RETRIEVER Community PAGE 10 OCTOBER 2, 1990 Adult children of alcoholics struggle to face the past happen.' After years of that, the Scott Peck one every says anything about it. Even after years of living away if you do, they'll put you in a foster of the tunnel. Experts like Retriever Editorial Staff self-esteem really takes a beating." No one ever talks about how they from the home, "adult children" home" creates a resistance to Johnsen and David feel that Dr. Larry David, director of the feel about having it there. It just often have real trouble relating talking about the realities of their group therapy can be an There are an estimated 28 Center's group for children of families, ever. extremely effective way to deal million children of alcoholics in dysfunctional families, points out "I've had the experience where with the problems associated with America; about a thousand of that adults from alcoholic back- we've covered the issues in therapy being an adult child of an them attend UMBC. grounds learn how to deny from Sins of the father for several sessions, we've talked alcoholic. And that number is growing, infancy. a lot about the parent and how "Group therapy is a major part according to most experts. Anonymous "Claudia Black talks about they affected the client," Johnsen of that help," says David. Dr. Bonita Johnsen, a staff people from alcoholic families recalled. "After several weeks, the "Because at that point you're psychologist at UMBC's Counsel- Gospel music is playing softly in he background. "Safe in the arms growing up with three basic rules: person will suddenly look at me breaking 'the rules' of silence. Of ing Center and Coordinator for of Jesus". .. an old favorite. don't talk, don't trust, don't feel," and say, 'No, I don't think my course, that also makes it the the Adult Children of Alcoholics Unable to sleep, I position my small body near the window of my David said. "If you can't talk father was an alcoholic' It's just hardest part. You've learned not program, is convinced that there bedroom. It's way past "lights out" time, I know I should be asleep. about the things that are going on, Bui I'm waiting for the truck. When will my step-father come home so difficult for them to admit or to talk, trust or feel — and that's is a "definite target group" of if you can't trust people around tonight? talk about — they're invested in what therapy is all about. So it's UMBC students who grew up in you in the family, and if you're I, see-the light coming through my mother's bedroom window. I the denial, too. And there's such going to be very hard work, it's alcoholic families. Some of her not allowed to have you feelings, know what she's doing: She's reading her Bible, or maybe writing a sense of guilt. You know, 'if I going to be a re-learning of how colleagues believe that the group then it makes it very difficult later a letter to one of her friends from church. She can't sleep, either. could just have been better, if I to think about yourself, and how might be as large as 10 percent 1 in life to even know who you are She's waiting, too. could have done something dif- to deal with other people' of the total student body. A far-off squealing sound. Tires making their marks in the asphalt — and it makes if difficult to have ferently. .'" The UMBC Counseling Center These "adult children," accord- of our street as his giant Dodge rounds the corner. A tightening in any kind of intimate Johnsen feels that the negative offers a program for Adult Child- ing to Johnsen, experience certain my stomach. My mother's light goes off. relationship." effects this has can be devastating ren of Alcoholics, designed to help common problems which stem Let the show begin. David and Johnsen agree that as the "adult children" try to make students with the "re-learning" directly from their dysfunctional He roars into the driveway, sending turf flying in every direction. adults who grew up in alcoholic their way in the world. For process. upbringings. That's a bad sign. There will be trouble — but how much? families tend to carry the same His drunken footsteps echo in through the windows. I know my example, children of alcoholics Students who are interested in "Sometimes when [adult child- problems with them into their mother will be listening too, although she's pretending to be asleep. have a far greater risk of becoming the program, says Johnsen, ren] come in," she said, "you'll school or professional lives. The We know the sounds by heart, we know the lines. There's the rattling alcoholics themselves. should "call or come by the Center find out that they're having trou- patterns of denial and guilt stick — that's him fumbling for his keys. The sad, painful squeaking of "No one knows why this and say that they're interested in ble in school, because they can with them, until they come to the front screen door. Now the front lock. He's inside. happens — we just see that it the Family Problems group or the never seem to complete a project. recognize those patterns and deal I listen carefully for every sound, tensed for a quick escape through does," she says. "Whether it's Adult Children of Alcoholics They often have trouble complet- my window, if necessary. with them. hereditary, or just from the emo- group and ask to talk to Larry ing anything. Or their friends all Oh God, oh God, oh God, please sweet Jesus, please don't let him "It just permeates a person's tional upset of the family, we're or myself. And we would talk to tell them they're too serious, or hurt. ... life," says Johnsen. "I've heard not sure. But it happens, over and them, and just go from there. We too sensitive. Those are some My bedroom door slams back against the wall. I make an instinctual people describe the alcoholic over again." would make the whole process common kinds of thing that come lunge for the window, which I had opened earlier, just in case. But home environment by comparing he's learned that little defensive trick of mine by now. He knows to Her colleague, David, agrees: real easy for them." up. it to living in a house. It's a step slowly and quietly, to give no warning that he was near. "If you grow up where you see David and Johnsen can be "The trust issue is also para- normal-looking house, at least it I'm too late. people drink as a way of dealing reached at the Counseling Center mount. They have a tendency not looks normal from the outside. with life, and dealing with stress, extension, 455-2472, or students to trust people, not to believe what (see ALCOHOLIC, page 11) But in the living room is this big when things get tough — then, are encourage to just "stop by" they see. That's because inconsis- elephant. And everyone has to later, you will drink when things the Counseling Center in room tency is the 'rule' in the family — isn't discussed. And they have to their experiences to anyone. All walk by this elephant, sort of make sure that no one from the the years of being warned, "don't get tough" 201 of the Math/Psch building. the day after an incident, everyone squeeeze by it all the time, but no But there is a light at the end says, 'no, that didn't really outside ever sees it." tell anyone what really happened; Sliwa warns Mayor Schmoke: Angels could abandon city last resort. He feels that the Angels After figuring out "the way things Russ Johnson cannot accurately present a positive Retriever Staff Writer were", Sliwa decided that his role model to street gangs if his own response to the problem would be In a scene directly out of a members are being incarcerated by to form the Guardian Angels — a Hollywood "terrorist" thriller, the police, who should be support- group which, he hoped, could several militants sporting blood-red ing the group. For Sliwa, the provide an abundance of positive berets and camouflaged fatigue dichotomy would defeat the whole models for impressionable street pants stormed the UC Ballroom purpose of the Guardian Angels, kids. Thursday night and held nearly 50 which was to provide impression- And that, he feels, is the reason students captive for several hours. able city kids with positive images that, unless there is a fast change The "siege" started at 7:20 p.m., to emulate. in Baltimore's attitude toward the and did not end for nearly two and group, they will move on to another a half hours. No physical injuries city. How, he asks, can children be were inflicted, but more than a few ". .people would expected to emulate the Angels if members of the audience did suffer be able to take the the city is treating the group like blows to the ego thanks to the hoodlums and criminals? coup's leader Curtis Sliwa, alias bars off their win- What really angers Sliwa is that "The Rock," alias "Angel One." he feels Baltimore should be able In a power-packed "Someone to dows, but they to handle the situation better than Watch Over You" speech, Sliwa would also have it is.