hardwired and universal 10 Emotional Responses
The first step – being aware of our own emotions.
We use our awareness of our own emotions to notice other’s feelings.
This allows us to respond in an attuned way.
Modelling ways of expressing and managing emotions
Page 55 11 Emotional Responses
Choose an emotion that you remember experiencing in the last week
In brief, what happened/the event?
Where did you feel the emotion in your body?
What thoughts went through your head?
(How did you feel about having this feeling?)
TINT h/o 31,32 12 Attachment Theory
Through non invasive scanning of very young babies and children the brain has come to be seen as a ‘social organ’- dependent for normal development on stimulation through social interaction and influenced in a multifactorial way by other factors including epigenetics, physical health and diet. The importance of inter connectedness and relationships in human development has been extensively researched. Key early figures are: John Bowlby, Mary Ainsworth, Mary Main, Patricia Crittendon 13 Attachment Theory
Babies are born with the basic brain structure ….. neuronal connections form by the firing of neurones when the baby is stimulated.
A baby who receives loving attention will form different neuronal pathways from a baby whose parent or care giver is unable to be sensitive and synchronous.
The ‘different’ neuronal pathways that form in a baby with a parent or care giver who is unable to be synchronous is thought to be the basis for the formation of unbalanced emotional responses.
www.fivetothrive.org.uk 14 The Whole Brain
When all the areas of our brains are working together we experience a sense of integration and thriving
Dan Siegel calls this ‘The River of Wellbeing’ page 10 in workbook
PAGE 10 How much are we paying attention to building long term skills?
What do we want for ourselves and our relationships, now and through into the future? 15 The Whole Brain
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=still+face+experiment&view=detail&mid=A5C0B957E116723A14C0A5C0B957E116723A14C0&FORM=VIRE
Mirroring - Still Face Experiment
Connectomes and Attachment Theory 16 The Vagus Nerve
One of the ways the thinking part of your brain (frontal cortex) works with the brain stem calming your bodily responses and helping you stay balanced is via the vagus nerve. The vagus nerve is a cranial nerve which begins in the brain stem and travels to most of our vital organs including our heart and lungs. 17 Vagal Tone
Vagal Tone- How well your fight/ flight response and vagus nerve are balanced and work together, i.e. Regulate affect
Measuring pulse rate is one way of assessing vagal tone. 18 Emotion Coaching
Based on research by John Gottman (1997) in America
www.emotioncoaching.gottman.com Chapter 2 section1
Research suggests Emotion Coaching is a key to happy, resilient, and well-adjusted children and young people
Emotion Coaching is helping children and young people to understand the different emotions they experience, why they occur, and how to handle them 19 Emotion Coaching
“Much of today’s popular advice ignores the world of emotions. Instead, it relies on child-rearing theories that address the children’s behaviour, but disregard the feelings that underlie that behaviour” (Gottman, 1997) 20 Emotion Coaching
Become aware of emotion, especially if it is of a lower intensity (such as disappointment or frustration)
Connect and view emotion as an opportunity for intimacy and teaching
Accept -communicate your understanding and acceptance of the emotion – empathy
Reflect - Use words to describe feelings – ‘Name It to Tame It’
Page 26 End stage -If necessary, help them to solve problems. You may also communicate that all wishes and feelings are acceptable, but some behaviours are not.
Adapted from Gottman, J. M. & DeClair, J. (1997). The Heart of Parenting: Raising an Emotionally Intelligent Child. New York: Simon & Schuster. Tuning in to Teens Handouts 2,3,4,5 and 6 CARE 21 Emotion Coaching
Teaching children/ young people /us about the world of emotion ‘in the moment’
Giving strategies to deal with ups and downs
Accepting all emotions as normal
Not all Behaviour is OK
Building trusting and respectful relationships with children/ young people TINT h/o 2,3,4,5,6 TIK 2,3,4,5 22 Lessons Learned
To empathize
To read others’ emotions and social cues
To control impulses (Self-sooth and self-regulate)
To delay gratification
To motivate themselves
To cope with life’s ups and downs 23 Building Adult Capabilities to Improve Outcomes for Children
Mounting research from neuroscience and psychology tells us that there is a set of underlying core capabilities that adults use to manage life, work, and parenting effectively. These include, but are not limited to: planning, focus, self-control, awareness, and flexibility – a combination of Emotion Regulation and Executive Function.’ Center on the Developing Child at Harvard University (2016). Building Core Capabilities for Life: The Science Behind the Skills Adults Need to Succeed in Parenting and in the Workplace
Jack Shonkoff, Harvard University http://developingchild.harvard.edu/resources/building-adult-capabilities-to-improve-child-outcomes-a-theory-of-change/ 24 Disapproving Style
Disapproves of negative emotions – Viewed as a sign of weakness, lack of control, unconstructive Lacks empathy, noticeably critical and intolerant Tries to get rid of negative emotions via discipline, reprimand, punishment TINT 36,56 Focuses on the behaviour rather than the emotions generating the behaviour More likely to view negative emotional displays as a form of manipulation, lack of obedience, sign of bad character Often motivated by need to control and regain power and/ or to ‘toughen up’ child 25 Dismissing Style
good intentions but is uncomfortable with negative emotions Views negative emotions as toxic and so must be ‘got over quickly’ Considers paying attention to such emotions will make them worse, prolong them Tries to stop negative emotions by reducing/ minimising/ making light of their importance/ e.g. It’s no big deal, don’t worry about it, be a big girl, that’s life, you’ll be fine Often motivated by need to rescue and make things better, fix the problem, e.g. Have a biscuit, I’ll buy a new one, You need to do this Focuses on getting rid of the emotion with logic or distraction 26 Emotion Coaching Style
We all have feelings and need to recognize them in ourselves as well as others We are not alone and we are accepted, supported, valid, cared about, understood, trustworthy and respected – This is then returned We are empowered and it’s safe to engage in problem-solving All feelings are normal but need to be regulated and expressed constructively 27 Scripted Role Play
In pairs go through the two scripted role plays.
One person plays the child; one the parent
Start with the dismissive script;
Then the emotion coaching script
Feedback and discussion with the group
Tuning in to Teens Hand Outs 11,12,13,14
TINT 11,12,13,14 28 Home Work
Dan Siegel Workbook Chapter 1
Familiarise yourself with www.emotioncoaching.co.uk
Join our Facebook Page
Take a look at John Gottman Videos
TINT 11,12,13,14 Mindful Emotion Coaching Health Professionals Workshop 2 Introductions
Dr Sarah Temple - GP - ww.emotioncoaching.co.uk
Karen Leafe -Parent Family Support Advisor Ham Hill Primaries 31 Mindfulness
www.headspace.com
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=you+tube+headspace&view=detail&mid=0DBEE8B4D1D451AD4CE90DBEE8B4D1D451AD4CE9&FORM=VIRE
.be 32 Review Home Activity
In your groups either work in pairs or clusters:
- What stood out from the last workshop for you? - Have you tried using emotion coaching and emotion tuning? Share stories where it worked Share stories where it didn’t work Were there any surprises about how easy or hard it was?
- Have you noticed anything new about people’s emotions in your work setting?
- Do you have any questions about Emotion Coaching that you would like to clarify?
.be 33 Focus For Today
- understanding the HOW TO of emotion regulation - Dan Siegel’s metaphor The Hand Model
- John Gottman’s 5 steps of Emotion Coaching 34 Focus for Today
Developing Empathy and maintaining compassion
Rules for the Group
Working Together 2015 35 Developing Empathy
Recognise all emotions as being natural and normal and not always a matter of choice Recognise behaviour as communication (Relational vs Behavioural Model) Look for physical and verbal signs of the emotion being felt Take on the other’s perspective (Mentalising/ Mind-mindedness) Use words to reflect back emotion Provide a narrative for the emotional experience (creating cognitive links) 36 Maintaining compassion
Guided relaxation/meditation/mindfulness
Emotional Self Care
Meta Emotion Philosophy
Emotional Awareness/ mindfulness
Page 49, 52
TINT 35,41,42 37 Emotion Detective Exercise
Imagine you tell a friend how upset you are and they tell you ‘ ‘don’t be upset’ or say ‘you are just tired’
Sit with this response for a moment and tune in to how your body feels- do you feel tight? Do you feel safe and supported or alone?
Now imagine that the person you turned to offers you connection – how would you think, feel and experience this?
Tuning in to Teens Handout 29
Page 22 38 Empathy examples
‘You seem to be feeling angry. I would feel angry if that happened to me. It’s normal to feel like that.’
‘I can see you’re frowning and I wonder if you’re feeling anxious.‘
‘I think that something’s not quite right – can you tell me about it…’
‘You look a bit fed up…’
‘It’s normal to feel like this.’
‘What does your body feel like now? 39 Problem Solving Together
All feelings are OK but not all behaviour is OK
When the child is calm and in a relaxed, rational state: Explore the feelings that give rise to the behavior/problem/incident
Scaffold alternative ideas and actions that could lead to more appropriate and productive outcomes
Empower the child to believe s/he can overcome difficulties and manage feelings/behaviour TINT 57 40 Problem Solving Together
All feelings are OK but not all behaviour is OK ‘How were you feeling when that happened’ ‘Next time you’re feeling like this, what could you do? How do you think you will react next time or if this happens again.’ ‘What might help you calm down next time you feel like this?’ ‘You need to decide what to do about this’ ‘I can help you to think of a different way to cope’ ‘What can you do next time that would be more helpful for you and others’ 41 Why Emotion Coach
Achieve more academically in school Are more popular Have fewer behavioural problems Have fewer infectious illnesses Are more emotionally stable Are more resilient (Gottman et al, 1997
‘Emotion coaching is about helping children and young people to understand the different emotions they experience, why they occur and how to handle them’ John Gottman 42 Family of Origin Exercise
In pairs, discuss the following:
what messages did you receive from your family of origin about these emotions and their expression?
anger sadness pride joy/excitement worry/fear
Page 28
How might your Family of Origin experience affect your response to children’s emotions? 43 Family of Origin Exercise
Sadness is to be kept to yourself
Anger is good to let out
Silly to worry
Anger is to be controlled not expressed
Anger is to be feared in others
How might your Family of Origin experience affect your response to children’s emotions? 45 Safe Conversations and Emotion Coaching
- Our champions have statutory safeguarding training
- Our champions know who their safeguarding lead is
- Our champions make sure their safeguarding lead knows about the Emotion Coaching Project
All safeguarding concerns MUST be discussed with the organisation’s safeguarding lead 47 Creating and Sharing Training Materials
‘Emotion coaching is about helping children and young people to understand the different emotions they experience, why they occur and how to handle them’ John Gottman 48 Creating and Sharing Training Materials
break Mindful Emotion Coaching Health Professionals Workshop 3 Introductions
Dr Sarah Temple - GP - ww.emotioncoaching.co.uk
Karen Leafe -Parent Family Support Advisor Ham Hill Primaries 31 Mindfulness
www.headspace.com
https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=you+tube+headspace&view=detail&mid=0DBEE8B4D1D451AD4CE90DBEE8B4D1D451AD4CE9&FORM=VIRE
.be 32 Review Home Activity
In your groups either work in pairs or clusters:
- What stood out from the last workshop for you? - Have you tried using emotion coaching and emotion tuning? Share stories where it worked Share stories where it didn’t work Were there any surprises about how easy or hard it was?
- Have you noticed anything new about people’s emotions in your work setting?
- Do you have any questions about Emotion Coaching that you would like to clarify?
.be 33 Focus For Today
- understanding the HOW TO of emotion regulation - Dan Siegel’s metaphor The Hand Model
- John Gottman’s 5 steps of Emotion Coaching 34 Focus for Today
Fear/ Worry and Anger
Rules for the Group
Working Together 2015 53 Fear/ Worry
Role of temperament Most children experience worry/fear but have difficulty showing it Different presentations Many parents don’t recognise – brainstorm *H/out Parents may model worry/fear responses Differences to CBT Use: Emotion awareness, labelling, *Managing Strong Emotions and slow breathing, *The Noodle, self soothing, coping statements Face the fear – not avoiding but using Emotion Regulation
TiINT 38,40,43 TIK 29,30 54 Anger
The function of anger
How do parents express anger now?
Modelling, physical discipline, safety issues and family emotion climate 55 Anger
Understanding causes of children’s anger (brainstorm with parents)
Vital to see all the feelings behind anger
Feelings separate from angry behaviour
Paths Envelope 56 Anger Building in a pause
Intensity of anger – different responses
When not to emotion coach
Emotion coaching after strong anger
Containment and responding to distress
Repairing and saying sorry
Avoid character assassinations or laughing
Boundaries, family rules and consequences
Time in/Time out – strengths and limitations TINT 48,49,50,51,52,53,54 57 Anger
Calming/Self-control:
Managing Strong Feelings Doing The Turtle and the Little Turtle Story Letting off Steam/ safe anger expression: Things to do when you are angry When Lester Lost His Cool
The anger spotter 58 Other Exercises
Sadness- Tuning in to Teens Hand Out 44
Responding to Rejection
TINT 44 Responding to Rejection