The Pretty T Girls Magazine A publication of the Pretty T Girls Yahoo Group Published for the Most Beautiful Girls In The World April 2019 1 2 In This Issue PAGE Editorial by Barbara Jean 3 Pastor Redefines “Church” For Transgender Youth 4 Do You Need Gender Dysphoria To Be Trans? 6 How To Talk To Transgender Youth According to Experts 9 Don’t Overdo It. Advice for Passing 14 Bluestocking Blue 15 Acceptance By Volunteering Part 2 19 The Adventures of Judy Sometimes 22 Marie’s Memories 25 Módhnóirí 27 Terri Lee Ryan 28 8 Beauty Tips For Women Over 40 31 How To Make Red Lipstick Last All Night 34 Celib Trick That Makes Dark Lipstick Look So Much Better 35 Humor 36 Angels In The Centerfold 37 Mellissa’s Tips & Tricks 39 Plus Size Stores Making Fashion More Inclusive 45 So You Think Pajamas aren’t chick 52 What You Can Expect to Pay For Clothing Alterations 56 Tasi’s Fashion News 57 Ladylike Laws: Proper Party Girl Etiquette 59 What is Etiquette 60 Lucille Sorella 62 13 Ways To Save On Utilities 67 From The Kitchen 69 How To Cook A Perfect Ham 74 11 Simple Cooking Tips You Need To Memorize 77 The Gossip Fence 81 Shop Till You Drop 90 Calendar 98 3 Yesterday vs. Today An Editorial by: Barbara Jean As Ilook at various poston the various yahoo groups Ibelong to or on some of the facebook groups I belong to it is nothing uncommon to see that when we are going out enfemme we seem well accepted or well treated by people. I think back to the 50’s, the 60’s, and even the 70’s and wonder could we go out enfemme without problems back then? I think the answer inmost cases is no. I recall reading where when Christine Jorgensen stepped off the plane she did not get a very friendly greeting, but rather was looked on with disdain. In San Francisco we may all have read about the Compton riots where cops would come and harass the cross dressing patron at the café. I recall a friend telling me that in New York for a drag queen to go to and from work enfemme they had to get a license from the city and they could not stop anyplace while enfemme. In the early 70’s I recall a friend telling of how after making an illegal U-turn in Chicagoshe was hauled into jail becauseshe was enfemme and her DL indicated her as a male. Back then I doubt that one could go into a store, a restaurant and be serviced. We would not be able to go to our bank and cash a check. What church could we go to and worship as our true self back then? Today it is a different story. Something like 19 states and countless cities have laws that prohibit discrimination due to gender expression or identity. Passing is not the big issue today as it was forty or fifty years ago. Oh yes we still face problems inmanyplaces, but things are far different today. Go shopping, go out to eat, do your banking etc. it matters not if you are full time or not, people todaydon’t reallypayall that much attention to us. Admitted depending on where you live and what kind of work you do you maystill face discrimination in trying to find a place to live or finding or keeping a job. Itis nota perfectworld todayfor no matter where we live westillmayon occasions find ourselves facing harassment by some idiots. One thing to remember is thatwhen we go outin public we are,each and everyone ofus,an ambassador for our community. We determine how people will view the transgender. How we dress andmost important how we act willspeak far louder than anything we maysay. Look and act respectable and treat others with respect. I think these are the most important things to acceptance. The world, it’s a better place for us todaythan it was for us years ago. We todaywill determine what the world will be like for us tomorrow. 4 Pastor Redefines 'Church' For Transgender Youth Jesse Valles (from right,) Isaac Apodaca, Lamar Kellam and Sydney Harrison get in line for the free Sunday dinners offered at the Rebel and Divine church, a congregation in Phoenix that aims to help at-risk youth, many of whom are homeless and transgender. Stina Sieg/KJZZ Some churches have become inclusive of gays and lesbians, but for transgender people, church can still feel extremely unwelcoming. A congregation in Phoenix is working to change that byfocusing on the everyday needs of its members —manyof whom are homeless trans youth. It starts with a free dinner every Sunday night with donated homemade and store-bought dishes. "There's no shame. There's no judgment. It's here to help. We're about health and wholeness," says the founding pastor, Jeffrey Dirrim, as he points to countless toilet paper rolls on the table for anyone to take. It was toilet paper week. "And you need toilet paper, we've got toilet paper." There's no shame. There's no judgment. It's here to help. We're about health and wholeness. Jeffrey Dirrim, founding pastor of Rebel and Divine The congregation, called Rebel and Divine, has a mission: To reach at-risk youth. It grew out of a Christmas shoe drive years ago and it nowserves about 200 attendees a month under the umbrella of the United Church of Christ. The attendees are people in their midteens andmid- 20s, gay and lesbian kids, homeless kids, and especially transgender kids — people often unwelcome at other congregations. Katrinna Alexandros says until she started attending, she didn't know she could be friends with Christians. "My whole life, it's just been Christians are the ones who hurt everyone, and here it's not," Alexandros says. She was raised a strict Southern Baptist and a boy in a conservative, religious town in rural Kentucky. At the age of 9, she realized she was trans. Althoughshe never officiallytold her late mother, she says hermom always knew. But Alexandros felt it was religion that kept her 5 mother from fully embracing who Alexandros was. Now, as a 23-year-old Wiccan, Rebel and Divine is the onlychurchshe can imagine herself attending. "There's no other place like it. It is a place that you can be yourself and get help and help others," she says. Katrinna Alexandros was raised in rural Kentucky as a boy and a strict Southern Baptist. Now, as a trans woman and a Wiccan, she says she can't imagine feeling comfortable in a church other than Rebel and Divine. Stina Sieg /KJZZ There may not be readings from the Bible or the mention of the name Jesus, but there is a reliable, consistent togetherness. Sydney Harrison doesn't identifyas male or female, and uses the pronoun "they." Harrison says Rebel and Divine gives them something in their lives theycan always count on. Harrison comes here both for basicsupplies like toothpaste and for human connection. "Just coming in and getting hugs from everyone does a big difference for me," Harrison says. The 24-year-old is very connected to their mom, but says many here aren't so lucky. Some of the young people here ran away from home. Others were kicked out. "We're there for each other, and we love each other," Harrison says. "Even as unconventional as we mightbe or as crazyor as hectic as itmightbe,we'restill family,at the end ofthe day." Rebel and Divine is a familythese young people are choosing and where theysupport each other. Dirrim hopes they will always feel safe. "Know that you are blessed, that you are loved, and that you are never, ever alone," he says to the attendees after themeal. He reminds them that no matter what, theyare worthy. "And if anyone has told you otherwise, theywere wrong. You are. And if you question that, come talk to me." With that, the congregation heads out, manyof the kids with heaping plates of leftovers. "We broke the bread, we shared the cup tonight. We had community that came together with a family of choice, and we talked about hope and love and joy," Dirrim says. "Many who came in here wounded still walked out of here today with smiles on their faces. And that is church to me. " It's an ancient pattern of Christian worship. People gathered, shared a word of grace, and a meal — and then Dirrim sent them back out into the world, with a blessing. 6 Do You Need Gender Dysphoria to Be Trans? Debating the role of anguish in trans identity. “A woman trapped in aman’s body.” Open anybook on transgender issues written before 2010 and you’ll probablysee that exact sentence (or its inverse) pop out at you somewhere. Even today, ask anyrandom person what it means to be transgender and they’ll probablyslip some form “trapped in the wrong body” mention in there. To many, the transgender experience is simplythat; a person whosemind is at war with their own body. Arelationship with one’s anatomydefined bydistress and anxiety. This feeling is known as gender dysphoria, or the distress or discomfort at realizing that one’s gender identitygiven to them at birth does not match with the gender identitythey feel most comfortable with. Gender dysphoria can come from the body, where one may feel distress over a part of their anatomy, such as their genitals, chest, or hair.