Bulk Rate US Postage PAED Permit No. 7 Lexington, VA m * Sm g-tum $In V o l u m e 9 8 , N u m b e r 6 6 6 W a s h in g t o n & Le e U n iv e r sit y A pril 1, 2 0 0 1 President Elrod tours with KISS By I.P. Freely hundred percent.” said Kiss guitarist. “He is a kick-a** bass player and a real Phi Staff W riter asset to the band.” President Elrod sent a letter, to the Elrod’s announcement, came as a Trustees last week informing them of major shock to the Trustees. “1 respect his leave of absence starting spring term his decision,” Gerry Lenfest said. “His ALL NUDE, ALL THE TIME: and lasting throughout 1997. reasons were solid and his motives were The W&L Art Department will be holding a porn exhibit, Details of the letter were leaked to clear. 1 think the University should Tuesday in duPont Auditorium. This is the first in a series of The Ring-tum Phi. In it, Elrod told the stand solidly behind President Elrod.” events the Art Department is planning in order to expand its trustees that he had to “follow his Also leaving the University will be horizons. Next week they will be presenting a series on dreams,” and went on to say, “this is an David Howison, who signed on after decorative taxidermy. opportunity that few collegiate Elrod asked him to be a Kiss presidents get. I think that it roadie. “I’m excited,” said LEYBURN HOSTS STORY TIME: will help the University’s ex­ Howison, “this is like all my Leyburn Library will be holding a special ‘read-aloud’ posure.” This evidently in­ childhood dreams come story time for kids six and under. The event will be held in cludes subbing in for Kiss bass true.” Northern Auditorium on Thursday. player Gene Simmons. Many other professors Some examples of the works which will be read include Elrod has been a long-time have stated they would like excerpts from novels by Stephen King, the Book of Revela­ friend of several Kiss mem­ to go on tour with Kiss as tion and poetry by Charles Manson. bers. Inthemid-1970’saKiss well, but their classes do not spokesperson said, “Our makeup and permit it. BRING YOUR OWN SACRIFICE: outfits are inspired after those actually “I would love to go out and groove worn by John Elrod.” with Kiss,” Lloyd Dobyns of the jour­ A symposium hosted by the English department will be Over the years, Elrod has written nalism department said. “Unfortu­ held in Lee Chapel at 5 p.m. Friday. The symposium entitled freelance songs for the band. His credits nately, I just don’t have time with my “Starting Your Own Cult: People Will Like Y ou,” will feature include “Lick it up,” “I Like it Loud,” classes and my techno band’s rigorous discussions on everything from demon summoning to recog­ and the smash hit “Rock ‘n’ Roll All funk practice sessions.” nizing your ride off the earth. For more information, contact Nite.” Elrod and Howison will join the band Satan via the Registrar. “It was a shame he left the band, but in Richmond on Wednesday. Mimi Elrod will join them in San Francisco. W&L WANTS YOUR GOAT: at his successes, we support him one Photo by Uh...I forget Due to the sudden breakdown of all Building and Ground’s lawn equipment, the University asks all students with grazing farm animals to bring them to the Hill on Friday to help graze W&L student goes Mexicano down the grass. Note: To protect your animal’s safety, all goats must be off y \ • , 'J‘f ’’ "V By Ricky Arnez the lawn by 5 p.m. as not to coincide with the cult symposium. P hi Staff W riter OUTING CLUB SHOWS SKIN: Senior Steve Frame has given up his job search for To celebrate the opening of the Art Department’s porn after graduation. Although Frame has been offered exhibit, the W&L outing club will be hosting a nude party in management-track positions by several Fortune the Dell on Tuesday. Party goers are asked not to stare too 500 companies, he has decided to persue a career hard at President Elrod if he decides to attend. as a guitarist with a strolling mariachi band. Spring Term, Frame will intern at El Puerto Mexi­ JOIN DRUG SUPPORT GROUP: can Restaurant. “I’m really glad I’ll be able to spend Local area residents and W&L professors have teamed up [Spring Term] getting practical experience in my to try to teach drug awareness to the Rockbridge area commu­ field,” Frame said. “El Puerto actually has been very supportive of the arts since its ppening. For nity. The group Will^meet-on'Tuesday flights: ' am o b < ; i a while, they had a woman who would dance on GHO SERVES SPECIAL MEAL: the bar during the break between lunch and dinner.” After the cult symposium in Lee Chapel on Friday, the Beverly Lorig, director of the Career Develop­ GHQ Bistro 9000 X v0.9 Beta will be holding a special meal ment and Placement Office, helped arrange Frame’s for all attendees of the event. The menu will include roast internship. “This is another of our many success lamb, Rocky Mountain oysters and applesauce laced with stories. We’re really quite proud of Steve. We’re Phenobarbital. Shots of vodka will be Served for dessert. still exploring options for after graduation, but right now we’re thrilled with his internship. If DO YOU WANT TO DANCE: we can’t get anything solid by June, Steve is just Photo by Seymore Butts The music department at W&L will be sponsoring a class going to go to Tiajuana and see what he can on how to dance the Lambada. The unique aspect of this event find.” In another decisive move, is attendees will be taught the dance uSing inflatable turtles. Frame's musical career is a success story. He got the Lex P.D. made another Classes will be held on Thursday and Friday. For more Photo by Cheech and Chong his start entertaining people during the Mr. W&L information, please contact the music department. contest in 1994. He has high hopes for the huge bust which turned up mariachi band and hopes to eventually become a whole lot of crack. PSYCHIC TO SPEAK IN CHAPEL: the most well known mariachi player in all the On Saturday, three psychics from the highest peaks of Play that funky music white boy. world. Tibet will speak in Lee Chapel. The talk, entitled “What Your Dead Relatives Say Behind Your Back,” will cost $3.50 for the first minute and $1.50 for each additional minute. Easter Bunny captured by locals B ig M outh For more information, concentrate and they will Apparently, the Easter Bunny was making his Easter contact you. By Santa Claus rounds, stealing all of the children’s eggs in the area' in order P hi Staff W riter to make a giant omelet when local hunters caught sight of gets beaten WE HATE YOU, TOO: him. Do you think no one likes you? Do ypu feel like you are the The most wanted criminal since Charles Manson was “I wasoutlookingfordeerto kill and decapitate forawall- By The Instigator and The B all Boy least popular person on the Hill? Well] you’re right. captured thismomingatapproximately5:30a.m. The Easter hanging, when I caught sight of his ugly yellow hide.” Bunny, wanted in all 50 states, was shot 43 times by local area Rockenheimer said. “He was standing with his back to me. P hi Staff W riters BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH: hunters’ tranquilizer guns. I think he was relieving himself.” Blah blah blah, ba blah ba ba blah. Blah blah, blah ba-blah “He went down like a 80 pound bag of manure,” Keith Rockenheimer went on to explain he quickly loaded Freshman Kevin McManemin, who in last week’s Phi suggested fraternities “create new methods of ba blah blah blah; blah ba blah. Ba blah tilah blah, blah ba blah R. Rockenheimer, a Lexington resident, said. some tranquilizer darts into his rifle and opened fire. socially acceptable torture” for their pledges, is now blah blah blah blah. “It was great!” The Bunny, who has been sought after by the police, the “When all my buddies heard me shooting, they all started eating his words. national guard and all four divisions of the armed forces, was firing too. We were lucky that they were shooting tranqs too It seems the brothers of the house McManemin wanted forbreakingand entering, kidnapping, libel, slander, or that big Bunny would be full of holes instead of full of pledged have taken him up on his offer. LastFriday, — Compiled by Yo’ Momma drunk in public, indecent exposure, petty larceny, bad taste, dope,” Rockenheimer said. McManemin was taken to Schenectady, New York’s terrible body odor and the murder of the Energizer Bunny, The Easter Bunny was taken to the Lexington Police infamous red-light district. Upon arrival, McManemin reports, he was forced who was found battery-less last Friday, his drum tom from Department where he was booked and thrown into the drunk to drink horse semen. “It really is a lot like Pabst and his mangy pink hide. tank to sleep off the tranquilizers. Natty Light,” McManemin said. “ I was just making that up when I wrote it in my column.” McManemin was paddled, forced to define and use the word “delineate” in a sentence, figure out the meaning of life, change his socks and make passes a* inanimate, objects.