THINKING ABOUT “I” Compiled and Edited by Andrew S. Curtis Copyright 2007 For In-house Use Only by The Synthesis Center 274 N. Pleasant Street, Amherst, MA 01002 (413) 256-0772 WHAT IS THE PERSONAL SELF/“I”? 1. The Lower Unconscious 2. The Middle Unconscious 3. The Higher Unconscious or Superconscious 4. The Field of Consciousness 5. The Conscious “self” or “I” 6. The Higher “Self” 7. The Collective Unconscious Assagioli's Egg Diagram • “At the heart of the self there is both an active and a passive element, an agent and a spectator. Self- consciousness involves our being a witness – pure, objective, loving witness – to what is happening within and without. In this sense, the self is not a dynamic in itself but is a point of witness, a spectator, an observer who watches the flow. But there is another part of the inner self – the will-er or directing agent – that actively intervenes to orchestrate the various functions and energies of the personality, to make commitments and to instigate action in the external world. So, at the center of the self, there is unity of . will and love, action and observation” (Assagioli w/ Keen as quoted by Brown in Unfolding Self, 2004). “Self-expression or Self-realization refer to the expression of Self through the personality (with “I” acting as administrative agent [through awareness and will]. We always have the choice to resist this expression out of ignorance or confusion; this often leads to problems that bring people into therapy or counseling. Guiding is the process of helping some rediscover and 'tune into' the expression of Self” (Brown, 2004). • Describing common fears about identifying with “I” James Vargiu (n.d.) says, “It is important that the “I” not be confused with any kind of repressive agent. As the “I,” we are able to accept ourselves, including all our faults and limitations, all our negative and immature subpersonalities. Of course, as we have seen in the acceptance of a subpersonality, acceptance does not mean resigning ourselves to the status quo [or acting on every thought, feeling, or impulse that arises]. On the contrary, recognizing and accepting what is in us and our relationship with it is an important step toward changing it” “It [“I”] gives us the freedom to observe and to act while remaining fully disidentified from any part of ourselves, from any emotion, habit pattern, or subpersonality. On the other hand, it gives us the freedom to choose at any moment to become fully identified with any part – to be involved in it and experience it deeply – or to choose any intermediate degree of identification between these two extremes.” WORKING WITH “I” IN THERAPY? We are dominated by everything with which our self becomes identified. We can dominate, direct, and utilize everything from which we dis-identify ourselves (Assagioli, 2000). The following notes come from the Psychosynthesis Level 1 Training (Firman/the Synthesis Center, n.d.): • Access to “I” (Self – I) is the most important piece in therapy – finding the true client. • Moving to “I”/Self heals (in theory) all neuroses/pathology, etc. It does not eliminate pain, however, but allows one to be in “right” relationship to pain. Disidentification is particularly useful in crisis (which is a call to let go of old identity, limitations, distortions, projections, etc.). • Do not confuse the client's false positive (persona, major identification, presenting face, etc.) with “I.” All “survival” personalities have an investment in repressing shadow, certain subs (false negative, etc.), and any historically unacceptable aspects of the person. • The most stuck place is no “I” consciousness (i.e. total identification with one or more subpersonalities). Not surprisingly, working with this kind of identification in therapy is also difficult for both client and therapist. When working with a major identification (MI), find the catch. That is, find “What doesn't work” about this identification or subpersonality and see if it can expand beyond its boundaries. Push the edges of the MI and see what else pops up – usually the opposite or buried subpersonality. Help the client find motivation for change by assessing the MI's limitations. • Gaining access to “I” exists along a continuum from complete “I” - Self experience (major peak experience, disidentified moment, enlightenment experience, etc. [rare and passing] to any and all experiences of our most or more mature subpersonality, observer, wise being, etc. “Most Mature Subpersonality” (MMSP) represents the most “I” consciousness available at any time. It will change over time and there is a strong tendency to cling to a MMSP after it has outlived its usefulness. MMSP then becomes a major identification, and limiting as a result. Thus movement is continuous and not fixed. Consequently, the principle of “Disidentification” is forever and “I” is never seen as static or an ultimate state to be achieved.. 2 • Finding “I” space (or MMSP) is detective work that never ceases. It is a barometer of your work with the client. The variety of what that looks like is vast. MMSP could look only marginally functional or close to enlightened. TECHNIQUES FOR ACCESSING “I” While we can't speak the truth of “I,” we can recognize and develop contact with it through a variety of exercises found in psychosynthesis and elsewhere. Really, everything in psychosynthesis points towards “I” as it is the most important piece in therapy – finding the true client (Firman/The Synthesis Center, n.d.). The “Who Am I” , Disidentification, and Self-Identification exercises (Yeomans, 1989) are basic psychosynthesis techniques for increasing “I” awareness along with all phases of will development and subpersonality work. Many forms of psychotherapy and meditation develop “I” awareness. Both also foster some degree of will development as well, though they tend to under-emphasize it my opinion. The following methods can be used to help the client contact “I” in a session. It is by no means complete or exhaustive (Firman/The Synthesis Center, n.d.). • Use guided meditation to quiet the mind, ground into the body/sensation or contact purpose, meaning, etc. Note – There is an assumption that if a person leaves mind and identifies with their heart, that he or she will be able to access “I” more easily. This is not always the case as a person can usually access “I” most easily through their dominant function which tends to be the least wounded (i.e. Thinking, Intuition, Imagination, Emotion, Sensation, and Impulse/Desire). What this looks like will be expanded upon when we work explicitly with the psychological functions. • Ask questions that can only be answered by “I.” (e.g. Who is asking this question? What part of you is observing this problem?) • Acknowledge exercise of “will” and explore which Aspect, Stage, or Quality is involved or is missing if that seems useful. • Likewise, listen for and acknowledge “soulful” qualities such as faithfulness, fairness, courage, creativity, joy, patience, etc. • Ask the client to “....be aware of whatever within you is always the same.” • Ground physically • Disidentification/Self-Identification: I have “X” and I am not “X” - I am a center of pure consciousness and will. These principles can also be cultivated and supported less directly through the guides' presence and way of relating. • Breathe in “X,” Breathe out “Y.” • Anything that is transpersonal in nature (Meditation, guided imagery, wise being, prayer, movement/dance, vocalizing, Ideal Model, bodywork, nature, seed thought, etc.) This type of work is “talk therapy,” but not in the usual sense of the word – it is not cognitive therapy. A single tear, accompanied by embodied awareness can be sufficient for transformation. It is not necessary to get to the bottom of rage in order to have a profound effect. What we need to do is identify/embody the experience enough to be able to disidentify from it. Disidentification does not have to be forced, it is natural. Children are perfect examples of this. They grieve and then they let go of grief and it is over. 3 EXERCISES: A MEDITATION ON STOPPING THE WAR WITHIN This meditation from A Path with Heart by Jack Kornfield (1993) is a nice place to begin developing the ability to observe your experience without becoming identified with the experience itself. Allowing yourself to truly feel and accept the pain and conflict within you, albeit at a manageable and appropriate pace, is a prerequisite for harmonization and transformation of the personality. Sit comfortably for a few minutes, letting your body be at rest. Let your breathing be easy and natural. Bring your attention into the present, sit quietly and notice whatever sensations are present in your body. Be especially aware of sensations, tensions or pains you may be fighting. Do not try to change them; simply notice them with an interested and kind attention. In each area of struggle you discover, let your body relax and your heart soften. Open to whatever you experience without fighting. Let go of the battle. Breathe quietly and let it be. Then after a time, shift your attention to your heart and mind. Now notice what feelings and thoughts are present. In particular, be aware of any feelings or thoughts you are now struggling with, fighting or avoiding. Notice them with an interested and kind attention. Let your heart be soft. Open to whatever you experience without fighting. Let the battle go, breathe quietly and let it be. Continue to sit quietly. Then cast your attention over the battles that confront you today. Sense them inside yourself. If you have on ongoing battle with your body, be aware of that. If you have been fighting inner wars with your feelings, or have been in conflict with your loneliness, fear, confusion, fear, anger, grief or addiction, sense the struggle you have been waging.