BDSM and Women’s Gendered Embodiment: Other-Than-Sex Pleasure, Pain, and Power By Morgan Oddie A thesis submitted to the Graduate Program in Cultural Studies in conformity with the requirements for the Degree of Doctor of Philosophy Queen’s University Kingston, Ontario, Canada September, 2020 Copyright © Morgan Oddie, 2020 Abstract Bondage/Discipline/Dominance/submission/Sadism/Masochism (BDSM) is most frequently conceptualized as only non-normative, ‘kinky’ sex. In this dissertation, I combine feminist ethnographic accounts of women’s experiences as BDSM practitioners alongside theoretical frameworks of gendered embodiment to propose a reading of some BDSM practices as other-than-sex. Rather than narrowing the definition of sex, I instead take up Foucault’s expression of the possibilities of bodies and pleasures to explore how alternative relationality is formed between practitioners with some types of BDSM play with pain and power. In doing so, there is an expanded potential for women’s queer pleasure and a real possibility of disrupting patriarchal social structure with practitioners’ altered being-in-the-world. This analysis is centred on accounts from eighteen women participants in Toronto and Ottawa, Ontario, Canada, who were active BDSM practitioners. Participants in this project challenged traditional understandings of pain and masochism to produce new understandings of both. They accounted for safety and risk considerations in practices that help formulate a more robust consideration of the complications of consent in other-than-sex practices than is typically allowed for in either mainstream or BDSM-specific frameworks of consent. Lastly, they expressed conceptions of the strategic eroticization of power that accounted for it in play without eliminating the social power that some bodies exercise more flexibly than others. The alternative relationality that is fostered by other-than-sex BDSM practices is powerfully intimate and based on the radical vulnerability and bodily access between practitioners. ii Acknowledgments This dissertation is dedicated to my partner, who is my favourite person, biggest fan, and unwavering foundation who encourages me to flourish in all things that I do. I am deeply indebted to the participants of this project who opened themselves to share their experiences, thoughts, and feelings with me. They were truly the backbone of this work and have taught me an immeasurable amount. Thank you to my bio family, especially my parents, for supporting my academic and professional choices. Each endeavour, however different than the last, they answer with pride and praise. I would not have been able to complete this without the emotional labour of countless individuals in my networks and collectives. My mentors are too many to name. Lastly, I’m grateful for all of the bottoms, switches (and sometimes even the tops) in my life whom I love and am loved by. iii Table of Contents Abstract ....................................................................................................................... ii Acknowledgments ..................................................................................................... iii Glossary of Terms ....................................................................................................... vi Chapter 1: Introduction ............................................................................................... 1 The Early Sexological Study of BDSM ................................................................................................ 8 New Sexuality Studies .......................................................................................................................... 11 Radical Feminist Objections .............................................................................................................. 13 Other-Than-Sex Stakes and Claims ................................................................................................... 18 Chapter Outlines ................................................................................................................................. 21 Chapter 2: Feminist Methodological Considerations .............................................. 26 Rationale for Research Approach ..................................................................................................... 28 Participants and Communities in Research Design ........................................................................ 33 What Does it Mean to Be a Feminist Ethnographer? ...................................................................... 42 Methods for Interviews, Transcriptions, and Coding ..................................................................... 48 Chapter 3: Bodies and Gendered Embodiment ......................................................... 54 What’s Sex Got to Do With it? .......................................................................................................... 55 Phenomenological Bodyminds ......................................................................................................... 59 Material Bodies and Fleshy Vulnerabilities ..................................................................................... 63 Chapter 4: Painful Sensations ................................................................................... 76 Traditional Understandings of Pain and Masochism ...................................................................... 78 Reimagining Sensational Pain ........................................................................................................... 84 Connecting Pain Inside and Outside BDSM .................................................................................... 92 Chapter 5: Consent, Safety, and Risk ....................................................................... 100 Don’t Make People Drink Tea and Other Simple Consent Lessons ............................................. 102 Safety, Sanity, and Consensuality .................................................................................................... 105 Risk Awareness and Mitigation ........................................................................................................ 112 Community Responses and Considerations .................................................................................... 115 Communication and Consent .......................................................................................................... 118 Pushing Boundaries and Consent Violations ................................................................................. 122 Conclusion ......................................................................................................................................... 125 Chapter 6: Power ...................................................................................................... 127 iv Trust and Intimacy ........................................................................................................................... 129 Social Power ...................................................................................................................................... 133 Feminist Politics and Desire in Kink ............................................................................................... 139 Power and Play .................................................................................................................................. 141 Power, Play, and Race ....................................................................................................................... 146 Power to and of Consent .................................................................................................................. 154 Conclusion ......................................................................................................................................... 156 Chapter 7: Conclusions ............................................................................................ 158 Suggestions for Future Research ..................................................................................................... 164 Final Thoughts ................................................................................................................................. 166 References ................................................................................................................ 168 Appendices ............................................................................................................... 179 APPENDIX A: Recruitment Poster .................................................................................................. 179 APPENDIX B: Letter of Information and Consent Form ............................................................... 180 APPENDIX C: Interview Guide ........................................................................................................ 183 APPENDIX D: General Review Ethics Board Approval .................................................................. 184 v Glossary of Terms BDSM: compound acronym for Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, submission, Sadism, Masochism; umbrella term for a wide range of mutually consensual practices that involve playing with power and sensation/pain. Bondage: the physical restriction of a BDSM practitioner using different techniques and tools, including specific clothing, rope, and other materials. Bottom: the recipient of physical sensation in a BDSM