UNIVERSITY OF CALGARCALGARYY VOLUME 46 • ISSUE NO. 27 • JANUARY 26 • 2006 2200 yyearsears ooff pplayRiteslayRites AAlbertalberta TTheatreheatre PProjectsrojectsʼ bbrainchildrainchild sstrikestrikes aagaingain Cover by Ben Hoffman and Nicola Waugh Cover by Ben Hoffman THE UNIVERSITY OF CALGARY • VOLUME 46 • ISSUE 27 • GAUNTLET.UCALGARY.CA • JANUARY 26, 2006 Nicola Waugh/the Gauntlet No shit. Maybe the sign was for polar bears 4 EDITORIAL/LETTERS 14 OPINIONS Harper part dinosaur? Pedantry! It’s a metaphor. Turn to page four for our usual wit-loaded Check out the political lexicon 2005/2006, as well as how you social commentary. should want your children to be watched by the government. 5 NEWS 17 ENTERTAINMENT EXCLUSIVE: Harper takes it! During playRites, wrights No, really. It’s true, although you won’t read it here. We do have some juicy campus news for you to check out. It’s that write plays section 11 pages before TLFs. Yes, ATP’s behemoth festival is back and ready to kick some serious puppies. Also, gracing our mediocre pages: the return of the Kronos Quartet, Mozart’s old even for a dead guy and drugs, drugs, drugs! 11 SPORTS I have a weakness for 23 TLFS sweetness... Our gift to you Weakness for sweetness. Unfortunately, the Dinos have a No pandacide committed this week, but a continuation of the weakness for teams that win. But this week there’s tons of abortion debate and more of the scathing comments you have their cool shit and women’s hockey online. all come to love. Editorial & Letters January 26, 2006 Editor-in-Chief: Dale Miller 220-7752 [email protected] News Editor: Chris Beauchamp 220-4318 [email protected] Section Editors 220-4376 Entertainment: Garth Paulson [email protected] Sports: Sean Nyilassy [email protected] Features: RG Scherf [email protected] Photography: Nicola Waugh [email protected] Production: Adam Berti, Ben Hoffman [email protected] Opinions: Kyle Francis [email protected] Illustrations: Nolan Lewis [email protected] News Assistant: Emily Senger [email protected] TLFs: Kate Foote [email protected] Escapes and Pursuits: Chris Courtice [email protected] Academic Probation: Logan Niehaus [email protected] Business Staff Business Manager: Evelyn Cone 220-7380 [email protected] Ad Manager: John Harbidge 220-7751 [email protected] Graphic Artist: Ken Clarke 220-7755 [email protected] Network Manager: Ben Li Offi ce Assistant: Laura Gerhardt Typesetters: Amanda Robinson, Residence restricted Katy Anderson, Christine East esidence is the heart of any last. Most of us won’t even read these Canadian universities—to guar- consultations. It is doubtful that the Contributors: Andrew Barbero • Aames Barto • Rachel Betts-Wilmott • Colin Flynn campus. words, we just can’t be bothered. antee rez for fi rst-years, the plan now-planned consultations will sig- • Conor Geoghegen • Abram Gutscher R From increased participa- Recent changes proposed to the rez carries too high a price. University nifi cantly impact the plan. • Hoang Mai-Hong • Simon Jackson • tion in clubs, student government enrollment model for next year will involvement should be an ongoing The plan should hardly come Paul Jarvey • Joel Klettke • Eric Klotz • Geoff MacIntosh • Carly McKay • Daniel and on-campus volunteering, to partially address this issue. The plan process. There’s no incentive to stay as a surprise to anyone paying Pagan • Ryan Pike • Andrea Poupart • campus jobs and even more fre- is to guarantee rez space for all fi rst- involved in the campus community attention around here—like rez Ændrew Rininsland • Adam Ramsay quent visits to the Den, rez kids are years, and increase space for graduate, if you know you won’t be back again students. There will be more space • Aaron Sixclasseski • Darlene Seto • Jamie Stewart • Jon Roe • Drew Waldorf demonstrably more involved in uni- international and transfer students. next year. for graduate students (always a • Andy Warhol • Gareth Williams and versity life. They care more about the The problem is the increases come at Furthermore, the process for priority), high-paying interna- Darren Young institution, because it’s not just the the expense of returning students—to developing the enrolment strategy tional students (cha-ching) and Golden Spatula: Kate Foote, for doing Kyle’s job for him and route to their degree, it’s their home the tune of less beds. The current highlights a number of long-stand- new students (needed to hit the subsequently saving his ass. as well. lottery system to decide who gets one ing criticisms that have been leveled university’s long-range growth The Gauntlet For a commuter campus like the of the valuable spots will remain in against both Residence Services and goals). Continuing undergraduate Room 319, MacEwan Students’ Centre U of C, the importance of getting place, but the actual number of sec- U of C administration. The decision rez students—who currently are The University of Calgary, students more involved in this place ond, third and fourth year students in was made behind closed doors, the heart of campus—will have to Calgary, Alberta T2N 1N4 General inquires: 220-7750 is obvious. Most of us come here by car rez is dropping by nearly a third. without student input. Only after move over. e-mail: [email protected] or train before our fi rst class, and leave While it’s commendable—and it became apparent that word was Sounds like business as usual at http://gauntlet.ucalgary.ca the same way immediately after our consistent with a number of other out did rez services mention student the U of C. Furor Arma Ministrat The Gauntlet is an official student newspaper of the University of Calgary, published most Thursdays throughout the year by the Gauntlet Publications Society, an autonomous, incorporated body. Membership in the society is open Finally, something to be proud of to undergraduate students at the U of C, but all members of the university community are encouraged to contribute. Opinions Fourteenth in Maclean’s rankings nice things to say about the of economics in and receiv- of much criticism (especially from contained herein are those of individual several years running, a broke U of C. Well, guess what ass- ing his masters degree in , the Gauntlet) for pumping out writers, and do not necessarily represent the views of the entire Gauntlet staff. arts department and an admin- holes? We just produced a Prime Harper attended many of the conservative thinkers is respon- Editorials are chosen by a majority of the editorial board. istration more concerned with Minister. same classes with some of the sible for an important and fairly The Gauntlet is a forum open to all U of C the image of the university than In case you were living under same professors you are right well-liked political figure. Perhaps students but may refuse any submission judged to be racist, sexist, homophobic, educating young minds have all a rock guarded by vicious trolls now. Harper’s success in the election libelous, or containing attacks of a strictly personal nature. We reserve the right to edit been classically associated with the for the past week and have only As amusing as an image of the will mark a shift in the way the for brevity. Grievances regarding the Gauntlet University of Calgary. Having just managed to escape, Stephen Prime Minister hatching from populace views the U of C and the follow a three-step process which requires written decisions from the Editors, the GPS developed such nicknames as Harper, a U of C graduate, was a dinosaur egg is, it’s a topic conservatives it has a tendency to Board of Directors, and the Ombudsboard. The complete Grievance Policy is online at: ‘the U of C minus’ over the years, just elected Prime Minister of worthy of some reflection. The create. http://gauntlet.ucalgary.ca. The Gauntlet is most people typically have few Canada. Graduating with a U of C, an institution the subject Perhaps not. printed on recycled paper and uses dick and fart joke based ink. We urge you to recycle/poo on the Gauntlet. Editor, the Gauntlet: We can smoke if we want to GAUNTLET die worldwide from each no association between and Restaurant, who has reported LETTERS POLICY Smoking not a year. asthma among children ages - a per cent decrease in sales etters must be typed, double-spaced In the World Health . Don’t believe it? Then tell me since the bylaw went into effect. and received by Monday at p.m., killer Organization published the larg- where are all the childhood asthma Edmonton bingo halls have L and must include the author’s name, est study on and lung cancer. cases from the ’ , ’ s and ’ s, reported a loss of per cent student ID number, telephone number The Truth: It concluded that there was no when smoking indoors was com- in revenues and they are run to and signature. Letters will not be printed Les Hagen, an executive direc- association between and monplace and enjoyed by many benefit charity. if they include attacks of a strictly personal tor of Action Smoking and Health lung cancer. A study by the more people than today. In a debate over individual nature, statements that discriminate on stated on Jan. in a letter to the German airline industry arrived In places that have bylaws liberties, petitions, political cor- the basis of race, sex, or sexual orientation, Calgary Herald that , people at the same conclusion. bars and restaurants report a rectness, fabricated and propagan- or libellous or defamatory material. a year die from second-hand University of Chicago Hospital to per cent drop in busi- dized science should play no part, All letters should be addressed to “Editor, the Gauntlet,” and be no longer smoke in Canada.